#probably bc i already wrote this chapter in a different direction and hated it lol

[anotherath-iii-na]

Discomforttale: Chapter 18

You have fallen through a hole, but you aren’t sure how you got there. Flowers are trying to fight you, goats are trying to mother you, puzzles are trying to confuse you…

you are filled with DISCOMFORT.

AO3

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Once more, you walk through thinning snow towards the damp place. What did the book call it? Swampland? Cavern? You know it’s named after some sort of environment or natural landmark. It’s an even less creative name than Icevi—Snowdin. That’s what it’s called. You wish you were back there, back with Papyrus and the Snowed Inn and the little river with smooth, smooth rocks and the quiet, tree-lined path leading back to the Ruins, back to Mom, back to butterscotch-cinnamon pie and bug catching and reading ‘til you fall asleep in her lap and waking up to the smell of baking, where you only knew about these places from books and you didn’t have to worry about royalty who want you dead or skeletons with glowing bedrooms asking about things you never did or, or, or—

*Chisk, the left voice mutters, and you blink away the dampness in your eyes to find a yellow reptilian monster about your height staring at you.

“Yo? Underground to, uh…you? You doin’ okay?”

You gulp a few times, but nod. Just thinking, you sign, before you notice, oh. They’re the monster from before. They don’t have arms. Why would they know sign language if they couldn’t use it? You open your mouth to try to force the words out, but they speak first.

“Well, looks like you’re thinking too much!” they say with a grin. Oh. They do know it. Come to think of it, so did all the other monsters you talked to. How…convenient. “You gotta watch where you’re going here in Waterfall. It’s not like Snowdin.”

It isn’t? What’s different? Is it…dangerous?

“Yeah, it’s all stony, and there’s ledges and water all over. If you’re not paying attention, you could get hurt!”

You note that they must have learned from experience, judging by the darkened places around their eyes. Or maybe that’s just how their face is. Do monsters even bruise?

“Anyways, I’m M.K. Are you sneaking out to see her too?”

M.K. You wonder what the letters stand for, or if that’s just their full name. Would it be spelled “Emkay” then? Monsters do have funny names, but you supposed yours isn’t very common either. Still, you’re sure it must be initials. Maybe they stand for Monster Kid. It would be fitting. You nearly laugh, but M.K. is staring at you again. You blink. What was the question?

“What, were you thinking again?” You nod, grinning sheepishly. “You gotta stop that, yo!” They tilt their head a bit. “Well, don’t stop thinking. That’d probably be bad.” They grin, steeling their expression into something courageous. “But you have to pay attention to what’s going on! A true warrior is always aware of their surroundings! And I’m going to be a true warrior, just like Undyne!” They’re bouncing on their feet, tail swinging behind them. You blink. “You’re going to be a warrior too, right?”

What? You shake your head. No, no no no. You’d rather not be a warrior. That’s too much fighting for your liking.

M.K. looks a bit disappointed for a moment, but they go right back to bouncing. “Aw, well. What are you going to be, then?”

You shrug. You haven’t thought that far.

“Nothing wrong with that!” they say brightly. “You’re still a kid, I can tell by your shirt. You have a while to figure that out. But I already know exactly what I’m doing!” They tilt their head at you again. “You’re still here to see her though, right? I mean, you don’t have to be a warrior to know how cool she is! And she’s the coolest! Just don’t tell my parents I’m here, haha.”

You don’t bother answering, since they buried the question and you think it would be a little awkward to just nod or shake your head after all that, and you don’t feel like talking. So you just smile, and actually, yeah, nod your head too. It doesn’t have to be an answer. It can just mean you’re listening.

“Awesome!” Oh. They took it as an answer anyway. …you think. “Anyway, I’m gonna go look for her. See you later!” And off they run, teetering a bit, but they manage to right themself without falling on their face.

You think on their words for a minute. Not the ones about not thinking too much. That would be ironic, and also counterproductive. No, you think about other words. You’re still a kid. You have time to figure things out. Maybe you could just…stop, for a bit. Stop and think. Figure out what you’re going to do.

Your eyes are drawn ahead of you, to your left. Sans sits at his sentry station. He catches your gaze and waves lazily.

…not here, then.

You go forward, past Sans—who says something about hanging out again sometime—and follow the path M.K. took. It leads past a box like the ones from Snowdin (which you ignore for now, since you think you have everything you need) and to a waterfall.

A waterfall with rocks flowing down it.

Oh no.

Okay, you reason. You can think about this logically. You don’t see M.K. anywhere around. Could they have really gotten past such a dangerous (senseless, pointlessly time-consuming, possibly deadly) obstacle in such a short amount of time? No, you don’t think so. …unless they’re more used to the danger of the area than you’d think they should be. They’re still a kid, too.

Still, you’re sure there must be some sort of shortcut. You follow the wood boards (they’re blue, they don’t look painted, how can wood be blue—) with your eyes, tracing a path downwards, to another waterfall. A perfect place to hide a secret, less dangerous path for locals. No sense in making human traps if they trap monsters just as often. No point in making human traps at all, really, if humans as rare as they say, but you’re going to try not to judge anyone around here.

It’s surprisingly difficult.

Down the path you walk, careful not to trip on loose boards or slip on what water you’re sure must be there. You try to peek behind the waterfall for a safe, preferably non-slippery path inwards, but there’s not enough space between the water and the wall. You try the other side, but it’s just as bad. Nothing.

Still, there’s a pretty blue flower down here, so it’s not a total waste. It looks like the flower you saw by the orange fish monster, but you hadn’t been able to get a close look at it with all the people around. …monsters, you mean. You lean over to smell it, but as soon as you get near it, you jump. It speaks.

“Sitting behind rushing water... It makes me feel relaxed. I swore I saw something... Behind that rushing water...”

Is that a clue? Why would there be a clue? (And why does everything talk down here?) You glare at the waterfall. You’re going to be very upset with it if it’s hiding something from you. You look at it again, from the front this time, and you think you see something? There’s something shining there, like the flower said, just beyond the rushing water.

*A camera, Left supplies, thinking a pointed eyeroll in your direction.

A camera? Like back before Snowdin, right outside the door to the Ruins? Why is there a camera? Who’s watching you?

[Don’t think too hard,] Right says. [Remember M.K.!]

Right, right. You have to pay attention. With one last glance at the camera, you head back up the path to the terrifying murder-fall (it’s like a waterfall, except murder objects fall down too, and apparently they’re popular with monsters—but you’re not judging them, not at all). You’re going to have to get wet, aren’t you? You hate getting wet. You’re not sure how you know that, since that never happened as far as you remember, but you do. You really, really hope the water is shallow enough that it doesn’t get in your boots, but you really, really doubt it.

You could…jump the rocks, maybe? Is that the puzzle? Or maybe you’re supposed to climb the rocks around the falls and there’s a bridge up top. Or maybe—

*Or maybe you should not kid yourself. Even if that was the puzzle’s intention, you are not nearly athletic enough to accomplish such a task.

Slightly hurt, you have to agree. No matter what you were meant to do, wading seems to be your only option. Still, you wiggle your toes at the water’s edge for several moments before finally stepping in.

It’s cold. It’s really, really cold and it’s in your boots and it’s hard to lift your feet up to move and—oh god, that’s a rock—you move upstream to avoid being hit. Actually, you move directly into the waterfall when you’re paying too close attention to the murderrocks and now you’re soaked.

Shaking, you take a moment to calm down. You look around to assess your situation. You’re in a cave (*What else is new, Left says, but you ignore them) behind the waterfall and there’s a tutu on the ground.

Why is there a tutu on the ground.

[Pick up the tutu and it won’t be on the ground anymore.]

A reasonable suggestion. You pick up the tutu, coughing at the cloud of dust, and consider putting it on. It’s certainly cute, and it almost matches one stripe on your shirt, and it’s not like you’re stealing it if someone left it here…

*Yes, will you finally trade that bandaid for something more helpful?

Bandaid? Oh, they mean the necklace. But why would the tutu be any more helpful? And why would you need to take off your necklace to wear it?

[…that’s a good point, actually.]

They start talking amongst themselves, but you ignore them and slip the tutu on. You do a little twirl, then another and another until you’re dizzy. You lean against the wall until everything stops spinning.

You’ve dried off a bit (and emptied the water out of your oversized boots), but you’re just going to get wet again. You sigh, steel yourself, and head back out through the waterfall.

It’s not quite as bad now that you’re used to it. You’d really rather not have to get used to it, but anything to make it a little less unpleasant. You make it to the other side having only bumped into a single rock, nearly skipping with pride. That is, until you feel your socks pull from your boots and make that awful squelch and you have to sit down and get the water out again. And take off your socks. Those go in your inventory.

As bad as it feels to wear shoes without socks, wearing them with wet socks would be worse and you don’t have the time to wait for them to dry. You have to get…somewhere, and somewhere is where you’re going.

Until you get to the tall grass, that is.

You’re halfway through the grass when you hear Papyrus. Grinning, you almost wave at him, but you see her. Undyne. You know, the monster who’s planning on killing you and stealing your soul. And Papyrus is talking to her. Papyrus, your new friend. Or…you thought he was a friend. You knew he wanted to be in the royal guard, that he wanted to capture a human, but…but…

“...I UNDERSTAND. I'LL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN.”

But you didn’t think he’d betray you.

Hurt, holding back tears, you suddenly don’t want to go anymore. You want to stay right where you are, hidden in the grass and hugging yourself. More than that, you want to go back to Snowdin, but Papyrus is there. He’s working for Undyne now. You won’t be safe. You want to go back to Mom, but the door is locked and you’d have to go through Snowdin. Sans might help you, though. He had that shortcut to Grillby’s, maybe he has one to the Ruins?

No. He’d pick his brother over you any day. You have nowhere to go but forward, so forward you’ll go. The grass rustles as you walk and—what’s that? You look up at the sound and oh god, oh god, it’s Undyne, she never left, you thought she left!

She moves towards the ledge and pulls out a spear from…somewhere…and oh god, you’re going to die here—

But she puts the spear away.

And she leaves.

And you’re stuck there in the tall, tall grass and you’re cold and wet and terrified and you sob.

You sob so loud you don’t even hear the grass rustling when someone approaches you. You only hear them talk.

“Yo...did you see the way she was staring at you...? That was AWESOME! I'm SOOOO jealous! What did—” M.K. bends their head around to look at your face. “Yo, are you crying? What’s wrong?”

You wipe at your face with your sleeves. You don’t even have the energy to sign a response. You just turn your head upwards to look at the ledge Undyne had been standing on.

“Are you…scared? Did you think she was really going to hurt you?” Miserably, you nod. “Yo, you must not be from around here! Undyne wouldn’t hurt you! She just hurts bad guys, like humans!”

That certainly didn’t make you feel any better, but you force out a little smile for their sake.

“Yeah, that’s it! C'mon! Let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!”

Off they run (and fall on their face, but they get back up alright) and finally you move. Out of the grass, you turn around to look up at the shadowed ledge. A feeling of dread hangs over you.

You are filled with discomfort.

Continue?

Yes        No

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions. 

Penny Dreadful 

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite.  I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite. 

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read: 

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least. 

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie. 

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.) 

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.  

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore. 

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.) 

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find! 

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines. 

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history. 

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing. 

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him. 

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby. 

Misc. 

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him) 

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man) 

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.) 

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time) 

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.) 

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that. 

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans. 

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now! 

[femslashy]

2018 fic year in review

thank you so much for tagging me @homosociallyyours !! this was really fun (and also a bit hard haha) to do ^__^

1. number of stories (including drabbles) posted to ao3: 19 (6 100 word seasonal drabbles, and out of the rest 4 are under 1k and 2 are chaptered but one of those is still a WIP)

2. word count posted for the year: 142,383 which is def more than i’ve written in previous years but my initial goal for this year was 200k and then i lowered it to 150k and then decided i should focus less on word count and more on actually finishing the fics lmaooo

3. list of works posted this year in order of posting:

the tesco fic (although i didn’t make the tumblr post until recently)

three spring drabbles (100 words each)

begin again [timestamp] (my only snowbaz fic in 2018)

we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown

SPHERICAL

got me an appetite, now i can taste it

Take a Chance on Me

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT)

my favourite colour is you

louis tomlinson’s completely 100% foolproof guide to snagging the fit bloke next door (3 100 word drabbles)

no better place than right by your side

days gone by (WIP)

love the cronch

zero to sixty

where the love light gleams

4. fandoms i wrote for: mostly one direction and by that i mean i posted a timestamp for a carry on fic from 2017 and the rest was one direction lol

5. pairings: harry/louis, simon/baz (ONCE)

6. story with the most hits: Take a Chance on Me with 10975 hits :o

7. story with the most kudos: Take a Chance on Me with 426 kudos

8. story with the most comments: Take a Chance on Me with 52 comments threads

9. work i’m most proud of and why: well Take a Chance on Me was both my first time doing a big bang as well as the longest thing i’ve ever written (twice the length of the previous longest!) and i’m still completely in love with the art for it courtesy of @vulpixlou and i def don’t go back to stare at it ever nope 👀👀

10. work i’m least proud of and why: i mean i could nitpick the hell out of my stuff and i know there are certain bits i would write differently now but at the same time i created something with my brain that didn’t exist before and that’s just too cool not to be proud of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

this is from Take a Chance on Me (shocker) and i was having trouble thinking of my fave but then i was skimming through all of my fics and ngl i had forgotten about this bit but y’all i’ve been trying to work a Dramatic Airport Reunion into a fic FOR FUCKING EVER and i finally did it and i actually don’t hate it? (spoiler for the ending of Take a Chance on Me)

“See…” Louis starts. “See, there’s this guy. And, oh god, he’s an absolute twat. Wanna know what he did to me?” Harry nods faintly, and Louis, emboldened now, goes on. “So, I already knew who he was, right? I knew him, because he’d been in this god-awful boy band for years, and even if me bloody sisters hadn’t been so bloody in love with him, I’d still have known him, because he was just that famous.”

“I wasn��t that famous.”

“Don’t interrupt,” Louis chastises, and Harry mimics zipping his lips. “So this guy, I knew him, but he didn’t know me, but, fucking hell, I think someone forgot to tell him that, because there I was, minding my own business, when this kid just…” Louis giggles then, because the memory is just so ridiculous, “he just starts fucking singing to me, can you believe it?”

Harry shakes his head. “What a weirdo.”

“Right? The weirdest.”

“What happened next?”

“I fell in love with him.”

“What? That soon?”

“Of course not, Jesus, Harold. I’m not that pathetic. I waited the appropriate amount of time to fall in love, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you’re here, then?” Harry whispers. “Is it because you love him?”

“That’s part of it, yeah. I love him, and I love the way we just fit, and I adore his daughter, and our pets are friends now, and I think our sisters are best friends now, so they didn’t actually give me a choice, but do you want to know the biggest, most important reason?”

Harry nods quickly, so hard his chin bumps his chest, and Louis’ so fucking in love with him at that moment that these are the easiest words he’s ever said.

“I’m here,” he tells Harry, “because I was lying in my own bed, in my own house, surrounded by all my things, and all I wanted to do was go home.”

He’s yanked forward then, Harry’s fingers digging into his shoulders, and he barely feels the pain because it’s Harry, and everything’s good when it’s Harry. He’s babbling into Louis’ neck, and the only words he can make out are his name and “love you” and he shivers with the feeling.

Harry’s hair has grown out enough since the night Louis snuck in to see him that he can tangle his fingers in the strands. So he does, pulling Harry’s face away from his neck and pressing their lips together. Every kiss feels like an apology. Every kiss feels like home.

12. share or describe a favorite review you recieved: so this miiiiight be cheating but i received two comments on a fic i wrote in 2015 and it was kind of a surprise that something that old still held up and people still enjoy it? def made me feel better about my current writing and also anyone who quotes my fics back to me has earned my undying love and affection

13. a time when writing was really, really hard: i have adhd so p much always ahahaha

14. a scene or character you wrote that most surprised you: the entirety of “we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown” ngl because i struggled with the like… morally gray criminal-y elements? and portraying the two of them in such a different way while still staying in character which i like to think i nailed? hopefully lol

15. how did you grow as a writer this year? i don’t feel like a i have? but i’m also bias and hypercritical so maybe i did and just didn’t realize ahaha

16. how do you hope to grow next (this?) year: i want to enjoy writing again and i want to finish more fics and not let them rot in my docs because of self-doubt

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: okay so first @amandaisnotwriting is the real MVP as she bears the brunt of my whining/complaining/drama queen moments as well as the fact that she listens (some would argue is forced to :p) and reads over fic for a pairing she doesn’t ship for a fandom she doesn’t care about 😂😂😂

@rainbowbaz always makes time to look over my fics even when she’s crazy busy and is honestly amazing and saves my fics from americanisms ahahaha

and FINALLY we met p late in the year but but @livingatthelairport ‘s comment on “the tesco fic” helped me out of a writing slump and now she’s become my cheerleader (and friend 💜) and that’s make a huge difference in my attitude towards writing! it’s also easier to write a fic for a specific person than worry about the opinion of a crowd which is def something i’ve been missing in this fandom rip

also to everyone else who has read my fics, listened to me rant about them or just helped the process along in any way at all this is a GIANT thank you!!

18. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? i mean i can’t think of anything off the top of my head but a lot of my inspo comes from the world around me so probably lol

19. any wisdom you can share with other writers: there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous of other writers because i’m not a fan of hiding feelings just because they’re ugly as long as you don’t let it fester and turn into resentment or make you bitter. there are a lot of factors that go into a fic becoming “big” in a fandom but honestly most of it is just random chance so don’t beat yourself up because someone else’s success is not your failure and it’s nice to get recognition for your hard work but if you’re writing solely for the feedback then you’re writing for the wrong reason and that will lead to the resentment and bitterness mentioned earlier

also if you compliment someone you say you like their outfit but if you complement someone then you complete them

20. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED

these are all the things i didn’t start and/or finish in 2018 that WILL be completed this year

the cat fic

the doctor fic

the final three chapters of days gone by

penpal AU

Space. Florist.

teenage fanboys who are also best friends

baking blog fic

a short follow up to tacom

twitter drama fic

80’s/’high school’/secret admirer!AU

something based on yawning grave by lord huron

part three of the alien harry series

chocolate orange holiday fic

LA fic (wtwm)

70’s fic

monkey fic

i’m also planning to do the @larryabroad challenge again because i had so much fun with it last time :D

21. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

p sure everyone has done this but if you haven’t then do it now! and also tagging @cosyblack k bc you’ve had a really good year even if i have beta bias 😂

this took waaay longer than i thought it would omg but it was nice to take a look back!!

[tayegi]

im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all