#prev tag just to be sure

[nebulasteps]

Silent resignation.

I cannot stress this enough. Please watch Balloon SMP if you have the chance.

[ardentpoop]

is it not exhausting how often sam ends up having to tend to the needs of beings who harmed him irreparably

these guys sent him to rescue LUCIFER lmao. i dont think i need to explain how fucked up that is given their history

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Previous Husband, Pt 6

((Content warning for abuse, violence))

The rest of the afternoon passes in relative quiet. At some point, the tv turns on and they let an hgtv rerun play in the background, only half-watched. Dinner is sandwiches, simple and far below Lena's usual fare these days, Kara considers. But when Lena only nibbles at the crust, Kara knows it's a symptom of something other than disgust for peasant food.

"What's on your mind?" Kara asks quietly.

Lena blinks from her reverie. "Nothing," she says quickly. Then she sighs. "Everything. I don't know. My mind's a mess right now."

Silence settles over then once more, before Lena speaks again a few minutes later. "Tell me about you," she prompts.

Kara ducks her head. "Oh, I'm sure you don't want to hear--"

"I do!" Lena declares, shifting forward intently. "Of course I do. I-- I know I did a horrible job showing it, but I never stopped thinking about you."

The words fill Kara with a warmth she hasn't felt in a long, long time. Her hope creeps higher when Lena finishes with, "I want to hear everything."

Kara finally melts into a smile. "Well, I got that piece on city hall a while back..."

"I read it! It was amazing..."

It's easy, to slip back into old habits. Words and laughter flow from Kara, despite the circumstances, and as she rambles on, she watches Lena relax, settling into the posture Kara remembers well: legs curled under her, elbow propped on the back cushion of the couch as she listens, riveted, as though Kara were the only thing in the room that mattered.

Under Lena's full attention, Kara finds herself starting to believe Lena's claim: that Lena's affection for her never changed, only circumstances got in the way. It doesn't heal the hurt, not entirely, but it helps ease the ache, assuages the accusations she'd been holding in her heart. Finally, all of Kara's displaced pieces clicked home.

As the sun goes down and their conversation dwindles when the hour grows late, Kara announces it's time for bed.

"Come on," she says, urging Lena up. She sees the small overnight bag that had been dropped by the front door. "Did you bring pjs? You can borrow some of mine if not."

"I did," Lena starts, voice soft, "but..."

"But what?"

"Could I borrow one of your sweatshirts? I was in such a rush--"

Kara smiles. "Of course! That's no problem. C'mere."

She bequeaths her National City hoodie, oversized even on her, and Lena positively swims in it. Its bottom hem hangs low beyond the bottom of her sleep shorts, leaving Kara to desperately think about anything other than the fact if she didn't know any better, it almost looked as though Lena were naked in that hoodie.

When their teeth are brushed and they'd both cleaned up for the night, Lena moved towards the living room.

"Where are you going?" Kara asks in concern.

Lena blinks at her. She jabs a thumb over her shoulder. "The couch?"

With a scoff, Kara throws a pillow at her face, which Lena manages to intercept before impact. "Don't be ridiculous," she says. "Get over here."

When Lena hesitates, Kara remembers herself.

"Oh, unless you're-- if you're not comfortable with that, I can stay on the couch..."

"No, I-- I guess I'm just surprised you're comfortable with it."

Kara hesitates, then with a huff of decision, she rounds the bed and grasps Lena by the arms.

"Let's just-- pretend the last few months didn't happen, okay? We'll start fresh. So you don't have to tiptoe around me, okay? I'm glad you're here, and I want you to be comfortable with me. And with our friendship."

Lena's eyes shine with sudden tears. She nods. "Okay," she says in a strangled whisper. "I get the left side."

Kara beams. "As always."

They've shared a bed a few times, before. Movie nights gone late had led to the occasional sleepover. But where those nights had led to quietly whispered conversations held nose to nose, tonight saw them curled on opposite sides of the bed, stiff and quiet despite Kara's offer of a clean slate.

The tension is palpable. It keeps Kara up for hours, until eventually her mind and body finally gives up and relaxes into sleep. When she wakes a few hours later, the room is still dark and silent, but is distinctly missing the body she'd fallen asleep next to.

She finds Lena on the couch, her chin turned to rest on the back rest as she gazes out the darkened windows. Her features are pensive, and a pen rests between the fingers of her right hand, which in turn rests on a pad of paper, already filled with hastily scribbled notes.

"Hey," Kara issues softly. Her voice pulls Lena back in, and she turns to gaze at Kara with fathomless eyes. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," comes the automatic response, only to be countered a moment later. "No." Lena sighs. "I couldn't sleep."

Kara sits next to her, giving the pad in Lena's lap a tap with one finger. "What's this?"

Lena shrugs. "I figured if I was going to go crazy picking apart every interaction I had with Tom in the past nine months, I should at least write them down."

"Is it helping?"

"No." Then, "yes. Kind of." Lena swallows thickly. "It's definitely opened my eyes to a lot of what I either ignored or rationalized away. There were so many signs, and-- I just didn't want to see it."

"Boiled frogs, and all that?" Kara says it lightly enough to be a joke, but Lena nods somberly.

"I always thought myself too smart to find myself in situation like this. That I'd see it coming and walk away before it ever came to this point. I just-- I just feel so stupid."

Kara straightens in her seat. "Stop it. You're not stupid."

"But--"

"Fuck the signs. This could happen to anyone, okay? Anyone."

Lena remains pointedly silent. Kara scowls.

"Do you want to know what matters the most?" she asks. She doesn't give Lena a chance to deny her. "When you finally did notice it? You left. You did what you needed to protect yourself, and I'm so proud of you for that."

"I shouldn't have let it--"

"A lot of people shouldn't have done a lot of things. I won't let you speak down on yourself for this. This is not on you, Lena. It's on him. He did everything he could to keep you from making the decision to leave, and you still did. That's amazing."

Lena releases a trembling sigh. "I don't feel very amazing right now."

Kara scootches closer, wrapping an arm around Lena's shoulders and pulling her close. "Then I'll keep telling you until you do."

Leaning against her, Lena is warm and solid. The tension that had slowly bled away during the previous evening is back, making her stiff. But she doesn't say anything else on the matter. In fact, she changes the subject entirely.

"What do you need, Kara?" Lena asks quietly.

Startled by the question, Kara frowns in consternation. "What do you mean?"

"I know you said clean slate. As much as I'd love that, it isn't fair to you. I know I hurt you. You deserved better, especially from a friend. Especially from me."

Kara's heart clenches at the subtle confirmation that Lena isn't just a simple friend-- that their relationship is somehow something more.

"So tell me," Lena continues softly. "What do you need from me?"

Kara doesn't respond immediately. She runs through the list of all the things she's longed for in Lena's absence. An apology-- she's received plenty now, and Lena's lingering guilt is proof enough of the honesty behind them. A reason, too: she's received that in spades, even if she's not certain Lena has realized it yet. Lena isn't the only one to see the signs retroactively-- the way Tom had packed Lena's schedule in those early days leading to their falling out, and the likelihood that such a falling out had only worked in his favor.

Truly, there's only one other thing Kara has ever wanted.

She turns her head to press a kiss to Lena's cheek. "You," she says simply. "I just want you, here."

Lena turns to meet her gaze, then leans her head against Kara's arm. "I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

The implication behind her words is clear. Lena made a mistake letting them drift apart, and she has no intention of letting it happen again.

Kara accepts it with small, but genuine smile.

"Then that's enough for me."

[scionshtola]

i’ve progressively given cori curlier and curlier hair which i think means i’m allowed to commission more portraits of them

[mamawasatesttube]

whenever people reblog my posts and just copy my tags i do such a double take. like ooh who's this guy talking in the tags on my activity page??? wait a minute. that's just me. why are you me??? i'm me?????

[angyblobghost]

*silently blocking people who screenshot tags instead of reblogging the ~50 other people in the notes who screenshotted the same tags*

[just-call-mefr1es]

…what

[llycaons]

I must imagine prev post's previous tag means 'I got into a playful discussion bc my coworker didn't like a staple food' and not 'I got into a literal argument because an adult expressed a food preference I do not share' bc like how do you argue about that. as an adult

[roscoehamiltons]

.

[jacobglaser]

My Tumblr app has updated to the new version that shows mutual/following in your notes and now anytime I open the activity tab and scroll down it crashes the app. Incredible work lads.

[jellycaustic]

really bizarre to see polls ostensibly meant to test for a correlation between 2 variables, but formatted as "answer this poll about var1, then tell me var2 in the tags" like bestie you can't correlate that.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Previous Husband AU, Pt 12

((Content warning for abuse, suicide, trauma, etc))

When Lena's crying slowly ebbs, Kara pulls away just enough to meet her gaze.

"What do you need?"

"I want to go home," Lena admits quietly.

Kara nods immediately. "Of course. We can go home, and--"

"No," Lena corrects. "My home."

Blinking in surprise, Kara's brain takes a moment to compute. Somehow, she's forgotten that Lena has only been a guest, not a roommate. Quickly recovering, Kara nods again.

"Okay. I'll take you home."

Not that she intends to let Lena be alone once they get there. Lena is visibly numb, her reactions and speech muted, almost robotic. Alex agrees to drive them, and waits in the car while Kara helps get Lena upstairs. She's already forming a plan of a shower, food, and sleep for her friend, and in that order, only for all thought to vacate her brain when the elevator doors open onto the mess that remains of Lena's home.

Kara and Lena survey the damage side by side: lamps are knocked over, in some chases their bodies shattered or their shades ripped off to expose the broken bulbs. Drawers and cabinets lie open and askew, whatever contents they'd housed strewn across the room. Shreds of paper litter the floor, mingling with fluff from slashed cushions and pillows. Even now, after everything, Tom has left his mark, from every smashed dish in the kitchen to the gaping wounds of the ripped canvas art on the wall-- much of it priceless and chosen by Lena herself.

Kara's breath catches in her chest, tears rising in the face of such destruction. But Lena simply stands beside without reaction, before she simply turns and wordlessly leaves the way they came. All Kara can do is follow.

Alex doesn't ask when Kara requests that she drive them back to Hope Street. Lena doesn't move to exit the vehicle until Kara opens the door and offers her hand to help her out. Only then does Lena seem to shake herself awake, just enough to accept the offered assistance and head towards the building.

Kara promises to keep Alex apprised of developments before hurrying after Lena. Once inside the apartment, Lena stands listlessly between the kitchen and dining room, as though unsure of what to do with herself.

By now it's almost evening, and Kara quietly suggests that Lena take a shower while she herself orders some food.

"Chinese okay?" she asks.

After a vacant moment, Lena nods. "Yeah. Sure."

Kara places the order as soon as Lena disappears into the bathroom. Once she hangs up, she sets about preparing for Lena's imminent retreat to bed and some rest. She pulls out a fresh pair of pajamas, swaps out the pillowcase, and straightens out the bedsheets.

When Lena emerges, water drips from the ends of her saturated hair, as though she hadn't had the strength to reach up and dry it with the towel she now hugged around herself.

"Here," Kara offers swiftly, handing Lena the pajamas. Lena accepts the clothes, only to stare at them for a long moment before issuing a quiet thank you. Kara swallows thickly. "Just a minute."

Pulling a fresh towel from the linen closet, Kara beckons for Lena to sit on the edge of the bed. Lena obeys, and Kara climbs up to sit behind her to carefully begin the process of blotting the excess water from Lena's hair.

"Is this okay?"

Lena nods faintly, and Kara proceeds in silence. It's more intimate than they've ever been, and the weight of the moment sits heavily on Kara's shoulders. She's always wanted to be close with Lena-- as close as Lena would allow. But this isn't the way Kara would have wished for it to happen.

After towelling away the worst of the offending moisture, Kara reaches for Lena's hairbrush. Once free of snags Kara deftly weaves damp hair into a single braid down Lena's back, securing it away from Lena's face and from sticking to the back of her neck.

"Okay," Kara murmurs. "You're done."

She watches as Lena inhales, as though preparing to say thank you. But it hiccups halfway, and no words emerge. Lena lifts her hands to dig the heels of her palms against her eyes.

Kara doesn't know what to do. Nothing in her life has prepared her to care for a friend like this, to know what to say or how to say it. But her heart won't let her do nothing.

Carefully, she loops her arms around Lena's waist and hugs her from behind, pressing her cheek to Lena's shoulder blade. Lena's shoulders hitch at the contact, and her chest tightens under Kara's arms.

"I'm glad you're okay," Kara says, her voice low like a hum. "You're are going to be okay. I promise."

Lena doesn't respond.

---

Lena doesn't leave Kara's bedroom for three days. What few words she was able to issue upon arriving home dwindle to silence. Alex warns of trauma, leaves a list of counselors who could help Lena process what she's experienced, what she's witnessed. Before Kara can mention it, however, Lena shocks her by waking one morning and deciding to leave.

"I'm going home," she issues dully.

Kara's eyes widen in surprise. "Lena..."

"Jess has confirmed the cleaners have finished and the apartment's been refinished. I don't have any reason to impose on you any longer."

Something in Kara's chest twinges painfully. "You're not an imposition."

"I'm leaving," Lena says again. She has yet to meet Kara's eye, not even breaking stride as she gathers her things into her overnight bag.

"Lena, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be on your own right now--"

"I'm finally free to live my life again, Kara!" Lena snaps. She slams. her toiletry bag into her duffel as her gaze finally snaps to Kara's. Her glare makes Kara's blood run cold.

"Let me live it."

---

That day feels like the beginning of the end.

For a few weeks, Lena allows Kara to keep an eye on her, before their meetings and meals once again give way to busy schedules and rainchecks. This time, however, Kara refuses to give up.

She continues to reach out even after her calls and texts are met with silence. As news of the death of Lena Luthor's husband takes over the airwaves, Kara tracks Lena's decline through every interview she gives.

To the outside world, Kara presumes Lena appears impeccable as ever-- they wouldn't notice the tremor in Lena's hands as she speaks, nor the subtle signs of exhaustion hanging beneath her eyes. Nor would they notice the slight glassiness of Lena's eyes themselves, proof enough to Kara of Lena's turn to drink.

Sure enough, when Kara finally gathers the courage to break the cone of silence Lena has erected around herself and goes to Lena's apartment, she finds the door open and the living room dark.

"Lena?" Kara calls carefully. Her heart lodges in her throat, unable to shake the alarm that courses through her veins. "It's me-- I'm here. Please, talk to me."

After a long moment, a croak issues from the dark.

"There's nothing to say."

Kara follows Lena's voice to the far corner of the living room, where she finds her friend's dark shape sitting on the floor, a decanter of scotch beside her and a glass in her hand.

Signs of distress around the apartment come into focus as Kara's eyes adjust to the dark. Couch pillows on the floor, dishes on the counter, a blanket puddled in front of the armchair Lena prefers. Kara makes no mention of it as she settles down next to Lena, smoothly sliding the decanter out of reach to make room for herself.

"Tom chose to make me a widow rather than just fucking divorce me," Lena mutters, words slurring drunkenly. "And he made me watch while he did it." She scoffs. "But what's one more body on the Luthor tally sheet, huh?"

Kara doesn't know what to say to that. She can't even comprehend what Lena must be feeling, the tragedy she's witnessed. Even if Tom were a monster, which Kara believes he is, there was a time Lena cared for him, even if it wasn't love.

"GODDAMIT!" Lena shouts sharply, throwing her glass across the room, where it splinters against the wall.

Kara jumps at the outburst, heart pounding. She's never seen Lena like this. "Lena...?"

Before her name even passes Kara's lips Lena deflates, features crumpling into tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, feeling out Kara's hand and squeezing it tightly. "I'm sorry. I just-- everytime I close my eyes, I see him. I see what's left of his face and I-- I can't control it."

Lena's voice quakes, her tears audible even in the dark.

"He's gone, but I'm still scared, Kara. And this time, I'm scared of myself."

Kara swallows, steeling her nerve as she turns Lena's hand over in her own and presses Alex's list of counselors into her palm.

"You don't have to do this alone."

With a gasp, Lena leans into Kara, crying messily into her shoulder. Kara grasps Lena's hand once more, trapping the slip of paper between their palms as she wraps her free hand around her friend's shoulders.

"You're not alone."

---

The next morning, Kara awakens where she still sat, leaning against Lena's shoulder, their hands still clasped. When she shifts, she dislodges Lena slightly, waking her friend as well.

"Fuck," Lena curses, wincing and squinting against the morning light. Kara silently echoes the sentiment-- her back won't thank her for the overnight slump against the wall.

"Bathroom?" Kara rasps out, her mouth dry.

Lena grunts. "Go ahead."

When Kara re-emerges, her hands and face clean, she finds the apartment noticeably tidied. Not perfectly-- the blanket isn't folded and the dishes now reside in the sink, but the pillows are back on the couch and the glass shards from the broken tumbler have disappeared.

Lena herself sits at the kitchen island, shoulders slumped as the coffeemaker gurgles on the counter behind her.

"You okay?" Kara asks warily.

Lena doesn't respond right away. After a moment, Kara realizes she's staring at the list of counselors.

"I texted Alex," Lena says finally, pointedly ignoring Kara's question. "See if she could get me some phone numbers."

She lifts the slip of paper, and Kara nods. "I think that's a good idea. I'm proud of you."

"I'm sorry I cut you out," Lena continues. "Again. I think it was easier to ignore how pathetic I'd become without you there as a witness."

Kara frowns. "You're not--"

"I am. I let him control me for months, and now I'm letting me haunt me from beyond the grave."

Lena lifts her head, looking Kara in the eye. "You helped me realize that there are still people--alive-- that I owe more than I ever owed him."

Kara bites back a protest. Lena doesn't owe her anything. But... if this is what brings Lena back from the brink, if this is what keeps her grounded, then Kara will keep her silence. For now.

"I think," Lena says, her voice cracking slightly. "I think I might need you a bit longer. If-- if you'll forgive me."

Kara breathes a quiet sigh of relief, her mouth trembling as she smiles. "I forgive you," she says readily, "on one condition."

Lena nods, eyes wide as she waits.

"Can I get a hug?"

The request almost seems to make Lena melt. She sags for a brief moment, releasing a thin breath, before tearfully nodding. When she opens her arms, Kara moves in, nestling her arms firmly around her.

The embrace holds long and firm, neither of them in any rush to disengage.

"Thank you," Lena murmurs softly.

Kara squeezes her eyes shut.

"No," she says quietly. "Thank you."

[hare-there]

Hrmmnngggggggg dangit I was looking into this one's guys halo related shorts and when I went back in history enough and got to pride month turns out he was a homophobe. I geuss that makes sense when it comes to fps games so I'll have to keep an eye out.. idk how active the halo fandom is here but honestly I think i'm okay with that.

If anyone has any particular halo youtubers or streamers etc they suggest could you let me know?

[otasnox]

tell her i was the one who did it / he said he'll always love you (may 3rd, 2024)

cover art by arok318

[fraseris]

????

[sleepyjim]

everytime i close my eyes i start feeling this horrible horrible Glorious feeling like im floating and itsso awesome amd it makes my head hurt so bad