#pretend the whale is a shark but at the end of the day it’s still a fucking whale . constant moaning and wailing etc

[kendallroygf]

i once read something that described kendall as taking up maximum space at the dinner table, scoffing everything down and even picking at the food stuck between his teeth at the end . and it’s like. what a wild misunderstanding of the character. he’s constantly wilting, has literally never finished his plate and it’s actually. odd how absent he is at every dinner table , constant dissociation that’s framed as normal as everybody chats around him

[gloriabomfim]

I was having a normal day in the bathroom with my fellow Rubbadubbers – Tubb, Sploshy, Finbar, Winona, Terence, and Amelia. We were all enjoying our usual activities, splashing around, playing games, and just having a great time. Little did we know that today was going to be quite an extraordinary day.

As we were laughing and playing, a strange pink dust suddenly appeared in the air. It swirled around us, and before we knew it, we were all transformed into adorable baby versions of ourselves. I looked down at my tiny froggy body and let out a surprised "Ribbit!"

Sploshy, still energetic even as a baby, started bouncing around in excitement, making adorable squeaky sounds. Finbar, the "mighty" baby shark, tried to roar but ended up making a cute gurgling noise instead. Winona, our little baby whale, squirmed in delight and let out a high-pitched squeak.

Terence, the soap bottle crocodile, blew bubbles from his tiny nose, creating a playful atmosphere. Even though he was a baby, he still had that one favorite red toothbrush clutched in his small plastic grip. Amelia, the flying submarine, fluttered her miniature wings and let out a series of cheerful "neeeow, vrooom" noises.

As for me, baby Tubb, I sat on a mini lily pad and looked at my friends with wide, curious eyes. I let out a soft "Swimmin'!" in my tiny voice, still amazed by our sudden transformation.

Reg, our trusty robot friend, was the only one who didn't turn into a baby. He looked at us with a mix of confusion and concern. "Rubbadubbers, what's happened?" he asked in his usual Australian accent, his mechanical brain clearly puzzled by the situation.

We all tried to communicate with each other in our baby forms, making cute noises and gestures. Sploshy and Winona were particularly good at expressing themselves with their squeaks and water squirting. It was a bit chaotic, but we were having a blast.

After a while, we realized that being babies had its challenges. We couldn't do all the things we were used to, and some of our tricks and movements were a bit wobbly. But we were determined to have fun anyway.

Terence blew bubbles in the air, and Finbar pretended to chase them around with his tiny fins. Amelia did little loops and spins, and I joined in by hopping around on my mini lily pad. Sploshy and Winona were splashing each other with tiny bursts of water, creating a mini water show.

Reg, despite not being a baby, started to play along. He moved his arms and legs in a robotic dance, trying to imitate our baby movements. "Rubbadubbers, bathtime scramble!" he exclaimed, clearly getting into the spirit of things.

As we played and laughed, we realized that being babies was actually quite fun. We might not have been able to do everything we could as adults, but the joy and laughter were just as real. And even though we couldn't form our usual sentences, our baby noises and actions spoke volumes.

Eventually, the pink dust started to fade away, and one by one, we transformed back into our regular Rubbadubber selves. It was a bittersweet moment, as we had enjoyed our time as babies, but we were also happy to be back to normal.

Reg looked at us with a hint of relief in his robotic eyes. "Rubbadubbers, it seems we're back to our usual selves," he announced.

We all smiled and nodded, still giggling from our baby adventures. As the pink dust cleared completely, we realized that even in the most unexpected situations, our friendship and sense of fun always prevailed.

And so, as the day continued, we went back to our usual Rubbadubber activities, splashing, playing, and enjoying each other's company. As Reg announced the imminent arrival of Benjie and Sis for their bath, we lined up excitedly, ready to continue our bathroom adventures, grateful for the bond that made every moment special.

[thecousinsdangereux]

Dear Beatrice,

Have you ever been to IKEA?

I saw a movie once where this couple was pretending to live out their lives in a bunch of fake IKEA sets and in retrospect it was a little weird, probably, and super inconvenient for everyone around them, but that’s the point, right? That they were so in love with each other that they were selfish in a way that was okay.

I want to go to IKEA and not care about anyone else or anything else. I want to be dumb and cheesy. I want to inconvenience people in ways that doesn't lead to the world ending. I want to get a free pass for being young and stupid and in love. I want to be selfish like that with you.

Do you know where I’m going with this?

I don’t. Not really. Not right now. But you will, by the time you’re reading this. Because I’ll have told you that I want you to go to IKEA and dance in the rain or share a plate of spaghetti with someone under the moonlight or spin around on hilltops while singing about the sound of music or spread your arms out wide and shout something from the front of a ship. Or… honestly, hopefully I’ll have told you something way better than all that because I’m still working on how I’m going to tell you and I don’t think movie references are the way to go. But you know what I mean. Hopefully, I’ll have told you that I want you to do the things I couldn’t, that you couldn’t, that we couldn’t do together. Hopefully, I’ll have found a way to tell you that doesn’t sound stupid or make you cry or make it seem like I'm taking the easy way out. Hopefully, by now, you’ll know that I love you and in a movie, that would be enough to change the universe and give us a happy ending. But here, we are what we are, and it isn’t.

That’s okay. Or… okay, fine. It’s not. It’s bullshit! It sucks! I want to be selfish and I want to be with you and I want to do all this stuff together! But it is worth it. I’m not going to make it through this, but if you’re reading this letter, that means you do and that’s worth it. Though... not fair. I know it’s not fair. But I’m doing this so you can live your life.

Maybe that’s what I’ll say to you. Because that’s actually pretty good, isn’t it? And it’s the truth too. I’m doing this so you can live your life. It doesn’t have to be the movie stuff that I always put on my dumb to-do lists. But it has to be something. The only way I’ll be able to do this is if I know that you’ll go on and do something that will make you happy. That’s a pretty shitty burden to place on someone, I know. But you can handle it. You can handle anything. (I'm sorry, but that's the truth too.) And I think it’ll be less of a burden in the end, because I think you’ll find something beautiful out there.

So… go to IKEA. Get a tattoo. Help a baby turtle make its way back to the sea. Spend an entire day reading in bed and eating ice cream. Swim with whale sharks. See the northern lights. Go to a drive-in theater and see the end of that stupid movie that I don’t remember the name of.

Live your life, Beatrice, and I promise you’ll find something every day to keep living for. Because the universe owes you that much. And by now, it owes me that much too.

I love you. If you’re right about everything that happens afterwards, then I’ll still be loving you when you read this. I think maybe I’ll love you forever, even if you’re wrong.

[nibwhipdragon]

Now that you've done Joseph for the blorbo game, you get struck by the uno reverse wild card! Curious to see who you'd do :)

YIPPEE! Starting off with probably one of my most tragic blorbos:

The Dragon/Demon King from The Cruel King and The Great Hero. It's a very underrated game I absolutely recommend, the release trailer appeared in my YouTube feed and was completely sold on it from that alone.

Just. AUGH. He used to be evil until he was defeated and the hero that defeated him spared his life and wanted him to become a better person instead of atoning for his sins by being killed. And then they both became friends and then the hero fucking died and gave The Dragon King his baby daughter and begged him to look after her and make sure she grew up safe and strong and AUFJGJGJFJJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

And then the hero's daughter (Yuu, her name is) ends up wanting to be a hero just like her human father and so to help her achieve her dream The Dragon King decides to train her. To eventually kill him. Because he's a big bad monster and if he's slain by her she'll be loved by the humans and all that and 😭😭😭😭 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I honestly think he's one of the best redeemed villains I've seen in media (apart from Zuko), even though he has become good and strives to do good things, the bad stuff he has already done hasn't magically fixed itself or is ignored, it's still very much there.

we do not talk about the boss fight against him (crying really really hard, that defense lowering was uncalled for)

Next up is the original blorbo: Cheval

Like genuinely I can't think of any other character that would've been a blorbo to me before him.

Can you tell I like redemption arcs from depressing and messed up characters

He got so much hate when mhs1 first released and it makes me so mad. "He's so edgy" HE WATCHED HIS MOTHER GET CRUSHED TO DEATH AT AROUND 12/13 I DON'T THINK A KID WITH UNADDRESSED TRAUMA AND ACCESS TO WEAPONS AND A FIRE BREATHING MONSTER WOULD ACT MATURE

As much as I like game Cheval, anime Cheval takes the cake for me. It's probably because the game had to start in media res because...you know. Game. But I love how anime Cheval slowly gets more unhinged as the show goes on it's beautiful, just. The golden gargwa egg episode. I absolutely LOVE how that shows a more negative side of him, something that becomes more prominent as the show continues and he begins to veer off into the path of iffy moral actions, just YES!!!!! YES!!!!!

Also you see the point in the anime where he reaches that "tipping point" where in the game you don't. That episode where he gets a nargacuga monstie after abandoning Rathi, only to leave it to LITERALLY DIE OF EXHAUSTION IN THE DESERT because it wasn't powerful enough for him...makes me so sad every time (I'm happy they reconcile in season 2 though!)

i hate mhs2 Cheval. He feels so off putting and wrong it feels like it's not him. You get me? Like it's something pretending to be him than actual Cheval. I love him anyways though. I can both love and hate him. Cheval is Cheval.

So many late-night thoughts for this man. I have a whole theory on how he was infected with the black blight I sent to a friend like 2/3 years back, maybe I'll post it on here one day. He means so much to me <3

Go to therapy Cheval <3

Jotaro. He is so like me fr <3

I want to put him in a microwave. Not maniacally like with Joseph but I just wanna see him rotate. Such a man. He means so much to me like damn bro you like fishies? Sea? Damn bro you're beefy and look naturally aggressive? Damn do you mind if I exist in the same room as you

The fish thing is especially funny imo because to write him for Breadcrust Crusaders I had to know about marine life. I knew absolutely jack about marine life. So, like any normal person would, I borrowed not one, not two, but three absolutely massive encyclopedias on marine life. Two of them were specifically for sharks and whales. And I read all of them. And now I'm normal about marine life the same way I'm normal about Joseph Joestar. Thanks, Jotaro. The blorbo who fundamentally changed me as a person.

He has autism. I have decided to make this canon. Araki cannot stop me I will make this canon mark my words

He was kinda bland in part 3. Tbh. His PTSD makes his character spicier, as well as thethe. The. The divorce I fucking love divorce every character should aspire to be like Jotaro and divorce

[dcforts]

[lebanon]

ao3

Sometimes, when he is at the bunker and things are quiet, Castiel goes out and ventures in town.

Some days he just feels like stretching his legs, so he takes off before dawn. It’s a long walk to the town center and back in time to see everyone get up for the day, but he likes the solid asphalt of the road under his shoes, the smell of the trees all around, the chirping of the birds nestled on their branches. He likes the clear air of the morning, the cold first light of the day. He enjoys how the landscape is both empty and full, quiet and rich.

It’s always too early to interact to anyone; the town is still sleeping and whoever is already around is too groggy or too busy to give you anything more than a curt nod. Cas appreciates that. Although at this point he feels pretty comfortable on Earth, there are times when he still feels like a fish out of water, so he relishes these morning walks that don’t require too much effort.

On one of those mornings, Dean wakes up while he is still out, and Cas’ phone rings in his pocket as he walks. On the other end Dean gruffly says, Where are you? and Cas looks around and reads out loud the first sign he sees. He says, Gallery Bistrò and Dean says, And where is that? and Cas says Lebanon, Kansas and Dean says Oh and, after a moment, I thought you’d taken off. Cas smiles, looking at the freshly baked croissant displayed in the windows of the bistrò and says I’m on my way and Would you like a croissant?

Some days, when he has errands to run, Cas takes his pick-up.

He always passes by the front windows of the post office and when the place is empty and she is not busy, Marta catches his eyes through the blinds and waves at him to come inside. He doesn’t mind spending a few minutes chatting with her. She is kind and nods understandingly and never makes him feel like he’s speaking in tongues. She always asks after Dean at some point, she says How’s Dean? and He should come by more often, will you tell him that? and Cas always says He’s fine and Of course, he’s very busy with work but he’d love to come by. He likes the way she lights up at that and how -  later, when he tells him - Dean snorts and brags about his charm.

But some other times when she talks about Dean she says He is such a gentleman and What a nice person and Cas nods and says He is and He is the best man I know and her face melts into a soft smile, she pats his hand and says I know, darling. Cas doesn’t know what she knows but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t even tell Dean because he doesn’t know how to explain it. She shows him pictures of her grandson and he buys stamps with sea animals to give Jack as a present.

Then he stops at the liquor store. Jackson will have ready for him two or three cases of the usual beer. From the moment he sees him at the door he talks and talks about how happy he is that the Campbell brothers moved to town, because They know their stuff, he can tell, and he never had anyone like Dean with whom he could talk about booze for hours.

He motions to follow him out back and always insists on helping him carry the cases to his pick-up even if Cas says Thank you and There’s no need cause he can handle it of course, but Jackson is already grabbing one and cutting him off saying Believe me, give it a few years and you’ll feel it and You gotta be careful with your back so Cas lets him help and accepts the spare bottle of whatever new thing he has for Sam and Dean to try and promises him to tell the Campbells that they’re always welcome there.

When they are missing something from the bunker he stops at the mini mart. Fortunately, the young man he was rude to that one time doesn’t work there anymore. Stacy always greets him with a friendly Hello, unless it’s very early in the morning and she still has sleep fogging her eyes or late in the afternoon and she looks bored with her schoolbooks open on her lap.

The first few times, when he approaches her, she avoids his gaze, in a way that suggests that they both know the same secret, and it’s a truth that doesn’t exactly scare her but she would rather not know. Those first few times when he puts the basket on the counter, she says Everything alright? a little unsure, like she is asking about the shopping but also like she is worried that he is going to start talking about monsters. Cas says Yes and nothing else so as not to scare her.

One quiet afternoon though, she is clumsily trying to figure out how the brand new object scanner works and Cas sees her growing frustrated. She says I hate this thing under her breath. He extends one hand and says I can show you and, proudly, I’ve worked in a Gas n’ Sip. She doesn’t seem impressed by that, but lets him try and Cas teaches her. Now when she says Everything alright? she smiles and Cas says Yes and Thank you, Stacy.

If Max is perched on the counter next to her, flipping through a magazine, Stacy is even more relaxed. They exchange looks behind Cas’ back and Max watches him from under her eyelashes the whole time he wanders around in the shop. One time she sees him looking at the candy bars display for a long time and she heads over, points at one kind of chocolate bar and says Trust me. He buys three. He forgets them in the pocket of his coat and Dean eats them all one morning when they head out before he can have breakfast. After the first bite he turns towards Cas with his eyes wide and asks Where did you get these? And Cas says A friend recommended them.

As he drives by the small movie theater he makes sure to memorize the movies they are showing that week in case they decide to have a movie night out. One time they are giving an old movie whose title sounds familiar, so he stops the pick-up, fishes out his phone and sends Dean a picture of the posters, to which Dean texts back We’re going. Only, some case turns up later than night and they are gone all week and miss it.

When he comes back, Dean snoops in the bags he brings in, makes sure he got everything from Jackson, hears about his chats with Marta. Sometimes he jokes You’re gonna steal her from me, to which Cas responds earnestly, I don’t mean to, and Dean laughs and it echoes on the kitchen walls. And then Cas stops by Jack’s room and knocks lightly on the wooden door, usually ajar. As soon as Jack sees him slipping a hand in his coat’s pocket his face brightens. He stretches a hand out and Cas rests the stamp on his palm. It’s usually a little crumpled but Jack always smiles and says A sea lion! or A whale! or A shark! or A sea horse! and That’s so cool and Thank you Cas, like he just handed him a star. And Cas lingers a few moments by the door just to watch him place it in his little wooden box, together with the rest of his small collection.

Sometimes before going back to the bunker he visits the pizza place, where Max’s mum, Caitlin, works. He opens up Sam’s latest text message and lists off their order. During the weekend, a table far back in a corner is usually crowded with young familiar faces. He stands at the entrance waiting for his order to be ready, looking down at the checkered floor and twisting the receipt in his hands and he feels their eyes on him.

One time Eliot ventures to the counter to get a refill for his drink. He makes a poor attempt at covering the fact that he is watching him and Cas pretends not to notice to spare him the embarrassment, but Eliot surprises him, turns around and bravely asks You are Jack’s father right? Cas hesitates, then says, I am and Eliot smiles and nods enthusiastically, I figured, you look exactly the same. Cas is pleased to hear that. Eliot starts talking non-stop, about things he read and things he knows and asking about Jack without even giving him time to answer and Cas is only saved by Caitlin who hands him his pile of pizza boxes. Eliot follows him to the door and keeps it open for him and says Tell him to text me, okay? So we can hang out sometimes.

On the nights he gets pizza, he takes the boxes to the pick-up, places on the passenger seat and drives carefully back to the bunker. He parks, kills the engine, exits, gets to the passenger seat, takes out the pizza boxes and makes his way to the map room. Dean is usually there already, waiting, with an uncorked beer in one hand. He greets him widening his arms and saying Finally and Thank god I was starving before shouting for Sam to join them. Jack doesn’t need to be called, he comes stumbling immediately after Cas, drawn by the smell of food that fills the hallways.

Dean is on his second slice by the time Sam walks in and complains that Dean didn’t wait for him. Sometimes he comes in with a news or wants to talk about his latest research. And Dean rolls his eyes and points at the pizza, and with his mouth full says, Dude, pizza first, work later and Cas sits by Jack’s side and watches them and feels happy.

  +

 One time Dean drives to meet him in town and they sit at the pizza place and Caitlin stops by the table to get their orders and says It’s nice to have you here for once and Max and Stacy wave at them from the corner table and keep sneaking glances at them and whispering and Dean notices but doesn’t mention it, just fiddles with the menu longer than he usually does and keeps his elbows off the table where he’s sure he can’t touch Cas’.

He says, This is weird and Is this weird? and Cas says, It’s not each time until Dean relaxes and jokes and forgets about whatever was bothering him and when Caitlin comes by asking if they have room for dessert he cheerfully says, We’ll take two slices of pie for the road and nudges Cas with his elbow, now very much in contact with his.

Dean walks beside him down the empty streets, swinging the bag with the pies with one hand and touching the back of Cas’ hand with the other, once, twice. Then he grabs it. He says This is weird and Is this weird? and Cas says It’s not each time and Dean squeezes his hand. He says, Who could’ve known? and Cas says Marta knew and Dean laughs and says Yeah, you’re probably right.

They get to the cars and Dean follows him to his pick-up and Cas lets him push him against it and press his body against his. Cas slips his hands under Dean’s jacket to rest them on his hips, and kisses him slowly and the bag swings and drops from Dean’s fingers.

A long time passes before a distance sound startles them apart. Dean pulls back and says, We should get home. Cas watches him stumbling backwards, picking up his bag, smiling. He says Uh, right and I’ll see you at home and he waves awkwardly. Cas smiles and gets into his pick-up and as he drives right behind the Impala, the town, quiet and empty, rolls by outside his windows and he thinks, I like it here.

[lovespelt]

OK I JUST WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND MY DREAM WAS REALLY WEIRD AND IT GAVE ME AN INSTANT GOOD KUSH AU—

Ok so— Mermaid and Pirate Au.

BUT—!

mermaids are the size of their fish genetic ×2.

If you're mixed with an angel fish you are the size of a human child when you become adult.

Sharks mixed genetics makes one the size of a average boat, bigger than humans.

Mermaids are mixed with fish genetics ×2 while sirens have simple but colorful tails only (and they're the size of a average human)

Ok now Imagine this—

Whale shark! Mer! Izuku x Pirate! Katsuki

Whale sharks are known to be the most largest sea creature in the ocean, imagine a mermaid twice that size LMAO.

Ok so whale sharks can be the size of a large koi fish when their babies so Izuku would look like an average baby mermaid, he sometimes get mistaken as a siren as a child. (Also a whale shark is very fitting for Izuku coz of— y'know, the dots on the whale sharks.)

Ok BACKSTORY—

Izuku likes to swim near boats as a kid.

Katsuki was born in the ocean, on the boat he was standing on coz both of his parents were pirates too (not mitsuki and masaru, I don't think they're good parents ngl.)

He also wants to be captain one day, leading the best ship and the best crew and all that jazz like his parents, like the legendary pirate who had crossed the 7 seas and lived, All Might.

He was kind of Isolated bcz they were always at sea but he was a pretty smart kid and his parent's crew were nice (ft. The whole UA staff coz why not—)

While Izuku's mom told him that he shouldn't ever go near a island coz Izuku's mom is really big and she could easily be spotted so they stayed in the deep waters. (Aka where the Illuminati thing kinda is, but we'll just call it the 7 seas mmk)

But Izuku is a very curious child, he follows is mother's rule ofc but she never told him to stay away from ships nearby.

So when he saw this really big ship, he was amazed by it. He followed the ship when they steered their sails for a few days, he's still close to his mama so it's ok.

Katsuki notices some kind of thing following their ship for the a while now, even as a child he's pretty sharp. So one night he decided to sneak out of his chambers to the edge of the boat to see if the thing is still there.

He looked down and saw a pair of green glowing eyes. He froze, he didn't what they were, they might be a siren from the books he had read but siren's eyes don't glow. And the creature hasn't even sung yet.

So he decided to approach it.

Izuku was surprised. He had seen this small blond human on the ship lot's of times during the day. He was small. Like him! He wondered if they would make good friends?

And when Katsuki finds out that Izuku was not a siren he was relieved,so when they started talking he was surprised of the amount of human words Izuku's knows (wonder who taught Izuku that—*cough* all might *cough*), but as much as Izuku's human speaking is pretty good it's not enough to make a conversation. So every night, Katsuki sneaks out and hangs with Izuku and taught him how to speak like a human and read human books.

4 weeks, nearing the end of the 7 seas after going around it (no one has ever gone through it without surviving, except all might)

Izuku had learned alot, he could read and speak human! Although not perfect but still can pass! But he's sad now coz he can't come with Katsuki, he had to stay close to his pod with his mom.

Katsuki was devastated when he heard this from his (one and only) fish crush friend, he promised that when he grows up, he'd be the best pirate of all time and he would be the next to cross the 7 seas without going around it and meet up with Deku (that was the closest thing Izuku could pronounce his name in human rather than mer tongue) and go on adventures with him.

Izuku, who cried, promise to stay in the 7 seas and wait for Kacchan (again, hard to pronounce words with Izuku's sharp teeth) to come back. So they pinky promised it and pulled each other close.

Nobody would believe a child when they say that they'd seen a mermaid every night while out in the 7 seas. No one would believe Katsuki when he'd say that he had his first kiss with a fish.

Ok so TIME SKIP.

Katsuki became a really well known pirate in all the ocean. He became the new captain on his parent's ship and improved it. He found a good trusting crew who were very skilled at what they do. (Ft. The whole class 1-A with Shinsou coz why not)

He'd found lot's of treasure and gave it to the poor people on islands. Fought a couple of high ranked bad villains of the sea. To the kingdom's rules around, he was a pirate. But to everyone, he was a hero.

So when the time came, he kind of forgotten his promise to Izuku and thought of those times with Izuku were very wistful dreams.

When his ship came close to the 7seas he decided to go through it like all might and to be the best. Ofc the crew was anxious but they trusted their captain.

But when they reached the one half of it, there were really big waves, everyone panicked. Trying to turn around. Katsuki held the steering wheel tight, trying to turn the ship around. Everyone was running around doing whatever they can to make the sails go to the opposite direction.

Then suddenly.

There was a huge spash.

And a very big shadow wad towering down ship.

Everyone slowly looked up and saw.

The most biggest person (?) They had ever seen.

It had dark-green hair with very round equally green eyes, lot's of freckles spreading on it's upper body, and it had a mouth with very sharp teeth.

A mouth that was smiling.

Like and Angel.

Katsuki became breathless.

The creature looked so familiar, just like—

"...Deku..?"

The creature laughed, eyes twinkled with excitement, it swam really fast to somewhere fast and flipped himself like a dolphin. the pirates looked at him in awe.

"Kacchan! Kacchan came back!" The creature swam back to it's original position near the ship and grabbed Katsuki by the back hem of his shirt, lifting him up the ship.

There were surprised and panicked sounds coming from the crew but Katsuki held his hands up, signaling to stop. Never looking away from Izuku.

Izuku placed Katsuki into one of his very large hands and held him up to his face. Katsuki reached out his arms and touched Izuku's nose.

"you... Fucking dumbass,... How did you get so big?!?" Katsuki exclaimed with pretend anger, not that it was convincing, his face had a smile threatening to break, he slapped Izuku's nose with not force.

Izuku giggled and kissed Katsuki all over his face. (Which. His lips are already all over Katsuki's face LMAO)

"I missed you Kacchan." Izuku smiled, "I love you."

Katsuki blushed and grumbled. Forcefully grabbing what he can on Izuku's cheeks and kissed him on the nose, muttering "I love you too..."

The crew from below the ship were confused, awe and low-key scared by this.

"Uh." Denki said dumbly.

Kirishima whistled "wow. Who knew Bakugro had a lover."

"Hah, a fish none the less too, no judgement though." Kyouka snorted.

"well I think they look cute together!" Ochako exclaimed.

"maybe this is why Bakugou wanted to cross the 7 seas? To see his one true love once again~." Sero said, while still looking at the huge ass fish carrying their captain.

"Uh." Kaminari said dumbly. Again.

•°•°•°°•°•°••

Aojxnsjfkekc it's really late and my brain made it look like a fanfic ckenfjkkfv hshshshs hope you like?? It?? Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes! I'm really tired haha. Hope you like this weird ass Au I made.

sdjakjdhas this is such a cute and creative au??? i love whale sharks so much also, so izuku in this au makes me extra happy 😊!

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Club Takamagahara (End) - Dating Game

Woo Doggy! This has been fun to write and I mean FUN. Having no real holds barred and getting really silly was a lot easier than I expected and I had a great time with this arc. 

One of the biggest complaints in the mobile game fandom is the Main Story offers no love interest for the MC and it trails off at this part as the MC is reduced to a go-fer for every NPC’s sidequest. Well I say NO MORE, you will be quite literally the center of everyone’s attention from here on out.

Cars lined up around the entire block of the street and women were lined up along the sidewalk for their tickets. From 8 to 10 p.m., the busiest time of the night was when the stage was filled with shows by the performers, from ancient erotic dramas like Cleopatra and Marc Antony to Chu Zihang's swordplay; off stage, the guests were already drunk. The guests who came late were often groups of girlfriends who had eaten dinner elsewhere and came to join the singing and dancing party in Takamagahara, the performers had to go over and greet them, there was a shortage of manpower everywhere. Both the escorts and waiters were running to work, Whale was roaring outside the dressing room backstage, like the circus troupe master. 

The message of the Romanceable MC Contest had caught fire and boosted to epic proportions. Princess Night was in full swing and featured all the top names in Male Escort business. Even before they got out of the cars, the women were screaming and taking pictures having lined up for hours.

The  white Cadillac Escalade stretch limousine rolled like an anaconda and reflected the millions of electric lights of the Tokyo night. It took up half the block, but there was space left for cars like this, reserved for the VIPs of the Takamagahara elite. No one could park there on pain of towing and a hefty fine.

A man in a hooded cloak pulled the lollipop out of his mouth. His bright green eyes scanned the crowd waiting outside. He crossed his legs one over the other and leaned back. “What percentage of the fans out there are mine?”

“From the ticket sales it seems that you are about 30% of the crowd today, Master Inoue.” The driver, a veteran and son of drivers, had been there for him since he first made it big hosting the Bliss Hall. This driver was so skilled at avoiding paparazzi that he put him under a lifetime contract. Now he was much older, but his driving was still as sharp as ever.

The man in the back seat was barely visible, dressed in all black and keeping the lights down so that it looked just like an empty limo. He huffed with a slight smirk. He crossed his arms and looked down. “Wow. And I’m supposed to have competition?” 

“You are the top male escort in Tokyo, Master Inoue,” rumbled the driver again.

That sharp green eye flicked up to the rear view mirror. “Second… to the top. If you would, sir. But apparently Ruri Kazama isn’t competing.”

Ruri Kazama. The name was so legendary among the escorts of Japan that they scarcely dared to utter it. Although he rarely appeared outside private showings, the man reigned supreme as the king of the male escort business.

“He’s unlikely he would have been able to respond on short notice, Master Inoue…”

“No one skips the Takamagahara…” He looked back outside, pushing back the thick velvet curtain slightly.

“You’ve skipped it by 3 hours sir.”

“I”m only here to see one woman. There’s no need to see any others or stay here too long. I come here, win her little heart, and leave with my prize money.”

“You’re really not going to entertain your fans, sir?”

He grinned, his radiant and white smile shining in the dark of the limo. “There’s value in scarcity. If I popped up in full all the time, there’d be no chase. And as you know very well, my most excellent driver… It's all about the chase! If you would, please?”

The driver put the truck in park and stepped out in his sharp suit and driver’s hat. He pulled the handle on the pearly side door and opened it.

Shining black cowboy boots covered in sparkling rhinestones stepped down from the limo. He moved as smooth and graceful as a dancer in skin tight leather pants. His black leather jacket was open to reveal his bare chest and sculpted abs. His hair, bleached white streamed from a black cowboy hat decorated with shark’s teeth.

His appearance sparked immediate mayhem, screams, and mad panting. Dozens of hands reached out desperately, stretching their fingers towards him as though they were pulled by an extremely powerful magnet. They were all screaming, “Diamond!”

Master Inoue - or to his fans, Diamond - stood still as a statue, hat tipped over his eyes, listening to their desperate pleas with his eyes closed.

It seemed arrogant, but for him, it was always like this. From the time he was a child, people couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. When they caught sight of his brilliant green eyes they were drawn to him before he even knew the difference between boys and girls. Sitting in the stroller, all he had to do was smile and the women would come and coo and smile and ask, please, can I hold him. Please!

“Please! Hold me, Diamond! Never let me go!”

Diamond lifted his head toward the voice. It was a woman in her thirties, tears in her eyes, begging with the desperation of a leper before Christ. If he just wanted to, he could heal her broken heart. He walked casually towards her and saw her eyes get bigger and bigger and then he took her delicate hand in his and gently kissed it.

The woman, struck with a Pentacostal frenzy, trembled and fell to her knees sobbing in desperation, clutching her hand and rocking back and forth. She would probably never wash that hand again.

The little favor revved the up crowd even more and the bouncers hurried to line up and make a barrier. That kiss was all he would grant. He turned and walked through the velvet rope staffed with burly workers with black masks over their eyes. They opened the doors to Takamagahara and he stepped inside. Immediately, two more workers turned to lead him to the VIP area.

“So who’s the lucky lady tonight?” Deep down, he was quite excited. His clients were usually 35 and older. For thousands of dollars, he would have dinner at a fancy restaurant, followed by drinks in some VIP Lounge. Or he would be asked to clean the house naked. Or pretend to be her boyfriend for the night. There was the common misconception that his clients were old or undateable. But that wasn’t his experience at all.

People who had $5,000 to spend on a naked butler could have anyone they wanted.

And they wanted him.

This challenge was new for him. The club picked his woman and they would be paying his escort fee. 

His only task would be to ‘Love her.’ If she felt that then she would give him tickets. Whoever got the most tickets was the winner. When she picked his ‘route’.

---------------------------

It wasn’t that you got a private party, MC. This was a show.  You were on the floor with everyone else. Rather than sticking to the edge of the crowd you got your table in the shape of a figure 8 in the middle of a raised platform filled with fish swimming about and surrounded by plush red couches in the shape of women’s lips. And already, the bottles were open. 

You’re wearing another dress, not a cheongsam this time. It was a light green satin tube dress that hugged your figure and barely covered anything. Your hair was long and down your shoulders and your make up again was light. For such a simple look, you had spent hours in the spa that day while they made sure your hair was softer than it ever had been. You smelled like lilac and roses. 

A man with short blond hair cropped above his ears, blue eyes and a black shirt so tight it conformed to every muscle in his body yelled above the music. “Where are you from?”

“Uh… Russia!”

“Russia! Woooow! Are you some sort of Oil Baron?”

“Yeah!” You yell figuring nothing you said mattered. They wouldn't remember anything anyway would they?

He flicks his wrist and produces an unopened rose stem, seemingly from thin air and offers it to you. “To me you’re worth more than all the oil in the world. I hope we get to know each other well, MC.”

Below the shirt, He wore pale form fitting jeans that hugged his considerable muscle just like Caesar’s outfit did. But his shoes were casual sneakers without ornamentation.

You accept the rose he offers you, feeling a bit shy.

Another man in a golden blouse that is made of fabric so sheer you could see the belly button piercing underneath, pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. He puffs out a perfect ring of smoke between his thin lips. “That would be Oil Baroness, Calypso…” He says. “She must have more pull than just money to bring us all to the same table.” His voice was deep and carried through the noise. He pulled another drag and sipped his liquor. But he was looking at you with calculating dark eyes.

A silver coin goes spinning on the table. A man in fiery red hair tied back in a ponytail, puffy red coat and a long chain over his bare chest lifts his chin at you. His eyes are as silver as that coin. “Heads or Tails, MC?”

“What am I betting on?” You ask.

His smile spreads further. “I just said heads or tails.”

“Hey, go easy, she’s new!” The man in the skintight black shirt returns with a bottle of vodka and pours it into a glass.

The redhead slaps his hand over the coin. It’s painted with an elaborate henna tattoo, elaborate, like stained glass. “You’re not going to win by going easy…”

The smell of the vodka is the mix of rubbing alcohol and gasoline. Light a match and it might produce a plume of flame! You lean away, repulsed, but the man next to you brazenly pours himself a glass and downs it. Sighing roughly like he might breathe fire, he grins. “That’s the good stuff! But you must drink it every day right?”

“Yeah!” You take cautious sips but the burn builds and builds until it overwhelms you and forces you to stop and cough into your arm.

Caesar, Mingfei and Chu Zihang were nowhere to be found. It was clear this club was over occupancy and over staffed so there was no rescuing you. All the waiters were running around. From somewhere in the hall, glass breaks.

A finger taps your shoulder. You’re met by a bright green gaze in a pale face.

You flinch as a crown is laid on your head.

“Your Majesty…” The man bows to you.

“Your Majesty!”  They all echo with bows and kittenish smiles. For years, you’d never considered trying to date anyone. You lived like you were preparing for war. Then the war came and never let up. Now, you’re surrounded by men who could honestly be called the handsomest in Tokyo who were placing their hands on their broad chests and bowing their heads in fealty.

Off stage, the women on the floor whooped with delight.

Cowboy hat tipped over one eye, shirtless in his jacket, with a bare hairless chest, the man who gave you the jeweled tiara leaned over the couch. Every muscle stood out in carefully carved relief and your eyes followed them down to where they disappeared below his waist. The elastic band of his boxers peek up from the pants. You’d seen naked people before. But they were all familiar, people you knew and were fine with. This is the first time encountering the bare chest of a complete stranger and he’s so close you can smell his sweat. “Wow…” He says quietly, in a low purr next to your ear.

“I’m sorry?”

“You are… beautiful.” His eyes roamed about your body with a lopsided smile, his eyebrows raising. “I have to say I am caught by surprise.”

If your face gets any hotter it might catch fire.

He vaults over the couch, plops next to you and leans in, filling your vision. He gives a quick wink. “I’m yours for the night.”

“Diamond is always this forward but the truth is, he’s the most inexperienced of all of us.”

Diamond shoots the yellow shirt a glare. “I’m experienced in everything she would possibly want, Armani.”

“Yes, but we must go gently, gently…” The black shirt lightly rustles your hair. “We don't want to scare her off.”

“I’m here to do what she wants me to do…” Diamond waves the other men away before addressing you again. “Well, what’s your name?”

You tell him.

“Beautiful… let me guess? Russian?” His hand crept over to envelope yours in a steady grip. His fingers were so much larger than yours and soft like they were bathed in milk every day. There were no calluses. When Mingfei or Caesar touched you, there were roughened, thick patches of skin from hours of practice at the shooting ranges. His nails were even, shining and unbroken.

He raises your hand to his lips and gives it a small kiss. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. You can call me, Diamond.”

“Okay, Diamond.” You glance up at his eyes. He follows your gaze down when it falls again, trying to hold it as much as possible to the point where he leans over and tilts his head to do so. Every time you look up, those eyes are there, to catch that glance, like a serpent hypnotizing his prey.

He holds your drink out to you and you accept it with thanks.

“Are you cold? I noticed you’re keeping your feet tucked under.”

“Yes, it’s… a little cold.”

He shrugged off his jacket and laid it over your shoulders. It was very warm and you realized that the smell of the cologne he was wearing surrounded you like a thick heavy fog.  You could now see his body in all its glory. You belatedly realize that the observation of your being cold was just an excuse for him to remove one of the few pieces of clothing he had!

His shoulders.. The way his neck curved into them and then down to his back. You’d seen shoulders like his before but for some reason, in seeing someone new, made your eye rest on it that much longer, on the way the muscle hugged his bone . The cold in the room made his nipples stand out and...

“Anything else I can do to make you more comfortable, Your Highness?” He stayed turned to you. The way his abs wrinkled. That little valley on his side that disappeared when it met the leather pants. You were naturally observant. Everything you saw was getting laser etched into your mind. In an effort to stop it, you return to his eyes but even that wasn’t safe. He was so close, you could notice small flecks of blue and gold that enhanced the color. 

“Your eyes are really pretty.” You say this, but it doesn’t sound right even in your own ears. It wasn’t really his eyes you wanted to say something about.

He gives an easy relaxed smile, his eyebrows lift once. “Your eyes are prettier.”

“No they’re not.”

“I think I’m gonna barf. Let a pro show you how it’s done.” The redhead plants one arm between you and Diamond and ignores his furious glare.

His lips were really pink, almost cherry red, but you don’t see any sign of gaudy lipstick that Caesar wore. Everything about this man was gorgeous, even the light smatter of freckles on his nose. And everything about him was natural, save his hair color. The breath from his nose tickles your lips. He’s not backing away, he only tilts his head a bit.

You start to imagine what it might be like to kiss him. He draws a bit closer… closer. You close your eyes and wait. Wait… nothing.

“Can I?” He asks, quietly pleading.

“Uh...huh?” You press the words out from a stomach that was already squeezed tight like a fist.

“Good. I’ll keep that in mind for later.” The redhead pulls back and sashays back to this spot on the couch, giving Diamond a sharp snap of his fingers, just inches on his face. “Get on my level.”

“Alright, Alright, point taken.” Diamond pours himself some vodka.

The man in the yellow blouse, Armani, tilts his glass a bit. “Popularity is just a sign of good marketing and ubiquity. None of us can doubt your social media prowess, Diamond, but this is much higher class.”

He’s then staring at you with a half-lidded gaze. “Perhaps the baroness should accustom herself to someone who has dined with high officials. The ones with real power.”

“Okay…” You whisper, you’re completely captivated, unable to move.

“But that’s boring.” The Redhead sighs. “She needs to have more anticipation and suspense!”

“Your name is Chance because whether or not you’re any good is a complete crapshoot.” Armani sips his whiskey.

“But you could hit the jackpot.” He winks at you. “I’m one in a million.”

A loud popping sound  made you suddenly duck but he held you close. Confetti and glitter rained from the ceiling and cascaded over your skin. You look at your arm and watch the play of the disco lights on the sparkle.

“It’s time to give out Star-Heart Tickets! Who is the Ikemen who’s won this round?!” Whale is still emceeing this event and apparently was watching you. A waiter comes by with a basket full of stars with hearts in the middle.

You look at face after glorious handsome face. They were all leaning forward, smiling, waiting. Off stage people were yelling. Bets were being taken. “Diamond! Diamond!”

“PIck Armani he’s the best!”

“You’ll love Calypso!”

“Go with Chance!!”

“I don’t know…” You say, your voice weak. You look at your glass but it seems like the level has hardly moved even though you already feel dizzy.

“No one!” Whale shouts loudly. 

There must be a microphone because you’re not sure how he’s hearing what you’re saying. A gasp ripples through the crowd surrounding you and they fall to a confused silence. All the men sitting around you sit up straight, their faces each registering different levels of surprise and consternation. Save Chance, who whooped loud. “Yeah! Now this is what I’ve been waiting for! Let the games begin!” He pumped his fist.

Chance makes a mighty leap on the table and stands in front of you, all six feet of masculine bravado. “Let me give it to you straight. It’s true, I’m not always everyone’s cup of tea, I go buck wild sometimes.” He sweeps his arms across the table at the other men. “But if girls just fall into your lap at the first sight, how do you know how to compete? Ya don’t!”

Armani stares up at Chance and slowly sets his whiskey down. The others also suddenly changed their demeanor, grave determination and desire in their eyes.

[thiswasinevitableid]

13 fury and 29 leviathan, Ot4, nsfw, please!

I decided to split these up, so here’s Leviathan, and fury will be a separate fill! Indrid’s design is based on an oarfish, Duck on a grouper, Barclay on a whale shark, and Stern is a black and white snapper.

There are times Joseph wishes he was just a brain floating in seashell, not a mer with a body that needs things like food, sleep, and sex. The migration of the Leviathans is one such time.

Every five years, the larger creatures of the Marianas Trench travel upwards, for reasons that remain mysterious to even the deep sea mers. Five years ago, Joseph was ill. Five years before, his job was such that he was unable to take the few days needed to visit the migration sight and record his findings. Now that his chance has come, he’s not letting anything, be it the possibility of losing a limb if he gets too close to the giants or the sparse fishing near his camp stop him.

And he’s certainly not letting his heat stop him.

 He’s chosen the optimal observation point, so when another mer swims into the view, he prays they won’t chase him off or make noise.

“Oh, apologies, I was not anticipating this timeline.” The merman is angular around the face, his tan body bookended with silver; his moonlight colored hair occasionally falls across glowing, red eyes, and his tail is longer than average, elegantly metallic and fanned with red. He strikes Joseph as formidable, so it’s a good thing that he seems friendly.

The new mer cocks his head, “You’re here to observe the migration.”

“I am. Um, are you?” It could be fun to have a fellow rare creature’s enthusiast to keep him company.

“No. I come here to draw, but I’m happy to share the space with you.”

“Thank you.”

They make small talk, during which the other mer introduces himself as Indrid, a seer for hire, and informs Joseph that the migration will start in the next ten minutes.

While his brain focuses on the task ahead, his heat creeps through his body. It’s not too bad, but he knows it will only get more intense as the day moves one. It’s mostly agitation right now, not the aches and tunnel vision that will come for him over the next three days. He’s not sure if he’s releasing any sort of scent signals, because the last thing he needs while trying to record the leviathans is someone pestering him.

Indrid looks up from his drawing, sets it carefully on a stone and swims a circle around Joseph, “Ah, I was not imagining things. You are giving off heat pheromones. And I thought I was prone to unlucky timing.”

“It’s not like I did it on purpose.” Joseph grumbles.

“Of course not. I, ah, do not mean to worry you, but there are many futures where your research is interrupted by hopeful suitors.”

“Damn it.”

“If it would help, I could stay close and pretend to be your mate. You, ah, you would not need to actually be such, though I am not opposed to such things once you are done with your day.” His ears flick once, “the point is, my help is not contingent on sex.”

“That…that would be very helpful, thank you.” Indrid seems genuinely eager to help him, which set fondness squirming up his spine.

Indrid retrieves his supplies, curls the end of his tail around the black and white of Joseph’s own, and murmurs, “The first one should appear in under twenty-seconds.”

He’s right on the money, Joseph stifling a gasp of delight as the massive, bone-white body of a Ningen emerges. It’s pace is alarming fast for something so large.

Next is a creature he’s never so much as read of; serpentine and bioluminescent, with light lures fanned out across it’s forehead.

Movement to his left, another mer emerging from the nearby rocks with their eyes on him. Indrid waits a beat, then whips his head around to hiss at the newcomer, frilling his ears out as he does. They turn tail instantly.

“They didn’t even argue.” He’s impressed.

“I have a bit of a, ah, a reputation. It’s unearned, mind you, but sometimes it comes in handy.”

Joseph nods, turns his attention back to the trench just in time to see a Kraken fleeing from a pair of massive sharks.

He continues his observation with no interruptions, Indrid’s presence enough to deter the few mers who come to investigate him. His new acquaintance offers additional benefits; the physical contact soothes his heat to a degree, especially when pretends that this is all a prelude to that lovely tail wrapping around him while Indrid sinks his teeth into his shoulders.

Better still, during a lull in conversation he glances over to find Indrid has captured the leviathans on paper.

“It seemed to me your notes could use illustrations.” He says a moment before Joseph can ask.

“That’s, Indrid those are incredible, you didn’t need to set your own projects aside-“

“This is more fun than drawing the futures. And more rewarding.” He smiles at Joseph’s excitement.

It’s going on hour seven of observation that his body betrays him; his heat seeps into every nerve, his body twitching and squirming in it’s desire to swim off and get off as soon as possible.

“I foresee the migration lasting three more days. If you need to be done for the day, I do not think it will damage your research.”

“I…”

“However” Indrid says casually, “if you want to stay longer but are struggling to, I can always tell you that good mates can last a few hours more.”

“Shit” The part of his tail concealing his dick pulses, “Indrid, how did you know-“

“Foresight.” Indrid taps his temple, grinning wider.

“I, I think I can call it a night.” He repacks his observation kit, Indrid’s tail holding his all the while. Then he whirls, kissing him as the other mer lets out a muffled laugh.

“My, it must have gotten intense.” Indrid strokes his cheek, roving his eyes up and down his body.

“Very. I, I’m sorry, I’m not very good at spontaneity during my heats, so this might be awkward.” He tries to pet Indrid’s tail, only for his wrists to be caught in a strong hold.

“What do you usually do?”

“I, um, I pick out potential partners ahead of time. And if there aren’t any I’m interested in, I just hole up on my own until it’s over. Besides, it’s not just about who I want; what I want can be a bit of a surprise for most mers.”

Indrid leans close, purrs in his ear, “Am I right that you would call yourself, ah, needy pet?”

“Hollllyshit”

“Answer me.” There’s an edge to his lilt.

“Yes, I would, Indrid please-“

“Hush.” The mer begins swimming them towards the houses on the cliffs, “I have just the thing. You need all the attention you can get, more than I can give without passing out, but there is an easy solution.” He turns the conversation away from sex, asking Joseph about his work until they reach the entrance to a home in the rocks, the front of it sporting an impressive garden.

“’Drid, that you?” A voice calls as they swim down the hallway.

“Yes, my love. And I brought a guest.” They round the corner into a large kitchen. Seated at the table is a merman with short, dark hair, and a mottled green and brown fin. He sets the model ship he’s working on into a carved box, then propels himself with obvious, easy strength to capture Indrid in a kiss. It’s only when Indrid nudges him to turn his head that he sees Joseph.

“Oh, uh, name’s Duck, welcome to our place.” He holds out a hand, smile crooked and soft, the evening light falling around the curves of his body in a way that makes it impossible for Joseph to look anywhere else.

“It’s lovely.” He takes Duck’s hand, shaking it as Indrid explains how they met. Duck takes a polite interest in it, adding that he’s done restoration work on the scant plant life near the edge of the trench.

“Now, what I wanna know is if you invited him for the reason I think you did.” Duck sends a pointed look at Josephs tail, where silver and blue are starting to pulse in place of his usual colors.

“Yes. Assuming everyone is amenable to the idea. Speaking of which, where is, ah, nevermind, here he comes.”

“Hey Indrid, should I start dinner? Heard you say something about a guest—oh holy fuck.”

Joseph clamps his hands over his mouth to stifle the excited moan that tries to leap out.

“You two know each other?” Duck looks between them, then smirks, “hold on. Barclay, is this fella mr. tall, dark, and handsome you keep swoonin over?”

“I, uh, I” Barclay seems to be trying to hide behind his grey and black-speckled tail, “I didn’t know this is where you were going. When you said vacation I assumed, like, you’d go somewhere fancy. Not just a few miles out from the city.”

“If the guy behind me hadn’t been in such a rush to get his lunch, I could have told you more.” He swims forward, heat ebbing in the face of discovering where the mer he’s had a crush on for months lives (and that Indrid has managed to secure two of the most attractive mermen in the world as partners).

Before he can reach Barclay, he jerks to a stop. Duck has hold of the end of his tail, though from the sharp-toothed grin this tableau was Indrid’s idea.

“Am I correct” Indrid swims lazy circles around the other three, “that we are all in agreement that the best way for Joseph to manage his heat is for us to take turns helping him relieve the tension?”

“Yep”

“Uh huh.”

“Yes, now for gods sake let’s get to it.” He tries swimming forward, discovers Duck is even stronger than he looks, and lets out a frustrated, horny whine. Duck makes a sympathetic noise, rubbing his tail soothingly. Barclay decides to close the distance himself, only to freeze at Indrid’s voice.

“I believe you said something about dinner, dear one.”

“But-“ Barclay’s brown eyes send a pleading look at between Joseph and Indrid.

“You’ll get your turn, or several if the timelines are correct, but it won’t do for all of us to get caught up in the heat of the moment and forget to eat. Or for Joseph to burn through a great deal of energy and not replenish it. Besides, he clearly likes your cooking. You have a chance to show off.”

Barclay chuckles, “You’re a menace, sir.”

“You love me for it.”

“I do.” Barclay kisses Indrid as he drifts by, gives one more appreciative, longing look at Joseph, and turns back to the counter. Joseph’s back hits the table a split-second later, Indrid’s face and frilled-out ears filling his vision.

“Now, be a good little pet and let me fuck you.” Ink-smudged fingers expertly stroke his scales as his tail curves around him, trapping them together. The pressure of his touch and the sting of his teeth as they graze his collarbone make Joseph buck in his hold.

“IndridpleaseOHshit, shit” a cock slides into him, “that, that was fast.”

“I have been swimming in your desire for hours. It was only because you were so very engrossed in your work that I ohnnnn, I did not ask to do this sooner.” Indrid nibbles his ear, his tail rippling with effort as he fucks deeper, “you just seemed so happy.”

Joseph moans, wrapping his arms around Indrids shoulders, “That’s one of the most considerate things anyone’s done for me in months.”

“You deserve it, pet, just as much as you deserve to be fucked so much you’re too full to swim.”

“No, ahnnfuck, no wonder Barclay looks so content on Monday mornings, if this is how you treat your mates.”

Indrid trills, blushes, and then hides the fact by sinking his teeth into Joseph’s shoulder. The pain lights him up from tail-tip to the top of his head and he buries a kiss in Indrid’s neck. The tendrils of his cock, already wound around Indrid’s shaft, tighten as the other mer kisses along the bite mark.

“That’s it pet, go ahead and cum, you’ve been so patient, held out so long, you’ll feel so much better if you do.”

The fact that it’s the act of receiving permission that tips him over the edge is probably something to bring up with his therapist, but he’s not thinking about that now. Right now, his world is nothing more than blinding pleasure and his body screaming with relief that he’s finally getting off.

Indrid stays still as he rides it out, trilling softly as he kisses his cheeks. He waits until Joseph meets his eyes and nods before he begins rolling his hips, tail coiling and relaxing in time with his efforts.

“There we are, you can take a break pet, lay here and let me-AHhhnn” His measured thrusts morph into sharp jerks. Joseph’s cock perks up as knuckles graze it, and Duck’s chin rests on Indrid’s shoulder.

“Sorry, you know watchin you play all high and mighty turns me on. Especially when you’re fuckin such a handsome piece of tail.” Duck fingers open the lower part of the slit from which Indrid’s cock emerged.

“No complaAAIInts here” Indrid’s movements turn wilder by the moment and he cranes his neck backwards in search of kisses. Joseph would sit up so he and Duck could lavish him with them from both sides, but his muscles aren’t quite up to that yet.

There are two, high trills, one after the other as Duck bites the tip of Indrid’s ear and then the base of his neck. Indrid thrusts as deep as he can, cumming with satisfied chirps and moans as Duck sucks a bruise into his neck.

As Indrid pulls out, he rubs at the scales around Joseph’s cock in a way he’s never seen before, one that makes everything close up the instant his cock is all the way free. He raises an eyebrow, intrigued.

“It’s courteous to hold onto what a mate gives you” Indrid leans closer, adding, “I also suspect Barclay will enjoy it.”

Indrid helps Joseph sit up, clearly intending to guide him over to service Duck, but Joseph is miles ahead of him, darting out to wrap his arms around his middle and kiss his way from his chest to his belly.

“Y;know, Barclay made it sound like you were real reserved, shy even. Know heats can make folks a little wild, but this seems like a stretch.”

“It’s, it’s not the heat. It’s you. It’s this” He presses another kiss to his belly slides his hands down to grope his upper tail, “you’re, well, let’s just say I think Indrid has incredible taste. Your whole body is divine, Duck” he nips the sensitive band where scales give way to skin, “if someone told me you swam straight out of Poseidon’s Court, I’d believe them.”

“Fuck, are you always like this?” Duck looks at Barclay, who’s holding a spoon so tight it’s cracking.

“Nope.” The cooks voice is creeping higher as he watches Joseph lick and kiss at Duck’s tail.

Duck stills him with a hand in his hair, keeping his eyes on Barclay, “Do you, uh wanna switch? I can keep an eye on whatever you’re makin so you don’t gotta wait longer.”

“No, I, I wanna be good. I can be patient. But, uh, thanks.”

“Suit yourself. Alright handsome, you can keep goinnnnfuck, ohfuckyeah that’s good.” Duck cups the back of his head, urging him on. Joseph understands why Indrid wasn’t thrown by his unconventional cock; Duck’s is the same, multiple short, hyper-sensitive tendrils emerging from a slit instead of a shaft.

To his delight Duck is vocal, moaning and groaning as he tells him how well he’s doing, how perfect he looks with a cock in his mouth.

“Oughta, oughta make you suck ‘Drid and Barclay at the same time, be so fuckin hot, think I could cum without even touchin myself ohfuck, yeah, do that again.”

The tendrils tickle when they glide over his tongue, harden when he curls his lips around a few and sucks.

“Enjoying yourself my love?”

“You know it, darling. Fuck, Joe, where the fuck did you learn to suck dick like this?”

He pulls back, winks, “Maybe if you take me out to dinner, I’ll tell you the whole sordid tale.”

“You got a date” Duck dips down to kiss him, then shoves him back into place, grinding his hips harder before cumming with a half-laugh, half-moan. He’s still shaking when he guides Joseph so they’re face to face and kisses him, whispering, “Thanks for that, handsome.”

He doesn’t have time to note that no one’s ever thanked him for blowing them before there’s a thunk of bowls on the nearby table.

“Dinner’s ready.” Barclays cock is visibly throbbing under his scales, but he lets Indrid lead him to a chair, set a bowl next to him, and whisper in his ear with a mischievous grin. The cook nods, and then Indrid is waving Joseph over.

“You really should eat, you barely had any lunch, but Barclay’s been patient. I recommend multitasking.” Indrid pecks their cheeks one after the other, then goes to sit in Duck’s lap.

Joseph lowers himself and rubs their tails together, “Dinner smells delicious.”

“It’s not the only thing.” Barclay rumbles, then shakes his head, “sorry, I’m super-responsive to other mers heats, we, we can just have dinner if you want, you don’t have to-“

“Barclay, you’ve been on my mind for months. I want to.” His tendrils don’t coax so much as demand Barclay’s cock enter him and they moan in tandem as Joseph settles into place.

“Here” Barclay holds up a piece of fresh crab and Joseph eats it from between his fingers. It’s perfect, just like every meal Barclay’s ever made him. He “mmmms” and opens his mouth for another, this time biting Barclays finger before taking it.

“Tall, dark, and handsome, huh?”

The cook blushes, “Yeah. You, gods you’re always so put-together, I’d say this was a dream come true by my brain can only fantasize about you, like, calling me up to your office and sucking you off. Never thought I’d see you heat-crazed and getting fucked by my boyfriend and one of my best friends. Also, it’s so fucking hot” he gives his first sharp thrust up, “to fuck Indrid’s cum back into you.”

“I told you so.” Indrid murmurs from behind them.

Joseph rocks his hips, kissing Barclay’s cheeks and stroking his beard, “Seeing you is the best part of my day; I, um, I even redid my budget so I could come get lunch more often. I almost asked if you wanted to help me with my heat but I, I was worried it’d be overstepping.”

“Nah. Not for my favorite customer.” Barclay kisses his nose.

“Does AHnnnshit,” Barclay’s cock is thick enough to catch all the tendrils, “does this mean I get a discount now?”

“Of course, ten percent off for every blowjob.”

“I’ll be eating for free in no time. Possibly the end, ohfuckyes, of this heat.” He stops, tries to correct, “that’s, um, that’s if you want to see me again after tonight.”

Barclay nuzzles his neck, “I do. Gonna take a wild guess and say those two do too. And in case you think I’m kidding…”

Joseph cums as Barclay bites the opposite shoulder from where Indrid’s mark is still red, the other mer growling as he pumps his hips up into him again and again, refusing to let go until his cum mixes with Indrid’s and Joseph’s shoulder sports a deep purple bruise.

“Holy shit.” Joseph collapses against his chest.

“Better, babe?” Barclay kisses the top of his head.

He looks over his shoulder at where Duck and Indrid are trading increasingly heated kisses.

“Yes, but I’m just getting started…”

Joseph wakes up in an empty bed, his last memory of Duck fucking him while he jacked Indrid and Barclay off, one in each hand.

Maybe they all have work? Maybe they’re hoping he’ll take a hint and leave…

“Mornin Joe” Duck floats in the bedroom doorway, “Barclay asked me to come get you. He’s almost finished packin breakfast up.”

“Oh,for, um, for me to take on the road?”

Duck shakes his head, “for all four of us; ‘Drid showed us drawins from yesterday and we decided we’d like to join you. If, uh, if that’s okay?”

Joseph swims over to take his hand, “it’s perfect.”

[crackcrocs]

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.  

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system  time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good  MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿  if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #391

“if you wanna soar with vultures, you’ll have to swallow crow”

Have you ever been to Australia? No. I want to visit a friend there, but honestly, Australia scares me too much lmao. That place is like, the Hard mode in life. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My sister's husband just had his. Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. No. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? My best fren. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Haha, yeah... I caused a few scratches on Ozzy's Black Rain, as well as one more of his, where the album name is surprisingly evading me. What’s your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. What’s your favorite fast food meal? Burgers or chicken tenders are usually my go-to, depending on the place. Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? The Cheesecake Factory. @_@ Lamb chops or pork chops? I've actually never tried lamb chops before, but I've always thought they look yummy. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, probably. It's very motivating. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yeah, I like 'em. They're one of Dad's faves. What size is your bed? Queen. What is the first meal you remember eating? Hell if I know. What was the first movie you ever saw? I also don't remember. What percentile of your class were you in? The top. Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? I probably could, but I'm not going to. What forms of birth control have you used? The pill and also just not having a sex life lmao. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? A sponge. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? I have zero clue what's in the top twenty. Ever punched a wall? No. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant in the house. My fingers. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? I've never been pulled over. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? Probably this laptop. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? My snake. Or my most recent tattoo, idr. What is your favorite cover song? I think Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" is unbeatable as a cover. Well, or Johnny Cash's "Hurt." Both SLAUGHTER the originals. Did you ever drop out of school? College, three times. Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? No. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? Considering the location, having a pilonidal cyst drained by pushing on it. Jesus FUCKING Christ it hurt so goddamn bad. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don’t have a job. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Zero, generally. What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? The Holocaust. What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? *shrug* I don't watch the news. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Putting aside my illogical fear of whale sharks, probably giant squid. Like no thank u. What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? Teleportation. Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. There are WAY too many people in the world for that. Plus, you're talking to a person who has been in love with two different individuals, and both were perfectly valid feelings. Why are you best friends with your best friend? She's just simply amazing. Strong, funny, intelligent, caring, supportive, loyal... She's, again, amazing. Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? Realistically, no. But it's nice to imagine. Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? *shrug* It would depend on what I wanted to eat. What do you think of when you look at the stars? Just the vastness of everything, and I wonder what it's like up there in outer space. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Just... feel like I did something. What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Maybe Belle? To be totally honest, I don't really remember the details of most of their personalities. What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Love. Do you use any acne medication? Not anymore. Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? I took Latin for one semester, and it was hard as FUCK. I quickly changed to German next semester and did that for all four available classes. Do you still have a landline phone in your home? No. Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? I go to the TMS therapy office every weekday, and I might ride with my mom to pick up groceries or something. How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? Never anymore because my mic doesn't work on this laptop, so there's no reason to. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? Neither, actually. What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Mom bought a nice bottle of some pink lemonade Smirnoff the other day for us to try, but she left it at my sister's. ;-; It looked soooo good. Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? Yeah. Mom got some Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese's Puffs. What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? Excluding myself, I wanna say five. Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No. Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I've had Venus forrrr... I want to say four years, and Roman for two, I think. What's your favourite kind of cheese? American. Have you danced in the rain? No. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I haven't worn jeans in many years. Do you enjoy Mario games? Not especially. Mario Kart is fun, though. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Yes. That shit hurts. Who was last to cook for you? My mom. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? YES!!!!! You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Freeze, physically and mentally. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to say no. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty of times. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because she always feels unwanted at Ashley's house. It wasn't unexpected, honestly. She cries a lot in the car when she leaves my sister's house, honestly. It's heartbreaking. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. :/ Are you more of a dog or cat person? I'm a cat person. That only becomes more apparent with time, really. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I probably have, given I've had nightmares of strangling someone, punching and slapping people... all kinds of stuff. My nightmares are so fucking violent and I hate it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My dog, as well as my younger sister's old pup. And Mom's. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Did your grandparents teach you anything? To not be horrendously old-fashioned and to never have kids, yes. Congrats, Grandma, I took both things to heart. Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? No. Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? Not massively, no. I like Deadpool (yeah, yeah, antihero, whatever) and Spider-Man. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yes to both. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? I don't think so. Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Yes, I LOVED them. Sometimes I'm still tempted to make a new account, I shit you not, lol. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy technician or some title like that for a long time. Is there anything unusual about your house? I don't think so? How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you listen to Rise Against? I only know "Re-education (Through Labor)," but I LOVE that song. When was the last time you congratulated someone? It was probably something on Facebook, but idr. Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Go no, I could never. How old were you when you got your ears pierced? I don't remember my age, but old enough where I did it of my own volition. Do you snore when you sleep? No. Surprising for someone with sleep apnea as horrendous as mine. What was the last type of burger you ate? I had a McDouble from McDonald's a few nights ago.

[hypnoticwinter]

SELFAGGRANDIZE PART II

They tell me I am the girl who went into the sea and came out undrowned, with seaweed and witch’s hair strangled around my throat and caught in my long wicker arms. They say I fought with death and bested it, that I keep whales for my kings and courtiers and that I let the squid leave its suckermarks on my neck from where we kissed and made up one drowsy evening (for all evenings are drowsy at the bottom of the ocean) and then laid together. The artists draw pictures of me, either demure and nice and lace-wearing or naked and being fucked senseless by octopi or mermen or great sweaty Dagon, one-eyed and elephantine and with a cock so big he can’t fit two-thirds of it into me. These last always make me laugh cause I’ve seen Dagon, I’ve held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep (he felt their motion much more easily than he felt the rocking of the waves, so far beneath the surface that the water is as solid as stone) and when it was time I put my hand in his mouth and extinguished him like we used to whip flies off the walls of our tent, back when we camped.

They tell me that I came out dripping wet and with a mouth like a shark’s, no, with eyes like a shark’s, big and black marbles rolling around in my skull, glossy and waterproof. They tell me that I have had to submerge myself in saltwater every day since or risk drying out and shriveling up and clunking to the floor like pumice, like Lot’s wife with a chunk taken out of her and thus losing stability and clattering to the ground and breaking apart. It was such a shame, too, for I knew the man who wielded the maul who knocked the chunk out and I knew Lot’s wife too, I knew all of them. I did not know god and I think he did not know me, for I looked back on Gomorrah and remained untransfigured – but perhaps all that could have been done to me already had been.

As you may suspect I am older than I look.

One man writes to me every week to tell me he loves me. I laugh and eat his letters and tell the little demons in my stomach to use the remains in the furnace (they pronounce it like a bad fake eye-talian, foornachey) to let me go on billowing smoke and steam and all sorts of excreta for another day. I have left my home and walk the streets at night but the men who stop me think I am what I am not. I look like one of the expensive women on television who wear outfits and sit on stages and promise ruin on each other but never follow through, but inside I am all carbon-fiber and folded anodized steel. I am clean enough to be used in surgery, although I have no clue what implement they would make of me. I have scalpel nights and breakneck days and long, wet, rainy afternoons that rust my stainlessness right through the lacquer my lover spread on me, to keep moisture from me.

I am deserts drowning themselves to keep from the rain; that is one line the man who writes to me wrote. About me, I mean, not about himself. I don’t pretend to know what he means – I can only feel, I can only put my tongue to the nerveless wires running through my body and feel the jolt like citrus, like adamant, like every sharp thing in the world at once. At night when I am supposed to sleep I sit up and watch the water rising outside my window and that old familiar darkness flooding into my world once again, and my body adapts so well it is a joy to watch my bones realign and pop into their sockets and flesh to expand and suddenly I am something with membrane and great fins and furls, something agile underwater but that can only die on land. Would they still want to fuck me, seeing me like this?

They tell me I usually go out right before the sun rises, to the old place where nothing grows, right on the edge of the city, before it all fades into desert, and I stare at the sun like it was somebody I used to know. They follow me, discretely, to make sure I don’t get into trouble. Usually I try to give them the slip and sometimes it works; when it does I run howling through back alleys, getting gore beneath my fingernails and around my mouth and letting my hair catch on lampposts and fences and all jutting things of the earth. I rocket off walls and spend my pent-up energy wisely and when I return I sleep like the dead and waken with innocent smiles and breath so sweet it falls like powdered sugar onto my chest.

I catch the sun in my claws and rend it to pieces every night, and that is why it is dark. The stars are just the bits I missed. I will get them all eventually.

They tell me I am beautiful; I do not see it. When I look at myself in the mirror I see dark eyes and hair like weeds and raven’s breath gusting from my half-open mouth. I see cheekbones like knives and teeth that come with promises attached, each one, and sharpness enough to fulfill. I want to say I am Botticelli-beautiful, that men love me, that women are envious of me, that I could make myself a living from sitting and looking pretty, but I cannot. Ever since I came out of the sea, they tell me, I have only made a living by ending the living, from the bacteria I exterminate in the depths of my furnaced gut or in the air-smelter of my lungs, from the animals I devour whole in order to sate my life-lust, to wire my nerves with the kill-thrill thus derived, from the men I murder with every sharp, sharp glance and leave sprawled on the sidewalks behind me as I walk on unmoved, scuttling on arthropod’s limbs, slithering with snake’s borrowed muscles, floating and flying and weaving every menace as I smile and smile and smile on.

They no longer exist, they tell me. They were in aid of me and now that I need them no longer, they melt. I tried to save them, little wee men, I put them in my freezer and turned it up full blast, but all that did was freeze their dissolving entrails and leave such a stink - !

They tell me I am the girl who went into the sea and came out undrowned, that I fought with death and bested him, but in that they are wrong, for I am just the girl who went into the sea and dreamed such dreams with her mind’s last iota of thinking electricity before my soul annealed itself and went missing for long, long, long, and now the stars are right and I find time to tell stories to their infants in nebula’s nursery.

 But that is only what they tell me.

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Bluegrass-Chapter Eight

                                        Thank you @statell​ for everything

Previous chapters at AO3

Chapter Eight

Isobel was busy with her trainer and lover most days. But having been home a few evenings in the past weeks she noticed that Jamie spent little time there. At first, it was a relief not to have to interact with him. By the third night, she became suspicious about what he might be doing. He was gone all evening, with the compound locked up for the night. Nevertheless, she spent just enough time in the barn to get her horse ready and tacked up before leaving to look for her trainer in the field. It didn’t matter how many times they met this way, it never ceased to thrill her. Meeting your lover right under the nose of the man you live with was delicious.

After a secret rendezvous with her lover, Isobel ran her horse from the lower fields right to the stall door and then ripped her tack off. The gorgeous gray mare was soaked with sweat and heaving for air after the long run with spurs digging into her sides. Isobel was impatient to put her away and get on with her day, but she noticed strange energy in the barn. A heightened energy, palpable, and important. She threw the tack in her private tack room and went out to investigate.

Pretending to pet the horses she listened in on various conversations about Jamie’s win today and Claire, the jockey, whoever that was. So, she thought, Jamie finally has a winning horse. That should make this place even easier to sell. She should find out about his winnings because he sure won’t offer half on his own. She would keep a tally for the day he confronts her about ending their business arrangement. Isobel smiled and sauntered past her wet, exhausted horse, still breathing hard from the two-mile gallop back to the barn. Once she wasn’t with the boyfriend, Isobel had no interest in being on a horse. Porcelain Love paid the price.

Jamie was leaving in his best suit, smelling like a dream, walking toward his freshly waxed truck when Isobel pulled her Cadillac into the driveway. She got between Jamie and his truck, each time he tried going around her she blocked him again.

“What could you possibly want from me Isobel?”

“I want to tell you darling that I know about your win, your horse, and your jockey. So don’t try to hide anything from me.” She pushed her face in his and sneered at him. “And where have you been the last few weeks, you’re never home. Oh, suddenly mute. Fine, who gives a shit, just letting you know there will be no secrets from me.”

Jamie was fuming inside but forced himself to stay silent. She wasn’t worth his time anymore and he hardly cared about anything other than Claire. When Isobel finally left, he headed toward the only person who made him truly happy, the Sassenach.

Molly heard all about Claire’s win today and although she was happy for her, her concern deepened. Jamie Fraser was asking too much of Claire, it was too dangerous, and she had all but given up on her practice. She wondered what would make Claire so reckless, so focused on one project, so different. Jamie Fraser was the most handsome man Molly had ever known and she wondered from time to time if Claire was smitten with him…or he with her. She scoffed at the idea and helped Claire straighten her hair for her date tonight.

Jamie had asked her to wear the dress she had on when her picture was in the paper and Claire was more than happy to wear it, she loved the dress. Claire knew Molly would still be home when Jamie picked her up tonight, so she called to ask if he wanted to meet somewhere.

“No Sassenach, dinna hide this from Molly. She is a big girl and we’re doin nothin wrong. I am so proud to be seen with ye, for people to know I’m with ye, why hide it?”

Claire smiled at his words and agreed to let it happen organically. She had a big date tonight and the girls were here to help her get ready. This was a very good way to let Molly know.

When Lulu came in the giggling started again and Claire rolled her eyes as she pulled the dress on.

Molly looked at her and shook her head. You look even better in it this time Claire. No one would believe you’re a jockey. Who is your date tonight?

”Jamie Fraser.”

Molly was shocked and stared at Claire with big round eyes. Lulu looked from one to the other wondering who Jamie Fraser was. The knock on the door was like a rescue for Claire as she opened the door to the most handsome man who was ever born. They smiled at each other like the population of the world suddenly vanished. Jamie held out a bouquet of flowers that Claire went crazy over. Before she could turn around his hand went around her waist and he kissed her moving backward and pulling the door shut on the teenagers.

Claire giggled in his arms and kissed him again and again before breaking away to admire his suit. She smiled and asked where they were going. She opened the door and handed the flowers to Molly asking her to put them in water. Molly took the flowers and saw the door close, hearing them talk quietly as they walked down to Jamie’s truck. Molly turned to Lulu with her mouth open and started jumping up and down with excitement.

Lulu still had not composed herself after getting a good look at Jamie. “God damn he’s good looking.”

Molly was twirling around the room with happiness. He was the only man worthy of Claire in her opinion, and here he was, happening right before her eyes.

Jamie was quiet in the truck and asked Claire to slide closer to him.

“I’ve missed ye lass, come and sit close to me.”

Claire buckled into the middle of the bench seat and kissed his neck. He smelled exotic and wonderful. Jamie played with her silk-clad leg and kneecap, letting his hand drift up her inner thigh until he heard her gasp.

“Sorry love, I see the error of my ways goin out with you lookin like that, and too long since I touched ye.”

“If I remember correctly, it was four o’clock this morning when you woke me up with a delicious proposition. You turned my hips and got behind me and I felt your granite cock press into my back. Then you jammed me into your chest and held me there with a very strong spoon…”

Jamie cleared his throat loudly, “this mornin ye say? Well, I canna believe I would be so bold on a race day.”

Jamie let his hand float just above the skin of her inner thigh, touching now and then, making her want to chase his hand. He pulled the truck into a dark parking lot and pulled her to him. His kiss was a surrender to the intense attraction he felt for her and it took all his strength not to unzip her dress and expose her body that he craved. He was panting when he set her down in her own seat.

“Jesus Sassenach, I have no control when yer right beside me.” He watched his hand stroke her leg and inner thigh like he was possessed.

Claire leaned into him and put her mouth on his ear, “would you rather go back to my place?”

He shook his head hard and smiled at her.

“Yes! But I canna. I have a delicious meal planned for us, some quiet talk about the race today, thoughts about our upcoming travel and spending day and night with you.” He kissed her deeply and pressed his forehead against hers. “We have much to discuss Sassenach, just as soon as my traitorous mind comes back to me.”

They drove through the downtown area and Claire watched as the restaurants were passed and they headed to the outskirts of town. When they swung into a parking lot, Claire could see a very fine walkway with tiny lights that lit the way toward the door. A man appeared and helped Claire out of the truck, handing Jamie a valet slip.

Jamie took her hand and walked into the tunnel of tiny lights where doors were opened by restaurant staff that seemed to know his name. When Claire entered, she gasped at the sight of a huge whale shark lazily swimming four feet above her head. Wide-eyed and mouth open, everywhere she looked was a feast of marine life to watch. They were led to a table next to the glass and Claire watched octopus, grouper, sharks, and playful Beluga whales swimming all around them, close enough to reach out and touch them. She was speechless when a Beluga whale came to the glass and looked directly at her before teasing her with kisses against the glass.

Jamie watched his love, enthralled with the sea life as he hoped she would be. He could hardly tear his eyes from her as she interacted with the playful whale.

“I think I’m jealous Sassenach. He clearly has designs on my girlfriend.”

Being a patron of the aquarium, he had the privilege of their private dining room and unique culinary experience. Even at one hundred dollars per person, the reviews were the best he had seen for a high-end restaurant. Her smile was so genuine, so beautiful, he decided this was the best place to bring her.

She turned her radiant smile to the whale who would not be ignored and laughed at his antics. Small trays of food were brought to the table along with glasses of the best whisky. They tried different dishes that were both exotic and known favorites and let themselves be a part of the diverse marine life around them. Jamie pulled Claire’s chair closer to him so he could touch her while she watched the fish. His fingers swept across the bare skin on her shoulders and then the silky casing of her legs.

Claire fed him from the dishes she found particularly amazing. Giving him a bite and taking a bite while he watched her mouth. The small trays of food continued to come, the glasses of whisky were refreshed while Claire fed and teased and laughed for an hour of sexy fun. Jamie could not look away as she tasted new food, interacted with the fish and mammals and looked into the eyes of a hero. Her hero. The man who believed in her gift and cleared her path to show the world what she could do.

She felt the tears stinging her eyes when she looked at him. So composed and in charge of this wonderland he arranged just for her. She wanted to show him her love, her devotion and squirmed in her seat at the way he looked at her.

“Are ye ready love? We have one more stop tonight.”

Claire put her hands against the glass and looked in the eyes of the whale. When she smiled, the animal swam away quickly with a powerful thrust of its tail.

“She’s pregnant, Jamie! And very happy here.”

Jamie took her hand and kissed it, standing to lead her out of the restaurant. His truck was waiting at the end of the walkway and he helped her in before thanking the valet. Claire realized she had seen no exchange of money the entire night, nor had they ordered from a menu. It made the evening magical and she devoured Jamie with her kisses once they were in the truck. Jamie drove around a corner and pulled into another lot and parked. He opened her door and carried her to a door that opened when he dropped his key card into it. He kissed her and set her on her feet.

Claire looked around at the high-end hotel room, noticing the plush towels and robes that were laid out for them. Jamie led her to sit on the edge of the bed while he played with the remote, flipping through music stations until the room filled with the sexy sound of Marvin Gay, ‘Let’s get it on’. Claire was spellbound as Jamie turned his back to her and started moving his body to the beat. His hips and shoulders had the beat of the song while his hands slowly pulled his jacket off his shoulders, then stopped halfway down his arms. His hips circled and he twisted around with his head down.

Claire was caught up in his gyrations from the start and watched with wide eyes, wanting him to drop the suit coat and move on.

Jamie continued moving his body to the music, making Claire wonder where he learned to do that. She watched him release his tie and pull it off before releasing each button on his shirt. His hips circled and then tiny thrusts that took her breath away. By the time his shirt was off she was ready to rape him, and could not look away from his flat palm pushing down his chest and abdomen as his hips rocked upward. His hand continued down and cupped his balls as his hips rocked and Claire almost came.

He released his trousers and turned away from her vibrating his thighs until the pants fell to the ground in a puddle. He was naked and she was feeling her honey dripping from his erotic dance. When he turned around, he dropped to the floor and spread her legs. He kissed her core and pulled the zipper down her back and the dress seemed to fall away from her. He stared at her body, her perfect breasts, tiny waist, beaded thong and almost lost his mind. He could see she was completely seduced and ready to love him.

He hit the jackpot of love songs as the next sultry song filled the room. He pulled her to him and danced slow, whispering the things he was going to do to her, hearing her panting as she reached for his mouth. He picked her up and laid her on the bed before dropping his body over her, taking command of her one-way trip to a paradise that would never end, as long as she was with him.

Claire heard Jamie panting into her ear as his orgasm gripped him and he shook and jerked into his release, head to her shoulder, holding her pelvis up against him. She was exhausted and completely spent from his continuous attack on her arousal. She tried to remember if she came twice or three times under his sexy ministrations. He pulled her into his chest and held her close. She felt him pulse into her and had the deepest love for him.

Jamie heard her breathing, deep in sleep and dared not move too much as he pulled the blanket over them. He laid behind her, tired, happy, and wanting nothing but her body locked into his for the rest of the night.

“Good night my sweetheart.”

Claire opened her eyes to see Jamie sitting at a small table reading the newspaper. She stayed very still so she could study every inch of him. When he unleashed a whispered sentence of an unknown language, she could tell he was irritated and it made her laugh, giving away the secret she was awake.

“Sassenach, some coffee?”

“What did you just say under your breath?”

“Foul language about the game is all. I mostly swear in Gallic, so I don’t offend.”

He held out a plush robe for her to entice her from bed. They had much to discuss.

“Before I take one step toward the day, I have to know where you learned to dance like that.”

Jamie blushed and looked away, “it’s my darkest secret lass, are ye sure ye want to know it?”

“Quite sure.”

“Well, I wanted to earn enough money to get me back to Ireland my last summer of high school and dancing pays about four times the normal salary for a busboy. I wasn’t eighteen yet, but the owner of the club overlooked that fact because of these,” he flexed like a bodybuilder and she could see the bulging muscles under his shirt.

“You were a stripper then?”

“Nah, came out in a bathing suit and left the stage the same way. They taught me to dance. Completely useless skill unless there are screaming women around holding dollar bills.”

Jamie sat on the bed and grabbed Claire, twisting his body to get her under him.

“Although, it worked quite well on this beauty last night.”

Claire pulled him to her until he covered her. Jamie felt her legs lift at his sides and dropped his forehead on her chest.

“Temptress,” he sucked a breast into his mouth, “I must resist ye, we have much to do, come and I’ll show ye.”

Claire poured coffee and sat down to hear about their future races.

“I kept us in Kentucky as much as possible, but some travel will be required. Nick may alter the schedule a bit but for now, New York Champagne Stakes, then we stay in Kentucky for the Breeders Futurity, Jockey Club Stakes. Those are the prep races. If he is still in the money and yer still havin fun, we start the super-six and mostly travel. We start with the New York Gotham Stakes, then Louisiana Derby, then Florida Fountain of Youth Stakes, back to New York for the Wood Memorial which happens to pay one million to win.

Claire was exhausted just listening to all the traveling and the races. She was feeling a bit insecure and went for the answers that would show the big picture.

“I have several very important questions, Jamie. We won the Iroquois stakes yesterday, how different are these other races? Are they pretty much the same size crowd, same energy of the jockeys?”

Jamie knelt in front of her and held her hands. “Sassenach, at this level, no one wants to get disqualified for mischief on the track, the other jockeys will be perfect gentlemen. Ye have nothin to fear.”

“How far do you think he’ll go?”

“If he keeps runnin like he did yesterday, maybe all the way to the Derby.” Jamie scoffed at the impossibility, “in which case my biggest dream comes true, even if he skips around the track. The truth is, there are so many variables that could affect his speed, and willingness, I have no idea.”

Jamie grabbed Claire and laid on the bed with her. “Suppose ye tell me how far ye will go lass.”

“I have a better idea.” Claire pushed out of her robe and laid naked in front of him. “Do you want to hear it?”

The next race was in New York, the Champagne Stakes at Belmont, in two weeks. She tried not to think about the race because it just made her shake. Runner had three days of rest before his training started again, that was tomorrow. It was time to get back in the saddle.

She puttered around the house midweek and thought about Dustin. She had tried to friend him on Facebook, but he had not accepted or replied. Whenever he got stuck in her mind, she missed him terribly and remembered their easy life working together with great fondness. She didn’t risk her neck on a crazy horse then, nor did she drive, she didn’t fight her own battles most of the time, and every time she turned around he was there. Life wasn’t exciting then, but it was good. She hoped he was well, and happy, and getting a 4.0.

Claire sat on her porch with her iPad and settled in to watch race videos. Nick sent her dozens of races to watch each week and she loved seeing the different techniques the jockeys used to win. What she loved, even more, was watching them with Nick as he pointed out the moves she missed and the mistakes that cost the jockey the race. He was warming up to the idea that Claire could ride Runner and help him make split-second decisions that would change the race. For now, he insisted she stay on him and just let him win. It was time to go see Runner and start telling him about his big adventure in the airplane.

As soon as she closed the door someone was knocking. Claire accepted a package from FedEx and raced to the kitchen for a sharp knife. There was a note on the top that said; So I always know where you are. Love Jamie. She reached into the box and pulled out new silks. White pants and a bright fuchsia jacket and helmet. She smiled at the memory of asking Jamie for this color. It wasn’t hard to convince her a conservative hue would be best.

She felt something under the paper and fished around under it pulling out a regulation crop but with a braid of fuchsia leather sewn down one side. Claire laughed and pulled out goggles with fuchsia trim. She reached for her phone and ran to get dressed.

Claire came around the corner and Runner’s head snapped up like he was startled. Claire saw flashing pictures of him standing in his stall and they didn’t stop. She talked softly and touched his face, but the pictures kept coming and the flashing images made her afraid. She had different ways of listening to animals, some were much nicer for her than others. Runner had become so good at showing her pictures that she could usually piece them together but today it wasn’t working. He was desperate to tell her something.

Claire leaned up against the wall of the stall and prepared herself to see what he saw. Most of the time it made her feel ill when she did this, but most of the time she was dealing with a very sick animal. She was ready. She laid her hands on Runner’s face, on both sides of his eyes and then closed her eyes. Her heart pounded in her chest and she was confused and then afraid. Very afraid. She looked around for the sound of feet when there should be no feet. When she turned her head, there she was, a woman, watching her, staring at her and the evil was radiating from her. She wants to hurt me, and I can’t get away, she is going to hurt me!

“Claire!”

Jamie pulled her away from Runner and held onto her. He found her with hands on the horse looking wildly from every direction, breathing hard and whimpering. She would not respond to him, so he pulled her away.

Claire gripped him and cried, looking up at Jamie with a white face and shaking hands.

“Runner is afraid of someone that watches him. A woman who wants to hurt him. Jamie, please get a picture of Isobel. I know you think it’s crazy but do it, please.”

Jamie ran out of the barn and she heard his truck barrel down the back road. Claire hugged Runner and told him she saw it too and she would protect him. She could feel him relax into her as she stroked his neck. The colt perked up a bit when he heard Jamie’s footfall and rumbled a whinny when he finally came around the corner.

“Here Sassenach.” Jamie passed her the picture, but Runner saw it first and screamed a whinny as he paced from one side of his stall to the other. Claire turned the picture toward her.

“Oh dear God.” She dropped the picture on the ground and moved away from it shaking her head no. “She will come and I will be no more.”

Jamie watched Claire cower in fear. Her eyes were unfocused and she was scared shitless. He needed to get her away from Runner, that he knew. He picked her up and carried her to his office, laying her down on the couch and running for a washcloth for her forehead. After five minutes or so Claire seemed to come around and look more stable, more like herself.

“What just happened lass?”

Claire explained the pictures of Runner that were flashing in her head, nonstop. She believed them to be what the woman was looking at when she stood at his stall and stared at him. Claire got quiet and seemed to shrink into herself wrapping her arms around her waist.

“What is it, Claire?”

She means to hurt him, to hurt you. Runner believes she will make him disappear, a horse’s interpretation of death. He feels fight or flight. He will try to jump the walls or bust right through them if she comes back. He will kill himself trying to get away from her! Claire was choking with sobs and ran out of Jamie’s office and straight to Runner. She was clawing at the gate to get to him and put her hands on his face to sending pictures of Jamie standing guard and him asleep in his hay. She flipped the pictures to him rapidly with different people standing guard while he slept.

Jamie came in and wrapped his arms around the colt’s neck like he used to do when he was young. He pressed his ear to his neck so he could hear him breathe. He spoke softly, the soothing language Claire had heard before, and the colt was under his spell. Eyelids drooping, he rested his head on Jamie's back and listened to the lullabies of his youth, Jamie’s sweat Gallic lullabies.

Claire could see Runner was sound asleep against Jamie’s back and she slipped out because he was pulling her under with him. The method she used to see what the colt had seen was very effective, but she needed distance and time to completely break away from him. She walked briskly to Jamie’s office and sat in his large leather chair, breathing in the scent of her lover was calming and she focused on the tenderness they shared.

Warm fingers moved the hair out of her face and looked into the sea before a storm. His eyes were the windows to his emotion and right now there was a hurricane brewing. Claire grabbed his hand and kissed his palm and then walked to the couch and prepared herself for the only thing to happen next, save Runner.

Rupert and Angus were heading out for the day when Jamie’s whistle pulled them back. When they walked into the office, Nick, Claire, and Jamie were seated with two empty chairs left. Both men could feel the steel grip of fear when they took a seat and looked to their best friend to explain.

The meeting went well into the night. Runner snored into his wood chips and dreamed of beating every horse he raced while Claire laughed on his back. He felt safe finally and the eyes that watched him were Jamie’s.

Claire needed to stretch her legs and grabbed the crumpled picture of Isobel off the desk. She left to walk the aisle a bit. When she smiled at Porcelain Love she felt her fear again and her unwillingness to approach. Claire entered the stall and felt a confused and beaten soul try to press herself into the corner and not interact, not be noticed. The filly had locked her traumatized mind away and Claire could not reach her. Claire saw the holes in the mare’s sides from being viciously kicked with punishing spurs. Her hand touched her lightly and the horse shook with fear.

Claire’s teeth were clenched as she struggled to overpower her rage over someone hurting this horse. She bent forward, hands on knees, and took deep breaths until she felt calm enough to take her to safety. She carefully lifted the halter and noticed the mare jerk her head away, a symptom of head trauma. Being beaten around her head. Claire felt a tear roll out of her eye and pushed back on the sobs that tried to break out.

“Hero’s don’t fucking cry. And I am your hero tonight Porcelain. I know a super handsome stud that will make you forget your own name. Care to meet him?”

Claire snapped a lead on the mare and boldly walked her to a side aisle where her prince lay snoring. Porcelain was led into the stall beside Runner and she moved around investigating. Runner whinnied deep in his throat and lifted his head. Porcelain moved quickly to the wall and stuck her head over, looking at Runner. He was on his feet in record time and pressed his muzzle against hers as she jerked her head up and whinnied.

“You want to play keep-away with him? Good luck with that. You guys get some sleep.”

Claire grabbed two flakes of hay for each of them and spun her body to launch the first flake into Porcelain’s stall suddenly gripping the hay and throwing it to the floor. Her eyes were wide, feeling a new, or revisited horror creep up her back. Looking at the hay she saw no signs of tampering, but she trusted nothing anymore. She knew a feed store that was open until eight o’clock and ran for her truck.

The men had formulated a plan to secure Runner and the meeting broke up. Nick ran home to get supplies to bachelor-bunk with the colt, Rupert and Angus went home, and Jamie went to find Claire. He had watched from the monitor in his office and could not imagine why Claire would move Isobel’s horse right next to Runner, but he was sure she had a good reason. He could hear her dually outside and went to find her.

Claire was pulling large feed bags out of the back of her truck and with a mighty grunt they hit the ground. She took a deep breath when Jamie came to help her. Thirty minutes later they had stacked two bales of hay and six feed bags against the wall in clear view of the camera. Flakes of hay and some sweet feed were left for the love birds. Jamie pressed into Claire’s hips with his shoulder and threw her over before walking to his office. He passed Nick on the way and said goodnight as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening on his shoulder.

He bent over to deposit her on the couch in his office and quickly sat down so he could hold onto her if she decided to bolt.

“Permission to speak freely please, and be forgiven.”

Jamie chuckled and told her to speak her mind.

“Did you guys make a plan to catch this cunt?”

Jamie struggled not to laugh, this was not a laughing matter. Claire calling Isobel a cunt, however, was hilarious.

“We did at that Sassenach. I will tell ye all about it in a bit… in yer bed… when you’re naked.”

Claire looked at him and smiled just before Jamie hung his head and raked a hand through his hair.

“Jesus Sassenach, who am I kiddin. It will take more luck than I have.”

“Well, I remember running into the breeding wing as your dam went down, poor thing. The baby was moving and I had no choice but to save it. I took an oath. I ripped through her body to get to the colt. If not for Dustin’s strength and skill I couldn’t have pulled it out in time. The odds were so heavily stacked against him surviving I had little hope. I remember looking up at the white face of another vet who watched me. Dustin doesn’t have the strength to lift a foal out of its mother, but somehow he did it and the other vet broke the bag away and cleared the airways. That poor little thing was on his feet in fifteen minutes, looking for the comfort of his mother. You came in and agreed to feed him and I ran to the next crisis, leaving you to tend to this newborn. A day later we left, for two years, and you were alone to do the impossible. Keep him alive. Look at him now, seventeen hands of pure muscle, sound feet, vibrant health, and he won a stakes race last week. She pulled his arms around her and tucked herself into his body. She looked up at him knowing he was listening.

“That is the very definition of luck Jamie. I’ve watched you bet on Nick, you bet on Runner and you bet on me. It’s time you bet on yourself love. What drove you back to Ireland Jamie? You were drop-dead gorgeous, your last summer of high school and you were the king of boys, a position mortal boys only dream of.” Her voice was suddenly soft and quiet. “And you left for Ireland. Why?”

Jamie looked into her eyes and nodded slightly at the point she was making.

Claire put her hands on his cheeks, “you were chasing your dream and all the cunt did is provide the oars to get you here.”

Jamie’s body suddenly went rigid, his eyes slammed open and unfocused for a minute before he looked down at her and smiled.

“Yer a genius Sassenach,” he chuckled out and then kissed her face a dozen times. “I have to call Ned Gowen tomorrow. He was my lawyer with Dunsany, and I remember he made changes to the agreement regarding dissolution of marriage and what Isobel was entitled to if we divorced. Sassenach, I can stop her from grabbin all that I have. I think.”

“Thank ye love.”

Later, Jamie explained the plan to protect Runner from Isobel. He decided to include Molly because he knew of her close bond with Claire and wanted all allies to know the plan.

Molly stared at the two of them shaking her head. “Why all this effort over a horse that could trip and kill my friend?”

Halfway through, her question became angry. She stood up and looked at Claire like she had become an alien, someone she hardly knew anymore. She owed everything to this woman, but she just didn’t understand what happened to her.

Claire tried to calm her down and decided Molly needed to hear everything about Runner. There was love between them and Molly was reacting out of fear for her. She dove into the issue and hoped.

“Molly, if you sit down and open your heart to the truth, I will tell you something extraordinary. Please hear me out.”

Molly’s face softened and she sat down looking at the hands in her lap.

“You have asked me about hearing animals and I have answered you truthfully, but I don’t think you ever believed me, did you?”

Molly morosely shook her head no.

“Well, it’s true, I do hear them, talk back to them too, and Runner is the best communicator of all. You were there in those first days when I taught him to race me. What horse do you know of, would stand on a line in the dirt and wait for you to say bang?”

He didn’t run until you were up the track. He just stood there.”

“Well, he still does that. What about the cat we drove home? How in the world could I know where to take him? Molly, I never aspired to be a jockey, I didn’t spend years in school to race horses, it just happened. I am completely confident that he will always be safe when I’m riding. It’s why he hangs back at the start of the race and why he runs up on the outside, always. The extra effort he needs to win is extraordinary so it’s his sacrifice, for me. I didn’t want to race him, it terrified me. But he picked me, and I am the one who dragged him into this world. He will keep winning because it’s his destiny and I am not afraid anymore, in fact, I am so ready to face the other horses in the next three months and God willing, again in the spring. If I have anything to say about it, he will run for the roses, and win.”

Claire took a breath, startled at her own words, believing she had just spoken her truth. Jamie was speechless, looking at her like she just declared Runner the next Kentucky Derby winner. Because she did.

“Molly, this all started just for him, but now it’s for me too. I want to win, I want to win it all. We are on what’s called the road to the Kentucky Derby. A group of races, called stakes races, that award points to the top four finishers. The horses with the most points get a shot at the Derby. If we pull out of future races because he no longer wins or gets injured, I plan to donate my silks and never race again. I will go back to being a vet, get married someday, and have a houseful of kids. My vision of the future has never changed, this is just one year off to participate in a chance of a lifetime. Please get behind me on this so I don’t worry about you and for God’s sake, don’t tell Dustin about it, either of you.”

Jamie handed Claire a whisky and touched her cheek with the most amazing expression. He was impressed with Claire’s inner strength before this, now he was bowled over.

“I won’t fight you anymore. Thank you for telling me all that, I understand now why you race, what it means to you. If it were me, I would do it just like you have. I’ll cheer louder than anyone. But I’m late to meet Lulu so I have to go.”

When the door closed behind Molly, Jamie pulled Claire into his arms and leaned back on the couch. He didn’t know where to start with all she had just revealed. He had carried guilt over her racing since the beginning. It is a costly emotion to carry and it casts a shadow on the good feelings like love, commitment, encouragement, and hope.

“Ye just blew me away lass. I hardly know where to start.” Claire was dead weight on his chest and he heard the rhythmic breathing of sleep. It was a hard day for the Sassenach and her exhaustion was understandable. Jamie slipped out from under her and went to find something he could cook for dinner.

Claire felt Jamie’s hands in her hair and opened her eyes. Realizing she fell asleep she sat up quickly and looked at the tray of food on her coffee table.

“Ye’ll be havin dinner in the living room tonight, I insist. There is hot tomato soup and melted cheese sandwiches for dunkin.”

Claire was groggy and watched Jamie take a bite of his sandwich after he dunked it in the soup. He handed her a plate with the grilled cheese and soup, then kept eating. Claire dunked her sandwich and bit into melted cheese heaven. She moaned and closed her eyes as she chewed. Not another sound was made until every crumb was eaten. She smiled at him and her lids started to close.

Jamie picked her up, and pulled her clothes off before covering her with the quilt. He logged into the compound cameras and pulled up Runners area seeing both horses asleep and Nick sitting up on his cot working on something. He felt confident Runner was well looked after and ran water to clean up his mess in the kitchen.

Claire handed him a mug of hot coffee while he waited for her on the porch. She was eager to hear the plan for Runner’s safety and leaving for New York.

“It was always in the plan to convert one wing of the compound into a quarantine area where the air is filtered, the walls reinforced with concrete, a separate food supply. I just moved the timing up a bit and it will provide security from outside forces. The problem is protecting him while we do the construction. I propose we stay in New York and switch from Breeder’s Futurity to the Hopeful Stakes at Saratoga. By the time we get back, the construction will be done, and the next two races are in Kentucky. Can ye do it Sassenach? Spend three weeks in New York with me?

Claire smiled and nodded her head yes, thinking how glorious it will be to live without fear and just enjoy each other.

“Where is all this money coming from?”

“I do very well selling foals each year. I’ve been foolishly sending the lions-share to Dunsany to pay off my loan quicker. No more. I have a yearling that goes to the auction soon. The dam has two previous colts that won two-turn races this past year. I expect the yearling will sell close to a million at Keeneland when we get back.”

“Wow, that is a lot of money for a horse that’s never had a bit in his mouth.”

“That’s why they call it the Sport of Kings.” Jamie smiled down at her. “It’s my turn to sleep with yer partner tonight. I’ll miss ye lass.”

Claire stood up and gave him a kiss that would last for two days and then he was gone.

Jamie was deep in thought driving to the compound. He couldn’t connect the dots with Isobel and it was making him crazy trying to figure it out. Why would she want to hurt Runner especially since she wanted to pull every dollar out of the business she could. It didn’t make sense. He wondered if Claire had gotten Runner’s thoughts wrong and quickly dropped that possibility. He trusted her, he had to trust her gift because he had bet everything on it.

So what was Isobel up to?

[junker-town]

Here are 9 of the most badass animals ever to swim

Art by Tyson Whiting

Say hello to some horrifying sea monsters

This article was originally published on SB Nation a while ago, but was always intended for a Secret Base-y audience. So if you haven’t seen it yet, here you go!

The Earth has some very cool aquatic predators swimming about. Thanks to their intelligence and pack-hunting techniques, orcas are, perhaps, the most dangerous hunters ever to swim the ocean. Saltwater crocodiles are bulletproof murder tanks. And the great white shark, of course, needs no introduction. But now that we’re talking about terrifying underwater murder-beasts, why just settle for just the ones we have around now?

Underwater murder-beasts have a long and distinguished (pre-)history, and I thought it would be fun to introduce y’all to some new pals. TO THE IMAGINARY TIME MACHINE!

Temnodontosaurus eurycephalus

Grumpy croco-dolphin

Ichthyosaurs evolved 250 million years ago. In the aftermath of the Permian extinction, which killed off a frankly horrifying number of creatures, a group of terrestrial reptiles took to the depleted seas. Fast-forward a little bit and you have primitive ichthyosaurs, creatures so well adapted to oceanic life that they ended up looking like a cross between a crocodile and an extremely ill-tempered, extremely large dolphin.

Fast-forward even further, to the early Jurassic (175 million years ago), and you have Temnodontosaurus eurycephalus. It’s not the largest ichthyosaur ever to grace the seas, but it’s up there, and it’s a far more developed predator than its giant forebears. Somewhere around 30 feet long, T. emnodontosaurus was a powerful swimmer with strong jaws, well-equipped to chow down on other Jurassic swimmers. One closely-related species possessed the largest eyes of any known animal, perfect for hunting in deeper oceanic waters; another has been found with the remains of a different ichthyosaur in is stomach.

This monster considered 13-foot oceanic reptiles a delicious snack. It was also fast. Spare a thought for the poor ocean-going creatures minding their own business before one of these huge assholes rams into them from below at speed, opens those long, toothy jaws and turns them into lunch.

Deinosuchus hatcheri

Dinosaur hunter

Take a saltwater crocodile. Actually, it’s probably best not to. They are, after all, 20-foot, 2,000-pound apex predators more than happy to eat anything they come across, including you. Salties are strong, fast and surprisingly smart. They are at home in the open ocean as well as along the coast. Like all crocodiles, they’re ambush predators who use water as cover to attack their prey. Unlike most crocodiles they’re capable of jumping clear out of the water to get to it. They have the strongest bite of any living animal.

Right. Now that you have a saltwater crocodile in your head, make one, oh, twice as big. Yeah, like that. Decently boat-sized. Terrifying teeth in terrifying, dino-crushing jaws. Armored skin thick enough to turn aside more or less anything.

Your terrifying vision is Deinosuchus hatcheri, a crocodile adapted to more or less the exact same situation as a modern saltwater but in a world inhabited by giant dinosaurs. During the late Cretaceous (80 million years ago), North America was split by a shallow sea, the Western Interior Seaway. D. hatcheri was present on both the western side of the seaway (a slightly smaller species dominated the east), happily chowing through dinosaurs who were foolish enough to get too close.

Anomalocaris canadensis

Nightmare Shrimp

So far we’ve had a dolphin analogue in Temnodontosaurus and an actual crocodile. Cool, but nowhere near the sort of weirdness the past can provide. So let’s go to the deep, deep past, revealed wonderfully by the Burgess Shale. Here we shall find the NIGHTMARE SHRIMP.

One of the problems with studying the very earliest phase of animal life — we’re talking half a billion years at this point — is that it’s squishy, and squishy is not of much benefit when it comes to preserving fossils. Thanks to a fluke of geology, the conditions that produced the Burgess Shale were also capable of preserving soft tissue, giving palaeontologists a rare chance to look into what the seas looked like during the first days of the animal kingdom.

They looked extremely weird. The fauna found in the Burgess Shale was almost obnoxiously uncategorisable. One famous example is the worm Hallucigenia, which so confused everyone involved that it was reconstructed upside-down for the better part of a decade. Another is Opabinia, which looks sort of like a five-eyed miniature vacuum cleaner. I promise I am not making this up.

Anyway, all these critters were apparently food for the ocean’s first proper predator.

With good eyes set on flexible stalks and a surprising turn of speed, Anomalocaris canadensis cruised the Pre-Cambrian seas in death-shrimp mode. It was a full meter long, dwarfing most of its companions in the Burgess Shale. It was also delightfully strange-looking. It is so odd, in fact, that when it was discovered its various body parts were assigned to several different animals.

A. canadensis would be higher on this list if we could be sure of what it actually ate. Long-held to be a trilobite-hunter, recent studies have shown it would probably have had to restrict itself to soft-bodied prey due to relatively flimsy mouthparts, and therefore could only have actually eaten a trilobite just after a moult. But it’s much more fun to imagine this guy roaming the seafloor chomping down on everything, so that’s what we’ll do.

Disclaimer: an old friend of mine is a paleontologist who specializes in the Burgess Shale fossils. I did not contact him for this story, because I am consumed by envy whenever I so much as think about him.

Cameroceras

Spiky death-squid

Back in the Palaeozoic and Mesozoic, cephalopods were armored critters, much like our modern nautilus. The most famous of them, and one of the most widely known extinct animals ever, is the spiral-shelled ammonite. Since they had hard shells, they’re extremely common in marine strata. They also got surprisingly large. The biggest-known ammonite was two meters across. Imagine that thing trying to swim.

Ammonites weren’t the only armored cephalopod prowling the ancient seas, however. The orthocones were straight-shelled versions, and some of those got really, really big. Like Cameroceras. Current estimates put Cameroceras’s shell at upwards of six meters long. That’s three average-sized men stacked on each others’ shoulders.

Somehow this monster was still able to get about in the Ordovician seas. It’s quite hard to imagine it chasing anything around, so it presumably surprised trilobites etc. at nighttime or dug it out of the mud, but since paleoecology is at least in part about imagination, right now I’m enjoying Cameroceras retracting its head deep into its shell and pretending to be a cave before trying to eat whatever entered. It wouldn’t be quite big enough to swallow the Millennium Falcon, buuuuuuuuut ...

Carcharocles megalodon

The shark that eats planets

Megalodon needs no introduction. The great white shark has a profound hold on popular culture, but its long-gone big sister isn’t far behind. Megalodon made even the most vicious shark in today’s seas look like a toy. Since sharks are mostly soft tissue, they don’t fossilize as well as we’d like, but their teeth do, and Megalodon’s tell a terrifying story.

Megalodon died out only relatively recently. It wasn’t quite contemporaneous with human beings, but its extinction was recent enough that there are plenty of folks willing to tell tall tales of how it might still be swimming somewhere in the depths of the ocean. If it was, probably best not to get anywhere near it — a Megalodon may have had a bite force of up to 10 times the strength of a great white. That’d be a bad day.

What were those huge jaws for? Whales. Apparently, these things liked to swim up from underneath its prey and bite through their chest to reach their internal organs. The ability to kill a whole-ass whale with one bite is honestly horrifying, even if whales in Megalodon’s day were a little smaller than the current batch of great rorquals.

Jaekelopterus rhenaniae

Sea Scorpion

Did you know ‘sea scorpions’ were a thing? Sea scorpions were a thing. Since eurypterids (to give them their proper name) went extinct hundreds of millions of years ago, we don’t have very good comparisons for what these things were like. So let’s get creative. Let’s take a lobster. Despite their ferocious armament, lobsters are relatively placid creatures. They’re not averse to grabbing a fish here or a mollusk there, but they’re not built for hunting. Let’s make the required tweaks.

We need to add eyes. Let’s make them big and sensitive and set for stereoscopic vision, which allows those pincers to be used more effectively to grab prey. Let’s make them better swimmers, too — we’ll add some paddles for agility and short bursts of speed. Let’s make their claws spikier, just for sheer scare value.

Oh and let’s make them 10 feet long and perfectly happy to eat you alive. Now you have a Jaekelopterus. Aren’t you glad they’re dead?

Dunkleosteus terrelli

A, uh, fish-tank

When evolution first came up with bone, it got a little bit carried away. Well, a lot carried away. The era of armored fishes is one of the most fabulously strange in the entire history of the planet. (A personal favorite of mine is Lunapsis, which looks like a fish had a baby with Batman’s utility belt.) With bone-plated heads and upper bodies, these fish probably didn’t swim very well, but who cares? They looked cool as hell, and with that body armor they were well protected against predators.

Which, as it turns out, is the sort of inspiration nature needs to come up with some better predators*. Enter Dunkleosteus, a monster armored fish with a set of jaws which could rip straight through the armor of any other fish slowly swimming through the Devonian ocean. Known to be 20 feet long, it didn’t really have teeth so much as a huge bony beak, which honestly makes the whole contraption even more frightening, like some sort of mobile oceanic guillotine.

*I’m being overly teleological here. Forgive me. Nature, of course, does not ‘come up with’ anything.

Mosasaurus hoffmanni

For whatever reason, the fauna of Cretaceous period got big. Really, really big. On land, we had Tyrannosaurus Rex. In the skies, azhdarchids the size of small aircraft coasted from thermal to thermal. And in the shallow seas, we had another monster: Mosasaurus.

Mosasaurus was essentially an enormous — estimates have it as almost 60 feet long — ocean-going lizard. Its legs were replaced with bladed paddles for maneuverability and it had a powerful tail for direct propulsion. Mosasaurus ate everything it could get in its mouth, which was a) double-hinged for extra capacity and b) already pretty capacious to begin with.

It would have hung around near the surface of the ocean, where there was an abundance of prey. Mosasaurus could have waited for other marine reptiles (such as Archelon, the largest turtle known) to come up to breathe, grab low-flying pterosaurs on fishing expeditions, or simply have picked off the many large fish that swam the Cretaceous seas.

Livyatan Melvilli

Moby-Dick’s even-scarier dad

In 1820, the Essex was lost in the southern Pacific Ocean. The ship had been sent out to hunt for sperm whales (Physeter macrocephalus, since you asked), but soon had the tables turned when it was attacked and sunk by a ferocious bull. Of the 20 crew, only eight survived, and the incident went on to inspire a famous book about whales which you may have heard of.

What you probably haven’t heard of is Livyatan. Modern sperm whales are enormous creatures, but very rare boat attacks aside, they’re only really dangerous to their favorite prey, deep-swimming squid. But not so long ago, geographically speaking, there were also a group of ‘macroraptorial’ sperm whales. These didn’t eat squid. Instead, they competed with Megalodon to hunt other great whales.

Livyatan’s teeth are some of the most awe-inspiring fossils in the world. The biggest ones are 12 inches long and look like artillery shells. Estimates have Livyatan as sitting a touch smaller than its modern friends, but those teeth indicate that it would have been significantly more vicious, fully capable of cutting a sperm whale into very bloody chunks.

It’s not clear whether or not Livyatan hunted alone or in packs, like a modern killer whale, but it had the power and size to be able to plausibly compete with Megalodon even solo. The crew of the Essex found out that a bull sperm whale could be a formidable opponent; one suspects Livyatan would have left even fewer survivors.

[jjkfire]

Sweet Saccharine; pt.4

Reader x Jungkook // sugardaddy!AU // 14.5k words

Summary: Trying your best to stay afloat in a ruthless city, you decide to join the sugar bowl. Who knew the sugar baby business would be this exciting?

Genre: Fluff?

A/N: here we are! a year later lmaooo but !!! better late than never amirite? sigh sorry for the wait ): i should really get into the habit of pre-writing my fics. anyway, i hope you guys like it! tis the reveal of the hooded man hehe. also never drink and drive pleaseee.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 *tumblr still hasn’t fixed the link thing, sorry!*

Previously...

His plan was really beginning to fall into place and it was all because of… you. Oh little Y/N has come so so far, he smiles but you still had a long way to go, still so much to do but it was only a matter of time before he would stand from afar and watch everything crumble around the Jeons, your very existence the sole thing he needed to kick-start complete chaos.

“Why?” You groan. “Why would you let me do something as stupid as that?”

“Listen, I tried to stop you but—”

“You didn’t try hard enough,” You grumble, head in your hands.

“If it’s any consolation, he didn’t seem too bothered by it.”

“This is your fault,” You huff. “I told you I didn’t want to go drinking but you insisted that I—”

“Oh, don’t you dare blame this on me.” Wendy wags her finger at you. “I said we should go drinking, yes, but it’s not my fault you decided to drink up half the bar.”

You let out a whine, letting your head thud against the table as you grumble to yourself.

“Anyway so, for your sake I pretended like the logistics conference bullshit story the two of you fed me last night was the truth, but come on, tell me… how’d you meet him?” She questions, prodding at your cheek.

“Well, a uhh, a c-conference.”

“Honestly Y/N, you expect me to believe that?”

“Okay, fine,” You sigh, shrinking away as she gives you a pointed look. “It wasn’t a logistics conference, but it was a conference…”

“Oh, don’t tell me it was comic-con or someth—”

“Hey, comic-con is cool,” You frown. “And so what if that’s where we met?”

She simply rolls her eyes at that before she squints at you, the gears turning in her head, a moment of realization dawning on her.

“No, no that’s not where you met him,” She murmurs. “You were busy during comic-con… you wouldn’t stop bitching about how you were going to miss it.”

“N-no, I went! I uhh took a day off and I—”

“Don’t lie to me. You’d be the last person to get a day off work,” She snips, eyebrows furrowed. “When did you meet him? Why wouldn’t you tell me you know him? Did our days of dreaming of running into him on the street mean nothing to you?”

You laugh at that, shaking your head at her.

“It’s complicated… he’s a secretive person,” You mumble. “Anyway, it hasn’t been too long okay... Maybe 2 or 3 months max. You know I can never hide anything from you for too long anyway.”

Wendy taps her fingers on the table, doing the math in her head. 2 or 3 months meant that it was right in the timeframe of— no way.

“No,” She gasps. “No… don’t tell me you met him at my conference!” She practically screams out the sentence, causing everyone to look at your table.

“N-no, no that’s not where we met!” You lie before you put your index finger to your lips, trying to get Wendy to calm down.

“My god, that’s why you’ve been avoiding all the texts where I try to set you up with potential sugar daddies! You—”

“Not so loud!” You scold before you look around, hoping no one in the café had caught that.

“Okay, so he’s your sugar— fructose father,” She corrects when you smack her hand. “And you didn’t think to tell—”

“Fructose father… honestly Wendy?”

“What? Okay, glucose guardian… or carbohydrate caretaker! Take your pick,” She smiles.

“The term isn’t the problem!” You grumble, burying your head in your hands. “Look can we just drop this?”

“Absolutely not,” She replies. “You bagged the literal whale shark of the industry… y-you’re set for life!”

“Whale sha—?” You shake your head at your friend before you clear your throat. “Listen, you can’t tell anyone… and I mean it okay? I don’t want you to say yes to me and then text your whole friend list seconds after I leave.”

“You have such little faith in me,” She fake sobs, sniffling as she wipes away imaginary tears. “You know anyway, no one would even believe me if I told them. He doesn’t seem like the type of person who would need a sugar baby.”

You nod at that, sipping at your drink, hoping that she would move on to another topic, but you know Wendy and she would milk you off every single drop of information before she leaves you be.

“So, you’re really not going to let me have any details?” She questions as you busy yourself with stirring your drink. “Oh come on! Tell me one thing. At least tell me he’s bad in bed. He can’t have good looks, money and be good in bed. That would be unfair.”

“Seriously? That’s what you want to know?” You snort, shaking your head. “Anyway, I can’t say because we haven’t really… done t-that,” You stammer. “We’re just in a uhh platonic… thing.”

“Please,” She snorts. “I saw you and him getting all handsy last night. Don’t lie.”

“We… we were? Oh my god. How handsy?” You query, worried. “H-he won’t fire me… will he?”

“Not with the way he was looking at you he won’t.”

“Wendy, I’m serious,” You wail, groaning inwardly. “We’re supposed to be just friends, okay?”

“And how are you doing with that? You’ve loved him ever since I’ve known you.”

“That’s not true,” You mumble, looking away. “I was uhh, enamoured by him, yes, but… that’s like you know, my daydream version of him. That’s not him, him. I can separate fact from fiction, okay?”

“Okay, sure,” She smirks. “Just saying, he looks better in person.”

“I know,” You hum, smiling.

Perhaps you like the fact that you can finally tell someone about your whole Jungkook situation… even if technically you’re not supposed to. The whole thing just seemed so crazy to you and being able to tell Wendy about the whirlwind of events that had taken place, feels… nice. The girl could coax anything out of you and as much as you hated to admit it, you loved talking to her about anything and everything. You trusted her with your whole heart and she just always understood you, always laughed at your jokes, no matter how bad they were which you thoroughly appreciated.

You tell her about him from start to end. You tell her about all the places you’ve brought him to, all the trouble you’ve almost gotten him in to and she laughs because whatever friendship or relationship you had with him, it sounded so entirely you. You have a penchant for danger, that Wendy is well aware of considering that she had been subjected to the many adventures you’d taken her on during college.

As you tell story after story, Wendy only grows more worried because you had that look, that smile and it’s one she rarely sees. She’s glad you’re happy, in fact she’d wish for nothing more, but the sugar business has always been misleading like that. One day you think the man you’re with has genuine feelings for you and the next, they drop a big fat cheque in your mailbox with a short letter saying this was fun, but we’re done. Sugar babies like you and her are in abundance thus, essentially, replaceable, expendable. It hurts, having to burst your bubble but if not her then who?

“He’s Jeon Jungkook,” Wendy says as a response to your story, her voice stern and you know what that means but… you wanted her to know that he was more than just his name.

“I know he’s Jeon Jungkook and all of that but, he’s really sweet too… nothing like how they paint him in the media.”

“Careful,” Wendy hums. “You have to remember your place.”

“I know my place,” You snap, before you let out a sigh.

“You know I’m not trying to be mean, right?” Wendy pouts. “It just looks like you sort of… actually like like him even if you’ve been trying to convince me otherwise.”

“Okay, maybe I do… a little… but it’s under control,” You frown, letting your finger idly draw patterns on the table.

“I trust you,” She smiles. “I just thought a reminder wouldn’t hurt. I know I’ve appreciated it every time you gave me one.”

You simply smile at her and nod, a soft thanks leaving your lips to which she crunches her nose at. Wendy always means well, has always been there to look out for you. She protects you with the ferocity of a mother and you’ve never been anything short of grateful for her. Well, except for when she convinces you that a night at the bar is a good idea… you’re not so grateful for her then but otherwise, you are. You know what she means about remembering your place and as much as you hate to admit it, you needed the reminder. Though Jungkook has been nothing but kind and sweet to you, you know that all of this is merely a contractual agreement. Sure, you let yourself get carried away once in a while but you guess you’re allowed to have some fun too. At the end of the day though, you must remember that you and him come from essentially separate worlds and no matter how enticing the idea of you and him being anything more than friends seems, it’s something that can never be.

As you stand outside the café, giving Wendy one last hug before the two of you part ways, you sigh when she reminds you that you should probably call Jungkook soon.

“You better thank him for carrying you up to your apartment too,” She laughs, remembering how mortified you looked when she had told you that it couldn’t possibly be her that got you up to your apartment last night considering that she wasn’t in the car.

“I’m a mess,” You sigh as you rest your forehead on her shoulder.

“It’s going to be fine,” She smiles. “He isn’t going to fire you.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do,” She winks before she pulls away, waving to you as she walks down the pavement.

You’re not sure what she means by that and although you think the statement had meant to comfort you, ease the nervousness that you feel, it doesn’t. You grumble to yourself as you walk towards your apartment, the sun already beginning to set in the horizon. It’s no surprise to you. Put you and Wendy in the same place and the two of you could talk for hours on end. It’s a wonder how you got any work done in college when the both of you had shared an apartment.

It’s a long walk home and all you do is think of what you’re meant to say. You’re not sure how to start. You had a host of things to apologize for. First, you had to apologize for even calling him down to the bar, then apologize for the fact that he had to drop both you and Wendy home. Oh, and you had to apologize for being handsy too. God, you can’t believe you did that. Wendy said you did it all. That you had slapped his chest teasingly when you were trying to get him to buy shots, that you had cupped his face in your hands when he said no. She said you even placed your hands on his waist… ugh, why did you do that? You’re never touching alcohol again, is what you mumble to yourself over and over again. You can’t believe he even had to carry you up to your apartment. A fool, that’s what you are. You grumble continuously to yourself, garnering weird looks from passing strangers, but you’re too deep in thought to notice any of that. Mortified. You’re mortified at how drunk you has managed to destroy the one good thing you had going for you.

The same thoughts replay over and over again in your head, even after you’ve slipped into the tiny restaurant by the street to grab a hot bowl of noodles. You would think that the food would at least distract you but oh no, not even food can fix this one.

You’re sat in your apartment, phone in your hand, stomach queasy and as much as you would like to blame it on the dinner you just had, you know it has nothing to do with it. You’ve called Jungkook and hung up before the dial tone starts at least 5 times now. You know you have to do it, that there is no avoiding it, but you’re just so nervous. You’re rambling to yourself, playing out the planned conversation in detail when you hear muffled sounds coming from your phone. You look down at your screen, eyes widening before you curse when you realize that you had accidentally called him. Begrudgingly, you press your phone to your ear, groaning inwardly when you hear his voice.

“Hello? Y/N? Say someth—”

“Hi.”

“Hey,” He answers, voice sounding smooth, happy… not mad or uncomfortable. Odd. “Thought you butt dialed me or something,” He laughs.

“Well, yes, sort of but no I mean… I, yeah I don’t know.”

You shut your eyes, warmth flooding your cheeks because you sound like a babbling idiot right now.

“Uhh, right… Well, are you free right now? Because I’m actually a few minutes away from the bridge and I was thinking I could come pick you up for some donuts.”

“Huh? Oh, s-sure.”

“Great, I’ll see you in a few!”

He must’ve been lying because he reaches your house far too soon or perhaps you hadn’t realized you had spent all those minutes playing out 15 different conversations in your head.

For the most part, the car ride isn’t awkward but that’s only because you weren’t given a chance to speak. Someone had called him on his phone, moments after you had said hi to him and the conversation lasted all the way till you reached the destination. He gestures for you to go ahead of him when he parks his car near the usual hangout spot. In all honesty, you’re glad whoever it is that called him had decided to discuss business matters at such an odd hour. If he didn’t, who knows what would have transpired in the car. You can’t run away forever though because now you’re here, seated on the bench next to Jungkook with twice the usual number of donuts in your hand.

“I guess you’re really in the mood for donuts tonight huh?” Jungkook laughs, peering into the brown paper bag that holds his favourite snack. You only nod, still trying to arrange your thoughts.

“How’s that hangover you’re nursing? Did you sleep well?” He questions, nonchalant as he munches on his donut.

“It’s uh, alright and y-yes I did…” You mumble, eyes downcast as your fingers tug at your earlobe nervously.

“Hey, it’s nothing to be shy about. We all have nights like that,” He smiles, using the back of his hand to wipe off the powdered sugar on his lips.

There’s an uncomfortable silence that hangs in the air and it makes Jungkook feel like he’s done something wrong. His mind starts working at a hundred miles per minute. Does being around him make you feel uncomfortable now? Was it the cuddling that had put you off? Well… you couldn’t really blame him for that. You were the one that had wrapped yourself around him first. Granted, he knew you were drunk. Damn it. He’s a dick, he frowns. He didn’t really mean to take advantage of the situation like that but he couldn’t help that it felt… nice to be in your arms. I-If you hadn’t put your arms around him, he would’ve let you be. See, he’s a good guy. He had nothing to worry about, he hums. But then again, he did kiss you on the cheek... multiple times. Ah, this was starting to look bad. He wants you to know he meant it in the most innocent way possible. You just looked adorable in your sleep and… and and there’s just all of these feelings he has that he’s still trying to properly map out but at the time it just seemed like a good idea. His lips are parted, an apology just at the tip of his tongue, but you’re speaking before he can get anything out.

“I’m— it’s… umm… I’m sorry I called you yesterday. I-I shouldn’t have and I caused you all of that trouble and I just—” You hesitate, forcing yourself to look at him, eyebrows knit together. “Please don’t fire me. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Fire you? Why would I— I’m not going to fire you,” He laughs. “Where did you get that idea?”

“I mean wasn’t what I did yesterday sort of a breach of the contract? You wanted all of this to be on the down low but then I called, and I basically forced you to come down to the bar and—”

“You didn’t force me to do anything.”

“I know but it was… unprofessional of me to do what I did and you had to carry me up to my apartment too,” You frown, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt. “N-Not that I actually remember that… Wendy had to refresh my memory because the last thing I honestly remember is seeing you walk into the bar and even that part is foggy at best. Ugh, I’m so sorry. This… this rarely happens and I’m just… I’m so sorry.”

You don’t remember anything… He’s in the clear for now, he guesses.

“Y/N, relax,” He tips your chin up so you’d look at him, offering you a soft smile. “What are friends for if they don’t drive halfway across town to pick you up drunk from a bar? You’d do the same for me, wouldn’t you?”

“I doubt you would want your posse to see me,” You laugh. “But, if I had a car, yes, I would.”

Jungkook frowns at your first statement. Why would you think that at all? He knows he makes it seem like he doesn’t want to be seen with you in public sometimes but that’s not really what it’s like. He didn’t know how to say it but more than anything, he’s concerned for your safety. He could handle the rumours, handle the press and well, even his mother’s wrath but you on the other hand, it would be cruel to subject you to all of that. He means to say all of that to you but when he peers over at you, you have this expression that mimics fear because—

“Oh y-you’re frowning… was that a test?” You ask, gulping. “Was I supposed to say no because then no I wouldn’t—"

“No, no,” He snorts, waving his hands. “No, it wasn’t a test. It’s— Look, it’s all good. You shouldn’t even have to apologize about yesterday.”

“Okay… but I’m still sorry,” You mumble, pouting as you tap your feet at the ground at an uneven rhythm.

He sighs, shaking his head at you as he grins. Why and how are you so adorable all the damn time?

“You know you and I should go out for drinks sometime,” He smiles. “You should show me how you guys live it up here in the South. Seems to be a lot more fun than the North judging by the state you were in yesterday.”

“Even after what you saw yesterday you actually still want to go out drinking with me? Are you a masochist?” You laugh.

“I happen to think you’re quite fun when you’re drunk. Slurring and babbling,” He hums. “Plus you talk with this perpetual pout because you think it’ll get you whatever you want.”

“I don’t do that,” You grumble.

“You do.”

“Do not.”

“Well, I’ll record it for you when we go drinking.”

“Fine.”

It’s an opportunity that never presents itself because it’s been a week since he’s last seen you. You say you’re busy with work and he understands that because you work two jobs after all. Jungkook’s not really the clingy type but he… misses you. He wonders if perhaps you were lying, that maybe you do remember the events of that night. Maybe more than that, Jungkook just wants to clear the air because his guilty conscience is eating him alive. Although nothing he did was technically bad as per se but… he still feels it was out of line. 

Perhaps he just needed to rip the band-aid off, just tell you that maybe he sort of kind of likes you and see where things could go? No. What if that freaks you out? He likes your company too much to risk you breaking off the contract but then again… he knows you wouldn’t do that. You needed the money, bad. But… he doesn’t want you to feel forced into staying friends with him. He hates how his mind always goes off on a tangent of its own, making mountains out of molehills. Maybe he just needed to see you to reassure himself that he was just making everything up in his head and that’s why he stops by the convenience store you work at, knowing that you have tonight’s shift. When he steps in however, he sees a young male working at the counter and at that he simply snorts.

Your phone dings and you grumble from your spot on the couch. Swiping at the message on your screen.

[9:31] Jungkook: busy working you say

[9:31] Jungkook: but you’re not at work???

[9:31] Jungkook: [image sent]

Crap. You groan when you see the image. It’s a picture of the convenience store counter, the worker at the register looking a little confused.

[9:33] You: …

[9:33] You: omg are you stalking me?

Oh damn… Jungkook just realizes how creepy this actually seems. He didn’t really think this through, he mumbles to himself as he slurps the instant ramen he just got for himself.

[9:33] Jungkook: wait what? no!

[9:33] Jungkook: I was just in the area

[9:33] You: hmm suspicious but ok sure

[9:33] You: anyway sigh fine you got me

[9:33] You: im not at work because im sick

 He frowns at that, wondering why you would lie and say you were busy instead.

 [9:34] Jungkook: so that’s why we haven’t been hanging out?

[9:34] Jungkook: lol why didn’t you just say so

[9:34] Jungkook: how bad is it

[9:34] Jungkook: did you go see the doctor?

 [9:34] You: ah yeah it’s just the flu

Jungkook hums at that, finishing the remainder of his meal before pocketing his phone to move towards the hot food section of the store to get a bowl of warm soup to go.

The pain in your abdomen hasn’t subsided and your body feels like it’s on fire. You haven’t been able to keep anything down at all today and you wonder if it’s the funky tasting egg sandwich you had for lunch two days ago that’s making you feel like this. You’d go to work if you could… you really can’t afford to take the day off, but you can hardly move. You’ve made your couch your bed for the past two days because from this spot you can crawl to the front door to open it when your food gets delivered. Speaking of, the delivery boy should have been here at least half an hour ago, but you don’t mind, you’re not that hungry anyway. Though you don’t really feel like eating, you know you should. You wonder what the point is though. You’ve barely digested it before you find yourself hugging the toilet bowl, retching out the contents of your stomach.

*Ding Dong*

“Coming,” You answer weakly, crawling to your door. You can’t stand, not for too long anyway because it feels like you’re being stabbed in your abdomen repeatedly.

You get to the entrance, pulling yourself up by the door knob. Your hand feebly reaches into your pocket for money as you open the door, not even bothering to check who’s on the other side of it.

“Y/N,” Jungkook smiles. “I come bearing gifts!”

“J-Jungkook, what—”

You don’t even get to finish your sentence, he’s already stepping in your apartment, rushing you to the couch.

“Just rest,” He mumbles. “I was close by so I thought I should bring you some soup.”

“You didn’t really have to,” You murmur, watching him set the plastic bag down on your coffee table.

“Well, what are friends for if— Y/N?”

You’re running to the washroom, throwing the door open before squatting by the toilet bowl as you heave out water and bile, having already thrown up your lunch much earlier in the day.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook questions, rushing to pat your back.

You nod, breathing heavily as your hold your abdomen in pain. Curse the stupid egg sandwich. You’re never eating one again.

“You said you had the flu,” Jungkook grumbles. “This isn’t the flu.”

“It is. It’s the stomach flu.”

He rolls his eyes at that and you scowl.

“It’s real, okay? It’s a thing.”

“Did you even go to the doctor’s?”

You mumble something under your breath, flushing the toilet before you move away from him to crawl back to the couch.

“Well, did you?” He questions again as he tries to pick you up, but you push his hands away, getting onto the couch on your own.

“No.”

“Why not?”

You refuse to give him an answer, trying to reach for the soup instead.

“We’re going right now,” He says, moving to pack up the food on the table.

“You’re overreacting,” You sigh. “It’s not as bad as it looks, okay? It’ll go away in a few days.”

“You can barely stand, you’re vomiting and you have a fever,” He mumbles, touching your forehead. “It’s bad and we should get you to a doctor.”

“No.”

“Why not? Are you afraid of doctors? I’ll be there—”

“No.”

“Stop being stubborn,” He frowns.

“I can’t go,” You sigh.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I-I don’t have insurance,” You mumble.

“You have me,” Jungkook says matter-of-factly. “You don’t need insurance.”

“Jungkook,” You sigh, shaking your head. “No.”

You hate being indebted to someone and especially so to Jungkook. You already had your whole drunken fiasco last week and you can’t let him do this for you. You’re probably the worst sugar baby in the business, you sigh.

“We’re going,” Is all he says as he picks you up, empty plastic bag hanging off his hand.

“No, please,” You beg, attempting to get out of his hold but you’re too weak to fight. You try to squirm, but Jungkook holds you tight, hands secure under your knees and back as he presses at the button in the elevator. God, you’re a mess, you sigh.

Sat in the front seat of his car, Jungkook curses as he looks up directions on his phone.

“Seriously? The closest hospital is in the North?” He questions. “Why isn’t there one in the South?”

“Ask the mayor,” You huff. “He said the South doesn’t need one.”

“Incredulous.” Jungkook shakes his head. “Hold this,” He places the empty plastic bag in your lap before his hand squeezes yours. “I’ll get you there, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod, fiddling with the bag. You’ve never seen Jungkook look so worried and you hate that you’re the reason why. It’s why you had lied to him in the first place because you knew he would do this. You start doing mental math in your head, wondering how long it would take to pay him off. You don’t even know what the ballpark figure is because going to the doctor has always been out of the question for you. It shouldn’t be too much, you hum. Except… it is.

Appendicitis. That’s what they say you have. You’re going to need surgery they say, and you freeze.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes ma’am. There is no alternative.”

“What if I don’t get the appendectomy done?”

“Well, then your appendix might rupture, and septicaemia might occur. Your body could go into septic shock and in the worst-case scenario, death may occur.”

“Oh… How much will it cost again?”

“About thirty-thousand dol—”

“Thirty thous— oh my god. Wait, can you give me a few minutes to think about it?”

“Y/N, this is ridiculous!” Jungkook scolds. “Just get the surgery.”

“I don’t have insurance,” You hiss.

You watch as the faces of the doctor and nurses pale. One of them scans your admission form and frowns at the address written on it, instantly recognizing your postcode.

“Perhaps you would like to transfer to a different hospital then? North Court Hospital just a few minutes from here is a hospital that suits your… kind better.”

It’s not really a question, the way the nurse had said it. It was more like a statement and at that you nod meekly.

“Y-yeah, I think we’ll do tha—”

“It’s illegal for a hospital to refuse treatment to their patients,” Jungkook glowers. “How dare you—”

“The law does not apply to southerners.”

“Jungkook,” You mumble, moving to climb out of the bed. “Let’s not make this a bigger deal than it—”

“This is insane. You know there’s a possibility of death if you don’t treat her and you’re refusing to do so because of where she’s from?” Jungkook growls, fists clenched. “What kind of doctor are you?”

The doctor snorts, shaking his head.

“Listen here, scum. I’d watch that tone if I were you,” He cautions. “All you Southies with your fucking attitude. The fact that any of you think you even deserve our time at all is simply nauseating.”

Jungkook has his fists clenched, his jaw taut and you panic, not wanting to cause any more of a scene than this whole debacle already has.

“No, you listen here, asshole,” Jungkook warns and you tug at his arm to get him to stop but he ignores you. “I’ll be paying for the surgery in full right after it’s over so don’t worry about that. Heck, you can have my credit card right now,” He snaps, digging his card out of his wallet to show it.

Jungkook pulling out his sleek, matte black credit card is almost like something out of a movie and you have to stifle a laugh at the sight. When the nurse reaches out to inspect it, you watch as his face crumples in fear after seeing the name printed on it. One by one, instant regret sweeps across each of their faces and it’s a sight to behold, one you don’t think you’ll ever forget.

“Ah, Mr. Jeon… i-it seems like there has been a uhh misunderstanding,” The doctor mumbles before clearing his throat. “We will attend to her right away.”

“Good,” He hums.

“We will be back to prepare you for the surgery in a second, miss,” One of the nurses addresses you and you nod.

When they leave the room, you laugh despite the pain in your abdomen and Jungkook scowls. You give him three slow claps, shaking your head as if you had seen an Oscar worthy performance.

“That was impressive,” You smile. “Did you see their faces when they saw you pull out your all black limitless card? And then when they saw your name, they looked like they were just about to piss themselves,” You snort, laughing.

“Well, serves them right,” He huffs. “Absolute dickwads.”

“You don’t think the doctor will ‘accidentally’ mess up the surgery and kill me on the table as revenge, do you?”

“Don’t joke like that,” Jungkook frowns and you simply laugh.

“Hey, Jungkook,” You mumble. “I know you got all pissed because of what he was saying to you and in the heat of the moment you said you would pay but… it’s thirty thousand dollars and if you uhh regret what you said—”

“Y/N, you’re getting the surgery. That’s final.”

“O-okay… but I’ll pay you back! By instalments…” You mumble. “It’ll take a while, but I promise—”

“You remember our deal, right? I’m supposed to pay for everything when we’re together.”

“Yes, but that’s different. That’s only when we’re out having a meal or whatever.”

“No, I never stipulated that in the contract.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be stipulated. It’s common sense,” You sigh. “Jungkook, it’s thirty thousand dollars. It’s not chump change.”

Jungkook sighs fiddling with his phone for a second before he shows you his screen, the PDF of the contract pulled up with one sentence highlighted.

All expenses will be paid for by Jeon Jungkook when both parties are present during an arranged meet-up.

“Yes, exactly my point! It has to be an arranged meet-up!”

“It is an arranged meet-up,” He smiles. “I said we’re going to the doctor’s and you said yes.”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“You did,” He exhales. “In the car I said, I’ll get you there okay? and you said, okay which is the equivalent of a yes. Thus, you agreed to this arranged meet-up.”

“Jungkook, this is ridiculous. I’m not going to let you pay.”

“You know, you never listen to me,” He grumbles. “Actually, you breach this very same rule every time you pay for donuts. So, this is payback.”

“The donuts are worth peanuts compared to this! It doesn’t even come close to a quarter of the bill!” You yell.

“Well, you can keep buying me donuts until you reach the equivalent amount then! That’s your installment plan.”

“It’ll take years!”

“It’s either that or nothing at all.”

“Fine,” You frown, and he smiles patting you on the head before he takes a seat on the chair next to your bed. “But just so you know, this is absolutely ridiculous. This isn’t a meet-up. Aren’t the meet-ups supposed to be date-like activities? That’s what your contract says.”

“Yes, this is a meet-up. I’ve always wanted to have a hospital date,” He smiles. “It’s romantic don’t you think?” He grins, holding your hand in his.

“Now you’re just teasing me,” You grumble, pulling your hand out of his as you sulk. Jungkook simply laughs, looking at you with an endearing smile.

While you scowl at him, the nurses shuffle in to prepare you for the surgery and Jungkook is called out to the counter to address issues with the admission form.

“The patient did not list an emergency contact. Do you know anyone she would like to list? Perhaps her parents or siblings?”

“Umm, I’ll ask her in a moment but for now I’ll just list myself as one of the contacts.”

The nurse nods, handing Jungkook a pen to fill up the section of the form. After filling the details, he gazes at the form looking through the information.

First Name: Y/N

Last Name: Lee

Huh, so that’s your last name… You’ve always avoided telling him what it was, always hiding your identity card from him which he’s always found a little suspicious. You had said that the picture you had on your card was horrible and that your last name was embarrassing, that it didn’t suit you and he never understood what that could possibly mean. What was wrong with the name Lee anyway?

“Excuse me,” Jungkook mumbles, addressing the nurse behind the counter. “Is Lee her official last name?” He asks.

“Yes, the last name given matches the last name on the identity card database,” The nurse answers. “Is there a problem?”

“No, no,” He shakes his head. “I’m just double checking,” He mumbles before he says his thanks and returns to the room.

When Jungkook slips into the room, you’re nodding at the nurses while they tell you that they will be back shortly. As he steps closer to you, he realizes you look visibly shaken and he begins to worry.

“What’s wrong? Did they hurt you? Did they do something to you?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s—”

“Oh, is it the drip?” He says after noticing the tube connected to you. “This is just the way they administer the anaesthesia.”

“No, I mean this is fine, b-but they did something alright.”

“What?”

“Th-they shaved me,” You mumble.

“Shaved you?”

“Shaved my pubes,” You whisper. “Do you think they did it just to make me uncomfortable?”

“What? No,” He laughs. “It’s just standard practice I guess because the incision point is close to the area.”

“Oh, okay,” You murmur. “I’ve never had to do this before okay? I’ve never been to a hospital, I’ve never seen a real doctor. I’m just a little… nervous.”

“Hey, I’m right here,” Jungkook smiles. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“You’re here,” You nod, repeating after him and Jungkook finds it oddly adorable.

“Oh, um by the way the nurse asked about your emergency contact section. Do you want to put anyone on there?”

“No…”

“You sure? Maybe you could put your mum’s details down. Just in case anything happens.”

“No, I uhh don’t want to trouble her.”

“Okay, what about your dad?”

It’s a question he asks for selfish reasons. It’s just that you’ve only ever mentioned him in passing... and perhaps that’s because you don’t have very fond memories of him, he assumes.

“No, no no. It’s fine.”

“Alright… you sure? You don’t want anyone on there? Not even Wendy?”

“I mean… it’s a relatively safe procedure, right? Nothing’s going to happen so just leave it blank. I don’t want to trouble anyone.”

“Well, yeah, but every surgery comes with a risk… even if it’s a small one. Anyway, it’s fine. I put my name down,” He smiles. “I’ll be here though so it doesn’t really matter,” He laughs, sinking down onto the chair.

“No, you should go. It’s late and you have to work tomorrow.”

“It’s fine. It’ll be quick anyway… Plus I did say I would pay right after the surgery.”

“I’m sure they won’t mind you paying tomorrow since you’re the Jeon Jungkook after all,” You snort. “Why didn’t you use that line? The ‘do you even know who I am?’ line. It was the perfect chance!”

“I hate that line,” He scrunches his nose. “I don’t really like flaunting my name and well… the power that comes with it, but they were being really shitty.”

“You know I always assumed you had celebrity status in the North. That people would instantly recognise you and bow at you or whatever.”

“No,” He chuckles. “I’m rarely in the news or magazines. My mother has always made sure of that.”

“I guess that’s nice then that you have that anonymity to a certain extent.”

“Yeah, on a day to day basis I guess but if we’re at some high flung gala or event, they almost always know who I am.”

You nod, feeling a little light-headed.

“This thing’s really getting to me,” You mumble, pointing at the drip bag.

“Yeah? Don’t worry, it just means they’ll be wheeling you in soon enough.”

“I’m actually… a little scared,” You admit. “I-I won’t feel anything, right?”

“Wow, you’re okay with gangs, being held at knife point and all of that but you’re scared of this?”

“Shut up,” You mumble.

You don’t tell him but yes, both doctors and surgeries scare you. Always did ever since you were a kid. It was never really a pretty sight whenever you saw a doctor in your home... and the screaming... you shudder every time you think about it.

“I’m here, you big baby. Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine,” He smiles, holding your hand. You hum at that squeezing his hand in return.

Holding your hand shouldn’t be a big deal. The gesture after all is meant to reassure you that you had nothing to worry about. It’s platonic, with no other meaning tied to it but the only thing Jungkook can think of is how naturally your hand fits in his. Of course, it’s technically all in his head because he wouldn’t be able to pick out your hand in a blindfolded test but… it just felt nice. He looks down to where your hands are linked, cherishing the moment when he sees something on your wrist that piques his interest.

Three small dots.

They form a triangle and— oh, your former gang! The Trinity! Jungkook smiles, patting himself on the back mentally because isn’t he a genius for figuring that one out? It’s odd though… didn’t you say the official insignia for your gang was a triangle? Why would you get only 3 dots and why would you hide it from him? He’s never seen it before, he’s pretty sure, but you did have a habit of rubbing your thumb over that spot from time to time. Well, that and tugging at your earlobes whenever you were nervous. It feels like his mind is playing tricks on him because he’s very sure that the tattoo wasn’t there the last time he saw you. He’s not obsessed with your wrist or anything, but he’s seen you rub at that same spot before, many times over and there was always nothing. It was a nervous tic you had, one he had always meant to ask about. It’s a question he would have to reserve for next time because soon enough the nurses are wheeling you off to the operation room. You simply turn to wave at him, smiling as you said see you later. The anaesthesia surely had gotten to you by then. There wasn’t an ounce of fear on your face.

When you awake, there’s a dull ache in your abdomen area but it’s much better than what you had been feeling just a few hours ago. You peek under your gown to find a dressing pad taped to the area and you sigh, wondering if the scar would be noticeable. Turning to your side, you find the chair empty, but you see a little note on your bedside table with a teddy bear next to it.

Y/N,

I waited a while but it didn’t seem like you were going to wake up anytime soon. The doctor says the surgery went well and that you can leave tomorrow. I have an early meeting to get to, so I’ve gone home to get some shut eye. I’m sorry ): I’ll come pick you up after my meeting though! In the meantime, your new friend which I got at the gift store downstairs can keep you company.

P.S: press his hand for some relaxing tunes

You reach for the teddy bear, pressing the paw that’s painted bright red with the words Press Me! stitched onto it. You click on the paw, waiting to hear something but all you hear is static before a Oh, wait... is this thing on already? Crap. You laugh, shaking your head but then you hear the instrumental playing in the background, and you laugh even harder. Soon enough, the classic melody starts playing and you’re snorting to yourself in your bed. Of course of all songs, he had chosen a meme song.

Shooting Stars is a song you and Jungkook had first heard in Mr. Kang’s donut store. It had been perhaps the fourth visit to the store. You remember the both of you standing in the middle of the store trying to search up the song because it had such a catchy tune. After saving the details of the song on your phone, like the free spirit that you are, you break out into a tiny dance, prompting Mr. Kang to join you from behind the counter and he obliges, laughing as Jungkook recorded all of it. You still have to get him to delete that, you laugh. Anyway, weeks later, you started seeing these hilarious meme videos with the tune playing in the background. Then, while you’re catching up with Jungkook over donuts, he shows you a compilation video of the meme and says: Isn’t this our song??? And so that’s what the song is. Our song, you hum. Of course only you and Jungkook would pick a meme song to be the soundtrack of your friendship.

The nurse must think you’re out of your mind because she’s giving you a look that borders on fear and disgust as she watches you sing along to the song playing from the bear. You debate explaining to her why you’re laughing at a mere song but you decide against it. Though patients are usually advised to stay overnight, she gives you the all clear to leave when you ask. Considering Jungkook has already paid for everything and was no longer in the vicinity, they didn’t have to be nice to you anymore. You’re unbothered though and you say your thanks before you simply slip back into your clothes and grab a cab back to your place.

You see Jungkook later that night and he’s obviously angry at you… that you already know because he called you in the midday after getting to the hospital only to find out that you’ve already left. You had a game plan though. You make him meet you at his favourite noodle store and after a bowl of rich curry noodles, he seems to have calmed down considerably… or perhaps he was just too busy sweating, gulping down his drink in an attempt to quell the fire that the curry had left behind in his mouth. Next, when you get to the donut store, you make sure to buy more of the custard filled donuts than usual but ah, you should’ve known that unlike you, Jungkook can’t be bought with food.

“Why did you go to work today? Why didn’t you just rest?” He questions.

“I-I didn’t go to work…”

“You did. I could hear your walkie-talkie going off in the background when I called you, Y/N.”

“Okay, fine, I did,” You grumble. “I already missed two days of work, okay? I can’t afford to miss any more.”

“I-Is it the money? I already told you I can help, Y/N,” Jungkook sighs. “You have to stop returning the excess money,” He frowns.

Jungkook has been trying to pay you more than he should be and it frustrates you. You only want what he had agreed to pay you. Sometimes, you find that he pays you double, even triple the amount and no matter how tempting it is to take the money… you always return it, hiding it in the glove box, under the seat, stuffing it back into his wallet when he’s in the washroom.

“I don’t want… handouts.”

“Are you really in the position to refuse it though? If you keep working like this, you’re going to—”

“I’ll make it work,” You huff. “I… I don’t want to hear any more about this, okay?”

“Fine,” He huffs. “Just know that all you have to do is ask.”

Jungkook is too nice for his own good. He trusts you far too much. He’s naïve. With the way that he is, he would end up donating his fortune away if he stopped to talk to everyone in the South. Everyone here had what someone would call a sob story. Why did he want to help you so badly, anyway? Didn’t he think it was odd that it was hard for you to make ends meet even with two jobs and the money you get from being his sugar baby?

“By the way,” Jungkook mumbles, softly pulling your hand towards him. He frowns when he looks at your wrist to find it blank. “I swear it was on this one,” He murmurs as he grabs your other hand, twisting it to find nothing there too.

“Oh, you mean my tattoo?”

“Y-yeah. You have one, right? I saw it at the hospital, and I thought I was hallucinating.”

“It’s here,” You smile pointing at your inner right wrist and Jungkook furrows his eyebrows because there’s nothing there. “I use make-up to cover it up.”

“Why?”

“Habit, I guess,” You shrug. “It’s a gang-related thing and you know how it is in the North. I hid it when I was in college because I didn’t want to freak people out… and well, I don’t really have a reason to hide it anymore but it’s just a habit now.”

“But, no one in the North actually knows much about the gangs. I’m sure they would’ve thought it was some minimalist tattoo you decided to get.”

“I guess,” You exhale, sighing. “I was just a little paranoid about it all, I guess. Didn’t want anything that would make me stand out or whatever.”

“Why three dots instead of a triangle though?”

“Hmm?”

“You said The Trinity’s insignia was a triangle.”

“Oh, r-right,” You hum. “Well, I didn’t want a tattoo at all to begin with and I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to needles, so they let me get away with three dots.”

“You have the weirdest fears,” Jungkook laughs. “I mean, they’re valid, but like in comparison to all the things you’ve seen… I just find it weird that you’re afraid of needles but not guns and knives.”

“What can I say? I like being unique,” You smile, thumb rubbing at your inner wrist.

The short well… interrogation that Jungkook had subjected you to has you feeling nervous. It’s over now but you’re surprised by how much he actually remembers. All those stories you told, you had thought he was barely listening, but he remembers all the little details. You shouldn’t be surprised, he’s done it quite a few times, mentioning random facts that you had said in passing and yet, it catches you off guard every time. It’s okay, you mumble. You had it under control. All your stories are in line, you had made sure of that. But, isn’t it time you start letting people in? How long can you go on keeping all these secrets? Those were questions you didn’t want to answer. Your heart is still thudding against your chest, palms slightly sweaty and maybe that’s why you say what you do next.

“You want to get a drink? You said you wanted to know how we live it up in the South.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean you just got out of surgery… yest— well technically, today.”

“Guess you’ll have to drink for two then,” You smile. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

You don’t even let him answer as you stuff the last donut in your mouth before you take him by the hand and drag him down the street.

One drink. You said you only wanted one drink and turns out one is all that you need. Wendy wasn’t joking because you really are a light-weight. All it took was one soju bomb and that pout has already appeared. It’s the same one you had on at the bar when you begged him to buy shots. It’s the same one that almost made him cave even when he knew you were way past drunk. It’s just… how could he say no to that? You whine, pout on full display as you beg him to share a scallion pancake with you. He has his phone out to record the whole ordeal and you grumble, pawing at it so that he would put it away. Although he doesn’t give you a verbal yes, you order it anyway because the tipsy version of you seems to be more perceptive than the sober version of you. Tipsy you had Jungkook all figured out it seems. Tipsy you knows that Jungkook can’t really say no to you. He laughs, reaching over to ruffle your hair as you smile up at him.

How Jungkook’s never been here is honestly a wonder but then again is it really? You had walked him through a series of dodgy alleyways only to come to a mysterious door. It was like those speakeasy bars they had in the North but instead of a fake door front, the actual entrance to the bar was just ominous looking for no reason. It wasn’t for the aesthetics; the bar owner just couldn’t be bothered to put in the money to make it look inviting.

After stepping into the bar, the two of you had been greeted by an elder man seemingly unbothered, only giving a simple grunt which Jungkook assumed must’ve been his way of saying welcome. The place was poorly lit, paint was peeling off the walls but you didn’t seem bothered one bit. In fact, you seemed rather excited. The establishment resembled what Jungkook would think a brothel would look like with private rooms separated only by screen doors. Truth be told, he was trembling a little when the staff led both you and him down the dark hallway to your own room. You had laughed at the fear that was present on Jungkook’s features but you had reassured him that the food would change his mind. And that it did. Spicy rice cakes with ramen? A combo he hadn’t tried before but boy was he glad he did. As the food started to fill up the table, so did the drinks. You’d set up these drinks for him, making him slam his fists on the table so that his soju glass, delicately balanced on a pair of chopsticks atop his glass of beer, would fall in. It seemed like you never ran out of these intricate set ups and he was in awe with how the North hadn’t discovered any of this yet. You northerners are too busy being posh that you’ve forgotten how to have fun, you had said, and he had only sneered in response because well, to some extent, that was true.

It had been quite some time since Jungkook had enjoyed the prospect of drinking. It was odd that he was having so much fun when there was only you and him in the room. He was always under the impression that he needed a large group of friends for a night of drinking to be even remotely tolerable but you, you’re a one man show. From the fancy drinks you were making him, to the odd games you make him to play, to your choice of food, he didn’t need anyone but you in the room. You move from one topic to the next with ease and he wonders why nights out with his friends couldn’t be like this. Perhaps when it’s just him, Yoongi and Taehyung having a relaxing night out, it came close to this, but otherwise, there was nothing like it.

You barely need Jungkook’s help to finish the scallion pancake. In fact, the boy only had one piece. The food at this bar is your kryptonite… well, food in general is but it’s been far too long since you’ve been to this place. You and Wendy used to frequent this place so much that you could memorize the posters hanging inside each room. They’re still the same, you note. This bar is timeless, never-changing. Even the menu was exactly the same. You liked that though.

“Wendy and I used to come here to celebrate anything and everything,” You smile. “We haven’t been here for months though.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know… It’s harder to find time for these things when I have to work,” You mumble. “Do you have a place like this? Like your old haunt or whatever it is you posh northerners say.”

“Literally no one says that in the North,” Jungkook snorts, his speech slightly slurred from all the alcohol he’s drank. “But… yeah, I guess. Yoongi, Tae and I hang out at Tae’s place all the time. He has an insane view of the city from his penthouse and there’s this amazing takeout place just across, so we always get food from there.”

“Cute,” You smile. “The three of you are inseparable.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s because— and I know how elitist this is going to sound but, it’s because it’s hard to find people who can understand our plight,” He mumbles, and you let out a quiet laugh which garners a playful scowl from him. “There’s just so much pressure in being you know… us. We’re always being watched, being judged, so it’s nice to have each other because when we’re together, we don’t really have to worry about all of that. We can bitch about whatever we want without worrying that we’re flaunting or whatever.”

“Yeah, I get that. Even if I guess I don’t understand your plight,” You say with air quotes and he simply rolls his eyes at you. “It’s nice to have friends that you grew up with and struggled with. Friends you can always count on.”

He nods at that. “Well I’m sure you had friends like that growing up. None of them moved out here to the big city?”

“Oh, I never stayed in one place long enough to have friends like that,” You laugh. “I have Wendy though. She’s like family to me,” You smile. Although, there are many things that you’ve kept from her too. Perhaps you understand what Jungkook meant to some degree because your plight is one nobody would understand.

“Family. That’s sweet,” He murmurs, resting his head in his palm, arm propped up by his elbow. “So what about me then? What am I to you?” He questions, leaning closer, his cheeks tinged red from the alcohol. Jungkook surely has had a few too many glasses of soju, you snort to yourself.

“Hmm?” He hums again, prompting you to answer his question and you lick your lips.

The question had caught you off guard and you hesitate for a second, not knowing what to say. You know Jungkook is enjoying this, the smirk on his lips tells you as much but oh, two can play this game.

“Hmm… you? Well, we’re soulmates, aren’t we?” You answer easily. “I thought you knew this already,” You continue with an expression that’s blank and cool, as if you’re simply stating a fact. The statement leaves Jungkook stunned, his eyes wide because you’ve never said it yourself first but then he sees you smile, trying hard not to laugh.

“My, you looked worried there,” You grin, devilishly so. “You’re the one that gave us the title though.”

Jungkook scowls at you, picking up some leftover lettuce on the table to throw at you.

“I just needed time to process what you were saying. I had a long day,” He mumbles, watching you pick up the lettuce stuck to your shirt. “But, yes, we’re soulmates,” He nods, laughing lightly as he attempts to dodge the same soggy vegetable that you’re trying to throw back at him.

“Only the rich would ever disrespect food like this,” You huff, shaking your head disapprovingly as you place the lettuce on your plate.

“Yeah, yeah, says the one who was trying to toss it right back at me.”

“You know you’re lucky you’re rich and cute so, I’m just going to let that one slip,” You huff, standing up to open the screen door. “Anyway, let’s go? I have to be at the port at 5 and I want at least 5 hours of sleep.”

“S-sure.”

Cute? How is it that you always say things like that so nonchalantly? Unfair, utterly unfair.

Jungkook must’ve been standing there in the middle of the hallway, looking all dazed and unsure which you probably mistook for fear because you’re storming up to him, holding him by his hand to lead him to the exit.

“It’s not that scary, you big baby,” You laugh. “We’ve been in far scarier situations.”

He only hums, letting you tug him along because wow, your hand is so warm and… nice. He’s held your hand 3 times now in the last 24 hours. He likes that. Was it weird to keep count? When did he become this soft? Doesn’t matter… it’s not like you’ll ever know about it. Damn. He shouldn’t have let you order that many bottles of soju. He didn’t think you were serious about making him drink for two.

Jungkook’s pretty much in his own world, lost in his thoughts until he feels your hand slip away from his to dig into your purse.

“Wait, no,” Jungkook frowns. “I’m supposed to pay.”

“Please, I owe you thirty thousand dollars. Let me pay.”

“No. We agreed you’ll only be paying with donuts.”

“Jungkook—”

The elderly man at the counter lets out an annoyed grunt and you apologize, hastily grabbing notes out of your wallet to place on the counter. Jungkook swipes it the moment you put it down, replacing it with his money instead and you frown.

“Let me pay,” You whine as you attempt to snatch your cash away from him but, it’s too late. Jungkook is already pocketing his change.

“Donuts only,” He grunts, placing your cash and wallet back into your purse for you before he grabs your hand and leads you out the door.

“You’re so stubborn when you’re drunk,” You huff.

“You’re stubborn,” He grumbles in return. “Also, I’m not drunk... Just slightly light-headed.”

“You’re tripping over your feet like every 5 steps.”

“That’s because you’re walking so fast,” He frowns as he attempts to get you to slow down.

“I don’t know maybe it’s because I don’t want to get shanked in this alleyway.”

The sentence makes Jungkook jump slightly and he walks faster to match your pace. You laugh at that because the boy was far too gullible. Maybe all your stories about the South had made the place seem a lot scarier than it really is.

“I’m just joking,” You laugh, squeezing his hand. “This area’s pretty alright.”

“I hate when you do that,” He frowns. You only smile in return because it was fun to tease him.

“By the way, you’re such a liar,” You say. “If you’re already this tipsy from just a few soju bombs, I highly doubt you can down 10 tequila shots in a row and still be standing.”

“I can and I’ll show you. Name the time and place.”

“Wow, no need to get defensive now,” You laugh. “You just—”

“Shit,” Jungkook mumbles as he stands in front of his car.

“What?” You query, looking at the vehicle. All the tires were still there, so were his mirrors.

“I can’t drive.”

“Well, okay you didn’t have that much to drink. You’ll be below the 0.08%... maybe... anyway I’m sure the cops will let you pass,” You mumble. Paying off the cops to get out of a DUI is nothing new. In fact it’s the norm. “You can still—”

“No, I can’t do it,” He mumbles. “My fath— No… I’ll just sit here until I sober up,” He hums, taking a seat on the curb.

Oh… Oh right. How could you have even suggested that? Idiot. You’re a bona fide idiot.

You remember seeing the news. You were still young then, but it was all anyone was talking about.

We’re standing at the spot where just last night a car veered off the road and plunged into the river right here in the province of—

Two bodies have been found, both middle-aged men who—

The driver is said to have been under the influence at the time. His blood alcohol levels though not high—

Mr. Jeon, aged 38, the heir to Jeon Logistics leaves behind a wife and a son, only aged—

As Jungkook attended the funeral of his father that week, you attended a funeral too, your eyes swollen from crying even days after the accident. Just as his world fell apart that week, so did yours. That was the week your mother had decided enough was enough.

“I can drive,” You offer. “The last drink I had was more than 2 hours ago.”

“It’s fine… You’ll have to come back to the South and—”

“Come on,” You mumble, swiping the keys out of his hand. “Or I’ll just leave without you.”

Jungkook sighs, scrambling to his feet when he hears you start the engine.

The drive is quiet aside from Jungkook giving you directions from time to time and you feel… bad because he’s only this quiet because of you.

Jungkook has never once mentioned his father, even if he probably knows that you know the story. There probably isn’t anyone who didn’t know about it. For 2 whole weeks, his father’s face was plastered in the newspaper, in TV screens. The police bounced back between claiming there might be foul play involved, to ruling it out completely. There were rumours of tampered evidence and then there was confirmation that the evidence has been left untouched. Everyone was watching, the whole nation wanting to know the series of events that led to the accident. It was anti-climatic in the end. The road had been wet from an earlier downpour. That, coupled with the fact that the driver had some alcohol, had probably led to the accident, said the investigators. Case closed.

He had been so young then and you cannot imagine what it must’ve felt like to lose a parent and have to deal with the media constantly scrutinizing everything. He probably didn’t get time to grieve and if he did, it was on display for the whole public to see. You mean to say sorry, sorry that you made him inadvertently bring it up but you’re not sure if you should mention it at all. In any case, you run out of time because you’re already pulling into his parking bay.

“Wow,” You gasp as you stand at the lift lobby. The floors and walls were lined with marble tiles and you smooth your hand over the surface. “This place is really fancy.”

“You should see Tae’s place,” Jungkook laughs.

“Do you live on the penthouse floor too?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah, of course you do.”

“Why? Do you want to see it?”

“C-can I? I mean I’d love to only if you umm don’t mind… I guess.”

“Of course you can,” He chuckles. “I’ll call concierge to get you a taxi from the unit too.”

Concierge? Wow. So this is how the rich live.

Everything about the place screamed fancy. From the lobby, to the lift and of course Jungkook’s unit itself. Everything was opulent, grandeur. Well, to be fair Jungkook’s unit was a little on the minimalistic side but it still looked expensive. You think it had a lot to do with the grand piano sitting in the middle of the living room. Either way, it’s been a while since you’ve seen anything like Jungkook’s house. The only thing that could come close were the houses the gang bosses lived in.

“The view is amazing,” You breathe, nose almost touching the large glass window. You’ve always seen the city from the South and it’s stunning even from there but this was a different kind of view. You don’t think you’ve been in a building so tall. It was odd seeing the city from within the city.

“Taehyung’s view must be crazy good if all of you choose to hang out in his place over yours.”

“Oh, it’s about the same,” He smiles. “He lives over there,” Jungkook points to an equally as tall building. “But he loves having guests over and I don’t… well not anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” He sighs. “Sometimes things get out of hand… Like you see this car collection I have—” He pulls you towards a room, his room you assume, and shows you a fancy looking large glass case.

You had expected those all metal, collector’s edition cars but inside the case, you just find multiple average looking tiny toy cars. In fact, you think you used to own a few of them. They had given them out for a limited time at the gas station as part of a promotion.

“Yeah, yeah. Everyone gives me the same look,” He grumbles, noting your confused expression. “It’s just my dad and I used to collect them and we— well, I had all 100 of them… until I didn’t.”

Jungkook had thrown a party a year ago. First it was a few friends but then those friends started inviting their friends and suddenly it was a full on rager. It was all fine and dandy. Jungkook didn’t mind as long as it was still in control, but then he would constantly hear amused cheering from his room and then distant shouting from the streets below. Weird. He ignored it the first few times but after the third time, he slips away from the couch to his room to see what the commotion was about. 5 minutes and a screaming match later, his apartment was empty. Yoongi and Taehyung had never seen Jungkook so angry before and it’s safe to say they never want to ever see him that angry again.

He had 100 cars in the glass case prior to the party and after that, he was only left with 95. Apparently, whoever was in his room had thought it would be a grand idea to toss his toy car 20+ stories down. In fact, they found the idea to be so entertaining, they did it 5 times. After that fiasco, Jungkook swore he’d never have a party in his home ever again and a year later, he still hasn’t. He had scoured the streets that very night and the morning after for the toys, but he couldn’t find any of them.

“I managed to find 4 of them… some online, some in thrift stores but this one,” He points to the empty spot, a simple picture of the supposed car in its place. “I just can’t find it anywhere.”

“Have you tried emailing the company that made them?”

“Yeah,” He sighs. “But they stopped making them a long time ago so they said they couldn’t help.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll eventually find it somewhere, someday,” You smile. “This is a nice room though,” You mumble, looking around.

“Yeah it’s my room so it’s the only one I put effort into decorating,” He laughs. “The rest of the rooms, my mother insisted on decorating.”

“Yeah, I can tell you decorated this one. That’s why this is here and not out there,” You smile, pointing to the TV. “It’s how you impress the ladies, huh?”

“W-what? No? I like to game and watch things from the comfort of my bed.”

“Yeah, sure,” You snort. “This right here screams premium Netflix and ch— Wait. Oh my god, this is amazing,” You hum, as you sit on the bed, testing it out. Maybe you should’ve asked first but you’re lying down on it already. “Wow. If I’m ever rich, this will be the first thing I’ll purchase.”

“You can’t. It’s custom made,” He smirks, lying next to you.

“Of course it is,” You shake your head. “I expect nothing less for his majesty.”

“Shut up. I have long legs and the commercial beds, when they come in the right length, it’s the wrong width, so I got a custom-made one.”

“Whatever you say,” You sigh as you snuggle against his sheets. “Anyway, just give me 5 minutes right here and I’ll go grab that cab.”

“Right, sure,” He mumbles. “Oh... about that. Thanks for driving me home. It’s— I just have this irrational fear because— Well, my father… I uhh—”

“Don’t worry about it,” You smile, patting his hand as if to say he didn’t have to tell you why exactly he didn’t want to drive. “It’s not every day I get to drive a Lambo around anyway,” You smile.

“That’s the only reason you agreed, isn’t it?” He grins, laughing lightly.

“Hey, watch it,” You warn. “Next time, I’ll leave you out there in the scary South to fend for yourself.”

“I’ll do just fine.”

“You’re afraid of stray dogs and you jump at any and every noise you hear. I doubt you’ll last 10 minutes out there.”

“I do not jump at every noise,” He grumbles. “And listen, everyone knows the dogs in the South have rabies, okay? Did you see the ones that chased us that one time? They were frothing in the mouth! Even had the crazy eyes.”

“Those were guard dogs… and we were trespassing which is why the chased us,” You laugh. “Also, don’t lie. If you were close enough to see their eyes, I’m pretty sure you would be dead by now.”

“Whatev—”

His phone rings, cutting his sentence short. He points at you, raising his eyebrows as if to say he wasn’t done arguing yet before he fishes his phone out of his pocket. Staring down at the caller ID, he groans before he answers. His voice sounds smooth, peppy, not a hint of annoyance despite how he seemed like he didn’t want to answer the call. You glance at the clock on the wall as he slips out of the room, not wanting you to hear about the intricacies of his business deals, you assume. It was already half past twelve and you wonder if this is what it’s always like for Jungkook considering that he has taken a few calls here and there when the two of you are having late-night donuts. The calls seem to be a more frequent thing as of late and you pity him because you can see the tiredness in his eyes, you can see fatigue in the way his whole body sags when he gets to the bench at your hangout spot. For some reason, it seemed like he was coming to the South to escape but he could never really run from it all, could he? Everyone thinks his life is all roses, but you know it’s far from it. They think he sits in the office with his feet up on the desk, waiting for time to pass but it seems like he never really does get rest. He always has something on his mind, always asking you if he could optimize the truck routes, if he could organize his warehouse space better. You wonder if you should take him to a karaoke lounge the next time the two of you hang out. Screaming out the lyrics to your favourite songs always helps you forget your problems.

It’s been 15 minutes and the call is still going. You really want to leave but you assume it would be rude to when he’s still on the phone. You sigh, letting your eyes flutter close because god, this bed is so nice. It felt like you were being caressed by a cloud. It’s so soft you almost forget the dull ache in your abdomen. It sounds outlandish, like an over exaggeration but it genuinely felt that way. Maybe you only think so because the bed you have back home is lumpy and hard. Humming, you let your hand slide across his sheets, the material feeling soft to your touch. It’s Egyptian cotton isn’t it? Not that you actually know what that means but you know it’s expensive. You don’t know the slightest thing about thread count either but you’re sure it’s high. You know that one. You knew after a certain number, the price was just ridiculous. You find yourself dozing off a few times but you always snap out of it, only to shut your eyes again. 5 minutes, you mumble to yourself. Just five more minutes and you’re leaving... even if Jungkook isn’t done with his call by then.

Jungkook sighs, pocketing his phone after what feels like an eternity. Mr. An was basically slurring on the phone, asking why his promised shipment of timber has yet to be delivered. Jungkook had to reiterate 5 times that it already has, that Mr. An’s staff had already signed off on it. Only then did Mr. An say, why didn’t you say that earlier? Jungkook knew it was odd that his grandfather had given him such an important client to take care of. It’s now that he realizes that his grandfather was tired of these drunken calls.

When he returns to his room, Jungkook is fully determined to continue the argument, picking right where he left off but he finds you completely passed out on his bed. He prods at you, trying to shake you awake because he knows you’ll be mad at him if he didn’t at least try but like the last time when you were asleep in his car, you’re impossible to wake up.

“Cab,” You mumble in your sleep, accompanied with a slew of gibberish.

“Yeah, come on, I’ll get you one,” Jungkook answers as he tries to wake you up, but you grumble curling into yourself, instead. He laughs before sighing, shaking his head because you even scowl in your sleep. Unconsciously, he uses the back of his hand to stroke your cheek, your features instantly relaxing at the gesture. He feels his heart squeeze at that and he knows he shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be lying next to you but it feels nice, safe even being right here.

He doesn’t blame you for falling asleep. You must be exhausted. You had been in the hospital less than 24 hours ago, had your appendix removed and even went to work just hours after. He really wishes you would reward yourself with a break once in a while. If you needed money so badly, why won’t you just let him help you? He had given you a big cheque for a few thousand before, but you had refused that. He has snuck a few extra hundred into the envelope he passes you every week or so but he eventually finds the extra bills in his pocket or car. Anyone in your situation with their head screwed on right would take the money but you… you just didn’t want to. The fact that you let him pay for your surgery at all is a surprise but truthfully, he strong-armed you into letting him anyway. He absolutely abhorred how they treated you at the hospital. It was a look into the reality of your situation, of Southerners in general. How people had so much hate was beyond him.

He exhales, letting his hand drop from your cheeks to play with your fingers instead because damn it, he loves the way your hand feels in his. It’s pathetic, he sighs but… he really likes the little things in relationships. The hand holding, the sneaky kiss on the cheek, the feeling of you in his arms. Well, not that the two of you were in a relationship anyway. He has to keep reminding himself of that. It’s hard to keep that train of thought, especially so when your fingers grip around his softly. He smiles at that, a warmth spreading across his chest when he glances down at his hand, barely enveloped by yours. Against his better judgement, he leans in to kiss you on the forehead, letting his lips linger before he pulls away slowly. He doesn’t want to leave, not yet at least. He doesn’t want to pull his hand away from yours but knowing you, you’d probably have a heart attack, maybe even two if you saw him next to you in the morning. He wonders what that’s like though... waking up next to you, your hands wrapped around him like the last time, him leaning in to kiss your li—  Oh. He shouldn’t be thinking of that. But... still, he wonders, wonders how he even got to this point.

Y/N Lee.

Who would’ve thought a girl he met by chance, in the oddest of places would have him wrapped around her little finger like he was a grade school boy, totally enamoured by his first ever crush. It’s quite the pickle he’s found himself in because, now what? How is he supposed to tell you that all he really wants to do sometimes when you’re sitting on that bench with him is... kiss you? How is he supposed to fight the urge to hold your hand whenever you’re telling him a story with the widest smile on your lips. How does he make you see that even if you don’t open yourself up to anyone at all, maybe... maybe he’s worth letting in. There’s just this warmth that envelops him when he’s around you and it feels comforting to be in your presence, like it was entirely alright to just be him. And that smile, god he’d do anything, say anything, to see it. Ah, but that pout too, it makes him weak in the knees, his heart reduced to a mere puddle whenever he sees it. He knows Yoongi and Taehyung would laugh if they ever found out about the thoughts that are currently swirling around in his mind but what could he say, he’s just a fool who hasn’t met anyone quite like you before.

Time, he hums. In due time, he’ll eventually tell you he likes you or maybe you’ll figure it out, hopefully, because he’s not too good with words. With his finger on the switch and with one last glance, he flicks the lights off and shuts the door quietly. Sighing, he sinks down onto his couch, stretching out as sleepiness washes over him. With a yawn, he lets the thought of you curled up against his chest lull him to sleep. Boy, he really is in a pickle huh?

Your alarm is ringing for perhaps the third time... you can’t really tell because it’s mixing in with the dream you have, playing in the background as if it were a soundtrack. Slowly, you peel your eyes open, reaching into your back pocket where you had left your phone last night. Your hands skim the sheets and—

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This isn’t your room and this most definitely isn’t your bed. You panic as you rise to your feet, quickly grabbing your purse off the table side before you pull open the door. The ruckus you made in his room causes Jungkook to rise sleepily from his spot on the couch. You’re shouting words of apologies, fully intending to make clear how sorry you are but when your eyes dart to the fancy digital clock display, you almost let out a scream. You’re going to be so late for work and given your recent attendance record at work, your boss is not going to be happy.

“I’m so sorry! I’ll call you later to apologize properly!” Is all Jungkook hears you say before you slam his door shut. He can barely keep his eyes open since it is 3 in the morning after all. That’s far too early for anyone to be awake, he mumbles.

You’re practically pacing up and down the sidewalk, trying to stay under the dim streetlight as you wait for your cab. Your boss didn’t seem too happy when you called in to let him know you’ll be a little late today. That was a problem you would atone for once you get to the port. As for the other one… you know, the one where you fell asleep in Jungkook’s bed? Basically, relegating him to the couch in his own home? After he had had paid thirty-thousand dollars for your surgery? You didn’t know how you were going to atone for that one. You’re not sure he’d even pick up your call later. You’re so busy beating yourself up you barely register the sight of a hooded man standing a few steps away from you. It’s only when he speaks that your head perks up, your body freezing in your spot when you hear those words leave his lips. You’d recognize that voice anywhere, recognize that pet name anywhere.

“Hello, Empress,” He smirks, pulling his hood up just so you could see his face. The scar starting just below his eye, stopping right at corner of his lip confirms your worst fear and you back away as he takes a step forward. “Now don’t tell me you don’t recognize me. I know it’s been a while but is that how you greet your family?”

You open your mouth to answer but your throat seizes up and nothing but a whimper leaves your lips. He lifts an eyebrow at you and your eyes widen before you move quickly to bow. 

“Fraternizing with the enemy, I see,” He exhales, head nodding towards Jungkook’s apartment. “Boss would be disappointed. Angry even.”

You haven’t felt fear like this in years. You can barely move, can’t even speak. Every nerve in your body is telling you to run but you’re glued to your spot.

“Don’t worry,” He smiles. “I won’t tell if you won’t,” He winks.

“W-What do you want?” Is all you can muster to ask.

“Oh, nothing in particular.” Yet. But of course he leaves that part out. “Can’t I just see how my favourite niece is doing?”

“How did you find me?”

Your question comes out as barely a whisper and at that he laughs. Ever so timid, his dear niece is.

“Well, I never really lost you in the first place. Never for too long at least,” He smiles, condescendingly so as he steps up to caress your cheek. “You think you and your mum would’ve been safe all this while if it wasn’t for me?”

You don’t want to show him any sign of weakness, but tears are already forming at the corner of your eyes. The sight makes him laugh because aren’t you cute. It didn’t matter how old you are now. You’ll always be a little baby in his eyes. He coos at you, wiping away the tears that fall as you struggle to move out of the grip he has on you.

“Don’t worry, boss doesn’t know... but, nice little province you’ve chosen to hide her in. Enemy territory too...” He mumbles. “Took me a while to find her. Smart little nugget, aren’t you?”

You can barely breathe. You thought your mother was safe. You had taken great care to make sure that she would never be found.

“Why are you scared, Empress? If you think I’m here to bring both you and her back, then you’re mistaken,” He smiles. “There are more pressing matters that I have to deal with... though I must say, I wonder what boss would have to say if he ever saw the two of you again.”

“L-leave my mother alone. She has suffered enough,” You sob and he frowns, using his sleeve to soak up your tears.

“That she has,” He murmurs. “Choices, choices. She had many to make and she made all the wrong ones,” He shakes his head.

“Please. Spare us.” 

You’re practically begging at this point because there’s nothing else you can do. One phone call and life as you knew it would be over.

“From what?” He smiles. “As far as I know, you’re Y/N... Lee. Not of my blood, neither of my interest,” He mumbles as he takes a step back, hand peculiarly grabbing for your arm as he twists it to look at your wrist.

“I can see you’ve tried hard to erase your past. So, Y/N Lee it is,” He hums, frowning as his thumb rubs at the spot your tattoo should be and it is, but the make-up has done a good job of covering it. “Cute little name, isn’t it? L/N just wasn’t working for you anymore huh?”

*Honk*

The sound makes you jump and you quickly pull your hand away to see a cab waiting for you. You glance from the cab to your uncle and he nods toward the cab, as if he was giving you the permission to go ahead. You didn’t need to be told twice. Quickly, you run over, pulling at the door handle in a haste to escape.

“Farewell, Empress.”

That’s the last thing you hear before you shut the door. Your voice is shaking terribly as you tell the driver your address, unsure if any of it was intelligible but he lets out a grunt of assurance and you finally sink in your seat as he pulls away from the curb. With your hands shaking in your lap, you wonder how you’re going to make it through the work day today.

Your uncle laughs as he watches the cab leave, enjoying the look of pure fear on your face. It’s been too long since he’s seen you up close. He’s always been watching from the shadows, always close but not too close. He wonders if he had made himself known far too soon. It was the perfect opportunity though and he couldn’t resist. When else would he ever get you all on your own with no one else in sight?

He whistles an old tune as he strides back to his car, perusing through the gallery on his beloved camera like he always does. There were so many pictures to choose from tonight. He had pictures of you and Jungkook at the noodle store, had a few more of the both of you at the bench, eating donuts. Though he must say, he has many of those already. Those weren’t that interesting, he huffs clicking through the pictures before he smirks. See, now these ones were interesting. He has a few of you and Jungkook going to the bar you love so much and finally the saucy ones of you driving him home and subsequently leaving his house looking haphazard. My, my, now what could’ve happened there? Mrs. Jeon would surely love to see these.

Oh, his sweet niece. Gone are the days where he would seat you in his lap to play peek-a-boo with you. Gone are the days where he would be standing with you in your backyard, teaching you how to slice a throat with utmost precision. He didn’t mean to involve you in this but no, things had unfurled too perfectly for him to ignore this chance. He wanted nothing from you, that much was true but it’s what you could do for him, what he would eventually make you do, that he wanted. Years of keeping tabs on you has finally come to fruition. What he once thought was a useless endeavour would prove to be one that would bring the entire gang to his knees.

Ah, Empress. You don’t seem too fond of the title now, but like it or not, it is your destiny, he believes. You could try running, but in the end, you can never really escape. It’s going to be the coup of the century and you are going to be the centre-piece that unlocks it all... and the best part about all of this? Well, you see he wouldn’t even have to do any of the heavy lifting. You were going to do all the work while he sits back and reaps all the benefits. Ah, bliss. Boss wouldn’t even see him coming. Nobody would. Chaos, he smiles. It was going to be pure chaos and he loved that.

Maybe then, everyone will see just how wrong they were. Maybe then, your mother would see what could’ve been.

You make it to work just barely under 20 minutes late. Your boss is furious, that much you know by the way he basically growls at you. Your side aches and maybe it’s because you ran to the port when the doctor had said to avoid any strenuous physical activity for a few months. That’s the least of your worries though and you struggle to stay focused most of the day. Your mind drifts back to your uncle, to the way he smirked when he talked about knowing where your mother is. You remind yourself to call her later from the payphone. Maybe you should move her somewhere else now. God, why is it that when one bad thing happens, your life tends to descend into chaos? It’s almost as if you were getting punched from every direction possible. You guess your life always has been like that, like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

You can only run away from your past for so long.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Things can only stay secret for so long.

join the tag list here!

A/N: Please don’t drink and drive! Also please don’t bribe the cops!

Ae knee way, tb to when my friends took me to this sketchy af pocha and I was so scared, but the place had bomb af food and super cheap drinks lmao love that place. Too scared to go back without them bc the uncle that owns the place looks like he hates everyone. Genuinely. I love him tho.

Also I wanted to post half of this chapter last week but I think y’all would’ve decked me in the face if I didn’t give more clues as to who hooded mystery dude is!!! I know everything seems random but everything happens for a reason my dudes. Anyway as always, thanks for reading and feedback is always welcome!!! (:

[jestbee]

THE FINAL GOOGLE FEUD - timestamps

That video was one of my favourites in a while so here are some timestamps under the cut

They’re quite Phil heavy... for some reason.

00:20 Dan advises we shouldn’t get up to anything we wouldn’t tweet. Phil disagrees and saying you ‘get up to a lot when you aren’t tweeting’ um... what things, Phil?

00:29 they’ve tucked their webcam on the tv away - They’re so into privacy. Not that they’re shouldn’t be, of course, it’s just an observation.

00:43 Phil sometimes runs through the lounge naked when he forgets a towel. I mean the bathroom is on another floor entirely Phil but... good to know.

01:00 Dan says “people aren’t going to delete their hard drives so what are they going to do with these recordings...” I mean, I know he’s talking about the recordings from Siri etc but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of recordings Dan has on his hard drive he doesn’t want someone getting a hold of 

01:22 Crazy eyes Phil is in full effect in this video. They’re both a mess. I love them. 

01:31 not too crazy to forget getting that spon in though, are you Phil?

01:45 Phil’s northern ‘where my bloody phone’ is just lovely

01:49 Phil’s voice is a lil bit off-camera and I like it

02:03 Dan used to have dry skin, now it’s oily. I think it might be just age mate, mine used to be oily now it’s dry... these things happen. 

02:07 you ‘forgot’ did you Dan? Or maybe you’re not as up on your memes as your purport to be and had to look that one up

02:23 the ice cap was better. Thank you for an opinion, Phil. 

02:38 Dan doesn’t want one of the Try New Things t-shirts. I am disappoint. 

02:42 garbled amazingphilshop.com spon

02:46 I love it when they instantly know which song the other is going to sing and join in. Synchronised

02:54 Phil back with his nipple obssession

02:55 do they call it a Prince Albert in other countries? Do people outside the UK get that joke?

03:00 Phil is offended nipple isn’t included

03:10 “the dirty place” Oh, Phil. Come on. 

03:16 Ladydoor, really? I thought we got past this

03:27 Dan’s whiny little “you don’t deserve it” nice.

03:34 Phil dreams some weird stuff, and Dan is sceptical because he knows all of Phil’s family 

03:52 Phil thinks eyebrow piercings look pretty cool 

03:57 Phil is offended at the idea of people getting BOTH nipples pierced. apparently his nipple obsession only extends to one nipple at a time. 

04:20 Phil calls Dan out for not being cultured. 

04:29 synchronised rocking starts

04:36 synchronised rocking stops

04:49 The phone rings - Phil’s phone voice is adorable 

05:53 This entire section is pure GOLD - Why is Phil so flirty?

05:03 Phil’s “No I can’t, I don’t have legs” reminds me of interactions between @ineverhadmyinternetphase and @charlottekath for some reason. I am surrounded by adorkable nerds who are too cute for this world. 

05:13 them unspokenly knowing they’re doing best of 3 in rock paper scissors... just that long standing tradition going strong to this day. beautiful. 

05:19 Phil: Shall we do a mukbang instead of this video? (Not that I’m not enjoying this video, Phil. But Yes please eat your pizza and 10 thousand dips with us!)

05:32 How Phil managed to keep that white tshirt clean while eating pizza is beyond me. 

05:58 Phil: Men can be milked Dan: *oh-my-god-why-is-he-like-this expression*

06:14 Phil almost does that shoulder punchy thing he does to Dan

06:21 Phil back with the nipple talk - this time it’s about whales

06:27 Dan makes bull semen joke, Phil explains it away to simple kicking

06:54 no Capita£ester jokes because they are getting tired but, like.. Phil you are a millionaire.

07:05 I’m not sure what Dan is really trying to say here but lol for the extra spinning tour spon.

07:09 Dan guesses dog AGAIN. Also, ‘Same’ suddenly those pet play fics aren’t that far fetched huh? 

07:29 Dan is so done with this game 

07:41 Phil is starting to get annoyed - cute lil neck grab 

07:49 Phil has told the whole kid-drawing-hands story before, I’m pretty sure

08:08 Dan guessing dog pays off - Phil is not amused

08:25 even less amused that cat doesn’t work

08:40 - 08:58 Phil debates on whether to put sharks as an answer

09:12 Phil: “A tampon, see I said!” When? What did they cut out?

09:18 Why the eyebrows over shingles... what do you think shingles are, Dan?

09:28 Dan is done with this game again because it isn’t relatable to him specifically 

09:31 Phil gets it wrong again and head desks for the first time

09:36 I can’t help but think the Jestina thing started as something a little closer to home and Phil is in on the joke. Idk. Does Dan have an Aunt Jess or something? Also, why Peru? idgi

09:52 Phil’s expression on the “what?” is... idk. I liked it. 

10:02 finally Phil gets one right - Dan isn’t impressed

10:07 Dan, wtf is this accent?

10:14 Phil attempts to skip the question and cut it from the video. Didn’t work, did it?

10:20 Phil forgets the category they picked

10:28 Phil is surprised he is the only one in the world that hates cheese - hands in hair and on the back of his neck... I’m not ashamed to say I rewound this little bit. 

10:36 Phil is concerned this will be a bad video because they aren’t winning. Oh Phil, do you think people come here for the gameplay?

10:40 Lean in further Dan, I dare you

10:45 Dan intensely wants to know who this person is. Who is the person I don’t know Phil? Have you been speaking to other people without me there Phil? Who is it who is it who is it? Oh wait... someone hates Christmas? 

10:51 Dan with the accent again 

10:56 please stop dabbing. it wasn’t funny when you started and it still isn’t. sometimes I wish they wouldn’t latch on to every internet meme that children find funny tbh

11:04 I know that in your household spoon is used as a term of endearment and that has therefore left you a little confused but here in not-dnp land, people aren’t generally confused as to why they’re called spoons enough to google it. 

11:10 Phil is really losing the plot rn. More head-desk hide-in-tshirt combos

11:12 attempts to put his head directly in Dan’s lap

11:20 Phil writes ‘Dan sucks’ as an answer - why is this so cute? 

11:26 Don’t pretend you didn’t linger on that arm touch there

11:28 Dan being loud and Phil telling him to shush is my favourite. Also Dan actually looking chided and listening? Amazing. 

11:42 I’m going to kill you to death 

11:53 Phil’s face at getting the answer wrong looks so done. Why do I like this? Why... I have issues. 

12:10 I will never forgive them for the jump cut before Phil booping Dan’s face softly with his fist. never. 

12:16 They didn’t used to roughhouse this much did they? I’m almost used to it except that I’m not

12:22 Dan... why the accent? I know you’re trying to suggest the common google user is stupid and this is the voice you are using to express that but just... stop.  I just realised... it’s Jessica. He thinks the general google user is Jessica. 

12:31 Phil asking the questions we’re all thinking

12:44 Phil throws down the gauntlet

12:49 Phil knows what he’s done

13:04 Phil is mad and I am... into that? apparently?  - at least he’s courteous enough to be quiet about it unlike Daniel 

13:13 Why would I want to make someone cry? Jealous. Um, Phil, why would you want to make someone jealous? And why is that where your mind went first? 

13:23 they mock all of the vaguely sentimental answers just in case we think they might have googled them at some point. Protest too much boys? 

13:37 Phil is intense while Dan sings us a song from the ii playlist

13:41 you are children. 

14:00 smug Dan is smug

14:08 More angry Phil and I need a minute

14:20 Srs bsnss Phil is concentrating with everything he has

14:30 Yeah, I don’t really get that either, Dan

14:42 Phil loses. No more Google Feud. 

14:49 Phil stops the end screen to propose something crazier

15:10 Dan tries to wheel Phil out of shot again as is his go to move. But... I mean, did you notice he isn’t pushing on the chair? That’s just Phil’s knee. I felt like you needed to be made aware of that fact. Just... for reasons. 

15:20 Phil attempts to continue his all or nothing with a forfeit of licking something and looks around the room for something that he could lick as punishment... I could suggest something if you like, Phil. 

(At this point this video might have driven me a bit crazy) 

15:27 Phil head desks right on to Dan’s arm 

Blah blah blah end screen. 

[rockbelric]

Trust

For Day 7 of 503 week: Trust. Enjoy!!

Summary: “Why don’t you come in with me and make sure I don’t drown, huh?” He smiles and offers his hand to her but she’s hesitant to take it.

Rated: K+

The water laps at Winry’s toes as she stands on the shore. She’s a bit nervous watching Ed play with the kids in the water, knowing that her husband can’t go in too deep in case his auotmail gives him trouble. She reminded him to be careful a thousand times, but of course now he’s currently throwing their kids around, pretending to be a shark. Winry doesn’t want to be overbearing but she’s so nervous. This new baby is shooting her anxiety through the roof.

She’s so focused on watching her family, she doesn’t notice Izumi coming to stand next to her until the woman places a hand on her shoulder. “Are you going to go in?” The alchemist asks, as Winry jumps in surprise.

“Wha- oh, no, I don’t think so.” She blushes, “I’m not really in the mood for swimming.” Her hand absentmindedly rests against her swollen belly.

“Well then come into the shade!” Izumi drags her under the umbrella, “All this heat can’t be good for you!”

“B-but I have a hat!” Winry objects, wanting to make sure her family wasn’t going to die a watery death.

Ed and Al’s old teacher forces her to take a seat in the shade. “Don’t worry, Edward won’t let anything happen to the kids. And besides, Sig is on lifeguard duty.” She looks out to her husband who’s standing knee deep in the lake, “Good job, Honey!” She blows him a kiss.

“I know he’ll take care of the kids, it’s him I’m worried about.” She sighs, playing with the hem of her dress. This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation but Winry feels more hair-brained than ever. Pregnancy hormones had a way of making her a little crazy. She can’t remember why she let Ed convince her into having another kid.

“I understand. It takes an army to make sure those idiots don’t get themselves killed.” Izumi replies, reassuring the young mother. “God knows when I had them they were a handful.”

Both ladies laugh as they watch Sig help Sarah out of the water. The girl totters over to them, her wet curls bouncing with the movement. “Mama, Aunty ‘Zumi! Look! We caught a shell!” She thrusts the giant clam shell in her mother’s face.

“Oh, wow, it’s so beautiful!” Izumi delights. She notices the toddler’s chubby little cheeks and nose were looking a little redder than usual. Dublith’s sunrays were nothing to play with, especially with Sarah’s fair complexion. “Why don’t you give it to Mama so I can put some more sunscreen on you?”

Sarah pouts and sets her hands on her hips, obviously not keen on being rubbed down again. Izumi is reminded of Ed when he was little, he always had a problem with everything. “But Mama did!” She starts to whine before Winry tells her to stop acting like a brat.

“After we’ll go look for more shells, I promise.” Sig pats the girl on the head to calm her down.

“Ok!” Sarah quickly deposits the shell on Winry’s lap and lets her aunt slather her up with the sun lotion again. Her mom helps rub it into her face as Izumi does her arms and legs.

Edward ascends the sand as Theo’s follows behind him carrying his little bucket. “Look at the shells we found!” The boy smiles just like his father. “We have like a hundred!”

“Cool!” Sarah jumps out of Izumi’s grip to look at her brother’s collection. ““I wan’ some too! Can Aunty ‘Zumi and Siggy help me?”

“Sure kiddo, let’s go!” Sig grabs Sarah’s hand and Izumi takes the other as they walk down the pseudo beach. Theo calls at them to wait up as he dashes after them.

Edward smiles as he watches them amble down the shore. His kids have those two wrapped around their fingers. The Curtis’ dote on them as if they were their own grandchildren, always jumping at the chance to watch the kids and spoil them. Dublith is just a short train ride away from Rush Valley so the two families have no problem seeing each other as much as possible.  This particular visit ended up as a trip to the lake thanks to Theo’s incessant begging. Not that Edward minds, days like these were far and few between.

Winry struggles to get up from the low beach chair before Ed notices and jumps to help her up, lifting her weight with ease. She squeezes his arm in thanks, smiling up at him. His cheeks feel warm and he has a feeling it’s not from the sun.

“How are you feeling?” Edward can’t help looking down at her belly.

“Like a beached whale.” Winry sighs, stroking her bump, “I was pretty freaked there for a second, watching you in the water.”

Edward huffs at his wife, displeased, “Winry! We went over this! I was being careful! We were barely two feet deep and the kids had floaties on! I told you not to worry, it isn’t good for-”

“The baby.” She finishes for him, rolling her eyes. “Yes. I know! I just can’t help it! You’re being so rough out there and your automail could drag you down any second. It’s dangerous!”

“This isn’t the ocean Winry, there aren’t waves and shit. It’s just a lake.” He tries to keep his voice from sounding too condescending. It was a hard habit to break.

“Water is water, Ed!” She jabs her finger into his chest. “I don’t care what you say, it’s dangerous with automail.”

“Do you remember our honeymoon? You dragged me into the ocean because you said it would be fun? How is this any different?”

“Because I was in there with you, I could make sure you didn’t drown! And, we didn’t have two little people to chase after back then!”

Edward frowns down at his wife, their faces as close as they can get with their baby in the way. She’s standing on her tip toes to make herself seem more intimidating, but it doesn’t really work since she’s still smaller than him. Ed knows he’ll never let her live that fact down.

Suddenly an idea comes to him and he perks up, surprising his wife. “Well the kids are entertained now.” He looks out to the four figures down the shore. “Why don’t you come in with me and make sure I don’t drown, huh?” He smiles and offers his hand to her but she’s hesitant to take it.

“Oh, Edward, this isn’t exactly the same. I’m pregnant now if you haven’t noticed.”

He holds in his laughter, deciding not to answer that question. He knows a trap when he sees it and he’s not going to fall for it this time. “Come on, Win, don’t you trust me?” He extends his hand back out to her.

Sighing, she tentatively places her hand in his, “Of course, I do Ed, it’s just-”

“Ah Ah Ah! Too late, there’s no turning back!” He smiles wide and tugs her towards the shore. “You’re coming with me!”

“Wait! My dress!” Winry digs her heels into the sand to stop him. What is with people dragging her around lately?

After she changes and adjusts her bathing suit, Winry huffs in annoyance at her husband. How did he always manage to persuade her into doing stupid things? He can’t handle how cute her little pout is, she’s pretty damn adorable.

Patting her on the head Ed asks, “You good? Do you need sunscreen? Some Water? Another hat?”

“No, Ed, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes!” She hisses.

“Alright, alright, come on.” He gently takes her hand and leads her to the lake. Winry looks down the shore and sees Izumi and Sig walking with their kids. They were pretty far off in the distance, still searching for shells.

The lake water was cool but refreshing. It was a shame really. Winry loves the beach and swimming, she just couldn’t enjoy it when she was looking after her family and had to waddle around with a baby inside her. It wasn’t fair.

“Careful Ed,” She warns when Edward takes them a little further out, “You don’t have to go so deep, you know.”

“Quit your worrying, woman.” He pulls her close as they wade around. “I told you to trust me.”

Snapping her mouth shut before she can give him another retort, Winry leans back and lets her hair soak in the water, trying to relax.

“We should do this more often.” He muses, watching her tip her head back. “Maybe go to the actual beach.”

“Mhm, I think the kids would love that.” Her eyes are still closed as she soaks up the sun. Ed pulls them a little further into the lake and Winry jolts up, grabbing onto his shoulders.

“Ed, seriously, were going to drown!”

“Would you stop! My feet are still touching the ground!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!” They glare into each other’s eyes before he leans in for a kiss. Her arms twist around his neck as the kiss deepens. Suddenly Winry pulls back, telling him to swim back to shore but he tells her to shut up and kisses her again for good measure.

This reminds Ed of their honeymoon, on that beach in Aerugo, where they had a lot of fun in the ocean. Those memories put ideas in his head as his hand gets braver, reaching down below the water. Winry blushes and giggles, clearly into whatever he was doing. What is he going to do with her? One second, she’s nagging him about his automail, the next she’s all over him.

They hear some commotion and pull apart to see their kids and his old teacher waving at them to come out of the water. “Break it up, lovebirds! The kids want to go on Yock Island!” Izumi calls out to them.

“Alright!” Ed yells back, still holding onto Winry, “We’ll be out in a minute!”

“I guess that means it’s time for us to go.” She whispers demurely. The evening sun is low in the sky and it casts a soft glow across her face, igniting her eyes. He kisses her again just because he can, and they set off back to their family who’s waiting by the shore.