#probably just need to join a beta reader group

[endeavornetwork]

I ask because, for years, I've had a habit of finishing long works and just letting them sit in the folder. I haven't ever sat down and really edited them for structure, content, or pacing. Sometimes, I read bits and fix grammatical errors.

[polaroidpascal]

paradise city || joel miller

AO3 || MASTERLIST || FREE PALESTINE

pairing : guitarist!joel x f!reader

summary : when you and your friends go out to a bar to see a local band gig, you can’t help but notice how the guitarist’s eyes somehow keep finding you in the crowd.

tags : M-18+, no use of y/n, no outbreak AU, i imagine joel is in his early 40s, no age gap mentioned, mention of reader’s breakup, mentions of alcohol consumption, joel starts off a little shy but truly there ain’t nothing shy about this man, size kink (kinda?? a little bit??) oral (f! and m! receiving), unprotected p in v sex, dom!joel, joel gets a little possessive (you’ll see what i mean…), praise kink, squirting, multiple orgasms, creampie, aftercare ofc

fic playlist : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0afpHjoOFylI01OTbV5jol

(picture joel playing during the guitar solos in every single one of these songs 😁)

WC : 7.9k… (no one look at me. not a single soul.)

a/n : 100 FOLLOWER SPECIAL !! i apologize in advance for all the song lyrics i’ve scattered in this fic… i opted to make a playlist of the songs i think joel’s band would play but there were just too many good ones to pass up and i was losing it a little bit 🫠 also, shoutout to @joelsdagger for constantly yapping with me about this idea and letting me tease her about this absolute menace of a man and also @haileymorelikestupid for beta reading for me 🥹😭 it feels extremely fitting to post a joel fic on international women’s day where he fucks you so good, so i hope y’all enjoy !! <3

You and your friends have had a week. 

Deciding you all needed a night to let loose and have fun together, your friend Erica found out about this place hosting a local rock cover band called Fetters Whiskey and thought it might be nice to come see them.

Earlier, you had all piled into the Uber and were headed out, a low girly chatter filling the car. The three in the back harped on about their spouses and all the little things that annoyed them. 

“He left the dishes in the drying rack!” “She helped me clean a little too well and used all the cleaner, now we’re all out!”

The complaining did help them destress a bit.

You and Erica were in the second row captain’s chairs of the car, the three in the back doing their pregame de-stressing. “Makes you rethink the whole marriage fantasy, huh?” she jokes, looking over at you playing with the rings on your fingers. 

You look up and breathe a laugh. “Yeah, I guess so,” you say with a weak smile.

“Well… have you had any luck finding anyone?” she asks sweetly, sincerely. Genuinely hoping someone has caught your eye.

You had a pretty nasty breakup a while ago, probably about eight months by now. You two had been dating for a while and the breakup honestly seemed to come out of nowhere, like some switch flipped one day and nothing was really the same. Your friends stuck by you through every up and down you had. You felt really lucky to have them.

“No. not yet,” you tell her.

“Well, maybe tonight’s your night,” she says with a friendly smile. “You deserve to unwind and let loose a little, y’know what I mean?” You breathe another laugh. “You do!” she exclaims, hitting your shoulder.

“Yeah, well, I guess we’ll see,” you say, the rest of the car ride seeming to fly by, a part of you kinda hoping she’s right.

The bar is crowded. 

You walk in, snaking the group between the crowd and making your way near the stage towards the back of the bar, men and women alike all brushing bodies the closer you get to the stage, drinks in hand, friends chattering away, everyone waiting for the show. 

Two of your coworkers disappear to fetch everyone a drink while you and the others stake claim on a little area near the stage. A couple of guys are on the stage setting up the instruments and making sure everything is plugged in right, the lights dimmed enough to not really draw much attention to them. It’s not long before the others join them on stage and start playing. The girls return just in time, handing out the drinks as the music starts.

The band is pretty good (you’re not sure what you were expecting, but you’re more than pleased with how good they sound). They play some fan favorites like Wanted Dead or Alive and I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll, and they mix in some random fun songs like Play That Funky Music. 

The drummer is clearly in his own world, head moving at a velocity you would think could give him whiplash. And he’s absolutely killing it, hitting every beat with fervor. You can feel the strikes of the sticks on his drums in the center of your chest. 

Another guy seems to be the swiss army knife musician: pretty good at almost everything, filling in wherever he’s needed depending on the song. One minute, he’s playing his keyboard and the next, he’s busting out a trumpet, and the next, he’s busting out a guitar. And no matter what he’s playing, he’s playing it with passion. 

The lead singer clearly loves all of the attention he gets. He’s feeding off the crowd’s energy like a cat lounging in the sunlight, basking in every cheer and whistle and fist pumping in the air from the crowd. He practically lives at the edge of the stage, crouching down to sing with the girls but backing up to sing and dance with his bandmates too, bringing them in on some of the harmonies and tying the whole show together.

But by far the unsung hero of this group is the lead guitarist. He hides off to the corner, leg posted up on his amp with the body of his guitar resting slightly on his thigh. He looks down at the instrument carefully watching his fingers strum each cord perfectly, furrowing his brow in concentration during his solos and lifting his head up to the sky. He looks like he feels every note in his blood, expressing it through the expert strum of his fingertips on the strings. He doesn’t have a mic and the singer doesn’t make him sing alongside him very much, but you catch him mouthing all the words and getting into the singing as well. 

He’s a particularly pretty man and your eyes linger on him more than the others, always finding their way back to him, and always during the more raunchy lines of the different songs…

Well, I am imagining // A dark lit place // Or your place on my place

I’ma paint his town red // Then paint his wife white

But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears // By now, no doubt we’re heading south // I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth

…but who can blame you when he has such a reserved, cool vibe. Plus, did you mention that he’s really pretty too?

And maybe it’s the couple of drinks getting to you more than you thought, or maybe you’re just crazy, but it seems like every time you look at him, he’s looking away from you. Like he’d been staring and you caught him. You swear he starts to look ever so slightly more flushed, but it’s practically impossible to see with the colored lights flooding the scene. No, you think, that’s crazy. You’re standing in a crowd of people, there’s no way he—

“Hey, I think the guy on lead guitar keeps checking you out!” Erica exclaims over the loud music and singing crowd.

You turn and look at her, eyebrows raised before you turn back to the stage. He does it again, averting his gaze the second he sees you look and you feel a flutter in your chest. He really is checking me out, huh?

You keep staring at him, waiting for him to look back in hopes that you’re looking away. When he lets his eyes wander back to you, you’re still staring. This time, though, he doesn’t look away. His eyes won’t let him now that you’ve caught his attention — like a fly in a spider web.

He turns his body ever so slightly, facing your direction more than anyone else as he plays the rest of the song. The lights focus on him, colorful spotlights of red and blue illuminating his face as he positively shreds his guitar solo. His fingers expertly tap dance across the neck of his guitar, his other hand working double time to strum on beat and hit every single note. You watch in a complete daze as he finishes, sealing off his musical escapade with the smuggest wink right to you.

He put on a show. All just for you.

Something stirs in your belly, a low heat kindling as the band continues to play. Their next song — god, their next song… — really puts the icing on the cake.

The jack of all trades band member busts out a sound board, the sampled sound of a snare drum filling the space, a warped, funky-sounding instrumental following.

You let me violate you // You let me desecrate you // You let me penetrate you // You let me complicate you

The guitarist shares a mic with the guy on the sound board, offering back-up vocals for the song. He’s getting a little bold now, you think.

I broke apart my insides // (Help me) I’ve got no soul to sell // (Help me) the only thing that works for me // Help me get away from myself

He’s locked eyes with you the whole time, changing the tides of who is winning this staring battle for dominance. Each second his gaze stays on you, you feel smaller and smaller, completely at his mercy. He backs away from the mic, preparing to play and licking his lips in a manner obviously made to make you even dizzier than you already are.

I wanna fuck you like an animal  // I wanna feel you from the inside  // I wanna fuck you like an animal // My whole existence is flawed // You get me closer to God

He glances back at you from his guitar, a smirk decorating his face before he turns to keep playing the song. You’re in a complete daze. He’s clearly won this battle, and you don’t even know what to do with yourself anymore.

You have to have this man.

Erica caught a some of his little show for you, watching him wink at you and the way your features fell to a focused stare at him. “Girl, get a room next time!” she teases and all you can do is smile back.

When the set is over, you and your friends walk back towards the bar, not wanting to leave just yet. You claim a few of the tiny standing tables, again gathered with Erica at one while the other girls try to cluster around another.

“So…” she starts, giving you a look of anticipation.

“So…?”

“What the hell was going on between you and that guitarist?” she asks, her tone of voice high with excitement.

You laugh, looking down and shrugging your shoulders. “I honestly have no idea,” you say, shaking your head and blushing a little thinking about his little performance. “I thought I was crazy until you said something.”

“Well, whatever it was, you should go for him!” she encourages.

“Please,” you scoff and laugh, “you’re ridiculous.”

“No, I’m serious! While you were having your little… whatever you were having, I was watching the whole band, and the other guys weren’t doing what he did. And he didn’t look at anyone else the way he looked at you.”

You stare at her, a blush creeping up on your cheeks and that small fire in your belly growing a little bigger, a little hotter.

Erica looks up over your shoulder, “Oh my gosh, there they are!”

As if on cue, the band walks through one of the back doors. Having just put away their instruments and whatever other equipment they brought. They saunter in, hair wet from the sweat of performing and lifting all their stuff back into their van. Trailing behind the rest is that damn guitarist. He scans the crowd before he sees you, his expression opening with a bit of an urgency as he quickly finds the bar to grab a beer.

You turn back to Erica, mouth dry and nervous. “Please, you have to go talk to him,” she practically begs.

“No, I- I can’t. I don’t even know what to say,” you plead. “I’m so out of practice.”

“Oh, quit it. I saw you looking at him first. You had him going before he got bold with you. You still have game, go get that man!” she says.

“I don’t know, Erica—” you start, but youre quickly caught off by a tap to your shoulder. You turn around and it’s him.

“Hi,” you say, desperately trying to hide the nerves threatening your vocal chords and smile genuinely at him.

“Hi there,” he says. God, his voice is so deep. You couldn’t hear it in all of its beauty before, but it has a bass to it that rumbles in your bones.

You stare blankly at him for a second before you finally pipe up, “Um, that was a good set you guys played.”

“Thank you,” he chuckles, looking down at his beer and leaning against the edge of the table.

Erica watches with wide eyes before announcing, “Well, I’m empty. I’m gonna go get a refill, okay?” She winks as she walks away leaving you and this mysterious guitarist alone together.

You turn your gaze back to him and fully take in his features now. His eyes have their own glow to them that persists even with the dim stage lights littered around this bar. His hair is patchy from sweat but still sits pretty. His strong features demand your eyes and you’re unable to look anywhere but him.

He extends his hand out to you, “Name’s Joel.”

“Hi, Joel,” you say, shaking his hand and telling him your name. He echoes it and it sounds beautiful off his tongue. “Listen, I--”

“Y’know, you’ve got one of those faces that stands out in a crowd, anyone ever told you that?”

You shake your head, “No, not necessarily.”

“Well trust me, we’ve played our share of shows and none of them had a pretty girl like you in the audience catchin’ my eye every two seconds.”

You blush, starting to gather your mind back from the sudden thrust into a conversation with who you think might be the prettiest man you’ve ever seen in your life now that you’ve had time to really study his features up close. “You’re no different yourself,” you offer.

“How so?”

“I’m just saying, you’d think the prettiest member would be the one front and center, not tucked in a corner by an amp.”

His eyes bounce back and forth between your own not breaking contact as he takes another sip of his beer. “I don’t want just anyone lookin’ my way, I guess. You gotta work to see this pretty face.”

“Pretty, indeed,” you agree, stepping ever so slightly closer to him. “You put on quite a show up there.”

He leans down just a bit, closing the gap between the two of you even more, “Well, I did have quite the eager audience, didn’t I?” he asks.

You stare at each other for a moment before Joel starts, never breaking eye contact, “Listen, I don’t really do this… but I also don’t get distracted like I did tonight…”

You inch closer to him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah… your friends bring you here?” he asks and you glance at the other table where Erica lingers around your other friends and they’re all looking your way, trying not to be obvious and failing miserably.

“No, we took an Uber.”

“Well, what do you say to savin’ that money you’d pay for an Uber and lettin’ me take you home instead?”

Am I really gonna do this?, you think. Call it a gut feeling or whatever you may want, but the way Joel is looking at you, the way he put on a show just for you, how he spotted you in the crowd to strike up a conversation… Erica did say I need to unwind and let loose…

You grin back at him, “Whose home are we talking about?” you ask.

“I think you know, darlin’,” his tone drops low and deep.

A shiver runs up your spine, that ever-growing fire in your belly burning hotter and hotter. “Come on,” he says, taking your hand in his, making it look miniscule in comparison, and walks you towards the back door he came through earlier. You glance back to the bar, the girls still watching and Erica flashing you a smile and a thumb’s up.

Joel leads you to his truck, opening the passenger door for you. You see the backseat loaded with what must be his personal equipment before his door creaks open and he sits inside, the whole truck bobbing from the sheer size of this man.

He pulls you closer across the bench seat until your legs are touching, his hand snaking around your waist as you relax against his figure and his hands trace your sides.

“I meant what I said, y’know. That you stand out in a crowd.”

You turn to look at him as he quickly glances at you and you slowly bring your arms up, one landing behind his neck while the other cups his face. You slowly, softly, tenderly kiss the spot where his jaw meets his neck leaving open mouth kisses all over. He tilts his head to the side just a little, humming at the feeling and settling his hand right at the swell of your hip, pulling you even closer into his side and squeezing just a bit.

The drive isn’t long at all. He pulls into a parking spot lining the side of the road and once the car is safely in park, he grabs your face with both hands, kissing you deeply. You hum into his mouth, not expecting the sudden movement, and melt into his lips. His soft, warm lips. Your hands trace his body, the two of you unable to get where you want to be from sitting in this truck.

You pull away from him. “Take me inside.”

He immediately leaves the truck urging you to hop out on his side, offering a hand to help you out but not letting go even typing the code for his apartment and after you walk through the door.

You giggle as he pulls you up the stairs of his complex, the two of you itching to have your hands all over one another. You reach the top and he twirls you around in his grip, grabbing you with one hand by the hip and the other cradling the back of your head. He kisses you with an insatiable hunger, like his life absolutely depends on it, as he backs you up until you’re pinned to the door with his entire body pressed against you. 

He fumbles with his keys for the lock to his apartment door, lips locked onto you, eyes closed, lost in the soft sweetness of your lips. He snakes a hand behind the curve of your back to brace you as the door swings open and he pushes you inside.

Your hands tangle in his hair grabbing the soft, damp strands unable to pull him any closer but wanting every inch of him in your mouth, on your lips, practically in your skin. You bite his lower lip making him moan a little into your mouth and your hands reach around to his face, wanting to stay lost in the ocean of his tongue and cheeks forever.

He pulls you back and you whine, already missing the warmth and taste of his tongue, but your disappointment is short lived. “God, darlin’… Need to have you.” he says, voice low and completely feral as he grabs you under the swell of your ass and you jump into his embrace. Your hands wander back up to his hair, pulling and grabbing as he trails his kisses down your chin, your jaw, your neck, soft sounds escaping his lips with every tug and whimper you give him.

His legs mindlessly take him to his bedroom, knowing the pathway instinctively. His mouth leaves your body for just a moment when plops you down at the edge of the bed, but he’s right back on you in an instant, reaching down to the hem of your top. You lift your arms for him to pull it off and he removes it in one fluid motion. He moves his hands to the clasp of your bra next. “This okay?”

Your chest aches with these little moments of tender sweetness from him and you nod, letting him remove your bra and he does so with skill, not fumbling for even a second as he tosses it to the floor.

His eyes immediately dart down, taking you in. He’s all but drooling, his gaze burning hot against your skin. He sinks to his knees taking one tit in his mouth and sucking on your nipple. Your hands immediately run through his hair holding him onto you and humming at the feel of his mouth on you. His other hand grabs your other tit, massaging it and thumbing your growing bud before redirecting his mouth to the other side too.

His hands drop to your sides and run up along your ribcage trailing towards your back, closing you in and burying his face into your neck peppering kisses and licks and nips there. 

“I gotta have you, baby…” he mutters into your neck. “Lay back on my pillows up there.”

You do as you’re told, lounging against his pillows and the headboard of the bed as he pulls his shirt off over his head and crawls up to meet you, hooking his hands in the belt loops of your jeans. He looks up, his gaze silently asking for permission and you nod. He pulls them down along with your panties in one smooth motion.  

You didn’t think about how worked up you had gotten until your hot core, slick with your arousal, meets the cool air of the room sending a chill across your skin. You watch as Joel’s eyes widen slightly at the sight of you, subconsciously licking his lips and softly grunting at the thought of diving in.

You open your legs wider, inviting him in and he settles between your legs, his arms hooking under your thighs locking you right where he wants you, all spread and open for him.

He immediately gets to work, unable to hold back anymore and expertly licks through your folds. His warm, wet tongue feels amazing on you as it dances across every nerve ending down there, each one sending fireworks across your skin. You whine and lean back, lifting your hips up to meet his mouth and squirming under his face.

His hands gently rub your thighs while he drinks you down, his nose occasionally hitting your clit making you whine. He draws flattened circles with his tongue, the surface area hitting you just right. 

“Yes… fuck yes, that feels so good…” you moan.

He moans back, unwilling to leave you for even a moment and he keeps going. One hand falls from your thigh and you keep yourself open for him as best as you can when you feel his thick, calloused fingers teasing your entrance. He slides his middle finger in easily, so he adds his ring finger too, curling up and finding the softest parts of you. But God, are his fingers huge.

Your walls constrict squeezing his fingers and you leak more slick all over his palm. His other fingers flay across your lips and ass, gripping you slightly and he’s got you locked down. 

His tongue continues at your clit while his fingers pump in and out of you, the tips curling up and stroking you perfectly. 

“Right there, Joel�� right there… don’t stop… please, don’t stop…” You feel yourself getting closer and closer, the flame burning in your belly all night erupting into a wildfire and igniting every inch of your skin. You feel a tightness start to grow in your belly, inching down your insides as he keeps going, and going, and going, never letting up and reveling in each twitch of your body.

You look up and see him lying flat, his hips subconsciously moving against his boxers and jeans and sheets, getting himself off just from your taste. Finally, he opens his eyes, dark with lust and locks his gaze with you with one especially deep push and curl of his fingers and another wink. That fucking wink. 

“Fuck… fuck…!” It sends you over the edge. The coil snaps and a warm flood fills your body spilling out onto Joel’s hand and into his waiting mouth. He grunts and whines, his tongue never stopping, not even for a second, as he drinks every ounce of your slick getting drunk on your juices.

He only pulls away when you pull him off by his hair, a single line if your arousal still connecting him to you and a groan leaving his lips as he lets you go. You fall back onto the pillow, legs collapsing from their own weight and twitching from your orgasm, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath.

Joel sits up licking his palm and bringing his fingers up to your mouth, jaw slacked and panting. Your mouth closes around his fingers and he groans, “That’s it, good girl,” he coos and you hum around his digits.

When you fully come back down to Earth, you can’t help but chuckle in the afterglow of your orgasm. Joel rests on his heels gently stroking your knees and you cover your eyes with your forearm, one big sigh leaving your lips. “I guess I should have expected a guitar player to have some skilled fingers,” you joke and Joel chuckles. “That was so fucking good.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not done with you just yet, pretty girl,” Joel teases, holding out his hand to help you sit up. You do and he meets you with a sweet kiss, his hands cupping almost all of your face as he kisses you sweetly.

When he pulls away and you open your eyes, you notice another amp sitting in the corner of the room. This one looks old, unused, and the cable management could use some work, to say the least.

Joel follows your eyeline. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

“That’s a lot of cables for a little speaker like that,” you say, following the tangled mess of wires scattered on the floor. “Why don’t you use that one?”

“Jus’ got old. Bought a new one and I didnt need it anymore.”

A depraved idea pops in your head and the question leaves your lips before you can even fully think it through. “Those wires… how strong do you think they are?”

Joel looks back at your face, eyebrow cocked up slightly, “What d'ya mean?”

Your bashfulness catches up quick, a shy blush pricking your cheeks. “I mean… just the outside looks braided, almost… it kinda looks like… I don’t know, kinda like a rope…”

His face softens, a look of intrigue spreading across his gaze. “Go on,” he says, his voice dropping impossibly low, dripping with sultry tease.

You look up through your lashes feeling more vulnerable that you have to ask specifically (he seems to love it, though). “Well… I guess, how well do you think they’d hold a knot…?”

He bites back a smirk but can’t quite hide his excitement. “Kinky…” he says with a little nod. “I like it.”

He rises from the bed but he doesn’t turn to grab the wires. Instead, he reaches for his belt, the buckle clinking against itself. “But you gotta earn it first, sweet girl.” He pulls his belt out of the loops of his jeans and tosses it to the side. 

He pauses a second before reaching for the button and zipper, enough time for you to crawl to the foot of the bed and rest your hands on his. You slowly move them away and take over, undoing his button and slowly zipping his pants apart. 

You reach under his groin cupping his covered balls in your hand and he hums. He barely fits in your palm and you salivate at what could be beneath those boxers of his. You look up at him with another gentle squeeze before pulling both down, his cock springing out and up against his lower tummy as he steps out of his pants, the tip already red and leaking.

Your eyes widen when you really take in his size and you salivate. You wrap your hand around him and very slowly pump his length, getting a feel for his size and weight and staring at him the whole time.

He looks down at you, eyes still dark and mouth slightly open. “Go ‘head, baby. Kiss it.”

You feel a flutter in your belly again already and you do as he says, kissing the slit before taking the whole head into your mouth and circling your tongue around it. His eyes roll back and he lifts his head up to the ceiling with a groan, his hand tangling in the hair at the back of your head.

You slowly take him inch by inch making him slick with your spit and using your hand to pump whatever you cant reach. Your other hand gently squeezes his balls and you feel his grip on your hair tighten a bit.

“That’s it, baby… Mouth feels so good f’me…” He starts to slowly push you down his length, taking him deeper and deeper and being careful not to get ahead of himself. 

But then you moan around his length sending lightning up his spine and it feels so fucking good… A guttural groan booms from his chest and he starts to slip, pushing you a little too far a little too fast and you gag, pulling off until it just rests on your bottom lip, spit gathering at his tip and spilling over the corners of your mouth. 

Tears prick the sides of your eyes and his hand reaches down to wipe them away. “Shit— I’m sorry… are you alright?”

You cough and catch your breath, something new and hot burning through your veins. Something about the way he lost all control… “It’s okay, I’m okay,” you say when you pull yourself together a little bit. You wipe the corners of your mouth and reach up to slowly pump his length again. “Let me try again.”

“You sure, darlin’?”

“I’m sure,” you say, looking up through your tear-soaked lashes, a small smile ghosting your lips as you nod. 

He nods back and you take him in your mouth again, closing your eyes and breathing through it, trying to focus on taking as much of him down your throat as you can.

His hands find the back of your head again, not pushing anymore but tangling through your hair as you work.

He looks down and sees your eyes closed, brow furrowed in concentration and taking him so well. He drops a hand back down to your jaw, “Eyes on me, gorgeous.”

You carefully open your eyes to look up at him and when you do, his brows furrow with desperation, unable to look away from you as you bob up and down his length, hands once again pumping the length you can’t reach and massaging his balls.

“Shit, baby… that’s it…” he moans, watching the way your cheeks hollow and lips flush red from taking him. He’s twitching in your mouth and you think you’ve got him, flattening your tongue when he touches the back of your throat and swirling up his length as you pull back.

His abs start to tighten and you taste the slightly salty precum leaking from his tip. You work up the nerve to suppress your gag reflex as best you can, taking a few deep breathes before pushing yourself all the way down, taking his cock up to the hilt.

You stay there, letting your protesting throat constrict around him and he whines, his hand in your hair tightening and making you moan, another bolt of lightning taking over his entire being. His cock jumps in your throat and you think he’s a goner for sure—

He pulls you off his length completely and you gasp for air while he catches his breath too. “Nuh uh, baby. It can’t be over yet,” he says breathlessly.

You pout up at him, your doe eyes almost black from how blown your pupils are.

“Get back on the bed,” he demands.

So you do, rising a little wobbly from your knees and crawling back up onto the bed. Joel walks to the corner of the room and unplugs some of the cords plugged into the old amp. 

He digs around in his nightstand and pulls out a condom before walking back over to the bed where you’re kneeling on the mattress. He sees you eyeing the little packet pinched between his fingers. “What’s th’ matter?”

You look at him, a blush forming on your face. “Oh, I…” Your mouth goes dry and you clear your throat. “…um, you don’t— I mean, I’m on the pill so, um… If you don’t wanna…” you ramble, trying to find your words but failing in your shyness.

He smiles smugly, tossing the condom to the side. “’S okay. I hear you loud and clear.”

You take a relieved breath and watch him stand there as he starts separating the wires. He twirls his finger in the air and you turn your body to face away from him.

“Gimme your hands, darling,” he says, firmly but gently.

You obey, reaching your hands behind your back. His giant hand easily fits both in one grip and he wraps one cable around your wrists.

You can’t help but smile to yourself, facing away from Joel so he can’t see, but you’re sure it’s audibly obvious when you ask “So this must be where the band name came from then, hm?” as he ties a comfortable knot around your wrists.

“What d’ya mean?”

“Fetters. Like restraints. Usually they’re on the ankles but I guess it’s the same principle.”

He breathes a laugh. “I mean, I didn’t help with the name all that much, but I guess ya’ really do learn somethin’ new every day,” he says just as he tightens the loose, but still restrictive, knot around your wrists.

You shimmy in them a little, surprised at how well they hold together. His hands are still there, rubbing over the covering of the cords and brushing against the warmth of your skin.

“These look real pretty on you, y’know,” he mutters from behind you.

You chuckle and ask, “You tell all the groupies that?”

He grabs your chin to face him, eyes scanning over your face for a second and planting a kiss to your lips before a positively devious smirk spreads across his face. Before you know it, he puts his hand on your back gently pushing down so your chest hits the bed. 

“No, I don’t,” he says and you hear his footsteps fade. You sit there, face pressed against the mattress and ass in the air, desperately trying to crane your neck to see where in the world he’s going leaving you like this, all out in the open and exposed.

He treads back into the room and climbs back onto the bed right behind you, calves brushing up against the inside of your own as he grabs your hips to straighten them.

“I don’t tell the groupies nothin’,” he starts. “Usually jus’ ask if they want an autograph.”

The unmistakable click of a Sharpie cap rings in your ears and you feel the cold tip of the pen dragging along the skin right below the small of your back. You gasp, surprised at the unexpected feeling, completely shocked at the sheer audacity of this man, and you can’t help the butterflies it gives you, the way you mewl so quietly at the thought of him marking you with his name — his signature, no less — in such an intimate place.

You need to find a way to keep this man.

The pen trails off at the end and he recaps the marker, tossing it somewhere to the side before you feel his hands smoothing over your hips. He lets out a low toned, one-note whistle at you, staring at the dark ink branding your lower back. “Now, what a pretty view I have,” he says, a tantalizing, saccharine sweet tone lacing his words.

You can’t hold back the whimper that falls from your mouth at his teasing, his big warm hands rubbing big circles over each cheek. 

He sees you clenching around nothing. “Want me to fuck you now, sweet girl?”

“Yes, please,” you whine, earning you a light tap on your ass.

He pulls on the cords and wraps an arm around your torso, bringing you up flush to his torso and reaching a hand to your mouth. “Gimme some help.”

You spit into his hand and he hums in content. “Atta girl,” he says, gently laying you back down and pumping his length with the wetness. You feel the tip of his cock rub against your folds and you squirm. He grabs your hip with his free hand as he lines himself up to notch right at your entrance. He slowly pushes just the tip in, the pressure making you moan.

“I gotcha, baby. Jus’ relax f’me,” he coos, pushing inch by inch into you letting you adjust to his size. Your walls twitch at the intrusion and your breathing gets heavier, soft sounds escaping your lips. Eventually, he’s up to the hilt and you swear you can feel him in your lungs. You subconsciously swirl your hips, the movement inside making you whine.

“Shit, baby… so fuckin’ tight…” Joel breathes, squeezing your hips and trying not to lose his cool too quickly. His cock bounces and he grunts, taking a minute before slowly pulling out of you as you whine at the loss. It’s short lived, though, because he’s immediately pushing back into you, the stretch and burn pulling a desperate groan from your throat. 

“Fuck yeah, baby. You like how that feels?” he moans, picking up the pace slightly with each thrust. 

“Yes— fuck, feels so good…” you moan. The way his cock drags along your walls makes your belly burn hot. His grip on your hips tight and threatening to bruise if he squeezes any harder, but you couldn’t care less. Just another way for him to mark you as his.

“Squeezin’ my cock so good… she’s achin’, baby…” He’s very talkative, you think and decide to play into it. 

“She’s all yours, Joel. Pussy belongs to you,” you say as you squeeze him again, the pressure in your belly growing with each gentle kiss to your cervix that his tip gives you. 

You feel his pace falter for a second, his grip tightening at that. “Yeah? Say it again. Who’s she belong to?” he says, pounding into you now, unable to keep control of his pace anymore.

You whine loudly with one of his thrusts when he drags up a bit hitting something new inside of you, something your ex surely hadn’t ever found before. Something you definitely had on your own but never this deep…

“Theeere it is,” he coos, pressing your torso down some more to get the angle just right and he’s hitting that soft, spongy part of you with every snap of his hips. You can barely form the words to tell him how fucking good it feels, nonsense whimpers leaving your mouth instead.

“Answer me, baby… Belongs to who?” His pace doesn’t let up and you can’t get the words out. “C’mon, you can do it, gorgeous… tell me…” he insists, slowly rubbing his hand across his own signature that’s been staring back at him.

“Sh… fuck, oh my god… she belongs to you, Joel…”

“That’s my good girl,” he says, leaning down and planting kisses down your spine, snaking a hand around to your front and circling your clit.

You cry out in pleasure, all the sensations getting to be too much. A flood of wetness spills out with a twitch of your insides making Joel’s cock slippery, letting him push in and pull out easier than before. He picks up his pace again with ease, rapidly hurdling you towards the edge.

My good girl…

That one little word finally hits you after a minute. 

My.

His unrelenting fingers on your clit… the way his tip hits your cervix with every snap of his hips… my good girl… it’s all too much. “Fuck… fuck… fuck, ‘mgonnacome…” you mumble in a high pitched whine.

“Fuck yes, baby… come all over my cock, that’s it… feels so fuckin’ good, darlin’…” he moans from behind you, the grip on your hips definitely bruising now as he keeps pounding into you. Your back arches and your whole body writhes as your walls squeeze him impossibly tight. Your vision blurs and you have no control over the downright pornographic sounds escaping your mouth. All you feel is warmth everywhere.

“Holy shit—” you hear Joel but he sounds far away, your head still spinning with pleasure. “Fuckin’ hell, baby…” When you feel like you can finally see again, you see a wet spot on the bed and your eyes go wide, quickly craning your head around as best you can and see Joel’s thighs soaked from you.

“Oh, shit— I-I’m sorry, oh my fucking god, I didn’t meant—” you stop mid sentence when Joel plows into you again bottoming out completely, your words trailing off into a wailing moan.

He drags out slowly but quickly regains his momentum. “Fuck, baby… Chokin’ my dick so good… So. Fucking. Hot,” he says, punctuating his words with the slap of his hips on your ass.

Your legs start to give out under you and it’s like Joel already knows you’re almost too gone to take anymore as he unties the knot at your wrists, your arms falling to the bed. He flips you over, managing to stay inside, and lays you on your back. Your hair lays messily on the pillow and Joel leans down to fix it, tracing his fingers along the side of your face and kissing you deeply.

When he pulls away, he stares at your fucked-out eyes, his own completely taken over by his pupils so much that you can barely tell what color they actually are anymore. “Baby, you gotta give me one more…” he begs.

You raise your eyebrows worriedly, unsure if you can actually take anymore. You whine at his ask and he gives you another quick kiss, resting his forehead against your own when he pulls away, your lips barely touching. He’s moving in and out of you at a snail’s pace, so close to his own orgasm that any extra movement would cause him to snap. “Please, baby, I know you can do it. Doin’ so good for me already, just one more…”

You nod weakly and stare through hooded eyes. “Thank you, angel,” he sighs, gently fucking into you a little quicker and peppering kisses at the corners of your mouth. Your hands trail up to his shoulders rubbing up and down on his soft skin. Forehead pressed to yours again, you feel him panting, small moans and whimpers filling your ears.

“Feel so good…” you use all your strength to whimper out, barely above a whisper. His eyes open, brows furrowed in desperation. You feel him twitching hard now, so close to his own orgasm but not wanting this to end.

“S’good, Joel… so big…” He whimpers at your words, his hips moving erratically, unpredictably. He’s close, you think. And it eggs you on.

“Want you to come for me… Please…”

“Yeah? You want it?” he breathes. 

“Please…” you say again in a whimper, grabbing his face in your hands.

“Where, baby? Want it inside?”

“Yes, inside… please, please, please…” you beg.

“Come with me baby… wanna feel you squeezin’ me… fuck— c-can you do that?”

You whine and nod, having been teetering on the edge of overstimulation with another orgasm growing in your belly. You roll your hips slightly into him, the extra movement sending shivers down your spine.

“So close, baby, I can feel it… ‘s right there, she’s chokin’ me…” he grunts out, painfully holding back his own until you come undone under him again.

Which doesn’t take long, a flutter of your heart and one big wave of arousal covering you from head to toe making you see stars. Your mouth opens in a silent moan, unable to even make a sound as you come on his length all over again.

“Fuck… fuck… good girl, ‘m gonna come—”

Joel’s breathing quickens, becoming ragged and broken as he grunts and whines and spills inside of you. His lips press to your forehead suppressing his noises with kisses there as he empties himself inside of you, filling you up completely.

Your hands scrape his back at his shoulders, your senses all blurring into one another. Joel’s weight falls on top of you as he moves his kisses down from your forehead to your nose and finally to your lips, his tongue licking into you as you feel his cock finally stop twitching. He sits back to pull out of you watching as his cum leaks out of you. You whine at the loss feeling empty but still so full from him, shivering as you feel it dripping down your body.

Joel wipes his sweat-ridden brow and sighs with a goofy smile as he looks down at you. Your body is still jolting from your last orgasm. Any more and you would have been overstimulated beyond belief.

“Now that I definitely don’t do with the groupies, sweetheart,” he teases.

You give him a playful glare and chuckle at him. “What about all that autograph nonsense, then?”

“Well, you got the first of its kind. Never signed anyone there before.”

You blush and stretch a little, suddenly feeling that damp spot from earlier. You sit up in panic and sit back leaning against his pillows again. “Shit, Joel. I’m so sorry. That’s never happened before, I—”

“Stop,” he cuts you off. “Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry for. Sheets can be washed.”

“But I made a mess—”

“C’mere, baby,” he says, extending a hand out to you. You take it and he pulls you towards him, both of you on your knees facing each other as his arm snakes around your torso pulling you even closer into him. “‘M gonna get you cleaned up, ‘kay? Got a spare bedroom we can use anyway.”

You stare into his eyes, his words bouncing around in your head. We can use. “We?” you ask.

He scrunches his eyebrows, raising one at you. “What, you wanna run away already? Was it that bad?” he jokes.

“Oh, quit,” you say, playfully hitting his shoulder.

“Okay, okay,” he laughs, standing up at the end of the bed and holding his arms out to you. “C’mon, pretty girl, how’s a warm bath sound, hm?”

“Sounds amazing, actually.” You grab his hands and stand up, taking a second to get your balance before following Joel to the bathroom.

When you’re all cleaned up, you walk into his living room wearing one of his t-shirts, a pair of his boxers, and some very oversized socks that he left in the bathroom for you to change into, towel drying the rest of your hair so it's not dripping everywhere. He sits on his couch, fresh pajamas on and dampened hair from the shower he took in the other smaller bathroom.

He taps the space next to him inviting you to sit, TV on and low, playing some random movie he found to fill the silence around him while waiting for you. You curl up into him, you warm from your bath and him warm from relaxing. He squeezes you close, planting a kiss to the top of your head.

Erica was right. You really did need this. Maybe it's stupid that you're growing so fond of this guy and you've known him for just a night, but there really is something about him. Something you can't quite explain...

You spend the rest of the night curled up next to Joel, your entire being content and you can only think one thing:

You’re not letting this one go easily. This one’s gonna be yours.

All yours.

a/n : thank y'all again so much for 100 followers, it means so much seriously 💜🫶🥹 and thank you for reading this fic that absolutely got away from me in the end, this idea tortured me for weeks and hopefully letting him out into the world will give me some peace finally 😭 but really, thank you guys so much and i hope everyone enjoys !!

[tikosblogg]

Can you do something along the lines of the guys aren’t famous and the reader starts college and Meets the guys through the nicks and Noah is a senior in college and you go to a party and you and Noah hook up

Summary: REQUEST

Warning: smut, unprotected piv(please don’t do that), semi public sex(you don’t get caught).

A/N: I hope you enjoy anon, I’m sorry if it’s cheesy af😭 I have a lot going on right now, but I wanted to get this out. Yall please send good vibes my way, your girl could really use it. Still waiting on the news I should be receiving soon. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that it’s good.

The energy of the campus was electric, vibrating with the laughter of students spilling out of dorm rooms, the music pulsating from frat houses, and the sweet smell of late-night smoke sessions lingering in the air. It was Saturday night, and despite being a newcomer, I felt the charm of this vibrant chaos tugging at me. Just a week into my freshman year, I was anxious but excited. Nick, my best friend since childhood, had convinced me to join him for what he called a ��rookie initiation" to campus life.

“Trust me, y/n, you need to experience this!” Nick exclaimed, winking as he led me through the labyrinth of brick buildings and manicured lawns toward The Alpha Sigma Beta house, where the party was already in full swing. That was where I first spotted Noah.

He was hard to miss. He towered over the crowd at a staggering six feet three inches, with tousled brown hair that framed his perfect face and skin entirely adorned with intricate tattoos. Each inked design hinted at a story, a part of his past I found myself curious about, but tonight wasn’t about probing deep into anyone’s history; it was about enjoying the moment.

“Y/n!” Nick’s voice broke through the thrum of bass. “I want you to meet my friends!” He gestured toward a trio huddled at a table stacked with red solo cups. Folio, the energetic one with wild hair, and Jolly, whose laugh was infectious, immediately pulled me into their banter with wide smiles.

“Welcome to the mad house!” Folio shouted, practically bouncing on his toes. “You’re in for a ride tonight.”

As I exchanged pleasantries and settled into the familiar chaos of my first college party, I kept sneaking sidelong glances at Noah. His presence was magnetic, like gravity pulling me toward him in a crowded room. He seemed laid-back as he leaned against the wall, a half-empty cup cradled in his large hand. I wondered what he thought of the evening; his dark brown eyes held secrets as deep as the ocean, and I felt a pull I couldn't explain.

“Don't be shy! Come sit with us!” Jolly called over the music, dragging me toward a makeshift seating area strewn with mismatched lawn chairs. Nick settled next to me, and I found myself increasingly drawn into the whirlwind of laughter and stories.

As the night progressed, shots were downed, and the atmosphere thickened with excitement. Folio attempted to teach me an elaborate dance move that was probably illegal in some states, while Jolly told exaggerated tales of his exploits over the summer. I laughed along, feeling a small part of the group grow more comfortable, and yet I could still feel Noah's gaze cut through the exuberant noise.

By the time I managed to sneak away to the kitchen for some water, I stumbled upon Noah, who leaned casually against the counter, his tattoos glimmering under the fluorescent lights. A muffled bass line formed a backdrop against our unexpected solitude.

"Hey," he said, his voice low and deep, sending a thrill through me. "You’re Nick’s friend, right?"

I smirked as I turned to meet his gaze, slightly flustered. “Guilty as charged. And you must be the infamous Noah.”

“Infamous, huh? I like the sound of that,” he chuckled, running a hand through his messy hair. There was something easy about him, and the way he looked at me made the world outside that cramped kitchen fade into the background. It was just us and the faint glow of the overhead lights.

“I’m still learning the ropes here,” I admitted, feeling a mix of shy and emboldened. “It’s all pretty overwhelming, if I’m honest.”

“I get that. Just take it one party at a time,” he said, stepping a little closer, his eyes now twinkling with mischief.

An electric charge filled the air as I caught the faint scent of his cologne—something earthy and warm that made my knees weak. I reached for my cup of water, only to find it empty. Noah noticed, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a sly grin.

“Can I get you something stronger instead?” he proposed, tilting his head toward the red cups that were now overrunning the counter.

"Just one,” I replied, testing the waters—there was something about the anticipation of this moment that made it feel like we were the only two people in the universe.

As he poured the drinks, we fell into an easy rhythm of conversation. We laughed at the absurdity of frat life, traded stories from our tumultuous school years, and marveled at how different life felt here compared to our respective hometowns. The longer we talked, the more I found myself leaning into him, our chemistry igniting in the cool kitchen that now felt too small for the two of us.

“Let’s get some air,” he suggested, reading the gleam in my eyes. He opened the back door, and suddenly, we stepped outside into a world transformed by moonlight. The music pulsing from the house faded into the background as an acrid breeze swept through the courtyard.

We wandered off to the edge of the yard, away from the thumping bass and the throngs of people. The stars hung low, brighter than I had seen them before, painting the sky with constellations that felt almost within reach. Noah leaned against a tree, his imposing figure softened by the spectral glow above us.

"You know," he began thoughtfully, “there's something nice about nights like this. You meet people, you share stories… it feels timeless.”

I nodded, feeling every word resonate deep within me—like a truth unearthed. “I’ve been waiting for something like this ever since I got here. It’s everything I hoped college would be so far.”

He stepped closer, and my heart raced. “You’re different, y/n.”

“Different how?” I dared to ask, curiosity compounding against the tether of nerves.

“There’s an aura to you... that I can’t put my finger on. You’ve got this spark,” Noah said, his voice a low whisper as he gazed down at me. The way he looked at me sent chill bumps dancing along my skin.

Before I could respond, he took a step forward, lowering his head until our lips nearly touched. Time slowed to a crawl, and I could see the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes as he searched mine. Then, with a deliberate slowness, he closed the gap.

His kiss was electric, igniting a fire that surged through me. I responded instinctively, feeling a rush of warmth enveloping us both, a collision of breaths and uncertainty melting away in that instant. I lost myself in the moment, the weight of the world outside dissipating, leaving only the two of us amid the stars.

As we pulled apart, my laughter filled the night air, a soft, happy sound that echoed into the quiet. He leaned in again, gripping my hips tight.

I gasped against his mouth, the kiss turning passionate as it deepened. I was on fire, limbs igniting with every stroke of his lips. And then, just like that, he pressed me against the oak tree. I could feel the rough bark against my back, grounding me amidst the rush of adrenaline coursing through me.

In one swift motion, he picked me up, and my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. My sun dress, scrunching around my hips. The height difference sent shivers of exhilaration through me as I gazed into his eyes, now alight with a wild, exhilarating energy. I felt both cherished and untouched by the lively party around us, suspended in this magical bubble we’d created.

“Noah,” I breathed, a mix of nervous anticipation and thrill threading my voice. The way he held me, strong yet careful, made me feel untouchable. His hands cradled my thighs, and I could feel the powerful smoothness of muscle beneath the inked stories that adorned his skin.

“You trust me?” His breath was warm against my skin, the promise of adventure sparkling in his gaze. And in that electric moment filled with infinite possibility, I nodded and surrendered to the rush.

As we kissed, the world around us blurred—the laughter, the thumping of bass, the clinking of bottles—it all faded until there was nothing left but the two of us, lost in our own universe. I could feel his hard dick pressing into me, the rhythm of him grinding against my soaked underwear clad core igniting an unparalleled heat inside me. The urgency of it all sent waves of pleasure rolling through, and I could hardly catch my breath.

“Fuck” I murmured against his lips, my head spinning with the sensations, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes.

“I know.” A teasing grin spread across his face, his breath hitching with excitement. “You’re so fuckin pretty.”

I quirked an eyebrow, the thrill of boldness flooding my veins. “you think so?”

“Definitely.” He lowered his voice, close enough for only me to hear. “I wanna feel everything fucking inch of you.”

There was a challenge in his eyes, one that made me want to climb higher and lower myself into the depths of this enchanting night with him. And beneath the oak’s ancient boughs, among rustling leaves and whispers of a sleeping world, I felt a warmth bloom in my chest—a daring desire to unleash the parts of myself that I often kept hidden.

I clung to him tighter, sensing the urgency of the moment. I wanted to taste the thrill of life, to dive deeper into the unknown while being shielded in his embrace. He kissed down my throat, before moving his hand up, and shoving his fingers inside my panties.

I gasped as his middle finger swiped up my slit. “Noah please.” I whined, my head falling back against the tree. He quickly looked around, to make sure we were hidden behind the tree before continuing. He shoved his two middle fingers deep inside me, as he groaned.

“You’re so tight baby.” He nipped at my neck, as he pumped his fingers a little faster. He pulled them out, shoving them into his mouth letting out another moan. “Fuuuuck, I’m definitely eating your pussy later.”

I let out a breathless giggle, as he reached down to his jeans pulling out his impressive length. My eyes widened. “Holy fuck Noah.” I groaned, losing my patience to finally feel him inside me. He smiled, kissing my lips softly. “Shhh I got you baby.”

He lined himself up, slowly pushing in as we moan in unison. After a few soft thrusts of his hips he moved his arms underneath both of my knees spreading me wide open, pushing me harder against the tree. He left one last kiss to my lips, softly biting my lip, as I moaned into his mouth.

He shoved his face into my neck as he thrusted harder, and faster into me. My nails dug into the back of his neck, as I relished in the pleasure he was giving me. “Fuck Noah please…” I gasped.

He pulled his face back, laying his forehead against mine. “You gonna cum baby?” Unable to find my voice, I nodded my head quickly. He let out a breathless chuckle, at my messy state. His lips hovered by my ear, his deep voice softly whispering.

“Then do it…let me feel you.” That was all it took for me to absolutely lose it. I came hard, my thighs shaking in his hands, whimpering his name over and over. “That’s it baby, good girl.” He groaned, as he watched me come undone.

He continued thrusting, chasing his own high. He quickly pulled out, holding me tightly against him as he came all over the tree underneath my still shaking form. After we caught our breath, he pulled me away from the tree gently placing me back onto my feet.

He tucked himself back in, before pulling my dress back down into place. All of sudden I became shy and nervous. “Shit…that was -“ his voice quickly cut me off, as he eyed me hotly. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

I smiled, stepping closer to him, and looking up at him batting my lashes. “I don’t know….you tell me.” He chuckled, placing one last kiss to my lips, before taking my hand walking up back to the party.

[graymanshoots]

Try

FWB!Ghost x GN Reader x pastHookup!Konig

Tags: Hookup,semi public sex, regret, angst, yelling, ginger konig, konig doesn't wear his mask constantly like ghost (Only on the field), vulnerability , crying, arguments,no beta we die like men

Part: 1 - 2

A/n: I finally finished this on two days of no sleep and a missing beta reader. Hope guys enjoy the tad bit of spice at the beginning and as needed 18+.

Seeing the head of ginger hair standing out not only cause of its color but because it belonged to the tallest person in the room, filled your stomach with stones.

The memory of the familiar face shot through your mind like a bolt of lighting igniting your nerves as you tensed next to your teammates.

You were all shipped up and sent to a warehouse a couple of weeks after finding out you’d be working with kortac.

Having arrived days before they had you were granted time to stop for a drink with johnny and kyle. Price didnt join claiming he wanted to be prepared and if price isn't coming neither did ghost much to your benefit.

Maybe if he had come you would be piss drunk with the team probably getting dragged back to the warehouse by the man himself, instead you were barely tipsy with your cheek pressed into the leather seating of a stranger's car.

His broad chest rubbing against your back with each harsh thrust, the car surely visibly shaking on the outside.

You dont even have to guess how fucked you would be if he remembered you and decided to ope his mouth.

You cross your arms over your chest and lean against one of the metal support beams that the building had an abundance of.

Despite your wishful thinking the red headed man's eyes fell on you and you knew he knew.

You were quick to notice the slight quirk in his lip before going stoned face once more.

He introduced himself as “konig” before introducing the rest of his team, his eyes occasionally flicking over to you.

“Fuck sake, this guys huge.” Kyle whispered to you coming around to your side.

Kyle had no idea how true his words were, the phantom feeling of being filled by Konig's thick cock.

You nod in acknowledgement to what Kyle says letting out a sigh, “Laswell described him as a battering ram, yeah” you say.

You don't fail to notice the way Konig eyes you up every chance he gets like he had done in the bar nights prior. When you saw him in the bar he was far more blatant with his staring, his interest apparent as he shifted his stance debating on whether to approach you or not.

Rubbing the sweat built from nervousness off his palms and onto the tight cargo pants he wore he finally came over when the boys were getting another round of drinks to approach you.

The conversation between you two was short as you both seemed to have the same goal in mind: get laid.

After Simon you hadn't slept with anyone else but it was a welcomed gift to feel wanted again.

Konig was definitely someone you found attractive, you wouldn't have had breathy moans pulled from your throat in the back of his car if he wasn't.

But he wasn't simon.

A small piece of you felt guilty while the rest was saying fuck it, ghost ditched you not the other way around.

You mentally return to the conversation when you hear your name being said, you realize price is introducing the team and you give a small acknowledgement, your fingers twitching at your hip.

“Oh, I’m familiar.” König responds to your introduction with quick ease causing your teammates eyes to fall on you. Johnny gave you a knowing look of mischief, his bright blues having seen you with the man before you disappeared from the group.

“Just a brief meeting in a bar, unfortunately I did not stay long enough to meet the rest of you.” He clarifies noticing your subtle glare.

The encounter was anything but brief, you thought to yourself as the conversation was then drawn off of you.

It’s wasn’t until later that you bumped into the behemoth of a man.

“You were so vocal a few nights ago now you walk around quiet as a mouse.” He comments a smirk playing on his uncovered lips.

“You pester all your random hookups?” You retort your lips stretching into a thin line as you looked up at him.

“Just the ones I have to work with, mein Freundin.“ he chuckles ignoring your unamused expression.

“Well if that’s all I’ll be going.” You sigh not wanting to get involved any further.

But as you pass his hand grips your wrist and suddenly your back in front of him with his other hand at your chin.

He forces your head to the side and a smirk comes to his lips as he looks at the newly exposed skin .

“So schön, sie sind wie eine Blume .” And then he’s gone and already halfway down the hallway by the time you gather yourself.

Ghost walking down the opposite side of the hallway having seen the interaction from a distance. His eyes arrow on you and then the retreating redhead.

You let out a huff of frustration when you see him and reluctantly start walking in his direction.

“You two seem close, got anything you want to share?” He questioned you his tone accusatory. After weeks of barely speaking to you he breaks the silence to ask about a personal situation.

“It doesn’t concern you lieutenant.” Your quick to respond but he doesn’t want to take that answer.

“It’s concerns me when it’s involves an enemy and You.” He grumbled crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why do I concern you Ghost? I’m just someone you used to use so fuck off cause I already know what your thinking.” The words come out harsher and more bitter than what you intended. Your frustration and resentment to the man you wish you didn’t love coming out almost full force.

Ghost stiffened at your words, his jaw and fists clenching as you brushed past him.

Once he could no longer hear your steps his entire body deflated his shoulders feeling heavy with shame.

He was being unfair to you and he hated himself for it but he felt so selfishly it was hard to stop.

Ghost adjusted his mask and shook off the guilty feeling that loomed over him before continuing down his path.

You could feel your skin buzzing with irritation, your palms stinging from being squeezed into tight fists. Why did he have to make everything in your life harder every time?

No matter how many steps you take away, ghost manages to still be right on your tail. You found yourself spacing for the rest of the day until your sat across from the same person you didn't want to see again that day.

Ghost sat across from you staring you down as you ate the unappetizing food served in mess.

His gaze was unrelenting; he looked as if he was aching to say something but stopped himself instead opting to tap his finger on the edge of his empty plate idley.

“Y’think Lt’s mad at ye?” Johnny questions quietly from his place beside you. You narrow your eyes at the sergeant, “Why would he be?”

Johnny had this look on his face like he did something he wasn't supposed to as he clicked his teeth and shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“He asked aboot whit we were up to at the pub, an i think i might ‘ave talked ye into some trouble.” he confessed glancing over at simon who was still boring holes into the side of your head.

You didn't have time to retaliate against your teammate for his loose lips before simon was standing from his seat arms crossed. “We need to talk, now.” His tone was sharp, his words spoken in that usual gruff manchester accent.

You sucked your teeth and agreed not wanting to make a scene in the mess hall, mentally you vowed to eventually get johnny back for damning you.

After leaving mess ghost lead you to an unoccupied meeting room shutting the door behind the both of you.

“Looks like you got a type.” Ghost started leaning against the door with his arms crossed.

“Don’t fucking start with me ghost, what i do outside of work is none of your damn business.” you hiss plopping down on one of the many chairs in the room.

“Don't tell me it's not my business when you have a drawer of shit at my apartment.” he retorted, his eyes narrowing on you. His body was tense and his shoulders squared like he needed to move but wouldn't allow himself to.

You could feel your eyes burn as your frustration grew, your fists clenching and unclenching.

“You can throw all the shit away, i don't even know why you still even have it.” you mutter looking down at ghost’s shoes avoiding his glare.

“I kept them because i ca-” you cut ghost off before he could say anymore, “Dont you dare fucking do that to me simon!” you snap meeting his glare with glazed eyes.

Standing from the seat you approached Simon's further tensing figure. “You're a jackass, Simon, y’know why? Because i told you how i fucking felt and you fucking left. Now im living my adult life and you want to act like im your fucking girlfriend or something, let me move on!” you were borderline shouting the frustration bleeding out of your eyes and into your voice.

Simon couldnt hold your gaze anymore he couldn't stand that look in your eyes or the dampness of your cheeks. He could feel the words crawling into the back of his throat but none of them were the right thing.

What could he say to fix this, what could he do when your fury spoke so loudly that he wanted to shrink away.

“I…” he took a breath “Im sorry” his arms hung loosely by his side, fingers tapping rapidly at his palm.

“Sorry doesnt change the fact that you left, then treated me like nothing, and ar now trying to grill me about my sex life when you removed yourself from all of my personal life.”

You wiped your face as your tone came down, the short burst of aggression dying down with it.

“I'm tired simon, I devoted so much to you for so long for it all to end because you cant figure yourself out.” You bring your eye’s down to the ground again before back up at simon.

“You’ve had years of us playing this cat and mouse game, if your still confused, if your still unsure, if you don't want…” Your eyebrows pinch together as you clench your jaw.

“If you don't want me, then why are you here? Why are we even having this conversation if your actions speak your truth, because that's all I have to go off of?” Your question struck Simon and his breath caught in his throat.

He rubbed his face over the mask, the feeling of the fabric suddenly becoming so suffocating.

The rough material rubbed uncomfortably on his skin as he pulled it off his chapped lips parting for a heavy breath.

He disheveled with his messy blonde hair and eye bags that seemed deeper than usual.

“You’ve ruined everything for me…” he starts your eyebrows furrowing at his words.

“Everything in my life is so fucking mixed with yours and i can let it go. I thought avoiding you would help make you leave every piece of my being but it just made it worse. You know what happened to my family, and i dont want to use that as an excuse but im fucking terrified of seeing you in my nightmares.” Simon's lips are drawn into a thin line and his body slumps into the wall, his shoulders dropping.

“I know im an arse and big fucking mess and selfish as all hell, but i feel different for you and i dont know what to do with it.” his shaky hands clasped together in front of him.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve been together and i just wanted to have all of you, how many futures that have lingered in my mind over our years together. I want you for the rest of my life but I don't know how long that life will even be.” simon looks to you with a tired sigh.

You feel frozen in your spot the bitterness and frustration in your chest deflating into an equal exhaustion.

“Where do we go from here simon? I love you and I've loved you for over a decade but I can't keep going if you’re going to take years to tell me what you want.” You say stuffing your hands into your pockets unsure what to do with them.

“I like who i am around you, and i dont want to loose one of the only good things left in my life cause im being fucking daft. Am I too late?” his tone was soft almost a whisper. It felt so uncharacteristic for a man like simon ‘ghost’ riley to say something like this, to speak so softly and seem so nervous. You almost felt unsure about how genuine his words were but his glazed eyes had crushed your doubt.

Bringing your hands from your pockets you hesitantly grabbed simons hands before pulling them around you. He immediately melted into the hug, his hands gripping at you as if you'd disappear if he didn't hold you so tightly.

You could feel his relief as you held onto him his shaky breath evening out and his muscles going almost lax.

“We can try again.”

[Good ending] :)

[fatkish]

Hello, so in your mortem Omega x Shoji post, you mentioned Tokoyami being part of their pack due to a preexisting pack bond with Shoji, which I totally agree with. So in the context of just regular omega reader x alpha Shoji, do you have HCs for Tokoyami's role in the pack? Is it sort of a polyamorous situation, or does he prefer to steer clear when things are getting heated (or does he just watch and then write dramatic poetry about it later)? Is there anyone else you HC as being in their pack? Thank you for your time, have a lovely!

Shoji & Tokoyami x Reader a/b/o HC’s

(NSFW under the cut)

I headcannon that both Tokoyami and Mezo are alphas while the reader is an omega

In the trio, the reader is the friendly type and is a conversationalist and does most of talking whilst Mezo and Fumikage both happily listen and share their input

The triad likely started out as just the reader and Mezo, but then after some time of hanging out with Mezo and reader, Fumikage agreed to join their pack

Now in my A/B/O universe, there can be relationships within a pack. Packs are consisted of mainly just people who are extremely close to one another, like a tightly knit friends group. This allows for there to be personal relationships that exist within the pack

It would mainly just be the triad of (y/n), Mezo and Fumikage but they could create a friendship pack with Koda Koji, although he wouldn’t be part of the romantic/sexual triad. I also headcannon that Koji is a beta, I mean, he works with animals and having a powerful scent would probably hinder his quirk more than help it

The reader makes bentos for themselves, Mezo and Fumikage and brings them to school with them then hands them to them. Mezo and Fumikage deeply appreciate that (y/n) spends the time to make them delicious lunches when they don’t need to. Even if Lunch Rush’s food is better that (y/n)’s, the boys would always pick (y/n)’s cooking since it gives them a sense of pride to eat their omega’s cooking

As the reader hangs out with Tokoyami, they decide to nickname him Fumi and they gave Dark shadow the nickname Corumb, Cor from the Latin word Corvus for crow and Umb from the Latin word Umbra for shadow or darkness

Dark Shadow was thrilled to be given his own nickname. Dark Shadow likes to cuddle with the reader and is very protective and of them. If it’s dark and Dark Shadow gets out of control, then the reader will go to Fumikage and console Dark Shadow, Dark Shadow is calmed by the reader’s presence and loves them

Since Mezo doesn’t really have a bunch of stuff, his dorm room is the designated group den/nest.

The reader builds the communal nest in Mezo’s dorm and the three of them will cuddle together in it. Tokoyami will help the reader build the nest and the both of them will cuddle up to Mezo whilst in his many arms

When it comes to their ruts, the reader will help them through it. And they will take turns helping the reader with their heats

The reader has their own personal nest in their dorm that they use for themselves. Tokoyami and Mezo often give the reader new items that are scented for their nest

When it comes to Tokoyami’s rut, he’s actually very gentle and very attentive. I headcannon that his preferred position is doggy style due to his beak (also he isn’t really a kisser, he mostly just nuzzles) he’s got a decent 7 inches when fully aroused and he’s got a 2 inch knot. He’s got some nice veins and and it’s slightly curved upwards. The head is a soft pink

Tokoyami’s pace is slow and steady, he speeds up when he’s close to cumming though. He’s constantly rubbing his face into the reader’s back as he thrusts into them

Since Tokoyami can’t bite into the reader or Mezo, they both bite Tokoyami as to show that he’s claimed and belongs to someone(s)

Mezo and Tokoyami will pair off sometimes, when you’re in heat, they’ll take turns taking care of you while the other takes care of food and water or other stuff

(That’s all I got)

[writingbyshiloh]

3 Times You Hear People Refer to You as a Team and the 1 Time You Didn't

Berlin x Reader

CW: Reader goes by Vienna and is a medical person (only 2 lines about it!) suggestive content but no smut, sneaking around? no beta

AN: I’m so normal about Berlin I promise (lying). I'm definitely forgetting a CW but nothing too bad or dramatic happens. 

WC: 1.7k

“Wait, what's with team Germany? Two people with city names from the same country?” the dark-haired young man asks. You know his name is an American city, starting with a D. Dallas? Detroit? Denver!

It's obvious who half of the team is. Berlin is the capital of Germany. You don’t know who the second is. You frown while trying to remember the other city names in Europe. Oslo, Helsinki, and Moscow but none of them are in Germany. 

“Vienna?” you ask, pointing a finger at yourself.

His dad, Moscow smacks him on the back of his head. “Vienna’s not in Germany, dumbass.” 

Denver laughs, loud and not caring about his geographical mistake. “Right, it’s in Italy.” 

Others join in laughing at his second mistake. 

“It’s the capital of Austria?” You say bewildered. “They speak German but it's still very much in Austria.” 

Too late for you to interject, the team name had stuck.

The second time is during one of the many drills the professor makes at all hours of the night. You had an advantage, being awake and somewhat alert.

“Any man would forfeit his share of the heist for you to look at him like that,” Berlin says quietly, smoothing his hand down your back. You’re both stretched out on your bed, hardly dressed, with tired and heavy limbs. 

You feel your face heat up at the compliment but try to push it down. Both of you agreed to keep it casual but he has a hard time doing that. You stopped trying to kick him out immediately after sex to avoid his “theories” about how women need to be held. Why let him tell you when he can just do it? 

“Helsinki likes men.” you counter. His words are sweet, but you don’t have much faith in him, seeing as he’s a divorcee of 5. 

“He’s not blind, is he?” Berlin bumps his nose against your jaw, trying to get more space to kiss your neck. 

The buzzing alarm throughout the house saves you from trying to come up with a reply. You both slip out from your bed, rooting around the discarded clothes on your floor and chair. 

“Is this a weapons drill?” You ask quietly slipping a blanket over your shoulders to protect from the night air. Berlin cocks his head to the side listening to the three repeating beeps. 

“Yes.” 

You grab the fake weapons from your dresser specifically for these drills. You pass the fake gun to Berlin hoping it will look similar to his weapon, keeping the knockoff rifle for yourself under your blanket. Berlin kisses the corner of your mouth before opening your door and leaving towards his room. You slip out and go the other way, closer to the outside door.

You arrive at the checkpoint third, beaten by Moscow and Dever. Sometimes you hear them sharing a late-night smoke so they were probably awake. Half a minute after you Berlin arrives and Oslo follows next. The Professor nods his approval and writes down everyone's reaction time. As the rest of the group filters outside, Berlin subtly nudges your arm when Tokyo and Rio arrive together with one fake weapon between them, even though their rooms are in different parts of the house. 

Nairobi is last, her sleep mask pushed to her forehead, lamenting about how early is it, how others need their beauty sleep, not her though. You hold out both of your blanket-covered arms for Nairobi and Tokyo to cozy up against the chill on the night air. You used the same blanket when there was an evening fire a few days ago so the thick smell of smoke covers any hint of your time with Berlin. 

“Moscow, Denver, Team Germany, and Oslo. Congratulations on your fast reaction time and the attention you paid in the lessons, you’re free to back to bed. Nairobi, Tokyo, Rio, Helsinki, please have a coffee or a snack and meet me in the classroom in 10 minutes.” 

You have a warm bed waiting for you, possible company included, so you shrug out of your blanket, letting the other two share it. You shiver in the cold air and pick up the weapon before retreating into the house. 

The sun is hazy and low in the sky, calling to the bugs in the grass to move and flit around. There’s no actual lesson, but the Professor is answering questions anyone may have. Small groups have broken out, Nairobi, Helsinki, and Oslo all bonding while smoking, the Professor and Moscow talking about some negotiating, while Rio, Denver, and Tokyo are playing a card game, one filled with slapping hands on the table, and accusing one another of cheating.

You and Berlin are moving slowly to the song playing out on someone's radio. It’s not out of the ordinary, Tokyo declines every time he offers her a dance, and Moscow has no worries about spinning you around to whatever is on the radio. You even try to dance with Nairobi sometimes, both taking dramatic steps, more focused on making others laugh than the proper form.

There's still a small space between both of your chests trying to show nothing is going on between you both. It's hard though when he had two fingers hooked into the belt loops of your pants to push and pull you with ease. The dance is only a simple box step, step forward, to the side, step back, and then to the other side, but you can feel his charisma and passion in every step.

“Take a look at team Germany.” The professor says, drawing more attention to your little dance. “A negotiation is much like a dance.”

You break out of his hold to sip your drink before moving back into the starting position. With a nod for Berlin, you take a step forward and he gently pulls you in the same direction. You keep dancing, steps more slow and exaggerated for the demonstration, while he counts, a smooth repetition of one, two, three, four so the group can see the movements.

“Now…who is leading?” The Professor asks, the back end of his pen pointed at you both. Answers are overlapped, with no one strongly holding any opinion.

“Why would you say Vienna, Denver?” The Professor prompts, try to get someone to reach the answer before he needs to explain it.

“Vienna moves first, and steps forward. They’re leading.” Denver says. You can see Rio nod in agreement.

“No, it’s Berlin. Watch how he leads, helping Vienna follow.” Moscow points out.

“Yes, exactly. In a negotiation, it will be much the same. On the outside, it will look like the police are leading, and we are following. But actually…” The professor trails off, watching Team Germany dance.

You see Berlin raise his eyebrows, silently gesturing that he wants to spin you. You quickly nod, and at the start of the count, he pulls you close before pushing away. You spin away under his arm before turning back to the original dance position.

“We’re in control.”

You’re not sure if the hoots and claps from the table are for Berlin and you or the plan. You hope it's for both.

The fourth time you’re called Team Germany neither of you are around to see it.

“I think you look hot.” you tell Tokyo, sitting on her bed, watching her and Nairobi as they make last-minute adjustments to their outfits for the festival.

“You should come!” Nairobi begs you, holding out her hands to help you off the bed as if the only thing stopping you from joining is being stuck in place. You accept her help and allow her to pull you to a standing position.

“If I didn’t have a medical lesson with the Professor tomorrow, I would.”

“Oooo, sounds hot, are you going to study anatomy?” Nairobi teases. You know about how sexy she finds the Professor, something you can’t judge her for.

“No, it’s going over every medical misfire that can happen. Berlin and Helsi are going to be there too.”

You can’t tell if the look Tokyo is shooting at you is strange or if she's drunk. You don’t get the chance to ask her before Rio and Denver come crashing in.

“This is pure elegance, my friend.” Denver announces, dancing in his jacket, while everyone crowds around him.

“What the fuck! Is this Berlins?” Nairobi asks. You know it is but you don’t have a good reason to know so you let the others figure it out themselves. “He’s going to fucking kill you.”

Denver's cries of reassurance are drowned out by Tokyo shushing him and encouraging the group to get moving. In the corridor, everyone lowers their volume.

“Have fun! Be safe! Drink lots of water!” you wish Nairobi and Tokyo as they give you an over-friendly kiss fueled with alcohol. You try to wipe off the excess lipstick before giving up. Denver and Nairobi walk you back to your room on their way out, Tokyo and Rio getting something they forgot back in Tokyo's room.

Outside waiting with a cigarette, Denver reaches into the pocket of Berlin's coat and quickly retracts his hand.

“What's wrong? Cut yourself on one of his five previous wedding rings?” Nairobi asks, setting her cigarette aside to see what hurt Denver. More casually, he reaches into the pocket and pulls out a few items of jewelry. Laying them flat in his palm, he holds them up for Nairobi to examine.

“Holy shit! Those are Vienna’s.”

“Why does Berlin have them?”

“It’s fucking obvious, team Germany is fucking!”

“Who’s fucking?” Tokyo asks, arriving with Rio in tow, a few smears of lipstick around his mouth.

“Vienna and Berlin! Look!”

“What should we do? Tell the Professour?” Rio asks, surprised at the discovery. He missed all the signs from the past months that something was happening right under his nose.

“No! This is the perfect get-out-of-jail-free card.” Tokyo offers

“Tokyo you’re late to class” Nairobi says imitating the professor before using her regular voice “Well, team Germany is sleeping together!”

“No one says a word about this. We need to wait for the right time.” Tokyo says. She knows she and Rio won’t be hidden forever. But the leader and the medical expert sleeping together? That’s ammunition she can’t wait to use.

[staylovesmiley]

Going Dumb~ Chapter 1

ᯓᡣ𐭩Pairing; Kim Seungmin x Fem!reader , Stray Kids x Fem!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; It had been over a decade since you had last seen each other, having met in choir when Seungmin was living with his grandparents in LA and you with your Aunt. Now that you are both presented adults, how will he handle a change to the reality of you he had made in his mind in your absence over the years?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 Notes; This is an ABO!AU. in this world when someone reaches puberty they will present with one of three sub genders; alpha, beta, or omega. Due to Alphas and Omegas experiencing rut and heat, some jobs are restrictive as to what sub genders they will hire, specifically singling out omegas as heat suppressants are harder to obtain than rut suppressants. Scent glands are located near the pressure points on the neck and small hormonal patches called scent blockers can be placed over them to reduce or rid an individual of their scent for a period of time depending on the strength of the hormones in the patch.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; abo!au, beta!kim seungmin, almost all alpha!straykids, poly!pack dynamics, female!reader, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, smut, enemies to lovers, Kim seungmin is kind of an ass I’m so sorry dandy boy, she/her pronouns used for reader, jealous seungmin, I have only ever wrote one abo story before but it is one of my favorite genres so I hope I can do this justice~

(masterlist here)

“God I can’t believe how unreasonable they are being!” Seungmin shouted, slamming the front door behind him as he stormed into the dorm and threw his bag down before pausing to take off his shoes. He made his way to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water to calm down while two heads peeked over the edge of the couch to watch him curiously. “What’s up, pup?” Changbin questioned with a teasing smirk, quickly wiping it off his face as the younger turned to glare at him dangerously. “My parents, they are being ridiculous.” He huffed, setting his glass down on the counter before rubbing at his face with exhaustion.

Changbin looked to Felix who sat beside him, the younger alpha shrugging and they both turned back to the beta. “What do you mean, Seungie?” Felix asked as he patted the spot beside him for the younger to join. Reluctantly he took him up on the offer and sat beside the pair on the large brown leather couch. “It’s kind of a long story- and everyone should probably be here cause it kind of involves all of us…” he said with a grumble, not looking forward to having a pack meeting over this. Changbin nodded and sent a message in the group chat.

Seungmin tried to calm down while waiting for everyone to arrive. With it being an off day for most members, it didn’t take long and soon all they were waiting for was their pack alpha who just happened to be walking through the door. “Hey Minnie what’s up? What’s with the need for a pack meeting?” Chan raised an eyebrow, usually he was the one to call for such meetings but he could tell instantly that it was serious and something was bothering their beta.

Sighing, the young beta straightened up and ran a hand through his hair. “So- god this is gonna be a lot I’m so sorry…” everyone rolled their eyes at his stalling and Minho hit him over the head lightly from where he was standing behind the couch. “Spill, puppy.” The younger growled lightly, though not as menacing as he wished it would be to the alpha. “There is this girl-“ Hyunjin gasped loudly, hand over his chest in a dramatic display of teasing faux shock. “Our puppy gets bitches?!” This exclamation earned him a pillow to the face from Jeongin and everyone shouting at him to let the second youngest continue his story before making comments.

“As I was saying, there is this girl who I used to know from when I was in the states, right?” He rolled his eyes at the thought, huffing a bit. “Super annoying alpha from choir who would always hang around me and made everyone avoid me like the plague cause of how annoying she was-“ Shaking his head, he decided he was getting off track. “Anyways, her aunt became friends with my parents and they apparently kept in touch all this time and she is coming to Korea to start working.” So far everyone was following, full attention on the beta in front of them. “Well- she was gonna be staying with my parents I guess while she gets settled and finds a place to live but since they are about to go on this big anniversary trip they don’t want her to get lonely at the house all by herself.” Once again he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Get to the point, pup.” Chan urged him, arms crossed over his chest as he saw the others starting to get impatient. “They are bringing her here to stay with us until they get back since we have that spare room and apparently decided we should reconnect or whatever after all this time- as if we were ever really friends to begin with….” He spewed so fast he almost tripped over his words, wincing a bit as he waited for them to scold him for not protesting his parents favor harder.

Everyone stared at him a bit, mixes of disbelief, confusion, and slight amusement from some. “I tried to tell them we are about to have a comeback and won’t be here much as it is and she’d be better just staying at the house anyways but they used that as an excuse that she won’t be a bother cause we won’t have to see her much.” Seungmin groaned, placing his head in his hands. “I’m sorry guys- she should be here in a few hours I just found out on my drive back from vocal lessons.”

Chan shrugged, trying to keep his scent neutral as to keep everyone calm. “Hey, it’s okay Minnie. I’m sure she isn’t as bad as you remember, I mean it’s been a long time since you were in the states yeah?” He nodded, looking up at the oldest with a slight pout. “Yeah…I guess-“ Felix patted him on the back and Minho sighed as he pushed away from the couch. “Well I guess I’ll go get that spare bedroom ready for a guest. Any idea how long she’ll be here?”

Thinking for a bit, trying to recall all his mother had spewed to him about his childhood “friend’s” visit while he seethed quietly on his end of the line. “I don’t know- they will be gone a month but she could find an apartment sooner than that? At least a month then she will go back to my parents. She’ll be their problem.” He groaned, standing up to get his glass of water again and calm his agitated scent. What were his parents thinking dumping you on him like this was some sort of boarding home.

It was about a half an hour after the pack meeting that there was a ring of the doorbell chiming through the apartment. All the members’ heads popped up to look around before Seungmin huffed in annoyance and went to answer it. Upon opening the door his eyes landed on you, suitcases slightly behind you and a shy smile on your soft features. You were dressed in ripped light wash jeans and a plain black hoodie so oversized it fell at almost mid thigh over your jeans. You looked good and he mentally cursed himself for thinking so.

“Seungmin? Oh my god it’s been….forever.” You said the last word breathlessly, looking him up and down with a little giggle as you took in his appearance. “Didn’t think you’d be taller than me someday.” You teased lightly, watching as his eyes rolled and his scent spike with agitation. “Come in, I guess….where is mom and dad?” He questioned, stepping aside to allow you in before peeking out into the hall to search for them. “Um in a hurry to get back to the airport so they just dropped me off and told me what door to go to…” you said, awkwardness laced in your tone as you pulled your rolling suitcases in with you and looked up to find several pairs of eyes locked onto you.

“Oh- are these your pack mates?” You asked softly, looking around at them with a soft wave and what you hoped was a friendly smile. “Yes. Try not to bother us too much, yeah? We’re very busy right now.” He huffed as he closed the door behind you and grabbed a suitcase with one hand and your wrist with the other causing you to yelp softly at the sudden grip. “Come on I’ll show you where you can stay…” he grumbled out, ignoring the look Chan shot his way before the elder stepped out in front of the two of you to stop him. “Seungmin, are you not going to introduce us?” He asked, eyebrow raised at him before shooting a soft smile to where you stood behind him. “Hi, I’m Bangchan. You can just call me Chan, though.” He said holding a hand out to you.

You tensed a bit, his strong saltwater scent washing over you as if you had just dived head first into the ocean. “Y/n, but everyone calls me-“ Seungmin cut you off, rolling his eyes a bit. At this rate they would fall out of his head with how hard and how many times he was making the gesture.

“Bunny. Everyone calls her Bunny. And that’s Changbin, Jeongin, and Felix on the couch, Hyunjin is the one lurking in the kitchen pretending not to be paying attention, Jisung is in his room, and Minho is in the room you’ll be staying in still I think? He may have gone to his room already-“ Seungmin said as he pointed to everyone’s location before looking at Chan with impatience. “There, introduced. Now can I show them to their room, hyung?” He asked with a slight annoyance in his tone that the older didn’t appreciate. “Puppy…manners.” Is all he said, before stepping aside. “It’s nice to meet you, Bunny.” The alpha said with a wink before heading off to his own room.

You blushed slightly, trailing silently behind your old friend as he lead you into a plainly decorated room with just a bed and bedside table. Minho had indeed already retired to his room so Seungmin gestured to the mostly empty space then sighed. “Here. Don’t make too much noise and again, don’t bother us.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before grabbing onto his wrist as he tried to leave. “Wait- Minnie? Um it’s really nice to see you again. I’m really happy for you and all you’ve accomplished….I hope your parents have sent you my well wishes over the years.”

They indeed had constantly kept him up to date with the messages you had sent to him, though he wondered why after all these years of him dodging any attempts to keep in touch you would care to wish him well or say they are happy for him. “Right, yeah they have. I’m going to wash up, just keep to yourself while you’re here yeah? And don’t call me that.” He said, his usually neutral clean laundry scent souring with his attitude as he quickly left you alone in the room, shutting the door behind him.

You were left standing in the room, a little dumbfounded at his attitude before you scratched a bit anxiously at the scent blockers on your neck. You rolled your suitcases over to the closet and laid them down so it would be easier to go through them when needed, humming softly to yourself before there was a knock at the door. A young man with short black hair and catlike features peeked his head into the room but had his eyes covered by one hand. “Decent?” You giggled a bit, nodding. “Yeah- you’re good.”

Removing his hand from his eyes, the man smirked as he fully entered the room. “Im Minho, you’re uh Bunny, right?” He asked, eyebrow raised with amusement. “Mhm that’s me! It’s nice to meet you.” You reached out, shaking his hand before standing. “Likewise. Sorry for the puppy’s behavior earlier….” You shrugged, sighing a bit. “It’s probably warranted…I feel bad for letting there be distance between us for so long I should have tried harder to keep in touch.” Curiosity flooded his warm caramel scent as he looked at you quizzically. “You seem to be more fond of him than he is of you…” with another sigh you nodded your head. “It seems so, yeah…I’m sure he’ll warm up though it’s just been a while.” Minho nodded slowly.

“Right….anyways- I was coming to say dinner is ready if you wanna come grab something to eat? It’s just pizza we weren’t really up to cooking tonight.” You beamed at his kindness and shrugged slightly. “Sounds good to me!” You said, following him out as he lead the way to the dinning room where multiple pizza boxes lay open on the table.

Everyone was congregated in the living room, something random on the tv for background noise as they ate in relative silence. You got yourself a slice and sat down at the table alone, getting the feeling Seungmin didn’t want you to interact with his pack much but Minho rolled his eyes and took a hold of your wrist, pulling you with him to the living room where everyone else was waiting. “No really it’s fine- I can even eat in my room if you-“ the alpha looked back to give you a look that this was nonnegotiable and you relented, head hung slightly causing everyone’s interest to pique slightly with your easy submission.

Once you settled on the floor with your place on the coffee table in front of you, Minho spoke up. “Can I get you something to drink?” You looked up blinking a bit before answering. “Water please?” He smiled warmly and nodded, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and handing it to you before taking his seat. “Seungmin said you’re here for work, yeah? What is it you do?”

You took a sip of your water before replacing the cap and setting it down. Looking up to see it was Chan who had asked you the question. “This is going to sound so cliche but- I’m an English teacher.” This caused them all to look around subtly with more confusion, teaching not being a job many alphas applied for though it wasn’t unheard of. Chan asking you your line of work caused the preverbal glass to tip over and the others began spouting out questions of their own.

“What made you want to teach in Korea?” Came Jeongin, taking a bite of his pizza so large it was almost the whole slice at once. “Oh well I was originally a teacher back in America, for a few years now, but it wasn’t as much money compared to the cost of living….I was talking to Minn- uh Seungmin’s sister and she told me I should try teaching over here.” They all nodded, glancing between you and Seungmin to see his reaction to the mention of his older sister and he simply at his dinner, pretending not to care or listen as his pack mates entertained you.

Next came Changbin, an amused smirk on his lips. “Why do you go by Bunny?” This got Seungmin’s attention and he answered for you in a mocking tone. “Because when she was little she had huge front teeth and always scrunches her nose like a baby bunny. Also had a habit of eating raw vegetables like crazy.” He scoffed, causing you to look down at your lap with a sting in your chest. “Well yeah, thanks Seungmin that pretty much sums it up….I grew into my smile pretty much and I eat more than just veggies now but the name stick so hard-“ You continued to explain, causing the beta to groan exaggeratedly. “Uh- I’m from the south originally and once you get a nickname people from there won’t ever let you forget it. I got lucky mine isn’t too bad-“ you sighed, ignoring the feeling of Seungmin glaring at the back of your head.

The rest of the meal you tried to keep your answers short, fearing angering your old playmate any more for “annoying his members” assumingely. You were quick to help clean up, insisting it’s the least you could do for them allowing you to stay there with them. Once everything was cleaned up and the left overs were put away you had Minho show you to the bathroom and reach you how to work the shower before leaving you with your folded up pajamas, a towel, and your toiletries tucked to your chest to wash up.

While you showered in one bathroom, everyone else got ready for bed using one of the other two before they retired to their respective rooms to call it a night. As you scrubbed away the airport smells from your skin, you reached up and carefully peeled away the scent blocking patches you had on for far to long now. You sighed in relief at the lack of hormones clogging your glands and made sure to thoroughly wash the area to clean away any residue left behind.

Stepping out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of short black pajama shorts and an oversized sweatshirt you padded your way in socked feet to the room your be staying in, your warm citrusy scent quickly filling the apartment and causing the occupants to stir from their beds and make their way out to the hall. By the time all eight men congregated there you were already tucked away in your room, quickly falling asleep after the days travel and jet lag setting in.

“Uh, Seungmin I hate to break it to you but I don’t think your friend is an Alpha- did they tell you they were one?” Felix asked, looking over at him as they all took in your sweet scent. “No- neither of us had presented before I left to come back to Korea…I just- I assumed okay?” He groaned, placing his head in his hands. “What made you think they would be an alpha so strongly?” Changbin laughed, patting the beta on the back. “They were so obnoxious and loud and rowdy and annoying- oh um….No offense? But you know how alphas can be especially when just presenting! Remember Ji?”

All eyes fell on Han and he held his hands up in surrender. “Hey! I came to see the errors of my ways and have made amends-“ they all chuckled and turned back to the second youngest. “She used to get into fights all the time too! One time she beat up my buddy so badly she broke his nose!” He winced at the memory and Chan sighed, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall. “Look- Alpha or Omega it doesn’t matter. She didn’t seem to mind staying here knowing we are all, well almost all, alphas so we just gotta make sure we don’t make her feel uncomfortable. Got it?” Everyone nodded in the affirmative and a chorus of yawns rang out. “Let’s get some sleep, yeah? Busy day tomorrow only a few more til the comeback and we have a lot to prep still.”

Soon they all went back to bed, trying to get some sleep with the foreign but almost intoxicating scent coming from your room and settling well in the apartment with the other collective scents. Seungmin laid on his back for what felt like hours, staring up at the ceiling as it almost taunted him. All these years and any time you were brought up in his mind he knew you as that annoying little alpha who would never give him any space in choir. Hearing you were a teacher now, never having pursued music knowing the talent you held (despite his distaste for you he couldn’t deny that fact) made more sense knowing that the industry rarely accepted omegas, and even had some aversion to alphas.

Shaking his head of the thoughts of you swimming there, he attempted yet again to fall asleep but found it almost impossible knowing you already weren’t who he remembered you to be, and he couldn’t seem to over come the thought that his reality could be altered so quickly without any control. You were seeming to be the death of his sanity yet again and you had only just arrived.

author’s note: I real hope you all like this story- ૮꒰ “. . ꒱ა i purposely left off the readers sub gender from the tags because I wanted to at least attempt to surprise you all~ I’m already have a lot of fun with this series and have so many things planned I hope I can get it all to work (still would love suggestions though I get inspired and hyped up by you all so much ilysm) ᕱᕱ⊹ ࣪ ˖

taglist; @coastinglove @skzswife (if you want to be added to the taglist pls lmk)

[sleep-drunk-kitten]

pairing: Jay x fem!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst/miscommunication trope? if you squint? Oneshot bullet point fic

content warnings: none

Summary: Sunoo is sick of watching you pine after Jay when he clearly has feelings for you too, so he devises a plan to give the two of you some much needed alone time

notes: this was the result of a very delusional conversation I had with @nar-nia, thank you for fueling my delulu thoughts and beta reading the first draft love <3 I would never have posted this if it wasn't for your support ;*

Everything below the cut is NOT proofread

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

You were going to kill Jake and Sunoo

This was all their fault

They were the ones who had insisted that you all leave the “stuffy” confines of the airbnb your friendgroup had rented for your annual trip to the beach to visit the boardwalk and amusement park barely an hour after you’d all arrived

Doing everything in their power to drag a spaced out Sunghoon and a tired looking Jay along

Sunoo sulking and singing an extremely off-key rendition of “part of your world” while dragging you through the living room in a clumsy waltz, gesturing dramatically at the large glass windows leading out onto the patio to emphasise his point every time he hit a line about dancing or walking

When his attempts at annoying them into going inevitably failed, he decided the only thing left was to get both you and niki on his side and beg

Convincing Niki was a bit of a task, the younger boy content to lounge around on a beanbag with his nintendo

He probably would’ve stayed there had if it was only Sunoo asking him for help... purely for the sake of annoying his hyung

But Jake overheard Sunoo's whispered pleas, and when he joined the campaign and asked the younger boy for help, Niki couldn’t really find it in him to say no

Enlisting your help was significantly easier, even if you were a bit annoyed by his earlier antics

Because while you were close to everyone in your little group, Sunoo in particular had a special place in your heart, having been by your side since childhood, you would do almost anything for him

Even if it meant putting on an indifferent facade in front of the man you’d been in love with for an unhealthily long time

Jay really didn’t want to go to the amusement park

although the rest of you had gotten to sleep and recharge between stops, he and Sunghoon were both tired after staying alert and herding you all from place to place all morning

All he wanted to do was sleep

But Sunoo had somehow managed to rope both you and Niki in on his schemes 

It would have been hard enough to say no to his precious little brother

But you?

How could he say no when you were asking so nicely? Pleading your case by saying that this was a trip you’d all taken to make memories together, so what was the point if Jay and Sunghoon weren’t there with you?

God you were just too cute

Jay tries to appeal to you and Niki, knowing there’s no point in trying to talk Sunoo out of this

“But (y/n)-ah, Niki, we’re tired, it’s been such a long day, can’t we just stay in till dinnertime?”

“Exactly,” Sunghoon says from his spot beside Jay, eyes coming back into focus for the first time since you’d started speaking, “we could always go tomorrow, the fair isn’t going anywhere.”

“It is, actually,” Heeseung joins the fray, walking into the living room from the kitchen, looking at something on his phone. “Or at least the ferris wheel is, they’re closing it down for maintenance tomorrow, and it won’t be open again till the day we’re leaving.”

“See! Heeseung gets it!” you exclaim, high fiving him.

Jay feels his heart sink just a little at the sight

It had been almost two years since Niki had told him about your feelings for Heeseung, casually dropping the bomb as the two of them sat on lawn chairs by Jake’s pool, watching you try and fail to yank him off a large unicorn shaped pool float and into the water

Jay had played it cool, laughing along like it meant nothing

Except it did

Because Jay had realised very early on in your friendship that he was a dead man walking

From the moment when Sunoo dragged you over to their table at lunch, announcing that you were his best friend, and you’d introduced yourself with a nervous little smile on your face

To the days where you walked home with them, laughing and bickering with Jake over silly things like whether or not water was wet and if black was a color

And all the times he’d seen you sitting quietly with Niki, allowing him to lean on you like an older sister 

With every day that passed, Jay had found himself falling faster and faster, till he got to a point where he feared there was no return 

But he was too late

You liked Heeseung

And whether you chose to act on that or not, it just wasn’t his place to try and win you over when you liked someone else

So he sets his feelings aside, packing them neatly away and schooling his expression into something as neutral as possible

“That’s just the ferris wheel though, isn’t it?” Sunghoon asks, still trying to find a reason to stay curled into the soft couch cushions

“Yeah but (y/n)’s been looking forward to trying the ferris wheel since we started planning!” Sunoo whines, nudging you pointedly

“Mnmm!” you nod, It wasn’t exactly true, you’d only mentioned once that the ferris wheel looked pretty

But they didn’t have to know that

“Really, (y/n)?” Jay asks

You nod enthusiastically, not knowing how much you’d regret it

Jay can feel his resolve crumbling, how could he deny you anything when you look so genuinely excited about it? He’d rather drown himself in the sea than be one to take that away from you

So here you all were, walking along the crowded boardwalk, passing by booths with an assortment of hand crafted souvenirs and trinkets on display against a backdrop of colorful cloths, the smell of warm sugar and sizzling street foods mingling with the ocean breeze

It was all fun and games at first, all of you trying foods, taking pictures, walking up to a few stalls and attempting to win prizes, competing to see who could walk away with the biggest stuffed toy that night

You were laughing, joking around with Jungwon, winning a large duck plushie for Niki, twirling around and showing off the pretty sundress you’d thrown on when Sunoo pointed his camcorder at you

Blissfully unaware of the pointed looks passing between him and Jake

The two of them had noticed early on the way Jay stuck close to you

Carefully placing himself between you and any other tourists who were brushing past a little too close for comfort

Watching you twirl for the camera with such a nauseatingly lovesick expression on his face that Sunoo nearly gagged

Only to move away as soon as Heeseung approached you

Giving the two of you “space”

Space to do what exactly Sunoo had no idea

Sure you’d liked Heeseung when you’d first been introduced to his friends

But that hadn’t lasted long at all

Your affections quickly shifting to someone else

The poor pink-haired boy had lost count of the number of times he’d had to listen to you complain about how handsome Jay was

How kind and attentive he was

What an amazing husband he’d be one day

How lucky his future wife would be

Sunoo wanted to grab you by the shoulders and remind you that there was a fair chance that that future wife could be you

He had done just that on more than one occasion

But you brushed him aside every time

Saying there was no way Jay could ever have feelings for you

It drove him insane

Especially when he noticed the way Jay looked at you 

Jake was thankfully spared from most of your rants

But he was very much aware of how you felt

And he agreed with Sunoo, there was absolutely no way Jay didn’t return your feelings

So the two of them had come up with a plan

At some point, Jake let slip that while you were very excited about riding he ferris wheel, you were actually scared to go on because you were afraid of heights

You turned to him in surprise, unsure how to respond to the wholly false claim without exposing the fact that you’d lied about wanting to ride the ferris wheel in the place

Sunoo joined in a moment later, complaining about how he’d tried to convince you that it wasn’t all that scary, that these things were checked regularly to ensure they were safe, but that you just wouldn’t listen

You’d elbowed him in the ribs, confusion painted across your features

When Jay made a suggestion 

An absolutely terrifying one

“Well… one of us could go with you if you’d like? It probably won’t be as bad if you’re not all by yourself”

“That would be brilliant! But Jake and I promised to go in the haunted house with Niki…”

“I could go with her then, I don’t really feel like scaring myself silly when I won’t be sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

“Could you? That would be great! Whaddya say (y/n)?”

All three pairs of eyes land on you, and for a moment you feel your mouth go dry

On a ferris wheel… In a small glass box… alone… with Jay…

It sounds absolutely terrifying

“I’m not too sure…” you start to say, but Jay bumps his shoulder against yours, and when you manage to will yourself to look at him, he’s smiling down at you

“C’mon, I’ll be right there with you he whole time,” he says, “you’ll regret it more if you don’t go.”

You swallow around the lump that’s formed in your throat

He’s right

You were the one who’d gone on and on about making memories 

Here was a prime opportunity to build a memory you’d surely never forget

Wouldn’t you regret it more if you chickened out now?

“Okay…I’ll go,” you said

And the cheers that erupted from the three boys were so infectious that you forgot about the nervous butterflies filling your chest

Until of course you were actually on the ferris wheel

The glass doors sliding shut to seal your fate

You hadn’t known that there was only one seat in the capsul 

Hadn’t counted on being right next to Jay, your thighs occasionally knocking together 

The proximity was doing nothing to help the racing of your heart, sharp pinpricks of heat blossoming under your skin and spreading up your neck and ears

“(y/n), you there?”

Jay’s voice startles you a little, and you wince before you can catch yourself

“Huh? Oh yeah… I’m here, sorry”

Your familiar, nervous laugh makes Jay smile a little, reminding him of the day you first met

But he quickly brushes the memory aside, choosing to focus on you

You seemed uncomfortable

Were you really this afraid of heights?

He tries his best to smile reassuringly, tilting his head to one side so he’s looking up at you instead of it being the other way round

“Well hello, welcome back,” he says, unaware of the way those few words send the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy

“Hi…” you manage back, mentally patting yourself on the back for how normal your voice sounds

“Hi,” he chuckles, and the sound makes your brain go a little fuzzy, so much so that you barely register it when he gestures behind him. “I know you’re avoiding looking out for a reason, but you really should.”

“What? Oh, right, I- ooh.”

You sigh, suddenly forgetting why you’d been panicking in the first place

“It’s beautiful…” you say, but you’re also looking at Jay when you say it, golden light washing over his skin, making him glow against the backdrop of the sea

“It is,” he says, and if you’d been paying more attention, you would have noticed two things:

Jay’s back was to the sunset, he’d been looking at you the whole time

The ferris wheel had stopped moving some moments prior

Unfortunately for you both, your mind only processes the second, your eyes as wide as dinner plates when your brain catches up with your body and the lack of motion finally sets in

“Jay… Is this ride supposed to stop?”

“No?”

“No?!” 

“I mean I’m pretty sure it’s not?!”

Realisation dawns on you, and you rush to the side of the pod, watching as Sunoo and Jake, your own best friend smiles back you, blowing you a kiss

You know what they'd done.

You know because you would have done the same in a heartbeat

The butterflies in your chest seem to double, wings beating frantically against your ribcage 

The panic that had temporarily subsided beginning to creep back up your spine

Buzzing through your veins and going straight to your head

How long would you be up here? What were you supposed to do when your heart felt like it was caught in your throat? How were you supposed to remain calm when Jay was sitting right next to you looking so so beautiful knowing he probably thought you were insane for freaking out like this when it really wasn't a big deal and you should have been fine and-

“Hey, hey, calm down, breathe, I was wrong, stop looking out there (y/n).”

Oh no

He’s touching you now, a hand on your arm pulling you back, tugging you away from the glass and the view that honestly didn’t scare you as much as he thought it did

And closer to him

The real reason you felt like you were going to vibrate right out of your skin

Your eyes dart around almost frantically, focusing on anything but him

Jay watches you fidget in your seat, hands clasped together in your lap, face flushed, breathing uneven

He’s never seen you like this before

And he can’t help but blame himself

He should’ve never let Sunoo and Jake talk you into this 

“(y/n), (y/n) please, I need you to breathe, look at me please.”

His hands come up to gently cup your cheeks, turning your face away from the “frightening” view outside and forcing you to make direct eye contact with him

You feel your heart stutter where it’s lodged in your throat

“Focus on me, please, don’t think about anything else, just focus and breathe for me, yeah?”

You could cry

Tears welling up in the corners of your eyes

Jay has absolutely no idea how difficult he’s making this for you

Completely clueless to the way the deepening crease between his brows makes you want to kiss it

How the way his lips are pressed together with worry makes your heart flip in your chest

“(y/n), I can feel you shaking, this is just a technical difficulty, you’re okay, nothing’s going to happen.”

But I want it to

The words rest on the tip of your tongue

You want something to happen

The longer you stare at him the harder it is to focus on his eyes, the task proving impossible with the way your heart squeezes painfully in your chest at how soft and open they are, how intently he’s looking at you, it makes you feel like you’re special to him when you know you’re not

He’s looking out for you the same way he would Niki or Jungwon 

You need to remember that

But not looking at his eyes means looking at the rest of him

Which you soon discover is almost as dangerous, because what you find yourself focusing on now is his lips

The way they curve around the vowels of your name as he tries to talk you through the jumbled, scattered thoughts and feelings he's causing

Oh the irony

But he's not really faring much better

Jay feels like he’s going insane

He sees the way your eyes keep flickering across his face

Settling on his lips just a little too long for his peace of mind

You're making him question how you really feel about him

Pulling at the strings wound tightly across the box of memories he'd stashed neatly away

Moments where he'd been sure you looked at him in ways friends weren't really supposed to look at each other

He can't do this

Jay pulls his hands away from your face, allowing them to flutter over your skin

Over your jaw

Down your neck

Across your shoulders

Before coming to settle on your upper arms

Leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake, gently pushing you away, holding you at arms length, his body bowed as if in pain

“You can’t do that (y/n),” he breathes, letting out a shuddering breath

“Jay?” your voice is barely anything above a whisper, fear creeping in with the panic

 Did he see? Did he notice? Did you somehow manage to make him uncomfortable after everything you’d doen to avoid that exact scenario?

“You can’t keep looking at me like that when you have feelings for Heeseung.”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, for the cogs in your mind to turn them over and process them through white noise and fog filling your head like cotton 

And when they finally do sink in, you blanch, willing yourself to get it together, to apologise, to do whatever you had to do to salvage the situation

But Jay speaks again before you can

“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

It’s Jay’s turn to swallow around the lump in his throat, his grip on your arms tightening, face downturned, staring at the peeling blue vinyl between you

The butterflies in your chest slow, settling along your ribs so the anxious beating of their wings stills to a steady thrum

“What do you mean by that?” you ask, surprising yourself with how calm you sounded

“I mean… I mean that you have no idea how insane it makes me when I see you with him, when you’re laughing together and you smile at him like he’s your whole world, because I wish you’d look at me like that, because… and I know it’s selfish but I wish that I could be the only one to make you laugh… But I know that you like Hee, and that’s okay, my feelings are my own, it’s not on you to take responsibility for them, but I need to take care of my own heart (y/n) I feel like I’m losing my mind I-”

“Jay,” you cut him off, voice coming out more harsh than you’d intended, but it works, his mouth snapping shut immediately. “Jay, look at me please,” you say, more gently this time. 

He does as you ask, and your heart breaks a little when you realise that his eyes are as glassy as yours

You place your hands over his, and for one, horrible moment, though he knows he deserves it, though he knows you have every right to, he thinks you’re going to tear yourself away from him. 

But you don’t. 

Your hands are warm against his, too warm, and they’re still shaking, but they’re moving his lower, over your elbows, onto your sides, till they come to rest on your waist. He can feel your pulse in your wrists, matching his beat for anxious beat

He’s so distracted by how soft you feel and how perfectly you fit in his hands that he flinches when you lean towards him, moving away from you on instinct

Cute, you think, unable to stop the corners of your mouth from twitching upwards

“What if I want to?” you whisper, his pupils blown wide as he searches your expression, “what if I want to take responsibility for your feelings?”

For a moment, you’re sure neither of you remembers how to breathe. The world standing still

Jay isn’t really sure he’s capable of forming a coherent sentence, words rushing through his skull and coming to an abrupt halt before they could make it past his lips

So he settles for the next best thing 

Slowly, his hand moves from your waist, brushing against your knuckles, tentatively lacing his fingers through your own, careful to give you time to pull away should you wish to

But you don’t

No

You level your gaze with his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as if to say ‘go on’

He lets out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding, cautiously bringing your hand up to his lips, barely brushing them over your skin before turning your hand over and placing a soft, chaste kiss against your palm

His eyes don’t leave yours for even a moment, watching you intently, gauging your reactions. When you don’t flinch or move away, he lets your entwined hands fall to the side. 

“What about Heeseung?” he asks, even as he’s leaning towards you, even when you can feel the ghost of his lips on yours.

You giggle despite yourself, bringing your free hand up to thread your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. “It was never him, silly…” 

A shiver runs down his spine, whether from your words or your actions neither of you can really say

And it doesn’t really matter anyway

Your eyes flutter closed, you can feel the warmth radiating off his skin-

And the ferris wheel starts turning again with a sharp jolt

Sending you crashing into each other, foreheads knocking together painfully

You both groan in pain, looking around confusedly, trying to regain your bearings as the moment passes

When your eyes meet again, and you realise that your hands are clasped together tightly between you, neither of you can stop the fit of giggles bubbling up in your chests

You’re both still laughing by the time you make it back to the bottom, the doors sliding open to reveal your friends waiting for you with triumphant smiles on their faces

Niki grumbling as he hands Sunoo several folded bills 

You let go of Jay’s hand the second you see it, marching over to kick their shins 

“You didn’t even go to the haunted house did you?” you whisper-yell, glaring daggers at them

Sunoo’s smile is pure evil, flicking your nose and replying in the most annoyingly smug tone you’d ever heard. “Now now, (y/n), is that any way to talk to the person who so graciously helped you get over the pathetic moping phase of your crush?”

“Which lasted much too long by the way,” Jake chimes in, joining the conversation 

“You were in on this?!” 

“You weren’t exactly subtle sweetheart, Jay was just fed false information thanks to this kid.”

“Excuse me?” 

The bickering continues as you all walk away from the ferris wheel, Niki and Jake both getting whacked over the head with the large pink octopus Sunoo had won for you as an apology (the only reason he wasn’t getting beaten up too)

It isn’t until the two of them run away from you, cackling like hyenas, that you feel an arm wrap round your waist

Holding you loosely, Jay leans down so only you can hear him

“We’ll finish that conversation later, (y/n).”

And then he’s gone

Leaving you standing there, feeling flustered enough to match the octopus in your arms, glaring at a snickering Sunoo

[ram-bam-writes]

RHO (Ridin’ Him Out) Pt. 2 [Hangman x NB Reader]

A/N: No apologies. Some plot. Mostly horny thoughts :>

Word Count: 2233

CW: Smut (explicit), fingering, semi-public fucking, truck kink, piv (wrap before tap), slight degradation, no beta we die like goose, etc

“Hey Hangman!” 

You peek up from your kindle to see Bradley grinning up at your boyfriend, two rusted axes he’d taken from Mav a while back in his hands. Your boyfriend, without even hesitating, stands up and strips off his flannel, stomping confidently over to his opposing pilot. Wild smirk and all, he takes one of them and spins it far too dangerously in his hands.

Everyone had just gotten finished setting up the camping lot. Bob and Nat had set up a small patio-like area right outside of their trailer with large tables, since they’d focus on being the dining area for the trip. Meanwhile, Bradley and his partner used their trailer area for the outdoor games and campfire as the lounge area. Rueben and Mickey set up their tent a few yards away from you and Jake’s truck, which, in your opinion, was far too grand for a simple camping trip. To each their own. Javy brought a more modest tent, something simple to share with his partner and their pup.

You and Jake had settled for a simple truck bed tent. It was easy, and you liked the coziness of it. After all, you had two other trailers to hang out in during the day if you needed, so you both only needed the tent for sleep. It came with a zippered entrance and a zippered top. The top would unzip to a mesh window, something Jake had gushed about the moment he saw it. He loved sleeping under the stars, and so did you.

Now, you and the rest of the group sit underneath the patio of Nat and Bob’s trailer. The sun is still pretty high despite it being 20:00, but it seems Bradley wants to show off to his sweetheart, and there’s no doubt Jake wishes to do the same to you. Had Javy not just gotten back from medical leave due to a dislocated shoulder, he probably would have joined. 

If only Jake knew what it would lead to…

You’re practically drooling as Jake’s sweat runs down his toned body. His hair is disheveled as he runs his fingers through the dirty blond locks, a lazy grin on his flushed face. He swings the axe again, breaking apart the pre-chopped logs Javy had agreed to bring. 

“Likin’ the view, sweetheart?” Your boyfriend asks in that all too familiar teasing tone.

You could only whistle, throat too dry to produce an audible sound. The way his fingers curled around the axe, and — gods — the way he grit his teeth as he swung it once again… It made you squirm in your seat, eyes already glossing over as you licked your lips. 

For the next 30 minutes you were greeted with the hot sight of your boyfriend’s muscles straining and tensing as he and Bradley battled it out. Eventually there was no wood left, and the two agreed a reluctant tie for the competition of who could go longest. 

“Alright, alright… a tie.” Bradley offered his hand with a lazy grin, Jake shaking it with a more arrogant one.

“For now…”

Jake plopped back on the camping chair next to yours, his hand immediately coming down to clasp around your thigh. The action made you jump, eyes widening as a quiet gasp fell from your lips. Your boyfriend raised a brow at you. His brows twitch as he process your reaction, and in half a second, his lips brush against your ear.

“Don’t tell me you’re fucked-up already, darlin’…” His voice is practically a damn purr. 

You push him away, desperate to keep your sanity for the time being, especially when Bob’s eyes flick to Nat’s for help as she snickers quietly. Nat had always been the one to catch onto these sorts of things, and she could do it for Bradley and his partner, too.

——

“That wasn’t fair, y’know…” You pouted, climbing up into the tent that rests atop the muddy Ram truck. 

“Mmm… I never said I’d go easy on you. C’mon, darlin’, you can last a few more days, can’t you?”

You could only huff in response, quickly changing into something more comfortable before settling down. You watch as your boyfriend’s eyes glitter when he sees you, a challenging look in them. You know that look all too well… 

You opt to fling his sleep shirt at him, muttering an on-brand, “Fuck you,” all the while. 

He zips the tent up behind himself, making a loud thud as he drops to his elbows next to you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was exhausted. Alas, you did know him better, and can only mentally die when you hear those heavy breaths fall from his mouth. 

You tried your hardest not to think about the rough surface beneath the blanket you lay on. If you thought any harder about it, you might actually combust. His truck, his brand-new, stupid fucking truck. The one that’s as beefy as any military-grade vehicle and as loud as any military jet. The one he treats just as roughly as he treats you in bed, leaving an equal amount of mess on both. 

He had no right to get that truck. No right at all. But you couldn’t argue with him when he pulled into the driveway of your apartment, a lazy, confident smirk filling out his features. He pulled the classic move of leaning against the truck’s door, arms crossed to give his biceps a chance to flex right in your face. If that wasn’t enough, he hadn’t changed out of his Navy Khaki’s, toothpick between his lips and aviators on his face. 

He knew what he was doing.

Every ride since then had been the same. His hands squeezing your thigh, fleeting glances here and there, all too teasing comments out of the blue. That man was conditioning you — and fuck if it wasn’t working. Before you knew it, your thighs would clench the moment you got into his truck, mouth salivating simply at the sight of the bed. Your mind wouldn’t give you rest, not when he revved the engine and let you feel the bass against your seat. Not when he’d play the heaviest, dirtiest songs and drive down an old dirt road, watching your eyes glaze over and your mouth part in the prettiest of sounds. 

Fuck it.

Your hands slam against the bed of his truck, and you used the force to push you up and over until your thighs are firmly planted on either sides of his hips. He made this problem, and he’d sure as hell fix it.

“There’s my pretty thing…” He purrs, hands firm on your hips as he bucks up into you. 

You mewl a pretty, breathy sound, eyes fluttering as you flop against his chest. The little energy you had to climb him has been spent, leaving your hands to rest against his chest and claw at his faded Navy shirt. Your mouth presses firmly against his neck, and his hand grips your scalp and pushes you further. The man always has a thing for marks, especially on his own body. 

“C’mon, hun… show ‘em fuckers what you can do…” His hips grind against yours, other hand snaking around your waist to ease you into a steady rhythm. 

He yanks your head back, releasing your scalp to press two fingers in between your lips. You eagerly suck the digits, far too used to the motion to think. All that runs through your mind is the haze of pleasure and the scent of sex already thick in the tent. Your tongue laps eagerly at those thick fingers, eyes rolling at the salty taste that coats them.

The hand around your waist strips you of your pajama bottoms, easily slipping off your underwear and holding you against himself. His hands swap places, tugging them away from from your mouth to see the spit drip down your lips.

“So messy…”

His dry fingers focus on that pleasure spot between your thighs, long strokes up and down just to tease. Edging that pleasure, keeping you high on your toes and drunk off your mind. And when his mouth wraps around your soft, perky nipples, the howl you let out might truly be mistaken for a jackal by the team. 

It takes a moment for your clouded, pleasure-filled mind to recognize the movements of his tongue. But when you feel the pattern of letters, you nearly cum right then and there. The pilot makes a mess of your chest, never relenting his sucks and licks and certainly never easing up on his strokes.

He releases your nipple with a sweet pop, eyes glittering dangerously. “Gotta be quiet, hun… don’t want the team peeking in, do ya?”

Fuck if that didn’t make you twitch.

“Perv…” He hisses, nipping your neck and forcing your head close to his chest with his dry hand, ignoring your hips for now. “My pretty, filthy little perv…”

You don’t get a chance to react. Before you know it, your face meets the cold bed of his truck. You hadn’t even noticed that he’d moved the blanket, but fuck if it wasn’t sexy as all hell to be forced against it. The cool metal shines from your spit.

“I know all about your little kink, darlin’…” Jakes fingers prod at your tight hole, slipping one finger in before curling it. “Can’t wait to finish this fucking trip… can’t wait to figure out how many damn ways I can fuck you in, on, and against this goddamn RHO…”

Tears pool on your lashes at his words, oh so humiliating yet oh so hot. He knocks the wind out of you not a second later, three fingers working to open you up, dragging against that pad of nerves deep within you. You fight against his hand to throw your head back and cry from the pleasure, but you’re left with your cheek firm against the truck bed, drool and tears pooling.

He feels the warmth of your insides clamping down on his fingers, that telltale warning you always give when you’re close. But you don’t get release just yet. No, he has other plans for you. You don’t fight when he hauls you up and onto your back. He’s rock hard because of you, dragging his wet tip against you before pressing an inch inside of you.

He always goes slow with you when he starts. The last thing he wants is to genuinely injure you. But once he’s in, once he recognizes that movement of your shoulders falling lax and walls easing up…

He goes fucking feral.

One arm holds Jake upright, his chest firm against yours to keep you pinned. The other if keeping your head pressed against his neck, lips stretching into a smile as he feels your familiar bites. You bite him, and you bite him hard. If he doesn’t bleed, he’ll sure as hell bruise. The thought makes his cock twitch, dragging the thickness in and out of you, veins pulsing against your walls. 

Your head spins, eyes rolled back as you babble incoherently. Nothing else mattered but the feel of his cock inside of you, that familiar warmth sending your mind into a frenzy. You pant and cry like a hound, the sweet sounds muffled by his sweat-slick skin. 

“That’s it baby… that’s it, c’mon… c’mon darlin’…” He licks and nips your earlobe, pants and moans falling from his own lips.

And you’re so close. So, so fucking close. All you want is to have him cum deep inside of you — to fill you up and mark you as his. To feel the thick wetness spill out from your roughed-up hole, to feel his tongue clean you up.

But he doesn’t give that to you. Not quite.

“Cum for me, hun… cum all over my fucking truck…”

He works you until you cum, wetness pooling beneath you on the black metal of his truck. And instead of summing inside of you like you so often to and he so often complies, he pulls out and lets his white-hot ropes spill out freely. Some of the sticky mess coats your thighs and abused hole, but most land on the metal beneath you.

You gasp, eyes glazed over as your head spins. Not only has your orgasm been ripped out of you like a goddamn pull-tab, but you’re flipped onto your belly before you get a chance to recover. You glance up to see him smirking down at you, a newer, more dangerous look in his eyes. His grip tightens in your scalp, the muscles in his arms flexing as he does so.

“Clean up your mess, you nasty little perv…” He purrs, pushing you down roughly until your lips hover over the mix of cum that coats his truck. “Clean your mess like a good little fuck…”

——

Bonus:

Nat is the first to speak the following morning when Jake slips out of the tent, you still sound asleep. Her eyes focus on glaring at your boyfriend. “Y’know… the RHO is soundproof. Just for reference.”

Rueben exhales deeply, rubbing the sleep from his face as he sits next to an equally exhausted Javy.

“Please use that tip. Mick’ is the only one with noise-cancelling headphones…”

The shit-eating grin your boyfriend has for the rest of the trip is unlike any of his smirks you’ve seen before.

[midnightfantasiez]

Twisted Love | 하나 (chp. 1)

SUMMARY: you were certain that you would never find love nor ever lose your virginity throughout university, that is until a man named Lee Sangyeon came into the picture and offered to become your tutor; in exchange for keeping your grades up, and most importantly, teaching you everything you needed to know about sex. it was all just for fun & games, that is until one of you started to develop feelings for the other.

PAIRING: tutor!Sangyeon x afab!reader

GENRE: smut (18+ MDNI!!)

WARNINGS: frat parties whoopie 🤠, alcohol consumption, Sangyeon is such a flirt dear god, petnames (sweetheart, princess, good girl, baby), reader gets drunk, kissing, oral (reader receiving), Sangyeon's goddamn tongue 😮‍💨, foreplay, cum tasting (Sangyeon forces reader to 😃), size kink, readers loses their virginity to Sangyeon, p in v sex, unprotected sex (be careful irl folks), cursing, multiple orgasms

WORD COUNT: 3,535

A/N: and so the chaos begins 😈 shoutout to both @sungbeam @momhwa-agenda for beta reading this for me!! 💗

send me an ask/comment to join the series taglist! those in my permanent taglist will automatically be added!

The loud, blaring music was the only thing that resonated within your eardrums as you tried your best to navigate the fraternity house with a glass of Long Island Iced Tea in your hand. It didn’t help that the entire venue was dimly lit and crowded, no matter which corner you tried to escape to. 

It was the day right before the new semester started, and your roommate convinced you to join the frat party hosted by the co-ed sorority house just down the block from your apartment. To commemorate both of you finishing up your first year and venturing into the next, your roommate decided it was about time you both stepped out of your comfort zone and had a little fun before hell started the following day. 

There was a problem, though: you weren’t much of a party scene type of girl. Sure, you drink a little bit occasionally, but frat parties were definitely out of the question. On the other hand, your roommate often heads down to the local bars every weekend to get wasted and return home during the wee hours of the day. If only you both didn’t have 8 am classes every single day (because, well, being a law student sucked), you were pretty sure that your roommate would’ve gone out every single night if she could. 

But it was totally fine with you, though—you are both still good friends, so you often just turn a blind eye to her drinking habits. In fact, sometimes, she was the perfect friend to go to whenever you needed drinking advice; she was the one who broke you out of your shell and ventured into the whole new world of alcohol consumption anyway. 

Thanks to her, she managed to drag you out of the house and attend this frat party with her because you promised to spend more time with her after finals were over after turning down multiple of her offers during the previous semester. Now, there was no escape for you since you were free from studies, and your part-time job didn’t really need your assistance until several weeks later; you had no choice but to give in. 

You were constantly linking your arms with her wherever you went, staying close to her at all times because, quite frankly, you struggled with social anxiety. But as long as you were close to your roommate, everything would be much more bearable than it was.

However, at some point, you unintentionally slipped your arms off her, and she probably didn’t notice either, as she blended into the crowd of strangers fairly well. Now, you were just standing in the middle of the room, groups of people constantly walking past you. Immediately, you started to panic—the alcohol in your system was also giving you a hard time as you tried your best to look for your friend since you were slowly starting to get tipsy. 

But you were determined that you needed to reunite with your roommate no matter what, so you tried your best to push through the crowd with the glass of cocktail in hand, hoping that she hadn’t gone too far away and that you would be able to find her as soon as you could. 

That was until you unintentionally bumped into someone, and the alcohol in your system was once again slowly disrupting your senses. As you try your best to squint your eyes and look up to who it is, you are greeted by a somewhat built tall man leaning down to your eye level, trying to start a little conversation with you.

“Hey, are you lost, pretty little thing?” 

You were met by a tall black-haired male, about 176cm tall, holding a glass of whiskey in his hand as he began looking at you from top to bottom. Even when you were tipsy, you could clearly examine his well-built body and how good he looked. You had no idea such good-looking students resided in the sorority house. 

“O-Oh, yeah…I mean no…I’m supposed to look for my friend…” 

“Hmm, what does she look like? Perhaps I could help you find her?”

“Oh no! It’s okay; I can handle it myself—”

Before you could even finish your sentence, you began losing your balance. You were about to stumble to the ground until a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, preventing you from actually having that impact. 

God, this is why you hated alcohol. 

“I don’t think you’re in a very good state to go hunting for your friend, sweetheart. Let’s go get some water from the pantry,” the male insisted, and he began guiding you all the way to the kitchen, which wasn’t located too far from where you were standing. He immediately made you sit on one of the chairs surrounding the dining table. He quickly fetched warm water in a glass and handed it to you. 

At this point, your subconsciousness was slowly fading away, and you were still holding onto your cocktail, not wanting to let it go. In return, the male himself had to help unwrap your fingers surrounding the glass of alcohol and place it far away from you. Once he did so, he gently placed the glass of water in your hands, guiding you to drink it while you began whining like a baby.

“I don’t wanna~ Give me back my cocktail~” You slurred. 

“I’d like to think you’ve had enough alcohol for the night, princess. You’re going to blackout soon if you take another sip of that,” the male replied while he was slowly trying to push your arms down from trying to take the alcoholic beverage located on the dining table. 

“Who are you to tell me what to do~ You don’t even know me~” You whined, slowly getting slightly annoyed with everything. 

“I am certainly gentlemen enough to step in and stop a stranger from doing something they might regret later on,” he insisted. 

“No, no, no! I don’t like it! Give it back to me!” You were starting to raise your voice a little, but it wasn’t loud enough to cause a commotion; well, technically, this was a frat party where loud music was just blasting all over the entire house. 

But the male wasn’t going to back off so easily. “Princess, please stop it; you’re not going to last—” 

The next thing that happens is you dive into his embrace and seal your lips with his. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and began kissing him messily, devouring the hints of whiskey that were left on his lips. The male himself was initially taken aback; his eyes widened, and he did not know what to do. Yet, you were devouring him hungrily, and you eventually tried slipping your tongue into his mouth, and that was when he knew he was fucked. 

In response, he kissed you back aggressively, tilting his head to the side to gain more access to your mouth. And boy, did he enjoy the little hints of cocktail left behind on your lips. If this is what you have always heard about your roommate telling you how making out when you’re drunk looks and feels like, it definitely exceeded your expectations. You were on cloud nine, the tension and lust in the air being all prominent, causing you to crave for more. 

Suddenly, your hands slowly creep up on his built chest, touching them as if it were something all brand new to you. How rock solid it felt, and how badly you wanted to lift his shirt actually to feel it bare— 

“Sweetheart,” he panted. 

“Y-Yeah?” You asked, all while still kissing the male aggressively. 

“Do you wanna see what’s underneath?” 

“Hell, yes, I fucking do.” 

He smirked in between the kisses. “Well then, let’s take this somewhere else, shall we? Somewhere more private and where we will be having loads of fun together.” 

You couldn’t remember exactly how you ended up in one of the empty bedrooms upstairs in the sorority house. All you remembered briefly was how he picked you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around him all while he took you upstairs, lips still intact with one another. 

The next thing that happened was that you were lying flat on the bed, your pants were completely stripped off from you and tossed on the ground, and the male himself was situated in between your thighs, slowly leaving trails of kisses all the way close to your cunt. 

As soon as he reached your underwear, he began rubbing it slowly and gently, causing you to elicit a moan as you arched your back from that sensation. He knew what he was doing, and it felt so good. 

“H-Hey…can you…uughh…can you kiss m-my…” 

“You want me to eat you out?” Well, that was pretty straightforward.

“Hnngh…yeah…please…” you begged. 

“Only if you call my name, sweetheart. It’s Sangyeon.” 

“S-Sangyeon…please…” 

If only you knew how pretty his name sounded coming out of your mouth, oh god, how badly he wanted to give you whatever you asked for. 

“Now that’s a good girl,” he smirked as he pulled your underwear down and tossed it straight towards the ground; the cold air that was hitting your now wet spot suddenly sent a little wave of current down your spine. 

As he slowly made his way back to your cunt, he noticed how you were already dripping wet, and he grinned at the sight that was in front of him. Your face was flushed, chest moving up and down heavily, and god, the way you looked so adorable in his eyes—making him want to make you cum as much as he possibly could. 

“Baby, you look absolutely gorgeous right now. I’m going to devour you up so bad and suck you dry, not leaving a single drop of your juices behind.” 

With that, he immediately connected his lips to your wet cunt, your moans now much louder and more prominent than before. If you thought his fingers were deadly enough, apparently, he had another wildcard up his sleeves—his tongue. 

Your head was spinning as his tongue throbbed in and out of your cunt, picking up his pace gradually, where he decided to yank you slightly closer to his mouth, causing him to penetrate his tongue deeper into you. Your hands gripped the sheets of the bed tightly, and naturally, you arched your hips up in hopes of wanting him to eat you out more. 

“Hnngh, Sangyeon! I-I’m going to cum!!” 

You were pretty sure that he heard that because the next thing that happened, he quickened his pace, and within seconds, your liquids came gushing out from you, and that didn’t stop him from licking every single drop. 

As you slowly came down from your high, he was gently kissing all of your sensitive areas around your bud before lifting his face to move up towards you; now, both faces were just merely inches apart. 

“Taste your own cum, baby. Tell me how it is,” he mentioned quickly before diving down, locking his lips with yours, his thumb pulling your chin down slightly to ensure you have gotten every single drop left on his lips. 

Once he pulled away so that you both could breathe deeply, he gently caressed your face before asking the question.

“How does it taste, princess? Did I do a good job?” 

“Y-Yes…It tastes so good…” 

Instantly, a smile plastered across his face, and he leaned down for another peck on your lips. “Is there anything else I could do to pleasure you this evening, princess?” 

There was something that you have always wanted to do from the back of your mind, but you have always been afraid to try it out. Ever since you entered college, you have always felt pressure around you when most of your friends have told you how they have already lost their virginity, making you feel like you’re still a little child waiting for your parents to get you your favourite strawberry flavoured lollipop from your local candy store. 

However, you were also terrified of losing it, especially when you have heard horror stories on campus about how some girls have had traumatic experiences doing it with people that they didn’t really love or trust. 

But it was always on your to-do list before you graduated from college, and if you were to ever do it, you would definitely not do it when you were sober. What exactly was the reason? You have no idea. Perhaps losing it when you were tipsy or drunk would have felt ten times better for you so that you wouldn’t have to remember about it much. 

Given the fact that this Sangyeon guy has treated you nothing but well so far throughout the party, you figured that he probably isn’t those bad guys that people would tell you to stay away from. Besides, you were certain that you wouldn’t be meeting anyone from the party ever again when the new semester began. 

It’s now or never. 

“I want you, Sangyeon. I want you so bad.” 

At first, you immediately tilted your face towards the side, not wanting to see the expression on his face as you said that. Who were you kidding, asking a random stranger to take away your virginity just like that? If he were a fuckboy, he probably would’ve done it right away without even having to wait for you to pose the question. 

God, this is going to be another awkward moment—

Immediately, you felt his fingers wrapped under your chin as he turned you to look back at him, his face now merely inches away from you. 

“If you want me to fuck you good, then I suggest you keep your eyes opened and watch carefully, baby.” 

He then pushes himself back up and immediately lifts his shirt all the way up out from his head and throws it to the floor. You were pretty sure you were drooling at this point because you finally saw his bare, well-built body in person—rock solid toned abs, big built chest, and god, his body proportions were to just die for. 

Before you could even comment on his body, he quickly yanked his pants and boxers down, revealing his now huge erected cock that he was rubbing slowly. 

God, it’s a hell of a monster cock. 

“Like what you see, princess?”

You quickly snap back from reality as he now slowly positions his cock directly onto your cunt, the tip now rubbing your entrance as he crawls up to you again. 

“Are you ready, sweetheart? Ready to take it all in?” 

You gulped. “Y-Yeah…I guess…”

He smiled and giggled at the sight of you. “You look so cute, do you know that? Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” 

Immediately, one of his hands finds its way to yours and interlocks them while his other hand helps push his giant cock into you, causing you to yelp and shut your eyes tightly from the impact.

Oh my god, you actually did it. 

“Hey, baby, you okay?”

Trying your best to find the right words as you panted, you slowly responded to the male while your other free hand grabbed onto his arms. “Y-Yeah…I just…” 

“I’ll give you a moment to adjust, hmm? Tell me whenever you’re ready; I’ll start off slow.” 

After a few seconds of calming your heartbeat down a little, you slowly give him a nod, indicating that he could continue with what he was doing. The pace started slow but impactful, your walls were absolutely tight as hell, and his cock was just trying its best to loosen and break them apart. 

“Let me guess,” he panted. “This is your first time doing it, huh?”

“W-What? How did you know?”

“Oh, I know alright; I’m pretty much a veteran when it comes to sex.” 

What in God’s mind made him say that out loud? 

As much as you wanted to comment on that, you were so out of your mind to even think straight because Sangyeon was now thrusting faster into you, knowing that your walls weren’t as tight as they were before. 

“S-Sangyeon!” 

“Use your words, baby. Tell me, how are you feeling?”

“I-It…it feels so good…aaahh!” 

“You like it when I fill you up with my cum, baby?” 

“Y-Yes, I want you, I want you so bad!” 

That was all he needed to hear, and he reconnected his lips with yours for a couple of seconds, kissing you feverishly before breaking the kiss to pound you much faster and harder. In return, you suddenly felt a knot in your stomach, and that’s when you knew you were near. 

“S-Sangyeon…” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“I-I’m going to cum…” you whispered, desperately trying to warn him beforehand. 

“Then cum for me then, tell me. Where exactly do you want me?”

“I-Inside! Please! Cum inside of me!!” You screamed. 

It was as if you both had the perfect timing as you both came together, filling each other up with your own respective liquids. You let out a deep gasp from your orgasm, and Sangyeon groaned out loud before he collapsed on top of you. 

It took a few moments and a little breather before he lifted himself up a little, desperately trying to find your lips again and devour them slowly. You then moved your fingers up into his hair, slowly enjoying every bit of feeling how soft it is. 

As your exhaustion slowly takes over you, your eyelids begin to fall, and you finally pass out into dreamland, his soft, plump lips on yours being the very last thing you remember.

You were awakened by the sound of your alarm coming from your phone as you tried your best to reach for it, which was placed on your nightstand. 

When you finally squint your eyes to turn off the alarm, you shoot up from bed based on what you see on your screen. 

You had 10 minutes left to prepare for your first class of the year. 

Immediately, you hurried out of bed and dashed right into your toilet, trying to clean yourself up within 5 minutes so you would have the other remaining 5 to dash to campus.

You didn’t even bother putting on makeup for the day (which you would usually wear lightly); at this point, you only cared about being presentable and not looking like a homeless college student who got kicked out of her apartment.

There goes my effort to actually make a good first impression at the start of the new semester. 

You couldn’t even say a simple good morning to your roommate who made your favourite toasted cream cheese bagel as you dashed straight out the door, having only one of the straps on your backpack slung over your shoulder.

As you made your way towards campus, the usual short route that would’ve taken 5 minutes if you walked and 2 minutes, if you dashed, felt much longer. But you knew that it was completely your fault since you were the one who overslept and fucked up your sleeping schedule.

Or did you?

That was when questions began popping up in your mind. The last time you remembered you were still awake and conscious was when you were at a frat party with your roommate.

A frat party…

That’s right.

You went to a frat party at the sorority house not far from your apartment, and then you remembered getting separated from your roommate and trying your best to locate her throughout the house…

…and you bumped into a man named Sangyeon.

Fuck, you actually lost your virginity last night. 

The next thing you knew, you had already arrived right in front of your lecture hall, and you quickly took a quick breath and tried to compose yourself, shaking off all of the thoughts that had happened the night before.

Screw it, I’ll deal with whatever happened last night later.

You quickly navigated the entire auditorium, only to find that the front seat was left that wasn’t taken. You absolutely hated sitting in front, especially when you weren’t at your best self this morning. But you didn’t have much choice left as your professor walked into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

You reluctantly sat down and took your laptop out, turning it on while you began to hear your professor’s voice in the background.

As you were busy trying to rummage through your bag to find your textbooks, you began hearing the girls around you squeal, making you tilt your head up to see what was happening. 

That was when you wished you could hide under the table and vanish from campus right this second.

A tall, black-haired male walked into the hall with a folder in his arms and made his way right next to your professor while introducing himself. His neatly styled hair was parted to the sides. He also wore a black blazer over his white tee, which, quite frankly, made him look effortlessly attractive.

“Class, this gentleman right here is Lee Sangyeon, and he will be the teacher’s assistant for this semester.” 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

A/N: me as i write this sangyeon series: "why do i do this to myself 😃" (no yall do not want to know the endless amount of brainrot i went through writing this)

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[tuiccim]

Though I Have Never Read It (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2160

Warnings: Mild angst

Summary: Seven years later and you found yourself a part of the Avengers Compound. When Bucky joins the team, you wonder if he'll remember you.

A/N: Special thanks to my hype princess & beta reader @whisperlullaby.

Though I Have Never Read It Masterlist

Seven years later, you were annoying Tony as you made adjustment to the quinjet’s vertical thrust system. 

“That doesn’t go there,” Tony says in an exasperated tone. 

“It does now,” you singsong back. 

“If you move that-”

“It streamlines the ducting for the forward vertical thrust deflector while allowing the wiring to not be compromised by this unnecessary catalyzer,” you say with a raised eyebrow. 

“No, that, uh…” Tony studies your work for a moment, “works. Somehow, Hmph, carry on.” 

“Thanks,” you snark. 

He turns away nonchalantly, “I guess you heard you’re getting a new roommate. Housemate? Compoundmate? Whatever.”

“I got the file this morning but I haven’t had a chance to go over it. Meeting’s in 30 minutes,” you say, checking the time. 

“Probably should read the file before the meeting,” he says, pointedly. 

“Yeah. I’m finished here. Would you like to check my work, boss?” Your voice is laced with sarcasm. You shared a lovingly abrasive rapport with the billionaire genius. He respected you immensely even if he did feel the need to question your decisions at times. Tony had handpicked you to work at the compound. While he loved doing most of the designs and development himself, he also believed in having a capable team who could be there when he couldn't. You were one of the first he had invited to the compound and he had requested you be one of the few non-Avenger residents. It meant you were on call a good bit for emergencies but the job came with its perks and you accepted the position quickly. 

While Tony looked over your work, you pulled up the file on the new recruit. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, the Winter Soldier. Your heart seemed to stop as you stared at his picture. You recognized him. The jaw line and those blue eyes were unmistakable as they stared up at you from your tablet. James. Your mind pulled you back to the cabin and that one night that you dreamed of often, but rarely let yourself indulge in the memory of. That night had changed you and the next day had forced you to return to New York and take control of your life. You were grateful for it but you still had so many questions. You stared at the face that haunted you and wondered what if-

“Looks good to me, Abu. You’re almost as genius as me,” Tony smirks as he emerges from the back of the jet. “Hey!”

“What?” you look up quickly. 

“Looks good. You okay?”

“Fine,” you say, turning back to the tablet. 

“Barnes?” Tony looks over your shoulder, “Familiar with the Winter Soldier?”

“Uh, I’ve heard about him.”

“Well, you’re about to hear more. Meeting time. Let’s go, Abu.”

“Stop calling me that,” you grouse at the stupid nickname. 

“Never,” Tony says as he holds the door open for you. 

You follow him to the conference room, dumbfounded as you continue to go over the file on James. Bucky. James. Bucky. Fuck, this was confusing. You barely hear what is going on around you as the group of compound residents excluding Steve, go through the motions of the meeting. Should you tell them about your encounter? How the hell do you explain that? What if he remembers you? What if he doesn’t? You debate with yourself as the meeting drones on. 

Natasha finally breaks, “Tony, can we get this over with? We all know Bucky and his past.”

“Not everyone does,” Tony retorts. 

“It’s a done deal. Let’s just get on with it.” Sam says. 

“Fine. Any questions, comments, or concerns? Okay, hearing none, meeting adjourned,” Tony says quickly and then walks out. 

You jump up and follow him out, “Tony!”

“What’s up?” Tony turns around to walk backwards as you talk to him. 

“How, how much does he remember? From his time as the Winter Soldier?” you ask. 

“I don’t know. He says he remembers all of the people he was sent after.”

“What about past encounters? Won’t some people remember him and it will cause problems? Or vice versa?” 

“Well, he killed my parents and I’m still bringing him in. If anybody has bigger beef than that,” he shrugs.

“Oh my God, Tony. I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” you blanch. 

“Look, he didn’t choose it. Steve is vouching for him and Shuri has cleared him. Is there a problem I should know about?” Tony eyes you curiously. 

“No, I’m fine. I was just wondering. I’m gonna get back to the hangar.”

“You sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah. See ya later, Tony,” you give a fleeting smile. When you get to the hangar, you wander around for a minute before finding a seat in the quinjet to go over the file again. You read and reread it but it seems like you can’t absorb it. So many questions were answered as you read it and so many more formed. How were you supposed to do this? How could you face him? Your phone dings and you jump. Realizing you had been sitting there for nearly two hours as your mind had run amok. Shaking yourself, you look at the message on your phone. Mark was confirming he would bring Eva to you tomorrow for her to stay the weekend. You text him an excited emoji and head to your bedroom. 

You went through the next two days as if by rote. You worked and went through the motions as if nothing was amiss but you were preoccupied. A pair of blue eyes haunted your mind and you had to remind yourself over and over again that one night seven years ago meant nothing. He probably didn’t remember you and if he did, you were most likely just one in a long line of conquests. You decide to let his behavior be your guide. If he recognizes you, maybe you can get some answers to the questions that crowded your mind whenever you let yourself drift back there. If he didn’t remember, you could go on as if he was just a new member of the team. At least, that’s what you told yourself. 

After lunch on Friday, you managed to lose yourself while taking apart one of the ATV’s engines for a retrofit. The task was labor intensive and exactly what you needed. Between that and the earbuds blaring music, you were absorbed to the point that hearing a throat clear loudly and your name being called didn’t cause you to twitch. When a gentle hand landed on your shoulder, you jumped and stared slack-jawed at the three men standing there. 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,” Steve Rogers gives a bemused smile. 

“Uh, no, sorry. I was distracted,” you trip over your words while pulling your earbuds out. 

You smile at him and Sam before turning to Bucky. Pasting on a smile, you extend your hand and say calmly, “You must be Sgt. Barnes. Welcome to the compound.”

“Thanks. Call me Bucky, please,” he gives a small smile. 

 Your heart does a flip-flop. He was still the most beautiful person you had seen close up but you mentally berated yourself for the feelings that coursed through you. Reminding yourself to keep that night buried, you study him for a moment. While he is looking at you curiously, there didn’t seem to be any spark of recognition. 

“Okay, Bucky,” you give a polite smile and launch into a quick spiel about what you do. You explain that you were a resident of the compound and on call for emergencies. “Oh, and Shuri sent me the specs on your arm, so if you have any issues, I’m familiar with the tech.”

“You- you would be the one working on my arm?” Bucky’s brow furrows. 

You fidget and glance around before saying, “Um, if you aren’t comfortable with me, I can hand it over to another engineer or Tony can handle it.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just surprised that Shuri is letting anyone else work on it.”

“Well, when I said specs, I meant more of an exhaustive manual. She and I have worked together a few times. She trusts me. I hope you can, too.”

“Better you than Tony,” Bucky chuckles. 

Feeling you confidence restored, you raise an eyebrow playfully, “Probably best. Tony said he planned to put an override in your arm so he can force you to make some interesting gestures.”

Sam laughs, “Oh, man, please let Tony work on your arm. That would be hilarious.”

“No way in hell,” Bucky grouses. 

“Our head mechanic here is definitely your best option. The improvements and upgrades she’s made to the tech has been impressive,” Steve reassures Bucky. 

“Aww, thanks, Cap,” you sass. 

“Just watch out. She’s a bit of a prankster herself,” Sam eyes you with a smirk. 

“Come on, Sam, it was one time,” you say innocently before turning to Bucky with a devilish smile, “I’m harmless.”

“Oh, great, another one,” Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Scared?” you tease him.

“Terrified,” he deadpans. 

“This is gonna be fun to watch,” Sam grins. 

“Don’t encourage them,” Steve groans. 

“Says the one of us who jumps out of planes without a chute,” you laugh. 

“You what?” Bucky exclaims, face darkening as he stares at his best friend. 

“It was necessary,” Steve says calmly. 

“You’re such a punk!” Bucky growls.

“As you can see, I’m fine. Jerk.” Steve elbows him. 

“Okay!” you say forcefully before a full blown argument starts. Glancing at the clock on the wall, you decide it’s time to wrap up this little interlude. “It was very nice to meet you, Bucky. I’m sure we’ll see each other around. I need to finish this up. Enjoy the rest of your tour. As much as you can with these two.”

“Hey!” Sam puts a hand to his chest as if wounded. 

“Whiner,” you throw at him as you turn back to the engine. 

“One more thing,” Bucky says quickly. 

“Yeah?” you eye him.

“What’s your nickname?”

“Nickname?” 

“What does Tony call you? He seems to have one for everyone.”

“What’s yours?” you challenge. 

“Manchurian Candidate.”

You snort a laugh at the parallel. “He calls me Abu.”

“Abu?”

“I referred to myself in my interview with him as a glorified grease monkey. He thought that was funny.” It dawns on you as Bucky glances at Steve that he isn’t familiar with the reference. “Abu is from a movie called Aladdin. He’s Aladdin’s monkey sidekick.”

“Aladdin, like from Arabian Nights?” Bucky asks, making you smile.

“Exactly, but this was the kid version. It’s fun. Great music. Anyway, I really do need to get this finished.”

“We’ll catch you later,” Steve says, motioning for the other two to follow him. 

“Have fun,” you say. You reach for the socket wrench you need but something makes you glance up before resuming. The other two had exited but Bucky stood at the door, staring at you with a little dent between his brows. Your heart stops for a moment but then his forehead smooths and he gives a small wave before closing the door. 

Hours later, you had put the last bolt in place and washed the worst of the grease from your hands when the door to the hanger squeaks open. Your friend Mark walks in followed by six year old Eva. You smile brightly as the little girl runs into your arms, “Eva, my diva!” 

“I missed you!" Eva says as she hugs you fiercely. 

"I missed you, too, my little love." You smile at Mark and exchange kisses on the cheek, "Hey. How's it going?"

"It's good. How about with you?" He asks.

"Busy but I like it that way," you wink.

"Are you good for the weekend?" He studies you.

"Of course! I wouldn't pass up the time with my favorite diva!" You tickle Eva's sides as you reassure him. "Go. Have some time for yourself. Party, skydive, grocery shop, whatever you need to do. Besides, Eva and I have a full schedule for the weekend. Don't we?"

"Uh-huh! Bye, Daddy! I love you!" Eva gives him a big hug and he reluctantly leaves.

"What do you want to do tonight?"

"Movie! Movie! Movie!" Eva jumps up and down as she squeals the word. 

"Alright! How about pizza?" You ask.

"Yes, yes, yes! Can I have coke?" Eva asks with a hope filled expression.

"Uh, no, ma'am. The last thing you need is caffeine. You can have some lemonade, though."

"Okay, let's go," She pulls on your hand. She's comfortable in the compound. She spends every other weekend with you and has learned her way around. "You smell like a car."

You laugh at her bluntness, "Thanks, kid. Okay, shower for me first. Then pizza and movies."

"Yay!"

You let the little girl lead you out of the hangar. You were so preoccupied with her you missed the blue-eyed supersoldier watching you from the other entrance.

Part Three

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[onlycosmere]

Marasi and the Ghostbloods

Comatose: In Lost Metal, you had Marasi ultimately reject Kelsier’s offer of joining the Ghostbloods, and I think that's a decision we've seen some division on with the fans. So I'm curious, what’s your analysis and thoughts on that? Because it was an interesting and fun character choice.

Brandon Sanderson: Yeah, I'm not surprised there's some division of fans; there was division among the beta readers on this. And there is even—like, I, as I was writing the book, left myself the option to have her join if I wanted her to. I didn't lock myself in in that part of the outline.

My instinct was this isn't a good place for her. And so why…? And then when I got to the end am like, no, this isn't a good place for her. So, you know, Marasi’s journey through the books has been, "how do I change the world?", "how much am I interested in changing the world?", and "how much do I change the world?". Kind of in conversation with the dreams that she had as a younger person and the reality that she's now living?

And one of the things I wanted to deal with in this book was this idea that she is kind of worried that she's just— she's becoming a cop, with all that that entails, right? That there's a culture to that and whatnot. And should she be doing more? And all of that. And so that did lead a lot toward the whole Ghostbloods thing, right? And I expected a lot of people to be like, "Oh, yeah, well, here's the easy answer."

The problem is Kelsier is just such a terrible match to Marasi, right? Like personality-wise, you know, Kelsier is about the shadows. He honestly believes that if all the information were known that it would be worse for the world. He can share it in a small group. And he's got this sort of "I need to take care of people and I need to do it my way" sort of philosophy, which is really antithetical to somebody like Marasi, who, you know, her whole thing is "we need to be better as a society, not as individuals, and we need to be—". And so I at the end decided this is just a really bad place for her, right?

But she needed a place. Actually, the first draft of the book, I didn't have her make the decision to go into politics. She had rejected politics in the first book, right? She’s like, "I'm not going that way, that’s not that's not for me." And I went double back on that. I'm like, no, this is probably the right route for her, which is nice because like, it it kind of snapped together for me at that point when I did the revision to be like, no, she does need something. If she's going to turn down Kelsier, she needs something.

You know, you will have some fun in Era 3. Era 3, I don't know…? I warned you I might spoil unwritten books… Have I said this? I might have said this—you guys will know—Era 3’s working title for the series is Ghostbloods, right? And so like you know Mistborn: Ghostbloods is what Era 3 is going to be called, most likely. So if you were sad, well, just remember if Marasi joined the Ghostbloods we're still skipping decades. You would not have been able to see her as a member of the Ghostbloods. But that's what the name of the next series is going to be.

[jpitha]

Yet Another Writing Advice Post

I'm about to type about some stuff about writing. It's pretty Meta and feel free to skip this one if you're waiting for more about Gord and Fen, that's coming soon. It's not for anyone specifically, it's for me mostly, but you might get something out of it too.

As a writer - especially as an amateur writer who eventually wants to get paid for writing - one of the things I struggle with is what am I writing for? Is it just for me? Is it for my readers? Is it for sale?

Lots of writing advice for newbies boils down to "write the things you want to read, do it your way, fuck the haters."

This is good.

I mean it. It's going to sounds like I don't agree with it, so I'm saying right here off the jump, if you're just starting out, this is an unalloyed good. Write what you want how you want.

But.

If you want to write things that other people will read - not even writing things that people will pay you for - you also need to expand your skills. You should get better at writing. So as to not waste your readers time, but also so that you're better able to translate what's in your head into words on a screen/page so that others can see the cool as fuck things you thought up.

The only way to get good at something is to be bad at it for a long time.

It's hard for me to remember this. Every expert that you see, every skilled creation you come across was made by a person who did piles and piles and piles of terrible art first. I hate this! I don't want to suck, I never want that.

That does not make it untrue however.

I am a mediocre writer.

I am not saying this to fish for compliments, or to get positive reinforcement. It's the truth. I am trying every day to get better - and I am getting better! It's one of the reasons I like rewriting my old stuff. But, me assuming I am A Good Writer Now is pure hubris.

In an attempt to get better, I joined an online writing group. (I don't think anyone from there reads this Tumblr, but if they do, Hi!) Everyone in that group is skilled, probably more skilled than me. That's normal and to be expected. Everyone is good about offering crits and nobody is mean, but also it's not a hugbox. We're all there to get better and write.

Last week I put more effort into an entry than I think I have ever done. I spent real time on it, worked methodically, had a plan, even sought out folks to beta read. Like, I put in the work.

I still didn't win.

The winning entry was one that was almost utterly opaque to me. It wasn't "well that's not for me, but I can see how they'd win," it was pure "I don't like this and I don't understand why they'd win, and yet, here we are"

Why do I mention this?

Well, for one, I'm disappointed that I didn't win. The judges did give me crits on my entry, which was nice, but it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. This is also fine, change takes time. But additionally the things they didn't like were things that I added on purpose. It's important to remember when receiving crits that you don't have to change what you do. It's just like, their opinion man. Brush off crits at your own peril however. They show what others who read your work expected to find and didn't.

It's normal to be sad that you worked hard on something only to find out it wasn't what the judges wanted to read. It's normal to be bummed to realize you aren't as good as you thought you were, and/or that you still have a long way to go.

But then what?

Do you change what your style? Try and write something that you think will appeal? Do you stick to your guns and say "I know what I like, and I will continue to write what I like?"

In the end, you have to decide why you are writing (or drawing or painting or weaving or whatever.) You have to decide who your audience is.

If it's just you? Keep on keeping on, go nuts! Make art however the hell you want. You are an artist, it's still art, you are legitimate.

If it's someone else? Then yeah, maybe work to drift towards something that the like. There's nothing wrong with a little pandering - to a point.

Is it to sell? Now, we're getting into the meat of things. If you want to make a go at doing this full time and making it a jobbity job, you have to start looking at your craft with a much sharper eye. You have to watch trends, follow bandwagons, do the things that bring eyeballs and wallets. Is it distasteful? It can be. Is it necessary? If you want to make money, yeah, unfortunately it is. Do you have to? Nah, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but do it with clear eyes about your prospects vis a vis the publishing world.

As for me?

I once thought that I could get some books published and make a tidy side income. Now? I'm not so sure. I still have it as a 2024 goal to be published anywhere, but I'm pretty sure that if I do get a book out, it'll be self published. I have friends who have agents and who have traditionally published books and the whole process is hard and depressing and not fun.

[porflenet]

Just like you pt. 1 | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

tags: gender neutral, slow burn, platonic!141, canon violence, probably OOC so sorry about that, mercenary!reader, future!reader injure, future!angst/comfort.

C/N: your code name.

word count: 2669

summary: Captain Price had met you while in mission going south, your peculiar way to be a "mercenary" had caught his attention and now you were one of the few people he trusted, calling you any time he needed support, even after he formed the Task Force 141, now it was time to see what his team would think of you.

comment: Thanks @ghosts-cyphera for feeding my crazy idea and for hyping me up to write this!! Hope you enjoy :3 Also! English is not my first language and no beta read so feel free to tell me if anything is wrong! And my militar knowledge is zero, I have a full time job and it's been a looong while I wrote something, I don't know when I will be able to update. Have fun!

 – C/N?

 – Captain Price, it’s been a while. What's up with you?

 – I need your help with a terrorist group.

 – Where are you?

 – Come to London, we will depart from here.

 – Gimme 3 hours, I will be there. 

  Price finished the call and laughed to himself while he continued to prepare for the task ahead, thinking about the first time he had met you in the middle of a mission going south, how you had helped him finish his mission but never once asked to get paid for it, completely unusual for a mercenary like you called yourself, that’s what had caught his attention and made himself sick your services more than once before he formed the 141, and even after that, so you were quite used to deal with Laswell and the rest of the team, more than he thought you would ever be.

  The Captain had asked you more than once to join the military and his team, but you always refused instantly, it was always the only thing you had refused, besides giving any personal information, it took years for him to figure out what your name was, it always amused him how you were like Ghost in this aspect. Always using a mask to hide your identity, only using your code name and being extra cautious around new people, but you were an exemplary soldier, you cringed every time he told you that, so he made sure to call you that every time he could.

  Making his way to check on his team to make sure everything was ready, he found them already packed and talking besides the car who would take them to the airport, a way to make their depart not take too long, since they would go later so you could join them on the plane and get the information you needed for the mission. 

 – Captain! – Soap and Gaz shouted in unison seeing the man approaching their group – Will C/N join us on this mission?

 Ghost huffed while rolling his eyes while Price laughed at their enthusiasm. 

 – Just made the call, they will be here shortly. – Price said, laughing as soon Gaz and Soap cheered loudly, making the rest of the men around them look at them amused, already used to the crazy behavior of the infamous group. 

  The two excited dogs, as Ghost liked to call them, jumped inside the car, already complaining that the Captain and Lieutenant were taking too long. Ghost tried very hard to ignore whatever he felt every time they were told you would join them in a mission, at first it was easy to pinpoint the feeling, distrust, something that all of them shared when they first met you. But now? Ghost watched how the Captain entered the car with the other two still complaining to him to move already and get on, all of them relaxed, as relaxed one can be before a mission, just because you were about to join them. The man adjusted his mask while groaning in response to the complaints, quickly entering the car while thinking to himself that he was also an idiot for feeling somewhat relaxed about your arrival.   

                                                           —

  The Lieutenant didn’t like you at first, at all, making sure it was known by everyone, especially you. It was hard enough to trust people inside the military, now trust a fucking mercenary? For a while he was sure Price had lost his mind the first time he told who you were, a freelancer without loyalty who would fight for whoever paid more. You were beside Price while he presented you for the rest of the team, Gaz and Soap being friendly in the max their suspicious would allow them, while Ghost stayed in the back of the room leaning in the wall with his arms crossed, watching you like he was planning to kill you the moment an opportunity showed up.

  While Price explained the plan again so you would know what to do, you suggested a small change, saying it would give all of you some more time before doing what needed to be done, but before Price could say anything Ghost was the one to speak.

 – We don’t know you, and don’t trust you, I’m not following something you say minutes before we need to fucking invade their base. – The hate in his voice would make anyone feel a chill down their spine, and you did, but you weren’t the type to back down so easily.

  You chuckled to yourself while shaking your head before looking into the Lieutenant’s eyes – I apologize, I didn’t know you were the Captain of this mission. – That was enough to make Ghost lose his composure, going around the table to tower over you.

 – I will not let anyone in here die because a fucking mercenary betray us all. – Ghost didn’t know the exactly reason to why you made him so furious, but you shared the sentiment, taking a deep breath to ignore your need to punch the military bastard.

 – I don’t need your trust, Lieutenant – You said while looking up to face him, your words filled with a venom that ran inside your blood and made you see red. – I don’t trust any of you either, the only one I trust here is Price, you should be thankful that I’m even helping your type of people. 

  Price intervened when he saw Ghost close his fists with enough force to make both his arms tense up, pushing both of you away from each other, spitting orders than neither bothered or cared to listen, while Gaz and Soap watched how both of you looked at each other with such hate that the whole meeting room felt extremely cold, incapable to shake of the dread that crept on them when they noticed how you didn’t back down to Ghost. The man who was almost shaking with rage wasn’t their Lieutenant, it was fucking Ghost, the one who truly wore the skull mask, the one they saw kill and torture multiple people without batting a eye.

  Who exactly are you? And is Price sure you are trustworthy? 

  The first time you worked together with the team, they watched your every move, how little you talked, how you dealt with the few situations that would come up, and all of them agreed silently that their Captain trusted you the same way he trusted them, and you were the same, following his orders and working with him like you two trained together every day.

  Soap was the first to try and approach you, you were cold and sure hadn’t a good first image of them after all the show with Ghost, but he tried anyway, his curiosity to know who you were too big for him to control himself. It didn’t take long for Gaz to follow his steps, but they didn’t make any progress before you left after a successful mission, mostly because on the way back to the safehouse, when both were showering you with questions, that you only hummed or stayed silent in response, Price took them both by the collar and, so gently, told them that if they kept that up they would be doing triple training for one month when they were back to the base, effectively giving back your peace.

  Three more missions and it felt like you already were one of them, for Ghost’s displeasure and Price’s amusement, who watched his team slowly getting used to you, he knew that to get you to feel comfortable to work with them would take a while, the same going for Ghost, who very slowly allowed you to do things without having a shadow glued to your back. – Making sure you wouldn’t do something stupid. – the Lieutenant had said to them at the beginning.

  Price soon found out that watching Ghost’s opinion of you slowly change to be very entertaining, it was clearly he would take longer than the others to get used to you, but what surprised him was how you didn’t seem so preoccupied to keep you guard up, even after what happened with the Lieutenant, but he was a prideful man, even if now he no longer felt the distrust he had at the beginning, he would never admit it, to the amusement of his Captain. 

  Soap and Gaz had managed to break your first wall at the same time they realized they could truly trust you. You had to work with them in an infiltration operation to rescue some hostages, they quickly noticed that the way you operated was like Ghost, to get your trust was something hard to do, but luckily for them, you were actually a lot nicer in the process. Sure you were cold and harsh, extremely professional and hated the idea of showing your face to just anyone, but you didn’t insult them like someone they knew at the beginning, being always respectful and friendly, even when some of the other soldiers would belittle you behind your back, not exactly trying to hide their thoughts.

  After some close calls, and you pulling Soap back to avoid him getting shot, all of you managed to get to the hostages without bigger problems. Gaz was the one more anxious about you dealing with hostages, there was a fine line with people like you, you could be cold and somehow keep your humanity, clinging to everything to keep the most of your moral compass, or you could be the type that lost everything for the power to kill others with such precision, throwing away your morals and feelings to bath yourself and others in blood. He soon noticed you were the first kind,  while you three worked on liberating the hostages, you did your best to sound friendly, using their mother language the best way you could to smoothing them and making sure all of them were ok before moving, watching with interest how you almost beat up one of the soldiers who came as back up for entering the room with a gun and screaming in english they needed to go already. 

  They soon noticed how it did affect the hostages, who didn’t look at you with the same fear and distrust they usually did when they came to their rescue. You guided them to the truck outside with one of the kids in your arms, who wouldn’t stop crying until you picked him up, saying that everything was ok now, that they would survive. Soap and Gaz, who loved to talk and ask questions any time you would allow it, were silent, watching you insist to one of the soldiers that you would go with the hostages, because the kid wouldn’t stop crying if you put him down. It was funny, how they saw such humanity in someone who also insisted on playing the paper of a cold monster, once again, just like someone they knew.

                                                            —

  They were almost at the airport, the Task Force talking excitedly about something, Ghost didn’t really care whatever it was, knowing well it wasn’t about the mission. Choosing to look outside the window to distract himself from the weird feeling inside his chest, his mind replaying all the seven missions he had with you. Ghost would never admit it, but he liked the way you worked, for a mercenary that is, you followed every order coming from Price, doing your job with precision and a focus that he only saw on people who had saw a lot on the military life, but mostly, he was relieved when he noticed that you never tried to push yourself in things that were classified information, whatever that Price gave you was enough, you trusted on their judgment to be doing the right thing, or that’s what you told him when he asked why you never asked for more information on what you needed to do.

  He thought about how something had changed after the mission with the excited dogs, since then, you definitely looked more relaxed working with them, even following some things they would shout or whisper to you in the middle of a fight. But even after seven missions with him, you stayed closed and professional, at first it was exactly what the Lieutenant wanted, and he couldn’t blame you for it after your first meeting, but now the idea that you probably still hated him made him uncomfortable, precisely because the rest of the team have been bothering you in every opportunity they got to get you to join them. 

  The car finally came to a stop, Ghost sighed while all of them got out, feeling a headache coming up from how Soap and Gaz couldn’t shut up while waiting for your plane. Price was busy making sure to get all of them to the correct gate, looking at his watch and the multiple screens showing the arrivals. 

 – Alright boys, let’s go, their plane already landed. – Soap and Gaz were about to celebrate once again before Ghost held them by their shoulders and gave a small squeeze, making them both complain from the pain, a reminder for them to behave already.

  It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the gate, and even less for you to be spotted by the team, after all, it’s not everyone who would use all black and a mask for a normal flight. You were looking around to spot the group, almost having a heart attack when you got almost thrown to the ground by two excited men hugging you and screaming your code name.

  – Fuc- Gaz! Soap! Holy shit, dudes! – You said trying to sound annoyed, but they could feel your body relaxing after realizing who they were. – You two are very excited dogs, uh? – You said chuckling, not noticing how Ghost breath halted the moment you called them like he did, a thing that his Captain didn’t ignore. 

  – What can we do? Yer’ too nice to have around, C/N! – Soup said while giving another squeeze, getting complaints from you and Gaz, while Price and Ghost shaked their heads in amusement at the display of affection. 

 – Enough you two, let them breathe. – Price said getting closer and reaching out his hand to you, who grabbed it firmly, and the Captain could see your smile by how your eyes wrinkled while looking at him. – Nice to have you again, soldier.

  You rolled your eyes, Price not ignoring how you didn’t cringe like you used to. – Always a pleasure, Captain. – You chuckled watching the grin form on everyone’s face, or almost everyone.

  You turned to see Ghost, who was with his arms crossed and watching you from a distance, you weren’t stupid, and you also noticed how the Lieutenant seemed more relaxed with your presence in the team. You wish you could keep the burning hate you felt for the man when you first met him, but all the missions you already had with the 141 showed you a bit of his true colors, and it was impossible for you to not be curious about the man, and some type of admiration for him to form each time you worked with the team. He was almost like you, just way more bitter about everything that happened to him, you didn’t know what it was, and you would never dare to go ask the man what it was, his mask and the way he behaved was enough for you to understand, maybe with the big difference that he lived it all as a military man, while you were just a civilian in the wrong place, or it came from way before he could enlist, just like you, but it didn’t matter really, you knew that he had his reasons, and that was enough for you to know how to behave.

 – Ghost. – You said while nodding to the man, who did the same for you, before all of you went back to the truck to finally go to where all you needed to be.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Hi Etta! Sorry if you already mentioned this, but where/how did you find your editors? (If you don't mind sharing)

Don't mind at all!

I know there are companies like Reedsy and the Writers Digest which have databases of editors, but that seemed really overwhelming. At the end of the day, the best way to get resources is to network (make friends, and hope their mutuals like you too).

Last year, I did an interview for Amanda Auler on Instagram and she boosted my account, so months later I ended up doing an interview for Addison Horner. He does editing for indie authors, so I asked him for a sample edit and liked it, but I wanted to get other points of comparison first, so I asked around and came up with a short list of editors. I contacted them, and when I had enough to compare, I ended up deciding I liked Addison best and drew up a contract with him. God moment that I found him so quickly.

But if I had to give this advice to someone else I'd recommend following these steps:

Read books in your genre. Read INDIE AUTHORS in your genre. Review their books. Follow them on social media. Be a friendly fan but don't make it weird.

Indie authors are one person publishing teams desperate for engagement and positive attention. They will thank you for your help and be willing to pay it forward when the time comes.

Once you have a handful of books you like that have similar vibes to your book, flip to the acknowledgements and find the editors name.

Google the editor, find their site, submit your inquiry, email works better than a form.

If you can't find the editor online, DM the indie author and ask "hey I really liked your book and it's a good comp title for my WIP. Who's your editor and what was your experience with them like? Do you mind pointing me their way?" Follow the author's advice. Repeat as needed.

(I've only ever received nice responses to this, don't be anxious. If they don't reply they're probably just busy, not annoyed).

When you contact editors, ask about their availability, rates, and be specific about what type of editing you need. Ask for a free sample edit. Mine were 250-2500 words.

Supply details about your WIP. Mine looked like this:

Title: Runaways

Genre: Middle Grade Portal Fantasy. I'm not labeling it as "Christian Fiction" as religion isn't a focus point of the story, but there are significant underlying Catholic themes.

Premise: When Cecelia goes missing one stormy Halloween night, her older sister, Hannah, must venture into the faerie courts to learn the truth about their past and bring her home. (Linked WIP Page with additional information)

Length: About 86,000 words, 180 pages (Times New Roman, 12pt, double spaced, standard 1in margins formatting). 21 chapters with an epilogue

Style: 3rd person limited, present tense. 3 POV characters: primarily Hannah at first, and then Cecelia and the third added later, alternating.

Status/Timeline/Availability: Currently with a 2nd round of beta readers, and I'll be getting feedback by March 31st. After editing the draft to reflect their feedback and doing my own line edits, I'll be looking for a line/copy edit around April/May or early summer.

Types of edits needed: As I understand, every editor uses "line" and "copy" edit slightly differently, but I'm looking for a combination of both styles if possible: checking for internal consistency, logical choreography, adequate descriptions, minor plot or worldbuilding errors, as well as language concerns like cutting crutch words, making sentence structure more dynamic, choosing the right verbs, etc. Developmental editing not needed. Waiting to do proofreading at the moment

When perusing at the editors site, look for credentials/certifications, their backlog of works, and testimonials

If you don't have enough options following this method, join some discord servers! I'm in a local NaNoWriMo group and a Catholic Writers Guild called Inkwells and Anvils which were both useful. I think there might be some writeblr ones as well. Find the critiques channel and send the same information there^^

Compare sample edits. Who respects your voice? Who supplied the most insightful comments? Do you vibe over email? Are they willing to do a stylesheet? Do they like your book? Can you set up a 15 minute zoom call to see if you vibe and discuss details?

Look at prices. My rate is $.015 a word but that's pretty cheap for the industry. Most of the rates I saw publicly were between $.02-.03/word for line editing.

Pray/sleep on it

Once you pick your best option, set a date to send them the manuscript, sign contracts, and make payment.

Send a polite email to the other editors and say "I regret to say you're not quite the right fit for this book, but I appreciate all your time, help, and advice! I hope to work with you in the future" or something along those lines. Don't burn your bridges.

Celebrate!

This whole process took me a couple weeks, everyone was very punctual and professional and friendly. I ended up going with Addison not only because he was the cheapest but also because he made 3X the number of comments as any other writer, and his comments were specific and useful. He understood my characters immediately, I think in part because his writing style is similar to mine, based on his debut novel, Marrow and Soul. We're both Christians who like YA dark fantasy. It's a good match. He's still taking clients for later in the year if that's your vibes. I also worked with Amber Burdett and Sariah Solomon, who were both lovely.

I wish you the best of luck finding an editor who fits your story! I hope this was helpful and not overly long.

[cartoon-buffoon]

Watching a kwite stream while I do stuff and he is like going through his viewers screentimes and there is a shocking amount of time people spend on character AI. Now a specific person who spent a LUDICROUS amount of time on it prompted him to tell that individual "go find whatever character you're talking to on AO3, sort by kudos, and read!" Or something of the sorts. And I have to agree with that sentiment 100% as this is more or less my personal stance on AI and how it's used modernly: IT FUCKING SUCKS! I don't support AI used for creativity because it's not fucking creative at all, AI art, writing, and even chats, I support fucking none of that and I dislike anyone who does. I have a friend—the same friend who's my beta reader and is probably reading this so call out to you quartz, ya bitch—who uses character ai and I've been trying to get her to stop because it's awful. To those who think their (very sad) character AI addiction is okay as well: all you're doing is feeding a machine and making it replicate text better, you're basically training the tech so the company can then use that tech for whatever—NOT GOOD I GUARANTEE YOU—purposes, you're apart of the problem. Talk to people online, talk to people irl, join discord servers, do fucking SOMETHING that involves interacting with real people instead of soulless AI. ESPECIALLY if you're a creative, if you're an artist who draws and naturally is appalled by AI art and you use shit like character AI you're a hypocrite and should come to your senses.

Now while I do recommend reading fanfiction if you want more content featuring your favorite characters there's also the aspect of people with social anxiety just wanting something to talk to and their use of AI chats. That's fair, as a person who suffers from crippling social anxiety to the point I can't even fucking talk to people at stores or order food without rehearsing it 14 times beforehand: you genuinely just need to try. Like that sounds condescending but I guarantee you there will be a group of people or even a singular person either irl or online who will like you and want to be your friend, it's hard but you just need to try. If you have some sorta talent share it online and eventually there will be at least one person who will interact with you and maybe you can build some sorta friendship from there. My entire point in saying this is don't be a mook and feed AI, be better and have actual meaningful human connection because slop like character AI is a soulless novelty that does nothing but isolate you.

(oh also: Don't give me the bullshit that "oh fanfiction is cringe and AI chats are wayyy better than the shit I've seen" because the pillar you stand on is made of salt. Fanfics written by some 13 year old on Wattpad at least has a soul and effort put into it making it a better read then AI chats, not to mention that writer will probably get better if they continue to write. You are not above fanfiction and are equally as cringe, you are below it if anything)