#probably not buts lets see what other people think

[wouldtheyfuck]

[cyripticchronicler]

i haven’t request before so i apologise if i’ve done anything wrong 😭

sirius finding out about james & regulus’ relationship so he asks out james’sibling!reader for ‘revenge’ but falls for reader hard.

it’s absolutely fine if you don’t do this, just thought i’d request and i love your fics 🤍🦇

Accidental Love

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Potter!Reader

Summary: Sirius can't erase the image of Regulus and James together. And he knows that the only way to put out the flame of anger in his chest is through you.

A/N: This is my longest fic yet ahaha. It was a lot of fun and I hope you enjoy! I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to your requests, I've had so many things to write! To all the other people who have requested, I'll get to them as soon as I can. I love you all and you deserve great things xx (Yes that's a Pride and Prejudice (2005 version) quote at the end of the fic)

TW: Swearing, Sirius is kinda a dick, mention of Sirius' bad parents, kissing, not proofread (please tell me of any mistakes)

Masterlist

The red hot betrayal stings Sirius’ tongue and poisons each gulp of water he forces down his throat in an attempt to control his growing anger. His hands shake, fisted at his side, yet he can’t draw his eyes from the scene in front of him. 

His best friend and brother, laughing and holding hands like it was completely normal to see the two together. Sirius isn’t sure why the sight in front of him hurts so bad. Maybe it’s because it’s his brother, one he’s never had a good relationship with because of his parents always pushing them apart, laughing so easily and carelessly with his best friend. Or maybe it’s because it’s James, one of his best friends, the one he tells everything, keeping this relationship with his brother a secret. 

He probably looks insane, sitting alone in the corner of The Three Broomsticks, anger rolling off of him in waves. He’s not sure what to do. Does he go up there and confront them? Does he pretend like he saw nothing? Logistically, he knows it would be better to walk away, take a moment to gather his thoughts, but he just can’t get the image of them out of his mind, can’t get the taste of betrayal off of his tongue. 

So he forms a plan, one he doesn’t let himself second guess. And he knows it’s going to work well, knows it’s going to hit James right where it hit Sirius because it involves you.

✰✰✰

You’re none the wiser to the plans and strategies forming in Sirius’ head, leaning against the armrest in the Gryffindor common room as you chat adamantly about all the Transfiguration homework that has been set. 

Alice, smiling at how worked up you get over the class, listens eagerly to your complaints, butting in when it feels right. Lily on the other hand, taking up all the space on the sofa with her long legs, pokes at your arm in an attempt to shut you up, having heard you complain on the way to the grand hall this morning. 

“How about instead of complaining, you actually do the homework,” She teases, giggling as Alice hits her leg playfully. Your face scrunches in confusion, head tilting to the side ever so slightly. “I’ve already done the homework.”

Alice and Lily gawk at you. Huffing out a laugh, Alice grins teasingly. “Then what’s all this complaining for? You’ve been talking non-stop for half an hour about this bloody homework.” It’s your turn to smile, shifting so your feet are between Lily’s legs spread out on the couch, ignoring her annoyed yelp. “Just because I’ve finished doesn’t mean the amount wasn’t pure torture the whole time.”

You hear Lily’s smirk before you see it. “That sounds a little dirty. Who’s been torturing you, missy?” Your eyes widen, cheeks flushing even as you laugh. “Shush! My brother’s probably here somewhere, and I don’t think he’d like the thought of his little sister getting it on,” You grit through your teeth, scanning the crowded room to look for him. You sigh in relief when you see no sight of him.

“Oh please,” Alice pinches your cheeks. “No one would believe you’re getting it on. When a guy asks you out you just stare at them and wait until they take it back.” You swat her hands away and rub your red cheeks. “That is not true!” They just stare at you, eyebrows raised. 

Thankfully, you’re saved from having to defend yourself when someone pointedly clears their throat from behind you. Cringing at the thought of someone having heard your conversation, you turn around slowly, heart speeding up at the sight of none other than Sirius Black in front of you. 

You’ve stopped lying to yourself about the tiny, minuscule, crush you have on Sirius months ago. There’s no denying the speeding of your heart, or the way your cheeks flush when he so much as looks your way. But you’ve pushed those feelings away, deep down inside you to gather dust and hopefully one day, whither away.

You muster up your best smile and ignore the heat in your cheeks. “Hey, Sirius. I’m not sure where James is but I think Remus is in the library.” He smiles his usual, arrogant smile but it wobbles like it’s hard to hold. 

“I’m not here to see them. I’m here to see you.” Eyes widening a fraction, you attempt to get your thoughts in place, though it’s hard with the consistent poking of Lily’s finger on your arm. “Okay.” You take Sirius’ gesture to an emptier part of the room as a sign, awkwardly shuffling out of between Lily’s feet and trying not to trip. 

“What did you need to talk to me about?” Your hands fiddle nervously behind your back and you shift on your feet. Sirius reveals his picture-perfect smile, eyes crinkling in the corners. Smoothly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, he places a cold hand on your shoulder, stopping your nervous movements. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometime? Just the two of us?” Time seems to stop, your breath getting caught in your throat. Through your shocked haze, the overthinking spiral begins just like it does when anyone asks you out. Sirius could be asking you out as a joke. Maybe James is pranking you. It’s most likely a dream, Sirius has shown no interest in you before. 

“You okay?” His amused voice snaps you from your over-thinking haze, eyes blinking rapidly at the sudden dryness. Back to the corner of the room, you’re able to spot Alice and Lily eyeing you curiously from their spot on the couch a few feet away. Alice notices your stare and provides an encouraging thumbs up, while Lily performs some crude motions with her fingers.

Frowning, you drag your eyes back to Sirius’ patient eyes. “Um,” Your tongue feels heavy inside your mouth. “Okay?” He lights up, eyes twinkling while an eager grin spreads across his face, showcasing his dimples. You try not to awe out loud. 

“Great! Does tomorrow in hogsmeade sound good? We’ll meet in the common room and walk down together.” You can’t do anything but manage a small smile and nod, overwhelmed with the amount of emotions hitting you. 

Sirius shoots you another smile, and perhaps if you paid more attention you would have noticed the guilt painted on his face, or the smell of revenge as he walked away.

✰✰✰

In the cool common room, morning light peeks through the framed windows and sheds a musky light throughout the empty space. You stand awkwardly in the middle, kicking the dusty carpet nervously with your shoe-clad feet. 

Your heart is beating wildly in your chest and you scratch at the inside of your wrist, a nervous habit you picked up years ago. You’ve been standing for at least five minutes now, no sign of Sirius. Your mind is racing and you begin to wonder if he’s even coming or not, but thankfully for you and your heart, the sound of footsteps break out behind you.

“Hey!” You whip around, a small smile on your face that reflects the glee in your bones. “Hi,” You whisper, letting him pull you in for a small hug, a mere touch of your shoulders before he’s walking slowly beside you. 

“I was thinking we could go shopping then maybe get a butterbeer?” The small grin that paints his face is noticeable through his voice. “I’d love that. Um-” You scratch your eyebrow in an attempt to clear your thoughts. “How are you?”

His hand moves to your back, guiding you down the windy path that leads to Hogsmeade, layered with early morning frost. Your hands, clad in gloves to beat the cold, fidget nervously with the straps of your bag. “I’m well. Been busy with school. Remus’ birthday is coming up so we’ve been trying to plan something for him. How about you?”

“I’m okay. I’ve been swamped with school work, and barely had enough time to paint.” 

“You paint?” He asks curiously. You nod. “Yeah, mostly realism but sometimes abstract.”

“I’d love to see your work sometime, I’m sure it's beautiful.” You blush for what seems like the millionth time today. “Maybe one day.” You don’t share your art much, only to close friends like Lily and Alice, but only the really good ones. Yet, you can see yourself sharing your artwork with Sirius. 

You continue to chat about your classes, chatting adamantly with each other. And it feels good. He seems to care, laughs and makes jokes at the right times, stares at you with increasing interest. 

But there’s a nagging feeling in your gut, something that won’t go away no matter how much candy from Honeydukes you eat. “You alright?” Sirius asks when you’re quieter than usual, staring off into space while trying to decipher the odd feeling. 

Sirius watches as a frown tarnishes your usually happy face, the guilt of what he’s doing, how he’s using you, nagging at him. Yet he can’t seem to stop, whenever he thinks of admitting what he’s doing the image of James and Regulus together stares back at him and makes it hard for him to open his mouth. 

“Sorry, I’m alright, Sirius. Just thinking.” His shoulder bumps yours, pulling you along to The Three Broomsticks. “About?” He grins, a certain spark in his eyes. You smile back. “Just things.” He pulls you to a stop right outside the entrance, moving down your sweater-covered arms until his hands are in yours. 

“You’re really pretty.” It’s true, but it doesn’t stop the pang of guilt, followed quickly by an image of James and Regulus hugging. You melt, flushing under his stare, that's swarming with so much admiration, you find it impossible to believe.

“Thank you. So are you.” Entering The Three Broomsticks, warmth and the smell of butterbeer greeting you. You're too absorbed in finding an empty table to notice the pink flush that covers the apple of his cheeks. 

Throughout Sirius’ lifetime, he’s never gotten many compliments. After leaving his family and moving in with James, Euphemia had given Sirius many motherly compliments. But coming from a beautiful girl who he’s treating unfairly, the compliment hits hard. 

But it still doesn't stop him from planning, scheming. How can he show James how it hurts? How does he make sure he feels the same pain and betrayal Sirius felt when seeing Regulus and him together?

Watching you, eyes lit up by the flickering candles that provide a romantic, peaceful aroma, he knows that it’s going to hurt you. Painfully hard. 

✰✰✰

“How are you doing, Padfoot? Moony and I came up with another prank to get back at Malfoy. Are you up for it?” James speaks so casually, resting against the pillows on his bed while he reads a book about quidditch, it’s hard to think he’s keeping a secret. If Sirius had not seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn't have thought anything was out of the ordinary. 

“No.” He responds gruffly, shrugging on a leather jacket and pulling rings on his fingers. “You okay, Pads?” Remus asks and he finally looks up, noting the frown that pulls at both of their faces. “I’m fine.” His voice is noticeably softer when pointed at Remus.

“Where are you going?” James asks with a small, hesitant smile and Sirius can’t help but feel guilt at the anger he’s feeling towards an oblivious James. But he can’t bring himself to act nicer, can’t force a sweeter tone in his voice. “Date.”

“With who?” Your sister. “Someone.” Remus opens his mouth but he’s quick to cut him off. “Bye.”

Your first date with Sirius was a week ago and Sirius knew straight away what he wanted to do for the second date. Even though he’s doing it to get back at James, he can’t help but feel a pang of excitement at the notion of going on a second date with you.

Your smiling face greets him outside the common room, leaning against the wall across from the Fat Lady. “Hey, love.” You blush adorably at the nickname and Sirius eyes your nails as they scratch at your wrist. He grabs your hand before you can hurt yourself more.

You let him pull you down the moving stairs, your little giggles echoing off the stone walls. “Where are we going?” You ask, tightening your hold on his hand. “Painting.” Your eyes widen and you splutter in shock. 

“What?” Sirius can’t help but grin at the obvious excitement in your eyes. “I told you I wanted to see your artwork. I bought the supplies yesterday, figured we could have a picnic.” Your awe at this new side of Sirius, the side that plans special dates and puts effort into it. It was a nice day today and Sirius wanted to take advantage of the sunny weather before the snow that’s set to fall next week prevents them from going outside.

Sirius had shown no interest in you before. He’d been kind, sure, but you’d never had a proper, real conversation until he asked you out. Maybe that's why there’s still an odd feeling in your gut, maybe it’s because you know it’s weird he asked you out on a random day, without showing any interest in you before that. But for now, you blame it on overthinking and push those feelings away.

You chat aimlessly on the way to the Black Lake, fiddling with your skirt so you don’t do something stupid like grab his hand. After the end of your last date, you’ve both agreed to keep this dating thing a secret. 

The gasp you let out at the sight of the laid picnic has Sirius grinning, a proud sort of glee that rolls down his spine. He takes a seat next to you on the pink checkered blanket, sitting around the pile of food he prays you like. 

Passing you an empty canvas and a basket of paints, he watches as you sit and stare for a moment, contemplating. He doesn’t like the way his heart speeds up at the unmistakable beauty that is your face. So he ignores it. 

“What are you painting?” You grab the colors you need, mixing them on a fresh pallet. The ideas that come to you are clear as day, images of green, healthy trees next to a shimmering, blue lake where people are swimming in the early morning sun. You begin to paint before you forget. 

“Just a landscape. You?” You take a quick peek at his canvas, seeing he’s already added streaks of red and orange. “I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve ever painted before?”

“Ever?” You ask, the shock clear in your voice. You see him grin at you from the corner of your eye. “Never had the opportunity. No one in my family paints and James and Remus don’t.”

“Remus does actually, I ran into him once at this muggle painting class.” Sirius laughs. “Of course he’s painted before. He’s a man of many talents.”

You grin, brushing stray hair out of your eyes. Trying not to shiver at the cold wind, you begin to regret your decision of wearing a skirt and thin, long sleeve top. “He had the best art in the whole class, James couldn’t stop laughing at me when I came back with Remus behind me holding an award for best art.”

Sirius laughs, head throwing back at the thought of Remus’ smug face and your defeated one. “I guess you being siblings with James means you’re friends with all of his friends.” Your smile turns sad, voice quiet. “Yeah.”

Sirius frowns, momentarily stopping to gently nudge your shoulder. “What’s up?” You sigh, biting your lip. “It’s just…All of my friends- most of them, are really only friends with me because of James. Being friends with me would give them more opportunities to get with James, right?” You attempt a laugh though it’s not funny.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is genuine and when you look at him he’s already looking at you, eyes sparkling. You shake your head and look back down at your work. “Don’t be sorry, Sirius. You did nothing. And I have Lily and Alice, I don’t need anyone else.”

The guilt almost eats him alive. He feels physically sick at how you're going to react. At the fact he's doing something that’s going to hurt you badly. Your kind, beautiful soul doesn’t deserve this. 

He opens his mouth, ready to confess and face the backlash of you hating him, something he doesn’t know if he can handle but deserves. You beat him to it. “Don’t tell James, please. I don’t need him feeling guilty, it’s not his fault.” And now he can’t tell you. You’ve poured your heart out, confessed something you haven’t even told James. Maybe one day, when you grow to hate him and leave like they all will, will he tell you.

You continue to paint until the sun starts setting and casts a warm glow on the two of you. With your hair, now tied up in a messy bun and Sirius’ leather jacket around your shoulders, you look perfect in his head. He feels happy and free and he knows he’s looking at you weirdly, too soft for his usual harsh features but he can’t stop. 

So he looks away and shows you his painting of a terrible sunset where two people sit on a grassy field and watch as the sun makes room for the power of the moon. You show yours next, a painting worth the spot next to the Mona Lisa and Sirius makes sure to fawn over it, making sure you know your own worth. Afterwards, you eat and watch the sunset just like the couple in his painting. When you invite him sledding next week, he can’t bring himself to say no. Or to tell you the truth because that would mean losing you, and that’s something he just can’t handle. 

✰✰✰

“You ready, sweetheart?” Your laughter is music to his ears, a melody he’s not sure he could ever go without. It’s scary, how quickly you’ve grown on him, but he can’t bring himself to pull back. 

“I was born ready.” You’re holding a wooden sleigh beneath your armpit, fingers tapping along to a beat in your head as you trudge through the thick snow that fell overnight, the sunny weather from your last date nowhere to be found. 

You stop at the tip of a snowy hill, white frosting reflecting the sun in your eyes that you attempt to shield away with your gloved hands. “Let’s do this.” You grin teasingly at Sirius, holding up your sleigh. He copies you, hitting yours gently with your own. 

Placing the sleigh on the ground, he crouches down beside it with a furrowed brow. “How do we do this?” Your eyebrows raise in surprise. “You’ve never done this before?” He sheepishly smiles, scratching the back of his neck. “My family’s not one for things like sledding.” 

You know about his family history of course, James has been talking to your Mom and Dad a lot more recently, discussing how we could get Sirius to stay with us. You hope one day he can do all the things he wasn’t allowed to do. Him and Regulus deserve better. 

You know Sirius wouldn’t appreciate the pitying look on your face so you mask it with excitement and quickly teach him how to sit in the sleigh. “Race you.” You challenge once he’s ready before speeding down the steep hill, Sirius not too far behind you. Laughter fills the air, your hair whipping behind you. 

Once you reach the end with an abrupt stop, you roll onto the cool snow, making snow angels. Sirius’ face comes into view, blocking the sun from your squinting eyes and you grin, tongue between your teeth as you attempt to withhold your loud giggles. 

“I beat you!” And then he’s jumping down beside you, rolling over top of you to tickle your warming body. He’s greedy, wanting more of your laughter that seems to be his lifeline. “That was luck!” He insists, continuously tickling you until you tap out. 

Then you’re running up the hill again, sleigh behind you while Sirius follows. He’s barely in his sleigh before you’re speeding down the hill again, a whir of colors in the white cloudy snow. He attempts to catch up, a running head start proves useful when he’s speeding past you with an excited cheer. 

The abrupt stop has him falling into the snow that he pays no attention to, whipping around to try and decipher where you went, having lost you halfway down the hill. “Hello?” He yells into the open, empty air. He can’t see you anywhere, just pure white snow. 

Sirius frowns, standing up to look around. “Hello?” His heart is racing now, no sight of you anywhere. “Where are you?” Stomping through the snow, he runs up the hill to see if you’re there. You’re not. 

“Boo!”

Sirius jumps in fright, letting out a high pitched scream that has you doubling over in laughter. “You-You-” You mock his face, quiet laughs escaping your open mouth. Stomach hurting from how much you’ve laughed, you collapse to the floor again, this time bringing Sirius with you. He falls beside you, one hand holding his head up while he watches you die of laughter, smile on his chapped lips. 

Slowly, your laughter dies down, silence heavy in the air. You open your eyes to find him staring back at you and you sigh at the beauty of his face. The slope of his nail, sharp cut of his jaw and accentuated cheekbones. 

He’s like a force that can’t be defeated, leaning up on your elbows, nose grazing his. He smiles, hot breath hitting your plump lips. “Can I kiss you?” You’re not sure whether the words uttered were your own or his, but both of you eagerly lean into each other, lips grazing before he’s pressing them against yours. 

It’s heart stopping, a thrill racing down your spine and you press yourself harder against him, letting him grip your waist with his large hands. Sirius can’t think, can’t feel anything but your lips on his, warm and soft and perfect.

And he knows that he can’t ever tell you. He can’t tell you of his cruel, unforgivable actions because he knows now that you were the one he always needed. He won’t tell you anything.

✰✰✰

“Did you just smile at my sister?” James’ voice snaps Sirius out of his trance where he was thinking and looking at you. Whipping his head to face James, whose face is set in curiosity, Sirius merely nods. “We’ve become…Friends.”

He can’t help himself and sneaks another look at you where you sit not too far away, hands moving wildly in front of you whilst talking to Alice and Lily. He grins again. 

“Oh,” A knowing glint enters James’ eyes. Sirius ignores it. “I’m glad you’ve become…Friends.” James attempts to hide his smirk by drinking his orange juice. 

Sirius is too absorbed in you and the fact you’re walking near him to notice or care. He thinks he’s about to have a heart attack when you stop beside him, lips tingling in memory of the kiss from just yesterday. 

He feels his heart deflate when you direct your attention to James and not him. “You said you wanted to talk to me?” His eyes widen and he nods, shooting Sirius a quick, guilty glance before standing up from his seat. “Yeah, I want your advice on something. Can we walk?”

Your eyebrows furrow, curiosity reflecting in your eyes. You nod and follow him out of the great hall whilst shooting Remus and Sirius a parting smile. 

“I’m glad to hear you and Sirius are friends.” Hands in his uniform pockets, James is a ball of nervous energy. You blush at his words and the only response you can come up with is a quiet “yeah.”

You round the corner that leads to the courtyard. “I was thinking that since you and Sirius are now friends,” He exaggerates the word ‘friend,’ “I could get your advice on how you think he’d feel if he found out me and Regulus are dating.” The whispered last words have you stopping in your tracks, head whipping up to stare at James with wide eyes. 

“You’re gay?” James panics, whipping his head around and aggressively pushing you into an empty classroom. “Merlin, you don’t have to shout it.”

“James,” You can’t hold back your smile, “I’m so happy for you.” He deflates, eyes that once bounced around the room nervously now glint with unshed tears and he pulls you in for a tight hug. 

You hug him back tighter, squeezing in a way you hope annoys him. You mutter against his shoulder, “To answer your question, I think Sirius would be happy for you both. But he’s protective over Regulus, it might take time for him to get used to the idea.”

He pulls away, shaking your shoulder while he subtly wipes away a stray tear. “Okay, thanks, I keep panicking at the thought of Sirius hating me for dating his brother. He’s been ignoring me recently and I keep thinking it’s because he already knows.”

Your eyes widen, having a slight suspicion on why Sirius was ignoring James. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with you. Now we should go before we’re late for first period.” He shakes you aggressively, holding you by the shoulders in a brotherly way to annoy you. 

“Yes, go to class, little shit. I’m happy for you and Sirius, you know.” Wild heat blazes across your cheeks, heart growing louder in your ears. “I-I don’t-”

He’s out of the room before you can finish your sentence.

✰✰✰

“Let’s go before all the tables are full!” You’re pulling Sirius along, having to take large lunge-like steps to reach The Three Broomsticks quickly. Light snow, melting by each step, provides a slippery path to the entrance. 

Sirius has his hands on your hips, ensuring you don’t fall. He reaches past you to open the door, quickly guiding you in to ensure the heat does not escape. The tilt of his lips is felt against the shell of your ear, keeping you close against him. 

You giggle quietly, a flush warming your whole body. Sirius feels the exact same flush. He’s never felt so warm and happy. It’s all because of you. 

His body bumps into you when you abruptly stop in the middle of the building. Nudging his nose with your cheek - how easily he began to crave your touch a shock to even him - he follows your gaze, letting out a breath at the view he’s unwillingly seen a second time. 

James and Regulus. Noses touching. Hands touching. Staring only at each other. He wonders if that’s what you both look like, infatuated with each other, greedy with touches and absolutely disgusting to look at. 

“Do you-” Your voice, sweet as honey, snaps him out of his thoughts. “-want to sit with them?” Your voice is hesitant, nervous for his reaction. But a simple squeeze of his hand has him nodding and shuffling to the table where James and Regulus have finally noticed you both. 

He notices the way you separate from him so that you’re no longer touching. But, instead of focusing on that, he focuses on shooting his brother a strained, awkward smile. He’s never had the best relationship with his brother, something Sirius regrets deeply. 

The strain their parents caused with favoring one and abusing the other, had caused a rocky relationship that had been on the mend ever since Sirius had become friends with James and Remus. 

“Do you want to sit?” The sharp, blunt voice of his brother has him sitting and pulling you with him. Years of living together has given Sirius the talent of noticing his brother's nervous tics. The tick of his jaw and scrunch of his nose gave him away. 

It seems Sirius wasn’t the only one who noticed his nervousness because James, who still chats with you, places his hand on top of Regulus’. “How are you?” Sirius attempts, tongue heavy in his mouth. 

“Good.” Came his blunt reply. A tap of his hand from James has his jaw twitching. “How are you?” 

“Good.”

Silence

You, ever kind and understanding, would not settle for the awkward and kept the conversation going, conversing with James and Regulus, even attempting to include Sirius, who tried to join in for you. And Regulus. 

He watches the way James notes every expression on Regulus’ face, can read any sign of nervousness, stress, happiness, and he realizes he’s now not the only one who can read his brother. The skill that took Sirius years to master, James had learned in a much shorter amount of time. 

He frowns. “How long have you two been together?” Regulus answers, narrowing his eyes, threatening. “Three months.” James places a comforting hand on his shoulder and Regulus drops the glare. “What about you two?” He asks a lot more gently than Sirius asked. 

You, who watched the situation with an amused brow, flushed embarrassingly quickly. “Oh- we’re not-”

“We’ve been on three dates- four if you count this one. We’re still trying to figure it out.” Sirius replies smoothly. He’s surprised to find no hint of anger or betrayal on James’ face. Like he planned. But, he’s not disappointed at that fact. If anything, he’s relieved. Relieved James isn’t angry about this relationship because Sirius couldn't stay away from you if he tried. 

“I’m happy for you two.” You smile, kicking your brother gratefully under the table. A rare spark of amusement shines in Regulus’ eyes, a void of black. “Knowing you Sirius, I'm surprised you’re not pissed.” He leans forward on his elbows, tilting his head in a playful challenge. “You’re not secretly plotting to get back at us, are you?”

You laugh, turning to Sirius and expecting him to laugh too but he only looks down at his hands that grip his butterbeer, a flash of guilt that’s gone before it’s there. Your smile is tight. Wrapping your arm around Sirius’ arm, you go back to filling the silence. 

“Does Remus know?” James nods, licking the butterbeer off his lips. “Yeah, I needed advice on how to tell you,” He looks at Sirius. “I told him a month ago. That fucker told me he already knew.” 

You laugh, happy your brother is surrounded by such good people. Looking down in your hands, you note your drink is empty and sigh. “Does anyone want another drink?” The glasses in front of James and Sirius are empty while Regulus still nurses his drink. They both nod.

Sirius goes to stand up but you force him to sit with a hand on his shoulder. “Sit. I’ll go get the drinks while you three talk.” You widen your eyes, hoping Sirius gets the hint. Without leaving room for argument, you hurry to the bar to order more drinks, a giddy sort of excitement bubbling your blood. 

“Three butterbeers, please.” You grin, tapping your hands on the bench while you wait. “You and Sirius are cute.” You jump at a new voice, smiling at Marlene who takes the empty spot next to you while she waits for her drinks. 

“Thank you,” You whisper, flushed. She winks playfully at you. “So are Regulus and James. It’s annoying that they're gay, though. They’re so hot.” You laugh awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to someone talking about your brother like that. 

Fresh drinks in front of you, you’re about to head back to the table when Marlene says something that makes you pause. “I’m glad Sirius has finally gotten around to the idea of them together.” You tilt your head in confusion. “Finally? He just learnt of their relationship.”

It’s her turn to look confused. “No? I saw Sirius here like a month ago? He was staring all angry looking at them. I’m surprised steam wasn’t coming out of his ears. He just stood there for a good five minutes before he left, never got a table or anything.”

Your heart beats like crazy, a sinking suspicion forming in your mind. “What day was this?” Marlene smiles, unaware of the impending pain that she forces on your heart. “September 5th?”

The day Sirius asked you out. 

You’re not secretly plotting to get back at us, are you?

He was. 

Not wanting to go back to the table and face the truth just yet, you stand by the bar, listening to Marlene talk and pretending to listen. 

Sirius watches you, unable to keep his eyes off for more than a second. He forces himself to look away when he feels James staring at him though. “Yes?” 

“Don’t hurt her. She may act tough, but she’s sensitive.” James, face that’s usually all smiley and happy, is now set in a threatening glare, jaw clenched and Sirius knows he’s being serious. 

“I never want to hurt her.” It’s true. If the racing of his heart, the weird feeling in his bones, and the dizziness that fogs his mind whenever he thinks of you is any indication, he’s falling in love with you. But just because he wants to doesn’t mean he can go back in time and change his intentions for why he asked you out in the first place. He regrets it. The anger and betrayal that took over him was merely a passing emotion, replaced with happiness for both his brother and James. 

But just because his feelings about their relationship changed, doesn’t mean you would understand why he did it. 

✰✰✰

You’d been awfully quiet the rest of the night. And it’s hitting Sirus the wrong way. He knows something’s wrong but he doesn’t know what, nor does he know how to fix it. 

The light that you emitted was nowhere to be found, and you’ve kept yourself distant, ignoring all his attempts to touch you. 

“Are you okay?” He whispers in your ear, touching your hip gently. He frowns, heart panging when you flinch away from him. “I need to talk to you,” Your voice is a whisper, unable to be heard in the crowded common room if Sirius wasn’t so attentive to your every move. 

He nods, too aggressively to be considered normal. He watches you scratch your wrist and he lets you, not wanting to be rejected again. Or worse; you flinch back.

He follows you like a lost puppy, clambering up the stairs behind you until you’re in the empty hallway. You lean against the wall and he leans against the other one to give you space, wanting nothing more than to reach for your hand. 

“I-” You look down at your shoes, hiding your eyes from his wanting gaze. “I was talking to Marlene. She told me that you saw James and Regulus together like a month ago. And that you looked really angry.” It feels like a rock was stuck in his throat, he couldn’t swallow, couldn’t breathe. He knows where it’s going and he knows he can’t defend himself because it was all. His. Fault. 

“Then Regulus made a joke, you know the one about you plotting to get revenge. I mean,” You ran your hand through your hands nervously, feeling like there was a pack of bugs in your heart that were fighting to get out “you didn’t even laugh at the joke. It wasn’t that funny but you looked so…Guilty-”

He can’t look you in the eyes when he confesses. “I first asked you out to get back at James.” He swore he could hear your heart break. He could feel his own heart shatter when you started walking away, and he desperately ran in front of you to try and get you to stop. “I have to admit, at first it was merely a ploy to make James understand what I felt. Because I was so angry and I felt so betrayed. I didn’t mean to fall for you, but you’re so brilliant. You’re beautiful and smart, and I was selfish. I’m so sorry, baby.” 

He couldn't keep the agony out of his voice if he tried. His chest was rising and falling in hard breaths and he felt physically nauseous. You’re everything to him and you’re going to leave him. 

“Would you-” Your voice cracks and you clear your throat. “Would you have told me at all? That you used me?” His silence was enough of an answer. 

Your whole body shakes and your bottom lip wobbles. Salty tears roll down your cheeks and you cover your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head. No. He never even wanted you. He took advantage of your stupid crush and used you. A loud sob racks through your body and you turn away, unable to look at the man you had begun to fall in love with. 

“Please-” You managed to speak through gasped sobs. “Please, I can’t look at you right now.”

“I'm sorry-”

“Sirius.”

He walks off, taking your heart with it. The loss of his own heaving breaths told you he was gone and allowed you to finally collapse, falling back against the wall.

✰✰✰

You hadn’t left the girls dormitory in three days. Your heart weighs heavily in your chest and it holds you down, stopping you from going anywhere but your bed and the bathroom. Besides small bites of the food one of the girls had dropped off, you haven’t eaten much either. 

You feel pathetic. You wouldn’t be this worked up over any guy but it was Sirius, a man you’ve been crushing on for what feels like forever. And he used you. After you opened up, told him how you’ve been used multiple times because of James and he did the same thing. 

Three days in near total confinement, you’ve managed to analyze every moment with him. Every kiss, every touch, every look. Was any of it real? You’ve rubbed your cheeks raw from how much you’ve cried.

It hurts so bad and it seems to never end. It feels as though there's a big, gaping hole where your heart should be. 

“Hey, sweetie.” You lift your head from your tear-stained pillow, turning to face the door. Lily has just come back from classes, pretty red hair tied in a bun at the top of her head. She smiles one of her sweet, pitying smiles that only make you feel more pathetic. 

“Hi,” You mutter. She comes closer, stroking your hair and ignoring the knots. “James has come to see you.” 

You sit up so fast you begin to feel dizzy. “Fuck,” You whisper, pressing the palm of your hand against your forehead. “You think you could hold him off?” You already know the answer before she speaks. “I’m sorry. He’s been trying to see you ever since you never showed up for dinner three days ago. ‘Don’t think he’s going to take no for an answer anymore.”

“Okay,” You sigh, sitting up in bed and scrubbing your face. She kisses you on the forehead gently before going to get James who barges into your room almost immediately. “Are you okay?”

You scoff, giving him a smile while he practically forces you into a hug. “I’m fine.” Your voice is muffled by the fabric of his Quidditch shirt. With a disgusted sniff, you push him away from you. “Ew get away you stink.” 

He doesn’t listen and instead forces you against his shirt and you gag, hitting at his arms while he practically suffocates you. “I thought you were trying to comfort me, you piece of shit.” He finally lets you go and you gasp dramatically for fresh air. “I am comforting you. See, there's a small smile on your ugly face.”

“Fuck off,” You mutter, only half meaning it. His face turns serious. “Now, seriously, are you okay?”

You look down at your hands, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Did, uh, Sirius tell you what happened?” He frowns. “He did, had a fucking go at him afterwards.”

“James.” You scold. 

“But then,” He continued, “We talked. And he told me what happened, why he did it. Sure, it was a dick move but he seems really sad at the idea. He was on the verge of a panic attack, Remus had to calm him down. You don’t have to forgive him, but maybe it would help if you two spoke.”

“James,” You sigh, pulling at your hair as the pang of a headache pulses in the front of your brain. “He hurt me. He used me, I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk to him.” Gently, his hands move up to stroke your hair. “Okay, that’s okay. You don’t need to forgive him but I got a letter from Mom and she’s letting Regulus and Sirius stay with us for as long as they need.”

“Okay,” You blink, rubbing your eyes and laying back against the bed. “Can we talk about something else, I’m sick of crying.” He mockingly pouts though you know he really is worried about you. 

And then he’s pulling you in for another hug despite your physical protests. 

✰✰✰

It takes another five days to muster the courage to talk to Sirius. He’s sitting in the common room, staring into the fireplace that blazes with fire, eyes vacant. Remus and James are huddled together, laughing at some gadget they’re playing with. 

You stand against the wall awkwardly, shifting on your feet awkwardly in hope Sirius would snap out of his daydreaming to notice you. Unfortunately, it’s Remus who notices you. And the smiled call of your name is what snaps Sirius out of his trance, bloodshot eyes snapping to yours almost instantly. 

The heartbreak in his eyes is a mirror of your own. You attempt a smile but it wobbles almost instantly. “Can I talk to you?” You’re not even sure you said it out loud but Sirius nods anyway, getting up from his spot on the couch and walking towards you, slowly as if you were ready to run at any moment. 

You feel like you could run at any moment.

With shaking hands, you gently grip his wrist. He lets out a sigh at the small touch of contact, eyes fluttering shut. Gently, you lead him outside of the common room and down the marble steps. 

It’s silent as you keep walking, down, down, down, until you’re at the Black Lake. Not once do you let go of your grip around his wrist. Not once does he comment on it, lest you remove your hand that provides the air he lives on. 

For the first time in a week he feels like he can finally breathe again. He’s scared of what you want to say, and he hates for this to be the last time he can touch you again. Impending dread twists his stomach but he selfishly allows himself to hope. 

“I want you to explain why you did it,” You start, stopping under a snow covered tree. Unlike Sirius, you’re dressed for the cold weather, wearing multiple layers of warm clothing and fluffy gloves. Sirius, on the other hand, is freezing his ass off, with only one layer of clothing and no gloves. But he doesn’t mind as long as it means more time with you. 

He’s been given the opportunity to explain himself and he’s not going to fuck this up. Shaking his head, he starts from the start. “When I first saw James and Regulus together I felt so angry. Regulus and I never had a good relationship, I like to blame it on my parents for pitting us against each other but I know it’s also my fault. I should have tried harder to have a relationship with him.”

It’s hard to stare with you looking at him like that but he’s trying his best. 

“I guess I got…Jealous? I’ve always wanted a good relationship with him- I mean he’s my brother, you know?” he lets out a dry laugh, void of any humor. “And then James didn’t tell me anything, I don’t expect him to but it hurt. I’ve been talking to someone Euphemia suggested and I think I was scared that he was going to leave. Regulus has always been my parents' favorite, and I got scared that James would see how much better he was and would leave me.”

 “Either way, I should have never involved you. And used you like that. You never deserved that and I’m so sorry.”

You’re quiet, staring at the frozen lake. Slowly, you wipe your mouth with your hands, turning to look at him. You manage a small smile before you’re walking towards him hesitantly, taking his hands that look ready to turn blue at any moment into yours. 

“Your hands are cold.” You place a gentle kiss on his knuckles and Sirius would have fallen to his knees in front of you if it wouldn’t have lost contact with your body, warm and inviting. Your lips tickle his fingers as you continue to speak. “A part of me is still a little angry. But I can’t stay away from you. Merlin, one week away from you and all I could think about were your kisses, and how kind you are.”

“So you’ll take me back?”

“Of course, my love.”

Then you’re kissing him, warming his cold lips and melting him from the inside out. You’re gentle, cradling his hands between yours and being so so loving. He feels like he could cry. He’s never felt this loved before, not by his parents, not by his friends, heck, not by his brother. 

“I love you,” It's the first time he’s ever whispered those words, but it feels right. Everything about you and him feels right. 

“I love you too.”

[thatdeadaquarius]

Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot

Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...

Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.

Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.

Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?

WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-

On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs

But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader

Planet: Language Shenanigans

Orbit: Scenario

Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),

& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.

You were not a very confident writer.

This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.

You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.

things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.

If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…

So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,

You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.

Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.

Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.

You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world

After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)

Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???

you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-

and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-

His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,

“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”

…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),

and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all

you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!

◇

Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.

You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???

You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???

(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)

You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:

you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-

you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-

oh my god-

Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-

You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.

You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.

“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”

Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)

and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!

Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-

But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??

Like he’s done nothing wrong???

You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!

He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.

Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.

“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”

…

….Motherfucker.

☆

Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,

1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!

Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!

Safe Travels Anon,

That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]

Iced coffee?? :0

💀♒

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[madelynraemunson]

𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒. 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌.

you and ex-husband!eddie are called into the school because your daughter punched somebody.

wc: 418 words

it’s a random thursday when you and eddie get called to principal hackett’s office at hawkin’s middle school.

your daughter punched someone. a little boy, to be exact.

“but guys,” aubrey whimpers. “you don’t understand. i can explain.”

“you better have a good explanation,” you snap, angrily placing your hands on your hips. “what did we tell you about keeping our hands to ourselves? you don’t hit people, EVER.”

a ginormous grin spreads across principal hackett’s face. there was something about a munson getting in trouble that gave him the ultimate satisfaction. and the fact that it was happening with the newest generation now too probably sent him on a pleasure high.

“but—” aubrey protests.

“no buts,” eddie scorns. “you listen to your mom and i. AND you got dress coded? what did dad say about leaving the house in a crop top? you’re a minor, you wear them at home only.”

“well when i got dress coded, i was going to change,” aubrey sniffs. “but then bennett carver called me a slut and said that i was asking for it. it being dress coded, but there was still a double meaning. so i punched him.”

your eyes meet eddie’s instantly. there’s a fire in his gaze that emits an anger permittable for prison. he wants to hug aubrey. wants to tell her she did everything right. but there was a show to put on.

“getting dress coded and punching someone tears it, aubs,” eddie huffs. his eyes wander over to yours to see if you’re catching on.

you absolutely are.

“what?!” aubrey exclaims.

“your father is right,” you agree. “now come on. we are pulling you out of school early so you can think about what you did.”

suddenly it clicks in aubrey’s head. she knows she’s not in trouble, and that mom and dad have her back. she could tell that there was so much you and eddie had to lecture her about…it’ll just be at scoops ahoy today! (😋🍦)

“bye bye, aubrey,” principal hackett smirks as you three head on out. “let’s make good choices when we come back, huh?”

“yes sir,” aubrey sighs, issuing a fake pout in the process.

slinging your daughter’s backpack over his shoulder, your ex husband waits until aubrey skips out of earshot to give you his two cents.

“i never liked that kid’s dad anyways,” eddie mutters.

“neither did i,” you shrug in agreement.

and as you two walk out together side by side, proud of the spunky “do no harm, take no shit” badass you raised, both you and eddie issue each other a sneaky, under the belt high-five.

atta girl, aubrey.

in loving memory of aubreigh 💐

divider: @cafekitsune

tag list 🏷️: @highinmiamiii @potatobeans99 @mediocredreams @joshlmbrt @eddiesxangel @enam3l @mmunson86 @davidblowies-blog @thatissonnina @oskea93 @aurora-austen @lesservillain @madeofmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @eddiesghxst @munsonssweets @nailbatanddungeon @swiss-mrs @winchester-angel @belokhvostikova @curlyjoequinn @strangereads @marrowfrog00 @shadyunknowncreation @tuolcaniacoc @catherinnn @prestinalove @pleuviors @cinemabean @calumfmu @littlexdeaths @let-the-music-take-c0ntrol @meetmeatyourworst @b-irock @spencerssatchel @yes2476 @comeonatmebruh @bendoverncry @only4wakingup @wiltinglovers @sweetsweetjellybean

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Closet // Sarah Cameron

request: none

prompts: none

summary: you and sarah have been together for two months, and it’s been perfect. there’s only one catch, she wants to keep it a secret. but what happens when everyone finds out anyways?

warning: homophobia, a hell of a lot of angst, cheating, language, crying, topper says a slur cause he’s an asshole

word count: 1.6k

a/n: routlegde!reader, fem!reader, no physical descriptors of reader

”Don’t you wish we could just stay here like this forever?” Sarah asked, tilting her head to look up at you from where it rested against your chest.

“What do you mean?” you responded, your heart warming at the sight of Sarah in your arms, just the two of you in a hammock in your backyard, away from everyone else. And their judgment.

“Away from the rest of the world. Just us. Where no one can judge us and we’re free to just… be us.”

You smiled, your arms tightening around her. “That sounds perfect.”

The sound of a sudden approaching car yanked the two of you out of the little paradise you had created for yourself. The car engine being a sound you were all too familiar with. The Twinkie. John B was back early. Before either of you had time to react, the sound of four approaching people grew near and it was too late for Sarah to hide. You knew how much your brother and his friends hated the Kooks, and being caught cuddling with one was definitely not going to go over well.

If this had been an entirely different situation, you would've found the expression on your brother’s face hilarious. But as he stood before you looking absolutely flabbergasted, your mind raced in a panic as you tried to figure out what to say. He didn’t even know you were gay, let alone that you were dating the princess of Figure 8. How on earth were you going to explain this?

”Heyyyy… you’re home early,” you said awkwardly. Sarah sat up and pulled away from you, somehow looking even more panicked than you were.

”What the fuck is this?” John B said, looking about as upset as you had expected him to be.

”My… girlfriend,” you said slowly, watching as each word sunk into his head.

“Your girlfriend,” he repeated, an edge of disdain in his voice.

“What? You have a problem with me being gay?”

John B huffed and waved dismissively. “What? No, I don’t care about that. It’s just… you’re dating her?”

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Sarah said, rushing off before you could even respond.

”What’s your problem? So what if my girlfriend is a Kook? What does it matter?”

Sensing the growing tension, JJ quickly butted into the conversation. “I think I should probably go,” he said, turning to walk off, both Kie and Pope muttering something similar and following behind him, not wanting to intrude on what was shaping up to be a very heated conversation between you and your brother.

“What are you thinking? I mean have you thought this through at all? You know how her brother treats us.”

“She’s nothing like Rafe! Are you so closed minded that you can’t even comprehend the fact that she might be different?”

John B sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know exactly what she’s like. A stuck up privileged princess who looks down on us and treats us like we’re nothing. Maybe you just haven’t been around her long enough to see that.”

Your frustration just continued to build inside you until you couldn’t take it anymore, everything you felt exploding out of you. “I love her, okay?! And you can’t say anything about her because I bet you’ve never even had a single conversation with her! Despite what you may think, she is nothing like the other Kooks. She’s kind. And she cares about me. And we were having a great time together until you showed up and scared her off!” Your own words were a shock to you, having never used the word love towards Sarah before. But you knew how you felt, and you knew you meant it.

John B paused at that. “You love her?”

”I do. And if you can’t put this petty rivalry bullshit aside because I’m finally happy, then I guess you’re nothing like I thought you were.”

Your brother’s face softened, your words finally knocking some sense into him. “Does she treat you right?”

A small smile grew on your face, realizing you were finally starting to get through to him. “Yes. She’s so sweet, I’ve never been with someone who cared about me this much before.”

”Good. I’m happy for you.”

”And… the gay thing?” you asked, a hint of nerves beginning to stir in your stomach.

John B smiled, pulling you into a hug. “I had my suspicions.”

”Really? I thought I hid it so well.”

”I kinda figured something was up, considering you’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

You laughed softly. “That’ll do it.”

”So how long have you two been together? I want to hear everything.”

~

It’d been two days since John B found out you and Sarah were dating, and you hadn’t heard from her since. Going from texting everyday to two days of silence was quite a jarring shift, and you were worried that John B might’ve scared her off. You had remembered some beach party she had mentioned she was going to, so you forced John B and his friends to tag along to clear the air, though they weren’t exactly thrilled about the relationship they were playing nice because John B had basically threatened them to, unbeknownst to you.

As soon as you had gotten to the party you started looking for Sarah, but you couldn’t find her anywhere. John B had even started helping you look too but it was starting to seem hopeless. Maybe she didn’t show. You turned to John B, about ready to ask to leave, when you saw him looking more angry than you had ever seen him before.

“What is it?” you asked, turning around to see what he was looking at, your heart shattering when you saw Sarah sitting in Topper’s lap, engaged in what seemed like a very flirty conversation.

Not wanting to deal with the sight a second longer, you stormed off past them, failing to fight off the tears streaming down your face. As you walked past her, Sarah finally noticed you, her eyes widening at how distraught you looked and her heart aching because she knew it was her fault.

“Y/n! Wait!” Sarah called, getting up and running after you.

“What do you want? Clearly these past two months meant nothing to you. What could you possibly have to say to me?”

Everyone standing around you looked shocked at the scene unfolding before them, especially Topper. “Sarah, what is she talking about?”

Sarah looked distressed by all the attention, not wanting to answer the question, so you did it for her. “Sarah and I have been dating for the past two months, and apparently she decided to move on without telling me.”

”Y/n, it’s not what it looks like!”

”Routledge is a dyke?” Topper said, clearly sounding disgusted.

John B stormed over, somehow angrier than he already was. “What the fuck did you just call my little sister?”

”What bro? I’m just calling it like it is.”

John B swung on Topper, punching him in the jaw and knocking him to the ground. You gasped, watching as John B continued punching an almost unconscious Topper.

“B, what are you doing?!”

It took both JJ and Pope to pull him off, not wanting to risk Shoupe showing up at the wrong time, just like he always did. But when Sarah seemed more concerned about Topper than what she did to you, you suddenly couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“I told you not to trust her,” John B shouted, still struggling to get to Topper again, his anger nowhere near diminished.

Stepping closer to Sarah, you couldn’t stop your tears. “How could you? Did you even mean anything you said to me?” Your voice broke as you talked, choking on your tears.

“It’s not like that! I did! It’s just…” Sarah trailed off, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“What?”

”I can’t! I’m not like you! I can’t be gay! I just can’t…”

In that moment, your heart broke all over again. You knew Sarah wanted to keep your relationship hidden, but you had always assumed it was a stupid Kooks vs Pogues thing, not this. She had been hurting inside this whole time, and you were too lovestruck to see it.

“Sarah…”

“I mean, what’re people gonna say? It’s too much. I can’t do it.”

You took her hands in yours, feeling that same spark that appeared every time you touched her, a sad smile on your face.

”You can’t change who you are just because you’re scared people won’t like you. I know it’s hard, but you won’t be happy hiding who you are. You can’t live like that, you’ll be miserable. You are who you are, and no one’s thoughts about that can change it.”

Her tears finally fell. Sarah rested her forehead against yours, savoring the feeling of your touch. She knew you were right, but she was still terrified. The idea of changing how everyone viewed her scared her so much she ran back to her ex, not even thinking about how it would hurt you in the process.

“It’s terrifying…” Sarah whispered, squeezing your hands tighter.

“You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sarah smiled at your words, leaning in to kiss you, suddenly not caring that everyone was watching. With you by her side, she felt like she could do anything.

“What the fuck is this?”

John B groaned. “Shut up Topper!”

tags: @mxqdii

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[aingeal98]

I don't think Damian was insecure because Cassandra was a closer part of the family than he was, especially considering that at that point in time he was wasn't fully invested in being a part of the family as he is now (also lets be real, its not like Cass is the center of the family or anything.)

I think it was more of case of him putting her on a pedestal based on what he heard about her, since her reputation probably made her seem like the ideal version of himself that he was told to aspire to all his life, so he was probably hoping that she was similar to him in some way as a form of self-validation, but when he did meet her it probably made him feel very conflicted since she didn't live up to his exceptions.

So in his mind it probably started out like "I'm supposed to be perfect and Cassandra Cain is already perfect, so she's probably very similar to me and I need to aspire to be more like her, which would be easy since we're already very similar to each other" then when he did meet her it went on to become" "Wait that's Cassandra Cain? But she's nothing like me?! Does that mean I'm not perfect after all and everything I'm doing is wrong? No.....its her who is doing everything wrong" so him butting-heads with her was him grasping at straws since putting her down would be easier than for him to accept that what he was aspiring to become all this time was the wrong image and he didn't want to start from scratch by believing in a new version of the ideal him (which thankfully he did end up doing at the end, he just was unsure if it was really what he wanted for himself at that point.)

Either ways its crazy that this plot-line didn't have any follow ups and no writers tried to have interact with each other again in almost 15 years.

I half agree with this, because I do think that Damian would have put Cass on a pedestal before meeting her. And I feel like part of him would have felt betrayed when they did meet and instead of being someone he could relate to, she was chatting with Dick and Tim and connecting over their shared history. The framing in those panels from Gates of Gotham where the trio are strategising and Damian is sitting away from them watching feels very deliberate. But I do think insecurity plays a role in that. You came to a new country all alone to meet your father but now he's dead and you're stuck with a bunch of older people meant to be your siblings and here comes one who was trained from birth to fight as a league funded project and yet... She clicks with your other siblings more than you? I think it would for sure make Damian feel more insecure even if he wasn't fully invested in becoming a part of the family, and he'd almost feel irrationally betrayed by Cass for not living up to the version he had in his head that was meant to ease said insecurity over this new "family" of his instead of making it worse and making him feel even more alone.

I can definitely see that thought process you describe in his head though. He's a genius technically but he is only ten and if something is wrong then either he's the problem or Cass is the problem, no room yet for emotional complexity. And he refuses to be wrong (similar to a certain sister of his who refuses to lose shhh who said that) so he's just going to have to butt heads with Cass until everyone including her understands that he's right and she's wrong, simple!

We deserved so much more of them working together. Gates of Gotham was a great start and I love that it's forever canon that their first act of sibling bonding was blowing up the batboat together. But we deserved so much more.

[uglypastels]

Caught Me Slippin' | escort!eddie au

(a/n) yes, this fic is based on the Kiss Quotient, and, therefore also Pretty Woman. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll for me to work on this fic. I had a lot of fun with it! So, even though its a bit all over the place, haha, I hope you still like it.

If you want to see more of this fic, please send an ask and we can chat about it but Do Not Ask For Part 2. This is a One Shot.

Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.

Word count: 13.2k

Warnings: SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. dual POV. rich!female!reader. shorter than Eddie. self-consciousness. slight miscommunication - quickly resolved. swearing. drinking. awkwardness. [mention of infidelity, side characters]. non-monogamous relationship. smut. male sex work (obviously). slight dom! Eddie. inexperienced!reader. mentions of bdsm- bondage, sadomasochism. nipple piercings. nipple play. fingering. oral (f receiving). light pussy slapping. Eddie has an innocence kink. I'm probably not representing sex work 100% accurately, but this is [fan]fiction. You should always take it with a grain of salt. + apparently, kind of angsty, idk i guess I'm dead inside.

if you think I'm missing any warnings, please let me know, and I'll add them. if you do not like the sound of any of these- then this is not for you. do not read.

All the errors left unlearned, oh

But I am the luckiest guy

Not the loneliest guy in the world

- David Bowie, The Loneliest Guy

What the hell were you doing? 

Sitting at a bar, which was mistake number two. One of many, for that matter. The third was ordering a drink you knew you wouldn’t drink but had picked when panic swooped over you as the bartender walked up. The red liquid looked quite pretty, but you could smell the alcohol the second the girl put the glass in front of you. An attempt at a sip was made, and you brought it to your lips, but the bitterness overwhelmed you. 

There was one thing you had gotten right, and that was at least picking a bar that wasn’t crowded. The music played at just the right volume, and people kept to themselves, to their booths and their tables. You tried to let your mind wander off, not to overthink– that would only cause more anxiety– but it always went back to what the people around you were talking about. You never meant to be nosy, and you never butted in… but it was entertaining what random strangers had to say to each other.

— You’re shitting me. 

— No, I’m serious. Sarah told me herself. She walked in, and there he was, fucking their pool boy. 

The table behind you erupted in a chorus of gasps. 

— Poor Sarah, though. 

— Yeah, well, she had been sleeping with her yoga instructor. 

How were people so comfortable talking about such things in public? Where everyone could listen in? You almost felt bad for this Sarah that her complicated marriage was being shared with the entirety of this small bar, surely then retold all across the city.

You glanced around you, side to side. The bar counter was quite long, with enough space for eight barstools to stand next to each other. Besides yours, four more were occupied. Having opted for the last chair, you were worried about someone sitting on one of your neighbouring chairs, but luck had been in your favour.

That is, until he showed up. 

Your first, and probably, the biggest mistake that you made that night.

♤

From the second that Eddie sat down beside her, he could tell something was wrong. He always could with such things. As well as assume what might have been the cause of the problem. 

Her eyes widened, nearly doubled in size, as he sat down next to her. He couldn’t have made a mistake; she had sent what she would look like and be wearing, and the description was accurate. She should have known what Eddie would look like as well; that’s basically what the whole selection was based on, look, and yet… the way she stared at him… he had the urge to wave his hand in front of her to make sure she wasn’t going into shock. 

‘Hey,’ instead, he opted for a kind smile as he leaned against the bar, asking for a quick confirmation of her name, and took a moment to take her in properly while she defrosted and returned to reality.  She was cute, to his surprise, definitely not the type he would usually be coming across these nights. Pretty and young, but mostly, shy. The bar was definitely not in her comfort zone, and he had picked up on that the second he noticed het sitting there, back stiff in nerves, drink untouched except for the little straw she stirred around in circles mindlessly. At first, he thought, maybe it’s all an act. The shy and naive girl next door, he was into it, but no. Now he knew better; she was terrified. 

A few seconds later, when his eyes moved back up to her face, she spoke her first words. 

‘Who are you?’

♤

There had been a mistake. There must have been. Whoever the guy sitting next to you was, he was not the guy you had paid for. 

Jesus that sounded so stupid. How could you have been so dumb thinking it was a good idea to hire a guy for the night. As if that would make you feel better, make all your problems disappear. 

The man blinked in confusion. Your reaction had clearly been a surprise. As he stumbled over his words, you took him in quickly. 

Long brown hair fell over his shoulders in messy waves. He had layered up, but not for practicality. You couldn’t see how the leather jacket or the denim vest over a thin t-shirt would help him against the evening cold, not to mention his ribbed jeans. Overall he looked like he had been directly cut out of an 80s rock magazine. Sure, some women must be into that kind of look; you couldn’t even deny he was pretty attractive, but it was not what you had wanted. Not for now. You needed something simple. Comfortable. Easy.

Those large rings and metal chains were most definitely not comfortable. Or simple. Or easy. 

Oh god. 

♤

‘I’m Eddie,’ he stated, hoping it would clear something up, but her confused stare didn’t falter. ‘Didn’t you book…’ Eddie knew all the people around him were poking their noses into everyone’s business, so he tried to pick his words wisely, ‘... the appointment?’ Fuck, did he walk up to the wrong girl? He knew it would have been too good to be true to get an actual girl his age. People always lied on these forms. He was ready to apologise and walk away, but she answered. 

‘I did.’ Her eyes wavered again over him. ‘But not you. There must have been some kind of mistake, I–’ 

‘Is everything good here?’ The bartender walked up, towel across her shoulder, her piercing blue eyes digging right through Eddie. Her question had been directed at the girl, and she nodded quickly. 

‘All good, just a little misunderstanding.’ 

‘Alright then,’ The bartender sent Eddie another suspicious look before heading to the other side of the counter to take another order. This was fucking fantastic. Yeah, just great. 

♤

‘Ok, so who did you think you were meeting?’ Eddie asked when the woman behind the bar walked away, slightly backing away from you, letting his shoulders fall.

You tried to remember the name of the guy who caught your attention last evening. Would the name mean anything to Eddie? You didn’t expect all these guys to hang around together...

‘Shit, yeah, ok, that makes sense.’ You could see all the puzzle pieces coming together behind his eyes. ‘He’s out on a date tonight as well. They must have sent us each other’s… wait,’ he quickly grabbed his phone. 

♤

Eddie searched through his emails. It didn’t take long to ignore the few spam messages he had gotten since this morning. And there it was. The booking confirmation he had received. Having gotten them so often, he had read it on autopilot, not even realising that his own name was missing. All he had needed, he thought, was his client’s information. But there it was, literally the first two words of the email: Dear Steve… 

Oh, the office would have a field day with this. 

But some of him also could not wait to ask Steve how his date went. 

♤

‘Yeah, they fucked it up,’ after a few seconds, Eddie had turned his phone around to show you an email. Even though you only needed the first two words to understand the mistake that occurred, you took the time to read as much of it as possible to make sure it was real. From what you could tell, it seemed legit. Just what business operated solemnly through emails… and apparently, not even automated ones. 

‘I’m really sorry for the inconvenience,’ Eddie apologised as he pulled his phone back and placed it into his pocket. ‘I can call the office and get you a refund. I promise you that this is usually nothing of the standard we usually operate at.’ You appreciated his professionalism. Despite never thinking you were that judgemental, perhaps you had actually judged him a bit too harshly at first glance. And he was quite attractive… 

‘No, wait,’ you stopped him before he could dial the number of his boss, or whoever was in charge. ‘Uhm… did your… friend… send you something? About his date?’ Steve was now, of course, also on the wrong job. Eddie looked up at you for a second, before glancing down again at his phone to check his notifications. 

‘No, haven’t heard anything from him. I guess the other person didn’t seem to care which one of us they got.’ he chuckled, which surprised you. Did other people not care about who they slept with? You get to pick a person for a reason, don’t you? 

‘I don’t need a refund.’ You stated after a short moment. Eddie glanced up once more.

‘Are you sure? It’s a lot of money–’ 

‘No, I mean, I would like to continue the night… with you.’ This was, for sure, getting out of your comfort zone, right? Being adventurous, getting a life, all that shit your friends nagged you about for years. Eddie smiled with the corner of his mouth. 

‘Alright then, would you like to get out of here?’ 

‘Yes, please,’ you let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the volume in the space picked up quite a lot as more people entered, drowning out your conversation, but it was getting a bit too much for you. ‘Just… one minute.’ you stood up, heading to the bathroom, but Eddie called your attention for one more second. 

‘You forgot your purse.’ he looked down at the ground where your bag was lying. You gave him an awkward smile and picked it up before making your way to the back of the bar.

Closing the stall door behind you, you wished for some decent internet; thankfully, it wasn’t the worst. You didn’t bother trying to be quick about it. There was no doubt in your mind that he knew you were looking him up online. With shaking hands, you typed in the name of the agency where you had found Steve. They had a list of all their “models”, as they nicely labelled them, and you scrolled through them. There was the guy you had planned on spending the night with. You had picked him because he looked sweet, and hot, obviously, but with enough cockiness thrown in the mix to tell you he knew what he was doing. And the little sales pitch the website had written up for him to sell the fantasy worked well. You didn’t bother rereading it now, but it was something to do with “the sweet jock that knows how to take care of his girl”. It was extremely cheesy, you were more than aware of that, but cheesy was good. It was safe. 

Your friends would have probably laughed at you. 

They probably would have picked out a guy like Eddie. 

Speaking of the guy waiting for you at the bar, you found his profile. First thing first, the picture. That was definitely him; you recognised the unruly dark hair and brown eyes. He had several photos posted in his profile, like most of the men on the website, and they were of semi-professional quality: self-taken, but with a very nice camera and lighting. He had put effort into his presentation. First, there was the portrait, showing his handsome face, shirtless but cropped to the shoulder, revealing enough of the silver chain around his neck but not showing what was actually hanging off it. 

The following picture was a full-body pose, with clothes on that were not significantly different from the ones he was wearing now. No denim vest, but a different leather jacket on top of a black shirt. Dark denim jeans with a belt, buckled by what looked like to be steel handcuffs… had he been wearing that tonight as well? 

Your throat tightened up as you swiped to the next post, which was, of course, the obligatory nude. All the “models” had to have them, since that was basically what people paid for. If it wasn’t for the fact that the site saw itself as one of the “classier” agencies out there, the naked pictures would have been the only ones available. You, for one, appreciated the variety. 

Eddie was posed on a bed, on his knees. With one hand in his hair, and the other over his thigh, he didn’t leave anything to the imagination. Despite not even looking at the camera, the smug smile on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing. He got you looking, and he knew you liked it. Yet, what you couldn’t stop looking at were the tattoos that covered his pale skin. Dozens of them, at least, varying in size and style, covering most of his arms, upper legs, ribs…

You scrolled on, remembering he was still waiting for you outside, but the next picture didn’t make anything better. 

It had been a session shot. You had stumbled across similar ones on your initial look at the website. The men posing out the act of some kind of intercourse. Different positions, different actions, whatever described their style in the profession. For Eddie, that included the shot of a naked woman in bed, the same bed in which he had taken the previous picture. Her limbs were spread apart, tied to the bed corners. Her eyes were covered with a black and white bandana, and the rest of the features tightened in bliss as Eddie was positioned between her legs. His mouth was right at her core. If that wasn’t enough, he had put some props up on display next to the woman; some extra handcuffs, a vibrator and what you assumed to be a flogger. 

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

♤

She returned after a few minutes, and Eddie could immediately tell his assumption was right. The poor thing couldn’t look him in the face. She sat back down on the barstool, holding onto her purse, lip between her teeth and eyes on anything but him. Yeah, she had looked him up. 

In all honesty, he thought it was a good thing. He didn’t care for people who didn’t do their research into things. Saying that, as quite a spontaneous person, you couldn’t jump into things head first all the time. Sometimes, it was important to test the waters. Make sure there were no sharks swimming around.

‘I paid for your drink,’ Eddie remembered. She looked at him, stunned. 

‘Oh, you really didn’t have to.’ Did she seem apologetic? 

‘Please, its the least I can do, for, you know, being the wrong guy and all.’ He smiled, hoping she would return the favour. The corner of her mouth curved up the smallest amount, still quite unsure of the situation. 

‘Really, I–’ she was ready to get her wallet, most likely pay him back, but Eddie stopped her by placing his hand over hers. That made her freeze, look back up at him. Eddie felt two pairs of eyes on him. Hers, and the bartender behind him, most definitely reassessing the whole situation. Everything about this evening was going to shit. He could probably wave his perfect 5-star rating goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but he for sure as hell was not going to get put on any registers tonight. However, trying to seduce a stranger into bed with him when he is so clearly not the type for this girl… why was he even trying so hard?

He didn’t like using the term “vanilla”, it got too much of a bad rep, but that is what she seemed to be. Her clothes weren’t flashy, not even considering for “outgoing”. She wasn’t the type to go out and hook up, let alone get an escort. He wasn’t surprised she had decided to go for a guy like Steve. But Steve wasn’t here; Eddie was. He now had the job of taking care of this girl in any way she wanted him to.

‘Ok, shall we?’ She took a deep breath as she got up. 

‘Are you–’ maybe they should talk about this? He didn’t want her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. 

‘C’mon,’ next thing he knew, she grabbed Eddie by the wrist and whisked him off the barstool, dragging him along outside. It was early in the year, but late in the evening. The air was crispy, and the wind blew harshly. Eddie had definitely not dressed warm enough for the night, but that would have been an understatement for her. She would freeze in a few minutes. 

‘I got a room in the hotel just across the corner,’ she spoke, rather determined. Some people might have mistaken it for confidence, but Eddie saw the other signs. Her clenched jaw, her consistent avoidance of eye contact… she was putting on a brave face. And that’s how people get into situations they don’t want to be in. 

If it had been warmer, he would have stopped them on the street, but he had to get her out of the cold, so he let the girl drag him across the sidewalk to the hotel's entrance. It was big. The warm lighting reflecting off of all the decor, giving it a golden glow. 

She did not stop walking until they reached the elevator. She clicked the button, and the arrow above the doors pointed down. The numbers slowly descended from 14. 

‘I know you looked me up.’ Eddie started, having no idea how to introduce the topic fluently. 

‘Ok.’ She was biting her lip nervously. 

‘So I know you know what my usual gig is.’ They both watched the numbers go down. 7… 6… 

‘So we’re on the same page.’ She glanced up at him; he could see it in the reflection of the metal doors. 

‘I don’t think we are.’ The elevator pinged open as Eddie said so. They walked inside. 

‘What do you mean?’ She finally looked him in the eye, only momentarily, but he saw that some of her fear slowly faded as she pressed the button to her floor. 15. 

‘That, yes, I usually am pretty rough with my clients,’ he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, but could anyone blame him? He enjoyed his work. ‘But that’s because they want me to be rough.’ He looked at her intensely. Not to intimidate her, but to show her the seriousness of his words. ‘I don’t do anything that you don’t want me to do. You paid for an evening with… well, not me, but it’s all the same. If you get your money’s worth from a good pounding, I’m more than happy to oblige. From cuddling and watching a movie? All fine by me.’ 

♤

It’s all the same. 

But it wasn’t, was it? They weren’t all the same. 

‘What about you?’ you asked just as the elevator opened on your floor. Eddie let you walk through first. Now, you couldn’t look away from him, letting your head almost spin around a whole 360 to get your glance at him. 

‘What about me?’ He had his hands in his pockets. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be anything scary about him. His hair was soft. His jacket, while not exactly winter-weather proof, looked cozy. The patches on his vest were hand sawn. With an image of him sitting at home, sewing them on, one by one, you got a sudden urge to ask about them, but who did that? Surely, in your situation, questions like that were out of bounds. 

‘What do you like?’ 

‘That doesn’t matter,’ he chuckled, which confused you. 

‘Doesn’t it? I might not be the most knowledgeable about the whole sex thing, but… shouldn’t both people involved be getting off? Doesn’t that make it better?’ You had reached your door. Weirdly, from having focused on the conversation as you walked, you didn’t feel any nerves unlocking the door. The room was dark, and you switched the light on. The nerves still didn’t bubble up. You could do it.

‘I suppose so– wait, you’re not a virgin, are you?’ 

You shook your head no. 

‘Ok. not that there is anything wrong with that. Everyone’s living life at their own pace, I just don’t feel comfortable with that kind of responsibility. No one’s first time should be with….’ 

‘A professional?’ you raised your eyebrow, suggesting a possibly more classy term for what he wanted to say. 

‘Nice.’ He smiled, and made his way over to the bed. You watched him get comfortable on the edge as you took off your light jacket. Your arms were freezing from the cold air outside, but the hotel room was cosy. Not to mention, the nerves were heating you up once more by the second. This was it. Eddie spread his legs wide, almost calling for your eyes to look at his thighs and how they stretched the material of the jeans. 

When your eyes moved back up to his face, you were terrified to see that he was staring right back at you, devouring you with his gaze. He definitely saw you checking him out. But it was becoming harder to concentrate when you looked at how his large hand grazed over the faint stubble on his face. 

‘C’mere,’ he said with a nod, and thoughtlessly, you followed his order. Eddie took you by both hands once you were close enough and placed them on his shoulders, then let his hands settle on your waist. His eyes found yours for a quick check. When you gave him the green light with a smile, he immediately mirrored it and asked: ‘what were your plans for this magical evening?’ He briefly tightened his grip on you and kept moving his hands up and down lightly as you tried to respond. As if that wasn’t hard enough with his eyes staring deep into you. 

‘No, uhm, nothing special.’ You didn’t need special. Special meany complicated, and you just needed someone to help you out with the basics. 

‘Making it special is kind of my one job, you know,’ he pulled you in for a hug so that his face was only a few inches away from your stomach. His arms now enveloped your frame, hands comfortably positioned over your ass. A complete stranger was hiking up the hem of your shirt, touching your bare skin underneath it. ‘So, what is it that you want?’ When he pulled up enough of your shirt to actually reveal the skin underneath, he placed a soft kiss on your side. That feeling alone felt electric. He kept on leaving fluttering kisses over your middle. It was a strange sensation as well as a pleasing one. So simple, and yet it had a great effect that you couldn’t quite explain. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to concentrate on Eddie’s question as his kisses continued. What did you want from this night? But should you tell him the complete truth? Wasn’t there some way to avoid the embarrassing details? Then again… how could he ever help you with your needs if he didn’t know what they were?

‘I want…’ you gasped lightly when his teeth grazed your skin. For some reason, that pushed you over the edge to just put everything you worried about out there. You were already here, in this hotel room, with him. Fuck it. 

♤

‘I want you to help me be good at sex.’ 

Eddie didn’t mean to stop. He saw in her reaction that that had been the wrong thing to do. She must have seen his widened eyes and taken it for judgement, while really, it had just been a small surprise. He wasn’t exactly used to people asking him to teach them how to have sex. 

‘Sorry, uhm, nevermind. Just ignore me.’ She scratched at her neck while looking away. That won’t do. Eddie had to fix this before they would do anything else. 

‘No, wait. Let’s… let’s talk this through for a moment.’ He led her by the hand and let her sit on the bed next to him. ‘Get comfortable. Is there anything in the minibar?’ he noticed the small fridge in the closet across the room and hoped she would understand his question to ask permission to use the service provided in the room. 

‘Go ahead, take anything you want.’ 

‘Living large, are we?’ He cocked his brow before making his way over to the minibar. The selection of drinks was quite understated for a place like they were in. two cheap beers, a small bottle of champagne and two sodas. From what he had gathered at the bar, she didn’t seem to be a big drinker, so he grabbed a beer and a soda can. ‘Here.’

‘Oh, thanks.’ She didn’t look up at him as she took the can from him. Fuck, what was she embarrassed for? He doubted she would speak up in the conversation by herself, so just started out with a question. ‘Why do you think you need help with sex?’ She said she wasn’t a virgin, so she’s had experience. With a glance at her hands, he saw no ring or sign of regular wear of one. That, of course, didn’t exclude the option of a boyfriend or a partner. Maybe even a guy she just wanted to impress. The possibilities were endless, and for some strange reason, at the thought of her having sex with someone else, a strange feeling started gnawing at Eddie’s guts. 

‘Because I’ve had sex a few times and so far it’s been awful.’ She sighed. ‘But I know that, to get better at it, I would have to go and endure endless dates to find a guy who would want to sleep with me, but then what if I do meet a great guy but just put him off because I’m shit in the sack?’

‘Don’t you believe that, if you did really find the right guy, he would help you? Or not even mind your alleged lack of skills “in the sack”?’ Eddie asked, taking a sip of beer. She just looked at him with a look that told him everything. Right. Men are egoistic scum. She had a point.

‘Sorry, you must think I’m insane.’  She tapped on the top of the can. The metal ticking sounded hollow in the quiet room. 

‘I really don’t.’ If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a moral spine, he would have happily told her about some of his other clients. 

‘Yeah, but I’m just wasting your time talking your ears off with absolute nonsense,’ she tried to laugh at it, lessen the tension. 

Eddie leaned over the bed on his elbow. ‘Don’t you know that escorts are the new therapists?’ 

‘Wasn’t that bartenders?’

‘I brought you your drink, didn’t I? Call it a 2-for-1 combo deal.’ He put his beer in the air for a toast and took another sip. ‘And I was serious earlier. You already paid for the whole night, so I’m all yours, sweetheart’ He hoped that didn’t sound dismissive. The last thing he wanted to do (again) was to upset or offend this girl, who genuinely looked and seemed amazing. The idea of her not being able to find someone for herself, having to go down the process of finding someone like him to make her feel good… 

‘Are all the guys at your agency this nice?’ she looked up from the lip of her can, bringing his mind back into the room.

‘No, Steve is a giant dick,’ Eddie laughed.

‘Right, while you have one,’ she teased.

‘Ha. Funny.’ He pointed at her in appreciation before taking a sip of the beer. ‘But I suppose you’re not wrong.’ She had seen his pictures; she knew what he had in stock. He wondered what she thought of it– sure, she might not have been ready for his regular repertoire, but that didn’t mean “never”.  But what he wanted to know the most, which felt like the biggest surprise, was what did she think of him? For the first time since he started this gig, he wondered what she thought of his appearance. Did she like his tattoos? Was his hair too long, maybe? Were his clothes too shabby? Perhaps it was because she had not actually picked him. She had chosen Steve.

Oh, Stevie. They couldn’t be more different. 

‘Are you sure you’re ok with me… being here?’

♤

‘I am.’ You didn’t know what else to reply to that question. Of course, the night was not going anything like you had expected. Until two hours ago, you were planning to have some alright sex with, what you could describe as a “regular hot guy”. Instead, you were on the bed, fully clothed, drinking a coke next to a Metallica reject. Was it too late to still do any of the things you had initially paid for, or was the mood entirely ruined? Did people recover from going into highly personal and dramatic tangents in front of the escort they had hired? 

‘Ok, cool. Just… making sure. Fair warning, I might do that a few more times through the night.’ The idea of still having an entire night to spend with Eddie made you really happy. Even if you didn’t know what to do with him in this small room. With a large king-sized bed in the middle, and not much else but the essential hotel decor, the room was perfect for exactly the reason you had booked it and not much else.

Just as you thought it was getting a bit too quiet between the two of you and had wanted to speak up with a question, Eddie opened his mouth to say something as well. So you also simultaneously apologised and let the other person say their piece. 

‘No, go ahead,’ you nudged him. Whatever he had to say would probably lead the conversation better.

‘I was just wondering, when you said “help be good with sex”, which aspect are we talking about here? Just regular? Oral? Foreplay? Like, what are we talking about here?’

‘Uhm, pretty much everything.’ You winced at yourself. So far, all your attempts at intercourse had been not great. It always felt awkward and uncomfortable. The guys would get what they were there for and didn’t feel the need to wait around for more. And if it kept on happening, then the math was simple, wasn’t it? Just look at what the overlapping factor was in all the situations. It was eventually your friends one night, after a few bottles of wine, who suggested the idea of just hiring a guy to teach you what to do. It would be so much easier. No feelings, and they know what they are doing. Foolproof plan. 

And somehow, you still managed to make things complicated and weird. 

♤

‘Now see, I don’t believe that,’ Eddie smiled. There was no way she didn’t know how to do anything. Especially since most of it was just pure instinct. There is a reason why people call it “messing around”, and it’s not because of any guide or formula that one should be working off of to get it right. 

‘Well, then you should ask the other guys.’ Again with that little smile, trying to undermine her own feelings. 

‘No, fuck them. I bet they didn’t even make you cum.’ He accused. Her lack of response was enough of an answer. Eddie could bet his entire wage that she thought it was her fault they didn’t get her to climax and that… that actually pissed him off. How often had he had his clients tell him how their husbands, the men supposed to take care of them, never bothered to fulfil their one simple and honestly fucking delicious duty? A thought sparked in his mind, and he couldn’t keep back the grin that sprouted up with it. 

‘What?’ she asked at the sight of his smile. 

‘Have you ever?’

‘Ever what?’

‘Had a climax?’ 

‘Oh,’ the way she got shy talking about it, to Eddie’s embarrassment, turned him on. The best thing was they didn’t even have to play pretend. ‘I mean, I think?’

‘You think?’ He raised an eyebrow. 

‘Yeah, sorry,’ she cleared her throat, ‘Uhm… I’ll just be right back.’ And having said that, she ran to the bathroom. 

As she closed the door, Eddie pondered on the idea of undressing. It would speed things up, possibly breaking the icy wall that closed her off. With one naked person in the room, it was hard to think about much else, which meant less to worry about. But he didn’t think she would actually appreciate it. No, she needed to take it slow. And he would happily guide her through it all. 

♤

You splashed some cold water in your face. There had been no reason for you to run out of the room like that except for being a total chicken. The way Eddie was so open and comfortable, talking about all of that… brought out a new fear in you. One you didn’t know you had. One you couldn’t even identify. You just knew you had to get out from under his gaze. Those big brown honey-glazed eyes. 

Why the hell did you leave the room? He was sitting so close to you. Your legs were nearly touching. He still sat with his legs spread, basically inviting you to get between them. And what do you do? Run away. 

You splashed some more water onto your face. 

There wasn’t much makeup on your face to begin the night, and whatever you had left of your mascara and blush was wiped off with the towel you grabbed. One more look in the mirror to ensure no grey ink streaks down your cheeks, and you were ready to get out again. 

Just one big breath in. and out. 

The bathroom door handle moved silently, and you pulled the door open to be met with Eddie’s chest. He was standing right in front of you. 

‘Oh, hi.’ 

‘Hey, just wanted to make sure you were ok in there.’ He knocked on the door frame in a delayed manner for extra effect. Knock knock. You noticed he had taken off his vest and jacket. Just in his t-shirt now. The sleeves ended right at his biceps, revealing the sleeves of tattoos he hid underneath all those removed layers. 

‘So are you alright?’ he asked when you didn’t respond to what he had said earlier. The question pulled your thoughts out of the clouds and your head up to look him in the eye. 

‘Yeah, yeah, just…’ your mouth was extremely dry. One more second and no words would be leaving it ever again. It was just gonna have to come out now. Then, with a quick exhale,  you admitted. ‘I’ve never had an orgasm.’ From Eddie’s reaction, it didn’t seem to have been any news to him. Like it was the most normal conversation, which, given his job, it probably was. You tried to ignore the thought of him and the many women he must have helped. 

‘Well, I would be more than honoured to change that for you.’ He took a step forward, and the proximity forced you to look up at him to see his eyes. 

‘Is that a rehearsed line?’ Apparently, your one outburst of truth led to the pandora’s box in your brain, and now you couldn’t shut up, saying the first thing that came to your mind. And unfortunately, it was still filled with the images of him with other people; him making all of them feel ecstatic. 

Luckily, Eddie laughed at your presumption. His head tilted back, and when it came back down, and his eyes were once again locked in with yours, his lips pulled up into a smirk. One of his hands found its way up to your cheek before he leaned in. you were ready for him to kiss you, but instead, his breath lingered over your skin. So close that you should have been able to touch him, and maybe you did. Because there was something that made your mind a thick haze, impossible to navigate through. Everything spun around you except for Eddie.

‘So what if I did rehearse it?’ his words hit your jaw as he hovered over you, then whispering directly into your, he asked: ‘What if I’ve already planned 10 different ways in which I want to make you writhe underneath me? Would you mind that?’ Would you mind? 

Whatever for? 

In a shaky breath, you spoke the only thing you could think of at the moment. 

‘Kiss me.’ 

♤

Eddie didn’t need to be told twice. 

He must have been grinning like an idiot, and he could only hope it didn’t put her off as he brought their lips together and kissed her. Deeply. Passionately. 

The hair around her face was slightly wet, as was her jaw, telling him she had just spent the last minute splashing water in her face. She tasted sweet, like the coke she had been drinking earlier. 

Her hand crept up to his collar, shyly grabbing at it and pulling it down, revealing the slightest inch of the tattoo on his clavicle. Not that she would see it, having closed her eyes the second their lips connected. 

Eddie let one of his hands find its way back to her waist. Holding on to each other, they stumbled back onto the bed. She let out a whimper as Eddie’s knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell backwards, taking her right down with him. 

It was a slow tear-away, leaving both in a haze. Eddie watched her sit up straight, straddling him and keeping him locked. If she moved, she would feel how hard he was getting. 

‘I assume kissing was not on the agenda of the lesson?’ He brushed some of his hair out of his face. 

‘Well, if you have any tips–’ she tugged at the bottom of her shirt. A nervous habit, probably, but all Eddie could think about was how he wanted that material as far away from her as possible. 

‘You’re joking, right?’ She must have been. The kiss, though brief, had been… he felt alive after it. His chest was tight as he caught his breath. ‘Fuck, c’mere.’ He pulled her right back. It might have only been one kiss, but it had been more than enough for him. He was already hooked. 

♤

His lips were slightly chapped, but not in any way to make you feel uncomfortable. Nothing that some chapstick before going out into the cold couldn’t solve. You could smell the bitter beer he had just drank, and despite the drink having been cooled, it brought a warmth out in you. This heat swam over your cheeks and the parts of you that he held close. His hands were now back to playing with your shirt. The material was creeping up over your stomach, up up up…

♤

‘Can you take your shirt off first, please?’ she asked nervously once the second kiss parted. Her small voice sent sparks flying down Eddie’s body, directly to his dick.

‘Yeah, ‘course.’ All he could do was smile. She shuffled down his legs to give him space and remove the shirt. There was no way she didn’t feel how tight he was getting in his trousers, but she didn’t show any reaction to it, eyes focused on his chest. Eddie looked down at himself. He had almost forgotten about those. 

‘You have piercings?’ 

He kept on forgetting to update his pictures on the website. It was such a hassle. Taking the time to plan it all in, preferably with someone else, so he could have some action shots. There was the editing, and then he would have to send them into the office so someone could actually upload them… he just couldn’t be bothered. As much as he was meant to keep his clients aware of what they were paying for, it was selfish of him to love their surprised reactions. Just now, the way her eyes immediately locked in on them in surprise. How her hand lightly fought against reaching for him. 

‘You can touch them. It doesn’t hurt.’ He took her hand and placed it right over his chest. She immediately regained control over her body, and her finger lightly traced over the silver bar. Eddie’s body tightened for a second in bliss. ‘See? It feels fucking good, actually.’ He hadn’t meant to whisper the words out or for them to be so shaky. It was supposed to be a light joke to keep the tension away, yet it pulled the atmosphere down to something intense and sultry. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare her away.

But she smiled and leaned in again for a featherlight kiss. Fuck, she could kiss. It was like a gift from the gods themselves. A little piece of heaven. If this was how she kissed every guy, Eddie couldn’t comprehend how they didn’t line up for more. And then her hand kept moving, slowly tracing the ink on his body. Her fingernails grazed over the drawings. Perhaps it was a placebo, but he had always considered the tattoos to be more sensitive than the rest of him. The soft touches made him shake in need of her. 

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked, nearly out of breath, mind spiralling with everything he wanted to do to her. He couldn’t keep it in a straight line anymore. Meanwhile, he was supposed to be the professional here. Meanwhile, she expected him to teach her… he was absolutely fucked. 

And then her following words only made his situation worse. 

‘Just tell me what to do, Eddie.’ Somehow, he missed the exact moment when her lips travelled down to his jaw. It must have been some kind of joke– there was no way this incredible woman did not know what she was doing. 

‘Fuck, baby.’ He groaned. He actually groaned. Eddie never did that during his sessions. It just wasn’t something he thought he could do with his clients. It turns out he had never been this turned on by any of them.

It made sense. How often did he think up hour scenarios before meeting the ladies? How often did he imagine he was with someone else? He had thought that maybe, because of the rules of his job and the frequency of his sessions, that maybe sex just wasn’t really anything for him. Not that he didn’t enjoy his job or regretted ever going into the business… money was good, and he was good at what he did. Yet, it was still a job. And jobs could often tire a person out. Maybe he had become desensitised to it all. 

But this proved all of his theories wrong. He was entirely in the moment. Aware of everything that was happening between him and her. Nothing between them was new, or necessarily exciting, and yet it felt like nothing he had felt before. Nothing but kissing sent him down a road he could never return from. 

And now she wanted him to tell her what to do. Yes, in the teaching context, he understood. But was she even aware that this would not be that far from the ordinary things he did in his sessions if they had just removed that context? Just add in some leather and handcuffs. 

‘Take your clothes off, baby.’ He spoke softly, not wanting to roll back into his regular role. This wasn’t that, he reminded himself. He didn’t want it to be that. 

When she started to pull her shirt up, he quickly took over. ‘No, wait, go slower. Take your time.’ Fuck, please take your time, he internally cried out. He didn’t want this night to end. It all felt like a dream, and he didn’t want to get dressed and wake up. He didn’t want to leave because once he did, coming back was not an option for him. 

♤

You followed his instruction, slowly pulling your shirt over your head. Focusing on him. Looking at him prevented you from getting too much into your head. After all, it was hard to think or worry about anything with someone like him, half-naked, under you. You traced his tattoos. They were all black and white, the ink scratchy and uneven on most as if done at home.

Not precisely stick and poke, but not from a studio either. A pull at your heartstrings made you think of how much money you had paid. How much he needed that money… See, hard to think of your own insecurities when looking at him.

Eddie moved up to lean on his elbow. You were sitting still for too long; he must have sensed something was off. With a gentle touch, he stroke your bare skin. You were both shirtless, though you still had your bra on; his hand was sneakily moving up to the strap over your back, ready to unclasp it.

‘What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart.’ It must be some kind of trick he was pulling, something he learned over his experience on the job because of the way your whole body fluttered at the sound of the little nickname… it must be a trick. But there was nothing you could complain about either. 

Once again, your mouth worked faster than your brain, and before you could tell yourself to shut up, you answered with the first question that came to your mind. ‘Do you do anything else… besides this?’ a second later, before he even had the time to react, you butted in with your own response. ‘That is probably way out of bounds. Sorry–’ 

‘Only a little bit,’ he was taking it lightly with a chuckle. Clearly, with no intention of stopping what the two of you had been doing, he littered your jaw and neck with kisses between his answer. ‘I’m in a band. But garage gigs don’t exactly pay the bills.’ You felt him tremble with a laugh against your neck. Eddie had by then sat up and kept you in place on his lap with a tight hold. As he kept kissing you, you let your body speak for itself, closing your eyes and trusting your instincts. Somehow you knew what felt right and what didn’t. Your hips moved of their own accord, grinding against Eddie. You tried not to think about what you were doing, knowing you would just start to freak out and freeze. Instead, you thought of Eddie on stage with his band, imagining him in all the different positions, trying to figure out which instrument fit him best. 

As if he could read your mind, he said, ‘I play guitar.’ His hand had now officially made its mark on your bra, grabbing the backstrap, and wringing it until it unclasped.

‘That’s hot.’

‘Yeah?’ The bra snapped open. Eddie took it upon himself to slide the straps off your arms. You threw the item off to the side of the room, and Eddie didn’t waste a second to bring his attention to your breast.

♤

Had no one ever touched her properly?

All that Eddie did was kiss her tits, and she was almost coming undone. He felt a pang of terrible guilt on behalf of his entire sex. How the fuck did no one make her feel good… not only that. How did men make her feel as if she was the problem? That she had to step her game up and learn. If he ever got his hands on one of those assholes– woah. Calm down. 

♤

‘Yeah,’ you gasped out the small word. ‘So- so hot.’ It was hard to keep a sentence straight when he had his full attention on your nipples.

One preoccupying his lips, while the other was cupped by his large hand. He was rough in his touches, pulling and squeezing, but not in any way that felt too much. On the contrary, you needed more. More of him. 

He switched from one breast to the other in his movements. Then when he pulled away, he kissed you again. Then, he looked you in the eyes, a false seriousness covering his features. 

‘So, let that be lesson one: foreplay. Extremely important before any kind of sex.’ 

‘But… I didn’t do anything?’ You blinked. It was true, wasn’t it? He had been doing most of the work; meanwhile, you hadn’t done anything for him. But Eddie frowned.

‘Oh, baby, you did plenty.’ His hand reached down to his own trousers. ‘You feel this?’ When you hesitated, he took your hand to guide it over his crotch, where you could clearly feel the outline of his dick. ‘Yeah, that’s all you, sweetheart.’ He was so cocky, so confident. 

He kept on talking. ‘And let me ask you one more question.’ For this, he leaned in to almost whisper the words against your hot skin. ‘Are you wet?’ 

‘I don’t know.’ 

Eddie clicked his tongue in disapproval. ‘I think you do know, but let me check then, hmm?’ You weren’t sure how he did it, but he brought you underneath his body in one fell swing. You were now lying on the bed, and he slid down to sit on his knees at the end of the bed. ‘Professional opinion and all, right?’ 

‘Right.’ You hid your face in your hands to laugh. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

Eddie reached for your hands, making you look down at him. 

‘I wanna see your pretty face.’ But, God, speaking of pretty faces, his smile might have been one of the most beautiful sights in the world. He could have been a model, probably… and yet… 

You didn’t want to look at him, however, when he started unzipping your trousers. The button opened up, and you heard the zipper move down, releasing the tension of the material around your waist. Eddie tapped your hip, telling you to move them up. Once you did so, with one big tug, he pulled the pants down to the middle of your thighs with one big tug. It took him three more to get them off entirely. The next second, the trousers were in the corner of the room, along with your shirts. 

‘Oh, baby,’ his syllables were long, dramatic, playful. ‘You are fucking soaking through these.’ You felt your back stiffen at the feeling of his fingers on you. Two, his pointer and middle fingers, slowly tracing down over the thin cotton. Then he’d roll them back up, letting his knuckles press the slit.

‘Fuck, can’t wait to taste you– can I taste you, baby?’ He asked, eyes pleading you for it. 

‘You don’t have to,’ you responded. The air in the room seemed to be turning colder and sent shivers over your arms. 

‘I know I don’t have to.’ Eddie scoffed, teasing. ‘Let that be lesson two then: if a guy doesn’t want his mouth near your pussy, then you shouldn’t come anywhere near his dick.’ He growled out the last words, and his hand had such a tight grip on your panties, that, with one quick move, he tore the material in two. 

♤

‘Eddie!’ she shouted. 

‘Shit, sorry.’ He got too carried away in everything. ‘I’ll pay you back.’ That’s when he glanced down; it was like his memory was instantly wiped. ‘Oh, fuck yes. Fuck you got the cutest pussy I’ve ever seen.’ He left a kiss a few inches above it and slowly made his way down. His fingers returned to the slow up-and-down motion he had done before, and each time, he let himself go deeper. Her body tensed up, and breathing hitched in her throat until it came out in a soft moan. 

‘That’s right,’ Eddie said before one last kiss on the most crucial spot. And this kiss lasted. After a few seconds, he practically made out with her clit, as his fingers entered her.

That is when her hand reached for his hair. The touch was enough to make him moan against her. 

‘Oh fuck,’ she moaned loud, eyes tightly shut in pleasure. Keeping his fingers deep within her, Eddie mused:

‘That’s right, baby. Does it feel good?’

‘So good.’ She dug her nails through his hair, nudging him on to continue whatever he was doing. 

♤

Even though you had not meant to pull at his hair, it was all much more of an impulsive action, Eddie groaned out against. He pulled you in closer, sending the vibrations from his body right through yours. 

You had expected, thinking up this plan of hiring someone to teach you sex, that it would be much more formal. That the guy would give you step-by-step instructions on how to do things, tell you everything directly, and you would follow. Maybe that is how it would be with anyone else, but with Eddie, he made you feel it. Without saying a word, you knew how to listen to him. Through his reactions, you knew what to do. His moans encouraged you to pull his hair, to close your thighs around him. Meanwhile, your response spurred him to go, let his fingers move harder, his tongue slick deeper through you. 

‘Fuck, Eddie, fuck.’ You felt that feeling inside you, the build-up. It wasn’t familiar, for you had only experienced it very few times, mostly on your own. This tension deep within you. It grew, quickly reaching its tipping point. 

Eddie’s free hand fastened itself onto your leg; he seemed to have lost himself in you. Then his eyes moved up, locking right with yourself. A part of you wanted to take a picture of what you saw in front of you and cherish the memory forever. His honey-brown eyes glazed in need of you. This spark of all-knowing deviltry. 

Your whole body tightened as you felt it coming, tighter and tighter, like a rubber band ready to snap.

But instead, Eddie let go of the band as he pulled away from you to accompany your last moan of his name.

A whimper left your mouth, and pleads were ready to follow it, begging him to not stop. Not now. Just a few more seconds. 

‘Lesson number three,’ he wiped his mouth– which was glistening in the room's warm light– with his thumb but never wiping the smug smile off his face. ‘Tease, tease and tease. The longer you keep them waiting, the sweeter their reward will be.’ 

At this point, you could not imagine it being so sweet, as all you felt was a horribly empty feeling, deflating your insides by the second. 

‘Everyone likes that?’ You asked.

‘Hmm, good question.’ Eddie got up to remove his belt. He made a spectacle out of it, sliding the whole strap from between the loops, then throwing it down to the ground. ‘It does probably depend on a person, what their limits are. How much they can last and take.’ Like a showman, he made you watch. Made you wait. ‘I’m sure some people would rather just get on to the final act.’ 

‘Not me?’ you asked as he pulled his jeans down along with his boxers.

Just like the picture. 

‘Hmm,’ with a pondering expression, he fell down onto the mattress beside you. ‘Not you.’ 

‘What makes you say that?’ It took all your willpower to keep looking into his eyes. He, however, wasn’t as courteous. His eyes roamed over your naked body as his hand found its way back between your legs. A quick snap. He slapped your clit lightly, but it was enough to immediately sent a spark through you, nearly bringing you back to the spot of tension. 

‘Just a hunch.’ He slapped you again. 

♤

She was so fucking sensitive. Like a little porcelain doll.

For good measure, and the fact he couldn’t get enough of how her body moved when encountering intense pleasure, he gave that pussy a third and final snap. Maybe he would have kept going, he certainly had not felt like stopping any time soon, but it was when her hand reached for his. Fingers around his wrist. Her eyes closed lightly, mouth parted just a tiny bit, enough for her to whisper his name. 

‘Eddie.’

‘What’s up, sweetheart,’ he leaned in his lips almost on her cheek again. She didn’t respond. ‘Lesson four: always use words. I don’t know what you really want unless you tell me.’ He left sloppy kisses over her face as he dictated. ‘So? What. Do. You. Want?’ He punctuated each word with a touch

‘Fuck me.’ 

‘Of course.’ He had expected her to play around with the words, make him pull it out of him, but no. So, he got up and reached for the wallet in his jeans. He should have checked sooner. This had been too much of a risk, but luckily, the silver foil stuck out immediately. 

She had sat up again to watch him rip the packaging open. 

‘You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now,’ he chuckled to himself whilst pulling the condom out. ‘I have a whole box in my bag with the rest of my stuff.’ He had planned to get it out of his car after meeting her at the bar, but then everything had gone a bit to shit, hadn’t it? 

‘I have a box… in my bag,’ she said, for some reason almost embarrassed. 

‘Someone’s eager, huh?’ Perhaps he didn’t help, but really, he was talking about himself. Eddie could immediately imagine himself being with her for the rest of the night, the entire fucking week if he could, but something told him that after this— that would most likely be it. It was better not to stretch a good thing out. She paid for him to teach her the basics, not exhaust her to her limits, perhaps scare her off of sex forever.

‘No, I just–’ did she notice he was joking? Either way, she hid her face in her hands, laughing at herself. Eddie took the moment that she wasn’t eating him alive with her eyes to get a few pumps in. it wasn’t even needed; he was rock hard; it was just a routine at this point. He let his head roll back a little back as his hand moved up and down, then got on with putting the condom on. 

♤

‘How should we uhm— how do you want—’ you looked for a good way to phrase it as Eddie got back into bed. 

‘Anything particular in mind you wanted to get a hang of?’ he asked. You shook your head no. Stupid. You should have done your research. Come more prepared. 

But could anything prepare you for Eddie? It didn’t seem likely. You could have come in with a four-volume guide, and he would have probably thrown it out the window and shown you a whole new world. 

‘Then we’ll just see where the night takes us, why don’t we?’ He positioned himself on top of you. Arms on each side of your shoulders, stomach hovering over yours. As you both breathed in, you could feel his muscles. He put his weight on one of his forearms as the other hand reached back down between you, moving his fingers in a circular, steady motion. 

Too occupied with how good his touch on you felt, there was no real thought going through your mind when you pulled his face closer to you, kissing him deeply. Your noses pushed against one another. Your fingers rooted down between his hair.  

Eddie spread your legs wider apart, creating the perfect position for himself. 

‘You ok?’ he asked, lips practically still on yours. 

‘Mhm.’ You hummed, but Eddie clicked his tongue, pulling away a few inches to look at you a bit more focused. 

‘Mm, remember rule four?’ 

You didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to think. All you wanted, needed, was him inside you. But you answered: ‘use your words? Let them know what you want.’ 

‘Good girl,’ he kissed you softly. ‘It also goes for consent. Probably should have made that the first lesson, but what can you do? Make clear what and when you want something. If the guy doesn’t listen– I don’t know, kick him in the nuts.’ 

‘Got it.’ You nodded. 

‘So, let’s try it out.’ He didn’t move, just waited for you to speak. 

You took a deep breath. ‘I want you to fuck me, Eddie.’ 

‘There we go. Feels good, doesn’t it?’ His hand returned to rubbing your clit as he moved around above you, getting in the proper position. ‘Quick lesson five: it’s fucking hot when girls say shit like that. So don’t be afraid to get dirty.’ Slowly and carefully, he let himself sink into you. His length filled you up, spread your walls. It was a perfectly tight fit, making it impossible to hold anything in. 

‘Dirty and loud.’ Eddie stayed still, letting you get used to the feeling of him. ‘Don’t hold it in, baby, ok?’ 

‘O-ok.’ Your breath was shaky. Once used to him, you placed your hand on his chest. His hot breath burned your skin.

Eddie kept a slow pace, letting both of you ease into the rhythm of being together, but eventually, you felt your body loosen up. Finally, it wasn’t enough anymore. Was he holding himself in? Could he tell you needed more but was waiting for you to tell him? Teach you your lesson. 

‘More,’ the word was nearly just an exhale, but it was enough for Eddie. He kissed you passionately with a smile, and he plunged deeper inside you. From then on, his thrusts were harder, faster. He grabbed your leg and pulled it over himself. The new change brought in a whole new angle, letting you feel him through your entire body. 

The pleasure was intense, and beautiful. Your mind was scattered, so you didn’t even feel your teeth graze over your lips, locking in your voice. But Eddie noticed. 

♤

The second he caught it, something in Eddie’s mind switched on. As much as he tried to contain that part of himself, keep it away from her, he couldn’t. It was fucking primal. 

He thrust harder than he did before. His hand found its way to her cheek, squeezing it– not too tight, he pulled himself back quickly, but strong enough to show her he meant it– and his words came out in a growl. 

‘What did I tell you, baby? Don’t hold it in.’ A few more deep thrusts left both their bodies shaking with each move. ‘I want to hear every pretty sound that comes out of your mouth.’ His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, and, without another word exchanged, she parted those beautiful lips and granted him access. 

She fucking moaned around it and sucked her own juices off it. Could she taste the sweetness? He hoped she could. He was jealous of every person that ever got to taste it, but he quickly let that thought sink away as he had more pressing questions. 

‘Now, where did you learn that?’ He smiled when he pulled his thumb away, his hips only slightly rearranging the pace as he spoke calmly. 

‘Sorry, was that wrong?’ She blinked. Genuine fucking naivete. Eddie could barely hold it in anymore. 

‘Only in the sense that it got me this close to blowing my load before you got even close.’ He quickly regained his speed.

From that point on, she didn’t hold back. Her moans were beautiful. The sound of his name comes directly from the centre of her pleasure was like hitting the jackpot. If only he could live off those cute noises, he’d be the wealthiest man on earth. The luckiest. The happiest. 

What the fuck was wrong with him? 

But shit were her tits a sight for sore eyes. Looking at them, he couldn’t go a second without touching them. For a moment, he got scared he was too rough, but then the claws came out– almost literally. Her nails dug into his back. It would leave marks, and Eddie couldn’t wait to see them when he looked in the mirror the following day. 

‘Eddieee,’ it came out so shaky, so desperate. He could tell she was getting close. It took much less than expected. He had a thousand things in his head that he still wanted to do with her, show her, but even he realised then it was wishful thinking. His own words from minutes ago reverberated in his mind. 

You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now.

He was ready to burst, and it only took a few minutes in missionary. Usually, he could go for ages.

Then again, he hadn’t been this turned on in a long time. 

‘You close, baby?’ He asked and almost hoped to hear yes; Eddie didn’t know how much longer he could last, and if he came before her– he could never live that down. 

But she was lost in him, too far down to appropriately respond. That wasn’t good. Eddie slowed down a bit. ‘Hey, hey, you alright?’ 

♤

‘Yes,’ you took a deep breath, ‘please don’t stop. Not now.’ He was making you feel incredible. In a matter of a few minutes, you felt like you had reached the seventh heaven. Absolute bliss. 

But perhaps you didn’t feel how much you actually felt. As good as it was, this overwhelming sensation pulled you away from everything around you. When Eddie brought you back, with the softness of his voice and the touch of his hands, only then you realised how far down you had been.

‘Are you sure? We can take a break.’ Eddie’s eyes searched your face for any signs of trouble, but before he could spiral, you halted him. A few deep breaths were all it took for you to be present. 

‘I’m ok. Thank you.’ You kissed him. Whatever anyone would say if they heard about your plan, this was how you knew you had made the right choice. Or perhaps how you knew that the universe wasn’t always against you. Tonight, it brought you Eddie. Whether it was a freak accident or not, you would never regret the choices that led to it. 

Eddie continued what he was doing, giving you all his attention. To all of you. You didn’t feel like an inch of your body went down forgotten. Meanwhile, he was all you could think about. It was like the world around you dissolved. A fire could have burned down the entire room, and you don’t think you would have even noticed. Not with Eddie’s cock deep inside you. He didn’t falter. Each thrust was full of him, hitting the perfect spot. Mind-numbing, toe-curling and… 

Soon, you felt that feeling again. That tightness inside you. This time even tighter than previously. It was to be expected that Eddie knew what he was talking about. The longer the wait, the better the reward. And to think only a little time had passed since the two of you entered the hotel room. Not much time at all compared to how much you wished you could be with him. Was it insane? Probably, but you didn’t care.

You just wanted him, and you would take as much as he could give you. 

♤

Eddie could feel how close she was. 

It had definitely scared him when he saw how far down she had been, already blaming himself for taking it too far. He had been ready to pull the plug and return her all the money. It didn’t matter if her payment had actually gone to his account; he would make sure that his fuck ups were compensated. 

But she was fine. Like a little firecracker that she was, she kissed him, wiping his whole mind clear of anything but her. Her and that sweet, sweet taste. 

It didn’t take much longer for breathing to break up in quick succession. Moans got louder, likely uncontrolled, and her grip on his tighter. Her nails dug into his shoulder just as he loved it. 

‘C’mon baby, come on.’ He encouraged her to lose all of her control. Lose herself to the pleasure. She needed to know how it was to be treated right. He needed her to know. And he didn’t know how much more he could keep it going. His last few thrusts still reached the deepest parts of her, and got everything out of her he wanted, but he felt himself lose his momentum. With each second, it was getting harder to concentrate. 

‘Oh my god-’ she whimpered as she released underneath him with a high-pitched scream at that. As much as he wanted to hear all of it, he kissed her to mute it. There was no need for the neighbours to get concerned. 

Though from all the other noises they made, from how the bed shook and banged against the wall, they would make the correct assumption. 

Not much later, as she was still coming undone, Eddie let himself reel in the pleasure. Then, stilled within her, his lips on her neck now, he came. When he pulled away, he wished he could have left a mark on her, but he knew that would be a step too far. 

‘Thank you’ were the first words to come out of her mouth when he discarded the full condom in the trash. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t like feeling naked post-sex, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Maybe she expected more. If so, he could give it to her, but he just wasn’t sure– 

‘It’s my pleasure,’ he sat on the edge of the bed, just in reach to place his hand on her leg. They were both covered in sweat, naturally, but the cold was taking over. ‘You should get under the covers.’ The last thing he wanted was for her to get sick.

‘Right.’ She pulled at the corner of the blanket– always a much more arduous task than necessary in hotel rooms when they’re tucked in deeper than the pits of hell. As soon as she pulled the white sheet over her body, Eddie regretted his choice of words. It was probably the last time he would have seen her naked, and he didn’t even take a moment to appreciate what he had in front of him. 

He found his underwear, which was almost kicked under the bed. When he resurfaced, her face was full of worry. The furrow of her brows was enough to tell him that. 

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he covered himself up. 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘I don’t understand.’ 

‘I didn’t do anything. I asked you to help me figure this out, and we just–’ 

‘No, hey, hey.’ Eddie practically jumped into bed next to her. Cupped her face in his hands and made sure she looked at him as he spoke. ‘First of all, if this is how you feel, I should be the one to be sorry since I clearly didn’t do my job. So I’m sorry. But you have no reason to think you didn’t do well. This was amazing.’ He could only hope she knew just how much he meant his words. That she could trust a complete stranger with words as much as she did with their bodies. 

‘No, Eddie, it’s not that you didn’t teach me anything, but I– there’s still so much I don’t know. Fuck, I still have no idea how to suck a guy off.’ 

Eddie cursed under his breath. Just from those words, he could feel himself twitching against his boxers. This girl was going to be the death of me. She kept on talking. 

‘Would it be ok if we do this again? Not as an accident this time, I will book you.’ 

He wanted to say yes so badly. But he had to keep his mind clear as he answered. ‘I don’t think that will be a good idea.’ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wanted to punch himself in the gut. 

♤

‘I try to keep a strict one-time, no repeating clients policy. It makes the job much easier,’ Eddie explained. 

‘No, I understand.’ Having to do this with the number of people he does… you couldn’t imagine how that was. How other people would be with him, and what could have happened for him to make such a rule in the first place. 

‘I would say you should try Steve for real, but I don’t believe you need any “sex lessons”. 

‘Right,’ you scoffed away the comment, but Eddie was persistent. 

‘I mean it. I can tell that you have a whole talent in there for this shit. You just need to find the right guy to bring it out in you because whoever you’ve been in the past, clearly, they weren’t doing it right. Then you will learn everything else you want to learn by yourself. Basically like you did now.’ He gave you a kind smile, and you tried to replicate it. 

‘I did need you.’ You couldn’t look at him as you said it.

‘Ehhh– not so sure about that. For a while, I thought you just wanted me for my body.’ He fell over to his back, hand on his chest as if he had just been shot. ‘That shit can hurt, you know.’ He was so dramatic and made you laugh so easily. You had never expected anything like that to happen that night. 

♤

A body to adore was one thing, but he might miss her smile even more. 

‘Are you feeling alright?’

‘Why do you keep asking me that?’ She blinked. Eddie pushed down the anger he felt at all those morons that had not treated her right before.

‘Let that be your final lesson then,’ he pushed down another instinct, this time to make a cheesy reference that she might not get. There was no need to make the mood weird or awkward now. Eddie cleared his throat. ‘Lesson… what number are we on, six?– Lesson six: aftercare. Just check up on yourself to see if you’re able to carry on afterwards. While always quite vital, the more intense the session, the more important the aftercare. It keeps you stable.’ 

She nodded in understanding. ‘So, how would that look?’

‘Well, let’s see…. Are you sore? Do you need anything?’ Once again, he was mad at himself for going into this without his usual stuff. While his bag was mostly filled with toys that might be a bit too much for her, he also had plenty of shit to make her feel better if needed. 

‘No, I don’t think so.’ 

‘Ok, do you need something to drink? Eat?’ Before she even replied, Eddie lunged for the can of soda she had discarded on the desk opposite the bed. The bubbles would have mostly flattened by now, but it was still a liquid to drink. 

‘Not really,’ she said as he handed her the can and took a small sip. ‘Ok, maybe a little bit.’ They both smiled as she emptied the can of its last chug. 

‘More?’ Eddie asked as he tried to read it off of her. 

‘No, I’m good.’ Just like before, she started tapping on the can. Now empty, it sounded even more hollow. 

‘And was everything alright? I was scared I might have gone too far at one point.’ 

♤

The way you could see the genuine concern and worry in Eddie’s eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him, kiss him, and never let him go. To think that a few hours ago, neither of you was even aware of the other’s existence. That you weren’t supposed to be aware, that it was all a giant coincidence. And that after tonight… that would be all that it ever was. 

Here was this fantastic man taking care of you better than any other guy had. 

Sure, you paid him to do it, but something in you, call it a freaky instinct, told you that that was just who Eddie was. He wanted to take care of you. 

Maybe that’s why he went into the business. Who could really tell?

‘It was perfect,’ you told him because it was. 

‘Ok, good.’ He nodded, smiling shyly. It was the first time that night that you saw a crack in the confident front of the guy. 

‘Really, thank you.’ You reached for his hand, and his eyes followed it. He looked as your fingers lazily intertwined while you watched him.

‘You, uhm, you should probably go to the bathroom. Make sure you wash all of me out. Make it a standard practice, really.’

‘Will do,’ your voice wasn’t hoarse, yet you whispered. It suddenly became hushed in the room. It could have been quiet all this time, but it was then that you grew aware of it. 

You didn’t want to leave the bed, or Eddie, just yet, but you knew you should listen to his professional advice. Everything he had told you so far felt like the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe you also knew of them already, maybe did it too, but it only made sense when it came from Eddie.  ‘Don’t leave yet, ok? I want to say goodbye.’ The idea of him being gone when you came back felt gut-wrenching for many reasons, but all unknown. 

All Eddie did was nod. 

When you returned, he had just put his shirt back on. His belt was in his jeans loops but not yet fastened. Was it weird to watch him get dressed? It felt more like a thing real couples did, which you were far from. It felt stranger doing so whilst you were still completely naked, so you grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe on the bathroom shelf and pulled it on, tying it tightly around your waist. 

‘That’s me then.’ Eddie scratched the back of his neck, looking around, most likely checking if he didn’t forget something. A part of you hoped he did. He would realise it only hours later and rush back to find it. That this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet. 

A girl could wish. 

‘Right.’ You put on a brave face as you made your way to the door. ‘Thank you again. For everything.’

All Eddie did in response was nod with a tight-lipped smile. 

The door was open now. He was already on the threshold. Compared to the soft glow of your room, the corridor's light felt jarring to your eyes. Just like that, it was over.

You could not believe this was the end. It ended as quickly as it started. A whole whirlwind of… everything, really. 

Before you could stop yourself, one last question burst through your lips. 

‘Is Eddie your real name?’ You immediately regretted your entire life, couldn’t believe you had done that. ‘I’m so sorry, just ignore me. I don’t know why I said that–’

But Eddie beamed. He took your hand in his. ‘As real as anything tonight was.’ and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. He started walking before your wrist even hit your hip. 

You couldn’t watch him walk away, so you closed the door and your eyes before he went too far. A minute later, you cursed to yourself.

The whole aftercare thing- You never got to ask if he was ok.

Fuck.

the end.

thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist. - also made a lil playlist based on this fic, told through taylor swift songs

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Eddie (smut, 18+) taglist part 1:

@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @mischiefmanagers @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @mydearzero @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington @billyhargrovesprincess @annikin-im-panicin @kaitieskidmore1 @yesv01 @princess-aries

[wednesdaynn]

NSFW alphabet

remus lupin x fem!reader

warnings: i mean it's in the title guys...

A/N:not edited as per usual, also am posting these on ao3 in a series format so... if you prefer that. i would like to start writing more about remus and such so this is an introduction to how i see him ig.

A = After care (what they're like after sex)

I’d like to pretend that Remus is a sweet boy, who will rub your back and run a bath, but in all honesty the guy is probably fast asleep and fighting to keep his eyes open. but maybe that’s just what you both need. quick clean up and soft, tender kisses until both of you fall asleep. 

B = body part (their favorite body part)

His favorite body part of himself is his thighs. with the least amount of scars and where he isn’t too thin, he prefers that part. He loves when you ride his thighs, leaving your cum all over him. grabbing you by the waist and guiding you back and forth, rubbing your clit all over the muscles there.

his favorite part of your body has to be your hands. when you grab his face and wipe away his tears, how you squeeze his cheeks affectionately, grabbing his jaw and pulling him close to kiss, when you pull on his hair when he’s going down on you, the way your hand wraps around his dick. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Remus is kind of a clean freak, during the moment it’s not something he thinks about much, only when he has to pull out when he knows you haven’t taken your potion. But if he comes all over you, he wants to wipe it off immediately after you’re done. finding the stickiness gross. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Remus is honestly kind of possessive. Even though he doesn’t show it much, he hates it when other people try to flirt with you, or when your friends make a cheap joke about you. He loves marking you up for this reason. Although he makes sure the marks are at all times covered, it does mask his jealousy and possessiveness up by a lot.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Remus isn’t that experienced. He lost his virginity once and that’s all the experience he has. He finds out all about sexual endeavors from you.

F = favorite position

you riding him, obviously. The man is a sucker for seeing you on top of him, who wouldn’t be. Not only is it perfect around the full moon when his body aches the most, the strenuous activity of sex is often too much, so letting you take the lead and set the pace makes it much easier on him, both mentally and physically. Plus, the view is a bonus. the fact alone that he has the ability to grab you wherever and whenever, run his hands along your hips and stomach and tits. It makes him wild. 

G = Goofy? (are they more serious at the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Remus isn’t that goofy anymore, he used to be at the beginning though. When he was still figuring out what he even liked during sex and what sex was like with you, he was a lot more goofy, seeing as he was quite shy. In turn lots of small accidents happened, like butting your head against the board, or being unable to unhook your bras which would then send him into a frenzy, making you laugh at him. 

but over time he developed a sense of harmony with you and it’s all just romance and passion. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

this dude just doesn’t care about grooming at all, neither for you nor him. He finds it irritates his skin more than it already does, and it’s all just too much of a hassle. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

nowadays he is a lot more romantic, he’s someone who’s sole focus is making you feel good and loved. flustering you and making you melt. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I feel like this one speaks for itself, but he’s a teenage boy. Of course he’s beating his meat. And as a muggleborn, of course he has a small collection of suggestive magazines, his collection for his spank bank is quite small. But ever since he got with you he does less and less and doesn’t pay attention to anyone else anymore. he doesn’t get the satisfaction he needs anymore if it isn’t with you. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

dual masturbation. although he prefers nothing more than to be the one to touch you and make you feel good, and he loves how your hands and mouth feel around his cock more than anything. There is something so intimate and hot about him seeing you masturbate in front of him, showing him what you like, and getting to completely have his head in the game and his soul focus being on what you look like is everything to him. (he also secretly enjoys the slight humiliation it gets out of you, the way you get all embarrassed at him seeing you so vulnerable and seeing him get off on you makes you all shy and him just 10x harder)

L = location (favorite places to do the do)

boring, but just in bed or the shower. He likes the intimacy the bed brings him. getting to take you apart slowly while making sure you are the most comfortable. resting your body on the soft mattress, putting a pillow under your hips, laying under the blankets in the winter as the fireplace barely suffices. And the shower is a little guilty pleasure location for him. if it’s going for a second round, or doing it there because the boys are in the dorm room, he loves the tight space where he gets to be close to you, the steam of the hot water filling up the room.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly everything gets this man going, but a big part of him just likes to be taken care of, he views sex more as an intimacy thing, he finds it a romantic and healthy part of a relationship. so when you shower him with affection, take care of his needs and make sure he’s feeling alright, especially during that time of the month, it makes him feel all domestic. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything remotely violent. this man does not get off on hurting you, physically or verbally. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

receiving a hundred percent. although he likes giving and he’s adept at making you feel good, he likes when you get on your knees for him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow and sensual is definitely his vibe, taking his time with making you feel good, focusing on every little detail, the sounds you let out, the way your cunt clenched around his dick, how you grab onto the sheets when he hits just the spot. he likes taking his time, because it allows him to be more present in the moment and drag it out as long as he can.  

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not a fan, as explained before, he likes to take his time with you. There is never a moment where he thinks doing a quickie is better than waiting until nightfall to make sure you are properly taken care of, both during and afterwards. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

not too much, he likes to try something new if you suggest it, but when it comes down to risky business, he prefers not to. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This man can’t last that many rounds to be honest, but his strength at prolonging an orgasm on both your ends needs to be studied. This man can wait and wait and hold off for a while. taking frequent breaks in between to collect himself. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

talking about remus in the sense of hogwarts, no, they live in the seventies and toys aren’t that common. Are we talking modern!au, absolutely. This man is all game for toys both on himself and his partner. the more toys the better. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

In general not so much, but as explained before, if he senses it will be over soon he will edge you all night long, belittling you on your inability to take it, and begging him to fasten his pace. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

this man isn’t necessarily loud, he just makes a lot of noises, this man whines at every whim and puts his head in your neck and groans, smiling. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The first time you guys discussed the idea of bringing toys into your sex life, you bought everything on the internet that money could buy. and you guys waited, and waited, until everything had arrived to go over them with each other. what you are comfortable with, what is a hard no, etc. later that night he blindfolded you and tried out every toy on your body until you barely kept from passing out. 

X = X-ray ****(let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

this is a tall man, i don't need to tell you any further. but Remus is a bit chubby with the amount of food this man needs to settle his appetite because of his predisposition. scars litter his body and a big silver one right down his sternum. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

the average of a teenage boy. This guy could go almost every day if possible, except around the time of the full moon, he’s usually a bit more moody and doesn’t feel well, making him less inclined to want to participate in sex. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

quickly, although he makes sure both of you are taken care of properly afterwards, this man would probably fall asleep in minutes after finishing. 

[reallychaoticwoo]

Hi love✨

I don’t know if you have written this before but could you write a fic of how ot8 react to you being a virgin and specifically saving yourself just for them ??

⛓️ Heya! I'm not doing full fics atm but heres a quick drabble for ya!(: I hope you enjoy!⛓️

✨️ Worthy ✨️

❤️Pairing: Ateez x reader

⚠️Warnings: cussing, suggestiveness, fluff🖤

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤Sorry i didnt go into too much detail, if youd like a smuttier version let me know! This is just the reaction not so much the "action" lol. Hope you enjoy and thank you for your support🖤

If you enjoyed this, you can find my full masterlist Here

"I just took that bdsm test I've been seeing going around, and it turns out I really am a brat!" Wooyoung said with a huge chuckle as he plopped himself down on the far end of the couch. "We could've told you that, Woo. You really didn't need to take a test." San ruffled the younger man's hair sporting a sly grin. Wooyoung just rolled his eyes and replied with a huff, "Well, it turns out I'm also a switch, which means I'm not always a brat, so HA!"

"You know I've been wanting to take that test myself." Hongjoong added into the conversation nonchalantly. "I'd be interested to know what it says about me as well." Seonghwa was the next to pipe in. It wasn't long before the entire group was talking about what they thought the others results of the test would be. Everyone wanted to take a guess before taking the actual test to see how close they all got.

Yup, this was your Friday night. Hanging out with the chaotic group of friends you acquired many years ago. You wondered how long they'd keep up this conversation. It's not like you were well versed on the topic. You knew some stuff, obviously, but you'd never actually done any of it, so you decided to just stay quiet. That is, until they noticed.

"What about you y/n? What do you think our results would be?" Mingi asked, looking at you with an adorably shy yet confident smile on his face. "Uh.. um.. I mean, Woo being a brat sounds right, I guess. I think San would probably be into whatever keeps brats from being bratty. Hongjoong seems like he would be sweet, I suppose. Hwa could be mean or sweet.. um.. Yeo.. idk about Yeo.." Before you could finish, Yunho sat down beside you and gave you the most puzzled look.

"Do you not - Do you not know anything about bdsm?" He cocked his head to the side like a puppy trying to figure out what a new sound was. "Uhm.. no.. not really. Is that a bad thing?" Looking down, fiddling with you thumbs, you felt Yunho lean back against the couch, a soft giggle escaping his lips. "No, not really a bad thing. Just surprised. You didn't strike me as a vanilla." You shot him a questioning look. "It means lame in bed." Wooyoung butted in unable to contain his laughter at your 'lameness'.

Hwa was the next to move spots sitting down on the other side of you. "So what do you know then?" You thought to yourself for a moment, trying to decide if now was the time you'd be telling them you were still a virgin. You'd managed to keep it under wraps this long, but all things must come to an end eventually. "I mean, I know how sex works, obviously. I know some people like it more rough than others and all that. I just don't know all the extra stuff, considering I've never tried anything." The look on all of their faces was utter confusion, and maybe a bit of shock.

San leaned forward, turning his head to face you, "What do you mean you've never tried anything? Like just crazy stuff or like actually anything?" There was no stopping the racing in your chest right now, nor the blush that was prominent on your cheeks. "I mean anything aside from like figuring or handjobs." Why did you just tell them that they didn't need to know. Of course, they were your best friends, so it's not like this is an abnormal conversation for the group.

"Are you.. have you.." Yeosang started to ask. "Yes, I'm still a virgin." You sighed. You were sure your face was so red right now it could be a neon sign. You felt like you were gonna puke, or maybe cry, or you weren't even sure, but you were so beyond embarrassed right now. "AWWWWW little baby y/n has never had any dick??" If looks could kill Wooyoung would be dead in his spot with the look you just shot him.

Finally joining, Jongho, of course, had to be the one to ask, "Is there like a reason? Are you saving yourself for marriage, or is it religious? We've known you for years, and you never striked me as someone who'd put a lot of importance on the matter." Of course, they all already knew you weren't really religious, but that didn't mean you didn't have your reasons.

"I have been saving myself but not for like religious reasons or anything." You knew what was coming next. You were shaking in your spot, praying the two men next to you couldn't feel the fact you were basically having a personal earthquake next to them. Hongjoon was quick with the follow-up. "So what are you saving yourself for exactly?" You felt like he just knew your answer. Something about the look in his eyes said he'd caught on to why you hadn't let anyone else have you. You knew that was unrealistic, but you also knew this man caught onto everything. There was no hiding it anymore.

"If I tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh at me, or freak out, or just anything. Okay?" They all nodded, a few okays, some hums. "Okay, here goes nothing, I guess.. I've been saving myself for you.. all of you.. I know that's kind of stupid, considering we're all just friends, but I guess since I'm already telling you guys my secrets tonight, you should know I like you as more than friends too." If you could shrink into yourself at that moment, you would. You hid your face behind your hands, praying they'd just let that be that, and you could all pretend it never happened. Of course you weren't that lucky.

Feeling two sets of arms wrapping around you, you forced yourself to peek out from behind your hands. The whole room was the most silent they all have ever been. Their faces a mix of shock and some other emotion you couldn't quite figure out. "I-I can't tell you how happy we are to hear that." Seonghwa all but whispered as he held onto you tighter. Yunho nodded into you back, agreeing with his arms around you as well.

"Do you know how long we've been holding in our feelings for you, y/n?" Hongjoong asked, his eyes a little glassy. All you could manage was to shake your head in response. "We've been wanting you for years.. We just never said anything because we were worried that having eight men tell you they want you in every way possible would have you running for the hills." You laughed. You laughed loudly and uncontrollably at his statement. The look of confusion and hurt on his face had you trying to reply quickly through your laughter. "Any normal sane girl, yeah, probably would run for the hills. But I've been in love with every single one of you for years now, and to be honest, I couldn't imagine a life without all of you in it."

Wooyoung stood up and made his way behind the couch to where you were sitting. He leaned forward to wrap his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back into him. "Well, luckily for everyone we all won't have to be without each other ever again. Now, with that being said, I'd love to go first and teach you a thing or two. I promise I'll be nice." With a cheeky wink and a Cheshire grin, he leaned forward to lay a sultry kiss to your jaw before nibbling at your ear.

[demiesworld]

hantengu quad squad (brothers!headcanon)

characters: sekido, karaku, aizetsu, and urogi

synopsis: my headcanons on the clones if they were born in modern times and were quadruplets. a little bit of a character analysis as well if you squint.

note: purely fictional. i do not own the rights to these characters etc.

credits to the original artist of the photo.

in my pov, i see sekido as the oldest ofc. karaku is the second born, then aizetsu as the third, and lastly urogi.

i know what most of you are thinking, aizetsu should be the youngest he screams that sort of energy. you are right, but technically you're wrong. in s3 ep4, i noticed how sekido was telling aizetsu to cut genya in half and to hurry it up. when he said that it reminded me of how middle children commonly get chastised by their parents or overshadowed by their other siblings bc they are the "middle child" so aizetsu is the middle child imo.

urogi is the youngest simply bc he does not give a shit about anything. this dude is literally living life just to have fun, just like karaku and can be reckless with their actions. to him rules are meant to be broken and he does not listen well to authoritative figures (looking at you sekido)

living together as siblings for the four of them is a fucking mess. sekido who's always irritated by his brothers probably has a chore list that nobody, except for aizetsu, follows. but even if aizetsu follows it he still gets chewed out for not meeting sekido's expectations of cleaning, and sekido just ends up doing the chore himself. karaku and urogi both have weekly chores to do, but they put it off on aizetsu because he's easier to manipulate into doing their bidding.

aizetsu often gets mistaken for being the youngest sibling out in public bc he's so timid and has dejected pout on his face in comparison to his other siblings.

their heights from tallest to shortest: karaku (187cm;6ft 2in), sekido (186cm;6ft 1in), aizetsu (184cm;6ft 1in), and urogi (182cm;6ft 0in)

in my headcanon, karaku and urogi are both identical twins, and the rest of them are fraternal.

sekido and karaku always gets into arguments over karaku's lack of respect for bringing random women into their home. like sekido woke up one morning to find some stranger in his fridge eating HIS leftover takeout that clearly said "DO NOT TOUCH -SEKIDO"

karaku and him both have gotten into very violent and physical fights. one time it gotten so bad karaku was bleeding out and he had to leave the house. didn't return back for a week.

none of the other brothers know if one or the other apologized, but they ended up being brotherly again so-

aizetsu is shy around attractive women so he relies on urogi to be his wingman no pun intended.

this backfires bc urogi ends up shit talking about aizetsu, flirting with the girl and absolutely forgetting why he was talking to the girl in the first place.

aizetsu witnessed urogi leaving with one of his crushes at a party and he went back home crying into his pillow over it.

urogi made it up to him by giving aizetsu the girls ripped panties (urogi you little shit)

urogi has a pet female cockatiel that he named "bandit" bc he taught her how to steal food from people's plates and drop them into trash cans.

when he's butting heads with sekido as a way to piss him off he lets bandit fly around the house and knock things over. particularly vases, glass jars, etc. before putting her back in the cage when sekido is about to murder him.

sekido breathes through his mouth when he sleeps, karaku sleeps with two fans on bc he's always hot and ends up with a congested nose in the morning, aizetsu is a light sleeper and listens to white noise (you'll find out why soon), urogi snores very loud and talks in his sleep at night.

since the home they live in is a three bedroom (aha) sekido has his own room which is the masters, karaku has his own room too, leaving the youngest of the quad squad aizetsu and urogi to share a room.

i headcanon that karaku likes to walk around the house wearing grey sweatpants (no underwear) and is shirtless. sekido sleeps in one of those satin or silk pajamas and wears a robe when he's in the house on a weekend. aizetsu sleeps in a sweatshirt and shorts, sometimes wears his snorlax slippers but urogi teases him about it whenever he sees aizetsu wearing them. urogi sleeps butt ass naked. yes. i shit you not. like he'll wear boxers or briefs to bed, but somehow he takes them off while he's sleeping and he wakes up naked.

on a scale of most to least who takes care of their appearance & hygiene? karaku, aizetsu, sekido, and urogi.

karaku showers at least three times a day, follows a religiously dedicated skin care routine, and wears his retainers for his teeth at night. i headcanon he sleeps with a bonnet on his head to protect his luscious locks. he regularly goes to the hair salon to get his hair fixed. visits the nail salon too for a mani, pedi, and a facial if he has enough money for all three. face card never declines. hes immune to breakouts and flare ups on his skin. lowkey wears makeup to hide the dark circles underneath his eyes. brushes his teeth in the morning and the night. girls say he smells like a roasted peach kinda citrusy. very sensual smelling.

aizetsu showers once or twice a day usually before he sleeps. he washes his face with some affordable brand like clean&clear or neutrogena and puts lotion on his face. always shaves his facial hair and body hair. brushes his teeth in the morning but he always forgets so he does it before bed. i headcanon he used to wear braces up until the age of 15 and they got removed. he goes to a salon to do his hair and only trusts that one stylist to do it. ppl says he smells like fresh laundry and lavender.

sekido only showers once and that is before bed. he doesn't wash his face that often bc his skin is sensitive and even branded sensitive skin products don't work for him. so he ends up just using expensive dermatologist recommended products. besides from that his skin is soft and he does have a flare up when it gets to be the summer time. he shaves his face, doesnt shave his armpits, or down there. his chest has some hairs, but he gets them waxed. has hairy ass legs. brushes his teeth after a meal and before bed. sleeps with a mouthguard bc he grinds his teeth at night. he doesn't take care of his hair very well. doesn't know what products will work for his hair texture so its usually unkempt. he smells like cinnamon.

urogi was the child that did not want to shower. his mother had to fight with him to get him to take one. so i believe that he showers twice a week. he doesn't smell bad unless he's been sweating really hard. he knows he is very prone to breakouts but he doesn't wash his face. instead he just splashes water on his skin and scrubs the dirt off with a towel. surprisingly enough it works for him. he will shave his face but not anywhere else on his body. he has hairy legs. he washes his hair with 2 in 1, combs through the knots while its wet and lets it air dry. remarkably his hair remains thick, voluminous, and doesn't shed. i headcanon he smells like sandalwood, kinda earthy smell.

who is most likely to move out first? aizetsu. he's been saving up money for a long time to move out of the hantengu household. he's unable to deal with his brothers attitudes. tired of sleeping in the same room as urogi especially since bro has a pet fucking bird.

who will get married first? karaku. he would date the person for maybe 2 years, then propose that they get married. he wants to be sure that he person he marries is the right one for him.

who's the better cook? despite being so damn perfect karaku can't cook for shit. sekido can cook a decent meal FOR HIMSELF but not for his brothers. aizetsu is not allowed in the kitchen bc he left a pizza in the oven on BROIL NOT BAKE and it almost burned down their kitchen. he is only allowed to use the microwave. urogi is a good cook so they assign him to cook them breakfast on the weekends mornings and nights.

who has better grades in school? sekido. he turns in his assignments before the due date, he's always on the principal's list, and is a member of the student council as president. the rest of them aren't as academically well as he is. aizetsu may come in second place, but he struggles with math (i headcanon aizetsu is dyslexic) & anything related to public speech. urogi does struggle with math and for some reason he's an ace at world history. karaku tends to skip some classes on fridays by hanging out at the gym with the gym coach. he's smart in literature, science, and world history. like aizetsu he struggles with math.

from most to least who works out more? karaku, urogi, sekido, aizetsu. we all seen karaku's body like tell me this man does not lift weights. karaku is always at the gym in the early morning hours bc according to him "the early bird gets the worm" urogi works out at the gym too, he's one of those dudes you see doing pull ups and does leg presses. never misses out on leg day. sekido does workout but only focuses on his arms, chest, and shoulders. doesn't care too much about have a muscular build. aizetsu doesn't step one foot into the gym. he was blessed with a high metabolism so it's easy for him to stay with a slim figure. he does have some muscle on him because he does bojutsu and jujutsu.

what are their vices? karaku has a bad habit of smoking weed. not that it's dangerous for him, but none of the others like the smell of some of the flowers he uses (homie got that gas). so he smokes outside on the patio. meanwhile sekido smokes cigarettes (specifically malboro special select 100 gold) and he always drinks a can of white claw on a saturday evening while he's watching fucking debates on tv. aizetsu vapes and he smokes weed by himself. doesn't like to smoke with urogi bc he laughs at the stupidest of shit and it blows aizetsu's high. he does drink but not a lot. poor boy is a lightweight. urogi vapes and drinks twisted teas. he drinks that bc, and i quote, "beer tastes like bitter like sekido's soul, seltzers are just spiked waters for depressive queers like aizetsu, and liquor is as problematic as karaku's dating history. :P" (everybody let's side eye him)

notes: i would add more but i don't want to get too ahead of myself here. this may develop into a series. idk yet. depends on how much ppl like my headcanon of them lol

© demiesworld

[alieinthemorning]

Deep Sea Love [Rafayel]

Content: Character Death, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, POV Second Person, Bond: Nightly Stroll Spoilers

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

If Rafayel had to choose between the sea and land, one boring place over another. He’d probably pick the sea. As boring as it was, it hasn’t hurt him as bad as the land has. Yeah, there were things that he found interesting and amusing, but…

“Rafayel, when are you going to clean this place?” You asked him with a frown, a clear sign of your displeasure

“Haven’t you heard the saying: ‘Beauty in chaos.’”

You nodded, but there was still that pesky frown on your face. “Yes, but—”

“No buts! This is how it’s supposed to be.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you further into his chaos.

“You can’t keep checking yourself into the hospital just because you want to see me, Rafayel.”

He looked away from your sharp gaze. “It works, doesn’t it?”

“At the cost of the nurses’ precious time.”

“Then what should I do?”

You smiled at him warmly. “Just be honest. Say that you just want to see me, and I'll come.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to come and find me, Rafayel…” You didn’t look at him, your eyes were glued to the floor. Hell, you didn’t even open the door all the way, just enough that you could address him.

But that didn’t matter, because he had seen enough. “You’re hurt.” Your arms were wrapped in bandages, and with how bad the news said the battle was, he was sure other parts of you were covered in gauze.

“It’s not too bad, not the worse I’ve had.”

“You’ve had worse?!”

You shrugged, gaze finally reaching his.“…Well, of course, I’m a Hunter, after all.”

He sighed as he slumped further against the boulder. Why was he thinking about you now. It had been years since…

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Rafayel. I’m not going to make it.”

He didn’t say anything, however, the hand holding yours gripped it a little tighter.

“So, you’re going to have to take care of yourself from now on, okay? No more all-nighters, and make sure to eat something—”

“You’re dying, and all you can do is nag me. That’s so like you.”

It was quiet for a moment after that, then you placed your other hand on, telling him to look up at you. Once you had his attention, you spoke softly.

“I love you, Rafayel. So, even after I’m gone, please keep my love for you safe, okay?”

“…I will keep your love for me safe”

He didn’t need to look down to know that the vow had been blessed, and he’s glad he didn’t because he would have missed the warmest, brightest smile you had ever given him.

“Thank you, my love.

I’ll be going first.”

He angrily scrubbed his hands over his wet face, then let them rest on his chest.

“I love you, too, you know. And I swear…that I won’t let anything tarnish our love.”

Blue light peeked from in between his fingers, and from that light was birthed another blessing from the ocean.

Another vow of your love.

I am not immune to any of these men.

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

[veritas-scribblings]

boggart - @jegulus-microfic - words: 1,318

[in-universe: welcome, night, safe, more, devour(M) and then constellation | takes place before constellation but after devour]

There are exactly two times that Lily ever recalls Sirius and James having a proper quarrel. The first time was in sixth year. It had come out of the blue. No one, even now, could tell you exactly what had happened between the two boys. The quarrel wasn’t explosive. It wasn’t the ‘shouting in the common room’ or the ‘spells thrown, fists thrown’ kind of quarrel. One day, Sirius and James were as thick as thieves. The next day, they wouldn’t look at each other; they wouldn’t even be found near each other.

This is how Lily knows that Sirius and James are at odds with one another. Because for people so attached at the hip that it would take a severing spell to separate them, Lily could comfortably fit the Quidditch Pitch and the Forbidden Forest in the distance between them. And it had started approximately a week ago.

James flings the door open with a resound thwack and stumbles out of the compartment, almost walking into Lily. He’s flushed, anxious, and looks hastily at the ground before muttering, ’Sorry, Lils,’ and hurrying away down the corridor.

There’s only one person in the world with the ability to make James Potter so humble and sheepish: Sirius Black.

Lily steps into the compartment where Sirius is valiantly attempting to beat up the wall of the train with the toe of his shoe. ‘A confringo would do the trick,’ she says. ‘I’ll help. Between the two of us, reckon we could probably take out the whole train.’

Sirius dumps himself onto the bench and draws his knees to his chest. ‘Fuck off, Evans.’

Lily nods solemnly in acknowledgement, though she very much does not fuck off. Instead, she sits on the bench opposite him and gives him a tight smile. ’Just some unsolicited advice—’

‘Don’t.’

‘—get over it.’

Sirius frowns. Knees pulled to his chest, squashed into the corner of the compartment, he looks away. ‘I repeat: fuck off, Evans. This is none of your business.’

‘No, it isn’t,’ Lily agrees. ‘But your platonic life partner just exited stage left with his head hung and his tail between his legs because you’re being a spoiled, selfish brat.’

For whatever reason—whatever unfathomable reason—she feels a sense of protectiveness towards James. She hadn’t understood James in the past; not the way she does now. They’d butted heads more than once because, let’s be real. James is a boy, and before…well, James had been a boy-boy. He’d been loud and crass and a bully who showboated. And Lily just doesn’t have the time or the patience for any of the bullshit of school boys.

It had taken the dimming of James’s blazing shine for her to really see him. To see that under all the put-on swagger, all the cockiness, that James can be sensitive, and good, and that James can be prone to putting the welfare of others above his own.

And honestly, she thinks this is why Regulus had been drawn to James. Melt the heart of the Slytherin Ice Prince, or something to that effect. ‘So they were caught snogging. I mean, who hasn’t James snogged. The boy’s got pull.’

‘They had no fucking right to lie to me and betray me like that.’ Sirius looks like he wants to vomit or strangle someone. ‘James is my friend,’ he says through gritted teeth, ‘Regulus is my brother.’

It takes an unreasonable amount of self-control for Lily to not roll her eyes. ‘Right, so it’s about you.’

‘No, I—’

‘No? Because it sounds like you’re making this about you, not about them. I was under the impression that Regulus and James are autonomous human beings, not that they are only allowed to do things that Sirius Black approves of.’

Sirius stares, wide-eyed. His wand has made it to his hand, and she knows that very soon he is likely to try and use it to make her fuck off. ‘I’m allowed to be upset that my brother and my friend were sneaking—‘

‘Your brother,’ Lily repeats. ‘Your friend. Again, sounds like it’s all about you.’

Sirius whacks the base of his wand against the bench. He’s holding it in remarkably well, despite the obviously overwhelming desire to hex her. Like he wants her to talk sense into him. And he probably does. Over the years—sometimes by choice, sometimes by unfortunately experience—she’s learnt enough about Sirius that she knows he’s often unable to look past the gravity of his own emotions. Reason and Sirius do not go hand-in-hand. And the last thing he would want is to sabotage the two relationships that probably mean the most to him.

‘You’re allowed to be upset,’ Lily says more gently. ‘You’re allowed to not like it. You’re allowed to feel betrayed that they didn’t tell you. You’re not allowed to actively try to control people’s lives because you’re not happy with the choices they’re making about about their own lives.’

Sirius whacks his wand even harder. If it breaks, she thinks, he’ll lose his absolute shit and this will be the end of the conversation. Lily grabs the wand and sets it aside.

‘I’m not being fucking controlling. They betrayed me,’ he hisses.

‘Oh, Sirius. You are. If you’re trying to protect Regulus because you think James is a bad person, or at least a bad person for him, sure. If you’re trying to protect James because you think that Regulus is a bad person or a bad person for him, again, sure. If you’re just trying to prevent them from getting together because you feel, in some sort of weird, twisted, possessive way, that they’re your brother and your friend and they can only be yours? Well, sorry. That’s fucked.’ She grabs his wand, hands it to him, and stands up to leave.

‘We’re just getting to know each other,’ Sirius says quietly.

Lily turns around again. Sirius, who is normally full of bravado. Sirius, who is normally bold and cocky and larger than life. He looks like he’s collapsing in on himself.

She gets it. She does. He’s scared. Unfortunately for Sirius and the world, he is like a dog when he’s scared: he lashes out, he gets aggressive and he bites down and he doesn’t let go. And in the process, the people he loves gets hurt.

‘I’m just getting to really know him,’ Sirius says looking like he’s about to cry. ’The entire time growing up together…living in that house…we never really knew each other. We definitely didn’t like each other. We existed. We fought. We competed. We hurt each other…’

‘…and you loved each other too.’ Lily smiles a small smile, sitting down next to Sirius. ‘I get it. I have a sister. It’s a love-hate relationship. Even if you’re not close to them, you’ll give the world to have them and protect them from hurt.’

Sirius shrugs. ‘Now, we’re starting to get to know each other and…,’ he looks down at his knees, ‘…Regulus will love James more than me. He’s James. Who wouldn’t.’

Lily shakes her head. Of course Sirius would think that. For a friendship that’s for the most part entirely platonic, they’re ludicrously stupid about each other. Sometimes she thinks it would be easier if they just shagged and got that over and done with and out of the way.

‘Not to be rude, Black, but…woman up and grow a cunt.’ Lily turns around at the compartment door. ‘Look, for what it’s worth, James is happy. He’s completely gone on your brother. Your brother, well, he’s a prickly spiteful little creature. And I think James will be good for him.’ She steps out into the corridor, calling over her shoulder, ‘And it’ll bring you and Regulus closer together not drive you further apart. You two will have more in common. The fact that you’re both stupidly in love with James Potter!’

[sunsetcougar]

How does everyone at the hotel and of course Carmilla respond to the reveal that Vaggie is a Carmine when that data dump is sent down? Did Vaggie have an idea or was it a surprise to her as well?

Add in if you want how everyone (including our beloved chaggie) responded when Vaggie and Charlie were first allowed to return to the hotel after the whole fiasco.

Another long post! The plot bunnies keep multiplying and asks only encourage them.

The hotel residents are mostly surprised, even Vaggie had no idea that she was related to the Carmines. Charlie is nervous but also excited at the prospect of getting to meet Vaggie’s family. Angel is a little jealous that Vaggie is most likely going to get her family back, but he doesn’t show it. Husk is happy for her, from what he knows Carmilla is a good mom. Sir Pentious wants to know if this means he can buy Carmine products again. Niffty is Niffty.

The only one displeased about it is Alastor since he knows this will mean another overlord butting into the hotel and his territory, and he won’t be able to do anything about it. Charlie’s authority far outweighs his and she’d do anything for Vaggie.

As for Carmilla herself she opened the letter Vaggie sent her pretty soon after she got it since she’s not one for letting things sit. At first she didn’t believe it, this wouldn’t be the first time someone who learned of her missing third daughter tried to impersonate her to get close to the Carmines, but the more she reads the more legitimate it looks. The photocopies of the records match up with what Vaggie wrote, there’s no holes in her story. Plus the records have a couple portrait shots of Vaggie, one from when she was first kidnapped and one from a few weeks before she was abandoned, and she does look so much like the portrait Carmilla has of her daughter.

Carmilla doesn’t tell Clara and Odette of this at first, not wanting to get their hopes up only to be crushed. She spends a day pouring over every detail she was given before finally deciding it’s worth the risk and calling the number on the letter to set up a meeting.

As for the second half of your ask, Vaggie charged through the portal as soon as it was opened and nearly barreled into Angel, Charlie close behind. Vaggie didn’t stick around in the lobby for more than a few seconds, instead bolting up the stairs to her and Charlie’s room to go hide, once again with Charlie close behind.

That left the hotel residents staring after them, processing their sudden return. They’d begun truly thinking that Chaggie had been murdered in Heaven, but they were very obviously alive if more scared than any of them had ever seen them before. They want to follow and check on them, but also want to give them space. They opt to go with the latter option, knowing they have each other and probably just need time and privacy to work through whatever emotions they’re dealing with before they’re okay to talk to other people.

All except for Alastor who opts to follow Chaggie in his shadows, and finds them in their room, the door left open enough for him to peek in. Vaggie had dropped to her knees and was beginning to break down, everything she’d been suppressing over her time in Heaven bubbling up now that she’s safe. She noticed him out of the corner of her eye and faster than he’s ever seen her move she grabbed her spear and threw it, piercing the door and his shoulder.

They didn’t see Alastor for a few days after that. He melted into his shadows and just didn’t return. Which turned out to be for the better since his antagonistic nature wouldn’t have helped.

Husk ends up making both Charlie and Vaggie pretty strong drinks when they finally come downstairs, Angel makes the pasta dish he knows they both love, and Sir Pentious and Niffty get their door fixed and everything cleaned up. They can all tell that neither of them want to talk about what happened.

[teecupangel]

Hey, what you think about Desmond in Teenwolf universe? Like him working there in bar and eventually help gang with supernatural problems(because well he can fight and doesn't want these teenagers die?)

Oh, man. I was into Teen Wolf years ago so let’s see what we can do with this one.

First of all, we’ll put Desmond in the gap between Season 1 and 2. Why?

Because he’s there to investigate the killings of Season 1. It’s a personal thing.

Well…

It’s connected to Ratonhnhaké:ton because his Bleed of Ratonhnhaké:ton makes him believe that there is something familiar with the way those people were killed by a ‘wild animal’.

He’s not sure if it’s related to a POE though but it’s worth investigating (we will also be moving the timeline of Teen Wolf so S1 happened in 2013 instead of 2011 and this is after Desmond saves the world from the Solar Flare)

The real reason why he’s there though is because he’s supposed to be hiding. After his attack on Abstergo’s Rome facility, Interpol has been on his tail so he needs to lay low for a bit.

We’re also placing him between S1 and S2 so there’s some time for him to integrate himself to the plot. Specifically, he’s working in the Jungle where the problematic teenagers would get themselves in trouble later when the hunt of the Kanima starts.

That’s also when he becomes entangled with the plot because he’s been researching about the ‘new’ killings happening all around Beacon Hills and, Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, there were a lot of reds calling themselves ‘hunters’.

Desmond has a feeling that something more was going on.

In this one, Desmond actually spots the teenagers as they enter Jungle because he’s been a bartender long enough to spot problems (and Jungle doesn’t want problem, especially since being a gay club means they’re not unused to some… annoying flies) so he pats the other person working the bar with him, which is a silent signal that he was going to switch to being the teenage bouncer and give their actual bouncer another scolding (seriously, he doesn’t care if sweet boy Danny is planning to graduate early or whatever, he’s still in highschool)

Then he feels it.

Something about these teenagers that alerts him. A ghost of a Bleed from Ratonhnhaké:ton…

And then the Kamina attacks and all hell breaks loose.

Unorganized Notes:

Would absolutely push himself into Derek’s little pack because he sees the cool front that Derek is showing and calls bullshit on it. He doesn’t know they’re werewolves yet but he knows something is up and Derek’s pack has information. Caring for the pack later on was not the plan.

He sees Erica, Boyd and Isaac as recruits in need of care. Derek is annoyed with him though because he keeps butting in to tell him to be nicer or to explain it more and- Desmond has no idea what a Stiles is but he’s probably being insulted, the asshole.

He does learn what a Stiles is because Stiles annoyed him by visiting the club repeatedly. The Drag Queens love him and has adopted him and has band together to stop Desmond from throwing his underage ass out.

Stiles is the one who spills the whole werewolf hunter thing because he thought Desmond’s strange mannerism (“It reminds me of my dad but like… more spec ops?” “You play too many video games, squirt.”) might mean he’s a hunter.

Oh and Stiles being in the club a lot? Yeah. Sheriff Stilinski gets into this whole mess because he’s sus of Desmond. It doesn’t help that Desmond has been teaching Stiles a few tips of how to fight (“Why… why do you know that you should kick off the tail lights of a car if you’re inside the trunk?” “My dad’s a cop, dude. I know how to shoot too. Wanna see?” “With your flailing limbs? Nah, I’m good”)

Desmond is an annoying older brother to both Derek and Stiles. The pack loves him for it.

Scott thinks he’s cool too but he’s a bit wary of him since he’s close to Derek. He’s also worried that he’s being used to pull Stiles to Derek’s pack.

But that’s not really Desmond’s problem at the moment because the Bleed of Ratonhnhaké:ton he’s been ‘feeling’?

That’s because Ratonhnhaké:ton has confronted werewolf hunters before. To be more exact, the Argents during his time in France. Arno Dorian is actually the one who got the wrath of the Argents but that extends to the Brotherhood in general.

The Argents are not Templars but they definitely don’t like the Brotherhood. And Gerard Argent? He has a feeling an Assassin is snooping around their hunting ground. It’s only a matter of time before he finds the rat.

[gamerbunny1996]

Anxiety

Sitting at your computer you are about to start a stream with a few others. One being Schlatt. You get so excited every time you guys get to do a stream together. You're always so shy though, having a hard time talking to him sometimes. Starting the live you do your intro waiting for all the fans to pile in.

Seeing everyone in discord you jumped in. “Hello y/n” Ted said in a sing-song voice. “Hi,” you said back. “So what we have planned you just told me to join in discord” swagger said. Jackmanifold jumped in “I thought of doing a big you laugh you lose live stream” you smile at his excitement. “The rules are different then my normal ones. This time we have to make each other laugh” he said.

“I don't think I've ever heard y/n laugh,” Schlatt said. “Really I hear it all the time,” Ted replied to schlatt. “I bet it's an ugly laugh that's why she never laughs in front of me” you were shocked by his words he never talks bad about you ever even in a joking manner. “I don't think I do,” you tried to argue. “Then why have I never heard it then” he asked. “Ummmm… I don't really know maybe because you're not that funny” you kinda lied at the end you find him hilarious but you're always so shy and quiet he probably just never noticed you laughing at him. “That's a lie and you know it,” he said. “Alright you two let's start the challenge before the live goes on too long” Jack butted in. “I have a wheel here of all are names and who ever it lands on has to try and make the rest of us laugh”

You start to get nervous you don't even know where to begin on making people laugh you only know dark jokes. “Alright let's see who it's going to be” Jack spun the wheel. It goes around a few times until it lands on your name. Of course, just your luck. “Well I'm not good at this,” you said. “Just try, I know you can do it,” Ted said to you. “Okay I'm sorry for any jokes I speak. What's a depressed kid's favorite thing to do” you asked. Everyone said what. “They like just hanging around,” you said, trying not to laugh at yourself. All their eyes widened. “That was dark,” swagger said. “Yeah I only know dark jokes” you said trying to hide your face in embarrassment. “You need so much help mentally” Schlatt said.

The game went on and you just kinda stayed quiet the wheel has yet to land on you again. Thankfully. You wanted to die from the amount of embarrassment you are feeling. “Y/n you have yet to laugh come on there has to be something to make you laugh” Jack said. “I should just go, I'm just embarrassing myself more and more” you go to the end stream and discord. “Ha pussy” you heard schlatt say right when you hit the end call. Why was this upsetting you so much? You tell dark jokes all the time and you never have a problem other than people questioning your sanity. Like just hearing schlatt make rude comments to you and not finding your stupid joke funny now leaving because you just couldn't laugh. Everything started to get overwhelming.

A notification happened on discord you go look who's it from. Ted's name came on screen asking if I'm okay. “I don't know just some reason my anxiety is hitting hard after I told that joke” you send to Ted. It didn't take long for him to reply “that's weird it was a pretty funny joke even if it was dark.” He replied back to you. Smiling to yourself makes you feel better. “Weird question” you send

“What?” he replied. “Do you know why Schlatt is being so mean he is never this mean to me” you send scared he will poke at you for asking about schlatt. “No I don't. Why do you ask anyway” he replied. Scared you didn't know how to reply.

You put your fingers on the keys and started to type away just to get it over with. “Well, how do I put this? I really like Schlatt a lot and he was always so nice to me and mean to others I thought maybe he liked me too or something I don't really know” you hesitated to send. Taking a deep breath you sent it. It felt like forever for Ted to reply back. “Aw, how cute. I wish I could help but I don't even know Schlatt can be very private sometimes but you're right it's weird how all of a sudden he just starts to be mean to you. He hasn't said anything about you since you left.” He replied to you.

Starting to tear up from frustration and emotions. You don't really understand why you're feeling this way. Just wanting him to like you back. You decide to take a break on live streams and social media maybe it's your anxiety taking over. “I think I'm taking a break from everything for a little bit. My anxiety is going crazy and I need a few weeks to myself and maybe try and figure out this whole Schlatt thing” you sent to Ted. Taking a deep breath you start to shut everything down and leaving discord up to see when Ted replies back. Waiting for him you start to write a little letter for all your fans so they know you're taking a break for a few weeks. Posting it on all social media he sighs out looking back up at your monitor. “Please take a break if you need it. We will talk everyday you're gonna keep me updated on your little crush, life got it” you can almost hear him say this in a sassy voice making you laugh a little to yourself.

Closing discord you turn off the whole computer and monitors. Getting up you walk into the bathroom ready for a nice shower. Hoping to calm your thoughts. Right before you step in you hear you phone go off. Checking it to see who texted you.

Schlatt❤️: Why did you leave the stream today?

Toots: my anxiety got to much

Schlatt❤️: you want to talk about it?

Toots: Not really

Schlatt❤️: well I'm here if you want to talk

Toots:okay :l

You turned your phone off and hopped into the shower. Feeling the hot water poor over you. Enjoying the warmth your head went to your message just barely with schlatt. Why does he care all of a sudden? This is so strange it's making you upset. Turning off the water you got out. Drying off you looked at your phone. You wanted to see if schlatt replied. You wanted to text him so bad to come over so you could hug him and cry. You wanted to do so much but just couldn't do it.

Getting dressed you grabbed your phone and went into your room. Sitting on your bed you finally decided to turn your phone on to see if he texted back.

Schlatt❤️: I think you do

Taking a deep breath you turned your phone off leaving him on read. What do you say at this point? That you're in love with him and you want to hug and kiss him to make everything better. Soon your phone went off again.

Schlatt ❤️: don't leave me on read

You smile at that. But you still couldn't text him. It just felt so wrong.

Schlatt❤️:y/n

Schlatt❤️:toots

Schlatt❤️: dumbass answer me

Soon your phone started to ring. He was calling you. Panicking, you threw the phone. Thankfully It landed at the end of the bed. It went silent. Sighing in relief. You went to grab your phone but it started to ring again. You decide to just get it over with and answer the call. Before you could say hello Schlatt started yelling at you. “What the hell you kept leaving me on read then didn't answer the call. You should be ashamed. I'm trying to me a nice friend and you do this what the hell is going on” tearing up you broke down crying feeling bad for being so mean to Schlatt. “Oh wait don't cry sorry didn't mean to yell at you please calm down” he started to freak out not knowing what to do.

“You…. So…. Mean….stream” you cry out only a few words. Barely being able to breathe from all the crying. It just wouldn't stop no matter how hard you try. “Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be I was just joking around please stop crying” you sniffled out finally being able to calm down a little. Once you can breathe again and only tears fall once in a while, you speak. “I'm sorry I don't really know what wrong my emotions are all over the place my anxiety is hitting pretty hard” you try to explain but leaving the part out of you just want to date the man. “It's okay, is there any reason why your anxiety is so bad?” he tried to help but he just can not know. “No” is all you said. “You want me to come over and we can watch a movie to distract you” your eyes widen. Staying silent you had no idea how to answer. Finally you just agreed. “Perfect I'll be over in 15 minutes or so” he hung up the phone. Now what are you going to do? Your crush coming over your face is a mess from crying so hard. Getting up you grab a few blankets and head to the living room. Placing them on the couch you go put some popcorn in the microwave. Waiting for it you pull out your popcorn bowl and some salt. Once it was done you pulled it out and poured it into the bowl. Putting salt all over it. Taking it to the living room you place it down on the coffee table. Turning on your TV you waited for Schlatt to come. You started to bounce your knee. Anxiety taking over your body. You were so lost in thought you didn't realize the door knocking. After a few seconds you snap out of it and went to answer the door.

Schlatt stood there with two bags. Letting him in. “I brought snacks and drinks,” he said, placing the bags on the table. “That was nice of you” you told him. He sat on the couch patting the seat next to him. He walks over sitting next to him as far as you can without him noticing. He did notice and didn't like it so he grabbed you shoulder and dragged you into his side. Laying a blanket over the both of you he turned on your favorite movie. Your eyes widen from shock that he remembered your favorite movie. You grabbed the bag of snacks and seen it had all your favorites. Looking at Schlatt on shock. “What?” He asked lifting and eyebrow. “You remembered all my favorite stuff” you said to him. “Yeah of course why wouldn't I” he said. “I don't know just people don't usually remember these things about me” you told. “Well I remembered” he said. A smile grew on your face. “thank you,for everything your so sweet to me” I told him. “Yeah well maybe that's because I like you” your eyes grew wide. You didn't know what to say or do just stare at him in shock. He just rolled his eyes smashing his lips into yours. You relaxed a little and kissed back. Pulling away you buried your face into his chest embarrassed. You can feel him laugh a little. Smiling to yourself you spoke into his chest. “I like you too” feeling him wrap his arm around you. “I know” is all he said. Looking up at him “how” he smiled at you. “You are way more obvious than you think you are '' blushing you turn to the TV trying to hide your face from him. He pulled you close to him. You enjoyed being so close to him. This was exactly what you wanted.

[erwinsvow]

Sorry babe but my brain isn’t shutting off… a very original rafe and jj love triangle is plaguing my mind

I’m thinking the midsummers drama is about kook reader

Maybe she’s new to town like family moved to obx cause her dad became partners with ward which gave Rafe easier access to you than jj but how can you not immediately be charmed by him when Sarah brings you around to meet her friends??

- 💓

stop cuz this is where the real fucking tea is. it’s so obvious they both want u and they’re getting fucking jealous of the other… can easily imagine falling for rafe he’s so mean!!! sometimes barely gives u any attention and when he does he’s always like pushing you against a wall and making out with you or like honest to god fingering you in the bathroom w his family and ur family next door. then he pockets ur panties and sends you back out there without them. he’s such a menace but it’s so hard to stay away from him 😣sometimes he’s real sweet n obviously spoils you like crazy!! parades you around his friends, gives you rules to follow which you always do (like no drinking without his permission/talking to strangers etc). rafe is so territorial and possessive so to him you’re his already. however he never made anything official… which is where jj comes in.

it’s like when rafe makes you sad or ignores you for work or business or whatever you just go spend time with sarah, not knowing many people here but getting friendly with her since you’re over at tannyhill a bunch! she takes you out with her friends who are so different than what you expected! n rafe is always warning you about the wrong side of the island and those dirty pogues you need to stay away from.. but they’re not mean at all! they’re nothing like what he said, so sweet and inviting and funny. they’re all nice but jj is the nicest of course.

and jj i mean he’s a player so he can’t help his reaction to a new pretty girl hanging around his friends, getting along with everyone being awfully friendly and sweet for a kook. he thinks you must have a crush on him too, with the way you flounder around in your tiny sundresses and teeny bikinis at the beach. it’s not long before he’s taking you off on early morning surf lessons (and he loves to sleep in, so this means something), ditching smoke seshs with his friends to come sit with you on the beach or something, ignoring the fact that he has 100% seen you hanging round with rafe cameron recently when he’s making out with you and you’re crawling into his lap in the back of the Twinkie.

i so forgot about midsummers!!!!! yes it would be so juicy, seeing you all dolled up in a short dress, obviously you accompany rafe but when he stalks off to go have “serious, proactive conversations” you find jayj and get real tipsy over glasses of champagne with him. rafe sees red and jj is just screaming at him to let you make your own choice. at midsummers there was beef n tension n chasing but they wouldn’t start swinging just yet.

and you, i mean there’s nothing better than having the attention of a boy you really like but TWO. ur probably going crazy but you don’t realize how impacted rafe n jj are, literally butting heads and almost fist fighting everytime they see each other or see you with the other. you’ll be out at lunch with rafe playing footsie under the table, whining because he left you again to do work while he’s trying to apologize when you see jj—and start waving. jj of course comes to the table and gets comfortable, probably eats something off of rafe’s plate. you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and when you get back there’s definitely broken glasses and thrown silverware.

similarly when you’re on the beach with jj, if you see rafes truck pull up you go to say hi, and jj follows behind you, HATING the way rafe’s staring at your practically naked body in a tiny bikini because you are his girl, and he says as much.

“stop being a creep and starin’ at my girl, cameron. go find someone else to bother.” and you look back at jj, smiling all dopey because he just called you his.

“your girl? that’s real funny. she’s my girl, right babe?” and then you look at rafe, face burning with embarrassment. they start bickering back and forth while you stand there looking at both of them and feeling your head spin. this is when they finally start throwing punches, both of them rustling in the sand and ending up with bruises n black eyes.

you’d finally throw in the towel and start crying (typical shea reader insert 🙄) n of course they blame each other but then feel terrible, awkwardly scratching the back of their head while you sob about how i hate fighting!! i don’t wanna fight i love you both why can’t we just be happy together!!

jj n rafe lock eyes. they can clearlyyyyy tell what you need right now to feel better. so obviously they throw you into rafe’s truck, drive to a secluded part of the shore, and take turns fucking you on the bed of his truck <3 lol