#probably i should check that this makes sense in the morning but unfortunately: i am not going to do that

[catilinas]

more mimesis bingo patch notes although tbh i might just remake it because i did literally forget the sacred in violence and the sacred. whoops. anyway:

‘table that is functionally an altar’ also includes chairs as tables, and especially includes thrones as chairs as tables. you wouldn’t eat the sacred king? might also include beds, and by extension graves #the unity of all rites

sports / games / ritualised competitions includes anything involving chance, and also elections. and gladiatorial combat

theatre / performance includes courts / trials / probably the entire judicial system tbh. can’t stage a trial without a stage!

‘sacrifice’ ok past me What does that mean. like spontaneous violence of the killing of the sacrificial victim or the killing of the substitute victim. these things should probably be distinguished from one another and also from ‘things that look like what you imagine sacrifice as’ which does still need a square

‘the scapegoat has obtained power’ also includes ‘the guy with power has become the scapegoat.’ what’s that quote like the king escapes through the roof the jester escapes through the cellar or whatever girard said

idk how to fit the whole the choice of scapegoat being simultaneously arbitrary and inevitable / ‘guilt’ or sacrificeability stemming from A Particular Narrative Winning more than anything else Thing into a bingo square. but that.

i feel like revenge narratives should be on here. they’re kind of included in reciprocal violence??? but i mean more house of atreus multi generational cycle of vengeance type stuff

E The Sacred.

Do you have a blank template of the mimesis bingo card?

you mean this thing? it is here:

things that i would amend/add to it if i made it again and had more space in each box would be:

monstrous double includes hallucinations / ghosts / spirits / the supernatural in general

loss of distinction includes Incorporation yes i am thinking primarily about cannibalism

“mimetic doubles switch places” includes then exchanging roles but Also them converging on sameness because they want to be each other because each sees the other as possessing wholeness

violence that is symmetrical should really say reciprocal violence

The Scapegoat Has Obtained Power / sacred kingship. being the captain of a ship counts as sacred kingship

masks includes other disguises too

the sacred, which i completely. forgot

[dc418writes]

I love the story "No Way Home" I've never done a request before but what is a day in the life like for reader and Ari now that she's staying with the two murderers?

Forever Home🌼

✨Pairing✨: serialkiller!Ari Levinsonxblack!reader (ft. Robert Freezy)

Summary🪄: A day in the life of you in your new home

🚨: 18+ NO MINORS, mentions of murder, manipulation, softdark!Ari, mention of protected and unprotected happy adult fun times (you’ll see), slight breeding kink, language, hint of Stockholm syndrome by technicality

*DISCLAIMER!: I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP of pictures used as they were all found via Pinterest*

A/N🎤: firstly, sorry for how long it’s taken me to write this😓 life and work have been jumping me heavy lately which has unfortunately made the desire to write very low, BUT I FINALLY GOT A BREAK FROM THAT🤗!

Second, I’m honored to be your first ask and am so happy to hear you love “No Way Home”!! So to answer your question, I technically have two answers

For the first few months, Sugar (that’s Ari’s nickname for reader so that’s what we’ll refer to her as) mostly stays in her - well, unknowingly Ari’s - room not really interacting with anyone

She’s still dealing with the sense of guilt from Brittany’s capture and death, plus mourning the life she once knew

Just as he promised though, Ari is there checking on her day and night. Bringing her food, water, or anything else she might need

*whenever he finds her asleep, he even makes sure to cover her with a blanket so she’s not too cold. As you could probably guess, it makes Robert sick

The first couple of days, she barely touched her meals though. Just sitting or lying in bed while the food stayed untouched exactly where Ari left it on the bedside table

Robert couldn’t care less about it (it’d mean more food for him anyway), while Ari silently worried

“You gotta eat something sugar,” he gently tried to coax the next time he brought breakfast. The steaming bowl of oatmeal making her stomach gurgle from the cinnamon and sugar caressing her nose. “Cmon eat something for me. Please?”

Maybe it was the hunger that finally got the best of her. Or it could’ve been Ari’s deep yet soothing rasp paired with his caring gaze. Either way, a small smile was curling along his pink lips when his sugar took a bite from the spoon he held near her mouth.

“Good girl.”

From then on, sugar slowly began to talk more when Ari would visit. When she finally flashed him a small smile, it’s as if he could physically feel his heart expand

And when she dared journey downstairs? Her little patter of footsteps walking up behind Ari to say a sweet yet quiet, “Good morning.”?! He was like a child on Christmas his smile was so bright

Her own cheeks heated at the sight. Secretly, and a little shamefully, loving the slight tilt to it

Now when she gets completely comfortable, a typical day starts with sugar making breakfast for everyone. Ari stealing loving glances as he “reads” the paper. Robert usually comes back from his shift at the gas station just as the food hits the table

“This looks good sweetheart, but you know you don’t have to cook every day,” Ari says pulling out her seat - next to him as per usual.

“Well, I figured I should contribute somehow,” she shyly shrugs. “I don’t wanna just eat your food and take up space.”

“Yet that’s exactly what’s happening,” Robert grumbles. Ari’s quick to kick his shin under the table making him yelp in pain; clearly disapproving his attitude

“Don’t listen to him. This is your home now.”

After everyone’s done, she moves towards the sink to wash the dishes but Ari instructs Robert - or Bobby as he and only he can call him - to do it instead. “You’ve done enough. Rest,” Ari winks before he’s soon off to start his shift.

In the meantime, she’ll clean around the house, wash clothes, and even read something either from the collection on the bookshelf in the living room or a book Ari happens to “find” here and there

And although she’s been warned to not stay out too long, she’ll sneak off and visit Ari for a while.

“Bobby know you’re out here Sugar?,” Ari asks with a warning tilt to his brow and a sternness to his tone. Both know it doesn’t mean anything though.

“No. But I think we both know he prefers me gone anyway.”

Gently, his firm hands are gripping her sides to lift her on the counter next to the register. His fingertips brushing along her cheek before adjusting her glasses.

“He still wants you to be careful,” he responds meeting her deep brown eyes in such a gaze that it’s difficult for her to breathe let alone hear what he says. “I do too.”

They talk and laugh not caring of the time that passed. He’d even have her favorite snack waiting - gummy bears.

Sometimes those innocent visits became a little more from his wandering hands. “You’re too cute you know that?”, he’d whisper slowly dragging his fingers along her thighs higher and higher until her lips were parting with a small gasp as he made contact with her panties growing stickier by the minute.

Her mind already beginning to feel hazy as his thick index finger traced along her slit

“Can’t believe I get to call you all mine.”

She never corrected him on that last one. Instead feeling her cheeks heat - along with other parts that would make her squirm.

One day she was bold enough to tell Ari of those tingles he so easily produced in her. So giddy and light from his sweet pecks along her jaw that the words slipped before she could stop them. His eyes seemed to darken at that confession letting his large hands creep to her hips. “Yea tingles feel funny but good huh? I know all about those.”

That’s how things became more intimate. One sneaking to the other for a quickie needing to feel each other as close as possible. Trying to be extra quiet while Robert slept in his room down the hall.

Sugar had never experienced a more difficult task with Ari pushing and pulling in and out at the most addicting pace while his mouth left open mouth kisses along her chest. Knowing just how much force to use that had her eyes rolling back. Not to mention the sinful words tumbling from his lips.

“Shit..so tight you make me wanna stay forever sugar.”

“Cmon let go for me, can feel you right there. Mm that’s it, good girl.”

The only thing was those damn condoms she made him wear.

“I-I just wanna be safe,” she shyly announced halting his nibbles along her neck.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he smiled, truly smitten by his sugar and her adorable nervousness. “No need to worry. I completely agree.”

As he watched her sleep after their late night rounds, he couldn’t help but let his callused fingers trace along her abdomen. His mind perfectly picturing it round with his baby inside. The perfect combination of their gorgeous mama and strikingly handsome papa

“One day,” he thinks eventually drifting off himself. For his sugar’s sake, he’ll play safe for now. Hopefully sooner rather than later though, that dream of his will become reality

His lineage able to prosper and flourish as the ancestors intended.

[gunilslaugh]

Truth Potion

Kim Jungsu Summary: Your secret crush on Jungsu was going just fine. That is until your best friend gave you a truth potion. (non-idol au) WC:~1.7k  Warning:none

photo not mine credits to owner.

“Y/n please? We have a test coming up. I need to make sure I made it right,” your best friend begged you. 

“That’s why I don’t want to. The last time I took one of your potions my tongue, hair and nails turned blue,” you reminded. 

“I already apologized for that! I made a mistake while reading the ingredients, but I promise this time I triple checked everything. It should be safe,” they tell you. 

“Yeah should. If it’s safe then you take it,” you argued. 

“I can’t,” they said. 

“Why? Are you hiding a lot of secrets?” You teasingly raised one of your brows. 

“No, I-I have to document the effects so-”

“So wouldn’t it make more sense for you to take it? I’m a very honest person anyway, so it doesn’t make sense for me to take a truth potion anyway,” you pointed out. 

“Y/n can you please just take it? I’ll owe you one. Please?” They clasped their hands together and pleaded. You let out a sigh. 

“Fine, but I swear if something happens you’re in for it, understand?” you threatened. 

“I’ll take full responsibility. Now enjoy.” They smiled, handing you the small vile. You take a skeptical look at the liquid in the vile. “Please?” your best friend begged again. You carefully take the vile from their hand. Closing your eyes as you swallow the liquid inside. A cough emits from you after you swallow the sour liquid. 

“Are you sure you made that right? Why was it so sour?” you asked, wiping your mouth. 

“I told you I triple checked everything,” they state. “So did it work?” they followed up. 

“How am I supposed to know? Ask me something?” you say.

“Right, ok umm….” they trail off as they try to think of a question to ask you. “Ooh!” “You’re the one who ate my cookies right? Jiseok was just covering for you,” they accused you. Your lips drew into a line. You sit silently for a few moments before answering.

“Well, technically Jiseok and I ate them together, so he wasn’t really just covering for me. He did eat them,” you reveal. 

“But you did too!” their voice rose. 

“Yeah, I did too,” you admitted. Safe to say the truth potion worked. 

“How could you?” they dramatically asked. 

“As if you haven’t eaten my snacks before. Stop being dramatic. I bought you more anyway,” you said. “Are you happy? The truth potion works,” you added. 

“Oh I’m very happy. Thank you for your service,” your best friend thanked you. 

Everything seemed like it would be ok. You weren’t feeling any weird side effects of the potion. You figured that the truth potion would wear off in a couple of hours.

However that was unfortunately not the case. When you woke up the next morning to discover that the truth potion you took was very much still effective. 

“Y/f/n what did you do? It should have worn off a long time ago,” you complained. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong either. I swear I did everything right,” they declared. 

“Show me the recipe you used,” you demanded. Y/f/n pulls out their notebook to show you the recipe they used. 

“This one,” they pointed to it. 

“One bottle of lemongrass? Y/f/n that can’t be right. It’s way too much,” you say. “No wonder it was so sour,” you sighed. You pulled out your own notebook and flipped through the pages till you found the truth potion. Another sigh escapes you. “It’s supposed to be three strands!” you pointed to the writing in your notebook. 

“Crap! I’m so sorry y/n. Let’s go talk to my professor. He probably has a remedy or can at least tell us how long it’ll last,” they murmur the last part. 

“Hey y/n, y/f/n,” Jungsu, Gunil and Seungmin come over to greet you. You can feel your heart rate pick up.

“Hey,” y/f/n smiled. 

“Hey,” you replied with a weak tone. 

“What’s wrong with y/n?” Seungmin asked.

“I gave them a truth potion,” y/f/n answered. 

“Why is that a problem? Did you mess up again? Is their tongue blue again?” Gunil questioned. 

“They put a whole bottle of lemongrass in it,” you exposed. 

“A whole bottle! It’s supposed to be three strands. Are you ok?” Jungsu checked. Looking at you with very concerned eyes. 

“They're fine. It just hasn’t worn off yet. We’re going to talk about it with my professor now,” y/f/n states. 

“Ok, don’t let us keep you then. We’ll see you at lunch,” Jungsu says. 

You and your best friend walked into the potion classroom. 

“Y/f/n what’s up? The professor asked you two, upon walking in. Y/f/n looked at their feet in shame.

“If someone put a whole bottle of lemongrass in a truth potion instead of three strands how long will it last?” you question. 

“A whole bottle?! Y/f/n!” their professor scolded them.

“I’m sorry! How long will it last? Or better yet, do you have a remedy?” 

“There is something that can cure a truth potion, but we don’t keep it on hand,” he says. 

“How soon can you get it?” you asked. 

“I can send someone to go gather it. Come back here at the end of the day,” he tells you.

“Thank you,” you said. You and y/fn bid your goodbyes and leave the classroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what’s the verdict?” Seungmin asked when the two of you joined them for lunch. 

“There is something that can cure it, but they don’t have it on hand, so my professor sent someone to go get it. They’ll have it by the end of the day,” y/f/n explained. 

“That means we have a fully honest y/n at our dispense till the end of the day?” Jooyeon said mischievously. 

“Leave them alone,” Jungsu scolds him. 

“Why? What could they be hiding anyway? They’re a pretty honest person,” Jiseok chimed in. 

“Exactly they’re honest, so just leave them be. They don’t have any secrets for you to find out,” Jungsu said. 

Oh how you wished that were true, but you did have one very big secret that they could find out about. That secret being your crush on Jungsu. You had done such a good job at keeping it quiet. Your best friend doesn't even know about it. Now the reason why you’ve been keeping quiet about it is because Jungsu only views you as a younger sibling. You recall the day you got sibling zoned very clearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jungsu, why are you protective over them? You got a crush on them?” Jooyeon teased. There had been this group of guys that was bothering you. The moment Jungsu caught wind of it he quickly shut it down. 

“What? No. I only see them as a younger sibling. That’s why I’m protective over them,” he justified. His words felt like a jab to your heart and right at that moment you decided that you would never reveal the truth about your feelings towards Jungsu.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is that true y/n? You aren’t keeping any secrets from us?” Jooyeon asked. Crap. You had to think before answering because the “No” you so desperately wanted to say wouldn’t leave your mouth. 

“What would I be hiding?” you chuckled. 

“That took you second. Are you really hiding something?” Jiseok questioned. You let out a panicked laugh. 

“What could I possibly be hiding?” you say.

“You aren’t saying no,” y/f/n comment. “No way! You actually have a secret!” they exclaimed. “I don’t. No I don’t” you so desperately want to say, but you can’t. 

“What is it?” Seungmin questioned. “I like Jungsu” The words sit dangerously close to the tip of your tongue. 

“I don’t have class to get to. Bye bye,” you quickly stood up and began to rush away. 

“Y/n! Wait!” y/f/n called after you. 

“I said to leave them alone. So what if they have a secret? I’m sure we all have some type of secrets.” Jungsu stood up and went to follow you. 

“Y/n wait up,” Jungsu says, jogging up to you. Any other day your heart would have fluttered to have Jungsu being the one that followed you, but today he was the last person you wanted to follow you. “Are you ok?” he asked once he caught up with you.

“Not really,” you chuckled. 

“Hey it’s ok. I said it back there after you left that we all have secrets. We keep them for a reason right?” he said. You nodded. 

“Yeah and I almost said mine. That’s why I left,” you say. 

“How about I tell you a secret?” he prompts. 

“Why would you tell me a secret? You just said we keep them for a reason,” you questioned. 

“I’ve had something that I wanted to tell you for a while,” he informs you. 

“What is it?” you asked. 

“I like you,” he confessed. 

“Huh? B-but you said you only saw me as a younger sibling,” you say. 

“I said that because I wasn’t ready to confess then.” He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “But Jooyeon was right. I’m protective over you because I like you.” 

“I like you too,” you confessed back. 

“Really?” Jungsu said. 

“I can’t exactly lie right now Jungsu,” you reminded. 

“Ah that’s right,” he chuckled with a blush appearing on his cheeks. 

“That’s what my secret was. That I like you. I didn’t want to reveal it because of how you said you only saw me as a younger sibling. I thought it would make things weird between us,” you explained. 

“I’m sorry for lying about that,” he apologizes. 

“There’s no need to apologize. You said you weren’t ready and everything has worked out now.” 

“Yeah, it has.” He grabs your hand in his. “We’re a couple now,” he states. You smile, squeezing his hand back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sorry for about back at lunch. We should have respected your privacy,” your best friend apologizes. You had just taken the antidote for the truth potion. 

“It’s fine. I get that you guys were curious and it all worked out in the end,” you smiled. 

“What worked out?” they asked you.

“You’ll find out soon,” you teased, walking away.

“Hey no. Tell me please?” They chased after you.

“I can't have a date to get ready for,” you shouted out as you gleefully walked away.

taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143 @seungseung-minmin

[hippiemisfit]

Hush (J.K.) 1

Chapter one- The Meeting

Word Count: 1,523 Warning: mentions of death, scary jk, crazy jk, intimidation, no smut in this chapter

——————————————————————

Breaking News. The Silent Killer has struck again. Everyone in the Marion County area should lock their doors and stay inside.

There has been a report of a killer at large and he was late spotted in that area. I would even go as far to suggest to even turn off the lights in your house and television, so that he thinks you aren't home.

If you see him or think you've seen him contact the police immediately. He is a crazed sociopath and he doesn't care what age or gender you are. Be safe. Now on to the weather."

I turned off the TV. 

  Scary much. Like he won't enter a person's house just because the lights are off. That seems more inviting than if all the lights were on. Then he would just think you weren't home and he would really enter the place.

And how are we supposed to know if we see him or not. No one has seen him, so calling the police makes no sense. Unless the police are just going to go around and look for any male walking around the streets.

And he just had to go and kill someone while I'm home alone. I mean, I don't want him to kill anyone but gosh, he couldn't have done it when there wasn't just me and Poco here? 

"Speaking of Poco where is he?" I ranted to myself.

The Quiet Killer is all the news would talk about for the past couple of months. He got his name because every person he killed, he would cut out their tongue so they wouldn't be able to yell for help while he tortured them.

How a person could do that to someone else is terrifying to me. He leaves no witnesses and even if he did they're probably too scared to come forward in case he comes for them. Every time the cops ask for tips to help close the case, nothing comes of it.

I got off the couch and went to turn on the porch light. I made sure every window was locked and if the back door was locked which it was. I found Poco asleep on his bed so I left him be and went upstairs. I entered my bedroom, flicking on my light switch, and closed the door. I looked around my messy room and shrugged my shoulders.

Oh well I'll clean it in the morning.

I flicked back off the light and went over to my bed, laying down. I reached over to my night stand and turned on my starry night projector. The purple light filled up the room and the ceiling filled itself with stars. I made sure to set a timer on the projector before I settled back on the bed. I closed my eyes and was about to drift off to sleep until I heard a banging noise coming from downstairs.

Ok, Mahj you should know better than to go downstairs where the noise is coming from. You have watched to many horror movies, against your will, and you should know that you never go where the noise is. Unfortunately for me, I'm upstairs so in order to get out of the house I HAVE to go down the stairs.

I got up off of the bed and walked to the door, but almost bit the dust over one of my shoes on the floor.

Should've cleaned it earlier. 

I cracked the door open and peeked out. I didn't see anything happening in the hallway so it was confirmed the noise was coming from downstairs.

It sounds like they are still downstairs but I'm sure I checked every lock before I came up here.

I tiptoed near the stairs and I could still hear the banging. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.

Well then that's the place to avoid.

I tiptoed down the stairs and headed to the door.

Well I almost got to the door, the banging got closer to me, so being the dumbass I am I jumped over the couch. Thank god for carpet. My body fell with a soft thud on the floor.

I heard the banging get louder and then go back into the kitchen. I slowly made my way towards the end of the couch and peeked into the kitchen. What I saw made me feel pretty damn stupid.

It turns out the banging noise was just Poco running into the kitchen table with a pot on his head, making the chair meet the table with a bang. I walked over to the kitchen and turned on the light. I walked over to the crazy husky to see what was wrong with him.

"Poco, chill out dude. What's wrong?" I asked taking off the pot and grabbing him by his face. His eyes were slowly drifting closed but then popped open only for them to start drifting again.

"Poco?" I checked his body for any injuries and saw a needle sticking out of his side. "What?" I said taking it out of his side," Where did this come from?"

"Your dog was going to make too much noise so I had to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart. It's taking a while to take effect but it'll settle in soon. You know I can't  be doing my job right if I let someone make some noise. Even though it didn't matter since he made enough going down and caught your attention before I could make my surprise appearance. Don't worry about him, he'll be fine," I heard a deep voice say from behind me.

I turned around to see a dark figure wearing a hoodie sitting in a chair in the living room.

How did I not see him when I was over there?

I went to turn on the light but stopped when he said,"Don't."

I stepped back from the light switch. "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

I saw him cock his head to the side," Who do you think I am?"

"I think you're the quiet killer," I said shaking in fear.

"That's incorrect," he said slightly offended by me saying his name wrong, "It's the Silent Killer and to answer your second question, you forgot to lock the kitchen window," he said.

"What are you talking about? I did lock it." I said trying to trace back my steps and I'm sure that I locked the window. 

He chuckled," Babe you didn't, trust me."

I took a step back when I saw him lift up from the chair and start to walk towards me. "Are you afraid of me, Mahj?"

No shit.

I started to walk back faster, "How do you know my name?"

"I know everything about you Mahj. I've been watching you for a while," he walked over to the kitchen light switch and flicked it off.

I walked back into the counter and he came over, caging me in.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked.

He ran his finger down my face," No I'm not going to kill you. I would never do that to you Mahj. At least not yet, we'll see what the future holds for us. Really I just came to introduce myself to you."

I felt him rub something wet on face, "We're gonna have so much fun together Mahj. I can tell already."

A tear came out of my eye and before I could wipe it away, he did. "Don't cry beautiful. I'm not worth your tears neither happy nor sad. I'll be seeing you again soon, I promise."

He leaned in and placed his lips on mine. It was a simple peck but for some fucked up reason I felt sparks.

Mahj what the fuck is wrong with you?

I turned my head away from his lips and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. He chuckled," Soon you'll be begging for a kiss from me babe."

I felt more tears come down my face. He grabbed my head and made me face him.

I tried to see his face but he was wearing a mask underneath his hoodie. The only thing I could see was his green eyes.

"What did I just say about crying Mahj?"

I sniffled," You told me not to," I squeaked out.

"I see you can remember instructions but you can't follow them. We're going to have to fix that but not right now, I have to go for real this time. I'm needed elsewhere."

He stepped back from me,"Tell no one that I was here, Ok. I don't want to have to hurt- well I don't really mind having to hurt someon- anyway I don't want to have to kill anyone because of you running your mouth babe," he took my face in his hands," Do you understand?"

I nodded my head which he didn't like. " I need words," he said gripping my face tighter.

"I understand." I said trying to keep it together.

"Good girl," he said, releasing his grip on my face and kissing my forehead.

That's the last thing I remember happening before everything went completely black.

——————————————————

Authors note.

This was originally written a few years ago so please be mindful of errors that haven’t been fixed but I hope you like the story. 😊

[frogofalltime]

day 8

today started off pretty good, i got up as soon as my alarm rang, had breakfast, got ready, took my meds etc

today my dosage was increased which is a bit scary but i can't say for certain if it's made anything better or worse

around midday i walked to the students union to meet my friends and on the way there i suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left side underneath my ribs. i have had some pain there since the weekend, it was hurting when i coughed, but this new pain was constant and much worse. it made it hard to walk but i didn't have much further to go so it was okay

we held some beautiful creatures at the students union !!! i never imagined that i would one day have a skunk asleep curled up on my lap but here we are. i was so happy that i forgot about the pain for a while.

afterwards i walked home because we had an online statistics exam at 1pm. however the pain got worse and worse and it was really hard to keep walking. i felt like i was going to throw up.

when i got home i procrastinated for a while before finally starting the exam. i was in a lot of pain which made it really hard to focus. luckily i get extra time and rest breaks in exams, because of disability accommodations, so i was able to take breaks to move around, go to the bathroom, eat lunch, etc.

i finished the exam, it took me around 2 and a half hours. i think i did well but i am not sure because the pain was so bad and it was distracting me a lot. i didn't want to take painkillers because i'm already on two medications and i feel like i have enough weird stuff in my bloodstream

i was going to go to a local protest for palestine with @wiggles-mcgee but it hurt too much to move so i had to stay home, unfortunately. i felt quite upset about this and i felt like i was stuck.

my mother called me and i told her what happened and she says i probably pulled a muscle at the weekend from coughing too violently and then it was triggered today when i was walking ?? idk. she told me to rest as much as possible and not leave the house until it feels better.

after she put the phone down i procrastinated for a few hours because i was going to study and then cook dinner but i didn't have the energy to do either of those things (because i had socialised then sat an exam and then talked on the phone, all of which take a lot of energy from me)

then i got a message from @etherealspacejelly saying they were feeling really bad side effects of the meds and had to go to hospital. so of course that made me panic a lot, especially since i couldn't go with him because i live 10 minutes away and i literally can't walk

i had a pretty bad meltdown. it lasted quite a while. when that finally subsided i was feeling far too sick to cook or eat. and i was also still very worried and constantly checking my phone. i couldn't do anything else because of anxiety.

also i found out you're not supposed to take adhd medication if you're on antidepressants or have mental illnesses ?? but my doctor prescribed it to me anyway even though i have all those things ??

i talked to robin for a while and they realised that i hadn't eaten and encouraged me to get some food. so i had some soup and toast and nuts at around 2am. which is a weird time to eat a meal, i know, but it had been over 12 hours since lunch and i couldn't sleep anyway so it made sense

now i'm procrastinating washing my dishes. robin is finally home from the hospital after many hours. the doctor said it's okay and the meds should settle down in a few weeks ?? which kind of sucks because why would you have to keep taking medications that make you ill ?

i'm going to wash my dishes and then i think i will shower before i go to bed because i feel very weird and my head hurts and my eyes are all puffy so maybe it will help. it's literally 4am. yeehaw

honestly i was very unproductive today but that's because i went to meet the animals in the morning, had an exam in the afternoon and i was in so much pain, and then the hospital situation happened, so i definitely have an excuse. also i am worried about having a similar reaction to the medication as robin, because he is feeling very unwell from it, and i don't want that to happen to me as well :/

so yea stay tuned for more updates i really hope the pain in my left side goes away soon so i don't have to visit the hospital too

[90363462]

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8 "Kinds Of Sex" All Married Couples Should Put Into Rotation

Let us be your motivation.

Shellie R. Warren

Jun. 12, 2020 05:35PM EST

The 90s is my favorite era of R&B (fight me, if you wanna). There's no time or space to get into all of the reasons why. For now, I'll provide a song example of why it's unmatched. As I was sitting down to write this piece, a song that came into my mind is the 1990 jam, "Show Me" by Howard Hewett. While the song certainly stands on its own, what I really like is the fact that his wife (at the time), Nia Peeples was in the video. His lead was his spouse. He used his visual to not only honor her but his marriage. To me, that is beyond dope infinity. And because I've always been aware of the fact that the video featured a husband and wife pairing, I always revered it with a kind of honor and, even sacredness, than a lot of other songs and visuals.

For many reasons, I see married sex the same way. When two people make the conscious choice and commitment to share the rest of their lives with one another, it just makes me respect their sex life on a whole 'nother level. That's why, as a marriage life coach, I am such an advocate for husbands and wives to participate in as much coitus as possible…as often as possible.

One time, while in a session with a couple, they asked me if there was "just one way to have sex". They weren't speaking of positions and technique. Nah, what they were referring to is should there be different ways to approach that type of intimacy with their partner. I found that to be a very insightful and profound question. While there are probably a dozen more ways than the eight that I'm about to share, I do think that in order for a husband and wife to feel truly fulfilled in their sexual intimacy with one another, there are the "kinds of sex" that need to happen on a consistent basis. If that doesn't make sense to you now, I'm hoping that it will by the time this piece is done. (Oh, and feel free to throw on some 90s R&B in the background, while you're reading, if you'd like.)

1. Morning Sex

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I can't tell you how many married couples have sang the praises of morning sex to me before. 

There is one husband, in particular, who cracks me up, every time I think about what he digs so much about it. "I'm telling you, if I'm able to get some head before the day starts, my wife can hit me up about wanting a new pair of shoes, her mom coming for dinner, or her maxing out a credit card and I'm basically going to be like, 'Yes Dear'."

What is it about morning sex that is so…refreshing? For one thing, since men, on average, have five erections that last 25 minutes each throughout the night, if they wake up with morning wood, sex is a fantastic release. Also, for both men and women, morning sex is an awesome way to de-stress, reconnect and also get an energy charge before the day begins. So, if you're married and you can't remember the last time you let your genitalia rather than an alarm clock awaken you, try and be more intentional about participating in a lil' bit of morning coitus. It beats the hell out of a cup of java. No doubt about it.

2. Quickie Sex

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Whenever I think of quickie sex, necessity is what comes to mind. Although I'll be the first one to say that married sex serves a myriad of purposes (check out "10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important"), let's not act like sometimes we just don't need to "get that thing off". Quickie sex isn't (always or necessarily) about being romantic or engaging in a lot of foreplay. Quickie sex is more in the lane of, "I'm horny and I need to handle this so that I can relax and/or focus and/or get on to the other stuff that I need to do."

Unfortunately, because some people think that all sex needs to look like something out of a chick flick, they don't allow themselves (or their partner) to enjoy quickies as often as they should. If you're one of those individuals, I'd encourage you to look at quickies from another angle. Shouldn't one of the benefits of being married be that sex is more convenient? Because your partner is easily accessible, you don't have to do a lot of planning and preparing. Plus, (hopefully) you both know how to get each other off, so pleasure is a surefire thing with them. Since this is the case, while brushing your teeth, sitting on the couch or preparing dinner, you can pull stuff down (or move it over), handle your business and go on with your day. To me, that is not a "problem"; that is a blessing, chile.

3. Scheduled Sex

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While some people hate the idea of scheduling sex, I don't. In fact, whenever the topic comes up, what I usually say is all scheduling sex is about is prioritizing it. While it would be nice if all sex could be "random" and "spontaneous" (more on that in just a sec), the reality is that most of us have pretty tight to-do lists. So, if we don't make it a point to plan certain things out, they would never happen. Now, no one is saying that scheduled sex means that you've got to be as tight and rigid as Mrs. Elena Richardson (Reese Witherspoon) was in Little Fires Everywhere (in her house, sex only happened on Wednesdays and Saturdays; her poor husband). But if you and yours have so much going on that scheduling sex is gonna be better than having no sex at all, pull out your Google calendar and designate when your private parts can get some quality time in. 10-15 percent of all marriages are sexless ones. I'd venture to say a big part of the reason why is because couples aren't prioritizing their sex lives nearly as much as they need to or should.

4. Spontaneous Sex

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Everything in life is about balance, right? While scheduled sex certainly serves its purpose, so does spontaneous sex. The thing that I like about this kind of copulation is, another word for spontaneous is, impulsive. To be impulsive is to participate in something that is almost involuntary. In a sexual context, it's like you want your partner so bad that you don't even think about where you are or if it's a good time or not to get some; you've got to have them and so you're gonna make it happen. If it's a public place, so be it. If it's in the middle of the day, it's all good. While life might not make it possible to be spontaneous in this way all of the time, partaking in this type of sex is a great way for your partner to feel loved and lusted (which is "a passionate or overmastering desire or craving"). It also can keep a married couple's sex life spicy and interesting.

6. Hotel Sex

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Not too long ago, I watched All Def Digital's Squad Cast talk about why they prefer to have sex at home over having sex in a hotel room (it's at the 1:25:07 mark). To be fair, a lot of them are touring comedians, so they spend a lot of time in hotels (even KevOnStage said that hotels have lost their allure because of it). But as someone who used to have quite a bit of hotel sex (back when I was having sex) and also as someone who puts married couples in hotels, free of charge, from time to time, I am a HUGE FAN of hotel sex. Hotels provide a change of scenery. If it's a quality one, the beds tend to feel amazing. And, you can oftentimes find little "perks" to make you feel pampered (like room service, couples' massages or jacuzzi tubs). While I do think it's healthy for couples to plan romantic trips at least once a year, sometimes budgets and other life demands make that a close to impossible feat to pull off. But something that almost every husband and wife can do is spend at least one night in a hotel room. I personally haven't met one couple who doesn't come back from hotel sex feeling renewed. If you've never done it, at least try it. I'd be shocked if you didn't like—no, absolutely love—it!

7. Comfort Sex

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I remember once going to a bridal shower and someone asking everyone to offer up sex advice for the bride-to-be. When it came time for a senior elder's (of a church) wife to speak, she said, "Don't deny your husband unless you're deathly ill." When some of the women turned up their nose at her response, she simply said, "I've been married almost 50 years. A lot of you are divorced." (Geeze.) While I'm definitely not the woman who thinks that people should have sex when they don't feel like it, I do think it's important for married people to treat sex like it's a staple in their relationship and not just a…hobby.

However, the reason why I'm even bringing all of this up is because I think it's important to remind some wives that when you don't feel like doing it, oftentimes it's how you refuse your husband that can potentially put a wedge between the two of you. It's so important to remember that a lot of men feel totally vulnerable when trying to initiate sex, so when they are turned down in a flippant or cold way, that can cause them to feel rejected—not just physically but as if all of them is being dismissed. 

It's not talked about enough that sometimes husbands want to be with their wives, not because they are "horny" so much as they want to feel loved, accepted and yes, comforted. Listen, I am all about Black love and it's hard for Black men and women out here. If there's one place where any spouse should feel soothed, consoled and reassured, it's within their marriage. Sometimes that comes in the form of being as close to their partner as possible. Comfort sex isn't talked about, nearly as much as it should be. It's needed though. A lot.

7. Reconciliation Sex

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Reconcile is a dope word. One of my favorite definitions of it is "to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent". While I'm not a huge fan of the phrase "make love" (because, as I oftentimes say, sex should celebrate love not create it), I do think that choosing to love someone, each and every day of your life, (hopefully) for the rest of your life, requires extreme time, effort and energy. Because a marriage consists of two flawed human beings, there are going to be times when husbands and wives are not "walking in agreement", when they aren't exactly in harmony with each other. Sometimes, one of the best ways to get back in sync with each other is to partake in what I call "reconciliation sex".

While, on the surface, that might seem like make-up sex, it's not 100 percent the same thing. Oftentimes, make-up sex is relied upon as a diversion or a coping mechanism when couples don't know how to properly communicateand/or resolve their issues. Reconciliation sex is more like…what a couple does to reward themselves once they have figured out how to get back on the same page about something. It is a physical act that affirms and confirms that they are back in agreement and harmony again. Because sex is such a beautiful, powerful and intimate thing, when two people feel like they have mentally and emotionally reunited, it can do wonders for the relationship to acknowledge that by engaging in physical intimacy. Hot, steamy, sexy, "nasty", totally mind-blowing sexual intimacy.

8. "Holy" Sex

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I picked this GIF on purpose. It's from the 1940s classic filmCabin in the Sky starring Lena Horne, Ethel Waters, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Eddie Anderson and a host of others. If you've never seen it before, the love that Petunia (played by Waters) had for her husband, Little Joe (played by Anderson) was nothing short of spiritual and supernatural. That woman prayed for that man to break his bad habits as if her very life depended on it. It's a cinematic reminder that marriage has a sacred component to it; and so does married sex.

That's why, to me, whenever two people are married, I most definitely believe that sex is an act of worship. What I mean by that is there is a reverence in the act that is very special within a marital union. It's because of that that articles on our site like "Ashley Graham & Her Husband Say Prayer Is The Ultimate Form Of Foreplay" make complete and total sense to me and lyrics like "You're the blessing that I never thought I would get/And to the Lord I humbly bow my head" from Usher's "Here I Stand" seem like they would be the perfect kind of background music for a sex session. 

If you're someone who believes that marriage is a spiritual union, then surely you must believe that the Most High is a part of it. To me, "holy sex" is about remembering the foundation and Source of your love. It's about approaching intimacy in a spirit of pure sacredness and gratitude. It's about acknowledging that, so long as your spirits are in sync, your bond is close to invincible. 

Hmph. Let me tell it, if there's any "kind of sex" that a husband and wife should have the most often, this one would definitely top the list. Let the Church say, "Amen", y'all. Now what kind of sex are you and yours gonna have tonight?

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[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (719): Tue 5th May 2024

This morning I booked my hostel / train tickets to London for the end of May when I go to see Jane's Addiction. Unfortunately I am going to have to travel there via coach because Trainline are charging £152 for a return ticket which is fucking ridiculous. Why do I still have to pay full price for anything given what a good person I am? Literally every time I go to McDonalds I agree to round up my order and give the extra pennies to charity surely that should be worth a discount on my train tickets every now and again. To be fair when I travelled there on a coach to see AEW's All In the seven hours really did fly by so perhaps the same will be true of this trip. I'll just listen to podcasts for the whole trip and every hour I'll read another twenty or so pages of the book I take with me. It's also probably a smarter move to travel on a coach because there's always the chance that the train drivers may decide to go on strike yet again in order to raise the extra £2.00 per week to pay for the Only Fans pages they've subscribed to so they don't have to cancel their InfoWars subscription.

I re-watched the iconic comedy movie This Is Spinal Tap. It's still hilarious all these years later and the influence it had on comedy in the years since its release is undeniable….but…I don't think it's the perfect comedy movie everyone else seems to think it is. The one complaint I have about the movie is that the three central characters don't seem to feel any kind of embarassment whatsoever even though the situations they find themselves in would be absolutely soul destroying if they happened to you or I. I suppose it makes sense given that they are rock musicians and are probably so egotistical (and possibly high on drugs) that embarrasment probably doesn't even register with them any more but I still say the comedy could have been ramped up if they had them acknowledge just how humiliated they were. Or better still just do what they do in The Office and every time something embarassing does happen then cut to the director or the person the band are interacting with and show them looking absolutely redfaced on behalf of the band.

I went to check my Facebook but it said that I had been logged out. I tried to log back in but it said my password was wrong even though "FUCKTRAINLINE" has been my password ever since I first started buying train tickets to go to gigs. Even after attempting to change the password I was still receiving a notice telling me that the change couldn't be made at this point and to try again later. I checked on Twitter and saw that many others were complaining about not being able to get into their Facebook either. This was a relief because I was worried that I'd been hacked and the hacker had done something horrible on my page, something like message Kevin from the call centre and tell him that I never meant all the insults I've hurled at him over the years and I actually think he's pretty swell (although if this had happened I like to think that Kevin's immediate reaction would have been "Anthony must've been hacked").

[lemonyfrog]

“An Encounter.”

(This is the first thing I’ve written in nearly a year and the first short story I’ve written in nearly 3 years, so it’s probably kinda janky. It was cathartic to write, though!)

------------------------------------------------------

White snowflakes trickled down lazily from the sky in a gentle, yet steady flurry. It would have almost been beautiful — if not for the long walk back to my apartment. I was woefully unprepared for today’s weather, wearing only a light jacket as insulation from the intruding cold.

I had just closed up shop. Unsurprisingly, I was the only one at work today. My two coworkers were out sick, so I took longer than I would’ve preferred. Now, I was stuck out in this shitty weather; it was too late to catch a bus, and I didn't have the money for an Uber.

“Dammit, why the hell…” I groaned, eyeing the flakes floating down to greet me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood for such gracious hospitality.

Rolling my eyes, I begrudgingly stepped out of the stale, yet warm comfort of my work and into the freezing, unforgiving weather. If not for my boss’ call early this morning insisting I take over Kaylee’s shift again, I would’ve at least checked the forecast…

Sigh. Whatever. I’ll just have to walk fast. And avoid slipping on ice. I’ll probably manage to find a way to do that, regardless.

Alone in my thoughts, I continued walking down the snowy sidewalk back to my apartment. The snow steadily fell harder as time pushed on. I rarely saw cars pass by down the icy road. My eyes started wandering, bored of staring at nothing.

The streetlights lit up fragments of the sky which reflected a lovely shade of brown. It almost reminded me of home.

As I strolled down the dead streets, an unfamiliar sense of dread crept up on me. I am, naturally, a paranoid person, but something about this felt…different. I quickened my pace, glancing about my surroundings. The streetlights didn’t suggest a feeling of familiarity anymore but instead instilled a sense of unease. What could be lurking in the shadows their lights couldn’t reach? And why was it so damn quiet?

Something’s changed. I can’t hear anything. Is there even anything there, or is my brain just being stupid again? God, I’m fucking freezing.

Crossing my arms in an attempt to comfort myself, I finally made it to my street. If someone were to be actively following me, I knew it would be stupid to show them where I lived, but what other choice did I have? It wasn’t like I was being followed while driving. I can’t exactly take the long way home right now.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts and quickly turned down my street, flinching at any little sound my ears picked up. My eyes darted from dark corner to dark corner, trying to make out recognizable shapes in the dark rather unsuccessfully. It felt as if my entire body was racing, begging me to hurry back to my home so I could be safe away from this unfamiliarity.

I made it to my apartment door and dug into my pocket for my keys, trying my damnedest to keep a hold of them. I didn’t want to be out there a minute longer than necessary.

A shape darted from the neighboring building.

“Fuck!” I whisper-shouted, jankily trying to stick my key in the slot. God, was I always this clumsy with my keys?

Panicked, I turned the knob just in time to see something pop around my building’s corner. I darted inside, locking the door behind me. My legs nearly buckled as I tried to steady myself inside.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” I managed to squawk out. I stood there, frozen, trying to comprehend what had happened. My heart was beating painfully fast, and as I clutched my chest, I wondered what would’ve happened if I stayed out there longer than I had. I felt faint.

As I gathered myself, I realized I was stupid to not lock my windows sooner. Although my apartment was tiny and I’d — probably — hear if someone else happened to be inside, I still picked up a lamp and carried it with me. You know, just in case.

Should I call the police? I doubt they’d take me seriously. They’d just shrug me off and tell me I’d need more proof before they do their damn job. I just need to calm down. Calm down…God, I feel like I’m about to puke.

After checking the few rooms I had, I tiredly set the lamp down and slumped to the floor. With my head in my hands, I groaned loudly. Why did this have to happen today of all days?

I was already stressed out about my job. My boss was demanding more and more from me, although he knew I couldn’t do as much as he’d prefer me to do. He’s already threatened to fire me over my request to have a stool at work. I can’t stand for too long without feeling faint. And my father hasn’t responded to my texts for two weeks at this point…

Focus you fucking idiot, you might still be in danger! Do you want to get yourself killed?

…Oh, right.

By all accounts, my stupid ass should’ve been dead right about now.

I sat there in the living room, scrutinizing the nearby window. I had closed the blinds, but who knew? Maybe the creep was standing right there, peeking through the cracks. I shuddered.

I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight, am I? I can feel my dark circles forming already.

I looked down and found myself tearing at the ends of my hair. I don’t want to deal with anyone right now, least of all a stalker.

I heard something drop to the floor by my front door.

I paused.

Slowly, I peeked my head around the corner; my eyes landed on a grey envelope on the wooden floor of the unlit hallway.

I didn’t know whether I should grab it or not.

. . .

I would have to grab it eventually, I reasoned. I pushed myself up and cautiously made my way over to the mysterious envelope, only to find —

Oh.

Someone drew hearts on it.

Not knowing whether to be shocked or disgusted, I picked it up. Did I even want to know what was inside?

I have to admit, I am not a smart person. So yes, of course I opened it.

Inside, a collage of magazine clippings coated sections of a vintage Valentine’s Day card. At the center of the inner left-hand side, a decoupage featuring a photograph of myself was surrounded by what my brain perceived at the time to be miscellaneous images.

Not alarming in the slightest.

I inspected the writing inside. One might call it chicken scratch, but it was legible enough for me to read every word.

“I have been watching you for quite some time.”

Already a great start.

“You’re a rather interesting individual. I would like to invite you to something special. I think you would enjoy it.”

Nice, this stranger certainly wouldn’t cause bodily harm and/or death if I were to listen to them.

“Join me where the birds won’t sing. I’ll be awaiting your arrival.”

There was no signature.

Whether I set the card down or threw it, I cannot remember. All I know is that I didn’t want it touching me.

They don’t expect me to go wherever the hell they’re talking about, do they?

Someone this delusional wouldn’t go so far out of their way just for someone to say no. I mean, seriously, they decoupaged kittens around my face. Perhaps it would be unwise to ignore this mysterious piece of shit.

“Would the cops believe me now?” I jokingly said aloud to myself. I knew they would tell me they were too busy with other matters. I’ve not once heard of a person with a stalker who the cops helped before it was too late. Not where I live, anyway.

Turning my mind back to the card, I was left to contemplate what it meant. Why was it so cryptic? Were they really expecting someone as stupid as I to understand it?

Where the birds won’t sing?

I clutched my hair nervously, trying my hardest to resist the urge to pull at it. I’ve damaged it enough in recent months.

I have no other choice, do I?

That was my first encounter with him. How was I to know what would’ve taken place after I had accepted his card? I had, unbeknownst to me, taken my first step down his twisted rabbit hole. And there was no crawling back up. Not for someone like me, at least.

[karlwriting]

You lost Toji’s pay cheque

Featuring - Toji (contains spoilers)

re-blogs and likes are appreciated :))

Just fluff <3

You are in big trouble.

Toji gave you a cheque this morning before he went to work. He is in his usual tightly-fitted black t-shirt and grey sweat pants. You can never get tired of his physique. Lord his arms can just crush you.

"Just go to the bank and they know what to do, thank you kiddo. I am going now. Call me if anything happens." he gave you a kiss then headed out.

And you lost the cheque on your way to the bank.

If you remember it correctly, that cheque has 'USD$200,000' printed on it. Just thinking about it makes your whole body shivers. He never tells you how he got so much money every time, and you never bother to ask cuz you respect his privacy.

Although Toji seems to earn much, he never buys something expensive. He enjoys affordable healthy meal you two make together, staying indoors to watch documentaries on Netflix and cuddle (tho at the end you are not able to tell Netflix that you are still here cuz you are drowned in intense pleasure, Your man's stamina is no joke.)

'Shit... where did it go?' you check your bag once more, but unfortunately the miracle did not happen. Toji is out to work and probably will be back by midnight, so you got a lot of time to look around. You start searching from your shared apartment to all the places you have been today.

'Its already 9pm... should i look for few more hours? I am so tired.' You sit down on the bench to massage your legs. You went to a few police stations, the cafe you stayed this afternoon, and many places but none of them give you good news.

You feel like you about to cry cuz you lost such a huge amount of money. You bow you head down to hold your tears, suddenly you feel someone is standing next to you. You lift you head to see who it is.

"Kiddo- Wait what happened? Are you hurt? It's alright now, nothing bad will happen to you cuz I am here, come here baby." Toji immediately kneels down on one knee in front of you when he sees you are crying helplessly. He came home early today but found the apartment empty, it worries him so much that he immediately went out to look for you.

He cups your cheeks with his huge palms, gently massaging them. you want to see Toji's face but your eyes are too blurry, you can only feel the leathery skin of his palms.

This man fears nothing in this world, except your tears. He doesn’t fear how the Zenin family treated him before he met you, but seeing you cry is unbearable. He pulls you close to hug you tightly, left hand stroking you spine like you are a baby. A smell of sandalwood goes into your nose.

"Sorry I came late." He kisses the corner of your eyes, heart almost broken feeling your upper body shaking.

‘Did some bastards hurt you?’ A huge wave of rage fills his heart.

'I'll torture those bastards in the most terrific way possible.' Torturing someone is a piece of cake to him, he even kills people without feeling any sense of immorality. But he never lets you know.

"Toji I lost the cheque on my way to the bank… I am sorry." You spoke with few hiccups as you feel better in his arms.

"Mhm, is it the only reason you are crying? Please tell me you are not hurt." He didn't stop stroking you spine.

"No I am not, but I lost the cheque-'

"Don't mind the cheque, money means nothing to me when I've got you. Now let’s go home, shall we?” He turns around and gestures you to climb on his back, he is gonna carry you home. He gets up carefully to make sure you are holding on tight.

“Aren’t you curious of how i got this much money?” He asked on the way home. His muscular back feels amazing to lie on, it’s like you will never get hurt when this man is around you.

“You will tell me when you want to, everyone got secrets.”

‘That’s why you are so special to me.’ Toji knows he is not a person who expresses himself openly. But to you, he will try.

On the way home, Toji tells you how bad he was treated in the Zenin family. He never got financial support, even got locked up in a room full of curses. After becoming an adult, he earned a lot with his ability but he never found true happiness. Before he met you, he spent all his money in a speed of light cuz he was gonna earn them back anyways.

“Then here you are, a kiddo who suddenly runs into my life. You make me want to plan my future - a future that i am not alone. I start to enjoy simple things, i even developed a daily or weekly routine with you which i never thought of. So what’s so important with money if my baby is not happy?”

Toji feels surprised that he actually opens up to someone, and it feels good. He decides to tell you about his job someday, he needs time.

“I won’t let that happen again, i promise.” Your eyes become watery again.

“I have a method to prevent this from happening again.” Toji smirks.

“And what’s that?”

“Punishment.”

Seems you get into a real trouble this time.

[kojinnie]

Why you should NOT date AOT boys...

Headcanon on what kind of headache you're bound for when dating the AOT boys, and why I advise you NOT to date them! Enjoy, loves!

levi - eren - armin - reiner

part two here | erwin - zeke - jean - connie

— LEVI

He's an incredible man with a lot of talents and he'd be doing real good at his job, that dating him would give you a huge sense of pride. However, this man suffers from being emotionally constipated. He'd always keep you in the fine line of "are we or are we not?", even though you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. He’d never say “I love you” or any type of flashy display of affection. His love language is acts of service and quality time, so if you’re the type to wanting outward reassurance of how someone feels about you, Levi’s not gonna be the person to give you that. 

This problem stems from his deep, unresolved insecurity about the nature of relationship. It’s not just the “Am I good enough?”, he genuinely thinks that he is not a good person, and thus the inherent belief that everybody will abandon him in the end  — something he picks up from his traumatic childhood. He’s wary about establishing relationship because he’s afraid to succumb into his own feelings and vulnerability. He fears at certain point he has to feel and suffer the emotional consequence of being left by someone he cares for. He dreads the idea of getting caught off-guard with being fragile.

You gotta be extremely patient and understanding when it comes to Levi, the reassurance needs to come from you, and frequently too. Bluntly saying, “I’ll stick around” or “I’ll accept your shortcoming” is really soothing for Levi, because although he never shows it, he really thinks he does not deserve you.

— EREN

If you wanna be frustrated in a relationship where you constantly feel like you’re in an endless coaster, then dating Eren gotta be your poison. Sure the honeymoon phase was intoxicating, sure he makes you feel like the prettiest girl in the world. The morning text, the playful neck peck out in the public, the butterflies you feel in your tummy when you catch him staring at you even from afar with those oh so enthralling green eyes. But once the honeymoon phase over, Eren is quick to get bored. Especially if you’re an unproblematic, matter-of-fact type of person. Eren likes to fight, he gets thrilled by it, and he’s high with the rush of adrenaline. He likes it if you’re jealous, if you sulk, if you argue. He likes you to be ‘childish’ because then he gets to be the adult, the savior, the knight in shining armor. It grinds his gears. If you’re unfazed by his antics, if you’re easy to forgive, if you’re chill, Eren will think that you’re not really into him, and will exit the closest door out before his ego gets bruised even further.

Eren is sort of babied by people around him – his parents, his friends, and constantly being compared to his older brother doesn’t help either. He realizes that he got saved a lot of times by a lot of people. And this creates a deeply rooted insecurity with him that turns into an incessant impostor syndrome. The constant thought of not being good enough and the idea that all the achievement he’s ever got was the result of someone else’s help really crush him. You can shower him with praises and reassurance, but he would completely dismiss it, because he thinks your compliments are not based on objective views and that he does not deserve it. He painfully seeks for approval from any authority figure that (he thinks) does not have any emotional connection with him. And it can be really hurtful when he constantly dismisses your sincere compliments while desperately chasing from others who don’t care about him.

— ARMIN

It’s really hard to hate Armin. He’s a really nice man through and through, but what is his strength can also be his deepest weakness. He’s too nice and unsure about a lot of things. He knows he is knowledgeable, but he often doubts himself for being too ‘text-book smart’. Which is a valid cause, because at times he would get very oblivious to how relationship works, and treat feelings like it’s a quantifiable system. It will literally take years for him to finally get down and say how he feels about you, because all these times he was so busy filling the check-list in his mind to convince himself whether you truly like him or not, even though you couldn’t be any clearer with your intention towards him.

He is perceptive with what you think and how you feel, unfortunately this does not materialize into any action as he doubts his own intuition when it comes to his significant other. He fears that his own sentimentality has affected his intuitive judgment and thus deems it invalid, which is completely untrue because every hunch he has about you has always been accurate! That’s just how much he understands and knows you from years of quietly observing and taking each of your word into account.

He really relies on you sitting him down and telling him in details how you feel and the things you expect from him. He will do it, in a flash with no hesitation, but really, he just needs that verbal affirmation that he is doing the things that you want, and it’s not just based on his assumption. So, if you like sweet surprises, impulsive dates and expect your significant other to read your mind, Armin might not be the person.

— REINER

Oh my, truthfully, he is such a sweetheart, and can be completely smitten for the entirety of his life if he has found that one person. However, it’s a treacherous road for both Reiner and you to get to that stage. Initially, when you start to get closer to him, he may seem rigid and uninterested. The first date you had with him probably went awkward and although you really liked him, you were pretty sure he didn’t like you back, until he texted you the morning after, asking for a second date. That’s basically how being with Reiner is, a series of you being sure that he feels nothing towards you, only for his following action to prove the otherwise. He is really awful in displaying his emotion, he tries to be stoic all the time, and it often frustrates you because you cannot really tell how he feels, and you fear that you might have hurt him without realizing.

He may start to open up, only when you open up first about yourself. He thrives in romance with someone who he thinks shares his inner pain, and that’s very important for him, because he is always in a position where everyone expects him to be strong, and to have a significant other that understands his struggle is all he wants. But this gets hard for you, because sometimes Reiner’s sadness can be quite extreme and you cannot match that. Once Reiner realizes that you’re not on the same boat, he may become withdrawn, as he thinks he’s a burden and inadequate for you, and may end up self-sabotaging the whole relationship he has with you.

Although he does not like to admit it, but Reiner often slips into his sadness too deep, that it almost seems like he victimizes himself with his self-hatred. He will be the one to say stupid shit like, “You deserve someone better.” Or “I cannot make you happy.” When in fact you are perfectly willing to be with him all the way through.

With Reiner, you gotta be the bigger person, with bigger gestures and bigger patience. It’s because Reiner needs an anchor and a figure to lean on. In returns he would be the best lover that you will ever have for he is selfless and will be helplessly devoted to you.

Racking my brain writing for the rest of the boys (Erwin, Jean, Connie, Pocko) because they're the ones we SHOULD date.

Update: Thanks thanks thanks for everyone who read this! I received a lot of love and you dunno how much this encourages me to keep going. Anyway, 2 things:

- My Masterlist

- Talk to meeee ♡

[ON-GOING REQUEST EVENT]: Kojinnie's 200 Followers Celebration - 24/7 Writing Event

[andypantsx3]

subtle | shouto todoroki/reader

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

status: complete

length: 2,171 words

summary: Someone leaves chocolates on your desk. You're determined to track down the sender, certain it's a mistake, and Shouto Todoroki makes himself as unhelpful as possible.

tags: romance, reader-insert, fluff, valentine’s day

warnings: aged up characters (no smut though!!)

There was a box on your desk.

There was a box on your desk, and the sight of it was enough to instantly set you on edge.

The box looked normal enough, if a little fancy, maybe. Its lacquered top glinted brightly under the fluorescent office lighting, its smooth, polished sides waterfalling into the soft matte of your desktop underneath. You weren’t close enough to read the inscription, but you could just make out some elegant, curling script inlaid into the top of the box, possibly the name of whichever company had produced it.

The box looked very normal, in fact. Only, you knew it wasn’t. Boxes didn’t just show up in the middle of the Todoroki Hero Agency, a campus swimming with pros and armed with layers of security so deep it took even you--Shouto Todoroki’s manager--fifteen full minutes to get through screening every morning. It was something very much like being a prison guard at Tartarus.

So either this box meant the agency was dealing with a security breach the likes of which had scarcely been seen before, or someone had mistaken your desk for somebody else’s.

Which, considering it was Valentine’s Day, made a lot more sense.

Buoyed by the realization it wasn't a security risk, you crept closer, peering at the box, and the script resolved itself into the name of the extremely fancy chocolatier in Hiroo district that you made a point of drooling over every time you had to make a house call on Shouto. Their prices were literally insane, so you had never let yourself wander inside, unwilling to shell out an entire week’s pay for a tiny set of chocolates. Even if they did look absolutely fucking unbelievable from the window.

Your mouth watered.

That confirmed it--this was a Valentine's gift, and it was definitely a mistake. For the briefest of seconds, you’d wondered if maybe you had gotten obligatory office friendship chocolates, but this was too much. Some poor, love-sodden flop had gone out, spent their week’s pay on someone they were clearly very serious about, and then proceeded to fuck the entire thing up by plonking their gift straight onto your desk instead of their intended’s.

You frowned, quickly checking the box over for some kind of clue as to who had left it. There was no note included, nothing even mildly helpful that would give you the slightest hint of the person who'd left it here. Which left you with the question of how to return the box to the sender without knowing who they were, or how to pass it on to whoever they’d really meant it for.

You drew your bottom lip between your teeth, staring hard at the surface of the box like you could crack its code if only you glared hard enough. The box stared back at you, unhelpfully silent.

You were still skewering the box with your gaze some minutes later, determined to unravel its secrets, when a deep voice murmured from your doorway.

“You look puzzled."

You startled, whipping around to find Shouto propping up the wall, looking as unfairly handsome as usual. He was watching you intently, those heterochromatic eyes fastened to your face in that careful way he had, the one that always made you feel too warm and slightly unfocused. As usual, it was all you could do to remind yourself that you were a professional and he was something solidly between a friend and a coworker, and no matter how cute and attentive he was, you shouldn't get any ideas.

This morning, he was dressed in his hero uniform, tall and broad-shouldered, his distinctive hair only a little ruffled from his early patrol. It wasn’t often someone tried something in the districts he watched over anymore, probably too nervous to find themselves on the wrong end of the number four hero’s temper. You knew from the reports you received to your phone that the only trouble he’d encountered this morning was a pack of amorous school girls purposely misusing their quirks to draw his attention.

Thirty minutes ago, in fact, you’d almost spit out your coffee laughing at a photo of him looking wildly uncomfortable as he attempted to ice down some girl’s lava quirk with his right hand while fighting off her unfathomably enormous bouquet with his left. It was only right that he should suffer once a year, when every other day he got to stalk about as handsome as you please, oblivious to the effects his appearance had on every breathing person within a five mile radius.

You gave him an absent nod, gaze drawn back to the box on your desk.

“Somebody accidentally left something in here,” you told him, gesturing to it. “I’m trying to figure out how to track down who it was, or who it was meant for.”

Shouto made a small noise in the back of his throat, almost like a cough, and it was enough to startle you into looking up at him again.

“What?” you asked, peering at him. Was he coming down with something? It wasn't often he got sick, but when he did, he usually attempted to hide it and needed to be steamrolled into taking time off. You looked him over, trying to assess whether or not you needed to start badgering him now.

Shouto gazed back at you evenly, his expression deceptively bland. “...You think it’s not for you.”

You felt yourself blink at him, surprised by the comment and struggling to discern his meaning. What did he mean, you think it’s not for you? “Of course it’s not for me, Shouto, it’s from Grégoire Chardin.”

You knew he’d know the place, considering he lived in the same fancy rich people neighborhood as the chocolatier, but Shouto looked unimpressed.

“Why should that mean it’s not for you?” he asked, his tone dry.

The remark caught you off guard, as his comments sometimes did, and you bit down something like a smile. Bless his sweet, oblivious, rich boy heart. Either he overestimated your appeal to his agency staff, or he really did not understand the concepts of cost and return on investment.

“It’s expensive, it’s not something you would give someone as obligatory chocolates,” you explained, watching as a white eyebrow went up. His expression sharpened into something you couldn’t read well.

“It could be a secret admirer,” he said.

You stared blankly back at him, absolutely floored by the idea.

He thought you had a secret admirer? The idea sent an excited thrill all the way down to your toes, but you quickly squashed the feeling. So far, you'd never been on the receiving end of any furtive but romantic gestures, and you really didn't get any interested vibes from anyone in the office, no lingering glances or excuses to spend more time with you. The person who paid you the most amount of attention was Shouto, which was to be expected, considering how closely you worked together. And obviously he wasn't interested, he was just happy to stand in your doorway spouting wild conspiracies about his agency staffers like they were completely reasonable things to say.

“I don’t have a secret admirer,” you told him.

Shouto’s mouth pressed into a thin line and he took an intent step forward into your office. “Is the point of a secret admirer not to be exactly that--secret? How can you be sure?”

You couldn’t help it--you gaped at him, your face going weirdly warm. Okay, was he--was he serious? You obviously weren’t the most unfortunate creature on earth, and you even had your good days, but nobody in their right mind was going to attempt anything with you when there were girls like Nejire Hado and Ibara Shiozaki roaming the hallways of his agency. Even several of the analysts and most of the support crew had you beat out in terms of appeal--literally bless this man for his obvious indifference to your appearance.

“I, uh--thanks for your confidence in me,” you said, fighting down a laugh. “But I assure you, it definitely wasn’t meant for me. I just have to figure out who left it and who they meant it for.”

Shouto shifted impatiently, like he was waiting for something.

“You’re so certain,” he said, sounding frustrated.

“Of course I am,” you waved at him vaguely. It was actually super cute that he thought you could net yourself a dude who was willing to shell out Grégoire Chardin dollars, but you were just wasting time now, lingering over the least important part of this entire affair. “Listen, Shouto. I know sometimes men talk in the locker rooms. If you--if you hear anything, will you let me know? I just want to return it, it looks way too good sitting here.”

It was actually taking all your willpower not to open it and avail yourself of Japan’s finest chocolate, considering you would never have another opportunity like this again. Maybe you should just pretend it was for you....Really, no one could fault you for opening something left in your own office. But...no. No, you knew better.

Shouto appeared indifferent to your internal struggle. He watched you for a long moment, his features impassive. “Under one condition,” he finally allowed.

You cocked an ear to show you were listening, rifling around with the paperwork on your desk to distract yourself from the chocolate. You were strong, a good person. You had willpower like steel. You did not need to eat it, no no no.

“If no one comes looking for it by the end of the day, you will open it,” he said, moving closer.

You glanced up at him, shocked. “Shouto, this is someone else’s gift,” you hissed. “I can’t just open it.”

He placed a large palm down on your desk, leaning over you slightly. “That is my bargain.”

“You want me to steal somebody’s shit in your own agency,” you accused him. You tried not to pay attention to how close he had gotten, how straight his nose was up close, the way his eyes seemed brighter and his mouth pulled into a pout almost too pretty for a man.

The rest of his expression slipped into something like annoyance, matching his pout. “If no one comes for it, then it must be evident that it was meant for you.”

You suppressed a derisive laugh. Now was not the time to get shirty with your own boss, especially when his delusions were kind of sweet. It was honestly just short of a miracle that a man who looked like Shouto did could possibly think anyone on earth would have a thing for you, regardless of his own tastes.

“What if they’re just too shy to ask for it back?” you asked, watching those heterochromatic eyes flick over you curiously.

“If it’s as expensive as you say, someone will come looking,” he said. Which was actually kind of annoyingly reasonable.

A smirk flitted across his maddeningly perfect face when you failed to come up with another argument. He had a point, and he knew it.

You let out a gusty sigh. “Fine, but only because I’m certain someone will come looking for it. Please be subtle when you’re gathering info, okay? I'm sure this is embarrassing for whoever made this mistake.”

Shouto looked almost offended. “I am perfectly capable of being subtle,” he intoned in his deep voice.

This time, you did laugh. He was quiet, maybe, very perceptive, and unobtrusive when he wanted to be, but no one had ever accused the man of possessing tact. “Yeah, okay. Just, try to channel more subtlety than you think you need, okay? No one else but the sender needs to know about the mix up.”

There was a moment of silence, and then Shouto was leaning over you more fully, eyes glittering strangely as his clean, fresh scent met your nose. You froze in your chair, brain going horrifyingly vacant as he leaned impossibly nearer. What the fuck was he doing?

“It will be like I’m not even asking,” Shouto promised, his voice light. “Not asking anyone at all.”

You tried to scrape your thoughts back into something resembling order, but the effort was all but futile. You needed to get him out of your space stat before you embarrassed yourself.

”Okay, then it’s a deal,” you said quickly. “Now go...flambé a villain or something.”

Shouto lingered for a long moment, his mouth curling a little at the corner, like he was being let in on a secret you couldn’t hear. His eyes brushed over you, almost like a physical touch. And then he was gone, pulling open the door to your office, looking annoyingly pleased with himself.

“You will see,” he said by way of farewell. “You will find out how subtle I can be.”

You stared at him in confusion, but he didn’t explain himself. He just smirked, and closed the door behind himself.

[miekasa]

mie!! since u write such beautiful gorgeous astounding breathtaking life-changing tearjerking fics, do YOU have any good fic recs that you personally love 🤔

I do! I have a whole blog of wonderful fics I’ve read (tho I desperately need to update it/reblog the ones in my drafts and tag them) @ackermeun for more if you want because there are many lovely, talented writers; but I’ll list a few of my faves for Levi and Eren below 😌😌

Levi

kiss me more by @vennilavee

Now, I could recommend you anything and everything by Saran and I have no doubt that you would love all of it. There’s not a single thing in her masterlist that I dislike, she even made me okay with the idea of pegging Levi bye. The entire tbah universe (specifically parental moments one) has a special place in my heart, but recently the perpendicular world has been on my mind, and might be coming for number one. Either way, you’re gonna love it. She writes Levi in his slightly bitchy, kinda needy, implicitly affectionate, true to nature form, and I am so grateful for it. Also, Saran is a comedian. 

silver soul by @oi-levi (now posting from @bibblelevi)

I suck at keeping up with series, and, so, naturally, I’m terribly behind on this one, but I’m gonna go ahead and rec the whole thing to you anyway, because I have no doubt that the other chapters are just as great the two I’ve read so far. The way she writes Levi... when I tell you I could wrap myself up in a blanket and binge this whole series, and her entire masterlist, and be very content I mean it; her writing feels warm, that’s the only way I can explain it. 

the art of tea composition by @karikarasuno

I don’t remember how or when I found this fic exactly, probably just scrolling through the tag, but I love it. Domestic fluff with Levi, allowing me to pretend I’m a morning person, and just the right kind of smut to go with it. Simple and very, very effective. I’ve reread it a few times by now, no shame.

where you’re meant to be by @deludedimagines

After you read this, I also suggest just going after the whole masterlist. I cannot express how grateful I am to have found this blog PLEASE. Her characterization of Levi is perfect, and something about her prose feels very clean and simple, but elevated and layered at the same time. This one-shot in particular is one of my favorite canonverse pieces, I’m a sucker for a classic injured lover trope. 

the ones who matter most by @deludedimagines

Yeah... this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fantastic writing, fluff in canonverse has a special place in my heart because I think it can be really hard to pull off well; it’s difficult to balance a sense of softness within the aot universe for the obvious reasons, and getting Levi’s caring nature right can be (unfortunately) so hard to find. Good thing people like Sorcha are here. Enjoy more fluff. Also this fic is particularly fantastic to me not just because of the injured lover trope, but because the 104th babies pay a visit and you all know how much I love a good glimpse of reluctant adoptive dad Levi hehe

bullet by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface

If you can’t tell by now, I love canonverse fluff, tho this fic isn’t fluff in the traditional sense, but I think that makes it all the much better. Perfect depiction of real life shit that would go down in the aot world paired with Levi’s need to protect his s/o. It’s fantastic. 

the knife by @therealvalkyrie

I didn’t mean to turn this into Mie’s Favorite Canon Fics Showcase, but here we are anyway. As much as I love a good injured lover trope (and this does have that hehe), I love a good kickass reader insert, too. Shoutout to Valkyrie for included both in this fic, and Levi being proud of his s/o... well you can imagine how much I liked that bye

dante’s inferno by @alrightberries

College au + roommates au with Levi... that should be enough for you to read this lmfao, no but actually it’s adorable. Not to mention friends to lovers... if you know me you know how I feel about that, I’ll gobble up every f2l fic until I’m dead and gone. Not to mention there’s a cat and Levi won’t admit he likes it, or he’s jealous of it. Simply cannot go wrong here. 

waves know shores by @onwiings

Bro I don’t even like the idea of public sex and I’m not even a fan of water like that but this fic has me wrapped around it’s pinky lmfaoooo. Some of the best Levi smut I’ve read and you already know how I feel when Levi and reader have cute interactions with the 104th in fics. Really it’s checking every item on my list. 

Eren

speed racer by @emeren

I’m pretty sure I found this fic during my midterms last semester, and when I tell you I’m so grateful for it lmaooo. It’s really just a good au, I think it fits Eren (honestly barking at just the concept) and the writing brings it all to life. 

under the moonlight by @murmikaa

I’d have to be dumb not to recommend this to you. I love reading longer fics, and if you do, then this will 100% satisfy you. The whole story is great and immersive, not just between Eren and the reader; their relationships with the other characters are really what makes this special imo. There’s also beach sex, so. Obviously it’s good. 

untitled.avi by @puredivinity (now @celestidarling)

Naur you must of thought wrong if you thought at least one of Mara’s fics wouldn’t be here. I’m obsessed, I think I’ve read it three times minimum. I read all her Eren fics, and you should too. She writes him in such a dreamy way, almost like he’s right there and too good to be true that you must be hallucinating. Immaculate. 

midnight snacks by @writertitan

Dumb, college-typical antics and fluff with Eren... obviously you know I’m about that. The whole concept is so mundane, but so cute, you can’t help but fall for it because it could be so real!! I love that kinda stuff hehe 

i’m your satellite by @ackerfics

Comparing hand sizes with Eren!! YEAAAAH!! No, okay, but I read the summary and was ready to dive in because... size kink go crazy, but when I tell you I was so blown away to find out that it was not only from Eren’s pov, but that he was being a complete simp and down terrible the whole time. Normalize boyfriends being completely fucking in love with their gfs that simple shit like the size of their hand makes them wanna simp even harder!!!!

eren as an ass man by @hznji

I’m dying on the hill that Eren is an ass guy and you should too because it’s the objective truth. Fluff, Eren being a complete dog as per usual, Eren’s being touchy (I will also die on the hill that he’s touchy as fuck and has no concept of personal space) and just in genral snarky but cute banter. Gotta love that. 

Jean

tears over beers by @appplepii

When I tell you this is my favorite Jean fic, I mean it. Friends to lovers with hopelessly pining Jean + oblivious reader = everything I could have asked for in a fic, AND it’s from Jean’s pov too!!! INCREDIBLE!!! The pining made me yearn, and the smut was so well done, too. 

this drabble by @arlerted

Whatever, whatever, WHATEVER!!! I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!!! Cal is right, don’t do drugs but... this mf... this imagine.... has been burned into my mind since the first time I fucking read it bye. Callie also writes a bunch of filthy (affectionate <3) fics and drabbles and lewds and you should read them, preferably when you’re alone and with the lights off. 

[cursestothemoon]

Imagine sucking on a lollipop all day to tease Fred but you act like you don’t know what you’re doing and he eventually gets too worked up and ends up fucking you real hard. Maybe you also put on your old school uniform and tease him. Basically some light ddlg with daddy Freddie

JEALOUS POSSESSIVE SEX WITH FRED!!!!

It could be a headcannon or blurb- whatever you want- but can it be with a fem!reader please 💕

I combined these two requests :)

a/n: i jUST REALIZED I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MAKE IT DDLG WITH DADDY FRED OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY. I’ll write a separate ddlg, daddy kink piece for you, i am so sorry ☹️

Cherry Lollipops and Pleated Skirts

F.W. X FEM!READER

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

warnings: NSFW, vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), fingering, spanking, slight exhibitionism, humiliation, degradation, slight praise, dom!Fred, sub!reader, UNEDITED

No one expected the show to be so busy on a random Friday, but it was busting at the seams. Since the doors were opened at eight o'clock this morning, people had been piling into the shop and stealing your boyfriend's attention along with his twins.

At first, you understood the shop was important and you'd rather business be booming than have their dreams fall apart... but six hours of Fred not even having the time to spare you glance has catalyzed a faint change of heart.

You need him.

The flat above the shop- where you live with Fred and George- was incredibly boring without the boys. You had half a mind to throw caution to the wind, Fred's rules be damned, and use your own hand to get yourself to cum.

Fred had been beyond cruel with his early morning teasing, both of you assuming it would be a light work day and he'd find time to sneak off so you two could go at. At this point you were sure Fred was so busy he forgot about the predicament he left you in, you couldn't blame him- you wanted to- but you couldn't so you decided it would be best to subtly remind him.

You pulled out your old Hogwarts skirt and white button up shirt, with the skirt barely fitting as an appropriate garment to wear out in public. Your hips, thighs, and ass had all filled out as you blossomed into mid adulthood much to your-and Fred’s- pleasant surprise. The dark grey pleated skirt went just below the curve of your ass and brushed the tops of your thighs. The shirt still fit roughly the same, you tucked it into the skirt and left the top few buttons open revealing the soft skin of your chest along with a dark purple love bite peaking out from just under the limp collar.

You made your way down to the shop, a skip in your step as you thought out a plan. The hard candy and lollipop section was just a few feet away from the stairs leading to the upstairs flat, the stairs you were descending, and they were exactly what you were looking for. Picking up a cherry lollipop- you had convinced the twins to bring in a few muggle sweets to the shop- you unwrapped it as you walked over to the till and delicately placed it in your mouth.

"Should I even ask?" George laughed as he took the seven sickles you held out to him.

You shrugged, "You really wanna know?"

He shuddered making you smirk, "You're right. Last I saw him he was by the pepper imps."

The butterflies of anticipation multiplied as you gave George a beaming smile before turning to walk toward the pepper imps.

"And I'd like to keep my shop up and running, so please no funny business in the store."

You shot him a wink over your shoulder before sauntering over to where Fred was. The pepper imps were towards the front of the store but still tucked away in a corner, and as you neared them you could see a crouched Fred looking through the shelves and writing down on his clip board. You took a minute to look him up and down, his hands holding the pen and board making the items look ridiculously toy like, and his bent knees crouching position immediately drew your eyes to the curve of his butt. Averting your eyes from his backside, your gaze followed the lines of his forearms. He had his sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows and the writing caused his arm to flex every so often making you almost drop the cherry flavored sucker from your mouth.

Gently shaking your head and moving the lollipop from one side of your mouth to the other, you brought yourself back to reality and took slow steps to stand next to Fred. You pretended to browse through the shelves as he remained focused on his task.

Fred could sense someone standing next to him, and it took him a mere few seconds to realize it was you. He could be blind folded in a room full of people and he would be able to pick you out in a second from your perfume alone. It was his favorite smell, the way it mixed and mingled with your natural scent was intoxicating. His eyes fluttered shut as he took in your scent, before he turned his head assuming to meet your eyes- only it was your bare thigh that his nose was just about touching when he turned his head.

You watched as his eyes slowly travelled up the expanse of your leg, stopping for a moment when he reached the hem of your skirt, before continuing up until he met your eyes. They were big, bright, and teasingly innocent as your beautiful lips were wrapped around the top half of a big, round, cherry red lolly.

"Seems I've missed an imp." He smirked, extending his legs and raising to his full height.

"Maybe you should get back down there and count again." You suggested sweetly, pulling the lollipop out of your mouth with a pop.

Fred's eyes followed the sucker as you put it back into your mouth and started sucking on it, a faint hitch of his breath could be heard as you pushed it further back into your mouth. He looked around to see if anyone else was seeing the act you were putting on, luckily the corner seemed to be the only deserted spot in the packed shop.

"I'm busy, love, don't be a bad girl." His voice was low and soft as he spoke.

"But Freddie," You whined, drawing out his name before lifting yourself onto your tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "I need you."

Fred plucked the lollipop from between your thumb and forefinger before sticking it into his mouth with a smile.

"Good girls wait, you wanna be a good girl don't you?"

You nodded eagerly.

His eyes racked down your body one more time, his lips slightly parted and tongue prodding at the lollipop hanging out of his mouth as he smirked.

"Good, now go changed before someone sees what's mine."

It was clear this wasn't just a suggestion. He placed the lollipop back into your mouth and gently pushed your chin up to close your lips around the sucker before bending down to place a kiss on your forehead and nudge you in the direction you came from.

With a huff you walked back to the till with slumped shoulders and a sour impression making George giggle at your expression.

"Has he rejected your womanly charm and seduction?" The younger twin joked, earning himself a shove to the shoulder as you joined him behind the till.

You kept George company as he helped customers check out, your lollipop helping keep you occupied as time dragged on. Your elbows rested on the counter, your body bent over the surface while you watched the people in the shop.

Unbeknownst to you, Fred couldn't seem to get his eyes off of your form. The way you were resting against the counter had the hem of your skirt kissing the underside of your ass and he was sure if he could stand behind you he'd see your underwear peaking out from under the garment. The thought of throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you up to the flat was a tempting one, but he had enough willpower- or so he hoped- to resist the urge.

His willpower seems to be running thin, though, when he caught sight of some short bloke eyeing you up. The man wasn’t someone Fred was familiar with, and the way he was practically eye fucking you while you joked with George at the counter didn’t have Fred begging to get to know him. 

The guy continued to openly ogle at you, making Fred start to lose his temper as he restocked the edible death marks. He couldn’t tell if you had noticed or not, but you continued to swirl your tongue around that damned lollipop that not only made his pants far too tight but was probably affecting the man whore in aisle three the same way. 

With one final flick of your tongue against the sucker, Fred noticed the man start to make his way over to you, a sleazy smirk stretched across his lips. He tossed the rest of the edible dark marks onto the table with no regards to organization and took long strides to get to your side. 

You were mid conversation with George about the new girl he was seeing when you felt Fred wrap a firm, calloused hand around your wrist and tug you into his chest. 

“Everything al-” Fred cut you off with a large hand spread over your jaw, forcing your head to angle up, and pulling you into a heated kiss after plucking the lollipop from your lips. 

He held you to his chest as your body practically went limp in his arms, anything to just keep your lips locked with his. Fred kept his hand on your neck, moving it just slightly back to keep your head tilted back so he could deepen the kiss while his hand around your waist pulled your hips as close to his as possible- also trying not to get the sticky sweet sucker stuck on your skirt. 

The kiss left you breathless, your chest heaving as his lips moved to the underside of your jaw with heavy kisses. You almost forgot where you were with the way Fred was firmly holding your jaw and moving it himself so he could better access to the skin. Unfortunately, it was George who brought you back to reality making a soft blush paint your cheeks. Fred hung his head, nose prodding at your neck as he smirked before pulling away and standing straight. He popped your sucker into his mouth, a clinking against his teeth sounded as his tongue moved the sugary sweet hard-candy around in his mouth. His eyes were creased into a mocking squint as he stared down the now incredibly uncomfortable looking man. 

Fred didn’t wait for him to walk away, instead focusing his attention back on you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, nudging you in the direction of the stairs that led upstairs to the flat. 

“Oi! Where are you going?” George shouted just as you let out a loud giggle, Fred had smacked the underside of your butt as you climbed up the steps ahead of him. 

Fred turned to look at his brother, eye dropping into a wink, “I’m taking my lunch break.”

You giggled all the way through the flat and into your shared bedroom, Fred walking next to you with long strides and an arm wrapped around your shoulders, his hand holding the column of your neck. 

Fred closed the door to your bedroom before turning to you, he gave you an appraising look as he toyed with the lollipop still in his mouth. 

“You think this is cute?” 

His tone made your eyes shift and bottom lip jut, you were in trouble. 

“Walking into the shop dressed like a fucking whore...You just want attention, huh?”

“I wasn’t even paying attention to him! I was just waiting for you like you told me.”

Fred stopped for a moment, “...I never mentioned that bloke looking at you.”

Your eyes went wide realizing you gave away more than you should of.

“On your fucking knees.”

In record time your knees hit the hardwood floor, slowly crawling over to Fred. Your eyes were trained on the lollipop moving around his mouth and you think you understood just how agonizing it must’ve been for Fred all day to watch you sucking on it.

Upon reaching his legs, you worked quickly to unbutton his trousers and pull them down along with his boxers. You wrapped a hand around his semi hard cock, the weight of him in your hands made arousal start to pool in your panties. Your tongue replaced your hand, licking a broad stripe up from the base of his cock to the tip before placing a kiss on the spongy head while making eye contact with Fred through your lashes. The act made him shudder, his hand moving to grab the side of your head and fingers carding through your hair. Taking him into your mouth, you could feel each ridge and vein with your tongue making you moan around his shaft. 

“Bunny’s mouth was made for my cock, yeah?” Fred asked with a grunt as you slowly started to bob your head. 

You nodded as best you could but focused back on hollowing your cheeks and taking him to the back of your throat. His head hit the back of your throat making you let out a small gag before adjusting to breathing through your nose. Once adjusted you started to bob your head faster, your hands gripping his thighs hard enough to leave marks. 

Fred groaned around the lollipop still in his mouth- though now significantly smaller- his hips starting to thrust in sync with your mouth moving up and down his shaft. His breathe hitched when your hand started to massage his balls, tugging and rolling to get him to his release. 

The louder he got the closer you knew he was, so you started to suck harder and move faster. His fist closed around a makeshift ponytail in his palm, using it to tug you off of his cock. Your mouth made a pop sound as you were pulled off his prick, and you let out a whine at the loss of his taste. 

“Gonna cum in your- no...in my pussy.” Fred smirked, bringing you to stand on your feet and pulling your head back so you were forced to look up at him. 

He brought up his other hand to grasp the thin, white, stick of the sucker hanging from his lips and pulled the lollipop from his mouth. He used the red sugary bead that was left on the stick to gesture up and down your body as he spoke.

“Clothes off...save for the skirt.” He demanded, pointing at the pleated grey skirt with the lollipop. 

You were quick to do as you were told, shirt dropping to the floor along with your bra and panties all while Fred watched with dark eyes and an aura of possessiveness. 

Silently, Fred pointed the white stick toward the bed- the lollipop finally had reached its end- never taking his eyes off of your now nearly naked form. You practically skipped over to the bed, climbing up onto it slowly as to make sure Fred got a good glimpse of your bare cunt under your skirt. It was clear that you had succeeded when he let out low, barely audible, groan. 

Before you could real get a grip on what was happening, Fred had his fingers running up your slick folds, your skirt flipped up, drawing out a gasp from you. Moans fluttered past your parted lips as Fred started to rub small, tight circles on your aching clit. With the little white stick abandoned on the nightstand, his other hand was free to run up the inside of your thigh before his fingers moved to tease your entrance causing you to clench desperately around nothing. 

Fred gave you little time to adjust as he slipped his fingers into your entrance, thrusting in his middle and ring fingers roughly while his other hand still worked to stimulate your clit. Transitioning from tight circles to a flat hand rubbing back and forth harshly with more pressure had your back arching and eyes screwing shut. Fred continued to move his digits in a wave with each thrust, the pads of his fingers massaging the spongey area inside your pussy that had your toes curling. 

“F-Fuck, Freddie-” You gasped, hand gripping onto his wrist not knowing whether or not to pull his hand closer to your clit or push it away. 

Fred leaned over your body, his mouth attaching to any skin he could reach to roughly bite and suck before he pulled away to huskily whisper into your ear, “Louder. Say it louder.” 

You were more than willing to abide, not having the will power to try and keep yourself quiet either way. Fred’s fingers continued to thrust into your cunt as your orgasm hit you, a vulgar squelching coming from the vigorous action that had your hips twitching and lifting off of the bed. His large hand came down onto your abdomen, pushing you back onto the bed as you rode through your climax. 

“That’s it. Made a mess all over your pretty little skirt.” Fred tutted, removing his hands from your body to start taking the rest of his clothes off. 

“M’ sorry.” You muttered quietly.

Fred shook his head before going you a teasing smile, “It’s alright, kitten, you’re forgiven this time.”

Your chest heaved as you watched Fred undress which was always a breathtaking sight. His cock was already painfully hard, the tip red and leaking precum making your over sensitive cunt ache. 

“On your knees, hands holding the headboard.” Fred instructed, smacking your thigh gently to get you to move quicker. 

With shaky knees you crawled over to the headboard and gripped the wooden edge, making sure to wiggle your butt in Fred’s direction as you did so. The bed dipped with Fred’s weight as he climbed up and positioned himself behind you, his right hand trailing up and down the line of your spine before grabbing a handful of your ass with a grip sure to leave a few faint bruises. 

Fred lined himself up with your entrance, slowly pushing into your tight walls. The way your pussy gripped him had his eyes rolling back and jaw going slack, it was a feeling he’d never get tired of no matter how many times he felt it. Adding the breathy moans and whimpers that left your mouth into the mix and he could barely keep himself from fucking into you roughly. 

You bit your lip at the slight discomfort that came with the stretch of Fred bottoming out, the fronts of his thighs flush against the backsides of your own as you both took a moment to adjust. You let out a choked gasp as Fred pulled almost completely out of your pulsing cunt, his prick slick with your juices. He had his hands on your hips, using this as an opportunity to pull you back to meet his thrusts. His pace quickly sped up, soon the sound of smacking skin, loud groans, and cried out moans filled the room as Fred fucked you hard. 

“Tell them who makes you feel good. Want the whole fucking shop to hear you.” Fred growled from behind you. 

And who were you to disobey him?

“Harder, F-Freddie. Fuck-”

Both of you were sure George could hear not only the animalistic growls and pornographic moans but also the bed frame ramming into the wall and the sound of skin smacking almost painfully.

Fred reach around to start massaging your clit, making you almost drop your hands from the headboard as your hips twitched toward him. 

“Whose cunt is this, huh? Whose fucking cunt?” 

Your vision was blurring and words slipping your mind as he continued to pound into you and stimulate your clit. 

“Say it.” 

“Yours-” You sobbed, second orgasm approaching. “All yours, Freddie.”

Fred smacked your clit making you jolt, “That’s fucking right.”

Your body started to shake as you started to release around Fred, the intense pulsing of your cunt had Fred spilling his load into with a stutter of his hips. He held you close, cock completely sheathed inside of your weeping pussy as you both came. 

Coming down from your highs, Fred pulled out of you and promptly left to grab a washcloth to clean you up. You collapsed onto the bed, skin balmy and limbs shaky as you waited for Fred to come back. When he did, reworked quickly to clean you up and dispose of the wash cloth before climbing back into the bed where you had found yourself. He got comfortable on his side before pulling you into his chest and having your limbs entangle with his own. You weren't sure where you ended and Fred started, just how you two liked it. 

Fred pressed a soft kiss to your forehead while his hand delicately run up and down your back and curve of your waist. 

“You should get back to the shop.” You muttered quietly, not really wanting to let him go. 

Fred hummed before moving his hand to cradle the back of your head and nuzzle you further into his neck and chest.

“I think Georgie will be just fine.”

tags:

@siriusement

@amourtentiaa

@vsawyer1989​

@lifeofkaze

@theorangedrummer

@erinblack003

@famdomhideout

@an2402lths

@escapingrealitybyreading

@readyg0erge

@maybesandohnos

@therealhouseelvesofhogwarts

[spectral-musette]

She touched his face, fingertips light along his temple, nails delicately scraping through the short beard on his cheeks, lingering on the cleft in his chin before resting on his mouth.

“I thought…” she began, but then choked on a soft sob as the tears began to run down her cheeks.

“I thought you would be angry,” he said instead, nuzzling his cheek against her hand and then kissing the palm.

“I am furious,” she assured him, tenderly. “I am incandescent with rage.” Her lips were against his, her breath uneven in his mouth.

Directly following the Deception arc (Clone Wars Season 4 episodes 15-18), Obi-Wan asks for Satine's forgiveness for letting her believe he was dead.

Just over 2000 words, M in AO3-style rating, probably part of a longer work if I can ever finish it and think of a title.

. . . . . . . . . .

Obi-Wan had not protested very much when Padme offered him the use of her family’s lakeside retreat in the aftermath of the attempted abduction of the Chancellor on Naboo. He had, however, expected a slightly more modest structure than the sprawling villa he’d found upon his arrival. Despite the droids on staff, the place seemed empty, hollow, as though it still echoed with the voices and laughter of a happy family. So fresh from his undercover work, he wasn’t sure isolation was the best remedy for his rumpled spirits after the ordeal, but arrangements had been made, and he supposed he could make the best of it for a few days.

In some ways, he was eager to leave Naboo. The memory of Qui-Gon’s death still cut like a keen-edged blade here. But perhaps that meant he should stay, to meditate on his old grief.

Painful as that prospect was, at least it sounded more surmountable than returning to a Temple that had been mourning him.

He’d have to, eventually. Anakin’s (justified) expression of betrayal and Ahsoka’s wounded demeanor still stung, and he didn’t look forward to repeating these painful scenes with other dear friends, with Luminara, or with Quinlan. But until the GAR red tape was untangled (at least a few days), he was still officially dead, and granted all the freedom of a wandering ghost.

He felt a little like the ghost of his old self after a quick swim as he climbed out of the lake onto the patio by the house. He sat heavily on the flagstones, still warm from the sun even as the stars were coming out. The constellations of Naboo seemed startlingly familiar considering the few times he’d seen them. The span of nearly 15 years felt short tonight. Perhaps it was the mere stubble of hair on his skull, shorter even than a padawan’s. Perhaps it was the ache of his old Master’s absence. He tried to ground himself in the present; as he toweled off his wet limbs, the ugly burn scars from his duel with Count Dooku shone pale in the moonlight, and his face still hurt from the dreadful biotech that had transformed him into the Mandalorian marksman.

It was always Mandalorians, wasn’t it? Proof that the Force possessed a sense of dramatic irony that the brethren of the woman to whom he’d lost his heart seemed to continually haunt him.

The guilt of it weighed like a stone on his chest. The mission had dragged on far too long for Satine not to have heard news of his apparent death. He had hoped it might all be resolved before… Well, it had been an unlikely hope, anyway. Padme almost certainly told her immediately.

There hadn’t been anything for it. To ask for permission to tell Satine the truth before the charade would’ve been tantamount to confessing his feelings for her. Had there only been the censure of the Council involved it might’ve been one thing, but any careless word to the Chancellor’s staff could’ve proven disastrous for Satine and the gossamer-fine line she walked to keep peace and authority on Mandalore. He’d been keeping her safe even as he wounded her.

Just like the old days, pulling her out of harm's way, or shielding her with his body.

Only this wasn’t an accidentally scraped knee or bruised arm. Perhaps it was vain of him to assume, but he knew how deeply she cared for him, how intense her feelings ran…

He’d tried composing a message to her so many times. Even still in the guise of Rako Hardeen, when he caught a moment’s rest, he’d gone over it in his mind, lulling himself into an uneasy sleep as he tried to find the words to ask her forgiveness.

In the end, a forthright Forgive me, was the best he could muster, hastily sent to her private channel as soon as he’d gotten access to a comm unit at the conclusion of the charade. If you’ll listen, I’ll try to explain, but nothing will excuse what I’ve put you through. Know that I am so very sorry.

She hadn’t replied. He checked the comm unit again as he pulled his undertunic over his head, the rough linen soaking up the last of the lake water on his back, seeing only his own message, stark and insufficient.

He didn’t blame her, truly.

He’d slept since sending it, through the afternoon, reveling a little in the luxury of resting when he felt tired, regardless of the local daytime cycles. And he dreamed in disjointed flashes, mostly of her… her grief, her melancholy, her ire… of the glint of tears on her dark gold eyelashes, the quaver of anger in her beloved voice.

He wasn’t sure if he ought to just sleep again, now that night was here. Weary as he was, he felt he could sleep for days.

He heard the door from the house to the patio open. He didn’t look immediately, as it seemed likely to be one of Padme’s droid caretakers, there to ask if he required food or clean linens. But there was no whirring of servos, and the footsteps on the flagstones sounded too soft. He caught a whiff of an achingly familiar floral scent just as he turned.

She must’ve been too much in his thoughts already, his mind too clouded with guilt and regret and weariness to clearly sense her presence.

But Satine stood, silhouetted by the dim illumination of the house, resplendent in the scarlet gown she’d worn the night they’d met in secret on Coruscant, though her hair was loose about her shoulders, pale and shimmering in the moonlight. For a moment she was utterly still, then she merely raised a hand to her mouth, stifling a soft gasp.

He scrambled to his feet, keenly aware that this was not the state in which he wished to appear before his lady. His trousers were still sopping, his undertunic open to the navel, and his hair had barely grown in longer than the stubble on his jaw. But her eyes were only on his, and shining with tears. She took a few steps towards him, then swayed a little. He lunged to catch her around the waist; the last thing she needed on top of all the rest of the suffering he’d caused her was bruised knees. She twined her arms around his neck, and his knees gave a slow surrender too, such that the pair of them sank to the flagstones, wrapped in each other’s arms.

She touched his face, fingertips light along his temple, nails delicately scraping through the short beard on his cheeks, lingering on the cleft in his chin before resting on his mouth.

“I thought…” she began, but then choked on a soft sob as the tears began to run down her cheeks.

“I thought you would be angry,” he said instead, nuzzling his cheek against her hand and then kissing the palm.

“I am furious,” she assured him, tenderly. “I am incandescent with rage.” Her lips were against his, her breath uneven in his mouth.

He tasted it in her kiss, a fleeting note of bitterness and sorrow amid the heady sweetness of her relief and joy, the fire of her desire.

“I am so very sorry,” he repeated, abject.

“Oh, I hope so,” she replied, breathless.

As usual, Satine had the last word, as neither of them could speak for some time after that.

. . . . . . . . . .

She lay on her side, half propped up on her elbow, her head against the pillow and her hair spread across it in a tangle of pale spun gold. The bedclothes were pooled around her waist, and he deeply felt the intimacy and vulnerability they shared in that moment. He thought this image of her would be vivid in his mind for the rest of his days, however long that might be: the pale morning light on her bare skin, her flushed cheeks, the glint of unshed tears in her eyes, the soft swell of her breasts with her sharp, uneven breaths as she tried not to cry again.

Finished with his abridged account of the awful ordeal, he reached out to run the backs of his fingers along her arm.

“Say something,” he begged.

She sat up a little more, her hair falling across her face as she wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from him.

“It might be… easier to accept, if you’d done it for the sake of someone … worthy of all this pain. To protect Anakin or Ahsoka or Padme or…”

“Satine, I can’t decline a mission to protect the Chancellor simply because I dislike the man.”

“It isn’t a matter of dislike. There’s something… so… wicked about him. Manipulative and scheming. Don’t say it’s because he tried to put troops on Mandalore, and don’t you dare say it’s because he’s a politician.” She turned back to him, her gaze challenging.

“No,” he agreed prudently. “I won’t say that. I don’t disagree with you. He’s been a mentor to Anakin and to Padme for as long as I’ve known him, but I can’t help thinking it’s always been somehow for his own benefit. He steered Padme to get himself elected in the first place, and his grip on the office has been white-knuckled since. I can’t very well blame him for the war, but despite his lipservice towards peaceful resolution, the GAR keeps swelling its ranks.”

“I’ll blame him. Unfortunately, there’s no evidence to confirm it aside from my gut feeling.”

He placed a hand on her waist, his thumb tracing around her navel. “I’ve learned to trust your gut feelings. But dislike him, distrust him or not, my duty is to the Republic.”

He started to pull his arm back, but she gripped it by the elbow. He slid his hand to the small of her back, pulling her closer.

“What of your duty to me?” Her voice was quiet, but not without a note of beskar.

“Is it duty?” he asked. “I thought it was love.”

“Perhaps it’s very Mandalorian of me,” she said, “that we hold our most sacred duties to be to those we love.”

“Satine, I cannot put my devotion to you above the will of the Council or the good of the Republic. Not while I serve the Jedi Order.”

He almost expected her to pull away in anger or distress, but she shifted closer, pressing her face against his shoulder. “I know that. I’ve always known that. But it hasn’t hurt like this before.”

“Not since I left?” he suggested, burying his face in her hair and holding her tightly.

“No. Not even then. It wasn’t losing you, it was letting you go. This was… like I had died too.”

The guilt of it made his stomach turn. “I am so sorry, Satine. If there had been time to find another way… to spare you this…”

“The worst of it is that you knew how it would hurt me,” she accused. “And you still did it.”

“I knew,” he confirmed, regretful. “The Chancellor insisted on knowing everyone who was privy to the plan, and I had no time to even find the opportunity to disobey. I thought… the risk of revealing that you should be told…”

She let out a breath, hot against his skin.

“I think I’d have much rather run that risk than think you were dead.”

“If I’d had time to think it through, perhaps I’d have decided differently. But everything was snap decisions, and my instinct was to protect you.”

“And I can’t even be angry at you for that.”

“Of course you can be angry,” he soothed.

“Oh, what good does it do?” she demanded, lifting her head, fair brow furrowed. “Just wasting time quarreling when we have so little time together anyway.”

“Then you forgive me?” he asked humbly, kissing her forehead.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly, stroking his cheek. “I know that I still want you, though.”

“Then I am yours,” he promised, kissing her fingertips.

“At least it’s not an offense that’s very likely to be repeated,” she reflected, shaking her head a little.

“Not very,” he agreed.

“I feel like I ought to extract some promise… some penance. But I expect you’ve punished yourself enough.”

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. “The thing itself was terrible too. Not that I’m suggesting that what I went through can compare to-”

“Hush, darling,” she scolded. “It can be terrible on its own.”

“Sometimes I thought my death might end up not being a lie after all,” he said softly.

“Do you want to tell me?” she asked, her fingertips light across his brow.

He shook his head. No, he didn’t want to see how it would pain her, to think of him in danger, forced to behave as an utter villain. “Not now. Not more than I already have.”

She kissed him then, deep and ardent. “Then forget, for a while,” she said, breathless, her lips still brushing his. “Let me forget again. Make me forget.”

She hitched her leg around him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he shifted onto her, into the blissful oblivion where she was the center of the universe and the Force sang in resonance with their love.

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

Chaotic Foundling

Paring: Din Djarin x teen reader (GN)

Word count: 1,908

Rating : PG

Summary : Din's foundling is a wild thing and poor him has to do his best and parent them.

Warning: I am not really that wild so I did my best to show that they really don't have any boundaries in life lol. I hope you enjoy :)

It only took Din a day after taking you in to realize how much of a handful you would become. Sure, he thought that you were just a little on the hyperactive side…. He was quickly proven wrong.

“Stay put. Stay quiet.” Din sat you on the co-pilot’s seat of the Razor Crest. He was making last minute preparations for their departure off-planet. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” You hummed, swinging your legs in the chair as he walked off.

He made his way over to the sleeping quarters to check on Grogu. The Mandalorian was unable to make a proper check up as the ship suddenly jerked, tripping Din over his feet and face first into the floor. His armor rang loudly in his ears, disorienting him for several clicks before he managed to make a proper stance and run to the cockpit. There, he found you sitting in the pilot’s chair, his chair, a wild grin on your face as you gripped the controls.

You made a disappointed grunt when Din tried to pry your hands off of the controls.

“No!” You swatted at his hands in an attempt to stop him but he overpowered you quickly, landing the razor crest in a fast manner. The pit was silent except for the occasional beeping of machinery.

Din suddenly turned to you. “What was that?”

“You took forever!”

Din paused a moment, seemingly in disbelief despite not being able to see his face. “I was gone five seconds.”

----------

“Y/N! Stay put. I’m coming to get you.” Din stood at the base of a dune, staring up into the sky where you were. He had turned away for one second the next thing he knew was you got nabbed by local thieves who’d made a surprise attack, taken up into the air by one of them mounted on their cruisers as others surrounded him.

“No shit!” Your voice rang from above.

Din was quick to overpower the group around him. They were equipped with menial weapons that were nothing compared to his beskar. After throwing the last of the men to the ground, Din made a move to activate his jetpack when a body fell to his feet. He paused a click, seemingly unaffected by the sudden crack the body made and looked up at the cruiser where you sat alone.

To say that Din was proud would have been an understatement.

“Good job kid,” Din beamed underneath his beskar. “Sit tight, I’m- hey- wait- NO.”

Without giving Din a chance to finish his statement you dove into the air. You had no parachute or jetpack on your own. Instead you dawned a crazed grin on your face and a light in your eyes as you fell closer and closer to the ground. Your mouth opened to yell in joy, but instead made an “oof” sound when Din caught you midair.

“STILL ALIVE!” You exclaimed, dangling upside down from the way Din managed to catch you.

“Maybe if I drop you you’ll have some sense knocked into that head of yours.”

-----

Din thought that after the endless lectures you’d come to realize that you were to stay put where you were told as he went into battle. He quickly realized he was wrong when amidst the soldiers was speck of (H/C). He paused for a moment, unsure of what to think as he scanned the area for whatever it was he saw. Blasters grazed his helmet and hit a droid behind him, Din quickly straightened up and turned to the fallen droid before diverting his gaze back to whoever shot the fire.

There you were, carrying a blaster almost twice your size with Grogu swaddled on your back. And you were… laughing?

“Y/N” Din began marching towards you too.

“I wish I could have seen the look on your face.” You wheezed, jumping up and down. Din worried for the blaster in your hands and whoever was unfortunate enough to receive the next shot, most importantly whether it was to be on purpose or not. “Guess you weren’t ready for me to save your butt just now. You’re getting slow Din!”

A blast shot out of Din’s weapon as a soldier advanced toward the two children. You barely made a reaction as you were in the middle of spinning in joy.

“Where did you get that? I- Y’know what- nevermind. Go back to the ship. We’ll talk later.”

“But we like it here-”

“Now.”

You looked at Din a moment with a small frown. It quickly concerned Din when he saw that frown turn into a toothy grin, but before he could say anything a cruiser zoomed past him and all he could do was watch as you somehow mounted the vehicle mid-air, laughing with a wild glint in your eyes,

“No. Kid get off. No, no- Y/N! Hey!” Din broke into a run and followed the cruiser as you taunted him by sticking out your tongue and shooting the blaster recklessly.

---

The Mandalorian was assigned to hunt down a Bosa that had been terrorizing a peaceful farming village. After leaving you and Grogu to the care of the villagers, he spent the next several days tracking down the beast before he finally found it. What he was not expecting to find was you taunting the trapped beast with a metal pole and a blaster by your side. How you managed to trap it, Din didn’t know. He didn’t even want to know how long you waited before sneaking out of the village. But he turned to find Grogu nearby watching, giggling wildly until he fell over.

Din tried to call for you, but you didn’t hear as the beast roared loudly at you. You bore a crazed grin and screamed back at the creature, your face unnecessarily close to its mouth, and laughed wildly as you poked the creature with a stick. Just as the creature was about to try and bite you from it’s trap, Din picked you up and carried you and Grogu away from the creature.

“Can we cook it??”

----

With the amount of trouble you’ve caused for Din he’s learned to do a routine checkup to make sure that you had all of your limbs intact as they should be. With the amount of trouble you went into, from taking big falls and getting hit by a dewback -long story- he realized that checkups were a necessity as you probably had more mishaps and adventures than you let on.

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.”

“You need the bacta kid,” Din was hot on your tail as you ran away from him and the bacta spray in your hands. He quickly put you in a corner. “Aha. C’mere, it’ll only sting a little.”

He took some steps forward and knelt down, opening his hand so as to invite you to allow him to put the spray on your arm. For a moment, he saw your eyes soften and thought he finally got through to you.

“SNEAK ATTACK.”

Seemingly out of nowhere you smacked a metal breastplate against his helmet and made a run for it as he was disoriented.

---

For obvious reasons, Din had to find a lock for the armory. He took you and Grogu with him to the local market close to where they were given room and board for the night.

“Put it back.”

Your hand froze, holding a blade in your hand. You quickly stuffed it out of sight even though Din was ahead of you and wasn’t looking in your direction. “Put what back?”

Din stopped after a few paces, his attention turned to a fruit stand and began to pick up some and check to see if they were ripe. “What happened to the credits I gave you?”

“I lost them.”

A sigh. Din wasn’t surprised. “How?”

There was a pause.

“Gambling.” The largest smirk spreads across your face.

Din whipped around. He blinked for several moments and enunciated each syllable, tone almost sarcastic and defeated as though he was trying to not believe what you’d said “Gambling?” You nodded enthusiastically. With a sign, Din decided that he didn’t want to deal with any interrogation and cause a scene, instead he grabbed your arm to lead you in front. “We’ll talk about it later. For now, you in front until we get to the ship.”

The clan made their way down the marketplace until Din steered the troupe to a vendor with an array of weapons on her stall. You were left admiring the pieces as Din made his business. He needed some information regarding his next bounty and thanked the vendor afterwards, paying a little extra for her cooperation before turning to you.

“What?” You stared up at him with widened eyes.

Din held his hand out, “C’mon.”

You stared at his hand for a moment before sighing, fishing a small bomb out and placing it in his hand. The vendor watched wide eyed but said nothing as Din returned the ware to her and returned his gaze to you. “All of it. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

A moment. Then a sigh as you find that you had no way out of it. You pulled out all of the wares you’d stolen from the stand alone, putting them all on a considerably big pile on the stall while the vendor quickly retrieved them to put away.

“There.” You huffed, crossing your arms and turning away from Din.

“Thank you.” Din’s tone was sarcastic.

“Yeah, no problem rust bucket.”

Din shook his head and turned to the woman, “I’m sorry. My foundling hasn’t broken their habit of stealing. I hope you can understand.”

After he made you apologize to the vendor he took you by your arm and walked you back through the streets and towards the ship. He sighed, “I don’t know why I bring you to the markets. If you don’t stop this you’ll end up stealing from the wrong hand. And then what will you do?”

“Die probably”

---

Din knocked on the door of your sleeping cot. It was early morning and he needed you to help him with some preparations for the next trip off planet.

“Y/N. I need you to help me out with inventory. Can you come out?”

The door made a hiss before opening and you bounced out of the hull and zoomed off, ready to tackle the tasks. You were usually ecstatic to go off-planet, despite Din’s dismay as he knew it meant you’d find yourself into more trouble. He chuckled a moment and was going to walk off when the datapad on your bed caught his attention. He picked it up a moment and gazed at the screen.

You perked up at his voice while you were on your way to the storage below the floorboards. “Kid, what’s this?” He had the screen facing you, showing detailed maps of star destroyers and other military projects.

You gave the screen a glance before disappearing under the floorboards, your voice echoing louder from beneath. “I was just messing around a bit with some channels and found that.”

Din stared at the pit where you were for a moment before walking off into the cockpit, falling into his chair. He found himself facing an unprecedented predicament in which he was faced to call for Bo-Katan to inform her that his foundling had hacked into the Empire’s system.

Tag list:

@kiara-is-gay @sagedgeek

[neonlights92]

RUN: Chapter I

Jeon Jungkook hops from bed to bed, sleeping with as many beautiful, rich women as he can possibly find time for.  He’s young and attractive, with a silver tongue that gets him practically anything he wants.  So when his friend and boss, Kim Taehyung, tells him it’s time to settle down, Jungkook takes it pretty badly.  And when he finds out that the woman he’s destined to marry is, in fact, his little sister’s best friend, he is less than impressed.

You have spent your entire life trying to forget the way you feel about Jeon Jungkook.   So when you find out that Jungkook is to be your husband - and that he is anything but pleased about it - your world is thrown into chaos.  How can you survive a loveless marriage with the man you are hopelessly in love with?

WARNINGS: Language, some violence and eventual smut.

A/N: I changed Jungkook’s story slightly from my original story.  Hope you guys like it!!! Enjoy :)

You were in love with Jeon Jungkook. 

You had been in love with him, since the moment you understood what it truly meant to love someone. 

The engagement party was in full swing - people chattered around you happily, congratulating the supposedly happy couple - but all your attention was on him.

You watched him from across the expanse of people wedged between you both.  He leaned against the stone wall, observing, as he always did.  Arms crossed, dark eyes narrowed.  

You knew you probably shouldn’t watch him for long - that if he felt your gaze on him he would add it to the long list of reasons why he’d probably noticed you were in love with him years ago.  But you couldn’t help yourself.  He looked so handsome - so inviting - and you swore at yourself for still holding a candle to someone who didn’t see you as much more than an accomplice to his little sister.

Your best friend Nayeon had been born only a year after Jungkook, but sometimes it felt like he would treat her - and by association you - as a child forever.

“Stop staring,” Nayeon had sidled up beside you, a flute of champagne clutched in her hands, “You’re making it so obvious.”

You rolled your eyes, “You mean twenty three years of following him around like a puppy hasn’t been proof enough?”

She sighed heavily and slipped an arm through your own.  Nayeon had known about your unfortunate feelings for her brother for a long time.  Unfortunate because, really, in what world would your love ever be reciprocated?

Not only had you been relegated to little sister status long ago - but Jungkook was so handsome he could have any woman he wanted. 

It was well known that Jungkook was Bangtan’s resident playboy.  He’d made no effort to settle down in the years since turning a ‘marriage-appropriate’ age, and had done just about the opposite.  Flitting from woman to woman  (and coincidentally bed to bed) with an easy smile and eyes that could warm the hardest of hearts.

Eventually, of course, he would be forced to settle down.  Not only was he an important member of Bangtan - he was in the capo’s inner circle.  Soon Taehyung would choose a wife for him whether he wanted it or not.  Because Jungkook needed to produce heirs - it was what had always been expected of a made man.

“I’ve told you to talk to your father,” Nayeon’s voice was sympathetic, “Our families are such good friends - maybe the two of you could get married.”

You felt your chest pinch at Nayeon’s suggestion.  She was right, she had been telling you this for years.  But you knew that speaking to your father wouldn’t change anything.  Had told her just as much.

“Taehyung will choose his wife Nae, you know this just as well as I do.”

Her eyes softened and you felt yourself grow tired again.  Your feelings for him were exhausting sometimes.

“Talk to Taehyung then.  Your family is well-respected, Y/N.  It wouldn’t be a downgrade.”  

You scoffed, “For Bangtan’s golden boy?  C’mon Nae.  Let’s not start this again.  I’m not in the mood for it.”

Your eyes moved towards Jungkook once more, but they widened slightly when you realised he wasn’t there anymore.  Probably off flirting with some beautiful woman… 

Your heart clenched in jealousy as it always did when you imagined Jungkook with someone else.  

“Looking for me?” 

There it was.  His voice.  

You turned sharply, eyes lifting to connect with his own.  Jungkook’s face was unreadable as he stared down at you - and you wondered for a moment, if he was angry with you.

“What?” The word escaped you, “Uh… No.  No.  Just enjoying the party.”

Nayeon’s arm had slipped out of yours at some point.

His expression was dark and you felt like perhaps he was glaring at you.  Glaring?  Why would he be glaring?  Your chest tightened.

“You couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

The words sounded venomous, almost.  You felt confused.

“What?”

Jungkook quirked a dark brow, “Playing dumb doesn’t suit you, Y/N.”

Nayeon cleared her throat noisily and stepped between the two of you.  You were grateful for her presence.  Jungkook had never spoken to you like that.  Almost as if… He hated you.

It was so much worse than the way he usually treated you - like a little sister he begrudgingly liked.  What had you done to deserve this treatment?

“What is going on, Jungkook?” Nayeon’s voice held a note of warning.

His gaze snapped up to meet hers and he scowled, “This hasn’t got anything to do with you.”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Nayeon growled back, eyes narrowed harshly, “Y/N is my best friend and you, regrettably, are my brother.”

“Why don’t you ask your best friend, then?” He spat the words out almost viciously, “Ask her why I got called into a meeting with Taehyung, our father and her father, this morning.”

Your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your throat. 

“What?”  Your voice was quiet - little more than a whisper.

Jungkook’s eyes shifted for a moment and he softened - before his face became that impassive mask again.  It was the Jungkook of Bangtan that stood before you.  Not your Jungkook.

Not the Jungkook that used to pull on your hair when it got too long, or the Jungkook that taught you how to swim.  This Jungkook was scary, unpredictable even.

“I suppose I should welcome you to the family,” His voice had lost all of it’s anger - it was just cold now, “Mrs Jeon.”

Your heart stopped.

“I….”

“What are you talking about, Jungkook?” Nayeon interrupted and though you wanted to look at her, your eyes seemed incapable of moving away from Jungkook’s.

He wasn’t glaring at you anymore, thank god, but now his face was just blank - unmoving.  You recognised that look from your own father’s face.  Long ago you’d dubbed it the Bangtan face.  The way coldness seemed to freeze over any warmth.  It frightened you more than any anger could.

“I’m marrying her,” He said, emotionless.  Like a robot, “At the earliest opportunity, apparently.”  His eyes flickered for a moment, and you thought you saw something gentle, in them.  But it was soon replaced by that same, cold indifference.

“Me?” You squeaked, heart thundering in your ears.  

Nayeon was silent.  It was the first time in a long time that something had left her truly speechless, you reckoned.

When Jungkook nodded, once, sharply, your insides twisted.

“I’m sorry,” You felt the tears burning, but you refused to let them fall, “I didn’t… I never asked for this.  I swear, I had no idea.”

The conversation you’d had with Nayeon just moments ago flashed through your mind.  It was so ironic you almost wanted to laugh.

“Your feelings for me have become… Increasingly clear in the last few years.”  Jungkook’s tone wasn’t cruel, but you felt the chill in it, “I suppose your father realised, as did mine.  Taehyung has been wanting to marry me off for years, so he was only happy to accommodate.”

On the last word, you flinched.

Accommodate.  Like you were a burden being handed to him.

“I’m sorry,” You repeated, although you weren’t entirely sure what you were apologising for.  Was it your inability to keep your feelings under check?  Should you really feel sorry for something you couldn’t really control?

“It’s not your fault, Y/N.” Nayeon had seemed to regain some of her sense, “You know how this world works. She didn’t choose this, Jungkook.”

But you could see that he blamed you.

And in some ways you understood.  It was your clear feelings for him that had caused a matrimony that he didn’t want.  Jungkook valued his independence, his freedom.  He’d told Nayeon and yourself time and time again that he would try to delay his getting married as much as he could.  Another twenty years, at least. 

And now he was saddled with you. 

You had taken away that freedom he treasured so dearly, without even meaning to. 

“No I didn’t choose this but I am sorry,” You felt like you might crumble to dust under Jungkook’s stare, “I shouldn’t have made my feelings so clear.”

The words were difficult to say - was it really your fault that you loved him? - but they seemed to do the job.  Jungkook’s shoulders relaxed and his face softened.

“So you didn’t ask for this?”

You shook your head once, rigidly.  

“Then I’m sorry for getting angry,” He said gently, his eyes roving your face carefully.  He was doing that thing he always did - he was trying to read you - the same way he read everyone.

But you were like a book to him, weren’t you?  So open.  So obvious. So easy to read.  He barely needed to try.

Jungkook had never made it as clear as he had right now, that he knew you were in love with him.  You supposed you should be embarrassed - and you were, to a degree.  But some part of you, a much larger part, just felt sorry.

“And I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”  He added, hands moving towards the pockets of the trousers he was wearing, “But in a month’s time, you will be Mrs Jeon Jungkook.” A month? You felt sick - like you might throw up.

This was all you’d ever dreamed of… But you didn’t want it like this.  Forced and angry.  You wanted love and passion and affection.  Things you knew Jungkook didn’t feel for you.

Things you’d always worried he’d never feel for you.

You were content watching him from a distance but now?  Now he was up close and personal, and you could barely meet his eyes.

Without another word, Jungkook slipped away from you, probably off to find some kind of alcohol to drown himself in.  In one month you would be Mrs Jeon Jungkook…

“Oh Y/N.” Nayeon’s voice caught, and suddenly you realised you had started crying.

The man you loved probably hated you now and in a month you would become his wife.  Any hope of Jungkook reciprocating your feelings for him disappeared.

It was all one big, scary mess.

//

You hadn’t spoken to Jungkook since the night he had told you about your upcoming nuptials.  From the little information Nayeon had been able to gather, he wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of having to marry you.

“He’ll come around,” She told you time and time again.  But you could barely bring yourself to believe her.

It had been years of loving him.  Years of watching him from far away and never being able to call him yours.  Why would that change now?

How could it change when he probably despised you for this wedding?

You couldn’t bring yourself to hope for anything more than civility.  Anything else would break your heart.

Everything about the wedding had been decided for you.  Down to even the dress.  You had tried things on, a mannequin for the women of your family and the Jeon family.  Your mother had tried encouraging you to enjoy yourself, as had Nayeon, but nothing seemed to work.

“I’ll be married in a week,” Your stomach twisted, “And Jungkook hasn’t even looked at me since that night.”

“He’s just getting used to the idea Y/N.” Nayeon tried to convince you but it was as futile and pointless as ever.

“He hates me.”

“No he doesn’t. It’s Jungkook.”

You felt your heart pull uncomfortably. It was Jungkook. You wanted so badly for him to be yours - had spent years and months and hours thinking about it. And yet….

That would never happen.

Nayeon was helping you wrap up the wedding favours. Another thing you’d had no part in choosing. Jungkook’s mother had ordered bracelets for the women and cuffs for the men.

“Don’t you have someone else to do this?” Nayeon fiddled with the baby blue crepe paper, “I’m so bad at this.”

“I asked to do this.” You shrugged, “It was the only thing my mother trusted me with. I wanted to feel somewhat useful.”

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

Any hope of magic for your special day had been obliterated the moment Jungkook had confronted you. He would never accept this marriage as anything other than something he’d been forced into.

And he would probably always blame you for it.

“It’s alright,” You cleared your throat of the thick tears threatening to spill, “I never expected to choose anything for my own wedding anyway.”

“Still.  This is meant to be exciting.” You laughed and it caught in your chest, sounding suspiciously like a sob.

“I’m marrying the love of my life and yet… I’m miserable,” You shook your head, “Only Bangtan could be capable of causing something like this.” Nayeon opened her mouth - maybe to tell you that her brother would come around - when a knock at the door stopped her.

“Yes?” You answered quietly, half expecting it to be your mother with yet another ridiculous demand.

The portal opened and revealed your husband to be - Jeon Jungkook - looking decidedly sheepish as his eyes met your own.

Sheepish?  Jungkook?  It couldn’t be.

“Your maid… Jennie.  She let me in.”

You nodded and felt the questioning gaze of Nayeon flicker between both you and Jungkook.  What was he doing here? You were curious, too.

“Could I… Nayeon…Could I talk to Y/N for a minute?  Alone?”

Nayeon curled her top lip, “You’re not going to be an asshole to her again, are you?”

When Jungkook gave her a look that could freeze hell over Nayeon merely shrugged. Though they’d grown up in Bangtan - and though Jungkook was as dangerous as they come - Nayeon and him still shared a relatively normal sibling dynamic.

They were both stubborn of course, with tempers that could rival even the scariest Bangtan member…. But they loved each other.

And they were fiercely loyal. A Jeon trait, you’d come to learn.

“Just five minutes okay? Then you can continue to be a pain in the ass,” Jungkook glared at his sister as Nayeon stood, eyes narrowed.

“I’ll be just next door Y/N. Scream if he pisses you off.”

She patted your hand, face still scowling at her brother.  He flipped her off before she pulled a face, sliding out of the room with a quiet click of the door.  When you were alone with Jungkook, your heart felt like it was going to crawl out of your mouth.

His eyes were almost warm as he turned to you again.

“Y/N I wanted to… Apologise, for my behaviour at the party earlier this month,” He seemed genuinely sorry, “And for…” He trailed off before clearing his throat again, “And for ignoring you, the last few weeks.  This marriage has been difficult for me to process.”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

“But I wanted to come here and tell you that… If we’re getting married to one another, then I suppose we should try to get along for the sake of our own sanity.”  He stepped towards you and almost looked like he wanted to touch you, but thought better of it, “But that doesn’t - I don’t…” He paused and you noticed his eyes seemed almost sad, “I know how you feel about me, Y/N.  But I can’t… Promise anything.  I’ll be kind to you like I’ve always been.  And we might grow closer because of this marriage but… That’s all I can offer.” 

You knew what he was saying.

He was happy to be your friend.  Maybe to even warm your bed at night.

But Jungkook would never love you as you loved him.

You nodded, mutely, feeling that if you said a word you might break down in tears.  And you refused to let him see you that way, no matter how much your heart ached.

“I don’t want you to resent me, Y/N.  But I’m not… I’m not a man of commitment.  You understand, don’t you?” You almost laughed in his face.

He wasn’t a man of commitment? Jeon Jungkook spent every day of his life committed to the cause of Bangtan.  He was willing to fight for it.  To die for it.

It wasn’t commitment he didn’t want - it was you.

He didn’t have to lie to try and placate you.  You were a big girl.  Stronger than he took you for.

“You will never love me as I love you.”  You said, voice hollow, “Is that what you’re trying to say Jungkook?”

He winced, “I’m sorry.”

The words hurt you more than if he’d slapped you across the face. He was sorry? 

“Please don’t apologise,” Your chest twinged, “There’s nothing to feel sorry for.” The way he was looking at you made everything a million times worse.  You felt like a glass vase, teetering off the edge, about ready to shatter into a thousand pieces.

After a moment you cleared your throat, “How long?”

He raised a dark brow, “What?” “How long have you known about my… Um… Feelings for you.”

Jungkook shifted, clearly uncomfortable, but you decided you didn’t really care.  If you were going to spend the rest of your life committed to a man that didn’t want you, the least he could do is give you this much.

“Since your sixteenth birthday party.”

The memory seared your heart and your stomach fluttered.  Even thinking of it now, almost ten years later, caused something indescribable to pass through you. 

It had been a summer’s evening - you were born in late August.

Your mother had planned this overly flamboyant affair (she had a flair for the dramatics, clearly) and though you hadn’t wanted to attend, you’d done so anyway, not wanting to upset her after all her hard work.

And of course, she’d invited all the girls from Bangtan’s most powerful families including your arch nemesis at the time - Jihyo. 

Jihyo was as beautiful as she was mean, and though she was a little older than you were she never passed up the opportunity to humiliate you.  Your birthday was no different.

When you’d turned up in that ridiculous excuse of a dress - a frilly, pink puff pastry of a thing - Jihyo had spent all evening making fun of you in corners, and whispering cruel things behind your back.

Nayeon had threatened to bite her nose off but the both of you knew she was untouchable.  Jihyo was the Taehyung’s father’s niece.  She moved around the room like she owned it (and in a way she did) and it wasn’t until she made a comment about the angle of your mouth that Jungkook had stepped towards you and taken your hand.

Of course, Jihyo seethed with anger and jealousy all night. 

All the Bangtan girls wanted just a little of Jungkook’s attention - but he spent all evening treating you like a princess.  He laughed at your jokes, and danced with you, and even tucked your curls behind your ears. 

And you knew it was only because Jihyo was a bully and Nayeon was his little sister so you were too, in a way, but it didn’t really matter.  Because that evening it was like he’d plucked the moon right out of the sky and placed it in your pocket.

That was how special you’d felt.

And that was the Jungkook you fell in love with.

You nodded,  once, sharply and then took a deep, calming breath.

“You don’t have to worry, okay?”  Your voice was shaking but you forced yourself to move past it, “I won’t let my feelings for you get in the way of things.  Ever.  I know what this marriage means to you.”

For a moment - just one moment - it seemed like something close to regret flashed past Jungkook’s eyes.  But it was gone before you were even sure you’d seen it.

“Thank you, Y/N.”  He bowed gently and you tried to smile.

It was only later on, when Nayeon came back with a cup of chamomile to calm your nerves, and a sympathetic smile to stroke your pain, that you finally gave way to the tears that had threatened to spill since Jungkook’s arrival.

This was all a fucking mess.

//