#probably not since i made an among us joke instead

[differenttriumphdragon]

[Big-Shot Minnie was ejected.]

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

CONGRATS!! I’m happy that your page is getting recognized, because it’s such a comfort page for me. Also yes, it is me from the Childe Question/Wriothsley idea.

Anyways, my ask behind it, is if SSKK (Atsushi and Akutagawa) and Lucy came alone with a Female reader. I want to say teen, but later teen, like 15-17. Not yet an adult, but also not a young teen. I also want to probably have the reader be just as protective of them as they are her, since they mean the world to them.

Thank you very much for writing it. And once again, congrats!!

Thank you, I am happy, that my fics are comforting to you 😊

If you weren't alone

Part IV

Characters: Self-Aware! Platonic! Atsushi Nakajima, Self-Aware! Platonic! Akutagawa Ryunosuke, Self-Aware! Platonic! Lucy Maud Montgomery

Reader: Fem! 17! Reader

Warning: English is my second language

🐯🧥☕ Last few days were terrible. First, Atsushi, Lucy, Akutagawa and you were transported to the Wolvendom. Second, you do not have your phone and have no idea, how to contact the rest of BSD Cast. Third, landing was harsh, causing you to hurt your ankle. Thankfully, you did not hurt it too much, but Atsushi insisted on you not moving, until your leg healed. Of course, you cannot just camp in the wilderness for next few days. Monsters were not a problem (Akutagawa did not like, when that Rifthound Whelp got too interested in your company, but you must find a way home. However, Lucy quickly found a solution.

Atsushi, Akutagawa and Lucy went to Mondstadt, while you were staying in Annie’s room, with Annie keeping your company. You were not very fond of the idea of staying in safe place, while your friends are facing Teyvat’s monsters. However, you do understand that with your leg you cannot do much to help.

🐯🧥☕ They arrived at Mondstadt at night. It seems that no one was sleeping. Knights and normal citizens were searching for something. Or someone.

They immediately find the reason for all the commotion. There was hundreds of wanted posters with your face on it. In addition, with strange text.

“IMPOSTER AMONG US! Dirty Sinner dared to wear the face of our beloved Creator! By an order of Their Holiness and Blessed Acolytes, capture it! Made them pay for its crimes! Bring it to an Ivory Throne. Alive!”

Trio were shocked. Thousands of questions rushed through their minds.

‘Creator?’ ‘Imposter?’ ‘Sinner?’ ‘Crimes?’

What is happening? It does not make any sense!

Then Lucy noticed something under the main text. Something written in a small font.

Lucy felt her5 mouth became dry. She whispered.

“Prices… For [Y/N]’s body parts. Creator ordered to bring them to her.”

Rashoumon’s blade tore the poster from the wall, leaving claw like marks on the wall. In less, than a second, paper was tore apart with draconic fags. Atsushi nervously looked around, but, luckily, no one noticed Akutagawa’s outburst. And anxiety were replaced with anger.

You were in danger. A good person was in danger, blamed for something they didn’t do. You, the best person in the world, were in danger.

Lucy, knowing, that both males were close to do something drastic. Dazai’s training were paying off. Lucy herself wanted to let Annie play with few of this “blessed acolytes” (no one would get away with threating her friend), but it wasn’t the right place or time.

“Let’s get out of here”

Trio left the city unnoticed. On their way, Atsushi took one more poster with him.

🐯🧥☕ You thought, that after trio reached Mondstadt, Lucy would call for you to leave Annie's room. You didn't expect trio appeared in Annie's room instead. You also didn't expect Atsushi, Lucy and Akutagawa looking worried and angry at the same time.

Did something happen? Atsushi was clutching some sort of paper in his hands. Atsushi looked down, then up, then hold the paper towards you. It takes you a few minutes to read through it. With each word, you felt worse and worse. You can't even joke about chosen words. You were horrified.

Lucy's voice was soft.

"[Y/N]... I think, you should stay here with Annie. To be safe."

You raised your head, looking shocked. The poster fall from your hands, where it was caught by Rashomon's jaws and torn apart.

Lucy had a point, she does. But what if something happened to Atsushi, Akutagawa and Lucy while you stay here, protected? You wanted to protest, but, before you can open your mouth, Akutagawa stepped closer and grabbed your shoulders. He knew you good enough to knew what you wanted to say.

"No, [Y/N], you will stay here. We want to protect you, and this way we can protect you the best."

Akutagawa's eyes slightly soften.

"I knew, that you are worried about us. But, we won't be in danger. These idiots won't care about us. Brainless bastards, like a herd of sheep, will follow this rotten shepherd's command. Please, trust us."

Atsushi stepped next to Akutagawa, ignoring his harsh glances.

"[Y/N], I promise, we will be careful. Please, stay here."

Reluctantly, you agreed.

🐯🧥☕ For some time, plan worked. People of Mondstadt were more interested in finding you, than paying attention to three outlanders. At least, until Albedo saw them.

These days, Albedo didn't pay attention to anything strange. He is more concerned of So-Called Creator's attention towards Klee and Alice. Godly brat was spoiled, had a temper and, unfortunately, was smart. The girl on the Ivory Throne, near whom Albedo felt a stench of rotten flesh, was ruthless about another 'Imposter'. Albedo felt rage. This poor girl wasn't the first 'imposter', and, Albedo was afraid, not the last.

And all of them would face the same fate...

That's when Albedo saw Lucy, Atsushi and Akutagawa. He remembered, how Alice showed photos of this people to him and Klee, after coming back from one of her otherworldly trips.

Albedo took few steps towards trio. And felt it. Warmth.

Warmth, that Albedo could only call as godly, were coming from trio.

Albedo must act fast.

🐯🧥☕It took alchemist multiple attempts to reassure Atsushi, Akutagawa and Lucy to come with him. In his lab on Dragonspine, you finally left Annie's room for the first time in days. Albedo checked your ankle and finally explained, what the whole "Imposter" situation were about.

He also explained, how you can return home.

According to Albedo, Alice was your only hope. Aether and Lumine were loyal to 'Creator'. And Albedo doubt, that they would even let you explain, that you aren't imposter, have no intent to stay here and just want to go home.

But Alice was forced by False Creator to travel from nation to nation, staying on one place for few days, and currently was on her way to Sumeru and, if she suddenly return to Mondstadt, it would be suspicious. So, you four could either try to chase after her, or stay in Mondstadt and wait for Alice's return. You were relatively safe, thanks to Lucy.

You four decided to stay in Mondstadt. You still feel bad for staying in safe Annie's room, while Atsushi, Akutagawa and Lucy were facing against Teyvat's monsters. But, once again, others insisted on you staying with Annie.

🐯🧥☕ For a few days, everything was fine. Until "Creator" visited Mondstadt. People were cheering, when her carriage was going through streets of Mondstadt. That's when she noticed Lucy, Akutagawa and Atsushi, who were picking up groceries.

She wasn't native to Teyvat. She knew who they were. And she knew, that you must be near.

Before the end of the day, three more wanted posters were hanging alongside yours.

🐯🧥☕ Now four of you were on a run. You refused to stay in Annie's room. You were running alongside your friends. You were fighting alongside your friends. You were fighting your way through seven nations (Bennett, Razor and Fischl helped you find a good bat), chasing after Alice. Liyue, Inazuma, Sumeru, Fontaine, Natlan, Snezhnaya...

And, before you could return to Mondstadt, you were attacked once again. This time, by your exact double.

🐯🧥☕ She was sure, that Atsushi, Akutagawa and Lucy won't dare to attack her. That they won't attack someone, who looked like their dearest friend. She was mistaken. She may look like you. But everything in her was fake. She was a fake. A disgusting fake, who was reeking of rotten meat.

Atsushi, in his tiger form, sank his fangs into her arm. Rotten, stale blood flow down his mouth.

She screamed and raised her free hand. She was holding a dagger.

Before "Creator" could plunge it into Atsushi, you hit her arm with your trusty bat.

You also had no reason not to hurt someone, who was hurting your friends.

During your battle (Atsushi Nakajima, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, Lucy Maud Montgomery and [Y/N] [L/N] against "Creator" and Holly Knights /some troopers from mililith, knights of Favonius and Fatui/) your emotions, your anger reached their peak.

The portal opened under your feet.

_____

💉💰 Mori and Francis were rechecking last messages they got from others. Still, no news about your whereabouts. After quick discussion, both Mori and Francis decided to check the forest again. On their way, they heard loud noise coming from the barn.

They hurried there.

🐯🧥☕ You four were here. Tried, with scratch and bruises. But, mostly, unharmed. But, the most shocking sight, was Akutagawa, who was holding your exact double with his Rashomon. Black strips were holding her by her arms and legs. After taking a second look, Francis and Mori saw, that your double looked off. Her clothes, while looking expensive, looked tasteless, her face looked fake, her body looked fake.

And, if the angry looks, that Akutagawa, Atsushi, Lucy and you were casting towards her indicate something, she must have done something horrible.

But it can wait. For now, you four need rest. You can finally stop worrying. You four finally were safe.

______

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters

[milaisreading]

🌱🩷: Idk, smn wanted a pt2 with Chigiri's sister.

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Masterlist to this story

"What?! I am not doing that! Forget it!" (Y/n) yelled as she stared at Ego and Anri in disbelief as the two adults(Anri) stared at her in guilt.

"I am so sorry, (Y/n). We tried to talk the JFU out of it, but they are adamant for you to pull this PR stunt."

"Why me?!" She asked again, disgusted with the whole idea.

"Because you are the captain, and thanks to your talent of always getting into trouble, the dating rumors caused quite a spike in this project's interest." Ego added in as (Y/n) rolled her eyes.

"That dating rumor is a big misunderstanding! Listen, I doubt that Chigiri-san would like to be used like this, and neither do I. Can't you ask someone else?" (Y/n) asked desperately as the two adults shook their heads.

"We tried, since we knew you would not agree to this, bit since you are among the popular members, and the captain, the public would be more interested in you."

"The JFU said that either you do this, or they are not allowing you to participate any longer."

"This has to be a joke." (Y/n) muttered as she heard the last part of Ego's explanation.

"Sorry..." Anri said as she walked over to pat (Y/n) on the back.

"Chigiri will have my head for this. He will kill me."

(Y/n) shivered as she remembered how the redhead reacted to Otoya looking at his sister.

Chigiri had already woken up with a headache, and he just knew that the day will not get better from there. However, what he didn't expect was seeing his sister walk into the dining hall, causing the present players to stop in their meal to look at her. A mixture of confusion and surprise on their faces.

"Sis? What are you doing here? How did you even get inside?" Chigiri raised his eyebrow as his sibling approached him, looking around the room for someone.

"Your coach and assistant coach called me here. Where is (Y/n), anyways? They called me because of him."

"Why?" Chigiri narrowed his eyes at his sister, as the rest fell completely silent.

"What's with the rude tone?" The older teased and pinched Chigiri's cheek.

"Isn't that the girl who was spotted with (Y/n) a few weeks ago?" Tokimitsu asked nervously.

"It is... why would she need him?" Niko wondered, glaring at the redhead. Hiori raised an eyebrow as he inspected the older Chigiri.

'Well, she is pretty. But is she really (Y/n)'s type? He seems more like someone who is into football.' Hiori tried to reason, ignoring the jealousy he was feeling towards the girl.

"Hmm... I swear, if she came to distract him from training..." Karasu rolled his eyes as Otoya put his head on the table.

"You worry too much. (Y/n) is way to shy around girls. Remember when they approached him after our win." The boy snickered, causing Yukimiya to let out a few chuckles as well.

"It was an adorable sight."

"Well, he isn't here." Kurona decided to speak up, causing the two siblings to look at him.

"He we out to train with a few other members. He will probably not be back anytime soon." The shark boy said, knowing he pretty much lied at the last part.

'Maybe it will make her leave.'

"Yeah, that lukewarm idiot decided to practice instead of eating and resting. He was joined by a few more idiots as well." Rin grumbled, earning a slight jab from Aryu.

"Stop acting so jealous. Maybe you can join him next time for practice."

"I am not jealous." Rin silently hissed, which made Kunigami roll his eyes.

"You acted all grumpy when you were told by Reo that they won't need any more players while Nagi and Bachira dragged him away."

"Shut up."

"Why... why do you need to talk with him? You told me that you two aren't even close." Chigiri asked his sister as they ignored the whispers from the fellow players. The girl looked at him for a moment, contemplating what to say when the door opened.

"Nagi, stop hanging off of him. You are heavy." Reo groaned, trying to pull him off of (Y/n), as Isagi and Barou were busy getting Bachira off of him.

"Can you two stop doing that? Don't you see that he is uncomfortable?" Barou glared at the duo.

"I am his closest friend, tell that to this buzzkill." Nagi glared at Bachira as the boy poked his tongue out.

"Can you all just calm down?" Isagi facepalmed as (Y/n) silently groaned.

"Ah! (Y/n), there you are!" The girl jumped up as she heard the older Chigiri, and blinked at her.

"Chigiri-san, you are here already?" (Y/n) asked in surprise as she walked over to her.  The younger girl flinching a little as she felt Bachira and Nagi tighten their holds on her.

"Yep~ didn't want to keep you waiting? Did you eat anything?" She asked in worry as (Y/n) finally got the two boys off of her,

"I ate something this morning." She said, sounding very awkward.

'I know that Ego-san told her about this plan...' (Y/n) thought, jumping as the older Chigiri grabbed her arm.

"Aww~ you are being shy! Cute!" The redhead teased, pinching her cheeks.

"Chigiri-san, that hurts." The player groaned as the team watched them in a mix of envy and sadness.

"Nee-san, can you stop that?! He is uncomfortable." The younger Chigiri demanded, glaring at his sister.

'Did it get colder in here?' (Y/n) thought, looking at the other players, who were glaring at them.

"Oh... you didn't tell them?" The girl asked as the captain shook her head.

"No. I was training the whole morning-"

"What is going on?" Karasu suddenly asked as everyone looked nervously between the couple.

(Y/n) looked at her team,unsure how to answer the question, especially with how Chigiri was staring at her.

'He will kill me in my sleep!'

The older sibling decided to speak up instead and pulled (Y/n) closer to herself.

"We are dating now. Isn't it normal for a girlfriend to visit her boyfriend?" She asked, blinking at Karasu.

'Her acting is good to a scary degree.' (Y/n) thought as the room fell eerily silent.

"Are...are you guys ok?" She wondered out loud as the boys had unreadable expressions. Behind her, Isagi was holding back an enraged Bachira, while Nagi was doing the same with Reo. Barou just blankly stared at (Y/n)'s form.

"Oopss... you really didn't tell them..." The older Chigiri chuckled as (Y/n) slowly nodded her head.

"Yeah- Chigiri, are you alright?" She asked, looking at her teammate's pale face. The younger said nothing as he blinked at the two a few times.

'This can't be for real...'

[g-xix]

thoughts on ksi’s new banger ?🔥🔥🔥

STOP IT BROTHER IT'S SO ADDICTIVE AHHAHAHAHAH

lemme give some NON SERIOUS, GOOFY THOUGHTS n then give some /srs thought-provokers for you.

So, what are my thoughts on this funny tune?:

It's just really funny.

It is so... discord and anime coded. It's giving "I picked up x and just... started - and it's been a whirlwind since then, and idk how i got here, but im a master of the craft now.." And it is so jokes, makes me wanna laugh at him + tell him to su because of how stupidly GOOFY IT IS

I go to skl still btw for those who don't know, and being among ppl my age who have a similar internet feed as me is HILARIOUS - BC THIS SONG IS EVERYWHERE.

Like bro - my skl is celebrating black history month (shoutout to black ppl + all POCs asw) and one thing the year-13-diversity-group have been doing is playing songs by black artists with speakers over the canteen every lunch.

So there's genuinely been a whole hall of people chanting FEIN this week at my school.

But not only that - thick of it was also played, and fuck me was it acc hilarious hearing a whole chorus of "THIS IS HOW THE STORY GOES!". Even at the end of assembly where the speakers blasted Thick Of It whilst everyone walked out as a fun lil treat. Too fucken funny bro.

The way me n friends will just burst into song asw with the: "From the screen, to the ring, to the pen to the king!" with anime characteristics asw is always such a little giggle for us

But now...

Serious thoughts about JJ n this music stuff?

I don't feel for JJ - because he's warranted all the hate or jokes upon himself - but I empathise. I feel sympathy for why he feels like shit... But I fear that he does deserve it.

Starting with: Lunchly.

Lunchly? It was always a stupid business venture for him. Great for Logan and MrBeast - but i fear jj just got roped along bc he's logan's business partner, now.

Because bffr- what the fuck reasoning does JJ have to be marketing a product to Americans?

Lunchables is almost solely for American Kiddies, but JJ's influence is prettttyyyyy UK n Europe based. Sure, he's got fans in America - but it's so stupid for KSI - a British celebrity - to be marketing and having to endorse and support a pretty primarily American product that isn't gonna touch the UK for a long time (god bless the EU health policies)

So, because he has everyone hating on him for releasing lunchly - a very poor quality food which is marketed as a "better as lunchables" product whilst having negligible differences....

KSI's ruined his credibility. Because he's becoming a joke.

Bro built up a fanbase for 10+ YEARS of people who followed him because they honestly liked him, and is ruining all that trust and relationship by using this same fanbase for money and hoping they buy into his quick money-grabs... It's got Logan Paul and American YouTube/business written all over it ibfr... But it's so saddening to see it happening to YouTubers I really did like..

So, everyone thinks KSI's a joke because he released a shit product and won't take DanTDM's thwack of reality, that says "JJ, what you're doing is immoral and unethical."

Aaaand then JJ drops a song.

Reason?

Well, it can either just be that JJ wants to post music again... Or to distract everyone from the fact that Lunchly and JJ's credibility is honestly fucking awful atm.

Problem now, is that instead of people eating up the new music as the KSI team probably expected - "YAY, KSI RELEASED NEW MUSIC!" - everyone's hating on it because:

a) no-one likes him because he beefed with DanTDM b) no-one likes him because he uses his audience's trust to make himself more money with no interest in the goodness of his fans c) it isn't a very.... hardman song.

JJ knows his audience. His target audience and who watches most of his content. Probably Middle-Older teen boys... So when you release a wet little song talking about your life and hardships you face with a cutesy lil beat and melody - THESE BOYS THAT YOUR FANBSE IS MADE OF THINK IT'S STUPID!!!!!!!! BECAUSE GUESS WHAT FANBASE YOU'VE CREATED!!!!!! ONE THAT'S COMPRISED OF PEOPLE WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS MUSIC!!!

If you're a man that posts try not to laughs and reveal that your sense of humour and primary style of jokes is something that's racist or homophobic or misogynistic or targetting fat people - any minorities or group of people that face a lot of bullying...

You attract bullied; you attract what you put out into the world. Which in JJ's case, has been these insensitive mid-older teen boys that are also fans of racism, "dark humour", misogyny and these targetted jokes.

No-one (in his audience) likes his body. And it's depressing him, which feels so interesting to see. And his reaction (the sadness and crying over nobody liking his song) I've boiled down to being sourced from either one of three things.

a) Ego. Is he hurt because of his ego? Because he thought this'd be a good song, and he sees himself as some sort of impressive, incredible man - and seeing his song actively get memed as a whimsical little anime song hurt his ego? Because he feels as though he deserves respect and to be loved? b) Depression. Consider the Poppin' song released in lockdown; everyone online said it's shit. JJ could take it on the chest though, and could handle that feedback - smiling and laughing and content with knowing himself, that it was a good song - even if not everyone agreed. Here, JJ is so hurt by all the criticism. And that could be out of depression... After all, can you really be happy when the whole world seems to hate everything you do? I empathise - but I acknowledge that he's brought it all upon himself. All of his controversies are BUSINESS RELATED and caused by him wanting to manipulate his audience into buying his products, without caring about his fans. It's ruined his credibility, because people dislike him for it, and he gains a lot of negative responses for it. Everything negative we see and ourselves post online could very well be making JJ feel just truly hated. He might honestly just be depressed and in quite a vulnerable and raw state, whereby he can't handle the criticism because he's already so hurt he can't bounce back. It's like putting more and more weight on a broken bone; it won't recover and it's only getting worse. Is JJ so unenthused and flat in his reactions towards the criticisms towards the songs because of genuine depression? c) Marketing. The tough fact is that all these reactions and memes for his song gain media coverage and plays. Because this song is so shit that it's addictive. And JJ acting sad and playing into the fact that he doesn't like getting bullied does frankly make ppl run this joke even further, and mean that this song just spreads even further. For all we know, the sadness JJ shows in reactions to this song are literally all just an act meant to boost the song even further.

d) Manipulation. Issssssss JJ just manipulating you into feeling pity so that you start empathising n sympathising with him and brush his lunchly + poor-business-ethics-misdemeanours under the rug? Does he just want to manipulate you and evoke a sense of pity to rebuild a relationship and rust between you and "KSI", so that you'll forgive him for everything you condemned him for online? MAYBE!

I've just been analysing this guy in his reaction vids + online, and honestly, it's so interesting having a little contemplate between Biology and Chemistry and shitting Maths <3

Either ways, hope you enjoyed the big old psychiatric evaluation. Lmk your thoughts in the comments too my friends in the screen, ring, pen and king *blade swish noises*

[panda-writes-kpop]

the dreadful need in the devotee ~ lee gahyeon

a/n: sorry for all my international folks, I know I'm late (curse you comp sci homework for taking hours to complete) but happy Gahyeon day!! here's your daily dose of existensial dread and sadness in case you haven't felt that way recently :] (all jokes, but apparently I was in my feels when I wrote this)

tw: fluff to sadness, main character death, car accident, some religious elements, we almost got a happy ending folks

acknowledgements: inspired by hozier's talk and the pjo series on Disney plus!

word count: 2.8k

summary: a recollection of the five times you couldn't look at Gahyeon and the one time you did, but it's staged during a modern retelling of one of my favorite greek myths of all time (5+1 trope my beloved <3)

♡ Masterlist ♡

As the burning taste of alcohol travels down your throat, you think about why you’re here on a Wednesday night.

Here wasn’t home, the place you most often were found. Home was your paradise, your inspiration for your work - but you had been in a rut lately. Nothing seemed to spark your creativity, not even a hot drink and a warm bath would do.

So you wandered down the street, hoping to find something that would make you and your work feel alive again. Instead, the couples you passed on the street only chose to dig at a wound that you had covered with the patchwork of self-isolation.

Since tonight was an utter failure, much like most nights this month, you turned to the one thing that made everything a little better - booze. A drink sounded nice, especially as the last couple you passed discussed their wedding and future together.

You slid into the first bar that you found that was not too far from your apartment. Five blocks was a new record for you, considering that every store you needed was only two or three blocks from your apartment. Maybe you’d print out a certificate so you’d have some marker of success to hang on your wall.

World’s Most Introverted Person Travels Two Blocks Farther Than Usual!

You need another hobby besides drinking and bad jokes.

You’d turn to art, but blank pages and screens peek out at you from every corner of your apartment. That wasn’t an option, and you had already used all your daily wanderlust to find a bar, so drinking would have to do.

It wasn’t like the bar was busy or anything - weeknight traffic was slow, especially on Wednesday. You were sitting at the bar, making occasional idle chatter with the bartender and another patron who seemed to be in a worse state of despair than you.

You were fine in your bubble, and it wasn’t like anything would pop it any time soon-

Then you see her.

Your eyes landed on a group of girls sitting in a corner, but the girl that draws your attention is everything you had imagined and so much more. With bright pink hair, it was impossible to see anything but here.

She was a beautiful white lily among the tall grass, a sweet melody floated over syncopated beats. She was the sun, and you were a comet that was about to crash into her orbit. She was everything, and you were nothing.

…And she was looking right at you.

Fuuuuuck.

You immediately look away when she bounces up to you - she’s probably going to talk to that other person, right?

You couldn’t look her in the eyes, even when she, in all of her beautiful glory, was right in front of you. 

“Do you want to join us for drinks?” Her eyes are inviting as she holds her hand out to you.

You try to find a reason to say no, but she sparks something within you. Something warm and kind, buried under the safety blanket that you wrapped your heart in.

She wasn’t your inspiration, not yet, at least. A muse, perhaps?

Whatever divine intervention brought you together was well needed.

Even though you couldn’t look her in the eyes until you were both drunk enough to forget everything but each other.

~

Gahyeon, her name was. 

Even though the headache fucking sucked (but was so worth it, considering the extra phone number in your contacts), things started to look up for you. You could actually produce art, which meant that you could pay your landlord on time.

Your apartment was a mess while you were in a funk - a proper decluttering was in order. If you weren’t inspired to do art, you definitely weren’t inspired to do household chores. You shudder as your mother’s voice reprimands you about keeping your place tidy.

Perhaps sending proof of life would get her voice out of your head. Yet again, she’d probably call you and then want to visit, which would make things worse.

Suddenly, doing the dishes instead of mentally stalling doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Tedious doesn’t begin to cover your feelings towards the stacks upon stacks on dishes, which hadn’t grown mold or attracted flies, thank god. You decide to set your phone aside (you’d checked it three times since you decided to do the dishes, maybe you need to get a safe to throw it into) before filling the sink with water.

As you add soap to the water, your phone chimes. You shut off the water, as flooding your apartment would be worse than cold water, you reason.

You were sober enough to put Gahyeon’s name in your phone, but your capitalization skills were a bit… questionable.

gAhyEOn: hey u up?

    some friends and I went drinking last night, and I need a pick-me-up.

    you wanna go for coffee?

Coffee? As in a coffee date? As in you’ll be face-to-face with Gahyeon alone, after you probably made a fool of yourself a few nights ago? 

Well, you don’t remember much about that night, do you?

God damn you, vodka, you taste good in too many mixed drinks.

You quickly respond with a ‘Sure! What time?’ after contemplating what to say for an uncomfortable amount of time.

gAhyEOn: Does thirty minutes work for you?

    I’ll send you the address, see if you can make it there in time.

Your phone buzzes, and afterwards, you plug the address into Google Maps - it’s only a block farther than the bar you met Gahyeon in. If you quickly scrubbed a few dishes and put proper clothes on (the Pokemon pajamas were cute but not ideal for a “first date”), you could make it there in thirty minutes if you run-walked.

You send her a confirmation text, telling her that the time and place will work. You manage to finish a quarter of the dishes (you’ll totally finish the rest of the dishes instead of continuing your latest masterpiece) before throwing on a comfortable outfit that’s perfect for a first date. You grab your wallet and phone before heading out of your apartment. 

The walk to the cafe takes a lot less time than you had considered, but that was probably because you were going through a hundred and one different ways that you could make a fool of yourself.

Although you nearly ran headfirst into a pole when you saw Gahyeon waving at you in the distance, you had made it to the café.

Even if you were a bit too embarrassed to look her in the eyes, a bit sweaty from run-walking here, especially after she told you off for being late.

“You’re five minutes late. I thought I told you thirty minutes, not thirty-five-”

“In my defense,” You raise your hands in the air, “I’m worse at directions when I’m sober.”

“If you buy me coffee, I may forgive you.”

“Let’s test that theory, huh?” You open the door for her as she gracefully smiles.

You let out a nervous sigh before closing the door behind you. You’ve got this, right?

Maybe the gods would push some luck in your favor.

~

Gahyeon didn’t think you were a total loser, so that was a plus.

She even agreed to a proper first date, and then a second, next a third, and you’d somehow convinced her to become your girlfriend… which meant that she would be moving in with you since you’d been dating for a year and a half.

Time flies.

“Can you help me with these boxes, babe?”

After shoving more of your supplies (holy fuck how much shit did you own) into a spare closet, you join Gahyeon at the door to receive the box that she had in her hands.

“I got it,” You say before immediately swearing after the box rests in your arms, “what did you put in here, a bowling ball?”

“Three, actually,” Gahyeon offers a sweet smile as you shake your head, “it’s just the first box of my clothes. You can set it in the bedroom, if you would.”

“The things I do for you.” You scoff before shifting the weight in the box (seriously, what was in here?).

You take a few steps forward as Gahyeon wanders around your apartment. She peeks into the room you just left before letting out a gasp.

“You didn’t move your work so I could have more space, did you?”

You pause, not turning to meet her eye, as she accusingly charges toward you.

“Yah, babe, I told you to leave that stuff there! You know how much I love seeing your work.”

You hightail it to the bedroom before she tackles you into a warm hug. You both dissolve into giggles, heavy boxes and caring anger set aside, as you enjoy her presence.

“I love you.” She whispers before kissing your lips.

You wonder what god of love was paid off in order to match you and Gahyeon, but you didn’t care. Everything worked, you two worked, and your work spoke for itself.

That’s all you ever needed.

~ 

A wedding ring was the other thing you needed.

You had fiddled with the ring for ages, wondering when would be the right time to propose. 

Gahyeon deserved the best, after all.

So you just asked her one day, when the moment was right.

And she said yes before bursting out into tears. You were quick to comfort her, of course, but you felt like you had ascended to another plane of reality.

Finally, everything made sense.

Your creative energy was at a high, so you were producing plenty of work. You were ahead on rent, enough so that you could save up for a house and a wedding, eventually.

Gahyeon stood in the kitchen, admiring the ring on her left hand, as you wrapped your arm around her waist.

“The ring’s pretty.” She says absentmindedly as you squeeze your arms, which makes her laugh. “What’s up?”

“I got bored. Something told me to go out here and check up on you.” You give a small shrug before kissing her cheek. “What are you up to?”

“I’m going to head to the store by my old place to pick up a few things. Do you want anything?”

For some reason, your stomach sinks. But why, you wonder? She made this trip often, what was so awful about it now?

“Are you sure you don’t want to go down the street, to the convenience store?” You try to convince her as she shakes her head and manages to escape your grasp.

“I’ll be fine, babe,” She turns to give you a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing the car keys on the table, “are you worried about me?”

“Maybe.” You give a noncommittal answer before checking the clock. “Be home for dinner!”

“I will, I promise.” She walks away and grabs the doorknob before turning back to you. “Hey!”

“Hey what?”

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Gahyeon winks at you as you look away in embarrassment. 

It’s crazy that she still has this effect on you, years later.

She laughs before shutting the door as you stare at the front door to your apartment like a lovesick golden retriever waiting for their human to return.

You couldn’t wait for her to return back into your arms, so you could make dinner and spend the rest of your night together.

~

Four hours.

It had been four hours since Gahyeon left.

Should you be worried?

She would’ve texted, called, told you if she would’ve been late. Gahyeon expected the same of you, even though you weren’t the most prompt person at times. 

You should stop pacing before you have to add carpet replacement to your laundry list of things to buy. The sun had gone down, but that meant that traffic must’ve been heavy, right?

You need to take a walk before you worry yourself into an early grave.

You grab a light jacket before exiting your apartment. Taking a walk around the block has always helped clear your mind, but your heart pangs with a new hurt as Gahyeon always liked to go on walks with you.

She was fine, she had to be fine.

You round the corner, only to want to immediately retreat back into your home.

A car accident.

The worst part?

Gahyeon’s car was among the wreckage.

Police officers pushed the surrounding crowd back, and you scream when you see an EMT pick a bloody ring out from among the wreckage.

Not just any ring.

Her ring.

You can’t look anymore.

~

You hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks.

You hadn’t created anything since the day she died.

Three weeks.

Twenty-one days.

Five-hundred and four hours.

Thirty-thousand, two-hundred forty minutes.

You can’t breathe, can’t think.

You need to open a window.

The light casts a gentle glow over your apartment.

It’s a wreck. You’re a wreck. 

How fitting.

Your phone rings. It’s probably your mother, asking why you didn’t come to Sunday dinner for the third time in a row.

You can’t tell her about Gahyeon, you could barely face her parents and tell them what happened. You were choked up then, and you hadn’t felt much better since.

Your heart had been ripped from your chest.

You pick up your phone anyway.

“Do you want to see her again?” A deep male voice echoes from your phone speaker as you sigh.

“You have the wrong number. Have a good day.” You say with no emotion as the voice quickly replies.

“It’s Gahyeon. I have Gahyeon.”

“Who are you? Where is she?”

“Go to the bar where you first met. I’ll meet you there and take you to her.” 

“Hold on, how do I know you’re not-”

You pause as you hear the other line beep repeatedly. 

He hung up on me. What a dick.

~

“What do you want?” You gruffly ask as you slide into a booth opposite a man dressed in an all-black suit.

He fixes his silver locks for a moment before looking you up and down.

“You want the girl back?”

“Gahyeon,” You correct, “and I want her here as much as her family does.”

“Would you do anything for her?”

“Yes.” You answer immediately as the man smiles.

“Good, good.” He snaps his fingers as the scenery around you changes. 

You’re forced on your feet as the booth disappears behind you.

“What the fuck-” You look at the walls, which expand in every direction and then disappear behind walls of fire and stone.

The man walks forward as a set of stairs appears before him.

“Who are you?” You ask as the ground underneath you begins to shift.

“Death, not the devil.” He answers after sitting down on a throne made of fire and magma. “I have a proposition for you, since your love for Gahyeon has moved my wife. I’m feeling rather…. generous, shall we say?”

“What’s the catch?”

“You have to take the long way out, with you leading and her behind. You can’t look back to see if she’s there, you have to trust yourself and trust her. Understood?”

“I-” You pause while weighing your options.

Could you lead her out of Hell? A dangerous adventure, sure, but it would be worth it to bring her home.

“I accept.”

Death snaps his finger before a door to your left appears.

“Walk through that door and begin your journey.” 

You place your hand on the door before looking back at him.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me until you get to the other side.”

~

You didn’t expect walking through hell to be a cake walk, but you were absolutely exhausted. 

Who knows if death himself didn’t trick you in the first place? 

You couldn’t look to see if Gahyeon was behind you, and you couldn’t hear her speaking as well.

You just had to trust yourself and trust her.

You trusted Gahyeon, of course you did, but did you trust yourself enough that you wouldn’t have been fooled?

Everyone in hell is looking at you as you climb up towards the exit.

You can do this. You should do this.

Is she really behind me?

You should keep going. You have to keep going.

Your footsteps begin to slow as your breath becomes ragged. You were tired, but you were almost there.

You see the light, see everything that you would have again.

You reach out to embrace the light, you’re almost there.

Is she there?

Gahyeon gasps as your eyes connect with hers.

“You… were there.”

“I always was.” She softly answers before backing up towards the darkness.

“I made a mistake.” You try to reach out and grab her, but she’s fading away from you.

“I know.”

“I love you.” A tear falls from your eye as she disappears into nothingness.

“I know.”

Just like that, she was gone, and you were alone.

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

u/JustALittleButtonHatRat:

AITA for not wanting to burn a dried mushroom?

I (adult M?) am staying in a huge mansion with several of my friends for the winter. Two of those friends are O (adult M) and S (adult M), the latter of whom I swear is a witch. A couple of weeks ago, I went exploring in the basement of the house and found a dried blue mushroom with orange spots; I decided to keep it because I thought it was pretty.

A few days ago, after a very dangerous incident involving sizeshifting cat clones (blame S for that), some of my friends and I went to the boiler room of the house and saw it was filled with this blue fungus that was the exact same thing as my mushroom. Apparently, there's an infestation of it in there (O planted one in there to get rid of an insect infestation and then it spread out of control all over the place), and they give off toxic spores that can kill everyone if you breathe them in. O and some of S's family members apparently got killed by breathing in those spores (don't worry, O's okay now).

I then pointed out that I had my dried mushroom and nothing's ever happened to me because of it. O and S panicked and told me to burn my mushroom, with S wanting to confiscate it in order to destroy it. I refused to, because maybe it's harmless if it's dried like mine? I was okay the whole time I had it.

S then opened a way into the toxic spore boiler room, apparently to show me how unsafe it is to go in there? He said it was a warning, but I told him outright that it sounded like a threat.

Later, I talked with my lawyer friend about this and they said maybe we could have used my dried mushroom to investigate more about this kind of mushroom, especially because S (who is, as I said, a witch) might be able to make something that can make us immune to the toxic spores.

I suggested this to them, but S said that "nothing good can come of it" and refused to, and that witchcraft always goes wrong whenever we used it (re: sizeshifting cat clones. Also, another friend E and I got turned into cats once because of a potions accident; it was a whole thing, don't worry, we're back to normal now). When they told me to throw the mushroom in, I faked it and threw in something else instead… I just couldn't do it. My mushroom never did anyone harm for as long as I've had it.

I couldn't keep it a secret for very long after that because my lawyer friend made me swear I did, and I ended up giving the mushroom to S so he could burn it.

AITA for wanting to keep the mushroom? I'm really sad just thinking about it now.

Edit 1: For context, S is the resident farmer and chef among our friends; O is the resident tinkerer/engineer/scientist guy, and we joke that he makes all of the rules.

Edit 2: It's been about a week and a half since the incident and S gave me a replica mushroom he made as a Christmas present. Should I forgive him?

[Out-of-universe disclaimers: The entire post would, in theory, have probably been written with the help of other rats because this would chronologically take place before "A Letter to Home". I'm hand-waving the "how they got the mushroom" part because r!Will canonically did not remember this, but let's just assume (for the purposes of this post) that we as fleas/chat reminded them of this by tracking the VODs.]

[This post was written at the request of @willowmvp.]

[Cross-posted on AO3 as "The Mushroom Incident".]

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

please support this blog

🦇 Fall For Him Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite rom-com (film or book)? ❓ 🦇 Falling through his hot neighbor's ceiling and landing directly into his bed probably wouldn't make Derek Chang hate Dylan Gallagher any less, especially with a poorly timed "It's Raining Men" joke. Though Dylan focuses all his ADHD hyper-fixation energy on getting the repair job done as quickly as possible—avoiding doing anything stupid like acting on his very inconvenient crush—Derek tries to ignore that the tattooed nerd sleeping on the couch is surprisingly witty, smart, and kind, despite the long-term grudge Derek’s been holding against him. But will squeezing all their emotional baggage plus a dog into a tiny one-bedroom apartment be a major disaster…or just prove they’re made for each other? Fall for Him combines banter, hijinks, and heart in a story of finding out what it means to fix things after your life crumbles.

💜 I was fortunate enough to read Andie Burke's debut (and this story's predecessor), Fly With Me, last year, but I didn't expect THIS. Fall For Him is so much more than an enemies-to-lovers, forced-proximity, gay rom-com continuation. There's no list of tropes that can contain the banter, hijinks, mental health rep, and heart within this story. There's so much grief, healing, and love within this story, matched by wit, banter, and fun, descriptive prose. All of it grabs and holds readers with the same beautiful intensity of an old-school rom-com. Andie Burke's writing has truly BLOSSOMED between Fly With Me and Fall For Him; a feat I'm always glad to see a year after discovering a debut author.

💜 Since I can't contain it all in a concise little paragraph, here's What I Loved: ✨ The mental health rep (including the misconception that someone is rude or antisocial or weird when really they're trying to manage a condition). ✨ Derek's outrage on Dylan's behalf, then fiercely standing up against Dylan's family. ✨ The. Bat. Man. ✨ Felicity, my quippy, hilarious, bisexual babe, and her Depraved Shenanigans. ✨ Jodi, just entirely, my demisexual, forest nymph queen. Andie Burke. Please. Please tell me the next book is Jodi & Felicity (my two emotional support gingers). PLEASE. ✨ All the home reno/construction puns. ✨ All the nerd references (the crack in Amy Pond's wall!) ✨ Every character description. Seriously. ESPECIALLY the boys describing each other pre-kiss. And after kiss. ✨ All the quippy, silly banter. ✨ Light blue scrubs. ✨ "Stupid, lovesick, radiant joy." / "Kay." ✨ The older sibling protective/fix-it mentality. ✨ Loving broken things.

💙 By now, you know miscommunication and third-act breakups are among my least favorite story elements. However, this story STARTS with miscommunication; one moment seen from different perspectives that's therefore misconstrued. After realizing that, Derek actively tries to keep that miscommunication from breaking them. He's one of the first MCs I've seen that tries to avoid a third-act breakup before it happens. I do wish we'd lingered in that moment a little longer, seen it happen differently instead of time-jumping to a week later, but it doesn't shatter the story the way third-act breakups often do. I will say I did cry at the end of this one, so the conclusion amplifies emotions in a way that works.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Red, White, & Royal Blue or Boyfriend Material.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🔨 Mental Health/ADHD Rep 🫀 Contemporary Rom-Com 🖱 Enemies to Lovers 🩺 Forced Proximity ❤‍🩹 Grief Rep/Healing 🐕 Animal Companion 🧠 2nd in a Duology 💙 Dual POV

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #FallForHim

💬 Quotes ❝ I love that English uses the word falling to describe the initial rush of love, capturing the stomach-sinking danger of opening your heart over a chasm of what if. That anyone could love all those deep-inside, messy, jagged bits we try to hide from even ourselves feels like the greatest impossibility. But after all, it’s the impact with the ground that hurts, not the fall, so I guess that’s why the best partners are the ones who cushion us. ❞ ❝ Much like a home renovation project wherein hidden, expensive disasters are created when you try to fix the cosmetic parts only, sometimes you have to break things down entirely before anything gets repaired. ❞ ❝ I wrote it at a time when I needed a reminder that people who feel like their bodies and minds and souls are being held together by caffeine and off-brand Scotch tape deserve to find and can find their person. Because when the ground beneath our feet is crumbling in every possible sense, sometimes we don’t just need a safe place to land. We need a safe place to fall. ❞ ❝ Breaking something sometimes doesn’t mean you’re broken. ❞ ❝ Awkward social interactions created small fractures in his mental armor. Every crack allowed old insecurities to slide right back into his brain. ❞ ❝ That smile did things to Derek. Things he’d rather not admit. ❞ ❝ “I looked for you when I woke up.” ❞ ❝ In his personal experience, every time he invited someone into knowing about his sexual identity, it felt like a small test with big stakes. It was like whispering Are you going to be comfortable with my existence? into a void and just hoping what came out didn’t attack you. ❞ ❝ You deserve stupid, lovesick, radiant joy. ❞ ❝ “I think Felicity wakes up each day and chooses violence.” “You’re not wrong.” ❞ ❝ “Do not ever let someone make you feel that small again. Because you, Dylan Gallagher, are not fucking small.” ❞ ❝ Because if he broke down, how could he still be the one who fixed things? ❞

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog 8: Episode 5, AKA the one where we discuss Kerubim's dead family again

Since I made pointing out the food they eat A Thing we do here, let's start out with that for this episode.

First of all, their household is so fish-centric. An octopus? A lobster?? A different lobster and a fish?? Plus, multiple bags, one under the lobster, and one under the giant veggie on top of Joris's other veggies. Probably some grain, I guess. Simone is also carrying some greens in a bag.

Basically... Man, they love fish and veggies, I guess?

Yet again, we see Kerubim's low self esteem and need for validation in action.

Yes, he thinks he's amazing. Yes, he uses magic to force people to laugh at his jokes. And yes, it makes him very happy and proud.

Don't worry about it. :)

I find it kind of interesting that Joris is resistant to the magic, but the simplest explanation is that his soul is intermixed with a dragon. I won't think too much about this.

Joris should have a salary for the way Kerubim's reputation hinges on him not talking about the shit that goes on in their house.

Like the deadly swords and cursed items everywhere. Or having mold and rotting meat at every corner for his whole life.

Considering that bamboo milk is alcoholic, I am fascinated by the in-universe implications of this line.

I wish boil-able, alcoholic oat milk was real.

The best way to get Kerubim to do something stupid is to make fun of him. Again, his low, low self-esteem making an appearance.

Genuinely, instead of being at the bar, he should have been in therapy.

Very small note, but we can see an amputee among the many patrons who listen to Kerubim's scary drunken rambling. I wish more cartoons included this sort of thing.

Though, this might be a bit of a brick-joke, considering what we learn about YeCh'Ti and his arm collection.

COUGH COUGH COUGH. ANALYSIS EVENT LEVEL 10 ALARM WEE WOO WEE WOO.

Firstly, god. The sheer insanity of going from his child self's grief and pain over losing both of his parents, all of his sisters and brothers, to making jokes about this, jokes about having no family and being lonely.

Is it really funny to you, Keke? Or are you just pretending again?

Second of all... I could talk for hours about how much I love/despise this man, but fuck, the sheer level of cruelty in this line knows no bounds.

Are you really The Last Crepin in your family, Keke?

Or are you just being cruel and facetious again?

Cruel, and towards the only other person in the whole world who would understand what you went through, because he also went through it?

(This is, yet again, your signal to go read The Wheel of Destiny #8: Kerub Crepin and Dessous De Dofus)

No wonder Atcham wants to turn him into a coat. I would fucking hate him too.

Though, with Atcham kind of using his hate for him as a coping mechanism for not having control in his life, and canonically not thinking that Kerubim really... mistreated him, when they were young, it's far more complex than that.

Especially with the way Kerubim's own conflicted feelings on their relationship are portrayed in-canon.

I'm so normal about them. Haha.

...Aaaanyway, onto the rest of the ep, while trying to pretend this doesn't make me feel all sorts of emotions:

This moment is a continuity error, because Ogrest hasn't started his quest for Dofus yet. Also, he may not even be alive yet. Yes, Kerubim and Joris are that old.

It's too cute of an easter egg for me to mind, though.

God. Joris needs better loved ones. His standards are so low he's looking at Kerubim like 🥺

Something-something Kerubim would genuinely kill himself if it meant people thought he was funny and cool.

I don't think he learned anything from this, actually.

I think we have to kill this guy with hammers.

[valeriefauxnom]

Dev's (C)Leo Biases,

Or,

A Comprehensive History of How Leonidas Became Nearly Everyone's Object of Thirst

So, among the Dragalia Lost team, it was rather well known that they admitted to a strong Cleo bias.

It's pretty easy to see, in anything from Cleo's early spate of alts, like Dragonyule and Summer in quick succession, to the utterly random unique outfits they flaunted in ch.9 that you can just tell they drew for funsies but really liked them and wanted to put them in the game despite it serving no real purpose...

The dev team just really, really loved Cleo and drawing her. But after they apparently used up their Cleo allowance to make Gala Cleo probably the single strongest character in the game at the time, they cooled it down a bit.

However, as much as they were apparently thirsting over Cleo, I would joke that somewhere along the way, some part of the dev team, feeling desperate now that the yearly Cleo Allowance was running dry as they prepared to release Gala Cleo, decided to find a new fixation to quench their addiction.

And since Cleo was off-limits, they turned to the next best thing: crossing out the C in Cleo to find their newest substitute Dev Thirst character.

That's right, we're talking about the one and only Leonidas.

Leonidas had kinda just melded into the background with the rest of the siblings at this point to my observations. Sure, he was a campaign antagonist. People weren't particularly clamoring for him in particular over the other siblings, though. Honestly, I'd wager Emile was more popular at this stage, even in a 'love to hate' sense, just because we'd already seen him so much.

But then, it started. Whether it was art like this being posted on their twitter just a few scant months before G!Cleo's debut...

...They just seemed to have a certain edge in artworks featuring Mr. Curry in a way to make one squint and tilt your head sideways.

For instance:

It's one of those cases where you just kinda get a feeling the artist(s) found x attractive in a way that simultaneously still can give you a moment of self-doubt if that's not just you projecting because there's no blatantly obvious signs, you know? Whether it's something about the posing, or angles, whatever it is, I got this air increasingly whenever they put out any Leonidas art.

Thankfully, they decided to put me out of my misery and just flat out make what's likely the single most suggestive wyrmprint (or honestly art piece in general since Dragalia was thankfully very very very tame) starring none other than, you guessed it, Leonidas.

(Secret Cygames/Nintendo conversation, probably: "As you can see, it's vitally important that we draw this character in a speedo with sparkles around him." Nintendo: "...I'll allow it. This time.")

Even if he puts on some more clothes in the refined version, we're still back to that air I mentioned, as the shot focuses almost entirely on him instead of the wildly popular Chelle or his pet panther (which, yes, seemed to be an actual pet of his):

Even the Ilia-damned funny chibi comics got in on this thirst train as it went on and made quite possibly the raunchiest joke in the entire 400+ comic run featuring Leonidas, even if the exact same joke didn't make the translation overseas, however they tried. You can see a brief breakdown of that in THIS post.

Not content to restrict it to art and comics, Leonidas also dropped this line that is permanently engraved into my mind with just how shocking it was to see anything of this caliber in Dragalia, in his baby brother's story to boot!

At this point, I could no longer deny it: the devs and artists had collectively acquired a new fixation to satiate their once insatiable Cleo appetite in the form of Mr. Currymeister. (Don't worry about Emile there, he's just drowning, he does that all the time in waist-high water)

And this attitude even extends to in-universe, too! People increasingly fawned over the first prince, who very much was filling in the role of 'this prince you know vs. his hotter and more competent elder brother', as virtually represented by my expert skills in Microsoft Paint artistry as such:

Naturally, there was only so much time before the people IRL could succumb to Leonidas Fever (and no, this time we're not talking about all the people who were so devoted to this dude to effectively set themselves into a fatal, firey, steroid-filled death!) at this unrelenting onslaught.

It was hard not to see comments such as these that started pouring in (and yes, all of these were just about Leonidas exclusively):

(I'll attribute the misspelling to being overcome with Leonidas Fever, a grave illness indeed!)

(Another serious symptom: the decline of any self-preservation instinct around Leonidas, who is indeed Very Dangerous and Will Kill You!)

Ahem. You get the picture. Thus concludes the slow, insidious buildup from just another sibling for Euden to probably commit a whoopsie-daisy fratricide in the future to one of the fandom's favorite menaces, all carefully plotted-out by the collective efforts of devs who were the first to succumb to the sickness...Right?

This concludes my professional historical report on this very serious issue that I suspect lingers to this day. The Fever has but been put into remission; it has not faded yet.

Extra:

So a long time ago I commented that some of the royal family seemed to have pointier teeth than normal, which I speculated because they deliberated giving a bit more 'draconic' traits to define dragonblood, and I didn't realize how pervasive this was until I saw Emile's model there. Look at his fang!

...

...How did I forget the weapon skin of Leo's gun is additionally named "Royal Dominator"?

[bleachbleachbleach]

Back on my Wheels Bullshit Again

Some thoughts about why Menos are probably not a good replacement candidate for whale oil; and why the Seireitei should have an extremely racist (ghost-ist?) World's Fair

Yesterday I drove 500+ miles to see someone perform, among other things, as a seagull in a James and the Giant Peach musical. EXCELLENT, would recommend, but this also meant I had a good amount of time on the road to think about some absolute bullshit. As a result of the Great Summer Conspiracy (road construction, hours and hours), I'm also feeling dehydrated and mentally addled, so this will be word vomit I may come back to more seriously, or maybe not! Who knows!

But I was thinking about the Soul Society wheels situation. Wheels exist, if not in great numbers (filler wheels in deep Rukongai; Mayuri's Hueco Mundo caravan; the casters on the Zombie Pods, the wheels on Yachiru's sheathe). But if they wanted more wheels (transportation wheels, but any other kind of wheels or spinning thing--like, in a computer or other mechanized object), what would they use for lubricant? Is there oil they can drill for? Is the ocean close and fecund enough to have whale oil (or I guess... some other oily fish, in abundance)? There doesn't seem to be a lot of domestic animal husbandry to be using them for tallow/lard in addition to occasional food. Does the 12th have a lubricants division, and if so, what kinds of things do they develop, and what raw materials are available? I guess they probably do, but the fact remains they have way fewer wheels and spinny things than we do.

I feel like Menos would not be a good substitute for whale oil, because, despite having made a joke about Menos leather jackets once, I don't think they use Hollows like that, due to the stigma (and/or concerns over spiritual contamination). And also because it may not be that....stable? Like, it seems equally likely that a Menos body might stick around to be harvested, or would just poof into reishi motes. Maybe there's some finesse to whichever of these happens, but the whole otherworldly spirit flesh thing introduces some complications here, is what I'm saying.

Which made me think about the fact of most of the population of Soul Society not needing to eat, and the need for food production not acting as a driver for agricultural/industrial change, because the eating population is pretty small. So who needs wheels, or agriculture at scale, or orphan chimney sweeps? As long as you have enough criminals to mine for seki-sekki, you're gucci!

In terms of things shinigami would have spent time on instead, we have kidou/kaidou and killing Hollows (see above). That got interesting to me just because there does seem to be a kind of dichotomy between what we'll call military technologies and "other stuff." Like, there seem to be spiritual/ritual reasons that zanpakutou powers tend to be used only in battle/warfare applications (excepting some omake/omake-like instances). Kidou might be a little looser, but only slightly--in the sense that it seems like it's probably involved in some of their electrical/technological stuff--the worm TV, Rin's Noo-Noo thing (linked because I realize that my ~natural Teletubbies patois might not be shared, LOL). But they haven't gone, like, fully Harry Potter with what they think kidou/magic should be user for. So there's also not necessarily that same driver where military/non-military technologies are a lot more incestuous for us than they seem to be for them.

And that's all without thinking about the timescale at which they're operating, re: aging. Or the fact that thinking about shinigami specifically, they don't really have trading partners or other societies to swap ideas with (that we know of), aside from cribbing off the Living World--which certainly has made its mark on the palimpsestic cultural/technological life of Soul Society, though it's not all just stolen from the Living World, being that Sasakibe's been rocking rapiers since time immemorial, and Shinji's TBTP speaker setup, etc.

I feel like if the Seireitei were interested enough in ethnographic studies of Rukongai, there'd be some extremely interesting stuff out there. Like, sure, from what we've seen it's fairly resource-poor, and the somewhat high turnover rate from people getting eaten by monsters could go either way in terms of whether that's uhhhh helpful in driving cultural change. But there's a lot of souls out there with a lot of fragments of all kinds of weirdo memory, maybe, and a lot of different groups of people thinking about things largely independently of one another--but with some opportunity for cultural cross-pollination still. And we know they've got the hottest wheels AND the snake wine out there. I feel like there's all kinds of cool regional stuff going down out there, and it's just shinigami who are like

"Ah yes, the cultureless, primitive, flatlands of Rukongai"

"Actually, out in East 56 we have a rich history of--"

"woe are the half-lives of the ghostly"

"we have 42 lunar calendar systems and 35 linguistic sub-families--"

"nary a dinglehopper with which to entertain themselves as they await death"

[seven-thewanderer]

Okay I'm up, feelin good, so now it's time for a second sectuin of art-dumping:

Forkface.

It is just mainly Forky, but hear me out:

While I was gone, I began thinking: What if I made a VR Model of Forky (my design)? (I have no 3dmodel-making experience mind you XD)

So I began scheming!!

Firstly, I made these reference sheets for Forky!!

(Also Forky's colors for each different form) (I'll add IDs for each)

I imagined for this model for Forky that they'd also have a few accessories/abilities:

Firstly, their face plate does open, and they do have an option for a nightcap ...I still haven't gotten a design idea for those, however... (also I did imagine for the hat a bit though, if they wear it with the rays, 7 of the rays - 3 big, 4 small - would go down for the hat to fit mostly, instead of stabbing through the hat. It'd also have a poofy end, not a bell)

Secondly, Forky would have an option to pull out a clown horn!! Yes I did get this idea from them playing Lethal Company

(I know I shared the image here already, but I'll share it again just to show what I mean again:)

I also decided they'd have:

A sign (and markers)!! This was also based on them playing Lethal Company

But ye they can write down on a sign what they want to say!!

(since I originally drew it based on a Lethal Company Moment, here's those drawings:)

(I did also make a third sign one for them, but more as a joke, rather than a reference: Smug)

(yes this one is a blank one that can be filled in, I did like... 10 examples, I just kinda don't feel like posting them all) (some examples though were one that just said "*Breathing Noises*", one that said "Balls.", and another that was just a drawing of among us)

If this did exist in VrChat (which I don't even know if a model w/ a whiteboard would work in actuality), they'd probably be able to change the color of the marker they use. The whiteboard could also be dropped & picked up by others

Finally (I think finally?), I may or may not have imagined them to have another form based on this video (which I kept watching too much cus I found it both cool and hilarious):

They have a nightmare/dream form

(honestly I forgot the stars on the pants cus I didn't feel like coloring it so I did quickly color & forgot the pant stars)

But yeah this form of Forkface only would appear in people's dreams/nightmares (lore-wise), but as a model would just be another form they can swap to. (they can also still change color palettes in this form, but I didn't color that in) (I also may or may not have imagined for the dream form I made that Forky can actually breath a faint lavender-colored gas to cause someone to dream or to have a nightmare... like Catnap...)

I believe that's it, I don't know, but that was basically all I imagined for if my Forky design had a Vrchat Model

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 20: THE COUNCIL GETS CLOVEN

Nico read the new chapter title with a faint smile. It was a silly descriptor, as these usually were, for a serious topic about a whole concept, a whole way of life for the satyrs up to this point being disbanded.

"Sounds like a kick-ass time," Alex laughed in delight.

A lot of things had changed about camp that day, and a not so small part of Nico regretted not staying. Working out how to keep Percy alive in the coming war with him instead of for him while the other kids adjusted to all this.

The larger, more pessimistic part of him was still more convinced it wouldn't work out. That the death kid wouldn't be allowed in anybody's cabin after what had just happened.

He'd probably have been kept with the other prisoners. Surely not every enemy had been defeated, though what Chiron would have done with them he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Taking away their dessert privilege or putting them in timeout didn't seem the appropriate response here...the best outcome had probably been offering abdication of Luke to stay or escorting them back out of Camp on the bus to...?

How many unclaimed children had died over the course of this battle? How many had the gods even noticed, let alone cared of both sides? He didn't agree with Luke's methods, but he'd have liked to have ever met him in moments like this. Luke wasn't around to care anymore, but whose to say he even would have been more kind to the returning, losing forces than Kronos would be.

Nico had been sitting around to long chewing on his thoughts, as if he could change the past no matter the outcome. He even knew what he was really arguing with himself about too, as Will's arm stayed around his shoulders now and his hand rested in place on his arm. This camp was Will's home, and while Nico had a cabin there it still never felt like someplace he could stay.

But there was a soft throat clearing, and this was a question he could still avoid for a time longer as he tried what he hadn't in the past and kept moving forward rather than sitting around in his past.

There had been no jokes, no snide comments while he'd collected himself. Nico's hesitance, Will's drawn penance, and Percy's tightly controlled anger made an obvious display of how this was going to go before it even started, which was of some comfort to Nico it wasn't entirely his fault for once.

There were too many good-byes.

That night was the first time I actually saw camp burial shrouds used on bodies, and it was not something I wanted to see again.

Will's hand was already starting to shake slightly. Nico didn't want to ask how many times he had seen it before, how many of those deaths were accidental and how many were monsters. Not because he could have asked the ghosts themselves at camp if they so lingered, but because if Will wanted him to know he'd volunteer it. He had yet been the kind of person to hide a single thing.

Among the dead, Lee Fletcher from the Apollo cabin had been downed by a giant's club. He was wrapped in a golden shroud without any decoration.

Will didn't really think anybody would want to hear his war stories, his graphic memories, his gruesome details added into this. They dealt with the worst of their life every day hearing through Percy's memory, it hadn't really crossed his mind before now anybody would even ask.

And yet Thalia turned to him, her eyes vivid with worry as she asked, "do you need a minute?"

"No," Will promised calmly. "I've had time since then to adjust."

There must have been something in his voice though. A longing, a weighted cadence that meant it really was still going to get worse.

"You guys probably don't want to hear this," he tried to caution anyways when the silence lingered and he hadn't meant it to.

"Lee would probably want us to," Percy frowned. He hadn't known him that well. This war had long since been in progress before he showed up whether he'd lived to see this day or not. A part of him still felt responsible for every shroud that day, every person he'd known for years and still only knew where they slept and nothing more.

There was a kind of relief to Will's voice, how he didn't get the chance enough to talk about his brothers he hadn't known long enough. "I'd been tending to a boy, with Katie, we were trying to see if his leg needed to be amputated or we should try some nectar when I heard Lee, he was shouting at us to move," Will's eyes were far away.

This obviously was not the first time he'd told this story. To his own siblings later. To Chiron. To any curious new siblings of his who wondered about past campers. "I looked up and there was a, a sword, sticking out of his gut, cut right through his armor like nothing...He fell, and a Dracanea just slithered right over him towards us. I jumped up, ran towards him, but then Clarisse and one of her brothers tackled me to the ground and got rid of them. She didn't even have a weapon she just...it was really unbelivable unless you were there, but it took, time. He was, gone, by the time I," his blood soaked hands clenched over nothing now.

Some part of him had hated her for saving his life that day for far to long. He'd said some truly loathsome things to her before going off to the Battle of Manhattan he'd soon regretted. "We cried. Then we, we talked, and sang, and laughed a little more until we cried again."

Nico moved without thinking, reaching up his hand to Will's where it rested on his shoulder and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. Just the tips, just enough slight pressure he'd feel it but could easily pull away.

Will smiled at him like it was the kindest thing in the world he could have done. The exhaustion in his eyes was vivid, like he could have rested his head right there on Nico's shoulder and passed out without a second thought, but his smile was still as bright as ever.

"He loved this um, this weird green alien, god I can't believe I forgot his name! From those Bugs Bunny cartoons, he always swore he was going to get a tattoo of him-"

"Marvin the Martin?" Nico asked.

"That was it!"

Will looked deliriously surprised Nico knew such a thing. Causing him to blush and needlessly explain, "I, um, vaguely remember reading old comics. Bugs Bunny went on the first rocket to the moon," he still said it with a bit of awe in his voice like that was as strange a concept as a talking rabbit would still be to them.

"The greatest cartoons alive in my humble opinion, we'd steal the TV and watch them all the time, everybody in our cabin has a favorite. H-had." Will was nodding along and looked seconds away from sharing every individual detail of those days. The peanut butter snacks, yelling at whoever decided to do chores and vacuum or clean right in front of the TV and practicing their accuracy, who could beat up whose character often ending up in wrestling matches. Memories that suddenly made him feel old, as long as it had been since any of that happened.

Nico would have loved to sit and hear of nothing more, but Will wasn't the only one who had losses that day. Percy's deeply troubled expression about all those campers' funerals he'd attended, the ones that wouldn't miraculously show up at like he had his own, still needed to be heard.

The son of Dionysus who'd gone down fighting an enemy half-blood was wrapped in a deep purple shroud embroidered with grapevines. His name was Castor. I was ashamed that I'd seen him around camp for three years and never even bothered to learn his name. He'd been seventeen years old.

"That's not your fault-"

Percy was already shaking his head, giving a sad, but grateful smile to Thalia. "Yeah, I know. I don't go around thinking everything needs a fault." He wasn't going to be like Zeus and decide someone should be blamed and punished for this...even if the main man himself and several others came to mind who really should be.

It had just felt, bad.

His twin brother, Pollux, tried to say a few words, but he choked up and just took the torch.

Castor and Pollux had never been the most popular kids at camp, Will alone could reflect. While nobody outright hated them, they were to quiet and laid back for any real malice, quite a few kids resented them for their dad being a miserable git. Half the time they sat out of capture the flag, most often they were seen sneaking into the kitchens or throwing bread at the harpies.

Now that there was only one son of Dionysus, everybody knew Pollux. There had been a distinct, suspicious smell of fermented strawberries coming from an old shed he'd sneak off to until his dad had made it vanish. It hadn't solved all of his problems. Will had since seen him befriending every satyr there, he could tell you five generations back of all of them better than anyone.

The horrible prospects of going from an unknown kid most didn't think twice of to being one of the most well-known because you were the last one standing was a nightmare Will could barely wrap his head around.

 He lit the funeral pyre in the middle of the amphitheater, and within seconds the row of shrouds was engulfed in fire, sending smoke and sparks up to the stars.

Nobody had mentioned if Dinoysus had been in attendance, and Jason sat frowning if he wanted to know. The god of wine sat in a unique position among his brethren in that he was forced to be there, had no excuses of why he wouldn't have been, but that didn't change the fact that he was a god. That his 'excuse' if one would call it that was in his nature of being able to have a dozen more kids when he could leave same as the others. This judging sense of mortality he often saw the others giving the gods for not acting like them was the opposite of what a god was...so whether the boys father had been there for not would give him a splitting headache and he didn't ask.

We spent the next day treating the wounded, which was almost everybody.

"Some were better patients than others I'm sure," Will grumbled with a side-eyed look at Nico. Admittedly he'd been busy up to his hair, but he didn't once recall seeing Nico in there, let alone anyone mentioning the odd death kid might need some special attention for having passed out for a chunk of the battle!

Nico looked over so innocently, even giving a charming smile like he had no clue why Will was giving him a withering glare. Will just narrowed his eyes further, he knew Nico knew what he was thinking. Yet Nico did not plan on sharing the fact he'd simply eaten enough to get by and slept in trees, his only spare thought being ahead and the occasional relief no dryad ever popped out to yell at him until he could find a convenient moment to vanish again. Will never seemed to like how hard life had been on him, and pointing out he wouldn't have been welcomed in there never seemed to do any good.

The satyrs and dryads worked to repair the damage to the woods.

"I bet that floating apple trick really came in handy when they had to move whole trees with roots out to be replanted," Magnus shivered at the idea of such loss and hurt in that earth.

"Grover's Hilary Duff song was probably played nonstop and everyone cheered," Alex grinned. "Now if only he'd play a good rainmaking song to mix it up."

"And cause national flooding. I think the beavers would revolt," Percy chuckled.

At noon, the Council of Cloven Elders held an emergency meeting in their sacred grove. The three senior satyrs were there, along with Chiron, who was in wheelchair form. His broken horse leg was still mending, so he would be confined to the chair for a few months, until the leg was strong enough to take his weight. The grove was filled with satyrs and dryads and naiads up from the water—hundreds of them, anxious to hear what would happen.

Juniper, Annabeth, and I stood by Grover's side.

"Where was Tyson?" Jason asked in surprise, with the confidence of knowing one who would have been there if not for some grievous accident.

"He scared them to much, Annabeth and I had to lie and convince him to stay back and help the Camp with repairs because he intimated those stupid old goats," Percy sighed.

Silenus wanted to exile Grover immediately, but Chiron persuaded him to at least hear evidence first, so we told everyone what had happened in the crystal cavern, and what Pan had said. Then several eyewitnesses from the battle described the weird sound Grover had made, which drove the Titan's army back underground.

"It was panic," insisted Juniper. "Grover summoned the power of the wild god."

"Panic?" I asked.

"Aren't pain and panic Hades's thing?" Magnus asked with full knowledge he was probably talking out of his ass, only remembering vague details from old cartoons.

"The gods domains often overlap with each other," Nico shrugged. "Like Athena being the goddess of battle strategies but Ares getting the whole dominion. Animals are known for panicking, it's like their thing right? Fight or flight when confronted with something new. It occurs a lot in humans death too, hence why it can be associated with him, though his name is Phobos and he's actually a child of Ares."

As was usual with these explanations, Magnus didn't seem to grasp any of this much better. He just nodded meekly and hoped this kept going before he had to think of this much longer.

"Percy," Chiron explained,

"Why you got to say it like that?" Percy sighed, not really offended, but feeling a little grain of annoyance all the same. "I can't be the only person there who had no clue what Grover just did."

"You're just special like that Perce," Thalia said, even ruffling up his hair, a rather dangerous thing to do, Alex grinned in admiration, when Percy scowled at her and could have taken her hand off without even drawing his sword down here. He could have just wielded the water like an extension of himself and done it without a thought. He just wouldn't.

"during the first war of the gods and the Titans, Lord Pan let forth a horrible cry that scared away the enemy armies. It is—it was his greatest power—a massive wave of fear that helped the gods win the day. The word panic is named after Pan, you see. And Grover used that power, calling it forth from within himself."

"Which came first?" Jason was more than happy not to let this go as he grinned in surprise. "Phobos or Pan? Did Ares name one of his kids after a nature god? Because if so, he got a little more interesting just now."

"I wouldn't hold your breath," Percy rolled his eyes.

"We weren't exactly there to confirm, but it is pretty funny either way," Thalia snickered in agreement.

"Preposterous!" Silenus bellowed. "Sacrilege! Perhaps the wild god favored us with a blessing. Or perhaps Grover's music was so awful it scared the enemy away!"

"That wasn't it, sir," Grover said. He sounded a lot calmer than I would have if I'd been insulted like that. "He let his spirit pass into all of us. We must act. Each of us must work to renew the wild, to protect what's left of it. We must spread the word. Pan is dead. There is no one but us."

"After two thousand years of searching, this is what you would have us believe?" Silenus cried. "Never! We must continue the search! Exile the traitor!"

A distastefully hateful feeling tugged tight in Magnus's stomach at hearing that. He'd never been religious, had a quite low opinion of most random people from living on the streets, and this statement put so blatantly pretty well summed up why. Those in power always wanted somebody else to come around and clean up their mess.

And yet, a part of him envied their blind faith. To believe wholeheartedly that there was someone out there who cared about them and could think of to not feel alone. He didn't share that feeling in the slightest, but some days he wished he did.

Some of the older satyrs muttered assent.

"A vote!" Silenus demanded. "Who would believe this ridiculous young satyr, anyway?"

"I would," said a familiar voice.

Everyone turned. Striding into the grove was Dionysus.

"Nico said what?" Percy yelped, mock cleaning out his ears to make sure.

"You were there," Thalia frowned at him.

"Yeah, and I didn't quite believe my eyes either," Percy's frown only continued.

He wore a formal black suit, so I almost didn't recognize him, a deep purple tie and violet dress shirt, his curly dark hair carefully combed. His eyes were bloodshot as usual, and his pudgy face was flushed, but he looked like he was suffering from grief more than wine-withdrawal.

Will had been in attendance of this. He'd had to get out of his cabin and get some air while they were packing up Lee's things to put in the attic. Seeing Mr. D show up like that had been enough of a shock to his system that going back to that empty bunk had almost, almost, been less of a hurt and more of a dull ache on his brain on how everything changes.

The satyrs all stood respectfully and bowed as he approached. Dionysus waved his hand, and a new chair grew out of the ground next to Silenus's—a throne made of grapevines.

Dionysus sat down and crossed his legs. He snapped his fingers and a satyr hurried forward with a plate of cheese and crackers and a Diet Coke.

The god of wine looked around at the assembled crowd. "Miss me?"

"Would he know if I lied?" Percy raised a brow, but it had a tinge of sadness more than mocking for once.

"I don't get the feeling he would, but you'd be the person I trust most to test that theory," Alex told him with pride.

Jason chuckled at the pair just like everybody, but he shook his head at his fleeting thought as he revised his headache. So they hadn't waited until Bacchus/ Dionysus had come back, to give him the unique qualm of whether to attend his child's pyre. He would have liked to have been a fly on the wall of the Big House when he and Chiron discussed this later though, even if he was blasted to bits for it.

The satyrs fell over themselves nodding and bowing. "Oh, yes, very much, sire!"

"Well, I did not miss this place!" Dionysus snapped. "I bear bad news, my friends. Evil news. The minor gods are changing sides. Morpheus has gone over to the enemy. Hecate, Janus, and Nemesis, as well. Zeus knows how many more."

The fact that Dionysus not only knew about Janus, but also conferred his whereabouts and loyalties wasn't much of a blip on them nowadays after their mostly unspoken company of the past few days.

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Strike that," Dionysus said. "Even Zeus doesn't know.

Even while living the outcome of that war, Thalia still squirmed with a bit of distress of this along with everyone else. It truly had felt back then like everything was against them when Artemis had reported much similar dissatisfying news. If things hadn't gone exactly the way they had, if Percy hadn't chosen himself to be the Prophecy child, it most certainly would have all had a very different ending.

Now, I want to hear Grover's story. Again, from the top."

"But, my lord," Silenus protested. "It's just nonsense!"

"I cannot believe such a spineless creature said that to this god," Alex said with begrudging admiration.

"He's got a lot of guts, remember," Magnus snorted.

Dionysus's eyes flared with purple fire. "I have just learned that my son Castor is dead, Silenus.

Nico's voice was so gentle as he read that. A lot of things that happened in Percy's life were absurd and could be played off for laughs even while the worst was happening. This wasn't even close to one of those times.

I am not in a good mood. You would do well to humor me."

Silenus gulped, and waved at Grover to start again.

When Grover was done, Mr. D nodded. "It sounds like just the sort of thing Pan would do. Grover is right. The search is tiresome. You must start thinking for yourselves." He turned to a satyr. "Bring me some peeled grapes, right away!"

"Yes, sire!" The satyr scampered off.

"About how to sum up these Greek guys," Jason muttered. They seemed a lot more, spirited, than his impression of them kept telling him they should be. And a lot more volatile to boot.

"We must exile the traitor!" Silenus insisted.

"I say no," Dionysus countered. "That is my vote."

"I vote no as well," Chiron put in.

Silenus set his jaw stubbornly. "All in favor of the exile?"

He and the two other old satyrs raised their hands.

"How brave, and or stupid, is it to vote against a god?" Will asked. He'd been personally surprised they hadn't been smited.

"Probably a minor annoyance that causes hurricanes if a god votes against a god," Percy offered from personal experience. He'd seen a lot of side eyeing going on in that throne room.

"Depends on the god otherwise," Thalia murmured gently. She was a bit surprised as well Dionysus didn't turn him into a bag of grain, but as bad a mood as he was in, it was grief, not anger. Even he seemed to have decided there had been enough violence for one day to go through with it.

"Three to two," Silenus said.

"Ah, yes," Dionysus said. "But unfortunately for you, a god's vote counts twice. And as I voted against, we are tied."

Silenus stood, indignant. "This is an outrage! The council cannot stand at an impasse."

"Then let it be dissolved!" Mr. D said. "I don't care."

Silenus bowed stiffly, along with his two friends, and they left the grove.

"What a hill to die on," Alex said. They were a bunch of idiots hanging onto a ledge by their hooves, but goats were the best at that and likely would not get down until they decided to. It was a stubborn trait she could understand, even if that meant she didn't have to like it in this case.

"They need leadership," Jason said gently, but with clear concern. "Those old billy-wigs might have been stubborn and too resistant, but the rest of the satyr's are going to need someone else now for guidance, something everybody could use."

"I have a feeling they'll find it easily enough," Percy said with a surprisingly confident smile.

About twenty satyrs went with them. The rest stood around murmuring uncomfortably.

"Don't worry," Grover told them. "We don't need the council to tell us what to do. We can figure it out ourselves."

He told them again the words of Pan—how they must save the wild a little at a time. He started dividing the satyrs into groups—which ones would go to the national parks, which ones would search out the last wild places, which ones would defend the parks in the big cities.

"Well," Annabeth said to me, "Grover seems to be growing up."

"He had to finish puberty eventually, it was about time!" Alex said with lamented pain for him.

"I figured that back when he basically got married and divorced in one day," but Percy's old joke only held light laughter in here.

Will had stood on the edge of that clearing smiling for the first time all day to have seen it. Percy and Annabeth talking and smiling, the satyrs planning for their future with absolute resilience in the face of everything that had gone wrong. It had been a calming feeling, the kindling of hope as Mr. D vanished with a hint of grape. He liked to think it was off to find Pollux, but most likely it was back to the Big House. The fact that he hadn't stuck around, but in fact Chiron had wheeled himself off alone had said enough of what company was wanted.

Later that afternoon I found Tyson at the beach, talking to Briares. Briares was building a sand castle with about fifty of his hands. He wasn't really paying attention to it, but his hands had constructed a three-story compound with fortified walls, a moat, and a drawbridge.

"Has anybody ever tried to build a life sized model of a sand castle to live in?" Alex asked with immediate interest. "Is that what Poseidon was going to offer Sally? Because I think we could get Briares on this stat!"

"I think that's to much power for one person to wield, they'd rule the world from that spot," Percy said with the tone of regret of one who had already considered this idea and been forced to dismiss it.

Tyson was drawing a map in the sand.

"Go left at the reef," he told Briares. "Straight down when you see the sunken ship. Then about one mile east, past the mermaid graveyard, you will start to see fires burning."

"No diss on Tyson, but that sounds like the worst scavenger hunt of my life," Magnus shivered. All three of those landmarks should be avoided by anyone with a grain of intelligence, let alone what was waiting at the end!

"You clearly haven't spent enough time listening to my life then," Percy scoffed. "All of that sounds like the best dream come true!"

"To be fair, I think we could drop Percy into anywhere in the ocean and he'd just think it was the coolest thing. Not entirely the same," Thalia was on Magnus's side, she sure hoped she'd never have to be on the look out for a graveyard full of mermaids.

"You're giving him directions to the forges?" I asked.

Alex applauded Percy figuring that out so quickly and Percy showed her the bird.

Tyson nodded. "Briares wants to help. He will teach Cyclopes ways we have forgotten, how to make better weapons and armor."

"I want to see Cyclopes," Briares agreed. "I don't want to be lonely anymore."

"I doubt you'll be lonely down there," I said a little wistfully, because I'd never even been in Poseidon's kingdom.

They hadn't needed Nico to read that out loud to get the idea, it was in plain view now as he glanced at the decimated space. Somehow, even being trapped down here, he felt purposely barred from his father's realm and shoved off into the closet or something.

"They're going to keep you really busy."

Briares's face morphed to a happy expression. "Busy sounds good! I only wish Tyson could go, too."

Tyson blushed. "I need to stay here with my brother.

Percy cheered considerably along with the others though upon confirming the news Tyson was sticking around for a while longer. There was just something about him that made the feeling keep going they could get through another miserable page of this if there was Percy's little brother at the end waiting to hug them all at once.

You will do fine, Briares. Thank you."

The Hundred-Handed One shook my hand about a hundred times. "We will meet again, Percy. I know it!"

Then he gave Tyson a big octopus hug and waded out into the ocean.

"I've seen Aliens are Real blogs by citing octopi as the source," Alex said in her usual out of nowhere style. "Their blood is blue, they're weirdly super smart. I have this feeling they accidentally saw pictures of this guy and just went wild with it."

"It would not be the strangest theory that has some kind of confirmation," Nico nodded.

We watched until his enormous head disappeared under the waves.

I clapped Tyson on the back. "You helped him a lot."

"I only talked to him."

"You believed in him. Without Briares, we never would've taken down Kampê."

Tyson grinned. "He throws good rocks!"

"I have found the secret weapon to become Tyson's favorite person," Jason grinned, rubbing his hands together in a diabolical gesture.

"Bet I'll still win first by giving him a peanut butter sandwich," Alex sniffed.

"Amateurs," Percy rolled his eyes at the two.

I laughed. "Yeah. He throws really good rocks. Come on, big guy. Let's have dinner."

It felt good to have a regular dinner at camp. Tyson sat with me at the Poseidon table. The sunset over Long Island Sound was beautiful. Things weren't back to normal by a long shot, but when I went up to the brazier and scraped part of my meal into the flames as an offering to Poseidon, I felt like I really did have a lot to be grateful for.

Will struggled for a moment to swallow at that. He hadn't given an offering that night, something he could count on one hand. He hadn't resented his dad so much as not appearing during the actual battle, but afterwords while pushing food around on his plate, it had been more of a lingering feeling of loneliness. Surrounded by his siblings, his thoughts had been racing ahead. None of the gods had shown, it wasn't fair to just be mad at Apollo, and yet, all he'd been able to think about that night was what it would take to make him appear? If a whole cabin had been decimated, would that have finally earned a godly intervention?

My friends and I were alive. 

Will had to grit his teeth against snapping at Percy for that. He'd suffered no major losses. From his point of view, that was true, and it's not like he'd stood up at the front and tried to make them all smile about this fact.

The camp was safe. Kronos had suffered a setback, at least for a while.

The only thing that bothered me was Nico, hanging in the shadows at the edge of the pavilion. He'd been offered a place at the Hermes table, and even at the head table with Chiron, but he had refused.

Will certainly hadn't noticed that, to busy with his own misery, and he felt a fresh wave of guilt for his old ignorance. Nico didn't sound resentful or upset while reading that though. Just calm, as casual as ever, this was his normal.

Which only made Will feel worse. That shouldn't be normal to anyone! Even if Nico wanted to remain a wall flower his whole life and never chose to sit with another person, he should still sound slightly tired at having stood through a meal, maybe a little uncomfortable at not fitting in at that moment. He didn't know how to wrap his head around Nico sometimes. Will was trying his best to accept Nico's differences, but a part of him was also hoping Nico wouldn't accept them so readily himself. The Son of Hades should still want to be able to be among his peers, even in the back, just like every Greek kid.

Nico was shifting his weight around, his hands fidgeting around the spine of the book. Classic signs by now something was either bothering him or about to bother him no matter how modulated his tone was. Will squeezed his shoulder without a second thought, then left his hand hovering there, as clear an invitation as he could he would back off and give him some space. Nico made a little noise in the back of his throat, like a scoff but to gentle, and settled back into a comfortable position to keep going so Will put his arm back across his shoulders as gently as ever.

After dinner, the campers headed toward the amphitheater, where Apollo's cabin promised an awesome sing-along to pick up our spirits, but Nico turned and disappeared into the woods. I decided I'd better follow him.

Percy knew he wasn't the best friend Nico could have. He'd failed him one to many times already and was kind of creeped out by him and had kept making really stupid mistakes with no idea how to fix them.

And yet he still leaned forward in his seat. He still wanted to help with no clue how. He'd been that kid in every other group of peers except this one place and he wished he knew how to make this better as Nico paused and cleared his throat and didn't look up at Percy before continuing. Percy had probably disappointed him again, or made him angry and he wasn't acting on it or something else. Percy wished he could say something to make it right, he just couldn't think what.

As I passed under the shadows of the trees, I realized how dark it was getting. I'd never been scared in the forest before, though I knew there were plenty of monsters. Still, I thought about yesterday's battle, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to walk in those woods again without remembering the horror of so much fighting.

I couldn't see Nico, but after a few minutes of walking I saw a glow up ahead. At first I thought Nico had lit a torch. As I got closer, I realized the glow was a ghost. The shimmering form of Bianca di Angelo stood in the clearing, smiling at her brother. She said something to him and touched his face—or tried to. Then her image faded.

She'd said she was proud of him, a moment Nico intended to take to his grave. Since he'd finally stopped pestering her to appear she'd made one last chance to come see him herself and promised he was now on the right path, and she was proud of him.

He wondered if she still would be, knowing he'd been slipping backwards and looking for her again. If she knew he was now thinking about going into Tartarus alone. If she'd wanted him to stay at Camp but couldn't hold onto her ghostly form long enough to share more than a few words with him. None of it ever felt like enough.

Nico turned and saw me, but he didn't look mad.

"Saying good-bye," he said hoarsely.

 Nico deserved that so much, for not getting something so precious and often rare enough in the mundane world. Not even the first time when her ghost had appeared to him on that ranch with only advice and a warning.

Nico should have been able to say everything he wanted to her before she departed again, but there was something in his haunted face that not a one of them could speak to when they'd all suffered their own loss. There was just something about the hitch in Nico's voice that promised this was still an ongoing problem for him he wanted nobody's input on.

"We missed you at dinner," I said. "You could've sat with me."

"No."

"What an interesting dynamic you two have," Thalia said with a faint smile. "You'll kill for each other but can't stand to share a meal."

Percy nodded like this made absolute sense while Nico looked at her with a strange, almost offended expression because he couldn't deny it but didn't exactly want it to be true.

"Nico, you can't miss every meal.

"Not for lack of trying," Will muttered under his breath. Nico gracefully ignored that.

If you don't want to stay with Hermes, maybe they can make an exception and put you in the Big House. They've got plenty of rooms."

"I'm not staying, Percy."

Percy had somehow known this the moment he'd seen him standing off in those shadows. He didn't even know where he'd been all day or what he was doing after the battle. That was kind of the problem. He couldn't begin to guess where Nico could fit in there. He just wanted to try and make it work.

"But...you can't just leave. It's too dangerous out there for a lone halfblood. You need to train."

"I train with the dead," he said flatly. "This camp isn't for me. There's a reason they didn't put a cabin to Hades here, Percy. He's not welcome, any more than he is on Olympus. I don't belong. I have to go."

"You haven't always felt welcomed there either Percy," Alex said. 

He winced at how true that was and couldn't argue, but she pressed in anyways.

She sounded just as Nico did, and nobody found it hard to believe she skirted the world of what everybody thought normal was. "You should trust him when he says that and find some other way, not yours."

Percy didn't like that answer any better than Nico's. The problem ran deeper than just where he slept though. It started with the gods, what Nico said was true. The kids would never fully accept him, they followed their parent's will, and in a way it's why there were still Campers left who hadn't all defected to Luke. Nico, as always, was left somewhere in the middle.

I wanted to argue, but part of me knew he was right. I didn't like it, but Nico would have to find his own, dark way.

Percy had spent so long looking for this kid, it still felt like a failure to admit this. He didn't have a problem with Nico being gay, with him finding more comfort with the dead than the living, for his strange nerdy tendencies. He just struggled to grasp it all at once, that Nico Di Angelo was truly someone he seemed to have nothing in common with and didn't know how to help in the slightest.

He had Will and Alex now though, Percy tried to relax into his seat with a smile. At least Percy didn't have to try and look out for this kid on his own anymore.

 I remembered in Pan's cave, how the wild god had addressed each one of us individually...except Nico.

Will startled like a long tailed cat in a rocking chair factory. His eyes darted to Nico's, who were suddenly averted and studying his ring deeply. Had that been what Nico was so afraid of him hearing?

"Hope you're not to upset Nico," Will offered giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze again, "we all want the gods to single us out, and then they do, and well," he used his other hand to wave at Percy to emphasize his point.

"I'm tired of being the exception," Nico murmured, watching Will for a reaction he couldn't guess. "I don't want to just be the death kid."

"Pan will be sorry he's missing that," Will grinned, "but death is a part of nature. He connected with you the only way he knew how, just like the others." He'd spoken to Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson about the future and the prophecy, familiar and vague enough territory for any god. He'd spoken to Rachel of her rich dad that had no care of the environment, which she'd clearly hated as much as Nico had.

Will was right, Nico nodded to himself in answer. The gods rarely left their domain or bothered with much outside it, and he wasn't going to stick to one bubble even if they couldn't grasp that.

Nico was the one reading, so it's not like it was subtle they were over here having their own whispered conversation. Nobody was sure what it was about, but as Nico kept reading with a slight smile that made a rare dimple appear, and Will left his arm in place on his shoulders, it wasn't exactly a huge mystery either.

"When will you go?" I asked.

"Right away. I've got tons of questions. Like who was my mother? Who paid for Bianca and me to go to school? Who was that lawyer guy who got us out of the Lotus Hotel? I know nothing about my past. I need to find out."

Will wished he could ask how that worked out for him, but there were more reasons why he shouldn't. If Nico would tell him if he wanted, if Percy somehow helped Nico sometime over the course of their battle as he was apt to do, if it was private and perhaps he'd like to keep it that way. He'd like to know though, or offer to help if it was even hinted he could.

"Makes sense," I admitted. "But I hope we don't have to be enemies."

He lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry I was a brat. I should've listened to you about Bianca."

"Brat is a strong word reserved for some people," Jason said with a significant look at Percy who gave him a very obvious confused stare. "You were upset and younger back then. If you don't look back on yourself a few years ago and cringe at how awkward you were, you haven't grown enough since then." Not that he'd know anything about that, he had all of those same questions about himself and more, but he was confident enough about the sentiment.

"Thanks," Nico managed with a mild laugh. He felt like he was still wobbling between that line of looking back and moving forward with the confidence of having taken advice from Dionysus, but it was getting easier with practice.

"By the way..." I fished something out of my pocket. "Tyson found this while we were cleaning the cabin. Thought you might want it." I held out a lead figurine of Hades—the little Mythomagic statue Nico had abandoned when he fled camp last winter.

Nico hesitated. "I don't play that game anymore. It's for kids."

"It's got four thousand attack power," I coaxed.

"Five thousand," Nico corrected. "But only if your opponent attacks first."

It was the kind of info Nico felt was ingrained into his brain. He probably had dreams about Mythomagic when he couldn't remember but woke up feeling happy and confident about the day. The sort of easy topic he could strike up a conversation with anybody about.

And Percy, of all people, had just encouraged that. The same guy who still thought of him as a pesky child, had been actively convincing him that was okay to be. He liked to think that wasn't the sole reason he'd kept it all these years, it was a combination of him and Bianca he was also still working on separating, but it had been the nicest feeling he'd had in a long while. Months probably. It was a memory, for once, he found himself happy looking back on.

I smiled. "Maybe it's okay to still be a kid once in a while." I tossed him the statue.

Nico studied it in his palm for a few seconds, then slipped it into his pocket. "Thanks."

I put out my hand. He shook reluctantly. His hand was as cold as ice.

Will had noticed that repeatedly, that Nico ran colder than most. Yet, after they'd eaten a meal, or he got into one of his excited phases, his skin radiated warmth. There was an icy cold feeling in Will's gut Nico only got cold as a corpse when he'd been using his powers to much, when he was anxious, when he felt that internal need to push away.

He felt perfectly warm under Will's arm now.

"I've got a lot of things to investigate," he said. "Some of them...Well, if I learn anything useful, I'll let you know."

Percy wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. It sounded ominous, and his skin twitched like he felt threatened again, though his mind told his gut to shut up and this was a good parting. As good as could be expected after all that.

I wasn't sure what he meant, but I nodded. "Keep in touch, Nico."

He turned and trudged off into the woods. The shadows seemed to bend toward him as he walked, like they were reaching out for his attention.

Because he'd shadow traveled away, Nico recalled with interest. He'd spent maybe an hour in those woods, tops, before he finally managed his disastrous first attempt and ended up in China, only waking up a week later in a field of dead bamboo.

A voice right behind me said, "There goes a very troubled young man."

Nico had to pause and compose himself before he could make himself read who had said that about him. The worst person by far would be Annabeth, he would have been much happier in ignorance one of his few good memories so far hadn't been watched by her. Chiron would just feel like a blow to his face, that the protector of that camp hadn't felt the need to tell him to stay either because he really did know better. He couldn't imagine any camper there besides Will knowing enough about him to speak up, let alone bother to wait until he left to say that behind his back.

I turned and found Dionysus standing there, still in his black suit.

It was the cool wine dude god though, Nico smiled in surprise to see. Possibly the most real thing any god had said about him.

Thalia's heart gripped her tight and raced into her throat as the unprompted image of Zeus came to mind. If he'd mourned Jason's death, if he'd cared at all. The idea of Mr. D giving a rats ass about any kid in that camp dying was common knowledge among them all, so for him to still be in mourning more than twenty minutes after the news of his son's death must have been as much a shock to all them as much as her.

"Walk with me," he said.

"Where to?" I asked suspiciously.

"Never change Percy," Alex told him proudly.

"I get suspicious of a cookie that's been in one place to long, trust me, I won't," Percy nodded seriously.

"Just to the campfire," he said. "I was beginning to feel better, so I thought I would talk with you a bit. You always manage to annoy me."

"Everyone has their own natural talents?" Will tried to say like that was a good thing.

"Now we just have to decide how this ranks among his other skills, like saving the world and eating three meals in one," Thalia nodded.

Percy couldn't help but notice nobody in here had jumped to deny it.

"Uh, thanks."

We walked through the woods in silence. I noticed that Dionysus was treading on air, his polished black shoes hovering an inch off the ground. I guess he didn't want to get dirty.

Magnus clutched his coat a little tighter to him and averted his eyes to the ground. Perhaps Percy had never felt the stain in one's own feet of being somewhere you were forced into with no other choice. He wasn't sure about Dionysus, if he'd had a choice if he would be there for once, the place where his loan son was. Or if he, like the other gods, would be avoiding this place if only his punishment would allow him that grace. Like a park with grass and leaves you had no other choice but to sleep in because everywhere else had turned you away. The very concrete of suburbia under his boots had felt unwelcome some days.

"We have had many betrayals," he said. "Things are not looking good for Olympus. Yet you and Annabeth saved this camp.

A surge of affection Percy had never quite felt for Mr. D before washed over him. Not when he'd saved his and Thalia's life, not even when he got his own name right, but now. When he finally said Annabeth's name right so much later.

I'm not sure I should thank you for that."

"It was a group effort."

"The only group project in history where all participants strived to be equal," Will said with a lackluster kind of charm, because there had still been those who were let down by their best efforts.

He shrugged. "Regardless, I suppose it was mildly competent, what you two did. I thought you should know—it wasn't a total loss."

We reached the amphitheater, and Dionysus pointed toward the campfire.

Clarisse was sitting shoulder to shoulder with a big Hispanic kid who was telling her a joke. It was Chris Rodriguez, the half-blood who'd gone insane in the Labyrinth.

"Woah!" Alex yipped with the determination of stopping a horse dead in its tracks.

Nico had needed no such instructions. He was just as surprised as them. He'd really never known anything about Chris, he'd never been around camp long enough to even pick him out of a crowd before this.

"What kind of life altering quest did Clarisse go on to get him to do that?" Jason asked, squinting like the sun was in his eyes.

"Nothing at all I'm sure," Will reminded, his sad blue eyes on Thalia and Percy. Just because he didn't go around advertising it didn't mean this was the first time Mr. D had done something so kind out of the blue. Will probably would have hugged him if he didn't think he'd get turned into a grapevine for it.

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?"

"Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple."

"But...you did something nice. Why?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I am nice! I simply ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?"

"That one was barely recognizable," Magnus was trying his best not to laugh and failing.

"He once called me Walker Scobell," Will shrugged. "He gets real creative with it sometimes, we just kind of roll with it."

"Uh—"

"Perhaps I felt grieved by my son's death. Perhaps I thought this Chris boy deserved a second chance. At any rate, it seems to have improved Clarisse's mood."

"Do we have bets on how long that lasts?" Percy asked, his lips tugging up in a smile.

"Nah, we just hope it lasts," Thalia said with a grateful heart somebody out there got their happy ending even for one brief moment.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're the prophecy child and everything has to happen to you," Magnus told him in sympathy.

"Because it would just be awkward if he pulled Grover aside and told him to tell you, and he's nothing if not direct," Alex snickered.

Percy rolled his eyes at the pair, but he didn't think Dionysus was going to give him a better answer either.

The wine god sighed. "Oh, Hades if I know.

Or, no answer at all. Yeah, that seemed on par.

But remember, boy, that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword. As a mortal, I was never a great fighter or athlete or poet. I only made wine. The people in my village laughed at me. They said I would never amount to anything. Look at me now. Sometimes small things can become very large indeed."

"This guy apparently is just oozing niceness," Magnus scratched at the back of his neck with a happy smile. He was like a grumpy old man who kept scowling while feeding the homeless his would-be-throw-away food knowing he could get a ticket for it. If all the gods went out of their way to show some lackluster decency, just giving one person every day some small miracle, who knew how much better the world would be.

He left me alone to think about that. And as I watched Clarisse and Chris singing a stupid campfire song together, holding hands in the darkness, where they thought nobody could see them, I had to smile.

"Oh," Alex said with a surprised, and yet delighted tone for her. Clarisse's sudden bedside manner from before suddenly brought in a whole new light. Her stomach quivered as she all to easily pictured how Clarisse's situation would have progressed- and yet smiled with relief it was just a horrible sense of deja vu she'd lived on the streets instead of something one person had avoided.

Nico's voice held a wayward gentleness to it not usually present. He'd been passed out in countries unknown right now, alone and sucking up life from every living thing around him. If he'd asked Percy to come, he never would have said yes...right? But it would never have changed anything, of that he knew.

Now as he found himself handing the book to Will, he was absently studying Will's hand that took the book. His deep tan skin, his long fingers, his sun-withered grip always so confident and steady. He remembered his time in the Casino like a hazy dream, but he'd been so sure he held a boy's hand in there, an innocent childlike gesture of not getting lost in the crowd of Mythomagic players as they ran around laughing with their fingers intertwined. It most likely hadn't even been real. Will's palm had been hovering in his presence for days now without flinching away. It sounded like a nice feeling he might have without the Mist one day soon.

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

I really need to share this... THING I left as a YouTube comment

"[Warning - huge The Elder Scrolls cosmology rant that I SWEAR was just supposed to be a funny little joke at one point]

I kinda love the Dwemer as the Precursors trope bc, in lore, the fact that they tried to use the Heart of Lorkhan (aka Shezzar aka Shor aka maybe possibly Pelinal in his past life, the creator deity of the entire world more-or-less, depending on how you look at it) and subsequently just VANISHED is kind of insane. Like they didn't DIE, they didn't actually get TRANSPORTED anywhere, just straight up VANISHED. For real world terms it's like if the very energy that made up their bodies was just… gone. The one and only instance of energy being, for lack of a better word, destroyed. Can you imagine that? That's basically what happened to the Dwemer, and nobody really knows why - the gods didn't actually punish them, nobody really DID anything about them trying to use the Heart of Lorkhan, they just did and subsequently vanished. It's probably the greatest mystery in the whole of Mundus and how do most people react?

"Welp, the Dwemer did a silly and vanished. Who gives a shit, I'm out of Skooma / my son drinks milk / filthy n'wah keep showing up / any other random personal issue." Literally nobody, even the brainiest of brainiacs, gives half a shit. The only thing some people care about is what they can learn from Dwemer tech, and even THEN nobody's thinking about how they could use the automatons as free labor or how steam could revolutionize transportation or any of that shit, instead the only thing anyone ever cares about is typically some magic McGuffin which typically doesn't make any sense whatsoever as to why the Dwemer would even make it.

I mean, again, to reinforce this, every single living being is, to an extent, a divine spirit given form as offspring of the Ehlnofey, who in turn were the offspring of the Aedra (aka the gods), who in turn are sort of the result of Existance Itself (Anu) pondering itself, thus creating it's own Soul (Anuiel) which wished to define itself by defining its own limitations, creating Sithis, then they all fucking ponder themselves so hard they make the et'Ada, one of which was Lorkhan, and then depending on who you ask, Lorkhan either tricked the et'Ada to create the world by pondering their own deaths or by convincing them of the beauty of parenthood or similar. If we follow the "ponder own death" storyline, some of the et'Ada straight up die, others nope the fuck out when they see what's up (among them, most famously, Magnus) and the remaining ones either sacrifice themselves to stabilize the world, essentially BECOMING the physical world or concepts in the world, being now referred to as "World Bones", or refuse to give themselves fully to create the world, choosing instead to populate it with their offspring and becoming the Aedra (also before you ask the Daedra are either the et'Ada who COMPLETELY refused to give anything at all when the world was created but wanted to stick around anyway, reaping all the benefits to no cost to themselves or else are illusions dreamt up by the et'Ada who pondered their own death).

So, mortals are infinitely small fragments of the divine, the One that is Everything, so the Dwemer couldn't have just VANISHED vanished, since they SHOULD still be a part of Anu, but they are nonetheless completely fucking vanished anyway because fuck you. I'm saying they're so thoroughly GONE that NOBODY knows where the fuck they are. At least nobody up to and including the Aedra, the third fucking tier of divinity - we're probably, like, tier 20 AT BEST when we play as the Dragonborn, btw, and that's just bc we have the soul of a Dragon, thereby counting as a descendant of Akatosh, the first ever Aedra. Regular people are probably at like, tier one sjjgillion or something. And the Aedra still (assumedly) have not a clue. Literally the only more divine existences are Anuiel and Sithis in tier 2 and Anu in tier 1, being Literally The Sum Of Everything. Sithis more or less interacts with the physical world via the Dark Brotherhood, at least in the sense that his wife (where is she even from btw), the Night Mother, orders the Brotherhood to murk people for pretty much no reason than she said so and her will is the will of Sithis or whatever. Not relevant - what I mean to say with this is that, essentially, any active actor in the world CAN'T know where the Dwemer went bc then "nobody knows" would be false, so even tier 2 beings don't know. Literally only the Sum Of Everything In Existance, the fucking personification of Before The Big Bang, knows where they went, and THAT tier 1 being is, as far as we all know, purely theoretical in it's existence.

To repeat myself. LITERALLY. NOBODY. KNOWS. Where the Dwemer went. Not even Ultra God knows. Fucking God Squared doesn't know. Only Actually God But For Real This Time MAYBE knows, but we don't know that bc literally nobody can talk to it??? So. AGAIN. NOBODY KNOWS. And your common Nord is more concerned about whether you, a complete stranger, do or don't drink milk."

[dailyoyo]

Non Exhaustive list of claims me and pseud havemade about yoyo. do we even believe all of these things in our headcanons? Good quaestion

yoyo once ran a "cringe art" blog very briefly but all he put on it was his own childhood art, without specifying it was his?

yoyo has a bucket list which includes things like "convince a straight person they're actually closeted gay" and "commit perjury"

yoyo likes to follow tutorials its enriching for him

yoyo has his own pirate radio station that roboy helps him run under the moniker of "Undergraduate C". he plays nothing but meme shit and stuff that is straight up unlistenable

yoyo thinks he is a hollow shell of a person with masks upon masks where an identity should be

yoyo, if asked if he thinks people can be born evil, will answer "lol yeah, because i was!" it's hard to say if he's being ironic or not

yoyo would die if he went to the house on ash tree lane because he would do goofy tricks in the hallway and grind down the spiral staircase only to fall off and careen into the abyss

paradox!yoyo is shorter than yoyo's official canon height because it's disturbing for yoyo to only be an inch smaller than me

yoyo just gets real scared when he smokes weed. but this doesnt stop him?

yoyo is a prolific trollfic author with unreadable writings under dozens of pseudonyms for dozens of fandoms

yoyo had a brief stint as a member of poison jam under a different name and identity but he got booted out for consistently ruining movie night with his intentionally frustrating mockbuster choices

yoyo has attempted to join every single gang in tokyo-to and the ggs were his last pick

yoyo eventually picks up it/its pronouns in a mental illness kind of way

yoyo is worse at video games than pots is

yoyo would be really good at among us except everyone just automatically votes him imposter by default so he cant even play properly

yoyo regrets nothing

paradox!yoyo, if confronted with an alternate universe version of himself, would immediately tell them to kill themself

yoyo would honestly probably be a lot less fucked in the head once he's PAST THE DIRE AGE OF SIXTEEN YEARS OLD

yoyo has like one of those bootleg-ass 52-in-one fake game consoles. bastion of his childhood

yoyo often gets mistaken for being younger than he is and this is something he actively weaponizes

yoyo makes up a new backstory every time you ask where he's from

yoyo accepted at the tender age of 12 that he does not have a future and so he should just fuck around as much as possible since hes like doomed anyway

yoyo's hoodie is actually embroidered, which he did himself by hand

yoyo has a lot of really strong feelings about art in all its myriad of forms but good luck getting him to talk about it genuinely instead of saying some dumb bullshit

yoyo made a lot of jokes about himself being super suspicious and Totally Not A Rival Gang Spy Who's Gonna Betray The GGs when he joined because he thought it was funny. the only reason he was allowed to be in the gang at all despite this is because he made such a poor showing trying to prove himself to corn gum and roboy that they were internally like "if we turn him away i think he's going to straight up die out there."

[itzpris15634]

S O

Exams are coming up. Instead of studying, I wrote some silly thoughts I’ve had about my LPS humanizations. Because that’s more fun!

Disclaimer, these are just my personal perceptions of them- feel free to disagree on anything.

Oh, and. Since a couple of these mention their appearances, here’s a link to the post i made with their designs: https://www.tumblr.com/itzpris15634/735150326041247744/first-time-posting-on-this-account-here-we

Ready? Let’s go!

-First, let’s mention their sexualities. Sunil is pansexual, Zoe is bisexual, Pepper is also bisexual (with a preference for women), Penny is asexual and heteromantic, Vinnie is also bi (with a preference for men), Minka is aroace, and Russell is demisexual.

-All their colored hair is all natural. They just live in a world where human hair colors varies a whole lot more.

-Musical instruments? Ooh, yes! The ones that are most into music are Sunil, Penny, and Zoe. Zoe sings (pff, duh-) Sunil can play guitar- both electric and acoustic, but he prefers electric since it sounds cooler. Penny is learning piano. As for the others? Vinnie did drumming back in high school (he and Sunil would even play together sometimes) but he doesn’t as much now. Minka likes the smaller, portable instruments- idk how to describe it, lol. The stuff like triangles, maracas, tambourines… Meanwhile Pepper and Russell just aren’t into playing music that much, but will cheer the others on.

-Russell’s canines are a little sharper and longer than normal. The others like to joke that he’s a vampire because of it.

-Penny has a collection of stuffed animals. Her favorite is a blue-purple panda (which is literally just the actual panda Penny Ling from the show lol-)

-Minka has a fascination for bugs. Going out and observing them, collecting them, studying them- girly just finds bugs interesting.

-Contrasting with Sunil- he has a big big fear of bugs. And Pepper loves to exploit that fear. Most of the time its just playful scares involving plastic bug toys. Or pretending a bug is on his neck or something. While to her, his reactions are funny, he doesn’t think the same.

-In terms of money, Zoe is the most well off among everyone. Her parents are super rich and have spoiled her throughout life. So she does the same to her friends. She’ll just buy them extravagant, expensive gifts out of nowhere. Of course, everyone is friends with her beyond that, but it’s a neat little bonus.

-Pepper is super particular about smell. She owns several different perfumes, colognes, deodorants, sanitizers… Which one she picks depends on her mood for the day.

-Oh hey, more Pepper. When she gets nervous, she’ll sweat. A lot. Kinda adds onto the previous headcanon listing; she’ll use all this stuff to hide the odor. Sometimes she’ll go overboard though, and mix up different clashing scents together. so it becomes kinda strong and overwhelming.

-Vinnie can be super indecisive. Say for example, going to a restaurant. If he’s already been there many times before and already knows his favorite, then perfect! He’ll just go with that. But when it comes to new places… oh boy. He’ll take frickin’ forever to decide. So he’ll usually tag someone along to pick for him in cases like that (usually Sunil). He’ll probably end up liking it anyway.

-Minka wears crocs, right? And you can put lil jibbitz on crocs, right? Well, each jibbit on her crocs represents each of her friends- a banana for herself, a book for russell, a sparkly magic wand for Sunil, the same flower Pepper wears on her suspenders, a bow for Penny, a microphone for Zoe, and the same gecko foot print on Vinnie’s jacket.

Aaaaaand that’s about all I’ve got for now! Should I do more? Maybe even with more characters. Blythe? The other (humanized) pets? Do tell.

[terramythos]

TAYLOR READS 2024: MORT BY TERRY PRATCHETT

Title: Mort (Discworld) (1987)

Author: Terry Pratchett

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Comedy, Third-Person

Rating: 7/10

Date Began: 1/6/2024

Date Finished: 2/4/2024

Mort, a young man with no clear direction in life, becomes apprenticed to Death himself. While learning the so-called trade, Mort makes a mistake which threatens to rewrite the course of history.

I INVITE YOU INTO MY HOME, he said, I TRAIN YOU, I FEED YOU, I CLOTHE YOU, I GIVE YOU OPPORTUNITIES YOU COULD NOT DREAM OF, AND THUS YOU REPAY ME. YOU SEDUCE MY DAUGHTER FROM ME, YOU NEGLECT THE DUTY, YOU MAKE RIPPLES IN REALITY THAT WILL TAKE A CENTURY TO HEAL. YOUR ILL-TIMED ACTIONS HAVE DOOMED YOUR COMRADES TO OBLIVION. THE GODS WILL DEMAND NOTHING LESS. ALL IN ALL, BOY, NOT A GOOD START TO YOUR FIRST JOB.

For live reading notes, check the reblogs (contains unmarked spoilers).

Content warnings and review (spoiler-free and spoiler versions) under the cut.

Content Warnings: Mentioned -- Suicide, animal abuse. Depicted -- Death (i mean. yeah), animal death, sexual humor, suicidal ideation, fatphobia (kinda).

**SPOILER-FREE REVIEW**

Before I dive into the review, I want to acknowledge that despite several criticisms, I did enjoy reading Mort. It certainly has issues that keep me from rating it higher, but I still recommend it as a fun read despite these flaws.

A major reason for this is the prose. It's difficult to express just how clever Pratchett was as a writer. He has a unique way of presenting scenes and situations which consistently feels fresh and original. Whether it's clever wordplay or a unique spin on tired cliches, he's always catching me off guard in the best way. Saying someone's voice "could have kept milk fresh for a month" instead of "was icy" is one among hundreds of delightful examples. And while there's plenty of witticisms, they feel genuine rather than cynically scripted to appeal to as many people as possible.

Pratchett also doesn't shy away from serious topics despite the general comedic tone, and this contrast makes the grounded parts of the writing all the more poignant. His fantastic style is so omnipresent in his work that to explore it in detail would devour the rest of the review. Even when taking notes while reading I'd have to be selective on WHICH great phrases I wrote down lest I only spend time on them to the exclusion of all else.

One specific thing I like about Pratchett's writing is how specific jokes recur throughout the story but often in ways one doesn't expect. There's a running bit in Mort where characters will call him "boy" or "lad" and he tiredly corrects them with "Mort". As a reader I fully expected him to eventually get fed up and chew someone out for failing to use his name. And… he does! But later the joke is subverted again in a (spoilerific) way I DIDN’T expect, which caught me completely off guard. Setups and payoffs like that are delightful.

**SPOILER REVIEW**

My biggest struggle with Mort is that I found it difficult to care about the plot until the end. There are two things working against Mort's story that made me feel this way.

The first is the main conflict's inciting incident: Mort commits a selfish act and saves the life of a princess who was supposed to die. In doing so, Mort warps reality and the fabric of history itself. The problem is, the only reason he saves Princess Keli is because of a superficial crush on her just from seeing her for a few seconds. The two barely interact before he saves her, and when they do later, there's not any chemistry to make this decision interesting. And yes, I'm aware that this was probably intentional: Mort did something foolish and impulsive and has to deal with the consequences. The problem is that since the rest of the plot hinges on his choice to intervene, and the context around that choice is so lackluster, it brings the entire plot down. I found myself wondering why Mort bothers to keep up the ruse and lie directly to Death when his reason for doing so is so vague and uninteresting. The personal stakes just felt nonexistent to me.

The second issue is how the story is structured. Rather than closely following a standard plot progression, Mort is more like a series of vignettes and scenes loosely tied together. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself; I'd argue Guards! Guards! follows a similar style, and I'm willing to bet much of Pratchett's work does. The problem is when this lack of focus combines with a weak core conflict. Reality being split and history diverging should be compelling, yet I wondered why I should care at all. The main thing that kept me reading was the clever writing and setups in these scenes. So I found the book fun to read but the story mediocre.

To Mort's credit, the stakes get more personal and involved toward the end. I finally found the story and characters compelling when Mort started to become more like Death. It's jarring when his dialogue intermittently switches to Death's unique typeface. This is probably the only time I've had a font choice genuinely catch me off guard-- unexpected Death dialogue is surprising in other Discworld books, but here it serves a different function because it's NOT actually Death speaking. The true love interest Ysabell also gets a lot of characterization toward the end, which is a shame because she's a great character who should have had plot involvement sooner.

Speaking of characters near the end, it seems like Pratchett suddenly realized the book needed a villain in the third act, so randomly assigned the role to side character Albert. So he's evil for a few dozen pages after showing no indication of this before, then the whole incident with him is resolved by Death with zero problems. It's super weird-- in fact, you could probably cut Albert out of the story entirely and nothing would change. Perhaps I'm missing something but I really didn't see the point of this. There is some context suggesting he is an historical figure referenced in other Discworld novels, so maybe it's more interesting if you've read those. However, having only read Guards! Guards!, this obviously fell flat for me. While inter-book references are fun (I was delighted to see The Librarian, for example), I don't think key components of the plot should rely on them, assuming that is the case here.

On the positive side, there are some small details I loved. One is how Pratchett uses the phrase "There is no justice. There is just me," to refer to Death. Because the moment I read it I wondered when we would hear "there is just us" instead, since the pun speaks for itself. So when we DID get that line during an emotional moment of the story I was cheering and hollering and punching the air and shit. It's one of those predictable things that is nevertheless extremely satisfying as a reader.

Another great detail is that every person has a literal book that describes their life until they die, which is constantly being written. While this is true metaphorically, it's a literal thing in Death's domain. Mort the novel closes with Mort the character seeing his own book and reading from it, and this becomes the narration for the last page or so. It's a clever payoff to a mechanic introduced in the novel.

A last thing to note is that there are still some loose ends. This isn't necessarily a criticism since there is a chance they are addressed in future books, but I'm mentioning them for my own benefit. In one early scene, Mort bungles his job so badly that a witch named Goodie Hamstring successfully manipulates him and escapes dying entirely. Considering the emphasis on this scene and the ominous tone, it isn't addressed at all by the end of the book, so it is possible this character shows up elsewhere.

Something not fully explored is the theme of reality. When Mort rescues Princess Keli, he creates a paradox where multiple realities exist, and one has to dominate over the other, which serves as part of the main conflict. Death's realm is not real despite being a major location in the story-- something that's true in a meta sense (Mort being a work of fiction) but also in the context of the story. Then there's implications throughout the book that Mort becomes "more real" the more he behaves like Death. While Death is the final reality of life, obviously, this is presented more in a mechanical way than a philosophical one. At the end of the story Death gives Mort a pearl of reality that Mort created due to the events of the novel, stating that it can be the beginning of a new universe whenever Discworld finally dies. This is… quite the detail to drop at the end. I feel like reality is explored as an in-universe mechanic rather than a metaphorical theme in the story, which is why it doesn't feel conclusive by the end. It makes me wonder, again, if this is going to come up in a later Discworld novel.

**CONCLUSION**

Overall while I had some issues with Mort as a story, as a reading experience I really enjoyed it. I might delve into more of the City Watch storyline next, since I had a great time with Guards! Guards! and want more of those characters.