#probably going to be my icon for the next couple of weeks

[hannieehaee]

EUPHORIA (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: you've been inseparable with jungkook from the moment you landed in korea. from the initial language barrier to your group's immense success, you've remained dubbed as an iconic duo. but what will you do when a single moment changes everything between you?

content: idol!jungkook x idol!reader, f2l!jungkook, 8thfemalemember!reader, afab reader, reader is implied to be a foreign member of bts but you can assume all dialogue is supposed to be in korean, pretend this takes place during 2018/19 while they promoted fake love in the u.s, appearances from the other members, pining, miscommunication, dumb insecurities, smut, dry humping, body worship, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 1.6k (teaser); 12.5k (full fic)

RELEASE DATE: december 22nd

or you can check it out on my patreon today by subscribing!

a/n: this was not fully proofread cuz it took me veryyy long to finish, so pls excuse any small mistakes<3

masterlist | patreon

"That's not how you're supposed to do it."

You sighed, movements halting and your eyes closing in annoyance.

Turning to face the culprit of the comment, you reopen your eyes, ready to snark at the exact person you were expecting.

"Do you have to be the bane of my existence?"

He chucked at that, nodding at you to turn and face the mirror located behind you once more. It was foggy due to the inhuman amount of heavy breathing exchanged in the practice room, but you could still easily make yourself on it. And Jungkook too, of course.

Standing behind you, — with an offensive lack of distance between your bodies — he grabbed onto your arms from behind, helping you position yourself to perfection, even to the exact inch, of the move you were trying to perform. His eyes found yours on the mirror, giving you a short smile before beginning to guide you through the small transition you'd been struggling with.

"See? Like that," he said once finally letting go of you after walking you through it a few times. By the end, you had gotten it as perfectly as your choreographer had described to you a few hours ago.

"Thanks, Kook."

"Thought I was the bane of your existence?", he chuckled as he bent down to collect a water bottle, taking a sip before handing it to you.

You were usually more worried by boy germs than this, but Jungkook proved to be an exception through the past few years.

You swallowed your sip, "Yeah, but I still have manners."

"C'mon, we should head back to the dorms. You've been at this all day. You beat Jimin at hours logged into the practice room this week," it was meant lightheartedly, but it was true. You'd practically been living here for the past few days.

"Where are the guys?", you wondered out loud as you followed him out.

The dorms, as Kook had called them, were really just a small living space located within the building. There were talks of moving onto a larger building within the next couple of years, but for now you were content with your living arrangements. Despite all of you either owning property or having family outside of the company building, you and a few other members usually opted to stay there due to convenience. You and Jungkook were the main ones to do so.

"Well, we technically have the next few days off, so I'm pretty sure they went visit family while they can. We probably won't be back in Korea for a while after promotions start."

It was true. You were soon due to head to America to promote your newest comeback. This was the first time you'd be taking promotions out of Asia and into the west, which made all of you incredibly anxious. As the most fluent English speaker in the group, the task of being the group's representative should've fallen on you, but luckily Joon had decided he'd be taking the brunt of it for you.

Still, you were terrified to open yourselves up for a way bigger audience.

"You good?" Kook interrupted your thoughts.

"Yeah, Kook. Don't worry about it."

The two of you headed over to the elevators, pressing the button leading you to the floor where your rooms were located. It was likely no one else was in the building at this time — holy shit, was it really 3am? — meaning that you and Kook would likely get some well-deserved rest in the privacy of the dorms.

That was one of the few nice parts of belonging to what once was a very small company. You had no sibling groups as of yet, which kind of made you own the place (or at least that's how Taehyung would put it sometimes). Late at night, it was just you and your group mates with the occasional presence of staff. Though more commonly, it was just you and Kook opting to stay together into the depths of the night.

"Nervous about flying to the U.S?", he voiced when the metal doors closed in front of you, caging you in with your friend.

"Maybe. You're not?"

He shrugged, "It's just like any other performance. You should be the least nervous. You speak English. You already know what America's like."

"Me? I'm the only girl in the group. I'm gonna stand out like a sore thumb," you whined, earning a chuckle from him.

It was a rare situation, being a girl in a group full of men. Other co-ed groups existed within Kpop, but they usually held a better boy-to-girl ratio.

But this wasn't really the reason you were nervous.

Opening yourselves up to an entire new audience within a mere five years since debut was an entire new battle you'd have to face. Worst of all was that no other Kpop group had ever truly promoted in the west before now. You were given accolades as trailblazers, but at what cost?

"Hey," Jungkook called your attention again, gesturing you to follow him into the hallway that would lead you to your room, "C'mon, let's find something to take your mind off of this."

Leading you into his room rather than yours, he sat you on his couch as he went back out to peruse the kitchen of any food he could get for the two of you for an impromptu night indulging yourselves. You relaxed as you waited, appreciative of Jungkook immediately noticing your lack of ease and working towards getting you cooled down again.

He always did have a way of being in tune with your emotions that no one else did.

His room was spacious and tidier than the average for a man in his early 20's. It was common for you to spend time here rather than in your own room. You had always been one to wander in search of your bandmates, and Jungkook just so happened to be the most receptive to it of them all.

The click clank of bottles bumping into each other was your first indicator of his return, making you look up from the couch, unable to withhold a smile when you saw him balancing various bottles of soju in his arms while also attempting to carry a few packets of spicy ramen.

Getting up to help him, you aided him in setting down all his snacks on the coffee table, moving aside any remote and controller that was in the way. Your usual set up was established then, as it had countless times before. It consisted of you and Kook on his old couch (that he refused to replace from the old days in which you could barely afford any luxuries) with a variety of alcohol and snacks accompanying you through the night.

He took a seat on the floor while you remained on the couch. It was common for him. Something about being at optimal proximity to the food on the table.

"We've got two more nights left in Korea. What do you wanna do to spend the time? And no, practicing isn't allowed," he interrupted you before you could respond.

You huffed, shoulders slacking before going back to their usual posture, "Well, then I guess just this."

"Just this? My dorm and some soju?"

"Yep. We're going to be overwhelmed by people and schedules as soon as we leave Korea. Might as well enjoy the quiet alone time," you reasoned.

Jungkook hummed in pensiveness, "Does it really count as alone time if it's together?"

"I like my alone time better when I'm with you," was your response.

And you meant it too. The quiet sometimes became too quiet if Jungkook wasn't around. You'd known him since you were 15 and had been unable to imagine an existence without him since.

It was joked around by members and fans alike, that the two of you were attached to the hip. Some people would even call you a dynamic duo due to how often you were together with no distance between you. Of course, you were shipped and speculated as a couple, but that did nothing to deter your friendship.

Had you been a smarter person, you would've noticed Jungkook's bashful smile at your response. But you'd grown so used to his constant company that the idea of anything further than platonic did not compute in your brain. You weren't even sure if you were opposed to it; it was just nonexistent to you. It was as if he'd spawned as your friend one day and you never once stopped to question it.

"Well, let's enjoy it while we can," he finally responded as he handed you a now-opened bottle of soju.

Clanking bottles, you each took a small swing, settling in for a night that you'd likely not spend sleeping. You settled closer to Jungkook after that, letting yourself slide off the couch snd knocking shoulders with him as you took a seat on the softness of the rug under you.

"What do you wanna do to spend your last few nights of freedom?" you asked after some silence.

"I'll do whatever you want," his head fell to your shoulder, "We can just camp in here til they come get us for our flight on Monday."

You hummed in absentminded agreement, sipping at your drink a little more.

Jungkook turned to look at you then, slight bunny smile showing through.

"So, is tonight a blackout drunk night or do you wanna stay up and watch some movies?"

"Hmm. Maybe a mixture?", you suggested.

With a grin, he raised his bottle for yet another clink before taking a drink from it in tandem with you.

...

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[liviawildrose]

𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

read this to transform your life

hey guys! today, we’re diving into something that can literally transform the next 20 years of your life. why? because pluto has officially entered aquarius, and let me tell you, this is huge. if you’ve got aquarius anywhere in your birth chart like i do, you’re probably already feeling that intense energy—the urge to level up, get things done, and completely reinvent yourself. i mean, look at me: this is my second vlog today and i’ve been non-stop posting since yesterday. it’s like this cosmic shift has supercharged me, and i know it can do the same for you.

but don’t worry, even if you’re not an aquarius, this energy is hitting everyone in some way. so whether you’re ready for it or not, pluto in aquarius is here, and it’s bringing transformation on a massive scale. now, this blog is part of my series called the “game of life”, but since this pluto shift is so major, i’ve decided to make this a crossover between the two themes. we’re going to talk about how to actually use this energy to change your life, level up, and play the long game to completely transform the next 20 years and beyond. so, if you’re ready to tap into this cosmic power and take control of your future, follow along because this blog might just change your life.

just before we dive in, i want you guys to check out a blog i posted a couple of weeks ago—it’s all about the first steps to getting your shit together. it’s a great starting point for understanding how to lay the groundwork for your transformation journey. if you haven’t seen it yet, head over to blog “first steps” and give it a read. trust me, it’ll help you get a solid foundation before you dive into the next level of this process.

avatar

okay, now that you’ve got your basics down from the previous blog, let me introduce you to the game of life. this is where things get fun. first, we’re going to focus on creating your avatar. now, if you’ve read that earlier blog, you’ll remember i talked about building an alter ego. for example, mine is called livia wildrose. she’s my vision of absolute perfection the version of me i aspire to be. this is your chance to go wild. grab a journal and start designing your alter ego and how her life is. i don’t care how crazy, bold, or unrealistic it might seem this is your imagery of perfection. who is she? how does she look? how does she act? what does her life look like? write it all down. get creative draw her, make a mood board, whatever feels right. this is your blueprint. now, here’s the twist: in the game of life, you are the avatar. your current self, with all your flaws and strengths, is the player in this game. your mission? to become your alter ego. think of it like this: your avatar (you) might not have everything your alter ego has right now. maybe she’s more confident, more successful, smarter, richer, or better-looking. but that’s okay because she represents your end goal. every step you take toward embodying her, every choice that aligns you closer to her energy, earns you points in the game of life. the idea is to bridge the gap between who you are now (your avatar) and who you want to be (your alter ego). every time you make progress whether it’s a mindset shift, a small win, or a big milestone you’re leveling up. this is how you win the game.

for example, let’s say your alter ego is this ultra-rich, world-famous singer, idol, and total icon. she’s confident, magnetic, and lives her dream life effortlessly. that’s your end goal that’s your alter ego. now, your job is to build her. create her personality, her habits, her lifestyle, her goals, and most importantly, her mindset. think about it what kind of mindset does she have? does she radiate confidence? does she have unshakable discipline? does she take no for an answer, or does she turn every rejection into motivation? for me, my alter ego, livia wildrose, has a queen-like, goddess-like mindset. that means every single brick life throws at me, i’m gonna build a castle out of it. scratch that i’m gonna build a shrine. nothing breaks me; i only get stronger, wiser, and better. that’s how livia wildrose operates, and that’s what drives me every single day.

imagine you’re playing a game where you have to build a village from scratch. when you start, you don’t just dive in blindly—you go around and observe how other players have built their villages. you notice their strengths, but also their flaws. maybe someone’s village is too cluttered, or their defenses are weak, or their farms are in the wrong spots. you take mental notes: ‘okay, that’s not my vibe. i’m not gonna do that.’ this also brings me to the point that learn from other peoples mistake too. my friend right now is going through a very tough break up. and the guy is being a total asshole. and the more she talk about the relationship to me how it was, and we try to get the cues like “oh we could’ve realised back then when he said this particular thing” that he is not the one. (the fact he was a total sexist asshole) i realised that when i get into a relationship, and if i see my future boyfriend having these traits, i will leave. why? because I learnt from her mistakes of letting things slide, and not noticing the minor red flags that later became worse.

(back to the topic) then, you create an image of your ideal village in your head. you don’t copy anyone, but you take inspiration. you think, ‘this is my aesthetic, this is how i want my village to function.’ you make a mental note of all the details where the farms will go, where the population will live, how everything will flow. and then you start building, step by step, upgrading, improving, and making decisions based on the vision you created. now apply that same concept to your life. create an ideal version of yourself (alter ego) in your head. imagine your ideal life, your ideal personality, your dream self. think about who she is, how she thinks, how she acts, what her daily habits are. don’t just copy someone else’s life take inspiration. maybe you admire someone’s confidence but not their style, or their work ethic but not their priorities. fine. make mental notes and adjust it to fit your vibe. every time you make a decision or work to improve yourself (your current avatar), use that ideal version of yourself as a guide. ask yourself, ‘what would she do? how would she handle this? what choice aligns me closer to her?’ take inspiration from her and let her energy fuel every upgrade you make. step by step, you’ll start building a life that’s completely aligned with the vision you’ve dreamed of. for example in pubg. the end goal is to become a conqueror so what you do every single time when you play that game is make sure that you’re good with your teammates, you get the most kills, you win every single match, because that is what will bring you to your end goal.

the bars of life

1. health bar

health is the foundation, the core, the absolute main bar. without health, nothing else matters. it’s like playing a survival game if your health is low, you’re dead in the water, right? you can’t progress, you can’t fight, you can’t level up. every single step in your journey starts with taking care of your body and mind. health is everything. make sure you’re eating right, sleeping enough, working out, and keeping your mind in a positive, stable place. the healthier you are, the more you’ll be able to conquer in all aspects of life. keep this bar maxed out, or you won’t even have the energy to fight for your dreams.

2. physical bar

now, let’s talk about the physical bar. this is all about how your body looks and feels. how’s your physique? toned? fit? are you putting in the work to make sure your body is in shape, or are you letting it slide? it’s not just about the gym though—it’s about how you present yourself. do your clothes flatter your body type? are you dressing in a way that highlights your best features? are your nails done, your hair styled, your makeup light but on point? when you walk into a room, does your physical presence demand attention and admiration? this is about taking pride in your appearance and making sure your physicality aligns with the highest version of yourself. everything from your posture to the way you dress, this is how people will notice you. own it.

3. mental bar

the mental bar is all about your mindset, emotional health, and mental well-being. how do you show up in the world every day? what is your internal dialogue like? are you a powerhouse of positivity and productivity, or are you letting negative thoughts control you? this bar is about building a mindset that propels you forward, no matter what life throws at you. like i always say, every single brick life throws at me, i will build a castle out of it—or a shrine. i don’t care what happens, it’s all fuel for my fire. this is the mental toughness you need to develop to grow.

if you’re facing challenges—whether it’s dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression—take care of your mental health. if you need a therapist, get one. if journaling helps you unpack emotions and thoughts, make it a habit. every step you take to improve your mental health is a step toward leveling up your life. every time you choose a positive, productive mindset, you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving. strengthen this bar, and everything else in life becomes more manageable.

your mental bar is not just about surviving the chaos—it’s about learning to navigate it with grace, strength, and an unbreakable belief in your ability to create your dream life.

4. spiritual bar

the spiritual bar is your path to alignment with yourself and the universe. this is where you connect with your higher self, your energy, and your beliefs. spirituality isn’t just about religion—though it can be if that’s part of your journey. it’s about meditating, doing yoga (especially Kundalini, like i mentioned), and tuning into the deepest parts of yourself. when you start aligning your chakras and balancing your energies, you’re strengthening this bar. it’s about connecting to something greater than yourself—whether that’s through rituals, prayer, or mindfulness practices. this is the bar that ensures your spirit is nurtured, your energy is clean, and your soul is grounded. if you’re in tune with yourself and aligned with your truth, you can face anything the world throws at you.

5. financial bar

now, let’s talk about the financial bar. this is where you track your wealth, your earning capacity, and how financially empowered you are. how’s your financial situation? are you getting paid what you’re worth? are you bringing in new streams of income? every single time you land a promotion, secure a new deal, or create another source of income, this bar rises. even small wins matter—getting that side hustle going, saving a little extra this month, investing in yourself. all these things count. this bar is about actively working toward your financial freedom and success. if you’re serious about leveling up in life, this bar has to be taken seriously. wealth isn’t just about money—it’s about abundance in every area of your life. when you strengthen this bar, you give yourself the power to live the life you want

6. career bar

the career bar is all about progression, ambition, and success in your professional life. every time you take a step forward—whether it’s landing a promotion, launching a side hustle, or expanding your business—it’s a win for your career bar. it’s not just about the outcome, but about the process too. when you learn a new skill to level up in your field, or when you push yourself to take on more responsibility, this bar grows. every single action you take to further your career—no matter how small—contributes to building the empire you want. it’s about building something that lasts and ensuring that your career serves as the foundation for the life you envision.

7. social bar

the social bar is about how you connect and interact with others. it includes your relationships with family, friends, lovers, and colleagues, as well as your social media presence. every time you make a meaningful connection, whether it’s through a new friendship or strengthening bonds with existing relationships, your social bar grows. it also covers your social media footprint���every time you post something, earn followers, or engage with your audience, you’re building your social presence. the way you show up in the world, the vibe you put out, and how others perceive you are all part of this bar. what’s important is that you’re intentional about your social connections. it’s not just about quantity, but quality. how do you carry yourself? how do people feel around you? remember, you can always adjust the way you’re perceived by adjusting how you act. we’ll dive deeper into how you can shift your social presence to your advantage later on.

8. legacy bar

the legacy bar is about the impact you leave behind and how you’re remembered. while you might not need to focus on this too much at 17 (like me too), it’s still something that will guide your actions as you grow older. your legacy is like the final level of your life game—it’s the impression you leave on others, the tangible and intangible things you pass on to the next generation. think about it like this: your legacy could be how generous you were. maybe you donate to charities, help the less fortunate, or fund scholarships. maybe you leave behind a family with strong values, or set up a business that supports others and creates opportunities. or even, it’s the homes you buy and the wealth you build that your kids will inherit. that’s a form of legacy too—creating something that endures, that your children or loved ones can benefit from long after you’re gone.

you want to make sure you’re giving back—whether it’s in terms of charity, helping your community, or creating something that continues to benefit people beyond your time here. it’s about living with intention, creating something greater than yourself, and making sure that when people look back, they say, “wow, she did something good.” when I think of my legacy, I want to be known for making an impact on my country, helping its economy grow, and providing jobs. so, always think about the ripple effect your actions will have not just on yourself but on the world around you, long after you’re gone.

9. environmental bar

okay, so let’s talk about your environmental bar. this is pretty much everything around you: where you live, who you hang out with, and what you’re consuming—whether it’s people, media, or food. your environment shapes you more than you think. if you live in clutter, your brain gets cluttered. if you’re surrounded by negative energy or toxic people, guess what? that negativity starts rubbing off on you. toxicity? it’s contagious. trust me. this is why i always say: your environment is EVERYTHING. let’s say you’re stuck in a place where people are draining your energy, or your room looks like a hurricane hit it—what’s happening? your life starts feeling chaotic. but if you clean up your space, set boundaries with toxic people, and start surrounding yourself with supportive, positive vibes, you’ll see that your life follows suit. if you’re surrounded by success-driven people, guess what happens? you start moving differently too.

for example, i know my current living situation is toxic. but, once i move out, that’s going to be my environmental grace. i’ll finally have the space to thrive, away from negative energy. maybe for you, it’s as simple as clearing your workspace or unfollowing people on social media who bring you down. the key is that you’re actively creating a good environment for your growth. declutter, move people who don’t vibe with you, and make sure everything you interact with is aligned with your goals.

10. fun and recreation bar

listen, life isn’t just about hustling and grinding, okay? it’s also about having fun. and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. people always forget that joy and peace are important parts of growth. hobbies, fun experiences, and doing things that bring you relaxation and joy are just as vital as your career or health bar. sure, you might not make money from every hobby, but if it brings you peace or helps you unwind, then it’s worth it.

like me, i might not be making millions off of drawing, but damn, it’s relaxing. it’s something that i look back on and feel proud of. the point is, don’t skip out on fun. go out with friends, explore new things, travel, dance, create. don’t just work to live—live to enjoy it. make time for meaningful parties, exploring new places, or just learning something new for fun. trust me, it will make you feel whole. it’s the only life we’ve got, so might as well enjoy it. while also being productive (im sorry had to add this 😭)

11. intelligence bar

okay, this one should be obvious, but let me make it clear: your intelligence bar should always be leveling up. this is the bar for everything you do to expand your mind, whether it’s learning a new skill, reading a book, acing a test, or just getting smarter from life lessons. it’s not just about school or formal education; it’s about constantly seeking knowledge. every time you learn something new—whether it’s about physics, psychology, or how to make the best goddamn smoothie—your intelligence bar grows.

never stop learning. school isn’t the only place for growth. you’re an adult now—take control of your learning. buy books, watch educational videos, take courses that interest you, and dive into everything that can help you grow intellectually. intelligence doesn’t stop when you leave school, it grows with you, forever. always be leveling up your mind.

watch her video to get more info on this topic (she is MOTHER) literally.

cheat codes in the game of life

read this blog by me first

life is full of cheat codes if you know where to look. one of the easiest ways to hack your life and manifest your desires is by using subliminals, grabovoi codes, eft tapping and even customizing your ChatGPT. these tools are like magic spells, designed to align your subconscious mind with your goals. for example, grabovoi codes are just numbers, but when you write and repeat them, they can bring about extraordinary shifts in your life. subliminals work and eft tapping the same way reprogramming your mind while you go about your day. and with ChatGPT, you have a personal assistant that can help you navigate any life situation, offering advice and insight whenever you need it. these are your personal life hacks use them to transform your reality with ease.

okay, let’s dive even deeper into these cheat codes, because once you start using them, you’ll realize how easy it is to shape the world around you. let’s talk about altering your social image—this is like an advanced life hack that many people, especially celebrities, are already using, but they’re not telling you how. you know how celebrities act on social media, right? that perfectly curated, almost “too good to be true” persona? the thing is, that’s not really them. most of them aren’t as perfect as they look in front of the camera, and they sure as hell don’t act the same behind the scenes. think about the people who might’ve bullied you in the past. they might have treated you like crap, but when they’re in front of others? angels. they put on this sweet, charming persona to get what they want. it’s all about duality—using different faces to your advantage. so why not do the same?

you can reinvent the way people see you. perception is everything. for example, let’s say you want to be perceived like a star, like an icon. one of the biggest secrets to this is creating a unique persona—something that screams you, but is captivating enough to make others want to be around you. think about how a lot of idols have such a distinctive style or energy. that is the cheat code. they don’t just wear the coolest clothes, they embody a vibe, an energy that makes them stand out in a crowd. so, how do you do it? first, know what you want. if you want to be that calm, collected, alluring figure who commands attention without even trying, start by adopting a few things that you know fit that style. if you want that dark, sultry energy, you need to own it—the way you talk, walk, dress, and even the way you hold yourself should exude confidence.

take someone like Dakota Johnson she has this quiet-chaotic energy about her, right? she speaks slowly, her words dripping with this almost sultry vibe. she doesn’t try too hard. it’s not about being overly energetic or trying to impress; it’s about confidence, calmness, and an air of mystery. she can make something as simple as a joke feel funny and seductive because of the way she says it. that’s the magic. it’s not about being loud or brash to get attention, it’s about learning how to carry yourself in a way that leaves people wanting more.

here’s the trick you don’t need to be a different person; you just need to refine your vibe. create a version of yourself that’s like an upgraded avatar. and then, simply start to live like them. how would your alter ego talk? would they speak with more authority? would they be more laid back, or would they be mysterious? do they have a sultry, slow tone when they speak? model yourself after that, and it’ll become second nature. this is where the pluto in aquarius energy comes in if you’re an aquarius (or have aquarius placements), this is your moment. you have the power to reinvent yourself in ways that you never thought possible. take this time to shift your self-perception and how the world perceives you. you can break out of old habits, behaviors, and expectations that others might have of you. this is your chance to become the best version of you, the version that’s unstoppable.

how do you get started?

1. talk like her: figure out how your alter ego would speak. take note of the cadence, the tone, and the vibe they exude. do they talk slower? more deliberately? maybe they joke with a certain confidence that makes everyone laugh, but also feel intrigued. learn to replicate that tone.

2. dress the part: style matters. you can’t be a fashion icon if you’re always dressing like a potato sack. find a style that feels unique to you, but also gives off that vibe you want—whether it’s sleek, bold, or soft. make sure your clothing complements the persona you want to show the world.

3. be unpredictable: people love mystery. don’t always let them in on everything. make them wonder about you. embrace the chaotic quietness—be the person who seems calm, but you always have something up your sleeve. keep them intrigued.

4. embrace the duality: you can be whoever you want to be. show one side to certain people, and another side to others. be strategic about how you present yourself in different scenarios. this is how you gain control of your social image.

5. confidence is key: once you start showing up as this new version of yourself, your confidence will shoot through the roof. people pick up on energy. if you believe in the persona you’re creating, others will too. and that’s how you start changing how people perceive you.

the beauty of this is, you’re not just faking it. you’re becoming it. you’re tapping into a version of yourself that’s always been there, just waiting for the right moment to step into the spotlight. the more you practice this, the more natural it becomes. “fake it till you make”

so, here’s the game plan: figure out your alter ego, start speaking like them, acting like them, dressing like them, and above all, own it. no one can compete with a version of you who’s fully aligned with your highest self. this is the cheat code to creating your dream life and stepping into the role you were always meant to play. use mindmovie, vision board, manifestation books to keep yourself aligned with your desires and goals

yeah, seriously, take this game of life really seriously. it’s not just about coasting through, it’s about making moves that align with your goals and dreams. your environment plays a huge part in that—where you live, who you’re around, and what opportunities are available. if you’re in a place that doesn’t nurture your dreams or support your growth, it might be time to think about moving. i’m in the same boat—i know the dreams i have won’t be fully supported where i’m at, so i’m already planning my next moves. but remember, everything is strategic. you have to play to win, baby girl. don’t settle for anything less than the life you deserve. make the changes, take the risks, and keep leveling up.

life’s like a game, and there are plenty of players trying to win, but how do you outsmart the competition? it’s not just about luck—yeah, that plays a part, but it’s also about skill, strategy, and having the right people around you. you can’t level up on your own, and just like in any game, teamwork makes all the difference. think of it this way: the kings and rulers in history didn’t get where they were alone; they knew how important it was to have the right team by their side. whether it’s friends, mentors, or business partners, you need good people who can support, challenge, and push you forward. surround yourself with those who elevate you, not drain you. build a strong, skilled, and loyal team because with the right crew, you’ll always be ahead of the game. just like the environment you choose—quality food, media, and surroundings—your team matters too.

notations

life is like a mix of different games, okay? think of it like the Sims where you have the ultimate free will. you can literally do whatever you want, and it’s up to you how far you take it. want to be a singer? start posting your singing videos everywhere—Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and even Twitter. manifest it, use subliminals, grabovoi codes, EFT tapping, and let ChatGPT help you figure out the algorithm and best ways to grow. life gives you all the tools, so use them to build your dream life.

but life isn’t just the Sims, it’s also like Chess. you have to be strategic about when and how you move. be nice but not naive, be a bitch sometimes too period. don’t throw out your best pieces too soon keep things lowkey and make others underestimate you. right now, I’m not the top student in my class, but I’m playing the long game. I’ll show people my pawns first—small, safe moves. later, when it’s the right time, I’ll pull out the knight or queen to checkmate the competition. keep people guessing. be mysterious. don’t tell anyone what you’re planning until it’s already in motion. keep your moves quiet, let them think you’re just playing small, and when the time comes—boom, you’ll show them exactly what you’re capable of.

this is where your team really comes into play. think of it like playing PUBG—if your team sucks, you suck. you can’t lead a squad full of lazy players and expect to win. it’s like trying to win a game while everyone else is just chilling. that’s why you have to be super selective with who you let into your inner circle. the people you’re building your success with need to be on the same level as you, otherwise, you’ll just drag each other down.

i’ve mentioned this before i literally asked a tarot reader to read the people around me, and she pointed out which friends weren’t good for me. guess what? those people turned out to be exactly as she said. so, don’t ignore your gut feelings. these are the people who will be there when you make it big, so make sure they’re the right ones. remember, in life, you don’t often get to choose your teammates, so be super careful who you let in. if you’re young, like 17 or 18, this is the time to build those lifelong friendships. trust me, pick wisely, because they’ll either help you level up or hold you back.

if i were to start a new life from today, this would have been the blog post that would have helped me reach that level. so, thank you so much for reading it through and through, and i hope you like it. also, i’m gonna pin this blog, and from now onwards, every single blog that you’ll see on my channel, on my account, will be somewhat similar to this. i’ll be using this blog as a centerpiece in future posts, building on it and referencing it. so stay tuned, because there’s a lot more to come, and this is just the beginning of the journey. and i’m gonna be doing all these again with you guys too. :)

also, happy 20 years of success as pluto returns to aquarius. love you guys.

[captain-crackship]

Song Credit: CircusP feat. Flower Video Credit: Rice CW: Lyrical mentions of death and disordered eating. Visual depictions of blood, strangulation, and mild nudity.

[shima-draws]

By thee way I am planning on reopening commissions soon! I’m moving out in a couple months so I need to start saving up for the cost of that plus the deposit and all that fun stuff. So keep an eye out ;)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm having a GREAT time

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7-8 of 12 - I do love these 2 a lot. It’s such a slow burn sweet comforting quiet little romance. It’s not complicated, it’s not stretching my thoughts or imagination, but it is easy and absorbing. I'm entertained by it without being taxed. And sometimes that’s nice. It's what Thailand does best.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 3 of 10 - Oh I’m still enjoying it. It’s only episode three and they’re basically boyfriend’s palling around shopping together and hanging out on a bicycle. What’s not to love? Also he got to meet the in-laws. Well… eventual in-laws. Also the girlfriend character. I totally forgot about her. Good times.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - Baby faints. Bad guys caught and beat up a bit. Lots of romantic moments, come checking in with ALL the sides, and it ends.

Summary?

Classic CEO meets ingenue archetypes make for a somewhat banal and simplistic romance. This could’ve come from an 80s Harlequin, except that they’re gay. It's... old fashioned. There was nothing meta about this, there was no subversion or commentary on anything BL, queer, or beyond. It’s just a straight up (okay not straight) romance. I was not wild about these characters for this particular pair, but that’s not the pair's fault, they did a decent job with their parts and I look forward to their next show - here’s hoping it’s a bit more meaty. I preferred the side couple because they were more complex and true to BL archetypes, even if they were also a bit miss-handled. A serviceable show if somewhat lacking in its convictions, but with some beautiful sex scenes, people, and fashion. I was a particular fan of Lin‘s gender bending femme style. It’s groundbreaking to see that aesthetic on one of the leads. There were multiple times they could’ve leaned into well established plot points, paranormal elements, and character tension, and instead just glossed over them.

This should probably get a 7/10, but I’m giving it an 8 because of that one oppa line at the beginning, Tenon's tatas, and the call back to Big Dragon with that iconic musical refrain in the final episode. It was a pretty fun ride, emphasis on pretty and ride. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - Lots of kissing this episode. And lots of different kinds of kissing from the same two actors in various different forms and characters. I really liked it. It’s nice to see that this pair can mix it up a little bit, even if it's just with their lips.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - OK the leg care massage was so boyfriend I can’t even. Who are they trying to fool? I love the way Ing always knows exactly what is going on. Thank goodness for that confession! I’m very much looking forward to the next episode.

(The socratic method, is it?)

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 9 of 12 - Still couldn’t care less about the hets. Yawn. Ah Jane’s ex shows up. (Is that Green? Hi baby!) Meanwhile, Jane gets worried and jealous. I loved Pah in this ep, and almost wish this were a show just about him. Like a grown-up Green Fictions. (Where tf did Poon COME from allasudden? He’s a killer actor. GMMTV better use him wisely.) Also, in that scene with Pat and P’Jo, they’re eating some of my favorite food. I got a little bit of linguistic negotiation with Khun Par Phi. Cuteness. And we end with some actual communication. Yay!!! It’s kind of hilarious to see OffGun in a tentative hug. I don’t think they’ve been that way for a years.

In fact, this whole episode was pretty much about communicating properly between ages and ranks within an office and social structure. I loved that. I’m liking this one more this week. It’s still not my favorite currently airing, but I think that mostly has to do with how much other good stuff is on right now.

SPEAKING OF...

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 12 - Uh huh, a game of one-up-man-ship is it? I think not. That boy wants to jump his cute stepbrother’s bones so bad that big brain of his is starting to melt. I'm here for it. Also, said sunshine cutie is clearly a big old cock tease. Everybody is happy about this. They sure know how to end these episodes on cliffhangers too. I don’t know how I’m gonna wait until next week.

I’m legit mad about how fucking good this is. After Unknown too?! Taiwan is spoiling us this year and THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL ALONG.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 3-4 of 10 - Oh my goodness do I love this show. It makes me laugh, I adore the premise, I'm wild over the characters, and the acting is killer. I’m just really happy about this show, OK? I tend to sing and clap: Oh they so cute.

Baby got his first crush and he has no idea what to do about it. I ADORE how angry he is about it. Like... How dare I even consider falling in love with somebody? How annoying of me. It’s great. I even liked the girl in the confession and how cool and sweet they both were to each other over his rejection. Bang up job. This is fantastic BL of the newer modern style. (As contrasted to On1y)

These top two shows are neck and neck for best of the week, for entirely different reasons. But I love all my sons.

Speaking of...

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 7-8 fin - Oh it’s so adorable with the drama and the little subordinate coming to their rescue, and them meeting each other’s family. "I want to become someone who is essential in your life" = peak romance.

Summation?

I loved this little show. It was a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss. It’s a hyung romance where everybody is extremely earnest and sweet and pretty about everything. Except our seme, who is slightly unhinged and a little obsessed in all the ways one likes best from Japan. Plus the kisses were good! I can’t ask for anything more, utterly charming unexpected gem of a show. What a great time! 9/10

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - The lack of communication between these 2 may actually drive me insane. But I still love them. Such a sad ep. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - Argh but also oooooo. I bet the uncut version was fantastic this week.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I'm starting to like this better. I’m still not convinced, but I did enjoy watching it this week. I’m getting some chemistry off the leads. Admittedly. that’s because they both behave like 16-year-olds. Surprise MosBank cameo - looking handsome as ever, boys. (Honestly, Taiwan really wants that King of the Cameos crown.) And FINALLY our side couple. I’m looking forward to next week primarily because of them. And I don’t even have them yet!

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - OK the lap cuddle was v cute. As was the handholding. But hiking with a metal griddle? Insanity. Might be the craziest thing in a BL this year. And The Sign aired this year. Meanwhile, not a dead fish kiss! Yay! 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

9/1 Live in Love (Thai Sun Gaga) 5 eps - Short series featuring and online romance turning IRL.

9/3 Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Here it is!

9/6 Kidnap (Thai Friday GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - Ohm Pawat is back for Frigays it's gonna be a blast.

9/7 The Hidden Moon (Thai Sat ????) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast.

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

Adventures in miss-captions

(been a while since we had one of these)

SNICKER "nail you" and a "nail you down" = completely different things. But this being Japan they might have met either or both. (Cosmetic)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Why yes, you do have the prettiest lips in the biz. No need to tease us like that. (Battle)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[kimchiagustd]

one week post KOA reading and not surprisingly, i am still mourning... spoilers ahead but i need to let go of all these feelings.

i miss this new family i discovered, the excitement of the next chapter or the next book, the anguish, the tears, the cliffhangers, the surprises, the couples and friendships dynamics. i miss everything about tog!

my brain is still processing aaaallllll the events of 7000 pages and a lot of things are settling when i could not process everything while still reading the books…

but to me, this saga is a masterpiece for so many reasons. as a woman, there are so many things validating in these books, i don’t even know where to begin with.

the sorority in tog is still mind blowing to me, probably my favorite part of the whole saga, that we clearly don’t talk about enough. the ending with aelin walking to meet her people with her girlfriends, marching with them as equals still gives me goosebumps. aelin and lysandra friendship (bestfriends and soulmates), aelin and ansel friendship (free young spirits), aelin and manon friendship (rivals then equal queens), aelin and yrene friendship (sisters), aelin and nesryn friendship (admiration and role models), aelin and elide friendship (bonded by fate and a love for the same kingdom) are so precious to me... i could write entire essays about them. i adore how all the female characters just fell in love with aelin, saw her vision of a better world and just followed her to the end. and then, the thirteen, do i even need te explain myself? i think a part of me will forever mourn them. the heartbreak i felt after their death is unspeakable. i never read a book with such flawed and beautiful characters. asterin (her hunter and her whichling), sorrel, vesta, imogen, ghislaine, faline, fallon, edda, briar, thea, kaya and linnea have my whole heart.

marion and josefin are branded in my very soul. their characters had so few pages but gods, how their sacrifice still resonate in me...

then the different journeys of all the characters… chaol has a special place in my heart, despite everything, despite all these things being said about him. he had so many flaws, did so many mistakes, but what a journey, what a fight against depression and disability, what an end… he was so lost and tormented throughout thousands of pages, even while being passionately in love with celeana (not aelin!), and is so appeased at the end, married and soon to be a dad… i rarely felt so proud of someone, fictional character or not. i am convinced chaol is one of the best written characters of the saga.

i read a lot of mean things about aedion too and that just broke my heart because the man redefined loyalty all by himself. he lost everything he was taught to believe in, whored himself with the enemy for his people while believing he lost his entire family and kingdom, lost every men and women in koa as a general (his very essence as a person!) and still held the line for hundreds of pages like rowan told him to do so. I. JUST. DON'T. GET. WHY. he is so hated for some fights with lysandra (that i don't excused!) in a horrific context, in the middle a many battles and thousands of casualties. just reread aedion's arc during koa : the only thing he experienced for hundreds of pages is failure, death, grief, terror and guilt, believing he failed terrasen again. LEAVE. MY. MAN. ALONE. plus, aedion is a bisexual icon, and he slayed the whole books, period.

same thing with lorcan. oh my lorcan… i won’t even begin with him but gods, what awful things i read about him… i don't know why but i fell really hard for this character, despite knowing very few things about him. he was far from being perfect, we agree on that. but what a redemption arc. him being finally at peace at the end, after 500 years of wars, (self-)hatred and being used and fooled by a valg bitch queen, made me tear up as mush as sam's death (shocking, i know but i don't make the rules).

i think, surprisingly regarding our society, people were harsher with the male characters than the female ones. aelin, manon, lysandr and elide lied and did mistakes too, yet somehow, people forgave them immediately. i think we should reflect on that.

a few words about baby dorian too... i think his end was my biggest and bitter disappointment at the end of the whole saga. i can't even tell how his ending wreaked me. he is the one character not at peace at the end of this whole journey. his city is utterly ruined, he is alone in his big castle (the very place where he lost the first woman he sincerely loved and the very place where he was enslaved) with the thought he killed the man he hated his whole life but somehow wasn't the bad guy, his friends are all married or happily in love, even manon won back the witches and her lost kingdom... but dorian is lonelier than ever and that does not sit right with me. he was such a hopeful and loving young man at the beginning of the saga but is broken at the end... i NEED a sequel, he deserves one, more than anyone.

and rowan, oh rowan... i think "love" is not strong enough to define aelin and rowan relationship. the way they overcame depression together long before falling in love with each other is one of the most beautiful thing of this saga. they just saw each other. i love how rowan accepted aelin 1000000%, flaws, scars, fire and all. i love how he never overstepped. like many people, i read acotar before tog and thought no one could surpassed rhysand but how wrong i was... to me, rowan is the best for so many reasons. he never took decisions for aelin, always respected her every moves, respected her pace, never lied to her. i am emotional writing this because him saying "aelin is my heart... my fireheart"... *sob* aelin loves rowan with every bones and cells in her body but rowan's love for aelin? i don't know, there's something about it, i can't find the right words... i don't think i'll ever find an other rowan in an other book. rowan was intensity, hatred, heartbreak, depression, longing, guilt, pain, redemption, learning, harshness, softness, falling in love, crossing an ocean for the woman he loved, giving her an armada when he had nothing, tattooing wyrdkeys in her back to bring her back to him, waiting, loving, loving, loving again and again and again. rowan is suddenly the sweetest and most beautiful name i've ever heard. rowan is love and so much more. rowan is aelin's heart and soul and the key to this new world because aelin without rowan is fear and too far gone. rowan is everything. and what i am about to write seems crazy but i think because there's so much things happening in tog, so much characters loving each other, so many couples we rooted for, we took for granted rowan's love and actions and he somehow became a secondary character - crazy, right? i think we loved passionately his character (especially in hof and qos) but somehow forgot on the way how utterly incredible and unique he is. him saying in qos aelin must build a theater in terrasen after the war and then him offering it to her as a mate / wedding gift at the end of koa? i mean, our boy is a man of his word and i love him so much for it. WE TOOK ROWAN FOR GRANTED AND DID NOT GIVE HIM ENOUGH CREDIT.

anyway, i could write so many more things about so many characters and scenes that broke me in these books (my same is sam cortland and i am not afraid) but you got the idea.

tog is the best saga i've ever read and i am not the same person anymore after reading it. i'll take time to heal. but how grateful i am i have a good run with all these characters...

[freakartack]

HOUSEKEEPING THINGS

1. MESSAGE TO OLD FOLLOWERS: so sorry that took so damn long. Normally i try not to treat this blog like a job but that was kind of ridiculous so i feel like an apology is in order. I fully overestimated just how much stuff i wanted to draw for this bit and i did not expect my blog to be held ransom by cartoon characters for two months but here we are. Thank you guys for being cool and patient about my hubris! I hope it was worth the wait. And if not, here is your money back. (placing imaginary money in your hand)

2. MESSAGE TO NEW FOLLOWERS: hi. Welcome to my blog! Thank you for taking an interest in my jokes. Because my blog has been held ransom by cartoon characters for two months i should probably emphasize that this is not an ask blog and is in fact just a regular blog, that happened to be held ransom by cartoon characters for two months. I do still draw wario comics though! A lot! So if you're into that, then you're in the right place.

3. THE ASKBOX SITUATION: So prior to mona stealing my login info this april you may have noticed that i shut down my askbox and turned off the lights. There was a couple reasons for that

3a. I accidentally got addicted to the internet

3b. I accidentally got so addicted to the internet that tumblr thought i was a premier hashtag super mario poster presumably solely based on the fact that i did not shut up for five days straight and so for several weeks it redirected every new person that said they liked mario to my blog and i thoguht they were all spam bots so i freaked it

4. WHAT I'M GOING TO DO NOW

4a. Freak it

4b. Just kidding

4c. WARIOWARE CAMPING!!! Currently I am in a tight spot Schedule wise however the next page is well on its way (had been put on pause due to april fools fiasco) and so it should be ready soon. If nothing else this experience has taught me how to pump out a fucking lot of comics so although i intend to make these drawings much higher in quality i will do my best to get the ball rolling!

4c. RANDO DRAWINGS: Also soemthing that I have to work on is not dropping off the face of the earth when I don't have a comic to post so I will be posting some fun little extras in between comics. I sometimes feel guilty when i do that cause i'm like "that doesn't count as a post" which is kind of dumb if you ask me. So i will be posting some art on my art blog going forward

4d. THE ASKBOX SITUATION: THE SQUEAKUEL: So you see my issue is I don't want to get addicted to the internet or overwhelmed or attacked by droves of spam bots and/or innocent civilians BUT i still want to have asks open because i like talking to you guys and i miss it. SO, i will compromise by opening my askbox on weekends, so that way i can have the best of both worlds. Maybe i will expand the ask window later on if i can behave myself but we'll see how it goes.

4e. FIXING MY BLOG THEME: Idk if i'm going to change it back to the pitcher plant pic but i do want to make it not be this. I might make a slightly updated theme that matches my content better so i might put a different warioware banner up there but idk i feel bad kicking out the plant. How are we feeling. The brave little toaster thing in my icon is staying no matter what though sorry.

5. OK THAT'S ALL BYE: Bye

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Cosplay WIP and Doodle Dump >:3

Haven't really been working on a bunch of digital art lately bc I've been busy working on cosplays and crying over Stolitz XD

But I thought I'd show you all what I've been working on since I'm really excited about it! <3 (So many updates :D)

Let's start with Helluva doodles!

I finally started drawing Blitzø and Fizzy-Frog! <3 Fizzy looks so much healthier in the newst ep I could CRY ohhh my goddd. And both Fizz and Blitzø look so dapper! Little cuties! Little cuties who are friends again! My heart!

Next up: Cosplay props!

We've got a lot of stuff for the Vees, and then a liiiitle bit of Angel Dust progress to show y'all!

Let's start with Vox since I only have one main thing I've made so far!

I had an old pair of headphones that stopped working, and I'd already worn them to costest Vox (since I'm not going for the TV screen approach) and so I thought I could give them a makeover! I decided to do the symbols from his silly little hat, and paint the microphone tip to resemble the little red bauble at the end of his antenna!

I just sanded the labels off, painted everything in acrylic and then sealed it with clear nail polish, pretty simple stuff, but I'm really pleased with the effect! And I think it will be a nice touch for the costume! <3

Now onto Valentino! I have the most stuff for him so far bc everything that wretched man owns is cool AF and I wanted to make, like, all of it XD

I started with the guns from 1x02 ala: "Which of these makes me look sexier ;3" since I thought they were both pretty iconic and I definitely want to film that little clip once my cosplays are ready to go hehe

(My reference Image ^)

This pink one is definitely my favorite, both in the show and based on how it came out in the end! I've only ever built one propgun before this for Jinx, so it was really fun to get back to it again! Lots of math and measurements, but luckily I'm a little racoon creature who hordes recycling like my life depends on it XD Even though he actually bedazzles another gun in the meeting room in 1x02, I was not about to make a third one in the span of two weeks, so I decided to just put it on one side of the pink, and I really love it tbh!

The gold and grey definitely looks a bit more... cardboard-y, but I'm okay with it tbh, I don't love the design of this one as much, so I probably won't be using it on it's own as often as the pink! But I still think it turned out well overall! Especially bc by the time I got to this one my exacto-blade was crapping out on me hardcore lmao

I also have two hand options ready for Valentino! I noticed that sometimes he has gold claws, and sometimes his hands are fully black, so I thought it would be good to have a couple options!

I went ahead and ordered some pleather gloves which I think work really well for him on their own, but then I also took some fake nails and layered them with gold acrylic paints and clear nail polish to make his 'actual' hands. I figured if I need a particular close-up for a shot it would be really cool to use black facepaint on my skin, and then have these nails stuck on! I just used eyelash glue to test out affixing them last night, and I think it actually worked super well!

Since the nails are pretty, well, claw-like I don't want them on all the time, but I still need them to stay when I'm moving around in costume, and I think the eyelash glue is kind of the perfect things for my at-home cosplay needs! I'd definitely want to do something stronger if I was going to a con in these, but yeah - XD I'm rambling, anyways -

Let's move onto Velvette!

I had an extra set of gold nails I'd made, that I was originally planning on attaching to the gloves (I did not like how that looked lmao) but I didn't want them to go to waste, so I used some of the little gems and do-dads that I had laying around to make them match one of the bra-tops I'm planning to use for Velvette! (Yes that sparkly orange and pink thing on the left is what I tried to match it to!)

I have a plethora of blank fake nails now, so I think it would be really fun to make a pair that matches each of Vel's outfits! I hyper-fixated on nail art for a couple years when I was a kid, so I'm really excited to play with those skillz again lmao - especially because I can use acrylic paint for these instead of nail polish which really cuts down on cost and expands my color ranges exponentially!

The last thing I have to show you for the Vee's specifically is the wigs I ordered for them! (I want to scream, I'm so excited!!!!)

(All of these are from Wig Is Fashion btw, notspon or anything I just have really loved their wigs so far! I really hope these three work well!)

Finally, my gloves for Angel and a couple of my colored lights for filming came in, so I just threw on one of the outfits I have ready for him, the wig I styled, and the gloves to get a feel for how it was coming along :3

I think I want to get different little shorts for this look (maybe pleather?) and figure out a couple other details to add in, because I feel like there is currently too much 'blank' space in the look. I'm sure that will be lessened by the makeup, set, etc. But I want to make sure the extra looks I have for characters still feel 'designed'/styled well, obvi.

Anyways! Lots of work to do, and I still need to buy a new sewing machine so i can make some of the actual outfits from the show, but it's all a process lmao

I'm planning a full-on Angel CMV atm, as well as a ton of other videos, but that's all a ways away lmao, I wanna really put effort into it which means time haha

I did already post some little Cherri, Angel, Vox and Charlie closet-costests to my TT if y'all are interested! I've also made Millie and Blitzø horns, but tbh I just can't be assed to get pictures of all of that rn XD if you look at the most recent (as of rn lmao) 'cosplay updates' vid that's up, you can see the horns, wigs etc that I didn't show in this post!

My main links are all right here if you want 'em: https://lunchtimebedamned.carrd.co/

And with that I'm going to go have brain-off time LMAO I've been working non-stop for weeks on this. I'm also sorry to anyone waiting for the Ch.4 update on The Space Between Us, this chapter is deciding to be very slow-going and difficult. IRL stuff is probably heavily contributing to that, but oh well. Know that I am working on it <3

[bestfriend491]

yesss!! im so excited for more okoye!!

I am too, love. And in honour of my excitement (and me being behind schedule for yet another work) here is something to keep my loves fed for the next couple of days until I'm confident enough to release the longer works.

Introducing... My Headcannons? My Drabbles? I'm not too sure right now. Who knows? All I know is that its something short.

Thank you to @jinnie10101 for the beautiful Nakia and Okoye icons. 🤍

“What's wrong?”

How Okoye, Nakia, and Ramonda would react to you being upset in some way. 

OKOYE

Okoye is whatever you need her to be at that moment. 

Need space? She’ll stay in the next room until you’re ready to talk. 

Need cuddles? She’s not leaving your side.

Granted this is mostly because she does carry a lot more guilt about her past choices when you're upset even if it's not her fault. 

It does take her a bit longer to realise that you're upset because of how busy she gets but when she notices she's quick to act.

“Sthandwa sam, I’m home!” Okoye called to you after a long day of patrolling around the Borderlands after a security breach threat- one of many in the past week. 

This time, it hadn't been a false alarm or a prank call, and the Dora needed their General to lead, which she did. And well, as a matter of fact. 

Now though, all she wanted to do was spend her night with you, doing absolutely anything. 

“Sthandwa sam?!” She called out again as she looked around for you. You weren’t anywhere out in the open, which let her know that something was off. 

Inspecting the entire house and not getting any closer to finding you, she landed herself in front of the door to your shared bedroom. 

‘Oh’. she thought to herself. You were probably asleep. It was still fairly early, but she knew that when sleep called, you never asked it what time it was. 

She let her hand gently graze the knob as she turned it, happy that it didn’t jam in place like usual this time and wake you up. As slowly as she could, Okoye walked into the room and closed the door, seeing you laying in bed, as expected. 

Strangely enough, you weren’t inside the sheets, only laying on top of them. Your back was turned away from her, and although she didn’t know it, you stared wide-eyed into the open. 

Still under the belief that you were asleep, Okoye tiptoed around the room getting her uniform off, then proceeding to take a blanket to cover you up until you awoke in a few hours.

As she stood to face you, and saw your clearly not asleep form below her, her expression dimmed down. 

“Y/n?” she asked.. 

“Hm?” was all you could make yourself say.

“My love, what’s wrong?” She caressed your cheek as she asked, going down to kiss your forehead as a form of comfort. 

You didn’t respond immediately, needing to muster up the energy to explain something that didn’t make sense. 

“Y/n, tell me what’s wrong.” 

Silence once again filled the room. Quick to access and act, Okoye realised that it was just going to be a cuddles and no talking kind of day. She got into bed, moving you to face her, and placed her arm around you, allowing you to come closer and assume your favourte spooning position. 

You stayed like that for the night. 

Ramonda

When you're upset, Ramonda knows that you prefer to keep quiet.

She usually lets you stay silent unless she’s really worried. 

You don't like being left alone without her when you’re upset, so she always accommodates that and makes sure to stay as close as possible. 

You need physical comfort when you’re having a bad day, especially when bad mental days come. 

She's quick to notice when you're upset, a shift in attitude telling her that she needs to get you alone to ask what’s wrong. 

You usually go to the river to calm down if it’s early and cuddle there.

“Y/n!” Ramonda called after you as you left the throne room after a brief meeting with the other tribe leaders. Your aura was off the entire meeting, both you and Ramonda knew that. A lazy hum had alerted Ramonda of this. 

You, knowing that Ramonda would pry for answers, tried to leave and dodge the questions early. This didn’t work at all, and you were quickly tracked down and located around the corner to your room in the palace. 

You still tried to avoid her, not wanting to have a moment like this right then. 

As soon as you closed the door on her and sat down on a chair in your bedroom, she had already reopened the door and entered. 

She approached you quickly, and knelt down in front of you. Taking your hands in hers, she looked at you, while you kept your eyes closed.

“My queen,” she said, leaning closer to you,”What’s wrong?” 

You shook your head; refusing to allow her to get her desired answers from you. 

“Y/n, my queen. I can’t let this one go. What’s wrong?” 

Tears developed in your eyes as you let out muffled sobs, holding her hands tightly. 

“I miss them, Ramonda.” you finally choked out. 

“I miss them everyday, but today I just can’t bear the pain of losing them over and over again in my head.” you spoke of the family member that you’d lost recently, struggling to cope while ruling a nation. 

You’d been trying your best to pretend that you weren’t in constant pain, but the facade could only last so long. 

“Oh- my love,” she moved in to let you hug her, and you did so gratefully. You clung to her like when you were younger, never wanting to leave her side.  

“Grief comes in life-long waves, my love. Some high waves last long, but then they crash when you least suspect it.

The only thing we can find solace in is remembering that the low waves can peacefully coexist with the high waves, only through the mutual understanding that they must each get their turn to shine through.”

You broke down completely at that, feeling relieved that at least you had her around for the harder times. 

Nakia

Nakia always wants to talk about it. She doesn’t like letting you avoid talking about your emotions.

Nakia senses energy quicker than anyone you've ever known. 

A slight shift in attitude will have her all over you.

Of course, she still likes to give you the platform to talk to her without her needing  to confront you.  

Because of this she likes to give you some time to tell her what's wrong so as to not annoy you. 

However, if you avoid the conversation for too long, she doesn’t have much of a choice. 

“Nakia, I told you that it’s nothing.” you told her reluctantly as you laid your head in your hands, sitting at the table in your home having yet another argument. 

“No, that’s the answer I keep getting from you, but it’s not the truth because everytime I see you, you look like you’re struggling.” 

She stood on the other side of the table, staring at you as you clearly lied to her for the umpteenth time.

Sighing, she tried to tone down her intense approach. 

“Look, baby. I just want you to be okay, and I can tell you’re not.”

You relented slightly, looking directly at her, and nodding in understanding. 

“I know.” you said.  

You groaned, frustrated at yourself for trying to keep secrets in your relationship when you knew that communication was something Nakia needed to feel secure. You stood up, and went to her, not hugging her, just laying your head on your shoulder. 

Though none of you embraced the other, engulfing the other in a hug, you were calmer. She dropped her head on your shoulder and the two of you swayed in that position for a while. 

After a good 30 minutes of this, she tried again, “What’s wrong.”

“I- I have depression.” you said. Nakia -although wanting to hug you- chose to stay in her position. She was finally getting something out of you, and she didn’t want to startle you. 

“I started seeing a psychiatrist for my PTSD 2 months ago and she diagnosed me last month. It’s only been getting worse lately.”

She immediately lifted her head, looking at you as you tried to hold in tears, 

“Sthandwa sam,” now she hugged you and you couldn’t hold it in anymore,”Why didn’t you want to tell me?” 

“I don't know… I was scared things would change, and you’d start treating me differently.” 

“Y/n, I’m not going to treat you like anyone except the woman that I love. Things are gonna change, but only because I need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself,okay?”

You nodded in agreement, sniffing through your tears as you wiped them away.

“Hey,” she said after a while, ”I’m proud of you.”

Author's Note: Here's your snack before the meal, loves. I was going to add a Aneka/Ayo/Reader version but I'm tired and I know I would butcher it in my current state. Either way, hope you enjoyed.

I guess requests for more of these SHORT imagines are open

[itzsarahhh]

I love me some MeenPing and so far I’m really liking The Rebound Series. Something about childhood friends who were secretly in love with each other, growing apart due to outside circumstances, and meeting again years later, really gets me. Only two episodes and I already have a lot of thoughts, but I am not sure how to eloquently put them into words.

I am very curious where the story is going to take us. Zen and Ryu clearly still care for each other (dare I say probably still love each other) so I wonder how long it will take for them to confess their feelings. One thing I liked about the other MeenPing shows was that they became a couple in the earlier episodes (at least early for a lot of other series), and then we see them navigate their relationship throughout the rest of the show. I hope this show follows that pattern and they face whatever issues come up together. But it seems like Ryu cut off all contact with Zen because he didn’t want Zen to get involved with the mafia(?) Boss dude, and I don’t think that has changed, so he might still be hesitant to start any type of relationship with him again. And Zen clearly wants Ryu to live a better life than what he is currently living, but he also is still upset that Ryu left without warning.

Ugh the way Zen asked Ryu if they were going to see each other again after running into each other in episode 1. And also when he told him that he missed playing basketball with him in episode 2. I could feel the yearning through my screen. I wonder what happened in middle school and if one of them confessed or if they both hid their feelings because they didn’t want to ruin their friendship.

I will suspend my belief that Meen and Ping are in high school, but I think they could have easily set this in university instead. I don’t think it would have changed the story much, at least not from what I have seen so far, but maybe it would have changed something in the later half of the story? That is yet to be seen, and I dont know if this was based on a novel. I just think it’s funny because Meen is older than me and I just finished getting my Master’s degree, and Ping is the same age as my cousin who is going to be a Junior in college. But I will put my knowledge of their actual ages aside and let these actors act however old the story tells them to be.

I also wonder where Frank’s character will fit into the RyuZen relationship. Based on the trailer, it looks like he will cause some jealousy, but I hope he is not too big of an obstacle. I quite like his character so far, though we haven’t seen much of him, he seems like a sad boy who just wants to make friends. What is his backstory and what are his family problems? I need to know why he was just chilling in the bottom of a pool, nearly giving Zen a heart attack. What a way to disassociate from life. I see that he is understands water can be a liminal space to get away from your problems.

Also love that we see the Cafe For All again, and this time the main character works there! This is kinda giving Golf’s Cinematic Universe, and it would be iconic if we saw Akk and Ayan or YakWandee chilling in the background. Sadly I do not think that is going to happen, but I can dream. Anyways I am excited for next week, and thank you showrunners for giving us two episodes a week.

[wrathofrats]

Kinktober 24 forcefem

Swiss x dew

Prompts by the icon @kroas-adtam as usual!

Dews ashamed about wearing panties, Swiss makes it so much worse (as usual)

Big Cw for dubcon. dew says no, but he is very into it and can safeword at anytime. Degradation, humiliation, crying, forcefem (duh) using fem terms for dews body, but he has male genitalia. Just wanna be clear on what we are doing here folks.

It’s was hard not to notice the lace sticking out of the top of dews pants as he bends over.

They were pink, he was sure of it. But dew stands up too fast and Swiss craves to see more, mouth salivates at the possibility of dew walking around causally just wearing panties

Swiss corners him, doesn’t say what he saw but kisses him, feels him up a bit, just tries to initiate things as usual. He gropes his ass, attempts to feel the line of his underwear through his jeans.

“Can’t right now, busy” dew tries to push him away a bit, but it’s a feeble protest.

“Oh why not? I just want to see your pretty panties”

Dew almost passes out

“The fuck are you talking about man” his voice shakes a bit

“You’re telling me I didn’t see lace poke out of your jeans while you were bending over?” They both know the truth, and Swiss knows dew will go to the ends of the earth to deny the accusations, even if he knows Swiss already knows the answers to his questions.

“No. You’re seeing things I guess”

“Oh if you’re not wearing any, how about you take off your pants for me? Let me see you? I just want to touch you darling” Swiss says lowly, taunting

“Swiss, fuck off”

He backs off, let’s him go, only wanted to make him sweat a little bit, but the way he notices dews pants tent as he stomps away has him coming up with better ideas.

Swiss probably follows him up to his room, though he knows he probably shouldn't, just walks in and closes the door.

“What the fuck did I tell you?” Dew spits

“Oh come on baby, take them off, let me see” Swiss crowds him against the bed, brackets him in with his arms

“I told you to fucking leave” it’s hard not to notice how dew let’s himself be back up, let’s himself be caged by Swiss, he makes no move to protest, though his words say otherwise.

“If you wanted me to leave so badly why aren’t you moving dewdrop?”

“I-“

Swiss moves to unbuckle dews pants, while dew tries to stop him, grabs his wrist, slaps his hands away, but Swiss is so much stronger than him, it doesn’t do much.

“Let me see your panties baby, I’m sure you look so pretty in them”

Dews hands stop, he freezes as Swiss pulls his trousers down to reveal the pair. They’re newer, he bought them himself. Lacey and pink, just as he knew he saw earlier.

“Oh honey, I was right” Swiss drags his hand along them, snaps the waistband against his skin, ghosts his fingers over his bulge

“You do look pretty”

“Don’t say that” dew chokes out, he can’t bring himself to look at Swiss, but it’s impossible not to move his hips against Swiss’s hand where he caresses his bulge. Friction from the fabric sending shivers down his spine.

“Don’t say what? That you’re pretty? That the lace looks cute against your skin?”

Dew is still protesting, telling him to shut up, to leave, to stop. But he continues to move against Swiss’s hand.

“I wonder how you’d look with lipstick on” Swiss continues to talk “wonder how you’d look with mascara running down your face”

“Shut up shut up shut up stop Swiss stop please”

“Sweetheart I don’t think you want me to, you feel so wet against my hand”

Dew wants to cry

“Like a girl”

-

Swiss leaves him alone for a bit after the incident. Lets him breathe, fucks him like normal for the next couple weeks.

Until he catches him in them again.

Swiss is surprised when he actually let’s him undo his pants. It’s a different pair this time, silky, red.

“Oh so you have multiple pairs?” Swiss smirks at him. Dew doesn’t match his gaze, just asks him to get on with it, just please touch him get it over with.

“You like wearing them? Hope I see? Hope someone notices you wearing women’s panties all the time?”

“Swiss just fuck me already please shut up please” dews face is so flushed it almost hurts

“I just want to admire your pretty underwear. Your cunt looks beautiful in them” Swiss can’t help but stifle a laugh at the way dew chokes at the words while Swiss strokes him through the fabric. He wonders silently if he could get him to cry by talking to him like this. He hopes so.

“Fucking stop don’t , don’t fucking say that” he has tears in his eyes

“Fine, take them off for me, wanna fuck you”

Dew sighs in relief, takes off his clothes and gets on the bed

“But I want you to be quiet, I’ll have to gag you” Swiss balls up the underwear , shoving it into his mouth as dew thrashes, tries to spit it out

“If you take them out you get nothing.”

Dew is protesting through the fabric in his mouth, panties shoved in haphazardly while Swiss preps him.

“You’re so gorgeous dewdrop, you like having those in your mouth? Tasting how wet you are baby girl?”

Dew cries

[aijamisespava]

One Last Time Everyone!

Well, guys. We made it...to the LAST post of the ESC 2024 season! After months of anticipation, joy, heartbreak, and anger, we finally made it to the end! And like the semis, I have a bit to unpack!

To begin, I would feel rather terrible if I didn't talk about the disqualification of Joost Klein and the Netherlands. I think I'm in agreement with a lot of people that the disqualification was harsh and that the EBU and Eurovision screwed up with this decision; a common theme this year.

My sister didn't have an iconic quote today. But let me tell you when Andrejs (of Sudden Lights so you may know where this is going) started giving Latvia's points I was squealing.

A common theme throughout the entire season (even National Finals) were that the bookmakers were wrong a LOT of the time this year. And boy were they!

NORWAY LAST?! Okay. Maybe Ulveham isn't for everyone. But I had it as my shock winner so...ouch.

There were a LOT of televote shockers, but it all made sense in the end when Croatia sprung up to the top, almost taking the win.

As for the countries that broke their NQ streaks...Ireland finished a very nice 6th place (congrats Bambie!), Latvia finished in 16th (well done Dons!), and Georgia ranked in 21st (well done Nusta!).

Before I go to talking about the winner, I would like to say that while worst case scenario did NOT happen, there is still a long way to go. Hopefully, the EBU will see us fans and eventually listen to what we want and do the proper actions.

Now...THE WINNER! This year, we came down to Croatia vs. Switzerland for the win. Croatia seemingly won the televote (correct me if I'm wrong), and Switzerland won the jury vote. And either way, history would have been made. And honestly...I wouldn't be mad if either of them won I love both songs dearly. And...because NEMO FROM SWITZERLAND WON WITH "THE CODE," this makes Nemo the first non-binary participant to win Eurovision (again, correct me if I'm wrong). So, Nemo, from the bottom of my heart, Congratulations on winning the 68th Eurovision Song Contest! Your name is etched into Eurovision history forever, and I look forward to next year in Switzerland.

Well, that reaches the end of Aijamisespava...for now. I'm going to take a much-needed summer break listening to music and doing things with people I love. The last couple weeks took a LOT out of me and your girl needs to recharge! But that doesn't mean I don't want to hang out with you guys! You are people I love too, and I can't just leave you in the dust! As I mentioned, I have a second Tumblr page. See, I'm a writer (how could you ever tell haha) called @amykitrynswritingmisadventures (long like Estonia's song title). Every day, I post a line that I wrote that I like, and I'll be more active on there this summer. My Instagram (where I'm nowhere near as Eurovision...y...as here) is justastargirl9 and I look to post a bit more on there soon (plus you get the same lines...but with music). Those are probably the best places to find me and say hello, and see what other music I listen to!

Now, before the ramonda blooms and the party's over, signing out.

Love, Aijamisespava

[sheisobvious]

some old stuff I found on pinterest (and below interesting things) - Part 1

Picture 1 

“One minute Taylor is busting out lyrics and being adorable in front of the camera, and the next she is like high-fashion model” 

Q: What type of music are you into right now? 

TS: A Late’80s pop. One of my favorite songs is “She Drives Me Crazy”, by Fine Young Cannibals.It was so ahead of its time.  

App she loves – 8MM vintage camera  

TS: “It lets you put a cool, 1960s-style filter on iPhone videos and gives clips a moody grain” 

Picture 2 

COSMOGIRL 2009 

TS: "My newest hobby is going to wal-mart and putting my CD in front of others in the rack. I have no shame in it!" 

Picture 3 

Seventeen Magazine (2008) 

Q: Do you think that he ( the guy from “Should’ve Said No”) secretly likes being named in your songs? TS: Yeah, probably. Those kinds of guys like getting attention – because I mean, what else is he doing? He’s probably with six different girls who don’t know that they’re being played. 

Q: Has he (Drew from “Teardrops on My Guitar”)  contacted you?  

TS: Actually, he showed up in my driveway a couple of months ago, and it was like in the movies where at the end the guy shows up in your driveway, and you have this awesome kiss – except it’s three years too late. I’m like, Why didn’t you do this years ago ?!? He was stranger by then, so I felt like I didn’t know him anymore. 

Q: Do you ever write songs about anyone other than yourself? 

TS: “Tied Together With a Smile” is about a girl I knew my freshman year. She was absolutely Miss Popular, a pageaant girl, and she looked perfect every day! Always had the cutest outfits, always looked teh best at prom. But sometimes when you get a litle closer to people who look that perfect, you realize that they don’t feel perfect.They feel they’re ugly. And that’s what happened with this girl- I became closer friends with her, and one day she confessed that she was bulimic. 

Q: How did that make you feel? 

TS: It was really hard for me to take. But I never want to make someone feel horrible. do not deserve to be treated like that. I try to reason with  them and be calm about it. After a while, I was just like, "You don't need to do that anymore." So I played that song for her, and I said, "Who do you think that's about?" And honestly, I don't think she ever did it after that. 

Q: Have you ever felt bad about the way you look? 

TS: Everybody does! Everybody looks in the mirror and is like, I wonder why her eyes are huge and mine are smaller. But I realized that if you’re lucky enough to be different from everybody else, don’t change. 

Q: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be someone eise? 

TS: Oh, my gosh, if I were a different person and I could start all over, I would want to be Hayley Williams from Paramore! I think she’s awesome, and their music is amazing. But you know, I love country music more than anything  in the world – I would never change what I do. 

Picture 4 

“I’ve seen a lot of you get new cars”, she joke to those who worked on the album (Fearless)  

Picture 5 

YOU (2009) 

FAVORITE BOOK – Who Will Cry When You Die? By Robin S. Sharma. It’s a self-help but It’s na easy read. Every page has a new thing you can do to show the people you love that they matter to you. It makes you appreciate what you have. I have a lot more good days now that I’ve read that. 

STYLE ICON – Cahrlize Theron. Thank you for saying I look a bit like her – taht makes my whole week. 

BEAUTY PRODUCTS – My favourite lip colour is Dragon Girl by Nars;l realy like Armani make-up and there's a perfume that l get when ľ'm in the UK called Midnight Rain by La Prairie. And I love Jo Malone candles. 

I: As ever, she sounds too good to be true . It might be one reason why. If we're being honest what eveyone realy wants to see is Taylor Swit being a litte bit naughty. Surely the teetotal Pollyanna façade must have cracks? Anyway, wouldn’t a bit of teenage rebellion be healthy? 

TS: “I've been given the freedom to do whatever I want. I'm 19 –if want to storm out of the house and go to a club and get drunk and take my clothes off and run naked through Nashville, I can do that. I just really would rather not. I's as simple as that. It's not like I’ve been beaten down by some corporation that's forcing me to always behave myself - l just naturally do. Sometimes people are fascinated by the fact that I don't care about partying. almost to the point where they think it's weird.l think when we get to the point where it's strange for you to not be stumbing around high on something at 19, t's a warped world.” 

Picture 6 

PEOPLE, 2009 

Q: You just gave a $250,000 donation to schools you had previously attended or worked with. Why schools? 

TS: The schools that I went to and the amazing people I got to learn from relly turned me into who I am, and I wanted to give back. 

Q:If you’ve done all this by the time you turned 20, what do you want to do bu the time you turn 30? 

TS:I think I’d like to have made a couple more albums that I’m really proud of. I’d like to have a house. I’m not the kid the girl who makes a goal for herself of getting married or starting a family. I’ve never really put a timeline on those sorts of things. So I don’t have any personal goals by the time I’m 30. 

(midnight rain vibe)

Picture 7 

Q: What would you say is your biggest love “don’t” ? 

TS: No one wants to be with someone who desperately needs them. You should want the other person and love him, but you shouldn’t need him. If you depend on him for your happiness, that’s not good ,because what will you do when it ends? 

Picture 8 

TIGER BEAT  

I CALLED THIS ALBUM RED BECAUSE.. “all the different emotions written about on this album, they’re all about the tumultuous, crazy, insane, intense, semitoxic relationships that I’ve experienced in the last two years. In my mind, all of those emotions are red.” 

(I think this is the first time I see her referring to this relationship as toxic before 2022)

Picture 9 

BOP 2012 

Taylor Swift looks down at the floor as she talks about the songs on her new album, Red (it comes out October 22). "They're sad, if I'm being honest,"she confesses. Tay's big blue eyes get a little teary as she thinks about her life right now.In the last two years. Tay says she's felt "all of those emotions, travels around spanning from intense love,intense the workd with frustration, jealousy and confusion." She also admits. "There's been this earth-shattering. not recent, but absolute crash-and-bum neartbreak." 

(in this interview they are weird about her parents divorce)

[jcbbby]

"i’ll come running whenever you need me. "

This sentence with Jamie

I'm sorry, this feels incredibly rushed... But I hope it still makes you smile! :) Thank you for the prompt! <3

Warnings: None!

(send me a sentence or line of dialogue and I’ll write a little something Jamie/Henry/001/Kit Marlowe-related with it)

-

This week had been awful. You got home from work, tossing your keys and bag haphazardly on to the table by the door, going directly to the kitchen for a glass of wine. Just something to soothe the frayed nerves. At least you were going to FaceTime with Jamie tonight. He was away in Europe filming a new movie, while you stayed home in LA. It had been about 2 weeks now, out of 6 he would be gone, and you wanted nothing more than to just cuddle up with him.

After slipping into some comfy clothes, a pair of shorts and one of Jamie's shirts, you poured another glass of wine and got comfy on the couch, eagerly awaiting the sound of your phone ringing. Finally, his icon popped up as your phone rang and you smiled wide as you hit the green checkmark, pulling up Jamie's live video.

"Hello my love!" He waved on your tiny screen.

"Hi baby! How are you doing?" You smiled back.

"I'm good, yeah. Just had a shower and relaxing with some tea. How about you?"

You held up your glass of wine, pouting. Jamie laughed.

"Oh, no. Tough day again too?" He asked matching your downturned lips.

"Probably the worst of the week, honestly. Someone side swiped my car. The whole side is dented and the paint taken off. They didn't even leave a note or anything. I mean, insurance will cover it...but still, are you kidding me?" You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your glass.

"Oh, god...I'm sorry, darling. You've really had a shocker of a week, huh?"

You nodded. "Messed up that big project at work, spilled coffee all over my new white shirt, broke my favorite necklace you gave me, Stephanie is mad at me for who knows what, now my car...a week from hell."

"Well, at least the week is over now. You made it through, love." He smiled.

You inhaled and exhaled smiling back. "Yeah...I wish you were here though. You always make everything better. I miss you."

"I miss you too, darling. I'm sorry I'm not there." He frowned.

"No, no it's okay. You're working, being the best actor in the world and all." You giggled.

He chuckled. "Oh, don't try to flatter me...you know my ego is big enough."

Talking to Jamie made you feel a lot better. Or maybe it was the wine. Or both. But you went to bed that night feeling a little better at least.

The next morning, you decided you would be active, as it was a lovely day. A leisurely bike ride sounded good...until it wasn't.

"Hi baby, what's up? Jamie said picking up the phone, sounding cheery.

You sniffled. "I'm in the ER."

"What?! What happened, are you okay?" He exclaimed.

"I'm okay, I just...I went for a bike ride this morning." You sniffled again. "And I don't know what happened, I must have hit a patch of something and I fell off. I think I broke my arm."

"Oh...my love...you poor thing. Ugh..." You didn't see, as you were having a regular phone call, so Jamie wouldn't see your puffy, red eyes from crying, but he ran his hand over his face. "Well, keep me updated, okay? I can come home if you need me to-"

"No, no." You shook your head. "No, you're working. I'll be okay. I just wanted to let you know- oh, the doctor's here. I'll call you back. I love you."

"I love you too, darling." The two of you hung up.

After a series of x-rays, it was determined you had indeed broken your arm, in two places. You were put into a sling for the next week, before you could get into the orthopedic specialist to be fitted for a full cast. You texted Jamie, slowly, with your non-dominant hand, to let him know the deal. He offered again to come home, but you wouldn't dream of making him do that, filming has only just started anyway.

After a couple days at home, the limitations that your injury imposed became incredibly frustrating. Since it was your dominant hand, even simple tasks were a struggle. You called Jamie this morning, just needing to talk.

"I just want to wash my hair!" You whimpered on the phone to Jamie. "I can't even put it up in a ponytail. I feel so gross, I just want to wash my hair." You wiped a tear.

"Baby...I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I love you so much." Jamie comforted you as you vented and cried before he had to leave to get back to set.

You spent the rest of the day sulking on the couch watching trash TV. Eventually, at some point you fell asleep watching the dull, plot-lacking reality shows. You awoke several hours later, hearing your door open and then close. You shot up, eyes fixed toward the sound of footsteps coming closer. Your hear pounded, mentally preparing yourself to be met with an intruder since you weren't expecting anyone. Your fear quickly flipped to surprise when you saw Jamie's face come around the corner. He stopped and immediately smiled when his eyes met yours. You blinked, wondering if you were maybe just dreaming.

"Jamie? But how did...when did...w-what are you doing here?"

"I'll come running whenever you need me. Even if we're across oceans." He smiled. "I was already on my way here when you called earlier, I was on a layover in New York.. When I said I had to get back to set, I was boarding my flight."

Your mouth hung open for a moment. "I don't deserve you, you angel man. I really don't." You shook your head, laughing lightly, eyes welling.

"So, would you like some help washing your hair, beautiful?" He smiled.

You nodded, allowing him to help you up as you both made your way to the bathroom. You turned to him as he reached to get the water running in the tub.

"I love you, thank you for always being there for me." You hugged him with your good arm.

"I always will be." He smiled, placing a kiss to your temple.

[tossawary]

Happy January, everyone!

I’m going to be keeping this icon for another month or so because I like it, but here’s a monthly/yearly update regardless.

I was away for the past week or so, not really able to do much besides post chapters from my phone (did not have access to Twitter), but I’m back now. I think I’m mostly going to spend January doing a little light housekeeping (AO3 comments, tumblr asks, overdue art etc.) while I focus on some job-related stuff for the next month or couple months. I was so busy last month that I had to stop answering a lot of AO3 comments for 41 days or so? It turns out that posting 3 multi-chapter fics in that time span left me with 1,700 AO3 comments. Definitely ending the year on a bang! Thank you!

“forgiveness for whose sake?”, “love to the ones I’ve never met”, “hey, share the weight a little”, and “Sit With Your Soul” were all gift fics for FTH 2022. I intend on continuing my Daemon AU, “Sit With Your Soul”, soon, but I’d like to reread SVSSS first because I’m feeling a little out of touch with the original material. I’ll keep people updated on my progress in regards to that. I’m also going to be writing some commentary for “love to the ones I’ve never met” probably this month. I had a lot of fun with all that prompt writing (I wrote 5 fanfiction novels this year!) and now I’m going to explore some other stuff, so I don’t think I’ll be doing FTH 2023 as a writer. There’s a Moshang Big Bang (10-30k) happening soon, however, that looks a little tempting...

Out of curiosity, how did people like the daily posting of a single arc? I think I prefer the weekly format, but this was also a lot of fun.

I’m lucky enough to be at a point in my life where I can write a lot and quite often very quickly. I’ve had a lot of practice and my living situation is good. I get a lot of fun out of it. And yet creativity can be exhausting. It’s not effortless. It can be hard and frustrating work that eats up a great deal of time and sometimes feels a little thankless. Sometimes, no matter what some people tell you about how good time management fixes everything, there is no time or energy to carve out of your life. (Don’t worry, I’m in a good spot. I just want to offer reassurance.)

After posting my AO3 stats for 2022, I want anyone feeling a little down about their creative projects to know that an inability to write or draw or whatever it is that you do is not your fault. Speaking as someone still working out what boundaries to draw when, who occasionally feels down about all the things I want to do but haven’t found the time for, if you need to draw the line and announce the need for a hiatus with no clear end in sight, it’s fine. If you need to go back on your word and ask for a pause, it’s fine. Don’t walk on strained muscles goes for creative efforts too. Sometimes, you just need to put down the project and go bake yourself the easiest cookie recipe you know, or pop out to the store and treat yourself to food that you don’t have to make yourself, or just lie down for a few hours in the middle of the afternoon on your day off and do fuck all. In my busy periods, I am not actually working every hour of the day; it’s just that instead of spending my free time writing, I am more likely to be napping on the couch. It’s good for the soul.

May you have a restful 2023. ❤

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

Photo credit: Mess Studio

09.25.24 - Once again the middle of the week is here, and once again I am grateful I get to work from home - in matching sweats no less! I bought my first matching set; it's Garfield and I got it specifically because it's got Pooky icons matching pretty prominently on it.

Work - I did not leave anything for myself to do at home except read some press releases; this means I'm here for whatever comes in by email but since I'm remote I doubt I'll have much work to do.

Background Noise - I am at home, for the next three days even, and so I'm mostly going to be binging my DVR. However, I have plenty of stuff I can put on mute on my tablet while I do that. I managed 17 videos yesterday, and at least a couple of them were over 2hrs long. So I'm hoping to keep some of that energy for my background vids.

Study - Wednesday is visual study day, and I have at least 4 hours of news programs on my DVR that will fulfil this criteria, along with whatever random articles & press releases I read.

Yesterday was productive, and the list of accomplished reading is long. I read 11 sections of the Jefferson Institute report on the Sally Hemings DNA confirmation, I read three articles related to climate change, I did six of Van Gogh's letters, two random articles, eight 'good news' articles, and a couple of published journal essays.

I also made some mention of following up on what I 'studied' over the weekend; now that I'm home where I left that list, I can safely say I read an article related to the Jefferson controversy, three press releases, a couple of temporarily bookmarked wikis, and like seven tabs from my phone.

Extras - Wednesday means I clean the catbox again, and vacuum; I'm doing some extra chores, but I'm off tomorrow so even more cleaning will be getting done then. Tonight is takeout; tomorrow is hunny's bday and he want homemade lasagna. This meal is an all-day affair, especially if I'm making sauce from scratch too, so that's why I'm off.

Lupinranger vs Patranger is silly and I'm enjoying it so I know I'll do more of that today; I'm not sure what hunny will want to do for his bday - that's up to him. I've been working on a longer piece this week, and right now it's running onto six pages so I probably won't write while I'm off. I might color though, and hunny got Katamari Reroll so I'm also going to encourage him to play some.