#pretty sure I’m the only one who had a FAT crush on arya growing up

[taisgf]

f. arya stark drabble (wlw)

A/N: grew up with the fattest crush on arya so this is in her honour arya my queen

Her memories of you are more than fond- looking back on them and feeling her heart clench, a warm feeling encompassing her soul. Arya remembers sneaking off to mess around with the bows and arrows away from Catelyn’s strict eye, spending hours missing each target and laughing until your bellies’ hurt. No care that it was a boy’s sport, no place for girls or unladylike- she never cared. Never. Especially not with you. Not when she had that nagging feeling whenever you were around, the feeling that she couldn’t shake- that she had to be the best, to do right by you. That she couldn’t let herself look like less than, revelling in the need to look strong.

She remembers growing older, sitting on her bed together with Nymeria curled at your feet, raking your hands through her soft white fur- an odd part of her wishing it was her hair that your hands caressed, instead. She could never quite explain that, and the feeling all but went away as she spent more and more time by your side. Even today, as a woman grown, it lingers deep in her chest.

Arya remembers when you were both maybe 11 or 12, no more than little girls. She recalls a dinner in Winterfell’s grand hall, listening to your fathers talk about what good man to wed you off to. Arya, a young Tully prince- and you, some uptight Arryn common boy. Arryn, of all families. Arya remembers the pang in her chest as the words hit her ears, the way her fist gripped her skirt, fist balled so tight her knuckles glowed an odd shade of white. She could never place why. Although, she never paid it much mind- the burning feeling in her heart too great to push back in her mind.

She remembers that night, running off before the end of supper and sitting on the peak of a tower bordering the city with you. The two sets of legs, thighs pressed together, dangling down as you sat in silence. She remembers how quiet your voice was as you admitted how scared you were. Arya wanted nothing more to protect you, in that moment- wanting to find that bow and arrow and shoot whatever stupid Arryn boy right in his chest, to be your knight in shining armour.

She remembers admitting to you that night, legs locked together, that she never cared for the princes like Sansa did. Never at all. She remembers the feeling, the soar of her heart, when you expressed the same. That you’d much rather spend time with her. That you’d always felt differently about her- how you believed you always would.

Arya remembers the sting, the imprint you left in your absence. As she left Winterfell to train in King’s Landing, and as you were dragged away to the Eyrie at the command of your father, even then the feeling didn’t leave. For years and years, your memory lingered at the forefront of her mind. Only was it relieved in those fleeting moments when you would see eachother back at Winterfell, your gazes meeting for no more than a split second.

Arya remembers the stinging jealousy, seeing some man sat possessively beside you at the next feast your families shared- the ring on your finger, his surname overridden yours, the broadening of your hips, the way your figure had matured. How she wishes she was there to see it. To feel it. She imagines running her calloused hands over your soft skin like she did while teaching you to shoot, softly guiding your hand.

She remembers that night, meeting you in your quarters after you whispered a simple ‘come see me’ in passing. Seeing you clad in your robes, fire lit, wine perched on a desk. Talking for hours, the soft white fur of a rug beneath her feet. Words growing slurred, bottles steadily emptying. The feeling of your lips on her’s, hands finally in her hair, your skin beneath her fingertips, the sounds spilling from your lips, the confessions you both blurted in fear of never getting another chance. The fear painted on your face after- yet something deeper lingering in your eyes.

If Arya didn’t know any better, she’d say it was love.

She remembers knowing, in that moment, that it was always going to be you. Knowing she wouldn’t settle for any less than you- but maybe she had always known that.

[lilbreck]

AGoT Chapter 5 - 8

If you want to follow along, I'm tagging my ASoIaF reading as tonya rereads asoiaf. As I said last time, feel free to comment, I'd love to talk about stuff. Point out some things I missed, whatever.

There are a lot of questionable parenting skills in this group of chapters. Robert's a bad king, Jon is angry but still loves his family, and the Starks are fucking northern fools, even Catelyn.

Chapter 4: Eddard

Age 35

Not even gonna lie, Ned's first description of how Robert used to look sounded a bit like he had a crush. No offense, but Ned has bad taste in men. How he looks now… If there's perfume coming off Robert, is it supposed to be Cersei's, does he wear perfume himself, or did he seriously visit some brothels on the way up north? I'd believe any of it. Also, as much as everyone loves Ned… he seriously says he loves Robert because, after fifteen years, the man is still obsessed with his sister?

We get a hint here that the cold (which I commented on in Bran's chapter) is potentially unusual. Though Ned says that late summer snows are common enough, I'm not sure how much to believe that.

You know, the more we see of Robert, the less I like him. I shudder to think what Lyanna would have gone through if she had married him. She may or may not still be alive, but she'd be married to a drunken, abusive (IIRC) ass who sleeps around on her. If Robert had been a better man, I wonder how differently all this would have turned out.

The first Lords of Winterfell had been men hard as the land they ruled. In the centuries before the Dragonlords came over the sea, they had sworn allegiance to no man, styling themselves the Kings in the North.

I just want a story where the ghosts of the first Lords of Winterfell reign down terror on those in the South. Maybe someone who writes ASoIaF/GoT fanfic could write that and link me.

So, I had heard conflicting reports of how the Starks were killed by Aerys. Apparently, Brandon died first (strangled, and just a few days before his wedding!) and I'm assuming his father burned after. We haven't touched on that in this chapter yet.

I'm assuming (and correct me if I'm wrong) that Ned not wanting to trust a child to Tywin has to do with the Targaryen children that died and Ned and Robert's split. It's the only reason I could think of that Ned would think speaking of it would open old wounds.

“They say it grows so cold up here in winter that a man’s laughter freezes in his throat and chokes him to death,” Ned said evenly. “Perhaps that is why the Starks have so little humor.”

The cold seems to give them subtle sass to spare, though. This chapter is full of damn good quotes. I'll leave it off on this one:

For a moment Eddard Stark was filled with a terrible sense of foreboding. This was his place, here in the north. He looked at the stone figures all around them, breathed deep in the chill silence of the crypt. He could feel the eyes of the dead. They were all listening, he knew. And winter was coming.

Chapter 5: Jon

Age 14

Okay, this Jon is a bit different from the serious and solemn young man that we saw in Bran's chapter. Of course, the circumstances are different, so that could be some of it. We do get a lot of description from Jon's POV. I'm going to copy his descriptions here, save Tommen (because he's pretty much a non-entity to Jon) and Tyrion because it says nothing about Jon's perception of the man, just how fascinated he is by his appearance.

< His father helped her up the steps to the dais and led her to her seat, but the queen never so much as looked at him. Even at fourteen, Jon could see through her smile. >

< The king was a great disappointment to Jon. His father had talked of him often: the peerless Robert Baratheon, demon of the Trident, the fiercest warrior of the realm, a giant among princes. Jon saw only a fat man, red-faced under his beard, sweating through his silks. He walked like a man half in his cups. >

< He had the Princess Myrcella on his arm. She was a wisp of a girl, not quite eight, her hair a cascade of golden curls under a jeweled net. Jon noticed the shy looks she gave Robb as they passed between the tables and the timid way she smiled at him. He decided she was insipid. Robb didn’t even have the sense to realize how stupid she was; he was grinning like a fool. >

< Sansa looked radiant as she walked beside him, but Jon did not like Joffrey’s pouty lips or the bored, disdainful way he looked at Winterfell’s Great Hall. >

< Ser Jaime Lannister was twin to Queen Cersei; tall and golden, with flashing green eyes and a smile that cut like a knife. He wore crimson silk, high black boots, a black satin cloak. On the breast of his tunic, the lion of his House was embroidered in gold thread, roaring its defiance. They called him the Lion of Lannister to his face and whispered “Kingslayer” behind his back.

Jon found it hard to look away from him. This is what a king should look like, he thought to himself as the man passed. >

Looking at that, Jaime is the only one who Jon doesn't dismiss in one way or another. I wonder if it's a coincidence that Jaime is getting a kind of (kind of) redemptive arc. I'm not really sure about Tyrion, I'll have to get back to you when I read further.

Also, Jon may or may not have a crush on Jaime.

So, given that Theon ignores Jon, I'm thinking Jon's dislike is also returned. How long has Theon been there, and when did the dislike start? Was there one instance, or did they just take an instant dislike to each other. Is this answered later on? Guess I'll find out.

His eyes stung. Jon rubbed at them savagely, cursing the smoke. He swallowed another gulp of wine and watched his direwolf devour the chicken.

I have a feeling that isn't from the smoke. Fuck, poor Jon. Beyond that, Ghost is out here intimidating dogs three times his size.

Given how very angry and hurting Jon is concerning the fact that he's a bastard, it does say a lot about him that he remains so loyal to his family later on.

Chapter 6: Catelyn

You know, we get a very different view on how political marriages can go in this world. Robert and Cersei have a hellish marriage where she's very obviously not happy and he doesn't care a bit. Meanwhile, we've got Ned and Catelyn who really seem to have a good marriage with, apparently, a satisfying sex life on both their ends.

“Robert would never harm me or any of mine. We were closer than brothers. He loves me. If I refuse him, he will roar and curse and bluster, and in a week we will laugh about it together. I know the man!”

Okay, first off, it's very obvious that Ned has a (potentially willful) blindness to who his friend really is. I also wonder if he thought he was protecting his wife by not telling her about Jon's real parents? Because the Robert we're introduced to, the one Catelyn is obviously very aware of, would not spare his family because they didn't know if he found out Ned had commited the treason of hiding a Targaryen child. Especially if that child was Lyanna's, and he wouldn't care that Lynnna was Ned's sister.

I think this is going to call for a "fucking northern fool" tag. I have a feeling it will come in handy.

I would just like to point something out:

“And in mine,” she blazed, angry now. Why couldn’t he see? “He offers his own son in marriage to our daughter, what else would you call that? Sansa might someday be queen. Her sons could rule from the Wall to the mountains of Dorne. What is so wrong with that?”

“Gods, Catelyn, Sansa is only eleven,” Ned said. “And Joffrey … Joffrey is …”

She finished for him. “… crown prince, and heir to the Iron Throne. And I was only twelve when my father promised me to your brother Brandon.”

Everyone likes to rag on Sansa because she was excited to marry a prince and refused to see what Joffrey was. However, this conversation hints to me — speaking on assumptions from the perspective of a long marriage — that Ned had concerns about Joffrey (or reservations) that he had probably spoken to his wife about. She ignores all that in favor of how Sansa could be queen.

Not in a power grab, mind you, but in the way all mothers want their children to have the best possible chance in life. She would have filled her daughter with stories (as would have everyone around her). They would have told her what an honor it was and how lucky she was. She's eleven and sheltered, just as all the Stark children are, even the bastard boy, of course she's going to cling to it.

I'd also like to point out that Catelyn is so thrown by how scared she feels and how much she knows shit's about to go wrong that she straight up hops out of be naked to the shock of both her husband and the Maester (who has been trying to get out of that damn room of naked and half naked people). I need to find my small amusements where I can.

Just… I have to question what they thought would happen if they found out and were able to prove that Cersei and her family had killed Jon Arryn? Did they think that Sansa would be fine married off to a prince who would probably resent her father? Did they think they could back out of it? You know what, Catelyn is now roped into my "fucking northern fool" tag.

I mean, they didn't have much of a choice, but she didn't even see what dangers could come with all this. Not for a second do we see her think "Hmmm, a boy might not be happy to marry the daughter of the man who got his mother (probably) executed for the murder of The King's Hand, who was also a good friend of the king." For fuck's sake!

Chapter 7: Arya

Age 9

Okay, Arya's resentment of Sansa rings clearly through the first few paragraphs of this chapter. Also, she straight up mentally blames Sansa for attracting the septa's attention… when the septa didn't look away from the princess until Arya raised her voice. Hell, Sansa even tried to placate the septa by saying that they were talking about how happy they were to have the princess there.

Everything in this chapter speaks of her being both overdramatic and jealous of her sister. Down to thinking to herself that no one except Nyperia loves her. Now, I'm not saying that as a dig at Arya. She's 9. This is how she should be. I do have a problem with people who use her very obvious unreliable narrator POV to say that Sansa was somehow in the wrong here. I'm still waiting on this great scene that proves that Sansa is a bully to Arya.

I really do like Jon and Arya's relationship here.

Chapter 8: Bran

So, wait, when does Bran's direwolf get a name? It doesn't matter, that poor direwolf was trying to warn Bran not to climb. I'm assuming that Bran's in-depth knowledge of how to get in and out of Winterfell is going to come in handy. Like I said, it's been more than a while since I've read this.

You know, I'm sitting here laughing about the lengths they're all going to try and get him to stop climbing and he's all "whatevs" about it. But then I remember what's about to happen and I'm sad again. I don't want to read this.

Yeah, shit's only going to go wrong from here.