#pretend like they're not related

[shimmerandfists]

Modern Au ViJinx thoughts:

Jinx exists in this universe as opposed to Powder but she's really a truer mix of the two than a direct 1:1 with Arcane's Jinx. She's closer to how Jinx was with Isha I think, still mentally ill but for the most part present and healthy, she has the tools to manage her symptoms for the most part.

She's been on the path of independence for a couple years now and at 19 she's antsy to move out of Vanders place. She's been relying less and less on Vi, Vander and Silco (everyone is alive at this point) as she gets older to the point she's making enough of her own money to save and buy things.

She doesn't have any real job of any kind but she's found under-the-table fix-it jobs for whoever needs it and pays the most. Unfortunately that usually ends up being shadier individuals, and has gotten her in trouble a couple times. She still hangs out with Ekko when they can. She helps him out with his college projects, even if it's his not-so-subtle way of trying to get her interested in going to college with him.

Vi is 23-24 (both the ages they are in the show) and has long since moved out. She's worked her way through an apprenticeship at a mechanics shop and has pretty steady work and income because of it. She tries her hardest to keep up her relationship with Jinx and drops just about everything to make time and space for her. Jinx hasn't asked for any of that in at least a year or two now. She keeps offering up her spare room to Jinx when she moves out but she hasn't gotten a solid answer from her yet.

Nobody has any clue what she does except for Vi, who bailed her out of jail the first and only time she got arrested. It may have been from a DUI she got for a party one of her clients invited her to when she first started working. She's the only one she would ever call if she needed anything at this point in her life even if she doesn't know how to talk with Vi like she used to.

She has her recently realized feelings for her older sister as well, she never really noticed them at all until Vi had moved out. Powder at the time was 15 and Vi was 20. Jinx didn't fully notice WHAT they were until she turned 17 and by then the space and time had changed their relationship. No matter how hard they both tried to keep it up, the fact was they both matured into different people they didn't fully recognize anymore. Neither think it's a bad thing, only that it's different and they don't know each other as well as they feel they used to.

With Vi living on her own and working a full time job, and with Jinx growing up and out into the world, it seemed inevitable. With more steady job leads popping up in the area where Vi had moved to, Jinx is starting to consider her sisters offer a little more seriously about the apartment room. Ultimately, she'd decide to get her own place but not too far away. Luck would have it that there was an apartment opening up in the same complex Vi was living at, a couple units down.

Vi is ecstatic about this and Jinx can't contain her enthusiasm either. The thought of spending time with each other was what both of them needed, they had really missed the other and there isn't anything like spending time in person to regrow lost connections. Vi was a little hurt at first Jinx declined her offer again but with how things worked out she doesn't hold on to that, and Jinx gets her own space while still being within bothering distance of Vi. They spend a stupid amount of their free time with each other, slotting back into each other's lives as if no time had passed at all.

That's about as far as I'm getting tonight but I'd love to explore this a little bit more later. With the flavor and depth and less of the foundation building. Like a detailed scene of Jinx' jail fiasco or some moments between the two when Jinx still lives at Vanders and Vi is in her own apartment. Future moments of them living in the apartment complex together, figuring out that in the process of getting to know each other again after that much time apart, they don't just love each other anymore. To both of their frustration, they're falling IN love with each other, and definitely in lust with each other.

Inspired by this edit: Flashing, Volume Warning

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

Viridian City seems fun

[muffinlance]

druk gets into zukos coffee supply

"Uncle."

Uncle raised his tea cup to his lips.

"Uncle, how did he get in."

Uncle took the most delicate of sips.

"Uncle I am not turning another storeroom into tea storage."

"How unfortunate to waste the space," said Uncle. "After all, it is quite hard to keep a dragon out once they have acquired the taste!"

"Uncle."

[finalgirlgretchen]

if one more person tries to claim that the oh hellos are no longer christian i am going to lose my shit

[bumblingbabooshka]

People who act like Seven of Nine is a naive child being taken advantage of when it comes to c/7 but not j/7 hmm...examine that.

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think

[myreia]

✦ D I S C I P L E O F T H E H A N D

Alchemy for potions. Blacksmithing for repairs. Leatherworking and weaving for mending. She is not an artisan, but the basic skills she has picked up over the years have served her well. Self-sufficiency has always been at the forefront of her mind, and she is pleased that she can keep herself afloat when needed. Besides, crafting is relaxing. A hobby or two here and there is good for her mind. —level 90 compendium

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[brick-van-dyke]

If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.

While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.

I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.

[mydearchoso]

why does fell on black days by soundgarden sound SO much like choso...

not the singing or the lyrics or anything, but if he had a back track play whenever he walked into a room, it would be that...

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[queervegancryptid]

Spent the morning rage-crying about shit. Now I have to go gently break up with a doctor so as not to burn bridges in this bitch-ass medical desert I somehow live in despite being in the largest city in the country by land mass.

I have to find a nice way to tell them, "I appreciate your help, but I haven't made any progress in the year I've been coming here. I've been put in touch with a doctor who seems like a better fit at a practice that has people who may actually be able to help me. I have to switch, because you don't seem too inclined to actually help me."

It'll be a challenge to stop myself from adding something like the following: "Billing my insurance 3-4 times a month is what you want. You don't actually care about me. I'm tired of waiting for you to do something useful. I'm tired of wasting my time on someone who won't do their job, which is literally to help me."

I'm really done playing with this shit. I'm done with people blowing me off and then having to pretend I'm fine with it.

I know the world is literally on fire and there's genocides and my country may be about to become a/an (c)overtly fascist dictatorship slash oligarchy. I know all of that matters a lot more than me.

I just wish I felt like I mattered at all. The way people treat me, it doesn't feel that way. It feels like I'm going to slowly, silently die in the next year or two if I don't change something. I'm between a rock and a crazy place, and I don't want to do it anymore. It's not fucking fair.

It's just not fucking fair.

[the-casbah-way]

TW for discussion of rape and sexual abuse

can't believe i'm getting involved in fucking hazbin hotel drama of all things but this is making me so fucking angry. this is what someone has said about the song 'poison' where angel dust explains his unhealthy relationship with his abuser and oh my god. when people (rightfully or otherwise) hate a show this badly their media literacy and critical thinking skills go out the fucking window. who fucking says this? why are you speaking on behalf of everyone who has gone through the same things as angel? why are you the fucking spokesperson for us? why are you so special? can you not hear the way you're talking? how arrogant and entitled and fucking out of touch you sound? i don't talk about this anywhere but i have been through EVERYTHING angel has been through. i have experienced heavy drug addiction and rape and sexual abuse. you don't fucking speak for me. it sounds so insanely cringe but angel is one of the first characters i have seen react to his situation EXACTLY as i did. i DID sexualise and romanticise my circumstances. i DID lean into the lifestyle. but the whole point of angel's character, a point which angel himself explicitly states in this same episode, is that he KNOWS this is all an act. he's using sex as a form of self harm and weaponising his sexuality in order to help himself dissociate from his life and his own body because he's deeply miserable. the person who made this tweet does say one thing in their thread that is correct: angel IS acting like he's having a fun time and he IS acting like he wants this. if you think this is sexualising and romanticising his abuse, then congratulations, you fell for his act just like everyone around me did when i went through the same thing. you wanted him to be anxious and quiet and trembling and crying in the corner, cowering before his abuser and refusing to talk about it. do abuse victims have to react to their abuse the way YOU see fit, otherwise they aren't valid? did you watch the scene directly before this song, where angel's abuser hits him and throws him across the room in a scene designed to make the viewer viscerally uncomfortable and just as scared of angel's abuser as he is? did you watch the scene that follows, when angel breaks down and explains that he's deliberately indulging in this lifestyle in order to damage his body to the point where his abuser will no longer see value in it and leave him alone? i would bet all my money that you didn't, because half the people criticising this haven't even watched the show but think they're qualified to make entire threads deliberately misinterpreting it purely because they're already decided they hate hazbin. and look. you can hate hazbin. in fact i completely understand why someone would, for a number of reasons. there's a mountain of things i dislike about it too. but to talk about a topic this sensitive and heavy when you haven't even fully watched the source material you're criticising? you're not only making yourself look like a misinformed entitled prick, but you're speaking over and judging every single person who DOES relate to angel's story, because yes, believe it or not, other people are allowed to experience things differently to you. and whether you're willing to get off your moral high horse and deem them worthy of value and representation or not, you cannot change that. if you want to criticise this show pick one of the million valid points of contention, rather than acting like you're smarter than everyone else and get to speak on behalf of an entire group of people

[guinevereslancelot]

kinda surreal to watch my friends who are younger than me getting married and having kids meanwhile i haven't ever been in love

[the-acid-pear]

Coincidentally "ohh doggy!" Is the same thing that comes to mind spotting you out in the wild of my dashboard

Don't have any fucking doggy reaction pics only kitty cat and horsey so have this crude edit. Wags my tail at this ^_^ correct reaction too. If you catch me around you gotta do a Tommy Wiseau and hit me with the oh hi doggy!. It's the morally correct choice.

[tenok]

The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.

And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.

1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)

2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)

3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.

So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)

Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!