#pretend memory loss

[tangledinink]

How did Swanatello react when Mikey told him they didn’t have a mother? How does he react after being told his memories are false? Does his family ever have to play along so as not to upset him?

[ prev ]

it depends on what kind of a day donnie is having, and they've definitely gotten better at handling things as they've gone along... while they usually try not to lie to him or 'play along,' per se, a lot of the time it's better to redirect the conversation rather than just... tell him no. his reactions vary, but straight up rejecting a memory or perception of his can be upsetting or disorientating. they usually try to ask questions to guide him back to 'reality' and gently correct or change the topic of conversation.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Just wanted to say I appreciate what you guys do, I've found some incredible fics with you.

Now, I found a fic on my dashboard and forgot to save the link, so it's basically lost forever.

The story is: Crowley works as a carpenter building some shelves in Mr. Archer's yatch (Aziraphale is married to Gabriel in this fic). An accident happens and Aziraphale loses his memories, so Crowley tells Azi that they're married and they end up living together. It's based on the movie "Overboard".

I'll be forever grateful if you help me find it <3

Hello! You're looking for...

Going Overboard by Fyre (T)

When you do a job, you expect to get paid. What you don't expect is for things to go overboard. Ineffable Overboard AU

- Mod D

[plantaagomaajor]

Only Friends hierarchy of needs

(and then they need to end up together in the most mutually unhinged and codependent relationship possible a la HIStory 1: Obsessed)

[zeb-z]

to be fair, I don't think qroier not trusting qbad is particularly new haha. i think it's been going on for a while even before purgatory. the only thing purgatory did with that particularly relationship is it gave qroier an excuse to be more vocal in his annoyance

( @lucienff the themes of these are similar so I’m answering the ask and responding in one post instead of the comments, hope you don’t mind :3 )

I agree with the read that Roier didn’t particularly trust Bad before, but I think that at a baseline, Roier doesn’t have much trust with most anyone to begin with. I think everything that had happened with Spreen back in the beginning of the server is something that is a large cause in that, because its still something he is suffering from months later - it’s just in true Roier fashion, it’s something he doesn’t really talk about to others. He’s only recently shared it and talked about it with Cellbit.

But even then, he had a respect for Bad. When the eggs first went missing, and they were both visibly affected by the stress, they had moments of somewhat acknowledging the other, but sticking to the script of “oh I’m fine” yknow what I mean? And before purgatory, yeah, there was no doubt that Bad cared for the eggs, and could be trusted in that regard.

But post Purgatory, I think that baseline trust has been shaken. He doesn’t let Bad see Pepito when he visited the castle, makes excuses for him to leave, and then afterwards talks to himself about how he’s angry that everyone seems to have forgotten Purgatory (both in the context that he also doesn’t trust Pepito, and he doesn’t want Bad coming up to him as if the past two weeks didn’t happen). When Leo wakes up, and Bad is around trying to talk with them, he makes a point of pulling her away. Of putting himself between Leo and Bad. And it’s in the subtle, usual jesting way he’s done before with Bad (“you can only drink lava once yknow. sure, try it, I’m not going though!” and “stranger danger Leo, stranger danger!” etc etc. said with enough dramatics it keeps it lighthearted, because that’s what Roier does).

I don’t think Roier is actively thinking he should mistrust Bad with the eggs specifically. I don’t think that he thinks Bad doesn’t care about the eggs. I just think he hasn’t fully trusted Bad before, and now since Purgatory he doesn’t trust him at all, for good reason - Bad was very much an instigator and a cause for both his own torment and his family’s (Jaiden namely, what with the spawn killing, and Cellbit, Foolish). It’s no longer a ‘this guy is a thorn in my side and I don’t trust him’ kinda petty drama between islanders. It’s a ‘this guy went back on the deal to keep the score 50/50 and did so under the impression we as the losing team could die’ kind of situation. A ‘we spent the past few weeks in hell and this guy repeatedly not only killed, but went over the top in tormenting my family and myself, I don’t trust him’ kind of situation. It’s not an excuse to be petty or properly annoyed, it’s a result of how Bad burned all his bridges in purgatory. It’s in large part a trauma response.

It doesn’t matter that Bad has never once been a threat to Leo, that he’s taken care of her multiple times, that he has always checked in with the eggs and cared for them - it matters that Leo is his sister, that Pepito is under his care, and he Does Not Trust Bad.

[ehhgg-art]

red vs blue is pretty cool. it helps me confront the horrors

[ponds-of-ink]

Hang on. One more late night crackpot idea for FNAF in general.

MXES is William Afton, but with huge memory loss due to a data transfer on top of everything else.

I am well aware that this is far-fetched. That’s why it’s an idea more than a theory.

[spotaus]

Pt 33!

[singlethread]

THIS MOVIE IS SO MESSY I LOVE IT

[adventureswithdipplin]

Surely you didn't have to possess him for that, though :(

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Avu'zr eon quag wr kutmeivvpno! Jmwj foce aluoea, nrg yhnbf, eqf jriimqiz fwe ewvlnbvsq! Rsua, glhtl's vb wlfl ensifvz tw gllu "woafivupov" nw bqb ciyp lv. Lvmecwjpno eiwwyna ciuhlcbyc wq uozzeo qucm V'zh jhd ul jxp.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

executive orders

words: 3.8k

warnings: 18+ only, ceo!rafe, assistant!reader, mean!rafe but equally mean!reader lol, p in v sex, unprotected sex, pretend marriage (like fake dating but fake marriage hehe)

“so…” the woman says, heels clicking down the pristine hallway as you quickly follow. “as you were told in the interview process, mr. cameron is a very particular man. as his personal assistant, your focus is more on his well-being than the business.”

“okay, i understand.” you nod. you find the whole thing odd. the interview process where you didn't actually meet the man you'd be the personal assistant to. his semi nondescript job. ceo. of some company named after him, but you don't know the specifics on what his role actually includes.

“just know…” she pauses outside of the large door leading into the room. “this isn't going to be an easy job. it's why you're making a lot of money.”

“okay.” you say again. the more you learn, the more concerned you are, but you're willing to try, even if just for one day.

“and you're paid for through the cfo. mr. cameron does not have firing rights no matter what he says.”

you're not sure what she means, but it becomes very apparent when the moment you step through the door, the man you presume to be mr. cameron let's out a growl.

“serena, i told you i don't need a fucking babysitter!” you turn around, but the door has already been shut behind you. you can hear serenas heels clicking quickly down the hallway. you had completely forgotten her name in the stress of your first day, but you commit it to memory before turning to the ceo.

“hello, sir.” you say quietly. “im y/n.”

“i don't need you.” he grunts out before focusing on his computer, typing rather angry and aggressively. you stand frozen, waiting.

“i said i don't need you. leave. you're fired.” mr. cameron says.

“i um… i don't think you can fire me. sorry, sir.”

his fingers pause as he looks up at you, seeming to finally really see you as his eyes move down then back up your body. you weren't sure what to wear so you're dressed in a black work dress with long sleeves and a pair of flats. under his watchful eye, you wish you would have worn something less form fitting.

“i hate being called sir.” he says.

“okay, mr. cameron then.” you take a few shuffling steps forward.

“rafe.” he shakes his head. “just rafe. mr. cameron is my fucking dad and he's dead.”

your instinct is to say sorry for his loss, but you can't find the words, which ultimately seems to be the right thing as rafe hums then turns back to his computer screen.

you watch him work for a few minutes, occasionally looking around the sparsely decorated office. you swear every time you look away, rafes eyes move up to look at you, but by the time your gaze travels back to him, he's back typing on his computer.

“goddamn it.” he groans out. “don't just stand there all day. if you're gonna be here and i can't fire you, you might as well sit down.”

“oh!” it takes you a minute to realize he's talking to you as his eyes don't stray away from the screen, but then you're quickly moving to sit on the chair positioned on the other side of his desk.

you sit again, watching rafe, watching the clock, watching the view out the window. “what would you like for lunch, si-rafe?”

“whatever.” he waves his hand. “it's not your job to get it. someone will bring lunch to us.”

“oh.” you nod, becoming increasingly more aware that you're not really sure what your job is.

just like rafe said, someone brings in lunch at exactly 12:30, one tray for you and one for rafe.

when he closes his computer, you think that now will finally be the time to talk, but he eats in silence. “so-”

“no small talk.” rafe says. “i hate that shit.”

“well, what is it you'd like me to do then? just sit here? at least give me a task.”

“fine.” rafe grunts out. “when you're finished eating you can read through this report.” he tosses a thick three ringed binder onto the desk in front of you.

“fine.” you argue back, quickly scarfing down your food before grabbing the binder. 

you read through the report. you have no clue what the numbers mean, but you do find a couple punctuation mistakes and highlight them. rafe seems surprised you have any notes at all, his eyebrows raising when you grab the marker from his desk.

“there.” you place the binder down once you reach the last page. its tedious work, but at least it's something other than utter silence.

“great.” rafe takes the binder and tosses it into the trash can. 

“hey!”

“those were numbers from four years ago.” you can see the smirk on rafes features, his amusement at getting you to do something completely pointless.

“you're a real dick, you know?” you say, blurting the words out before you can think of the consequences, it's not like you want to keep the job anyways.

rafe sits silently, but his eyes are on you, hands frozen as you continue on.

“you should hear the way people talk about you. everyone is afraid of you, which you may think makes you a macho boss, but it just makes you a shitty guy to work for. no wonder you have to pay everyone two times more than any other company around here, they need that for putting up with your rudeness.” you rant, suddenly sucking in air as your words come to an end.

“it's 5pm. done for the day. ill walk you out.” rafe stands, but you move quicker, pushing the doors open and leaving him to walk behind.

you stop when you see serena and the cfo quietly chatting. you open your mouth to say you quit when rafe speaks from behind you.

“i like this one. make sure she's here tomorrow by 9am.”

you turn and look to him, but he's already walking away.

--

you weren't planning on showing back up, but serena is a convincing woman.

“good morning, rafe.” you place a drink carrier down onto the corner of his desk, plucking out your mocha before schooching the rest towards him. “i didn't know what you like. i got a hot black coffee, a caramel frappe and the a cappuccino.”

rafe stares at the drinks before picking up the frappe. you smile, you should have predicted that despite his hard exterior, rafe liked a sweet drink.

serena gave you the company card, saying to use it for any and all expenses, even grocery's or home decor, she didn't care, as long as you entered the building by 9 am tomorrow.

“i know you hate small talk, but you'll have to get over it. what does this company even do?” you take a sip of your mocha, the taste chocolatey on your tongue.

“we are a development company. real estate all across the world. we also manage construction.”

“oh.” you frown. “that's more boring than i thought.”

rafe let's out a soft chuckle, pleasant sounding to your ears.

“everything just seems so secretive.” you shrug.

“i think they didn't want you to know a lot in case you turned down the job. you're the longest an assistant has lasted.”

“and what…” you lean in, ignoring that it's only your second day. “exactly am i supposed to do?”

“just… keep me in check.” rafe shrugs. “i have a tendency to get angry. bad news will get passed through you. you're here to be a sounding board, where i can vent and bounce ideas off of.”

“i make 100k a year for that?” you scoff.

“i think 50 of that is just for dealing with me.” 

you laugh along with rafe. maybe you'll end up lasting an entire week.

-- two months later --

“are you free this weekend?” rafe asks.

“uh, yeah, why?” you question. you've learned rafe likes when you stand up to him, speak your mind and not let him push you around like he does everyone else. he's come to respect you for it, and it's made work much easier.

“im needed in new york city. id like for you to come with me. as my assistant.”

“sure, ill start looking for hotels.” you open up your laptop.

“spare no cost. i want somewhere nice.”

you roll your eyes dramatically. “of course you do.”

you already knew to look only at 5 star hotels, the most expensive of the lot. despite the short notice, you find two connecting suites that will work for you and rafe.

“and how are we getting there?” you ask. “want me to talk to jeffery about taking the private jet?”

“yup, i want to fly into laguardia, not jfk.”

“got it.” you nod, finding the correct number in your phone before stepping out to talk. you confirm all the details, jotting down times in the notes app on your phone.

you stop by after the phone call to update serena of your plans, learning she's a secretary of sort for the whole company, really the number two right behind rafe.

“hey girl.” you smile. “heading to nyc with mr. cameron for the weekend.”

“oh, good.” she sighs happily. “he's been needing to go out there.”

“yeah.” you shrug. “if you say so!” you keep yourself firmly out of the business side, just like she told you your first day here.

“make sure you do something fun while you're there too. while he's in meetings you could see times square, or check out central park.”

“i definitely will! i want to see the cherry blossoms if they're still in bloom.”

“sounds fun.” serena nods before her desk phone begins to read. “sorry, gotta get this.”

“see ya.” you wave as you walk back to rafes office.

“all good?” he questions.

“laguardia, just as you want.” you smile, sitting back at your upgraded chair.

“don't know what id do without ya.” rafe says.

“don't be nice to me.” you scrunch your name up. “it's weird.”

--

“how were the cherry blossoms?” rafe asks.

“most of them still in bloom, actually.” you say with a soft smile. you ended up taking a lot of pictures along with exploring the rest of the park.

“nice.” he hums. “did you bring an evening dress?”

“no. and you didn't tell me i was supposed to.” you say.

“well… i would appreciate it if you joined me at dinner tonight. it's with a very important client who um… may be under the impression that im traveling with my wife.”

“your- your wife?” your eyes widen. “you want me to lie about being your wife?”

“just for tonight. id really appreciate it.” rafe looks at you with a softness in his eyes. “please.”

“okay… but i don't have an evening gown… or anything fancy.” 

“let me take you shopping then.” rafe pulls out his phone. “there's got to be a nice store near us.”

you place your hand on top of rafes phone. “ill find a place.”

you end up finding a formal store only a couple blocks away. you decide to walk, rafe keeping close to you, glaring at anyone who even glances at you for too long.

you make it to the store without any interruptions, and rafe quickly points out the kinds of dresses that will fit the restaurant before standing back to let you choose.

“you wanna watch me try them on, husband?” you ask rafe, following the associate with an armful of dresses back towards the private changing rooms.

“of course.” rafe follows behind you, eyes glancing down your figure. he can't wait to see you in a gorgeous fitted dress.

when you step out in the first dress, rafe swears he feels his heart skip a beat. “you're getting that one.”

“you sure?” you look in the mirror, twirling around to look at the dropped back. “i don't know if this color looks good on me.”

“it looks good on you.” rafe says. “but by all means, try on more. ill buy you multiple.”

rafe ends up buying you every single dress you try on except for one that's too loose and doesn't fit well. you insist you only need one, but you're not going to argue with your boss wanting to spend money on you.

you end up choosing the first one you tried on to go to the dinner with rafe. your hands shake slightly, not sure what to expect. rafe sees it, hesitating before wrapping your hand in his.

“it'll be fine. you can just… just be quiet for the most part. ill do all the talking.”

“okay.” you squeeze his hand back, not used to the physical contact with rafe, but finding it surprisingly comfortable.

you follow him into the restaurant, everyone else dressed to the nines, perfect hair and makeup on the women, the men with the shiniest shoes. “it's really beautiful in here.” you whisper.

“wait till you taste the food… wifey.” rafe says, making you both laugh.

“ah, mr. and mrs. cameron.” the man says in a slightly accented voice as you both shake his hand, as well as the associate next to him. “so glad to meet the both of you. we appreciate getting into business with a true family man.”

“of course.” you smile, putting on your best acting performance. “we are so excited to start our family soon.”

“we must see the wedding photos. my wife-” the man puts a proud hand on his chest. “is a wedding dress designer.”

“oh.” you frown. “i would love to show you, but we haven't gotten them back yet.” you smile at rafe. “we’re newlyweds.”

“ah, cheers to the beginning of a lovely marriage then.” he raises his glass to clink with the others at the table.

“please, kiss! you must after a toast.” the associate says.

you turn to rafe, glancing down to look at his lips. it would totally give you away to refuse, so you take a deep breath and lean into in, pressing your lips together in a quick kiss. it lasts only a moment, but you swear you feel a spark, a tug to continue kissing him.

rafe doesn't bring it up until later, as your riding the elevator back up to your hotel room. “you did great. im sorry about the kiss.”

“it wasn't bad.” you giggle softly, slightly drunk on the wine that was served.

“im glad you think that.” rafe smiles softly. “you'll make a wonderful wife to a very lucky man someday.”

“maybe we could…” you swallow harshly, the alcohol encouraging your words you know you shouldn't say. “maybe we could keep pretending. just for tonight. and then when we get back to the office things can be back to normal.”

“and what does continuing to pretend to be husband and wife entail?” rafe questions, taking a step closer to you.

“more kissing. more… more.”

rafes lips are against yours suddenly, ignoring the elevator doors sliding open in favor of his mouth pushing against yours, lips gliding harshly over each others. the kiss is the exact opposite of the restaurant, whereas it was quick and innocent, this kiss is full of fire and passion.

the elevators slide shut and begin to head back down to the lobby. “shit.” rafe groans against your lips, jamming the button towards your floor. “sorry baby.”

“just… keep kissing me until someone gets in.” rafe listens to your pleas, kissing you until the elevator comes to a halt. even then, he doesn't move far away, keeping himself stood possessively over you, your back against the elevator wall.

you smile awkwardly at the three men who enter before turning your face into rafes chest, focused on the hand that has slipped around your waist. 

the elevator stops and the three men get off. the second it's moving again, rafe is back kissing you, stumbling out when your doors open as to not make the same mistake as last time.

“shit.” rafe groans, having to fumble in his pocket to get the key card for the door.

you let out a soft giggle, pressing kisses to his neck and jaw until the door swings open and you're able to step in the room.

“are you sure?” rafe asks, closing and locking the door behind you.

“im sure.” you nod. “this is just… pretend. let's do what husbands and wives do.”

rafe moves you towards the bed, backing you up until you sit down on the plush spread, decorated exactly like yours in the connecting room, but this bedding still smells like rafe from the night before.

he sinks to his knees, such a strong, dominant man on the floor for you as he takes off your heels, carefully slipping them off your soles before setting them to the side.

“thank you.” you say softly. rafe looks up at you before leaning forward, pushing the slit of your dress open to press kisses to your knees, and then thighs, moving up until the dress no longer allows him to.

“i need you to take this off.” he says roughly.

you nod, shifting yourself to stand as rafe also rises. you turn your back to him, his hands moving to your waist before moving up until he's cupping your chest over the shiny material.

“rafe-” you gasp out as he squeezes, his large palms enveloping your entire breast.

rafe holds his hands there for a moment longer before moving them to your back, unzipping your dress and watching it fall to the floor. you're in just a small pair of lingerie, having bought it for yourself yesterday in a boutique.

“shit.” rafe curses again. “you're… you're so beautiful.”

you turn around to kiss him again, his hands now against your bare skin as he explores, moving all along your sides and back.

your own hands get busy as well, fingers deftly unbuttoning his shirt until you can push it off his shoulders. you pull away to see his muscles, hints of which you've seen when he's rolled up his sleeves or wore a tighter than normal shirt, but now you can finally really see and appreciate them.

“lay down, please.” rafe says.

you move to lay on his bed, head resting against the pillows as rafe crawls over your body. his mouth finds yours again as his hand delves under your back to unhook your bra. he pulls it away from your body as his lips leave yours.

he's only off your skin for a moment before his mouth is wrapped around your nipple, tongue swirling around in circles as his hand holds your other breast.

“oh, shit.” it's your turn to curse as your eyes squeeze closed, hand coming to the back of rafes head, feeling his short hair as he sucks on your nipple before kissing all over the swell of your breast. he switches sides, wanting to taste all of you.

you lift your hips when his hand grabs onto your underwear, allowing him to pull it all the way down until you kick it off the bed. rafe pulls away to look between your legs, letting out a soft moan when you part your thighs and he can see how wet you already are.

“beautiful.” he says, eyes closing like it's too much to look at you as his hand skirts down your stomach before finding your wetness, finger circling around your entrance before gently pushing in.

“kiss me, please.” you take rafes face in your hands, guiding your mouths back together as his finger carefully thrusts in and out. he slowly increases the speed until you're whining against his lips for more.

rafe twists his hand so his thumb can rub over your clit as you let out a moan, hips pressing up, seeking more.

“i need you.” rafe pulls his hand away. “i need you so bad.”

you nod quickly, giving him one more quick kiss before he pulls away to take off his pants and underwear. you bite your lip once hes completely nude, his cock standing tall and hard away from his body. you want to taste him, want to see what it feels like to have his cock sit heavy on your tongue, but you need him inside of you more.

“i have a condom somewhere…” he looks around.

“you don't need to wear one. I'm on birth control.” you can feel your cheeks blush just at the suggestion. “it's… it's not what a husband and wife would do.”

“okay.” rafe doesn't need any more convincing, crawling back over your body. “do you want me like this?”

you flip over quickly so you're on top, rafes back now pressed into the mattress. you grab onto his cock, giving him a few quick strokes before you line him up with your cunt, sinking down with a synchronous moan.

you keep your eyes on rafes face as you begin to move, hips grinding up and then back, your hands sat firmly on his chest to help you move.

you're able to grind your clit down against his skin every time you sink fully down, just adding to the pleasure. he's stretching you out in the most pleasurable way, just enough to feel it without being painful.

“so fucking beautiful.” rafe says, reaching up to hold onto your tits as they bounce with your body.

you put all your energy into riding him, knowing this might be your only chance to, but hoping it's not, hoping you can feel him inside of you again.

“i- baby.” rafe grunts out, hands moving down to your hips. he helps you move as your legs quickly tire, not used to this position.

“you feel so good.” you whine out eyes sliding shut as rafes hips begin to push up, lifting you with every thrust, spearing his cock even further into you.

“im-im close.” you admit with a gasp, his cock hitting your sweet spot every time.

“cum for me baby, please.” rafe moves one of his hands to your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to rub over your clit.

you cry out, back arching as you instantly cum, not needing any more stimulation as your body shakes before flopping forward, falling against rafes chest.

he gives you a minute, as long as he can hold back before flipping you onto your back. it takes him only a few thrusts to cum inside of you, filling you up to the brim.

rafe flops down next to you, both breathing heavily, skin sheened in sweat.

you wait for a moment. to see if he's going to say anything. when he doesn't, you scooch closer to him, placing your hand on his cheek and bringing him in for a kiss, not yet done pretending.

-- four years later --

“you remember the first time we came here?” rafe asks, stepping into the restaurant with his hand wrapped around yours. it's redecorated some, but is still familiar.

“how could i forget.” you smile at him. “where i first pretended to be your wife.”

“well, at least you don't have to pretend anymore,” rafe says, swiping his thumb over the diamond ring on your finger “mrs. cameron.”

[peachesofteal]

Simple Math / Part Eighteen

Simple Math masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader - AO3 - 3.1K words Tags: 18+ mdni. nurse!reader. Sexual content. Pregnancy and things that come with it. Brief mention of options in relation to termination of pregnancy. PTSD. Heavy emotions. Graphic descriptions of domestic violence and miscarriage, suicidal ideation. This is mostly inner monologue. Feelings of anxiety, despair, fear. This part is a little shorter due to its emotional nature.

There’s no oxygen.

No room for your lungs to expand, nothing for you to suck into your chest and relieve the ache blooming in your bones.

You drift, unmoored, a sailboat with no rudder, no engine to save you in an ocean without a breeze. All you can do is follow the current, the one leading you back to the dozen HCG strips buried in the bottom of a trash can, faint pink lines buried in the membranes and the matter of your brain.

The midwife that squeezed you in confirmed it all with a blood draw.

“You have options.”

“I know.”

There are resources, and education for you…  though I know you’re probably aware.”

“Yup.”

“Depending on your decisions, we’d like to see you in about two weeks for an eight-week ultrasound.” You gulp. The air is tragically thin in this room, and the paper crinkles under your uneasy weight.  

“Okay.”

When Simon appears in the main lobby for the usual trek home, you barely hold back the urge to vomit all over his shoes. Your legs are weak, trembling with each step forward, and you hold his hand so tight, your bones ache.

Sensitive as always, he lingers alongside you in the quiet, biding his time before slicing through your silence. “What is it sweetheart?”

“Huh?” You’re already on the front doorstep, memory of the entire trip evaporated.

“Do you still not feel well?”

“Oh, yeah.” The lie is toxic, sludge stuck in your bloodstream, clogging your capillaries until they burst like fireworks. “It’s my stomach.”

“Pen’s still under the weather too.”

“Poor thing.” The words are numb. Your mind is numb. Your body is a livewire and exhausted, all at once, the push and pull almost knocking you onto the floor. In the kitchen, Johnny wraps an arm around your waist, leaning in for a kiss, but nothing registers.

“Maybe you should get some rest.”

“Yeah.” Autopilot. That’s the gear you’re in. Going through the motions, trying to hold yourself together, keep your head above water.

Is this real?

Is this happening?

What will they say?

What will they think?

“Bunny?” Johnny’s thumb is on your carotid, where your pulse beats. Where your heart pushes blood through your circulatory system, flowing to a presence now fluttering inside you.

One plus one equals two.

“Sorry, yeah. Think I’m gonna go up, take a nap.”

“Yell if ye need anything, aye?” All you can do is nod.

You gravitate towards the guest room before you can stop yourself. It’s as you left it, bed made, sheets crisp, remnants of your things separated into easily sorted piles. In the nest of blankets, it’s easy to pretend. Easy to imagine the bed as a cloud of cotton candy, so high in the sky, above the earth, above this… this thing that is happening.

An embryo. Something two millimeters long, siphoning its existence from yours.

That tiny sliver of hope is nowhere to be found, replaced now with logical, realistic questions.

Can you sustain a pregnancy, after the damage inflicted during the last one?

Can you carry one to viability?

Can you mentally, emotionally, physically handle a pregnancy?

An infant?

And what about them?

What about you?

You think about the times you wanted to die. The moments you sat in the shower, streams of red running to the drain, a clump of cells you never knew draining from your body with each second.

A loss you never knew you’d mourn. Something stolen. Something slipping through your fingers, handfuls of sand blown away by a sea breeze.

The overwhelming feeling of drowning every time you laid on the floor in a broken heap, synapses misfiring, making wrong connections, desperately trying to latch onto anything normal, anything sane. Staring at the ceiling, slow flow of blood dripping down your throat, left wondering if this will be it, this will be the moment it goes too far. Your spine will snap. You’ll take a blow to the head strong enough to render you unconscious, permanently. Your windpipe will be crushed, closing in on itself, starving your brain of oxygen. In those moments, you could only hope.

You’re grateful, at least, that you don’t feel like that now.

In a cocoon on a cusp of hazy sleep, you’re cradled to a chest, jostled lightly until blankets are tucked back up around your shoulders and snuggled between two warm bodies, a gentle hand cupping your cheek.

“Our sweet girl,” Simon murmurs in the dark, “we’re here. Whatever it is, we have you.”

A dream.

You sleepwalk through life. One week turns to two, and then three. Three weeks turn to four, and more, before you know it, you’re twelve weeks pregnant, still going through the motions, robotically making your way through each day. You’re shoving the waterfall of feelings and emotions so deep, so far away, they’re likely to never see the sun again.

You lock them in a box.

You bury it in a grave, six feet under.

At work, you’re grateful you know your job inside and out, because you’re mostly just going through the motions. The only time you show any sign of life is when your boss tries to float you to the NICU. When you dig in your heels, repeatedly denying the request, she finally gives up and moves onto a new unsuspecting victim.

Better them than you.

At home, its worse. You don’t know if you’re imagining the tension or if its truly there, eggshells crumbling beneath your feet, words turned to ash. You’re a marionette, fate pulling the strings, tearing the joints of your limbs in a million directions.

They can tell. They read you too well, but you’re not so easily swayed. Simon tries to coax it gently; Johnny tries to bluntly force it out. Both tactics fail, but they themselves stay steady, and true, holding you in the night, soothing you with touch and whispers, loving you through it all.

During the day, they coddle you. Johnny massages your shoulder, tips your chin back until your skull rests on collarbone, dots kisses all over your skin. He tugs you onto the patio, curls up on the outdoor loveseat with you under a big blanket, your head in his lap, telling you stories about his childhood, his parents. He makes you giggle by reminiscing of all the times he chased Simon around at work, how Kyle fell out of a helicopter, how they had to wear suits for an undercover op one time and Simon's ripped right down the ass.

Simon cooks, all your favorites, things you forgot he pays attention to, and spoons you on the couch, big arm like a safety net stretched across your chest to keep you close. He brings tea to bed, reading until your eyes close, calming your mind enough to lull you to sleep.

Even at night, they treasure you like glass. Johnny lays on his stomach, thumbs rubbing circles into your thighs, parting them, backs of his knuckles tracing over the seam of your pussy, coaxing your arousal, taking his time. He licks your clit so slowly its torture, all the while Simon tugs your knee as wide as he can, hand fisted in the mohawk, kissing you from shoulder to neck, over and over.

You beg them to fuck you hard, harder than you’ve ever asked for it before. Johnny jumps at the idea, but Simon kills it immediately.

“No,” he traces a line over the curve of your ass to the creases of your thighs, “that’s not going to happen, sweetheart. Not until you tell us what’s going on.” You opt to bury your face in his chest instead and ride Johnny’s hand as Simon coaches, telling you how good you are, how lucky they are, how much you mean to them.

If only they knew. Would they still feel the same?

It’s more than you deserve, you think. More than you know how to handle. The guilt piles onto your shoulders. You’re carrying a life, a life you created with them, a life they should know about.

The decisions waiting in the wings haunt you at every turn.

What should you do? What will you do?

You should tell them. They should know.

Why are you keeping this a secret?

The time is passing too fast, and with it, your panic increases, forcing your back to bow, hands clutching at your legs, head hanging heavy to the floor. At work in the closet, at home the moments you’re alone, the agony steals your breath, heart shredding to pieces. It overcomes you, floods your nervous system until the world spins.

In the shower, you fall apart, truly, knees slamming into tile, your shoulders slumped against the wall.

It’s hard to tell you’re crying with water streaming over your face.

You lose your shit the day Penny crawls across the couch to cuddle you.

She pulls herself up onto your belly, her head resting on your chest, chubby hands fisted in your shirt.

“Bunny wead?” She wants a story, a routine the two of you enjoy together, turning the pages of a children’s book and acting out all the voices. She’ll squeal with glee, her laughter full of excitement, and you’ll tickle her sides while pretending to eat her foot.

It makes you both happy, but today, it splits your soul in two.

You burst into tears. She jolts back, looking up into your face, little brow furrowed in confusion, mouth shocked into a circle.

“Bunny.” She pats your cheek, alarmed, and you skim your nose across the top of her head, breathing her deep, anchoring your arm around her back. She’s starting to get upset, too perceptive, too empathetic, already expressing the traits of both her parents. You try to soothe her distress.

“It’s alright.” Your voice cracks on the promise, her nose pressed to your throat. “It’s alright, Penny. I’m sorry. Everything’s okay.” Johnny’s unmistakable gait sounds on the stairs, still slightly off balance, and you hastily wipe your face, forcing your eyes to his as he approaches the couch.

“What’s wrong?” He sees it immediately, and you shake him off with another lie, so many little white ones rotting into blinding despair.

“I had a bad day at work yesterday, that’s all. Just still trying to process it.” His head cocks.

“Ye sure?”

“Yeah, promise. I’ll be fine.”

The tide changes at work.

A man lies in a medically induced coma, barbiturates keeping him in the dark, a suspended state of uncertainty. His wife waits, and waits, fixes her too keen eyes on you every time she sees you, waiting for an update, good news, anything. Anything that could bring her peace.

On the second day of your work week, your steps stutter at the sight of her sitting bedside, a baby in her arms, gentle words floating between them.

“We’ve moved onto ba now, for a bottle, which is just crazy,” she murmurs, a hand under her cheek, wiping away tracks of tears, “and I think he’s too big for me to carry around at this point.” There’s a wet chuckle, and the baby tips forward, smacking his hand on his dad’s. “Is that daddy?” She bounces him, quiet as he babbles and gurgles, his eyes wide at the sights and sounds in a hospital room.

You clear your throat. She startles.

“Oh god, sorry… I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s okay,” Intruding on private moments is not uncommon, though here it feels different. “I just need to check on some things and then I’ll be out of your hair.” She nods, and outside of the baby’s noises, the room is silent until she breaks it with a whisper.

“I know there’s probably no chance he can hear me,” her fingers stroke through his hair, a pained look on her face, “but I like to believe he can.”

“There’s no definitive research that he can’t,” you tell her softly, carefully going about your work to avoid disturbing them.

“I hope he can hear the baby. He’s… he’s missed so much already, you know?” She sniffles, tears freely falling, and your heart clenches. “We’re broken without him; I’m broken without him. He’s my family, my everything. I can’t… we’re not supposed to be apart. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

You have thick skin. You’ve seen countless people die. Consoled hundreds of family members. Held hands with patients taking their last breath.

This shouldn’t bother you. It shouldn’t affect you in any way, but when you look at your patient, and his partner, and his child-

All you can see is your boys and their unconditional love. Simon sitting vigilant at Johnny’s bedside. Johnny’s tears when he finally woke up. The fear in Simon’s eyes when Johnny seized, the trust he placed in your promise to take care of him. Penny in his arms as soon as he was strong enough to hold her. Their resolve to hold their family together, their dedication to you through it all. The three of them, a family, now yours, spun together with string stronger than steel, connecting the four of you for the rest of your life.

You’ll make it through. You’ll all make it through. You have their love shining down on your face. The love strong enough to hold you tight, rock you through your nightmares, encourage you to grow, to be yourself, to let it all go.

And they have you. Your love. Something you never thought would exist again, fostered and enticed forward, magnified for them. For the first time, you’re able to give to someone, to comfort them, care for them the way they have for you, hold them tight through their pain, their fears. It’s never felt so…

right.

It’s not one plus one. It’s five. Five hearts, making a family.

You know, without a doubt, they’ll love this baby. They won’t leave your side. They’ll take care of you, they’ll nurture you both, they’ll be solid, and supportive, and patient through it all.

You don’t need them to say it, and you don’t need to be scared.

Their light soothing your despair, healing the deep embedded scars, their warmth of the sun-

The little sunbeam growing inside you.

“You’re a few weeks late.” The midwife shakes her head as you settle on the exam table. You showed up in a whirlwind again, convincing her to fit you in between appointments.

“I know, I… I was struggling with it, but I feel better now. I’m… ready.” Your lips quirk at the corners, and she smiles in return.

“Should we take a look then?” You nod with a deep breath.

The jelly is cold, and she purposefully keeps the screen turned away from you, clicking, measuring, assessing in silence. It's standard policy for any employee or medical professional. Though you're not an ultrasound tech, it's not outside the realm of possibility that you could read the image on the screen before she can tell you gently that something is wrong.

Your past haunts you, taunts you, convinces you this has all been for nothing. You’re too damaged for this. Your body is broken. He took too much.

Still, you hope. You cling to a future, a vision, Penny holding the baby with Johnny’s arms supporting her, Simon half asleep with a burp cloth on his shoulder, little one asleep on his chest.

“Alright,” she turns it back for you to see, her expression colored with kindness. “Everything looks great, honey.”

“Everything?”

“Yes. Placenta is in optimal position, and baby is right on track developmentally for twelve weeks.” She twists a knob, the volume, filling the room with sound of galloping hoofbeats.

The heartbeat.

“Oh my god.” Your hand clasps over your mouth and you desperately try to bring air in through your nose, filling your diaphragm, staving off a river of tears unsuccessfully. She hands you a tissue.

“I’ll get you some printouts, okay?” You can’t do anything but choke on a thank you.

You slip away after your appointment, crossing through the halls leading to the out-patient wing where you’ll find Johnny in physical therapy, Simon in a chair scrolling through his phone just outside. The smile stretches across your face naturally, joy bursting at the seams.  

It's a new day, a new moment to turn away from the darkness and step into the sun.

You’re nearly skipping, heart so full, overflowing with hope, with happiness, your hands trembling, pictures of the scan clutched in your fingers. You hold them so tight, close to your chest, afraid they may disappear, be lost.

In hindsight, the crippling agony and fear you’ve been holding in seems so foolish now. It’s easy to curse yourself for the doubt, for the despair, but the path you took to get here, to be present in this moment, moving forward, was worth it.

They love you, and they’ll love little sunbeam. Penny will be the best big sister. You’ll make new memories, together, build the beginning of this life into a forever. Everything will work out; you can feel it now. You’ve shed the dented armor, the walls, the fence topped with barbed wire. The girl in the mirror, gone. It’s all crumbled down. With Johnny. With Simon. Your family.

A family of five.

You round the corner with your hands knitted together, a flimsy effort to still them, elated and barely able to hold your secret in. You won’t be able to do a cute announcement, won’t be patient enough to do something special like get Penny a shirt that says, “best big sister” even though you’d like to.

You’ve kept it from them for long enough. You need them to know.

You look for Simon first, expecting him to be waiting outside the door, but when he's not there, you glance around, and then peek into the observation window to find the physical therapy room empty.

Where are they? Where-

They’re at the end of the hall, talking to someone out of sight. Simon has his arms crossed, his body angled partially in front of Johnny, who shifts his weight onto his good leg. They’re both wearing serious expressions, Simon’s the most severe, and then Johnny’s lips twist into a grim sort of smile.

Whoever they’re talking to steps forward, and your heart burns into ash, falling through the floor to bottomless depths of darkness.

Phillip.

[snekdood]

Its wild to me that theres probably people out there that think im someone who needs to be educated on misogyny n shit bc of whatever my ex says, as if "snake" the character wasnt intentionally a joke character- like mj picks on him ALL THE TIME for his dumb misogynistic beliefs n shit, and its literally always fucking been that way, lol

[pseudowho]

The Widow's Keeper

(help me find the Higuruma artist in the banner, for crediting and thanks/permission!)

Marrying again after losing your husband in Shibuya was never part of your plan. Then, Higuruma Hiromi came along.

Warnings: Character death, grief, angst, fluff

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A hysterical shriek-- a frantic cry for a man long dead-- rang through the bedroom, enveloped in the dark warmth of night, and broke down into anguished sobs. A soft shout of alarm, and hurried reassurances, sobs muffled, hands stroking, soothing, kisses on foreheads.

Hiromi held you to his chest, his pyjama top damp with your tears, his eyes gritty from sudden wakefulness. You cried away your grief, still so raw, replaying over and over in your dreams-- taunting you with 'what if's and 'if only's. Hiromi's nose nuzzled into your hair, both arms tightly holding you lest you fall apart against him, mumbling his sweet love in humid little breaths to your head.

It had been a while since you had dreamed of Nanami Kento, he pondered, rocking you gently from side-to-side. Dead and buried for almost 4 years now, Hiromi had married you and your trauma, your loss, your fallen love. He had taken you as the package you were, a complex parcel, and the mother of the second love of his life.

Little footsteps approached the door; little hands, cautious against the cool wood, pushed it open with a squeak.

"Mummy? Daddy? Is it a bad dream? You woke me up," grumbled your little girl, blonde and brown-eyed, with sharp delicate features. You sat up hurriedly, wiping your eyes and plastering on a damp smile. As you began moving to get out of bed, Hiromi laid a gentle hand on your thigh, kissing you on the temple.

"I'll take it from here," he hushed, and you sniffled, threatening tears again, "go back to sleep. I love you."

Planting a watery kiss to Hiromi's lips, you laid down in bed, burrowing your nose into his pillow, his smell, always feeling your adoration for him with the sting of guilt.

Hiromi scooted to the door, his loud shuffling footsteps pretending to be sneaky as he scooped his daughter up in his arms, nosing at her with deliberate snuffles. She giggled, batting him away, capturing his face in her little hands, slanted eyes narrow and delighted.

"Back to bed, little one. Your teddies can't sleep without you." Hiromi's playful bargaining wasn't needed, his daughter half-asleep in his arms already, while her arms wound around his neck to snuggle her head under his chin. By the time he had tucked her back into bed, she breathed soft snores, her bed still warm from the nest she had made.

Hiromi crouched by your daughter's bed, watching her, committing all of her features to memory; never this small, ever again, he thought, bittersweet as she grew, blooming. He stroked her hair, nursing the stale guilt of feeling he had stolen this life from another man, and feeling so deeply undeserving, so ashamed because of it.

While Hiromi knew his daughter-- your daughter, Kento's daughter-- more than Kento ever would, there felt to be an impenetrable wall to his love, an absence of a blood bond, stolen away from a man who did not want to leave his wife, and had not even known he was to become a father. Hiromi felt responsible, as if he had spirited you both away himself. He did not deserve to hold you through your grief; he did not deserve to be daddy.

Planting a last kiss to his daughter's forehead, a long-fingered hand stroking blond flicks out of her eyes, Hiromi tiptoed to the door. He hesitated for a moment, then tiptoed back. A brown teddy with its familiar, well-fiddled-with and far-too-large-for-teddies yellow leopard-spotted tie, belonged in his daughters' arms, and not on the floor.

Padding back to your bedroom, a thief in the night, the sheets played a gentle susurrus over your bodies as Hiromi tangled his legs through yours, lying on his back so you could tuck across his chest. You slipped a hand under his t-shirt, travelling up to his chest to stroke its patch of downy black hair. Hiromi's fingers tangled through your hair, examining the whorls of your ear, rolling your earlobe in thought.

"I'm so sorry," you hiccuped into Hiromi's chest, and you heaved with sobs when his reassurance began before you had even finished apologising, his arms tightening around you. He cupped your face in his hands, tilting it, look at me, come on darling, please, look at me.

Hiromi held your face, your cheeks squashed and blotchy with tears in his palms. He felt a trickle of disgust with himself run down his throat, as he stole his role as your hero from Kento, "None of that. You know you don't have to apologise for anything--"

"But I love him," you sobbed, voice cracking with devastated guilt, feeling like a filthy liar, a cheater, a bigamist, "I love him so much and I want him back, but I want you, Hiro, I-- I--" Hiromi nodded, still gazing into you, hooded dark eyes like little embers in the night. You felt a surge of appreciative, grateful love as he drank down your proclamations of love for another man, and wanted you anyway.

"If it were the other way round," Hiromi started, slow and deliberate, "if it were me who had died, and Kento loved you after...I would trust him completely to carry the torch for me. To give you two everything that I wouldn't be able to give."

You wept again, your face and chest aching, loss heavy in your soul. Hiromi kept you close, tethering you, repeating in a tender mantra; "You can love us both. You can love us both, because we both love you. You can love us both."

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"I...I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

Hiromi's words fell weakly, unanswered by the dead. Nanami Kento's grave was pristine under the hands of his many friends, his lover, his students, those he had saved. He was popular in death as he had been in life; not inundated with true friends, but awash with bannermen and admirers, those who aspired to be like him, and those who aspired to be liked by him. An admission of guilt writhed in Hiromi's chest, bursting out in one strained cry.

"I can't feel sad that you died," Hiromi spat, disgusted not with Kento, but with himself, "because if you hadn't died, I wouldn't have them, and I'm a real piece of shit--"

"No you're not," a friendly voice drawled to Hiromi's left. Hiromi froze, eyes wide and paralyzed, dread creeping through him that someone had heard his biggest shame--

"-- and Nanami wouldn't have thought so, either. I bet she was the last thing he thought about-- worrying about her, who would look after her. He'd be happy. For her to have a good man. Like you."

Ino Takuma leaned down beside Hiromi, speaking a brief prayer above Kento, a wrapped, spotted blunt blade harnessed onto his back. Placing some fresh flowers down, he stood up again.

Hiromi and Ino were silent together amongst the rustling willows, the smooth dappling sunlight, the whispering babble of the shallow river. Ino rocked on his heels, smiling, hands pocketed. Hiromi hung his head in shame.

"You can...you can feel both, Higuruma. Regret for him dying and leaving her, and...and loving her, I guess. You're not a bad person. I bet she beats herself up for marrying again, right?"

Hiromi swallowed, nodding quickly after a breath's pause. Images flitted across his mind-- you, resplendent in your gown. Your daughter, so solemn on her big day, scattering petals down the aisle. Your earnest kiss, your joyful dancing, your gracious speech. Your wedding night breakdown, holding you in a hot bath in innocent intimacy, folding your lingerie away in favour of a soft nightdress, nothing expected, nothing lost, in life and in death, in sickness and in health.

"You've just...you've just got to be his wingman, y'know?" Ino stated, arms crossed up behind his balaclava'd head, "You and Nanami...you're both her husband. You're both my niece's dad. So big him up a bit for us, huh?"

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"Hey, dad?"

Hiromi leaned round the fridge door, crows feet crinkling around his eyes as he popped a cube of cheese into his mouth, busted.

His daughter smirked at him, fine eyebrows raised under a smooth honey-blonde fringe. As tall as Hiromi, leggy and sarcastic, Hiromi didn't so much tell this young woman off now, as get savagely roasted by her dry wit. Hiromi took it with all of the frustrated joy of a father trying to parent a young woman with unparentably excellent traits.

"Cheese?" Hiromi offered, flicking a cube deftly at his daughter. She caught it, seamlessly, eyes narrowing at him. For all the bravado she was putting on, Hiromi knew she was putting it on. He headed over, pulling her to him with one arm, blonde head against black-grey head.

"Penny for them?"

She sighed, and began: "Did you...meet him?"

Him. Ah.

"I did not," Hiromi admitted, "but I know he was exceptional. Your mother has wonderful taste." He accepted the slap to his arm, well-deserved.

"I can never...I don't think I'll ever be as good as him." Hiromi's heart swelled and ached for his daughter; he felt an odd kinship, one of them in such a powerful shadow, one of them in such enormous shoes. Hiromi nodded, his throat thick.

"You're right," he said, his daughter's lips puckering up in grim acceptance, looking at the floor, "your dad was a hero. He protected the weak when nobody else wanted to. He took on the messy jobs with nothing more than a glass of whiskey and your mum's love behind him. He was funny, kind, patient, empathetic... he was the best of the best. The best sort of man. He's a legend even now."

"So, no, sweetheart, you're never going to be as good as him," Hiromi turned to his daughter, cupping her high-cheeked face in his hands, pressing her to look at him, "you're going to be better. You have all three of us in you, and you carry it so well."

Hiromi's daughter let out a dry sob, refusing to let tears fall. She sniffled, pulling close to Hiromi, letting herself be held. Rubbing her nose and pulling her hair behind one ear, she reached behind her onto a chair, revealing a black, rectangular handled case.

"Uncle Ino gave me something, today," she started, unclipping the case, "he said it was dad's. I thought I...I want to use it. Like he did."

Hiromi gazed fondly down at the blade of legends, white wrapping yellowed at the edges with age, but still just as deadly. He smiled, and your daughter relaxed into his wordless reassurance.

"Yes. Absolutely. It's the only...you're the only one who could do this old thing justice, now," Hiromi pressed, eager to hold Kento and his child together across the impenetrable veil of death, "but I have to warn you."

His daughter glanced to Hiromi, anxious. He took a deep breath, and continued;

"Your mother will cry when she sees this."

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A few tears slipped out while I wrote this.

[hadesisqueer]

Korra talking about her love life: Okay so I arrived at Republic City and befriended Mako and Bolin who were brothers. I liked Mako but Mako was dating this girl Asami and I ended up going out once with Bolin who really liked me but then Mako and I kissed in front of him and he got really upset but we all made up later and I let the whole thing with Mako. Then I ended up really getting along with Asami even though I started off jealous of her? She fought her dad for me and all. Anyway eventually Mako and Asami broke up and he and I got together. But after a while we kept arguing and arguing until one day he broke up with me. Then he kissed Asami while I was gone but I came back with memory loss and didn't even remember we'd broken up and he pretended we were still together until the end when I remember and we both broke up for good now because we didn't work. We remained good friends though. Anyway Asami and I became even closer friends and she was there for me at my lowest and at some point I started realizing I had feelings for her?? And I ended up dating her three years later.

Kyoshi: That's insane. In my case I was discovered late as the Avatar and I actually ended up working as servant for a while for the guy who was misidentified as the Avatar, a boy named Yun. I had a crush on him for a while and it was reciprocal but neither of us acted on it and the crush ended up fading —though I still cared deeply about him, of course—, partly because I subsconciously started crushing on Rangi, Yun's Fire Nation bodyguard? I didn't realize at first. But after I found out I was the real Avatar and this guy had my adoptive father killed —and I thought Yun was dead too—, I ran away from home and Rangi came with me and I ended up realizing I had feelings for her while we were running from the cops? Anyway we ended up getting together. I need to add that my adoptive father realized I was the Avatar because I randomly sang a poem that Kuruk had written for Hei-Ran, Rangi's mom. So I ended up dating the daughter of my past life's first love. Also I ended up having to kill my first crush after he almost killed her.

Aang:

Aang: I... met Katara and I fell in love with her?

[charlie-thewitch]

JiuYuan plot bunny

Shen Yuan transmigrates/reincarnates waay before the plot even begins, as a somewhat rich second or third son of a merchant family (cliché or clasic background? You decide) not specially sick nor a priority for his family as he's not likely to inherit almost anything he is send to cultivate to a small sect. Because who else will want their unremarkable son?

Turns out ranting about poetry in the street with a vendor is a sure way to make someone important want their unremarkable son.

Enter the current Lord of Qing Jing who saw a gremlin with taste and opinions and immediately wanted him. Also the immediate moment when Shen Yuan finds out where exactly he was reborn in (pray for him). So Shen Yuan gets to join directly into QJP if he passes the other test and well, the story wont go on if he doesn't so let's say he does.

His dumbass tries to make everyone believe he's lazy to avoid work like he did back home but Aha! Shizun is on his bs so in no time he's made head disciple. Natural teacher, excellent memory and talented swordsman (This nerd got too excited by swords and practiced so much he now is the best of his generation and he desperately wants you to know he didn't want for this to happen) it's like he was made to lead QJP!

Side note: LQG will be made head disciple of BZP in a year or so, that's why SY is the generation's best, currently.

Here comes the boy! Absolutely traumatized feral kitten Shen Jiu gets into CQM and QJP out of season and with his general attitude immediately gets enemies everywhere. Not problem! Da-Shixiong will show you around and- Oh? You don't want Da-Shixiong to speak with you? Alright. Just remember to get to dinner and sleep well, goodnight!

And just like that you get an oblivious Shen Yuan respecting a hesitantly curious Shen Jiu who, in turn, decides that the best thing to do with this interest is to find blackmail on SY and take his place as head disciple.

Cue shenanigans and hijinks with stalker SJ and unsuspecting SY. And them getting closer by basically respecting SJ's space and time and being a decent human?! What?!

So like bonding with a cat. Slow, respectfully and with lots and lots of treats. Once Shen Yuan figured out Shen Jiu's weakness is just sweets it's all over. Now hes SJ's shixiong and no one else's. No, shut up A-Yuan, they are not worth our time.

Does he trust SY unconditionally? He's getting there. Nighthunts and being saved like a damsel in distress once in a while helps, even if he gets hissy and pretends to not like it. More so when SY immediately turns to him for both counsel on investigations and to make sure he's safe while in the hunts. Also Shixiong spends almost all his time helping him in fixing his cultivation and teaching him the arts, even when no one else would give a shit, so he gets extra points by being a good boy to his A-Jiu.

Shen Yuan? He thinks he's being a good bro and helping SJ fix whatever made him such an ass in PIDW. He doesn't know what happened before SJ went to CQM nor his past as a slave, only thought he looked like a feral cat and acted accordingly. And yes, calling him A-Jiu is absolutely necessary to that recovery.

In the middle of this SY tries to make contact with TLJ to help him either run away with SXY or take out the OPM so the tragedy doesn't happend. But shit hits the fan and SY gets outed as a demon sympathizer when the sealing under a mountain still happens but he tries to reason with the CQM's sect leader that the demon was innocent.

No one can prove that he was a traitor but under the added presure of public sentiment he's punished severely. Sect leader gives him two choices; He either leaves and retrieves a mega ultra rare mcguffin that'll take him 20 years to get or gets banished immediately and losses any standing he has with the sect.

In simple terms: Prove your loyalty with this very difficult quest or leave.

As a pseudo-compromise sect leader promised no one will take his place if he leaves for the quest nor will they banish SJ for being so close to a posible traitor. SY, naturally, accepts the quest with all the spite and grief of someone who failed his true quest of saving his best friend and the world too he supposes.

But QJP cannot be without a Head disciple nor a Peak Lord! Because plot twist, the lords are preparing to ascend in the next like 5 years. Sect leader knew this, and this is his way to force QJ's peak lord to appoint a different head disciple when SY is away anyways. If that happens SY will lose everything anyways, even if he comes back.

So the strategists get together and make a plan.

Shen Yuan will leave in his quest but before that he'll marry someone trusted that can be acting peak lord in his absence but will not usurp his place. Doble plot twist! That person is Shen Jiu because just as SJ got mellower with SY's influence so did SY get more paranoid. He only trust his dear shidi and no one else but oh how could he force his shidi into- Oh? You'll do it? Why do i have to be the wif-

And they marry in semi secret, taking a small moment for SJ to make him doble promise to come back for him and to give his own doble promise to wait for his return. SJ doesn't like this, not one bit. But this time he's safe, in a position of power and tentatively ready to trust again. He'd rather have his husband with him at least for their wedding night but oh well, they don't get that. They make arrangements for SY to send letters to the WRP so SJ can know how he's doing even if he can't receive any in exchange. It'll be a lonely 20 years.

Shen Yuan leaves and Shen Jiu gets appointed acting head disciple and then acting peak lord. With his silks and his husband's name as a shield (Qingqiu is SY's, but he can use it because they married) he rules QJP much more detached than in PIDW, almost completely ignoring the disciples. This is his A-Yuan's work after all and if he wants it done he better hurry and come do it himself. They've always joked that SY would teach while SJ would govern the peak, even before ever discussing marriage (It didn't matter that A-Yuan didn't know they would eventually get married. They would have regardless)

And Yue Qingyuan you didn't ask? He's in the background wanting to talk to Xiao-Jiu constantly but SJ doesn't need him nor want him. SY's therapy helped him let go if not forgive YQY, he's at the point where he can just ignore him. YQY on the other hand is guiltily ecstatic SY is out of the picture and Xiao-Jiu can be peak lord and rule at his side. Just like he wanted!

Like that 15 years pass. SJ still gets a reputation of going to brothels even if its to read his hubby's letters and sleep. And at this point all other peak lords either forgot he's technically just acting peak lord or never knew there was another Shen-Shixiong who should be peak lord instead.

At this point I'm not sure how to proceed. It'll have to be either:

a) Shen Yuan comes back during the demon invasion or

b) He comes when they are having a peak lord meeting for conveniences sake

Let's do invasion for dramatic purposes.

So you have a supremely pissed off SJ dealing with the demons and watching as the runt of his peak desperately tries to beat his opponent while making a mockery out of their QJP fighting style (LBH is actually doing pretty good, SJ is just Like That™) when suddenly a sword only he recognizes flies faster than a bullet to stop the defeated demon from attacking the little beast and the whole place falls into silence. SJ can hear his pulse in his ears, he almost can't breathe.

The disciples are looking at him for instructions but he can't think of anything as the most beautiful face he has ever seen slowly walks out of the trees into the improvised arena. His hair is finally long now, but not even close to well cared for. His clothes dusty and well worn but not threadbare nor stained with ink like it usually was in their disciple days. His A-Yuan is glorious as he makes the demons run like the pathetic bugs they are.

LQG has come too but there's not more fighting to be had, only a couple reunited at last. SJ sends decorum through the window and yanks his A-Yuan into a long awaited kiss in front of basically every disciple and an enraged and flustered LQG (Man is having the weirdest awakening)

SY is surprised at first but quickly reciprocates, finally at peace with his feelings. Because guess what, 15 years of pinning + letters that slowly become romantic without the fear of retribution will do just fine for him to admit he fell in love with his husband at some point. He was scared shitless of SJ reaction to him coming back and it was only that promise what made him go home regardless. A-Jiu can hate him, but he is NOT breaking that promise. He even made it 5 years earlier, isn't he such a good husband?

Later in the emergency meating LQG is still screaming at them for shameless and inmoral and how could this be the first thing Shen Yuan does when he comes back when they could've just spared

And everyone else (minus YQY, SQH and the beast peak lord) are just like What? Who's this? And SY looks at YQY disapprovingly (He knows YQY covets his wife and purposely didn't tell them) and explains he's the QJ peak lord and SJ as his husband has been ruling QJ in his stead for the past 15 years. And yes, that's why SJ is sitting in his lap.

When the whole story comes out everyone is more surprised to know they are married than the fact SY made the last sect leader so angry he was basically given a suicide mission (Not even YQY knew that) but don't worry! He has absolutely no inclination of taking his A-Jiu's position away. He'd rather teach his little disciples and let his wife to berate their martial siblings as is his right (Someone said they'll be happy having SY instead of SJ in meetings from now on and He Did Not Like That) So they'll share the name Qingqiu as QJ has two peak lords from now on.

Now if they'll excuse them they have a wedding night to finally enjoy.

[dark-fics-4-you]

Number One Fan ch. IV

Dark!stepbro!Rafe Cameron x f!Reader (with a side of JJ Maybank x f!Reader)

Warnings: noncon (aka rape), incest (step siblings), forced sex, mentions of past noncon, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, unwanted creampie, violence, abduction, gaslighting, m!receiving masturbation, reader has some ptsd like symptoms from past noncon

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Sarah had been the first to call out the fact that you were acting differently. After all, the entire family was staying together over winter break and with no classes or extracurricular activities to take up anyone’s time, your absence was noticeable.

Despite all of your reassurances that you were okay, Sarah would not stop pressing you.

“It’s just that you’re holed up in your room basically 24/7, Y/N. I’m starting to get a little worried. All of us are actually, at dinner last night Rafe could not shut up about you.”

At the mention of your step brother’s name your stomach flipped, nerves flaring as you thought about him.

The party had happened a couple weeks ago, but that night had been heavy in your mind ever since. After Rafe confirmed that he hadn’t been in your room that night, you had tried to write it all off as some twisted dream, but the shadowy memories that had been coming back to you since were eating you alive.

Everything about it had felt so real. Each time you looked back on it, you seemed to remember another detail, another reason to question yourself and your step-brother.

Rafe had told you he hadn’t came into your room the next morning when you asked him about it, but the details weren’t adding up.

The entire situation didn’t sit right with you.

You wanted so badly to brush it all of, to assume it was just a bad dream, but you also didn’t want to think that your brain was capable of conjuring up a situation as nightmarish and nauseating as your step brother sneaking into your room and eating you out.

Another thing that you couldn’t get out of your mind was how drunk Rafe had been trying to get you that night. Not only that, but he had given you some coke, which was a rare occurrence. Any other time you had asked to try it, your older brother declined, telling you that he cared about you too much to risk you getting addicted.

The few times he had ever let you do a line was in the house, on a night no one was throwing a party, where you both knew it would be a safe environment. He had never let you do coke a party, much less offered it to you.

You hadn’t even thought to question it at the time, too intoxicated to think twice, but now you felt suspicious.

For the first time in your life, you were incredibly uncomfortable being around your older step brother.

Tannyhill was huge, but Rafe’s looming presence made it feel small.

Leaving your room became an anxiety inducing ordeal, you were never sure if you would bump into him and have to pretend like you weren’t reliving the sensation of his lips sliding over yours, the way his mouth felt wrapped around your clit, the feeling of his fingers pumping inside of your slick cunt, or how good it felt to come undone onto his fingers and tongue.

The worst was how much every one of his touches now set your skin on fire. Whereas before the party, you had never been one to shy away from displaying physical affection with your older brother, now the thought of it made a pit of dread grow in your stomach.

You were even more ashamed of the fact that you had even noticed yourself growing wet when Rafe was around.

Once, after his low voice reached your ears from behind and he wrapped his arms around waist, picking you up and spinning you around before setting you back down, your cheeks warmed and you squeezed your thighs together when you felt a hot warmth between your legs, quietly mumbling an excuse before running to your room, where you stayed the rest of the night in ashamed confusion.

Another time, after Rafe had noticed you watching TV on the living room couch, wearing one of your cute, little tennis dresses (that he had bought for you), he sat next to you and asked you to cuddle up to him, like you had so many times before. This time, when you climbed into his lap, you couldn’t focus on the show at all, instead praying that your step brother couldn’t feel your panties growing damp from the close proximity to him.

What you didn’t know was that Rafe had a good idea of why you were acting differently. He knew that you must have some memory of that night, and he had been getting immense enjoyment from your discomfort and squirming.

Although he did wish that you had remembered less so you would go on being the oblivious, sweet little sister he had gotten used to. Rafe didn’t like that you had withdrawn yourself from him so much.

Sarah cleared her throat in front of you with a nervous laugh, and you realized you had zoned out right in front of her for several seconds longer than was normal.

“I’m just still feeling really tired from the last semester still,” you lied, nervously looking down as you played with a strand of your hair.

Sarah raised an eyebrow doubtfully, before shaking her head and taking a step closer to you before wrapping her arms around you in a hug.

“I’m here for you, Y/N.” She whispered into your hair as she squeezed you a little tighter. “You know you can always talk to me about anything.”

Her words were kind, and you felt guilty for ignoring her for the past few weeks and thankful that she was offering some friendship.

“And Rafe too.” Sarah added as she stepped away from the hug, and your blood ran cold.

“I know he may act distant at times but he really loves you, Y/N.” She continued, unaware of the nausea growing in your gut. “He can’t shut up about how weird it is that you’ve been ignoring all of us. I think he misses you but doesn’t know how to tell you.”

“Um, yeah,” you managed. Your mouth felt so dry and you could feel your heartbeat picking up. Your ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton, but there was a high pitched ringing that was still forcing it’s way to the middle of your forehead.

“Anyways me, John B, and the rest of the Pogues were gonna go to the Wreck in half an hour, would you want to come along?” Sarah smiled at you and you felt excited about something for the first time in a while.

You hadn’t seen JJ since the party and you had been ignoring all of his calls, upset that he had skipped out on the party without saying anything to you.

Maybe if you met up with him and talked one-on-one, you could finally put this behind you and get back to the good relationship you had with JJ before.

You told Sarah yes and she lit up before telling you to get ready and going back into her room to pick her outfit out.

You turned away from her to walk back to own room when a noise from just down the hall caught your attention.

Your head swiveled to Rafe’s closed door and you heard a sound that sounded like your name from the inside.

Concerned for your brother, you walked to the door and knocked twice.

“Rafe? Are you okay?” You called out from the other side of the closed door and you heard a muffled, “fuck!” come from inside.

“Rafe?” You asked again, now somewhat more concerned.

“One second!” His voice sounded strained and you waited for several moments before he finally cracked his door. He was shirtless and only wearing boxers and you nervously averted your eyes away from his body.

“What, Y/N/N?”

“Oh, I thought I heard you say my name, I’m sorry.”

“Well I didn’t.”

You silently swallowed, nervous because Rafe was standing so close and towering over you.

“Um, Sarah and I are gonna go to the Wreck with the other Pogues soon, just thought I’d let you know.”

“Cool.” His blue eyes didn’t reveal anything, and you almost missed the way they flicked down and then up your body quickly. “Don’t have too much fun.”

You nervously laughed, assuming your older brother would join in, but he didn’t even crack a smile before he quickly shut his door in front of you.

Weird, you thought to yourself before turning back to walk to your room, trying not to dwell on it too much.

You picked out a simple, but cute dress. It was white with a mid thigh length skirt and a light green floral pattern. The thin straps revealed your shoulders and the cut was very flattering. You were sure Sarah and Kie would love it.

On the other side of Rafe’s door, he sat on his bed again, freeing his erection from the tight fabric of his boxers and grabbing his phone. He opened up the pic of you passed out at the party with your slick cunt on display for him, before wrapping his hand around his cock and finishing what you had just unknowingly interrupted.

When you arrived at the Wreck with Sarah, the Pogues were quick to rush out and hug you, happily filling you in on all the things you had missed. Although, you noticed that JJ had hung back and he was nervously looking at you from a safe distance. You also couldn’t help but spot the faded scar above his eye that you hadn’t seen before.

You were still upset with him, but it also hurt to see him looking so upset, knowing that it was only because you had been ignoring him.

Kie and John B were telling you an insane story about being chased by an alligator after the Twinkie got stuck in a swamp as you all walked inside and sat down at a table.

You were happily surprised when JJ sat across from you, shooting you a small smile, which you returned.

Your orders were taken pretty quickly, and you were happy that it felt like the group dynamics hadn’t faded at all in your absence, and they hadn’t changed now that you had returned.

Kie, John B, Sarah, and Pope had all gotten sucked into an argument over whether hot dogs were sandwiches or not, and you met JJ’s eyes for real for the first time since the party.

“So.. what happened?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you, Y/N, but you’ve been dodging all my calls.” JJ said exasperatedly, but not loudly enough to pull the other Pogues away from their riveting hot dog discourse.

You sighed, looking away before mumbling, “I was just really upset that you bailed on me. A-and I’ve been dealing with some other shit too.”

“I’m sorry,” JJ apologized empathetically. “It was never my intention to hurt you. I was at the party.”

At this admission, your eyebrows rose in surprise, “you were?”

“Yeah, and your brother’s meathead football teammates wouldn’t let me inside. Gave me this as a party favor,” he gestured to the small scar above his brow and you now noticed the mostly faded bruising on his eyelid.

“What the hell?” You asked in disbelief. “Why would they do that?”

“I dunno,” he shook his head. “They told me Rafe said no Pogues allowed, and they didn’t like it when I tried to sneak past them.”

JJ laughed, but you were frowning now.

Why would Rafe have gotten his friends to stop JJ from coming in after he had promised you that you could throw your own party that night?

“I tried to call you to explain, but you never picked up…” JJ sadly finished, trailing off as he twisted one of his rings.

“Shit JJ, I’m sorry. I was so angry with you, I just assumed that you hadn’t come to the party at all.”

A french fry flew across the air and lightly wacked into your face, surprising you and causing the other side of the table to burst into laughter before you and JJ joined as well.

“Are you two lovebirds gonna talk to us at all?” Kie laughed, and you and JJ both blushed and exchanged grins before turning your attention back to the group.

The rest of the night went well. The awkwardness between you and JJ had mostly faded, and was now replaced with a new excitement at the idea that perhaps you and JJ could still continue your relationship.

After paying the bill, you all walked out into the parking lot, still laughing and joking around.

You began your goodbyes, hugging all of your friends before getting to JJ last. Sarah got the hint from your pointed glance that you’d prefer if she stayed in the car for a second so you could talk to JJ.

As the rest of your friends got in their cars and drove off, the two of you smiled at each other before embracing and you laughed when JJ picked you up and spun you around.

He had pulled you in to hug you again after setting you on your feet when all of the sudden, he was violently ripped away from you, causing you to almost lose your balance.

You heard the gasp from JJ as you lurched forward and your eyes widened at the sight of Rafe releasing JJ before punching him across the jaw, and knocking him to the ground.

“Rafe!” You screamed at him in terror and confusion, but he just ignored you.

“Are you trying to fuck my little sister? Huh, Maybank?” Rafe screamed at JJ, and you couldn’t stop the tears that were streaming down your face as you watched him punch JJ again.

Your pulse was racing in your ears as you helplessly watched, too shocked and frozen in place to intervene.

At this point, Sarah had noticed what was happening and ran from her car, yelling at Rafe to stop. When she rushed over to them, desperately trying to pull Rafe off of JJ, Rafe roughly shoved her to the ground.

“Stay the fuck out of it, Sarah!” He spat at her angrily.

While he was momentarily distracted with Sarah, JJ swung at him, his fist connecting with Rafe’s cheek this time.

“Don’t push her like that!” JJ yelled as you rushed over to Sarah to help her off of the ground.

“Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she gasped as you pulled her to her feet and stepped away from Rafe and JJ, watching as the two stared each other down with hate filled eyes.

JJ faked left before going right, but Rafe quickly ran at him, tackling the other blond to the ground and landing multiple blows on his face.

You and Sarah were screaming again, and this time, you were the one to try to pull Rafe away.

With all of your strength, you ran at Rafe, knocking him off of JJ and onto his side beneath you, but he recovered faster than you, and you whimpered when his hand closed tightly around your wrist and you were pulled to your feet.

Rafe had given up on attacking JJ now; his only objective was to get you away from Sarah and that Pogue scum.

“What are you doing, Rafe??” Sarah yelled at him as she rushed over to JJ to check on him, torn between staying by his side and running over to help you.

“Sarah!” You yelped as he tugged you further away from her and towards his parked truck.

“We’re gonna go for a little drive. We’ll be back later.” Rafe yelled over his shoulder at Sarah before he opened his car door and shoved you inside, quickly locking the door before you could escape and walking to the driver’s side door.

He unlocked it, climbing inside and relocking the doors quicker than you could open yours and you slammed on the window in frustration before glaring at him.

As he sped out of the parking lot, you looked back to see Sarah kneeling over JJ in tears.

“Where the fuck are you taking me?” You demanded, anger evident in your voice.

Rafe was silent, his blue eyes locked on the road as he tore through the back

“Turn the fuck around and take me back now! What is wrong with you?!” You hissed, wiping away more tears that wouldn’t stop falling.

“No.” He responded, irritation growing on his face.

Frustration and anger festered inside of you as you glared at your step brother before turning your head to watch the trees fly past you as Rafe accelerated.

“You missed the turn for our house, idiot.”

“We’re not going back to the house until you calm down,” his tone was hard and demeaning, like he was talking down to a child.

“You’re the one who needs to calm down, Rafe!” You snapped at him and he rolled his eyes. “You could have killed him!”

Rafe laughed at that, but it completely lacked humor, “JJ’s been getting too close to you recently, Y/N. I told you he’s not good enough for you.”

“So that warranted you beating his face in?!”

Rafe made a sharp turn, driving towards the docks and parking the truck without a word.

The sky had begun growing dark, the last rays of crimson still stained the horizon as the sun dipped below the ocean waves.

The docks were quiet and, unusually, there seemed to be no one walking around this night.

You defiantly sat in place as Rafe opened his door and got out, coming over to your side and opening the door expectantly.

When you made no moves to exit, Rafe grabbed you, pulling you out of the car before he threw you over his shoulder, slammed the door and started walking to the docks.

At first you were too stunned to fight back, but as he continued carrying you, you began yelling at him again and beating on his back with your fists.

“Let go of me!! Put me down, Rafe! Stop it!!”

Your screams fell on deaf ears, and if there was anyone on the docks hearing the commotion, they had chosen to mind their own business and not get involved.

You couldn’t squirm out of his grasp no matter how hard you tried, and your eyes widened when his yacht finally came into view.

All of your arguing and squirming was ignored as he climbed aboard, carrying you with him.

Rafe brought you to the room below deck, throwing you onto the bed and then quickly leaving, locking the door from the outside behind him.

You helplessly grabbed at the doorknob, twisting it to no avail as you banged on the door with your fist.

“Let me out!!!” You screamed at him, straining your vocal chords in your anger.

“Rafe!!”

You heard the sound of the boat engine turn on and a chill ran down your spine as you realized the boat was moving away from the docks.

“What are you doing Rafe?!?!”

You got no response for five minutes despite your continued yelling, the entire time the boat was heading god knows where.

Just when you had given up hope that he was coming back and beginning to believe that Rafe was planning on taking you for an extended boat ride, you were surprised when you heard the motor stop and felt the anchor go down.

You heard Rafe’s footsteps on the stairs and you angrily glared at him as he walked into the room and then locked the door behind him.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing? What is wrong with you??” You shouted at your older step brother.

“JJ told me that you had your friends jump him when he tried to come to the party!” You revealed. “Is that true!”

“Yeah it is,” Rafe responded nonchalantly. “I don’t like you hanging out with scum like him. I’m just looking out for you.”

“You never butt into Sarah’s relationship with John B, he’s a Pogue too!”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“It just is, Y/N! I don’t particularly like that Sarah’s dating John B, but I know that JJ is a bad guy! He’s gonna get you roped into bad shit, and mess up the future that you have ahead of you!”

Rafe’s words were only pissing you off more and the horrible nagging feeling that you had at the back of your brain made you say something you immediately wished you could take back.

“Did you come into my room the night of the party, Rafe?!”

“Yes!” He shouted, and you felt all of the oxygen leave the room.

The silence lingered for several moments and you could hear your blood rushing in your ears. You were so shocked you could only stare at him in disbelief.

“I came into your room that night, and that wasn’t even the first time.” Rafe’s lips curled into a sickeningly smug grin as he took in the shocked expression written all over your face.

A horrible wave of nausea passed over you as you realized the implications of his words.

Your step brother had just admitted to not only fingering you and eating you out at the party, but also to touching you other times you couldn’t even remember.

Your ears were ringing as you looked at him in shock and disgust, tunnel vision blocking out the rest of the room as you numbly watched his lips moving soundlessly.

Rafe reached for your hand and you jerked away from him, panic beginning to set in as you failed to catch your breath.

Your entire view of your step brother was being shattered as you tried to come to terms with the impossible facts that were literally staring you right in front of your face.

“I love you so much, Y/N. Everything I do has always been for you, please you have to believe me.”

You tried to stand up and get past him, desperate to leave the cramped space of the cabin, but Rafe easily grabbed you and threw you back onto the bed, climbing on top of you as you struggled beneath him.

“Get the fuck off of me, Rafe!! Please!” You screamed, begging him as he roughly grabbed your wrist and pinned it to the bed.

You had never been more terrified of your brother than in this moment. His horrible confession had changed everything.

You always knew that Rafe was strong. How could you not? He was always bragging about how much he could lift at the gym to you and bringing you along to show off. It was impossible to miss his muscles straining the fabric of his shirts when you had seen him lifting things around the house or working on his truck.

But you had never been at the mercy of Rafe’s strength until now.

You whined when he painfully twisted your wrist, and he shifted on top of you, nudging your legs apart with his knee and grinding his now obvious hard on against your clothed pussy.

A shameful, disgust settled within you when you could feel your panties growing damp with unwanted arousal.

You squirmed in his grasp, back arching as you tried to pull away. Fear gripped your throat as you looked up at Rafe in heartbroken confusion, your eyes growing blurry with tears.

“You’ve always been such a good little sister, Y/N/N.” Rafe whispered, and you let out a gasp when he shifted his hips, his clothed tip pressed to your clit, making you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Don’t you remember how good I made you feel at the party?” He groaned and you shook your head in denial.

“No, Rafe-”

“I could make you feel even better than that, Y/N.” You felt him shift again, and you tilted your head to watch him begin unzipping his shorts and removing them.

Again you felt horror and nausea rise inside of you as you saw what was coming towards you, and you were utterly powerless to stop it.

“Rafe!” You sobbed pathetically, grabbing at the hand that was clamped around your other wrist and scratching at him. “Please don’t do this. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

You didn’t even see his hand fly out, but you heard the slap before you felt it. Your head whipped to the side and the ringing in your ears returned as your fight was quickly sapped from your body. Your cheek felt like it was on fire from the strength behind his ringed hand.

“I really wanted to make this special for you, Y/N.” Rafe managed between gritted teeth, his grip around your wrist tightening. “But you’re making that really difficult for me when you’re acting like such a fucking brat.”

You were still too stunned to react, your eyes squeezed shut in pain as you lay limply on the bed.

The feeling of Rafe’s hand trailing beneath your dress and between your legs set a blaze across your skin. His fingertips ghosted over the edges of your pretty, lacy panties, making you shiver.

When Rafe grabbed them and started tugging them down your legs, you snapped your legs shut in an attempt to stop him, but when he glared at you and quickly reared his arm back as if he was going to slap you again, you quickly opened them to allow him to slide your panties off.

“Take this off.” He ordered you, gesturing to your dress and you swallowed dryly, knowing that there was no way to avoid doing exactly what he wanted.

Rafe let go of your bruised wrist to allow you to remove the last barrier of clothing you had on.

His eyes hungrily raked over your now completely exposed body. He had seen you naked before the other times when he had snuck into your room, but the anticipation of what was to come made you seem even more gorgeous than before, if that was even possible.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he whispered breathlessly, but his compliment only made you feel more disgusted.

He pulled his boxers off and you looked away, too embarrassed to look at your step brother naked.

A hand clamped on your chin, turning your head and forcing you too look at him.

His cock was long and thick, and when your eyes widened at the size, Rafe chuckled.

“I’ll make it fit, Y/N/N,” he drawled, climbing between your legs again and positioning himself between them.

You tensed when you felt him rub his tip up and down your soaked slit, teasing your clit a bit and you squirmed beneath him.

Rafe looked between your legs as he slowly began sliding the tip of his cock inside of you.

“Wait, Rafe!” You whined, you hands grabbing at his shoulders to push him off.

He wordlessly grabbed your wrists, easily pinning them to the bed and using the new position to push himself deeper, stretching your cunt out more with each inch.

“Fuck,” he groaned as your tight, warm pussy squeezed around his cock.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks now as your older step brother pinned you to the bed and slowly forced himself deeper inside you.

The pressure between your legs was immense, and you had never felt so full in your life.

He bottomed out, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix, and his arms trembled slightly above you as he sucked in a shaky breath.

“God, I’m so fucking lucky my lil sis saved herself for me.”

Rafe’s words made your stomach churn, but before you could linger on them long, his lips smothered yours, and sickeningly, you realized that you recognized the feeling from the night of the party when you thought you had been kissing JJ.

You turned your head away from him to break the kiss, but his firm hand brought you back and held you in place as his lips slid over yours.

When he tilted his hips back and then slowly started push his cock back into you, you gasped into the kiss, letting his tongue to push its way into your mouth.

Rafe thrusted into you faster, picking up his pace as he finally broke the kiss and allowed you to gasp for air.

Your trembling legs wrapped around his back as you tried to steady yourself from the rocking of the bed and the feel of his length dragging along your walls.

To your embarrassment, you could feel his cock begin to slide into you easier as you grew slicker around him, but that didn’t alleviate how much he was stretching you out.

“JJ could never make you feel this good, Y/N. He doesn’t know you like I do, doesn’t know your body like I do.”

At the mention of JJ, you cried harder, tensing around him and squeezing his cock so hard he groaned.

Rafe’s lips captured yours again, hungrily kissing you as he plunged himself into you harder now.

When he pulled away, he stared into your eyes for several moments, watching your eyelids fluttering shut as you tried to keep your focus on your older step brother as his thrusts rocked your body again and again.

“Tell me you love me.”

Your cunt squeezed around him at his words, a horrible mixture of emotions flooding your body. He was one of your best friends, your older brother. You had loved him for so many years, and horribly, you still loved him right now, even as he betrayed your trust in the most violent way imaginable.

You felt so confused, not just about his actions, but now also about your body’s reaction to him forcing himself onto you.

“Y/N,” Rafe warned, his punishing thrusts bringing you back to the present. “Tell me you love me.”

“I-” you were cut off by a moan when Rafe’s fingers circled your tender clit. It was nearly impossible to think straight right now, much less form a sentence.

You swallowed, before quietly whimpering, “I love you.”

His fingers twitched against your clit, his cock was repeatedly hitting a spot that was making your head swim and vision blur. Each masterful motion of his fingers was building inside of you, pulling you closer to the brink, even though you were trying to fight the inevitable.

“I can’t fucking hear you,” Rafe growled, his pace growing downright punishing.

You were pushed over the edge suddenly, and you closed your eyes and loudly whined as you came around him. “I love you, Rafe!”

You could practically see his cocky grin as you gave him exactly what he wanted, even though your eyes were still squeezed shut as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“Fuck, baby. So tight,” Rafe groaned, still drilling into you. “Been waiting so long for this and you feel even better than I could’ve dreamed.”

Rafe’s pace stuttered and he pushed himself deep inside you, his fingertips gripping into your thighs tightly as he came, spilling his sticky cum deep inside you as you squirmed beneath him, begging him to pull out through tears.

“Rafe, please, I��m not on any birth control,” you sobbed.

He cupped your chin, roughly tugging you in to a messy kiss as he ignored your pleading.

When he finally pulled away he looked down at you dreamily, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I really do have the best sister ever, huh?”