#probably need to come up with an official title for this series

[yeonzzzn]

✨all my little stars: park jongseong

epilogue for no limits duology | the limits series

pairing: jay x afab!reader word count: 3.2k

synopsis: jay’s world spins faster after finding out of your pregnancy and making the preparations for the life you both created with a mixture of the normal chaos and the unexpected.

genre: established relationship, blonde!jay, uncle!jay, fluffy, suggestive.

warnings: swearing, the boys being down bad (as usual), mentions of sex, pregnancy mentions, that’s probably it ♡

★ this is an epilogue of the spin-off to the main series, please read off limits / parts 1-2 to this spin-off before reading this one. they are tagged under the title ★

•·.·no limits spotify playlist'·.·•

“C-can you repeat that?” Jay’s throat went dry and his hands were shaking and his knees weak. 

The doctor smiles at him, “I said, congrats Dad, you’re having twins.” 

Twins? Jay couldn’t believe it. If it weren’t for the handrails he held a grip on the bed you laid in, he would have completely fallen to the floor at the news. 

The surprising thing is, you weren’t even shocked. You saw it coming with how big your baby bump was. Mostly with Jay’s sister also being pregnant, her bump was of normal size. At first, you thought maybe your baby was growing a lot bigger than you’d thought, but as the days went on…it became obvious you were carrying more than one life. 

Jay on the other hand looked like he was fixing to have a heart attack. You were genuinely worried for your fiancé until he looked over at you and his lips curled into a smile. 

“Twins,” he chuckles and smiles wider, “Baby, we’re having twins,” Jay took your hands in his, placing kisses on their tops then placing a kiss on your forehead, resting his head against yours and rubbing the pads of his thumbs in your palms, “I couldn’t be happier.” 

But oh man did the boys not let Jay live this down. 

Jay’s sister took you and her out for some much-needed girl time for dinner and shopping, while Jay stayed behind at the apartment. 

“BROTHER NO FUCKING WAY!! TWINS?!?” Heeseung laughed, slapping the back of his friend, “We get rid of Jake and __ just for them to be replaced.” 

Jay dropped his head into his palms, “I’m so happy over it that I'm exhausted. But it was also such a shock.” 

Heeseung was now running his hand up and down his back, “All jokes aside, I am happy for you man, this is great news.” 

Jake nodded, standing from the solo recliner and ruffling Jay’s hair, “Just think our little Hwa will have not just two, but THREE family members to grow up with.” 

Jay chuckled and sat back on the couch, his smile going from ear to ear. He was genuinely so happy. Twins?? He still couldn’t believe it. And the timing of his sister and you being pregnant at the same time was even more perfect. His children will get to grow up with hers, and neither of the four would be alone. 

Jay let out a yawn, “Jesus. Jake, is this how you felt about the first check-up you and my sister went to for Hwa?” 

Jake let out a soft groan and also leaned back, “Yes. I was shaking so badly and my ears were ringing. But it’s such a happy feeling at the same time.” 

Jay nodded, taking a good long look at his best friend/brother-in-law, his eyes widening as he stood quickly to his feet, causing every male to stare up at up. 

“You good?” Sunghoon asked, “Did having twins get to ya or something?” 

Jay shakes his head, “No. I just realized I need to move YN in, like now.” 

It was the one thing both you and Jay kept putting off. Specifically because of your parents, or well, father. If your father didn’t like Jay when they first met, he sure as hell didn’t like him now. From what you have told Jay, he already isn’t happy about the engagement or the pregnancy or moving out. But it is what it is. Jay didn’t care, he had you and that’s all that mattered to him. 

Sunghoon whistles, “Guess this place will be crowded until Jake and __ officially move out.” 

Jake smirked, “And guess who all is going to help move YN in and us out because the two females are pregnant?” 

Jay also smirked and glanced down at Heeseung and Sunghoon. 

The two males looked at each other, communicating silently. 

“Nah,” Jake said, his Aussie accent coming out thick, “You two aren’t getting out of this!” 

And they didn’t. You and __ sat on the couch with smiles on both your faces as you watched your men do all the work. Even Hwa was clapping and cheering the men on. It was adorable. 

Before you knew it, you broke the lease for your apartment, had everything cleaned out, and officially moved in with Jay. It was meant to be this way, and long overdue. 

The first night with Jake, __, and Hwa gone was too quiet. Jay rolled over onto his back and exhaled out. 

“What’s on your mind, my love?” you asked, not moving from the position you were lying in but shifting just enough to look at his face. 

“Did I wake you up?” he asked, tilting his face towards you. You shake your head, waiting for his response to your question, “It’s just…quiet.” 

You smile at him, reaching your hand over and running your fingers through his blonde hair, “You’ll just have to get used to it, it’ll be okay.” 

Jay closed his eyes as you continued to run your fingers in his hair, and sighed at the loss of your touch and seeing you roll back over. Jay moved to his side and pressed his chest to your back, hand slipping under your night shirt and rubbing at your pregnant tummy, his lips making home against your neck. 

“We can always make some noise of our own,” he whispers against your neck, now sliding his hand down to the waistband of your shorts, “You’re so sexy pregnant.” 

You chuckle at the feeling of his cock twitching against your back, leaning into him and tilting your head to give him more access to your neck, “Do you want to make some noise?” 

He laughs against your skin, slowly pulling down your shorts and panties, “Always.” 

—

Time seemed to have flown by too quickly. Every day it's getting harder and harder to do normal daily activities and the males of the apartment forcing you to basically be a couch potato. When Jay wasn’t home to help take care of you, Heeseung or Sunghoon was always around to help out in any way they could. You always felt terrible, but they didn’t mind. They did this for __ when she was pregnant with Hwa. 

But at the same time, you couldn’t complain. It gave you time to plan your and Jay’s wedding. The best thing is that you didn’t have to worry about catering for food or flowers since you and Jay both own a restaurant and flower shop. Saves a lot of money. 

Months passed and __ finally was rushed to the hospital to birth to her and Jake’s second child. And to Jake’s lucky stars, they had a baby boy: Ha-Yoon Sim. 

Jay slapped the back of his best friend’s back, “You got so lucky having a boy.” 

Jake gripped the bed rails of his wife's bed, sweat rolling down his face as he stared at her with their baby boy, “You’re telling me.” 

You stood on the other side of her bed, running your finger on his cheek, a small yawn escaping his lips, “Gosh, he’s a spitting image of Jake,” you giggled to her. 

She lifts Ha-Yoon up, rubbing her cheek against his forehead, “Both of my kids look way too much like their father.” 

Jake tilts his head, “You say that like it’s a bad thing?” 

Jay takes a good look at his nephew and laughs, “Still has the Park nose too.” 

Sunghoon shakes his head with a wide smile, “I don’t think either of you will ever get away from the Park's nose.” 

“Ma,” Hwa softly said, clinging her hands to Heeseung’s shirt as he held her in his arms. Her eyes carefully watched her mother and baby brother. 

“Wanna see your new brother?” Heeseung asked, brushing his nose against her cheek and making her giggle. 

“Hee,” she giggles more, now brushing her nose against his cheek. 

“Bring her over,” Jake reached his arms out for his daughter, Heeseung transferring her over. Jake leans Hwa over the rail, her eyes staring down at her brother, “This is Ha-Yoon,” Jake kisses her cheek, “This is your little brother.” Hwa’s lips tried to speak the word brother, she looked over at Jake with a confused look, “Brother,” He said again with a smile. 

“Frother,” she tried, and Jake just nodded and smiled more. 

Jay was now at your side, shifting you over a bit to lean over and hug his sister, “Our little family keeps on growing. I’m proud of you, stinks.” 

With a free arm, she hugged him back, tears swelling her eyes, “I know. I love you so much, big brother.” 

Jay kissed his sister's forehead and ruffled her hair, “I’m going to teach Ha-Yoon how to play the guitar and to cook, be prepared for that.” 

She rolled her eyes but kept her smile, “Of course you will.” 

Watching your family smile and laugh had you placing your hands on your tummy, being excited to meet your twins and grow this family even more. 

Jake glanced up at you, seeing how you trace and look at your pregnant belly and he couldn’t help but smile even more, “You’ll be due in two months, ya?” 

You look up at him and nod, “That or sooner.” Jay was now wrapping his arm around your waist and placing a hand in the middle of your belly and kissing your temple. 

Jake shifted his eyes to Jay and then back to you, “I can’t wait to meet my nieces.” 

Jay whipped his head to his best friend, tilting it to the side and glaring at him, “You want me to fold, don’t you?” 

His sister scoffs, “You’re so girl dad, big brother.” 

Jay looked between his sister and Jake, “You both are manifesting girls aren’t you?!” 

Heeseung pulled up a chair and leaned his elbows onto the bed, “Jay, just accept you’re having twin girls.” 

Sunghoon added, “Both Jake and yourself have shitty luck, you’re going to have girls.” 

“There’s still time!” Jay said with a sigh, leaning his head against yours. Jay wouldn’t mind girls, he’ll love his children regardless of gender. He just knew it would be over for him. If he thought it was bad when Hwa was born…it would be worse when you give birth. 

And finally, that fateful day arrived. 

Jay held your hand, squeezing it tightly as you pushed. Sweat rolled down the sides of your face, holding your breath with each push. 

“That’s it, keep pushing, YN,” Jay said, wiping the sweat off your face, “Keep taking deep breaths, my love. You’re so strong.” 

You flung your head back onto the pillow, gritting your teeth and using every ounce of strength you had to push out the bundles of life. 

“Good, good,” the doctor said, “Baby number one is almost there.” 

Jay rested his head on yours, his knuckles turning white from the grip he had on your hand as you squeezed back tighter. You didn’t take another breath until crying filled the hospital room. 

“One baby out, keep up the pace, YN,” the doctor said, her smile wide as she looked up to you and Jay, “One baby to go.” 

Jay pressed a kiss to your brow, “Almost there my rose petal, keep fighting.” 

You took a few deep breaths and nodded, pushing with all your might, a pained groan leaving your lips as your second baby finally made its way into the outside world. 

“Congratulations parents, you did it!” the doctor said, taking your second child to be bathed and cleaned up. 

Jay chuckled, his smile big, forehead still resting against yours, “It was all her, I’m just here for support.” 

“Your support still did something,” one of the nurses said, walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder, “Want to come meet your daughters?” 

Daughters. Everyone was right. He was done for. 

Jay swallowed and nervously nodded, “Yes, please.” 

The nurse smiled and led him over to the table where his daughters lay side by side, their sobs stopping the minute Jay reached the table, their brown eyes staring back at him. 

His whole body shook, hands trembling and knees weak. He gripped the table, trying to steady himself from falling over. His girls…these are his girls. Two lives he helped create. Two lives that are now his entire world and more. His knees buckled, the nurse taking to his left and helping him regain his balance. 

“Everything okay?” you asked out of breath, concern filling you as you watched your boyfriend nearly fall over. 

Jay nodded, tears swelling his eyes as he gently traced his fingers down his twin's faces, “They are so perfect.”

“Want to hold them?” the nurse asked, “I can help.” 

Jay nodded quickly, wanting nothing more than to hold his baby girls. 

He picked one up, reaching his other arm out to take the second from the nurse, holding them closely to his chest and walking over to you, “Baby,” he sniffled but held his smile, “They are so beautiful.” 

You sat up the best you could, reaching your hands out, “Gimme, please.” 

Jay placed one of your daughters in your arms, “This is Aera,” he smiled, then held up your second daughter to his face, kissing her forehead, “And this is Hana,” then placed her in your other arm. 

“Aera and Hana Park,” you smile, tears swelling your eyes and slowly falling, “They are perfect.” The minute Jay held his daughters' gaze he knew their names for them were perfect.

He watched as you cuddled Aera and Hana to your chest, placing kisses on their small faces. 

And that was all it took for him to crumble. Tears streamed down his face as his imaginable barrier of protection was placed over the three of you. Jay leaned over the bed, wrapping the three of you in his arms, and cried into your hair, “My girls,” he took a shaky breath, and placed a kiss on your temple, “My sweet girls, I love you all so fucking much,” He leaned back but kept his arms tight around you three and connected his lips to yours, breathing you in to stabilize him, “My rose petal and little stars.” 

There was a knock on the hospital room door, and a nurse opening it, “Are you the family?” she asked. Jay perked up, thinking his parents, sister, niece and nephew, and best friends arrived, only for his smile to fade at hearing a voice he didn’t want to. 

“Yes,” the man said, “I am the father of the one who gave birth.” 

The one who gave birth huh? Can’t even call her your daughter. 

The nurse let your father and mother in the room, Jay quickly stood upright and walked to the edge of the bed, his protective nature coming out. 

Your father stopped a good distance away from Jay, your mother standing right behind him. 

Jay gritted his teeth, “If you’re here to play some kind of sick fucking game, get the fuck out!” 

You didn’t even stop him for his outburst. It was well deserved. Mostly after the fit your father threw once you broke the lease to your old apartment and the way he got upset over finding out you was pregnant. You held your daughters closer. 

Your father sighed and looked to the floor, “I didn’t come to start any fights.” 

Jay clenched his fists, “Then why are you here?” 

He glanced up at Jay and took a few steps forward, placing his hands on his shoulders. It took everything in Jay to not push him off. 

“I want to be in my grandchildren’s lives, after thinking long and hard, I knew if I continued down this path I would have not only lost my daughter, but my grandchildren.” 

Jay looked back at you, your eyes wide as you stared at your father, waiting for you to respond. But you never did. 

He looked at your father, “I think she needs time,” and your father nodded. 

“Anything she needs, I will do,” he squeezed Jay’s shoulders and then gave them a slight tap, “Welcome to the family, son.” 

Your parents walked to the door, giving you one last look then walked out. 

You didn’t realize how long you held your breath until Jay was back at your side and pushing your hair from your face, “YN, breathe.” 

You looked up at him, “Why did it take birthing my children for him to decide to change?” 

Jay continued running his hands through your hair, “Sometimes it takes something great coming into the world to change everything,” he looked down at his daughters, “The minute I looked at our girls, everything changed for me. My life has a greater purpose. I’m sure he felt the same.” 

You just nodded looking down at your girls. You weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive your father, but the fact he showed up was a start. 

Another knock happened on the door, the nurse giving you and Jay a concerned look as she went to the door, barely sliding it open and peeking out, “Are you family?” 

“Hell yeah, we are! I’m ready to meet my nieces!” 

Jay exhausted out a sigh at the word choice his sister decided to make. 

The nurse stepped to the side, his sister rushing in with Jake carrying Hwa in one arm, and Ha-Yoon in his car seat carrier in Jake’s other hand. Heeseung and Sunghoon trail in after along with Jay’s parents. 

“No one even told you guys I had girls,” Jay teased, reaching out to hug his sister. 

“No one had to,” she teased back, squeezing him tightly, “We already knew.” 

She practically shoved Jay out of the way to run to your bedside, “YNNIE!!” she cheered, leaning at your side to get a look at your girls, “Oh my god they look exactly like my brother!! They have the Park noses too!!” 

Hwa stretched her arms out, “Jay!” her sweet voice coos, Jay taking his niece in his arms and then reaching out to hug Jake. 

“Can’t get away from the Park nose,” Jake said with a smile, hugging Jay tightly, “Congratulations, brother.” 

“Thanks, man, it means so much.” 

Heeseung and Sunghoon were next to hug Jay, then his parents, each of them smiling wide and giving their congratulations. 

“Babies!” Hwa said, pointing at you and her cousins. 

“That’s right!” Jay said with excitement, “You want to meet your cousins?” 

She smiled and nodded, “Cousins!” 

You smiled at little Hwa when Jay sat her on the bed at your side, holding her shoulders, “Hi Hwa,” you said softly, “This is Aera and Hana.” 

Hwa smiles and lifts to her knees, little hands placed against yours that hold the girls, “Family!” 

“That’s right, sweet girl,” her mother sniffled, “We are a big family.” 

Everyone crowded around your bedside, each taking turns holding both of your girls. 

You looked between each of them, tears falling down your face. Family. This is your family. 

Jay pressed a kiss to your cheek, “Nothing can get better than this.” 

You nodded, pulling him into a tight hug. Nothing could beat this.

‧₊˚✧THE END✧˚₊‧

— perm tlist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle

@jwnghyuns @in-somnias-world @zyvlxqht @aaa-sia

@wonniethepoo @addictedtohobi @eneiyri @skzenhalove

@fakeuwus @cherry-park @vousty @ladyartemesia @criminalyun

@cmoundiamante @enhaverse713586 @wondipity @lhsvibez

@jaeyunq @rikizm @kaykay11sworld @pockettwinzz @vixialuvs

@seunghancore @enha-cafe @ppanghoon @sunpov @zeeloveshee

@hxxsxxng @moonrisearies @brownsugarbaybee @nshmrarki @vveebee @teddybeartaetae @kookify @abysofsteel @aileeeeeeeeeeeee

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Welcome! Request are Currently Closed

I post a lot of polls, all in the name of some good fun. Please stick to the rules. If you made a request I'm getting to it but I am a full-time college student so I am very busy.

Propaganda is welcomed. However, please be respectful.

Disclaimer: My rules state characters must be canonically over the age of 15 or assumed high schooler or adult. Now that means minors can and probably will be matched up against each other and against 18+ characters. Please don't come at me about that choice. These characters are fictional. You can't hurt them, and a blog like this isn't going to normalize preying on minors. YES, it's wrong in real life, but anime teenagers are not normal teenagers. I literally just finished an anime about an assassin trying to get back to his wife. He was 16 and had a wife. I swore he was at least 20, but sometimes anime ages don't make sense. Please don't start anything, or I will start blocking. But for those of you who don't want to participate in those polls, I will tag them with #minor poll so you can block all polls that have confirmed 15-17-year-old characters. So if you have a problem with this decision, block the tag and don't participate. Don't start crap I have ways of punishing people even if they cause issues anonymously that's why there is fandom jail.

Now, that does mean please, in your request, mark that there is a 15-17-year-old so I can add the special tag for the sake of everyone that doesn't want to participate in these polls. To clarify, if they started the series at 14 and ended the series at 16, they will still qualify for my polls.

Now if you see a character that is a minor and the poll is not tagged, please let me know. You can politely leave a comment or shoot me an ask and I will add the tag. Some people are not the best at letting me know their poll has a minor in it and needs the tag when they request

Characters, where age verification is complicated due to magic, time travel, other universe shenanigans, or the immortal child trope are accepted on a case-by-case basis and will be tagged with the #schrodingers minor just to be safe

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Polls that contain spoilers relating to any fandom will be marked with the tag #spoiler poll so you can go ahead and block it now Now if you see a poll that contains a spoiler you can leave a comment and I will mark it. People are also terrible at letting me know if things are spoilers.

Not sure if the show counts here. Is it a list of cartoons and anime-like shows and if can they be requested before you ask

Please be aware sometimes people are degenerate and love to respond to things, with unhinged thirst so those posts will be tagged with #spicy or #nsft if you would like to block those tags

Non-Poll Series

These can all be found under their respective title tags

Poll Analysis, where I write down my thoughts about observations I have made about fandom behaviors and trends because some of you guys have interesting behavioral patterns, and I read every tag and comment left on my polls

Nicknames and Funny Tags, where I collect All those creative tags and comments that have been left on my polls for your viewing pleasure. I have posts dedicated to specific fandoms and their creativity, which I update whenever I have time

Fandoms vs Illiteracy, where I publish one of the many essays I receive asking me to ban certain characters or fandoms and due to their problematic nature or other stupid reasons. This can sometimes turn into a fierce debate

Defend Your Blurbo, my bi-weekly series discussing how some people can find (insert Blorbo of the week) attractive. This can be funny. This can be stupid. Sometimes, this involves PHD level dissertations in defense of our favorite 2D characters. You never know what you're going to get. Also, look under the Defend your Blurbo response tag. That's where all my followers send their responses to the original Defend Your Blurbo post. Those can get wild! DyB Masterlist and Series rules and guidelines

The Horny Scale is a series where people ask where particular fandoms fall on the horny scale. I made details here, and the Masterlist

Defend your blurbo, and horny scale entries can be sent at any time

Fandom Jail, aka the Wall of Shame

All fandoms listed below are serving their jail sentence due to bad behavior. Here are the dates of when you can expect to see polls from these fandoms again

The jail is empty. Everyone has been on their best behavior. Let's keep it that way

[svechnikovvv]

ever since toronto (2)

series masterlist: here

y/n.drysdale

liked by jamie.drysdale and others

y/n.drysdale everyone give an official welcome to thor

view comments

jamie.drysdale i know that side profile…

y/n.drysdale no you don’t

jamie.drysdale are you gaslighting me?

y/n.drysdale it’s only gaslight if you believe it is

jamie.drysdale i’m telling mom

y/n.drysdale you don’t scare me

jamie.drysdale i should

trevorzegras thor is my new favorite drysdale

y/n.drysdale 🤨

trevorzegras you’re right. y/n, you’ll always be my favorite drysdale 🙏

jamie.drysdale your stuff is on our doorstep trevorzegras 😊

masonmctavish23 thor kinda looks like trevor

y/n.drysdale don’t insult my dog like that

masonmctavish23 are you talking about thor or trevor?

y/n.drysdale thor

user1 that side profile looks like a certain hughes…

user2 calling it now, it’s quinn

user3 thor woke up in a new bugatti

liked by y/n.drysdale

user4 thor hughes because we ALL know that that’s quinn

jackhughes my favorite nephew

y/n.drysdale and your ONLY one

lhughes_06 cute dog 😉

y/n.drysdale this is why nobody shares secrets with you 🤦‍♀️

lhughes_06 i’ll hard launch you two rn

jamie.drysdale DO IT AND I’LL PAY YOU

y/n.drysdale jamie, go home

_quinnhughes what’s the dog doing 😧

y/n.drysdale driving, obviously 🙄

_quinnhughes is that sass, drysdale?

y/n.drysdale i don’t know. is it, hughes?

lhughes_06 yes quinn, it’s sass. y/n, stop acting clueless in your own comment section. it’s embarrassing 🙄

y/n.drysdale least favorite hughes award goes to luke!

jackhughes does that mean i’m your favorite now?

y/n.drysdale not quite, jacklynn. that title will always belong to my queen ellen 🤞

elblue6 can’t wait for you to bring thor around one day

y/n.drysdale i might come visit this weekend, so probably then!

user5 y/n, girl, we all know it’s quinn. no need to be secretive anymore

user6 soft launch, question mark

user7 y/n and quinn flirting in her comments 🫣

colecaufield i’m stealing him.

y/n.drysdale you steal my dog, i slash your tires

colecaufield jokes on you, i arrived via razor scooter

anaheimducks welcome to the fam, thor!

liked by y/n.drysdale

y/n.drysdale

liked by _quinnhughes and others

y/n.drysdale quinn hughes, my heart holds a special place for you <3

tagged: _quinnhughes

view comments

_quinnhughes you’re my favorite person. i love you so much 💙💚

y/n.drysdale 💙💚

jamie.drysdale OH MY GOD IT’S QUINN

jamie.drysdale EVERYBODY STAY CALM

y/n.drysdale you’re literally the only person freaking out right now

jamie.drysdale BECAUSE THIS IS SEEIOUS I CANT EVWN TYPYE IN FRWJAINGB OUT

y/n.drysdale now i see why trevor doesn’t let you in the house before the street lights come on

trevorzegras QUINN IS WHO YOU WONT LEAVE ME FOR??? i’m okay with this

y/n.drysdale okay z 😭

jackhughes FINALLY. i can sleep peacefully now

y/n.drysdale you’re no better than my brother 🙄

jamie.drysdale THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER y/n.drysdale

user2 I WAS RIGHT

user8 QUINN & Y/N >>>

user9 OH MY GOD. DRYSDALE & HUGHES CROSSOVER???

user10 crossover? 😭

user11 who needs the royal couple when you have y/n & quinn

masonmctavish23 they grow up so fast

y/n.drysdale did jamie make you comment this?

masonmctavish23 no comment.

trevorzegras yes he did. he said, “comment this so my sister doesn’t message me about being too dramatic again” y/n.drysdale

jamie.drysdale IM KICKING YOU OUT AND STARVING YOU trevorzegras

anaheimducks our favorite honorary duck and her canuck!

liked by y/n.drysdale

canucks our huggy found his match 💙💚

liked by y/n.drysdale

user12 THE BLUE AND GREEN HEARTS ❤️‍🩹

user13 i love this relationship

elblue6 you two are the cutest ❤️

y/n.drysdale thanks mama hughes 🫶🏻

colecaufield the cat’s out of the bag

y/n.drysdale HOW DID YOU FIND OUT??

colecaufield …LUKE DID IT

lhughes_06 thank you for making my big brother happy

y/n.drysdale you can’t sweet-talk your way out of this, little hughes

lhughes_06 watch me.

y/n.drysdale this is why ethan is my favorite

edwards.73 THANKS MOM y/n.drysdale

user14 HARD LAUNCH, EXCLAMATION POINT

_alexturcotte i’ve been waiting for this one, TURN IT UP

y/n.drysdale you’ve been listening to lizzo again, haven’t you?

_alexturcotte she just gets me

a/n: 🤭

tags: @jackhues @jackhughesily @nowandkei @starsandhughes @jhughesl0v3r @babydollmarauders @marsmcgroarty @oh-my-ladymay @whenmypartysover @hockeybabe87 @lvrzegras @calermakar

[thepersonperson]

Autism in JJK Part 1 (Isolation and Movies)

Notes before we start.

1) Read the light novels. They are the equivalent of Bleach's CFYOW for JJK. There is a fan translation (Book 1 & Book 2), but I will be citing the official translation from my own copies.

2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

3) Read the light novels.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface

Dungeon Meshi is heralded as The ultimate story of incompatible autisms. Everyone recognizes Laois and most of his party as autistic. Each of these characters are able to use their specific types of autism to solve problems throughout the series.

Laois’s autistic traits in particular have drawbacks when it comes to others’ perception of him. To directly quote one of the best Dungeon Meshi text posts on this site:

“Dungeon Meshi is about a quirked up white boy on a quest to save his sister and perhaps indulge his special interest along the way. He's a man of pure heart who has done nothing but help anyone he's met. Then part way through the story you start seeing other pov characters and it turns out every single person who has met him outside his party has read his awkward social skills and love for grilling as a sign of something deeply evil and has vowed to kill him on sight.”

Using Laois as a reference, I want to argue that Jujutsu Kaisen is the penultimate story of incompatible autisms.

Addendum/Disclaimer

I’m heavily drawing from experiences with my particular brand of autism for this analysis, so I’m bound to not properly consider everything. My words should not be taken as gospel since autism is a wide spectrum that manifests differently for each individual. Certain autistic traits will show up for one person and be completely absent in another. (And I personally think JJK does a great job of showcasing this variation.)

There is also significant overlap between Autism and ADHD which I’m not qualified to make connections with. (Basically if you have ADHD feel free to explain how you see yourself in these characters too.) There’s probably other readings that have flown over my head, but please understand I’m not trying to be malicious.

The main traits I’ll be referencing are:

Social Unawareness

Bluntness (and it being perceived as rudeness)

Taking Things Literally

Double Empathy Problem (the non-autistic and the autistic have a hard time understanding each other’s way of thinking and therefore struggle to communicate with each other)

Emotional Blindness/Alexithymia (difficulties with understanding and articulating one's emotions)

Hyperfixations

Special Interests

(Stimming is left out because of Tumblr's 30 image limit. Someone else can make that post for me.)

Mahito’s Autism

Strange title section right? Allow me to defend it. Mahtio’s Domain Expansion (DE) Self-Embodiment of Perfection is localized from 自閉円頓裹 (Jihei Endonka). The first two kanji 自閉 (Jihei) create the Japanese word for Autistic. Where 自 (Ji) is self and 閉 (Hei) is close/shut. The Japanese word for Autism is 自閉症 (Jiheisho) where 症 (sho) means disease. A very literal translation of Jiheisho is “self-shut disease”.

Equating autism to an illness that causes one to shut themselves inwards is flawed in its framework, but not wrong in describing the unique isolation autistic people face. If the kanji used didn’t clue you in, Japanese society is much more hostile to the autistic than English speaking countries. This is in part due to many autistic traits being seen as socially unacceptable for deviating too much from the norm.

There’s been a whole study on this if you want to know more. (This study allowed for self-diagnosed people to participate and included non-binary gender options, so I’m comfortable using it.) Quoted directly from the source: 

“Many autistic individuals engage in social camouflage and attempt to use social interaction to obtain job opportunities and other benefits. The aforementioned ‘need’ of autistic individuals to engage in social camouflage forces them to continuously pretend that they are non-autistic. This is associated with significant manifestations of mental health deterioration, such as depression, generalised anxiety, social anxiety, suicide attempts, and burnout because of exhaustion and fatigue.”

“Markus and Kitayama refer to Japanese and other East Asian cultures as ‘cultures of interdependence’. In these cultures, the primary challenge faced by individuals is to conform without standing out and pay more attention to others than oneself. Thus, the ‘uniqueness’ of autistic people can be perceived negatively, and it can threaten relationships and interpersonal harmony within the community.”

Now what does discrimination against autistic people have to do with Mahito? Well, everything. Mahito manifested as the hatred between humans, making them unique within the Natural Disaster Curses group. This causes friction in their relationships with the other curses, mainly Jogo.

When Dagon dies, Jogo mourns. When Hanami dies, Jogo and Dagon mourn. When Mahito learns about this? They react like this.

Totally not appropriate for the situation. You could chalk it up to them being a curse, but the other curses have already shown they’re capable of caring deeply for each other. 

This isn’t the only instance of it either. In the light novels, Mahito really gets into movies to better understand humans which results in this.

Jogo simply does not know what to do with Mahito becoming a filmbro. 

Jokes aside, Mahito is using movies and other forms of media to better understand people not like themself. And despite their efforts to better grasp emotions, this causes Mahito to become even more alienated from his peers. He’s in his own little bubble and his way of thinking is boon when fighting but a bane for his relationships. There’s something very autistic about that. 

Shared Special Interests

On the flipside, Mahito’s movie and book fascination causes them to create a bond with a blind homeless old man that lives under a bridge. But it’s only because the two of them have this interest in common.

As stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust Chapter 3: Allegory in Darkness, Mahito has canonically read Kafka. 

And that line at the end. “It makes talking to you easy.” This is the same phrase Mahito uses when grooming Junpei. Though Mahito’s relationship with Junpei is one of manipulation, it started as something rather innocent—they both went to the theater, saw the same movie, and were annoyed by the people disrupting their viewing experience.

That small connection, their shared interest in movies caused them to bond quickly and Mahito used it for manipulation. (This is not unlike how minors in fandom spaces can be groomed by the adults around them.)

Mahito learned how to be this way in part by studying media and applying it to their actions. They can’t interact with most humans 1-on-1, so their main source of understanding them is media, which gives them this warped sense of reality. Think Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. Mahito doesn’t know better because this is all they know.

It’s no wonder they conclude that humans at the core are creatures that eat, sleep, and rape (Ch 49 Pg 18 Sorry I ran out of image space). Think of how many “the joke is sexual assault” type characters there are in Japanese media alone. (Let’s not ignore how bad it gets in American 80s comedies too.)

Mahito is essentially a blank slate with no frame of reference for morals, critical analysis, or media literacy in general. It’s not very surprising they take everything at face value and then use it for evil.

And that’s why I wanted to discuss them first. Mahito is a reflection of humans and their reaction to media has echoes in how other characters, who are probably autistic, navigate their relationships with themselves and other humans. 

Itadori Yuji’s Autism

When I say Yuji is pure and the goodest boy in the world, I’m referring to the unbridled autistic joy in which he interacts with the world. He’s not much different than Laois from Dungeon Meshi. The way Yuji introduces himself to others is unhinged. He frequently does and says things that are not socially appropriate in the slightest. Whatever comes to mind first he acts on, no filter.

But being unhinged isn’t necessarily autistic. What gives this the ‘tism is the socially inept internal logic that goes into Yuji’s decision making. Dudebros may refer to it as locking in, but it is better known as hyperfocusing. You give Yuji a task and he Will complete it, anything in his way be damned.

Ijichi gave Yuji a task. Figure out if this person is an enemy and make sure nobody gets hurt. Interrupting a convo and pantsing a guy to complete this task is Yuji autistically logicing his way around setbacks. What’s a non-violent way to get someone to leave? Stealing their pants, probably. Things like social rules don’t matter if lives are at risk. 

Don’t believe that’s socially-blind autistic logic? Let me give you this guy from 4Chan and myself as an example. As a child I was told I should never lie no matter what. At 8 years old, I did something that upset my teacher. I didn’t know I had upset my teacher until I was asked to write an apology letter by my parents. So in my little pea brain, I had no reason to apologize because that would be lying. I then wrote something along the lines of, “I’m only writing this apology because my parents are making me.” (I got yelled at for this which confused me even more. What do you mean you want me to lie, mother???)

You can see this kind of logic with the finger eating especially. Yuji took Megumi’s words very literally and ate a mummified human finger because that’s what was needed to save lives. This isn’t a one off thing either, it keeps happening over and over—Yuji taking the most literal interpretation of the words spoken to him and acting on them in the most autistic way possible.

I love the Nanamin alert especially because only Idatori Yuji would think to do that. It also a neat showcase of the double-edged sword that can come from autism. Yes, Yuji effectively and quickly relays important information to his allies, but to their enemies as well. He also does it in a way that gets him bopped on the head by Megumi. Kind of like how going along with Gojo’s plans has him bullied by his classmates.

This happens a lot too—Yuji doing what others tell him to do, filling in the blanks when they fail to elaborate on the how to, and it backfiring.

There is nothing more autistic than doing exactly as you are told and getting punished for it. 

Nanami tells Yuji not to call him Nanami-sensei. But he doesn’t tell Yuji what exactly to call him instead, so he guesses. And since Yuji is socially unaware to a degree, he comes up with Nanamin instead of the Nanami-san that would’ve been more polite.

Megumi and Panda tell Yuji to lie. But lying isn’t in his nature so he really sucks at it. Pretending he doesn’t know who Gojo is because 1) he was told to lie and 2) Gojo is a part of the group Yuji is was explicitly told not show any familiarity with, is peak autism logic.

It’s all a part of Yuji’s charm though. Despite his autistic traits getting him into plenty of trouble, they also are a big reason as to why everyone loves him. 

Yuji’s Autistic Rizz

Yuji seems to mirror other people both to better understand them and because he’s relying on them to show him how he���s supposed to act. (More on that here.) Most of the time this is played for comedic effect, but sometimes it results in instant pair-bonding. I think that’s the autism-to-autism connection being made. (It’s also known as the morphogenetic field if you’ve played 999.)

Just like how Mahito used movies to bond with Junpei, Yuji does it too. But he uses this shared interest for good and provides a counter to Mahito’s grooming.

And lookie here, he can even utilize his love of movies to bond with people who aren’t into them at all. Junpei’s mom may not get it, but she’s endeared by it. This unparalleled autistic rizz is fundamental to Yuji’s character. And in my opinion, his relationship with Todo Aoi best showcases this.

Everyone knows that Todo and Yuji’s shared love of tall women with big butts is what brought them together. But what’s most overlooked is the specific tall woman with a big butt that made this possible in the first place. Before Todo even asks Yuji for his type, Yuji makes it known he is aware of who Takada is. (He happened to see her on TV as stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust Ch 4 Pgs 89–90. Ijichi is the secret Takada fan.)

Takada is who prompts Todo into asking. She is also the one who appears in Todo’s delusions, guiding him to victory and driving most of the reasons behind his actions. With great confidence I can say Todo’s special interest is Takada. (And most of the fanbase assumes he’s autistic, so I don’t feel the need to explain that more.)

And what’s crazy about his special interest of his is that it fudging works. Takada and his love for manga help Todo create successful strategies. I include his love of manga because his fakeout with Mahito is a Hunter x Hunter reference.

It’s a bit spoilers to discuss how exactly this is genius, but you’ll have to trust me when I say it’s very clever. Rather than simply nodding to the source material, Todo is using the twist reveal from that scene and subverting it to help Yuji win.

This is nearly identical to Laois utilizing his special interest monster knowledge to create victories out of what would be defeats for other characters. Todo weaponizes his autism in a way that works perfect for sorcery.

But when it comes to interpersonal relationships? It destroys them. Everyone who isn’t Yuji hates Todo. 

Todo Aoi is second to Gojo Satoru when it comes to characters considering him the greatest source of stress. (Momo, Mai, and Kamo with Kokichi dedicating pages 43–46 of CFYOW JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 2 to how much Todo stresses him out.)

They’re most annoyed with him when he talks about his special interest—Takada. She is a huge reason as to why Todo is such a good sorcerer, you could even call her The Reason he’s so good. People rely on him quite literally weaponizing his autism. But when he starts being autistic outside of sorcery? They don’t tolerate it. 

This is a recurring problem for autistic sorcerers. The very people that depend on their weaponized autism will scorn it the moment it no longer serves them directly. It’s a very Not In My Backyard (NIMBY) mentality. Sure they want all the benefits but keep the drawbacks out of their sight.

Yuji’s Loneliness

Just like Todo, Yuji suffers from social disconnect due to his autism. He feels like he struggles to understand and connect with others on a deeper level. His own feelings and other people’s feelings are sometimes a mystery to him.

On a surface level Yuji seems to be on the same wavelength as Junpei through their shared love of movies. That is until they fight each other. Yuji doesn’t understand that Junpei is acting out of grief at the start of their fight. He says something insensitive at first, but he eventually asks Junpei to spell things out so he can understand what’s going on.

It takes until the end of the Sukuna fight for Yuji to truly connect with someone—Megumi. But it’s only because they both make their feelings known directly to each other. Before that though? As discussed earlier, the autistic traits that make him good at sorcery are often off-putting to others.

I mentioned how Yuji mirrors others in what seems to be an attempt to understand others in that post I linked. In the same one I also discuss how Yuji is able to decenter himself and sync up with just about anyone. With respect to his autism, this really reads like masking to me. 

When Yuji lets that mask slip and indulges his personal hobbies, it’s a toss up on whether or not he’ll be accepted or rejected. The movies that allowed him to pairbond with Junpei don’t work for everyone. Just like Mahito with Jogo…being a filmbro causes friction with Megumi and Nobara. 

Though Yuji otherwise gets along very well with Megumi and Nobara, there is something so very relatable and sad about seeing this particular hobby of his being trashed. What’s worse is that the 2 people who would’ve matched his freak in this regard are both dead: Junpei and the one who intensified this interest of his in the first place—Gojo Satoru.

Gojo Satoru’s Autism

I must confess, this entire post got written because of this anonymous ask I was sent a while ago. I was surprised to get it since I assumed everyone understood Gojo to be autistic by default like Laois Dungeon Meshi. So I’m going to copy and paste this anon’s words because all their observations are correct.

"As someone with Autisim, I heavily identify with how he was raised (the gifted child who is too observant vs the prophesied child who was raised to be a weapon first) and the way other react around him (treating everything he says and does with disdain)

I find the way he clings so strongly to the idea of strong and weak even after Geto and Toji yet still having a sense of justice/ noticing the unfairness of it all, his sensitivity issues, his ability to notice emotional cues yet not having the means to respond in an allistic way, his tendency to take his jokes and teasing too far/ act too close to people, and the general othering of him just screams autism to me. Like can see a lot of those traits which is usually tamped down by society being exasperated because, what are you going to do, he is the strongest, you can't just tell him off in a serious way, not when, in your society, the strong rule.

I see it especially with his students, where he's taken in all the misfits and is so casual with them in day to day life. Even him throwing them in the proverbial deepend with missions is probably how he was taught by his clan before entering jujitsu tech."

And directly from Gege via the special Gojo Booklet. 

"Q25: born and raised as a high-born, he is regaled by both himself and others are the strongest, and he seems to have want of very little, but what would you consider Gojo's weakness?

A25: His personality.

Q26: what would you consider Gojo Satoru's most intrinsic strength, when you put aside his innate abilities, influence, and physical prowess? 

A26: His personality."

Thank you Gege for stating it so bluntly. The part of Gojo’s personality that is both strength and weakness. Something that makes him a great sorcerer and socially isolated. That’s the autism.

Now that we (that anon) has established that Gojo Satoru is definitely autistic, let’s go over how this has affected his interpersonal relationships.

Improper Socialization

The Gojo Booklet has forever ruined me. Deep in my heart, I knew this was going on, but to have everything confirmed so bluntly is something else. To summarize:

Gojo was born and raised in Kyoto by an extremely closed-off traditionalist family. His Clan treated him as an investment rather than a person, focusing on his education as a sorcerer and neglecting him emotionally to create the perfect living weapon. It’s implied he was educated privately and did not attend a school with other people until high school. It’s also implied that the Clan kept Gojo under strict watch while his powers developed because of the assassination attempts. Regardless, the isolation, training, and exploitation he endured was severe enough for him to break out and run away multiple times. His attendance at Jujustu Tech in Tokyo was his first time being allowed to interact with others on his own terms rather than his Clan’s.

This means that until Gojo was 15, he likely never had friends. His interactions with other humans amounted to deification, a type of objectification where he was expected to be a tool to further other people’s comfort. Essentially, up until he met Geto, he only knew how to exist as a living weapon. 

I don’t think I need to explain why this would negatively impact socialization. Anyone raised by extremely strict/abusive parents or a cult will tell you how difficult it is to try and interact with normal society after having social skills deliberately stunted for most of your life. This lack of socialization is only compounded by autism. Not only is a sheltered autistic person inclined to be socially unaware, they have no frame of reference to what is socially acceptable.

I’ll use myself as an example. The only reason I’m not completely unpalatable in conversation is because public school allowed me to observe what normal human interactions and mannerisms look like. Otherwise, I’d be like Mahito—learning about the world through the limited media I was allowed to consume. (And even then I still took it at face-value for a pretty long time.)

Gojo is sort of in the same situation as Mahito. His Clan reportedly spoiled him rotten, so he was probably allowed to have all the toys, TV, movies, books, and games he wanted between obligations. This means that it is very likely his ideas of the world at large come from media. And boy does it seem to have affected the way he is.

Trying to Connect with Others

Nanami directly compares Gojo to Mahito. Megumi straight up thinks Gojo and Yuji are the same kind of person as stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust Chapter 1: Kiyujitsu Kaisen.

So like Yuji and Mahito, Gojo will use media he’s familiar with to make sense of the world around him and hold conversations with others. (In the anime they have Gojo do the tornado kick which straight up appears to be him doing an in-verse reference to Code Geass's Suzaku Spin Kick aka the Spinzaku Kick. Please do not ask me how I recognized this.)

And would you look at that. Most people do Not know how to handle this. Not even Geto who is more visibly confused by his Digimon metaphor in the anime.

I can’t really blame them for their reactions either. Gojo is such a special combination of unfortunate circumstances and experiences that you might as well be listening to someone speak an unknown language. 

This goes both ways too. Gojo himself has a very hard time understanding others and tends to take the words of others Very Literally. (Just like Yuji!) This leads to him experiencing the Double Empathy Gap the most when compared to other autistic characters.

The Geto stuff is the most tragic to me. Gojo checked in on him and Geto lied about his feelings. To Gojo, Geto is his best friend. Why would he lie to him? Geto says he’s ok so Gojo thinks he’s ok. (That’s not even getting into the higher ups overworking them both and keeping them separate on purpose.) His upbringing and his autism made it impossible for him to read between the lines, so Geto's betrayal very much comes out of nowhere for him. 

The same happens with Shoko okaying the desecration of his corpse, Nanami calling him a pervert and everyone agreeing. Gojo truly believes that the people close to him see him in a very one-dimensional way and there’s nothing he can do about it. After all, he was raised to be a weapon and nothing more.

Funnily enough, Gojo’s Alexithymia is so bad that parts of the fandom have seemingly done the double empathy gap thing to him with respect to his flower metaphor.

“There was always a gulf between me and other people, even if they adored me. You can admire a flower and help it bloom…but you can’t ask it to understand you.”

To me, all Gojo is doing here is explaining his feelings as best he can. Floral language is a big thing in Buddhism which is probably why he makes the comparison. However…I’ve seen interpretations of this that conclude Gojo believes himself so far above others that they might as well be non-sentient plants. To them, this metaphor speaks to his arrogance rather than a clumsy/poetic attempt to communicate his feelings.

I’ll use myself as an example to explain why I think it’s just the autism in action. I often like animals way more than I do other people. Snakes, birds, lizards, spiders, and scorpions are amongst my favorites. Sometimes I compare people to these animals.

What I mean: I think highly of you! You share traits with my favorite animals and that makes me happy.

What others can hear: I think you’re stupid (lizard/bird brained), untrustworthy (a snake), and lesser than me (a bug/arachnid).

Now I could be projecting because I see my autistic traits in Gojo, but I do find it fascinating that how you view Gojo’s flower metaphor is highly dependent on how you feel about him.

Regardless, it does a great job at illustrating how isolated Gojo feels from others. Sometimes my autism makes me feel like I’m a completely different species because I can’t interact with people normally. And in Gojo's case, he can't even refer to himself as a human. The disconnect from others and his dehumanization is so strong he feels he can no longer identify as human.

No one’s autism is exactly the same, so this rift can even exist between autistic people. This is how you can get Yuji and Gojo bonding over their shared autistic traits but not fully understanding each other and feeling isolated for it.

But it’s still really sweet that they connect with movies so well that Gojo’s filmbroness rubs off on Yuji.

It’s also a little concerning that Gojo refers to these movies like a catalog for emotions. Like the proper way to experience emotions is through media and not in person.

The training Gojo subjects Yuji to with movies is likely how he was trained as a child. This suggests that for the first 15 years of his life, movies and other media might have been his only frame of reference for everything not Jujutsu Sorcery. And I mean Everything.

Combine this with The ‘Tism and this could possibly explain exactly what is wrong with Gojo Satoru. (You already know where I’m going with this.)

Gojo’s Racism

Here’s a list of movies for sure Gojo has watched. And for no reason in particular I’m going to include if they have a black person (like myself) in them.

Sourced from a Gege Interview.

Léon: The Professional (1994): Yes

The Descent (2005): No

The Host (2013): No

The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On (1987): No

Deep Blue Sea (1999): Yes

Extra movies from the anime. (Aka probably canon.)

Juggernaut (1974): No

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001): No

That's only 2 movies with black people in them. I went ahead and watched them to confirm my suspicions...

Léon: The Professional (1994)

Not much to say about the black characters here. From what I saw and the IMDb list, they're all men and they're all background characters. Also I couldn’t finish the film because of how creepy it is towards the 11 year old actress. (It's really bad. Like really, really bad. Traumatized the actress, Natalie Portman, kind of bad. Wish I had a content warning!)

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Gojo wasn't lying, the heroine died spectacularly. However in terms of spoilers, he glossed over the actual twist death. There's also someone who dies by being bit in half by a shark. And the way those legs looked like Gojo's...

There are 2 black characters in this movie. One is a jovial goofball chef who somehow survives to the end. (Miguel calls this trope out specifically in JJK 255.) There are so many points in this movie where he should've died. His name is Preacher and he has a parrot that is a Red-Crowned Amazon by the way. The other is a rich investor played by Samuel L Jackson who does Not fall into the Scary Black Man trope for once. Preacher doesn't either, he's more of a Gentle Giant.

Both of them function in the film as a subversion of the Magical Negro trope. And after watching this movie, I think Gege was inspired to make Miguel Odol fill this role too.

Anyways, the takeaways from this are 1) Black people are underrepresented in media. 2) What is representing black people in popular media isn't all that varied.

This means if media is your only exposure to black people, those representations will be internalized if you're uncritical about it. (You're reading this on Tumblr I assume you believe racism is real.) It's unconscious most of the time. People usually don't actively go, "Wow black people are all like this!" What happens is they run into a black person irl, are reminded of their impressions via visual similarity, and then say or do some out of pocket nonsense. (I have personally experienced this at the hands of Japanese tourists.)

And what does Mr. Gojo Satoru say to Miguel first? He says Miguel looks like he’ll be trouble. Later he says Miguel's strength and build are because of his race and what makes him dangerous even though Gojo knows several Japanese men with similar physiques. 

If he's never met a black man irl before...he must have gotten that idea from somewhere else. He does mention knowing the MMA star turned comedian Bobby Ologun (a big strong and goofy guy) when comparing him to Miguel.

Bobby Ologun is Nigerian. Miguel is Kenyan. Do you know how pissed East Africans get when lumped into the same category as West Africans and vice versa? (For the less informed please see Western Europe’s hatred of Slavs and other Eastern Europeans.)

But as far as Gojo knows from his media, black men are big, strong, and funny. The media he consumes also doesn’t bother to distinguish the different cultures of Africans. Dark Skin=Black and that’s it. And his dismissal of Miguel's distress over the loss of his rope only highlights that apathy towards individual cultures.

All this has terrible consequences for Miguel in the form of Benevolent Racism. This is where a prejudice that can be perceived as positive has negative outcomes for the target. Aka Gojo commits a racially motivated beatdown because of his ignorance that was fueled by the media he consumed growing up. (Miguel's Cursed Technique reminding Gojo of Toji not withstanding.)

Now I’m not saying autism makes you racist. It’s that Gojo’s isolation from the outside world, being raised by emotionally distant conservatives, and consuming media uncritically with his unique brand of autism creates the disaster that are the words coming out of his mouth.

Gojo being this kind of racist. Where he idolizes a type of strength in black people he learned from stereotypes in his movies, is great actually. I really like that Miguel calls it out and is sick of it. He even sarcastically tries to throw back the stereotypes about Japanese people to make his point too.

And guess who else only knows of black people through movies? Sukuna. He’s an art freak, there’s no way he didn’t watch some of those films Yuji was watching. And Miguel can smell it a mile away. Sukuna gives him that look and Miguel is already done with it. Honestly the way Miguel enforces his boundaries is great. He knows his limits both with risking his life and tolerating racism.

Anyways, Gojo Satoru has been running on 3 hours of sleep, sugar, and Reverse Cursed Energy like a madman for years. I don’t think he’s ever sat down and gone, “Huh? Why do I think the way I do? Why do I believe this?” Miguel is probably the first person to ever tell him, that’s racist my dude. (This is an explanation not an excuse btw.)

And that’s kind of the problem. Gojo is willing to learn and do better, but he hasn’t had the time do it on his own. Some outside force has to tell him bluntly, “Yo this isn’t socially acceptable.” (Think of how Geto influenced his morals and manners by telling Gojo exactly what he should do.)

This leads me to believe his mind is a hodgepodge of things he’s uncritically absorbed as a child and that has influenced his questionable beliefs/actions as an adult in ways he’s unable to recognize.

Gojo’s Other Problems

Outside of racism, Gojo’s most unpleasant traits include mild sexism and child endangerment. The sexism comes from how he speaks to Utahime and how treats Shoko compared to Geto. Though he otherwise does not outwardly discriminate against them, it is sus that he sees Rika, a girl transformed into a cursed spirit, and goes "Dang, women are scary." (The child endangerment is self-evident.)

For some reason, Gojo truly believes for some reason that the woman (Shoko) in his life isn’t emotionally capable of being on the same level with him as a man (Geto). This could just be a strength-based thing since Geto told him that’s why they can’t be together anymore. It’s really hard to tell. But if it really is a sexism thing, media in general being misogynistic could explain it. (On top of being raised by a traditionalist family in a society that is very sexist.)

Well-rounded female characters whose complex emotions and inner lives are explored in depth can be very hard to come by, especially in popular media. (If you want media that primarily focuses on female characters GO READ UMINEKO NOW.) A lot of the movies and manga Gojo consumes treat women as love interests first and people second. And since you’re reading this on Tumblr, you’ve probably seen posts that complain about this and how this feeds into irl interactions.

This idea comes into play with Utahime in a different way. Gojo doesn’t understand that Utahime actually hates him. This is a bit odd given that he usually takes people’s hostility towards him to heart. But a place where he could get the idea that her anger is secretly affection is…the tsundere archetype in the mangas he’s so fond of. (Gojo reads a lot of Shonen Jump, it’s no wonder he has negative rizz with women after they get past his good looks.)

Yuji does it, Todo does it, Mahito does it—they use the media they’ve consumed as a baseline for sorcery. They’re the best at what they do for it. There’s no way Gojo isn’t doing the exact same thing, especially when he’s teaching his students. He tries to fit the quirky mentor archetype who uses tough love to guide his students. (His blindfold might be an actual in-verse Kakashi Naruto reference.) And he falls into faulty logic where everything will work out if he leaves it all to his students which fulfills most Shonen story beats.

The stunt with Megumi that kickstarted this series is a 2-for-1 special. Gojo eating sweets is needed to maintain his technique. Him eating them is acting as a responsible adult. However, getting them several hundred kilometers away from his student who is in a dangerous situation is irresponsible. It may speak to how much he trusts Megumi to handle things on his own, but as an adult in charge of a child? This is very poor judgement on Gojo's end.

I also understand that Gojo's upbringing and Japan's culture (aka it's generally safe for a child to be outside alone) is probably why he's so comfortable leaving a roughed up looking child by herself. But like...he should've called someone for Hana. Maybe he did later? (Another case of is this Gege underdeveloping Hana/Tsumiki or is Gojo truly that careless towards little girls...)

Shonen is pretty notorious for uncritically putting children in situations. It probably doesn’t help that Gojo’s own family was violating multiple Japanese labor laws when putting him to work as a kid. I’m not joking about that either.

Per The Constitution of Japan (May 3, 1947) Chapter III Article 27 Paragraph 3: 

“Children shall not be exploited.”

What constitutes child labor exploitation are outlined in Japan’s Labor Standards Act (LSA) or Act No. 49 of April 7, 1947.

Per LSA Chapter IV Article 56 Paragraph 2:

“…an employer may employ a child of at least 13 years of age in an occupation…which involves light labor that is not injurious to the child's health and welfare…”

Additional protections for workers are outlined in Japan’s equivalent of OSHA, aka the Industrial Safety and Health Act (ISHA) or Act No. 57 of June 8, 1972. 

Per ISHA Chapter VII-2 Article 71-2:

“An employer must endeavor to create a comfortable work environment in order to improve the level of safety and health in the workplace by continuously and systematically taking measures as follows:

measures to manage the maintenance of a comfortable work environment;

measures to improve work methods for work in which workers engage;

providing and streamlining facilities and equipment for workers to recover from fatigue suffered in the course of their work;

the necessary measures to create a comfortable work environment, beyond as set forth in the preceding three items.”

I think it’s safe to say that Gojo not including any of his Clan members in his afterlife scene and being so overworked that he doesn't have hobbies or think much outside of sorcery is proof of this exploitation. Gojo’s self-reported best years of his life were high school and those were still exploitative as hell. The man is a walking and talking human rights violation.

The only time we see child Gojo is from the perspective of assassins staking him out. Gojo himself never willingly recalls his childhood, only his teenage years. He looks so serious and miserable compared to his older self too. (It kind of reminds me of how I was a very quiet, obedient child that blossomed into the yappy evil creature I am now thanks to obtaining legal rights and freedom as an adult.)

This exploitation of children at the hands of adults in Jujutsu Society is normalized in and outside of fiction in their universe. Gojo can tell something is wrong with how he was treated and doesn’t want his students to hurt for it. But he can’t recognize that child labor in or itself is bad, so his solution is to make them strong enough to stand up for themselves. (Aka trying to make a labor union without knowing what a union is. Still breaking child labor laws though.)

Might makes right is a Shonen staple (please see Dragon Ball Z or Baki the Grappler). And though taking that idea to heart seems to be the most of Gojo’s problems as a teacher, there’s an additional issue this genre has—neglecting emotional development and care for the most part.

Characters in Shonen or action movies will go through extremely traumatic events and have little to no reaction to them. (PTSD who? Unless you're goated like Steven Universe Future or Vinland Saga.) It can give people a false sense of invincibility. They also rarely ever discuss the steps that can be taken to handle these emotions. You’ll see characters have panic attacks but rarely how to coax someone out of it. Heartbreak is rampant, but the solutions are to never let go and let it consume you, never how to move on or mourn. (If outright ignoring it like nothing happened isn’t what occurs.)

You can see these kinds of ideas with Geto. A second love is not possible for Gojo. He was his one and only and will always be his one and only. That’s the type of romanticism that has always been in his media.

If Gojo has relied on media to teach him how to feel out his emotions, effectively and healthily coping with grief and breakups is pretty hard to find. Most of the time when media handles those topics directly, it does so in a way that promotes reflecting on your own experiences instead of instructing you how to deal with it. Something Gojo didn’t really have time for. 

In the light novels Gojo greatly laments his own inability to deal with grief. He wants his students to learn how to do that effectively and even employs outside help with this.

The result of all this is a really overworked weird guy that feels like there’s no way to process his emotions. He puts on a mask when he talks to others and still winds up alienating himself. He’s tolerated for his labor and dehumanized for what makes him good at it. This is all extremely autistic. 

Exploiting Autistic Labor

I want to emphasize again, not all autistic people have these traits. The best sorcerers just happen to all have these traits in common.

Hyperfixating on the task at hand without rest.

Not having a typical reaction to dangerous situations.

Taking words at face-value.

Disconnect from emotions and other people.

Unique perspective for problem solving. 

These are all things that make for the ideal worker. Autistic people are often compared to machines for their behaviors and what is better for the capitalist than a person that behaves like a machine? 

But autistic people are not machines. They’re humans with flaws subject to burnout, emotional dysregulation, meltdowns, off-putting behavior, and isolation.

Jujutsu Society has no incentive to help with these things, especially the emotional dysregulation or isolation. In fact, it encourages this outcome because isolated people are easier to manipulate and exploit. But this also results in the friction these characters have in their relationships.

It’s a situation where they try to have their cake and eat it too. Everyone loves when Gojo is a Jujutsu Pervert in battle. They make him do everything for it. But the second he starts being weird outside of work, they want nothing to do with him. Or they’ll even insult him for the very traits they’re more than happy to use him for. (It’s exactly like Todo. Everyone depends on his battle intuition and reliability. And that all stems directly from his special interest Takada that no one wants to hear about.)

This creates a very uncomfortable dynamic where Gojo is seemingly bears the burden for everyone and everything while the people he’s servicing refuse to acknowledge it. He’s like some kind of public emotional punching bag or hatesink for other characters because they think he can take it as The Strongest. I don’t know if this is because of the autism, but it is scarily similar to how myself and my other autistic friends get treated by others irl. I think this is why I had such a visceral reaction to JJK 269. I too have experienced allistic people exploiting my labor and then acting like I’ve never done anything for them.

And speaking of JJK 269…Kusakabe has always been that kind of dickhole. He’s been in favor of Yuji’s execution since the start. But that’s not what makes him so aggravating. It’s that he’s too cowardly to do it himself. He once again, pushes the burden onto Gojo. He’s not going to be the child killer even though he wants this child dead, that’s Gojo’s job. Gojo is the tool he and everyone else uses to do the things they don’t like. 

This includes the teaching Kusakabe thinks Gojo is bad at. Per that one flashback, Gojo had to instruct Yuta more because Kusakabe didn't do an adequate job. Gojo had to send Yuta to Kenya to be trained by Miguel because neither of them were doing enough for Yuta. Gojo recognized his own limits and enlisted help. Kusakabe projected his own shortcomings onto Gojo and waited for everyone else to find a solution for him.

I also want to remind everyone that Kusakabe is wrong about Yuji needing to be executed. Yuji and Sukuna were Kenjaku’s backup plan. Kenjaku would’ve sealed Gojo and started the Merger anyways. In fact, Gojo, Yuji, and Sukuna are the only reason Kenjaku didn’t win. Plus the remaining Sukuna fingers were getting stronger All By Themselves. This means that Kusakabe would just be kicking the can down the road and making it a problem for the younger generation. Gojo was the only adult with enough foresight to do something that would solve the problem.

We’ve also got Ui Ui calling himself the MVP of the Sukuna fight while failing to acknowledge the only reason he could warp in and out without dying was Gojo exhausting Sukuna in the first place. Gojo’s contributions seemingly don’t count because he’s not a person. He’s a tool they used. So all his labor counts as theirs instead.

And because he’s dead, Yuta really is the new Gojo. Please see how Yuta was treated before and after Gojo’s death side by side. 

(I can’t tell if this is character assassination or the point. But the only person here allowed to criticize Yuta is Todo as far as I’m concerned.) 

Yuta is their new Strongest hatesink who happens to be autistic as hell. And yes, Yuta’s autism is second to Gojo Satoru’s. 

(Yuta's leans much more into socially unaware straightforwardness and taking things literally. He doesn't have a special interest or infodumps at people and I think that's neat.)

Everyone grills into Yuta so hard over his plans for the Sukuna battle that he experiences the quintessential autistic experience as described by Twitter User PenGwenWithLC:

"The autistic trait that bites me in the ass most frequently is my impenetrable belief that if I show people the truth they will believe me."

Mind you, Yuta is the main reason they won after Gojo died. This boy had Back Up Plans A through Z and they worked. The only person who had valid input on his planning was…Gojo (and possibly Todo). The finger resonance with Nobara was Gojo’s idea (JJK 267 Pgs 4-5...Also let's talk about how if Gojo wasn't a hopeless romantic and scheduled this fight a day or even an hour later, he might have lived based on Nobara's wake up time.). Once again, these are all autistic characters using their unique ways of thinking to solve problems others are too cowardly to address.

And then these same people turn around and disparage them without acknowledging their efforts or emotions. Sure you can call it lashing out because they secretly care about them. (Aka tsundere behavior.) But both Yuta and Gojo take other people’s words at face value. They don’t understand that this is a very fudged up display of affection and internalize it. Gojo died convinced everyone except maybe 3 people hated him and even in death he couldn’t escape it. 

This is also why Gojo leaving Yuta in Miguel’s care was a good thing. Miguel seems to be the sole person in this series who knows how to avoid labor exploitation. Nanami may see work as nonsense and have an overtime mechanic, but Miguel simply does not work overtime. He sets his boundaries and sticks to them.

It’s very ironic that Yuta took flack for respecting the boundaries of a black man that refused to be exploited by the very people that would treat him poorly.

How to Not Exploit Autistic Labor

CW: Discussion of Suicide

The last time I examined the tragedy of Gojo Satoru I wanted him to live and be loved. But I’m not sure if I want that now. It doesn’t really seem like the systemic issues that caused his exploitation have been addressed, and the people he’s helped refuse to acknowledge they are standing on the shoulders of giants. Him becoming suicidal over this exploitation and choosing death because he saw no end to this is a particularly harsh reflection of what happens in reality.

Yuji notices that Gojo is acting out of character during his final talk with him. The arrogant, self-aggrandizing chipper he's used to has been replaced with this timid optimism. Gojo tells Yuji and everyone else to forget about him because he's confident they'll be living longer than him. Before this, previous chapters have shown that Gojo went around apologizing to others and preparing letters in the advent of his death. These are all warning signs associated with an imminent suicide attempt.

When Gojo tells Yuji this is confidence he's never had before, it seems like he means both his plans to go through with dying and that everyone really will be fine and better off without him.

Gojo also makes sure Yuji doesn't catch on to this. (Probably why he didn't do the soul swap too.) Even with his suicide, he's doing his best to make sure it doesn't negatively impact anyone. His final letters to Megumi and Nobara being so unserious is another attempt to make sure their hearts don't break. ...And nobody he devoted himself to in life or death noticed.

This rather bleak ending for Gojo does have a purpose I think. It’s an example of how hypercapitalist work culture doesn’t value your life. You can bend over backwards and put your all into work, but in the end, you’re just another cog to be used. Gojo’s dehumanization was inevitable under this system. This man was born to be used as a tool and discarded once he served his purpose. And because he’s not a person, people get really mad when he does anything outside of what benefits them directly. Since to them, it’s like a machine malfunctioning.

It’s unlikely these people will ever mourn him properly, let alone even acknowledge his efforts (outside of Yuji and Yuta that is). His closest “friends” in death thought of him as a self-serving pervert you know. (Once again, not sure if that’s character assassination or showcasing what Jujutsu Society does to people, but wow does it suck to see.)

But you know who did acknowledge Gojo as a human who did his damned best and is worth remembering? Sukuna.

Sukuna stopped the whole battle to lavish praise on Gojo and mourn him. He’s done that for everyone who has put up a decent fight against him. The other sorcerers? They do no such thing, even after the battle.

And you know who takes the time to cherish and mourn his comrades no matter what? Jogo.

I excluded Mahito from the autistic labor exploitation discussion for good reason. The natural disaster curses treat Mahito better than most humans have ever treated Gojo. Jogo doesn’t exploit Mahito’s autism, he embraces it. And despite their weird behaviors and beliefs stressing him out most of the time, Jogo does nothing to stop Mahito from being themself. He expresses his distaste, sure, but Jojo otherwise acknowledges those traits are what makes Mahito good for their cause. Mahito is his equal, not a tool.

Jogo doesn’t tell Mahito what to do or feel. He rolls with their shenanigans while wearing his heart on his sleeve. He takes time to mourn his comrades no matter how dire the situation. He acts with their interests in mind at all times—even in death his first concerns are his comrades. 

Even though Mahito is alive, Jogo worries for them while still having faith in their abilities. He looks forward to seeing Mahito again via reincarnation. I cannot say the same of Gojo’s allies. 

I’m not really sure how to end this discussion since I’m continuing it in another part. But if there’s anything you take away form this incomplete analysis, please let it be this one thing:

Jogo is best girl.

[wardenparker]

The King's Queen - chapter 9

Javi Gutierrez x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Prince Javier of the Balearic Islands has always known that one day he would have to follow in his father's footsteps to be the caring and steadfast king that his people deserve. What he did not know is that he would be stepping into the next phase of his life alongside a woman he has never met before - and amidst a rocky sea of unusual circumstances of every kind.

Rating: M for Mature, but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 10.7k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: arranged marriage, age gap, classicism, cursing, food and alcohol, mentions of American politics, deceased parents* Lots of mystery related content this chapter, so no warnings in order to guard against spoilers! Summary: As the weeks progress, the investigation into King Miguel's death is stalling out. Until an unexpected conversation renews your suspicions about a particular member of court. Notes: We're winding down toward the end of this story, folx and thank you all so, so much for reading! It will probably be one more chapter and an epilogue -- so for now have a gif of Lucas and Javi for ✨atmosphere✨

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8

In the weeks following, the palace falls into a rhythm. The ongoing investigation is the dark cloud that covers the planning of the royal wedding and coronation, but life goes on. You've accompanied Javi on multiple public outings as Crowned Princess now and the press coverage does seem to be reasonably positive. Maisie and Gabriela have made a few gossip headlines along with you, including one tabloid photo of the three of you visiting a recently opened café owned by two young women in downtown Palma. The photo op had been chosen very strategically by your brother working together with the palace's security team, and you had insisted that the business they selected for the three of you to patronize needed to meet certain standards. The small shop had served you one of the most fantastic lunches you had ever had, and you were sure to tell the women so. The photo of you savoring your crema catalana had gone up on your official royal Instagram account that night.

You're settling in, is really what it comes down to, and at Javi's encouragement you've decided to clean up a room in the palace that hasn't been used much in the last few decades to turn into your receiving room. The Queen's office is one thing. That's a separate space in the working wing of the house, and your brother's office is adjacent to it. But a room for you to receive guests in or have meetings in...it's something that the palace hasn't needed since Javi's mother passed away.

“Your Highness, the furniture movers have arrived.” Despite having an abundance of nicknames for you growing up, and being your brother, Sebastian insisted on making sure that during working hours he addresses you by your title rather than any nickname. Wanting there to be no slip ups in protocol, or for visiting dignitaries to believe that they could also address the future Queen so informally.

“Thank you, Sebastian.” The room had been emptied of its former furniture set and divested of its previous rugs and trinkets. The fireplace had been scrubbed and all of that. Curtains taken away to be replaced with the set that you had chosen. Now the team from the palace steward’s office will be bringing in that expansive set of blue velvet upholstered walnut wood pieces, with their silver accents and silver-embroidered curtains to match. It will be your space and yours alone, just the way you like it. Even the paintings that are going up for decor were your choice, and the collection of Spanish impressionists that will hang on the walls is stunning.

"Of course." He smiles slightly and nods his head in deference to your position. "They have also located a rug for the space, I have told them to bring that first for your approval." The storage for the palace holds all of the furnishing through the years.

Just as he defers to your title during working hours, you’ve kept yourself to using his full name during those times as well, not wanting any rumours to build around why you hired your brother for this position — or even fuel the incredibly stupid theory that went around at first that he isn’t your brother at all. Some tabloid had printed that they thought he was your secret lover but thankfully that had gone nowhere with the people. You look far too much alike for anyone to not realize you’re related. “Do we know when Maisie and Gabriela are due back from their appointments?” Your ladies had gone into Palma for something that you hadn’t quite caught the explanation for but you’re hoping they will be back before dinner. The two women really have become you close friends in almost no time at all. And you’ve noticed a little bit of flustering on your brother’s part around Gabriela that is very sweet.

Sebastian looks down at the tablet in his hands and checks the calendar. Any appointments your ladies in waiting have are also kept by him so he can inform you. "They will be returning to the palace in thirty minutes."

“You are a font of useful information.” And you’re so incredibly glad that he’s here. Having someone nearby who just knows you as a person — what makes you tick and what makes you anxious — on staff is so helpful.

He smirks and holds up the tablet. "You just like me for my schedule." He teases playfully.

“Honestly?” You waggle your eyebrows at him, aware that until the movers from the steward’s office come into the room, the only people who will see or hear this interaction are the security officers watching the cameras that have been discreetly installed around the room. “I’m starting to see why so Dad was mad that I stole you away.”

"You understand and appreciate my work." Sebastian smirks, preening slightly. "Dad's new assistant isn't completely incompetent, but apparently he's not me and that infuriates the old man."

“C’est la vie, I guess. That’s why you should always appreciate the people who make your life easier.” As if on cue, a set of four workers from the steward’s office appear. They’re toting an enormous rug with them and look a little apprehensive.

“Y-Your highness?” The first man holding the rug bows his head. “This was – for your approval? If you do not approve, we will carry it back to the storage.”

“I’m sure you’ve made a wonderful choice.” And considering you know next to nothing about rugs, you’re willing to bet that they made a decision far more educated than yours would be. “Will you let it out, please? I’m very excited to see your choice.”

There’s a grateful smile on the third man and they begin to quickly unroll the rug. “It, uh, the blues and silvers in the rug could work with the furniture.” The first man explains.

"Then it will be perfect." You and Sebastian step back to give the men room, and soon enough the enormous Turkish carpet is rolled out to reveal its intricate patterns and subtle colors. It's exactly the right thing to bring warmth to a room that was once stark whites and ladylike pinks and pale greens, and you smile gratefully. Your color palette is slightly more robust than the last queen's, but there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, this piece will be what ties the room together. "Que maravillosa," you hum, seeing it all laid out. "Gentlemen, you have made the perfect selection. I could not have done better myself."

The pride that filters out from the men's faces would make Sebastian think that you had just knighted them. He hides a small smile and nods, stepping forward. "I think that it is safe to say that the Queen will keep the rug that you have chosen with her upmost gratitude." He tells him.

“We will return shortly with the first truck of furniture.” The seeming leader of the group tells you, bowing his head politely before he herds the others out to the hallway. They have two large, motorized hand trucks to bring down the king palace hallway and then they will arrange the pieces to their princess’ satisfaction.

"They chose well." Sebastain comments as he examines the plush rug. "Almost as if they were eager to please the crowned princess or something." He has felt the love the palace staff have started to extend to you, finding less pushback on his requests than he had once expected.

“I’m grateful it hasn’t been difficult,” you admit, smiling softly as your engagement ring winks in the late morning sun. “Javi is already having a hard enough time with the investigation still ongoing. I can’t imagine if he was fighting pushback in the press, too.”

"They still have found nothing substantial, and the King is growing impatient." He nods. glancing around to make sure no one else has come into the morning room.

“Remarkably, the investigation seems to conclude that it may have been accidental.” You keep your voice low as well. “But I still find that conclusion…unsettling.”

"As do I." Your brother hums, even if he agrees quietly.

The men from the steward’s office stay with you for the better part of an hour. It turns out that moving the furniture about takes seemingly no effort at all when it’s done by four men who could probably bench press you, and soon the seams of 1920s artisan-made study furniture is set precisely around the room in the perfect way to make it look nonchalant yet elegant. You didn’t even know furniture could look nonchalant, but now there is an art deco chaise lounge in your morning room ready to prove you wrong.

"Should I have tea and a light snack brough in?" Sebastain asks, knowing that you would want to settle into the room, get a feel for her. "I have some paperwork that needs attending, and you have nothing on your schedule until after lunch."

“Bring me everything you need me to sign,” you sigh dramatically in resignation but flash your brother a grin. “And if you could ask the kitchen for a tea tray, I would be eternally grateful.” In the last few weeks, the palace chef has gotten the contents of your personal tea tray down to a science, and you swore up and down to Javi that night that this is true luxury. Having your favourite snacks on hand at all times is what it’s all about.

"As you wish, your highness." Sebastian bows gracefully and sends you a small wink before sailing out of the room.

The room is better than you had envisioned it would be. The paintings are light and bright and bring a sense of invitation to the art deco furniture. It's a mix of styles so it doesn't feel too stuffy, making the room feel a little bit more personable. You sit down at the writing desk by the fireplace, admiring the elaborate carvings and the personalized touches. The men from the steward's office had also come in with a case of your personal stationary and a set of the pens that had been ordered with the emblem of the Crowned Princess of Mallorca on them. It had all been very overwhelming at first, but you're starting to settle in to it. One sheet of stationery and one of the pens find their way out of their cubbies in and into your hands, deciding that you'll write a note to be delivered to Javi as he goes about his work during the way. Your little notes make him smile, and if even a moment of smiling eases some of his burden, then they are well worth the few minutes they take to write.

He watches you from the shadow, frowning and furious. About to step out and speak when the silly little maid arrives with a tea cart. Making him curl his lip in disgust. You would have everyone believe you were an English queen with your teas and little treats.

You thank the girl and smile when she curtsies, knowing that being on your best manners with the palace staff is everything. The tea tray is laden with a mix of things and you sip your cup with a happy sigh. Until Sebastian comes back with your paperwork, it's just you and your tea and your love note to Javi.

"Well, aren't you just settling in nicely?" The voice comes from the far exit, carrying across the room. "Already changing things, causing disruptions."

If his voice causes a slight twitch in one eye, it isn't your fault. It's just that Lucas has been a needle in your side since the day you met him and there is nothing you can really do about it except be overly kind to the point of making him uncomfortable. "Lucas." You turn your head, setting down your teacup and folding your hands in your lap to offer him the most witheringly perfunctory smile you can manage. "Or shall I start to call you cousin? After all it won't be much longer before the wedding."

“Yes…the wedding.” He walks into the room as if he owns it, sniffing as he looks around the room. “Very…quaint.” He decides. “How fitting.”

"Is there some reason you have sought me out this morning?" He has a tendency to try to bait you into debates or arguments with polite insults, but you are in far too good of a mood today to be bent out of shape by petty words. "Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

“No.” He scoffs the word, almost close to a chuckle as he strolls around the room. Taking pains to touch different things, adjusting them to his own liking. “I have to admit that I’m surprised you are still here.” He glances up at you and then down the small Tiffany music box on a table. His finger running over the gilded lid. “Perhaps the prize is too large to let go?”

“Whatever gave you the impression that I might leave?” There hasn’t really been a serious moment since meeting Javi where you’ve considered it. Is the job difficult? Of course. But Javi makes every single second worth it. And you would never disappoint him by leaving — or so coarsely abandon the man you love.

“The king is dead.” He shrugs slightly. “Unless an arranged marriage is something you actually wished for.”

“King Miguel is dead; may he rest in peace. But King Javier is very much alive and well.” His refusal to accept that his cousin has ascended the throne is something of a curiosity to you. Like there is a full block in his mind that prevents him from accepting it. “And happily I will tell you, as well as anyone else who wishes to hear, how very much in love with my fiancé I truly am.”

“Come now.” He tuts and sends you a pitying look. “No one would be in love with Javier. Expect perhaps my wife.”

“I think it would be more difficult to find someone not at least a little in love with him.” A pinched, derisive smile makes you tilt your head. “The only exception seems to be you, cousin.”

“I have known Javier my entire life, believe me, there is nothing special about him.” Lucas sneers.

"I'm very sorry that you believe that," you reply placidly. Lucas truly has a talent for getting under your skin — and it's really all to do with his attitude toward Javi. He seems to think his cousin is the least remarkable man in the world, which is a thought process that you just can't wrap your head around. Javi's goodness is what will make him a kind and sympathetic leader. "Javi's ability to be kind in the face of an unkind world is one of the most special things I have ever witnessed in a human being. It seems to me that you might not know your cousin as well as you think after all. But that is merely an observation."

There’s a mean little grin on his face, making the classically handsome exterior appear almost rotten because of the evilness inside. “I think you might actually believe that load of horse shit.”

He truly seems to have come to see you just to be cruel today, which is rare, but it isn’t the first time. Lucas taunts and intimidates and spits venom as his surest means of communication. It is who he is. But he is also exceptionally talented at hiding his true nature, which leads to unfortunate circumstances like the group of loyal followers he still has here at the palace. Allowing yourself one more sip from your teacup, you set it down again and give him your patented Senator’s-Daughter placid smile. “Is there something that you needed, Lucas?”

“I was wondering if you had heard anything about the investigation?” He picks up a book that has been strategically placed and smirks as he opens it, glancing up and you and snapping it closed loudly.

"I am not at liberty to discuss the investigation," you remind him, interested in what he might have to say about it. Lucas has been relentlessly present during the investigation.

He rolls his eyes and snorts. “There’s no one here.” He huffs and lifts a brow. “I’ve heard your investigators have been probing, asking very pointed questions.”

“Well of course they are, a king has died.” You don’t say that he was killed, always very careful about your wording with Lucas — but something about his wording strikes you a moment later. ‘There’s no one here’ he says, blatantly encouraging you to speak liberally with him. As though you are entirely in private. Lucas…does not seem to know that your morning room has already been wired for security. “Of course…” you venture, keeping your breathing even and your voice steady so he doesn’t sense any change in your whatsoever even though your heart rate is now racing. “We will all be very glad when the matter is resolved. The country deserves to heal. To move forward.”

“It will, with a new king.” He is very certain of that and straightens slightly. “I understand the pressures of the throne might be too much for my cousin. He has always been a follower. Meek.”

Not so long ago, insulting the king so overtly would have been enough to have Lucas censured or even stripped of his title, but you bite your tongue on that point and simply tilt your head. "Do you really think so little of your own flesh and blood?"

“It is more that I know my own flesh and blood.” Lucas chuckles. “He is not the brightest Gutierrez, unable to figure out what is right under his nose.”

It's like Lucas wants to keep talking. Now that the topic has been breached and you are not shutting him down immediately as you usually do, he seems to be as unstoppable as the enormous boulder that chased Indiana Jones. "King Miguel believed in his son. He named Javi his heir and paved the way for him to take the throne. You think you know things about Javier that his own father did not?"

He smirks and shrugs slightly. “Miguel had to have faith in his son.”

"Had to?" That piques your interest, and you fold your hands in your lap even as you turn toward him a little more fully. There is a camera and microphone built into the clock above the mantel of the fireplace and you want to make sure this entire conversation is very firmly in the line of sight and sound. Though you doubt Lucas would ever overtly incriminate himself, he is being fairly damning if anyone ever called his loyalties into question. "King Miguel could easily have named another heir if he felt it was the best course of action."

“That would never have happened.” He hisses, face twisting into an angry scowl. His fist tightening in fury.

It might be the first time you've ever wanted to reel back from one of Lucas's outbursts, but you hold yourself steady in your chair and try not to make it obvious that you've just swallowed hard out of discomfort. "Never? Then King Miguel must have believed in Javi quite a lot."

“Not because he believed in him.” Lucas sneers. “But because the old bastard wouldn’t stand the shame, the humiliation of having such a weakling for a son.”

There will be time to take umbrage with Lucas's characterization of Javi later on. Right now, you have to stay laser focused on what is being spit out right in front of you. It is absolutely no secret between you and your fiancé that you both believe Lucas had something to do with King Miguel's death. But you still have no idea how to prove it. "And so...you believe that the late king would rather...gamble with the future of his country? Surely he would have wanted Javier to have help if he thought it was necessary."

“He had changed it.” Lucas growls, the fervor in his eyes nearly manic. “I saw. He had changed his directives – but the bastard guarding him refused to let me read it.” He curls his lip in disdain. “More of a lap dog than an assistant.”

"You think that Julius had something to do with the king's death?" That would be a grave accusation if it were true. Or, hell, it's a grave accusation anyway. Thankfully it will never be given any credence because of how hard Julius has worked for Javier.

Lucas barks out a rough laugh, throwing his head back. “You are made for my cousin!” He chortles. “Just as dim witted.”

You have no choice but to swallow the insult, finding your heart beat faster every second you are more and more hellbent on getting himself to cough up something that you can have to the investigators that will incriminate him. "It seems obvious that my mind does not work the same way yours does."

He chuckles, sending you a pitying look. “It’s a shame that you are so wrapped around my cousin’s thumb.” He tells you, “it would be fun to take another of his toys away from him. He’s already lost so much to me.”

"He already has the throne, Lucas." Not dignifying that idle threat with a response is causing you actual physical pain but sitting in your chair is currently taking enormous concentration. Anywhere else in the world and you would rather be wringing Lucas's slimy little neck. "Everything else is a trifle."

“Does he?” Lucas tilts his head and smiles. “Perhaps. Long live the king.” He intones sinisterly.

The irrevocable shiver that his tone sends down your spine is withering, and for a second you almost close your eyes against it but you are somehow convinced that taking your eyes off of him physically for even a second would be a terrible mistake. "He does," you state again, watching Lucas carefully. "And our child will have it after him. That is how the line of succession works. I know that you know this."

“Unless my dear cousin suffers the same fate as his father.” Lucas counters, waving his hand as if offering a solution. “Before you make that child.”

"How do you know we haven't already?" The surety in his voice is chilling, but you have to keep your own tone even.

“Because any child before your vows would be a bastard.” He hums. “Ineligible for the throne. Then the line of succession falls to…” he perks up and feigns excitement. “Well, me.”

"That is only true up to a point," you challenge, pressing the point if only gently. "Javi will not be dying of a heart attack anytime soon."

Lucas only stares at you, his dark eyes lifeless as he stands there quietly for nearly thirty seconds. “Of course not.” He says after that silence is up, his body relaxing and his face shifting into an innocent expression.

It might be the most unsettling and least reassuring ‘reassurance’ of all time, and the sinking feeling in your chest and stomach makes you feel positively sick. “In time,” you swallow bile as it rises in your throat. “You’ll see. Javi’s goodness is what will make him a great king.”

“Perhaps.” He shrugs as if the past few minutes of conversation hadn’t happened, and he shoots you a charming smile. Or it would have been if there wasn’t malice layered under it. “I will leave you to enjoy your new room then. Princess.”

“Good morning, your Grace.” You don’t stand, nod, or give him any other formal acknowledgement, but you definitely breathe easier when he turns and strides from the room. It’s like being in the same space as a cartoon villain, and you’ve found out that that is much more disturbing than you ever imagined.

“Your highness?” The maid who had been sent to check on your tea hurries into the room and her eyes are glancing around worriedly. She had seen the man most of the staff loved but she loathed walk out with a dark look on his face, one she is well acquainted with, and was concerned.

“Ah, Beatriz.” There is no choice but to shake off your unsettled nerves and pretend everything is fine, even though the sinking feeling in your stomach is sinking that much harder. “What can I do for you?”

“Are you—” she bites her tongue, knowing the question is inappropriate for the Princess. “I am checking to make sure you did not need anything, your highness.”

“I suspect that is not the only question you wish to ask me, Beatriz.” There are some members of the staff who have been more or less assigned to you, like your ladies’ maid and a few of the stewards or other staff, and you have generally been trying to get to know them and have them be comfortable with you within the bounds of what is considered proper. Probably being American fosters some of that in your mind all on its own, but you don’t like the idea of anyone being frightened to come near you in the palace.

“I— the count—” she starts before she stops again. “I saw the count hurry by me looking very unhappy.”

“I’m afraid the count is feeling a bit worse for wear today,” you lie, gracefully not indicating whether you mean he’s in a bad mood or that he’s actually ill. “I’m sure it will pass.”

“He- you are feeling well?” She asks, eyes searching you worriedly.

“I am perfectly fine.” The last thing you or Javi need is anyone on the palace staff spreading word that you might be ill, so you dispel the maid’s fear immediately. “And my tea is wonderful. Thank you for checking. If you would not mind waiting a moment, I am just finishing a note that I would like delivered to the king.”

“Of course, your highness.” She bows her head quickly. It was expected that you would never take her into your confidence, but it’s enough to find that you are…undisturbed. She breathes a quiet sigh of relief as she waits for you to finish writing your missive.

What was once a love note full of encouragement to your fiancé has quickly transformed into a gently coded indication that you have something you need to talk to him about privately. As soon as it is written out you fold the card and slip it into an envelope, sealing it with a small sticker bearing the royal seal of the Crowned Princess. "Please deliver this directly to the king," you instruct her, handing the maid the sealed card. "From my hands, to yours, to his. Is that understood?"

“Yes, your highness.” She nods solemnly, feeling very proud of being tasked with something of such importance. “For the king only.”

"Gracias, Beatriz." She curtsies and you nod, turning back to your desk as she hurries from the room. It's not exactly that you have evidence against Lucas, but at least now you have something solid to hand to the investigators to prove Lucas has a vendetta against Javier. There hasn't been anything besides hearsay until now.

Hurrying through the halls, Beatriz nods at different personnel but doesn’t stop. Not allowing herself to be waylaid on her mission. Once in front of the door to the king’s office, she stops and smooths her uniform out before knocking.

The door to the king’s office opens with a distinct click, and Julius steps out into the hallway. “Sí?” He knows Beatriz, of course, and knows that she tends to you, but does not know why the maid has come here of all places.

“I have a message for the king from her highness.” Beatriz tells him, shaking her head when he holds out his hand for the message. “The Princess said from my hand to King Javier’s.” She insists.

“I see.” Julius purses his lips in amusement. Normally when the king receives a note of that nature it results in copious blushing and clearing his throat. “Very well. You had best deliver it, then.”

It’s an honor to be allowed into the king’s office and she’s well aware of it. Bowing her head, she waits for him to open the door and follows him inside.

“Your Majesty.” Julius hums softly, breaking the king’s concentration as he bends over his desk. “A note from Her Highness.”

“Oh?” His head pops up and his brow furrows as he sees the maid in front of him.

“To be delivered from her hands to yours.” Beatriz tells him, barely stepping up to his desk and curtsying while she holds out the envelope.

“Thank you…Beatriz.” He finally comes up with the maid’s name, having a flurry of new staff being changed around with your arrival, his father’s death and the upcoming wedding.

The maid curtsies and exits promptly once the envelope is in his hands, blushing over the fact that the king knows her name. Julius, for his part, smiles and nods to the door. “Shall I leave you?” He asks, hoping to offer privacy if it is wanted.

“Please.” Javi nods, barely looking up from the closed note in his eagerness to see what you have written. “Give me just a minute and we will continue.”

With a nod Julius is gone, leaving Javier to his reading.

Mi amor, A very interesting conversation with someone we are both interested by may pique your curiosity. If you would like to relive it for yourself, I will show you this evening. M

Javier frowns at the paper and wonders what the hell has happened today. A mystery would once have thrilled him, but he knows this is concerning one particular person and he feels a sense of dread.

******

His busy schedule keeps him occupied until dinner time, but the now-designated one night a week that you and Javi eat alone is proving to be a blessing. The serving cart is wheeled into your chamber and the table on your balcony set with candles, and you’ve taken off your heels to let your aching feet rest for the night in comfortable slippers when the door to your suite opens to let him inside.

Javier feels the mantle of responsibility seemingly lift. Even if he could be interrupted by any manner of emergencies, the idea that for tonight, he’s just your fiancé is a comforting one. The guise of not being responsible for a country needed as he has worried about your note for the rest of the day after receiving it. “Margarita?”

“Javi!” It would be a lot to pretend you aren’t excited to see him, and why would you pretend that at all? Instead, you pad across the sitting room of your suite eagerly and wrap him up in your arms. “How was your day, querido?”

“It was good, but it is better now.” He accepts the easy affection and snuggles close to you, burying his nose in your neck. “How was yours? Beatriz gave me your note.”

“Lucas paid me a rather interesting visit today.” It’s a shame that your dinner together has to be overshadowed by this but there is no way around it. “In the morning room.”

“You just set that up.” In fact, Javi had been put out that there had been no wiggle room in his busy schedule to allow for a visit to the room to see how you had redone it. He had planned to see to it tomorrow, but now he is wondering if it’s been tainted by his cousin.

“It seems he disapproves of my choice of decor.” You roll your eyes to show it does not bother you and place a kiss on his cheek. “Come. Eat with me. I’ll tell you what happened over our supper.”

“It is your space, like my mother’s.” He huffs, but he eagerly lets you lead him out onto the balcony. “The staff loves to make sure our private dinners are romantic.” Javi smiles at the candles on the table.

“They do wonderfully for us.” Tonight there are pink gin tonics in the cocktail pitcher that awaits you, and a beautiful seafood supper with fresh bread and bright vegetables. A feast that won’t make you feel over full or too tired afterward is a gift in its own right.

“Perhaps we should have a party for them.” Javi suggests. “Catered food, nice drinks. They can relax and be served.”

“That would be a very kind thing to do, I think.” You’re not sure if there’s precedent for that kind of thing, but you have to think it’s been done in some form before. “Maybe I can look into what it would take? And include the clean up being done by someone else, of course. It would be useless to give them a party that they have to clean up after themselves.”

“Of course.” Javi nods seriously. “Everything taken care of.”

“But…” You take it upon yourself to pour two glasses and hand him one, inhaling the wonderful scent of the plates he has set down on the table. “Lucas seems…more devious than usual.”

“Is that even possible?” Javi asks, rolling his eyes slightly. Ever since you arrived, it seems as though the blinders have been pulled away. Showing Javi how rotten his cousin’s soul really is.

“I hadn’t thought so.” It’s unfortunate to be wrong on that front, but here you are. “But he came the closest he’s ever come to incriminating himself today and we were standing right in front of the fireplace in the morning room while he was doing his…I hesitate to call it an interrogation of me, but it wasn’t comfortable. Either way he was very candid, and I watched the footage after retrieving the file from palace security. I think it’s damning enough to encourage the investigators to look into him again.”

“Really?” Javi has just sat down, leaning forward and his eyes narrow. “Tell me what he said, Margarita. I want my father’s death explained. I want to know why we lost our king too early.”

As you eat your recount every detail. The conversation is burned into your brain from this morning and though you’ll show the footage to Javi later so he can see it all for himself, you’re confident in your ability to tell the encounter to him completely. “I can’t help but think it all seems…sinister. But that may be my own bias against him showing. It might m be best just to let the investigators decide.”

“That’s what we will do.” Javi nods. “Although, I don’t want you to be alone with Lucas again.” He admits. “Will you keep Sebastian or one of your ladies with you?”

"A rotating witness along with my security detail?" Of course, to Javi's point — the guards who are meant to protect you are usually some small distance away so that you don't feel smothered. Today they had been at the door to the morning room while you were inside. Perhaps it is time to make better friends with them after all. "If that will make you more comfortable, querido, then I will make sure I keep someone with me."

“I just do not wish for my cousin to do something.” Javi admits. “I cannot banish him for any reason, and I cannot risk your safety.” If Lucas is plotting something, he would rather he not have access to you.

“I am not an enormous fan of your cousin trying to do something to either of us,” you reason. It is plenty enough work to run a country without having to worry about your own family trying to sabotage you or worse. “I will keep someone around me and so will you. The only time we should be alone is to be with each other.”

“I can agree with your logic.” Javi nods as he spears a stalk of broccolini. He doesn’t mention that it will give plenty of alibi for anything Lucas tries to cook up. Especially with the extra surveillance that has been discreetly installed under the guise of ‘redecorating’.

"I will have Sebastian contact the investigators first thing in the morning and hand the footage over to them personally, with a full explanation of what they are watching." It won't be fun, but at least it's some kind of progress. And progress desperately needs to be made.

“Perfect.” Javi nods even though it’s painful to admit that this can come from inside his own family. “Make sure that the investigators know that we are more than willing to be interviewed again.”

“I will.” A short reach across the table is all it takes to fit your hand in his, and you squeeze his fingers gently. “We will see this through. Your father deserves to be able to rest peacefully.”

He doesn’t want to monopolize the dinner with talk of his cousin, or his father. It pains him in a way that’s indescribable. “How has Sebastian settled in?” He asks curiously. “Has he had time to explore the country? You should take him, have a driver give you a complete day.”

“It’s probably asking too much to think you could get away for a day?” You know it is, but you still prefer to spend as much time with him as you can.

“I might be able to take half a day.” He would have to double check with Julius, but his schedule wasn’t too taxing the next few days.

“I don’t want to crowd your schedule with more things,” you assure him. “But it would be nice to spend time together.”

“I have relatively light days.” He promises. “I can try to combine the days to block out an afternoon. Or would you rather a morning?”

“I suppose it depends on what you want to show me.” The prospect of spending time together — even in public with cameras flashing and admirers stopping to spot him on the street — is a bit thrilling. While the investigation is ongoing, royal security isn’t keen to let the two of you eat at establishments they cannot control. Very few exceptions have been made and you haven’t been able to begin your date night idea quite yet. “Maybe we ought to consult security if we plan on doing anything besides going for a drive.”

“I will talk to Julius and send you a note?” He asks, knowing that it can’t be tomorrow. “Unless you have some appointments to plan the wedding?”

“Julius and Sebastian share our schedules for exactly this kind of reason.” They’re miraculously well-coordinated, actually, and you continue to be impressed with your brother’s work the longer he is with you. “We’ll ask them to find the day that works best.”

“Perfect.” He nods and smiles. “We are getting closer.”

“We are already very close, mi amor.” A smile even wider than his graces your lips and you hum happily around a bite of your dinner. “Would you like to hear about the wedding preparations?”

“I would love to hear.” He leans forward eagerly. “And anything you would like for me to help with, I will.” He assures you. “Even those little gift bag things. We are having those, right?”

“If you would like to have them, I will make sure they are included.” Javi always lights up when wedding plans are mentioned, so it seemed like a very good topic for lightening the mood of your meal. “I can ask our wedding planner to put together a list of ideas she suggests to fill them and you can pick whichever you like best?”

“Yes.” Javi nods. “Something local. Show off the art and craftsmanship of our people.” He tells you.

“I completely agree.” The more locally made everything at your wedding, the better it all will be. This is going to be a celebration for many more than just you and Javi.

“Local sweets. A handcrafted piece of jewelry that commemorates our day?” He suggests. “I want that to come from my personal wealth and not the budget.”

“Maybe a small pin, as the jewelry?” Something universal would be best, so it does not matter which bag goes to which guest. It will relieve an enormous headache on your wedding planner’s part. “Something symbolic, rather than the typical image of us smiling out from a white background.”

“That would be perfect. Maybe our flag? Made from local stone? Or gems, whatever you think is best.” Javi tells you. “I’ve just always loved the gift bags in wedding movies.”

"I'll see what the wedding planner thinks is doable in a fairly short amount of time and then you'll get a list to choose from," you promise him. After a few more bites in relative and enjoyable quiet, you put your fork down again and take a sip of your drink. "I've...been thinking about something. And I was wondering if I could talk to you about it."

“Anything.” It sounds serious and Javi is immediately giving you his full attention. Fork down and looking into your eyes. “You can talk to me about anything, Margarita.”

“That is actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” You reach across the table to take his hand and leave a kiss on his knuckles for good measure. “I’ve been doing some reading, and I had Bastian pull records. And it seems to me to be a sort of…unofficial Balearican tradition for foreign born spouses of monarchs to take a regnal name.” The whole concept of taking a regnal name — a name you will be known as, as queen — seemed positively odd to you at first. But the tradition seems to stem from taking pride in leading the people of these lively, engaging islands. A way of embracing the place and the people and promising to honor them. “I wondered how you would feel if…I did that, too.”

“What would you like to change it to?” He asks curiously. “I would love whatever you do, but I will still call you Margarita.” He admits with a bashful smile.

“Well…” It seems almost embarrassing, or it would be embarrassing if it were anyone but him, and you feel your cheeks heat as you swallow. “I thought…Margarita might actually be the right choice. I looked it up and it’s not too uncommon of a name. I thought it might be…romantic is the wrong word, but loving.”

“Queen Margarita?” Javi hums as he thinks about it and nods. “It would be a beautiful tribute to our future.”

“I always knew I would come here eventually.” For your whole life, you’ve waited for it. Waited to be summoned, and waited to be married, and waited to be with him. “But I only truly fell in love with this place after I met you.”

“It is easy, no?” He asks with a grin. “Our country is easy to love.”

"Very easy." You can agree to that easily. "But not as easy as it is to love you, querido."

The way Javi blushes makes you smile and he’s happy about that. Nothing is forced, nothing is put on with you and that’s what he loves. If you were just normal people, there would still be these tender affections between the two of you.

“Anyway, I just… I wanted to ask you how you felt about it.” He is blushing and he is adorable when he blushes. You shift a little in your seat and a pleased smile curls your lips. “Because ‘Margarita’ was just your name for me, and now I’m thinking about sharing it with the world. If you aren’t okay with it, I will choose something else.”

“I don’t mind.” He admits quietly, leaning in and staring into your eyes. “As long as we are together, I will happily share you with my country.”

“I’ll always be with you.” That is a promise you will make to him without hesitation. Now that you’re with him, the last thing you want is to be separated from Javi in any meaningful way.

“Hopefully your interaction with my cousin did not ruin your day?” He asks quietly. “How are your ladies doing?”

“Gabriela sat with me for some time this afternoon.” A small, mischievous smile curls your lips as you finish your meal. “My brother mentioned that it might be helpful to have some help in learning the geography and history of the country, as well as cultural tradition. Gabriela volunteered to be my tutor, essentially. And she’s been wonderfully helpful.”

“Good.” His affection for Gabriela will always be there, but it has shifted to a more brotherly love than anything else. Or perhaps it was always meant to be that way and he had been rebelling against his fate. Regardless, he’s happy you and Gabriela have formed a friendship. “She was much better in her studies than I.”

“She and my brother are also getting along very well,” you venture, wondering if that is too sensitive or inappropriate of a topic. True that Gabriela is married, but it’s abundantly clear to anyone with eyes that they are miserable, and she did not make the choice to marry Lucas willingly.

“Do you think there could be something there eventually?” He asks softly, knowing that it would be unlikely unless Lucas were out of the picture. Gabriela was loyal and would never shame the royal family with a divorce, even though she should divorce her husband.

“Maybe?” It’s just theoretical right now. Just a little gossip. But you know that Javi’s comfort level with the situation means a great deal to everyone involved. “Nothing will happen, of course. Not with Lucas in the way. But I think it’s sweet.”

“I want her to be happy.” Javi tells you. “As happy as we are.”

“That’s very admirable.” You admit, knowing that there are a lot of complications in the way of anything realistic. Still, you offer him an encouraging smile. “But I don’t know if anyone is as happy as we are.”

“It is quite a lofty goal.” He teases with a smile. “Perhaps it can be achieved.” He still marvels over how lucky he is and is grateful for it.

“Perhaps.” Just knowing how much he loves you makes your heart soar, and the familiar warmth returns to your cheeks. “Although it is a very lofty goal.”

Javi pauses for a moment, and he frowns as he reaches for your hand. “As long as you are never uncomfortable.” He shakes his head, aware that it’s coming out wrong. “As long as you know my feelings are genuine and I no longer will ever think about any woman the way I think of you.”

“I think the fact that you’ve stayed friends with Gabriela after breaking up speaks volumes about both of you as people. You’re good and kind and deserve to have those things visited back to you. And besides,” you reach out to squeeze his hand reassuringly. “Gabriela is also my friend. I want her to be happy, too. And my brother is a fantastic guy. She’d be lucky to have him.”

“Gabriela would be a wonderful partner to anyone who wishes a partner.” Part of Lucas’s problem is that he thinks he’s better than everyone. He had decided on Gabriela simply to hurt Javi.

“And Lucas deserves a good clobbering.” It’s mumbled, but only slightly, and you definitely mean it. In fact, you’d like a hell of a lot worse than a clobbering to happen to Lucas Gutierrez. A lot of people would.

Javi smirks slightly, hearing you perfectly but he doesn’t comment on that. “And what if Maisie?” He asks. “How is she settling into the role?”

“I think Maisie might have been born for it,” you chuckle. Javi clears away your empty dinner plates and you uncover the slices of Basque cheesecake smothered in cherry rioja sauce that the kitchen made for your dessert tonight. “Her husband is away on business as of this morning so she’s taking the chance to buckle down in helping with wedding and coronation plans.” Sending Javi a smile as you set out the smaller plates, you lean on the banister beside your small table while he pours out the last of your cocktail pitcher. “I think she deserves a very large ‘thank you’ after all this is finished. Gabriela does, too.”

“Perhaps a girl’s weekend on the royal yacht?” Javi asks, wondering what you had in mind.

“I was thinking of a getaway for Maisie and her husband. Something wonderfully romantic where they don’t have to worry about anything but enjoying themselves.” The first bite of cheesecake makes you both groan happily and break out into contented grins. “Maybe by that time Gabriela will be able to spend time with whoever she wishes.”

“Perhaps.” Javi frowns slightly. “If – if Lucas is as bad as we think that he might be, we will have to circle the wagons, as that American saying goes, around Gabriela. She will be distraught.”

“I would think she will be glad to be free of him.” You do shake your head, though, and nod. “If his true colors turn out to be as black as we suspect, we will take care of Gabriela. Make sure that she comes out of the thing unscathed.”

“Yes.” He nods seriously. “It will be good for her to be your lady if everything is as bad as we expect.” He admits quietly. “I am so sorry that you have been thrown into such a mess, amor.”

It might surprise him to hear, but the truth comes out of you alarmingly fast as you sit together at the little balcony table. “I don’t care,” you tell him truthfully. “I’m just glad that you didn’t have to go through all of this alone.”

He pauses, in awe of you and picks up your hand. “You are the most gracious and loving woman.” He murmurs softly. “I hope to never take that, or you, for granted.”

******

"Your Highness." Sebastian has been in and out of your office all morning, but this time when he steps inside he has a much more determined set to his face. "Inspector Jefe Blanco is here to see you."

"Oh, good. Excellent. Bring him in, please." Waiting for the Chief Inspector's arrival this morning has had you on edge. It will be good to get all of this out of the way and put the evidence into the hands of professionals. "And Sebastian, will you stay, please? While he's here. I would feel more comfortable."

“Should I order some tea?” He asks, knowing that it might set the tone from the grim talk into a more open conversation.

"I asked the kitchen to prepare a tray this morning. If you could just ring down and ask them to send it up?" His instincts are good and you appreciate your brother's attention to detail, especially in these moments. "I'm sure that will put us all a bit more at ease."

“Good. I will have Flores bring it in so no more staff than necessary needs to come into the room.” Sebastian decides. He will instruct the staff to leave it outside with your personal maid.

"Thank you, Bastian." For one more second, it's just you and your brother in a room, and you flash him a grateful smile before putting your official princess countenance back on. "Please show the Inspector Jefe in."

Sebastian nods and moves to the door, opening it and stepping back to allow the very official visitor in. It’s clear the man has taken special care with his appearance, every medal shined and his uniformed neatly pressed.

"Thank you for making time to come and see me this morning, Inspector Jefe." You stand from your desk and shake the man's hand. He has been very diligent and professional in investigating this case but you have to admit that you have now known the man quite a bit longer than you would prefer. In a perfect world, this case would have been over before it began. "I'm afraid I have some information to share with you, but I do not know how helpful it will end up being."

He frowns slightly, confused as to how you can have more information. “What do you have, Princess?” He asks curiously. “I must confess I am surprised to have been contacted by your office.”

"I had a conversation yesterday with the Count of Ibiza that...unsettled me." Polite wording is necessary here, so that you don't appear to be accusing Lucas of anything outright. "The conversation was videotaped by our security system here in the palace, and I would be very much gratified if you would consent to watch the footage with me and tell me if there is anything to it. If the count's manner seems suspicious, and his threats genuine, as I suspect they are. Or if I am perhaps too sensitive to the topic being touched so deeply by the late king's sudden death."

“The Count has an excellent reputation.” The inspector informs you, a little wary when it comes to potentially implicating members or the royal family. “However, he was slightly evasive during questioning.”

"It is my sincerest hope that my worries are unfounded," you lie as cleanly as you can. It is the only lie you have ever told the inspector and what you do hope is that it stays that way. "But I will not claim any kind of expertise in law enforcement or investigative technique."

“Even though you say there is video evidence of the conversation, I find that it is always helpful to have someone describe the interaction. Posture, tone, facial expressions cannot be accurately displayed at times through a security system.” He explains quietly, pulling out a notebook from his jacket pocket. “Princess, will you please tell me about this conversation with the Count?”

"Besides deeply insulting both myself and King Javier, the Count outright stated that he believed the late King Miguel made the wrong choice as to his successor and expressed anger over not being considered in the choice. Or, rather, not being chosen outright." You pause when Flores brings in your tea tray, thanking her as she pours out three cups and sets one beside each of the three of you seated in the room. "Thank you, Flores. We'll manage from here."

“Yes, your highness.” She bows respectfully as she eyes the inspector. There are many questions as to why he is here, but she won’t voice them.

“So, you see, Inspector,” you continue once the door is shut securely behind your maid. “When outright statements like that are made in the same conversation where the Count also voices his opinions that King Javier is not fit to rule, or that I have some ulterior motivation for being here and accepting my role in his country…it makes me quite worried. That perhaps the Count may not have the most honorable intentions after all.”

“I can see why that would raise your suspicions.” He frowns and flips back through his notes to look at the impressions he had jotted down from the interview with Lucas Gutierrez. While some of the men question his old-fashioned methods and claim that he wants to model his investigative style after American style gumshoes, he finds it good to have those notes easily accessible rather than having to go back to the system computers. “And you say that he felt like he was threatening you?”

“I felt that he was threatening the king.” The clarification is important here, you know that. But you’re very glad to have your brother in the room with you to be an emotional anchor so you don’t end up seeming distraught or too forceful with the inspector. “The Count made it very clear that he did not consider me worth threatening. He appears to regard me as an ornament to His Majesty. Which is insulting, but not threatening.”

“I hope that regardless of what I find, you informed his majesties security team?” He asks seriously. “Another king lost in a short span such as this would throw our small country into chaos.”

“It would.” Especially considering Lucas is the next in line to the throne. A horrible alternative that you can’t even begin to comprehend. “And I have. I informed His Majesty and he has taken it to his team.”

“Good.” Inspector Jefe might have some private concerns about the new king, but he would never dream of making them public.

“With this background, will you be willing to watch the footage that my security team gathered yesterday morning?” Convincing him that it is worth looking into Lucas again is the key here, even though you know it’s a hard sell. As the Count of Ibiza, the people have come to mostly love Lucas Gutierrez. But they do not see his true nature.

“I have learned in my time as an inspector that some people’s true nature is always concealed until they believe they are immune from reproach.” He picks up his tea and takes a polite sip. “Would you be able to provide a copy or would I need to view the footage here only?” Sometimes the security for the palace had certain protocols in place that he would not be able to change.

After discussing it with Javi, Julius, and the head of security, it has been decided that a copy of the footage could be handed over to the police for their own use, and you open your desk drawer to retrieve it. “The copy has been made for your use, but of course I expect you will want to view the original here as well so you can be assured that no changes to the footage have been made.”

“Thank you, Princess.” He nods his head slightly, grateful that you understand the delicate nature of these things. “Once I have reviewed the footage, I may have more questions. Would it be possible to request some time in your schedule if that is the case?”

“Of course.” In fact, you would be concerned if he didn’t have more questions for you. “My assistant will make sure you are afforded access to me when necessary. This investigation remains of the utmost importance.”

“I appreciate that.” He knows that you must be busy, the announcement of your wedding accompanying the coronation had been announced and it wasn’t too far away.

“Just as I appreciate you being available this morning.” The footage is already queued up on the computer display monitor on your desk, and you turn it to face outward so both the Inspector and Sebastian can see. “Cooperation is everything in these matters.”

“The tales of your wisdom have not been underestimated.” He hums, turning to the screen and leaning forward so he can watch.

This is the fourth time you've watched this conversation, not to mention the fact that you lived through it the first time, and while the Inspector Jefe listens to Lucas spit his vitriol, you sip your tea in silence. Every time you listen to him it makes you angry all over again. But you can't afford to show any kind of anger in front of the inspector.

There will be several notes that come from this video, and he frowns as he looks back up at you. “This is very disturbing.” He admits. “The count did not know that he was being recorded, yes?”

"That is correct." It's a relief to hear that the investigation will be taking your conversation into account, but you try not to show it too much. "But I did not make any effort to hide the fact from him. All areas of the palace that are in use by staff and the royal family are protected by surveillance."

“It almost seemed as if the count wished for you to accuse him of something nefarious or to reveal it himself.” Jefe looks around the room, and nods. “Please do not try to be alone with him, Princess, but let him talk if he comes back.” He tells you, standing up. “I will have to review this many more times, but I will be taking a closer look at the Count in my investigation.”

"If you need to speak with me again, please do not hesitate to contact my assistant. And if I have any other information to pass along to you, may I request for you to come in the same way you did today?" You stand along with him, showing the Inspector Jefe the respect that his position is due. "I have already made arrangements to ensure I will not be alone with the Count again. At the king's insistence."

“Absolutely.” He had been brought in through the tunnels under the palace to prevent speculation, and he understands that. “Whatever you wish, your highness.” He bows politely and thinks that you are also as gracious as you are beautiful.

"Have a good day, Inspector Jefe." That might be a fruitless wish, considering the task on his shoulders, but if anything? That is something you can absolutely relate to.

He nods again and quickly walks out of the room to leave you and Sebastian by yourselves.

Once the door shuts, you sit back in your chair and pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers and sigh. “That went better than I expected.”

“I don’t think the inspector wasn’t too surprised by your claims.” Sebastian admits, curious as to the man’s true feelings about the count. Not that he seems the type to ever say. He seemed to play his cards close to the vest.

“I think he was surprised that Lucas would admit to being so vile, but maybe that’s just me being too American and imagining all these nobles constantly play nice with each other. I can’t tell.” Now that the meeting is over, you refill your teacup and pick up a biscuit gladly. “Well, darling brother. We have an hour to kill before wedding planning overtakes my day.”

“What would you like to do?” He asks, aware that he had blocked out much more time than necessary for the meeting with the inspector.

“Javi and I talked about taking a little driving tour of the islands sometime soon. Do you think that’s something you could coordinate with royal security?” You’re not asking him to do it right now, god knows, but you do rummage in your desk with a mischievous grin on your face while you ask.

“Are we talking about an actual tour?” He asks with a laugh. “Or cordoning off lover’s lane so you can make out with the king like you’re teenagers?” He’s amused by the idea but also happy that you are so happy with your future husband.

“Say what you want, but my fiancé is ridiculously sexy.” And frankly, you’re exceptionally happy about that fact. Not just because you’re glad to be attracted to your partner, but because producing an heir is such a big part of what’s expected of you. It will not be a hardship to fulfill that duty.

He snorts and shoots you a grin. “Most of the world agrees with you.” He admits. “Which is why I’m so confused as to why his cousin is so harsh on him.”

“It’s jealousy, don’t you think?” At least, that’s what you’ve always thought. Javi was graced with looks, and charm, and privilege as well as so many other attributes — and Lucas simply couldn’t stand that his cousin was more beloved. “Lucas doesn’t see that cunning is not the only worthwhile intelligence in the world. That’s the other thing.” A moment later, you extract a travel Scrabble set from your desk drawer with a squeak of triumph. “Spanish Scrabble for an hour?” You suggest, shaking it at him enticingly. “Build that vocabulary like I know you want to?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes but grins. “I don’t know why you claim my Spanish isn’t up to par.” He teases, nodding and sitting down beside you. “I’ll still kick your ass at scrabble, Princess or not.”

______

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My Masterlist!

[vocaloidfactoftheday]

Have You Seen This Lost GUMI Anime Pilot?

This is a bit of an unusual post for this blog, but I think I may have come across a case of lost media involving an anime pilot starring GUMI. It's possible that it exists on the Internet, and I hesitate to declare this as "lost media," but I cannot find it anywhere, and I figured that a post on this blog was the best way to see if anyone has any leads or extra info.

The anime is titled "Koisuru Dessan Ningyo," with an English title of "Do Drawing Dolls Dream of Love?" I don't know the runtime of the pilot, but I think it was most likely around 5-7 minutes. I believe this could have been the first instance of a Vocaloid being cast in a main voice acting role (perhaps, the first one cast in any voice acting role). I'm not completely sure if they actually used the Megpoid voicebank, or had Megumi Nakajima voice act as GUMI, but the way AnimeAnime (Japanese anime news site) describes it, it seems like it may have been the former. In either case, the character that GUMI portrays in the anime is a character that is clearly made to resemble her.

(These are the only screenshots I could find that come from the pilot, but more may exist.)

The main character is a doll (who I'm not sure is named), who models for a girl's drawings before eventually falling in love with her. I don't believe GUMI's character has a name, but she plays a main role as the girl the doll falls in love with.

Where It Was Seen

The pilot aired on NHK TV on January 9, 2014, during late night (possibly just after midnight?). It aired alongside another pilot as part of the program Aoyama 1seg Kaihatsu. This was a sort of tournament, where two pilots were broadcast once a month for three months, and viewers would vote for which pilot they liked best. Then, the three winners would go against each other in a final round, where the pilot with the most votes would get picked up to become a series. (I think they held this tournament once a year from 2010 to 2014 or 2015, though I don't know if it was the exact same every time.) The broadcast was 25 minutes long for each of the first three rounds, with the first half dedicated to showing both pilots and the second half dedicated to presentations about each pilot. (This is why I think this pilot was around 5-7 minutes, though I'm not sure exactly how much time commercial breaks would take up.) For a few years, including 2014, the program was hosted by the now-disbanded Japanese girl group E-girls (no relation to what you and I know as "e-girls." in their case the E stands for "exile.")

According to the official Tumblr account, karappo-heart, this pilot won the first round of the competition! It probably didn't make it out of the finals, though, since it didn't get picked up for a series. It's also possible that it did win, but some other issues prevented its production. In any case, the Tumblr account hasn't been updated since the first round ended. While this contest was going on, three shorts were apparently available to watch on NHK's website, but they have since been removed. I think at least one of the shorts was web-exclusive. I haven't been able to find info on who actually won the finals, or even what GUMI's short won against.

People Involved

The doll is portrayed by a masked dancer refererred to as Hitori de Dekiru Mon. I can't find much info about him online, but I think his real name is Takemura Ryohei. (I'm not sure because that part on his Japanese Wikipedia article has a "citation needed" label.) AnimeAnime specifically refers to his role as being the doll's "human form," though it's possible he provided voice acting too. AnimeAnime points out the unusual nature of having a human portray a doll, and having a Vocaloid portray a human.

Masanori Okamoto (who also wrote the screenplay and produced the pilot) animated the pilot with the pixilation technique, using time-lapse pictures to show movement of objects and people (this may have included live-action photos of the doll's actor portraying a "human form" of the doll). It seems like it may have blended stop motion/puppetry and live action stills with traditional animation? This is an example of Okamoto's work from around the same time, which seems like it might have been made in a similar style:

The third known person to have worked on this is none other than Vocaloid producer sasakure.UK. He composed the theme song, which of course features GUMI, and a few other songs to be used in potential future episodes. If you're a big fan of his, the anime title may sound familiar to you, as he released 3 of these songs (though both news sites I looked at, AnimeAnime and Anime News Network, say he made 4 total) plus their instrumentals as an EP under the same title. You can listen to the whole thing on YouTube!

I think this EP uses GUMI's VOCALOID3 voicebanks (the first sounds like either Native or Sweet, the second one sounds like Adult or Power (if it even is GUMI--it sounds more like IA to me, but sasakure.UK labeled it as a GUMI song so I kinda have to take his word for it) and the third sounds like Sweet). If that's the case, her V3 voicebanks would have probably been used for the voice acting, too.

Places I've Looked

After some Internet searches only garnered me a few screenshots, I decided to see if there was a way I could ask sasakure.UK himself about the short. I believe he has a contact form on his website, which I used to send a message in both Japanese and English (in case Google Translate was more helpful to him than my incoherent Japanese). This was back in May of this year and I never received a response. (Since I used a website contact form and not a direct email, I don't have the message I sent him anymore. I guess that's lost media now too.)

It occured to me while writing this post that I never contacted the animator himself, Masanori Okamoto. While his Vimeo and YouTube pages don't have the pilot, and his Twitter and Tumblr links haven't been updated in several years, he does have an email address listed. I sent him a message (in English because I was too sick and tired to try to write a coherent email in Japanese and I don't like waiting to do these things). I'm not sure he still checks his email since his social media that I've found has all been inactive for years, but I will post an update if he responds.

I know that this pilot is not on the NHK website, or, again, on the animator's YouTube or Vimeo pages. I also could not find it on the Internet Archive.

Now, I don't expect anyone reading this to have saved this on their computer and kept it there since 2014. But with this post, my goal is simply to make more people aware that this exists at all, and I'd also like to learn more about it myself (such as whether or not the pilot won in the finals after all, how much animation actually exists for it, if any more screenshots are out there, etc.)

Thank you for reading such a long post! Please feel free to correct any info I got wrong, or add on to this post with any knowledge you might have about this lost pilot!

(also sorry for any typos :()

[just-a-creep-babe]

A Demon’s Ache — Part 2

Eyeless Jack x Reader (NSFW)

Part 1

Commissioned by @cookiereblogss tysm darling, I really appreciate the support <333

I've given it a title so therefore, I have officially made it a ✨thing✨ The outline has 6 parts rn, but I'm far from done~

AND once I finish Dirty Little Secret on my patreon, I'm thinking I'll rewrite this series but in like,, the reader's POV. So anyways, all that to say I've very much been enjoying this and I'm excited to keep it going uwu 💕💞💓

I've also been having some formatting issues on this one, for some reason?? I tried fixing it up but please lmk if there's anything off AND lmk if you enjoyed <3

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Join my Patreon if you’d like to support me <3

Masterlist: x

It comes as no surprise when he ends up in bed, hard dick in his hand, thinking of you for the god-knows-how-many-th time

Try as he might to fervently rut into his clenched fist, he knows no feeling would ever compare to you bouncing on his cock instead

The taste of you on his tongue had dissipated much too quickly, but that doesn’t stop him from desperately trying to reimagine your arousal on his lips

He grunts, his hips grinding up, cock tensing and twitching in his hold

It’s torturous

He needs you

Precum beads up at his tip, and all he can think about is the way you’d lap it up with your tongue

Friends

Every time he imagines all the ways he could fuck you senseless, the word friends interrupts his fantasy

Really, he knows what he’s doing is wrong

He shouldn’t be having such depraved thoughts about someone who doesn’t want anything to do with him beyond friendship

But he can’t help it

You drive him wild

The sounds of your pretty little moans and whimpers are stuck on repeat in his head

The way your body writhed in his touch, the way your perfectly wet cunt tightened around his tongue—everything about you gets him drunk with lust

His room feels unbearably hot

Try as he might to relieve the throbbing ache of his stiff cock, it’s no use

He can’t be satisfied without you

And he realizes, fuck, you’ve triggered a heat

The next few days are absolute hell

He’s on and off his heat

Every time it’s on the cusp of dissipating, his thoughts scramble back to you, and it starts all over again

He waits at least a week before leaving his room—just to be sure seeing you won’t jeopardize anything

And it’s only a day or two after he leaves his room that he runs into you again

It’s an early morning, with pale sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows

You’re at the table, sipping on a coffee, and a few other creeps are scattered about the dining room and kitchen

He doesn’t know whether he should be irritated or grateful that there are other people around

Probably the latter, considering he wouldn’t know how to act if it was just the two of you

But it’s hard to feel grateful when Jeff decides to take a seat right next to you

And god, does he ever hate the way that guy looks at you sometimes

He debates staying or going as he makes his coffee

Staying might aggravate him if he notices Jeff trying to pull any moves on you

But on the other hand, leaving might risk something developing between you and Jeff

The more he can interfere between you and other potential suitors, the better

He can’t let anyone else have you

So even though he’s, admittedly, being childish when he takes the other open spot next to you, he tries to play it off like it’s nothing

Like he hasn’t been jerking off to the thought of you for the past week

You don’t seem to notice, but Jack doesn’t miss the way Jeff glares at him when he sits

Try me, Jack wants to say

Jeff huffs out a breath when he realizes the hybrid won’t back off

And the sheer audacity of that guy—thinking he can just waltz up to you and have you all to himself—it unlocks something primal within Jack

“What’s wrong?”

Your voice, as angelic as ever, suddenly breaks the mounting tension in the room

Jack feels like a filthy perv when the first thing that comes to mind is all those pretty sounds you made when you came against his mouth

He just wants to fuck more of those precious sounds out of you

Deep breaths, deep breaths

“What? What do you mean what’s wrong?” Jeff answers your question with his own, trying to act dumb

And thankfully, the grating sound of his voice is enough to snap Jack out of his fantasy

“Why do you look so aggravated all of a sudden?” you ask, your tone lighthearted and joking as you sip your coffee

“Yeah, Jeff, is something wrong?”

Jack tries to keep his voice as genuine as possible when he backs you up, but he knows Jeff is fully aware of the cocky grin he’s wearing beneath his mask

And he has to suppress a snicker when the guy glowers at him

“Just… life,” Jeff haphazardly grumbles, not wanting to admit Jack’s ruined the alone time he wanted with you

A cruel joke comes to the demon’s mind

It’s dumb and immature, and he knows he shouldn’t say it, but he wants to say it

So, he does

“Oh,” he hums, “is it that problem you’ve mentioned to me before?”

Jeff’s eyes meet his, brow arching

“What problem?” he asks, taking the bait

“You know,” Jack continues, trying to act as natural as possible, “that issue you’ve been having. I told you, you might need to change your diet. More fiber would help you become more regular…”

His chest practically swells with pride when you snort out a laugh

“Oh my god, is that what it is?”

You burst out laughing even harder at the expression on Jeff’s face

“The fuck!? That’s not even true! Why would you say that—what the fuck is your problem, man?!”

He can try to say whatever he wants, but it’s no use; he knows Jack’s gotten the best of him

With an angry snort, he stands

“Whatever, I’m over this,” he growls

And just like that, he walks away, leaving you and a very self-satisfied Jack alone at the table

He finally has you all to himself

Well, minus the creeps coming in and out for coffee and breakfast

But at least none of them seem particularly interested in you

Not in the way Jeff seemed to be, anyways

“Christ, he’s so dramatic,” you chuckle, shaking your head with a smile on your lips

There are suddenly butterflies in Jack’s stomach

God, you’re so fucking cute

“Was that even true?”

You look at him when you ask the question, and he almost forgets how to breathe for a minute

He shrugs, hoping you don’t notice the effect you have on him

“If he’s constipated? I mean, I don’t know if I should say anything about it. Seems like he’s embarrassed about it…”

You shake your head with a snicker

He wants to kiss you

Fuck, he really, really wants to kiss you right now

Crash his lips into yours until he’s all you can think about

He wants to wrap your legs around him, slam your back against the table and make out with you until you’re a pretty little dazed mess beneath him

Blood rushes to his junk

He shifts in place, trying to ignore it

Friends

As unwanted as ever, he’s reminded of that fucking word again

But even despite it, he isn’t entirely sure where the two of you stand

Hell—he’s more uncertain than ever

Did you really want to forget that whole thing happened in the first place?

Go about things like normal—as if he hadn’t buried his face between your thighs?

As if you hadn’t pulled his hair and whimpered his name when you came against his lips?

He takes a sip of his coffee in a vain attempt to distract himself

But it’s hard to think straight when his dick keeps throbbing for attention

He quietly clears his throats, as if that could help anything, and he shifts in place again, subtly trying to readjust himself in his grey sweats

It’s only when his knuckles accidentally graze your bare thigh, only when he hears your quiet little gasp, that he freezes in place

The sound was barely audible, but he knows what he heard

He glances down, and he almost groans out loud when he notices what you’re wearing

It’s those same fucking shorts

He’s at a loss for what to do

The both of you are in the middle of the kitchen dining room—for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t be having half the thoughts he’s having right now

But even then, he can’t bring himself to pull his hand away from your thigh

The minimal amount of skin-on-skin contact is making his head spin

He needs more

He’s never felt so insatiable

He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist stroking at your leg

The motion is slow, soft, calculated, so that he can enjoy every inch of your perfect skin

Neither of you move as he gently traces over your thigh with the back of his knuckles

His chest is pounding

He can hear your heart beating, your breath hitching in your throat whenever he gets closer to the edges of your shorts

He wants you

God, does he ever want you

That pesky word keeps coming to mind again, but he forces himself to forget about it

For now—at the very least

You don’t make a move to stop him

You almost seem to welcome his touch

But that uncertainty is still there

Which is why he takes things unbearably slowly when he moves his hand between your legs to grasp at the flesh of your inner thighs

You make what sounds like a quiet whimper

And the sound goes right to his cock

As if a whole week of jerking off to you wasn’t enough

Inch by inch, his touch dances further up along your thigh

And though it’s subtle, he can’t not notice the way you part your legs just the slightest bit more for him

You’re giving him permission to touch you—right here, right now—of all places?

He breathes in, and when he gets a whiff of your scent, he decides fuck it, there’s no way he can let this opportunity slip him by

So under the cover of the table, even despite the few creeps still lingering about, he pushes past the material of your shorts to access your sex

You’re wet

You’re already turned on for him—he can feel it through your underwear

Screw anyone around to see, he wants to bend you over this table right now and fuck his cum inside you

He wants to breed you and mark you and make sure everyone knows by the sounds of your screams that you’re all fucking his

He strokes your slit up and down through your panties, and he adores the way it has you squirming in place

Fuck, you’re so cute

He wants to ruin you

But he also wants to enjoy every second of this

So he takes his sweet, sweet time running his fingers along your covered sex until he can feel you getting wetter and wetter

It isn’t long for you to thoroughly soak through your panties

And all he wants is to taste you all over again

He swallows down a growl at the thought

His body’s burning for yours

You keep squirming and quietly gasping as he teases you

And he’s so entranced by you, he nearly forgets you’re in an open room

All he can focus on is the way your body’s reacting to him

Whatever delicate threads of control he’s still grasping onto feel like they’re slipping from his hold

When you whine his name out, so cute and desperate and needy for him, it’s all the approval he needs

He pushes your underwear to the side and runs his fingers up and down your slit

The way your arousal gathers on the pads of his fingers almost makes him lose it

He just wants to pull you into his lap and fuck up into you until you’re gushing around his cock

But somehow, he manages to hold himself back

He teases at your clit very, very briefly, before then slowly sinking two digits into your opening

His chest rumbles with an involuntary groan as he immediately feels you clench around him

You bite back a moan, but he can still hear the way you sigh at the feeling

You’re so wet, so perfectly tight around him

He imagines how good you’d feel wrapped around his dick

You shift in place, breathing his name out in a shaky moan, and it’s a miracle he still has the self-control to not screw your brains out yet

He’s about to suggest taking things to your room when Hoodie walks in and locks eyes with you

If Jack were any more coherent beyond his lust, he’d probably pull his hand out of your pants

But he’s beyond giving a shit at this point

The proxy pauses, almost curiously, and instead of going for the fridge or pantry, or wherever he was going to go, he makes his way towards you

Jack feels you stiffen

You clench around his fingers, your breathing uneven

He knows he should stop

But he’s not done enjoying the warmth of your tight cunt fluttering around him

And so what if Hoodie notices?

At least then, he’d know who you belong to

The demon is entirely aware he’s being selfish

But he can’t bring himself to care

He’s too far gone

So even as he watches Hoodie greet you, even as he watches you, dazed and horny and sex-drunk off his fingers, struggling to greet the proxy normally, he doesn’t pull away

Let him know

Let him know who you’re allowing to do such depraved things to you

“(Y/n), you missed our training session this morning,” Hoodie says, and a bout of anger flares up in Jack’s chest

Oh how he loathes the thought of another man getting physical with you

It makes him curl his fingers inside you to reach right up against a spot that has you cinching around him

You squeeze your eyes shut, biting your lip briefly before you can recover

“Y-yeah, uhm, sorry about that”

Your voice is shaky, your face visibly flushed

But you haven’t even tried to stop Jack yet

You want this as much as he does

“I, ah, I meant to let you know, but I—I forgot… to mention it”

In and out, the hybrid painstakingly slowly pumps his fingers inside your velvety walls as you try to talk normally

He flattens his palm against your clit, and your hips buck against his touch, which you quickly try to pass off as shifting in your seat

“Hm, that’s alright,” the proxy hums, then tilts his head curiously. “Is it because you weren’t feeling well? You look kind of… off”

Jack stiffens as the man reaches out to press his hand against your cheek

It’s just to check if you’re feverish, the logical part of him knows that, but the irrational part of him despises that he’s just laid a finger on you

A warning growl emanates out of his chest—low enough that it seems to slip Hoodie’s attention, but loud enough that you seem to notice it

You’re his—what’s not to fucking understand?

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just… ah, j-just didn’t sleep too well—“

Something like a choked moan evades you again, and you have to pretend to cough to avoid suspicion

Jack grinds his hand against your clit, and your whole body reacts to his touch

“S’alright,” the demon hums, and he briefly wonders if Hoodie notices the unusually husky timber of his voice when he does, “she might have the flu, but I’m checking up on it. She should be fine, nothing serious”

You squirm, and he teases at your sweet spot again, the calloused pads of his fingers rubbing right where you need it most

You can’t look Hoodie in the eyes as your thighs start trembling

Your hand looks unsteady as you bring the coffee to your lips, but you manage to drink it down without spilling anything

The proxy glances between you and Jack, and Jack wonders if he’s caught on yet

Either way, if he has, he doesn’t show it

“Well, alright, I hope you feel better soon. Let me know when you want to train next time”

You nod, humming to hide another whimper as Jack’s fingers don’t relent

And then finally, finally, Hoodie leaves

As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jack crams his fingers into your inviting heat in a slew of rough thrusts

You gasp, almost moaning out very loudly before you manage to cover your mouth to muffle it

It doesn’t take long for you to cum around his digits

And god, you’re breath-taking as you do so

Your back arches, body tensing as your teeth bite down hard into your lips to prevent a scream from escaping

How he wishes those were his teeth biting into you instead

And just like that first time he made you cum, he can’t seem to bring himself to stop

It’s only when you’re shaking from the overstimulation, only when you reach out to pull his hand away, that he finally relents

His fingers are dripping with your arousal

He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist bringing them up to his mouth to taste you off his digits

And fuck, you taste just as good as you did the first time

You’re panting, chest heaving, a perfectly unfocused look in your eyes

He wants to pick you up, take you to the nearest bedroom and fuck you stupid

Friends, fuck-buddies, potential partners—he doesn’t know where the two of you stand

But at this point, labels don’t matter, he thinks, not really, anyways

He’s not letting anything come between the two of you

You're his

[respectthepetty]

So Live in Love decided to go all the way left in the final episode and gave me unhinged madness for 90+ minutes starting with Red Rascal Amp leaning into his color coding and being a red flag.

And the person he was working with to sabotage Cake and Kla's relationship was even worse as she held a blue rose to show her commitment to getting Blue Boy Kla.

But I'm pissed because I went against what the colors were telling me and truly believed the red bathroom was a red herring and Red Rascal Amp was not behind the locked door, so even though this last episode was bananas, the colors were consistent and never lied! Amp was the culprit and the colors stated that from the start!

And I knew who his partner was before we even saw her face! Khing wants to be the Pink Person that Kla loves so badly that she is willing to fake her color and her personality.

So I was really worried that Red Rascal Amp was going to continue to be the worst of his color and do something horrible to Cake to make sure he could keep him all to himself.

Because I already knew this chick was not going to let up on her plan since she came this far.

Even when she was caught red-handed (hehe), she still put on an act (the pink) and only focused on getting the Blue Boy of her dreams.

KLA WAS PISSED! As he should have been!

He was tired of everyone coming between him and Cake, so standing in between the pink on the left and the blue on the right, Kla finally told Amp that he needed to quit his shit or suffer the consquences.

And now I'm seeing all the red flags I missed about Khing! The chick was crazy all along!

She leached onto Kla because he showed her the care she never got from her father, yet I ignored the clear warning signs that Khing was a little too passionate about Kla.

So I'm glad Amp dulled his red a bit and realized his mistakes while Gina decided to finally be true to herself (which is probably why she was wearing everyone else's colors all the time because she was trying to fit in!).

And even though Khing ended the first half of the finale in a pit of dark despair while holding Kla's blue sweater, the narrative decided to forgive everyone for their outlandish (and criminal) behavior, so she got to go abroad to sort herself out.

Pink Person Cake can now freely wear his Blue Boy's color without the threat of online harassment, kidnapping, and sexual assault lingering over his head.

Orange Oddity Pon also officially declares his love for his Cyan Cutie Gam via social media to announce they are boyfriends.

Good for them.

And Kla takes a page out of their love story to do the same (but why do they have to go live?!). Cake sits right next to him in both of their colors solidifying that they are in love and no one can tear them apart (not even the girl who decided kidnap and sexual assault was the answer).

So everyone ends up next to the one they love and in their color.

And when Pink Person Cake graduates, he still, somehow, has both his and Kla's colors on him to show they are stronger than ever.

Gina even joins the celebrations by acknowledging that Cake is the one Kla picked with her present of blue flowers.

Oh, yeah, and Khing is there too, in pink . . . which I still don't trust.

And the ship I have wanted to sail this entire series between Green Guy Tim and Red Rascal Amp finally leaves the harbor!

Now that everyone else is settled, Pink Person Cake and Blue Boy Kla can live happily ever after with their pink and blue sticky notes.

And their book of memories (that is not the same title as the show, and I'm slightly irked about it, but Thai and English and translations or something like that, so it is what it is).

In the end, everyone is happy and working together in color-coded bliss, so all is well that end's well.

(Except Khing truly thought sexual assault was the answer and this show really just glossed over that, pero . . . oookay)

[my-hot-awkward-turian-boyfriend]

Official Shakarian & Mass Effect Fanfics Master Post

all of my shakarian and mass effects fics in one post, divided into categories: one shots, chapter fics, series, gifts/giveaways

ONE SHOTS:

some things you just can't speak about

4.4k words, rated T, updated May 14th, 2024, "three short shakarian scenes: after the battle of the citadel, before the suicide mission, and after they've been reunited six months later" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/33066811

First Choice

6.8k words, rated T, "a series of moments from the first, second, and third games showcasing the growth of Garrus and Shepard's friendship and relationship" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/33245413

and for the first time i had something to lose

2.2k words, rated T, "Garrus moving through the motions of life after the war, always imagining Shepard is still there with him" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/37477735

prove that i'm me, prove that i'm yours

2k words, rated T, "Garrus questions Shepard's identity after being dead for two years, but after the events of his rescue on Omega, she promises to prove herself to him (and maybe realises she has deeper feelings)" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/38504269

we always find our way back to each other

6k words, rated T, "Shep doesn't recruit Garrus for the Saren mission, but every time she returns to the Citadel, they just so happen to bump into each other, and he's always there when she needs someone" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/38989122

tell me it's okay not to be all right

7.4k words, rated T, "Garrus dealing with losing Shep multiple times in multiple ways but never giving up on her and always being willing to follow her lead" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/40121526

the first rule of f*** club is: you do not talk about f*** club

1.2k words, rated M, the title honestly says it all; there's just no good way to summarize this fic ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/41340453

Needs Satisfied

2.5k words, rated E, "Shep takes Garrus' offer of *needing* him quite literally and they hook up in the main battery because waiting until the end of me2 is just silly when there's already so much sexual tension in the air" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/47238556

In Good Company

3.6k words, rated E, "Aria tells Shep to find someone to hookup with, and Shep decides that that probably wouldn't be such a bad idea. She wants Garrus but is under the impression Garrus doesn't want her. Until, that is, he comes across her flirting with another turian in the club. It's all uphill from there." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/49033144

caught between a rock and a hard turian

6k words, rated E, "Garrus gets hit by cloud of sex pollen and Shep is the one who needs to help with his release to get the reaction out of his system. They both think the sex is strictly situational until Shep approaches Garrus to talk with him about it after the fact. That's when they finally realise they've both been harbouring feelings for each other." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/49741477

here in the shadow of bittersweet memories

2.3k words, rated T, no dialogue, the development of Garrus' relationship with Shepard throughout the trilogy, ambiguous/open ending, inspired by the song "She Always Takes It Black" by Benjamin Francis Leftwich ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/55607125

his hand, so calloused from his pistol, softly traces hearts on my face

3k words, rated E, AU, "Garrus is Shep's target but trying to catch and capture him turns into more of a game than anything...and then the game turns into something a bit more genuine" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/56501716

i've seen how it ends and the joke's on them

4.5k words, rated E, "When Shep propositions Garrus for sex out of the blue, he decides it would be foolish to deny her (and foolish to deny the crush that's been building for some time now) but he comes to find out it was simply a misunderstanding... or was it?" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/58640272

CHAPTER FICS:

torment me, challenge me, make me bleed

68.7k words, 10 chapters, rated E, "If Garrus had followed through with actually reapplying for spectre status. Still follows the events of me2 and me3 rather closely but with some variations. Additional/missing scenes. Altered scenes. Rearranged dialogue." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/36648406/chapters/91415290

When Planets Align

63.2k words, 11 chapters, rated E, "Shepard is brought back by Cerberus and her first mission is to track down Omega's infamous Archangel. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. Nor can anything ever be simple." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/36485758/chapters/90981499

a memory is nothing more than a stepping stone

39.3k words, 6 chapters, rated E, "Post-me3 Shep has just woken up in a hospital to the sound of gunfire. She doesn't remember how she got there--or the turian who shows up to help her escape the men trying to track her down. Turns out she doesn't remember anything from the last nearly four years of her life..." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/41401683/chapters/103823640

A Rose By Any Other Name

40.5k words, 3 chapters, rated E, Beauty & the Beast AU, "A universe where Shep works for the Shadow Broker and is assigned a mission to look into who Archangel is and discovers far more than she ever could've imagined (or dreamed of) both about Archangel and herself" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/40879761/chapters/102442695

the path reveals itself with each step taken forward

15.8k words, 3 chapters, rated E, "A timeline of the events from a memory is nothing more than a stepping stone but from Garrus' POV instead... Experience Garrus' side and feelings from dealing with Shep having no memory of him or their relationship." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/42647103/chapters/107126943

Doubled Edged Lockdown

15.5k words, 8 chapters, rated E, "AU where Shep is sent to assassinate Archangel but everything about her plan backfires when the station goes into a lockdown and they end up being stuck together for an undisclosed amount of time" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/43114659/chapters/108350778

magnificently cursed (the fatal flaw)

40.5k words, 8 chapters, rated E, "The first contact war has just ended, and the humans and turians have agreed upon an alliance through marriage. Novella Shepard is the human volunteer, which she has no qualms about...until she meets Garrus Vakarian, whom she has a brief yet passionate affair with. Except he is not the turian volunteer.... In the end, will the alliance come to fruition, or will it turn into another disaster?" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/47581291/chapters/119918797

Mixing Work With Pleasure

17.1k words, 4 chapters, rated E, "AU where Garrus and Shep are set up on a blind date and end up really hitting it off. Turns out they're also working in the same profession, although that's not discussed until the day they realise they work for the same company. How they find out is not necessarily planned, but they're not complaining about the new experience" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/49205854/chapters/124157668

the fate of the stars

4.7k words, 22 chapters, rated T, "A collection of drabbles using tarot and appointing each major arcana to certain moments/sequences from throughout the trilogy..." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/50110447/chapters/126546565

once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned (checkmate)

73.1k words, 6 chapters, rated E, "A minor retelling of the series based on if Shepard and Garrus had met years before the Saren mission and how their relationship progresses over time" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/54178876/chapters/137183806

SERIES:

it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you

22.6k words, rated E, complete, "shakarian smut after significant moments throughout the trilogy" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/series/2550892

love in the dark

10.3k words, rated E, complete, "AU canon divergence of moments Shep and Garrus get together without realising they're about to be with each other again" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/series/3031101

roleplay

6.2k words, rated E, ongoing, "Shep and Garrus in different roleplay scenarios" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/series/3548890

and then there were three...

23.1k words, rated E, complete, "Shep and Garrus inviting Adrien Victus into their sex life (and eventually relationship)" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/series/3574465

Tantalising Turians

44.2k words, rated E, originally complete but now has more to come, "Novella Shepard hooking up with just about every named turian throughout the trilogy (porn with plot)" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/series/3823585

get a room; this place has enough of them

19.9k words, rated E, complete, "Shep and Garrus hooking up in every single room of the apartment (courtesy of a comment made by Zaeed)" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/series/4206727

GIFTS/GIVEAWAYS:

fake it till we make it

13.3k words, rated T, "Shep and Garrus never got together during the actual trilogy timeline and after the war they start pretending to date for Garrus' sake but Shep quickly realises that she may not be able to pretend for long" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/40845417

Ruthless Calculus of the Heart

19.2k words, rated T, "Garrus figuring out how to become reacquainted with this new Shep, who used to be so hardcore before she died, and is now the complete opposite.... Meanwhile, Shep is trying to un-teach everything she had taught Garrus during their first mission together. Easier said than done...." ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/42488880

my one and only (i don't want you like a best friend)

14.2k words, rated M, "Shepard and Garrus start hooking up long before the aftermath of Garrus' loyalty mission (or the suicide mission, for that matter), but they still try to be discreet and keep their newfound relationship a secret from the rest of the crew" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/44735905

Cover It Up With A Kiss

3.5k words, part 1/2 of the Never Better series, rated E, "Garrus and Shep hook up during an undercover mission, which ends up leading to more than either of them ever could've anticipated (or hoped for)" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/45003325

Uncover It With A Look

3.1k words, part 2/2 of the Never Better series, rated E, "Shep and Garrus have reunion sex in the main battery after Garrus reboards the Normandy after the Menae mission in me3 (six months is a lot of time to make up for)" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/45204919

Legacy

3.1k words, rated T, "Shep and Garrus simply living a normal life and enjoying retirement after the reaper invasion" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/45427156

The Dark Side of the Moon

8.6k words, rated M, "Garrus dealing with the grief of losing Shepard (again) and not knowing how to handle it properly until getting the idea to return to the colony she's from to help them rebuild and help him feel connected to her, but never does he expect the people he'll run into there" ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/45744922

[jillflame]

LACKADAISY ENDGAME PREDICTION

So before we start, BE WARNED OF SPOILERS!!! I'll be drawing from a lot of different panels and bonus material, so if you would like to avoid spoilers for the comic and bonus stuff, go read everything on the Lackadaisy official website (seriously go read it its amazing) and then come right back here!

To begin, I've been in the mood for some Lackadaisy theories.

Mostly concerning the fun scavenger-hunt bonus feature on their website, jocosely titled "Funeral Home".

Everybody who's played around with the feature has figured out that if you put various characters' names into it, you get fed back quotes from the pilot. All except Atlas, who spits back this:

I've seen a lot of theories circulating that Atlas was drowned or that his death was somehow tied to water, but we know that isn't true because we get a glimpse into his death in 'Introduction 2':

Atlas was clearly shot (or stabbed, i guess, but far more likely he was shot given the importance of guns to the Lackadaisy.) But I'm not here to spectate on whether Mordecai and Mitzi killed him... yet

I'm here to talk about how whatever that 'sounds of rushing water' foreshadows is something that could potentially be a large clue into the secrets he kept in conjunction with the Lackadaisy before his death. Whether this secret is tied to how he died, whatever lead to it, or something he left behind for the Lackadaisy, it's likely going to play a large role in the series. I personally think that whatever secret lies guarded by that rushing water (probably alcohol... and lots of it) is going to end up being the key to saving the Lackadaisy when it's at its lowest...and I'm starting to fear that Rocky might end up paying the price for it.

As important as fire and dramatic dynamite explosions are to Rocky's character, he's often associated literarily more with water. The comic really doesn't shy away from highlighting the importance of the Mississippi either. ^This line in Rocky's now pilot-famous poem particularly sticks out to me too. 'Umber Whiskey Waters". It's a line meant to convey the color of the river, but it could also very much be foreshadowing at its finest. "Whiskey Waters."

The importance of Rocky's involvement isn't a mistake either, because another clue that alcohol is being guarded by the famous river could also be drawn from Rocky's own character bio pic.

We can clearly see that he's standing on a barrel with three prominent X's carved into the side. These three Xs, as I've come to find out, confirm that the barrel IS carrying alcohol, and even clue us into the type of alcohol we might be looking at.

I managed to find a useful paragraph from THIS website that states,

"An ‘X’ is also used to record the number of distillations of some alcoholic drinks. With each distillation the alcohol content rises, so the more distillations (or Xs) the stronger the brew, though the Xs on a bottle of whisky or rum do not necessarily indicate the alcohol content."

So each X represents a distillation cycle. Three X's basically mean it's the GOOD STUFF. Today, this can still be seen primarily associated with moonshine-

For those of you who don't know (like I didn't until I fell into this rabbit hole), moonshine is defined as a homemade, un-aged whiskey. It has a clear color, a corn base, a high alcohol content, and it's traditionally bottled in mason jars. (I ripped all of this right from google)

During the prohibition, the demand for moonshine would have risen drastically, but a more important key-phrase to take away from all that is the 'clear color'. Not very 'umber whiskey waters' of it, UNTIL you read about how umber whiskey gets its color.

It absorbs its color by maturing in wooden casks. And this process can take a while. One might even catch his death waiting around that long. HahHAhaAHAHAhahahah

*ahem* Sorry. But, there might be some truth there. Whiskey needs to be matured for a minimum of 3 years, many being matured for far longer than that, and only one year has passed between Atlas's death and the current timeline.

All of this for me just confirms that there's some umber alcohol in those waters, or more probably, tucked away under it. We don't know how long its been there for, or who, besides Atlas himself, might know of its existence, but let's not forget Atlas's VAST stretch of underground tunnels that the Lackadaisy provides access to. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to think that he might have had a tunnel or two filled with maturing whiskey, hidden deep underground, maybe close to the Mississippi... maybe dangerously close. Maybe they're a reckless act away from flooding entirely, spilling their valuable contents into the river... causing lots of destruction....

This might be a bad time to re-remind everybody of Rocky's drowning motif.

eh... im sure he'll be fine...

Furthermore... the article I linked above leaves us on THIS cheery note...

"Other applications for a series of Xs occur within the writing fraternity, whereby a writer completing a manuscript concludes the text with a single line of ‘XXX’ to signify to printers and editors that this is ‘The End.’"

[vixentheplanet]

endless (love)

“I know, I've found in you my endless love.”

shuri x black!reader | 18+

Summary: Nine years after a drunken love confession.

heiress series: 1. heartbeat | 2. afterglow

word count: 5k

themes: heiress reader, marriage, babies, reader is a nervous mommy which is okay, therapy, trauma healing, fluff, and smut.

warnings: mentions of drugs, panic attack, fear of abandonment, and sex.

dedicated to @shurislover because you’re so sweet omg 🥲🩷

hi ✨- i think that’s all of them…. illicit nights part two never going back up btw lmao i have to find the energy to rework that

The limo driver barely comes to a complete stop in front of the starry Esmé sign before you rush the door open, nearly knocking down the valet who had anticipated to be the one to open it for you. "I'm sorry!" you exclaim hurriedly without turning back. You had one thing on your mind, and you were almost there. You enter the rotating door without having to identify yourself to the police and Dora Milaje stationed outside.

Even with the heart-shaped herb's advantages, Shuri couldn't keep up with you as you strutted across the lobby. You're sure people were gazing at you with wide eyes as they recognized who you were—Hotel Heiress, Queen of Wakanda (one of them), and a new title that had you trending online all the time. Yet you were a woman on a mission, and nothing could deter you except the elevator wait time.

A frustrated grumble escapes your lips as you tap your feet impatiently on the carpet. "Fucking asshole," you mutter, continually hitting the button as if it will make the doors open faster.

—

You were so lost in contemplation that you failed to notice your wife's efforts to keep up with you. Shuri looks worriedly at you and says, "Y/N. My love, you must relax."

"I'm fine—can this elevator move any faster? I'm going to sue whoever built this elevator. Oh my-“ The elevator chimes, interrupting your tirade, and you rush into the gold cart, scanning the key card before pressing the button to move it.

A hand massages calming patterns on your bare shoulder while you're dazedly viewing the numbers on display above. "Look at me," your wife urges softly. "You have to breathe, Y/N," she says, making you aware of how tight your chest is, but you can ignore it.

The strain of the evening starts to break free with a deep sigh as you stretch your shoulders. You were back in New York on official business, which meant that you weren't interested in anything that didn't need your direct participation as Queen of Wakanda. Amaya and her boyfriend, on the other hand, had asked you and Shuri to dinner tonight.

Amaya wanted to introduce you to her new partner, but you refused. "If they're still together the next time we visit New York, we'll know it's serious and worth leaving our children." You argue, putting emphasis on the last word. Shuri was having none of it.

Your therapist and wife noted how often you needed to be reminded to maintain the equilibrium between motherhood and your identity—the importance of embracing this new aspect of your life while still having fun.

"No, this is their first time here. It's unfamiliar territory, and we've been gone for some time. God alone knows what's going through their heads. They’re probably so confused.”

First, you said no, but after a long stare-down and Shuri's insistence, you eventually agreed—though not without a few safety precautions. The infants had grown used to the safety and security of the Wakandan Palace. So, did you ask that police officers identify everyone entering and exiting the building? Yes. Did you call Marco from the bar and urge him to come to babysit the twins? Yes. Were the Dora Milaje stationed inside the penthouse, outside the elevator, and at the hotel's front door? Yes, as well. Everyone understood that it was best to take the extra step of caution, and they wouldn't dare argue with you.

Maybe you were being overprotective, but you were not taking risks with the hotel's penthouse housing the children of the Èsme Heiress and Black Panther, Queen of Wakanda. 

You remember the ultrasound during your first trimester. The doctor made the happy announcement that you were carrying twins. In your state of astonishment, you recall telling the doctor, "Two? We only asked for one.” Alternating your gaze between the screen and Shuri, whose eyes were as wide as yours.

The twins may have come as a shock, but they are the best present the universe could provide to you and your wife. The feelings of love, affection, and protectiveness were intense, to the point of being nearly overpowering. You became their mother the second you touched your babies. 

Vatusia and Vian Esmé-Udaku.

Their hazel-brown eyes looked directly at you, and as unmistakable as anything you've ever encountered in your life, they declared, ‘I'm entirely vulnerable. I need you.’ You'd never felt more important. The sheer sense of urgency caught you off guard. Yet only for a brief moment—a billionth of a second at most. You returned their gaze and signaled in every manner conceivable, ‘I've got you. I'm not going anywhere.’

"They're protected," Shuri reassured you on the way to the restaurant after everything was in place, but your body refused to ease. Even on the ride back when you knew you'd soon be holding your children again. It needed to be more. You have to see them. For them to see you and know you were still there. You hadn’t left.

You step out of the elevator, ready to sprint through the corridor to the entrance, but Shuri's unexpected grasp on your wrist stops you. For a split second, you feel betrayed, not understanding why Shuri wanted to keep you away from the twins for yet another moment or two. She opens her mouth to speak, but you immediately cut her off. "Can we talk about whatever it is inside?"

The queen shakes her head. "The twins are safe, Angel. There would have been communication if that were not the case. We're standing right outside the front entrance. However, you remain anxious. You're not being completely honest with me about how you feel."

The words of Shuri cut deep, rendering you silent. Shuri was correct. You were afraid to say it aloud, but you understood why you felt the way you did. It was ridiculous to believe you could hide anything from the woman you'd been with for ten years. You could tell each other's feelings and nonverbal signs without saying anything. When you surrender to her embrace, you take a deep breath and look up into her eyes. Those who meet yours are looking for you to say what's on your mind, and they won't stop staring until you do.

Dr. Faraji often stressed the importance of vocalizing your thoughts to your wife. The importance of when you're feeling low, lean on your partner for a bit of support. She was right. Shuri always helps bring you back in touch with reality and energizes you with words of encouragement. 

"They've never been in the penthouse before, and I'm not there. I don't want them to think I abandoned them," you whisper in the last sentence, your anxieties forcing you to bite your lower lip.

The pained expression on Shuri’s face at your confession makes your heartbreak. She’s in your space, consuming the entire area between you as a palm caresses your weary features, relaxing instantly. "Y/N," she replies firmly. "You are not your mother," she explains.

You look down, breaking eye contact. "I know. And still, I can't stop thinking about my childhood and experiences. I don't want them to feel that way even for a second." They wouldn't recall these times today since they were only a few months old, but they still had emotions and consciousness. Your memories of your younger self are vivid—a child who failed to receive constant loving or caring attention. You were unable to build close relationships when your mother abandoned you, leaving you with continuous tension and worry.

Gentle fingertips on your lower back entice you to avoid the traumatic past. "Y/N, such an assumption will only bring you down. You should be present. In current time with our beautiful family." Tender lips gently press on your cheek. "You and our children are a blessing to me. "You're an amazing mother," Shuri adds, and the sediment warms your body.

The tightness in your chest dissipates as your attention is drawn to the love of your life. "You are, too," you assure her, although you always tell each other this. Shuri adjusted to parenting faster than you did. It could be because she's constantly evolving and adapting to new conditions. Motherhood was no different; it was simply more permanent.

Above all, she was crucial for the kids and you. You felt a lot of stress and emotional drain as a mother. It's one thing to be a first-time mom, but it's quite another to be a first-time mom of two. The fear that you would forget something or make a mistake had become stronger. Your thoughts were so chaotic with all the worst things that may happen that Shuri had to make you stop and think about the good things.

Shuri was a calming presence in what can be a tumultuous and perplexing world—increasing your inner strength and being the rock on which your kids can depend.

When you were working through your abandonment issues with your therapist, Dr. Faraji questioned, "Would you ever want to experience motherhood?"

The question takes you by surprise. You pause for a moment to consider your response before speaking again. “I wouldn’t want to fuck up. One misstep and your child is wearing a dress that is just fabric. Snorting cocaine in Ibiza," the phrases are so raw and honest that you can't help but chuckle uncomfortably. The prospect of your child being anything like you is horrifying.

Regardless of how painful your statements are,  Dr. Faraji smiles. “You didn’t say no,” she notes, and you blink. You didn't say no since you hadn't considered having children, but now that she's brought it up, your primary concern is whether you'd be a decent mother. "I sense a lot of anxiety surrounding the matter, which leads to confusion, but I have to ask.  Is your marriage to your wife similar to your parents?"

The notion of comparing your parents to what you and Shuri have caused your brows to wrinkle. "God no," Your father was never able to be present during his marriage to your mother. Marriage requires effort. You were aware of this, so when the subject came up, you explained to Shuri that you wanted time to think things through first. Even though you were certain that Shuri would be at your side for the rest of your life, you still worried that some of your past trauma might seep into your relationship and cause problems down the road. Shuri encouraged you to see a therapist, and through her networks, you were able to see Dr. Faraji, a leading clinical psychologist in Wakanda. Once you came to terms with your history, you recognized you couldn't let the old you keep you from progressing.

"We're not like them at all." Shuri makes you feel intelligent, charming, gorgeous, creative, and like your best self. She helps you to flourish by highlighting and enhancing your best qualities. There are aspects of you that she understands that you simply can't put into words.

The atmosphere surrounding Shuri is warm and inviting, just as it should be with the person you hope to marry or spend the rest of your life with. You have discovered a level of safety in each other and the future. Following the wedding, you realize that the two of you are more evenly matched than ever before, and you wonder why you ever questioned otherwise.

It's not uncommon for Shuri to find you looking absentmindedly at your ring, at which point you proudly inform her of your good fortune in being adored by her.

Dr. Faraji directs your attention away from pleasant recollections and onto the current subject matter. "Yes, you can't let your upbringing's fear keep you from pursuing the things you desire in the future.  Imagine your life if your heart had not subconsciously yearned for love?”

Given all of the drugs, drinking, and partying. "I'd most likely be dead," you confess. Your lifestyle was unsustainable, and Shuri should not have fit in, yet she did. She literally and metaphorically saved you that night. Life is love. A human being cannot exist without love. Shuri brought new life into you by loving you.

“But you’re here. You've evolved into a brilliant woman, a prominent design and political figure, and an excellent wife."

When your therapist recited your many successes over the last seven years, you choked back the question, "Are you trying to make me cry?" I don't have time to redo my makeup after this since I have a very hectic schedule." Dr. Faraji is not offended by your forthright demeanor. I was aware of your aversion to showing your feelings.

She chuckles as she adjusts her eyeglasses. “No, I am not trying to make you cry, Y/N. My point is that you shouldn't allow your history to prevent you from attaining what you want. And, if it's any consolation, I believe you and Shuri would make wonderful parents."

Perhaps Faraji had psychic abilities since she was spot on. You and Shuri are both excellent mothers. Two years later, you gave birth to your children after much preparation and consideration. Two lovely representations of the love you and Shuri have created. Building something in which elements of the two of you can exist in your children.

There you are, where it all began holding onto each other. You're standing in the center of the hall, embracing each other tightly as Shuri gives you time to catch your breath. Shuri sighs contentedly, a little chuckle escaping her lips. "What is it?" you inquire.

“I remember getting your drunk voicemail, and the only thing running through my mind was, ‘Go get her.’ This ache in my chest, that if I didn’t get to you as soon as possible, I would lose my chance.” You grimaced at the thought of that night, but you were always thankful for the courage of your intoxicated self all those years ago. “Stop bringing that up,” you groan. 

Shuri shakes her head, still fond of the memory, “It was the start of our love story. Now, I’m walking down this hallway with my wife and two children waiting for us. Life is a funny thing.” 

You smile when she mentions 'my wife' and the world you've created together. A future you never expected to have, but you're so thrilled it's yours. Shuri is all yours. "You saved my life," you say quietly.

"You are my life," Shuri responds, kissing your forehead. “You’re the greatest gift Bast could ever bestow upon me.” And just when you thought it was impossible, you fell even more in love.

You press your lips together and give each other a brief kiss. "Come on, let's go put the babies to bed," you say, and Shuri agrees, relieved that your panic has eased. As you walk down the corridor, you pull apart yet keep your hands entwined. You are greeted as soon as you go through the entrance and into the living room. Vian is the first to notice his parents dropping the block he was holding and crawling from the playmat.

You crouch down instinctively, allowing Vian to crawl into your arms with wobbly movements before lifting the soon-to-be one-year-old in a solid grasp. You missed your children. "Hello, my little bear," you coo, tickling the delicate skin beneath his chin. Vian reacts instantaneously, soft joyous cries from his tiny lips.

You feel overwhelmingly happy whenever you hear your baby boy laughing. “Silly boy. Were you good for Marco?” You ask in a sing-song tone.

The man in question gets off the sofa. “Perfect angels,” Marco insists, cradling Vatusia in his arms. The young child was content until she discovered you and Shuri had returned. Your little girl reached out for Shuri with grabby motions, her eyes pleading for comfort from her mother.

Shuri sprang into action without hesitating, moving at lightspeed to take Vatusia. "Did you miss me and Mommy, Tutu?" Shuri coos, lovingly brushing her nose on Vatusia's button nose. Vatusia's loud and cheerful giggles echo through the room while Vian lays his head on your shoulder after his bout of laughs. On the other hand, his sister was a very active baby who constantly sought stimulation and enjoyed exploring. Vian was calm and easygoing. He could doze off anyplace and be content to play by himself. He watches everything around him but rarely demands attention, though, of course, you shower him with unending love and affection.

"Thank you very much, Marco."

“Yes, thank you.” Shuri agrees, having grown comfortable with the older man. Marco's wedding speech was a crowd favorite. "We would not be here today if I hadn't found the pen successfully." The guest went wild with amusement at his story. Marco was the only person you could entrust your children to outside of the Dora’s, though you soon discussed hiring a nanny whenever you returned to work.

"Anytime," the man says, beaming as he observes your miraculous transformation.

You're rocking Vian slowly while massaging small circular patterns on his back. "You have to operate a hotel. Get back to work,” you joke. Recognizing the promotion you gave the former bartender.

Marco humors you with a salute. “You got it, boss.” At Marco’s dismissal from the penthouse, the Dora’s stationed inside nod and leave, leaving you and Shuri alone with your children.  

You take slow steps to your wife, ensuring not to disturb the baby boy in your arms, and smile at your joyful daughter. You lean in for a kiss on the forehead and tell her, "We missed you too, baby." The brown-eyed girl cackles at the reception of your love, and it’s the most precious sound you’ve ever heard.

Later after you’ve changed, having let Shuri go first, you return to find her lying in bed. Vian peacefully rests on her chest, his little mouth creating a slight pout. Vatusia lies cradled on her side, not quite sleeping, but a small yawn escapes her lips as her eyelids droop. The babies are dressed in pale blue Christian Dior onesies that your brother purchased. Your heart melts at the view. "Do I need to put them in their crib?" You ask. The twins had separate beds in their nursery in Wakanda, but for this short visit, you chose a single crib to hold them both. They're still relatively small.

“In a little. I want to make sure they sleep well before moving them.” Shuri’s tone is hushed so as not to disturb the peaceful atmosphere.

Always so attentive. “Okay.” You climb into bed, cuddling on your side to watch the scene until Shuri needs your help getting the restful babies to their bed. You can't help but reach out to lightly stroke Vatusia's silky hair so as not to startle her.

Shuri's words about the significance of being present come to mind. That was a journey, and you had to be patient with yourself. Mindfulness is a technique that trains you to look for happiness in the present rather than dwelling on the past.

You block off any outside influences that can distract you and give your full attention to the now. Vatusia twitches slightly and breathes shallowly. A deep sleep should come quickly to her soon. Apart from the rise and fall of his chest, Vian is fast asleep, calm, and motionless. It's so easy to become absorbed in the tranquility of these two beautiful beings that are a part of both of you, literally made of you.

You raise your gaze to Shuri, who is already looking back at you. The expression on your face is sufficient to convey your emotions. You still have to say it. But Shuri beats you to it: "I love you," she exhales.

And you don't hesitate to return the sentiment. "I love you."

The day you had started routinely. You and Shuri woke up beside each other. Griot alerted you the moment the twins woke up, opening the door connected to your bedroom. 

As you look down at the sleepy baby girl stirring awake, you notice an irregular pattern with her breathing. Nerves rise. “Do you think Vatusia’s breathing is weird?” you ask your wife, who was busying herself with gathering Vian. 

Shuri frowns, pausing to listen to her child’s breathing before calling out, “Griot, what’s Tutu’s oxygen levels.”

The AI responds immediately, constantly tracking the twin's vitals. “Princess Vatusia Esmé-Udaku’s oxygen levels are sustaining between 95-100%.” 

“And her respiratory rate,” Shuri inquires, bending down to retrieve Vian from the Vibranium crib. 

“20-40 beats per. The normal range for infants.” Griot answers. 

Even though you weren’t a doctor, you knew enough to understand the message; Vitusia was okay. “Please inform me immediately of any desaturation or if her rates decrease or increase outside the normal range.”

“Of course, Panther.”

Shuri turns to face you, holding a half-awakened Vian in her toned arms. Her clothing is securely clasped in her tiny fingers. It's adorable. Your wife assures you, "She's perfectly all right," You sigh in response. You were doing it again. Carefully picking up the young Princess, you say, "I'm sorry."

“You’re trying to give Mommy a heart attack first thing in the morning. Aren’t you?” You tease, using your customary high-pitched voice when speaking to the twins. Vatusia is wide awake now, chuckling as you press lips into her neck.

While taking in the scene before her, Shuri finds herself unable to suppress the grin that has formed on her face. "Please do not apologize. Never regret your concern for the well-being of your angels, sweetheart." How did you get so blessed to have someone in your life who is so supportive and understanding? "Come on, you have a big day today," Shuri said quietly, kissing your lips.

Understanding how busy today would be for you and Shuri, the new nanny collected the twins after breakfast. You had to put your thoughts back into work gear once the babies were out of sight. You had a few virtual sessions with the North American Chief Brand & Communications Officer and the Executive Committees.

Your job was Esmé's Head of Interior Design, but you'd recommended to your father that some of the most popular hotels and resorts include an on-site kids club and babysitters. The new granddad was overjoyed at the prospect. You expected to be needed as Esmé's Head of Interior Design throughout the construction stage, but your father urged you to take the initiative on the project. It took some persuasion from your wife and Dr. Faraji because it meant spending less time with Vatusia and Vian after sitting down and carefully adjusting your schedule. A great team supported you and handled everything well during pregnancy and maternity leave. Unless it was for critical choices or meetings, you felt comfortable relying on them.

The first task you'd assigned to the global Esmé teams was to collect statistical data to determine which resorts had the highest number of guest check-ins with children. You held a few meetings and came to the conclusion that you and your team would analyze the data before picking which hotels to upgrade first. Establishing on-site kid's clubs or hiring babysitters can provide parents with much-needed respite any time of day or night. Activities for children of various ages are planned at these supervised daycares. While you walked down the corridor to the playroom to check on Vatusia and Vian, you were filled with excitement about all the possibilities. Your wife appears almost unexpectedly. "Where are you going?" Shuri interjected.

"To see how the babies are."

"I went to the playroom, and they're great."

She didn't even wait for you to answer, instead using her enhanced strength to lift you with minimal effort. She's hauling you back in the direction of your bedroom over her shoulders. Shuri, perhaps due to your long marriage, intuitively understands the needs of her wife's body. There were moments when you needed it delicately and slowly as she showered you with compliments. Sometimes, like now, she'll change things by fucking you so hard that you can't even think straight. Hitting it from behind, you like you were a side chick.

It didn't matter how the monarch dealt with you. Sex with Shuri was always blissful; you were grateful to have it for the rest of your life. Call it cliché, but sex is a great stress relief for your hectic lifestyle. The rapid motions and powerful sexual satisfaction lead to an altered state of consciousness in which you can cognitively filter out all other inputs and concentrate your full attention on the sensations and emotional connection with each other.

“Keep your ass up for me,” your wife instructs, and you do as she says. "You want it so bad, huh?" Shuri teases, moving the tip back and forth across your entrance. You nodded, yes, yes, yes, because you needed it at this point—heat growing in the pit of your abdomen, yearning to be eased. Shuri smugly chuckles at your distress.

As she slips back in, keep your ass up in the air. Shuri pushes deep, her fingers digging into the flesh of your backside, and your breath hitches in your throat. Shuri leans back, seeing the length vanish inside your pussy. “Shit, baby,” she groans, and you sigh in relief at a stretch.

Shuri is standing upright while you are kneeling at the edge of the bed, legs spread apart, back arched artfully. The sheets' plush texture brushed across your sensitive nipples, and tits pressed into the mattress.

Covers shifted, eyes rolled in the back of your head;  Shuri began with a combination of slow, hard trust. As though you were floating, your head was light, and every caress was exhilarating. Your spine was tingling with chills. It's a fantastic sensation as Shuri drives into you, clearing away all thoughts and emotions that don't serve your satisfaction.

You rest your head on your arms, refusing to press your face against the covers and conceal the moans that fall from your parted lips. Let the woman behind you know how good she was giving it to you. "You sound incredible. I love how you beg for me."

Your tone is low and somewhat distorted as you're overcome with ecstasy. You gasp, "You feel so fucking amazing, fuck me so well." The words have the desired impact on Shuri, who accelerates her hips and works harder to extract more exquisite noises from your lovely honey voice.

"You deserve it," Shuri adds, unable to contain her admiration for you.

The vibrations of Shuri's hips hitting your ass, the hard impact of skin-on-skin contact, and sticky squelches filled the room with each slam. “Pl…please. So close. Baby, keep going," you whimper, your core throbbing with white-hot pleasure.

Shuri, who is no longer interested in slowing down, takes complete authority, pounding into you with such intensity that your body shakes. You arch into the contact, crying out loud, grateful for the sound protection, even though anyone with common sense could tell what was going on when the two of you vanished. Shuri fucks you with enthusiasm, pushing you up the bed before she needs to grasp you and hold you in place.

When Shuri speeds up the pace, your mind is in paradise. Praising you for how well you take it. You can bet Shuri was thrilled to see how your ass jiggled when her hips touched it. One of her hands slides over your ass and kneads the smooth flesh, guiding you back against her. "Damn," she breathes. Her tone was hypnotic.

The hand freezes when you let out a long, loud scream deep inside your gut. “R-right there,” you manage to stutter out. Now, you press your face into the fabric and scream Shuri’s name. As soon as you alerted her, she was positioned to strike the nerve deep within you precisely. Shuri shifted slightly and then pounded extra vigorously.

The deeper the penetration, the more your muscles relax. Shuri understood exactly how to curve her strokes to leave you gasping, panting, and sweaty beneath her. Shuri knew you were about to orgasm because she had the profound awareness that only comes from long-term relationships, from lovers who are very attuned to each other's rhythms. Becoming conscious of your breathing patterns, response levels, small motions, and reflexes.

Shuri leans over, sweaty skin sticking together, whispering in your ear, "Cum for me, pretty girl. Let me feel it," her voice is alluring, and all you can do is obey her. Shuri's quick speed never slows, and she brings a hand to your clit to intensify your pleasure. "Don't stop, baby. I'm going to cum for you," you warn, pushing back on her. Knowing the sight was enough to drive her wild.

The rhythmic pressure provides a unified experience of ecstasy throughout your body. Your walls spasmed, tingles pricked your spine, and your toes curled. Your body shakes as a wave of convulsive feelings washes over you.

"Oh my goodness, fuck baby, yes," you babble. Your orgasm hits you, causing your entire body to tense up. Your lips form Shuri's name as you cum around the strap, sending a jolt of pleasure all the way down your pussy. "Yes, take all you need, my love," Shuri exclaims as her hard thrust extends your orgasm.

She won't stop until the room is filled with your cries and the slick sound of her stroking the cum back into you.

It's pure ecstasy.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Updates and Announcements please read carefully

There haven't been as many polls as normal because I basically have started uni this week was orientation. I officially start classes next week so I'm not going to have as much time to make polls.

When it comes to me making a new series where I post any future stupid essays I get asking me to ban characters. I will be doing that but there will be some rules when it comes to what I actually share publicly. It will only be an anonymous ask because I don't want people to actually bully them on their blog. I'm not going to share anything that's actually harassing because people were concerned about spreading their hateful message, I know the difference between malice and stupidity. I mainly want to focus on and share the essays that I can tell were written by someone with zero media literacy an over inflated ego and some sort of savior complex or sense of moral superiority those are the people that need those flimsy arguments to face scrutiny of Tumblr. And trust me the anonymous ask may be turned off right now So I can have a little bit of peace because I was dealing with getting ready for uni but since we all made fun of them they're waiting for the second. They turn back on to defend themselves. So I know I will receive some more stupid essays very soon. Stay tuned because I've had a couple of suggestions for a title for this series so I'm going to let everyone vote on it so keep an eye out for that poll.

The Pride Month Event. I will be opening up the request box only for The pride month 6-way poll characters probably the last week in May maybe sooner. This is where you can actually suggest full rosters of six-way polls, but they need to have the theme of lgbtq+ characters. This is because I am not familiar with enough anime to know of enough Canon lgbtq+ characters to fill out the entire month. This is a special event. Don't get used to being able to do this. The only special request would be. Please tell me what part of the lgbtq+ community they are a part of so I know what poll to put them in so I can't accidentally mess it up and put them in the wrong poll. That is also why I highly recommend full Six-Person rosters for whatever lgbtq+ category you want to recommend.

Now I will add to this. I will be doing both Canon or coded characters? Because I know for the longest they wouldn't explicitly say they were LGBTQ+. There will also be a fannon categories to this. I will put a preference to Canon and coded characters by making those polls first. If I don't have enough of those polls to fill out 30 days worth of polls. That's when I will start doing the fannon recommendations. Ships are allowed because I've done Duo and trio polls but be aware those are sometimes very hard to find photos. Especially because I still will not accept fan art, but I've also learned how to use Photoshop recently so I can Photoshop two official photos together if I have to because I've already done it for a few of the duo polls already if you haven't already been able to tell.

If there are any questions, especially regarding the pride month event the ask box is open.

[xbomboi]

YOU 🤝 ME

SCREENWRITING

Could you possibly elaborate more on your EQ movies?? I'm really interested in this Cove Sunset... 👀

oh yeah actually i would love to talk more about that! so basically i wrote two movies intended to be the penultimate and the final installment in the Equestria Girls series since that’s definitely never going to get an official ending. i wanted to tie up loose ends…

i made a poster for the second one of the two that i made a few years back right here. but anyway…

the first of the two is called “Royal Nightmare.” the premise is as follows: it’s now spring of the girls’ senior year, and rarity has made the decision to run for queen of the spring fling after being robbed by sunset she tried to run for princess years ago. but when rarity gets possessed by dark magic, sunset has to confront her repressed baggage from the past if she wants to save her friend before it’s too late.

basically, this one deals a lot with sunset’s past with rarity. the film has a mix of the events taking place in the present day as well as flashbacks to the past, being the girls’ freshman year. it covers stuff like sunset arriving for the first time, her meeting flash, how she rose to power, and what she did to rarity (i changed it up just a tad because the junior novelization is a Weird book). it also has a lot of focus on rarijack as well.

the other one, intended as a finale movie, is titled “Forever Friendship.” after finally graduating from canterlot high, the girls are about to move onto the next stages in each of their lives. however, sunset still has unfinished business in regards to herself. together, the girls set out on one last adventure to uncover the truth behind sunset’s family and the sunset from their world. but could this be end?

this one is basically, like, giving sunset closure. in it i explore sunset’s origin and the truth about the Other sunset shimmer. it has an entire conflict that revolves around a discussion of the moral dilemma that comes with having magic in the human world. at heart it’s about sunset finding her purpose once and for all. i can’t say much else without spoiling it.

royal nightmare is complete in THEORY but needs a lot of, like, extra fleshing out and possibly the addition of a few more scenes. also, forever friendship is now missing a song or two because i removed one scene entirely and instead repurposed the song for royal nightmare. also ALSO, they’re a bit old now and i approached them differently than i did when writing for ever after high. i wasn’t totally thinking about completely matching the tone and more about cinematics. it’s not that i bumped the ratings up, but i let dialogue be lengthy and… idk, nuanced? i guess? more so in forever friendship than royal nightmare, at least. and there’s probably an occasional typo in them both.

i would share them, but the thing that makes me hesitant is the fact that for the songs, i made an unlisted youtube playlist of myself singing them each just for people who read them to have reference when the scenes pop up. it wasn’t so embarrassing when it was just being shared between myself and my friends, but the audio is kinda bad and there’s no music it’s just me singing. i didn’t even have the same range as i wanted for some of the songs or the characters so i sound wonky in it. and i can’t redo it now because i’m older and my voice has dropped so that’s a no-go.

idk, maybe i could give in with enough convincing.

[bridgerton-bard]

Bridgerton Season 3 Rambles

Warning: Spoilers for Romancing Mister Bridgerton and Season 3 of Bridgerton on Netflix

Just a compilation of thoughts that I have had about Netflix's adaptation of Romancing Mister Bridgerton for Season 3.

The combination of writing and/or editing was definitely different, and not necessarily in a way that I enjoyed. I am not a cinematographer, so I can't necessarily say why, but this season definitely felt like a much faster pace than S1 & S2. This is especially true for part 1. Prior seasons felt like they were meant to be watched casually and understood easily on the first watch. This season was so dense that I ended up re-watching part 1 again just to make sure that I didn't miss anything. Part 2 did feel like a slightly more reasonable pace, but still faster and more chaotic than any other Bridgerton season. Given that Netflix controls exactly how many episodes and how long they are, I wish they had decided to do 10 episodes so that the story could be slowed down to a more enjoyable pace and less context for each storyline had to be cut for time.

I liked all of the side stories. There are no characters in this show that I don't want to watch. Knowing the backstory from Queen Charlotte, it was so great to see Violet with Marcus (her garden is most certainly in bloom 🌸) and to see Lady Danbury get some closure from the past. It was also great to see more of the continuation of Lady Danbury and Queen Charlotte's friendship. Watching the Featherington women reconcile with each other was probably my favorite of the side plots. I enjoyed the Mondrich storyline. (🎉 Welcome to the ton, officially, Mondrich family! 🎉) I was a little skeptical about how the Benedict/Lady Tilly storyline was going to prep him for S4 (🤞) at the end of part 1, but fully onboard after part 2! I just wish we had more time to see the romance between Colin and Pen build before and after their wedding.

Side note: Do we think that Netflix/Shondaland had always planned for Benedict to be bi/polyamorous, or do we think that choice was made after they were heavily accused of queerbaiting in their characterization of Benedict?

Colin's realization of love seemed rushed even in RMB, but it seemed out of place as it happened in the series. There needed to be more development. Maybe we were meant to see his feelings growing through Colin's conversations with Eloise about Penelope and Cressida, but due to his characterization as "good guy Colin", it mostly just seemed like an older brother who wanted his two friends to reconcile? There was something missing. If the show had gone in book order and Kanthony/Benophie had been around, Colin maybe could have realized his love based on witnessing how those couples interacted?

In my opinion, all of the time in part 1 spent on the Queen coming up with a new name for a diamond ("sparkler") and then agonizing about naming one could have been put to better use. I know that the show doesn't want to bore watchers by automatically having the female Bridgerton lead of the season being named the diamond on repeat, but it's functionally the same and 10ish minutes of screentime that could have been better served elsewhere. Especially with the Queen playing such a big role in the potential match between Francesca and Lord Samadani as well as the reveal of Whistledown, I could do without the agonizing over the special title the female lead will get.

I really missed Lady Danbury playing the role of encouraging Penelope to be herself the way she did in the books. I know Lord Debling might have taken on some of that role in the Netflix series, but there's a different dynamic when Penelope realizes her worth based on a suitor compared to the objective perspective of a smart woman in the ton. To me, Netflix Pen felt like she gained some confidence simply based on that Debling was interested and not that she actually realized she was desirable. Whereas in the books, Lady Danbury encourages Pen to be more confident and show more of her personality because it makes her more authentic and fun to be around.

Speaking of Lord Debling, we were promised during the press tour that Debling wasn't going to be used as a plot device to make Colin propose, and that Colin would express his feelings to Penelope without that sword hanging over his head. But what we got was Violet mentioning to Colin that Lord Debling was planning to propose to Penelope which prompted Colin to rudely interrupt them and cause Debling to rescind his proposal????? I really did enjoy that book!Colin loved Penelope for being Penelope and proposed to her even though he knew that nobody else would and it would lower his social standing to marry the unpopular spinster girl who read romance novels.

In general, past seasons have felt like even where Netflix/Shondaland changed plot points in the books, the changes were still correct in the characterization. While the above might be correct to Colin's characterization it's a significant downgrade from the story that was already written. Why did that need to be changed?

Speaking of characterizations, I really enjoyed the characterizations for Francesca and John. They're such different characters to the other leads on the show and I really appreciated that both seemed to be characterized as neurodivergent in some way. It's nice to see the show acknowledging that gay people, neurodivergent people, etc. still existed in regency times even if the public awareness/conception of them was different.

I wish we had seen more of Colin and Pen repairing their relationship after Colin learned that Pen was LW. I know they were trying to build the drama, but the whole time it felt like Colin was two seconds from applying for an annulment, which was not even mentioned in RMB. Again, it just felt like too much was implied and not shown here, or that the show's characterizations were off from the books.

I enjoyed the peek into Cressida Cowper's world that we got this season. She's no longer just an antagonist cardboard cutout that's moved around the ballroom to create conflict. It's nice to understand her motivations. I really appreciated her storyline this season and I'd love to see a spinoff about her life in Wales and her eventually making her way to the continent or back into the ton. The scene where her mother threw her under the bus as she was counseling her that it was every woman for herself in the ton was beautifully sad. I think it was only in that moment that Cressida realized the only way for a young woman to do well for herself in the ton is to befriend and rely on her peers. I appreciated the aspect of tragedy that Cressida only realized her bad moves when it was far too late to go back and correct them.

Another issue with the writing: some of the modern language was slightly jarring. I know Bridgerton flirts with the modern/regency dichotomy because there are multiple parts of the show that aren't period-accurate. That being said, you're really on the cusp when a character in a regency period drama says "Don't come for my cane". I'm not saying I want it to be 100% period accurate with bonnets, etc. However, I think maintaining the use of Regency slang and slightly modernized regency phrases/syntax is part of what helps make it feel "regency" even though the fashion, music, and social norms about race and sexuality are not accurate to the regency period. The same can be said for obviously acrylic nails. Not everything needs to be period accurate, but some things are definitely a step too far. Big disparities like this are distracting and remove people from the story.

I know people have a lot of feelings about Michaela Stirling, however, I want to let Netflix/Shondaland cook. We don't know yet whether Francesca is also going to be bi or whether she's going to be a late-to-life lesbian. We truly have no idea. I have liked how they've handled Francesca/John so far, so I'm just going to wait to see how this plays out.

I think that's all for now. I'd love to hear anything you'd like to add, as I could yap about Bridgerton for hours.

Varley . . . release the BUGS!

[somewhatsentientspellbook]

With the announcement of S3 coming later this year, I thought I'd just put into the universe my predictions for how TLOVM S3 will work. I've already covered some of this before (see here for how A Bard's Lament has the same number of letters as there are episodes in a season), but now I'm in the mood to go into more detail.

My first thoughts were of what needed to fit into this season, namely, defeating the rest of the Conclave, vestige hunting, and individual character arcs. That's a LOT, but I think I've figured out how it COULD work.

Episodes 1-3 (Marquet / Glintshore)

Raishan has just revealed herself and needs to quickly gain VM's trust. She'll tell them Ripley was helping Umbrasyl with his vestige hunt and that she's gone to Marquet to track more down. This might be a good time for Percy and Keyleth to get some character development since Percy will be interested in taking Ripley out of the picture, and Keyleth will want to embrace R A G E for Raishan's involvement with Thordak destroying Pyrah.

Once they get to Marquet, Scanlan has the opportunity to reunite with Kaylie (since she and the troupe mentioned going there after Westrunn) and kick his character arc into overdrive. Scanlan will make his promise to Kaylie that he'll survive the crisis, and we'll probably get some J'mon Sa Ord and the Sandkehgs Hide scene.

Glintshore, the Anna Ripley fight, and Percy's death will happen in E3. This is simply because episode three has been chock full of depressing character moments for both S1 and S2 - so why shouldn't it also be the case for S3? It will also serve as a catalyst for Vex and Percy's official romance and potentially spook Keyleth and Vax into theirs as well. Scanlan will probably have a moment too, as he realises just how dangerous this quest will be. By the end of this batch, we'll have two (?) more vestiges with Whisper and Cabal's Ruin added to the roster.

Episodes 4-6 (Vorugal / Yenk / The Mansion)

The party will probably make a quick pit-stop in Whitestone where they'll find out the Conclave has expanded its efforts beyond Tal'Dorei, as Vorugal has demolished Draconia in Wildemount. Raishan will convince VM to go to Draconia with her to dispatch Vorugal. We might get more Exandrian lore to set up Wildemount for the M9 series as VM preps for the battle.

Scanlan received a key in the S2 finale that will likely come into play in E5 as either the key to his Magnificent Mansion or the Gate spell (both are iconic parts of the Vorugal plan). I'm leaning more towards the key belonging to the Mansion since they can rewrite the story to have Raishan cast Gate as a nod to how she freed Thordak. They'll summon Yenk so they can not only kill another dragon but also retrieve Keyleth's vestige. We'll get a really badass fight scene and character moments for a number of characters.

Considering how jam-packed the season will have been at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if E6 ends up being a cool-down 'filler' episode with character moments like Kima getting the Holy Avenger, the canon ball contest, and Percy and Vex's kiss in the woods.

Episodes 7-9 (Fire Plane / Earth Ashari (?) / Retaking Emon)

On the hunt for more vestiges, VM will probably head to the Fire Plane to recover the Plate of the Dawnmartyr with a cameo from Senokir. Still, aside from that, I don't know what the episode would consist of.

I also think this batch of episodes is a perfect place to slot in Keyleth's Earth Ashari trial, since it took place pre-stream and TLOVM seems to be hinting that Pyrah was her first trial. It would be really interesting to see how Keyleth's vision of her own death will be adapted considering how far into the Chroma Conclave arc it takes place. The trial would also give VM a chance to gather more forces for the coming battle.

Now, if the episode titles actually ended up spelling A BARD'S LAMENT, I would have absolutely named S3E9 'March to Emon'. This is where we get an Avengers Endgame-type moment of unity where all of VM's allies and the armies gather to take Emon back from Thordak. I'm thinking of appearances from Syngorn, the Ashari, Whitestone, maybe even J'mon Sa Ord sending some support their way.

Episodes 10-12 (Thordak / Raishan / Scanlan & Taryon (?))

We're in the final batch of episodes, and I feel like these are the simplest to lay out. It'll be boss battle after boss battle; the only question is how long each battle will take. Thordak will likely be kept to just E10, so that the show has ample time to handle the Raishan fight (since I tend to think of Raishan as the penultimate enemy from the Conclave).

Thordak dies, and in E11, the party battles Raishan in a brutal fight that does NOT kill Percy in the adaptation. I think him dying again would cheapen his death earlier in the season and take away from Scanlan's death in the same encounter. I really hope we get Travis breaking our hearts with "FIX HIM!" too. Now, I'd say the episode ends with VM taking Scanlan's body back to Whitestone.

In the season finale, Kaylie comes to Whitestone, and the party resurrects Scanlan. I think it'd be a unique change to the story (but not necessarily an unwelcome one) if VM was willing to just bury Scanlan, but Kaylie was the one who convinced them to try and bring him back. We get the absolutely gut-wrenching speech and his departure. The thing I'm wondering is whether TLOVM will simply end with Scanlan leaving and save Taryon's debut to S4, or if they'll introduce him in the final scene and leave us on a cliffhanger. My assumption is that the latter is the case since it's a very them thing to do.

With all that being said, I hope what I've written makes sense. It's been in my drafts for a good 6 months while I tried to piece together my theories, and I haven't exactly proofread it. Obviously, any number of things could end up being different, but this is just my take. I'd love to hear people's thoughts and theories that they've come up with themselves too!

[forjongseong]

al caer la noche // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (Part 9 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; profanity; making out; unprotected sex; creampie; mentions of somnophilia; another 'ex' appears; handjob; 69 (you read that right) // wc: ~10.1k

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 -la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night part 8 - ambulancia minisode part 5 - subtítulos

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: as the days goes by, your relationship with Jay becomes even more domestic, and it's only about time until you both make it official.

author’s notes: welcome to PART NINE! we've come so far, haven't we?

after feeling off for about a week, I finally managed to finish this. I said I wanted it out before December, but it's only December 3rd now so I guess I am not that far behind.

Recently one of my closest moots, @end-hyphen, just had her birthday! So I am dedicating this part to her since she is the official ambassador of this series HAHA

as for the title of this part, it means "by nightfall" and it is taken from one of maye's song, which also happens to be my favorite.

I hope you'll enjoy reading this part too!

taglist: @jaylaxies @thots4hee @nyanggk @end-hyphen @jayked @yoursjaeyun @maggstar

(send an ask if you want to be added)

You stirred in bed and changed your position to face the right side of it. When you felt that the bed was empty, you slowly opened your eyes and let yourself adjust to the brightness of the room. Judging from the sunrays, it was probably close to 9 in the morning. It usually takes you a while to gather your consciousness whenever you wake up, and for a second you thought you were still dreaming when you heard the faint sound of music from outside.

Recognizing that the tune playing was Frankie Valli’s Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, you walked out the bedroom door slowly and found Jay mopping the floor, using the mop handle like a microphone stand.

“Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare.”

You leaned on the doorway and crossed your arms in front of your chest, amused at the sight.

“The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak.”

You chuckled when you saw Jay clutching his chest like he was in immense pain, still unaware that you were watching him.

“But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it’s real…”

Jay started mopping again as he continued to sing, beginning to reach places on the floor that he had missed before. You were sure he was going to catch you looking in a moment.

“You’re just too good to be true,” Jay sang and his eyes finally land on you. “Can’t take my eyes off you.”

You were actually amazed that he was not surprised to find you awake, since he really was the jumpy type, but when he ditched the mop to pull you into him all you could do was laugh. He spun you around to the music and continued to sing, this time right to your face.

“I love you, baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you, baby.”

The way he moved you around with ease and sang to you with theatrical expressions made you unable to shake off the huge grin on your face. He led you through your moves with utmost grace and only stopped when the song reached the end of the chorus.

“Let me love you,” he sang, dipping you and kissing your collarbones. “Good morning, my queen.”

When he pulled you back up, you smashed your lips into his to thank him for the lovely serenade. He even stepped back from how sudden you jumped into him, but then he placed his arms around your waist firmly as he let you kiss him with passion.

“I feel like I should be rewarding you for cleaning up,” you breathed into his mouth as your hands clenched his t-shirt.

“That’s bullshit. I live here too so it’s only my responsibility,” Jay responded, rubbing your back gently. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I really need to finish mopping.”

You giggled when he attacked your cheeks with kisses, and when he let go of you, you headed straight to the kitchen. Last night, you entertained Jake, Heeseung, and Sunghoon to a lovely dinner, since game night was now officially held at your place. Whenever they came over, Jay was always in charge of cooking, while you were always responsible for cleaning. However, the boys stayed longer than usual last night, and because you were having so much fun with them, you decided to push back cleaning to the next morning.

Staring at the spotless counters and empty sink, you blinked before checking the drawers and cabinets for the clean utensils. You looked back at Jay, who coincidentally was also looking at you, and he smiled and gave you a wink.

“Jay,” you whined, closing the drawers and crossing your arms again. “I already said I would clean this morning.”

“And I’m happy to take care of it,” Jay answered, not looking back at you. He was done mopping and was now about to put back all the stuff to their right places. “Don’t worry about it.”

The gears in your head began turning, figuring out the best way to show Jay your gratitude, and the ideas that popped up in your head ranged from buying him a gift to, well, giving him head. You then concluded you would do everything, but not all at once.

---

The sun was setting and the lighting made your office turn into an orange hue. You checked the time on your phone, wondering why it was taking so long for Jay to return to the office. There were no missed calls or text messages either, so you decided to just call him, thinking that he’d get back to you in an instant if he was unable to pick it up.

“Hey,” Jay’s voice echoed throughout the room as you put him on loudspeaker. “I really was about to call you.”

“Is the meeting over?” You asked, eyes scanning your monitor. You then heard a little bit of rustling and faint sounds of people. “Where are you?”

“I just arrived at the supermarket. It’s on my way back and I figured there were a couple of things that need restocking.”

He’s really a malewife at this point, you thought.

“Okay, so does that mean you’re not coming back?” You typed for a while before clicking save on a document. “I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah.” You could hear Jay fumbling with the phone. “Hey, can you turn on the camera real quick?”

You picked up your phone and did as he said. You were then greeted with the aisle filled with sanitary products. Frowning, you waited for Jay to give you context.

“I checked last night and I think you’re running out of pads, but I forgot which one you use,” Jay explained, stepping closer to the shelf of pads. “Is it this one?” He asked, pointing to a pink packaging.

You were so touched that all you could do was smile and cover your mouth.

“Baby? I think someone is looking at me weird,” Jay said, voice sounding worried. “Nothing to see here, Ma’am, I’m just picking up stuff for my girlfriend.”

You realized Jay was explaining himself to a lady passing by, and you just laughed silently. “It’s the one to your right, babe.”

“Oh, right,” Jay responded. “You use the one with wings, huh. Why are they so fucking expensive?”

“Because being a woman is fucking expensive, love,” you chuckled as you replied to him. “Now get out of there before someone thinks you’re a pervert.”

“See you soon, Boss,” Jay ended the call with a smooching sound to the phone.

You decided to call it a day and started tidying up your things. You placed your empty glass on the minibar since the janitor would always start cleaning from there, and as you gathered all your belongings into your bag, you heard two knocks on the door.

“Yes, Hwiyoung.”

Hwiyoung peeked into your office while holding up his phone. “Park told me to get your car ready. Are you done for the day?”

The way you did not even tell Jay that you were done with work, and that he just assumed, but did it correctly, made you feel butterflies. It was not the first time he did it either.

“Yes, I am,” you smiled at your second assistant as you held up your bag. “You can tell the others to get off work too if they’re all done for the day. I don’t want anyone staying late.”

“Alright, Miss. Does that mean I can make plans?” Hwiyoung asked you while he texted the group chat.

“Of course you can.” You walked to the door and waited until Hwiyoung was done texting. “Plans with a girlfriend?”

“Huh?” Hwiyoung blinked at you, obviously caught off-guard by your question.

You laughed at his reaction and gave him a pat on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Hwi. If you’re dating someone, let me know. I need to make sure she’s not taking advantage of my assistant.”

Hwiyoung blushed at your comment and excused himself to go back to his desk. You said goodbye to him as you walked out of the office, smiling because you had never seen Hwiyoung so flustered before.

---

It was still early into the night, but you were already in your bed scrolling through your phone with the lights off. Jay told you he was going to hit the gym for a couple hours before heading home, so you had dinner without him and went on to shower and do your skincare routine. After a good twenty minutes of just laughing at TikTok videos, you began to feel sleepy, so you texted Jay that you were going to bed. His reply came to you late, as he only checked his phone once he was done, and by the time he arrived home, you were fast asleep.

The sound of him walking back and forth and even showering in the bathroom did not wake you up at all, and sometimes Jay was amazed at how you were actually a heavy sleeper. After washing up, Jay carefully climbed onto your shared bed and wrapped his arms around you, spooning you from behind. The coldness of his skin actually made you wake up, and you flinched a little when his skin made contact on yours.

“Sorry, baby,” Jay spoke softly into your ear before he leaned in to kiss your bare shoulder. “Did I wake you up?”

“You feel cold,” you commented, voice croaky from the sleep. You then turned around to face him. “Did you take a cold shower?”

Jay nodded. “Sorry for not spending the night with you.”

“It’s okay,” you yawned, hiding your face in Jay’s neck as he chuckled and stroked your back. “Are you not cold?”

“I’m not because I have you.” Jay rubbed your sides and kissed your forehead. “You’re always so warm.”

You hummed as you brought one hand up to caress Jay’s face. “I got the right temperature to shelter you from the cold.”

Jay chuckled at your statement and began kissing your face. You let him, not bothering to reciprocate because you knew that he knew you were too tired and only half awake. He kissed along your jawline, your neck, and stopped to suck your skin there once he heard you moan. Your grip on his shirt tightened as he moved down to your collarbone. He then grazed his lips over the top of your chest, tugging down the dainty camisole you had on to expose one of your breasts. When he latched on to your nipple, your fingers got lost in his hair, and you whined as he began sucking.

“Jay,” you whispered, “I don’t think I have the energy to do anything.”

He merely groaned at you as a response, too focused on giving your breasts the same amount of pleasure. You felt his teeth graze your skin and you hissed, pulling his hair back so he would look up at you.

“If you want to fuck, you’re gonna have to do all the work,” you said, your eyelids heavy as you struggled to speak. You could already feel your arousal dripping, so you figured he might as well proceed.

Jay moved back up to level with your face, and he touched your chin with his fingers as he kissed your lips. You sighed into him, and you were already feeling cold from the loss of contact from his hands on your body.

“Turn around,” he whispered.

You did as he said, and he quickly pulled you into his embrace again, with one arm under you and his hand cupping your breast, while his other hand pulled down your panties to your knees. You whimpered when you felt his cold fingers palming your core, and when he drew a stripe along your folds, you shivered.

“God, baby,” Jay grunted as he pulled down his boxers. “So wet.”

You placed your hand above his, guiding him to squeeze your breasts while he rubbed his shaft along your folds. He coated himself with your wetness until he felt it was time to align himself with you. You felt his tip grazing your entrance and you arched your back, pushing your ass towards his hip. He held you firmly by your waist as he entered you, bottoming out in one go, and all you could let out was a shaky breath.

“Fuck,” Jay said as he began thrusting in and out of you. “You’re so fucking warm. So fucking tight.”

You moaned in pleasure at the friction he was causing, and you guided his hand to make him rub your clit.

“Do you want me to go slow, baby?” He asked, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

You tilted your head so you could reach his lips and kissed him. “Any way you want,” you answered with a whisper.

Jay began gradually increasing his speed, sliding his dick in and out of you with ease from how much you were dripping for him. His thumb pressing on your clit made you feel like you were reaching your high even sooner, so you did not bother concealing the almost pornographic moans that you let out for him.

“Not too loud, my queen.” Jay kissed your neck and gently sucked on your skin. “I don’t want anyone else hearing your beautiful moans.”

Your hand traveled backwards, cupping his ass and pushing him closer to you, desperate to feel more of him. He chuckled and continued to rock his hips into you, and when he felt your grasp around his wrist tightening, he knew that you were close.

“Cum with me?” He asked, almost like a proposal. You nodded, and with a couple more strokes you arched your back as he released his cum inside of you, with you reaching your high just seconds after. Your walls clenched and milked him dry, and you began to feel the sting on your shoulder from how hard he was biting you there.

Jay’s arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him as he did not show any signs of wanting to pull out of you soon. You stroked his arm lovingly, even bringing up one of his hand up to your lips so you can kiss it.

He chuckled, kissing the back of your head as a response. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my prince,” you sighed. There was a brief moment of silence before you spoke again. “If you feel like you need me and I’m asleep, you can fuck me if you want. I mean I don’t have to be awake for it, right?”

You could feel Jay freeze when you uttered the last question. “Baby?” You called, tapping on his arm.

“You mean like… somnophilia?” Jay asked. When you nodded, Jay carefully slipped out of you and made you face his way. He pulled his boxers back up and you also put your panties back on during the process. “You can’t be serious.”

“You have my consent,” you stared into his eyes and intertwined your fingers with his. “I don’t mind.”

“Does that mean you would do the same thing to me too?” He asked, genuinely curious. The shift in the subject made you giggle.

“Do you want me to?” You asked back. “Like, if it gets too hard to wake you up, do you want me to try sucking you off while you’re still asleep?”

Jay closed his eyes and bit his lips, almost as if he was imagining it happening. “Please don’t judge me, but that actually sounds hot.”

You chuckled weakly, and it made Jay laugh with you too. He placed his hand behind your neck and pulled you into a kiss.

“Then you have my consent too,” he murmured into your lips. You mouthed a ‘good’, and the next thing you remember was the two of you drifting off to sleep.

---

It was the last week of November, and it had been a routine for you to visit Jay’s parents every last week of the month. Before you and Jay drive to his parents’ house on Saturday mornings, you would always grocery shop with him on Friday evenings. For this very reason, you cut your working day short and sent your employees home early as well.

The moment you entered the supermarket, though, you suddenly felt lethargic. You tailed Jay as he grabbed a cart and started walking towards the poultry section, and before he could grab anything, you tugged his sleeves.

“I’m actually really sleepy right now, I think I need coffee,” you said, voice already sounding weak. “Can I just wait at Starbucks?”

“Of course.” Jay let go of the cart to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Are you okay?”

You nodded for reassurance and gave him a smile. He then kissed your forehead before you turned around and walked towards the Starbucks that was strategically located next door. You checked the app on your phone and noticed they had a new menu, and you had a buy one get one free coupon. You decided to try out both the new drinks, figuring that Jay would want one once he was done shopping.

There was a line before you and when you sat down to wait for your order, it took a while for the barista to make your drinks. Once they called out your name, you quickly went to grab your drinks and waddled back to your table, setting the two cups in front of you. One was a gingerbread latte and the other was a red velvet oatmilk latte. You stared at them both, not realizing that Jay was already steps away from you.

“Well that was quick,” you commented, gesturing for Jay to take the seat in front of you.

“I already had a list,” Jay said, showing his phone and the shopping list that all had checkmarks on them. “What did you get?”

“New drinks. I wanted to try both but I don’t know which one I actually want,” you eyed the drinks and Jay smiled at you, noticing how you were already able to get rid of the fatigue even though you had not consumed any caffeine yet. “I’m gonna sip both.”

Jay watched calmly as you unwrapped a straw and punched it through the lid of the gingerbread latte. You gave it a swirl before sipping it curiously, and you stared into a distance. Jay was observing your face, waiting for a reaction. When your nose scrunched up, not in pleasure but in confusion, he chuckled softly.

“That’s weird,” you muttered bluntly, not exactly speaking to anyone. “Let me try this one.”

You used the same straw to sip on the red velvet drink, and your face lit up the moment you tasted it. Jay was now touching the gingerbread cup and looking at how pretty the color of the drink was, complete with the whipped cream and red sprinkles on top.

“This one is better,” you said, taking your straw out of the red velvet drink. You then pushed the cup towards Jay and handed him a new straw before putting your own back into the gingerbread latte and vigorously stirring the whipped cream into it.

Jay frowned. “I thought you said it’s better, why are you giving it to me?”

“Because you should give people the stuff that you like,” you answered, remembering that it was a lesson your parents taught you when you were young. “I’ll finish the gingerbread latte.”

“It’s okay, baby, I’ll drink that one.”

“Let me suffer the consequences of my own choice.” You raised a hand to stop Jay from taking your drink away from you. Jay snorted at your comment.

“Okay,” he said, wiping off the smirk on his face as he could not believe how adorable you were acting. “Can I at least try both too?”

You nodded and waited for Jay to sip the red velvet, and then you reluctantly handed over your gingerbread latte to him. He gave the exact same reaction that you made when you took the first sip and you giggled seeing his face.

“That is strong,” Jay commented after clearing his throat. “Alright, thanks for the drink, babe.”

You just smiled and continued to sip your gingerbread latte, chugging it down like there was no tomorrow since you did not want it to go to waste.

---

You and Jay arrived at his parent’s house early in the evening, when it was hours after lunch and was supposedly the best time for a coffee break. As soon as Jay pulled up in the driveway, you let yourself out and started bringing all the belongings towards the house. Jay’s mother opened the door just as you reached the porch and shrieked in surprise, seeing your face covered with the pile of groceries in your hands.

“Oh, dear Y/N, come here,” she said in a rush, taking half of your load off of you. You then grinned and leaned in as she kissed your cheek to greet you. “Thank God you arrived while the sun is still up.”

“Why? What’s the problem?” You asked as you ditched your shoes for the indoor slippers. You followed Jay’s mother to the kitchen once you checked that Jay has got the rest of the stuff from the car.

“Jay’s father, and yours too, soon, needs to go shopping for this Christmas party we’re attending. His suit doesn’t fit him anymore and I need his accessories to match mine.”

You nodded and finally realized where Jay has gotten his fashion sense from. “What’s the plan?”

“We can prepare dinner while the men go out shopping. Fun, right?”

You caught a paprika that almost rolled off the counter and smiled. “I’d love that, Mrs. Park.”

“Oh,” she waved off her hand at you once she was done setting the groceries on the island. “Enough with the formalities. What do you call your mother?”

“Mom?” You answered but asked at the same time.

“Alright, then just call me eomma so you don’t get confused,” Jay’s mother smiled warmly at you and put her hands on her hips. “So what should we start with?”

You were still in the middle of processing the shift in the way you were supposed to address Jay’s parents when Jay walked into the kitchen with his jacket already off and hanging on his arm, twirling the car keys on his finger.

“Appa just said you wanted me to take him shopping?” Jay asked his mother, kissing her on the cheek.

Jay’s mother merely nodded before looking back at you. “And you can call his dad appa too, okay?”

You smiled sheepishly as you nodded, and then you noticed Jay looking at you and then his mom. Jay’s father then appeared, looking all neat and stylish, brushing his hair back with a comb.

“Ready to go, son?”

“Are you going to make her cook? Eomma, she has zero experience.”

You scoffed at Jay’s remark while his mother roared with laughter. You then dragged Jay by his arm and made him walk towards his father to shoo him away, not forgetting to reach out to Jay’s father for a side hug.

“Kart later when you get back, Appa!” You said as you cheerfully waved at him and Jay walking away.

“Oh, it feels nice to be called appa by a daughter,” he said, placing a hand over his chest sentimentally. Jay rolled his eyes and just dragged his father to the front door.

You returned to the kitchen and washed your hand, noticing that Jay’s mother was already unwrapping some of the produce and laying all of them out on the island. You took the apron that she had prepared for you, and as you put it on you decided to stand strategically next to her.

“So, did he ask you yet?”

For some reason you knew what she meant even without her providing any more context. You cleared your throat before answering.

“Technically, yes, but he was kinda out of it,” you observed how Jay’s mother was chopping the paprika, and once you got it she handed over the task to you.

“What does that mean?” She asked, moving on to prepare other ingredients.

“He was drunk when he asked me.”

“Oh, that punk.”

You let out an unladylike cackle as a response towards Jay’s mother’s unfiltered feelings. You continued to cook with her, following every instruction and trying your best to keep up with the pace. In between activities, you also ended up sharing your biggest insecurities as well as your worries, and by the time cooking was done you were almost a crying mess.

“I just don’t want to let anybody down, Eomma,” you said as you choked back a tear.

“Sweetheart.” Jay’s mother turned to face you, wiping her hands on her apron before she put her hand under your chin to tilt your face up. “You’re not letting anybody down as long as you love him. And believe me, he adores you.”

You pouted and let a tear run down your face. Jay’s mother clicked her tongue and quickly wiped your tears away.

“Whatever your decision is,” she continued, “I’m sure he would respect it. And if he doesn’t, you tell me. So I can beat his ass.”

Her comment made you chuckle softly as another tear fell down your face, and because you were overwhelmed you opted to rest yourself in her embrace, hunching over since Jay’s mother was a little shorter than you. She rubbed your back in an effort to comfort you, and you squeaked a little ‘thank you’ in the middle of your sobs.

---

The drive back home was somewhat calm and comforting. Jay made you put on a playlist that he had specifically made for a night drive, which contained songs that were uplifting enough that it would keep the driver awake, but at the same time chill enough to keep the passengers content. You tapped your fingers on your thigh to the beat of the current song playing, and as the car stopped at a red light, Jay intertwined his fingers with yours and pulled your hand to kiss your knuckles.

You did notice that Jay loved showing you how much he cares for you through physical touch. You didn’t mind, and you did let him know that the way you showed him love was different. So on moments like this, where he would initiate contact, you would always smile to yourself, or to him, to acknowledge his form of expression.

This time was slightly different, though. You shifted in your seat and turned to face him, reaching out for a hug. He embraced you without question, also while keeping an eye on the red light.

“All good, babe?” He asked right in your ear as he stroked your hair gently.

You nodded before tilting your head to kiss him on the cheek. “I talked a lot with your mother today.”

The light turned yellow and Jay pulled back, rubbing your arm lovingly before putting his hands back on the steering wheel. “Is it something I should be concerned about?”

“No,” you answered softly. “But I’m loving the monthly meetups we have with them. Promise we’ll never skip it?”

Jay smiled at your words, keeping his eyes on the road. “Promise.”

When you arrived back home, Jay excused himself to go shower first while you checked your kitchen cabinets to decide on a hot beverage for the night. Your TV was already showing Netflix, and it had become almost a tradition for you and Jay to watch one movie before you go to sleep on Saturday nights, that was if you were not staying at his parents’ house, of course.

You decided on chamomile tea, and by the time you brought the two mugs to the coffee table, Jay walked out to the living room with a towel around his neck and a bottle of micellar water and a pack of cotton pads in his hands. You looked up at him in question, as you were seated on the floor, and he calmly put the stuff right next to you on the table before making himself comfortable on the sofa.

“So you can take your makeup off here instead of the bedroom,” he said, not waiting for you to actually question him.

Your heart did a flip at the simple gesture, so you got up on your knees and shuffled towards him, pouting your lips so he could kiss them. He did, and as you turned back around he slapped your ass playfully.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been slapping my ass quite often,” you commented, taking a cotton pad and drenching it with micellar water. “Do you like it that much?”

“Can’t really blame me. You’ve got a cute ass,” Jay shrugged, reaching for the remote.

You snorted as you started removing your makeup. “You can do it more.”

“Really?” Jay froze with the remote in his hands. “You mean like in bed too?”

You found it amusing that he became so intrigued at the idea of spanking you. You chuckled to yourself and quickly finished cleaning your face so you could join Jay on the sofa. You snuggled into him and as you predicted, he put an arm around you before resting his palm on your ass.

“Depending on the mood,” you said, looking up to him and placing your hand on his cheek. “You can spank me.”

“Yes,” Jay cheered, emphasizing the S as he leaned in to kiss you, squeezing your ass and making you chuckle into his mouth. After a short game of tug-of-war with your tongues, you rest your head on Jay’s lap and lied sideways facing the TV, telling him to start the movie that you already picked.

---

“Where is it again?”

You looked at Jay through your vanity mirror as you were clearing the table and rearranging your skincare products. He was putting on a shirt and as he popped his head out from the collar he turned to look at you while brushing his hair back.

“At this café at a mall. I forgot but I’ll text you the address later.” Jay grabbed the jacket that he hung behind the door and spritzed his perfume on it.

“How long do you think you’re going to be there?” You asked again, this time not looking at him as you were focused on putting your perfume collection in order of most used to least used.

Jay looked up at the ceiling to think for a split second before replying. “I’m not sure, babe. Maybe two hours tops? I’m pretty sure I’ll just be talking to my inner circle.”

“Did Heeseung go to the same high school as you?” You turned your Diptyque bottle to make it face the front, and then you turned around to face Jay, bringing your legs up to the ottoman you were sitting on.

Jay shook his head. “I met him in college,” Jay said as he put on his jacket and walked towards you. You looked up at him and he leaned in to give you a peck on your cheek. “I’ll keep you updated. Don’t mute your phone.”

He knew that your phone was almost always on mute, and it made you miss a couple of texts from him before. You chuckled and just nodded at him. “Have fun at the reunion,” you said, pulling him in for a hug and resting your cheek on his stomach.

Jay smiled and stroked your hair for a while before pulling away, not forgetting to blow you a kiss once he left the bedroom. You sighed and decided to walk over to your desk outside to do some work in advance before Monday comes.

You played your most upbeat playlist and ended up lip syncing and just swaying to all the songs most of the time, only managing to do a tiny bit of work. The whole time you were also texting Isa and Yoon in your group chat since they happened to be online at the same time. You then realized you had an unread text from Jay, and it was the location of his high school reunion.

It had been almost three hours since he left, and when you glanced outside the window you noticed that the sun was almost setting. You were sure their activity was just late lunch, but you did not know how many people came or how long they were actually going to hang out. You let Jay know that you were going to go see him there, claiming that you had to get something at the mall too.

Just as you arrived at the mall, dropped off by Heeseung, your phone vibrated and you saw that Jay texted you that the party had moved to a different café but still at the same mall. You paused in your tracks and quickly searched for the café location on your phone. At the same time, Jay spotted you from a distance, and he sent you another text as he smiled, keeping his eyes on you.

“Is that her?”

Jay looked at the girl who sat beside him, Lucy, who was eyeing him and his phone the whole time. He shifted in his seat before he nodded, and he caught the glint of disapproval in her eyes.

“Guys,” she said, flipping her hair back to look at the rest of the group. “Jay’s auntie is here to pick him up.”

Some of the people laughed, while Jay’s inner circle looked at him warily from across the table. Jay scoffed and shook his head, knowing that Lucy was just saying that as a joke, but he decided that it would be better for him to go see you, instead of inviting you to the lion’s den.

“I’ll be right back,” Jay said, mainly to his three friends in front of him, before he stood up and walked out of the café.

You still had your nose buried in your phone when you heard Jay call your name. He came running to you and immediately pulling you into a hug, and you were just confused because he was acting like he hadn’t seen you for days.

“Dammit, I swore I was about to locate the café,” you murmured into his shoulders before melting into his embrace and hugging him back. “What is going on?”

“Nothing,” Jay reassured you, rubbing your back before pulling away from the hug. “Give me two minutes and I’ll be with you.”

“I thought you’re still catching up with your friends? It’s fine, I can walk around,” you peered over his shoulder and saw that a couple of people from inside the café were looking at your direction.

Jay moved to shield you from their stares and gave you a warm smile. “I’ve talked with them enough. I’d rather keep you company now. Two minutes, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

You nodded and watched as Jay basically sprinted back into the café. You decided to turn your back on them and just mindlessly scroll on your phone, waiting for him to come back. It didn’t even take him two minutes to find his place beside you, putting an arm around your waist and kissing the top of your head. You were genuinely curious about the sudden display of affection, but you decided to just ask about it at home.

---

You changed out of your outfit into a comfy lacy bra and pajama shorts, and you used a dainty kimono as a cover up since it was a little chilly. Jay was seated on the sofa with his white shirt and grey joggers, replying to a couple of messages on his phone.

“Anything interesting happened at the reunion?” You asked as you grabbed a bottle of vitamin water from the fridge.

“No, it was just a bunch of reminiscing old memories. Like talking about our teachers and stuff,” Jay replied. He continued to scroll on his phone and did not budge when you sat beside him.

“I would love to say hi to your friends, you know,” you placed your drink on the coffee table before leaning back on the sofa. “Why do I feel like you didn’t want me there?”

You noticed that Jay stopped scrolling and his thumb just hovered over the screen. You fixed your position and pulled both your legs up the sofa, and you made yourself face Jay, leaning your head sideways on the headrest.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” You asked again, this time with a voice so soft that you almost squeaked.

Jay instantly felt regret and put his phone away on the table. He shifted in his seat before facing you, taking one of your hands and just playing with your fingers as he spoke.

“I know I never ask about your exes, and that you only told me about them when it was relevant. I don’t know if you even want to know about my past, but I feel like I should be telling you anyway.”

You frowned as you stared at Jay, who was completely focusing his gaze on your hands and how his fingers were intertwined with them.

“Aside from catching up with my close friends, I feel like going to that reunion was a mistake. The rest of the kids are jerks anyways.”

You cleared your throat and straightened your position. “It sounds like you’re saying everything but nothing at the same time.”

Jay took a deep breath as he let go of your hands and buried his face in his palms. He then leaned back on the sofa and decided to stare at the ceiling as he continued to speak.

“I mentioned you to my friends, and everyone else were busy with their own conversations, so I really didn’t notice that Lucy was actually listening.”

You calmly listened, resting your head again on the sofa.

“Technically, she’s not my ex, but we were… something.”

And just like that, the image from hours ago became clear. Your mind rewound to when Jay shielded you from their view, and you did catch a glimpse of a girl who was looking at the both of you with the most bitter expression on her face.

“Like friends with benefits?” You decided to just shoot your question.

“No!” Jay almost jerked up in his seat. “No, nothing like that. It was just like a situationship, if that’s what people call it these days.”

You stretched your arm on the headrest, fingers almost grazing Jay’s ear. He tilted his head to look at you, and you tilted your chin to ask him to continue.

“She just made comments that I did not want anyone to hear. Especially not you.”

You scoffed and gently flicked Jay’s ear. He flinched in response. “You think I can’t handle a hate comment?”

Jay looked into your eyes and saw that you were practically angry at this point, and that if he refused to tell you everything, he knew the conversation would end badly.

“Well?” You asked, challenging him.

“She mentioned your age and sort of mocked you, that’s all. That’s why I wanted to leave right away.”

At this comment, you let out a snicker before you moved to stand up. Jay’s eyes followed your movements, and in an instant he already looked worried.

“Baby?” Jay sat up, watching as you made your way to the kitchen.

“I mean if she’s speaking the truth, can you really blame her?” You retorted. You started checking the drawers for nothing, just intentionally making noise. You didn’t know if it was the comment regarding your age, or that Jay had someone special you didn’t even know about that made you irritated. What you did know is that you wanted to be as far away as possible from him.

“Look,” Jay spoke as he walked towards you. “You wanted to know, so I…”

“How long was your relationship with her?”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“I want to know,” you said, leaning on the counter and putting your hands together, expecting an answer.

“Just over a year, I think,” Jay replied as he decided to sit on the stool across you.

“And it didn’t work out because?” You continued to press on him and disregarded the way your brain was telling you to stop the questioning right then and there before it turned into a bigger argument.

“We wanted different things,” Jay answered. “Y/N,” he called on you before you could ask another question. “If this is bothering you I’d rather not continue.”

“Okay,” you smiled, walking past him and heading right into your bedroom.

From your tone, Jay knew that your okay did not mean okay at all. He sighed and brushed his hair back before following you, and when he entered the bedroom you were already lounging on the bed, with a book that you were half-done reading in your hands.

“It’s killing me that you’re acting this way, and I know you don’t like it when I ask questions, but I really need to know,” Jay said, frustrated. He was leaning on the door with a hand in his pocket. “What’s bothering you? Do you want me to tell you everything about high school? Everything I did with her?”

His last question was definitely a mistake, and he knew it the moment it left his mouth. Jay shuffled to your side of the bed and kneeled down beside you, carefully taking the book out of your hands.

“Please,” he begged. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t know, Jay,” you replied with the strongest voice you could muster. You didn’t even realize that you were already choking back tears. “Sometimes I just wonder why you’re with me when you could really be dating someone your age.”

“Are you kidding?” Jay stood up before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Our age gap has never been a problem for me.”

“That’s the thing,” you said, avoiding eye contact. “It is for me sometimes.”

Jay stared at you for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity for you, and you realized that he was probably searching for the right words to say. He moved closer to you and took your hand, bringing it up to his lips for him to kiss.

“I’m sorry that I never considered it from your side,” he whispered. “But believe me, Y/N, I’ve never felt anything like this before. I don’t just love you, I’m in love with you. I can’t stand being apart from you for too long. I just want to do everything with you. Every little thing reminds me of you.”

You felt a lump on your chest, and you were sure it was because you were overwhelmed. You wanted to return everything Jay said to you because you felt the exact same way, but words weren’t coming out of your mouth. All you could do was let out a shaky breath when Jay scooted even closer to you, hands moving up to cup your face.

“I’ve never brought up stuff about my past because I do not want to even think about it. I just want to focus on the present and the future. And my future is you.”

You failed to hold in the tears you were choking back, so you looked down as they fell to your hands. Jay pulled you into his arms, wrapping you with his warmth as you sobbed into his shoulder. Your hand clenched his shirt and he began stroking your hair gently, shushing you and whispering comforting words in your ear.

Once you stopped sobbing, Jay pulled away to look at your face. He wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks before leaning in to kiss you. You sighed into the kiss, and he didn’t mind the salty aftertaste that lingered on your lips.

“So you don’t have any other exes?” You asked in between sniffles.

Jay chuckled. “Baby, I thought we were over this.”

You punched his shoulder lightly. “Just answer me.”

“I don’t,” Jay said, kissing your cheek.

“Then how do you explain this?” You asked, caressing his cheek and staring into his eyes.

Jay frowned. “What do you mean ‘this’?”

“The way you’re treating me.” You rubbed your thumb across his cheek and he nuzzled into your touch. “And the sex.”

Jay couldn’t help but burst out laughing at your last remark. You pouted as you were sure you asked a serious question.

“For the first part, you can say my parents raised me well,” Jay explained. He put his finger under your chin and tilted your head up. “And for the second part, I just watched a lot of porn and romance movies, to be honest.”

“Pervert,” you commented, earning another hearty laugh from him.

“But you’re reaping the benefits, right?” Jay kissed your nose playfully and you just shook your head in pretentious disgust. “And what about you? Where did you learn how to make those beautiful moans? You drive me crazy when you moan.”

“I read a lot of smut,” you said, matter-of-factly.

“Pervert,” he returned your comment before attacking your neck with kisses. You squealed and fell lying down on the bed, completely accepting the fact that Jay was now attacking you with no signs of backing down.

---

It was basketball night for Jay and his mates, and for tonight you decided to stay at home to catch up on the work you still had because you left the office early. You knew you were going to have a packed Friday the next day, so you decided to go for peace and quiet at the comfort of your own home.

As soon as you got home, you showered and changed into more comfortable clothes. Your dark green kimono outer paired with the black lacey top and shorts as a set was your current favorite. To lift your mood even more, you put on the new perfume that one of your friends bought for you from Paris.

Once you made yourself a cup of hot silver needle tea, you cozied up on your sofa, placing your laptop on top of the cushion on your lap and started typing away. You played Christmas jazz instrumentals on your phone and let it connect to the Bluetooth speaker, so as the setting sun casted an orange shade in your living room, the calming music also made you more focused on your work.

You decided to just wait up for Jay to have dinner since he was going to be home soon and you weren’t feeling that hungry either. You finished your cup of tea, and after checking a couple of notifications on your phone, you continued to work on your laptop, changing your positions once in a while so you would not strain your legs. After a while, you heard the lock beep and as Jay entered, you shouted out to him.

“Welcome home, baby,” you said without taking your eyes off your screen. You turned the music off before you continued to type until you felt a shadow hovering over you. When you looked up, Jay was looking at you with an unhappy face.

“It’s almost 9, why are you still working?” He asked, pulling the strap of his duffel bag off his shoulder.

“I left early today and I wanted to get ahead of tomorrow,” you explained. Your hands paused over your keyboards and Jay immediately took one of them, kissing the back of your hand.

“I’m gonna go shower, and if you’re still working by the time I’m done, I’m gonna get mad,” Jay said. He leaned in to kiss the top of your head before disappearing. You just smiled and continued to work.

You swore only five minutes had passed before Jay returned to the living room, with a towel over his head and his favorite sleeveless black tee paired with his black shorts. He smelled like your soap and shampoo, and you like how it mixed with his own scent. Before you could say anything to greet him back, he yanked your laptop away from you and carefully placed it on the coffee table.

“Jay,” you muttered out of surprise. “I wasn’t done typing.”

Jay pouted as he walked in front of you, threw himself on the sofa beside you, and lied down while placing his head on your lap.

“Your hands can continue to be occupied,” Jay said, his hot breath tickling your thighs. “Please stroke my hair.”

You chuckled but did as he said. You brought up the towel and started rubbing it gently over his hair to dry it better. Jay closed his eyes, feeling content as he faced the TV. Once you were done, you pulled the towel away and set it on the armrest.

Jay shifted in his position and turned around, facing your stomach. He scooted closer and playfully pulled your top up before leaning in and just hiding under your top. He then kissed your belly button and you shook your head laughing. He began blowing raspberries on your stomach and you pinched his arm to make him stop.

“It tickles!” You said when he uncovered his face to give you a look of protest.

He reached out his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek. You leaned in to kiss his forehead and he closed his eyes. When you pulled back, he frowned and started sniffing the air.

“Do I smell a new perfume?” Jay asked, opening his eyes completely and looking at you. “It is new, isn’t it?”

You nodded. “It’s a solid perfume that I’ve never tried before. I put it under my ears only. Do you like it?”

Jay groaned in an effort to lift himself off your lap. He sat sideways, an arm beside your thigh supporting his weight. He then nuzzled into your neck and took a quick sniff.

“I like it,” he said, sniffing again. “It’s fresh and subtle.”

He moved to sniff your right side and you just laughed softly, craning your neck.

“It’s so good?” He declared, sounding more like a question. Once he was done sniffing you he kissed your jawline.

“I’ve read that solid perfumes are meant to be sniffed only when you get closer to the person wearing it.”

“That’s sexy,” Jay commented. You just raised your eyebrows and nodded. “You’re sexy.”

You snorted at the sudden compliment, and Jay was just looking at you as he bit his lower lip. He placed his fingers under your chin and kissed you again, deeper this time, making a point that he wanted you. You grabbed him by the neck and pulled him closer, returning the gesture. Eventually, Jay’s arm gave out and he fell on your lap again after a hot minute of just kissing you.

He didn’t want to stop there, so he leaned into your stomach again and started peppering your belly with kisses. You smiled and brushed his hair back, observing him with adoring eyes. His hand made its way to your breasts, and the moment he started massaging your tits it became harder for you to control your sounds.

You brought your feet up to the coffee table, making your thighs tilt and giving Jay enough elevation for his mouth to reach your breasts. He began sucking on your tit, and squeezing the other with his hand. Your breath had become shaky at this point, and you desperately reached down his body to find something to touch.

Lucky for you, and for him, he was already hard. As he continued to suck on your boob, you began palming his crotch, gently rubbing your hands on his clothed erection. He groaned and almost grazed his teeth on your nipple before pulling away to look up at you.

“Can you take your top off for me?” He asked softly, his eyes almost sparkling.

“Only if you get naked for me too,” you said, smiling.

Jay sat up and ditched his t-shirt and shorts in an instant, and you were still in the middle of pulling your lacey top off when he settled himself on your lap again.

“But wear the kimono again,” he requested. “It’s a great color on you.”

“Very well, my prince.” You squished his cheeks together before pulling him for a kiss. Once you donned the kimono again, Jay smiled so widely before licking his lips.

You returned your attention to his throbbing dick in your hand while you let him suck on your tits again. You could see the precum on his tip as you carefully slid your fingers up and down his shaft. Jay began moaning, keeping his mouth latched onto your nipple. Every time your hand squeezed harder, he sucked harder, and the way he looked on your lap just made you fall in love with him all over again.

You can tell from his erection that this simple action was turning him on a lot, so you began stroking his hair and whispering comforting words to him. At one point, he opened his eyes and looked up at you, mouth still full with your boob, and you froze the image in your mind, wanting to remember it forever.

“My sweet prince,” you whispered, letting your hand do its job by spreading his precum all the way down to the base of his cock. He whimpered and bucked his hips up, trying to fuck your hand.

He pulled away from you and you saw a string of his saliva still connected to your breasts. “I’m close,” he announced, and when he looked at you, you nodded.

You pushed his head back into your breasts again and let him leave as many love bites as he wanted, all while your hand began pumping his cock faster. He began moaning louder and without further warning, he cummed all over his stomach. You saw the ropes of white staining his toned abs and you gently guided him as he rode out his high.

Jay began to catch his breath, and you brushed his hair back, chuckling as you saw a bead of sweat trickling down. You kissed his forehead and he reached up to your arm, rubbing his hand up and down. The towel that you conveniently placed on the armrest proved to be useful, as you reached for it and cleaned up Jay in less than thirty seconds.

“Are you still on your period?” Jay asked. The question almost caught you off guard. You folded the towel neatly before putting it away.

“No, it ended two days ago.”

“You made me wait for sex for two days?!” Jay spat. You threw your head back laughing before looking back at him again. “Get naked, now,” he demanded.

“Oh my God, Jay,” you placed your hand flat on his abs before poking him there with your pointy finger. He flinched on your lap. “You just had an orgasm.”

“And?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. “You say that like we’ve never gone for multiple rounds before.”

“I’m saying slow down,” you cooed, your hand caressing his face. “The night is still young.”

“Yeah, and I’m hungry,” Jay said, pouting.

You looked at the time and turned your head around to look at the kitchen. “I can cook you some ramen if you--”

“No, I want to eat you.”

When you stared back into his eyes you realized he was serious. He pouted and gave you his puppy eyes, and you just melted, pushing his face with your two hands and kissing his nose. “Okay,” you said, before tapping his shoulder so he could move away.

He began palming himself as he watched you pull your lacey shorts and your panties down in one go. You look at him and pinched the hem of your kimono. “On or off?”

“On,” Jay answered without missing a beat. You shook your head smiling. Jay then lied back on the sofa and you tilted your head.

“I thought you said you wanted to eat me out?” You asked, a puzzled look on your face.

Jay nodded. “Please place your pussy here,” he touched his lips, “and face that way,” he pointed to his legs.

“If you wanted 69 you could just say so,” you giggled, carefully throwing one leg over his head to get into position.

“Oh, my queen,” he sighed once his face came into contact with your core. “You should have told me you’re this wet.”

You had to admit that Jay sucking on your boobs while you jerked him off aroused you as much as it did him. But at this point, you realized that sometimes words can be set aside and you could let your body speak for itself.

The moment Jay licked a stripe down your folds, you jerked forward from the sudden warmth. You began stroking his dick, which was almost hard again. You took him in your mouth and started to mimic his ministrations on your cunt. When he licked a stripe along your folds, you licked a stripe along his shaft. When he sucked your clit, you sucked his tip. At one point he chuckled into you, noticing what you were doing, and the vibration you felt almost sent you into overdrive.

You moaned when you felt his tongue enter you, and since you had his dick in your mouth you almost choked. You were determined to take all of him and to return every single loving gesture he was making, but it was getting harder with every minute. You jerked your hips away from his lips, but it only made him pull you down harder, his two hands resting comfortably on your ass cheeks.

The choking sound you unintentionally made drove him to dive into you deeper. His tongue ran down your folds before entering you completely, and you whimpered, mouth full with his cock and body shaking from the pleasure. You felt the familiar knot in your stomach and you had to let go of his dick in order to breathe. You kept jerking him off with your hands though, but now your moans were clearer to him, so he continued to eat you out until you came on his face.

Your legs were shaking but you kept yourself up, determined to help Jay reach his second high of the night. Breathing heavily, you were about to take his length into your mouth again, but his hands stopped you and he began to just guide your hand up and down his shaft until he came on himself again. You carefully dismounted and just sat on the floor, buck naked, leaning your head on the sofa and still having your palm wrapped around his dick.

Jay looked at you with a regretful look on his face. “Babe,” he said, licking his lips and tasting your juice. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded weakly, moving your hand to intertwine your fingers with his. You then sat up to get on your knees, and grabbing the same towel you used earlier, but with a different surface, you began wiping his mouth and chin.

“Babe,” Jay chuckled, stopping you by grabbing your wrist. “Your legs were shaking so much, I can’t believe you’re cleaning me up, right now.”

You shook your head. “Remember when you said that it’s your responsibility to clean up this place since this is your home now? Well, you’re my home, so it makes sense for me to clean you up.”

Jay laughed softly before taking the towel away, and he swiftly wiped away the cum from his stomach. He then pulled you towards him, moving back so there was enough space for you to lie down on the sofa. You did, and immediately turned to face him, nuzzling his neck.

“How was basketball night?” You asked, closing your eyes.

Jay snaked an arm around your waist and began rubbing your sides. “Uneventful. We placed a bet and I lost, again. I have to order late night snacks for them later.”

You giggled and tilted your head to kiss his chin. “Seems like you came home to a snack too.”

“Oh, I did.” Jay smiled. He pulled back a bit to look at you and found you beaming at him. “I got a whole meal.”

You pursed your lips and Jay chuckled before kissing you. He then pulled you closer into his embrace, rubbing your arms to keep you warm. The actual late-night snack can wait.

-END-

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