#privately of course though it wouldn't be difficult to see this if anyone bothered to pay attention
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silvreflamess · 2 years ago
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things you'll be hard pressed to learn about nesta from nesta so i am telling you, pt 1:
the grooming she was made to endure at the hands of her own mother to prepare her for marriage, first in the hopes of securing her family's place in society and then in saving her family from poverty
#aka phase one in the death of an openly soft-hearted nesta#her mother did everything in her power to shape nesta into ~wifey material~ at the expense of a healthy relationship with her daughter#and also at the detriment to said daughter#and as much as nesta had been taught that her only worth was what she could do for others#particularly her family but also for men (i.e. a future husband).#in some ways. there is freedom in fulfilling this sense of duty that was practically beaten into her from a very young age#if she can just save her family. if she can protect her sisters.#nesta was to be the 'breeding mare' of her family. that was what she was raised to be. in order to take care of her sisters#to save them from the fate of a loveless marriage of a cruel husband of the scorn of her parents and of society#and when she failed again and again to be successful in securing this future for all of them#she was subjected to her mother's ire. her father's disdain. her sisters' unspoken disappointment.#the last thing her mother said to her before she died was that she was born wrong.#that she was a waste.#and then every person she met after that said essentially the same thing in one way or another#and i think that this is the exact way that nesta views herself#privately of course though it wouldn't be difficult to see this if anyone bothered to pay attention#and even though she is no longer shackled to the human's way of life and those societal expectations attached to it#she still upholds the expectation that she must be the one who sacrifices in order to keep her sisters safe#that's why she hated rh.ysand [disgust]. because he took away f.eyre's choice which meant that nesta didn't keep her sister safe#she was made fae and humans hate fae and there was no chance she could save her family#i have a lot to say about the misogyny that is rampant in this stupid series but it's also deeply connected to who nesta is as a person#why she is the way she is#and how i will use it to unwrap her. to see her through her healing process.#desperately desperately itching for an emerie. for a gwyn. perhaps i will drabble some things to make up for it#they are so integral to nesta's growth and healing#a sisterhood that chose her and that she chose#one that she can love right because she never could with her blood sisters#emerie and gwyn love nesta so much just the way she is and i love them too for it!!!!!!!!!!
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izgnanik-a · 6 months ago
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Suffer Does The Wolf (Crawling To Thee) iv
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Summary: Simon knew the exact moment when he knew he had to have you for himself. It was only a matter of time before his military skills allowed himself into your home, into your life. And once he stuck — he wasn’t going to let you back out of his webs.
Tags: non-con, stalker!Ghost, fem reader, mature content
MINORS DNI
previous part ⬅️ next part ➡️
Simon was so impatient to go out with you, he didn't even go home. He waited outside of the restaurant until his phone gave a chirp with your messages that you were heading out of work then.
Of course he knew. He'd done nothing for the past few hours but watch you through the front window pace back and forth behind the counter, only vanishing for your break, and returning right back.
He was vibrating with energy when he pulled his phone to reply. " ok. outside. " He looked down at himself in the reflection of the car in front of him. He had nothing to fix.
He was wearing his hoodie and a jacket over it, jeans, and his cloth mask instead of his balaclava.
He had kept his balaclavas tucked away since coming back from duty, strictly kept to his half masks instead. Though the straps around his ears were a constant reminder that he was concealing his face from you, it didn't appear to bother you.
He could be ugly for all you knew. And you still wanted to go out and have a drink with him.
All his thoughts went away when he saw you waving your coworkers goodbye and heading for the door. His heart trembling in his chest as you caught his eyes and immediately smiled at him.
You approached with a sigh. "You been waiting on me this whole time?" You asked.
Simon hesitated to speak.
You nudged him, "I'm only joking. That'd be stupid." You laughed.
He tried his best to keep his nervousness under control. He was a lieutenant for fuck's sake. And you managed to make the grown man tremble.
"Did you eat yet?" You asked.
"No."
"Good, because I wouldn't want you to miss out on the food at this place. It's right around the corner. You don't mind the walk, do you?" You asked.
Simon shook his head.
"Let's go then." You tipped your head in it's direction, and began moving side by side down the road.
Simon kept to your side, closest to the road, scanning the street as if there would be a threat that could take you out.
"You don't talk much, do you?"
"Does that bother you?"
"Not really. Just makes me wonder what goes on in your head sometimes." You smiled up at him.
He stared ahead. "Plenty."
"Do indulge."
Here you were, this sunshine-y thing, and all he could think of doing was smothering you up against the nearest wall until all you could make out were desperate sobs of pleasure. He tried to divert his attention to something less vicious.
"How was your day at work?" He asked.
You blew a heavy breath between your lips. "Where do I even start? We started off the day with one register working. Not only did that make it difficult to take orders between drive thru and the counter, it slowed us down a lot."
"Does it happen often?"
"Only recently. But they plan on sending someone tomorrow morning to fix it. Or hopefully fix it."
Simon hummed.
"Also, thank you for saying something to the customer earlier."
"He was being a prick."
"I wish I could say those things to them without worrying about losing my job." You scoffed. "It happens a lot more than you think."
That comment made his blood boil. How could anyone be so ignorant and vile to you? You were sweet and beautiful and so soft. He wanted to find that prissy bastard and ring his neck now, even if he was just one customer among the many bad ones. It'd be a start.
"What do you do for work?" You asked him.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Private contractor."
"Really? What kind of work does a private contractor do?" You teased.
"Private things."
You hummed. "I see. I guess I won't pry then."
Simon gazed down at you and your sultry glance, and he was fighting his inner demons hard to keep from wrapping an arm around you and just taking you home.
"This is the place right here." You gestured to the flashing lights in the window reading ' open ' and ' bar '.
Simon was quick to grab the door and open it for you before you could touch it.
You tipped your head. "Why thank you." You smirked as you stepped in and he followed closely.
He lingered close. Your coat under your arm brushed against his belly, and he could smell the faint hints of coffee beans lingering in your uniform. It was masked with the smell of sweets; chocolates, coconut, and caramel. He wanted to press his nose into the back of your neck.
"Let's get a seat at the bar." You looked over your shoulder at him, and he nodded dumbly.
He followed willingly, sat down in a bar stool that was too small for him to be comfortable on. But his arm brushed up against yours, and every time you'd look at him, the contact only became warmer.
"I highly recommend the beers they have on draft."
"You come to this place often?" He asked.
"I used to. But I don't really have time anymore to enjoy things outside of work, you know?"
He gazed into the side of your face longingly. He did know how hard it was to separate himself from his work, finding it harder to be Simon Riley and Ghost separately. He felt like he was always the blood thirsty animal, just without a battlefield.
"I'm rambling."
"I don't care."
"But it's boring."
"I don't think so."
You stared at him, and he watched your eyes flicker down at his half mask. "Do you always wear that? I'm sure that's a question you get often."
"Always."
"To the mask or the question?"
"Both."
You hummed, smiling at the menu before speaking again. "I guess having a drink is out of the question then."
And he felt compelled to rip off the mask for you. Take off his hoodie. Just lay absolutely beneath your feet, whatever you wanted him to do.
"Does it have to do with your private contracting job?" You questioned.
"Why do you want to see my face so badly?"
You shrugged. "Just curious."
He scoffed.
"I like the mask." You said, looking to the bartender as they approached. "Makes you look scary, so no weirdos can approach me."
"It doesn't scare you?"
You met his eyes with a smirk. "You'd have to do a whole lot more than wear a mask to scare me, Simon."
You ate and drank more than he had expected you to. You were comfortable enough to keep the contact between your arms touching his. You were too comfortable.
He paid the tab and you were walking, practically stumbling, out of the restaurant door with Simon in tow.
"I feel amazing." You hummed, looking over towards Simon. The motion made you sway.
He grabbed your arm before you could tumble backwards. "You're drunk."
"No, you're drunk." You laughed, leaning into his side with a hand on his sternum. "You're so handsome and nice."
"You haven't even seen my face."
"I don't have to. It's in your eyes." You gazed up at him. "They're so pretty."
Simon's heart thumped under your palm. He was burning up. Too overwhelmed with your body on his, too horny to think anything but to pick you up right now. It wasn't right, but it's all he could think to do.
"You should call a cab to head home." He insisted, using his only grasp of sanity to get you home safe. If he brought you home, he'd be tempted to walk you the whole way in and never leave.
"I want to stay with you a little longer." Your hand on his sternum slid down to his belly, wrapping around his side, and around his back. Your entire body pressed to his. "You're so nice to me."
And to top it off, you pressed your cheek onto his collar and shut your eyes.
Simon shut his eyes tightly, throwing his head up to the night sky in agony. You were a gift in disguise, laid up perfectly in his arms. He brought his shaking hand to the back of your neck, gently stroking your hair down until he cupped the back of your head. His fingers tangled in the softness of your hair, and he could feel you sink further into him.
He pressed his cheek into the side of your face, as gently as he could — he inhaled through the fabric of his mask just to take in the smell of your hair.
And god did it make him hard.
“I’m gonna fall asleep.” You hummed into his chest before lifting your head, breaking the spell he was under. “I need to go home.” You pouted.
He removed his hand from your hair and let go of your arm. “Are you going to make it home alright?”
You smiled, soft warmth radiating from you again. “Worried someone will come and snatch me up?”
Yes, actually. He was. He’d kill someone with his bare hands if they thought they could take what was his.
You reached out to grasp his forearm before brushing your lips to his clothed cheek. You kissed the fabric softly before returning to the soles of your feet again. “I really enjoyed tonight. I like you.”
Simon tracked your movement with his eyes as you stepped back. “I can take you home. If you want me to.” He stepped close to you again, until his chest touched yours.
You pressed your palm to his belly, keeping a sliver of space between your bodies. “Nice try.” You patted his belly before stepping back. “I’ll text you when I get home.”
Simon watched you step away from him. He grit his teeth as he watched you go, and stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. He did his best to squeeze his cock in his pants, but nothing would deflate him. Not until he could wrap his hand around himself, thinking of how delicious and delicate you were tonight.
How you wrapped your arm around his waist, pressing your face into his chest, and sunk into his touch. He wanted to feel your hair between his fingers again, feel your warmth and solid form against his body, under him, over him.
He followed you in shadow until a car came to pick you up and bring you home. But he’d be sure to make it habit to take you wherever you wanted from then on.
Do not copy my works and post elsewhere.
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icantthinkyandere · 8 months ago
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Hello! I hope that you are doing well. Can i request some hcs for a yandere draco (fgo), koyanskaya and proto merlin, please? If not please feel free to ignore this
I'm trying not to have spoilers, and I don't think I can do Draco since she's a JP locked servant. So, I'll be adding that to the rules since I lack knowledge of them. I'm not counting Lady Avalon since she's Proto Merlin and doesn't have a lot of differences from what I know.
{Yandere Koyanskaya}
Good job, you made everything 100 times worse by... somehow, catching her eye.
She is probably one of the worst yanderes to have in all of FGO. Whether you're the master of Chaldea or just a worker, she will make every Lostbelt she is in hell for everyone. Her main quest won't stop, of course. You're just a nice bonus for her.
She doesn't want anyone to know her attraction to you, of course. In the beginning, she barely believes she has feelings. During Anastasia, she thinks it's just hate for humans, that she wants you dead more than others. But every time she thought about her plan, she noticed that it kept changing to keep them alive.
They plans in question are not the best out comes for them. All of them make you more of a lap pet than actually a person. If more like when she does succeed and kidnap them from Chaldea, you won't see her a lot. She does care a lot and will baby you when she is around, but her mission is just as important to her. So, having her new beloved in a place she can control keeps her mind at ease.
There are two differences to this, the first being if you're just an employee or the master of Chaldea. If they're just an employee, she honestly won't believe Chaldea would bother saving you. Assuming that they would believe they're just dead since it's not like you'd be a useful hostage. This would make them easier to get since she has few expectations for anyone trying to help, as well her as keeping a lighter hold on you. [It's not that light, but still.]
If they're the master however, you're kept locked in a way it's hard for her to even get to you. She knows full well the moment she kidnapped them, Chaldea started making a plan to get them back. It makes her so paranoid that she'll get frustrated at how much she has to balance now. She doesn't regret it, though, and she's still confident she can take care of anything thrown at her.
{Yandere Proto Merlin/Lady Avalon}
Neither she nor anyone else knows when her feelings started, but a plan to get into a relationship was in motion the moment she was summoned. Being a yandere is very easy for Lady Avalon. Most people believe that she's just joking around and her attraction won't last long.
She uses her position as a powerful mage as a reason to get them alone under the idea of training. She doesn't immediately make these lesson secret surprise dates. They start as actual lesson that are very useful even with how challenging they can be. Slowly but surely, the learning part does fade out. With breaks becoming longer, whatever she's teaching is becoming both easier and less useful.
Once these lessons start shifting, they pretty much just become private hang out time. A big part of her plan is isolation and gaslighting. Why wouldn't others leave you two alone? She's giving you life or death lessons, missions keep getting more difficult, and those you go up against have many different abilities and strategies that can ruin everything if you're not ready.
You can't complain either. Weren't you the one who complained about how difficult and confusing her lessons were? She's giving you easier ones and longer break times because you asked her to. She's cares about your mental and physical health and is trying to tailor her lessons to you! Being a teacher is just as hard as being a student.
Since her past lesson took a lot of time, it was required to tell other servants that they just don't have the time at the moment to hang out. This had to happen so often that a lot of servants just stopped asking.
For those who didn't back off, she went to Da Vinci to ask her to tell others how important this was. And if they didn't work, she's given long and tiring lectures about how these are necessary and whatever else comes to mind until they agree out to make her stop.
No one's really aware that the lessons stopped weeks ago. They're private and important, needing everyone to not be near the training room or the master's bedroom. She wishes that the dates weren't just limited to holograms in the training room or long movie nights with the occasional rayshift. But it's better than nothing, either this or others butting into the relationship. Slow and steady wins the race after all, and she's already won.
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syndromealice-blog · 4 years ago
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Why Lily was a bad friend
I always read something like: Lily was a good girl, the best friend, but Snape was a Death Eater and he was obsessed.
I didn’t notice her like a character at all, she was more a neutral to me, because everyone said, that she was so good and so beautiful and so awesome. She was Harry’s mother and I understood that she is an important for Harry and to some people. But then I read The prince’s tale. Oh, well. How can I start? The first thing, that I didn’t like: she used Severus even they were a children. He told everything about Hogwarts and Wizarding World. I think that was a reason why she wanted to be his “friend”. Lily lived with her sister, who hated her and when Lily realized that she is a witch, she was happy, because now Lily has some privileges.
When Lily came to Hogwarts Express, there was a scene:
"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you."
Petunia turned scarlet.
"Beg? I didn't beg!"
"I saw his reply. It was very kind."
"You shouldn't have read " whispered Petunia, "that was my private ¨how could you ?"
Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Snape stood nearby. Petunia gasped.
"That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!"
"No" Now Lily was on the defensive. "Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn't believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all!
Okay, now it seems, like she actually defense Severus, but no. She said, that Severus did that. Severus saw, Severus found... why? She defense herself, not Severus. I had the same situation in childhood and I defended my friend and said it was my fault. Lily literally enjoyed this moment, when she can show to her sister who is a muggle and who is a witch.
Then in Hogwarts:
"...thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape was saying, "Best friends?"
"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"
Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.
"That was nothing," said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all"
"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny "
Yeah, Lily, it was a dark magic, but why you wasn’t terrifying, what James and Sirius did to your “best friend”? Or you are so good and so kind only to rich boys? Or maybe you just didn’t care.
Severus asked a logical question:
"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Snape. His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.
"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily.
Oh, my God. Of course, you don’t know.
"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"
"He's ill," said Lily. "They say he's ill "
"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape.
"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"
He is obsessed? No, Lily, you are obsessed with defense. They bullied him all years in Hogwarts. Of course Severus hate them, it’s a normal reaction. I know, people can say, that Lily was a child, but when I was a fifteen years old, I wasn’t so stupid.
"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."
The intensity of his gaze made her blush.
"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there.
“LILY, THEY TRIED TO KILL ME DOWN THERE”
They don’t use Dark Magic though
“LILY THIS MAN ON THE STREET TRYING TO RAPE A BABY”
He don’t use Dark Magic though
"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."
A boy, who bully others not a bad, he is just a toerag. Mmmmmnmmmm
Then was a mudblood scene. She literally smiled, she didn’t help, she said: LeAvE hIm aLoNe. What? If my friend was hung upside down, I certainly wouldn't say leave him alone. I would curse the bully properly and go straight to the headmaster or at least to the teacher. Why Lily didn’t go to the headmaster or to the teachers earlier? She just didn’t care about Severus at all. Because I can’t explain, why fifteen years old girl, who sees every day, that James Potter bully her “best friend” and she does nothing. Then Severus called her a mudblood. I have one theory and I believe that’s a canon. Levicorpus was Severus’s spell. He created it. And why Lily had a successes in potions? I am sure, that Severus gave own book to her and she saw all spells. Levicorpus is non-verbal spell and no one can learn it just by hearing. So, Lily gave book to James. He read this spell and used it. If this is true (at least it seems logical), so Lily is a fucking piece of shit. She gave best friend’s book where were a hints to his bully.
Then Lily was angry and said:
Fine,' she said coolly. 'I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.'
Later, when Severus try to apologize, she said:
To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
Yeah, girl. Like YOU, rich and beautiful human, said to poor, ugly friend wash your pants. It was a classism.
"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends ¨ you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
Okay, if you already saw that he is so bad and awful, why you continued this “friendship” Why? Nobody actually forced you. Why? If he wasn’t good enough, just say: Sorry, but I think, I don’t want to be your friend anymore. That’s it. You literally can do this.
Three years later Lily was married with James, who was “ an arrogant toerag”. Hmmm, okay. Sirius and Remus said, that James didn’t bully anyone but Severus. Lily didn’t know about it. Sorry, I don’t believe.
Results:
Lily didn’t care about Severus and their “friendship”. She gaslighted him all the time. She saw how difficult was his childhood, she saw his abusive father and their life before school. She didn’t help when James bullied him. And no, saying LEAVE HIM ALONE is not a help. If she wanted to help, she did it. Lily used Severus in Potions, before school, when he told everything about Wizarding World and then she gave his book to his bully. She is not a friend. She is just a girl, who wanted something from Severus. And yes, everyone say: IT’S NOT HER JOB, HE BECAME TO A DEATH EATER AND USED DARK MAGIC. She knew that all the time. If this was a problem, she could leave. If she was terrified about death eaters shit, she could talk with him. She knew how difficult life he has. It’s not her job, that’s right. Or maybe she is just a shitty friend?
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13eyond13 · 4 years ago
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I'll try to keep it short because you're very kind but I'm becoming annoying... I actually like Soichiro. It's his morals I cannot stand. In fact, in line with his, I like Matsuda's and even Light's variations more, even with all the darkness they entail, because they're more critical. I adore L and find him relatable, but I'm not so sure if I'd like him as a person in real life, and yet I again like his morals more than Soichiro's. I still think Soichiro is generally a better person than any of the others. I still dislike his morals the most. When I say at the opposite end of Soichiro in the moral spectrum is where Near stands I'm not talking just about my personal liking, but as I interpret their views on morality. Maybe there's some detail of the manga I'm forgetting (I truly have to reread it), but Soichiro didn't seem very critical about... anything, while Near states something like "even if god came and told me this is good and this is bad and this is The Truth I'd still consider and come to my own conclusion". I like that. I care less about someone getting a moral with what I may consider a degree of grey if they do that. I myself have very strong morals that nonetheless have degrees of grey; strong doesn't mean pure. My grey and someone else's grey might be very different. But I've developed them, not accepted them blindly. Near of course, Mello, L, and even Light and Matsuda do this, but Soichiro generally doesn't. And I dislike that greatly. In fact, I think I'd find him kind in real life, and likeable, but I'd not really like him because I can't really bring myself to like someone like that even when they're kind and compassionate and good. I'm already talking more than I intended but I'll try to point out what bothers me of his attitude.
Soichiro is very very anti Kira, but he's working for a government with the death penalty and he doesn't seem to consider that even for a moment. For him, that the government does it is justifiable but monstrous if a person does it. He doesn't really have a justification, it's just like that because it's as it is. He's very against L's methods, buy L uses people who were going to die anyway at the very moment he uses them either way because of the death penalty, because of the government. From a government pov, if the government were to do what L does, it'd be something terrible. From an individual pov? Not so much. It's ugly, but it's beyond himself whether that people die or not, and his decisions are easily justifiable from an individual pov: they're going to die irrevocably, that very day at that very time, and he is using what he can to solve a very complicated case that is taking many lives, and he even might use the moral support of "I'm giving the prisoners the chance of choosing, with the potential reward of lifelong imprisonment instead of death". And again, while a government doing that is terrible, it's not as terrible for a person. L is a private detective, an individual. People can be fallible. Governments shouldn't. What L does might be justifiable, if ugly, for a person, but it would be unforgivable for the government to do. But the government lies on L and it's L who takes the slander of the rest of the Task Force. And that's what Soichiro doesn't see, and that's what bugs me. Soichiro sides with the government and the laws no matter what, no matter if they're terrible and are actually the cause if indirectly of the terrible things L is able to do (I'd have to reread to be completely comfortable affirming this, but Soichiro's attitude towards the government reminds me a bit of Mikami and Misa to some extent).
Soichiro hates Kira, and hates and criticises L's methods and his ruthlessness, but doesn't even consider for one moment the problem is not L. The problem is not the 24 yo boy/man, the problem is his government, that has the dead penalty and actually let's a private detective carry on with the investigation and do as he pleases (and I'm not even taking into consideration how L's upbringing and the lowkey if fun exploitation he was subrmited to have most probably influenced if not determined the way he acts in these cases, because while it's intriguing it'd feel like justifying L out of pity, and either way Soichiro doesn't know that; but I mention this because L's entire past at Wammy's, like the other children's, is another very terrible move from governments and adults in responsibility positions). The problem is Interpol, the governments in general, blatantly saying L is ruthless but not even setting rules when working with him. And I think it would actually have been very easy to stop L doing those things. Just change the rules of the game, tell him beforehand there are a few things he can't do. It's a game after all. Of course L would still exploit the moral and legal vacuums of the rules as he pleased, as one does when playing anything, but the government wouldn't have given him totally free way.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well. Years ago in a class I talked about the difference between personal vengeance and the death penalty. I feel this is similar. A person is fallible. A government should be able to stand over licit murder. L manipulating people to prove a point is ugly. A government doing that or letting someone free way to do whatever is terrible. L does whatever, and as an individual is not so horrible as it is that the governments internationally actually let him do whatever even knowing beforehand without setting rules. Soichiro sees this and it doesn't even cross his mind for a moment to criticise the government he's working with. Also, he considers his morals the best, which makes sense in a first person pov (why support x morals if you don't think they're the best? I'm not critisising this), but he's very... imposing about them, while as I say not being precisely the most critical thinker. That Soichiro is like this, morally (I'm not even talking about the policeman aspect though that's so often talked about in the fandom), makes a lot of sense to how Light ends up being Kira, and with how Matsuda thinks and acts. And I find that very intriguing, but I can't stand Soichiro's simplistic morals and his better-than-you attitude even though he's a generally good person. That's why I dislike his morals the most (of course you don't have to agree!). I don't stand by Near's morals either, but I like his "god could come and tell me and still I'd doubt" attitude. It's what makes gods mad in basically every mythology, but I love that kind of thought process. I'm very much like that too.
I'm so sorry this is so long. I tried to cut, but I got the impression it'd make it even less clear or more difficult to understand. Or maybe the lack of clarity lies precisely on how repetitive and long this is. I'd like to think English not being my first language has to do with this, but honestly the problem is most probably just me. I hope I made the point understandable enough, though. And thanks for your patience. I really liked that post of Near someone sent as an opinion and how you replied! Very interesting takes on both ends.
Hi again! You have some very thought-provoking points about it all, and don't worry, your English is excellent.
I loved Near's stance about these things as well, and that's something that really bothered me when growing up about some authority figures and institutions being really totalitarian and silencing of doubts or stances they deemed too negative or incorrect to voice aloud. I value having freedom of choice and the ability to think critically about everything immensely. Maybe it's because I went to a very strict and sheltering and weird little school as a child that tried very hard to indoctrinate me with a specific worldview, and always shamed and silenced anyone who disagreed or questioned them or felt like an outsider or wanted to have a different point of view. I remember relating the most to Matsuda on the task force when I first watched the show as a teen, because he was always speaking up with his devil's advocate questions or confusions. The way Soichiro and the others usually yell and scold and shame him for this bothered me a lot, because I wanted them to discuss things openly so I could see all the different sides of the arguments more clearly. Actually, I think this is a pretty culturally similar thing between Japan and Canada (where I am from). There's a strong emphasis on doing what's best for the entire group instead of just yourself, and being too controversial or outspoken or individualistic about certain things is often taboo and frowned upon as a big social faux pas. It's possibly quite a bit stronger pressure toward obedience and conformity and politeness in Japan in certain ways as well, but I don't know for sure as I haven't lived there myself.
I think Soichiro had a bit of nuance and flexibility with his morals and his stances in various instances throughout the plot, and to me he seemingly tries hard to see things from other angles during complicated moments in what must be one of the most difficult situations he could possibly face as both a police chief and a parent. But it's true he never seemed to doubt that upholding the laws already in place and the way his government punishes the convicted were the "correct" ways society should function. I think this series would be a really interesting one to discuss in a class that talks about stuff like justice and the death penalty and law and ethics and such for how many of these things it touches on in an entertaining and thought-provoking way!
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xxkellsvixen19xx · 4 years ago
Text
Spotlight: Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Ch 4
Word Count: 4,140
Colson had temporarily moved Y/N's Mom to his house in Cleveland. He was staying in New York because he had some business to take care of. He told Y/N that he would send for her on Friday morning because they had to attend a charity dinner together later that day. Melissa would have to take her shopping as usual and she was looking forward to it. Afterwards she would be meeting up with Liv and Lisa for lunch.
"So tell me about this thing you have with Colson?" Mrs Y/M/L/N patted the seat beside her and Y/N sat down.
"It's nothing Mom. I'm just helping him out." Y/N said eyeing her shoes.
"Is that all?" She pressed gently.
"I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you? Can we not do this? It's awkward. " Y/N frowned. They never had an open relationship where they could talk about everything and anything. She only had that kind of relationship with her Dad-but he was gone.
"Look Mom, I know you're trying but I need more time..but just know that Colson and I are not together. We have a great friendship and I don't expect anything more."
"But you like him or he likes you?" She squeezed Y/N's hand.
"Yes-no-look I don't know." She sighed as she stood up.
"Just be careful honey. Don't get your hopes up. Don't get me wrong-" She raised her hands, "I'm just concerned okay? Guys like Colson.."
"I know, I know." She mumbled. "You don't need to say it."
Jax came and stood at the door, interrupting the conversation.
"Good morning, Miss and Mrs Y/L/N." He bowed slightly.
"Hi Jax." Y/N smiled at him.
"Listen honey, I had forgotten that I have to attend a conference this weekend. I will be leaving tomorrow, so can we talk some more before I leave?" She asked, hopeful.
"I'll be waiting in the car." Jax announced and left them alone.
"Yeah, sure. Maybe when I get back okay? I'll probably be gone when you get back anyway." They embraced and Y/N left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Slim, get in here." Colson said over the intercom. He was in his New York office and trying to think of ways to spend more time with Y/N, without being too obvious.
"Hey Col! What's up man?" Slim bounced into the office and threw himself on the corner coach.
"Are you and Kinky free tonight?" Colson asked as he typed something on his iMac.
"Yeah, Sommer and I have plans..why? Wanna join in? Tired of being a pro-golfer whenever you sleep with Bambi? " He cackled as he smacked his knee.
"There's more to relationships than sex dude." Colson scoffed, still staring at the computer screen.
"Ahhh..so you're admitting that you're in a relationship are you??" He nodded slowly.
"Shut up." Colson responded.
"You're too uptight this morning..maybe you need a hit?" Slim dug his hand in his pocket and produced a tiny vile of cocaine to Colson that he had tried to stay away from for five straight days now. He looked away and felt his resolve slipping away.
"C'mon..you know you wanna." Slim coaxed him as he dangled it in front of Colson's face.
"Set it up while I lock the door." Colson said, as he sighed in defeat. He convinced himself that this would be the last time. After this he wouldn't go anywhere near drugs-including his sleeping pills. Besides it wasn't going to hurt anyone..was it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colson woke up and found himself on the floor in his office. Slim was passed out a few feet away from him. He didn't remember how he got there though. There was a soft, incessant tap on his door and his body felt so heavy, he could barely lift his head. The knock continued and it became rather irritating.
"Go away!" He groaned with the little energy he could muster.
"Colson, it's Byron here. We had a meeting with that film producer remember?? A verry important meeting. We need to leave now or we won't be able to make it." Silence.
"Colson?" Byron sighed and shook his head as he walked away from the door.
He knew that he had to try and re-schedule. Whenever Colson and Slim got together they got high. Byron had been standing knocking at the door for more than an hour. Unfortunately Colson's office was sound proof and there were no glass walls or windows to peer through. Numerous times Byron had tried to get them to counselling or rehab but they always brushed him off. It was all in the name of fun they assured him but this was becoming a problem that would affect Colson's career. He had already been arrested and he was still trying to do damage control. This couldn't go on, it had to stop.
"Y/N, Byron here. Hope you're good." He smiled into the phone. "Sorry to drop this on you but-I need you to come to New York earlier than planned-like today."
Colson dragged himself off the floor and staggered towards the bathroom. The drugs were wearing off but he was feeling the after effects now. The coke was much stronger than before, he was totally knocked out. A cold shower usually sobered him up a bit and he needed to pull himself together. He had a stool in his shower for such instances and he pushed it against the wall then fell onto it as he opened the cold water tap to maximum. He stripped his soaking clothes off as he began to feel better, then he adjusted the water to luke-warm.
"Why? Why? Why?" He screamed at himself as he pulled on his hair.
The guilt came at him like a flood and it brought along its cousins. Tears coursed down his face and mingled with the water and he let them flow. Why couldn't he stop? He wanted to but he just couldn't bring himself to break the addiction, especially when he was surrounded by it. It seemed like everyone in the entertainment industry was hooked on drugs, sex and alcohol. It was proving to be difficult to stop altogether because he had no other means of escape. At least when he was high he could forget-even for a short moment-he could slip into oblivion and escape from it all; the pressure, the high expectations, the fake people that constantly surrounded him.
Although he always had people around him he always felt so alone. Nobody loved him. His grandparents were senile and didn't remember who he was half the time. So he was totally alone in this world. Everyone just wanted a piece of him for selfish reasons. No one showed any genuine interest in him without a hidden motive. Well, until Y/N..
He smiled as he thought about her while he dried his hair. His heart swelled and his stomach muscles constricted. He missed her dearly, more than he cared to admit. Maybe he would send for her earlier than planned or he would fly to Cleveland and fetch her himself. Yes, that's exactly what he would do he thought with a renewed purpose. He walked into his closet and got dressed quickly and went to check on Slim.
Slim was still passed out on the floor and it was beginning to bother Colson. He bent over him and shook him but he didn't budge. What was even more worrying is that that he was frothing at the mouth and his nose was bleeding.
"Byron! Get here now!" Colson shouted into his cellphone. He unlocked the door and waited anxiously for Byron to come.
"I'm here. What's-" He froze as he took in the sight in front of him. "We need to get him to the hospital. Get out of here, I'll handle this." He locked the office door again.
"But I can't just leave-" Colson protested.
"Go! You know the drill Colson. You can't be seen here okay just leave through the secret passageway. Now!" He pushed Colson towards the private exit point. "I'll call you." He said before closing the door.
Colson made a run for it and found a car waiting for him.
"Bro, please take me to the hanger I need to fly to Cleveland as soon as possible. Call the pilot and ask him to get clearance or whatever." He instructed the driver.
"Sure thing Colson." The driver replied.
He bounced his knee and bit on his nails, something he always did when he was super-stressed. What if Slim didn't make it? How would he live with himself? He promised himself that if Slim survived then he would never-
"Yes." He snapped as he answered the phone.
"It's handled. Slim has been taken to a private hospital so he's in good hands." Byron said calmly.
"Great." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Listen we'll have to meet in Norway-I'm going to Cleveland. Can you check if the jet is cleared?" Colson gripped the phone until his knuckles turned white.
"Yes. I had it done earlier, had a feeling you might want to go." Byron said. His instincts were right after all.
"Thanks..for everything." Colson said.
*******************************************
"Hey."
"Colson?" Y/N tucked the phone between her ear and her shoulder. Liv and Lisa squealed in delight. She had met them for lunch.
"Guess what? I'm in Cleveland!" He said trying to sound dramatic.
"Oh..I thought I was supposed to come there this evening?" She put down her cutlery and held her phone.
"Yeah, but there was a slight change of plans..You don't want to see me?"
"No, of course I do. I-I'm glad to know-that you're here?" She said flustered. Her appetite was long gone by now and she grabbed a glass of wine and gulped it down. Did he fly all the way down here especially for her or he was here for another reason? Lisa and Liv had stopped eating and they were staring at her.
"You're still there sweets?" He asked.
"Yeah..so where are you?"
"I just jetted in. Was hopping I could join you for lunch?" He pressed gently.
"Yeah of course..I-we're at The Capital Grille on Superior Avenue. I'm sure you can find it?" She replied, avoiding looking at her friends. Their faces lit up with excitement at they shamelessly listened in to the conversation.
"See you in a bit sweets."
"Hold the phone! He's coming here isn't he?" Liv exclaimed, not knowing what to do with herself.
"Yes. You do know that it's rude to listen in to someone else's conversation?" Y/N said as she gulped down a glass of water.
"So should we go? Should we stay?" Lisa added, her eyes shining.
"Let's go to the bathroom and regroup shall we?" Liv suggested. "Besides your face needs a bit of work babe. You look like you were running a marathon." She threw her napkin on the table and held out her hand to Y/N as they stood up.
"I'll stay." Lisa offered. "Just in case-you know?"She shrugged and tossed her hair back.
"You know this isn't necessary." Y/N protested as Liv powdered her face. "He has seen me without make-up and probably knows what my morning breath smells like..so.."
"Overshare alert." Liv rolled her eyes. "He must really like you, you know?"
"What makes you think that?" Y/N frowned at her reflection in the mirror.
"Well..you've slept in the same bed on many occasions and he didn't try to take things further. I mean who does that? He's Colson Baker! He could have had you just by blinking in your direction but he hasn't." She observed.
"I know right? But what if it's an angle? All part of his game?" She voiced her thoughts.
"Sweetheart, this is Colson-freakin-Baker. what could he possibly gain from having sex with a college student? If I was in your shoes I would have been all over that hot bod! You're wasting a perfectly good dish.. Just let me at him!" Liv clawed the air and they burst into laughter.
They had just settled at the table when Y/N's phone rang again.
"Hey sweets. I'm parked outside. I can't come in because I don't have any guards with me and I don't want to cause a commotion. So do you and your friends mind if we go some where else?"
"Okay sure." Y/N said.
"Great. I'll pick you up at the front entrance." He replied.
"Hey, listen..Colson wants us to meet him out front like now-so let's go." Y/N stood and hurried her friends along.
Colson pulled up in his black matte Aston Martin DB11, looking hotter than the sun. He was dressed in full white, shorts and a white v-neck t-shirt and completed the look with his Ray Ban police sunglasses, his hair messier than usual because the drop-top was down. They all jumped in with squeals of delight from Liv and Lisa.
"Oh my days!! I'm in Colson Baker's car!" Lisa kept saying over and over again. She sounded like a scratched record.
"Careful there, you might just inspire me to write a new song." Colson laughed.
"Hi! By the way I'm Lisa and this is Liv. Oh my days! I still can't believe I'm-Ahhh!" Lisa screamed like a typical groupie. Liv just sat with her hands on her head chanting "Oh my gosh." repeatedly.
"Interesting friends you got there Bambi." He stole a glance as he fixed his eyes back on the road. Gosh, he had missed her. " You miss me much? Or I didn't stay away long enough??" Colson threw a smile at Y/N.
"You should have stayed away a little longer Baker." She smiled at him. She had missed him but she was never going to tell him that. Her heart was racing just by being so close to him and her stomach was in knots. She had it bad. This was more than a crush.
"Aww you two are so sweet!" Lisa gushed.
"I know right?" Colson winked at Y/N.
"So where to?" Y/N asked.
"We are going to leave your friends at the mall to do a bit of shopping on me of course- because-they will be coming to spend the weekend with us in New York." Lisa and Liv let out loud screams and it was difficult to contain them after that. They started talking in excited whispers at the back.
"And then we are going to spend some QT alone..seeing as you my bae and all that." He squeezed her hand. He played it down. He really wanted-no he needed to be alone with Y/N right now. She had this calming effect on him and he needed that right now. He just wanted to enjoy this time with her and just forget about everything and everyone else.
"Oh, sounds good." She said. Did he really want to spend time alone with her or it was just to appease the media? Either way she didn't mind the logic behind it, she would milk it for everything it was worth.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought the press would be curious as to why we hardly make public appearances." He lied but it caused untold damage to Y/N's heart.
"Yeah. I understand." She said with a smug smile.
"But don't get me wrong I don't mind. In case you didn't notice, I kinda enjoy your company sweets." He lifted their joined hands and kissed hers.
"Did you see that?!!" Liv exclaimed to Lisa as she pointed to the front..
"You ain't seen nothing yet babe." Colson chuckled as he turned up the music.
*********************************************
Colson drove his car into an estate located within a forest and by a lakeside. It was a private wooded lot with it's very own well maintained pond. The house was stunning, a two-story home which stretched for miles and a serene lake shore which was sure to take your breath away.
"In case you're wondering..this is my childhood home. No one lives here besides the hired help of course." He said as he pulled into the garage and turned of the ignition. "I usually come here to de-stress. Thought you might like it. Let's go inside." He held the door open for Y/N and she stepped out.
"It's beautiful." She sighed. "So is this like your happy place?" She asked, her face full of mischief.
"Bambi-you are my happy place." He turned and held her face.
"Oh." Her cheeks reddened.
"You look so cute when you blush" He laughed softly. Come on, there's something that I need to show you." He tugged her hand and led her to the back of the house. They came to the top of a hill and just at the bottom was an encased tree house. The only way to get there was by sliding through a tunnel.
"Baker are you a fan of Alice in Wonderland?" Y/N grinned at him.
"Not me but my Mom was. We would sit here together for hours you know. Reading, playing board games or we would have a picnic. Actually..she kind of inspired my plans today." He pulled her towards the tunnel and he slid through and she did the same.
"So how do we get out of here?" She looked around, confused.
"Aahhh..You will just have to wait and see." He said in a mysterious voice as he gently tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. "Welcome to my magical world." They stepped inside and she twirled around, taking everything in. This tree house was way too fancy to be called that. It was more like a luxurious cabin in the woods. There was a plush Persian rug on the floor and a worn L-shaped brown leather couch, with a large wall-mounted flat screen TV, a small bathroom and open-plan kitchen. There was a separate door that led to the bedroom which contained a comfortable queen-size bed.
"FYI..this is not a tree-house." Y/N said and Colson laughed.
"Go big or go home right?" He threw himself on the couch and switched on the TV.
"So are we going to sit around and watch TV all day?" Y/N asked as she sat next to him.
"And what would you rather we do sweets?" The look he gave her made her blush because it clearly stated his intentions.
"I would rather-explore." She blurted out and her hands flew to her mouth.
"You walked straight into that one didn't you?" Colson gasped as he held his stomach.
"Not funny Baker." She folded her arms and pretended to sulk.
"I'm sorry but that-" He laughed "was epic Bambi."
"You know what I meant but as usual you twisted it in your perverted mind."
"You know what I'd like to do right now?" His face grew serious and he inched towards her.
"No." She knew exactly what he wanted but she wanted to hear him say it. His face was a whisper away from hers and she could feel his warm breath caress her face. She kept reminding herself to breath otherwise she was going to pass out. He stared deep into her eyes, trying to read her expression before pulling away suddenly.
"Let's play a little game?" He cleared his throat and walked over to the TV and the remote. "You're in?"
"Yeah." She pushed back her hair and shifted in her seat.
"We're going to play our own version of Karaoke." He scrolled down the screen and connected to the YouTube homepage. "You know that music speaks right? So we going to choose songs that speak to each other. Got it?"
"I'm not sure I do.." She frowned.
"Look sweets-you and I have chemistry. There's no denying that right?" He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes.
"Correct."
"So..we're having a problem communicating our feelings to each other right?"
"Yes but I can't sing." She bit her bottom lip.
"Who cares? You're not here for an audition sweets." He brushed her off. "This is the best way for us to tell the other person what we're feeling or thinking. By choosing a specific song and singing it-word for word. Don't worry it won't be so bad. I'll go first." He selected his song and she smiled.
"Interesting choice."
"Dance with me." He pulled her close and sang the song to her, meaning every word and she knew it. This wasn't an act. This was exactly how he felt. She was thinking how she was going to top this.
𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍, 𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉, 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (𝑺𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖), 
𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍, 𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉, 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖), 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖
'𝑪𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 
𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 (𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆) 
𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑰 𝒔𝒊𝒏
𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 
𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔
(Credit Angel by The Weeknd)
"Your turn." He handed her the remote and she thought of the perfect song.
𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈
𝑵𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒓 𝒅𝒐 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆 
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔
𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏
𝑶𝒉, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 '𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆 
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 
𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆
(Credit Gravity by Sarah Bareilles)
He looked at her with such passion in his eyes as she sang, his arms circled her waist and brought her closer until they were chest to chest. All he wanted to do was feel her soft cherry lips on his and he hoped she wouldn't turn away.
"I'm going to kiss you now." He simply stated before his lips came crushing down on hers. He kissed her possessively until she was limp in his arms.
"I've been dying to do that all day," He smiled into her lips and kissed her one more time.
"What took you so long." She panted and placed her hands on his chest.
"That's what I've been asking myself." He laughed, his blue eyes shining. "Let's get out of here before I take you right here and right now." She gasped and he laughed.
He took her through a trap door that led to another tunnel that went straight to the dock.
"Would you like to go on a boat ride or do you get seasick?" He asked as they stood on the gangplank.
"Let's go!" She pulled him towards the speed boat.
"Alright, alright." He untied the boat and help her get in. She stood beside him as they took off, her head resting on his shoulder.
"We're just in time to watch the sunset." He pointed to the orange horizon. "The best way to take it in is if we relax in the cockpit." He turned of the engine and allowed the boat to float. Fortunately the boat had a dual console deck and the lounge area had comfortable u-shape leather seats, where could lie down or sit with your feet up.
Colson lay with Y/N in silence, her head on his shoulder as they watched the sunset.
"I have one last song to play for you." He slipped a pair of blue-tooth headphones over her head and put his on afterwards. She snuggled close to him and they were face to face as he sang the song to her.
𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 
𝑵𝒐 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒅 
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒑 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒖𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒎𝒆 (𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖?)
𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍? 
𝑨𝒎 𝑰 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆? 
𝑰 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑴𝒚 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒔 (𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖?)
𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 
𝑰𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆
(Credit Sweet Surrender by Sarah McLaughlin)
She smiled at him and he caressed he cheek. No one had ever sang to her before-like this. She didn't know how to feel or how to react. Her heart wanted to burst out of her chest. How could she not fall in love with this person when he did such things to her. Little things meant a lot to Y/N. Such small gestures hooked her and reeled her in.
She was a goner-she thought to herself before falling asleep on Colson's broad chest.
Tagged: @kellysimagines
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neil-neil-orange-peel · 3 years ago
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Kevin! (Cause we established he's your absolute fave last time >:3c) and maybe Alan if you're up to it, if you haven't gotten either of these already of course!
Hello! Tis true, Kevin is one of my favourite Rik characters. I don't know if he's my favourite because the ordering of the list changes multiple times a day 😂 but he's up there!
Kevin Turvey
Sexuality headcanon ~ Sorry guys, I think he's straight. I also wouldn't be entirely surprised if he's never had a girlfriend before.
OTP ~ Clearly, Theresa Kelly is not interested. I have plans to pair Kevin up with someone in a future fic... But I'm not telling you who that is because it's a spoiler! As for shipping him with someone in general, I'm not sure. 🤔
BrOTP ~ Keith Marshall (and his musical anarchy). Kevin's Ade counterpart. Yeah, they seem to fall out sometimes, but what Rik and Ade duo don't?
NOTP ~ Mick. I mean, just why? 😂 Still not an anti but I couldn't imagine anyone shipping it, to be honest.
First headcanon that pops into my head ~ Hmm... Apart from adding him to the family tree of Riks as Rick's cousin... I headcanon him as neurodivergent in some way.
Favourite line from this character ~ Difficult but I'll go with: "I just want to say, don't bother trying to go see me in Superman 3, because I'm not in it." Typing it out doesn't yield the same effect as hearing him say it.
One way in which I relate to this character ~ Well, as anyone who's read a few of my posts on here will be aware of, I have a slight tendancy to waffle about things I'm interested in. It's really annoying sometimes - not being able to say things in a few words - because uni essays have word limits. Anyway, Kevin is nothing if not verbal diarrhea personified and, though I don't generally talk as much as him, if I'm comfortable around someone and they set me off on anything I'm interested/have some knowledge about, oof. 😅
Thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character ~ Kevin is sweet in comparison to most of Rik's other characters but he does still retain the quality of being crap at most things, for comedic effect. When he's beaten up by the park keeper or getting bollocked over the phone by Theresa Kelly's dad, they're both kinda wince worthy moments. Still very funny though. 😂
Cinnamon roll or problematic fave ~ Cinnamon roll ❤️ a rarity with this lot!
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Alan B'Stard
Sexuality headcanon ~ Alright so, I do think that Alan is super duper cishet and that this is an important part of his characterisation. Because he's such a bigot, that fact that he encompasses certain characteristics - white, cisgender amab, born lower middle class and now a millionaire, privately educated followed by Oxbridge, heterosexual, southern English accent (yes, this matters) - is important as it heightens his position of privilege in society. It's been easier for him to get where he is... And he doesn't want anyone else (the "ordinaries") rising to his level. So I think Alan is just homophobic, rather than having internalised homophobia, because it makes much more sense for his character to me. That said, anyone is free to headcanon his sexuality however they wish. I was actually indirectly responsible for spawning a crack ship (UtterB'Stard or Rick X Alan) and I love the results. I just think, if we're looking at canon B'Stard and what he's meant to represent, he's absolutely heterosexual.
OTP ~ I don't think Alan is capable of any form of love - be it romantic, platonic, familial, anything - so when I say Sarah here it's not because I think they're adorable, in love and simply misunderstood. 😂 Alan and Sarah's marriage is one of convenience and a match made in hell. In s3 and 4 particularly they are an evil power couple and it's horribly delightful. Alan couldn't be married to anyone but a woman like Sarah, because Sarah is one of the few people who is able to best him and could perhaps be his undoing (she almost is a few times). I suppose he could also marry someone completely oblivious to who he really is, someone who falls for his charming facade at every turn, but they wouldn't really be a partnership, would they? They wouldn't really know Alan like Sarah does - and even then Sarah probably doesn't know every part of Alan. Whether or not Sarah could find a life partner in someone other than Alan is a different matter, as while Sarah isn't a nice person and has next to no moral qualms over Alan's exploits, it is arguable that she only gets worse because of Alan's influence. However, for Alan B'Stard? Well, they say you should keep your enemies close.
BrOTP ~ It's got to be Piers, really. Poor idiot. Although Alan calls him his "best friend" at least once, he's employing a grossly perverted definition of friendship. Alan doesn't have equals. Even those he works with and appears to have an understanding with at points, like Sir Greville, he'd stab in the back in a heartbeat. Because he's a Tory MP. As Sir Greville says of Alan and Piers in an attempt to smear Alan, they have a sadomasochistic relationship - and it's not a consensual one. Yet, amongst the darkness that TNS reflects, Piers and Alan are friends on the surface. And how things appear on the surface is all that matters in politics.
NOTP ~ I can see the reasoning but I don't really ship Alan and Piers. Sexualities aside, I doubt Alan would let Piers near his "perfect" body in that way, even though Alan would obviously be setting all the rules. There are plenty of other ways he can already get out his sadistic desires on Piers. Still, as I've said with other ships, you ship it? Go ahead, you foul pervert! 😂
First headcanon that pops into my head ~ I like the idea of Alan having something to do with Rick's parents' deaths, though I can't take credit for that idea. Hmm... Original Alan B'Stard headcanon... Okay, not a headcanon but, me and a friend have an AU where he gets turned into a demon looking creature for being such a gigantic twat.
Favourite line from this character ~ Oh god, there are far too many to choose from! I'll go for a classic: "You see, in the good old days, you were poor... you got ill... and you died!"
One way in which I relate to this character ~ Woah. Uh. I would sincerely hope I'm nothing like Alan! I guess I'll say, we both have an interest in politics? Although obviously from different angles and for vastly different reasons.
Thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character ~ I don't think anything does. You're not really embarrassed by Alan, you're horrified by him but unable to look away. Sort of... Ensnared. I guess that's the most embarrassing thing about Alan, the knowledge that he's so good at smiling for the camera and being everyone's blue eyed boy that he can fool millions of people. There are real Alan B'Stards who have popularity via similar principles. Isn't that a bit embarrassing? That all someone has to do is flash some charisma and a large enough portion of society to be a concern will throw themselves at their feet?
Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? ~ Oh, he's the most problematic of my faves by FAR. 😂
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Thanks for the ask!
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languagethrills · 6 years ago
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5 WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION MISTAKES TEACHERS SHOULD AVOID
I am not perfect at communication. I am a teacher, so I am good at delivering classes. But when it comes to communicating marginal issues at work, issues that don't necessarily concern the curriculum, I often fall short. My students are undeniably the center of my attention every day, but they're not the only people at work I interact with on a daily basis. In fact, I would argue that teachers spend almost as much time communicating with each other as with their students, though of course if would differ from school to school. Communication breakdowns between work colleagues can lead to a drop in productivity, feelings of resentment and even resignation. Those are some serious reasons to want to be better at it.
Do you ever...
...hear "You should have told X about this earlier" from your supervisor?
...find yourself come home from work ranting to your loved ones about something that was said to you by a colleague of yours?
...hear "There's obviously been some kind of misunderstanding here"?
...wonder if you should tell anyone about an ongoing issue in your class or leave it be?
...say something that sounds completely innocuous, get a reaction opposite to what you expected, and realize your intentions were all wrong to start with?
Here are 5 work communication pitfalls that teachers often commit and ideally should replace with better behavioral or thinking patterns.
#1: ASSUMING
I arrive at work assuming that the weekly Monday meeting will take place at a usual time today. Monday is a busy day, and I'm completely immersed in lesson prep and ignore to check my phone. I step out to pop into a shop thinking I'll have plenty of time to come back right before the meeting. I come in only to find the meeting in full swing, and I'm embarrassed -- everyone is looking questioningly. After the meeting is over, I offer my apologies to the management, and check my phone to find a message about the meeting being moved to an earlier time. Assuming is such a common reason for communication breakdown that I could have given you 10+ more examples. A while ago I heard someone on the radio ask: "Are you an assumer or an inquirer?" "I'm an assumer," I was somewhat upset to admit. In my experience, people who would rather ask than assume tend to have fewer communication problems. What to do instead: Be an inquirer, not an assumer
It's very simple: if you don't know the answer -- ask. Assume nothing. Not when it comes to your students. Not when it comes to your workplace. Especially not when it comes to communication. If you can't immediately reach a person who you think will know the answer, plan on asking, and don't assume anything until you do. It is upon you to be the one who asks the right question.
#2: WITHHOLDING
Michael teaches a teenagers class. The majority of the children in class are boys, and there's a lot of horse-playing and friendly banter happening during the lessons. Michael manages to control the situation most of the time, but notices it can sometimes go out of hand when some of the more boisterous children cross the line and get verbally obnoxious. Michael can see that this bothers other children in class who feel they are being picked up on and decides to tackle the problem by addressing the whole class and talk to them about the importance of being friendly and tolerant in any circumstance. He decides not to say anything to the management, fearing of being perceived as being unable to control children in his care. Weeks later he receives a message from his school management that the parents of one of the children being picked up on decided to take him from this school. Michael realizes that the problem ran more deeply that he had assumed. Naturally, the management has questions. Teachers do it for various reasons: Michael's was fearing of being perceived as a lesser teacher. Some people do it our of pride to prove to everyone including themselves that they can do it without anyone's help. What to do I instead: Share with people who are supposed to know
Make sure everyone who is supposed to know about the situation is told about it by you. Perhaps the best advice that I'd ever received when it comes to communication was from my mentor, who said "Never leave the issue lying -- always address it head-on." Issues left unaddressed will almost definitely surface, only this time people involved will have questions about not being informed about it before. It is way better to be forthcoming. A conversation delayed is a problem exacerbated. #3: EXPECTING
Diane is an educated woman working in a small private language school. She likes being appreciated for the work she had put into her training, and expects respect in communication with her colleagues. The company goes through downsizing and Diane is made redundant. She's devastated, and doesn't understand why.
At work, there is really only one rule regarding expectations to live by:
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What to do instead: Ask yourself if what you want is in everyone's interests
It is awfully nice to be appreciated, understood, listened to. It is wonderful to work in a place where people fulfill their promises and uphold unspoken agreements. And wouldn't it be glorious if everyone was courteous,  mannerly and genuine with us all the time? In reality, we live in a ever changing world surrounded by people who are having it just as hard as we do -- what makes them any smarter, mentally stronger and kinder than us that we expect this behavior from them, especially when deep down we know that it may not be in their interests? Not expecting doesn't have to make you jaded -- on the contrary, it may add a little more empathy to your life. After all, you are trying to understand whether what you're expecting is realistic from the other person's point of view. And once you do, you can be free of resentment.   #4: POINTING FINGERS Patricia is substituting a teacher who is sick. When taking over the classes, she notices that the teacher had been behind the syllabus for a while. When asked by the management how Patricia is  getting on with her temporary classes, she is quick to point out that the other teacher has been lagging behind, and that is why she is finding it difficult to keep up with the pacing. No one likes a person pointing fingers -- it makes for a situation where all parties will resent each other. What to do instead: Channel the conversation into what you've done
You may say something like "We started with X and are now doing Z, so I think that by the of next week we'll be doing Y." And just leave it at that. In an ideal world, I would make it a rule of thumb not to get into a conversation about people who are not in the room unless you want to evoke confidentiality regarding a conversation at hand. #5: FAULT-FINDING
Ashley is a teacher in a summer language school. She knows she is a good teacher, who is also smart and perceptive. In a meeting with her supervisor, she is quick to point out the issues that need to be addressed, but is unhappy with the solutions her supervisor has to offer. All parties leave the meeting a little frustrated and resenting each other. There is nothing wrong with bringing out the issues that need to be looked at. A good manager will want to surround themselves with people who are willing to work towards improvement. Your intention however should be primarily to work towards the solution of the problem. If it isn't, you will continuously get disappointed, frustrated and resentful. . What to do instead: Have a solution to offer
It is always a good idea to have a possible solution at hand - it will set your expectations  for the communication right, and will likely leave your management pleased with your initiative and willingness to find a solution. We fall victims to communication breakdown from time to time, and we all need to be better at it.  The key is to recognize the mindsets that lead to these or similar situations described above. Every situation described here is personal to me, in one way or another. I have been continuously learning to be a better communicator. I wrote this post in hope you would embark on this journey with me exploring your own communication shortcomings and taking it upon yourself to improve.
www.languagethrills.com
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