#prepare for the queue to start going
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I FINALLY WATCHED MP100 SEASON 3
#i was waiting to watch it with my sister and we finally were able to watch it together#prepare for the queue to start going#cuz i'm gunna start filling it#and now i wanna reread the manga#i haven't read it since after i finished season 1#which was like. a couple of years before season 2 came out#god mp100 really was what got me to start reading manga. loved it so much i couldn't wait for another season
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oop finally got to play the beta story update, gonna ramble in tags (will have spoilers)
#not abt the update part but I played it with a friend and when unmei woke up in the hospital she was like “hey right like in your fic” and-#I lost it#but. but!! there was so much more new stuff than I thought there would be!!#love how we learned more about kisoji (and damn I love him being a trickster type player)#and the team bonding starting up... sakurazaki showing his soft side.. unmei getting more expressions.... love it#we kept joking abt unmei not telling kisoji that oh right if I train too I#might die whoopsie but that could actually be a cool plot point if it comes up like..... in a situation where it would had been good to-#know beforehand. or something#love how sakurazaki just kept watching unmei kicking around and deciding that it was just an Unmei Thing#I really really hope raika is the mastermind behind the kraken whatever thing.. am I reading it too wrong if it seems to point that way?#but yea finally I can go check the sakka tags again#hopefully I'll get to doodle something soon.. been a bit busy (but luckily prepared a queue beforehand so it probs doesn't seem like that :>#ok I think that's it#OH YEAH cat petting is the most important update yea#ignore me ok
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You alive here have some, 🍫🥛
i am alive ! thank you very much for your kind offering.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [sweethearts]#missed yesterdays upload cause ngl. going through it. i’m about to start university !#i thought my queue would last longer (i. e. i can’t do math) so i didn’t have anything prepared oopsies#but i am in fact alive ! yippeee
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REALEASE THE DORM EXPLORATION VIDEO FOR P3RE ATLUS! LET ME DOWN ONE MORE TIME!😤😤😤😤
#silly talks#me: *counting the number of doors on each floor cause i am not well*#I'll start posting again soon (outside my queue)#in the middle of getting used to a new routine TT0TT (aka waking up at 5 am ;w;)#(it's hell cause i go to bed at like midnight and i can't fall asleep right away)#and apparently my 2nd/part time job is working on a skeleton crew so.....gonna have to balance that in my new routine too TT0TT#i don't think i'll be mentally prepared when I see the doors are aligned like P3P rather than vanilla/fes#imma bsod if that happens i wont be able to process anythign akdsjlsjfa#dont give me hope like that no no no~! don't give me hope like that no no no~!#lol what if Atlus states that there's a special basement we can't get into too? haha that'd be so crazy it'd be very Met-....a ver meta#haha what if there's a rumor that the basement only opens at the end of march that'd be crazy right?#(the slow descent of Silly's madness frontstage for the world to see ajklfdjsaf)#(this isn't me holding out for hope.....I'm just listing some things atlus can do to break me TT0TT)
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I come back and I see Tumblr has yet again made changes...So I guess I will just have to see how these changes work. But yes, I'm coming off of semi-hiatus. I'm still working on the musical but I should have more time to get to things. That being said, I'm still going queue up a large portion of replies. We're getting into the part of the year when a lot of games I've been looking forward to (like FFXVI) are coming out. Just having a queue going will help put me at ease when some nights I may just want to focus on my progression in these games or do a gaming date night with my bf.
#geek speak 🦅 mun post#[going start to throw stuff together to get the queue started]#[i may focus a bit more on enji just because he doesn't have that much prepared]
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Hi dear donors ! ❤️
I would like to extend my thank and gratitude for the support you have been offering over the last eleven months. ❤️☺️
My family and I have been suffering and going through the hardest days we have ever experienced in our life . Things are very hard to get and and sometimes unattainable.😭😓
Our sufferings and hardship started on the first days of the war when all our possessions were completely destroyed and burned. We have become displaced and homeless , finding ourselves in a small tent in streets with no means of life. We lack every single necessary thing of life; food, water, hygiene essentials, and other necessities have become scarce and rare.
A photo taken to show how incredibly harsh our life has become after the war. We are struggling and facing lots of barriers to obtain the simplest necessities for living. Everything single thing is a complete story.
You can't imagine what difficulties we have been going through all these days of war. No cooking gas , nor cooking tools exist . We struggle to prepare a small meal of food.
No bakeries are available. Everything seems a miracle and unbelievable.😭 The war has stolen our joy and smile, leaving us busy thinking only of staying safe and alive. Our future has gone with the wind and our kids lost their dreams and ambitions.
This is a part of burying the dead. We also face some problems in the process of buying our dead people as no place is there for the family. Tombs aren't enough for the number of people living on a small spot of land.
A photo taken for the morning queue of filling our gallons with drink water. We wait hours to get some water for drink. Our life is full of tragedy and sadness.
Our sufferings and hardship started on the first days of the war when all our possessions were completely destroyed and burned. We have become displaced and homeless , finding ourselves in a small tent in streets with no means of life. We lack every single necessary thing of life; food, water, hygiene essentials, and other necessities have become scarce and rare.
A photo taken to show how incredibly harsh our life has become after the war. We are struggling and facing lots of barriers to obtain the simplest necessities for living. Everything single thing is a complete story.
So I am asking you generous donors to help me find safety and stability for my family through your generous donations whatever you can or through your shares of my messages and reposting them to help reach the ultimate goal sooner.
Yours.
YOURS
#el shab hussein#nabulsi#sar soor#90 ghost#ibtisams#free gaza#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#gaza#gaza strip#free palestine#politics#save palestine
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 12/09✨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@snsp6 I really hope that this won’t change MK’s view on his bio dads :( Anonimo Hello! Wanted to ask or more so I am wondering, will MK start seeing Wukong differently after finding out he literally killed Mac and even after seeing their past and how close they were, dam the trauma, anyhoo I love your art and the Shadowpeach bio parent au! Keep up the great work! >:D
Oh it will. (In a good way? a Bad? that's for me to know and for you to wait a week to know)
@hopefulbelievertimemachine Imagine if MK found someone who recently found out that they were a demon and he comforts them cuz he had a similar experience.
Oh that would be sooo wholesome!!! It's one of my fav trope when there's another character who go throught the same exact thing as another character and the two of them bond over this.
@zammy357 Hello, hope your day/night is going well. I wanted to ask since me and a friend like your bio parents blog and wanted to know if we can use it for an arc? Our blog is called @amnesia-wukong-au. We wanted to ask before we started doing it.
Hi!! Yeah sure as long you tag me and the masterpost of the shadowpeach au
Anonimo Wait what is a glamour (in context of Sun Wukong and Macaque)
A glamour is a magic spell that changes/cover your appearance. Like in the show macaque should technically have 6 ears. for animation purposi I guess they are not drawing all of them, but we say he uses a glamour also for covering his scarred eye.
@clueless-simp ha chiesto: What if PIF, BDK, Sun Wukong, and Macaque (and most definitely Mei) did a "parent trap" tactic to get MK and Red Son together? Setting things up, getting them alone together, pretending they are all busy, and the only option is for them to spend time together under the sunset XD XD XD
Oh no that would end bad. like-comically bad.
@honeylavender27 ha chiesto: Imagine red realizing mk doesn't know about court napping and just invites him over one day. Red son: so I'm sure your wondering why I invited you here.. Mk: yeah it's kinda weird you didn't want Mei to come. Is everything ok? Red: perfect actually, I'll explain everything just enter here first please. Mk: oh ok -walks into the prepared courtnapping room and gets locked in-.....uh red? Redson: consider yourself courtnapped...
Ahah poor MK. I think they would make a disastrous courtnapping that would be the equivalent of the phrase "task failed succesfully"
@artgurusauce ha chiesto: ARGGGHHHH, they're SO CUTE! I love your bioparent AU so much! Altho I am wondering: When MK turns back to normal would he retain some subconscious paternal attachment to our ol boys here? Maybe he even calls Macaque "Mom" without realizing it...
@blazerratbluefire-blog ha chiesto: Plot twist of the century for the oblivious monkey men. MK remembers ~everything~ when he was a cub! I'm not sure if that is what is planned, but! It would be really funny! Especially if he just calls Macaque 'Mama' all casual and just walks away. While Macaque EXP. has crashed and is rebooting. Gosh, that would be so cute! I absolutely love your artwork, by the way! It is so adorable!
Can't answer yet. He does NOT have memories, but he will remember ONE thing...
@daniellemarvel4 Hi, fist off I love your work and can't wait to see what you do next! I was wondering who is more protective of MK when it comes to Red Son? Whether that would be Pigsy, Wukong, Macaque, or even Tang (mabye Mei but I don't think she could stay serious long enough). Also, can we see what Sandy's doing?
mmmmmm---- I think Wukong. Freenoodle is pretty chill with the DBK family after everything that happened. Mac is also quite alright since he was always in good relationship with them. I would say Wukong would just want to be sure his kid doesn't get hurt by the fire in any way
Anonimo I've been squealing, grinning, and kicking my feet going through the Shadowpeach Bio parents AU. Baby MK has been SO CUTE and fun. I wonder if he's going to remember or be embarrassed about it. Another part of me hopes that river is still in play so Sun & Mac can fall in and suddenly MK and everyone has 2 chaotic super-powered Baby Monkeys to take care off 😭 😭 😭
Anonimo ha chiesto: I almost cried they are sooo cute. I hope that we get more sweet family content. Loving the comic thanks for making it 💕💕💕💕
Anonimo ha chiesto: I don’t want the cure to work ! Or could it be like that: MK is such a powerful being that the Dosis Pif gave them, just wasn’t strong enough. Instead it only aged MK up a bit so now he is a small kid or a teenager but not a grown ass money man again. I am not ready to leave the monkey family stuff behind 🥺
unfortunately the river has been close untile further notice. (dw this wont be the end)
@cutvdo ha chiesto: Mei bribing Red Son with baby MK pictures
@luciferapollyon ha chiesto: I hope Mei, Red Son, Macaque and Wukong all got pics before they turned MK back
Anonimo ha chiesto: DHJSJDJDH LIL BABY BEAN! I wonder if Wukong and Macaque took any pics of lil MK while he was smol baby? She would keep them and use them as blackmail. (affectionately)
Anonimo ha chiesto: Your shadowpeach bio parent au is just perfect!! Thankyou for feeding the fandom with the nectar of the gods!!! Especially the one where mac slips into the bed after wukong waits all night. Like Mac would wake up in the morning and see him fast asleep and think of Peng asking 'is there anything Wukong could do that would break his hold over you?' and just seeing him at his most vulnerable right now he's like 'no, not when he always gives me a reason to stay.'
MY HEART
@queen-of-purple-roses Wait if MK is experiencing Macaque’s memories then does that mean that Macaque can experience MK’s? Are they able to dive into each other’s minds?
So the thing is that MK is hearing the past from both POVs. Macaque by definition can hear ANYTHING so yeah he could definitely experience MKs memories. But the thing is-does he want to? I headcanon that his future-present-past hearing abilities are something he only used a couple of times, and because what he heard from them was so traumatic, he decided to NOT use them again (like wukong laser eyes)
@sillygothpartykid ha chiesto: I know everyone is asking you to make the gay monkeys kiss but I actually like how you are developing their relationship. You letting them work through their problems and feeling first giving us that sweet, sweet slow burn! Love your art btw!❤️❤️❤️
awwww ty!!!! yes pls slow burn for life.
@kraytherandomchick ha chiesto: Hey, love your ShadowPeach AU! (Started rereading it after crying from the season 5 finale hehe :'D) But there's always something that's kinda stuck in my head, if MK's no longer immortal, would Macaque or Wukong get sad at the thought of getting older and forced keep going without him?
So- *sigh* technically, we don't really know MK immortality status. it's a grey area for now. Because on one side, he's a stone monkey, who, by nature like Wukong, can perfectly age and grow like a normal monkey. On the other hand, he's technically died already, and by the time he was created by Nuwa, both his biological fathers were already immortal (Wukong bc yes, Macaque because he's a demon, and he can die from wounds and illness, but can't age)
So to answer: we don't know yet what's with him. we will see (I promise that)
@lmk4ever ha chiesto: I LOVE THE SHADOW PEACH BIO PARENT AU SO MUCH!! Mk boi is so lucky to have a artist like you and fathers like them. I want to ask, will shadowpeach ever get into a fight out of anger in front of Mk? Or did they moved on from that phase?
If they will fight it will be more of like- the 2 dads grounding MK. If they need to fight they learned that they need to go on another mountain to do it so they don't bother their child
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will we get a traffic light trio ship?
Probably not, but I'm all for dragonfruit/spicynoodle and having MK and Mei NOT dating each other at the same time.
@yuk1yun ha chiesto: If lmk season 6 isn't like your au, then I don't want to watch it
BRUH THAT'S THE NICEST THING I HEARD ALL WEEK
@conniescialla ha chiesto: HIIII!! ok scusa l'italiano ma letteralmente trovare artisti italiani ispira sempre quel momento patriottico alla YES ONE OF US MUAHHAHAH Scherzi a parte, il comic Shadowpeach bio parents Au è meraviglioso, si approva soprattutto l'hurt/comfort ;p
Tanti kudos!!<3
AAAAHHH CHE BELLO UN ALTR* ITALIAN*!!!!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I really wanna see jelous wukong!!!!!! I dunno maybe some random demon trying to flirt with emo monkie or something and wukong is like oh hell no!! He is mine!! I think it would be so cute
he would become incredibly possessive and start hissing and growling like a tiger. NOBODY TOUCHES MY SOFT PILLOW
Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be so cute if Wukong would take care of sick Macaque! It would show Macaque that Wukong changed and is no longer like he was before. I wonder if Macaque got sick, would MK help or would Macaque be too stubborn to let anyone know.
I know everyone says Wukong is this great sage with incredible abilities in every field (and he is) but I would like to imagine that, since he needs to do these thing for Macaque specifically, he's so stressed over the fact he needs to do them perfectly that he fucks up lmao.
Like, he would try his best to take care of him and almost burn the kitchen in the meantime, while Macaque was only hoping the two of them could just stay more in bed cuddling each other
Anonimo ha chiesto: im just imagining Mac getting anxious becouse he cannot find baby MK and Wukong is there to calm him down
@shadowpeachera ha chiesto: Heyy I absolutely love your shadowpeach bio au, the drawings, the text its perfect! Did Mk every run off or get into trouble now that he’s a cub or even play games with Wukong and Macaque like hide and seek? That would be really cute. I can imagine them playing hide and seek while Mk discovers he can make shadow portals, meanwhile his parents are stressing and scared as they have no idea where he is.
i think both of them would freak out.
WAIT I HAVE THE PIC I HAVE THE PIC
I'VE BEEN SAVING THIS PIC SINCE 2017
@nyx-daughterofchaos98 ha chiesto: Hi! For LMK, I watched a nature documentary on Monkeys the other day and a lot of monkeys correct each others behavior by doing something called “Disciplinary Nips” or “Discipline Bites” (This isn’t a sexual ask I promise) I think it would be absolutely hilarious, if Macaque and Wukong are napping together, and for whatever reason, Wukong keeps moving around, unable to get comfortable. And in his sleep-riddled state, Macaque gets annoyed and bites him. 🤣 Like; I’M TRYING TO SLEEP! KNOCK IT OFF! 🤣🤣🤣 And when Wukong does stop moving, Macaque does actually fall asleep. Even better is if Macaque wakes up and has absolutely No Idea he bit Wukong because he was half asleep at the time. Or he thinks it was a dream and ensue the shenanigans when he realizes it wasn’t.
OMG THAT'S SO CUTE AND SILLY AAHHHH!!! EVEN BETTER: what if they do this without noticing BEFORE they are like-actually romantically back together, and someone sees the mark bites AND THEY START TO ASSUME CERTAIN THINGS BRUH.
@tabs-tabi-tabby Can Macaque help with MK’s clones? Or would that be Wukong’s area?
MK can't make the same clones macaque has. He can control a little bit his own shadow, and use that as a clone. so as long as it's his own shadow, it's more Mac area, if it's his own hair clone then it's Wukong's
@startdustmonkie ha chiesto: Does Mk and or Wukong know about Savage and Rumble? (If so how did they find out about them?) — (also: do Savage and Rumble see Mama macaque as a parent?)
@mushrum-soup ha chiesto: Hi just wanted to say I absolutely adore your shadow peach au it's literally the highlight of my week 💖I was wondering tho are rumble and savage just shadow clones in your au or similar to their Lego counterparts :O?
Yes they know about them. No they aren't his kids let's say. My own personal headcanon for the Au (or the show in general) is that they are both Macaque shadow, like- clones with a little bit of personality just like MK clones represent specific parts of his personality. He has 2 of them because he lived 2 lives, one before and one after he was brought back to life.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Just read the latest Shadowpeach bio kid comic, and i cant help but giggle a bit at how MK’s chirp woke Wukong and Macaque up lmao just the “and they snoozing- OH SHIT BABY CHIRPING WHATS WRONG-“
HE IS BABYYYY
@hellobur ha chiesto: Did you base when mk was reaching fr macaque after he was walking away because mk called him mama after this or was it a funny coincidence (mk also doe the pose but I can't find it lol)
Also I absolutely love this story and your art your work is incredible! ^^
Omg LMAO NO I DIDN’T BUT NOW IT’S 100% MORE FUNNY
@dragonaboni-blog ha chiesto: Hi! First off, I love your art and your Shadowpeach AU, it's the reason I'm reactivating my own Tumblr account lol One of my favorite tropes in this story is "A gets sick and B takes care of him" so I'm wondering… What would that trope be like in the AU? What would the monkey trio be like when they got sick? Do any of them sleep through their illness? Or are any of them extremely dramatic like "These will be my last words…"? CoughcoughWUKONGCoughcough
Aaahh I’ve seen a lot of asks asking this one but honestly I don t know If I’ll ever draw that trope. Maybe bc Wukong should technically have canonically too much knowledge about general illness to be worried about normal daily life illness. If it was something more life-threating. Maybe yes, but I still have to cook.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Counterpoint: wukong can't handle spicy foods because he has no impulse control and his monkee brain wants him to only eat fruit and peaches
Ouch. Yes that seems about accurate for him lmao
Anonimo ha chiesto: About the lmk bio au.... we have seen that MK can manipulate certain parts of his body in the 72 transformations... so..... Wukong and Macaque could technically have children.
I’ll be 100% honest I have no idea if stone monkeys are…fertile?
Anonimo Hey there! I am in love with your art. LMK is something that came into my life recently and damn I love it so much! Love your AU, and I can't wait to see more of it. Funnily, since the baby MK incident I imagine this later on becoming a somewhat spark of many funny arguments later on. What I mean is I see baby MK has a favorite parent (*cough-cough* MacCRACK *cough-cough*) [Sorry with the name joke, couldn't help myself]. XD. And I imagine Wukong be a bit jealous at times and go 'Anything you can do I can do better XD' Also see lovely Redson have a thing for MK, and then I imagine him ask his parents about advice on pursuing his crush. "So who is the lucky girl?" "Well, you already know him-" *Spits out water* "You got yourself a husband?" "What, no I haven't yet-!"
Aww I don't think MK would have a favourite but definitely there are times where he wants one parent more than the other (play time with Wukong, nap time with Mamacaque)
Anonimo ha chiesto: Yknow what they say… like father like son! In the sense that they’re all gay /j
Oh yeah absolutely it's genetic/j
@wolfasketch ha chiesto: Mac being on the sunny side and Wuwu being in the shadows
I know I'm looking into it too much but- AHHH!!!
That was unintentional but HOLY SIT U R RIGHT
Anonimo ha chiesto: Poor Red Boy never got to see baby MK! Imagine him just staring at the adorableness that is baby MK and being like 'I hope our future children look just like you OH MY GODS YOU'RE ADORABLE'. Baby MK: :3
Their child will literally be Kai from Ninjago so I guess THEY ARE RIGHT HE WILL BE
Anonimo ha chiesto: And then MK will wake up back to normal, confused, but proud that he managed to get them even closer?
100% yes
@drowning-in-webnovel-chapters ha chiesto: I can't imagine how the monkey dads are gonna try to go back to sleep after that, oof. Also Wukong definitely knows all that from when he used to help Macaque through visions, right?
Yup! He does indeed!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I’m guessing MK is getting a mini version of Macaque’s “can hear the past/present/future” thingy, did he managed to hear it accidentally or was he trying to learn more about his powers/Shadowpeach’s past ?
Yes, he was just wondering since last time that he found the sleeping cuddling with him, what exactly happened for them to rift away. Guess curiosity killed the cat
@aurabooboo ha chiesto: So. I'm rewatching season 5, right? I noticed that they almost had a yelling match with MK right in the middle. Would Wukong apologize to him for that?
These 3 have so much to talk about… i wont draw everything, but they definitely apologised offscreen.
@elianaroselight ha chiesto: It is quite telling how Wukong immediately knew what to do to help calm MK, but also, Macaque coming in with the perspective of having gone through it himself. The need for them to remain close by and wait until Mk is asleep before trying to leave. This means Mac has been through exactly what he is telling them not to do and knows the pain, sorrow and trauma that comes from feeling abandoned like this. They may be facing their past hurting their own kid through proxy and try to help him fight against the trauma. Luckily they have good people to help when they themselves can't. *looks at Freenoodles*
Yup! Their response is exactly related to what they do to calm the other!
@thenerdycupcake ha chiesto: So, does MK’s gold vision combine with his hearing sometimes so that he sees some of what he’s hearing from the past?
Oooohhh i guess he does! So he can literally see and hear the past!
@frogsfandoms ha chiesto: Omg why can I see after MK wakes up he thinks that it isn’t the past he’s hearing and that it actually just happened. Rushing to see if Wukong and Macaque are hurt and or trying to stop them from fighting 😭😭😭
Oohhh our baby still doesn’t want to believe it actually happened :(
Anonimo ha chiesto: Adult MK: OH MY GOD A SPIDER *desperate scared monkey noises* Baby MK: what's this? A 5 starts meal? *Tries to chomp said spider* He's gonna be sooo disgusted when someone tells him he tried to eat one fkdkdlfmfl
Oh poor MK. He’ll be teased about this for the rest of his days.
@sailera ha chiesto: Hello I have question about you Shadowpeach bio dads au- How would Pigsy react that his only employee turned to a baby? And hadn’t answered his phone in few days? Also love your art!! And your ISAT comic got me again interested in playing Sky ✨
Mk only became a baby for like- 20 hours. Mei told him that he stayed at FFM because he was ‘tired after training’. As of now Pigsy didn!t found out
---------------
That's all for this week! Thank you a lot for all the asks!
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I'm going to be honest
I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.
I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.
It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.
I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.
It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.
Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.
Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.
First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.
I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.
So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.
I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.
I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.
So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.
I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.
I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.
I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.
There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.
I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.
Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.
I'm forcing it and I'm tired.
It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.
I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.
It's not you, it's me.
So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.
Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.
I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.
I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.
Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.
I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.
It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.
I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.
This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.
Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.
Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.
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What if Zevlor/Rolan/Dammon's partner is a virgin and when they are at the tiefling party said partner reveals that they would be their first?
This request has been combined with the following request from @mairalynn416 'How would the tieflings react to Tav being a virgin? (totally don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable)'
I had a great time writing these headcanons and I love having a bit of smut thrown into my requests queue, I hope you guys both enjoy!
NSFW under the cut, slight mention of overstimulation in Dammons part
Tiefling bachelors with a virgin partner
Dammon
Literally one of the sweetest men in existence
He can tell as you're both stripping each other that something's bothering you
Pauses the kisses trailing down your neck to ask what's wrong
Dammon can't help but chuckle a bit when you admit he's your first, you just look so adorable
Reassures you that you don't have to do anything you don't want to
When you give him the go ahead he's back to stripping you bare, hands roaming over every inch of you body
The type to lay you back against your bedroll and give you head until you have tears in your eyes
Dammon definitely says it's just because he wants you fully prepared for what's to come
Doesn't even take off his pants when he goes down on you, he's too invested
When you do get his pants off it's no surprise what you see is a bit intimidating
Dammons cock is large and ridged, precum beading at the top as it hangs between his thighs
When he's easing into you he's just so sweet, little praises of how good you're taking him and a deep purring in his chest
Takes things slow and will stop if he thinks he's hurting you
Once your hips press together he's more than happy to press a firm kiss to your lips, waiting for you to get used to the feeling
Dammon is one of the best men to have as your first
Zevlor
Just getting Zevlor into your bed is an incredible experience
Having him take your virginity too? Mind-blowing
He has plenty of experience, and as soon as you tell him all of it gets put to good use
Zevlor takes everything slow, kissing you sweetly and having you sit on his lap
Moving you to grind against his thigh as he pulls off both your shirts between kisses
I can see him stripping you both down to your underwear before having you keep grinding on him
And, like the rest of his body, his thighs definitely have some very convenient infernal ridges
The way you look cumming as you grind on him is almost enough for Zevlor to reach his own end
He holds off though, and positions you both properly for the rest of his plan
After a small check in to know you want this, he'll help you ease down onto his cock
While he prefers missionary, having you ride him is a way for you to control the pace yourself
He's even bigger than Dammon is, long and thick enough to stretch you to the limit as you ease down on him
The whole time Zevlor is holding your hips to keep you steady, murmuring praises and encouragement
So careful as you finally take all of him, he can't even look because he knows the such a sight will be too much for him
So sweet when he helps you start lifting your hips again
When you're with Zevlor you're in very good hands
Rolan
This might be a controversial take but I can definitely see him as still being a virgin at the time of the tiefling party
The two of you are tipsy and after weeks of heated looks and innuendo laced comments the two of you have escaped to your tent
After a heavy make out session, one that ends with hickeys covering your neck, you admit that you've never been with anyone before
Rolan is instantly flustered and turned on
It's an instinctive thing, so is the way he stumbles over his words as he admits the same
He's so blushy and adorable
The two of you take things slow, mapping out each others bodies as you undress, kissing over collarbones and down stomachs
Eventually, Rolans fingers find where you need him most, a murmured spell from his lips covering them in lube before he presses one into you
And dear Gods do his fingers feel good
They're so long and dexterous, easily curling to press those sensitive spots inside you
There's no prettier sight to him than how you look cumming as he fingers you
When the two of you can't handle the build up any longer Rolan will have you on your hands and knees as he eases in
He's a bit embarrassed for you to see his face as he groans at the feeling of you pressing in around him
Luckily while Rolan is long, his girth isn't as intense as the others, and the ridges rubbing against you feel all too good as you take him
He barely waits before making small ruts of his hips into you, so needy for the feeling of you squeezing around him
Honestly, Rolan is a top tier tiefling to have as your first and only
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3 x reader#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate 3 smut#bg3 smut#baldurs gate 3 dammon#bg3 dammon#dammon x reader#dammon smut#baldurs gate 3 zevlor#bg3 zevlor#zevlor x reader#zevlor smut#baldurs gate 3 rolan#bg3 rolan#rolan x reader#rolan smut#bri answers
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hii!! can i please req how zb1 would act when you sleep on the couch after an argument 💓
hi nonnie!! sorry i took a while to get to your request school was starting so my attention was on that! but here you go I hope you like it. also i didn't feel comfortable writing yujin since I wrote this in the sense of ZB1 being in romantic relationships so I did not want to include yujin.
-Jiwoong-
if that's what you want he would understand
he would be so sad though :((
he wouldn't annoy you by begging you to go back to bed
instead he stays up all night hoping you're gonna go back to him
but no you are stubborn and strong willed so you sleep on the couch
when you wake up to your surprise he is fast asleep next to you
-Hanbin-
oh hanbin :')
the moment you said you would sleep on the couch, hanbin was ALERT
he would not even let you make contact with the couch
"please let's just talk it out"
in the case that you don't want to talk to him though..
he would just hold your hand all night until you talk to him
and then he would talk through the argument and try to find a solution right away
hanbin just doesn't want you to go to sleep feeling sad or angry :(
so ofc our little hamster is going to do anything to make you feel better and to make up for the argument
-Hao-
Hao is an introvert
his first instinct is to give you space, since it's what he would want
so he would go to your shared bedroom thinking you would join him later
but when night time hit and you still weren't there he got worried
despite his begging you were adamant that you would sleep on the couch
so while you went to shower, he prepared anything you may need
blankets? check. comfy slippers? check?
but before you could even see him prepare all that for you
as quickly as he set that up, he quickly left to your shared bedroom
once you were fast asleep
hao would occasionally wake up to go check up on you
yes he understands that you're upset but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop being the amazing boyfriend he is
-Matthew-
the way this man would feel SO BAD (queue stayc)
the idea that you rather sleep on the uncomfy couch instead of the comfy bed in his arms..
yeah that was enough for him to run to you and apologize
matthew is sooo persistent
he would be apologizing all night and try to convince you to go back to bed
when you don't budge and are set on staying on the uncomfy couch
he takes matters into his own hand ;)
after an hour he has enough and flings you over his shoulder, takes you to the big bed, tucks you in and gives you a longing kiss
after doing so he is off the sleep in the couch
FORGIVE HIM PLS :(
-Taerae-
the way this man is so stubborn and petty
his pride is HIGH
he wouldn't even bat an eye when he sees you sleeping on the couch (BRO IS THAT PETTY)
he goes to bed in your shared bedroom not caring and giving you the cold shoulder
until 2 hours pass and he starts missing your warmth
that's when he gets up and looks at your sleeping figure from the hallway
he just stands there and contemplates whether he should wake you up
he does.
"i can't sleep please come back. im sorry i promise i won't do it again"
-Ricky-
this man is lucky he has such a face
at first he wouldn't tell you anything, his stare seems cold and blank when he sees you
he doesn't care, atleast on the outside
on the inside we know Ricky is literally crying
it hurts him so much seeing you rather be on the couch instead of with him
he lets you be and you fall asleep on the couch
to your surprise though when you wake up, you're met with the familiar morning light and the familiar blankets hugging your body
throughout the night, ricky watched until you fell asleep and when you he knew you were out, he carried you back to bed and slept next to you
when you turn around to see if ricky is in his usual spot, instead of your boyfriend you see a note
"im sorry please forgive me come to the kitchen"
when you get up and get to the kitchen you see multiple gifts and breakfast on the counter
a shy ricky holding the back of his neck saying "good morning"
-Gyuvin-
if you left the couch expecting to be alone, you are wrong.
the moment you leave to the couch, he is trailing behind you
gyuvin loves you too much he wouldn't let you be alone
lets alone would he let you go to sleep angry and alone
despite you not talking to him and giving him the cold shoulder
this man is cuddling up to you saying...
"i know you're upset but I love you and I don't want you feel like I don't"
you both end up making up but still sleep on the couch cuddled up together
when you wake up, gyuvin delivers breakfast in bed (the couch)
all day he is doing some sweet acts of service (THIS MAN IS SORRY FOR WHAT HE DID)
-Gunwook-
gunwook like hanbin would not let you fall asleep on the couch when you are upset
he understands what you are feeling and he wants you to know that
he insists that you guys fix the argument
when you refuse to (cause sometimes we be petty like that)
gunwookie sits on the floor next to the couch, holding your hand until you are willing to talk
when you can't take it anymore (he literally will not let go) you decide to give in and talk about the argument
you both talk and both apologize and come to an understanding
after communicating the problem you guys go to your shared bedroom holding each other
guys gunwook would be such an amazing boyfi
#zb1#zerobaseone#zb1 imagines#zb1 reactions#zb1 scenarios#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone reactions#kim gyuvin#zhang hao#gyuvin#ricky#shen ricky#han yujin#seok matthew#kim taerae#sung hanbin#kim jiwoong#park gunwook
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Hi dear donors ! ❤️
I would like to extend my thank and gratitude for the support you have been offering over the last eleven months. ❤️☺️
My family and I have been suffering and going through the hardest days we have ever experienced in our life . Things are very hard to get and and sometimes unattainable.😭😓
Our sufferings and hardship started on the first days of the war when all our possessions were completely destroyed and burned. We have become displaced and homeless , finding ourselves in a small tent in streets with no means of life. We lack every single necessary thing of life; food, water, hygiene essentials, and other necessities have become scarce and rare.
A photo taken to show how incredibly harsh our life has become after the war. We are struggling and facing lots of barriers to obtain the simplest necessities for living. Everything single thing is a complete story.
You can't imagine what difficulties we have been going through all these days of war. No cooking gas , nor cooking tools exist . We struggle to prepare a small meal of food.
No bakeries are available. Everything seems a miracle and unbelievable.😭 The war has stolen our joy and smile, leaving us busy thinking only of staying safe and alive. Our future has gone with the wind and our kids lost their dreams and ambitions.
This is a part of burying the dead. We also face some problems in the process of buying our dead people as no place is there for the family. Tombs aren't enough for the number of people living on a small spot of land.
A photo taken for the morning queue of filling our gallons with drink water. We wait hours to get some water for drink. Our life is full of tragedy and sadness.
All what we need is to survive the war and be safe. We are trying to secure the daily basic living necessities and this can come true with your contribution and support. Please don't spare this moment of supporting the people in need in Gaza in this tough and dire time. You can help us by either donating however small it is or sharing my posts. Your support makes a big difference for families in need.
Stop Genocide
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Posting Schedule, Changes & A Small Break
~*~
My fellow wangxianists.
I am very sorry that I have to make this announcement, but I need to take a little break.
Let me start by promising that I will not abandon this blog and I will definitely continue posting, but I really do need a break. For the past two years, I managed to keep this blog running with daily fic recs, no matter what was happening in my own life. I prepared the queue for when I had a major surgery last year and for when I went on a long vacation this year, but currently the queue is empty and I can't bring myself to hastily throw another post together just so that I will not miss my daily fic rec.
In the beginning of August, I moved across the country and started a new job. It's my dream job and I worked hard for literal years to have this opportunity, but it's also very demanding and I often come home and continue working. I just don't have as much time anymore to read fics and then prepare a fic rec post (write the rec itself, make the graphic, format everything, etc.) and I found myself only hastily reading whatever short fic came across my dash and then quickly throwing a post together and it's becoming an unfortunate pattern. I don't want fic-reading burnout. I love reading fic and I love this fandom very much. I also still want to have enough time to write my own fanfics. It's my dearest hobby and I often neglected it to keep the WangxianFicRecs queue running.
Needless to say, things have to change and here's what I decided so far:
No more daily fic rec posts
From now on, I will add all posts to the queue. My own recs, Follower Recs, Proud Author Spotlights, Event Boosts, everything will get added to the queue. So on some days, e.g. you might get one of my recs or your might get a Follower Rec. And if there is no post for a day or two, that's fine too.
Bringing back old recs
There are over 1.400 bookmarks in the WangxianFicRecs Collection and we made posts for all of them. Going forward, whenever the queue is looking a little sad and empty, I will queue some of our old recs similar to Throwback Recs. I'm sure there are more than a few recs you missed originally.
Housekeeping
I will take a break for at least a week (I'll add all submissions in the inbox to the queue) and take some time to think about how I want to run this blog going forward. I've also promised myself to finally clean up our tag page and maybe get a better system sorted for making the graphics.
In the meantime, thank you for your support and being such lovely followers! I really love running this blog and I want to keep loving it going forward.
Love, Kay.
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— You are the best thing that's ever been ours!
pairings: leah williamson x reader
summary: the first year of leah and reader being parents to their baby girl
special thank you to @alotofpockets and @lvnleah for the help along the way with figuring this one out!
small bump masterlist
“I still can’t believe she’s actually here,” You whisper, peering down at your newborn baby girl, fast asleep in her Moses basket.
The sight of her tiny peaceful face makes it all feel like a surreal dream to you.
Leah is sat beside you as she nods in agreement, “She’s here, and she’s our perfect little bubba.”
“I know,” You catch Leah’s gaze and smile, “It still feels pretty surreal, doesn’t it?”
“It really does,” Leah admits, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she turns her attention back to Remi, her eyes filled with adoration, “I can’t stop staring at her though.”
“Me neither,” You agree with your wife, not able to take your eyes away from your little one as you try and stifle a yawn, “God, labour really does take it out of you, doesn’t it?”
Leah chuckles and nods, “Why don’t you try and get some sleep while Remi’s asleep? You know what they say– When the baby sleeps, then so should the mum’s.”
“Speak for yourself, you’re still awake,” You murmur, struggling to keep your eyes open.
“Speak for yourself,” Leah retorts playfully, “I’m not the one who just went through hours of labour. You should sleep while you can, love.”
As if on queue to keep you awake, your baby girl starts to stir in her Moses basket, clearly not so keen on the idea of letting you sleep after all.
“Looks like little miss has other ideas,” You can’t help but tiredly laugh as Remi lets out a soft cry, “I bet she’s hungry.” You start to move to get out of bed, however your wife is less reluctant to let you do so considering it’s less than 24 hours since you’ve given birth.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got her,” Leah reassures, gently scooping your little girl up into her arms, “Hi baby girl, are you a bit hungry, huh? It’s okay, Mumma is right here to feed you,” She coos, carefully handling Remi over to you as you prop yourself up against the pillows.
“Thanks Le,” You hold your baby girl close to you as you readjust your top, helping her latch on to feed while your wife sits beside you, watching you with a tender smile and her hand resting on your back to offer silent support and love as your little family settles into this new rhythm together.
The first few months of life with a newborn baby girl was completely blissful, watching your wife bond with your little girl was one of the moments that you most treasured forever. There was just something magical about watching the love of your life cradle your daughter, seeing the way that Leah’s eyes softened, her voice instinctively dropping to a gentle whisper and soothing Remi in ways that only she could.
“Love, are you ready to go?” Leah called out by the front door, cradling Remi in her arms while your little girl is all bundled up in a light weighted coat, ready to face the chill of September’s unpredictable weather, “What’s taking Mumma so long, huh?”
“Almost!” You called back, navigating through the house with an armful of essentials needed, the sheer volume of items is far more needed that you’d normally take to a football game, but you’re determined to be prepared for anything to happen, “I’m just making sure we have everything that we might need.” You explained, offering Leah a weary smile.
The blonde’s face softened as she sensed your nerves, “Love, if it’s too soon…” She began gently, “I don’t mind going on my own. There will be other times.”
You shook your head in disagreement, a firm but understanding smile on your face, “No, no, it’s going to be fine, besides your mum and the rest of your family will be there to help out if I need it,” You reassured her, reaching to take Remi from her arms, “And I know your teammates are all itching for cuddles with her too.”
Leah laughed softly, “Oh, they can’t wait to meet our little Gooner,” She said, taking hold of the several bags to carry out of the house, “I’m so excited for you both to be there to watch the match today. It means a lot to be able to look up into the box and see you both there.” She added, gesturing to the game at the Emirates, you would be going to watch Leah and her teammates play in their first game of the new season against Man City.
“We’re excited to be able to watch, aren’t we, sweet girl,” You cooed, kneeling down to gently place her in her car seat to carry her out of the house, “I can’t believe you actually dressed her an Arsenal shirt as well. I knew I should have been concerned about you dressing her.” You joked playfully with your wife.
“Of course I did, we can’t have our little girl coming to watch me play and not wear a shirt with my name on, can we?” Leah retorted, locking up the house and following you out to the car to help you settle Remi into the back of it while you sit beside her just for your own peace of mind.
Thankfully the drive to the stadium wasn’t too far ahead from where you live and Remi was golden the whole time in the car, snoozing away in her car seat with no care in the world.
“Lovely parking Leah. Well done,” Your wife complimented her parking as she pulled the car up outside the Emirates stadium, with the plan to go ahead of the coach to be able to help you inside before the frenzy of fans arrive.
“You did not seriously just say that, did you?” You couldn’t help but laugh in amusement at your wifes’ usual antics, “Your Mummy is so silly sometimes, isn’t she, Remi Bear?” You cooed to your little girl who’s now awake and looking round with curious eyes.
“I just have my way sometimes, don’t judge me,” Leah retorted, sticking her tongue out at you as she gets out of the car and helps get Remi out of the car seat, “Welcome to the Emirates, my baby Gooner. I can’t wait till you're old enough to be able to experience this properly.”
“I’m sure she’ll be thrilled,” You teased your wife’s excitement, her passion for her club on and off the pitch is one of the things that you love most about her, “What if she decides to not like football at all, huh?” You joked in amusement.
Leah fauxed a playful gasp, “Don’t swear in front of the baby like that,” She acted like it’s the worst thing you’ve said, “Honestly, love, out of all the things you’ve said. I think that one cuts deep.”
“Oh I’m sure you’ll get over it,” You still couldn’t help but continue to wind your wife up, “Let’s get inside, I bet your mum will be waiting for us.”
“I think they’ve arrived,” Leah agreed with you as the three of you made your way inside the stadium to meet up with her family, “Oh! There they are now.” She pointed in the direction her family was standing waiting for your guys arrival.
“Hi girls!” Leah’s mum, Amanda greeted you both as she walked closer towards you and caught sight of Remi who was in Leah’s arms and of course your little girl was all smiles for the woman that she adored, “There’s Nana’s girl!”
“Hi Amanda,” You waved politely and smiled at the older woman.
“Hi Mum,” Leah greeted Amanda and was eager to pass Remi over to the older woman who was desperate for a cuddle, “Look who it is, it’s Nana, baby Gooner!”
“Hi sweet angel,” Amanda cooed, taking Remi from Leah as she gently bounced your little girl in her arms, “Are you so excited for your first match?”
“Of course she is!” Leah was beaming a proud wide smile while she watched the exchange between your daughter and her mother, “She’s even wearing her own shirt in support of Mummy today!” She added, unfastening her coat to show Amanda the little Arsenal shirt that Remi was wearing.
“I didn’t have a single say in it,” You joked with the older woman as you shook your head, “Let’s just hope Remi doesn’t spit up on it.” You added, looking at your wife with a knowing look.
“Nah she wouldn’t do that,” Leah shook the idea off as she quickly exchanged hellos with the rest of her family and took the time to catch up– Your wife was exceptionally close with her family and that was another thing you loved about her.
Before long it was time to take your seats inside the box in the stadium ahead of the game and Leah had to join the rest of the team now they had arrived. You knew the noise would be loud from the fans so you were more than grateful for the pair of small red ear defenders that Remi currently had placed over her little ears while she sat on Berny, Leah’s grandma’s lap and enjoyed the atmosphere around her.
“Are you ready to see your Mummy play, sweetheart?” You heard Berny ask your little girl, gently bouncing her on her knee.
“Look there she is, Remi Roo,” Holly, Leah’s cousin, cooed and crouched down beside the seat and pointed in the direction of the pitch where you could spot Leah warming up amongst the rest of the girls, “Do you see her?”
“Leah’s been so excited about you two both finally being here to watch the match,” Amanda told you with a genuine smile on her face, “It’s the only thing she’s been going on about.” She added.
“I know, even if I’m not sure Remi understands much of it at all,” You joked but you were glad to be able to be here to watch your wife play again– You always did love to watch her doing what she loved the most.
Soon enough the match kicked off and you watched Arsenal and Manchester City battle for the 3 points in the first opening game of the season. It was incredibly different to see Leah’s former teammate, Vivianne play against them wearing a blue shirt but at least she looked happy enough to be a part of the club.
“Back with the stern facial expression,” Jacob, Leah’s brother, joked as he watched the game play out, “Why am I not surprised?” He added, shaking his head in amusement.
“It’s just what she’s known for,” You remarked and you couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s one of the things I love about her.”
“Remi has the same frown as Leah does,” Jacob quipped, amusedly as he spotted the expression that your little girl had on her face, which did indeed match your wifes, “It’s exactly identical.”
A whole 90 minutes later and the match was over, the game ending in a win for the Gunners which you know Leah would be exceptionally happy about, a brilliant way to kick off the new season.
“Shall we go and find Mummy now, Rem?” You told her, taking Remi from Jacob who was holding off her at the end of the match, “I bet she’ll be so excited to see you!”
“Oh I bet she will be,” Amanda agreed with you, helping you pick up the things you need as you all begin to make your way back inside to meet up with everyone once the game is over.
Walking inside, you’re quick to spot your wife catching with her best friend, Lia now after the match is over and she’s had a chance to grab a quick shower, “Look, there she is, there’s Mummy,” You took a gentle hold of Remi’s small hand and pointed it in the direction of where your wife is, “Let’s go say hi!”
“Baby Gooner!” You suddenly heard the familiar accent of Beth, Leah’s team mate as she came darting towards you with her own girlfriend hot on her tail, “Oh my Goodness, she’s absolutely precious. Can I have a cuddle?” She asked.
“Not before I do,” Lia spotted you walking towards them and took the chance to try and have first dibs on having a cuddle with Remi, “We’ve all been so eager to meet her.”
“Oh I’m sure Remi would love to have cuddles with all of her Aunties,” Leah chimed in the conversation, “But not before I get to say hello to my baby Gooner first. I get first dibs as her Mummy.” She added, reaching out for your daughter, who was quick to realise who was in front of her as she beamed an adorable smile.
“She definitely knows who you both are,” Beth said, watching the interaction between your wife and daughter, “She’s the absolute spit of you, Le.” She said, taking her turn to have a quick cuddle with Remi, who was intrigued by the new face in front of her that she hadn’t met before.
“I know, right? Even Jacob pointed out that Rem has the same frown,” You told them as you found it hard to stifle your laughter, “I think she really enjoyed watching you play today, she was a lot less grumpier than she usually is.” You said.
“Of course she was happy watching Mummy out on the pitch,” Leah gloated at the idea of your daughter being her most cheerful while being at the Emirates watching her play, “Told you, she’s a baby Gooner, through and through. Plenty more years to come as well!”
Before long, the first 6 months had flown by and it amazed you how much Remi was changing every single day right in front of your eyes – Being able to sit up on her own without support, trying solid foods for the first time and even managing to sleep through the night.
Every single milestone felt like a tiny miracle, a glimpse at the little person she was becoming.
It was now the most magical time of the year, it was Christmas and that was something that your wife took very seriously with her family Christmas traditions that she had insisted that you partake in, and she was now even more overjoyed to share them with Remi.
“It’s her first Christmas,” Leah beamed, her eyes sparkling with excitement, “We have to make it so special.”
“We will,” You reassured, smiling at the joy on her face, “She’s going to have the best time– Even if she doesn’t understand much of it.” You joked with your wife, knowing that your daughter wouldn’t be able to remember any of this or understand it yet.
“I wish she would stop growing so much,” Leah’s expression softens as she looks down at Remi while you fasten her in her pram, already bundled up ahead of the Christmas Eve walk you would be joining Leah’s whole family on, “She’s getting so big already.”
“I know it’s honestly crazy,” You agree, shaking your head with a grin, “You blink and then suddenly, she’s this big… I don’t like it. Not oBefore long, the first 6 months had flown by and it amazed you how much Remi was changing every single day right in front of your eyes – Being able to sit up on her own without support, trying solid foods for the first time and even managing to sleep through the night.
Every single milestone felt like a tiny miracle, a glimpse at the little person she was becoming.
It was now the most magical time of the year, it was Christmas and that was something that your wife took very seriously with her family Christmas traditions that she had insisted that you partake in, and she was now even more overjoyed to share them with Remi.
“It’s her first Christmas,” Leah beamed, her eyes sparkling with excitement, “We have to make it so special.”
“We will,” You reassured, smiling at the joy on her face, “She’s going to have the best time– Even if she doesn’t understand much of it.” You joked with your wife, knowing that your daughter wouldn’t be able to remember any of this or understand it yet.
“I wish she would stop growing so much,” Leah’s expression softens as she looks down at Remi while you fasten her in her pram ahead of the Christmas Eve walk you would be joining Leah’s whole family on, “She’s getting so big already.”
“I know it’s honestly crazy,” You agree, shaking your head with a grin, “You blink and then suddenly, she’s this big.”
“No, I don’t like it,” Leah told you in disagreement, not liking the idea of your little baby growing up, “I don’t like, not one bit.”
You finish fastening Remi into her pram, her eyes wide staring up at you with a mix of curiosity and wonder as you can’t help but grin just to wind your wife up even more, “Don’t blink too fast,” You teased lightly, “Or she’ll be off to school before we know it.”
“Stop, no,” Leah said, shooting you a pointed look as bending down and to press a soft kiss on your daughter’s forehead, “No, I don’t even want to think about that.”
You couldn’t help but smirk mischievously, clearly amused by her reaction, “Oh, I mean we haven’t talked about when she’s going to have her first boyfriend–”
“Nope, stop right there!” Your wife interrupts, hands on her hands, “I refuse to believe my little girl will date. Nope, it’s not happening!”
You couldn’t help but laugh at Leah’s protectiveness which only made your heart swell more, reminding you just how lucky you were to have this family and cherish moments like this.
As you finished getting Remi settled in her pram, the hallway began to fill with the chatter and laughter of Leah’s family gathering for the tradition of their Christmas Eve walk.
“Are we ready to go?” Amanda called out, appearing in the doorway with Bella, their dog, tugging eagerly at her lead while her tail wagged excitedly.
“Yep, we’re all ready!” Leah grinned, wrapping a free arm around you.
“Remi’s first Christmas Eve walk! This is a tradition that can’t be broken,” Jacob joined them in the hallway, zipping up his coat as he bent down to give Remi a quick kiss on her forehead.
“Oh just look at her all bundled up,” Berny cooed, her eyes twinkling as she looked at Remi all cosy in her pram wearing her pale pink winter romper, “Before you know it, she’ll be walking and able to run around.”
Leah groaned in disagreement and firmly shook her head, “Don’t you start Grandma, this ones’ already talking about when she goes off to school,” She said, nodding in your direction, “I still have a few more years yet!”
You grinned at the older woman, “Leahs’ dreading the idea of Remi growing up,” You chimed in amusedly.
Holly snorted at her cousin's denial and gave her a playful nudge, “It’s bound to happen sooner or later, Le. You can’t keep her a baby forever.”
“Yeah, you just blink and it just happens,” Jordan, Leah’s older cousin piped in, already having a little boy of her own, “They grow up so fast.”
Leah shook her head with a dramatic sigh, trying to keep a serious face but failing to hide the smile tugging at her lips, “Let’s not think about it just yet, let’s just go for our walk.”
“Yeah, let’s not traumatise Le with the idea of Remi growing up just yet,” Jacob snickered, poking fun at his older sisters’ dread for Remi growing up.
You couldn’t help but enjoy hearing the sound of the snow crunching beneath your feet as you begin your walk, the twinkling lights of the neighbourhood illuminating your path as Remi gurgled softly in her pram, mesmerised by them.
“This,” Leah whispered, squeezing your hand, her face a mix of happiness and contentment, “Is what it’s all about.”
“It’s pretty magical, isn’t it?” You leaned into her warmth and took in this special moment of being around your wife, your little girl and your family during a special time of the year, “I couldn’t think of anything to top this.”
It’s true what they say about time going by so fast – much to your wife’s initial denial about that happening, Remi was nine months old before you both knew it and your little girl was growing more curious and lively every day, her eyes bright and wide with wonder.
March arrived before you know it and Leah’s birthday was vastly approaching, you knew you wanted to do something to celebrate, despite your wife’s insistence on wanting a small celebration and after brainstorming, you decided on the idea on a trip to the zoo – it would be a perfect blend of fun for all of you.
“Happy birthday, Le!” You exclaimed, showered your wife with gifts as she sat cross-legged on the bed meanwhile Remi sat wedged happily in between you, far more interested with the crinkling wrapping paper than the presents themselves, her tiny hands eagerly reaching out to scrunch it up.
“Thank you, love,” Leah smiled, tearing through the paper with a grin and leaning over to give you a quick kiss on the lips, “These are perfect.”
“You’re welcome,” You replied, enjoying the happiness that lit up her face.
Remi started to babble something which sounded vaguely recognisable to “Mama” which Leah’s eyes widened in delight, cupping her hands on her tiny face and peppered kisses over her little face, “And thank you to you too, baby Gooner. I love all of my presents from you too.”
The morning was somewhat as relaxing as it could be with a 9 month old who was now crawling, pulling herself to stand up and doing her best to try and walk while holding onto furniture, you made work of spoiling your wife with a special breakfast of pancakes while Leah fed Remi bits of fruit that she seemed to enjoy a whole lot.
“You’re spoiling me today,” Leah murmured, popping a piece of fruit in her own mouth as she watched you flip another pancake in the kitchen.
“Only the best for the birthday girl,” You replied, placing the last pancake on a plate and settling it down in front of her.
Your wife's eyes sparkled with a mix of love and mischief, “You know this is one of the most perfect ways to start my way,” She paused as she took a bite of the pancake and savoured the taste in her mouth, “Mm, it’s delicious!”
“I aim to impress,” You joked with her playfully as you grinned, “I just want to make your birthday as special as possible.”
Leah beamed a wide smile as she continued to munch on her pancakes, “You’re definitely living up to expectations, love.”
After breakfast, you got Remi dressed in a cute onesie with tiny animal prints - the perfect outfit for the trip to the zoo.
“Are you ready to go to the zoo and see all of the animals?” Leah cooed at Remi, who cheerfully babbled nonsense in return and her tiny hands batted at Leah’s face, “There’s going to be so many different ones - monkeys, giraffes, elephants… Oh, and tigers as well!”
“I think she’s definitely excited about it,” You grinned, watching as Leah strapped Remi into the pram once you had gotten out of the car at the Zoo.
Leah crouched down, her eyes bright with a playful energy, “What noise does a Tiger make, baby Gooner?” She questioned your little girl, “They go… Roar!” She exclaimed while Remi stared back at her with a blank expression on her face, as if sizing up your wife’s silliness.
You snickered in amusement at your wife’s antics, “Yeah I think she definitely understands what you are saying there, Le.” You teased, shaking your head.
“Of course she does, cos’ she’s our clever little girl,” Leah insisted as you made your way towards the entrance of the zoo, quickly paying for the tickets and heading inside, excited to see all the different animals, “What should we go and see first?”
“I think the monkey’s first,” You walked hand-in-hand with Leah, your wife pushing Remi’s pram along the winding paths of the zoo, the noise around the zoo filled with the faint sounds of the animals amongst the chatter of families enjoying their day.
“Look, Remi! Monkeys!” Leah pointed excitedly, leaning down to get closer to Remi’s eye level, “Can we see them jumping around?”
Remi, however, didn't seem that bothered and decided that chewing the ear of a stuffed giraffe toy was more exciting and her eyes barely flickered towards the monkeys.
“Not impressed, huh?” You chuckled, watching as Remi babbled to herself, blissfully unaware of the monkey’s putting on a show.
“Wow, tough crowd,” Leah laughed, shrugging her shoulders, “There’s still time to warm up to them I suppose.” She added.
“Maybe she’s just saving her excitement for the rest of the animals,” You suggested playfully as you continued walking towards the giraffe enclosure.
“Wow, look how tall the giraffes are,” Leah lifted Remi up from her pram and pointed out the giraffes that were stretching their long necks towards the leaves, “What do you think about them, baby Gooner?”
This time, Remi seemed slightly a bit more curious about the giraffes as her eyes widened and she followed Leah’s hand, trying her hardest to reach her little hand out to grasp them from afar.
“Seems like she likes them better,” You noted with a smile, watching as Remi stayed captivated by the giraffes, “Maybe it’s the height?”
“Or maybe she’s just a giraffe person,” Leah teased, kissing your daughter's cheek before settling her back in the pram to continue your way around the enclosures, “Next up… Elephants.” She declared.
Continuing your journey, you arrived to see the elephants as you crouched beside Remi, “What do you think of the elephant, Remi Roo? They’re so big and strong!” You exclaimed, making a gentle trumpet sound with your lips and attempted to imitate an elephant.
“Very impressive love,” Leah laughed in amusement and shook her head, “And you think I’m silly – Isn’t she silly, Rem? Mumma’s a silly billy,” She cooed, trying to bring out another smile from your grumpy little girl who was apparently disappointed to leave the giraffes.
“I don’t think she’s a fan,” You noted, watching Remi take a short glance at the elephants before her attention shifted back to the giraffe toy that she kept clutched in her hand, “I’m definitely sensing a favourite animal already.”
“I think you might be onto something there love,” Your wife shared a fond smile with you as she peered down to watch your daughter chew intently on the ear of her toy, “I wonder what she’ll think about the tigers instead?” She asked.
“Well, we’re about to find out,” You told her with a small shrug of your shoulders as you couldn’t help but feel curious about it yourself.
Making your way to the tiger enclosure, Leah stopped in front of the large glass panel separating you from the striped cats lounging in the midday sun, “Look, Rem! Here’s the tigers!” She crouched down with Remi, bringing her face closer to the glass, “Remember how it goes? Roar!” Your wife growled playfully, imitating the big cat.
To your surprise, Remi’s eyes widened as she took in the sight of the tigers and after a moment of contemplation, she let out a delighted growl of her own to mimic Leah’s sound.
“Wow, we have our own little tiger!” Leah exclaimed, her laughter ringing out as she hugged your daughter close, “Remi the tiger, huh?” She added.
“I think she just might be,” You laughed in agreement, watching the fond moment of your two favourite people together, “I’d say it’s a toss up between the giraffes and the tigers.”
As you continue your journey around the zoo to see the various different animals, taking in the sights and sounds, you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and the happiness swelling inside you.
“I think our baby Gooner might just be a tiger fan,” Leah noted, kissing Remi’s small forehead tenderly as your little girl giggled in absolute delight.
“Can you believe that she’s already 1?” Leah questioned in shock as you took the moment in bed reminiscing over the last year while Remi slept in her room next door, “It feels like only yesterday we were bringing her back from the hospital, doesn't it?”
“It really does,” You hummed in agreement, your voice filled with a mix of nostalgia and awe, “Our little girl is really growing up.”
“Where did the time go?” Your wife wondered aloud, enjoying the moment that you were wrapped up in her arms as she traced gentle circles on your bare skin.
“We blinked Le, and she grew up, Le,” You admitted, a gentle voice, “All those hours of labour – This time last year we were at the hospital, I was screaming at you and now, here we are.”
“Here we are now,” Leah repeated, her voice softening, “I forgive you for shouting at me. It was all worth it to meet our baby Gooner.”
You chucked in amusement, “You’re still not letting that nickname go, huh?”
“Nope,” Your wife said with a smirk, “I’ll still be calling her that even when she’s 16 years old and sneaking out the house.”
You frowned and shook your head, “Okay. That is not something that I want to even think about any time soon, Le.”
“Oh, and just all these months ago you were winding me up for not wanting her to grow up,” Leah teased you as she pressed a gentle kiss on your collar bone, “What has changed now?”
“I realised that she’s growing up too fast,” You admitted quietly, biting your bottom lip.
“Do you think it’s time for another one?” Leah spoke her thoughts aloud, anxiously awaiting your answer.
You raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Another baby?”
“No, another puppy,” Leah retorted, rolling her eyes, “Yes I mean a baby – Think about it! Wouldn’t it be great for Remi to be a big sister?”
“I love the idea of that, and the puppy as well,” You told your wife, a genuine smile on your face.
“Whoa slow down there,” Leah couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s just do one thing at a time, eh?” She joked.
“Let’s do it,” You agreed with Leah, nodding in triumph.
“Yeah?” Leah checked to make sure you were sure.
“Yeah!” You repeated your wife’s words, “Let’s make another baby.” You add quietly, pressing your face against hers as you share a tender kiss.
“Mu… Mumma! Mummy!” Remi’s small voice broke the baby monitor in the room and interrupted the moment.
“Sounds like the birthday girl is up,” Leah said, sharing a look with you.
“We’ll come on then, we’d better not keep our 1 year old waiting any longer,” You said reluctantly getting out of bed, quickly chucking on one of your wife’s old Arsenal shirt and a loose pair of sleep shorts.
“Nope, I already don’t like the sound of that,” Leah said in dismissal as she shook her head, “She’s still too little to be 1 already.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle in amusement, “Le, she’s walking and talking. She’s not too little.” You reminded her, gently as you made your way into your little girl's bedroom.
“Mumma,” Tiny hands reached up for you to pick her up and you didn’t hesitate to waste the time and scoop her up into your arms, making you realise it’s important to treasure moments like this.
“Hi Remi Roo,” You cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to your daughters forehead, “Happy birthday. You’re 1 years old.” You added, holding her close to you.
“Yep, even hearing you say it aloud like that, I don’t like it at all,” Leah appeared behind you and as soon as Remi heard your wife’s voice, she was reaching towards her, “Hi baby Gooner. Who’s birthday is it, huh? Todays your very special day.”
“You have to get used to it sooner or later,” You remarked playful as the three of you made your way down the stairs to begin breakfast ahead of the day full of celebration with your friends and family.
“Nope, definitely not. She’ll always be little in my eyes,” Leah stated, less than thrilled at the idea of you growing up right there in front of her eyes, “Won’t you, baby Gooner?”
As the day went on, you were so excited to be able to celebrate your little girls’ first birthday with your closest family and friends as they all began to arrive - The house was decorated with pink decorations, several large balloons dotted around the room as a large banner read “Happy 1st Birthday, Remi!” in colourful letters, and the smell of birthday cake wafted through the hair.
The first guests to arrive at your house for the small celebration were the majority of Leah’s teammates, who all came bursting through the door with several presents for your daughter.
“There’s the birthday girl!” Beth’s loud voice filled the house, walking through the front door with a present in her hand, “Hi, baby Gooner! Happy birthday.”
“I still can’t believe you girls have a 1 year old,” Lia said, exchanging hugs with the two of you and gently running her thumb over Remi’s face, “Look at you growing up.”
“Don’t remind us,” Leah murmured against the idea, returning the hug with her best friend.
You snickered in amusement at your wife’s expense, “Leah’s almost having a breakdown about it, again.” You teased, looking over at the girls.
Leah gasped, nudging you playfully with her free hand, “Way to out me like that, love,” She tutted, though there was a hint of a smile on her lips as she spotted Amanda and the rest of her family walk through the front door, “There’s Nana, shall we go and say hi?” She asked, turning her attention back to Remi.
The moment that Remi saw Amanda, her face lit up and the woman wasted no time in scooping her up, “Hi sweetheart,” Amanda cooed, cradling your daughter with affection, “Happy birthday! Look how many people are here to celebrate your special day, huh? Wow. You’re one lucky girl!”
“Happy birthday, angel,” Berny stepped forward and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Remi’s head, “One already? Where’s the time gone?”
“Hi, Remi Roo!” Jacob gently lifted Remi’s tiny hand into a fist bump against his own, “Happy birthday to you!”
“We’re so glad you could all make it,” You said, raising your voice slightly to address the growing number of guests in your living room.
“We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Holly replied with a warm smile, “It’s Remi’s special day!”
You felt a surge of happiness seeing so many people here to celebrate. It was exactly the kind of day you’d hoped for – full of love, laughter and little moments that would make Remi’s first birthday unforgettable.
“We’re about to light the candles on the cake!” Leah announced, her voice bright with excitement.
“Ah, the best part!” Beth joked with a wide grin.
“The only reason I’m here– Ow!” Kyra started, feigning a pained expression as Alessia playfully nudged her, “Alright, I was just kidding. Of course, I wanted to be here to celebrate Remi’s first birthday… The cake is just an added bonus!”
Leah carefully lit the candles on the cake while you held Remi in your arms. As the lights dimmed, the room hushed for a brief moment before everyone began to sing.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Remi, happy birthday to you!” The joyful chorus filled the room as a wave of love and warmth washed over you.
“Happy birthday, baby girl,” You whispered, leaning closer to help Remi blow out the candles as you gently puffed alongside her, and everyone erupted into cheers and applause.
“Happy birthday, my baby Gooner,” Leah moved closer and peppered kisses on your little girl’s face as she giggled joyfully, “I can’t believe you’re already 1. Don’t grow up on us too fast, okay? You are the best thing that’s ever been ours.”
And just like that, the first year of Remi’s life was complete, with many more chapters to be written.
leahwilliamsonn and y/nwilliamson posted
Liked by liawaelti, bethmead_ and 92, 432 others.
leahwilliamsonn: just like that, our baby gooner is one years old! 🥹🎂🥳
what an incredible journey this whole year has been to watch you grow up right in front of our very eyes 👣👶🏼
happy birthday, remi! mumma and i love you so, so much! 💗
© scribblesofagoonerr
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#arsenal x reader#woso imagine#woso#woso one shot#arsenal women x reader#leah williamson x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#scribblesofagoonerr
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Long Snake Moan 2
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Loki
Summary: your boss gives you a task you're not prepared for.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Loki glowers at the people around him as you approach. You have to resist the urge to turn and run away. Thor helps in that. You know he won’t let you turn back. Not to mention the man who sent you.
He looks over as Thor calls his name and slaps his arm, “told you, not very long at all.”
“Mmm,” Loki narrows his eyes and his lips thin. He sends you a cursory sneer. “You came all this way for... Stark’s minion?”
“I believe her title is Executive Assistant,” Thor corrects him.
You give a helpless look. A pursing of your lips that must look painful. Loki doesn’t look at you again. His cheeks tauten and his eyes roll towards the ceiling.
“Right, um, this isn’t very easy to say so... um, Mr...” You look at Thor and he just shrugs. “Loki, erm, alright. So the thing is--”
“Oh, you know, there’s a cafe I’ve been wanting to try. Steve, you know Steve, he recommended it. Why don’t we sit down and discuss?” Thor claps your back and nudges his brother. You grimace and Loki looks less than impressed.
“Be out with it.”
“Oh brother, don’t be rude. Come. You could do with a bit of a treat. You’re in a foul mood.” Thor reproaches.
“I wonder why that would be,” Loki hisses.
“Well, as I was saying, I saw they have a special on. A turtle donut? Turtle on a donut? I’ve never heard of such a thing,” he rambles and drags you both across the lobby.
“It’s not... well, doesn’t matter,” you let the murmur drift off.
You don’t have much of a choice, or the strength to resist him. You’re ushered out of Stark Tower and towards the cafe you pass on your way in. You stopped in once for one of their holiday lattes but you don’t often get the time to have coffee outside the stale breakroom brew.
Loki shakes off his brother and follows behind. Thor lets you in first and holds the door. He makes his brother go ahead of him and you join the queue around the counter.
“What would you like?” Thor asks.
You bob up and down as you search the cafe. You flinch as you realise he’s talking to you. “Oh, I’m fine--”
“I insist. Now please, coffee or tea? A late?”
“Latte,” Loki corrects him.
“Yes, that.” Thor laughs at himself.
“Well, I’ll just have a small tea. That’s fine. Um...” you look up at the menu, “Earl Grey is fine.”
“Black tea, large,” Loki starts before you’re even done speaking. “Since you’re being generous.”
Thor grins and leans over to look inside the display case. “No sweets?”
“No thanks.” You answer. Loki doesn’t acknowledge the question, instead glaring at those who stop to stare at his brother. Several lenses are aimed in Thor’s ambivalent direction.
“May as well find a seat,” Thor stands as the barista motions him up to the cashier, “I’ll find you.”
You glance over at Loki as he ignores you, rather pointedly as he lifts his nose. You shuffle away and go to an empty table in the corner. You sit against the wall and twiddle your fingers over the table.
To your surprise, Loki sits across from you. You fidget as your eyes continue to wander around him, never landing on him. He sighs and you chew your lip.
“Get on with it. I am not in the mood for socializing, especially not with... whatever you are.”
You tilt your head and your mouth. Right, this is not going to be fun. He has the right idea of it though. It’s best to just get it over with.
“Okay, uh, right, Loki, sir,” you twist your hand around your finger. “Prince?”
He blinks dully. You nod, egging yourself on.
“Mr. Stark sent me to tell you something. And I’m very sorry to be the one to tell you this but--”
“Tea.” Thor booms as he drops into the chair next to his brother, nearly dropping his armload.
He doles out the cups and gleefully unwraps his donut. You’re sweltering as you notice the audience behind him, entranced by not only his size but his fame. Loki’s cheeks pinch in irritation as he peeks over his shoulder.
“So let me just get it done with. Um, you... you...” you frown and your eye brows dip down then pop up. You struggle to find the right way to say it. There really isn’t on. “You cannot stay on earth.”
Loki spins back to you, his chair scraping on the floor, and Thor chokes on his mouthful of chocolate, pecan, and dough. Both of them make confused noises.
“You’re being deported. I... I’m sorry.”
“Deported? Who says I cannot stay in Midgard? Who would make me leave?” Loki scoffs.
“It... it wasn’t my decision. I was only sent the paperwork and I tried to give it to Mr. Stark--”
“No doubt he had a hand in it. How can this be? I am a refugee. It was to my understanding that the status guarantees me safe harbour.” He blusters.
“Brother, please, don’t be angry at the little one. She is merely the harbinger.” Thor coaxes.
“I’m sorry,” you begin, squirming as your body’s encased in flame, “I understand it’s not ideal but--”
“You understand?! You understand nothing. My home was destroyed.” He snarls. “How is it I am to be dejected and my brother is free to stay?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry, I wasn’t... I didn’t...”
“Brother, please, she cannot be held responsible--”
“Don’t tell me who or what!” Loki shoves him away. “Curse this planet and curse Stark.”
A green flash has you flattened against the back of your chair and your vision speckles. You blink as only an empty chair remains next to Thor. He shakes his head at it and takes another bite. He looks at you and shrugs.
“Let him have his tantrum. We’ll simply have to try again.” He breaks off a piece of his donut, “you must try this. It doesn’t even taste like turtle. Much sweeter.”
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More Than One Valentine
A/n: All mistakes are my own. Written on my phone.
Stucky x Reader, Bucky x reader, Stucky, Steve x reader
AU: you finally get Steve and Bucky together- now you need to work out what to do with yourself abs your broken heart.
Warnings: angst, smut, 18 plus only please, fluff, FWB situation, presumed unrequited love, polyamory, MMF, bisexual Stucky, Dom!Bucky, sub!Steve, switch!reader
-
Bucky and Steve finally shared their first kiss on Valentine’s Day.
It was a bittersweet moment for you; you’d been trying to get them together for too long and now you had nothing to do, nowhere to go.
In a twisted and complicated situation you’d ended up as a FWB to both of them. It started with Bucky, a wet night with only his leather coat for shelter turned into desperate kissing and more. Then three months later he was on a mission and Steve had come in from a date in a terrible headspace.
You called Bucky because you didn’t know what else to do. Bucky’s advice was to screw Steve’s brains out.
“What?” You stuttered.
“He gets too into his head, you gotta’ help him clear it out doll,” Bucky said in that gruff tone.
“I - but - we-“
“Go ahead. I don’t mind sharing our arrangement with Stevie. Always shared everything with him anyway, you’re no different,” Bucky said as if you were an old coat or a favourite book.
It hurt, deep in your gut like a hand twisting it savagely, but you brushed it aside. You were just a couple of friends who tamed an itch. Bucky probably did it with lots of girls and guys. You weren’t his only one. You couldn’t be.
So you fell into a routine with them. If Steve had any reservations he didn’t share them and his mood changed, not just that night but overall. He was lighter, different like he had a plan again.
It was obvious they were in love, that they wanted each other. Everyone could see it, especially you. You spent most time with them, you saw the subtle touches, kind words and gentle gestures. You would find them making each other breakfast, or always making sure the other one was drinking enough water.
And the sex was …even? You never spent more time with one over the other. You went from one to the other than back.
Sometimes you didn’t even get to shower; after a night with Steve Bucky would drag you to his room in the morning to taste you while Steve went on a run. Sometimes Steve would come in after a long stint of being Captain America and bury his face in you pussy moments after Bucky had went to his own room.
“I can’t take it. They’re ruining my vagina,” you complained to Nat one evening after too many cocktails. The and my heart was left unspoken but you both knew it.
Nat had laughed anyway because in that moment you both needed to laugh. “Set them up.” She poured another drink. She wasn’t even following recipes any longer. It was shots of hard liquor that burned in the best way.
So you did, you made sure the floor you all shared was off limits, you lit candles and played soft music, dimmed the lights. You got your hands on some Asgardian Champagne, scattered rose petals and made sure both their bedrooms had ample supplies of lube and toys.
You made sure your own room had noise cancelling headphones, snacks and a queue of your favourite shows all lined up to make sure you didn’t think too much. Or hear too much.
You should have prepared for a broken heart.
Here they were after confessing their love and finally kissing as they stood in front of the massive windows. You were on the couch, you needed to start them off, convince them to take the leap, but as soon as they got lost in each other you stood and slipped away.
At least you tried to.
“Where are you going?” Steve asked, his voice small and vulnerable.
You froze and looked over your shoulder. They were both looking your way, faces unreadable.
“To give you both some privacy,” you said quietly.
“But we need to thank you,” Bucky’s voice was equally soft.
You offered them a smile, it was genuine because you were happy for them, you just realised too damn late that you’d fallen for both of them.
They walked towards you, a pair of supersoldiers, one beefy the other sculpted. One dark the other light.
Two pairs of blue eyes burned into your skin. You felt like crying, because it was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen and all they were going to do was hug you then get on with their lives.
Bucky caught your hand and pulled you towards his body but he turned you so your back was to his chest.
“Say thank you Stevie,” he growled.
Steve immediately dropped his mouth to yours. The kiss was gentle, just a brush of his pink lips as they pressed into yours. He pulled away after the kiss that was not just friendly. “Thank you.” He had that sincere look, the honest voice.
Your heart broke a little more.
And then Bucky was turning you in his arms and looking down at you. Steve’s big hands rested on your hips as he held you in place for Bucky. Bucky was rougher than Steve, his lips pressed you harder more demanding making you weak at the knees.
Where Steve asked Bucky took.
“Thank you,” Bucky said, a tiny smirk at the corner of his mouth. “Now where were we?”
And they started kissing over your shoulder. They moved close crushing your body between theirs, hands holding you still as they explored each others mouths.
You gasped and tried to slip away but you were trapped. You tried harder only for them to part and Bucky looked at you with hard eyes.
“Stop squirming doll, I’m kissing on my fella and you’re distracting me. You’ll get your turn.” You gaped up at Bucky but his focus was back on Steve. “Come ‘ere you.”
You could hear the wet noises of their kisses, could feel their physical reactions as you stood trapped between their hard bodies.
When they pulled apart for air you found yourself turned back to Steve and he was kissing you, desperate now as he licked into your mouth. He let out a needy moan as he lifted you and you had no choice but to wrap your legs around him.
“So fuckin’ sexy,” Bucky growled. His hands were on your hips and ass and it took you a moment to realise you were moving towards Steve’s bedroom.
Steve fell back on his bed and looked up at you with doe eyes, lips parted and pure trust. And something else you couldn’t place. You were straddling his waist when the bedroom door clicked shut.
“Don’t mind me,” Bucky sat on the chair in the corner, and you looked between them. Maybe this was one last night with them, and you would make it count before they got on with the rest of their lives without you.
In the bedroom Steve was submissive. It had surprised you at first; but it made sense. Steve carried the universe on his shoulders sometimes so it was natural that he’d want to forget. So you were what he needed you to be. You took charge, took care of him, made it so that he didn’t need a plan or a rousing speech in the bedroom.
Bucky was dominant, that didn’t surprise you at all. He needed control, where he’d been tortured before now he thrived in giving pleasure in making decisions, on taking care of his lovers. You let him take care of you, you basked in and enjoyed it. You loved the attention.
And you were the perfect switch between them giving each of them what they needed.
You bit your lip, nerves running through you but you pushed it aside to try and enjoy one last night with them both.
“Colour?” You asked.
“Green!” Steve said urgently.
“Steve, take your clothes off,” you said. Steve immediately sat up and unbuttoned his shirt slowly, looking between you and Bucky but you clicked your tongue and Steve’s eyes flew to you. “Eyes on me baby, you have him all to yourself soon enough.”
Steve’s eyebrows scrunched and Bucky shifted in his chair but you stayed still watching Steve. He folded his shirt then toed his shoes off, and as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it from the loops he looked down at you, holding it between big hands.
Bucky sucked in a breath as you nodded and Steve set the belt on the bed for later. He sat and removed his socks then his pants.
Once upon a time his cheeks would have been red by this point but Steve had gotten past that, he trusted you and with his attention on you the fact that Bucky was sitting right there didn’t even phase him.
His boxer briefs were navy blue, and it was obvious he was aroused by the whole situation. He looked at you as he thumbed the waistband.
“Won’t be much fun with them on will it Soldier?” You teased and his cheeks flushed a slight shade of pink before he started to push them down. “Eyes on me.” You reminded him and his confidence returned.
And then Steve was naked, standing tall and proud and fully erect. You looked at Bucky and he was watching the two of you with something that looked like pride.
“Why don’t you get your ring, plug and the lube?” You suggested to Steve.
Bucky groaned and you glanced over at him as Steve scrambled across the bed to grab what he wanted from underneath. “Do you want to cut in?”
Bucky smiled, warm and genuine and for a second your breath caught. “Yes,” he said softly. “But not yet. I’m dying to see where this goes.”
When you turned back to the bed Steve was kneeling in the middle, eyes wide and wet lips parted. “You look like a horny puppy.” You told him and it made him laugh.
You didn’t say anything else as you removed your clothes and Steve settled down to watch you, waiting patiently with his hands in his lap.
When you got to your bra and panties you hesitated but Bucky’s soft voice rang in your ears. “All of it.”
You looked over at him, making eye contact to acknowledge you’d heard him then nodded, holding his gaze.
You removed your bra, then panties and Steve let out a gentle moan.
“On your back baby,” you told Steve. He complied immediately and lay back, spreading his long legs so you could settle between his thighs. He handed you a pillow and you thanked him with a kiss to the lips then helped him place it under his hips. “Do you want your belt?”
Steve nodded eagerly and you handed it to him. Steve lay back with his arms stretched above his head holding the belt in his hands.
“Colour?” You checked.
“Green,” Steve said.
“Steve is such a good boy that he stays like that until he’s told to move,” you told Bucky. “Well, most of the time.”
Bucky laughed softly and you drew your focus back to Steve. Bending you kissed his thighs, nipping at sensitive skin. As you moved closer Steve moaned and gasped until finally you were pressing a chaste kiss to the base of his cock.
You kissed lower until your tongue reached his tightly furled ass, and then with wet licks you proceeded to help him relax. You didn’t notice Bucky get out of his chair, not until you saw the black vibranium hand resting on Steve’s knee.
You pulled away and looked up at him. “Too much for you?”
“Christ Dolly you’re killing me,” Bucky’s voice was rough with arousal.
You giggled and got back to your task. It wasn’t long before you were sitting up and drizzling lube on your fingers. You warmed it up then pressed two against his puckered hole.
“The lube is edible and flavoured. Steve likes his asshole eaten,” you said conversationally to Bucky.
Steve whined and you grinned up at him. You shuffled closer and took the tip of his cock into your mouth, licking the pre-cum and sucking the skin as you curled your fingers. Steve cried out and you took him deeper, breathing through your nose as he filled your throat. You loved this, Steve at your mercy as you pleasured him.
When you finally felt the hairs at the base of his cock tickle your nose you pulled back and reached for the cock ring. “He doesn’t really need this, he has a refractory period just like yours but sometimes he’s over eager. He can get…messy.”
Steve moaned softly, hearing you talk about him as if he wasn’t there was driving him insane in the best way.
“You know him well,” Bucky praised. He was right behind you now looking over your shoulder, still fully clothed apart from his shoes and socks. You hadn’t noticed him taking them off.
You reached for the plug next, it was a smaller one, black, with a flared base. It slipped in easily but Steve moaned and arched his back. You turned it slowly and watched his chest heave.
“How do you feel?” You asked Steve.
He nodded and met your eyes. “I feel yeah-“
“Colour?” You asked.
“Green,” Steve practically slurred.
You chuckled and then settled back onto your haunches. Bucky looked at you curious for your next move.
“He’s all yours,” you whispered looking up at him.
A big hand cupped your cheek and he kissed you softly. “He’s all ours Doll.”
Your heart skipped a beat and you wished that were true but you pushed the hope away. This was about getting them together. Nothing else.
Bucky kissed you, his movements lazy but dominating and he gripped your soft skin. His hand slipped between your legs and you’d been able to ignore your needs until now but as soon as his fingertip brushed your slick puffy lips you sighed and leaned into Bucky. His other hand moved to your hair and he fisted it just enough to pull your head back. “I’m so proud of you. Watching you with Steve, so proud of both of you.”
You felt the blood warm your cheeks at his praise and snuggled against him.
“Now, I’m going to undress. I want you to get a reward for being so good to Stevie, what do you say Steve?” Bucky asked easily taking over the room.
Steve nodded eagerly. “Yes, please, baby, sit on my face?”
“Yeah, I want to see that. Go sit on his face baby,” Bucky kissed you again. You did as he asked, turning so you could watch him. Steve didn’t let go of the belt as his tongue dove inside your folds, lapping and sucking at your juices.
Steve moaned and Bucky’s sharp eyes zeroed in on you. “Hovering baby girl? That’s against the rules,” Bucky warned.
Steve moaned again and you chuckled, giving Bucky a bright smile. “I know he’s been good, but he has to earn it,” you teased.
Bucky smiled softly and removed his black boxer briefs and then he was kneeling between Steve’s spread legs. He skimmed his fingers along the sensitive skin on Steve’s thighs and you could see Steve tremble. You close that moment to rest your full weight on him for a few seconds, knowing he needed it.
His moans vibrated through you and then Bucky was kissing you. “Good fuckin’ girl.”
Bucky touched Steve and every time he cried out or trembled you rested your weight onto him, calming him.
And then Bucky was bringing the plug out, replacing it with his fingers. His eyes flicked up to you as Steve sucked on your clit.
“Cum baby,” Bucky said. You didn’t even know you were waiting for permission. You cried out as your release washed through you, making your toes curl. As you came down from your high Bucky kissed you. “Now go clean him up.”
You moved fast, straddling Steve’s tummy and kissing over his face, licking into his mouth. You were so busy kissing Steve you almost missed the deep groan he let out. Two hands, one warm and one cold lifted your hips and then Steve’s cock was sliding snugly into your soaked cunt.
“I’m going to fuck both of you now,” Bucky warned.
“Please Bucky,” you whined.
Bucky’s hand slid into your hair and he grabbed a thick fistful as he pulled you back against his chest.
“Look at you,” Bucky growled in your ear as his other hand slid around your throat. His nimble fingers trailed your body, plucking at your nipples, squeezing soft flesh, tickling your hips and exploring the area where you and Steve were joined. “Our perfect girl.”
“Bucky,” you turned to him squeezing your thighs. Beneath you Steve grunted as you squeezed his cock, his eyes never leaving you and Bucky.
“Colour?” Bucky asked you.
“So fuckin’ green!” You said.
“Stevie, baby I need you to hold onto her, make sure she has some support. Hands up,” he said.
Steve let go of the belt and raised his hands, palms up and fingers wide. “Good boy baby,” Bucky praised. You reached out and pressed your palms to Steve’s, let your fingers tangle and lock together.
Steve tested the pressure, moving you slightly and you couldn’t help but giggle as he practically used you as a weight, lowering you to kiss his lips then pushing you back to Bucky’s chest.
Bucky let out a soft laugh at the two of you and hooked his chin over your bare shoulder. “Show off,” he said to Steve. Steve, in a happy headspace blew him a kiss.
Bucky started off gentle, his thrusts going through Steve and into you. Bucky was taking his time, working out this new position as he managed both of you.
His hands returned to your body, his fingers strumming over your body. He knew every nerve, knew what made you sigh and squeal, what relaxed you and what wound you up.
With a palm on your back he pushed you forward until you were lying on Steve’s chest. His right hand gripped your butt cheek, moulding the flesh and you knew it was coming but you still yelped.
Steve grunted, you were squeezing his cock again. “Do you know why I’m spanking you?” Bucky’s voice cut through your brain fog and you nodded.
“I broke a rule,” you slurred. Steve kissed your cheek and forehead as he simply observed. “I hovered.”
Bucky grunted in agreement and a few more slaps landed on you. “You had a good reason though so I think that’ll do.”
Bucky’s hands moved over your back as he curled over you both. His right hand cupped Steve’s cheek. Kissing each other in this position would be impossible so he ran his thumb over Steve’s lips. Steve opened his mouth and sucked Bucky’s thumb in. Bucky groaned at the sight and the sensation.
“You good there Sweetheart?” Bucky asked him.
Steve’s smile was dopey, despite Bucky’s digit in his way and he nodded, his eyes shining. “Never better.”
The words were garbled but easily understood none the less. As Bucky pulled away he kissed your cheek.
Bucky started to thrust again and you moved back to sit on Steve, that’s when you realised you couldn’t feel the cock ring. Bucky must have removed it from Steve and you were grateful because you didn’t think you had the ability to remove it at this point. You were a soft Dom, you didn’t like delaying or preventing orgasms, you were too needy yourself.
You kissed Steve’s chest and face as Bucky fucked him and Steve sobbed into your mouth when your lips met. Bucky’s movements were getting more aggressive and Steve was gasping and thrashing in pleasure.
“Is he good?” You prompted.
“So good, I’m - it’s - he’s amazing,” Steve said.
“Shush, baby hush, he’ll hear you and his ego will be insufferable,” you teased.
Bucky laughed, his hand sliding around your throat and pulling you back to his chest. “So rude,” he grunted as he kissed you, his fingers finally brushing over your clit.
Steve came first after you clenched around his cock, your body chasing Bucky’s fingers, and you followed a few moments behind him. The familiar stutter of Bucky’s breathing told you he’d found his release too.
“You two will be the death of me,” he said as he kissed your neck and shoulders and helped you untangle yourself from Steve.
A warm cloth was cleaning you, hands were moving you and you realised Steve was getting the same treatment as he sighed in contentment.
Bucky got into bed on the other side of Steve and smiled softly at you both.
“I should go,” you said suddenly.
“No!” They both said at once.
You shifted. “But I- this was about you two.”
Steve pulled you on top of him then rolled over, pinning you between him and Bucky. “Going nowhere.”
Bucky chuckled. “Darlin’ we’re crazy about you, if you haven’t noticed. I know you like to talk about feelings and stuff but we’re doing this my way. You’re my best girl, he’s my best guy, we’ll work it out from there.”
You opened your mouth but your words betrayed you so instead you snuggled into their arms and enjoyed their warmth. Maybe this could work, maybe the three of you could find peace.
“Besides,” Steve yawned, “you negate our stupid.”
You giggled. Bucky slid a leg between yours and rested his hand on Steve’s chest.
Meanwhile deep inside your own chest your heart sang.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#stucky x reader#bucky barnes smut#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#stucky x you#smut#smutty stucky#soft dom!bucky#sub!steve#switch!reader
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The Songcord - Neteyam
[ Neteyam x Omatikaya!reader ]
Request: Can I request a Neteyam x Omaticaya!reader
Author’s note: I recommend listening to From Darkness to Light, The Spirit Tree, and The Songcord if you have tissues prepared
Warnings: angst, mentions of blood, death
Word Count: 3,101
“Feels like I haven’t been here in ages,” you muttered, hands brushing the glowing strands of the tree of voices. Kiri and Tuk were already immersed in their own worlds, not hearing a thing you were saying. Spider was out exploring on his own, eyeing the sky, the flowers, the tree, and basically everything else.
“Better make the most of it then,” Lo’ak replied, attaching his queue to a strand.
Neteyam was standing near the bark, and it looked like he wasn’t going to join them any time soon, so you followed Lo’ak and did the same.
It had been a while since you’d done this, or had been anywhere near the tree at all. Although there were plenty of excuses to use, you knew you were just scared of what you’d see.
It was moments like these, where you’d hear and see your actual parents, that made you afraid. You had been fighting so long to earn your place here with the Sully’s.
Even though you started off wanting to befriend the family of the person who insisted on becoming your friend, it’d grown into something deeper over time. And every time you looked back to your parents whenever you visited the tree made you realize that you could never have what you actually wanted.
The feeling overwhelmed you, screamed at you until the bond was forcefully broken and you were thrown back off your balance. You didn’t know what was happening, but you could somehow make out Lo’ak’s muffled yelling over your blurry vision and ringing ears.
“Neteyam!”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know!”
“Move!” You felt hands grasping your shoulders, but you were too caught up on trying to breathe to see who it was. It felt like the air was sucked out of you and none of your senses were working properly. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re here.”
There was no coherent thought on what was going on, but you could feel the thumb gently rubbing small circles on your shoulder.
“Shh. You’re okay,” Neteyam whispered, leaning his forehead to yours.
Your shallow breaths slowly returned to normal, and you started to make sense of what was happening. You could start to feel the numbing of your legs from the uncomfortable position, and you could see Lo’ak’s worried gaze on you. You started to hear Neteyam’s comforting words clearer and feel the way he was holding you.
You heard the sigh of relief Lo’ak released when you felt yourself calming down and Spider running towards you, closing your eyes to let yourself succumb to Neteyam’s comforting hold.
He kept his eyes closed and forehead pressed against yours for as long as you’d like to assure you that he wasn’t going anywhere. It was only when you felt the numbing of your legs begin to worsen when you pulled away, finally looking at your surroundings.
Kiri and Tuk were still engrossed in their memories and it looked like they did not witness the scene that had just unfold beside them, much to your relief. You didn’t know how you’d explain this to the cheery child.
“Hey, you okay? What was that?” Spider questioned.
“I don’t know.”
They all decided to leave you to yourself and give you time to think, well except Lo’ak who wasn’t going to let it slide that easily.
“What did you see?” he asked as he sat down beside you, leaning his head against a tree.
“The usual.”
“Then why did-“ Lo’ak stopped himself with a sigh before he could interrogate you any further. “Don’t leave me hanging for too long. Talk when you’re ready.”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Guys, it’s dark out we need to get back.” You heard Kiri call out from a distance.
“You were the one that took so long,” Lo’ak replied as he stood up, offering a hand to you for support.
“Let’s go, children.” Neteyam rallied everyone, placing a hand on Tuk’s back when she almost lost her balance.
You all ran back from the way you came, anxiousness gripping at each one of you when you saw the sky completely dark, the only thing lighting it up were the stars and moons.
But there was no room to worry about curfew when all you could think about was what had happened back there. Everything happened so fast you could barely process it.
“You coming?” Neteyam’s voice pulled you from your thoughts.
You looked up to the boy waiting for you, his head turned back to face you expectantly. In a matter of seconds, you regained your senses and jumped up to the branch near him.
Maybe you didn’t really regain all of your senses after all, considering how you slipped on the moss and fell backwards. Lucky for you, Neteyam had incredible reflexes, grabbing your hand before you managed to fall. Being the Olo’eyktan in training had its perks.
“Careful.”
“Thanks,” you muttered half-heartedly.
Neteyam decided he wasn’t going to press you further on it, giving you some space for whatever is going on in your head.
The branches suddenly felt further apart than they were, and your legs felt heavy as you leaped from branch to branch, following the Sully kids.
“Mom’s going to be so mad,” said Kiri as she ran past Lo’ak to catch up with Spider. Poor Tuk was left behind, so you grabbed her hand and matched your pace with the youngest Sully.
“Come on, Tuk,” you encouraged her when you saw the big jump she had to make. She pursed her lips and made a running start before leaping, Neteyam steadying her balance on the other side.
“Go ahead, I’ll be right behind you,” he whispered as you passed him.
You could see the circled-outlines of the moons in the sky, their glow being the only thing that allowed you to see your path, apart from the glow behind the opening in a tree bark that indicated you were finally there.
“And where-“ Neytiri started as Neteyam joined your circle. “Have you all been?”
Technically you weren’t actually family, you thought as you slowly backed away from them. With it being so dark and you standing on the edge of the group made your escape seem pretty easy. Neteyam noticed your movements but didn’t comment on it.
“You too.” You froze in your spot, Neytiri’s eyes trained on you like a spotlight.
You doubted that they saw you as family, but Jake and Neytiri had an odd way of making you feel like it. You had been a little younger than Tuk when Lo’ak had found you, and from there, each day you spent with the Sullys brought you closer to the family. But in times like this, you wished you didn’t feel like part of the family enough to escape Neytiri’s scolding.
-
“Why do they get to do the fun stuff while we sit here? I’d rather join them.”
“Suit yourself. I like it here,” replied Kiri.
Just on time, you stopped your pacing and ran out to the sound of the people shouting for the war party. The scene that greeted you wasn’t what you had initially expected, but it was no surprise either.
You kept your distance as you watched the two boys look down guiltily when Kiri approached, trying to drag the older brother out of the situation.
However, the huge gash on Neteyam’s chest worried you more than anything. His tail was swishing gently, showing the unease he felt.
Eventually, Jake let them both go and you followed them into the tent, and when the boys saw you, their faces lit up.
“Hey,” you approached Neteyam who was sitting on top of a wooden table with Kiri tending to his wounds.
“I’m offended you didn’t come to me first,” grumbled Lo’ak from the corner of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest stubbornly, and the bright look turned into a sour one.
Although you knew he was messing around, you heard some truth in his words. Besides, it was Lo’ak that had befriended you first, and it was him that had spent his nights up to no good with you when his brother was busy being a good child.
“Missed you too, Lo’ak.”
“Ouch. Can you not?” Neteyam flinched as Kiri pressed into the cut a little too forcefully.
“Do you want me to help?”
“You’re doing this on purpose.”
“No I’m not,” she scoffed before pressing his wound even harsher, making him slap her hand away. “Now that was on purpose. You do it, I’m gonna find Tuk.”
Kiri gave you the bowl before exiting the tent. You were never one for healing, but you saw her plenty of times and she knew that. It was usually Kiri that did all the work when her brothers came back all bruised and bleeding.
“It’s fine. I don’t need it anyways,” Neteyam argued and started to get up when you smeared the sap on his cut.
“It’s deep. You’ll get an infection.”
“No it’s-“
“Sit down.” You gently pushed the hand that wasn’t holding the bowl to his chest and Neteyam sat down. He kept his eyes on you as you continued working on him, making sure to be extra gentle.
“I’m still here,” Lo’ak called out, unamused. “This is getting sappy. I’m leaving.”
“How come you’re younger than me and you get to boss me around all the time?” Neteyam started once his brother was out of earshot.
“I’m Lo’ak’s age.”
“And I see him as a baby.”
You sighed, feeling around his head to find any injuries. Neteyam could tell you were distracted and that your thoughts were everywhere but here with him just from the look in your eyes. You’ve been welled up in your thoughts ever since your last visit to the tree of voices, and the change of mood that came with it was evident.
“You okay?” Neteyam finally decided to speak up, wincing when you pressed on a sore spot in his scalp.
“Hmm?”
“You’ve been like this for the past week,” he explained. “Distant.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on. I know you better than that. Lo’ak thinks it has something to do with me and he won’t shut up about it.”
“I’m fine.” You applied the sap with just a bit too much pressure on his head and he grasped your hand in his, bringing it away from his head.
“I won’t tell him,” he started when you finally looked at him for the first time ever since Kiri left. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
Neteyam saw your hesitance and reached for the bowl in your other hand to set it down next to him. He lowered his voice, speaking gently as if he was afraid of hurting you. “What happened when we were in the tree of voices?”
“I don’t know. I saw my parents and when it stopped I just panicked and I don’t know why. This never happens. Then I started thinking about your family and how they don’t really consider me a part of their family made me wish I had something like that.” You didn’t even realize the tears were falling until you felt Neteyam wipe the ones that fell to your cheeks. He stood and put an arm around you to bring you into an embrace, allowing you to bury your face in his shoulder.
Every welled up thought and feeling from the past week you’ve tried to shove as deep in the back of your head as possible suddenly resurfaced all over again. Maybe you were too scared to admit it, but Neteyam’s comfort was what you’ve been needing.
“You’re as much of the family as I am,” he softly assured whilst pulling away, tilting your chin upwards with a finger to look at him. “It might not look like it, but we all care. Even mom and dad.”
And then Neteyam did something stupid.
He leaned in to press his lips against yours, his grip around you tightening to pull you closer. You could taste the salt from your own tears as you responded with the same amount of intensity, all the built-up emotions finally pouring out into the kiss.
Your hands reached out to wrap around his neck when you felt his tail brush against your leg, the slow loving movements indicating how blissed out he was.
You weren’t sure how long the two of you stayed in that tent, but when you pulled away breathlessly, Neteyam did the same with visible effort.
“How am I going to tell Lo’ak?”
Neteyam breathed out a small laugh and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against yours.
“I’m more worried about dad.” At his words, you parted from him anxiously. “Relax. You’re family. If anything, they’ll be more worried about you than me.”
He wasn’t wrong. Jake looked like he was having a panic attack when the two of you told him and Neytiri.
“You want to tell me how this happened?” He pointed between the two of you who looked like guilty kids that had gotten caught stealing. You both glanced at each other hesitantly as Jake grew impatient waiting for an explanation from either of you.
“Neteyam kissed me.” Your voice came out so quiet you weren’t sure whether you’d said it out loud or if you’d only said it in your head.
Jake and Neytiri looked purely out of it. They cast their son a look while he looked anywhere but at his parents.
“Neteyam,” Neytiri warned.
The Olo’eyktan made sure to make the list of rules clear for the both of you. No wandering off too far alone together and definitely no sleeping together, even just next to each other separately. Jake mentioned how he knew it wasn’t uncommon considering how you’ve been doing that since you were children, but now it was off limits. He also mentioned a whole set of other rules and how he would kill Neteyam if the boy laid a hand on you or hurt you in any way.
In a way, the protectiveness they held towards you made you feel welcomed and accepted. It made you feel as if you were actually part of the family. And even more so when they offered you to join them to pursue lands beyond the Omatikaya clan.
Since the only people you’ve stuck to since you were young were their kids, Jake and Neytiri knew you’d be devastated if you had to part with them, especially when you were now attached with their eldest son.
There was no dismissing their offer from your side either. You weren’t going to leave the only people who truly knew you, and you weren’t going to leave Neteyam. Though you had to admit, you missed the forest just as much as everybody else.
“What’s that?” asked the youngest Sully as she peeked over your shoulder to get a closer look at what you were holding.
“A bracelet I’m making for you.” Her face brightened even more.
“It’s pretty!”
“It needs more shells. I’ll fetch some more outside and woah-“ your eyes widened when Neteyam and Lo’ak entered, all bruised and bloody. “What now?”
“Got into a fight with Tsireya’s brothers. They were picking on Kiri. Hey Tuk,” Lo’ak said, ruffling his sister’s hair.
“You too?” You looked at the older brother.
“What? Was I supposed to stand there and watch him get beaten up?”
“I could’ve handled them on my own.”
Neteyam snorted. “No, you’d be with Eywa if it wasn’t for me.”
Lo’ak grumbled his way to Tuk, who looked like she had so many questions for him. He picked up the bracelet you made and twirled it in his hands, earning an angry protest from his sister who snatched it away from his hands.
You were about to leave to go shell-hunting when a thought passed through your head after seeing blood on Neteyam’s lips.
It looked like it hadn't dried up, so you acted on impulse when you approached him and brought your hand to his jaw to pull him into a gentle kiss, making sure to lick his bottom lip where the blood was.
The kiss took Neteyam by surprise, and once he was about to respond, you pulled away, leaving him puzzled.
“You got blood on your lips,” you whispered, tracing your fingers along his jaw before reluctantly letting go.
“Gross, you two. Poor Tuk’tirey’s tainted.” You barely heard Lo’ak’s words as you walked away from them.
The rest of your days were filled with the same routine. You’d learn a thing or two from the Tsireya and then Lo’ak would stir up trouble with her brother and his friends. How they had managed to get along after some time was a miracle.
Everyday was filled with new discoveries of their waters. Tuk would ask to see something new almost every hour, and being the favorite, you’d accompany her almost every time. If you weren’t with Tuk, you’d be sitting somewhere with Kiri. If you weren’t with Kiri, you’d be exploring the waters with Lo’ak, and if you weren’t with Lo’ak, you’d be discovering new places on land with Neteyam.
Today, you were with Lo’ak, and you hadn’t expected that warning his Tulkun friend would turn into something much much worse. You weren’t even sure how it came to this point.
You were escaping the sky people when Kiri, Lo’ak and Tuk were taken. It was one thing after the other and the next thing you know, you were trying to keep your composure as you watched Neteyam writhe in pain from a bullet wound in his chest, your palm caressing his jaw to let him know you were here.
It’s okay. He’s going to be okay.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Jake voiced your thoughts.
“I want to go home.”
No. It’ll take more than a bullet to kill you.
“I know, I know. We’re going home.”
No. No.
You felt your heart breaking followed by a tear with every sob and pained sound that came out of his mouth.
“It’s okay,” you quietly assured him as your thumb gently stroked his cheek, the first word you’ve spoken coming off as a whisper.
Neteyam glanced your way one last time at your voice before the pain in his eyes turned lifeless and his convulsing body went still.
“No. No, no-“ Neytiri begged and it felt like the air was sucked out of you. “Neteyam!”
You couldn’t even hear your own scream over the ringing of your ears. Everything happened all too fast.
“Neteyam,” you sobbed, cradling his head close.
You can’t leave me. Come back.
:)
#neteyam#neteyam x reader#neteyam x omatikaya!reader#avatar#avatar: the way of water#i was listening to the songcord while writing#i’m not okay#wasn’t planning on adding neteyam’s death scene#but oh well#neteyam imagine#imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#drabble#oneshot#fluff#omatikaya reader#x reader#angst#gender neutral reader#headcanon
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