#princess rard lore

[princessg3rard]

I feel like I need to make a lore post like y’all always act surprised when I talk about my stupid hockey appendix or like the burns in my arms - y’all need a princess 101 I think :)

lmk if y’all will actually read that shit tho lol

[princessg3rard]

hey 😭😭😭 what name do u go by so i know what to refer to u as

most people on here call me princess (save for @basment-bunni that calls me miss princess rard :3) so u can use that <3 princess rard also works tbh but ur very welcome to come up with a new nickname for me :DD

[princessg3rard]

whats good gucci gang. OMG I JUST REMEMBERED IDK YR NAME IS IT ON YOUR BLOG OR AM I SLOW

I don’t use my real name on here but u can call me princess rard or just princess, everyone else does !! <3

I don’t use my real name bc 1) im not trying to get myself doxed, enough of my friends have gotten hate anons bc of me, and so have i so im really just trying to keep my identity safe atm :)

and 2) bc none of u will ever be able to pronounce it lol :3

[princessg3rard]

alright gather round moots, followers, and generally curious weirdos (affectionate) !! the long awaited princess lore 101 post is here !! <3

general fun facts

- I do everything in slutty gogo heels, including climbing the Eiffel Tower, doing prides, running, and presenting research papers <3

- the slutty gogos and a mini skirt (plus the word slay) have become my signature thing, and to this day people around me call those boots by my irl name

- I made countless people question their sexuality, even getting nominated as “couple of the year” with 2 of them (one of which i technically made cheat on her bf but like we were drunk and high as shit and I kinda forgot he was a thing (until I saw him in my dorm not 2 days later))

- I have very intense hyperfixiations that lead to very intense phases :3 my family still shudders in horror just hearing the name Percy Jackson :,)

- got my first head injury and first stitches at 3yo :)) they had to untangle so much blood from my curls it took like an hour and a half until they could actually stitch me lol

- all throughout hs people were convinced I was fucking one of my best friends which was funny as balls when u remember I’m a lesbian and he is gayer than a pile of bricks :) we did like to add fuel to the fire tho, posting each other in dresses and stuff like that (he was even my date to 12th grade formal and he wore my wedding dress from the year prior) so maybe it’s partially our fault too :3

the time I burned off my arms and got sick ass scars

so imagine me, little mx. violent fag, finishing my first matriculation exam in hebrew lang. me and my friends play a couple violent rounds of jungle speed before me and bestie have to run off to help the club. the activity is making small benches out of old tires and concrete, easy right ?? well, the supervising councillor tells us to just mix the cement by hand bc he forgot to get us gloves, so not really. it’s really fucking fun, we���re having a great time mixing and listening to music and chatting, but my arms start to fucking burn like crazy after a while. I ask the club president next to me and she says she feels that too, and it’s probs nothing, so we carry on.

at about the half hour mark, it gets a bit too much to me so I go and make a little round to my dorm, just to wash my hands a bit bc they’re feeling just a TAD too warm for summer. while I wash my hands, I realise that not only was it not nothing, it was chemical burns. from a bit above my elbow all the way down to my fingers, my hands were red and stinging and (gore warning !!) I could see my flesh thru the holes.

so I go down to councillors room and tell them I think I might be having an allergic reaction (it looked like hives for most of my hands) bc like omg I can’t tell them my arms are burning. anywho, me and the shinshinit tom get a ride to the clinic, where they drown my arms in rubbing alcohol and bandage me and send me on my merry way. I did have to actually go to hospital later bc of my arms, but didn’t stay long and my arms fully recovered just in time for my arabic final.

I still have pretty cool scars where the holes were, and I can write semi-ok (albeit with a slight tremor) :) another boy from my megama (major) got injured around that time (broke his leg) so it seemed like we were cursed for a slight bit there lol :3

the time I lost my appendix in a hockey match

this one is from Hanukkah of 6th grade. I played roller hockey for 3 years at that point, as wild dykey offence, and we were going to a tournament up north. the day before that, I have my last appendix checkup and get told I’m alright and can totes go on the tournament - but that night, I start having cramps. thinking nothing of it, I tell myself it’s stress and go to sleep.

once we arrive to the tournament, I start feeling it again, but stronger. I shake it off and go on to play, but it gets worse the longer I play, and I find myself on the floor after a stray disk hits my stomach. I get up and ask to take a break, and ask the mum that came with us to call my mum bc I think my appendix is acting up again. she laughs and shakes her head, telling me I’m making a fuss over nothing and that I’ve probably gotten my period - which I absolutely didn’t.

I keep telling her it’s urgent, that it happened before and this time I could find myself either on an operating table or in a morgue (yes I was an over dramatic little shit but it was actually true), so could she PLEASE just tell my mum to come pick me up ?? I get another annoyed no, one after the other. I try to go up on the rink again, but have to take a time out again after a couple minutes bc I feel like my insides are on fire. after a while, she gets my coach to give me the most patronising period talk ever, where he talks to me like a toddler and ignores that I’m in borderline debilitating pain. the thing is, I don’t show pain well, and most people can’t tell I’m in pain unless I’m like dying or crying (which doesn’t happen often), so they keep brushing me off.

I get tired of the gaslighting and call my mum up myself. she comes rushing in, curses at the “responsible” adults, and takes me to hospital no questions asked, and I find myself appendix-less not 3hr after I was told off by the angry mum and my coach. it almost burst, and I had to do emergency surgery and stay in hospital for 3 weeks. oh well at least I got an ipad and a cool scar out of it lol :3

[princessg3rard]

if you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog <3

UHHHH OK !! <3

1. I own a copious amount of human body atlases and absolutely intend on getting more :)

2. for my last birthday I got to see one of my fav rock acts of all time live (and also it’s the day gerard wore that nurse outfit !! I feel blessed fr) !!

3. as a kid I had a special interest in greco-roman & egyptian mythologies (a hyperfixiation that never really went away lol) :3

[princessg3rard]

OMG HAVE YOU HAD YOUR APPENDIX TAKEN OUT ARE U OK

yea I had it taken out in 6th grade after being gaslit by my coach to believe it was period cramps, during a hockey tournament :) it’s like a part of my lore fr :3

the story is pretty funny (and my mom gets angry telling it every time bc she is very vindictive): I was just in my last checkup for my appendix 3 days before the tournament and felt fine. took the drive up north with my team and coach and one of the moms, and on the way I started to get the pain but thought it was nerves. while playing our 2nd match (I played offence) the pain got really bad and I had to leave the rink, and asked to call my mom bc I was SURE it was my appendix acting up again. the thing is, I don’t show pain - I was never good at it, and people can’t really tell unless im in excruciating pain, so the mom just told me it’s nothing and sent me on my way. me, being a stubborn brat, told her it’s actually serious and I need my mom to come, but she just insists it’s period pain - for 2 whole hours. she even gets my coach (dude) to give me a patronising talk about periods and shit, while im secretly texting my mom that I feel like I’ll pass out soon. she comes barging in, almost fistfights the other mom, takes me off the rink (I was forced back in) and drives me to hospital - where I was appendix-less 3 hours later :) almost died but at least it was funny lol