#prince post from like a year ago) but i'm starting to kind of understand it better. yeah

[skrunksthatwunk]

waiitt i just remembered the promised neverland existed. exists, present tense. i have no idea if it was actually good or if i was just like 13 but that shit scratched a crucial and oft-neglected fiction genre itch of watching small children Go Through It Like Just Having Genuinely The Worst Time You Can Imagine without any support from adults/with active hostility from adults who have way more power over them. which. is putting into perspective some of my own childhood and anyway that was probably the most tense i have ever been watching anything in my life that shit was horrifying. full body clenching my way through like 12 episodes of television. im gonna go watch it teehee

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐄𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞. | TEASER

There's magic in everything.

Tags/Warnings: Royal Warlock!Jungkook, Maid!Cat Hybrid!Reader, Magic!AU, realistic Fantasy, sci-fi, Strangers to lovers, Fluff, Romance, Angst, mentions of war, Injury, Violence and blood, Smut

Length: ???

There is no taglist for this fic. This is a Patreon-Exclusive.

A/N: due to fantasy stories never doing very well here on tumblr, Exhale will be posted on Patreon only. I've also lost my job, so currently, Patreon is one of the only ways to make money right now. Please understand that I'm gonna advertise it more often due to that. Thank you for your understanding.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"You'll feel at home soon, Sir Jungkook." You say as you place the plate of his food in front of him, his dark eyes looking up at you.

They don't scare you. Neither does the fact that he draws his powers from.. well, not the light. He's shown by now that he still has a kind heart, even if it's a bit hidden and cluttered with other things he deems more important. "I do not need to feel welcome here." He denies, starts to eat quietly, averting his gaze from you.

"Sure, you do not." You respond, turning around to wash the other's dishes in the sink. Jungkook's eyes raise at that, focusing on the way your tail sways from side to side softly.

Your dress looks a lot more.. tailored to you, than he's used to see on maids. In fact, everyone appears to be dressed in clean, and well made clothes that still fit their status and job- but don't appear to be simply given from one to the next. Kim Seokjin knows every staff's name in fact, and does not seem to really draw a line in who he speaks to and who he does not.

Odd.

"But doesn't it feel better?" You ask, singing to yourself as you wash the plates.

Jungkook doesn't respond, simply thinks. He doesn't have to feel at home here. Once King Seokjin doesn't have any use for him any longer, he will be sent out once more. The less connections he makes here, the less he will be driven away from his path. He doesn't need friends, or a home.

He's learned that many times in his life. It'll only hurt.

"How long have you been working here?" Jungkook asks as he rips off a piece of bread to eat. You dry your hands, and sit at the table with him, stretching out your legs beneath if for a moment.

"Hm.. I was living here since Jin-.. King Seokjin was still a prince, Sir." You answer. "I was born in the nearby forest village. My mother became a maid when I was old enough to attend school." You remember.

"Explains your lack of respect for him in your tone." Jungkook says, not looking at you. You stiffen, ears pinning backwards.

"Ah- but I do have respect!" You almost whine. "It's just.. his crowning was years ago, I know. But.. on occasion, I forget the boundaries set by society." You sigh, leaning your chin on your hand. "Any other kingdom would've already had me beheaded." You giggle to yourself.

"Or at least exiled." He mumbles, biting another piece of bread.

It's good that you seem to be aware of the luxury you're experiencing inside this castle. As a mere hybrid maid, you're not much more in status than a dog- and yet, for some odd reasoning, the King himself treats you as much more, just like the other staff. The way he'd spoken to Jungkook, with such familiarity almost, had shown just how soft the King really is. He truly is in need of protection. God knows he probably has not fought a single time in his life.

Just as his food is finished, Jungkook notices your other hand that's not supporting your head. There's something on your palm he's not sure of, but the skin is clearly irritated. He motions for you to turn it over, and you do- scratches having reopened from washing the dishes earlier.

Either you're very dumb, or just very devoted to your purpose in this castle.

He's slow with his movements to give you a way to deny him- but you do not, instead even leaning forward a bit in curiosity to see what he's going to do, as he covers your hand in his own, silver rings bulky on his fingers. There's no glow, or anything really- not much is happening at all, apart from the tingling feeling underneath your skin, stinging from the cuts slowly ebbing away like it's dipped in cold water.

And when he removes his hands, your palm is covered in what looks like black soot almost.. but once you brush that off, the skin is healed- no scars remaining.

"Oh! There you guys are." Yoongi offers, walking closer into the kitchen, a hand on your shoulder as he stands behind you. "The king requests you, Jungkook. " He tells the warlock, who still feels oddly irritated by the man's lack of proper wording regarding him. "And you should clean up. It's late." He says much softer to you, and you nod.

"Look! sir Jungkook healed me!" You hold out your hand, and Yoongi clearly grows irritated, frustration clear on his face.

This is what Jungkook is used to. The anger, distaste, disgust even regarding his practices- this is what's comforting to him. He can work with that, knows that people like this man will not get unnecessarily attached to him and cause problems. He likes that-

"Yah, where'd you even get hurt again?!" Yoongi scolds you instead, however. "Be glad Jin didn't see, or he'd make you report to him daily again.. show me. Is it really healed.?" He mumbles, inspecting your hand, before he shakes his head at you, ears pinned back. "Thank you. She sometimes has the coordination of a dragon hatchling." He says towards Jungkook, and he's caught entirely off guard, eyes wide open and face clearly showing his surprise.

And you just laugh at that, happily so, before you tell him goodnight with a playful bow, running off after teasingly thanking Yoongi for washing Jungkook's dishes.

Which, yet again irritatingly enough, Yoongi indeed does do for you.

This castle is weird.

But fitting for its king, he thinks.

[atopvisenyashill]

Why do you think Jaehaerys sexually assaulted his own daughter?( I'm genuinely curious)

I have two dedicated tags to this if you want to dig in a bit more - "gael and the bard" and the newly added "jaehaerys the cruel" tags, with this meta here being the kind of jumping off point into that whole theory/analysis. gael and the bard is more focused on gael targaryen herself and the mystery surrounding her pregnancy and suicide; there's a lot of bael the bard imagery surrounding her, being called the winter princess, gael being one letter off from bael, the father of her baby noted to have been a singer, and her status as like, an eternal maiden because of her relationship with alysanne. the jaehaerys the cruel moniker is just a reference to maegor the cruel - i think the play between maegor being outwardly monstrous and jaehaerys being privately monstrous is very interesting! but also it's not like a fun tag name lol so i might change it, haven't decided yet!

but i guess to break down my thought process here - i have never liked that man lmaoooo, i am an og jaehaerys hater. my lil journey here is, i read this series in high school, roughly around the winter of 2012, but i didn't read twoiaf when it came out in 2014, i read that just before i started this blog, so like....idk 2 years ago, roughly, but i was Aware Of Its Existence (they didn't have it at school, the library was kind of far, and it felt like a stupidly expensive book to ask for at the time). i had kinda skimmed over the short stories the princess & the queen and the rogue prince (don't ask me when they came out, icr), and had read all the twow preview chapters so it wasn't like i wasn't up on all the asoiaf world stuff, i just hadn't been able to get my hands on twoiaf, which I do think impacted my view of jaehaerys because the thing is...i just didn't understand the jaehaerys appeal. i won't get into the wanky aspects of fandom (i mean i will if someone asks but idk if you care lol), but i would say in the like 2010-2014 era the fandom was p staunchly and loudly pro targaryen, and not just in a "i love the rot" way but in a "they are the promised heroes" type of way and i never jived with it. i did not enjoy the vast majority of dany's chapters on my first read, nor did i enjoy this weird "well if you like the starks you're a NORMIE" takes that i was constantly seeing, and the sansa v arya war was insane (i'm blocked and have blocked just so many people lol).

i say all that because everyone was UP jaehaerys' ass. i won't name names but i remember a common rebuttal to the "well george is kinda critiquing incest-in-fantasy here and i'm not sure this series is going to end with an incestuous targ restoration" stance was "well if incest is so bad why do jaehaerys and alysanne exist huh? check AND mate incest hater" and it was like............alright, so this is a fandom of deeply unserious people who like to think they are the Expert On Themes instead of just another schmuck with a blog like everyone else. it was just a very condescending tone, always, and it turned me off the targs but especially turned me off jaehaerys.

and it was also like....but what has he done to be so beloved in this fandom??? again, this is pre twoiaf, and then post-twoiaf but pre f&b, so all we know about this dude is that he was called the conciliator because he pardoned the people who sided with maegor, he "protected the faith", he married his sister who gave the watch the gift, he abolished prima noctus, he built a dirt road, he was besties with barth. okay? i always thought the move with the gift was annoying and goofy behavior & i feel very vindicated on being right there esp if aegon’s dream was real, and i’ve always thought the marriages for his kids were kinda weird once we got those in twoiaf and WHAT DO YOU KNOW. like, pre twoiaf everyone was hyping him up as this great king, this paragon of valyrian supremacy, oh he’s so smart and politically minded but he’s not overly cruel, and it was like. we know little about this man in his day to day life though. we know damn well whatever good robert did as king was largely jon arryn's influence so Why are we pretending like just because jaehaerys passed a few good laws it means HE was the one responsible for those ideas (and again I WAS RIGHT). is what he’s doing even that good??

AND THEN FIRE AND BLOOD CAME OUT. and everyone was crying screaming throwing up about how stupid he is, how cruel he is, how weird he is about his daughters, and then people started saying “well you’re being unfair if you don’t like him because-“ i don’t give a shit because i’m validated for not liking that man’s vibes thanks!!!! like…yeah he IS a paragon of targaryen supremacy and this is not a good thing! and especially when you factor in how often the patriarchs of the series have these deeply rooted, very disturbing flaws, i thought the backlash to f&b re: “he ruined jae & aly!” so silly. of COURSE he was weird about his daughters, he eloped with his 12 year old sister and when confronted over it basically said “i do what i want fuck you” that’s not romantic it’s INSANE BEHAVIOR and i’ll stand on that forever!!! marrying your siblings is deranged and idgaf about what magic or political reasoning they have ESPECIALLY when jaehaerys himself refuses a valyrian marriage several times over when it makes more political sense to go that route (in both his own marriage and in the marriages of his grandchildren).

so! i always thought he was boring and weird, then f&b came out and i was vindicated. the thing is, as i read, i guess i was also like. but what is the fuckijg POINT of this guy! he dominates the f&b narrative when there’s way more interesting characters, he has no redeeming qualities, every good thing he does is usually overshadowed by his reasoning being heinous and disturbing, but this book is pushing this idea that he’s the good one, he’s the blueprint, so is it JUST an exploration of like, what ~being a good person~ really means and how reputations & history are very malleable depending on who is recording it??

And then i really started to dig into Saera. Her isolation, her drinking, her sexually tormenting the court fool, the way jaehaerys is always giving her gifts and "indulging" her, the way she's brought before the throne instead of in a private room because what she did is considered like, treasonous basically (what she did being, of course, having sex without her father's permission, lmao!), her very hysterical confrontation with her parents, Jonquil Darke forcing her to watch her boyfriend be murdered, Jaehaerys' insistence on refusing to forgive her and calling her a whore, and of course this weird exchange:

“What have you done?” the king said, when at last the princess ran out of words. “Seven save us, what have you done? Have you given one of these boys your maidenhead? Tell me true.” “True?” said Saera. It was in that moment, with that word, that the contempt came out. “No. I gave it to all three. They all think they were the first. Boys are such silly fools.”

"They all think they were the first." they all think it. i don't think any of those three boys were the first - i think she'd lost her virginity well before she started fooling around with them and when I first read that part my first thought was "I think Jaehaerys knows damn well who she lost her virginity to" and I started spiraling from there.

I decided to do a write up of Jaehaerys Being Deeply Weird Towards His Girls and while there's some things I would change - in particular, I think I'd add more to the Alyssa, Viserra, and Gael sections - there's a reason that the Saera section in particular seemed to really spark off a lot of conversation (not to toot my own horn here lmao) and that reason, imo, is that a lot of people read about what happened between Saera and jaehaerys and go "now what in the goddamn hell is THAT about." Saera more than any of Jaehaerys' kids is imo the canary in the coal mine, so to speak - whatever George intended with F&B, I do think he meant for us to look at the way Jaehaerys talks about Saera and go "this guy has some fucking ISSUES." I don't know that he meant for it to go all the way up to "Jaehaerys is molesting his own kids" route but I do fully believe he meant something in that realm of "Jaaehaerys is cruel to a sexually abusive point to his children" the same way that like, Tywin and Cersei sexually abuse Tyrion but don't outright rape him themselves. I think Jaehaerys was always meant to be aman who is remembered fondly but was an absolute monster in his private life, in contrast to both the kings he succeeded (maegor and aenys) and as a point of comparison to our "modern day" patriarchs who have their own hang ups surrounding their daughters in Tywin, Doran, Ned, Robert, Jon, and Hoster.

[rockyroadkylers]

WIP Wednesday!

I was tagged by @ssmtskw and @littlemisskittentoes this time! (both your fics look SO GOOD)

I'm really excited this week because. Okay, listen. I started a new WIP. I had, like, five already, but we were talking in the server last week about how there are almost no "Alex fell first" fics, which is kind of understandable because it's hard to come up with a scenario where it would be him instead of Henry, BUT! I was thinking about it a couple days ago, and I swear, it was an actual lightbulb moment.

Everyone who's read the book knows Alex had a massive crush on Henry way before he realized it for himself, and I'm convinced that crush goes all the way back to the days of J14 magazine. I mean, come on, sneaking into June's room to touch a picture of Henry's hair? Multiple times? 😂 Alex, bless your heart, babe.

Anyway, that led my train of thought to Alex getting snubbed at Rio, and the whole concept of unrequited crushes, and then came the lightbulb moment: Hanahaki AU. I've seen a few where Henry has it, but only, like, one where Alex does. And now there will be another! This is not the kind of vibe I usually go for with my writing, but it's been fun to branch out!

It's, um, slightly evil (big whumpy angst vibes), as I have already been told several times by multiple people in the server who have seen snippets, but I'm having so much fun writing it. So, here's a snippet from my newest WIP, which will either be titled "i picked the petals, he loves me not" OR "come and meet me in my garden"

---

Alex has been snubbed by political peers plenty of times before, and he would be probably snubbed by plenty more, but for some reason this rejection had hurt a hell of a lot more than any other. His heart had dropped into his stomach when Henry turned away from him, with that look on his face like if he didn’t get away from Alex fast enough, he might give him fleas.

The thing is (and it’s kind of embarrassing to admit, even to himself), Alex used to look up to Henry. Until pretty recently, as a matter of fact.

Recently, as in, about two hours ago.

He’d always been aware of Prince Henry as a general concept. The royal family is always in the news for some reason or another, so Alex grew up seeing candid shots of Henry with his parents and siblings in magazine spreads, in waiting rooms and grocery store check-outs. But he can still remember the first time he saw a picture of Henry in one of June’s magazines where he hadn’t been with the rest of his family, just featured on his own in one of those locker-sized tear-out posters, with his name printed across the page in big block lettering and a little blurb about his hobbies in the corner. Henry had looked so bright, and happy, and full of life, and easy-going. Alex had been maybe a little bit obsessed with that picture for… a solid two years. Though his obsession with the boy in the picture ended up lasting much longer.

For all the fucking good it did him, in the end.

How does the saying go? Never meet your heroes. Alex gets it, now.

If Henry really is the reason he’s spending his evening coughing up flowers instead of getting wasted at the diving finals with his sister and best friend, Alex doesn’t know if he should be madder at Henry for being a dick, or at himself for being naive enough to believe they could be friends.

---

I think I've already seen some of these people's posts on my dash today, but I'm gonna go ahead and tag @read-and-write-, @suseagull04, @affectionatelyrs, @inexplicablymine, and @anincompletelist!

[princess-of-the-corner]

"In what sense? Of timeline? I mean each Season is going to be roughly a year?"

Sorry for not being specific.

I meant summary of what changed in each season in comparison to Canon

Okay hm so off the top of my head without going too far into my notes:

Actually side thing is I just realized that most of the Major Changes have to do with the various villains. The Trix being salvageable to the Good Side(after a bit), Darkar getting downgraded to normal, Valtor has been changed completely tbh. The Wizards of the Black Circle have been almost completely yeeted. Tritanus is more of a civil war situation than an outright coup.

Interesting tbh.

Season 1:

Same basic plot of Bloom learning about Magic and going to Alfea, learning about her actual heritage, the Trix being fucks. Some things go sideways, some plots are diverted.

Changes include

A good chunk of adjusting the whole 'Ancestral Witches' thing and the Fall of Domino because having that happen ages ago but also less than 20 years ago is ?????. Short version: A group called 'Ancestral' that wanted to take over everything invaded Domino for the Dragon Flame. Yadda yadda Daphne yeets Bloom to Earth, gets Spirited in the process, most of the population is killed, most members of Ancestral were either killed or arrested but a few escaped. This is treated as a semi-recent tragedy that most Adult characters remember

Faeries and Witches are the same thing, just using Light vs. Dark Magic. Not different species. Not good vs evil. (Light is not always 'good', Dark is not always 'evil'). The neutral word for them is Magixae. While people from all worlds(other than Earth for reasons unknown) can use base Magic, only Magixae have major powers and can transform like they do. And they only make up a small percentage of the population.

Stella actually has plans to study as both a Faerie and a Witch because stuff with Solaria and the duality and all that. She's starting with Faerie though.

Alfea/Cloud Tower/Red Fountain are colleges, not high school

Bloom actually has friends back in Gardenia, though they're all going off to college, but they appear when she goes home for breaks

Bloom is 100% aware she was adopted and they do kind of assume from the get-go that her bio parents might be from one of the other Magical Realms and she just ended up on Earth

Winx is very 'Sci-Fi disguised as Fantasy' so I'm leaning hard into the fact that they're all aliens and have non-human features and biology which will get explored!

Sky and Brandon still switch places, though it's less 'prince and the pauper' and more a legitimate thing of there's been assassination attempts on the royal family. Diaspro and the arranged marriage also still exist, but Sky is 100% adamant that he's not going to marry her no matter what their parents say.

The Riven/Darcy plot is a legit thing with like. No hypnotisim just genuinely liking each other even if Darcy did start it up just for info. Temporary breakup when the Trix go full evil but....

Kinda dragging the Trix into more 'somewhat understandable, villains with genuine goals not just' to be evil, salvageable and will be dragged to the Good Side eventually' kinda plots. Longer posts on that, but Darcy is the first to jump ship because she's like 'Look I am an ambitious, power-hungry bitch, but I draw the line at full on murder/massacres'. (Speaking of, don't. Don't question the logic re: befriending the person who tried to destroy the world last week. I'm doing some Friendship is Magic shit wtih this we only think about fucked up implications when we want to.)

Diaspro also gets some character development when she tries to take Sky out of the major battle and he decides to stay

Bloom's adoptive parents and friends from back home get dragged into this and are actually helpful in the battle.

Season 2:

Mostly the same plot re: Pixies, Darkar, adding Aisha, so on and so forth. Lot of changes to what Darkar is and the whole shadow phoenix/shadow flame thing with a touch of change to Dark Bloom.

Changes off the top of my head:

Diaspro and Darcy are now added to the main cast as well. Diaspro enrolled herself into Alfea because she wants to find something to do other than being Sky's trophy wife(he's still not into her). Darcy is serving community service. Both of them get dragged into the main plot because the adventure is underground and their powersets are great for this.

Darkar has been downgraded to 'just some guy'(which like. Having a supposed Deity be defeated in only one season and never come back? Kinda lame!). Previous member of that 'Ancestral' group that attacked Domino. Wants the Dragon Flame for the original 'let's take shit over reasons.

His plan involves the Dark Bloom thing. He learned from seeing the Trix fail that taking the Dragon Flame by force won't work, so he decides that using magic brainwashing stuff to have Bloom turn against her friends would work. So we get him posing as Avalon to get access to her.

The "Dark Bloom" thing isn't a 'Dark Faerie', but Bloom channeling the dark/negative emotions into her Magic and going Witch(remember: same species, just depends on where they draw their Magic from)

What is the 'Shadow Phoenix' thing? The opposite energy to the Dragon Flame? It's the Dragon Flame itself. Some yin and yang shit. It is everything. Creation and Destruction, Life and Death, all of it.

Oh also Riven can go Faerie and we get some of his trauma lmao.

Season 3

Final year of Alfea, earning Enchantix, etc. Some of the plots are the same. But there are many a change!

So, firstly, I switched up things for gaining new forms. Charmix was just kind of a 'natural level up progression', but Enchantix takes the new 'you have to overcome something personal'. Mostly because I think it's fucked that Enchantix is supposed to be the normal endgoal(with other forms being optional) but you have to die to get it??? Also there's too much bullshit regarding 'must save someone from your world' because hello??? How do you decide that what counts as 'their world? What do you do with Bloom other than Mary Sue her way out of it?

So everyone gets a plot relating to overcoming something, but we're also going on trips around the Realms and visiting their Homeworlds.

This is probably the most plot-heavy season as everyone has their own arcs going so I won't go into it all here.

But also know that as we're trraveling to all the worlds, we get a LOT of worldbuilding

[melanielocke]

Book recommendations - science fiction

I couldn't put the pictures next to each other as half the books would fall off the picture, but I decided to continue with a selection of science fiction books. Some are set in space, but not all of the, because sci-fi as a genre is more than just space books so if you're not into space books perhaps one of the other books might be a good choice.

I'll start with Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

This is not a space book. It's a mermaid book. And while you'd think that's fantasy, this one is actually a sci-fi horror. The way the mermaids are portrayed here is very scientific and also rather horrifying, which is why it's a scifi horror.

While the ending leaves an opening for a sequel, there is currently no sequel. As I understand, this is due to the publisher but if a lot of people were to buy the first one a sequel could still be possible.

Seven years ago, the Atargatis set out to the mariana trench to film a mockumentary about mermaids. The ship disappeared, and was discovered weeks later drifting somewhere with no one on it. Now, a new ship filled with scientists is traveling to the same area to find out what happened.

This book follows a wide cast of characters, but the main character is Tori. Tori is a marine biologist whose older sister was on the Atargatis and presumably died and she wants nothing more than to find out what really happened to her sister.

Some of the other major characters include Olivia, an autistic lesbian who is a tv presenter, the same job Tori's sister had on the previous voyage, deaf twins Holly and Heather who both have their own scientific expertise, dr. Jillian Toth, a marine biologist and siren expert at a time when people generally don't believe in mermaids.

There isn't a lot of romance in the book, but the main pairing is sapphic.

One of the greatest strenghts of this book is the use of science, everything in here is really believable, and the way scientists are portrayed. As very curious people who do not have a lot of self preservation (which is why they're looking for mermaids that might very well kill them all)

Next up is Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell, which I had to include if I'm making a sci-fi list although I've talked about it before as I used the premise from this book for the Stars Collide. The book on the picture is the UK edition, which I bought because at the time it was the only available paperback, but I'm kind of regretting that I don't have a US cover edition because I like that cover a lot better.

Winter's Orbit is a sci-fi romance that follows prince Kiem, a minor prince of the Iskat empire. When Kiem's cousin Prince Taam dies suddenly and unexpectedly, Kiem is rushed into an arranged marriage with Taam's widower Jainan to keep the treaty between Iskat and Jainan's home planet Thea.

It soon turns out Taam's death might not have been an accident and Jainan is a suspect, and Kiem and Jainan will have to navigate an investigation, possible conspiracy and their growing feelings for each other.

Winter's Orbit is equal parts sci-fi and romance, and I think one of the books where miscommunication is done well. It makes sense here for Taam and Kiem to misunderstand each other based on their past relationships, assumptions and expectations, and I would definitely recommend this if you like queer romance, sci-fi romance and arranged marriage stories.

Oceans' Echo is Everina Maxwell's second book, which I also discussed in my first book recommendations post. However, back then I hadn't gotten around to reading it yet and just wanted to show off my very pretty new book. Now I have read it and can tell you a little more about it.

Ocean's Echo is set in the same universe as Winter's Orbit, but featuring different characters set in a completely different part of the galaxy. You do not need to read Winter's Orbit to read this book. The only thing that appears in both books is the existence of the Resolution and their treaties and the remnants, but it'll make sense if you haven't read Winter's Orbit.

The story is set on a planet where they've done experiments with neuromodification, resulting in readers and architects existing. Architects are more common and can "write" people's minds, imposing their will on them, depending on how strong they are. Readers can read people's minds, and they are rarer, and generally not trusted, but their abilities do allow them to navigate chaotic space while mentally linked to an architect.

The main character is Tennal, a reader and walking disaster. He's conscripted into the military under very dubious circumstances, and is ordered to soul bound with young lieutanant Surit Yeni. This soul bond would essentially allow Surit to follow control Tennal's mind.

Surit is the son of a famous dead traitor general, and he is determined to prove he's not a traitor. He seems like the kind of guy who just follows orders, until he's told to soul bond with an unwilling Tennal. The moment he's told to do something unethical he throws that all obedient soldier guy thing out of the window and decides they have to fake a soul bound until he can help Tennal escape the military.

Compared to Winter's Orbit, this book leans more toward sci-fi than romance. It's more sci-fi with a major romance subplot than sci-fi romance, and I found myself less rooting for the romance, but more for the plot and the characters individually. I still liked them as a couple, but that's not the main focus here. It's very military focused, but in a way that portrays the military as an institution with dubious morals that they are mainly trying to escape from.

Next up is the Space between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson

This is a sci-fi not set in space but focused on interdimensional travel instead. In this world, interdimensional travel has been made possible, but there's a problem. You can only travel to worlds where you're already dead.

Cara, the main character, is exceptionally good at dying. So much that out of the currently discovered worlds, she is dead in 372 worlds and only alive in 9. This makes her an ideal candidate to travel to parallel worlds to do research them, which allows her to move from her poor community into the wealthier city, and if she keeps up the job long enough can even win her citizenship there.

I'm not sure how to tell more about the plot without giving everything away, but there are a few things I'll mention.

The second character on the cover is Dell, a Japanese woman who works with Cara and sends her on assignments and such. Dell has grown up in the city, and is unable to travel to other worlds herself because she's still alive in too many of them. She is also Cara's love interest.

This story, and the reason Cara is so good at dying, is largely about poverty and racism. Cara is a Black woman who grew up in an unsafe and poor part of the world, whereas Dell grew up wealthy, and spends a lot of time exploring that, and how the poor area Cara grew up in works in her world but also different worlds she travels too.

There are also a couple of twists that really surprised me and I didn't see coming. While I admit I'm not the best at predicting plot twists, I think this book has one that will surprise a lot of people.

On the Edge of Gone is an internationally published book by a Dutch author (which aren't many), and is set in the Netherlands. Amsterdam, specifically.

A comet is set to hit earth, and Denise and her family have been assigned a shelter to hide in for the blast. Unfortunately, Denise's sister Iris is not home in time and her drug addict mother is slowing her down too, she's never getting to the shelter in time. Through a teacher from Denise's school, she discovers a space ship that has not yet taken off that they can hide in for the blast.

The problem is, passengers need good practical skills to be able to contribute to be allowed on the ship, and Denise is an autistic teenager who doesn't know what she has to offer, nor her mother or sister. Still, she tries her best to secure them passage on the ship.

This book is written by an autistic author, and the autism is very well portrayed here. The story is mostly focused on Denise's relationship with her family and people she meets on the spaceship, and about her autism and the idea of having to contribute. It's not very plot heavy and not very fast paced, and the spaceship doesn't actually take off, it's hidden on Schiphol (Amsterdam airport), and remains there after the impact, after which Amsterdam is flooded. I imagine if disaster strikes, that is likely because Amsterdam is below sea level.

I would recommend this mainly for the autism representation, if you're looking for something fast paced with a lot of plot this one isn't for you.

Next up is the Darkness Outside Us, which is a survival story set in space

Ambrose is a trained astronaut. When his sister's distress beacon goes off on Titan where she was the first human to settle, a rescue missue is launched, and Ambrose is chosen to go find her.

But the rescue doesn't go as planned. Ambrose wakes up on the space ship with no memory of the launch, and it turns out there's a second part of the ship with a second astronaut he wasn't aware of, a spacefarer from a different country who locks himself in his own part of the ship and wants nothing to do with Ambrose. And the ship's a worn down mess, with lots of repair jobs Ambrose has to do.

To survive and succeed in the rescue, Ambrose and Kodiak, the other spacefarer, will have to work together.

This book is YA, but a lot of goodreads reviews will tell you it reads more as adult. I'm not sure if that's true, since YA is mainly determined by the age of the main characters, who are teenagers in this book, but if you're more interested in adult sci-fi I think you might still like this book.

There is a lot of emphasis on the themes of survival, isolation, and humanity and bonds between humans, it does get more philosophical than some other books on this list. Ambrose and Kodiak are completely alone on their spaceship, they only have each other, and much of the focus is on that. Their relationship also becomes romantic at some point.

The book is divided into 5 or 6 different parts or so, with the first one being the longest, and I won't say what divides them as that'd be a huge spoiler. However, as you go from part 1 into part 2 you're going to be very confused. It makes little sense, until it does, and I thought this was a very intriguing idea.

Last book on this list is Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

Iron Widow is the first book in a duology with book 2, Heavenly Tyrant, coming out this August. The book is a reimagining of Empress Wu, the only female emperor in Chinese history, and many of the characters are based on Chinese historical figures. However, the setting is a futuristic sci-fi world inspired by ancient Chinese culture.

Huaxia has been under attack by aliens called Hunduns for many generations. The only way to fight them is with a chrysalis, a sort of robot that is piloted by a couple of pilots. Their shapes are based on Chinese mythological animals, such as the nine tailed fox and the vermillion bird.

The chrysalises are piloted by male pilots, paired up with a female concubine-pilot. No one really cares that the girls very often die.

Wu Zetian offers herself up as a concubine pilot after her sister was killed by a powerful male pilot outside of battle, to get revenge. And she gets it in an unexpected way. When she goes into battle with the pilot, she kills him through their psychic link and is labeled an Iron Widow, a female pilot who can sacrifice boys to power up a chrysalis.

She's paired with Li Shimin, the strongest male pilot in Huaxia, and the most controversial as he was on death row for killing his father and brothers and his execution has been postponed indefinitely because he's so powerful.

But Zetian won't let him kill her or tame her, she's had a taste of power and she won't stop until she's destroyed the system that treats girls as disposable.

Zetian is kind of unhinged in the best way. After she killed the first male pilot, she yells something like "I'm your nightmare" on camera, and I love her for it. She's definitely a morally gray character, but very easy to root for because she's pissed off because of the patriarchy and wants to take it down.

The two other major characters in this book are Shimin and Yihzi. I already talked a little about Shimin before. Yihzi is Zetian's secret boyfriend at the start of the book, and at some point while Zetian's paired up with Shimin he shows up again. His super power is that he's rich, his father is the richest man in Huaxia. At some point he literally says "You can't shoot me, I'm rich". He seems like a very sweet guy but he can actually be quite brutal when he wants to be.

All three main characters are bisexual and end up being in a polyamorous relationship which I really liked. The author described this book as 400 pages of Zetian and Shimin suffering while Yihzi has the most bisexual time of his life.

@alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @astriefer @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @bottomdelioncourt @ikissedsmithparker

[magpiefngrl]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for tagging me @alleycat0306!

1.How many works do you have on ao3?

53 revealed and 4 hidden fics. (I've also deleted several.)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

387,408 words. Most of my works are fairly short.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for a few. I was active in drarry for years. My most recent non-drarry ones were wangxian (MDZS/CQL).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(all drarry)

dirtynumbangelboy

The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy

The Full Monty

Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There

Kiss on cheek: one galleon

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, except that on multichapter fics I only respond to the final chapter comments. I love and cherish each comment, though, and they make me more happy than I can express.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Death You Carry. It's an MCD terminal illness fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics end happily. The most happy... Well, DNAB I've mentioned above, I think that ends pretty happily, but I'd add The Unquiet Grave too, because the drarry relationship in it is very joyful (imo).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never got hate. The worst has been some entitled comments, or a bit rude and thoughtless. A recent one was like that. Occasionally, one or two people mentioned something they didn't like or understand in my story and that led to interesting discussions.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Idk what kind, the er...normal one?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No crossovers, no, though I've written a fic with a strong Captive Prince vibe (and some Easter eggs for CaPri readers) and a fic inspired by wangxian. So, MDZS Easter eggs there too.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once someone screenshot dirtynumbangelboy and posted it on instagram, in groups of 10 pics. Does that count?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Me and @bixgirl1 sort of talked about it back in the day, but I'm so idiosyncratic I'd be a terrible co-writer. I can't imagine doing it with anyone other than Bix, tbh.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

All time favourite is wangxian. I know it's a fairly recent ship for me, but they've hooked me deep.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I started a post-Hogwarts/kinda Eighth Year drarry fic a few years ago. I still have a vivid impression of the fic's world and the intensity I was going for, but no idea of the plot (typical) and, for a few other reasons, I'll never finish it. It's a shame because I meant it as a gift to a very dear fandom pal.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mood, atmosphere, my prose and my turns of phrase tend to be what readers comment on. I've written a few fics people thought were funny. I like my dialogue a lot.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot usually. I think, the end result perhaps doesn't read as bad as I make it, but plot can stall me for AGES. It doesn't come naturally to me, at all.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Love it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Pynch from The Raven Cycle.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Probably 9 ½ Days (drarry)) ; it starts like this (pynch) ; and the unfinished secret desires (wangxian). Oh and the HP but non-drarry Black sisters fairytale The Glass Hearts. really love this last one.

Tagging everyone who wants to do this! <33

[wavesmp3]

shawna!!! i picked up “the sea is yours to take” and genuinely so In love with your world building! can i know how you plotted the story out or how this world even emerged :OO

omg genuinely so excited to answer this ask, like you have no idea. i pulled out my laptop for it hehe

so as a disclaimer i must start by saying that i first started creating this fic and the world around it in 2019 (which can you believe was 5 years ago lol) AND i haven't really revisited all my notes since i was working heavily on this world in 2020 AND my notebook with all the details and brainstorming i did is at my parents' house and therefore do not have access to for the time being...

all of this to say that i am a little muddy on all of the nitty gritty details, but we continue forward nonetheless!

so as i said the initial idea that turned into this world came to me in the summer of 2019 in a silent chapel in the form of this drabble

(which, a note on the silent chapel part lol, i'm not a very religious person and i had never been to one before that but i think going to a place like that and thinking of the drabble there is why the piece has a strong emphasis on religion and like religious institutions, a lot of which was inspired by catholic ideologies such as the very idea of seven sins and seven gifts. and a lot of the emphasis on the religious beliefs of that world might not be as obvious in 'the sea is yours to take' (tsiytt) but it has more importance in the other installations (read: the world is ours to remake, posted as an original work somewhere on my blog as well as the crown is his to wear which was supposed to be the third and final installation that i never got around to writing rip)

but back to the point -- the drabble kind of set up the main plot which, to put it briefly, is that there is a king who is up to no good so much so that his own son is looking to overthrow him.

(note that the drabble was slightly different when originally posted and had been edited after the fact once i had created the entire world and overarching plot, but it was mainly the same as it stands right now apart from the naming of a couple things. fun fact: the gifts were called the virtues in that drabble)

and from there i kind of let my mind run wild.

i can't remember if i did most of the plotting/creation of that world during 2019 summer or if i did it during 2020 summer, but the main point is that i had almost a full year of just on and off thinking about this piece and this world

so from there (ignoring the timeline of all this world building) it was mainly just figuring out the answers to a whole bunch of questions like: why is the son trying to overthrow the king? what is the 'no good' that the king is up to? why did the prince seek out this other character in the drabble? what does that character know that can be of help? how or why do they specifically know it?

and it continued and continued like that for a long time until i had a pretty good understanding of what i wanted the plot to be. and because of the nature of the overarching plot with the plans to overthrow the king it kind of also did a lot of the world building too. i again had to ask and answer questions like why are all the sins and gifts apart from fortitude dead? why would the nomads know something that the rest of this world doesn't? why have the nomads ceased communication with the rest of this world? and a ton of other questions and answers that literally wouldn't even make sense with what is discussed in tsiytt but kind of helped informed what tsiytt needed to set up for following installations to make sense.

(note: kind of hate the naming of the nomads and the nomads land, it just feels wrong and a bit offensive of a word to use in the context that it is. i was young and really the only thing i was thinking about was the fact that it sounded like no mans land)

anyways this whole lengthy explanation is again just to say that i knew a certain couple of scenes needed to happen to drive the plot forward: like not knowing why fortitude sent the prince away, fortitude killing lord seth, the ending scene, and then a couple others that i won't say because they're probably spoilers.

and from there i just got to add in scenes to build out the love story as well as the characters. i wasn't following a very serious outline (especially when i started to write in may 2020) but rather just following my heart and letting words and scenes come out as i was writing them. but then because i was just thinking about this world and this piece so much i started to think up scenes that i wanted to write that would only happen much later. and so from there i was following a very loose outline. which was really just a whole bunch of bullet points of scenes i wanted to add. like they were so unserious. and to show how unserious, here is a sc i pulled of them (thank you google doc version history)

LOL

anyways i think that's kind of all i have to say right now, but i could really talk about that piece and that world for years, there is so much depth that will unfortunately never leave my little brainstorming notebook. even details like the zalazar river have so much more history and meaning to it than is explored or even brushed on in tsiytt.

i really apologize that this got so long (and if you can believe it, this is me trying to keep it short) and if it makes absolutely no sense. but if you have more questions or things you wanted to discuss or ask pls pls pls go right ahead. my ask box or dms are always open!! i love any excuse to talk about this world and these characters. they're my heart.

[rhyssands]

oct 30 - to understand

prompt: seance rating: m wordcount: 1,040 characters: Sans, Flowey warnings: past character death prompt from this post, read it on ao3 here

——

Once a monster is dead, that's it: they're gone, and there's no coming back from that.

Hell, honestly, from the moment a monster starts Falling Down, there's no coming back. There's no bringing back a dusted monster. Plain and simple.

... Except that that's not necessarily true, is it?

Flowey came back.

Despite all his insistence that he's no longer Asriel, Flowey is definitely what's left of the prince of all monsters. All his memories, at least, and buried somewhere under his self-denial there is still Asriel's vulnerable emotional core.

Sans wasn't alive yet when Asriel and Chara died — honestly, that was way before his time —, but he knows Asgore and Tori and both of them have, at some point or another, talked about their kids. Listening to and watching people is his thing, it's what he does, even if everyone kind of assumes all he does is take naps and crack bad jokes.

That's fine, he wants people to think that.

Point is, though, that Flowey came back.

Asriel's dust getting on those stupid golden flowers, among other things, brought him back.

Sans wishes he understood how it happened, wishes he could repeat the experiment, hopefully with better results.

But even if he could, it'd all require he have the dust of the monster he'd be trying to bring back, and that's just not possible. Gaster's dust, for better or worse, got mixed in with all the other sediment in the CORE. There's nothing left of him at all.

There's a bitter sort of poetic irony in the fact that Gaster's dust didn't just get spread across his beloved creation: it became part of it.

Sans would prefer that he'd never died at all, but hey. He'll take what he can get.

Still, all the parading around of dead stuff in the autumn on the surface makes him wonder.

What's life without a little scientific curiosity?

He doesn't make a lot of trips back to the Underground, these days. Five years on the Surface mean he has increasingly less reasons to venture on down that way — pretty much everyone lives topside now, so he has nobody to visit regularly, and he's all but given up on the Machine.

But there is one monster for sure left in the Underground.

As he steps out of the Ruins and into the cavern the human children fell into to get down here, he sees precisely the plant he was thinking of. There, among the other (inanimate) flowers, sits Flowey.

Sans and Flowey, as a general rule, don't get along all that well. It has more to do with Flowey taking advantage of Papyrus than the fact that Flowey is a genocidal maniac and Sans is a Judge. Sans tries not to do too much Judging outside of the Hall, and if being occasionally genocidal exempted someone from his affection then Frisk would be screwed. Meanwhile, he imagines Flowey just doesn't like that Sans can see right through his bullshit and doesn't tend to take any of the bait he lays down.

"What do you want?" Asks the flower, giving him an annoyed look. It's considerably less acidic than the last time they talked, which was about a year and a half ago. "You don't normally bother to come visit."

That's true. Sans only saw Flowey the last time because Frisk practically dragged him here.

"Eh, don't get your roots in a twist, pal." Sans says, "Ain't exactly a social call. Just got a few uncomfortable questions for you if you can be-leaf that."

"Ugh." Flowey says, definitely in response to the word-play, "Fine. Whatever gets you to leave faster."

"Cool. I'm just gonna cut the bullshit and skip right to the most important question, then." Sans tells him, seeing a flicker of surprise on the flower's face before he asks, point blank, "How did this happen, exactly? If every monster whose dust got scattered on some plants came back, we'd have a way bigger problem than just you."

Flowey stares at him.

Stares some more.

Says, lowly, "Why the fuck do you want to know?"

There's nothing but thinly veiled anger and suspicion in his face, and Sans gets it — a guy who historically doesn't like you all that much asking how you came back to life probably does set off some alarm claxons, especially when you know that particular guy used to work for the Royal Scientist and has a little more awareness of the timeline and how to manipulate it than your average joe.

He shrugs, puts his hands up in a placating gesture. Answers, "Look, kid, I'm not gonna do anything. That's not how I operate. But... Call it scientific curiosity — I don't understand how you're possible, and I want to."

"So you can stop it from ever happening again?" Flowey guesses, taking him at his word with surprising ease.

"Again, not how I operate." He says, "Doing stuff isn't my style, Flowey, you know that."

"Then why?"

"So I can understand." He says, then, deciding to show his hand a little more, sighs. "... I've been thinkin' about somebody I lost a long time ago. Nothing anybody can do would ever bring him back. But it makes me feel better to examine every possible method to reassure myself it isn't possible."

Flowey stares at him for another long moment. Sentimentality usually isn't the way to get a proper reaction from him. Even five years out from the Barrier breaking, he insists he doesn't have emotions, that he isn't Asriel. Trying to appeal to his softer sentiments does nothing but make him double down and shut himself off emotionally from the conversation.

Only Frisk usually manages to get any measure of emotional reaction from him.

Sans isn't really trying to get anything emotional out of him.

... But the flower stares at him in silence, and something crosses his face too quickly for even the judge to catch. Then, he sighs, sort of half-wilting. Sans sees too many emotions in his face, totally open and not hiding at all, to parse them out properly. He thinks he catches some kind of mournfulness, some bitterness as well.

"Right." Flowey says, straightening, "Then listen up. I'm only gonna explain once."

Sans listens up.

[drconstellation]

Since this seems to be the topic of the day, let me show my growing list of what I call "reasons that point to Crowley being a former seraphim." He could technically be called a former "prince of heaven" in this regard, because I'm pretty sure he was equal to Gabriel and Beelzebub (whatever their angel deadname was) at the time, and also if you want to get really technical, Aziraphale's status as a Principality also means he is a prince of sorts - its in the title. So there are different kinds of celestial princes - we could be looking at a deception in the Metatron's words. Also we know Aziraphale has moved around in the rankings, and if we look at the Raphael story Raphael was promoted to a seraphim and had a name change when he did. All good there, things fit at the moment.

I'm not going to put any claim on Crowley's deadname, because I don't think it's relevant, his status and ranking is/was far more important in the larger scheme of things. He wasn't Lucifer - that's Satan, and he's not Raphael - that's Aziraphale, so lets get that out of the way right now.

What's on my list? I've posted some of this before, but it was only about 12 items long at the time. It's up to 20 21 at the moment, collected together from my own observations and other ops posts, so its a collective work of sorts.

In no particular order:

The purple/lilac colour when he starts his nebula. This is associated with Gabriel as well, as Supreme Archangel, and although the "Word of God" is he stole the colour from Elizabeth Taylor, I would like to point out that she didn't exist until about 100 years ago...Purple is a Royal colour.

Access to a "book" when he made his nebula (you could argue this one out as a bit random)

He was part of the 25 Lazurii miracle, when they are normally preformed in mili-Lazurii

He says "How do you know it wasn't me?" to Shax, in reference to the 25 Lazurii miracle.

He is the only angel or demon who can stop time.

When he is taunting Shax in the book shop doorway he says "Maybe you will see an archangel."

He can open Gabriel's file in Heaven, which only a Dominon, or Throne or above can do.

He knows the passwords of the above.

Saraqael worked with him on the Horsehead nebula  - Saraqael is an Archangel, also wears the purple in her tartan and recalls exactly who he is.

He tells Aziraphale he "I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do." This infers he has some understanding of that level of the Ineffable Bureaucracy.

Dove/oystershell grey outfit in Heaven = Archangel status

S1 he mentions he was hanging out with Lucifer and the guys.

He questions Beelzebub about the Book of Life being real, about scaring the cherubs with it - there is an inference that they were equals at the time of doing this. Lord Beelzebub was a high ranking angel before the Fall, they are Satan's right hand Demon for a reason.

He is often seen wearing silver, especially after the Arrangement kicks in. Silver is associated Gabriel, the Supreme Archangel. It's all there through S1 if you pay attention, and actually looks a bit odd for a demon when you think about it... there is quite a few connections to Gabriel, actually...

The lightning bolt anger response - again, only seen again with Gabriel when he arrives at Tadfield Airbase in anger (I know there is some argument for Hastur calling lightning down on the Tadfield manor to start the fire, but I would ask you to consider this in context.)

Shax calls him an "arch-traitor" during the Battle of the Bookshop

Red is a colour of the Seraphim. I've pointed out in my colour meta that red is not necessarily a demonic colour, its more an indication of devotional passion. And he's still devoted to God.

He doesn't bother to tell Aziraphale his name in Before the Beginning, because he assumes that he is important enough for Aziraphale to know it

Only one confident enough with power would be willing to rock it in the first place eg ask questions, because they wouldn't think that they could fail.

When he wants to in S2 he just takes over with confident authority and expects to be obeyed eg He yells at the demon legion approaching the bookshop that they are out of order, he tells the assembled archangels and Dark council members that there will be no war, because they are all idiots, and he then stops Maggie and Nina being turned in pillars of salt and takes them outside. Shax still defers to him, too - oh, she's hungry to take over but she knows that he's got the edge on her.

The suspicious special treatment he seems to get from Hell. Furfur spelt it out, really:

No, what's ridiculous is demons like you doing what they please. And somehow still getting on, while demons like me graft for hundreds and hundreds of millennia and never get a sniff of a promotion!

I mentioned once its like Hell is happy to have Crowley out of the way and out of sight, because then it wont remind them of what happened during the Great War and Fall - there is still some guilt associated with it and what happened there, and with Crowley in particular. I've been trying to explore that with my Future Echoes of the Past metas recently [The Great War] [Newt/Crowley] [Not Even at Gunpoint], but as I've discovered some crucial parts of the story is still missing, we've only been given the basics so far. As long as he doesn't cross the line too far, like he did with Elspeth, he's left alone. Plus Beelzebub, while disagreeing that they have an agreement to leave Crowley alone after Armagedon't, says "I can put a price on your head any time I want," - but they crucially do not, they stay their hand, and has a cajoling little "chin wag" with him instead.

Edit (from suggestion below by musingsofmaisie): Hmm yes, this is a good one to go last. So many connections to Gabriel, isn't there...

22. During the watching of Gabriel's trial in Heaven, when Gabriel says " I'm the only first order archangel in the room--or in the universe" and the camera pans to Crowley's face and holds there, his expression completely impassive. (With the inference that there are perhaps two right at that moment...? Hmmm)

Really hoping we get the answers in S3. So many questions!

The idea of Crowley previously being a very powerful angel and still carrying around shards of that power is just so delicious to me. I'm a sucker for characters who aren't at all what they used to be. Underdogs who were obviously once a Big Deal, and you can't see it most of the time, until some improbable bit of classified knowledge or mention of higher connections leaks out. Especially if they really don't like to talk about it or dwell on who they were, if for one reason or another, they want to leave it all in the past.

I have had a feeling about Crowley since season 1. His position on Hell's hierarchy is relatively low, so it's not immediately apparent at first. But things stood out. How he bends reality to his will without seeming to even think about it, sometimes even without realizing. He decides it would be funnier if the paint guns were real guns, but also makes sure no one actually gets shot. This seems to take no effort or concentration on his part; it's done almost offhandedly. Or how he drives the Bentley through a wall of fire, keeping it from falling apart by sheer determination, while the much higher-ranking demon in the seat next to him is discorporated in seconds. Almost as impressive is how he negotiates London traffic, which from what I've heard is a borderline miraculous feat normally, let alone at 90 miles per hour.

And of course, the time stopping. Something even Aziraphale apparently isn't capable of. Something that, with a particularly fierce effort, literally stops Satan in his tracks. The sort of power wielded by a cosmic engineer who once needed it to do his job - 'I helped build that one,' he says, eyes a little distant as stares at a picture of a nebula - and he still carries it with him, skulking around on Earth, far from the cosmos he helped to create. Having let go of most of the rest, even the memories of it, burying them with the person he used to be. He's changed who he is but he can't change what he is, and if you cracked open that lowly serpent, you'd be blinded by the starlight within.

[mr-dirtlord]

hello! do you have any tips for painting? :D

hello! I'm not sure that I'm qualified to give advice (and painting is a huge topic!) but I can point you in the direction of resources that have helped me improve!

back when I was first trying to figure out how to even go about learning how to paint, an artist I admire (salamispots) recommended marco bucci's 10 minutes to better painting series and it feels cheesy to say but it was kind of life-changing? I hadn't really ever thought about things like edge control, and shape, and the way that light works! it was an instant boost to the way I thought about painting

I also joined the warrior painters discord about a year ago when I first did the plein airpril challenge, and I'm not sure where I'd be without them. it's such a friendly community focused on general art improvement, though there is a focus on background painting since many of the professional artists there are bg designers and painters, but it's been so helpful to have a place to go to for critique and other artistic resources. it also helps with motivation - easier to keep going when it feels like there are other people on the journey with you!

for gouache, I'd highly recommend checking out james gurney's youtube if you don't already know him - I think he's probably most famous for his book Dinotopia, but he's also a prolific gouache plein air painter. and he posts his process regularly on youtube! nathan fowkes too is one of my inspirations, he's worked on films like prince of egypt and shrek, but also does watercolor/gouache plein air. he doesn't have as many free resources available as james gurney (that I know of) but has fantastic self-paced classes on schoolism if you're willing to drop the money on the subscription

tonko house's painting with color and light course on schoolism also. I haven't finished it yet (it's all painting from life and was a lot of work for me to keep up with at the time) but even doing half of the class taught me so much!

I think if I were to sum this all up, the biggest tip I've received and would want to reiterate is to paint from life! I found it hard to believe when I kept hearing it over and over until I started doing it myself. even if you want to paint from imagination, painting from life helps you build an understanding of how light interacts with color, and you can then take that knowledge and apply it to whatever you want. I used to think still lifes were stuffy and that if I wanted to draw characters, why should i have to paint fruit? and honestly I thought people who posted random studies were just flexing........but no! it does actually help so much (crazy). color eventually became a relative thing that I could play with, instead of something overwhelming that I felt like I was constantly floundering through

so yeah! phew. I hope that there's something in here that helps you, and sorry this took so long to answer! I had to think about it a while and then I didn't have reliable internet for a couple weeks. if more free resources come to mind I'll share them, but this is what I thought of first!

[literallink]

Not sure if anyone has asked already, but I would love to learn more about your SUPER BIG little linked universe warriors fanfiction. :)

HEEHOOHEEHOO OHOHOHOHO YOUVE DONE IT! YOUVE INDULGED ME! I AM ABSOLUTELY VIBRATING WITH SO MANY IDEAS MWAH I LOVE YOU I AM KISSIM YOU ON THE MOUTH!!/p

n ee ways WAHOOGA this "little" idea started around 1 month ago. Upon finding out that Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition is NOT canon BOOOOOOOO i have decided that fuck it if hyrule warriors isn't canon ANYTHING is canon. or rather, you can do anything in hyrule warriors and it would be supposedly canon in its own universe.

and that's how my most genius idea began: "Warriors is Hylia's OC Do Not Steal," the series. Wait no come baCK I SWEAR ITS GOOD-

"Warriors is Hylia's OC Do Not Steal" is a series about Warriors being absolutely ANYTHING, mostly due to Hylia's interference. It's like those "Prince Wild" or "Legend is Fable's brother" fics, except those are more noticeable trends while Warriors isn't really worked upon beyond the canon events inside his game. Aside from that really good Storyteller!Warriors fic, amazing Mailman!Warriors series and your local wingfic Warriors is pretty much a dot on the Linked Universe AUs. While yes there are LU aus including the whole chain, it's hard to find a Warriors-centric one that wasn't last year or 2020. So god bless silvercaptain they deserve this mention.

To touch more on the WHODNS series (a working title send help) ill have to explain the series within the series first. Basically, I am going to put Warriors into so many situations and some of them will end up getting me so hyperfixated that I will be forced by my own hand to make a series for it. I actually have a series inside WHODNS in the works right now called "Seventeen," I might make a masterpost about all my ideas sooner or later. You're free to ask for now though!

Seventeen is a Warriors-centric series wherein his connection with the royal family and therefore the Zeldas seem to be more intimate than one would think. And no, not THAT kind of intimate. All ships are the canonwise ones currently and never the main focus of the story.

The Zeldas play a somewhat important role in this story, considering the fact that they're actually joining the chain for their adventure. Why? Connected to the plot I can't say shit (..I need help to come up with a name for a group of Zeldas though).

Here's a sneak peek of the first work in the Seventeen series called "I Used to Kid Myself in this Dress." Yes. It's based off of the MARINA and the Diamonds song.

The portals are acting weird. And by that, they’re forcing all the Zeldas to join the chain on their quest to…no one’s really sure, actually. Every Link agrees that they’re happy to finally have their lover, friend or even sister by their side. Except Warriors.

Because his Zelda isn’t even with them at all.

Or 9 times the Zeldas had a less than pleasant interaction with our resident “ladies’ man,” and one time a Zelda actually took the time to understand him and break that stereotype

Not my favorite work of the series (I have like, 2 more), but it IS the first one. The one after this is called "Rise of a King (Fall of a Queen)," which has my favorite summary so far. Both are currently in the works! "I Used to Kid Myself in this Dress" will have 10 chapters, while "Rise of a King (Fall of a Queen)" are still undecided.

Maybe if people like the idea I'll release the summary for "Rise of a King (Fall of a Queen)."

Alright! Time to rant. Warriors' game is a GOLDMINE for multiple situations. As sad as it is that its not canon it baffles me that no one has thought of the possibilities for it in writing (I have a post for it right here! Although it's more or less just cluttered thoughts).

I hope this post sums it up! Sorry if there are instances where my words don't make sense haha, I'm just really happy that someone bothered to even like my post. My brain was just telling me to write EVERYTHING down but that would spoil the surprise. Have a great day!

[birlwrites]

scrapbook snippet: the ice prince

this is a preview, really, because i'm showing you evan's thought process a few handfuls of chapters down the line as opposed to the current point in ttdl. nonetheless, i felt like posting it now lol.

so: we give evan a chance to tell us what he thinks. truthfully? .......mayhaps.

*

The title of 'Slytherin ice prince' is a recurring one, or at least that's what Evan has gathered from the way his family talks about their time at Hogwarts.

There's no formal decision process—everyone just knows. Slytherin doesn't always have one, although Katherine says Lucius Malfoy thought (mistakenly) that it was him. But Malfoy apparently wears authority like full plate armor, intimidating but clunky. Ten or so years ago, it was a Zabini; twenty years before that, it would have been Abraxas Malfoy if not for some unknown who apparently charmed him into losing the cool exterior. Before that, it was a Nott, and before that, a Pierce, if there's any merit to the stories from Evan's older relatives.

It's never been a Rosier, but that's not a surprise. Rosiers aren't cool or aloof. They're charming, mercurial, even melodramatic. It's a fun way to move through the world, but it used to grate on Evan, knowing that by virtue of his name he was destined to be seen as flighty, shallow, better as a dinner guest than a political ally.

He's used to the idea now. It has its merits.

It wasn't always that way, though. For a short while, Evan wanted to be serious—refused to add to his house's reputation, kept a straight face whenever possible, tried to persuade himself that he didn't care about fun things. When he was little, he'd even vaguely entertained the idea of being the first Rosier ice prince. (Which, in hindsight, probably should have tipped him off that he was a boy, but whatever. He put it together eventually.)

Then he'd met Regulus Black and thrown that idea right out the window.

Everyone just knows, and Evan knew. Even at five years old, bookish and introverted bordering on antisocial, Regulus carried himself like royalty. (Which was hilarious to Evan at the time, because every time a group of children their age would be put in a room together while their parents had lunch or tea, other children would flock to Regulus, which interfered with his reading and made him very snappish. But after a while Regulus stopped snapping, and eventually he stopped sneaking books with him everywhere he went as well. Sometimes Evan misses that Regulus who openly hated being forced to take his nose out of a book, especially when it meant interacting with other people.)

So when Regulus started forming his own personal third side of the war, Evan knew instantly that the Junior Death Eater League or whatever they call themselves (which is probably not the Junior Death Eater League) stood no chance. Regulus would siphon off all of their recruits for himself and leave Mulciber and his friends in the dust, rejected and embarrassed.

It wasn't a move Evan had expected from Regulus of all people. Barty's always itching for a way to get back at his father, and Evan was fully expecting him, at least, to dive wholeheartedly into the Death Eaters. Regulus himself doesn't like getting his hands dirty. Yet there they were, shaking the very bedrock of politics—not just for Slytherin, and not just for Hogwarts, but for the entirety of the British magical world.

Naturally, Evan was suspicious. The question that's been instilled in him since he was old enough to understand it is 'why bother?' Inaction is easier than action, and in this case, it is certainly much safer.

So. Why bother?

Because Slytherin is dominated by the kind of people whose ambitions extend to a Wizengamot seat or a certain number of Galleons in a bank vault or seeing their face on magazine covers. Ambitious, yes, but not the type of people who have books written about them. Not the type of people whose names pass into legend. Not like Regulus, clawing his way to a destiny of his own making.

(And partially of Evan's making, if he gets his way.)

Regulus isn't the type to settle. Not for second best, not for spare, not for mediocrity most of all.

That's 'why bother.'

The point is, Evan's always known Regulus is the prince. All Evan needs to do is make sure there's a place for him in the court. As for what he'll do with it... the beauty is that really, he can do whatever he wants.

Such is the merit of being a flighty, shallow dinner guest. No one pays attention to what he might be doing under the table.

[zyrafowe-sny]

I posted a new (full) chapter of Jody Scab and a transitional interlude drabble! Thanks everyone for the encouragement — I owe a few 2 for 1s for it, but I am so glad I managed to update it again before a significant date.

Here are my files for the week:

The Sad Tale(s) of Jody Scab: This is still a 2 for 1. I've had plot bunnies for the alternate endings and post-scripts for about a year now (some were theories about what might ultimately happen to Jody from when I was beta-ing the original TOH fic in which she was an off-screen OC), and it would be nice to actually get my spin-off done.

Grim Love Stories: I'm still trying to bring back this backburner WIP from about a year ago since it's seasonally appropriate.

Smubbles - Dragontines - Flirting with Death: I'm up to 15 ThanZag Hades drabbles and kind of want to get to 20 ahead of the Dragontines event in February. Most are G/T and anything M will be under a cut. (Not going to share anything E on Tumblr even if I write it.)

Prince Ballister AU: I'm trying to build up a small stockpile of chapters and wrap up at least one of my multi-chapter WIPs before posting any of this on AO3, but I don't want to ignore it and risk plot bunnies fizzling out.

Big Bang Fic Ideas: This is another 2 for 1 since fics need to be kept confidential until September. I'm pretty sure I know the direction I am going in, but am plotting scenes/jotting down potential dialogue.

(Grief Christmas and phantom limb pain are not on list since I'm still catching up, but I like having other WIPs to bounce between when I am stuck. And sometimes, progress on other WIPs helps me get unstuck!)

Here's a snippet from Jody Scab since I rarely get to share from that one:

Jody couldn’t breathe, and was doing her best not to panic and make it worse. (The magic shackles really weren’t helping.) She tried to slowly inhale and exhale as her captors stared at her.

“Did we get a defective one?” a blond-haired witch muttered, and was promptly elbowed by a magenta demon.

“Caffeine,” Jody gasped, and the demon rushed to get her some (undoubtedly stolen) sod-da and help her drink.

She managed to get her breathing under control, but the occasional sod-da wouldn't be a true substitute for her medicine. Jody had already been rationing what remained at Plant Coven Hall, and the raiders didn't exactly let her pack her stuff before they took her away.

“If you want me to grow food for you, then I’ll need a healer or a potions-master.”

“Is that a threat?” a one-eyed green demon asked. “You’re not exactly in a good position to bargain.”

“That's a promise.” She started to cough, proving her point. “I have asthma, and I’ll get too weak to use magic and could die if I don't get treatment.”

Her captors exchanged glances.

“I think the pink house has a healer,” Blondie suggested, and the others nodded grimly.

The next morning, there was a second captive in the cabin, and Jody’s insides were a mix of guilt and relief.

Bex was irritable, but knew a spell that eased the pressure building in Jody's lungs. “You know, I would have just visited regularly in exchange for a cut of the food.”

“No guarantee you’d show up,” the snake-haired witch countered, and Bex only shrugged.

Jody didn't especially enjoy growing food for Blondie, Magenta, One-Eye, and Snake Hair — Travis, Bell, Clyde, and Meddie, she later learned — but she needed to eat, her fellow prisoner was only kidnapped to keep her alive, and she supposed it was somewhat understandable that her captors resorted to raiding and kidnapping to eat too.

WIP Wednesday Game

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

Requested/Friend event mentions under the cut! If you'd like to be pinged next week, send me a message to ask!

Friends @fiore-della-valle @redbirdblogs @greenbergsays @idkfandomwhatever @luckyspike

@obaewankenope @mad-madam-m @anonymousdandelion @geometricfractal @prettybirdy979

@eriquin | Requests @aparticularbandit @madnessfromthemountains @makeroftherunes @1attheedge

@whimsicalmeerkat @kidsomeday @lizhly-writes @skyderman @adhdavinci

@owlbearwrites @anachronismstellar @anyctibius @rilannon @lazinesswrites

@zyrafowe-sny @dreaminghour @blue-eyedbeta @candyskiez @dreamerking27

@kalira @virgulesmith @i-want-delfeur @selkies-world @exceedinglygayotter

@oitreewrites

[syndxlla]

Part eleven of the More To Love series

Summary: You get a chance to reflect on who you are, where you are with your relationships, and what you really want in life with the help of your mother, the Queen of Corellia. You meet some new seemingly friends, who quickly prove you otherwise.

Word Count: 7.1k, NO USE OF ‘y/n’

Warnings: Non-consensual kiss, swearing, alcohol

Author’s note: i am LIVID. why tumblr only lets you have a certain amount of paragraphs in a post IDK! it’s dumb haha and the only reason i went over is because there is so much dialogue in this. BASICALLY. I am making the decision to go easy on myself. I know earlier today I said part 11 would be split into two, but i am going to just make the second half be part 12. SO. i made a new moodboard for this chapter! i hope you like it :).

i wanna say a big THANK YOU to @stinky-child for helping me edit this chapter and getting it out on time!

PART 12 WILL BE RELEASED THURSDAY, MAY 27TH AT 6pm PST, 9pm EST.

part ten

Koska escorted you back to your quarters, the castle corridors were finally starting to calm down a little bit, however, more and more special guests who would be staying in the palace over the weekend walked in and out of doors, most of them not paying any attention to you because of your drab attire. You hoped the knight made it to his meeting on time and dry. There was no way to know until tomorrow morning, however. Koska was silent as she walked behind you, her footsteps much lighter than the knight’s. Your hair was thick and frizzy from the effects of the elements, and you kept your face down out of a foreign sense of shame.

Keeping your face down can’t hide that sense of shame from everyone, however, and before you can make it to your room, you’re hearing a joyful gasp and footsteps pattering in your direction. You look up from your walk of shame to see someone very important to you, it’s not your Knight, it’s not even Soniee, no. It’s your mother, the Queen of Corellia. She’s accompanied by three Corellian guards and she’s wearing the most beautiful yellow gown you had ever seen. It was clearly a gift from Bo-Katan. You smiled brightly, relieved to see someone you love. It had only been a few weeks but it felt like an eternity. You had completely forgotten she would be coming to your engagement ball. You’ve been so preoccupied with the plans and teaching the Knight how to dance that it completely slipped your mind. Your mother had a wide smile on her face, too, and wore the traditional Corellian crown. You ran to her and embraced her fighting around the waist, something that was not appropriate for royalty in public like this but you couldn’t care less. You had been so emotionally confused over the last few weeks that there was nothing you needed more than a fulfilling hug from your parent. She hums with joy when you come into her arms, and she runs her slender fingers through your beautiful hair. You sigh of relief in her embrace.

“I had forgotten you were coming.” You admit, holding back tears of relief. She chuckles in response.

“You look a mess.” She replies and you’re the one to chuckle this time.

“I’ve had quite the day.” You smile, blushing as you remember who you spent it with. “Come, I have so much to tell you.” You pull away, holding her hands in yours and then leading her to the closest sitting room. You were finally starting to understand the layout of the Mandalorian palace, it only took two weeks. This room was the same blue as the royal color, you guide her to sit by you on the sofa, and Koska awkwardly follows. You look over to the handmaiden before standing and walking in her direction. “Lady Reeves, you are dismissed.” You nod while speaking in a regal tone, but after stating it, your voice hushes and you whisper to her, “Is he going to be alright?” You ask in reference to the Knight.

She nods once, “Even if he was late, he’s bound to duty by the Queen, he’ll be okay.” Your stomach twists.

“What does that even mean?” You ask, there is much he is not telling you.

Koska sighs, she seemed to regret saying that. “I’ll worry about him, you enjoy your time with your mother.” She nods to the Queen who was patiently awaiting your return. You smile a “thank you” and walk back to the Corellian Queen. When Koska closes the door finally, you slouch into the couch, feeling pure relief as you were alone with your kin.

“You look absolutely exhausted.” Your mother says.

“I am, life here is exhausting. There are so many rules, much more than back at home.” You awkwardly shrug.

“We miss you.”

“I miss you too, more than you know.” You were so homesick these days. “I had to spend four days learning all the rules and customs and I still take private lessons from the literal queen so I don’t embarrass her anymore.” You roll your eyes, knowing that you couldn’t express this arrogance to anyone else in the palace and taking advantage of the chance now.

“Oh, I'm sorry love, I worried that there might be a bit of a culture shock.” She takes your hand with hers, stroking the stop of it with her own cold hands.

“Is father here?” You ask, your eyes hopeful. That glimmer immediately fades when she sighs, her eyes leaving yours. “What? What’s wrong?”

“He’s not coming…”

“What? Why?”

“He’s… sick, I didn’t want to tell you but it’s your right to know. You would have eventually found out anyway.” She somberly explains.

“Is he okay?”

“Yes, we think so. But traveling and socializing in his condition was not realistic. We understand that rumors will start, but his health is necessary before an impending war.” She frowns, and you try not to let it upset you too much. “Enough of that, tell me about this place.” Her tone immediately flips.

You smile, “It’s so hot, much hotter than Corellia. I mean the heat is exhausting and the dresses are heavy and the tea parties are always outside and I always feel overheated.” You complain.

“Do you at least like the prince?” She asks. “Is he cute?”

Now you must choose if you’re going to lie, like you have for the last fortnight, or be truthful with the only person you feel that you can be. You sigh, and just look at her, defeated, hoping that would be enough to tell her.

She hums empathetically. “Oh dear.”

“Yeah…” You sigh, happy she understood and you didn’t have to make the decision of communication.

“Well, keep your head up, I didn’t really like your father all that much until we had you.” She chuckles.

“What?” You ask, your eyes showing surprise. “I had no idea…” You weren’t sure how much you liked that thought, your parents had always been an example of a couple you’d like to experience for yourself. “Why had you never told me?”

“There was no reason for you to know before now. The older you get, the more you’ll learn what you need to hear.” She explains. You supposed she was right. “And remember, it’s supposed to be a partnership—marriage that is— it’s not so bad if you work at it.”

“Well, he certainly likes being solo.” You humph. “He’s very kind, and it’s clear he cares for his kingdom but-“ You knew you weren’t being completely truthful with her.

“But what?”

You debated your next words. You wanted to tell her, more than anything you wanted your mother to know what was really going on, but you knew you couldn’t. You knew she wouldn’t understand. This marriage is a diplomatic solution to an oncoming war of her home kingdom. She wouldn’t understand the strife. “Nothing.” You feel untruthful to yourself, but you can’t do anything about it. “I just feel like I will be unhappy in our marriage.”

“Marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy.”

You hated that, it wasn’t the first time she had said it to you, either. When an arranged marriage was first brought up, she said it then for the first time. The other time she said it to you was about three weeks ago, just before you were going to leave Corellia and come to this ornate prison. It was your last attempt to try and get out of it, but she uttered those words and you had to live with it.

This time, you pulled your hand away from hers. “But what about love? I thought you loved my father!?”

“I do love him, but that didn’t happen for a long time, like I said, not until you were born.”

“So then what’s the reason for all this? For sending me here for a big ball and a fancy wedding if I am not supposed to love the man I’m sharing these parties with? How am I to enjoy marriage before children then?” You stand up on these words out of frustration. You hated feeling like your only purpose in this world is to bear children, to produce an heir.

“Love between royals is not a natural thing, it can’t just happen between any two people. There must be that connection there and it often isn’t developed for a while.” She chuckles. “What? Did you think you were going to live inside one of those fairytales your wet nurse used to tell you before you went to sleep?” She asks, looking up at you, surprised.

“What do you mean ‘between royals’?”

“We must do what’s best for our people, it’s selfish to marry for love when you are royalty.”

You feel defeated.

“No… No, there's so much more to love. Love is not selfish, in fact, I believe that loving someone with our hesitation and unconditionally is the most selfless act one could ever do.” Your voice raises just a bit. You meant every word you said.

“If you feel this way about love, then surely you must love the Prince. What’s the problem then? We’ve been preparing you for this reality for years, it’s not a new concept that you would not love immediately, I can only imagine you would feel so emotionally because you have those feelings for someone.”

Did you?

You consider what she was saying, your eyes trailing to the side as you thought. You supposed she was right, there would be no reason for you to feel so passionately about it if you hadn’t experienced it for yourself.

But you weren’t having that experience with Korkie, the hell you weren’t.

Did you love the Knight? You don’t know his name, you don’t know his face, you don’t know anything about him and yet you are starting to think that infatuation has grown into adoration. Your legs feel weak, and you have to slowly lower yourself onto the couch again, feeling woozy from the realization. How did you let it get so far? Your confused face turns to look at your mother’s, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open.

“I sense you realized something you didn’t already know.”

You slowly nod your head. Unsure of how to react, you fiddle with your fingers, trying to gain your bearings again. You expect your mother to speak up but she never does.

Before the conversation continues, however, the door is pulled open and three Knights are walking in, a Butler steps in, “Her Majesty, The Queen.” He says before nodding and stepping away. Bo-Katan glides into the room, regal as ever. You and your mother stand up from where you sat, curtsying for your hostess.

“Your Majesty.” She takes your mother’s hand, both of them smiling and kissing one another on either cheek. “I trust your travels were comfortable?”

“Yes, your coachmen were very hospitable.” Your mother nods.

Korkie then enters the rooms with another young Prince who you hadn't met before. He was blonde, and skinny as a twig. He wore a white and gold ceremonial cloak that covered his right shoulder. You smile at Korkie out of Obligation, and he and the other prince bow to the women in the room.

“Princess!” Korkie cheers, “This is my cousin, Prince Hugo of Bespin.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.” He takes your hand and kisses the top of it, his smile charming and blue eyes bright. You were flattered by the gesture, humming.

“The pleasure is mine.” You follow royal protocol. Then, another woman enters the room. She’s tall, an intricate headpiece adorns long, black hair and she has hypnotic, black eyes hidden by deep set, hooded eyes. She’s beautiful, with toned skin and red dots drawn under her lips making her stand out from everyone in the room.

“Ah, Her Majesty Queen Clarya of Naboo.” Bo-Katan introduces. The Elven Queen Ahsoka then enters the room, and everyone, even the Queens bow out of respect before the door is closed. The parlor is suddenly very full, and your intimate moment with your mother is lost entirely. You are suddenly very aware of your disheveled look, and try to run your fingers through your hair a few times.

“It’s lovely to finally meet you.” Clarya says, smiling. “I’ve heard so much about you.” Taking your hand and giving you a friendly squeeze.

“Oh… I’m afraid I haven’t heard much about you.” You apologize.

“No troubles, You are all the gossip among the other Kingdoms.” The eastern queen explains.

“Yes, It appears you are.” Korkie says, moving to stand by your side. “How wonderful that my beautiful wife-to-be is regarded so highly across the world.” He tries to take your hand but you pull it away, not necessarily meaning to, but it was a reflex that you failed to suppress after realizing you were in love with an entirely different man. He clears his throat, and the aura in the room is awkward, you aren’t sure what to do, so you just say the first thing to come out of your mouth.

“Have any of you gone to the beach? It’s lovely!” You awkwardly smile before walking over to the drink cart underneath a portrait of a Manda’lor of a past generation. You try to ignore all the people, feeling a little embarrassed that they were all seeing you dressed like this. You didn’t even think of what suspicion could be born out of that phrase.

“Oh yes, our sandy beaches are widely loved by all.” Bo-Katan takes a seat on the sofa in the place you had sat at just moments before, crossing her ankles under her gown. You shakily pour amber liquid into a crystal glass, your hand shaking as you bring it to your lips, taking a sip of the alcohol.

“Nothing like the Corellian beaches, I assume?” Your mother asks. “Our beaches are rocky and often frozen over.”

“Ah yes, but the Corellian ship fjords are lovely, what a wonderful exposure to culture you raised your daughter with!” Ahsoka sings.

“She turned out alright.” Your mother teases and everyone chuckles warmly. You turn around after drinking, and sheepishly smile. Gods you hope she meant that.

“Well, we are all very excited for the ball tomorrow.” Clarya says, “My assistant worked on a mask for hours the night before we left. It will be an extravagant sight to see everyone dressed so festively.”

“Of course, but we all know none of us can compare to the fashion and extravagance of the Naboolians.” Korkie hums. Everyone chuckles again. You nervously looked out to all of them, you had just made possibly the biggest mistake of your life and none of them paid any attention to you despite it. You had just shown Korkie your first and only sign of true disinterest the night before your engagement ball and you desperately wished you could go back in time and take his hand instead of denying the act of affection, even if you didn’t feel good about it.

“I think you will all be pleased to hear that it was the Princess who came up with the Masquerade idea.” Bo gestures to you. You smile with your teeth, trying to act normal and not like you were secretly dying inside. There is general amusement when that is said, and you can’t help but fidget with the crystal alcohol glass, wanting to leave the room and return to the comfortable embrace of the Knight on the beach.

“Beautiful and smart!” Korkie’s cousin laughs, putting emphasis on the ‘and’. “It’s not every day you find a woman like that!” Everyone laughs again, and this time you force out a faux chuckle to seem more involved in the eyes of the others. “You better hang onto her, Kork!” Korkie smiled at his cousin's words, looking over to you. You feel weak, not liking all the attention. If this much attention was making you feel this way, what would the ball with hundreds of guests tomorrow night be like?

“Yes but, I can’t seem to remember going to the beach with you?” Korkie asks, his diplomatic voice cutting through the laughter. You nervously laugh. He knew something was up. How could you be so careless?

“What? Did I say something about the beach?” You try to play it off cluelessly.

“Oh come on, we all know you aren’t that ditzy.” His cousin groans

“Your fiance asked you a question, dear.” Your mother prods.

“Yes, did you go to the beach sometime during your time here?” Bo-Katan is the one to ask this time, and your legs are starting to feel unsteady.

“It’s not a bad thing, we just want to know.” Korkie takes a step in your direction, making you feel closed in. “We all love the beach here and we are happy you have gotten the chance to enjoy it.” You sensed there was an undertone with his true meaning.

You weren’t sure if you believed him when he said this, “Is it hot in here?” You chuckle, “I think I’ll have another drink, would you like one, Korkie? You ask before turning around and pouring another glass of brandy. He can see how shaky your hand is as you try to fill the cup. He stands behind you, wrapping his arm around you and cupping your hand with his in an attempt to make the pouring more steady. The action startles you, and you flinch as a reaction, dropping the crystal glass in your hand. It was already partially full, and it falls down to the floor in slow motion, golden drink splashing out of it as glass shatters on impact, making a loud, crashing sound that sends shards out across the floor and leaves a puddle of alcohol to soak into the bottom hem of Koska’s sister’s dress. The women of the room gasp from shock, and Hugo walks quickly over to see the mess. You look down at the glass in shock of what you just did, your heart sinking and stomach churning. Lady Tano is the next one to walk over to you, taking you by the shoulders and guiding you to one of the arm chairs, helping you sit down. The room was deathly silent now, you could hear your pulse ringing through your ears. Ahsoka crouches before you, ruling your hand with hers and trying to comfort you from the unexpected shock. Korkies hands are balled into fists. Was he angry with you?

“No worries.” Hugo laughs, trying to be an entertainer, “Butler!” The Butler opens the door.

“Is everything alright?” He asks after bowing.

“Yes, we just made a little mess, would you be so kind as to clean it up?” Hugo walks Korkie, who seems to be just as shocked and embarrassed as you, over to another armchair. The butler snaps and then whistles and three young maids come in, each one getting on their hands and knees to pick up the pieces of glass.

“Princess?” Your mother says, “Do you have something you would like to say to the Manda’lor?” She awkwardly asks, clearly trying to make good from the situation, side-eying Bo.

Your pale face turns to look at Bo, who had that same disappointed frown that you always see on her.

“My deepest apologies, your Majesty.” You clear your throat before painfully looking over to where Korkie sat, his hand resting in his palm and expression down turned.

“Well!” Hugo takes the center of the room. “No use in sitting here in silence, mistakes happen! Right Auntie?” He says to Bo.

“Of course.” She smiles, physically accepting your apology with a reassuring nod.

“Lovely, would anyone like some music?” He asks.

“That would be lovely, Hugo.” Lady Tano says in her ethereal voice. He smiles and walks over to the baby grand piano in the corner of the room, the same baby grand that you played at for your Knight a few weeks ago.

“The Princess plays!” Your mother says, trying to alleviate any tension.

“She does?” Hugo makes direct eye contact with you. “Would you like to play a duet with me?”

“Hugo, she just-“ Ahsoka begins but is interrupted by your mother.

“Oh won’t you play for us Dear?” She asks, smiling.

“Please! I have wanted to hear you play since I was told you could.” Bo-Katan asks. It would be rude to decline a request from the Queen and the Host of the night.

You nod and stand up, that could be just the thing you need to feel better. You walk over to the piano, stopping just before Hugo.

“Bass or Soprano?” He asks, muttering so quietly that only you can hear it.

“Soprano.” You say. He pulls the bench out and sits first since he would be playing the lower part. You then sit next to him, your hands still slightly shaking.

“Do you know the ‘Dathomirian Waltz’?” He asks. You nod. “Lovely, key of D minor then, I’ll follow you.” He pulls his hands up to the keys, and you follow, taking two deep breaths, the first to calm your shaking hands, the second to conduct both of you in at the same time. Together you play a set of intricate chords, Hugo emphasizing on the bass notes, playing a complex scale that brought his left hand over his right several times. You carry the melody, playing just slightly louder than him and allowing yourself to fall into the trance of performing. Your hands finally quit shaking after a few phrases of the music, allowing it to soothe your nerves. Music has always done that for you. All of the nobles in the room smile, the Naboolian Queen sighing at the beauty of the complicated piece. You can’t keep the smile from pulling on your lips. Korkie’s cousin was very talented, much better than you. His hand brushed against yours several times and you couldn’t help yourself from thinking about the Knight when Hugo touches you.

This was something you would never get with him. You would never get to share a memorable moment with others, never get to rub hands against each other in front of three Queens, never get to look one another in the eye without shame or secrecy. The thoughts start to overcome your consciousness, causing you to play a sour note. No one seemed to notice, but you were more aware of it than you should have been.

A beautiful piece, carefully composed and rehearsed, performed with the intent to dazzle, the intent to impress. However there will always be the sour note, an incorrect chord that the audience might not hear but those giving the show will dwell on undoubtedly.

Like the Kingdom of Mandalore.

——————————————

“Rise and Shine your Highness!” A sing-songy voice calls out to you before pulling the long, draping curtains apart and letting the warm Mandalorian sun pour into the room. You groan and flip over onto your side, your body is still exhausted from yesterday evening and you would like to sleep in a little longer.

“Oh, don’t give us that.” A more brash voice groans and you recognize it as Koska’s. You can hear a number of other bodies file into the suite, maybe three or four. The handmaid's pull in the elven dress and a light breakfast. You can still smell the salt water on your forearm as you swing your hand over your eyes. You were not a morning person. Koska walks up to your bed before sitting on the edge of it, placing her tan hand on your shoulder. “We’ve let you sleep in long enough, we have to get you dressed and ready for tea with the Queens.”

“Queens?” You mumble, slurring the ‘s’ out.

“Yup, both Bo-Katan and your mother as well as the Queen of Naboo and Duchess of the Felucian mountain Kingdom are all eager to spend brunch with you in the Garden.” More guests arrived this morning while you were still sleeping, but it wasn’t until Koska explained to you about the women waiting for you that you remembered what day it was. You opened your eyes wide, flopping your arm onto the mattress beside you and looking up at her drowsily.

“The masquerade is today.” You say out of realization. She smirks and slowly nods her head. Soniee budges into your conversation, sitting on the opposite side of the bed.

“We have two dresses for you to wear today! This one,” She pulls forward a gown that isn’t quite as full and round as the dress for the ball, but is still a lovely dress with a pretty skirt and pearls embroidered into the bodice. “And of course the elf dress.” She nods to the pink and gold gown that sat on a sewing-bust, shimmering in the light. “We won’t get you into the ball gown until later tonight.” She hums.

“Now, we have to get you cleaned up, your hair is a mess.” Koska stands up and pulls the heavy down comforter from off of you. The loss of warmth elicits another sleepy groan from your lips and you stare up at the ladies in waiting frustratedly. “Up!” Koska’s serious voice commands and you’re scared enough of her that you jump up out of bed, pulling the nightgown sleeve up that has been slowly slipping down your shoulder and showing more and more skin. “That’s better.” Koska hums, “Let’s get you a bath, yeah?” She walks towards the bath room, opening the golden gilded doors and into the naturally-light room. You will always admire the beauty and effort put into the Mandalorian palace despite the internal battle with living here. You follow her into the room, still sleepy and walking slowly but eventually making it to the tub in the center of the room. The bath has already been drawn, which they must have done in your sleep (they’ve never done that before). You strip out of the cream-colored nightie and dip into the warm water. It smelled of lavender and honey and you allowed your muscles to relax into the bubbles. It was perfect, exactly what you needed to clear your racing and stressful mind. Your muscles were sore from yesterday and the warm water and flowery oils soaked them blissfully. You sigh at the sensation but before you can enjoy it anymore, Koska is dumping the warm water over your head, wetting it completely. It’s unexpected and you gasp from shock, your eyes glued shut to keep the water out of them. Damp hands come up from out of the water to wipe your eyes but then another dump of water is pouring over your head and you’re back at square one. Koska was a much harsher bather than Sonnie was.

All is forgiven however when she starts massaging your scalp, cleaning your hair. You relax back into the tub and enjoy the seawater and wind getting rinsed out. The other ladies come in, one on either side of the tub who files your nails, and Sonnie brings in a towel and silk robe. The other handmaiden works at your calloused feet with a pumice stone and you try not to let it tickle too much. It was true pampering and you loved every second of it. Usually there’s only one maiden to bathe you but five was divine. You assumed this was the treatment the Queen always received.

After you are properly cleaned, your Corellian tea is brought in and you’re left alone for as long as you like. You slowly sip on the purple shaded drink, waking up from it’s comforting properties. You sigh deeply, allowing the fragrant air to fill your lungs while you look out of the tall, narrow window in the center of the outside wall. You could not see the ocean from here, but instead the distant roofs of Keldabe. It was a beautiful summer day, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and you could hear the birds who have nested in the nooks and crannies of the towers chirping. You knew you had a long day ahead of you, and you wanted to try and enjoy it as much as you could. You never really enjoyed the social aspect of royalty, and that’s all today will be, but you’re ready to brave it head on.

An hour passes before you are finally dressed in the first gown of the day. Your hair is braided back so that it will have a desirable wave for the ball tonight. You are snuggly tied into the pearled bodice of the dress, and you run your hands up and down the beading, allowing it to tickle your soft palms.

Koska pulls open the door, and you’re expecting to see the Knight standing there stoically as always, but he isn’t. The hallway is completely empty, in fact, and you can’t ignore the dreadful feeling that overcomes your body. Where was he?

You clear your throat, and look back at Koska, who was adjusting the skirt of your gown as you walked.

“Where is he?” You ask, your voice hushed almost to a whisper but not quite. There were a million possibilities behind his absence and not a single one of them was ideal. Koska lifts up from her crouched position, smoothing the front pleats of her dress.

“What?” She asks and you sigh out of frustration, there was absolutely no way she didn’t know what you were talking about but you had to be vague because of all the ladies in waiting listening in.

“Who will be accompanying me to the garden?” You say with a forceful tone, trying to prod at a deeper meaning to the question.

Luckily, Lady Reeves picks up on it, and she looks behind you. You felt like she was avoiding eye-contact and it only made you more stressed and confused. “I’ll be escorting you, Highness.” She nodded, moving a step forward and then taking the lead down the corridor. You follow hesitantly, and wait until you are far enough down the hall from the other ladies back in your suite to speak again.

“Don’t horseshit me.” You mutter behind her. She keeps her chin up high as usual. “He’s in trouble, isn’t he.”

Koska doesn’t answer.

“Koska, you promised me he would be okay.” You try not to let the emotion show through your tone but that was a challenge. You felt guilty for some reason. If he was in trouble, it would be entirely your fault. The words shake in your throat and maybe it’s the tight corset and the fact that you are descending the stairs but you’re out of breath and it’s hot, so hot.

“He’s fine, I swear to the stars.” She whispers, saying it straight forward instead of turning back at you in an attempt to stay calm and unsuspecting to watchful eyes.

“Well then why didn’t you tell me that?” You ask, twiddling your thumbs.

“I couldn’t… there’s more to it but-“

“But what? What could be so secretive that you have to keep it from your future queen?” You say through gritted teeth and immediately after, Koska is spinning around on the staircase and looking up at you with a furrowed brow. You felt like you were being scolded by an impatient tutor despite the fact that you out-ranked her.

“You don’t even want to be the Queen.” She says in a whisper-shout, starting to sound as angry and emotional as you were just moments before.

“You’re right, I don’t-“ You bite back.

“So why are you here, then?”

You aren’t sure how to answer, the obvious answer is for Corellia. You were promised something in return for your ability to produce an heir and look like a porcelain figurine on a high shelf. But you also knew it would make your family happy, and your Kingdom. You would be making them proud by marrying so rich. You made a promise.

But now you think you’re starting to stay for an entirely different and unethical reason. Something that is inherently a trap and you know it, and yet here you are, fussing over it at every change you have.

Koska rolls her eyes and scoffs before continuing down the stairs.

“Who spit in your porridge this morning?” You reply.

“You did.” She groans in response.

“I’m sorry, but what did I ever do to you?” You ask when you complete the steps down and start down another corridor, one section of the massive palace closer to your destination.

Koska is the one not to answer this time.

It infuriates you that everyone is keeping secrets from you, your entire experience in Mandalore feels built on deception and being left-out. And now, the two people who finally seemed to be on your side aren’t with you in one way or another on such a big day. Koska is angry with you for no reason and you have no idea where your knight is.

The rest of the walk to the Gardens is silent, and before you know it, you are plopped down on an uncomfortable wicker chair in the hot sun, sipping on lukewarm lemon tea and wondering how much longer you have to suffer. Your mother and Bo were giggling about something, the rest of the court buzzing with conversation and ignoring you as always. Was it possible that you were the problem? You ask yourself this after another sip of the tea, a lemon slice bumping up against your upper lip a few times. As you think, you hold the dainty cup against your mouth, losing yourself in thought without realization. Your pretty eyes stare down at the green grass of the Garden. The grass never gets green back home.

You start subconsciously bouncing your leg as you thought to yourself. Everyone seemed to ignore expect for Korkie and your Knight— who both want to fuck you. Maybe that was the only desirable thing about you. This wasn’t the first time you felt insecure about the relationship you have developed with the Knight. He’s so quiet, so different from you. Were you falling for a trick?

Was he?

Tea must have gone by fast because just before the pearls of your dress start to burn against your arms from the heat exposure, you’re excusing yourself and wandering back inside.

“Strange girl.” One of the noble ladies says to Bo when you walk away. You don’t hear it, you can’t hear anything except for your deafening thoughts.

“Are you sure she’s the one for your nephew?” Another asks. If you had known your mother was silent for all of this in fear of losing her reputation or even the deal between Corellia and Mandalore, you would have been furious.

“Well his father was an outcast, too.” One chuckles. “I guess you Kyrze’s attract the wallflowers.” A few hummed in amused response.

“Well his father wasn’t just an outcast, he was a downright scandal-“

“My sister loved him, and that is all that matters.” Bo interrupts. The laughter quickly dies out.

“Don’t tell me you believe in love, too.” One laughs.

“You aren’t married, what could you know of love?” The same one bo interrupted says.

“I do believe in love, which is why I am not married.” The Queen reiterates. “And I don’t think she’s the right fit for my Nephew, she’s too… outspoken. He needs someone who won’t outshine him.” They chuckle again, all do but your mother, who is still meekly silent.

“Well with the engagement Ball tonight, it is far too late to back out now.” One teases, and the laughter only grows.

Bo-Katan stares in the direction you left.

You huff down the hall, your arms folded and neck sweaty from the heat. You are looking back and forth, studying the layout of the hall in search of something. You’re looking for the smallest idea of where the knight could be but you aren’t very successful.

While all the fully armored guards of the Mandalorian palace are dressed identically, you are almost certain you would be able to spot your boy in a crowd of a thousand of them. You aren’t sure why, but there is something different about him, something that sticks out from the rest. Somehow you two were connected, and it made it so he was always plaguing your mind, even when you are with your literal fiance. Even when you are far away from him and have no clue where he is for the first time in two weeks.

Separation Anxiety.

You aren’t watching where you’re going, which makes you run into a tall, lanky boy. You yelp out in apologetic surprise, looking up at the person blocking your stressed search. A blonde boy flips around to look at you and you’re half expecting to see Korkie but it isn’t.

His Cousin, Hugo, looks down at you with his same charming smirk as always.

“Princess!” He bows.

“My apologies, Hugo!” You exclaim.

“Oh please, you are perfectly fine. You looked distressed? I hope It was not something I did?”

“Of course not!” You reassure, awkwardly smiling. “Uh- may i ask what you were doing in the center of the corridor?”

He chuckles, “Admiring this art.” He nods to an expansive, framed oil painting on the wall. It was of a tall man with a long face and alarming smirk. What stuck out to you, however, was that he held in both hands the same black sword from the royal portraits upstairs by the war room.

“The art is beautiful here.” You smile.

“Yes, my Aunt Satine worked hard to make it culturally rich.”

“Did you know her?”

“Yes, I am a bit older than Korkie, and I knew her for several years before she passed.”

“Are you… second in line?”

“I am.” He says with a classic amused smirk.

“So maybe you can answer a question for me, then.” You ask as you look up at the art. “What in the world is that?” You ask in reference to the blade.

“That, my foreign Princess, is the Dark Sword of Mandalore.”

“The what?” You cluelessly ask.

“A sacred weapon that the rightful ruler possesses, it’s rather powerful.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it before.” You look up at it in awe.

“Hah, yes. It is made of pure obsidian. The white is enchanted quartz veins. It is practically invincible, an elven Mand’alor forged it when he was just a boy.”

“What? There were Mandalorians who were part elf?” You ask, your eyes peeling off of the art and onto your companion.

He looks at you almost confused, “There is much you do not know about my Kingdom?”

“No… I’m afraid not.” You shamefully admit.

“Most don’t,” He shrugs and returns to the conversation unbothered, “It’s history is rather complicated.”

The two of you were quiet for a long time. Your eyes were glued to the stern face of the man in the portrait. You wondered who he was. Hugo is the first to speak up.

“You played beautifully last night.” You doubted he didn’t notice the incorrect notes and mistakes you made several times, maybe he was just being polite by ignoring them. You turn to look at him and smile kindly.

“As did you.” You return the compliment. He looks at you, and you must have been distracted by something other than him because you weren’t aware that his eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips.

Hugo forces a kiss on you.

Just like how Korkie did a few weeks ago in the library. It’s fast because you angrily pull away just as fast as he placed it on you.

“What?” You say like an idiot, looking up at him in shock.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t feel it?” He gets defensive immediately. The worst part is that it wasn’t even that bad of a kiss, much softer than Korkies, but nowhere as tender as the kisses the Knight would lay on you in the water or behind a closed door. Your entire body seemed to seize up, and you couldn’t get any words out. Not any words that you wanted to say. You just looked up at him, vulnerable and confused. He leans down to do it again but you’re able to turn your head to the side, keeping his lips off of you.

“I am… in love with another man.” You say, clearing your throat.

“You and I both know that isn’t my cousin.”

No use denying it at this point, “yes, but I am still engaged to him. I cannot just be disloyal to the future Mand’alor.” You mutter, embarrassed but trying to keep your cool. You knew you were lying, because you weren’t staying loyal to Korkie. No, you were outright cheating on him and you were falling in love with the boy you were cheating with. You were falling in love. You were very exposed, after all. Anyone could turn the corner or look through the windows and see you. It was different this time, however. Usually hiding your kisses are exciting, but that was only with the Knight. “Please,” You voice betrays you, and the emotional shake is heard through your clenched jaw, “Excuse me.” You push passed him frustratedly, making sure to shove him over a little with your shoulder. You angrily walk back to your room, finally getting there without help for the first time.

When you turned down the Corridor to your suite, you were hoping to see the beskar-clad boy who held you last night, but he still wasn’t there. You hold back emotional tears, but not seeing the one who brings the most comfort to you makes you break. Two crystal tears roll down your cheeks.

You have been taken advantage of too many times in this forsaken castle.

You pull open the door, the golden afternoon light reflecting warmly off of the gold-leafed furniture and decorations is a stark contrast from the bleak hallway. Your bed has been made, and things have been tidied up since you were in here last. You flop onto the mattress, your arms stretched out from your sides, looking up at the sheer canopy above where you lay.

Two hours pass. You think you fell asleep but you cannot remember. If you did, no dreams were had.

Soniee opens your door with trepidation after two soft knocks, “Princess, It is time to prepare for the ball.” Her voice is so timid. You twist your head to look at her, the other ladies from this morning were behind her. Koska was not with them.

You sit up from the bed, rubbing a crook in your neck from how you were laying...

—

authors note (again): i know this isn’t the best chapter ending but ya know... IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE

Anyways..... see you tomorrow? i guess? haha

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—

part twelve

[eyeofthedrgn]

It's Okay

Notes: This is a follow up to Wrecked. I'm not sure if I like it as much, but let me know what you think! This one is based off of Imagine Dragons "It's OK"

Wilhelm laid in his bed for days. He didn't eat. He somehow slept. A lot. Only ever got up to go to the bathroom. Simon's shirt clutched to his chest as he laid there, unfocused eyes staring at the far wall of his room. The tears had run out two days ago, now he just ran through scenarios in his head as his anger grew. All he could think about were plans to get Simon back. Each one worse than the last. Every plan unworthy of the ridiculous standards everyone held him at.

He wasn't okay. Wasn't sure if he would ever be okay. Maybe he was out of his fucking mind. But after a few days of stewing in his ocean of thoughts, he felt like it was okay to be not okay. It was normal for everyone else in this godforsaken world and just because he was a prince it meant he couldn't have problems? What kind of bullshit is that anyway?

Breathe in deep.

Carefully folding the yellow and blue plaid shirt, he tucked it under his pillow. He got out of bed, showered, got dressed. One day at a time. The plans marinated in his skull. Wille would figure this out. He had to. There was only one way to survive, one way to get through his terrible life and that was with Simon, his best friend, his lover, by his side.

The idea was to start small. Begin with something that wouldn't shock the nation to its core. An anxiety disorder. With the shit he has been through in the last few months, the people would understand. Wilhelm was startled when he had somehow managed to get his parents to understand that he was in fact not okay. It was kind of unbelievable. A post was drafted, a photo taken, fear ran through his veins, or at least that's what it felt like as soon as it went live. The Crown Prince of Sweden has anxiety. And that was okay.

Breathe in deep.

Wille was starting to live his truth. However small of a step this was to getting what he really wanted, what he needed, it was okay. It was good.

Every night he held Simon's shirt. Let his thoughts run. He ignored the response to his post, his mother would tell him what he needed to know. She always did. Especially if he did something not up to the standards of Erik. Always comparing. He's not Erik. He will never be Erik. One day his mother will finally figure out that that's okay. Or maybe she won't. He honestly didn't know if she would, but he hoped. Was he completely out of his mind for wanting his mother's approval? Maybe.

Breathe in deep.

Christmas came and went. Wilhelm wasn't forced to smile during photos anymore. It was refreshing and it led to more natural smiles some of the time. Whenever he left his room, he had a stress ball with him. It helped. It was okay. The anxiety, he finally wasn't in it alone. People, good people, sent him tips to help manage it, someone had gifted him the stress ball. He nearly cried at the gesture. The outpour of comfort and support about his mental health was staggering. There were of course the ones who thought he was an emasculated freak for admitting his faults and flaws to the world. But he kept telling himself it's okay to be not okay.

Especially when a text came from the most important person in the world: That was brave, Wille. Happy New Year. He broke then. The tears returning in a deluge of… relief. He pulled the shirt from under his pillow and held it to his heart. It really was okay to be not okay.

Cause it's okay to be out of your mind.