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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 5 months

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8: SURPRISE!

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Bucky's surprise birthday party provides more surprises than you had hoped.

Word count 3.2k

Warnings: Birthday boy behaving badly, Priya is the warning here!

Erik’s sexual intervention had released you of the tension you felt whenever you were around Bucky and you realized that his birthday was quickly approaching. You made it your mission to start working on Bucky’s birthday party. The previous year he had flat out refused to let you throw him any festive gathering and you had only accepted that on one condition: he would get one this year. You had no intention of letting him wheedle his way out of it this year. He had begrudgingly agreed but only if it was something small and intimate with his friends only.

You had given Bucky a withering look. "Trust me! I know you well enough. You’re going to like it. I promise!"

You felt like a kid in a candy store, who had been given the keys to Willy Wonka’s entire kingdom. Glee was written across your features, you wanted everything to be perfect for your best friend. Steve was your trusty accomplice and you had invited Priya into the fold as a way to make up for your misdemeanors. She had suggested that you order food from Sticks and Stones because he loved the food there and even convinced Victor to help with the catering.

A week before the auspicious day, you had pulled Steve aside to ask him if he would accompany you to pick up Bucky’s birthday gift.

"Did you find it?" Steve asked you.

"The Glenn Miller vinyl?"

Steve nodded.

"Yeah, I found it! It’s in a vintage records store in SoHo." You smiled.

"Bucky’s going to love it. His family would play them all the time, he was such a natural dancer. It would be nice for him to do that again."

"I’m glad it’s got Captain America’s seal of approval!" you quipped cheekily.

Steve rolled his eyes, feeling relaxed and happy for once. "Do you want to go and pick it up now? I’ll drive. I can pick up my gift at the same time!"

"Oh that would be great, Steve! What did you get him?"

"You know that picture you took, the one of Bucky, you, me, Nat and Sam?"

"Yeah, I know the one."

"I painted it. There is a guy who said he would frame it and he texted me this morning saying it was ready to collect.

"Steve! I can’t wait to see it!" you squealed with excitement. "Let’s go!"

Both of you set off, climbing the stairs that led to the parking garage.

"Oh, Priya, hey! Didn't see you there!" you smiled at her as you noticed her presence at the top of the staircase.

Priya smiled back at you tersely.

"Everything okay?" Steve asked.

"Fine."

"Do you need a lift home?"

"No, I'm spending the night with Bucky."

"Ahh," Steve blushed at the implication of sex.

You rolled your eyes and tugged on Steve's sleeve. "Come on, punk. See you later Priya!"

March tenth came around quicker than expected. You waited impatiently for Bucky to arrive as his 'surprise’ party. Even though Priya was distracting him, Bucky knew about the events that had been planned. You knew he didn't like loud noises or jump scares, but he had promised to act suitably surprised.

Everything for the party went off without a hitch. The room was filled with dozens and dozens of black and gold balloons. Swing music was playing on the gramophone that Tony had purchased for the occasion. Sam cheekily had a cardboard cut out of Bucky made with his vibranium arm cut off so you could play ‘Pin the arm on Bucky’. You groaned but secretly you wanted to beat everyone.

Thor had made an appearance and was already half way through the bucketful of Asgardian ale, which he claimed to have brought for the birthday boy. Even Ayo, who you'd invited, had graced you with her presence. When she arrived, you flung your arms around the reserved Wakandan warrior. The Dora Milaje did not engage in public displays of emotion, but for you she offered a hug in return.

Things seemed to be going well. Bucky arrived with Priya and was greeted with yells and streamers. Bucky's surprise was convincing… possibly a little too dramatic, making Priya laugh and you groan exasperatedly. You stood on the side of the room watching everyone mingle, enjoying how Bucky's attention was demanded from everyone in the room. His friends were kind enough not to crowd him, or overwhelm him, but also make him feel special all at the same time.

It warmed your heart to see the light in his eyes, the enjoyment on his face. Priya was glued to his side, stroking his hair, whispering in his ear. His arm was constantly around her waist. She was the only thing that marred your perfect vision of the event.

"I am surprised that James chose that woman," Ayo appeared beside you, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Jesus, Ayo. We've talked about you sneaking around. Don't make me tie a bell around your ankles!"

Ayo smiled. "Why isn't that you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why haven't you told James how you feel?" Ayo doesn't wait for your reply. "It could be you dancing with him rather than standing here looking like a wallflower."

"Maybe you could dance with me."

"I think not, Y/N." Ayo never used your nickname.

"Way to let a girl down gently, Ayo."

Ayo just rolled her eyes at you and ventured over to Thor who was challenging everyone to a drinking contest, one which no one was engaging in. Steve was beside him, sipping the liquor carefully enjoying the buzz he rarely got to experience. Wanda and Vision were lovingly embraced in each other's arms in a corner, dancing like the rest of the world didn't exist. Nat was behind the bar serving her own special cocktails and flirting with a blushing Bruce. Clint and Laura were laughing with Pepper, while Tony, Sam and Rhodey were playing cards and making the most outrageous noise.

You loved your little found family, even though you missed the one that brought you up. Coulson's S.H.I.E.L.D. team had inducted you into the world of violence and espionage and aliens and time travel. It was with them that you'd learnt to control your powers and become worthy to call yourself an Avenger.

Agent Melinda May was the only member of the team you saw regularly anymore since she worked close by in the new S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy HQ. She had been your S.O. for many years and held a special place in your heart, despite her prickly exterior. She often joked that you would make an excellent addition to her staff at the Academy and to ensure that you lived long enough to accept the position when retiring from ‘that Avenger gig’.

You were brought out of your reverie about the past by Priya, who was standing on a chair shouting about it being time for presents.

Everyone cheered and you were grinning like a lunatic now. You felt excited to give Bucky your gift. The first edition Glenn Miller record was safely wrapped in a solid casing. In the Mood was the last song that Bucky and his family had danced to while he had been on leave from the War. His last happy memory of them before he had fallen from the life he had known, before he had been thrust into a world of ice and torture.

About a year ago, you had caught Bucky using your Spotify to listen to music from his childhood and had offhandedly mentioned this piece of information about his past. You kept hold of this precious tidbit for the right occasion.

Bucky had already started ripping open wrapping paper when you ventured over. Wanda had knitted him a black scarf with golden threads to match his arm, which had made him smile. Next Sam handed him a small black box which Bucky opened to find a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs.

"Thought you could use some props, spice life up a little," he winked at Bucky. Sam had a way of pushing Bucky's buttons, but you could see the mild blush on Bucky's cheeks which deepened when Priya interjected.

"Thank you very much, Samuel, but James and I don't need such tawdry things in the bedroom."

Bucky shrugged apologetically at Sam and you wondered if he was thinking about your recent conversation.

Sam was pushed aside by Thor, who deposited a large vat of ale into Bucky's arms. "Many happy returns, metal man." He patted Bucky on the back so hard that Bucky almost dropped his gift.

Bucky was depositing the alcohol on the gift table when he was approached by Ayo. "Happy Birthday, James."

"Thank you for coming, it means a lot that you took the time."

"You look like you are doing well for yourself."

"Yeah, it’s good," Bucky smiled.

"This is for you." She handed him a simple box with padding on the inside. Bucky opened it to find a pair of ornately decorated blades made from vibranium. Everyone gasped at how beautiful they looked in the dim lights. They collapsed in on themselves and were discrete and easy to conceal. Ayo pointed out a small device which acted like a homing beacon so Bucky would be able to locate them if he lost sight of them.

"These are incredible! Thank you."

Tony didn't have many words but he did hand Bucky a beautifully ornate envelope which Bucky opened tentatively. Inside was an invitation to a magnificent moonlit dinner on a yacht on the Hudson. Bucky held the gift reverently in his hands, his vibranium fingers barely gripping, as though their strength might make the gift crumble. His eyes glistened in the party lights, a thin film of unshed tears. There had been a time where they were ready to kill each other, and even now they never spent any time alone together. You knew that this gift meant a lot to Bucky.

"Dinner on a boat? I think we'll have to pass on that, I get sea sick." Priya commented, gazing at the gift certificate around Bucky's arm.

A flicker of irritation crossed Tony's face, before he grinned mischievously. "Not a problem, it's not person specific. Manchurian Candidate here can take anyone he likes. Capsicle might not be a fan of the food, but I think Cricket would really enjoy the cuisine."

He turned to wink at you, making you blush. You couldn’t help but notice the scowl on Priya’s face, no matter how short lived it was and you knew you were about to meet your comeuppance when the glowering look she was shooting in your direction turned into a beaming smile.

"Jamie! It’s my turn, baby. I have a very special gift for you!" She hands him a thin square shaped gift wrapped in shiny golden wrapping paper. "Here!"

You felt a sudden weight on your chest, a feeling of dread washing over you. It felt like things were moving in slow motion, watching Bucky unwrap the gift. You didn’t know what you had been expecting when he pulled out a shiny record cover. It was as though someone had poured a bucket of ice water over you, except you were paralyzed. The color drained from your face as you realized what the album was.

‘The Very Best of Glenn Miller.’

Bucky’s eyes shone brightly as he dropped the wrapping paper and ran his flesh fingers over the cover reverently. "Priya," he gasped in a whisper. "I- it's perfect." Bucky wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest and giving her a long, passionate kiss. "I love it! I love you!"

You barely noticed Steve sideling up to you, you couldn't hear him asking if you were okay. That was your gift. It was yours! If you didn’t have the vinyl you’d bought and so lovingly wrapped in your hand, you’d think she had stolen it from you. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, every attempt you made felt futile, like the air around you had left the room. He had shared the same things with her, you thought he trusted you with his past, but you weren't as special as you thought you were.

Eventually you looked up when Steve put a gentle hand on your shoulder. He whispered, almost as though his words he was about to use were criminal. "Do you remember when we were talking last week? Before we went to pick up our gifts? You don’t think she overheard us… do you? And…"

In the end, it didn’t really matter. You knew in the moment that you’d lost Bucky forever. Everything felt far away, the room was suffocating, why were there so many people? Tears burned in your orbital sockets, drowning you from the inside out. You couldn’t face them anymore, seeing the happiness on Bucky’s face, knowing that someone else was responsible for that smile, that light inside him, was heartbreaking. Ultimately, you wanted him to be happy but you wanted to share that joy with him, you wanted to be the one to give it to him and watching that mantle being taken from you and bequeathed to another person was soul crushing. Gripping your present tightly, you slipped out of the room, Steve watching your retreating footsteps with sympathy, but knowing not to follow.

A few tears escaped as you found refuge in the kitchen, but you had no desire to explain red eyes and a blotchy nose to any of the other team members or party goers, so you wiped them away angrily, taking a few calming breaths before pouring yourself a strong drink. You sank onto a bar stool, shoving the record onto the chair to your right, you had no use for it anymore. There had barely been time for you to take 2-3 sips from your drink before Bucky popped his head into the room.

"Cricket? There you are!"

"Hey Buck! Having a good time?" You plastered a smile on your face, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Deception in this case was a futile attempt, Bucky was well versed in the movements of your face. "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing," you lied. "Just getting a drink."

"There are plenty of drinks back there."

He looked searchingly into your eyes and the facade you had erected was crumbling. You looked away, dropping your head to try and hide your face with your hair.

"It was just a bit much, everyone there… I don’t know, I feel a little… overwhelmed."

Too much drain of the social battery, Bucky was familiar with that. He pulled out the chair on your left, almost giving you a heart attack because you had momentarily forgotten which chair you’d left the present on.

"If you want to give me my gift here, we can do it privately. Everyone else is done," Bucky suggested, leaning towards you.

The smell of his cologne was intoxicating. Suddenly you felt angry that he was there, why couldn’t he give you a moment to grieve? Constantly invading your space, reminding you of what you couldn’t have, dangling the carrot but keeping it just out of reach. "Well you already have the perfect gift from your girlfriend, what more do you need?" You couldn’t keep the bitterness out of your tone.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. But the damage was done. There was a deathly silence between you where you were afraid to look at your best friend.

"You know, I thought I would have you both in my life; my best friend and my girlfriend. I feel like you’re making me choose you over her and it’s not fair, Cricket! I’ve tried, I really have but you’re making it impossible! So you know what, I’m going to have to choose Priya. At least she bothered to put some effort into getting me a birthday gift. I can have a future with her."

The worst thing about his words were the disappointment and finality in his tone. And with that he left you alone with only your thoughts for company. A storm raged inside you, a maelstrom of emotions; anger, betrayal, abandonment, rejection, loss, just outright pain. How could he? How could he choose her over you? After everything you had been through together, the bond you had forged, the absolute faith and trust you had put in each other. Did it mean nothing to him? Did you mean nothing to him?

Trudging back to your room, you sought comfort in your giant bed, hoping it would envelope you completely. Wrapping the duvet around your body and over your head, you buried your face in a pillow and allowed the tears to fall. Once the gates had opened, the trickle of tears became a flood as you sobbed into your pillow to muffle the sound.

Why did he have to choose? Why didn’t he choose you? The pain in your chest was unbearable, a physical ache that matched the emotional turmoil inside you. You had tried so hard to make things work, to give him a balance of your friendship with his relationship with Priya, but now it seemed like all your efforts had been in vain. He had made his choice, and it wasn’t with you.

As you lay there in your bed, the tears continued to flow, a never-ending stream of sadness and heartbreak. You felt like a piece of you had been ripped away, leaving a raw, gaping wound in its place. How could you move on from this? How could you ever trust anyone again, knowing that they could just choose someone else over you?

You sighed, you knew now that you would never be good enough for him. Everything you’d tried to hold on to, had done nothing but push him away. You remembered when you had first understood your feelings, you’d considered pulling away to protect yourself. But Bucky had reeled you back in, constantly asking if he had done something to hurt you. So you’d given in, telling yourself you didn’t want to hurt him. But in reality, it had been selfish, you had indulged in a fantasy and ended up hurting the man you loved and getting hurt in the process.

You startled as a door slammed shut nearby. It was Bucky’s bedroom door, you could hear Priya giggling and Bucky’s deep voice through the wall. Your body froze with shock, the last thing you needed right now was to listen to your best friend having sex with his girlfriend. You shoved your airpods into your ears and turned up one of your lo-fi playlists and closed your eyes.

The decision you should have made then, was far more clear to you now. Your friend and old superior officer from your S.H.I.E.L.D. team had repeatedly offered you the chance to teach with her at the newly formed Coulson Academy. She had taught you everything you knew and believed in your ability to impart the knowledge you’d gained to potential agents. It was time for you to take her up on this offer.

As you wiped away your tears and made a decision to move forward, you knew that it was time to focus on yourself and your own happiness. Bucky had made his choice, and now it was time for you to make yours. You couldn’t continue to dwell on what would never be, on the pain of rejection and heartbreak.

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Tag list: @samodivaa @scoonsalicious @noonespecial90 @browneyedgrli @vicmc624 @cjand10 @capswife @julvrs @ordelixx @sashaisready @sebastians-love @belleofthebooks @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @rabbitrabbit12321 @love-isnt-greed @hhiggs @winters1917 @blackhawkfanatic @calwitch @learisa @daybleedsintonightfa11 @lillianacristina @mostlymarvelgirl @wintercrow @buckitostan @crist1216 @bisexualnikkisixx @robynjasp

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fan fiction #my best friend's girl

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creamybeemovie69 · 8 months

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Some of my favourite little details in avatar: frontiers of pandora

The two guards outside the council room in the aranahe hometree that just chat shit? All the time? Even during that last confrontation with Etuwa's father they're just stood chatting about someone's poor foraging skills or some shit it's so funny

The fact that the camera lowers when you're speaking to humans, which I know is probably so we can get a good look at them but I chose to believe it's because your sarentu slowly kneels until they're eye level with them

Nefika and Relun's dynamic of miserable old man and batshit crazy old woman

Whatever the fuck Okul's got going on. Gender? Babes they're clinically insane, they're too busy running into poisonous gas to worry about gender

The sleeping pod things hanging from the ceiling in the hometree. It took me forever to work out where they were all sleeping because there was no way they were all fitting in that one sleeping den

"it is sound proof Priya."

Anqa forgetting her training and getting attacked by wasps because she's too busy thinking about Priya

Hajir and Alex planning to have tea, no one talk to me

Daniella being this very capable badass soldier with a hardened exterior and her himbo husband who's just happy to be there as long as there's wood to whittle and food to cook

The sarentu humming sarentu songs while they cook

Zomey refusing to leave the plane until she saw Eetu get out

The resistance humans wearing clothes that have been altered/repaired by Na'vi weavers

Minang losing her shit and charging the base in the plains despite being the calmer, more collected one? Good shit.

That little detail in the cloud spitter description that says kids make a game of seeing how close they can get to the plant without triggering it

"I can still smell the chemicals" just kill me now I can't take this

Every single individual human having to ask Jake Sully for permission to stay on the planet. Were they forced to go back to the RDA if he said no? Or were they just left to die out on pandora?

The ferals being unable to communicate with eachother and being so angry because they're so lonely

Kin, Relun and the Kame'tire trader all being friends before the Kame'tire were banished

Priya not being able to talk to Alma in her human form because her avatar was her friend

Nor just. Disappearing? Where did he go? Is he okay? Why can't I go looking for him?

The Na'vi naming options for your Ikran being the names of other kids in TAP

So'lek collecting the identity tags of the soldiers he kills

So'lek in general actually. "This dReAmWaLkEr decided to lock you up in a box instead 👀"

Alex being granted permission to stay on pandora because he wanted to keep Grace's legacy alive through his work. Why is this never mentioned anywhere but in his character description?

The comic book pages

The fact that Priya dyes her hair. Are you actually telling me this excitable little climatologist worked out how to make hair dye from pandoran plants before Alex figured out how to eat any of it?

Anqa's fucking "my land was invaded too". Give this head-empty lesbian a break man

Everyone hating Billy because they think he can't be trusted only for him to be one of the most loyal among them

Etuwa's father refusing to fight because he lost his wife, then deciding to fight because he won't let them take his daughter too

"what have they done to you, my beautiful?" Actually sobbing like a fucking baby rn

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neteyamssyulang · 8 months

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⭒ Tumbled Stones Station ⭒

⭒ Part 1 ⭒

⭒ Pairing: Okul x Fem sarentu reader ⭒

⭒ Part 2 here ⭒

⭒ Summary: The picnic you planned with Okul goes better than expected, till an unexpected visitor shows up.

⭒ Warnings: None really, Mostly kinda fluffy, besides a small make out session, Scenting, Slightly possesive Okul?, Vistor ruining the moment.

⭒ Word count: 1,243 ⭒

⭒ Translation(s): Yavä -> The poisonous fog, Oe tìyawn nga -> I love you, Oe tìyawn nga nìteng, ma narlor 'eve -> I love you too my beautiful girl, the hollows -> Kame’tire clan home.

⭒ A/N: First Okul fic! Our baby needs more love in the fandom🩵 Still working on how I can do a smutty one with them. Also yes I added Anufi having an Ikran in this. And requests are almost finished so I’ll be posting them soon!🥰

⭒ Tagging: @neteyamsyawntu

It was the perfect day for a picnic. Priya had mentioned that on nice sunny days like this, humans sometimes gather a blanket, some food and drinks then go to a nice quiet spot for a picnic with a friend or two.

You didn't want to bring just anyone, no, you wanted Okul to come with you. They needed a break anyway from all the research they've been doing to try and find out a way to get rid of the yavä.

Though you practically had to drag Okul from Siul's workshop, they were pouting the entire time saying they couldn't take a break and needed to get back.

Once on the ikran, Okul went quiet. Their arms wrapped around your waist from behind as their head layed against your back. It was Okul's first time on an ikran, yes they were a bit scared but the views were amazing from up here.

There was a nice spot next to the Tumbled Stones Station, it was a small clearing by the edge of a cliff, overlooking the waterfall.

Your ikran, Zaeli, landed infront of the station letting you and Okul off her then found a nice spot to lay down for the time being.

"This is beautiful y/n" Okul whispered, holding the food in one hand and the blanket in the other."Wait till you see the view" you giggled, leading them to the small clearing.

Okul's eyes widened, never had they seen such beauty before, well besides you of course. It was so peaceful here, no predators ever came around so it was safe aswell.

As Okul admired the view, you began to set up the area, laying down the blanket then taking the food out the basket. There was Sweetened Niktsyey, Cheesy Sähena, Sweet fish pie, and Relun's fruity tea.

You sat down just as Okul walked over, sitting down beside you. "So, this is a picnic?" They asked, tilting their head slightly.

Chuckling softly, you nodded "Yes, do you like it?" Okul nodded smiling "I do, thank you for allowing me to come with you."

"Of course, I knew you would love it up here" you smiled. The two of you then began to eat, Okul went for the cheesy sähena while you went for the sweet fish pie. Ri'nela had basically made everything since you were a terrible cook, but hey you were trying.

The two of you ate in comfortable silence, just listening to the sounds of pandora and the roar of the rushing waterfall that was near. It wasn't until Okul spoke that you noticed they were standing in front of you, their hand held out for you.

Looking up at them finally, you took Okul's hand standing up aswell. They led you little ways over to the cliff, sitting down with their legs dangling over the side. You sat beside them, still holding Okul's hand.

"You know y/n, the view is beautiful yes" they paused, turning their head to face you. As much as you wanted to look at them you couldn't, your face was a deep shade of purple, from your cheeks to the tips of your ears.

Okul sighed, they removed their hand from yours then pulled you onto their lap. One hand went around you to make sure you wouldn't fall while the other was placed on your cheek "But you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Finally your gaze moved to theirs, looking into Okul's eyes all you could see was the love and adoration they had for you. A small smile tugged at their lips and one of your hairless brow raised "What is that face for?" You asked. They leaned in close, their lips ghosting over your ear."I think I'm falling in love with you."

Your breath caught in your throat, did Okul really just say that? You felt as if you were dreaming at that moment. Okul must've sensed your nervousness as they leaned back "I can assure you, every word I say is the tru-"

"I think I'm already in love with you" you blurted out, cutting them off. Okul chuckled "I know, do not think I have not noticed you eyeing me from across the workshop."

Well shit, did you make it that obvious?. Okul pulled you out your thoughts, leaning in to place a soft kiss against your lips. As they were about to pull away, you pulled Okul back, smashing your lips back against theirs.

Smirking against the kiss, Okul adjusted you so that you were now straddling their lap. Your arms moved to wrap around their neck as Okul's wrapped around you, keeping you as close as possible.

The kiss was impatient and sloppy, making Okul almost forget that you both were still at the cliff. Okul had managed to stand up still holding you, and walked over to the picnic blanket laying you down on it while they hovered above you.

Breaking the kiss for much needed air, Okul trailed kisses down your jaw, to your neck, sucking and nipping at it as your soft moans filled their ears.

Still not feeling like the mark was enough, Okul nuzzled their face against your cheek then into the crook of your neck, trying to scent you as theirs. You didn't mind it though, you wanted people to know you were Okul's and that they were yours.

Now satisfied, Okul trailed kisses back to your lips, capturing them with their own. This kiss was more soft, more loving. "Oe tìyawn nga" you murmured against the kiss.

Okul's tail swayed happily behind them till wrapping itself around your calf,"Oe tìyawn nga nìteng, ma narlor 'eve" they spoke, breaking the kiss to look down at you.

One of their hands moved to cup your cheek, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. Before you could say something more, the sound of an ikran approaching sounded in the air then Anufi's voice shouted "Okul? Y/n? Where are you children?"

Panicking, Okul scrambled to get off you. "Hello?" Anufi shouted again, walking past the station till spotting the both of you. By now, Okul was sat beside you as the two of you were acting like you just finished up eating.

"Ah there you two are!" Anufi smiled "I am sorry if I'm interrupting but Okul needs to start their training if their ever going to take over when I am gone."

You frowned slightly but nodded "No it is ok, we were just finishing up anyway." Okul turned to look at you, giving an 'im sorry' look.

Anufi looked over the both of you till her eyes landed on your neck, "Child, what happened to your neck?" She asked, moving closer to crouch down beside you.

This time it was your turn to panic, "Uh it is nothing, don't worry." Anufi raised a hairless brow at you but nodded, standing back up. "Alright. Come Okul, we must get back to start your training."

Okul sighed standing up, they held out their hand helping you up aswell. Anufi watched as Okul engulfed you in a tight hug before pulling away, she was no fool. She knew what caused the mark on your neck but chose to not act like she did.

You watched as Anufi got back on her ikran with Okul sitting behind her. With one last wave, they took off back to the hollows, soon flying out of view.

#neteyamssyulang #james cameron avatar #avatar frontiers of pandora #okul avatar #okul x fem!sarentu reader #comments really appreciated #please like and reblog #followmypage

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cjlinton · 11 months

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Defining spaces, work-play separation, and avoiding TTRPG burnout.

I’ve seen a lot of folks in indie TTRPGs talk about overlapping issues and experiences around feeling burned out, not being able to keep up with new games, playing games starting to feel—or actually being—always for work rather than for fun.

I have begun to think of this issue as a game is never just a game. Not in the sense that it can’t be, but that many people working in TTRPGs in some capacity don’t allow it to be. Play has become the secondary function, because the game's primary function is no longer play, but something else. Be that a playtest, an Actual Play (AP) recording, a charity stream, content creation fodder (a review, a blog post, a video essay), a self-imposed obligation to stay on top of industry trends, etc. Because it is for work rather than play, the game is no longer play.

My firmly held litany against that is twofold:

1. Name the purpose of the game.

A playtest or AP can be fun, but you can't trick yourself into believing that that instance of play is for the sake of it. There’s a book I love called The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker. One of the key takeaways is to be deeply intentional, for yourself and for the people joining you, in defining why you have gathered together. What does this do?

It frees you from the mismatched expectations that inevitably emerge when intentions are not set. The rules and expectations for a playtest are not the same as they are for play’s sake, so get everyone on the same page.

It allows you to fully take advantage of this instance of play for its primary function. Letting go of the notion that you’re “just” playing a game lets you set expectations different from those in a space where you’re playing for play’s sake.

Whenever I playtest, be that for one hour or an intended campaign, I am extremely candid with my playtesters about what I need from them. That the expectations of the space are different than when we play together for fun.

I ran a six-hour playtest of The Prince of Nothing Good a few weekends ago. If I was just running a game for fun, I would consider that a nightmare of a game length! I would never do that to my players!

But everyone had a blast with this playtest. Because we had set aside the entire day for that purpose, and said we’d play until it was done. Everyone came in with the goal of helping me iron out some kinks in the game, and was excited to do it. And that wouldn’t have been possible without defining why we were gathering at that moment, and what we were doing to make mode of gathering work for us (dedicated time, many short breaks, blanket permission to get up from the table to meet movement/food/bio needs, I bought everyone lunch).

2. Protect your time to play for the sake of play.

I believe the quickest way to kill your enjoyment of something is by making every instance of partaking in it work.

I’m aware there are Actual Play professionals who only play games as part of their jobs and not in their personal lives. That’s great for them, if they’ve figured out how to enjoy it (or earn enough money doing so that it doesn’t matter if they do), but the overwhelming majority of people in the game industry are simply not earning “only doing it for work” money. And until you are—and for most people in games, that will be never—you need to allow yourself time to just play games.

I’ve run a weekly home game since I got into TTRPGs, and I consider that space is sacred. Some of the players help me playtest outside of that game, but that weekly meeting is just for play, not work. Dedicating time for play to just be play makes it possible for it to be other things, too.

I’ve never experienced anything consider close to the TTRPG burnout, exhaustion, and frustration that I’ve heard many people talk about. I’ve done it to myself with other things! I used to read and evaluate theatre scripts for work. I’ve read literally hundreds of plays. And there was a whole chunk of time where I was still doing that and I absolutely dreaded reading plays. A friend invited me to a play reading group during the pandemic and I had to decline because reading plays was synonymous with evaluating them for what was honestly not enough money to do it.

So I just stopped. I don’t read scripts for pay anymore, and I stopped reading them for fun too, because I was at a place of deficit where even doing it “just” for fun was not appealing. I’m only now getting to a place where I am interested in reading theatrical work again. It is much harder to get back to a place of enjoyment than it is to never depart in the first place.

#ttrpg #indie ttrpg #everyone should read the art of gathering imo

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