#probably my fav shot in all of eva

[soulspark]

[reidmotif]

my fic + author recs!

i have been suuuper disgruntled by the fic community recently and how casually and thoughtlessly some fic writers/readers seem to be indirectly insulting people’s work. this community and its fics are so varied, and i think they deserve to be appreciated. which is why im reccing a bunch of my fav fics!! please give these writers sooo much love!!

(about all of my recs are nsfw, but some authors mentioned do have sfw fics. please explore and follow the warnings outlined for each fic!!)

“i know your wife and she wouldn’t mind” by @stairain

gotta start out with stairain. i would pretty much credit my whole desire to write fanfics to the fact that i religiously read their whole masterlist a summer ago. they are a fantastic writer, and i love how they captured spencer here. take a look!

“i want you” by @smurphyse

i HEAVILY recommend smurphyse as an author. their series, room 405 is probably one of my most reread fics ever. their threesome and foursome fics are beyond supreme. i love this one shot they’ve written, and i hope you guys do too!

“loverboy” by @sundrop-writes

while i dont think this person writes for cm anymore, their fics for it were fantastic. i love how they captured sub spencer, and i think this is one of my most reread fics ever.

“puppy eyes” by @misserabella

i am in looove with the way this person writes. while i dont have a link to it, “sick love” changed my brain chemistry. sub spencer save me sub spencer save me.

“summer of sin” by @mercy-burning

hoooly shit. if you know me, you’ll know i probably reccomend this fic to everyone i know. i just genuinely can’t say anything besides telling you with my whole heart to check it out. awesome way to close out your summer honestly.

i would love to write blurbs about my love for these fics for everyone, but i fear the post would become too longwinded. here are some links and authors i recommend just as enthusiastically as i did the others above.

@reiderwriter

@foxy-eva

@fortheloveofwonderland

@incognit0slut

@beelmons

@imagining-in-the-margins

@criminalmindzjunkie

@andiebeaword

@reidsrambles

@eideticmemory

@sinfulspencer

@wheelsup

@beautifulbrainrot

@moon-light-jukebox

@gubsbuubs

@minswriting

@golden1u5t

@ginkgo-phyta

@gubler-me-up

@reidbae

@crypticreid

“who’s counting” by @samuel-de-champagne-problems

“behave back there” by @writingmar

“mile high club” by @littlexdeaths

“next to you” by @zombiefiilm

“testing the limits” by @reidsdimples

“follow my lead” by @mismatched-sockss

“welcome home” by @spencerreidenjoyer

“incentive” by @reidslibrarybook

“the very first night” by @writer-in-theory

this request from @donald4spiderman

“malicious compliance” by @aliteralsemicolon

“all zipped up” by @ipseitydelrey

this request from @thedancingcostumeyoungadult

this request from @astrophileous

“scream for you” by @hornyhornyhimbos

“thin walls” by @byersbootyshorts

“just my type” by @reidgraygubler

welcome to the small blurb after where i say something that’s been bugging me. i think it’s corny to indirectly insult people’s work on here. i think it’s corny to imply a “correct” way to write a character, especially in terms of writing about a characters sex life, a sex life that has no canonical basis to it! (i am talking about spencer here, if it is not obvious). i think it’s thoughtless, arrogant and all around odd to engage with that type of behavior. the variety of fanfiction that exists here is such an awesome thing, and i think itd be so incredibly boring if we all thought the same thing and wrote the same thing about the same characters over and over again.

if you’re a writer and you’ve felt that your work has been unappreciated or rejected, or have read something that left you feeling off about your own work, i am very sorry. every contributor to this fandom is awesome. you deserve every flower ever. 🌷🌷🌷

and if you’re reading this and feel called out.. examine that! i make this post off of a general vibe i have examined in the past few weeks. there is no level of entitlement you hold that allows you to dictate how and what people should write.

i say these words with little malice. id like to hope everyone is capable of being a little better everyday, and i hope any amount of reflection can lead to that.

anyway, that’s all ❤️ baiiii enjoy reading!!!!!

[td-scenarios]

Base Lines!!

Just so you all can know which requests I’ll take and not take! I’ll also sometimes just be writing whatever I want so y’all can see what type of posts I’ll be making. (my favs will be bold :] )

Characters I’ll write for:

Boys

Cody*******

Geoff

DJ

Owen

Noah

Harold

Alejandro

Justin

Tyler

Trent

Cameron

Mike (+ all alters!)

B

Lightning

Scott

Brick

Sam

Shawn

Topher

Rodney

Chris McLean

Chef

Don

Brody

Tom

Ryan

Jacques

Ennui

Girls

Courtney

Gwen

Bridgette

Katie

Sadie

Eva

Izzy

Heather

Lindsay

Leshawna

Sierra

Staci

Dakota

Dakotazoid

Dawn

Zoey

Jo

Anne Maria

Jasmine

Sammy

Ella

Sugar

Scarlett

Sky

Kitty 

Emma

MacArthur

Sanders

Crimson

Taylor

Josee

Ellody

Mary

Laurie

Miles

Jen

Carrie

Blaineley

Then pretty much every character you don’t see listed here, I won’t write about. It may be best to request them anyways because there’s a possibility I forgot someone I WILL write for or I may be feeling nice!

All plots are welcome! What I 100% won’t write is:

Anything Non-con

Heavy Gore

Heavy NSFW

P*doph*l*a

Inc*st

More may be added to that list if anything come to mind!

Other generic rules:

Reader will be gender-neutral unless requested otherwise

Mostly scenarios, but I will write hcs or full one-shots if wanted

Will probably take place during the competitions unless stated otherwise

I will take both ship and x reader suggestions!

And that’s it for now! I hope you all enjoy my blog and will like what I have to put out there!

[thefreshchannel]

What do u think ur fav td charas would be like drunk

I’m gonna do some of my favs and whether they drink or not

I already talked about courtney being a lightweight and a crying drunk like she gets giggly at first and likes to sing out of the blue but then she just remembers her party’s probably watched total drama and cries and projectile vomits because she can’t hold her alcohol. Super embarrassed about it the day after and reports any videos of her wasted on social media only to be met with “if u dont like this untag urself” and she threatens with lawyers. Obviously she’s not gonna follow through with that but it enrages her lol

Heather pretty much has a high tolerance for alcohol and will start getting a little buzzed after many drinks. She starts yelling probably and brings up stuff that was supposed to be a secret and laughs a lot like “hey leshawna remember when u told me this? Oh that was supposed to be a secret hahaha oops!” (I like to think she likes to go clubbing with leshawna bc fuck whatever happened in tdwt theyre besties)

Alejandro also has a high tolerance. He only allows himself to feel a bit buzzed for fun, probably refuses to let himself get too wasted or a mess. Probably laughs a lot and stumbles over his words and mixes a lot of his spanish with his english. Can start dancing a lot with the bros and singing.

Trent likes to drink as if he was a famous musician at parties and attempts to get lit but becomes an emotional drunk. He’ll obviously bring his guitar to whatever party he’s invited to and like perform but the moment he gets to an emotional song he’ll start crying and then ppl go like “geoff man this guy’s bringin the party down” and geoff has to get trent like “bro it’s cool take a lil break” and gives him water. Trent then knocks out and falls asleep and wakes up with a massive headache and without any memory of the events at the party and likes to think he was very much a party animal. Geoff doesnt have the heart to tell him otherwise.

I wanted to be like uwu owen dont drink but realistically this man loves craft beers. He has a high alcohol tolerance as well and is mostly the laughing drunk and life of the party. Once he is fully wasted he would probably take his shirt off and dance and pass out and not remember anything the day after, but that would be after many many MANY drinks. I’d like to think he started drinking young like maybe geoff would invite him to parties and sneak alcohol in and at first owen would be like “but we can’t drink alcohol :0” but then let loose and join the fun.

Noah likes to drink in moderation. He can also make some fancy drinks like bartenders do? Probably gets home after work and has a little drink of wine. Never lets it get past one or two. He knows his limits and how much a lightweight he is. When he’s drunk he’s also a laughing oversharing drunk and very VERY clumsy and constantly tripping over things. Owen has to care for him when he’s in this situation which is when noah gets clingy and kisses him all over and goes like “big guyyyyy carryy meeeee :(“ the next day he definitely feels it and can barely get up. Also a puking disaster.

I’d like to think eva either doesn’t drink or does drink but very moderately and would have a high alcohol tolerance anyways. Izzy does drink however, and despite having a high tolerance for alcohol she drinks so much when she’s at parties like she probably would do shots and beer pong games and do the stand up keg thing and probably shotguns beers and keep joining drinking games after that. And she wins all of them lol. She’s twice as crazy and giggly when she’s drunk but just moves a lot slower and clumsier. Tries to put stuff in her mouth that isn’t edible. Blacks out and wakes up in another location and walks away as if nothing happened. Whenever eva is invited with her eva ends up babysitting and being the DD.

Rock and spud are party animals. Definitely have high alcohol tolerance so it takes a lot for them to get drunk but they will still aim for that anyways. Spud for the most part can chug many drinks and his delayed reaction would make it so he starts getting drunk moments after which is why spud tends to think the alcohol isnt having effect and keeps on drinking. Both reckless drunks. Destroy shit, lose clothes, drink more, party hard, spud goes on to do stupid dares that rock’s too drunk to stop him from doing, black out, wake up somewhat buzzed with their heads pounding and random tattoos they dont remember getting on them. Spud feels the headaches much later so he’s always laughing and talking about what a good time they had.

Leshawna likes to think she has high alcohol tolerance much like she likes to think she knows how to dance, i feel like her and heather would have drinking nights at clubs and leshawna would lose herself fast and become a huge giggling mess and dances much worse than she usually does but the club loves her. Constantly tells heather stuff like “yknow...u are so fuckin toxic but ur my friend....u suck but i cant hate ya...u showed ur tits to someone i liked at the time...:ur a wh*re...ur my wh*re friend...” and obviously heather being a bit buzzed finds this hilarious and tries to get leshawna to stop drinking. Calls people and says personal stuff. Can get emotional at times. Mostly just giggly, loves to dance. Calls harold constantly like “u remember back in tdi...” and harold has to drive all the way to leshawna to get her before she gets any worse or lets more stuff out. Leshawna gets hangovers bad tho so the next day she’s practically dead. I’d like to think her and gwen become roommates before gwen dates courtney in my future au so gwen’s the one caring for leshawna being like “i told u heather has no control with drinks” heather obviously calls to make sure leshawna’s alive and harold checks on her constantly.

[enjhae]

Double Exposure is a collaborative series that features the work of an admired artist.

LightLeaks second featured artist is Eva Mecham–a Vegas-based photographer who strives to represent women in an industry dominated by men. While the struggle to find respect always seems like a challenge, she continues her quest to become a respected photographer by practicing and perfecting her craft.

In this segment of Double Exposure, our aim is to support women, not just in photography but in every field where women are not represented fairly, respected or even paid enough in comparison to our male counterparts.

Eva and I interviewed each other to learn more about our love for photography, how our interest for photography originated, our influences and more.

EVA JACQUELINE MECHAM

Age: 23

DOB: 06/03/1994 Gemini

Background: Portuguese/Lao/German/French

Born: Las Vegas, NV

Raised: East Side Las Vegas

Insta Handles: 

 @spottiottieva was the first personal instagram I ever had but it became more technical to show ALL my work through.

…so I created the other two pages to serve as multiple outlets of exposure exuding different variable factors.

Humans AND Environment. Lol.

@sweetleaf_phto is female energy only and conceptual portraits/groupshots.

@jacqueline_images is my art and street photo page.

Why/how did get into photography?

My grandfather. He documented just about everything. He passed away in 2011 but his legacy lives on. He lived a life beyond what photos could show. His family traveled from Spain to America during the 1920’s. His determination, discipline, will, focus, and attention to detail rooted in me and allowed me to open my mind to the idea of collecting and acquiring but with tangibility and substance.

Past my grandfather stimulating my lifestyle choices I felt that spark after I developed my first roll of film. Being able to hold a photo in your hands is truly magic in the simplest form. Photos have influenced me my entire life. Keeps me constantly reverting back to instances and wishing I could save moments to time travel to. Just like music or a scent, a photo can greatly alter your perception or mood.

Last, a major reason I ever pushed my photography skills beyond documentation was skateboarding. I was at a young age when I fell more and more in love with every skate mag or video I ever watched. Naturally I began sourcing all my inspiration and tones through how the skateboarding industry plastered my brain. It’s common to have these wild kids throw themselves off staircases with ease and dive into 12ft deep drops every day. Whether it was filmed with thousand dollar equipment or the cheapest vx setup, A-1 quality images and content has always been around. It wasn’t until I learned real anticipation taking a pre meditated flick of a skater in motion performing a trick repeatedly without near success till maybe the 20th try in, that I understood the feeling of that equation. That 21st key shot is a high. All that focus.

What does your photos mainly consist /focus on? Why?

My photo collection is a mix of portraits of friends I’ve built connections or bridges with while the other half is a handful of my travels, daily life, and streets I walk through. I have to mention I LOVE ART of ANY kind. Art embodied within all forms. Especially if it doesn’t belong somewhere or a rule was broken to make or keep it there. I believe in the idea that the world truly is ours so exercising the freedom to express ourselves is common law to me. Almost like a personal passion project. On the other hand my favorite subject to photograph are literal human hands. I’m fascinated by hands. Our hands are such beautiful blessings that we often take for granted. With our hands we can touch, create, hurt, destroy, clean, whatever it be. Our hands are multifaceted and a huge relatable connection between us all as humans. No one hand is the same. Like our eyes, I feel they are also portals to the soul.

You are all about empowering women. How do you convey this in your work?

Confidence can be instilled in many ways but I have never seen more confidence instilled within a female more than when she enjoys a photo of herself. Living in this overly extroverted world, it’s common to find that most women compare themselves to everyone. Even men. I know this to be true because I can testify myself. I’ve grown up riddled with anxieties I’ve whispered to my inner conscience for so many years, without even realizing it. A photo can translate emotions and feelings you didn’t know you had. A virtual avenue. A portable capsule of what existed at that time. There is growth in a photo. People glorify in the beauty of a butterfly but fail to remember the stages of growth it took to become that butterfly we see. So for me to be able to capture the growth of is something one of a kind to me. Anyone or anything can have it’s photo taken. But it’s all about the subject. I stress to validate the women in my photos through our shared experience and what they represent passionately. Who are these women and how can I uniquely translate what they have made me feel through a mere photo for the world to perceive.

Talk about your experience collaborating on this project.

Norma! I’m extremely flattered you would have asked me to be a part of this project as it is so pure and beautiful. I love to share my thoughts and feelings and often feel I am overlooked and underestimated. Every once and awhile I meet someone who makes me feel human and included at the same time. I look up to you Norma as you are an incredibly vivid photographer with natural ability only acquired through patience, growth, focus, determination, and skill. I often wish we had met sooner. But there is a reason for everything and the influence you have provided has guided me quite a bit. I truly love Jelly and KNOW without a doubt that dog has a great soul. I’m lucky to have friends who aspire to create, as this will be so enjoyable in my older years to look back on and cherish as I fade.

Who is your fav photographer?

This is probably the hardest question you put on here but I’d have to say my grandfather.

Whose work has influenced your work the most?

I honestly wouldn’t be able to narrow it down but i enjoy and source my inspiration from lots of the lasting images of these timeless talents below….

Keegan Gibbs (so fucking fire)-

Atiba Jefferson (skateboarding essentials)

Mike O’Meally (classic skateboarding essentials)

Henry Chalfant (innumerable amounts of graffiti documentation)

Tobin Yelland (filmy skateboard shots)

Duran Levinson (insane portrait photographer)

Craig Stecyk (Z-town documenter/skateboarding essentials)

JR (graffiti/wheatpastephotographer)

Martha Cooper (80’s legend in street art journalism)

Alex Fakso (skate & graffiti essentials)

Ruedi One (for those wet blk&wht artsy street nights)

Ed Templeton (almost forgot this legend)

Nan Goldin (female legend)

Haris Nukem (vivid portrait photographer)

Ruth Orkin (female legend)

Who are you currently listening to, music-wise?

I have this private playlist I made myself I play every morning after I get up to get ready for the day. I’m revealing the first 3 songs but the rest is secret.

Rebel without a pause-Public Enemy.

Leaving Babylon-Sublime.

If 6 was 9-Jimi Hendrix.

Besides the essentials I‘ve been playing a lot of lo-fi hip hop beats/scratches/mixups while I work or create lately.

I usually have either an Alchemist or Madlib CD in my car stereo. I use a lot of CD’s and cassettes lol. Let’s just say my auxiliary option is variably unreliable so CD’s are solid lol.

What is your favorite photo you’ve taken and why?

I thought for so long on how to answer this. Haha. I have to say that every photo is my favorite. Not to feed the ego or anything but maybe in other words I’m a hoarder. Any and all photos I take fall into my collection and that to me is something that holds my life’s work and ultimate value. My archive. The best way to put this answer into perspective is the idea that I’m not done yet. I’m still constantly & avidly pursuing higher dimensions through photography, through life, through myself. For me to choose a favorite photo would be for me to say that I’ve reached some finished point. Don’t get me wrong I have favorited shots over others but like I said I love every photo I take because I love life.

Digital or film? Why?

Film is permanent. Technology isn’t built to last forever. You don’t need technology shooting film. Art in a post apocalyptic world is a priority. Creating something tangible is far more lasting to me. Especially one with an element of surprise.

A fixed restriction makes you think twice, I’m sure. Film is exactly that. Knowing you have that limited amount of shots, each one seems to count more. Film is a spectrum balance between a premeditated photo or a foggy moment in time. I’m a fast paced shooter but with shooting film I catch myself staring at nothing till I see something. Essentially, it’s something that actually slows me down and I need that.

Movie you’d recommend an aspiring photographer to watch for inspo.

Recommendation for inspo for an aspiring photographer hmmmm!

I’d say watch any Tim Burton film. That’s a given. I’m a major fan ofTim Burton’s movies and stories.

Then I’d say, Across the Universe and Inherent Vice. And after that watch some of Quentin Tarantino’s films. Those are all classic.

FEMALE POWUR PLAYLIST

https://open.spotify.com/user/normal_genes/playlist/351NQKgAj4lfzEnuamHKAm?si=V4TwoqWoQgWXME8Rzlzh1A

EVA PHOTO GALLERY

S E T  1

  S E T  2

  S E T  3

  FILM SET

  NORMA JEAN ORTEGA aka NJ

Sign: Gemini

Background: Filipino American

Born: Las Vegas, NV

Being self-taught, how do you educate yourself on new ideas and techniques to take better pictures?

I can’t say I was self-taught because my dad was photographer. So I essentially grew up with the concept of photography. One of my first jobs was at this photo studio at Meadows Mall. I learned the basics in color balance, posing models and composition. College is where I got my formal training in photography. I learned how to shoot strictly in manuel when I took 3 years of black & white film photography and I became obsessed to say the least. Practicing photography in this manner gave me a sense of meaning behind the photos I took. I loved the idea of building a concept for the photos I had taken and embraced the idea of suspension and surprise.

But to answer your question, I learn new techniques by trail and error. Stick to one camera for a long period of time until I feel like I’ve mastered it then move on to the next. YouTube is also a thing. LOL. What is it that you want to say with your photographs, and how do you channel your work to illustrate that? Why? My personal photography documents moments and captures feelings that I like to look back on. A photo diary for the most part.

The subjects I touch on in my more serious work, aims to unpack what it means to be an Asian American female—of course from my own person experience. I express distressing feelings from my childhood, my feelings towards Asian stereotypes and dissect the standards of beauty in Asian culture.

When packing photo gear for a trip, what all do you take with you and why? My olympus stylus, fujifilm 400/800. A majority of the photos I take on a trip mimic the documentary style that I grew up with, however instead of focusing on people I try to focus on a moment and gut feeling that I am drawn to capture.

What motivates you to continue taking photos, whether it be socially, economically, politically, intellectually or emotionally? Everything is cathartic for me. It is a way to release a thought or feeling that I wouldn’t otherwise know how to express. Writing was my source of releasing this energy but through photography, I love how subjective it is to everyone else. You can share your work and get a complete different reaction or thought for what it was intended. But for me, when I look at my images, I know exactly how I felt and what I was struggling with at moment. It is somewhat of a reminder.

Within the aspect of women and social culture, what would you say is the difference between capturing beauty vs. vulgarity?

I think that what is considered vulgar for women is a popular theme in art, where artists are trying to breakdown that social norm for women. What was expected of women is being shattered by the “vulgar” images expressed by various female artists and photographers. It is essential, necessary and about fuckin’ time. To be lady-like was a standard put together by men and women are fully capable of conducting themselves however they see fit.

How did you develop an interest in photography and at what age were you?

Grew up around photography because of my dad. So I guess I always had an interest in photography. I grew up with a camera in my face and albums of albums of every major holiday and moment in my life. One of my first jobs was working in a photo studio called Photomania. Kids would go there to take their high school photos and basically trade them to each other like Pokemon cards. Hahah!

But working there was dope! I got to learn how to print from an old school printing machine. Had to clean that beast of a machine and take it apart every night. But I never took photography seriously until college. It’s when I finally learned about the greats (like Ansel Adams, Robert Frank, Cindy Sherman, and Weegee) that I completely got turned on to it.

Whose work has influenced you most, any favorites? Francesca Goodman, Nan Goldin, Ren Hang, Petra Collins, Carrie Mae Weems, Stanley Kubrick, Catherine Angel and Kimber Beck

When you are out shooting, how much of it is instinctual vs planned?

Half and half. And some times it’s completely spontaneous which is the best because when you feel that it’s the right moment, you just gotta go for it and pray that the photo comes out the way you wanted it to.

How has social media played a role in your photography?

It’s influenced me in the ways of curating my posts. Before, I just use to post whatever. But I think moving along the years of Instagram, I’ve seen how streamlined people can get with their style and feel of their photos. I also have my job to thank for that too.

While, I do curated my post, the work os still all mine. So I still see my Instagram as a photo journal but broken down into different segments.

What advice can you dish for any entry level photographers?

By a cheap camera and master it. Don’t buy into getting high quality gear until you find your style. Also, hang out with the local photographers you admire. You want to surround yourself with people who will push you to do better. A good piece of advice I learned from my cousin, Ez. Thanks cuh!

and of course i almost forgot….Talk about your experience collaborating on this project.

From our initial meeting at 6th & Franklin, I knew you we’re a go-getter! Actually, I hadn’t even met you yet but people we’re talking you up so hard that I was honestly intimidated. But real talk, I admire your constant drive to create work and your strive to improve your skills as a photographer. You are a walking and talking think-tank!

Doing this project was another project that I felt drawn to do, just like with my first Doublexposure guest, Andi. Everything I pursue in terms of interviews is purely for the need to connect with people who I admire. I am proud for what you stand for as an artist and I will support you every step of the way. Love ya girl 😘

NORMA JEAN PHOTO GALLERY

SET 1

  SET 2

  SET 3

  FILM SET

  Double Exposure: Featuring Eva Mecham Double Exposure is a collaborative series that features the work of an admired artist. LightLeaks second featured artist is…

[daigina-3]

86 “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”

You didn’t say so I’ve jsut started switching off between my two fav power couples so heres a drunk evilde thing I wrote while slightly buzzed myself peace 

-

Vilde shut the bathroom door, biting her lip. She could still feel the beat in the air, still hear the music and chatter sinking in through walls- 

But she was alone. 

And drunk. And. 

She turned, facing herself in the bathroom mirror for just a second before her hazy mind decided that she couldn’t stand looking at her smudged mascara and messed up hair and-

Moved to sit down on the toilet. The lid was fuzzy and pink. She picked at it, taking deep breaths. Her legs didn’t feel real. Her face was hot. Her lips felt numb, like they weren’t there. But they had to be there because she could bite them. She nipped at her lower lip a few times, relishing in the feeling.

Eva bit her lips, sometimes. Not Eva’s, Vilde’s. Or maybe sometimes also Eva’s.

Vilde liked it when Eva bit her lips, though. But tonight she was biting Eirik’s lips instead, and Vilde... 

Oh it was so stupid. Vilde wasn’t supposed to care. They hadn’t really kissed since high school and then Eva and Jonas got together again and then they broke up again and now Vilde was in university, and they weren’t drunk russ girls anymore. It didn’t matter who Eva kissed. 

Until Eva kissed Vilde again, two weeks ago. And Vilde couldn’t think of anything else since. But, oh she was being stupid. Stupid. Stu-

“Vilde?” Someone knocked. Vilde knew who it was. But she just stared. Maybe if she stared enough, the door would be quiet. 

“Vilde, are you okay?” Eva knocked again. Now Vilde had made Eva leave her kisses because she had made a scene- had been so stupid-

“Vilde, please say something. I’m worried.” 

Eva probably thought she was so annoying- Vilde was so annoying, wasn’t she? She was always saying the wrong thing. Always wrong or stupid or too much. Just too much. 

So she didn’t say anything. 

Eva was quiet for a long time and Vilde thought she had left- when did she start crying?- when the other girl called through the door, louder this time. 

“Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.” 

A sob escaped Vilde’s mouth and her hands shot up to cover it- or wipe at her eyes- or both. She ended up with one hand wiping at her face, probably smearing her eye make-up everywhere in the process, while the other one covered her mouth. 

Another sob escaped, louder this time. She couldn’t stop it. 

That’s when the door swung open and Eva was there, kneeling by her. She took Vilde’s hands and dabbed at what was probably a disaster of a face with toilet paper. 

Eva spoke in hushed tones that made Vilde’s heart ached. She wished Eva would just go away, far far away. Or come close. So close. 

“I’m sorry,” Vilde hiccuped. Eva shook her head but Vilde went on. She didn’t need Eva lying to her. “I know it’s dumb- I don’t mean to- you should go back to Eirik, I can’t. I can’t.”

Eva’s brow furrowed. “Can’t what, Vilde?”

Vilde met her eyes through the tears. She wanted to say so much, but the words wouldn’t come. “You and Eirik. I can’t.” She had said it now- or all but said it- and maybe it was better to tell Eva that she couldn’t stand seeing her kissing someone, someone else, so then Eva could understand and just go and let Vilde-

Except Eva didn’t go. She only held Vilde’s hands tighter. 

“What do you mean?” 

Vilde couldn’t. She couldn’t. She shook her head. “’s dumb.”

“No, Vilde,” Eva sat up on her knees, her face closer. “ I promise it’s not. Please, say something. What do you mean?” 

She stared at where Eva’s hands held her own for a long time. Sometimes when Vilde had to say something- something she didn’t know if she wanted to say- she stayed in that moment, right before it was said. She would hold it for as long as she could and imagine a world where she didn’t need to say anything at all before she broke her silence. 

She breathed in, and then breathed out the truth. Quiet and painful.

“I can’t- can’t watch you and Eirik kiss. Be- b’cause I want to kiss you.”

Eva leaned down, forcing Vilde to tear her eyes away from their hands and focus on her face. 

“Like how we usually do?”

Vilde shook her head. A few more tears fell. “No. Like. Like, really.” 

“Really?” Eva repeated. 

And she knew Eva would pull back, just a bit. Apologize. Say she was sorry but she just didn’t feel the same w-

“Me, too.”

Vilde drew back, just a fraction. 

“Vilde,” Eva asked, hesitant. “Can I kiss you? Really kiss you?”

Everything was still for a long time and Vilde took in Eva’s face, messy eyeshadow and cheeks tinged pink with nerves. 

Vilde’s hand tightened in Eva’s. She didn’t say anything. 

She just kissed. They would talk and use words later. They’d figure out what this meant exactly later. They’d talk about Eirik later. Right now, sloppy and wet with Vilde’s tears, they kissed. 

Really, really kissed. 

[naberiie]

oh man I hope u feel better soon !! 🙁💗 also what got u into arcmaiden in the first place? like, considering they seem to be such a rarepair and all, what made u think of them being together??

thank you so much shelbs!! ❤❤❤ i slept for like. i don’t even know how long yesterday - at least seven hours?? just right in the middle of the day. and then ALSO for a full night, too, but the good news is i’m feeling much better :D

OH MY GOSH i’m always down to talk about this because iirc it was definitely my fault that arcmaiden even became a thing-to-be-shipped,, ahaha (also this got super long and out of hand, but i just. i love talking about this because it’s SO FUN)

so! what happened was this: @evaceratops​ has this really fun and wild afterlife AU she’s been letting me run around in since i made her tell me all about it. it’s called star shield (ssau for short) and it’s a clusterfuck of all of our favs running around in the afterlife wrecking havoc and going about righting the wrongs of their pasts… i’m definitely not doing it justice, sorry eva kdhdfj

and eva asked for my help for creating the handmaidens’ personalities - just sabé, rabé, and eirtaé, because they’re easiest to tell apart - and i suggested that since rabé and eirtaé don’t look like padmé at all, they probably were highly skilled in other, just as useful ways. sabé is the main decoy, and it was fun coming up with other skills necessary for the handmaidens! so we decided eirtaé is basically a human lie detector, a skilled engineer, and speaks a myriad of languages; and rabé is the combat and weapons expert with a heart of pure golden sunshine who doesn’t like actually fighting but adores sparring.

we started plugging them into ssau, trying to figure out how they would interact with everyone (sabé hates anakin with a burning passion; eirtaé and echo get along surprisingly well; and, of course, rabé gets along with fives very well). like padmé, the handmaiden trio is very, very tiny (eirtaé’s the tallest out of all of them at a whooping 5′4″), but this is part of their tactic. their point is to be unassuming, nonthreatening; for people not to be wary of them because of their size.

eva and i throw scenarios at each other all the time, and one day we were talking about how rabé could probably take down the clones in a sparring match - she’s an expert and has surprise on her side - and out of all the clones, fives was the one who we deemed cocky enough to even try. he challenges her, loses spectacularly, and falls a little bit in love, because rabé is a sweetheart who can kick his ass. (and he’s more into it than he’d like to admit)

TL;DR, eva took a screen of the very first moment we started shipping arcmaiden and yet i still felt the need to infodump ^^; and multiple one-shots, art, and a massive in-progress slow burn fic later…