#pray that it’s gone by the morning lol
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My throat hurts :( not ideal when I have super busy weekend planned
#concert tomorrow#derby day and eras movie Saturday#anything and everything to distract me from exam results day Sunday#pray that it’s gone by the morning lol
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dbf Logan Howlett x fem!reader
Summary: Your dad sends Logan over to help you build some furniture in your new apartment, unaware you'll end up with Logan's head in between your thighs.
Genre: SMUT (nsfm)
Warnings: swearing, mean!logan, dom!logan, sub!reader, possessive!reader, fictional age gap (reader is early twenties), praise, degradation, unprotected sex, mentions of not being on the pill, oral sex (f and m receiving), power dynamics, kinda dubious consent in the beginning but not really lol, sweet aftercare
~ i have no clue what i'm doing with his character 🥲 be kind pls ~
LOGAN HOWLETT MASTERLIST
"No that's what I told him," you chuckle, holding your phone to your ear as you struggle to open one of your moving boxes with the scissors in your other hand. Your friend on the other line returns your chuckle and continues to ask her nosey questions.
You're interrupted by a sharp knock. "One second, my dad's here! He's helping me move some of my furniture around and also assemble them—" you say and leap over some other moving boxes to your front door.
"Hi Da–" you exclaim, holding the door open only your voice suddenly becomes stuck in your throat when you see that this certainly isn't your dad. Your eyes round and your hand falters on your phone. The man before you is one of your dad's closest friends.
"Logan," you whisper, which earns a questioning remark from your friend in your ear and you press your hand over your phone's microphone.
Logan pulls his dangling cigar from his mouth, a cloud of smoke escaping his lips and heading for you. You cough and he smirks. He's towering over you, dressed in a casual pair of dark denim jeans, a thick gold-trimmed belt, and a white tank top that accentuates his muscles. You look away in an attempt to ignore that familiar stirring in your stomach.
"Your Daddy sent me." Logan's voice is hoarse as he looks you over. You feel exposed in the baggy shirt and tiny shorts you're dressed in. "I was in around anyways and he mentioned you needed someone's help with some furniture," he peers in behind you at the mess you'd made of your new apartment.
"Mm. Came round' to help a lady out—" he reaches over and hangs up your phone for you. He shakes it and smirks, "Rude to be on the phone when you have visitors, honey."
You stare at Logan again, taking him in. Your stomach fills with familiar butterflies from your schoolgirl crush but if your dad trusts Logan, you should too. "That's very kind," you say honestly and let him inside, taking your phone and setting it on the counter. You pull up your shirt to cover more of your shoulder and curse your choice to go braless this morning.
You point to all the boxes and the array of furniture in the living room as you walk. "Well, this is all of it," you say and turn to him, watching as his knuckles flex.
Logan hums as he looks around and then down at you. "Now why don't you fetch me a cold beer, sweet girl, so that I can start on this," he moves an Ikea box with his foot, "pink vanity," he smirks.
You feel warmth in your cheeks but don't argue with him as you walk to the kitchen. You aren't gone for long as you come back with his beer. Logan stands directly in front of you, a screwdriver in his palm.
His lips curl upwards and you pray he hadn't heard you. "D'you have any more screws, honey?" he asks you simply, tilting his head.
You nod, looking through a drawer to find him some more screws.
Overall, it takes Logan only two hours to set up your vanity, desk, and some other shelves as well as move your furniture around just how you want it. You're sitting curled up on your couch, trying so hard not to stare at Logan's arms as he wipes some sweat from his brow, and finishes the last touch-ups on some of your shelves.
"Shit," you suddenly jump up, "I'm late! It's Cam's house-warming party! I-" you're interrupted by a strong hand suddenly wrapping around your arm, causing a shiver up your spine, and your breath hitches when Logan roughly pulls you into him.
"Is that all?" he whispers, his lips near your ear, and you whimper. That only makes Logan tighten his hold as he leans down, his face in your hair as he inhales your scent and chuckles darkly, "I come here on my own time, to help you and you don't have the decency to say a simple thank you? Tsk, how disappointing."
"T-thank you," you say instantly, squirming as your cheeks warm and your heart pounds in your chest. You feel him pressed up behind you as he keeps you still. It's intoxicating and you're slightly scared.
He knows it too. He can smell it on you.
Logan spins you around, his hand coming up to your cheek as he looks you over.
"Has your dad never taught you any manners?" he asks calmly as he observes your reaction to his words. You feel small under his gaze. Logan looks so intimidating now as his hands find your hair and he pulls it back, smirking when you whine in pain.
"No," he hums, "you're not leaving this apartment yet. Someone has to teach you a lesson in respect, you fuckin' brat."
Your heart is pounding, staring at him with those round glossy eyes he loves so much. You feel your arousal pool in your stomach and shame consumes you. Logan's lips curl cruelly and he shifts closer, his body pressed to yours as his other hand crushes the sides of your mouth as he sees the tears stream down your cheeks. "You look much fuckin' prettier like this—with your eyes all glossy and dumb," he smirks and continues, "Now why don't you sit down like a good girl and tell me exactly how much cock you've taken."
Logan drops your jaw and pulls out a chair for himself as you sink onto the couch again. He straddles the chair from behind, crossing his arms, and fakes a pout as he leans his chin on his forearm. "I wonder just how much can your pussy take, huh? Six inches? Seven?"
It feels mean. "Why are you doing this?" you ask, shrinking into the cushions.
Logan smiles. "Because I can, and I want to," he shrugs, "And I think you want this too. No, I know you want this too."
"I don't want this, whatever this is! I'm telling my dad—"
Logan chuckles darkly, "Your threats don't scare me," he tilts his head, "and do you know why, honey?"
You glare at him, refusing to shake your head so he continues, "Because I know your cunt is dripping right now, am I right? I can fucking smell you from here," His words travel to your core and you squeeze your thighs on instinct. Logan sees this motion and smirks, "You can pretend all you want, but I know that look in your eyes. I've seen it enough times to know you're just like all the other girls; horny and desperate."
You feel overwhelmed as his words make you feel so good, your chest heaves as you watch him. Logan stands, smirking as he walks over and unbuckles his belt. He wastes no time, making a clicking sound to indicate that he wants you to unzip him. You just continue to stare at him, unable to wrap your head around that this is happening.
"Hurry up, sweet girl, I don't have all damn day. Thank me properly."
"Logan—"
"Don't you pull the virgin bullshit, Y/n. I know you've been fucked. You're too much of fucking dirty slut not to have had someone's dick inside you," he chuckles deeply and earns a small whimper from you as embarrassment settles in your stomach. "Now make me feel good."
You sink to your knees, eyes still glossy as you fumble with his zipper. As much as you wish this wasn't hot to you, your pussy is screaming at you that she needs Logan. Logan seems to know because he smiles.
"Your poor cunt needs me, huh?" he teases and takes himself out of his pants, stroking himself as pre-cum beads at his tip. "I'll reward her if you're good for me."
You lean forwards and he smears his cum on your lips, enjoying the look of you on your knees for him as you service him. He's impressive and every time he pushes into your throat, you cough a little and pull away, your eyes becoming watery.
"I'm sorry," you whisper after a while, succumbing to him just like he wants as your voice quivers.
Logan pets your hair, soothing his large thumb across your forehead. "Shhh, my sweet girl, I'll take care of you."
And he means it because he wastes no time in having you sprawled across your new couch, legs spread wide as his tongue flicks across your clit, lifting the hood. He's enjoying the way you wail behind your hands, tightening your thighs around his head. He pushes your thighs apart, bruising them to his liking as he laps at your cunt.
"L-Logan," you whimper, your eyes rolling back in your head. You need him. "Please," you say and attempt to sit up, your makeup smudged from his rough kissing and your hair a mess. Your mouth tastes like Logan's cum and your pussy is aching for his cock inside it.
"Fuck, you're such a mess," Logan smirks, licking your juices from his lips. "Thank me again."
"Thank you for helping me," you whine, arching up. "Please, need you."
Logan stands and strokes himself again, caging you in with his muscular arms and the tip of his cock glides over your clit and then your entrance. You mewl, nails gripping his arms as you cry from both the overstimulation and also the restraint he's shown.
He grunts as he pushes inside, going inch by inch so you can feel all of him. He peppers kisses across your jaw andwhispers sweet nothings into your ear. You're a whiny mess, drool falling from your lips as your mouth is perpetually open as you moan, feeling the delicious stretch of Logan's cock.
How can something so wrong feel so right?
"Your Daddy will kill me, honey," he whispers as he kisses behind your ear, his thrusts starting slow and precise. "Defiling his baby girl like this—fucking her perfect cunt," he grins, "only you aren't his baby girl anymore, hm? You're mine. All mine." He sinks his teeth into your neck, grinning as he marks you.
"Mhm, yes, I'm yours, all yours."
Logan's thrusts become deeper and harsher. "Fucked the brat right out of you."
His kisses continue as he's fucking you roughly, enjoying the sound of your small whines because he knows he's making you feel so good. Finally, you come around him and wrap your arms around him, tears staining your cheeks as you tremble. Logan follows, emptying himself inside you.
"I'm not on the pill," you sniffle, too hazy to truly think of the consequences.
Logan can't help the way his heart leaps with excitement at this information but he pushes it down. He can't do that to you. Not now at least.
He pulls out, thinking of the mess you'd both made later as he kisses your lips. He's tender this time and he strokes his hand in your hair again. "I'm going to run to the store and get you a plan B, m'okay?"
He sees how fucked out you look and he grins, caressing his knuckles down the apples of your soft cheeks. "My sweet girl, look at you, so messy."
You frown, eyes droopy. "It's your fault," you whine.
Logan chuckles deeply and removes himself from on top of you, picking you up effortlessly in his arms. "I know, sweet girl, I know. You made your bed, hm?" he whispers and you snuggle instinctively in his arms. You nod. He kisses your forehead again, his body relaxing with yours.
"I'm going to take care of you now, honey—" he promises, "—you're mine. All mine."
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#james logan howlett#james howlett#logan wolverine#wolverine#the wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x y/n#wolverine smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#hugh jackman#x-men#x men#marvel#logan howlett x fem!reader#wolverine x female reader#wolverine x fem!reader#tw smut
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what you know - ch7: yuletide || r. sukuna
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 11.2k.
❦ a/n ; happy holidays to those who celebrate! this was originally intended to be a little bonus chapter but as you can see, it kinda got away from me LOL. so i hope you enjoy <3
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter
“Kunaaaaaaaa!”
Walking back from Choso’s friend’s house, Sukuna inhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m right here, quit yelling, brat.”
“You’re not listening though!” Yuji pouts, tugging at his arm until he kneels down.
And god, Sukuna’s head pounds the moment he’s lowered himself down to his little brother’s height. His mind is practically screaming at him, begging him to lay down in the dark and sleep just a little bit longer.
With a sigh, Sukuna rubs at his temple. “What, Yu?”
“Cho’s friend said they’re having a big, big Christmas dinner with turkey and stuffing and veggies and- and- potatoes, and they have a big tree and decorations and they have family traveling to see them-”
Sukuna lowers his hand from his head slowly, eyes narrowed in an attempt to fend off the effects of his hangover following his night of drinking, partying, and chicken fingers as he listens to Yuji go on about the holidays.
Christmas.
Aside from saving a bit of extra money to get gifts, Sukuna hasn’t exactly had the luxury of stopping to think much about it. He supposes he could have, and probably should have focused on that yesterday rather than going to Gojo’s party, but he needed a night to himself more than ever before with the lawsuit weighing down heavily on his shoulders.
He’s not thrilled that in his drunken stupor he dragged you into the fray of his issues with his step-mother, if Sukuna even dared grace her with such a name, but somehow it doesn’t seem quite as dire with you on his side.
“Seeeeeeee!” Yuji groans, catching Sukuna lost in thought. “You’re not listeningggg!”
His jaw tightens. “I’m listening,” he grumbles, gritting his teeth as he drags his palm over his face.
He casts a glance at Choso, who’s blankly staring at the exchange between his older and younger brothers, and Sukuna wonders if the twelve-year-old is worrying about him right now. He wonders if this is one of those moments that his own kid brother is contemplating his well-being.
With a pang in his heart, he grimaces and gives Yuji his full attention. “You wanna have a big Christmas?”
Yuji nods eagerly. Swallowing hard, Sukuna prays he can provide that and not dull the light behind his eyes. The reality is that no matter what he does, there won’t be a big extended family, or a turkey, or even a big tree. The most he can manage is a small tree, a couple of friends, and some decorations from the dollar store.
Yuji isn’t old enough to remember the holidays with their dad, and his mom was gone so soon after he was born that Sukuna doubts he remembers her at all, let alone a holiday with her. Choso surely remembers both, though during their first holiday as just the three of them, Sukuna destroyed the illusion of holiday merriment and the joys of waking up on Christmas morning to gifts from Santa.
It wasn’t on purpose, but he had no clue what he was doing. He wasn’t in a good place mentally, nor did he have the money for much more than a hoodie Choso had wanted. The closest thing they’d had to a Christmas that year was Uraume surprising them by coming over and cooking dinner. Since then, it’s become tradition. Uraume never expects a gift in return for cooking a full Christmas dinner and even leaving the leftovers, but Sukuna makes an effort regardless to return the favor.
With a huff, Sukuna stands at his full height, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he gives in to his little brother’s request. That’s how he finds himself pushing a cart through the dollar store with his brothers in tow and a mean hangover that seems to have no intention of relenting anytime soon as the sterile white lighting beats down on him.
“What about these?” Choso holds up a stack of Christmas plates and napkins.
With a glance at the price, Sukuna mutters a ‘sure’, only because nodding makes his head absolutely ache.
Leaning over the cart, Sukuna watches Choso grab reasonable items, while Yuji shovels anything and everything he can into the cart.
“No,” Sukuna mutters each time a plush, massive wreath, or Christmas themed cookies make their way into the cart.
“Kuna, can we pleeeaaase at least get these?” He begs, holding up a pair of light-up antlers. He clicks a button on the ears, causing the lights to flash.
“No, Yu. Put ‘em back.”
Yuji pouts, staring down at them in his hands as he fiddles with the fabric of the ears. The little boy glances back up at Sukuna with wide, glassy eyes and sure enough, his resolve crumbles.
“Fine. Grab a pair for Cho, too.”
Yuji parades around the cart with a series of ‘yay’s and ‘thank you’s, and even Choso’s eyes light up as Sukuna leans further over the cart until the wheels are squeaking in an effort to support his weight.
The aisle is a blur of pink hair as Yuji bounces around the decorations, lips pursing into a big ‘o’ as he points at a small Christmas tree with lights strung around it. With a yawn, Sukuna mildly watches as Choso tries to talk the pink-haired child down from the tree that’s on the more expensive side for the dollar store, but even his eyes go wide with wonder as Sukuna reaches over them and sets it in the cart.
Remember when everything at the dollar store used to actually cost a dollar? Sukuna certainly does.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Sukuna sighs, leading the way towards the exit as Yuji talks his ear off about how he wants to watch Christmas movies. As he goes on about how he’s never seen Home Alone, Sukuna watches the cashier scan their items, his brow furrowing as he sees Choso pull a Santa hat out from the pile in the cart. “No,” he scolds, holding his hand out to his brother expectantly.
Usually the reasonable of the two kids, Sukuna simply raises a brow when Choso continues his motions, placing a second Santa hat on the counter. The poor employee has paused with an uncertain expression, taking note of the debate going on between the two siblings.
“Choso,” Sukuna growls, holding his hand out more expectantly.
The boy grabs a third Santa hat, placing it on the counter as well.
“Choso,” Sukuna hisses, reaching forward to grab the hats off the counter but the little boy snatches them away first.
“Please, Kuna.”
“No. Antlers or hats, not both.”
Yuji grabs his brother’s hand in solidarity, pouting up at Sukuna.
“No, brat. That won’t work twice.” Losing patience, Sukuna pulls out his card, silently threatening to pay and leave if they don’t choose.
“Kuna, please. I won’t ask for anything else,” Choso pleads.
He falters, his thumb running over the chip on his card as he shoots the dark-haired Itadori a glance from his peripherals. Why the hell does he want these hats so bad? He’s not sure he understands, but the extra few dollars won’t kill him, and if he’s being honest, there’s another reason behind his sudden leniency with the two kids.
There’s a small nagging thought in the back of his mind that this might be his last holiday with the brothers. It’s not something he wants to consider, not when he thinks his guardianship for the last three years over the two of them should count for something in court, but he can’t deny the feeling of unease that has him giving in to another request.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, using his spare hand to massage between his brows in an effort to dull his headache. “Fine.”
Yuji cheers happily as all three hats flop onto the counter. The cashier shoots an uncertain glance at Sukuna, who scowls down at the hats at the realization that there’s three of them, which means one’s for him, but he keeps his mouth shut as they scan the last of the items.
With a tap of his card, he tucks it back into his wallet, handing each of his brothers some small, lighter bags, while he grabs the tree.
The walk back to the apartment is grueling between the excited ramblings of Yuji, the overcast sun assaulting Sukuna’s hungover senses and the melting snow that’s giving way to a particularly icy sidewalk. How convenient.
Finally reaching their apartment, Sukuna lobs the tree down on the ground and unceremoniously tosses himself over the couch. At his height, his legs dangle over the edge of the couch, but it’s such a relief to lay down that it feels comfier than ever. He drapes his arm over his eyes to shield himself from the natural light flooding in through the windows as his brothers take it upon themselves to decorate the apartment.
He must have drifted off, because the feeling of Yuji tugging on his hoodie jolts him awake very suddenly. Dazed, he drags his hands over his face harshly before cracking his eyes open. His headache has dulled enough that he can function without the sharp pain of a pounding head, but he could definitely have used some more sleep.
“Will Rume be here this year?” Yuji asks as he tugs at Sukuna’s hood.
“Christ, brat, you’re gonna choke me,” Sukuna gruffs, pulling the collar of his hoodie back down. “Yeah, they’ll be here,” he confirms, carding a hand through his hair. Much like Sukuna, Yuji hasn’t quite gotten Uraume’s name down, but they’ve never seemed to mind.
Yuji bounds off with tinsel in-hand, tossing the glittery strands of foil over a kitchen chair. With a yawn, Sukuna sits up and takes a look around. “Oh, fuck me,” he mutters under his breath as he realizes that the apartment is no longer just overrun with beaded lizards, but there’s now tinsel strung up on every surface that the two boys could reach. The apartment practically looks like a craft store threw up in it.
A muscle in his jaw ticks as he stares at the absolute fire hazard that the stove is looking like right now and he sighs, pushing himself to his feet to get his laptop. The two kids go barreling past him in a fit of laughter, nearly bowling him over if he weren’t so steady on his feet.
“Hey. Hey! No tinsel on the stove, you two know better!” Sukuna barks. They don’t even cast him so much as a glance, but Sukuna can’t be bothered to deal with the issue himself right now. Flopping down on his bed, he leans against his headboard and opens his email.
He scarcely remembers letting you know he got home last night as you’d requested, having passed out shortly after sending the email, but he’s somewhat surprised to find that the timestamp from your email is from late last night as well. You must have stayed awake until he emailed to make sure he was safe. Something stirs in his stomach at the thought, but he quickly pushes it aside.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:42 AM
Good to hear, Kuna! Get some sleep, thanks for the ice cream!! :)
He lets out a breath of relief at seeing you type his nickname, thanking any god that will listen that you aren’t upset with him anymore. Especially with how much he’d fumbled his shitty apology, completely ill-prepared and inebriated. Even sober, he doesn’t think he would have been prepared, but drunk and high? It’s a miracle he pulled it off at all.
“Kuna?”
Sukuna peers over his laptop to the doorway, his usual disinterested stare falling on a head of messy pink hair. He doesn’t respond, but Yuji knows he has his brother’s attention as crimson eyes look over his hopeful expression.
“The stove is clean.”
“Good.”
“Sorry,” Yuji fiddles guiltily with the hem of his Sonic the Hedgehog shirt.
Sukuna hums in acknowledgement.
Yuji continues to fiddle with his shirt before hopefully asking if Sukuna is inviting you to Christmas dinner. His eyes are wide and full of optimism as he takes a step towards Sukuna.
“She’s probably spendin’ Christmas with her family,” he replies mildly, reaching up to scratch his jaw.
“But we do dinner on Christmas Eve anyway,” he points out, a tradition started to make sure they could include Uraume.
Sukuna sighs, clicking on the reply button to your email as he mutters out a “fine.” Yuji jogs over to him and leaps up onto Sukuna’s bed, crawling to his side to watch as he types out an email to you. Sukuna huffs, grimacing at his little brother before typing out a message to you.
[email protected] - Saturday, 1:08 PM
got christmas plans?
“That’s it?”
Sukuna’s brow furrows. “What’s wrong with that?” He grumbles, the full pain of his headache beginning to return at the judgment from the five-year-old.
“Ask her to come over!” Yuji insists.
Frowning, Sukuna playfully shoves Yuji’s face away from his screen. “Go finish decorating with your brother,” he huffs, watching the giggly kid hop off the bed with a bright expression. “If, and I mean if she’s free, I’ll ask. Got it?”
Yuji nods, running towards the door excitedly before pausing. “Oh! Can we also invite-”
Sukuna sighs as he begins rattling off a couple of Choso’s friends, as well as his own from Kindergarten.
He’s definitely in over his head this year.
–
With one final piece of tape, you secure a red ribbon over a small green box, setting it alongside two bigger, more slender boxes. One for Sukuna, and one for each of the boys.
Piling the gifts into a bag, you set them at the door and finish getting ready.
Your holiday plans had gone very quickly from a video call with your family and a cozy movie night alone with your laptop to a brunch with Suguru’s family, a dinner with Satoru’s, and dinner with Sukuna and the boys. Of course you appreciate Satoru and Suguru for making an effort to include you, but there’s something deeper to the idea of having Christmas dinner with Sukuna that you can’t deny.
Over the past week, you had helped pick up the kids from school a couple of times, so Sukuna had presented this as a way of ‘paying you back’, but your conversations with his little brothers had you thinking there was more to this than just paying you back. Yuji talked non-stop about Christmas movies and a big dinner and how he was beyond excited for the big day. Sukuna seemed tired at the mere concept, but Yuji was adamant that you had to be a part of it, and there’s no world where you’re willing to let down the sweet little boy.
Picking the kids up from school had also given you the opportunity to scheme with Choso about Sukuna’s gift and you’re pretty sure you nailed it.
With a final once-over of your outfit, you nod to yourself in the mirror. A cute red wool Christmas sweater hangs over your frame decorated in stitches that form the shape of reindeer and snowflakes, with a pair of black leggings adorning your legs. You make your way to the door and pull on a pair of knee-high heeled boots to complete the look, pleased with the cute and festive outfit.
When you arrive at Sukuna’s door with some fresh-baked Christmas cookies (those cute Snowman ones from Pillsbury that are to die for), and the gifts for all three brothers tucked into a bag hanging around your arm, you hit the button for their intercom and wait for a response. After a few rings, the buzzer seems to die and the door doesn’t budge. Blinking a few times, you pull out your phone to check you have the right date and time.
December 24th, 3:00 PM.
With a furrowed brow, you juggle the cookies and gifts to hit the buzzer again. Maybe they just didn’t hear it. It rings once, twice, three, four times, and you’re sure it’s about to die when static sounds over the speaker and excited screams can be heard. Not unusual, but it sounds much more chaotic than usual.
“Hello?” Choso’s voice finally sounds in the brisk afternoon winter air.
“Hey Cho, it’s me!”
He doesn’t reply, but the door buzzes as it unlocks for you to make your way up. Before you can knock, Choso pulls the door open for you with a toothy smile, his cheeks rosy.
“Hey, Cho!” You grin and take your boots off as he closes the door behind you and adjusts his absolutely adorable reindeer antlers with sparkling red and green LEDs.
You’ve hardly taken a step into the apartment when the madness of the apartment hits you, quite literally.
Yuji barrels into your leg in a hug, matching antlers to Choso’s adorning his head as he giggles and grins at you. “Merry Christmas!” He cheers, tugging you further into the apartment as you set down your gifts and cookies at the door.
Tinsel is spread across every surface below waist-level, which makes you think the boys did most of the decorating, while a small tree sits on the floor near the TV, lit with sparkling red and green lights. Garland is spread across light fixtures and the warm glow of colorful fairy lights illuminates the dining room. You hadn’t taken Sukuna as the type to decorate to the nines, but it’s heartwarming to see just how much cheer and spirit is spread throughout the otherwise fairly dark apartment.
The real shock as you’re pulled into the living space, is the sheer amount of people all crammed into the living room. Mostly kids between Yuji and Choso’s ages, and one other person who seems to be around the same age as you with snowy white hair, while Sukuna sits on the floor. Displeasure twists his every feature as his youngest brother runs back up to him and a girl around his age with short brown hair. The little boy takes a string of red garland from the girl, clambering over the tattooed man as he strings it up around his broad shoulders. A couple of boys chuckle at the sight of Sukuna decorated like a Christmas tree from where they sit playing MarioKart.
Sukuna grinds his teeth, his jaw clenched as he just barely manages to tolerate his little brother’s antics. You giggle at the sight, pulling out your phone to snap a photo of the sweet interaction, catching Sukuna’s attention finally.
“Don’t,” he hisses at you, fists clenching at his sides.
Biting your lip to conceal your smile, you hold your phone up to him, snapping a photo just in time before Sukuna’s pushing off the ground suddenly. The action of his chest and shoulders rising pulls the garland taut before it splits under the tension, falling from his frame to the dismay of the kids.
Holding your phone tight to your chest, you gasp playfully at the realization that Sukuna’s darting towards you, intent on deleting the photo. You duck quickly away from him, unable to hide your smile as you slide into the dining room where Choso and a couple of friends seem to be playing with Pokemon cards.
“Delete it,” Sukuna growls as he closes the distance between you in a few short strides. An unceremonious squeak parts your lips as he catches up to you and slips a strong arm around your middle, using his other hand to reach for your phone and hold it up to you. You push against him, but he’s not budging even an inch. The feeling of his chiseled abs pressing against your back is dizzying, and you almost forget why he has you tucked into his warmth, until he hisses out another “delete it, brat.”
“It’s so cute!” You protest, wriggling against him in an attempt to slip from his grasp.
Sukuna falters for a split second, swallowing hard as your endeavors to escape from him has your ass brushing against him just right and he prays you don’t feel his body involuntarily reacting to you as his cock twitches in his jeans. Blinking, he scrambles to think about something unpleasant to counteract the thoughts beginning to race through his mind. You twist in his grasp, and he’s reminded of what he’s doing in the first place, pulled back to the present. “It’s not fucking cute. Delete it.”
“It’ll be a good memory for Yuji and Choso!” You insist, putting your full weight against Sukuna’s arm that has you caged against him. He doesn’t move a muscle, not needing to so much as tense to keep you up, he’s just that strong.
His brow furrows as he considers your words, finally huffing as he releases you. With your full weight being supported by him just seconds ago, you barely manage to catch yourself before you go tumbling to the floor, grinning triumphantly when you find your footing.
“If that sees the light of day, I ain’t joining you for lunch anymore,” Sukuna grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.
Standing up straight once more, you tilt your head innocently up at him. “It won’t,” you promise, tucking your phone into a pocket on the side of your leggings.
With a frown, Sukuna rounds the couch and takes a seat beside his friend with white hair cut into a bob. You follow after him, plopping down on his other side. He states your name, casting a glance between you and them. “This is Uraume,” he tells you.
Your eyes light up with recognition, grinning as you wave politely.
They return your wave with a kind smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you,” they comment with a knowing look to Sukuna that he shoots down with a scornful frown. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too!” You grin, happy to finally be able to meet one of Sukuna’s friends. He’s slowly allowing you further into his little world, giving you a piece of him that very few get to see. Though, looking back at the door where your bag of gifts resides, it occurs to you that you had no idea there would be seven kids and three adults here, and you haven’t brought nearly enough for everyone. “Had I known you would be here, I would have brought you something for the holidays,” you comment sheepishly.
“Did Yuji not tell you?” Sukuna arches a brow questioningly as he leans back into the couch.
You shake your head. “No, was he supposed to?” You cast a glance at the little boy wrapping the torn garland around his friend, the two giggling up a storm.
Sukuna sighs. “I figured he would have, the kid wouldn’t shut up about today and Uraume’s been a part of our holidays for a few years now.”
“It’s fine, anyway!” They pipe in, shaking their head. “I don’t need a gift and I certainly wasn’t expecting one.”
“And don’t worry about the kids. They’re all headin’ out for their own dinners soon, but Yu wanted a big Christmas this year, so…” Sukuna trails off, his gaze flitting between both brothers. You know what’s going through his mind, you can see the hollow distance resurfacing in his eyes as his mind grapples with the idea of this being their last Christmas together.
But you aren’t about to let him give up without a fight, so you snap him back to the present with a prod to his shoulder. “So, what are you cooking?”
“I’m not,” Sukuna replies, casting a glance at Uraume, who explains that every year their gift to Sukuna and the boys is a full Christmas dinner, though they replace the turkey with chicken given that they’re in college and that’s one pricey bird.
The afternoon carries on with excited laughter from the kids while you and Uraume learn about one another, while also poking fun at Sukuna, who’s relatively quiet as usual. The kids’ parents slowly begin to pick them up over the course of the evening, and Uraume occupies themself with cooking as the sun sets over the horizon. A merry glow casts over the apartment as fairy and holiday lights shine over the tinsel and shimmer along the walls.
Though not exactly Christmassy, you can also see what Sukuna meant at Gojo’s party when he mentioned his house was overrun with bead lizards. They seem to be strewn across nearly every surface as well, with tinsel tied to them like a second tail.
As the last of the kids file out, Yuji and Choso turn to the Gamecube that Sukuna has long forgotten is yours. You prefer it this way anyway, for it to get some use from the kids than to rot in your storage.
“Have you spoken to, uh, Kento?” Sukuna asks curiously over the sounds of clanking pots and utensils and video game music.
You nod. “He’s willing to help. He has something for me from my parents anyway, so he said we can meet at a cafe when he gets back and he’ll have his friend tag along.”
Sukuna raises a brow. “Does he know he’s doing me a favor, not you?”
“He does!”
“I’m sure he was thrilled to hear it,” Sukuna grumbles, slumping into the couch with his arms crossed over his chest as he stares blankly at the little tree on the floor. His gifts to the kids sit on the floor, nearly blocking the tree itself given its small stature.
“He’ll come around,” you assure him. “He hasn’t really had a chance to get to know you.”
Sukuna hums, his gaze remaining trained on the little Christmas tree. “He’s from your hometown?”
You nod. “Him and Haibara.”
“Mm.” Sukuna drums his fingers over his bicep. “Why didn’t you go home with them?”
With a tight-lipped smile, you join him in staring at the Christmas tree, suddenly finding its intrigue. “I couldn’t afford to.”
Crimson irises tear away from the tree to take in your bittersweet expression. He knows that feeling all-too-well, but it’s never occurred to him that it could be a sentiment you would share. He’s never made any assumptions that you’re rich, and although he has no clue how much or little it costs for you to get home, he did assume that wouldn’t stop you from spending Christmas with your family.
“Mm.” He supposes maybe you aren’t as different as he once thought. Perhaps you aren’t from different worlds, but rather two sides of the same coin. “‘M sorry.”
You turn your attention to him, your usual cheerful expression taking over again. Always looking on the bright side, like a ray of sunshine that seems to find its way through Sukuna’s darkness to light up his life.
He’s only known you for a couple of months, but he wonders when you became such a staple in his life, one that brings warmth to an otherwise cold and hardened man.
“It’s fine,” you assure him. “There’s always next year.” Your eyes crinkle at the corners as you regard the two boys playing Mario Party. “It’s nice to be here, anyway.”
Sukuna follows your gaze, his eyes befalling a game of Mario Party nearing the end that he fears will also end in tears if he knows anything about that game. He blinks a couple of times, taking in the thought that this is the first time in a while that his house has been so filled with life.
One year after another his holidays had diminished in size, beginning with the kids’ mother moving for a job, followed shortly by his father passing away. Along with the passing of his father, Sukuna’s mental health had followed, and what resulted was a Christmas so hollow that he struggles to remember that year, hidden deep within the carefully guarded recesses of his mind.
Yet when he needed them most, Uraume had made their way into his life and bit by bit, they had helped him pick up the pieces and find his footing. Just when he needed you most, you found your way into his life as well, though you were little more than the source of his disdain at first. He considers himself lucky that you’re so resilient when it comes to his snide demeanor, because for the first time in a long time, something occurs to Sukuna.
You and Uraume may not fill the same roles that having parents would have, but you’re both important figures in the kids’ lives and they need the positivity that you bring that Sukuna doesn’t provide. He’s aware he isn’t the best influence for two impressionable young kids, something that he wrestles with daily, but one reassurance remains a beacon when he finds himself doubting his abilities.
Your declaration that he’s their hero.
He’d never considered it before, but he sees it in the way Choso worries for him and understands, even at such a young age, that Sukuna is struggling. He sees it in the way Yuji runs to him to show him the latest basketball trick he’s learned.
So he’s gotta be doing something right.
After an extended silence, Sukuna finally finds the footing to reply to you. “We’re glad to have ya, princess.”
Uraume begins setting out dishes, requesting help as they work on the dinner’s finishing touches. The three of you work together to set the table, complete with a little candle in the center as the smell of chicken floods the apartment.
You narrowly avoid a meltdown by the looks of it as Choso is winning Mario Party by a landslide when Sukuna calls them over, asking them to shut off the TV for the night. Bounding to the table, you let the kids pile their plates high with chicken, stuffing, and potatoes, both completely avoiding anything that so much as touched vegetables. With a scowl, Sukuna reaches over to scoop some veggies onto their plates, met with a guilty frown from Choso and a groan from Yuji.
Once their plates are full, Sukuna insists that you and Uraume go first before he loads up his own plate with enough food to feed a whole family. You can only imagine what the grocery bill looks like for two growing boys and the wall of muscle that is Sukuna.
“This is all amazing, Uraume.”
They grin at your compliment, a warm blush dusting their cheeks. “Thank you.”
“Where’d you learn to cook? I know you’re in the history program with Sukuna, but I’d believe you if you said you were in the culinary program,” you continue, reveling in the flavor of the potatoes.
The shade of their reddened cheeks darkens and they chuckle lightly. “I appreciate that, but I’ll leave the culinary degree to Choso,” they smile, casting a glance at the little boy whose eyes sparkle at the mention of a culinary degree. You suppose that explains why he loves to follow you around in the kitchen so much. “I’m self-taught. I learned during our first year when I got sick of ramen and eating out.”
“I wish I had that same dedication,” you giggle, shaking your head as you go on to mention that the amount of times you’ve had eggs this week should be criminal.
Sukuna shoves his face full of food as he quietly listens to you and Uraume chat, while Yuji chimes in every so often. He can’t remember the last time he had a meal that wasn’t takeout or something he cooked mainly for the boys, who could be a bit picky, which often meant he was having the same few meals with a protein smoothie to tide him over. Apart from the leftover mac and cheese you cooked a little while ago, he thinks the last time might have been a full year ago to the day.
He doesn’t even notice that he’s smiling until you nudge him. “Doing alright, Kuna?”
He raises a brow questioningly, his mouth full of potatoes.
You smile, shaking your head. “Don’t worry about it. How’s your dinner?” You decide not to push him, your heart full when his expression eases as he sits up, leaning back in a relaxed manner.
“Fuckin’ great,” he mumbles through a bite of chicken, going back in for more immediately.
“How many times have I told you to stop swearing in front of your brothers?” Uraume scolds, a playful air to their words.
Sukuna huffs, rolling his eyes. “If I start countin’ how many times you tell me not to swear or smoke, we’ll be here all day.”
“They have a point,” you poke fun at him with a shrug.
“It’s Christmas, get off my case,” he grumbles, leaning over the table.
“Quitting smoking would be a suitable Christmas gift for me, you know,” Uraume points out with a mischievous grin.
“Your gift,” Sukuna growls, no real bite to his words as he points his fork at them, “is learnin’ how to drive. Take it or leave it.” He shoves the piece of chicken into his mouth with a scowl in their direction, grunting when Uraume laughs.
“I suppose I’ll take the driving lessons,” they sigh humorously as though they’re settling.
Sukuna’s narrowed eyes are met with laughter from the table as conversation flows naturally throughout dinner. By the end of the meal, Yuji is practically vibrating with excitement as he casts glances towards the tree where a few wrapped gifts are sitting. Even Choso seems a bit restless, shifting constantly between sitting cross-legged on his chair and kicking his feet.
The moment Sukuna’s second plate of food is clean, Yuji pipes in. “Can we open presents?”
“Let me clean up, Yu,” Sukuna sighs, pushing his hair back from his forehead. It seems a moment’s rest is too much to ask for with two eager kids awaiting presents. Splaying his hands on the table, Sukuna pushes himself to his feet, piling all of the plates onto one to carry to the kitchen.
You gather empty glasses and follow after Sukuna, setting the dishes on the counter.
“Go sit,” Sukuna mumbles without casting you a glance as he rinses off plates and loads them into the dishwasher.
“I don’t mind, really!” You insist, bounding back to the table to grab the leftover potatoes. When you spin around, you’re met with Sukuna’s chest, startling at his close proximity. He pulls the bowl of potatoes from your hand, smirking as you purse your lips.
“Sit.” With his spare hand, he presses down on your shoulder until you’re back in your seat.
Uraume stifles a laugh, exchanging a glance with you as your cheeks warm. “Every year, I cook and he cleans up afterwards,” they explain. Clearly, he intends to keep it that way, giving you a chance to get to know Uraume better.
“How long have you known each other?” You ask as Sukuna continues to clean up, gathering the leftover food into tupperware to keep in the fridge while the two kids talk amongst themselves.
They tilt their head in thought. “Around four years now, I sat beside him on the first day of History 109.” They lean back in their chair, resting their hands in their lap with a chuckle. “He drank my coffee.”
“I thought it was mine,” Sukuna groans from the kitchen.
Uraume smiles wider. “I’m not sure how you thought that. You were drinking black coffee and mine had cream and sugar.”
“I thought classes started at ten, not eight,” he huffs as he pulls more dishes from the table “I was tired.”
“I suppose you needed the caffeine more than I did,” Uraume laughs, their eyes crinkling gleefully at the corners. “But it did mean that he owed me a coffee,” they continue their explanation. “Our friends got along well, and here we are.”
“God knows Toji needed someone to keep him in line,” Sukuna mutters.
“Toji… you mentioned he got you kicked out of Gojo’s once?” You question with a tilt of your head as Sukuna clears the last of the dishes from the table.
Uraume hums. “Sounds like the right Toji. He can be a handful. We can introduce you when classes are back in.”
“I’d like tha-”
“Kunaaaa, can we open presents nowwww?” Yuji interrupts, doing his very best to remain patient.
You giggle at the poor kid, who’s just about bouncing off the walls like a ping pong ball at the rate he’s vibrating in his seat.
Sukuna sighs, shutting the last tupperware lid over the remaining vegetables. “Go wait in the living room.”
Both boys’ chairs scrape the floor as they dash into the living room, excitedly yelling about who gets to open their gifts first.
The tattooed brother watches them with mild interest, returning to the table where he leans over the edge on his hands. “Can you entertain them for a minute?” He glances between you and Uraume. You nod in unison and watch as Sukuna pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Sliding one from the pack, he balances it between his lips and opens a drawer in the kitchen, pulling out a box of matches and striking one.
His cigarette burns like a lone star in the night sky against the backdrop of the twinkling apartment. He inhales as he whips the match through the air to put it out, tossing it in the sink to cool as he waits until he’s on the balcony to exhale smoke.
Before he shuts the door, he frustratedly murmurs something about having lost his dad’s lighter. The door closes with a thud, and he leans over the balcony, his back visibly rising and falling as he sighs.
With the kids excitedly seated in front of the tree seemingly entertaining themselves, Uraume uses the opportunity to turn towards you with a more serious expression, though they remain smiling.
“I appreciate everything you’ve been doing for him. I know he won’t ask for help, but he needs it. He doesn’t seem as burnt out lately.”
You return their kind smile, nodding. “He doesn’t make it easy, but I’m trying.”
They roll their eyes, chuckling. “He certainly doesn’t, does he?” As their laughter dies down, they cast a glance at the kids. “I’m surprised he told you about his brothers though.”
Shaking your head, you blow air from your nose in a wry laugh. “He didn’t. I ran into him after he didn’t show up to work on our project.”
“Oh? In that case, I’m surprised he’s let you in at all.”
“You and me both,” you scoff, shaking your head. “I think most of our friendship has hinged on the fact that he thinks he owes me.”
“Sounds familiar,” Uraume quips, getting to their feet as Sukuna makes the motions of putting out his cigarette outside. He rolls his shoulders backwards in an effort to stretch his muscles before stepping back inside. You follow after Uraume, quickly making a motion to grab the gifts, as well as your forgotten cookies.
“Oh! I- um- brought some cookies,” you hold out the tupperware as you make your way into the living room, setting the container down on the coffee table with the bag of gifts at your feet.
“That’s so kind of you!” Uraume delights, opening the box.
“They’re nothing compared to your cooking, but they were always a tradition back home for me,” you smile to yourself, heat rising to your cheeks.
Finishing the cookie in only a couple of bites, they shake their head. “They’re delicious, and it’s still very kind of you.”
You find yourself grinning, glancing at Sukuna who hums in agreement as he takes one as well. The brothers are close behind as they practically scarf the treats down, their eyes shining.
“Alright you brats, there’s one for each of ya from me, and one to share.”
“Wait!” Choso cries out, scrambling to his feet as he runs down the hall. You watch curiously as he rounds the corner with three santa hats. Adjusting his antlers, he holds them out to you, Uraume, and his older brother, met with two ‘thank you’s, and an adamant ‘no’.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which of the three of you is scowling down at the hat held in his hands.
You nudge his bicep with your elbow, a gleeful smile donning your lips. “C’mon, Kuna. Just wear it for an hour. Look how excited they are.”
Sukuna follows your gaze, deep red irises flicking between the two kids before resting on the hopeful look his middle brother wears. With a sigh, he gives in to both your and his brother’s wishes, pulling the hat on over his tousled pink hair. Even with his familiar grumpy scowl, he looks surprisingly cute in the Christmas spirit.
Though you’re sure if he realized that, the hat would disappear in an instant, so you keep that secret to yourself.
“One at a time. Youngest goes first.”
Yuji scrambles excitedly with the first of his gifts, tearing at wrapping paper around a gift box that’s practically his size. Tossing the paper aside, he flips the box towards him, eyes wide at the five-year-old sized basketball. He gasps in excitement, holding it up triumphantly. “A new basketball!” He proclaims, immediately trying to tear it from the cardboard.
“Slow down, Yu. There’s one more thing in there.”
Yuji curiously peers down at his lap, now noticing the black and red material he’d missed previously. He holds it up, gaping at the realization that Sukuna’s gotten him a custom jersey with his last name scrawled in big red text across the back with his favorite team’s logo on the front.
“No WAY!” He cries out excitedly, standing up and immediately pulling it on over his t-shirt. It’s a bit big on him, but Sukuna figured it made the most sense to get him a bigger size given how fast he’d been growing. “Thank you thank you thankyouthankyou!” Yuji cries, hopping up and down excitedly.
Sukuna’s chest swells at the sight of what he hopes is a Christmas living up to his brother’s dreams while you and Uraume grin at his sides. Even by his own standards, he thinks he could enjoy Christmas if it’s like this every year.
Like a shot to his chest, his mind suddenly reminds him of the impending lawsuit, but he pushes the thought aside, subconsciously pressing his knee against yours.
You cast him a glance at the feeling of his leg knocking against yours, but you can’t make out whether he’s aware of how close you are. Your cheeks warm as you search for a meaning behind the action, but Sukuna’s mirthful expression gives nothing away about his lingering doubts. Likely thinking too much into the action, you let it go.
“Your turn, Cho.”
Sukuna points to a smaller gift wrapped as neatly as Sukuna could manage (which is to say not neatly at all) in snowflake-covered light blue wrapping paper.
Choso grabs the gift, much more timidly opening it. He pulls out a set of kid-sized knives along with a pan sized appropriately for him. “Thank you, Kuna!” He grins, testing out the weight of the pan in his hand.
“Be careful with those things,” his elder brother mutters as Choso examines the knife set. “One more thing in there for you too, Cho.”
Deep brown eyes widen and he peers down so suddenly his antlers nearly fall from his head. Sure enough, beneath some tissue paper at the bottom of the box is a black apron, also a bit big for him, with his name embroidered across the front in deep purple.
In a much more subtle show of gratefulness than his little brother, Choso holds it up with a look of wonder, running his thumb over his name. In disbelief, he too gets to his feet and throws it on over his head, tying it at the back.
Choso’s grin widens and he runs up to Sukuna, practically hopping over the coffee table in an attempt to get to him. “Thank you, Kuna,” he repeats himself again as he clings to his brother’s sweatshirt.
“Mm.” Sukuna ruffles his hair with a small smile. “Go open your last gift with your brother,” he urges. “And you two better share.”
Choso hops back towards his little brother as the two excitedly unwrap their last gift from Sukuna. Within a small box sits a copy of Sonic Advance for their Gameboy.
“No way!” Yuji proclaims excitedly, turning back to Sukuna. “You’re the best, thank you!” He cries, scrambling to his feet to hug his brother. Choso follows suit, each kid finding a place on either side of the tattooed man.
He blows a breath out through his nose, smirking as he pulls them in. In a rare moment of genuine happiness, he hugs them close. You cast a glance at Uraume, who seems just as happy to be a part of this moment with Sukuna’s little family. They may not be perfect, but they care a great deal for one another, that much is clear.
Uraume leans forward and hands the boys a card. “This is for both of you.”
“You didn’t have to get them anything,” Sukuna mumbles to his friend. “The dinner is more than enough.”
“I didn’t have to,” they agree, “but I wanted to.”
Choso tears the envelope open, reading the card out to his brother before peering down at the three papers that fall from the envelope. “Sonic the Hedgehog 3 movie tickets?” He gasps with wide eyes, looking up at Sukuna.
“Tell me the third ticket is for you,” he grumbles to Uraume as Yuji hops to his feet to hug them.
“Nope! I checked with both of your work schedules, you can make it,” they grin at him, bursting into laughter at the grimace that pulls Sukuna’s lips into a frown.
As the cheers and laughter dies down and the brothers make their way back over to the tree after hugging Uraume, you pull out two long, slender boxes and hand one to each kid.
Sukuna sighs, his brow knit tightly together as he avoids your gaze. “You didn’t have to do all this either. You do more than enough for them too.”
“It’s Christmas, Kuna. I wanted to.” You shrug. “Open them at the same time,” you instruct, watching Choso gingerly rip the paper off as Yuji is already eagerly tossing it aside. With wide eyes and gasps, they both hold up Nerf guns, a purple one for Choso and a red one for Yuji.
Sukuna groans as the two boys exchange an excited look, showing their gifts off to one another. “You’re gonna give me a damn headache, woman,” he grumbles, leaning forward on his palm with his elbow resting on his knee.
Yuji bounces to his feet, running to give you a hug as he thanks you over and over, followed shortly by Choso. You wrap your arms around them both, rubbing both of their backs softly. Adjusting your hat so it doesn’t fall off of your head as they pull back, you’re about to grab your gift for Sukuna when Choso gingerly shuffles in place in front of you.
“We- um- have something for you guys too,” he proclaims in a voice barely above a mumble. With a shy smile, he runs off to grab what you can only assume is the gift, leaving the three of you in an air of confusion.
Yuji returns first, followed shortly by Choso. Hidden in their fists are three woven friendship bracelets each. Your lips part, forming an ‘o’ as you gasp at the sight. The two boys are positively too cute.
Holding out your wrist, you watch with tear-filled eyes as Yuji’s tongue sticks out while he ties a red and white striped bracelet around your wrist. It’s the type of bracelet that isn’t coming off anytime soon, but you don’t mind one bit. You’ll treasure it for as long as it’ll stay on your wrist.
Yuji moves on to Sukuna with a red and black checkered bracelet while Choso ties a purple and blue striped bracelet around Uraume’s wrist, his face scrunched in concentration. Unbeknownst to him, Sukuna’s knee presses harder into yours, a somber look crossing his eyes for a split second as he stares down at the checkered bracelet soundly wrapped around his wrist. He swallows hard, twisting his wrist to better see the woven jewelry.
With a glance to either side, he watches with a barely-contained frown as Choso ties a purple and black checkered bracelet just below Yuji’s on his wrist, moving along to add a purple and white striped one to yours.
Both you and Uraume grin, while you obviously fight tears of joy at the simple, yet meaningful gift. Sukuna's stomach seems to twist and he forces down the bile that threatens to come up, chewing on his lower lip.
The idea that this could be the last gift he ever receives from his brothers is fresh in his mind, plaguing his thoughts like an endless nightmare. His muscles tense as he returns his gaze to the two checkered bracelets around his wrist, one much cleaner looking than the other, but that’s not what matters to him.
With a tight-lipped smile that barely masks his underlying anxieties, he’s just about to open his mouth to thank the kids when you speak up first.
“This is so sweet, you two are so talented!” You beam, eyes glassy as you continue to fight tears.
Your knee gently brushes his, a silent acknowledgment that you recognize the paralyzing distance crossing over his eyes. Your quiet offering of support doesn’t go unnoticed and Sukuna uses the opportunity to compose himself. With a sharp intake of breath, he forces a smile that reads more real than the tight-lipped one he previously wore.
“Thanks, kiddos.”
“They look wonderful,” Uraume agrees.
Returning to their gifts, the two kids distract themselves by tearing into whatever cardboard they can get their hands on in an effort to free the basketball and Nerf dart guns. As they busy themselves with their new gifts, you pull out one more box for Sukuna with a cute little bow wrapped around the gift box.
He peers down at the gift as you hold it out to him, shaking his head.
“I don’t need anything,” he grumbles, his mind still somewhat fuzzy as he grapples with the stress of the lawsuit.
“Just take it, Kuna.” You hold it out expectantly to him.
He sighs, taking the box into his hands with a glance up at your timid expression. Pulling at the ribbon, he unwraps it and slowly opens the box, his lips twitching into a frown as he picks his Type O Negative shirt up from inside the giftbox.
“My own shirt,” he comments with a sarcastic edge to his tone at what he’s sure is a joke gift, though he’s actually somewhat relieved you didn’t get him anything.
You giggle at his disdainful expression. “You’re just as bad as your brothers. Unwrap the shirt.”
His brows knit together as he slowly unwraps the shirt. Hidden between the layers of fabric is none other than his dad’s lighter, with the cap back in place, shining like the day Sukuna pulled it from his father’s belongings as though it’s been freshly polished.
His jaw subtly falls open as he drops his shirt into his lap, flipping the cap of the lighter open and watching as he turns it and the flame comes to life. He blinks a few times, his throat tightening as he turns the lighter, the ‘Itadori’ engraving no longer dull and barely visible, but full of life and a stark contrast to the rest of the metal.
Shutting the cap, he runs his tongue over his lower lip once before biting down a bit too harshly on the plush skin, a metallic tang penetrating his taste buds. He pays it no mind, finally looking up at you.
His expression is unreadable and your stomach flutters with nerves as his words seem to fail him when he opens his mouth, fiddling with the lighter.
“You fixed it?”
You nod. “I mean, a professional did, but yeah. I hope- I thought you might appreciate it after the whole lighting yourself on fire thing.” Your voice is quiet, wavering slightly. You catch a questioning gaze from Uraume, but they don’t dare interrupt the moment.
Sukuna stares down at the lighter for another moment, flipping it again. Your stomach does a flip when he rubs his face harshly and you can’t tell whether he’s frustrated with you or thankful.
He’s so damn near tears that it takes him a moment to compose himself before he lowers his hand back down the lighter. “Shit, princess,” he mutters, his throat raw with emotions that he can’t identify.
Unable to tell if that’s a good or bad reaction, you wrap your arms around yourself, tilting your head. “I hope it’s- um-” you stammer, trying to find words, but it’s not like you can undo what’s been done to the lighter, having taken a leap of faith to begin with, even if the gift was Choso-approved. “Sorry, I-”
“Shut up.” Sukuna’s tone isn’t nearly as assertive as usual as he shakes his head at the lighter, unable to meet your gaze out of fear that his eyes might be red again, though this time not from weed. “I appreciate it.”
Your brow raises and a smile finds your lips as relief washes over you. “Yeah?”
He blows a humorous breath out through his nose, nodding. “It means a lot.”
Your smile stretches to a grin that you exchange with Uraume, who seems to know the meaning behind your gift just as well as you do.
“For the record, Uraume’s still right, you should quit,” you point out, earning a sharp stare. Giggling, you nudge his shoulder playfully. “But I know what that means to you, so I thought- you know,” you shrug, thankful you got the right impression from the fact that he continued to use the lighter long after it had broken.
“You two are pains in my ass,” Sukuna huffs, shoving the lighter into his pocket as he finally finds himself back in the moment as the source of your teasing. Reaching up to scratch his chest, he leans back against the couch again. “When did you nab my lighter anyway? It disappeared on a night when I don’t think I saw ya.”
You shoot a smirk at his middle brother, who’s carefully loading foam darts into his toy gun, completely oblivious to the conversation going on between the adults.
“I see,” he hums. Your accomplice glances up as he feels three pairs of eyes on him, tilting his head curiously until Yuji grabs his attention and his impending question is long forgotten. Swallowing, Sukuna gets to his feet. “I have somethin’ for you too.”
He disappears around the corner towards his bedroom, and you’re left exchanging a glance with Uraume, who shrugs. You hadn’t expected anything from him, simply grateful to have company in the absence of your family over the holidays.
You glance back in the direction of the hall when his door clicks shut and he re-emerges, a single piece of paper held carefully in front of him. He sits between you and Uraume once more, turning to face you with a furrowed brow. “Here.”
Gingerly taking the page from him, your jaw drops at the sight. In his traditional graphite and charcoal style, an artistic rendition of you smiling at something off to the side of the page’s line of sight is scrawled across the paper. A clear amount of care has gone into capturing each of your features, deliberate shading and lines framing your complexion.
Bringing a hand up to cover your gaping mouth, you barely manage to whisper, “you… drew me?”
Sukuna’s somewhat glad you haven’t looked up at him yet, his face burning red hot as he brings a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “You loved the project piece so much, I figured…” he trails off, staring down at the piece in your hand when he catches a glimpse of your trembling hand holding the paper.
You chew on your lip as tears prick in your eyes, butterflies threatening to burst at the seams in your stomach as your heart practically rolls over itself in your chest. Whether he returns your feelings or not, one thing is beyond clear.
Sukuna cares a great deal about you, to have poured so much time and effort into something like this, but one more thought lingers in the back of your mind. A thought that has you teetering dangerously close to spiraling into thoughts of uncertainty.
Sukuna thinks you’re beautiful. The proof is in the care that went into each stroke of his pencil and smudge of charcoal to portray you just as he sees you.
“Shit, are you…?” Sukuna mutters when he hears you sniffle, taken aback when you set the art aside and leap forward to hug him. His arms stiffen in the air as he stares blankly at the wall, uncertainty clouding his actions.
“Thank you, Kuna,” you mumble meekly, tears stinging at the edge of your tone as you do what you can to hold them back.
Silence hangs between you, interrupted only by the sounds of clicking plastic as the boys figure out their Nerf guns. Uraume smiles from behind Sukuna at the sight of their friend struggling to wrap his mind around you hugging him. It takes a moment, but gradually his muscles relax and he wraps his arms around you in return.
“Mhm.”
Your eyes flicker open, catching Uraume’s warm smile as you pull back from Sukuna, whose gaze trails to the art. Following his line of sight, you pick the piece back up and hold it gently in your lap.
“It’s gorgeous, thank you.”
He opens his mouth to reply, when a stray foam dart hits him square in the jaw and tumbles down to the ground at his feet.
“Watch it, brat,” Sukuna glowers at Yuji, whose toy gun is pointed a little too precisely at his forehead for his liking.
Unfortunately for the tattooed man, this doesn’t deter his little brother one bit.
With a plastic click, another foam dart is sent careening through the air, colliding with the man’s forearm as he lifts it to block the attack. “Brat!” He barks, getting to his feet and stepping over you. A giggle and pattering of small feet against the hardwood can be heard as Yuji skitters around the corner and out of sight.
With a sharp glare and intent to chase his brother, Sukuna stops, turning to you and bending down to your seated height. He points an accusatory finger at you, his face close enough to make your mouth go dry.
“This is your fucking fault,” he hisses, sans any malice. Despite the fire behind his glare and the accusation dripping from his tone, you spot the telltale sign that Sukuna’s having fun. His lip quirks just the tiniest bit at the corner, giving him away as he straightens and grabs the wall to send himself flying around the corner after his brother. “C’mere you little shit!” He calls.
“No swearing!” Uraume reminds him, but their reminder is met only with cacophonous laughter and the sound of foam darts hitting the wall at a near alarming pace. Yuji comes sliding around the corner, one hand tightly gripping his antlers in an effort to keep them on his head. He scrambles away from the foam darts that bounce harmlessly off the ground behind him before diving towards the couch.
You set the art in your lap on the coffee table before the youngest Itadori can clamber into your lap for protection.
The plastic sound of a gun cocking rings in the air as Sukuna points it squarely at you. He sports his usual scowl, but amusement swirls in his eyes.
“She ain’t gonna protect you, brat,” Sukuna threatens.
“You wouldn’t dare shoot us, would you?” You stick out your lower lip pleadingly, pouting as you play along.
Without missing a beat, a dart collides with your cheek.
“Ow!” You gasp in disbelief, although the dart didn’t truly hurt you at all. “Okay, so maybe you would,” you grumble, rubbing at your cheek. “Choso! Shoot him!” You point at the oldest brother.
Choso, who had previously only been watching, hesitates for a moment as he glances between you and the oldest sibling, before firing a shot at Sukuna’s arm. Sukuna’s attention is pulled to Choso, his teeth grit as he fires back a shot at the boy’s shoulder.
“Run, Yu!” You whisper to the little boy, who bounds down off the couch and into the kitchen in a fit of giggles.
Choso gets to his feet and runs into the hallway as the three brothers engage in a Nerf war, bringing a smile to both your and Uraume’s faces.
“I can’t help but feel as though you should have gotten one for Sukuna as well,” they laugh.
You settle into the center of the couch where Sukuna had been seated, laughing alongside them. “Seems like it.” Turning your attention towards them, you shake your head. “I’ll be honest, I thought Nerf guns would annoy him.”
“Oh, they will. I give it a week,” Uraume pointedly nods and you find yourself laughing alongside them again.
“A week is too generous.”
“A day, perhaps?” They laugh.
As the air between you settles, warmth washes over you. You’ve seen small moments like this in the apartment, ones where the three brothers are all smiles and laughter, even Sukuna, but this one seems different somehow. Less fleeting, as though the burden and weight of Sukuna’s responsibilities aren’t bearing down quite as hard on him right now, even if it’s only for a night.
You don’t believe in miracles, and certainly not Christmas miracles, but if they existed, you think this is what it would look like.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this before.”
You turn your head towards Uraume, tilting your head. “Never?”
They take a moment to contemplate it before shaking their head, their lips pressing into a thin line. “He’s been playing the role of parent so long that I think he sometimes forgets he’s their brother.”
A pang of sadness floods you as a stray dart flies across the kitchen, clanking as it hits a glass that didn’t fit in the dishwasher before it falls to the floor. You’ve seen glimpses here and there of the version of Sukuna that gets to be just a brother and student, it’s hard to believe it’s a side of him that Uraume’s never seen.
“You know,” they comment, setting their elbow along the back of the couch as they lean on their palm, “he seems a lot more relaxed these days. Is that your doing?”
“I guess, maybe,” you shrug. “I’ve been helping take care of his brothers here and there.”
They smile. “I’m glad he has another reliable person to lean on.”
Heat crawls up to your cheeks, but before you can reply, Sukuna trudges into the living room and slumps into the couch with a huff.
“You know, suddenly the Sonic movie doesn’t seem so bad,” he grumbles with a sly look in your direction.
You roll your eyes playfully, nudging his knee with your own. “Oh, don’t act like you aren’t having fun.”
He doesn’t reply, reaching up to pull his Santa hat off and set it aside, running a hand through his hair. He lets out a breath, leaning his head back on the couch. There’s a sense of calm to the silence held between the three of you that Sukuna’s grateful for. A certain understanding that even if only for a moment, he needs this escape.
“Thanks. Both of you.” In an uncharacteristically serious tone, he folds his arms over his chest, relaxing into the couch as he spreads his legs in typical man fashion. “I think Yuji got what he wanted.”
There’s an undertone to his words that you catch, one that gives away what he’s thinking, but before he can slip into a distant world of worries, you set a comforting hand on his bicep. His eyes flicker down to your hand, his expression unreadable.
“Merry Christmas, Sukuna. You too, Uraume.”
He blows air through his nose in a wry laugh, his expression relaxed as your hand drops back to your side. Carefully moving the art of you aside, he kicks his feet up on the coffee table.
“Merry Christmas.”
With a content sigh, Uraume gets to their feet. “I think it’s time I head out. I have an early breakfast tomorrow.”
“Oh! So do I,” you follow suit, beginning to gather your things. “Do you need a ride?” You ask, having taken note of the fact that Sukuna’s gift to them was driving lessons.
“That would be great,” they reply with a smile as you both begin gathering your things. Sukuna calls the kids over to say goodbye before you leave as you pull your coat over your Christmas sweater.
Yuji thanks you both, adorably referring to Uraume as ‘Rume’ as he hugs them, before hugging you. Choso follows suit, both pairs of auburn eyes shining brilliantly as they stand at Sukuna’s feet.
“Thank you for the bracelets,” you grin, kneeling down to Yuji and Choso’s level. They both have three matching woven bracelets on each of their wrists in true friendship bracelet fashion, and quite honestly you could cry at how sweet that is.
Yuji leans in to hug you again, pulling back with a bounce to his step as he cries out “Merry Christmas!”
Choso repeats the merriment more quietly, waving at you both.
“Don’t forget your cookies,” Sukuna hands you the tupperware, but you shake your head.
“If I eat nineteen cookies on my own, I’ll be sick,” you giggle. “Let these two have them.”
Yuji excitedly rocks forwards and backwards on his feet at the prospect of having nineteen cookies that his oldest brother is almost guaranteed to not want.
Sukuna sighs, grimacing as his hand falls back to his side when you refuse the cookies, but he keeps his mouth shut.
It’s Christmas, he supposes his brothers can have some cookies, so he relents.
“Got your gift?”
You nod, unable to help the shy grin on your lips as you hold up the bag that the art is safely sitting at the bottom of.
“Good. Lemme know when you’re both home.”
“I’ll email you,” you confirm.
“Get a phone, Sukuna,” Uraume scolds, only to be met with a sneer as Sukuna’s lip curls in irritation.
“Bite me,” is all he replies, unwilling to admit that he needs to save for a lawyer before he can save for a phone.
He can worry about a phone once this is all over. For now, it’s Christmas, and he wants to put whatever focus he can into granting Yuji the only thing he actually asked for this year.
A big Christmas.
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❦ a/n ; i know i'm a bit late for the holidays and i'm sure many people will be reading this outside of that time period anyway, but i could nawwwt resist giving them a warm and cozy lil holiday together <3 not sure what happened but when it hit 10k words i figured i'd just make this a full chapter. aaaanyways i hope you all enjoyed the sweet fluffy glimpse into their family christmas because i have some angsty plans coming up 😶 forgive me!! as always, thank you for the love and support <33
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homesick — rcm (18+)
⋆. 𐙚 ˚ smut, fluff, minors dni, pining, childhood romance, soft!asshole!rafe, very conflicting lol mb, rafe is an asshole with a soft spot for you, could’ve just said it like that sry, sex is slightly sweeter than what i’m used to writing, i know you don’t need me right now, to you it’s just a late night out
longing for something was the most painful thing you could go through. it was the gray area between loving something and obtaining it, more often than not leaning toward loving rather than obtaining. everybody longed for something, at least once in their lives. you knew you did. you longed for everything you once had, everything that slipped through the cracks of your fingers like grains of sand. sand.
you longed for the feeling of sand beneath your bare feet, the scent of saltwater colliding with a freshly opened bottle of sunscreen, for the feeling of the wind in your hair just one more time. today, you would stop longing for it. you would reach the end of the spectrum after twelve long years and pray it would feel the way it did when things were easier.
the car door creaked open, and you stepped out, blinking as the sun met your face. the morning light was blinding, casting a golden glow over the familiar yet unfamiliar streets. your legs ached from the long drive, but it was the dull throb in your chest that you couldn’t shake. something was brewing in the pit of your stomach, poisoning your soul and making your heart clench. nostalgia.
it coursed through your veins, a bittersweet sensation that left you teetering between comfort and pain. everything felt the same, but nothing didn’t look the same. the sun was just as bright, but maybe there were more people now than you’d anticipated. there were more shops lining the streets, more boats anchored at the docks. more had a knack for being better than less, but the difference didn’t sit well with you.
you locked your car, the sharp click echoing louder than you expected in the stillness of the early morning. you promised yourself you’d return for your things later. for now, you needed to jog your memory. the air smelled of salt and sunblock, a scent so ingrained in your childhood that it almost made you choke up. your feet carried you instinctively, down streets you didn’t have to think twice about, past houses that seemed to carry fragments of your past.
you loved your father, because he was so much more than your father. he was your hero, your role model, the man who checked for monsters under your bed and whispered bedtime stories when you couldn’t sleep. he had a quiet strength about him, the kind that made you feel safe no matter how chaotic the world around you became. he was patient, endlessly so, and always seemed to know exactly what to say, even when there were no words to mend the situation.
he had spent his entire life taking care of you, alongside your mother. together, they had built a world where you never felt the weight of their struggles, only the warmth of their love. your mother was the heart of that world, as much a protector as your father was. she had a laugh that could brighten even the darkest days, and a way of knowing what you needed before you ever said a word. you loved them equally, because there was no father who could do it without a mother there, and no mother who could do it without a father by her side.
but you also loved the outer banks. you loved the place you grew up in, the salty air that clung to your skin, the way the waves crashed against the shore in a rhythm that felt like home. you loved the endless summers, the laughter that echoed through the streets of figure 8, and the friendships that felt as unshakable as the tides. yet, when it came down to leaving it, you did what was necessary.
it was three weeks after your mother had gone on a business trip, one in charlotte, just a few hours away. three weeks. that was all it took for everything to unravel. your father had gotten the call two days before he told you, and you could see the heaviness in his eyes, the way his shoulders carried the weight of a decision he didn’t want to make. but he knew—he knew you couldn’t spare another second there. it was time to leave.
and when the time came, it was done quickly, like ripping off a bandage. nobody could hear of it. even if they did, there was nothing they could do about it. lord knows they tried. ward and rose were the first to reach out, their voices frantic, pleading for answers. you remembered the way your father’s jaw tightened as he ended the call, refusing to explain, to argue, to justify. you had been too young to understand, but old enough to sense the finality of it all.
the last you heard, their family had become somewhat of a mess. the perfect veneer of the camerons had cracked, exposing something raw and broken underneath. you tried not to think about it too much, but it seemed impossible. every street, every house, every crashing wave brought memories rushing back, unbidden and unstoppable. but you pushed them down, telling yourself there was no use in dredging up the past—not yet, anyway.
the houses you passed were a symphony of elegance and familiarity, each one a beacon of the wealth that had defined figure 8 for generations. they stood tall and proud, their façades polished to perfection. you could see the care etched into every detail—the manicured lawns with grass so green it seemed unreal, the trimmed hedges sculpted into geometric shapes, and the vibrant flowers lining cobblestone pathways.
the porches were wide and welcoming, adorned with rocking chairs and hanging flower baskets swaying gently in the breeze. some houses boasted wraparound balconies, their railings painted crisp white, while others had large bay windows that gleamed under the sun, curtains drawn just enough to reveal a hint of the lavish interiors within.
you noticed the details, the things you’d forgotten until now: the way the golden plaques glinted with family names, the faint sound of wind chimes echoing from porches, the occasional bark of a dog from behind wrought-iron gates. it was all so familiar, yet so distant, like a photograph you had stared at for so long that it felt unreal.
as you walked, memories followed, clinging to you like the humid air. they weren’t all of this place—most of them were of him. you had no issue remembering him. the problem was forgetting him, something you could never bring yourself to do no matter how hard you tried.
the memory struck you like a wave. You were six years old, standing in this very neighborhood. your parents had just moved in, and the camerons had wasted no time in welcoming you. you could still see it vividly: rafe, two years older than you, standing with his arms crossed, his nose slightly upturned like he was better than everyone else in the room.
you remembered the way you’d clung to your father’s leg, peeking out only to find his piercing blue eyes staring back at you with a mischievous glint. he was mean, even then. spoiled. his first words to you were, “your hair looks funny.”
your cheeks burned at the memory, the sting of his words fresh even after all these years. you could still hear your mother laughing softly, your father gently patting your shoulder, and ward scolding his son. but then there was sarah. sweet, sunny sarah, who had marched right up to her older brother and smacked him on the arm. “stop being mean, rafe!” she had said with all the conviction her five-year-old self could muster.
and then she turned to you, her eyes wide and sparkling with sincerity. “i like your hair,” she had said, her voice gentle, her small hand reaching out to yours.
“i like yours, too,” you had replied, the tears in your eyes disappearing in an instant.
“wanna be friends?” she asked, tilting her head.
“sure,” you had said, a grin breaking through your tears.
rafe had rolled his eyes then, muttering something under his breath as if he couldn’t believe the exchange happening right in front of him. now, as you walked, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought. it was so vivid, so alive, as if it had happened just yesterday. but you wondered—was he the same? had he changed at all, or was he even meaner now?
the shops along the way were a kaleidoscope of charm and nostalgia. their exteriors were bright and inviting, painted in pastel shades of pink, blue, and yellow, with hand-painted signs swaying gently in the breeze. glass display windows showcased trinkets and souvenirs—everything from handwoven baskets to seashell jewelry and t-shirts with “outer banks” scrawled across them in bold, faded lettering. the aroma of fresh pastries wafted from a bakery, mingling with the salty air and drawing a smile to your face.
you paused at a familiar ice cream parlor, its striped awning unchanged after all these years. the sight of children clamoring for cones, their faces smeared with chocolate and strawberry, made your chest ache. it reminded you of summers spent running through these streets, rafe and sarah in tow, chasing the melting sweetness before it dripped down your arms.
the path narrowed as you moved closer to the beach, the buildings giving way to sand dunes and patches of seagrass. the sound of waves crashing against the shore grew louder, accompanied by the cries of seagulls circling above. the salty air thickened, wrapping around you like an old friend. and then, as the beach came into view, the memory struck.
you had just turned seven, the world still a canvas of endless possibility. you were on the beach with sarah, the two of you crouched in the sand, determined to build the most magnificent sandcastle the outer banks had ever seen.
“we get to be the princesses, right?” you asked, your small hands gripping a bright red bucket as you filled it with wet sand.
“yeah! rafe can be the guard,” sarah replied, her tone decisive as she smoothed out the castle walls.
just a few feet away, rafe sat with his legs crossed, focused on his fishing gear. he had been trying to teach himself to fish, his brow furrowed in concentration as he prepared the bait. ward had given him some of his more expensive gear that morning, clearly hoping his son would find purpose in the sport.
you couldn’t help but frown, suddenly dissatisfied with the childish simplicity of your sandcastle compared to the serious task rafe was undertaking. “i wanna try that, too,” you declared, abandoning your bucket and scrambling toward him.
he barely spared you a glance, scoffing as he tied a knot. “as if. you don’t know how to fish.”
you planted your hands on your hips, standing beside him with a determined pout. “why can’t you teach me?” you challenged, tilting your head. then, with a sly grin, you added, “you don’t know either.”
that got his attention. he turned to you with a dramatic sigh, his face a mixture of annoyance and reluctant amusement. “i know how to fish,” he insisted, standing up and brushing the sand from his shorts. “fine, i’ll teach you. but don’t cry when you mess it up.”
he reached for your hands, his grip surprisingly gentle as he guided you toward the rod. his blue eyes softened, though his voice remained gruff. “first, you hold it like this,” he explained, positioning your hands on the handle. “not too tight, or you’ll mess up the cast. got it?”
you nodded eagerly, your small hands dwarfed by the rod as you mimicked his movements.
“now, watch carefully,” he said, stepping behind you to adjust your stance. his hands covered yours, steady and sure, as he helped you draw the rod back. “when i say ‘go,’ you flick it forward. like this—”
“go!”
the line soared into the water, the bait landing with a soft plop. your face lit up with excitement, and you turned to him, beaming. “i did it!”
he rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward in a small smile. “barely. don’t get cocky.”
you laughed, unbothered by his tone. “thanks, rafey.”
“whatever,” he muttered, but there was a flicker of pride in his expression as he returned to his spot.
even then, he was a contradiction—tough on the outside, but with glimpses of something softer beneath the surface. as you stood on the shore now, the memory faded, replaced by the crashing waves and the unanswered question: had he changed? or had time only sharpened his edges?
the beach stretched out before you, golden and endless, shimmering beneath the late morning sun. the air was thick with the scent of salt and sunscreen, the sound of waves mingling with the occasional bark of a dog or the laughter of children playing nearby. seagulls circled above, their cries sharp but oddly soothing, a familiar soundtrack to a place you once called home.
you slipped off your shoes and stepped onto the sand, warm and soft, a sensation you hadn’t felt in years. the grains clung to your skin, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. it was as if the beach itself were welcoming you back, whispering that some things never changed, no matter how much time passed.
a crowd had gathered in the middle of the shoreline, their figures blending together in the bright sunlight. you couldn’t make out any faces, but the hum of their voices and the sight of carefree movement filled the air with life. despite the busyness of the scene, the beach itself remained a sanctuary—a timeless, comforting space. the wind tousled your hair, and for a moment, you closed your eyes, letting the nostalgia wash over you. it brought you back to a day much like this one, years ago, when the beach had been alive.
your parents had joined ward and rose for a picnic, the two families spreading out a blanket beneath the shade of an umbrella. everyone had been vibrant, so alive. the adults laughed and chatted over glasses of chilled wine, while you and sarah shared slices of watermelon, sticky juice dripping down your chins. she had her head resting on your shoulder, her blonde hair tickling your cheek as you both giggled over nothing in particular.
“it’s really sweet,” you’d said, savoring another bite.
ward had turned to you with a smile, always proud of his ability to impress. “imported from south america,” he’d explained. “you like it?”
you and sarah had nodded enthusiastically, neither of you having a clue in the world what a south america was. the sweetness of the fruit a perfect match for the sunlit day. but as you turned your gaze toward the water, you noticed rafe sitting alone by the shore. he was quiet, his toes buried in the gentle surf, drawing patterns in the wet sand with a stick. there was a tension to him, a nervous energy that seemed out of place amidst the carefree atmosphere.
you set down your half-eaten slice and rose to your feet, brushing sand from your legs. “i’m gonna go check on rafe,” you told sarah, who only shrugged and returned to her watermelon.
as you approached, he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, scoffing lightly. “you’re all sticky,” he muttered, the faintest hint of amusement in his voice.
you grinned, unbothered. “are you hungry?” you asked, crouching beside him.
he shook his head, the stick in his hand still tracing lines in the sand. you frowned, leaning closer. “what’s wrong?”
for a moment, he didn’t answer, his usual bravado replaced by something softer. finally, he turned to you, his blue eyes filled with a quiet uncertainty. “i have to tell you something,” he said, his voice low.
“what’s wrong, rafey?” you pressed, your concern genuine.
he fidgeted, the stick falling forgotten into the sand as he reached into his pocket. When he turned back to you, his hand was outstretched, holding a small metal ring. it was simple, almost too small, as though it had once belonged to a charm bracelet—or maybe it was something he’d found in rose’s jewelry box or bought with the few dollars he had.
“what’s that?” you asked, curiosity lighting up your face.
“i got it for you,” he said, his tone serious, almost awkward.
“why?”
his gaze dropped to the sand, his cheeks reddening. “because i’m gonna marry you when we grow up.”
you gasped, your excitement bubbling over. “really?”
“yeah,” he mumbled, looking at you with a mixture of pride and embarrassment. “so, here.”
without hesitation, you threw your arms around him, sticky hands and all. “thank you, rafey!”
“stop, you’re still sticky,” he protested, his voice muffled against your shoulder, but he didn’t pull away.
instead, you took his hand, tugging him to his feet. “come on!” you exclaimed, dragging him back toward the picnic.
as you reached the blanket, you held up the ring proudly. “rafe and i are gonna get married!” you announced, your voice loud enough to draw the attention of everyone there.
rafe’s face turned scarlet, his hands stuffed into his pockets as laughter erupted around you. even rose, who was usually so composed, chuckled warmly at the sight of her son’s flustered expression.
sarah ran to you, throwing her arms around your neck. “yes! you’ll get to be my real sister!” she cheered, her enthusiasm matching your own.
the memory made your chest tighten as you stood on the beach now, watching the waves roll in and out. how simple things had been then, how full of joy and possibility. the weight of the years since that day pressed down on you, and you couldn’t help but wonder: had rafe ever thought about it? had he ever remembered that promise?
the sound of the crowd jolted you from your thoughts, pulling you back to the present. laughter, cheers, and the unmistakable hum of engines filled the air, growing louder with every passing second. Intrigued, you turned toward the commotion, your curiosity outweighing the tranquility the beach had offered moments before.
you wove your way through the crowd, dodging elbows and shifting bodies as you tried to get a better look. the closer you got, the more the scene came into view. dirt bikes, sleek and muddied, were scattered along the sand, their riders gathered near the starting line. the crowd pressed in around them, forming a makeshift arena.
at the center of it all were three men who stood apart from the rest, their presence commanding attention. two of them were on one side, seemingly strategizing. one had curly hair that bounced with every movement, his wiry frame radiating energy. the other was blond and lean, his sharp jawline illuminated by the sunlight. a few feet away stood the third man, tall and broad-shouldered, his blond hair buzzed short. even from a distance, there was a quiet intensity to him that made him stand out.
you tapped the shoulder of the girl beside you, who was cheering loudly. “what’s all this?” you asked, your voice just loud enough to be heard over the roar of the crowd.
she turned to you, her eyebrows furrowed as if surprised you didn’t already know. “you’re not from here, huh?” she asked.
you hesitated before replying, “not recently.”
“it’s the kildare enduro,” she explained, a hint of excitement in her voice. “biggest race of the summer. you’re in for a show.”
the name didn’t ring any bells, and you realized this must have been something new, something that had started after you’d left. still, the anticipation in the air was contagious, and you found yourself eager to see what all the fuss was about.
engines revved, the sound sharp and exhilarating as the riders mounted their bikes. the crowd roared as the signal was given, and within seconds, the racers were off, their tires kicking up sand as they sped down the makeshift track.
the racers weaved skillfully around obstacles, their movements a blur of precision and daring. the man with frosted tips was quick, taking sharp turns with practiced ease, his bike seeming to glide over the sand. the lean blond wasn’t far behind, his focus evident in the way he leaned into every curve, his bike roaring as he pushed it to its limits.
but it was the third man who drew your attention most. he was fast, incredibly so, his broad shoulders steady as he maneuvered through the course with calculated aggression. every movement was controlled, deliberate, as though he knew exactly how far he could push the bike without losing control.
the race was a spectacle, a blend of more speed, less skill, and pure adrenaline. the crowd erupted into cheers as the racers hit the halfway mark, neck and neck. it wasn’t until the blond man attempted a daring jump over a dune that things took a turn. his landing was rough, causing his bike to wobble dangerously before he recovered. he seized the opportunity, pulling ahead with a burst of speed, but the tall blond wasn’t far behind. they pushed their bikes to the brink, sand flying in every direction as they closed in on the finish line.
just as it seemed the tall blond had the race in the bag, the one with frosted tips made his move, attempting to overtake him on the final stretch. their bikes collided briefly, sending both riders skidding across the sand. gasps rippled through the crowd as the tall blond man capitalized on the chaos, speeding past the lean one to take second place.
the race was over before it even started, but the energy in the air was electric. you found yourself pushing closer, eager to see the aftermath. the tall blond, covered in sand and visibly frustrated, rose to his feet. he glanced toward the lean blond, who was still brushing himself off, their exchange charged with tension. and then he turned.
for a moment, his piercing blue eyes locked onto yours. there was something achingly familiar about him—the shape of his jaw, the intensity of his gaze. it was as though you’d seen him before, in another life perhaps, but the memory was just out of reach. your heart raced as he continued to stare, his expression unreadable.
you hesitated as the scene unfolded before you, your gaze fixed on the lean blond. a group of people ran toward him, their laughter and shouts mingling with the lingering roar of the crowd. one of them threw their arms around him, but the others had snapped like a twig, shoving him, yelling at him. you couldn’t help but stare, curiosity hitting you.
the realization hit you—you stuck out like a sore thumb, gawking as if you didn’t belong, and you probably didn’t. you started to shift back into the crowd when a gentle touch on your shoulder jolted you. you spun around, your heart leaping into your throat, and froze.
she didn’t need a single word of introduction. the familiar honey-blonde hair, the sharp yet kind eyes, the bright smile etched into your childhood memories—it was unmistakably her.
“sarah?” the name tumbled from your lips before you could stop it.
her eyes widened, her hand flying to her mouth as if to stop herself from crying out. shock rippled across her face, her features softening and trembling all at once. she didn’t say a word, not at first. she just stood there, eyes scanning your face like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
then, suddenly, her arms were around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. “oh my god,” she breathed, her voice quivering with disbelief. her grip was strong, desperate, as though letting go would make you vanish again.
the eyes of her friends were on you, you could feel their curious stares, but you didn’t care. at least now, you knew it was really her.
“sarah,” you repeated, your voice cracking. the name felt strange on your tongue after so many years, but it was real. she was real.
“it can’t be you,” she whispered, her breath hitching. “it can’t be.” she pulled back just enough to look at you, her hands gripping your shoulders as tears pooled in her eyes. her gaze darted across your features, her trembling lips curving into a smile of disbelief. “it’s you,” she said again, shaking her head, her voice catching in her throat. “it’s really you.”
tears blurred your vision, your chest tightening as you threw your arms around her this time. you held on tightly, suppressing the sobs clawing at your throat. “sarah,” you said again, her name a lifeline tethering you to the moment.
“are you—are you back?” she asked breathlessly, pulling back just enough to search your face. her voice was thick with emotion, her words tumbling out in a rush. “are you back for good?”
“i am,” you managed, your voice shaky but sure. “i’m back, sarah. for good this time.”
she laughed through her tears, pressing a hand to her chest like she couldn’t believe it. “you have no idea,” she began, her voice breaking, “how much i’ve missed you. how much we’ve missed you.”
she turned then, gesturing toward her group of friends who had been watching the reunion unfold. “guys, this is,” She paused, the words catching in her throat as she turned back to you, her eyes still wide with disbelief. “this is my best friend growing up. this is—”
you gave them a nervous smile as sarah continued, her excitement bubbling over. she rattled off introductions, naming each of them—jj, the boy with the shaggy blonde hair who had lost the race; john b, whose gaze lingered on you with a kind curiosity; and a few others who smiled warmly despite the obvious confusion etched on their faces. they greeted you with nods and hesitant smiles, but you barely registered it. your heart was pounding, your focus still tethered to sarah.
then, almost without thinking, you asked the question. “is rafe here?”
sarah’s face shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. you noticed jj and john b exchange a quick glance, something unspoken passing between them.
“he was just here,” sarah finally said, her voice quieter now, almost cautious. “racing.”
the realization hit you like a wave, the memory of the second racer—the tall blond with the piercing blue eyes—crashing over you. your breath caught in your throat as the pieces fell into place. the familiarity you’d felt, the tension in his gaze—it had been him.
you blinked, the realization sinking in deeper than you wanted it to. that had been rafe. older, rougher around the edges, but still undeniably him. you barely heard sarah when she grabbed your hand and said, “come on, let’s head back to john b’s. we can talk there.” her friends nodded, beginning to walk, and you followed them automatically, your feet moving on instinct as your mind raced. sarah walked beside you, her hand gripping yours like she was afraid you’d disappear again.
the walk to john b’s house stretched longer than you anticipated, the weight of sarah’s questions and the unfamiliar tension in her friends' eyes making the air feel thicker than it should have. the sound of your footsteps crunched against the gravel path, each step sinking deeper into the realization that you were walking into a life that no longer felt like your own. the salty breeze carried the faint scent of bonfires and ocean spray, and yet it did little to settle the nerves curling in your stomach.
sarah had stayed close, her hand brushing yours occasionally as if afraid you might disappear again if she didn’t tether you somehow. you glanced sideways at her, taking in the subtle changes in her features—she was still sarah, but her edges had softened, her face more weathered by years of joy and hardship than the carefree girl you’d once known.
when the small house came into view, you nearly stopped in your tracks. it wasn’t the grand estate where you used to sit on the veranda sipping iced tea or sneaking snacks with sarah when ward wasn’t looking. it was modest, its weathered exterior standing in defiant contrast to the glossy life sarah had grown up in. surfboards leaned against the porch, the peeling paint whispered of simpler days, and the scent of fried food wafted from an open window.
“this is where you live now?” you asked softly, unable to mask the disbelief in your tone.
sarah hesitated, then nodded. “yeah,” she said, her voice carrying a mix of pride and resignation. “it’s home.”
you didn’t say anything else, but you couldn’t help wondering what had happened to bring her here. what had pulled her away from the life you once knew?
inside, the house was alive with chatter and movement, the kind of casual chaos you could only find among close friends. jj had thrown himself onto the couch, beer in hand, while kiara rummaged through a drawer for something. john b stood by the kitchen, leaning against the counter, his eyes flicking between you and sarah as if trying to read the situation.
but sarah didn’t let you linger in the room’s atmosphere for long. she tugged you toward the porch, where the sound of the waves was clearer, the salty breeze brushing against your skin. you sank onto the steps beside her, the wood warm beneath you from the day’s sun. for a moment, neither of you spoke.
“how could you?” she asked suddenly, her voice breaking the stillness like a clap of thunder.
you turned to her, startled. “what?”
her gaze was locked on the horizon, her hands gripping the edge of the step. “how could you just leave? how could you stay quiet for twelve years?” her voice trembled, her pain spilling out in waves.
you swallowed hard, the knot in your throat tightening. “sarah, i—”
“you didn’t even say goodbye,” she interrupted, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “you just disappeared. do you have any idea what that did to me? to all of us?”
your breath hitched, and you looked down at your hands, unable to meet her gaze. “i didn’t have a choice,” you said quietly.
her head snapped toward you, her expression a mix of confusion and anger. “what does that even mean?”
“something happened,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “something horrible. and i couldn’t stay. i had to face it.”
her anger melted away, replaced by a sorrow so deep it made your chest ache. “what happened?” she asked softly, her hand reaching for yours.
you shook your head, biting back the emotions threatening to spill over. “i can’t talk about it. not yet.”
she nodded slowly, her fingers tightening around yours. “okay,” she said, her voice steady despite the tears in her eyes. “but promise me you’ll tell me one day.”
“i promise,” you said, your voice cracking under the weight of the moment. the silence returned, heavier this time, until you found the courage to break it. “what about rafe?”
her breath caught, and she pulled her hand back, folding her arms tightly across her chest. “what about him?”
“i need to see him,” you said, your heart pounding.
kiara’s voice cut in from the doorway, sharp and unflinching. “you don’t want to do that.”
you turned to her, frowning. “why not?”
“because nobody here is friends with rafe,” she said, her tone laced with bitterness.
you turned back to sarah, your stomach sinking. “what does she mean? what happened to him?”
sarah’s expression darkened, and she looked away, her fingers tracing invisible patterns on the wood. “he’s not the same,” she said finally. “he’s gotten into some bad things. drugs. crime. hurting people. he’s not the rafe you remember.”
the words hit you like a punch to the gut, the air rushing from your lungs. “no,” you whispered, shaking your head. “that can’t be true.”
“he tried to kill me,” sarah said, her voice trembling. “he’s different now.”
you stared at her, your mind racing, memories of the boy you once knew flashing before your eyes. without thinking, you stood, your chest tight and your breathing uneven. “i need a minute,” you muttered, stepping off the porch.
“wait,” sarah said, her gaze dropping to your hand. her brow furrowed as she leaned closer. “you still have that?”
you followed her gaze to the small metal ring on your pinky, its once shiny surface now dull and worn. “i haven’t taken it off,” you said quietly. “not once these twelve years.”
her breath hitched, and tears filled her eyes. “he gave you that,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
you nodded, your throat tightening. “he did.”
she reached out, her fingers brushing against the ring. “even after everything?”
you swallowed hard, the weight of the ring heavier than ever. “especially after everything.”
her tears spilled over, and she pulled you into a hug, her breath shaky against your shoulder. “we’ll find him,” she said softly. “we’ll fix this. somehow.” but as you pulled away, the doubt lingered in her eyes—and in yours.
your walk was slow, your feet dragging against the dusty path as your mind swirled with thoughts of what sarah had told you. the crisp evening air nipped at your skin, and the faint hum of crickets filled the silence. your fingers brushed against the cool metal of the ring on your pinky, twisting it around absentmindedly as you tried to piece together how everything could have gone so wrong.
the roadside bar loomed ahead, a place frozen in time. its weathered wooden sign creaked faintly in the breeze, illuminated by a flickering neon light that buzzed softly. this was a place your father and ward used to frequent, their laughter and hushed conversations floating in your memory like ghosts. you hesitated for a moment, gripping the ring tighter before pushing open the heavy door.
the smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke hit you first, the dim light casting shadows that danced across the scuffed wooden floor. the low murmur of voices and the crack of pool balls filled the room, but the moment you stepped inside, it felt like every pair of eyes turned to you. men leaned against the bar, their gazes lingering a little too long, and a few heads turned in the corner where a card game was underway. your pulse quickened, and you adjusted your stance, trying not to show the nerves that prickled beneath your skin.
you found an empty stool near the bar and slid onto it, the worn leather cool against your legs. the bartender, a woman with kind eyes and a bright smile, approached. she leaned slightly over the counter, her voice warm. “hi, sugar, what can i get you?”
her friendliness put you at ease, and you adjusted yourself on the stool, thinking back to the times you had sat on your father’s lap here as a child, the smell of whiskey and tobacco clinging to his clothes. you tried to remember what he would order, something simple, something that wouldn’t make you stand out.
“just a beer, thanks,” you answered, your voice steady despite the nerves fluttering in your chest.
she nodded and moved to grab a bottle, setting it down in front of you with a napkin. you paid, sliding the money across the counter, and took a sip, the bitter taste grounding you in the moment.
as you sat there, you let your thoughts wander. you thought about sarah’s words, about how rafe had spiraled into a person you could barely recognize. you thought about the ring on your finger, its weight heavier now than ever, and how you’d kept it on all these years as a symbol of a bond you once thought unbreakable. the sound of the door opening barely registered until you heard the voice.
“gin straight.”
it was deep, rough, and unmistakable. your stomach churned, your breath caught in your throat, and before you could stop yourself, you turned.
there he was, standing a few feet away at the bar, his profile sharp against the dim light. his buzzed hair was shorter than you remembered, his jaw more defined, but it was the same face that had haunted your memories for over a decade. he turned slowly, almost as if he could feel your gaze on him, and when his eyes locked onto yours, the world seemed to tilt off its axis.
it all stopped. the noise, the movement, the air in your lungs. everything came to a grinding halt as his piercing blue eyes met yours.
“rafe,” you exhaled, so quietly you weren’t sure if the word even escaped your lips, but it did.
his gaze stayed on you, unblinking, unreadable. for a moment, he didn’t move, as if frozen in place. then, hesitantly, he stepped closer. you held your breath as he reached out, his hand brushing yours as he lifted it to inspect the ring on your pinky.
he turned your hand slightly, his thumb grazing the metal as his jaw tensed. the silence between you was deafening, his face a mixture of disbelief and something you couldn’t place. but then, as quickly as he had reached for you, he let go, your hand falling limply to your side.
“rafe, please,” you said, your voice louder this time, tinged with desperation.
“no,” his response was barely audible, but the weight of it crushed you. he shook his head, stepping back. “no, you don’t get to do this.”
you blinked, your heart breaking at the quiet finality in his tone. “do what?” you asked, your voice trembling.
“you don’t get to come back after twelve years and act like everything’s the same,” he said, his voice low but sharp. “you don’t get to look at me like that.”
he grabbed his jacket from the stool beside him, abandoning the drink he’d ordered. you reached for him, stepping closer, but he moved away, his movements hurried, as if he couldn’t get out fast enough.
“rafe, wait!” you called after him, but he didn’t stop.
the door swung shut behind him, and you were left standing there, your heart in pieces on the scuffed wooden floor. you sat back down slowly, your hands trembling as you picked up your beer, the cool glass doing little to steady your nerves. tears pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them away, unwilling to break down in front of the strangers still watching you. the ring on your finger seemed heavier now, its meaning twisted and warped by the person rafe had become.
the world seemed to turn on you as you staggered along the dirt path, the alcohol buzzing in your veins far more than you'd intended. you cursed under your breath—why did you even drink in the first place? the bar was supposed to be a brief stop, a distraction. now, here you were, stumbling through the outskirts of town, hopelessly lost.
the cool night air pricked your skin, and you wrapped your arms around yourself for warmth. trees loomed overhead, their branches tangling into an almost suffocating canopy as you ventured deeper into unfamiliar woods. your steps were uneven, crunching against the dry leaves and snapping twigs underfoot. the stillness was eerie, broken only by the distant sound of crickets and the occasional rustle of something unseen.
you didn’t realize you had stopped until you heard faint voices carried on the breeze. they were low, hurried, almost conspiratorial. your muddled brain told you to turn around and leave, but something else—a mixture of curiosity and recklessness—drew you forward.
as you approached, the silhouettes of two figures came into view, faintly illuminated by the pale moonlight breaking through the trees. one was shorter, stocky, with buzzed, dark hair, a mustache, and a chain glinting around his neck. he was gesturing animatedly, his hands moving with the urgency of someone trying to make a quick deal. the other man stood taller, his broad shoulders stiff, his body language more guarded. it wasn’t until your unfocused gaze settled on his profile that your breath hitched in your throat.
even through the haze of alcohol, you could recognize him. the strong jawline, the tense set of his shoulders, the way he ran a hand through his short blond hair—it was unmistakable. but this rafe was different. the sight of him clutching a small, crumpled bag of powder made your stomach churn.
your eyes darted between the two men, trying to piece together the scene in front of you. money exchanged hands, crisp bills slipping from rafe’s grasp to the other man’s. the bag of powder followed, its stark white contents nearly glowing in the faint light. your chest tightened as the reality of what you were seeing hit you. a twig snapped beneath your foot.
both heads snapped in your direction instantly, their movements sharp and alert. rafe’s eyes widened, his entire body tensing as he registered your presence.
you took a step forward, anger and disbelief swirling together in a volatile mix. “really, rafe?” the words came out harsher than you intended, but you couldn’t stop them. “this is what you’ve been up to?”
the shorter man frowned, his expression shifting into one of irritation. “excuse me,” he said with a mocking edge, “this is a private transaction.”
you ignored him, your focus locked on rafe. he sighed heavily, dragging a hand down his face as if trying to summon patience. fully turning to you, his jaw clenched tight, he spoke with a tone that brooked no argument. “this doesn’t concern you.”
“who's this, country club?” the dark-haired man asked with an amused smirk. “got yourself a girlfriend?”
rafe didn’t answer, but the anger in his eyes was unmistakable. it wasn’t just anger—it was frustration, shame, and something deeper, something raw.
your own emotions bubbled over. “you know what? fine.” you reached into your pocket, fumbling for your wallet. “i’ll join the fun. i want some too.”
rafe’s reaction was immediate. he grabbed your wrist, his grip firm but not painful, his eyes boring into yours with a mixture of disbelief and fury. “what the hell are you doing?”
“what?” you shrugged, yanking your arm free as you pulled out a few bills. “you can have fun, and i can’t?”
he leaned closer, lowering his voice to a furious hiss. “you think this is fun?” his eyes darted to the other man, who was now watching with an amused grin, clearly entertained by the unfolding drama. rafe’s attention snapped back to you, his expression dark. “i’m dealing with shit, okay? now, i know you’ve been gone for a while, but this—” he gestured around him, his tone bitter—“this is the way things are now.”
you let out a hollow laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “dealing with shit? this is your solution?”
rafe clenched his jaw, his hands flexing at his sides. for a moment, it seemed like he might say something, but instead, he abruptly slammed the small bag of powder onto the ground, startling both you and his associate. without another word, he grabbed your arm, yanking you away from the scene with a force that left no room for argument. the shorter man called after him, his voice dripping with annoyance, but rafe didn’t even glance back.
you wrenched your arm free from rafe’s grasp, the momentum staggering you backward a step. his grip had been strong, almost desperate, and as you finally stood still, you took him in.
the years hadn’t been kind, and yet, they had. he was sharper somehow, more defined. his jawline was stronger, his shoulders broader, but his eyes—god, his eyes. the bright blue you remembered so vividly had dimmed, clouded over with something you couldn’t quite name. he looked good, and yet, he looked like a man you barely recognized.
“what the hell is your problem?” the words slipped out before you could stop them, your voice sharp and cutting.
rafe was already pacing, his hands on his hips, his head tilting back as he let out a bitter laugh. he dragged his palms down his face, his movements frantic, unstable. “what’s my problem?” he repeated, his voice laced with mockery. “let’s see, what’s my problem?” he turned to face you, his expression twisted with something you couldn’t quite name—anger, hurt, disbelief, maybe all of it at once. “maybe it has to do with you, showing up after twelve years.”
his words hit like a slap, but he wasn’t done. “i mean, what’d you think? that we’d hug, hold hands, shed a few tears? that it’d be like old times?” his voice rose as he took a step closer. “after you left? after you left?”
the weight of his words made your chest tighten, guilt curling in your stomach like a living thing. you opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off, his voice growing louder, more unstable. “you thought we’d just pick things up where we left off? are you that delusional?”
he leaned in close, his face inches from yours, and jabbed his fingers against his temple as if trying to make sense of it all. his words spilled out in a rushed, angry torrent, each one hitting you like a blow. “you left, and you stayed gone. you didn’t call, didn’t write. hell, you didn’t even think to check if i was still breathing.”
“she died, rafe,” you said, your voice cracking under the weight of your words.
the sentence stopped him mid-rant. his pacing halted, his brow furrowing as he turned to look at you, truly look at you, for the first time. “what are you talking about?” he asked, his voice quieter but no less intense. “who died?”
your chest tightened, and it took everything in you to speak the words aloud. “my mom, rafe,” you said, the pain evident in every syllable. “she died, and we had to go back. we didn’t have a choice. and when we did, we couldn’t face coming back here. it was too much—it’s still too much.”
rafe’s face crumbled, the anger draining from his expression as sorrow took its place. he ran a hand through his hair, his gaze dropping to the ground as he processed your words. your mom. the woman who had always cared for him in ways his own mother never had. the woman who had bandaged his scraped knees and made him dinner when rose was too busy entertaining guests. she was gone.
the silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating. finally, rafe spoke, his voice softer than before. “why are you back?”
you swallowed hard, your hands trembling at your sides. “i came back for you,” you answered, your voice steady despite the tears welling in your eyes.
for a brief moment, something in his face softened—something familiar, something achingly rafe. but then he shook his head, his gaze hardening once more. “don’t,” he murmured, almost a plea. “i’m not the same person anymore, and i haven’t been for a long time.”
“i don’t care, rafe,” you shot back, your voice rising with desperation. “nothing could ever change the way i see you. please—”
“stop.”
“no,” you interrupted, your heart breaking with every word. “i know you, rafe. i know who you are underneath all of this. you’re still the same boy i grew up with, the same boy who—”
“stop!” his voice cracked, loud and raw, silencing you. he took a step back, his chest heaving as he struggled to keep himself together. “you don’t know me anymore. you don’t know what i’ve done, what i’ve become. you don’t want this, trust me.”
“i do,” you insisted, tears streaming down your face. “i want you. i came back for you because i never stopped caring. please, rafe, just—”
“i can’t,” he said, his voice breaking as he turned away. he grabbed his jacket from the ground, his movements hurried and clumsy. “i can’t do this.”
“rafe, please!” you called after him, your voice echoing through the trees. but he didn’t turn around. he walked away, his figure disappearing into the shadows, leaving you standing there, shattered and alone.
your knees gave out, and you collapsed to the ground, sobs wracking your body. the ache in your chest was unbearable, like someone had reached in and ripped your heart out. you buried your face in your hands, the cold dirt beneath you offering little comfort. your head throbbed, the pain sharp and unrelenting. the world around you spun, the trees and stars blending together into a dizzying blur. and then, everything went black.
rafe clutched the steering wheel with both hands, his knuckles white as he sped down the dark, empty streets. the tears that streaked his cheeks blurred his vision, but he didn’t care. he couldn’t stop the flood now. this was his only safe place to fall apart—behind the wheel, alone in the cocoon of his car, where no one could see, no one could judge. his chest heaved as sob after sob broke free, and the memories he had buried for so long clawed their way back to the surface. he could still see it, clear as day. the moment everything changed.
he had been eleven years old, standing on your porch, knocking on your door. it had been like any other day—he’d woken up with a plan to drag you outside and teach you something new. maybe you’d climb trees together, or he’d show you how to skip rocks at the creek. you always lit up when he taught you something; it made him feel like a hero.
but when no one answered the door that day, his excitement faded to confusion. he tried again, banging harder, calling your name. still, nothing. the house was eerily quiet, no muffled footsteps, no voices, no sound of the television in the background. he glanced around, noticing for the first time that your father’s car wasn’t parked in the driveway. his heart sank. something felt wrong.
he pushed the door open—it was never locked back then—and stepped inside. the air was still, heavy, as though the house itself had lost its heartbeat. “hello?” he called, his voice echoing faintly. othing. no one. rafe felt panic prick at the edges of his chest as he backed out of the house and ran down the street to his own. when he slipped through the side door, he heard voices. quiet, tense, the kind of voices that told him he wasn’t supposed to be listening.
he crept toward the living room, where his mother and father were standing close, their voices low and hurried. rose’s arms were crossed, her lips pressed into a thin line as ward leaned in closer to her, his face drawn with worry. sarah sat on the couch, her small shoulders shaking as she cried into her hands. rafe froze in the doorway, staring at them.
ward was the first to notice him. his father’s eyes softened, the corners of his mouth pulling into an expression rafe rarely saw from him—sympathy. “dad,” rafe said quietly, stepping further into the room. “she wasn’t home, so i came back.”
he glanced at sarah, confused and a little scared. “why’s she crying?”
rose and ward exchanged a look, a wordless conversation passing between them. finally, ward sighed, walking over to his son. he crouched down, his large hands resting on rafe’s small shoulders. “she’s not going to be home for a very, very long time,” ward said, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.
rafe frowned, trying to understand. “why not? where’d she go?”
ward didn’t answer. instead, for the first time in as long as rafe could remember, his father pulled him into a hug. a real hug, not the kind meant to placate or perform, but one that felt like comfort. one that made Rafe’s chest ache because he didn’t realize how much he needed it.
“i know it’s hard, son,” ward murmured against his ear. “but she’s gone now.”
rafe let his father hold him that day, clinging to the one solid thing he had as his mind raced to comprehend what “gone” meant. the realization hit later, slowly and painfully, when day after day, week after week, he knocked on your door and was met with silence. for a whole year, he went back, hoping, praying that one day you’d answer. but you never did.
and now, twelve years later, you were here again. like a ghost, like a dream he’d stopped believing in. rafe wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, pulling himself out of the memory as he glanced to the side. his heart clenched when he saw you slumped in the passenger seat, unconscious. your face was pale, your body limp, and the sight made him grip the steering wheel harder.
he took a shaky breath, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer. you looked so small, so vulnerable, like the girl he used to know and the stranger you had become all at once. “i'm sorry,” he whispered, the words catching in his throat as he turned his gaze back to the road.
the world was hazy when you opened your eyes, the faint, warm glow of a lamp on the bedside table guiding you back to consciousness. your head throbbed, the dull ache intensifying with each second, and for a moment, you weren’t sure where you were. slowly, you blinked, your vision sharpening. the room around you felt familiar.
a large bed cradled you in its softness, the smooth fabric cool against your skin. the lamp’s golden light cast gentle shadows on the walls, illuminating a painting hanging across from the bed—a serene coastal landscape you swore you’d seen before. beneath the painting sat a neat stack of white drawers. the faint sound of cicadas chirping outside suggested it was night, but how long had you been out? an hour? two? you brought a shaky hand to your temple, pressing lightly against the pounding pain in your head as you tried to piece together how you got here. then you saw him.
rafe was sitting on the edge of the bed, his broad shoulders hunched slightly, his hands clasped together as if he were trying to hold himself together. his eyes, red and puffy, were fixed on you, his expression a mixture of relief, guilt, and something deeper—something unspoken. your lips parted, your voice faint as you murmured, “rafe.” the sound of his name felt foreign on your tongue, yet familiar, like a forgotten melody.
he didn’t respond immediately, just continued to watch you, his throat bobbing as he swallowed thickly.
“rafey,” you whispered, your voice cracking as your senses fully returned. the nickname slipped out before you could stop it, dragging you both back to a time when things were simpler, softer. a time when you’d tug on his sleeve and call him that, and he’d groan in mock annoyance, but secretly love it.
to your surprise, he smiled—small, fragile, but real. “you haven’t called me that in a long time,” he murmured, his voice rough around the edges but warm in a way that made your chest tighten.
you shifted, straightening your back and sitting up to get a better look at him. the movement made you grimace as your headache flared, but you ignored it. you couldn’t think about yourself right now—not when he was here, not when he was looking at you like that. you must be a mess, you thought. your hair was probably tangled, your makeup smeared, and your clothes wrinkled from sleep. but if rafe thought so, he didn’t show it. his gaze remained steady, unwavering, as though you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“i’m sorry,” you blurted, the words escaping like they had a mind of their own. your throat tightened, and the floodgates opened before you could stop them. “i’m so sorry, rafe.”
your voice cracked as the first tear fell, and then another, until they were streaming freely down your cheeks. the weight of years of guilt and regret crushed you, leaving you breathless and trembling.
“please, don’t cry,” rafe murmured, his voice soft and pleading. he climbed into the bed beside you, reaching out to gently wipe your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. his touch was tender, careful, like he was afraid you might shatter. he had never enjoyed seeing you cry. not when you were kids, and certainly not now.
“i couldn’t have stopped it, could i?” you choked out, your voice trembling. “i could’ve helped you, but i wasn’t there. i left you, rafe. i left you, and look what happened.”
his hands cupped your face, tilting it upward so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. his blue eyes, raw and filled with emotion, bore into yours. “of course you could’ve,” he whispered, his tone tinged with something like sorrow. “nobody could’ve stopped me, but you.” your heart clenched at his words, the truth of them cutting deeper than any blade.
“but,” he added, his thumbs brushing away the fresh tears that streaked your face, “it’s not your fault you weren’t here. you couldn’t have known.” he leaned in slightly, his forehead nearly brushing yours. “you’re here now,” he whispered, his voice steady, reassuring.
you nodded, the lump in your throat too big to speak around. his warmth seeped into you, his presence grounding you in a way nothing else could. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close until you were cradled in his lap. your head rested against his chest, the steady thrum of his heartbeat calming the storm inside you. for a moment, it felt like the world had stopped spinning. it was just you and rafe, tangled together, trying to piece each other back together.
he shifted slightly, his hand brushing against yours, and his gaze dropped. his fingers stilled when they grazed the small, tarnished ring on your hand. “i can’t believe you’ve kept it all these years,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
you looked down, following his gaze to the ring he’d given you all those years ago. it was simple, unassuming, but it had meant everything to you.
“it’s all i had left of you,” you admitted, your voice trembling.
rafe’s fingers closed around yours, lifting your hand to his lips. he pressed a soft kiss against the cool metal of the ring, then another against your knuckles. the tenderness of the gesture sent a fresh wave of tears streaming down your cheeks.
“you’ve got me now,” he said, his voice low and certain. he placed your hand against his chest, directly over his heart. your breath hitched as his gaze locked onto yours. his eyes flicked down to your lips, then back up, searching for permission. you gave it with a barely perceptible nod, and in the next heartbeat, he leaned in.
the kiss was soft, hesitant at first, as though he were afraid of breaking the fragile moment. but as your lips moved against his, the hesitation melted away, replaced by something deeper, something more desperate. his hands cupped your face again, tilting it just right as he kissed you like he’d been waiting twelve years to do it. and maybe he had.
your hands found their way to his shoulders, clinging to him like he was the only solid thing in a world that had shifted beneath your feet. his lips were warm and soft, moving with a purpose that made your heart race. time seemed to stretch, the rest of the world fading into nothing as you lost yourself in him. it wasn’t rushed or hurried; it was slow, deliberate, filled with all the emotions you hadn’t been able to say out loud.
the moment lingered, your foreheads pressed together as your breaths mingled in the quiet intimacy of the room. rafe’s hands stayed on your face, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks as if he were memorizing every inch of you. his blue eyes burned into yours, filled with an intensity that made your heart race and your stomach flutter.
his lips brushed yours again—tentative, almost like a question. when you didn’t pull away, he deepened the kiss, the motion slow and deliberate. his lips moved against yours with a softness that contradicted the desperation in the way his hands held you, like you might disappear if he loosened his grip.
your fingers slid up from his shoulders, tangling in his hair as you tilted your head, giving him better access. he took the invitation greedily, his kisses growing bolder, more insistent. his hands left your face, one settling at the base of your neck while the other pressed gently against the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer.
when he finally broke the kiss, you were breathless, your lips tingling from the way he’d kissed you like he was afraid it might be his last chance. but he didn’t go far. his lips found your jaw, pressing soft, lingering kisses down its curve. “rafey,” you murmured, your voice barely audible as your head tilted instinctively, giving him more room.
the sound of his nickname, the one only you were allowed to use, on your lips seemed to spur him on. his kisses trailed lower, down to the sensitive spot just below your ear, where his lips lingered, warm and soft against your skin. a shiver ran through you, and you felt his smile against your neck, like he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
“tell me to stop,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. but there was no hesitation in his voice, no real expectation that you would.
“don’t stop,” you replied, your fingers tightening in his hair.
he groaned softly, the sound low and rumbling, sending a wave of heat through you. his lips continued their journey, trailing down the column of your neck, his kisses deliberate and unhurried. he paused at the base of your throat, pressing a kiss there that was more reverent than anything else, like he was worshipping you.
your breath hitched as his lips moved lower, brushing against your collarbone. his hands shifted, one sliding to your waist, the other splayed against your back, keeping you anchored to him. his lips lingered on your collarbone, the warmth of his mouth contrasting with the cool air of the room.
“rafe, please,” you whispered again, your voice trembling.
he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and filled with something you couldn’t quite name. his thumb brushed against your cheek, his touch gentle despite the fire in his gaze.
“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice raw and earnest.
a tear slipped down your cheek, and he caught it with his thumb, shaking his head slightly as if he couldn’t believe you were here, in his arms, letting him hold you like this.
“you don’t have to cry anymore,” he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then another to the opposite side. “i’ve got you now. you’re not going anywhere.” his words settled in your chest, a balm to the ache that had been there for years. you believed him. you felt it in the way he held you, the way he kissed you, the way he looked at you like you were his entire world.
his lips found yours again, this time softer, slower—like he was savoring you, trying to memorize the feel of you against him. his hand cradled the back of your head, his fingers threading gently through your hair as his other hand rested at your waist, keeping you steady.
you melted into him, your hands gripping his shoulders as his warmth enveloped you. he kissed you like he was afraid to rush, as though he wanted to take his time and show you everything he couldn’t put into words.
when he pulled back, his lips hovered just above yours, his breath warm and uneven against your skin. his thumb brushed your cheek, his touch impossibly tender.
“i’ve thought about this,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “about you. about us. for years, i thought i’d lost you for good.” his blue eyes searched yours, his vulnerability shining through.
“i’m here now,” you replied softly, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “and i’m not going anywhere.”
he let out a shaky breath, his forehead resting against yours as if grounding himself in your presence. “i don’t deserve you,” he admitted, his voice breaking slightly. “not after everything i’ve done, after the person i’ve become.”
your heart ached at his words, at the pain you could hear in his voice. you cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “rafe,” you said firmly, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions coursing through you. “you deserve love, just like anyone else. and i’ve always believed in you. always.”
a tear slipped down his cheek, and you caught it with your thumb, your heart breaking and mending all at once. he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing briefly as if he was letting your words sink in.
“i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” he whispered, his lips brushing yours as he spoke. “if you’ll let me.”
you didn’t answer with words. instead, you closed the distance between you, kissing him with a softness that spoke volumes. he responded immediately, his hands sliding down to your hips as he pulled you closer. the kiss deepened naturally, his lips moving against yours with a newfound urgency, but still gentle—always gentle with you. his hands remained steady on your waist, grounding you as his lips traveled once more, pressing kisses along your jaw, down the curve of your neck.
you tilted your head, giving him more access as his lips found the sensitive spot beneath your ear. a soft sigh escaped you, and you felt his smile against your skin. “you’re incredible,” he whispered against your neck, his voice low and filled with awe. “every piece of you. i don’t know how i got so lucky.”
your fingers found their way into his shirt, tugging gently as his kisses trailed lower, to the hollow of your throat. his lips pressed there for a moment, lingering as if the feel of your heartbeat beneath his lips anchored him. when he finally pulled back to look at you, his eyes were darker now, filled with a mix of emotions—adoration, desire, and something deeper, something that made your stomach flutter.
“you have no idea how long i’ve waited for this,” he murmured, his hands sliding up to cradle your face again. “to have you here, to hold you, to kiss you. i thought i’d never get this chance.”
“you have me now,” you said softly, your voice trembling with the weight of the moment. “i’m yours, rafe. always.”
the words seemed to shatter something in him. he leaned in, capturing your lips in another kiss—this one more heated, more desperate, as if he was trying to pour every unspoken word, every unshed tear into the connection. his hands wandered to your back, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you deeper, his lips leaving no part of yours unexplored. when he finally broke away, his lips trailed along your jaw, to the sensitive spot below your ear, down your neck, and finally to your collarbone.
you shivered under his touch, your breath hitching as his hands skimmed your sides, his fingers brushing against your waist with a tenderness that made your heart ache. “you’re everything,” he murmured against your skin, his voice filled with reverence. “everything i’ve ever wanted.”
his touch seemed to grow bolder, his hands moving to the buttons of your blouse. you helped him, eager to feel the heat of his skin against yours. the fabric parted with a harsh tug, revealing the simple, lacy bra that had been hidden beneath. his eyes darkened as he took in the sight, his breathing growing ragged.
“so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. his fingers traced the edge of the lace, his eyes never leaving yours. the anticipation was almost unbearable, your heart racing as you waited for his next move.
when he finally did, it was with a gentle touch that belied the intensity in his gaze. he cupped one of your tits, his thumb brushing against the nipple until it tightened into a peak. you gasped at the sensation, arching into his touch. his praises grew more fervent as he played with your sensitive flesh, his voice a soft, muffled whisper that seemed to wrap around you as he pressed the surface of his tongue alongside the valley of your boobs, making you feel desired in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.
his other hand found the zipper of your skirt, pulling it down with a slow deliberateness that had you squirming in anticipation. the fabric fell away, pooling around your ankles, leaving you in just your panties and bra. the look in his eyes was one of pure hunger, but it was tempered with a love so fierce it stole your breath away.
he leaned in, his mouth capturing one of your nipples through the lace, his tongue teasing it into a hardened point. you moaned, your hands fisting in his shirt. you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, the wetness of his mouth, the roughness of the fabric against your sensitized flesh.
his hand slid down, hooking into the waistband of your panties. you lifted your hips slightly, allowing him to pull them down your legs. the coolness of the air against your bare cunt was an incredible contrast to the heat of his touch. you allowed him to pull your panties down, feeling exposed and vulnerable, yet safe in his arms.
his eyes traveled over your body, taking in every inch of you as if he were worshipping a goddess. his gaze made you feel powerful, beautiful, and utterly wanted. his hands found your hips, his thumbs digging in slightly as he tugged you closer to him. the fabric of his own clothes were rough against your skin, a reminder that this was real, that he was really here, touching you with a love that seemed to consume him.
his mouth moved down, kissing a path from your neck to your chest, pausing to worship each tit in turn. his teeth grazed the flesh gently, making you gasp as he sucked and nibbled. it was erotic, the way he took his time, savoring every moment as if it might be his last. you felt the ache between your legs, the wetness growing slicker with every kiss, every caress.
his hand slid down, his fingers slipping into your wetness, exploring your folds with a gentle yet firm touch. your eyes fluttered closed, your head falling back as he found your clit, stroking it with a precision that made your legs tremble. “fuck, rafe,” you moaned, your voice a breathless whisper.
he kissed you deeply, his hand never leaving your pussy as he began to rub circles around your clit, increasing the pressure with every pass. you could feel yourself getting closer, the tension building like the crescendo of a symphony. his thumb circled your clit as his forefinger slid into your wetness, the sensation sending waves of pleasure through your body.
his mouth moved to your ear, his breath hot and heavy. “i love you,” he whispered, the words sending a shiver down your spine. “i’ve loved you for so long. i wanna make you feel so good, to show you just how much you mean to me. can i?”
you nodded, unable to form words as the orgasm crashed over you, your body shuddering with the force of it. he didn’t stop, his hand moving faster, his thumb pressing harder until you were panting and trembling in his arms. when you finally stilled, he kissed you again, a gentle press of his lips to yours, his tongue sliding in to taste you.
his hands slid away, and you felt the loss acutely, but only for a moment. he stepped back, his own shirt and pants joining the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. his cock stood erect, showing you what you did to him in every sense of the word. you couldn’t help but stare, taking in the sight of him—his chiseled abs, the muscles in his arms, the way his chest rose and fell with every ragged breath.
“you’re so beautiful, rafe,” you whispered, your voice filled with awe.
his eyes never left yours as he stepped closer, his hands coming up to cradle your face again. “says you,” he murmured, the words a declaration that sent a thrill through your body.
his cock brushed against your stomach, hot and hard, and you reached for it, wrapping your hand around it. he groaned, his hips jerking slightly at the contact. you began to stroke him, your hand moving up and down in a slow, steady rhythm that had his eyes fluttering shut.
his hand slid down to your pussy again, his fingers finding your entrance. he slid one inside you, the sensation making you moan. he watched your face as he began to move it in and out, his thumb circling your clit. your breath grew shallow as the pleasure built again, your legs threatening to give out.
his eyes snapped open, a fierce love shining in their depths. “don’t think i’ll be able to stop myself,” he growled, his voice thick with desire. “are you sure you can handle it?” you nodded, unable to form words. your heart was racing, your body more than ready for him. he kissed you once more, his hand guiding his cock to your entrance.
the first push was slow, deliberate, giving you time to adjust to his size. he groaned, his eyes never leaving yours as he inched inside you. it felt like coming home, like the missing piece of a puzzle sliding into place. the feeling was so intense that you had to bite your lip to keep from crying out. once fully seated, he paused, his chest heaving against yours. “are you okay?” he whispered, his voice strained with restraint.
you nodded again, feeling a mix of pleasure and pain as he stretched you. you reached up, pulling his head down for a deep, desperate kiss. “i’m okay, fuck. make love to me, rafe,” you urged.
his eyes searched yours for a moment before a fierce smile spread across his face. he began to move, his strokes long and slow, each one driving him deeper. you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, your nails digging into his back. the room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, your gasps and moans mingling with the crash of the waves outside.
his hand found your tit again, his thumb teasing your nipple as his hips rocked against yours. he picked up the pace, the friction building a delicious ache deep inside you. “you’re so wet, so tight,” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “feel so good, baby.”
the words spurred you on, your hips moving in sync with his. you could feel yourself getting closer again, the tension coiling tighter and tighter. “yes, rafe, yes!” you moaned, your voice echoing in the room. his hand slid down to your clit, his fingers moving in time with his thrusts. the sensation was almost too much for you to handle.
his strokes grew more erratic, his breathing more ragged, and you knew he was close. “gonna cum, baby,” he grunted, his eyes never leaving yours. “gonna fill your pussy up, make you mine forever.”
the raw possessiveness in his voice sent you over the edge. you came hard, your body convulsing around him as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through you. he followed soon after, his cock pulsing inside you, filling you with his warmth.
you held onto him tightly, your breathing matching his, as the world outside the mansion faded away. it was just the two of you, connected in a way you’d never been before. as the aftershocks of your orgasm faded, you felt his weight shift, his body collapsing slightly against yours. it felt like the end to a dream, to something you’ve been chasing after your entire life, but it was only the beginning.
he didn’t pull out, and he wouldnt for a while. instead, he looked up at you, pushing away the sweaty strands of hair that stuck to your forehead. as he did so, his gaze dropped to the ring wrapped around your finger, slick with sweat. “pretty cheap for an engagement ring,” he murmured. “you should throw it out.”
you couldn’t help but frown, “why?”
“so that i can get you a better one.”
⋆. 𐙚 ˚
a/n: ok guys yes im aware that canon rafe would NOT be this sweet lovey dovey hopeless romantic but idgaf i have free will and tumblr so grease my feet
#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron#obx rafe#rafe obx#outer banks rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x reader smut#rafe smut#rafe angst#rafe fluff#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe x reader smut#outer banks smut#outer banks fluff#outer banks angst#drew starkey smut#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey angst#drew starkey x reader
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Caught in 4k H.C.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Reader x Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Lucien, Eris, and Tamlin
Warnings: mdni, 18+, smut, masterbation, mentions of multiple kinks if you squint
Summary: A collection of head cannons where you catch the ACOTAR boys fantasizing / jerking it :) Just for funsies and I hope you like, lol. I also included photos for each! <3
SR’s Note: Honestly I saw this new photo / fan art of Lucien andddd I had to do something with it. The ween was staring at me… I was quite literally caught in 4k. SO, here we are, here’s an idea, I rolled with it. Enjoy, all you freaks (;
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Rhysand
Would absolutely be jerking off at his desk, in his office. Doors locked, he thinks no one is home.
He would start slow of course, then speed it up, thinking about you — how you looked before you’d left for downtown Velaris this morning, your hair up in that cute ponytail that showed off your pretty face.
Last time he had you at his desk your hair had been in a ponytail. His fist made for a rather sturdy hair tie.
“Ohhh,” he let out a small sigh, thinking of how your body looked as he pounded into you relentlessly from behind, your round little ass reverberating with every snap of his upper thighs against it. He squeezed his cock harder, thinking about the sounds that came with those thrusts-
“Fuck, baby,” he whispered, his head rolling back as he relaxed back in his chair, pumping his cock faster and faster, the image of your naked body pushing him toward his impending release. The way the desk would creak as his dick reached unimaginable depths inside you, sliding in and out so fucking fast; your body fit perfectly with his.
“Rhys! I’m back!” Your honey-filled, sing-songy voice rang out from the downstairs foyer just before he could release, and he immediately halted his movements. How long had he been doing this? He glanced at the clock — surely you hadn’t been gone that long.
The soft patter of footsteps rang out on the stairs, and he stuffed his still-hard dick back into his formal pants, struggling to tug the zipper up and attempt to conceal his erection. You’d surely notice, and he’d surely be embarrassed.
The door to the office swung open, and sure enough, you stood — bags in hand, ponytail and all. The bright smile on your face faltered when Rhys’ failed attempt at a warm greeting was recognized.
“What’s wrong, sweet heart?” You asked, setting down the paper bags and striding over to his desk. No no no, he thought. You needed to get out of here, at least until he could calm down.
“Nothing, my love.” He smiled, embracing you as you moved to sit on his lap. You shifted slightly, looking at all the papers atop his desk.
“You’ve got a lot of work it seems,” you say. He sighs lightly. “Yes my love,” he responds, kissing your cheek. The feel of you against him stiffens his cock, and he can only pray you don’t notice.
“Mhm,” you hum, shifting on him once more. Rhys’ breath comes out ragged, and you side-eye him with a smirk. “Almost the same amount as when I left earlier,” you point out. A small tinge of pink flushes his cheeks and you chuckle, kissing the tip of his nose before gazing tensely into his eyes.
“What were you doing up here all alone, anyways?” He meets your eye with an equally challenging stare. “Working.” He says coolly. You smile humorlessly, moving to straddle him instead. Instinctively, his hands cup your ass, squeezing hard. He knew what you were doing, but you didn’t care. It worked, and that’s all that mattered.
“I have something… else… you could work on, if you’d like?”
Cassian
He’d trained with you enough by now that he’d gotten used to your… attire. The way your tight leathers clung to your body, every dip and curve of you outlined for everyone to see.
He didn’t care so much now that you’d been together so long, but something about you striding in that morning stirred something in him.
You were laughing in that vivacious way you did, usually with Gwyn and Emerie and Nesta — a lot of times, when he was lucky, with him too.
He smiled at the sound of your voice, floating down the stairwell toward the training ring. His back was to you; but when he turned and caught the sight of you, your legs bare and midriff exposed, his breath faltered a bit.
Sure, he’d seen you completely nude before, but in front of your peers? Your friends? Especially during training… he wasn’t sure how he would handle two hours of this kind of torture. He could already feel the blood rushing to his cock at the sight.
“Y/N this isn’t- You know for training you can’t-“ he fumbled. Gwyn giggled, and you rolled your eyes.
“Cassie, it’s like a hundred degrees in here today. You said we weren’t doing hand to hand anyway; what’s the harm in lighter clothing?” You shrugged. He only stared blankly at you, commanding his eyes not to drift past your collarbone.
His hand jerking his cock later that day was the harm in lighter clothing.
He let out soft breaths, leaned back as he sat on the edge of his bed.
He thought about how that tiny little tank top was stretched thin across your generous chest, how his eyes traced over the outline of your bra when you did your warm ups. Gods… how many times he’d ripped thin little things like those off of you, how many times he’d toyed with you, undoing your lacy bras you’d wear just for him…
He kept pumping, thinking about how your tits bounced when he purposefully assigned the group jumping jacks and high knees exercises, and how painful his cock grew during your session.
He thought back to the times he drilled into you on this very bed, your knuckles white on the headboard as he shoved his cock deep inside of you, your screams of pleasure only encouraging him further.
It was borderline torturous today during cool down yoga, watching you in downward dog, your spine arched, your long legs on display. Under your shorts, he could only imagine the panties you had on — maybe his favorite, the glittery kind he could easily slide down your legs with his teeth.
Usually, this was before he would lick your cunt until you shook beneath him, your slick covering his lips and chin.
Had no one else attended training this morning, he honestly would’ve taken you right there; yanked your mini shorts over that perky little ass and drove himself straight inside of you. “You want to tease me? You know what happens when you play around,” he knows you love it when he spanks you-
“Cassie?”
He stilled, his chest heaving as he opened his eyes. Lo and behold, you were before him again. You hadn’t yet changed out of your training attire, and as your eyes trailed over his form on the bed, taking in what he was doing — you closed the door behind you.
“Baby, I-“ he stammers, and you only smirk at him.
“I suppose the new outfit this morning worked, hm?”
Azriel
It was hard, so painfully hard having a mate as beautiful as Azriel. So hard having a mate so beautiful, but was gone so often on missions that you found yourself at times taking care of your needs on your own.
You couldn’t blame him for it, you were quite lucky. But little did you know, he would need to take care of his own twice as much.
On this occasion, it was a case of… well, miscommunication. He was scheduled to be gone on a mission, and you’d told him you would stay the night with Morrigan instead of being alone in your shared home for the evening.
Of course, that was not what happened.
Azriel finished his mission early. He reported to Rhys, flew back home, and was happy to have a night off with rest and relaxation. He even lit candles in the house, for christ sakes.
He knew you were at Mor’s, and though he missed you so much, he didn’t want to take away from girls night. He’d walked in on one once and… well… let’s just say he’d never do it again.
Azriel was padding around the flat, finishing the last few sips of black coffee from his mug when he passed the sapphire door. His steps faltered, only for a moment, and he tipped his mug back to drain it, still eyeing the opened door.
Curiousity, and years of spy work must have gotten the best of him. He sat his mug on the hallway table, pushing against the usually locked door. This room was off limits to everyone, that was, except you and Azriel.
His breath caught in his throat as he made his way through the room, sitting in the plush chair near the center of it.
“Oh…. my…” he breathed. He leaned forward, his gaze flickering between the various vibrators scattering the ground. He stared, feeling unable to move — that was, other than his dick, which began to twitch beneath his leathers.
He continued to gaze, cataloguing which items weren’t in their holding places. Other than the vibrators, there were clamps missing, and maybe-
His cock fucking throbbed. He sat back in the chair, yanking on the ties and binds to free himself from his pants. Finally, finally getting his dick in his hands, he allowed his mind to wander further.
When were you in here alone? It had to be within the last few days, it didn’t look like this before he left. He slid his scarred fingers over his long shaft, thinking of you in this room, the things you’d done together in here. What you’d likely done alone.
“Mmmm,” he grunted, holding himself tighter. He thought of your tight cunt, how he had to work his thick cock into you every. Single. Time. “Fuck,” he muttered. You always looked so beautiful, a gorgeous, ruined mess for him, all tied up on the bed. Gods, the sounds you’d make, how they’d echo off the walls, through the entire house-
“Fuck baby, so tight for me,” he groaned. He usually wasn’t so vocal, preferring to hear you much more instead, but alone… he wished he could talk your ear off. Tell you to play with yourself, right in front of him so he could watch.
Gods, if he were here, watching you cry out against your vibrator thinking about him… there’s no way he would be able to hold back.
“Good girl, good fucking girl, take it, take all of it-“ he sucks in a breath, his gaze snagging on a pair of lacy underwear discarded by the bed. He quickly snatches them up, remembering how they looked last time you’d had them on.
The soft sound of the front door opening and closing pulls Azriel from his haze, immediately tossing the underwear back under the bed. He shoves his dick inside his leathers, groaning as his pants protest against his size. You weren’t even supposed to be back tonight — maybe the plans with Mor fell through.
Within minutes, he’s closing the door as quietly as he can, sure you won’t suspect a thing. He smiles lightly to himself. Hopefully, if you’re home to stay, you’ll be in the mood to finish what he’d already started.
He’s almost halfway down the hallway, heading for the foyer when a cough sounds from behind him — the other end of the hallway. He turns slowly, and sure enough; his eyes meet yours. Only for a moment though; he can’t help but notice the sheer nightie you’ve managed to slip into, breasts pushed up from your hands clasped behind your back.
“Having fun in there by yourself?” You tease, jerking your chin toward the sapphire door across the hall. Azriel doesn’t move a muscle, his thoughts racing.
“H-how did you know I was in there?” He asks, his tone low. You only giggle, taking a few steps toward him and revealing your hands at once. One held his mug, which he hadn’t noticed wasn’t on the hallway table anymore.
“Seems we’ve both forgotten to put our things away, hmm?” You wink. “I’ve lived with the Spymaster long enough to pick up on a few things, Azzie.”
Lucien
With Lucien, things were always *almost* a little more than “friendly”. Sure, you’d been best friends for centuries now, but over time, you’d both begun to realize there was more to it than just being friends.
“It’s truly not that complicated,” Tamlin explained. “She likes you, you’re clearly in love with her — I don’t see where the problem lies?” But, Lucien still only sighed.
“We’ve been friends so long, I just don’t want anything ruined,” he’d explained. That only made his High Lord friend laugh.
“I think it was ruined, my friend, the moment you let your feelings cloud your judgement. Which was a very, very long time ago.”
Honestly, he wasn’t wrong. In your youth, you and Lucien were simply platonic; you’d grown up together, bonded over the horrors you’d both endured and helped each other through, and found comfort in relying on one another.
But over time, that changed. Suddenly, attending Balls and Galas with Lucien sent flutters through your stomach. Going to dinners with him on quiet evenings warmed your heart, and now when he brought you flowers for your table — it felt new, it felt… more.
“Well, aren’t you the loveliest couple Prythian has to offer!”
This would happen often.
One of you, or both, would hastily explain that you’re just best friends. Well, you used to, anyway. Last time the older woman in the market made a comment as such, Lucien just smiled politely and held your hand tighter, continuing on as though nothing happened.
The moment that had tipped it all though… oh boy. You’d been in the kitchen of the manor, baking apple tartlets as autumn was approaching and they were Lucien’s favorite from back home. He had joined you, wanting to learn from someone with such a talent and, honestly he just wanted to spend time with you.
“Okay, next we need flour… Lucie, that’s you,” you whispered the last part, and Lucien snapped out of his daze. His hand dropped from his chin, propping his head up on the counter as he gazed at you from across it.
“Hm? Oh, I’m sorry,” he stood, searching for and grabbing the bag of flour from behind him. You smiled, taking it from him and measuring out a few cup fulls. He resumed his position, looking to you once more.
You met his gaze, your hand stopping midway between the bowl and bag. “Lucien, I thought you wanted to help me,” you said.
“Right, right, I do,” he moved toward you, pushing up the sleeves of his tan waffle-knit sweater as you dumped in another cup. Your breath caught as his hands appeared on either side of you, the sudden feeling of his toned body pressing against your backside lightly ceasing the air from your lungs. You tried to remind yourself to resume your breathing as normal — the steady rise and fall of your shoulders measured now by his chin resting atop your left one.
“Next… we, have two eggs,” you explained. You take them from the carton, and Lucien chuckles behind you, his body so close you can feel every movement and muscle beneath his clothing.
“Allow me,” he says smoothly, his arms caging you in closer along your sides as his hands rest atop yours. “I think I know how to at least do this part.”
You allow yourself a laugh, but it comes out breathless. He does as such, cracking them into the bowl and setting down the shells.
“Alright, now next is… hey!” You squeal, turning to face him in shock. He laughs, his smile radiant as you look down your nose at the dash of flour smeared on it. You reach for the bag, but you’re too slow — Lucien has both of your wrists held tight in an instant, pinning you to the counter with his hips against yours. Your noses are mere inches apart, and he continues grinning.
“Lucien, this isn’t-“ He doesn’t let you get another word in before he smushes his lips against yours, and you instinctively soften against him. Years, you’d waited years for this — the feel of him against you, his lips touching yours. All of those almosts, all the lingering touches, all of the sleepovers and hugs that went on too long, all those times your hand held his.
Now that he’d had you once, he only wanted more.
Which was why he sat in his favorite spring meadow now, trying to clear his head.
He couldn’t.
He only thought of you.
You, in all your beauty. The way your hair would always fall perfectly around your face. How you felt, your soft lips pressed against his. How your body, he was so careful to protect, felt pressed against him that day. He hated how hard his cock was just thinking of your ass pressed against him.
When he’d caught you off guard and finally kissed you… Gods, you’d look so lovely laid across the counter, wrists held above your head in his grip. He’d worship you and kiss every inch of you if you’d let him. Tartlets be damned; he’s sure you’d taste even better.
He was smiling to himself in the afternoon light when the most beautiful voice made itself heard before him.
“I can only wonder what you’re dreaming about to have such…” You playfully tease, your sentence trailing off. His eyes fly open, and he sits upright, looking at you and trying to find some kind of response.
“No! No, I uh, was just drifting off, just lounging here, against this uh…” he pats the fallen tree trunk behind him.
“…wood?” You finish. He shakes his head slowly, a smile creeping onto his lips. You giggle, dropping to your knees before him and adjusting your skirt around you. You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and he blushed.
“Well, tell me what you were thinking, then? Maybe I’ve thought of things similar.”
Eris
It was a beautiful morning — perfect for the horseback ride Eris had planned with you that day. He knew you had a few duties to tend to into the evening, and he wanted to squeeze in a little alone time beforehand if he could. You were more than happy to oblige.
“I’m not sure I’ve seen the leaves this red so soon in the season before,” you pointed out, looking around the autumn grove in wonder. Eris looked too, his focus landing on you once more like it had countless times already that morning. He knew, of course his mate was gorgeous, but… you were truly getting the best of him today.
“Maybe the season is getting longer,” he said absentmindedly, watching how your hips moved forward and back as your horse trotted along. Fuck, if you didn’t have obligations clogging your schedule later today, he’d have you off that horse and sitting on him instead. Gods what he’d give to feel that tight, pulsing cunt throbbing on his awaiting dick-
“Ooh! Eris look! Those are honeycrisp!” You said excitedly. “We have to get some, your mother has been looking everywhere for these.” Eris mentally kicked himself for being such a … guy. He was so happy just to spend time with you right now, and of course his mind was going to sex when his absolute gift of a mate was innocently noticing the apples dangling from the trees, thinking of others while his mind was only thinking of you.
Then again, he only ever seemed to think of you.
“Anything for you, dear.” You flashed him a smile then, and his spirits lifted higher. He led his mare toward the trees, sliding off and tying the reigns as you slowly approached behind him. You were shorter than him, and though you had enough courage for the entire Autumn court, you didn’t mind a gentle helping hand every once in a while. You handed your mate your own reigns, watching as he tied them to a branch as you also made to de-saddle.
His strong hands slid around your waist, firmly placed on either side as he hoisted you from the animal with ease and set you gently on the ground in front of him. You grinned up at him then, your hands still on his shoulders as a sudden rush went through you. You couldn’t help but remember the excitement you’d felt all those years ago when he was but a simple schoolgirl crush to you; that feeling remaining even now that you’re mated to the Autumn heir.
“I love you,” he said then, his one hand cupping your cheek and pulling you in for a kiss. You leaned into him, his hands roaming over your body as you felt his pants tighten slightly against your stomach. You chuckled, breaking for air before he got too many ideas.
“Apples?” You suggested. He nodded, swallowing thickly, but you could see the lust swelling in his irises. Once all your tasks were done today, you were sure you’d be seeing more of this side of him later tonight. “Apples,” he agreed.
The Lady of Autumn was more than thrilled with the discoveries you and Eris had come back with, her gratitude for the both of you evident before she bid the both of you goodbye. Watching you go, even for a few hours felt like torture for Eris. He shook his head, cursing the dirty thoughts racing through his mind — but they wouldn’t stop.
They surely didn’t stop as he sat before the fireplace at sunset, lazily sipping the last remnants of whisky from his glass as he scanned over the court’s weekly newsletter. The words were a blur; he was just passing the time and waiting for you to come home. Waiting to get his hands on you again.
Gods, your lips had tasted so good this morning, so warm against the cool air of the grove. Fuck, that little waist… when he’d had you the other night, bent over on the bed, fucking himself into you relentlessly, his hands gripping your smooth skin-
He wasn’t sure when he set down his glass, or when his paper hit the floor, but his fingers were now gliding over his cock, throbbing with need. His head rolled back, short breaths coming out between his parted lips.
The way your body moved this morning… he let out a soft groan. He thought of you, sitting on his lap, the fire casting a golden glow around you, bouncing up and down on his length. You didnt need any other fire — you emitted light yourself, everything you did, everywhere you went. You were the sun itself.
“Y/N…” he sucked in a breath, yanking on his cock. He thought about the tiny lingerie you’d wear for him, how he could pull it down over your tits and take one of your nipples between his teeth as you rode him harder…
His groans were cut short as a soft, familiar mouth met his, and he slowed his strokes but smiled into the kiss in realization. You pulled back an inch, a few tendrils of your hair tickling his neck and shoulders as you leaned over the couch above him, taking the scene in fully.
“Did you miss me?”
Tamlin
The sharp knock at the door startled him, his gaze drifting from the reports on his desk to the entrance of his study.
“It’s nearly ten thirty, Sir,” Alis peeked her head in. “I’m going to turn in for the night, unless there was anything else you needed.” Tamlin’s eyes widened in realization, and he looked at the wall clock for confirmation. Sure enough, 10:27 p.m. He sighed heavily.
“No, no, I’m quite alright Alis. Tell me, has Y/N turned in already?” He asked. His heart clenched as he tugged on the bond with no response. He’d told you he would be done with these reports hours ago, but, per usual to no avail. He hated disappointing you.
“I haven’t seen her since nine, Sir.” Alis said. He only nodded, and she closed the door quietly. Tamlin rubbed his eyes, shuffling his files into neat stacks and flicking off his table side lamp before heading toward the master bedroom.
Upon entering, his heart dropped even more. Of course you’d gone to bed, why wait up? He’d done this before. Promised to be done with work only to stay awake for hours into the night, not giving you the attention you’d deserved from him.
You. His mate.
His mate that, upon further inspection, must have believed he would finish on time tonight. You’d fallen asleep in a petal-laden lingerie set, barely leaving anything to the imagination. Tamlin’s lips pressed into a thin line — it was one of his favorites. Now he really felt bad.
Not only did he feel bad… he felt horny.
He stepped as quickly and quietly as he could across the hall toward the master bathroom, closing the door and leaning against the sink.
His chest heaved, and he stared at himself in the mirror, his cock growing harder and harder in his pants. He needed a shower, now.
He flipped the water on, allowing the steam to cloud in the bathroom before he cracked open the door to the hallway, just an inch so some of the hot air could filter out. The moonlight illuminated the space enough through the window — he avoided turning on the lights.
It was only after he’d stripped and gotten into the warm water that he’d started fisting his cock.
Images of you played in his mind, some recent, some from the past. The first time you’d made love in the garden — you had daisy petals all through your hair, your back bridging as it arched in pleasure while he ate you out. Gods, you tasted so sweet — sweeter than any honey Tamlin had ever tasted, in his court or beyond it.
His free hand braced against the cool tile of the shower wall, his other running along his thick length faster.
The images burned into his brain of you laid out on his desk — one he’d been spending so much time at lately with his stupid papers — your mouth open, crying out his name as he worked your clit with his fingers.
Your hands felt so good tangled in his hair… he’d missed that so much, he knew it was his own damn fault for not giving you enough of really anything lately.
“Gods Y/N,” he gritted out, his teeth clenched. The warm water ran over the defined muscles of his back, a reminder, but not quite as exact as the feeling of your fingers on him during those nights of the frenzy. That’s when you’d gotten that adorable, flowery little number anyway that you were wearing now — were you asking to be fucked like that, again?
He groaned at the thought, biting his lip in anticipation. The way you’d looked, so peaceful and delicate, your hair laid prettily on your pillow — but he knew.
Every once in a while, you wanted him crazy. You didn’t want nice, gentle, garden love-making. You wanted mating-bond, frenzy-crazed, sex. The kind that had you once drenching the sheets with your cum, squirting from you as your mate pulled orgasm after orgasm out of you. The kind that had you shaking as you sat on his face, his nose nudging your clit as his tongue played in your folds.
“FUCK,” Tamlin swore, pumping his dick so hard, feeling his release building, imagining your tongue on him instead, your awaiting mouth and beautiful, round eyes gazing up at him from the floor…
“Looking for somewhere to, finish?” You asked, stepping lightly into the shower behind him. Tamlin stilled, his face flushing at being caught in the act.
“I… sweetheart I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, I-“
“You didn’t,” You interjected, crossing your arms beneath your breasts. Tamlin’s cock jerked, his eyes roaming hungrily over your naked body. The cute outfit was something, yes, but your body, just you — now that was something he’d prefer over anything.
“…but I wish you would have.” You raised an eye brow at him.
His eyes darkened at your words and he chuckled, looking to the floor and shaking his head slowly.
“Y/N, I don’t think I’ll be able to last very long-“
“Try me,” you challenged, stepping forward as his gaze met yours. “We haven’t yet done it in the shower.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚
#a court of thorns and roses#a court of silver flames#acotar#a court of frost and starlight#acosf#acofas#acotar smut#lucien acotar#lucien vanserra#lucien x reader#lucien vandaddy#lucien x y/n#lucien x you#lucien smut#eris vanserra imagine#eris x you#eris vandaddy#eris vanserra#eris acotar#eris x reader#azriel spymaster#azriel smut#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#rhys acotar#rhysand smut#high lord rhysand#rhysand acotar#rhys x reader
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A Broken Mug
Pairing: Jason Todd x GN!Reader
a/n: i wrote this because of @janybabyy hilarious comments on my last angsty drabble. It made my morning and I wanted to also contribute some fluff as an apology lol (there also might be a little steamy scene if u squint) i love reading comments and reblogs so leave some if your comfortable ENJOY (also the angsty drabble is here)
tags: tons of fluff, shameless flirting
3.5k words
When Jason went out on patrol, you busied yourself filling the time with aimless activities and chores until he came home. You didn’t plan on trying to shift your sleep schedule with his reversed one, but with your lenient job and bad sleeping habits, nothing was really stopping you.
You got to see him come back from patrol and took naps on the couch together, so you didn’t see any problem with it. Tonight was also any other night that you were walking around the apartment getting any chores done.
Your usual weekly mop and washing your dishes at three in the morning was productive. Until you tried to see how many mugs you can try to carry from the drying mat to the cabinet, then you dropped two mugs.
An old shark mug that would be missed and Jason’s birthday mug you got him last year. You wished you could reverse time, but you stood there watching the mess you created.
Now with the broken pieces, a tube of super glue and your will, you sat on the floor studying how to put the mug back together. The rug in your living room doubled as your current operating table as you laid your supplies around the fragments of Jason’s previous birthday gift.
You had two hours to make it looked like nothing happen, not cry and figure out if you picked up all the pieces. Then apologize to Jason and promise to never pick up a mug again.
…
You looked at your finished handiwork, eyeing the glued ceramic pieces of Jason’s mug.
It looked bad. The glue had settled in some of the smaller pieces, but almost the entire tube was gone and you were out of options. Maybe some last finishing touches, but that wouldn’t fix the problem of it being broken in the first place and you weren’t sure if this was even safe to drink out of anymore. If it didn’t leak.
Now your boyfriend’s precious mug became the victim of your carelessness. The handle broke off completely and the rim had several chipped pieces. With a final attempt you managed to somehow pray that the handle fit and it did, but there were definitely pieces that didn’t fit that smoothly.
Luckily, when the mug fell it didn’t fall onto the floor like the other victim, but onto the kitchen counter. The impact could’ve been worse, but some higher understanding kept most of the mug still intact, but ceramic was fragile, so only so much could be held together against the force of gravity.
“Maybe he won’t notice?” You sighed defeatedly picking at the dried glue.
“Notice what?”
You nearly jumped out of your skin at Jason’s voice. You didn’t expect him to be casually standing near the window, standing tall behind you in full Red Hood gear.
You always did manage to forget about his stealth and agility. You nearly smacked him with a pan when you thought a burglar was in your kitchen when you first started dating. Good thing the flowers he brought with him were unharmed.
After closing the window, he slowly removed his leather jacket and gloves with visible exhaustion in his movements, relieved to remove a layer of his nightly outings.
“Welcome home.” You softly spoke, but a bit of strain crept into your voice at the realization that you didn’t clean your mess in time. You whipped your head back to your crime scene that sat in front of you.
Trying to act as naturally as possible, you capped the glue shut.
“Another night of being a handsome vigilante taking down kidnappers and stopping drug trafficking?” You teased as you shifted your body fully toward Jason, no doubt the slight hesitation in your voice giving you away, but you grabbed the tube of super glue, quickly shoving it in your sweatpants pocket as you spoke.
“Nah, only drug trafficking.” Jason lazily said, not paying direct attention to your awkward movements as he emptied his hidden arsenal of weapons off his body. “I made Roy handle the kidnappers.” A hint of amusement in his voice as he stretched his body, muscles contorting. The movement more visible with his jacket off.
“Only drug trafficking.” You tried mimicking him, giving a bad deep voice impression. You slid the mug closer to you, flush against your back so he wouldn’t see it from his angle.
Jason stopped in the middle of his post-patrol routine to look at you. His helmet tilting at you slightly, analyzing you.
Shit. He noticed something.
“Jay, my love, did you shine your helmet recently? It looks shiny and I couldn’t help but notice—“ Your voice quickly died as your gaze shifted from his red helmet down to his hands on his utility belt, lazily resting on the release latch. The look was…wow.
“Cleaner and polish.” Jason spoke slowly, clearly feeling smug under his helmet. He was all too familiar with that look in your eyes. You could practically see the smirk forming.
Click. The belt released as it fell loosely around his waist. Your mouth felt dry. You snapped yourself out of your thoughts.
You can eye-fuck him later, you wanted to hide the cup, but delaying your apology until tomorrow didn’t feel right.
Jason gave one last glance at you, then resumed his attention to his gear as he took the belt off.
“I was thinking we could eat something simple tonight…or morning? I guess it’ll technically be breakfast.” You shifted to get up, grabbing the cup along with you. Thankfully you were able to grab the handle while keeping your eyes on Jason, making sure it wasn’t entirely noticeable.
Jason removed his helmet, a puff of air releasing as he placed it on the dining table.
“Wanna cook something or pick up? It’s kinda limited since it’s early, but there’s always something open.” His voice was clearer, more defined without the modulator distorting it. A slight raspiness that poked at you.
Without the helmet, you could see Jason’s messy hair, matted in some places and fluffier in others, a slight stubble pricking his jaw and that sweet exhausted expression that made him mellow. Your heart raced every time you saw Jason’s face after a night of patrol.
You need to focus. You were getting distracted.
A distraction. That’s what you needed.
With the cup still held behind your back, you walked to Jason as he was placing his belt on the back of the dining chair. He didn’t expect the sudden closeness, but didn’t refrain from it. He looked more…curious than anything.
Jason watched as you reached for his face with your free hand. You didn’t fully extend your arm, purposefully leaving some distance that he would have to fill himself. Giving him the time to come to you.
Sometimes Jason needed time to adjust after a night of patrol, some days he wanted to come to you and other days you had to step in and make baby steps towards him, guiding him back to the domestic life he shared alongside you. Either way you waited and were willing to wait as long as he needed.
This was one of the moments you reached out first, asking to touch him. It was a quiet signal letting your hand hang in the air. Sometimes he held that hand or he let you caress his face. Despite how much you told him he didn’t have to follow it every time, he always did. Like telling you ‘no’ would end him.
Like a magnet, Jason lowered his face placing his cheek in your hand, placing a kiss inside of your palm.
Your heart raced as you watched his careful movements.
He moved his own hand over yours, intertwining your fingers together, but keeping your hand on his cheek. His skin was slightly cold, but he kept your hand in his and he rubbed his face on your palm trying to absorb your heat. It must’ve been freezing outside, maybe you need to get him some hand warmers to keep in his jacket, but a part of you also wanted him to use you to warm himself up.
You felt him sigh as his lips touched your skin. His eyes closed as he fully lost himself in the moment, it felt like he was giving you a silent ‘I missed you’ as he refused to move from you and you squeezed his hand, hopefully giving the message back.
As he breathed your scent in, you counted his eyelashes while you waited, refusing to disrupt his moment from decompressing from patrol. You loved seeing his face from this angle because you could see that some of his eyelashes were white like his hair. It wasn’t that prominent, but your heart fluttered that you were probably one of the only people to know.
Your thumb caressed the edge of his eye, watching him lean into your hand more.
Jason’s eyes opened, barely enough to gaze at you, but you wouldn’t miss the devotion that sat in his eyes. He trusted you and is willing to give himself to you, to let you touch him. To ruin him, if you desired.
“Jay…” You breathlessly spoke into the intimacy pulling at you.
Jason stayed still, waiting for permission, for you to lead him in whatever direction you wanted. All of his resolve focused on what you desired. He was hesitant to even breathe too hard, if it meant you would move away.
You carefully leaned into him, mindful to not touch him more than you already were. Moving your hand from his cheek to the back of his neck. Pushing your fingers through the edges of his hair, his labored breathing on your lips as you hovered over his mouth, just near enough to touch his lips if you spoke.
You wanted his full attention.
You couldn’t tell if you tugged him first or he leaned in, but you were too lost in the kiss to care. You started with a gentle touch, but once Jason angled his face to bring your body closer to him, it felt like he wanted to engulf you.
You felt his fingers slowly itch onto your waist, playing with the fabric of your shirt. You flinched, surprised at the sudden, but welcomed touch. You moved your hand holding the cup—you forgot about the mug!
Luckily, your realization went unnoticed by Jason. He pressed into you, leaning your neck further back to adjust to his height. The new development let a sound reach his throat, but with your bodies this close, you could feel the murmur. Your stomach fluttered.
Before his hands could move toward your back, you maneuvered your arm still holding onto the cup to avoid getting tangled. You laid your arm on his shoulder, holding the mug by its handle, careful to not let the mug touch him, letting him get even closer.
The movement allowed him to breathe onto your mouth, lost in your contact. It made your stomach warm at the sound.
Your mind went blank and you instinctively followed the movements of the man in front of you. You lead him to this point, but with the permission you gave him, he followed his desires. You wanted him to want more, he barely asks for things and he deserved to be spoiled.
His hands found the edge of your shirt, placing his cold hands underneath onto your bare waist, rubbing the skin with his thumbs.
You shuddered. He watched the tremor in your body, resting his nose next to yours. Dwelling in intimacy and shaky breaths.
Once his hands started to warm against your heated skin, you looked up to him. Watching his reddened skin. Maybe you can mention the mug now.
“Jay…I broke—“
Jason was too infatuated with the moment and holding you in his embrace that he didn’t comprehend anything you were saying. He took advantage of your mouth opening to deepen the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, to keep yourself from falling and to somehow find a way to merge your body with his.
You took a sudden breath, releasing yourself from Jason’s mouth. A sudden…hunger in his eyes as he watched you breathe. You gripped onto the handle of the mug and Jason’s broad shoulder, overwhelmed by the combination of Jason’s touch, breathing and look.
He must’ve not felt any different as he nipped at your jaw, using his hand to cup your neck and angle your face up to give him more access.
“Jay—“ You breathlessly pleaded.
Clink.
The handle of the mug broke off, leaving the handle in your hand and the rest of the cup bouncing off of Jason’s back and shattering on the floor.
Both of your movements stop as Jason shoves you behind him, shielding you from the imaginary attacker.
You could only see the back of his shoulders and his flushed ears peaking out as you looked at the broken handle still in your hand.
“Jay…it’s fine.” You tapped his shoulder to point to the cup broken on the ground. “It’s my fault.”
“Wha?” Jason asked, still breathless as he was ready in attack mode.
“I was trying to tell you, but I—got distracted.” You cleared your throat.
Jason leaned down taking some of the broken pieces near his boot in his hands. Recognizing the fragments once he got a closer look.
“I’m sorry. I tried to fix it, but then I guess super glue isn’t as reliable as I thought—“
“Sweetheart—“ Jason soothed as he stood up.
“Then I forgot about the time and you came back before I could figure out what to do. I can buy you a new one—“
“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He placed his hand under your chin, grabbing your attention. “It’s really alright.”
“But look at it.” You defeatedly gestured to the broken handle still clutched in your hand.
Jason could only laugh watching his partner sadly show him the aftermath of their handiwork, his full set of teeth visible, giving him the cute boyish look you loved.
“You don’t have to apologize, it’s really okay.” He grabbed the handle out of your hands. “I’m glad you didn’t cut yourself from the broken pieces, but we don’t need to fix it.”
He had a smirk on his face.
“Especially with super glue.”
“Hey! I had to use what we had in the drawers.” You puffed.
He placed the pieces on the counter. Carefully moving you to the couch, so you don’t step on any sharp pieces. Cleaning up the mess of his cup.
You silently watched, making you feel worse. Jay noticed your sullen look and consoled you as he swept up any left over pieces.
“I have shoes on still and your in your socks, I just want to make sure it’s safe.”
You frowned further.
A small tender smile spread across his face as he properly disposed of the remaining pieces and walked over to the couch. Your eyes followed his form as he kneeled in front of you, making him sit just below your eye level with your legs in between his, gently taking your hands in his as he methodically rubbed your skin with his thumb. His hands were warm now, probably from your earlier…activity.
“My love, it’s okay. We can replace it or get an entirely new one.”
“But it was a matching set.” You rubbed his hands back.
“Doesn’t mean we can’t choose a new set.” You looked up from both of your hands to his gentle gaze, filled with so much warmth and understanding. “I’ve been meaning to take us to that new pottery place you talked about. We can each make a mug, okay, sweetheart?”
You brought his hands to your lips, gently placing a kiss on his rough hands. A mesmerizing hum left Jason’s mouth.
“Can you make one for me and can I make one for you?” You quietly asked.
Jason laughed, the cute smile poking through again.
“I would love that.”
Maybe breaking Jason’s mug wasn’t so bad after all.
…
Your date to the pottery place was even better than you expected. You got to try something new, Jason made a few cheesy Ghost pottery scene jokes that the instructor probably heard too often and you got to watch Jason’s hands intricately make your brand new mug.
You were internally thanking your clumsiness for breaking his cup earlier in the week and blessing you with the scene of your boyfriend’s biceps. You wish you could brand the memory into your eyes.
Now you tried to concentrate as you painted Jason’s mug. You both decided on painting things about the other person onto the cup, a completely unique design.
You managed to decide on an overall simple red color (surprising, I know), paint a wonder woman emblem and a simplified doodle of Jason’s face. It was your proudest work.
You even snuck in a clumsily written “I love you” with a tiny Red Hood doodle at the bottom of the inside of the cup. A cheesy surprise for him.
“I don’t think I’m made for the arts.” Jason carefully held the paint brush in his hands.
“Don’t say that, your mug shape looks better than mine. Sorry that I made yours a little wonky.” You looked at the slightly slanted rim of the mug.
“I love wonky. You know me so well.” He playfully flirted.
You chuckled at your love-struck boyfriend. You could have given him a ball of clay and he would’ve proudly kept it on his nightstand. You just rolled your eyes at him, knowingly that you also didn’t care if Jason bought a plain cup and handed it to you. You would love it all the same.
A small quiet silence, both lost in your individual masterpieces. You looked up to watch Jay, who concentrated with furrowed brows, trying to add his iconic red bat symbol to your cup. When you noticed he also painted a couple cracks around the handle, clearly digging at the broken handle you religiously held onto earlier that week.
“You’re never going to let that down.” You sighed.
“Huh?”
You pointed at the handle, a smirk appearing on his face.
“Of course, sweetheart, I wish I could’ve gotten a picture of how sad you looked. I would’ve made it my wallpaper.” He chuckled.
“Don’t make fun of me, I was really nervous about telling you. And I lost a pair of sweats because the super glue decided to permanently close my pocket.”
“I’m not, I thought it was cute.” He looked up from your mug. “Besides I already saw it when I crawled into the apartment.”
“What!?” You almost shouted. “What do you mean? You knew?”
“I didn’t know anything, just saw it, but you gave yourself away after you called me ‘my love’ and then I just wanted to see what you were planning.” He finished painting the outline of his iconic bat symbol. “You always call me that when you’re up to something.”
“That’s embarrassing.” You put your paint brush on the table, attempting to cover your flushed face with the back of your hand, careful to not put any paint on your face. “I thought I managed to get past you, but I guess making out doesn’t really count as a distraction.”
“Oh, no, I was distracted, so I guess your plan worked.” He placed his finished work on the table. “But, you’ll have to try harder next time, my love.”
He was getting too cocky now.
“If I tried harder, you would have a hard time getting up in the morning, my love.” You teased.
Jason’s eyes widened. A second to process what you said, then a brazen look in his eye appeared.
“What if that’s my plan all along, my love?” He shamelessly asked.
You leaned in closer to Jason’s side, hiding your voice away from the other customers in the shop.
“One of us isn’t going to be able to walk and it won’t be me.” You joked, both of you laughing at one another. You moved away from Jason. “I think we better stop before we get kicked out, your Ghost jokes earlier already have us on the instructor’s last straw. If it’s not cringy jokes, we’ll be kicked out for indecency.”
“There goes my plans of making out next to the kiln.” Jason shook his head. “I guess it would be bad if we couldn’t pick up our mugs later.”
Your eyes widened at your boyfriends hidden plans. A small twinkle of mischievousness in his eyes.
“We have to change up our make out spots once in a while, can’t let them catch on.” You playfully nudged his arm.
Jason smiled and brought your hands up to his mouth, a small kiss on your knuckles that were covered in paint.
A flutter inched in your stomach at the brief contact.
“Then we should schedule a knitting class tomorrow.”
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Invisible | Part 10
Pairings: Bucky x Reader AU
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: Angst, stupidity, annoyingness lol
A/N: This is the shortest chapter i have lol i also lowkey might add flashbacks into each chapter to add more depth and show more of the before.
The door slams behind you, leaving the apartment in silence, and for a moment, Bucky just stands there, his fists clenched, heart pounding as he processes what just happened. His chest is tight, and he feels the rage and regret building up until it erupts.
With a frustrated yell, he grabs the nearest lamp and hurls it across the room. The shattering glass echoes, cutting through the silence like a knife. Pieces scatter across the floor, a reflection of the chaos inside him.
“Goddammit!” he shouts, his voice cracking as he rakes his hands through his hair, pacing in circles like a caged animal. His breaths come fast and shallow, his mind racing through the night, every word exchanged like a dagger twisting deeper into his chest.
For a few seconds, he just stands there, staring at the broken lamp, his hands trembling. But the stillness is unbearable. He bolts for the door, flinging it open and stepping out into the hallway, shouting your name, his voice raw and desperate. He runs outside looking up and down the sidewalk “ Come on, don’t do this—please!”
But his voice is swallowed by the noise of a New York City Saturday night—distant laughter, honking horns, the steady hum of life moving on without him. He looks up and down the street, hoping, praying for even a glimpse of you, but you’re gone.
His pulse quickens, panic clawing its way into his chest. He rushes back inside, snatching his phone off the coffee table. His fingers fumble over the screen as he types out a frantic message.
Where are you? Please come back.
He hits send, but the empty silence that follows feels like a punch to the gut. He types again, his hands shaking as his heart pounds against his ribs.
I’m sorry. Just tell me you’re okay.
The seconds stretch into eternity as he stares at the screen, waiting for something—anything. When nothing comes, he dials your number, his thumb trembling as he presses the call button. He presses the phone to his ear, the ringing tone like a ticking clock in his mind.
Then he hears it: a faint buzzing, too close. His stomach drops as he turns toward the ceramic bowl by the door—the one he’d made for you last year on your birthday. A bowl meant for keys, little mementos… or your phone. He steps toward it slowly, as if delaying the inevitable, and peers inside. His chest tightens when he sees your phone lying there, abandoned.
“Dammit,” he whispers, his voice cracking. His hand hovers over it for a moment before he picks it up, his knuckles white around the edges. You’d left it behind. The weight of it all—the fight, his words, the reality of you walking out like that—hits him like a freight train.
He sinks down onto the floor, clutching your phone in his lap, his head falling into his hands. His breaths come in uneven gasps, and for the first time in years, tears spill freely down his face. He sees it all replaying in his mind: the way your face crumpled as you turned away, the sound of the door slamming behind you, the silence that followed.
Go. I don’t want you here.
The words ring in his ears, echoing with all the venom and finality he hadn’t meant but couldn’t take back. They were born out of fear and frustration, but now they feel like the truth—like he’s pushed you away for good.
After a moment, he wipes at his face, sniffs, and forces himself to his feet. This isn’t over. It can’t be.
He throws on his coat and rushes out the door, his mind racing as he retraces all the places you might have gone. First, the bar down the street—the one you’ve spent countless nights in, laughing over drinks, sharing secrets you wouldn’t tell anyone else. But it’s packed, unfamiliar faces filling the space where you should be.
Next, the café where you always get your Sunday morning coffee. The lights are dimmed, chairs stacked on tables. Closed. His heart sinks, but he presses on.
The bookstore is next. The one with late hours, where you could spend hours flipping through old paperbacks and laughing at obscure poetry collections. But it’s empty too, the familiar warmth of the shop now a cold reminder of how lost you are.
Finally, he heads to the park. The park where you’d spent so many nights sitting on the old wooden benches, talking under the stars. It’s quiet here, the hum of the city fading into the background. He sits down on one of those benches, his head falling into his hands as his shoulders shake.
He’s failed you. He’s failed himself. The weight of everything he’s been holding back—the fear, the love, the guilt—crashes down all at once. Silent tears stream down his face as he tilts his head up toward the sky, the stars blurring through his tears.
Then his phone buzzes in his pocket.
He scrambles for it, hope surging in his chest, but when he sees the name, his heart twists painfully.
Steve.
His thumb hovers over the screen before he opens the message.
She’s here. She walked from the apartment without her phone or coat. You let her walk out like that? What the hell were you thinking?
Bucky’s throat tightens, and his fingers curl around the phone. His vision blurs as he reads the words over and over, Steve’s anger matching his own self-loathing. He types out a response, but his fingers falter, and he deletes it. What could he say? There was no excuse for what he’d done.
Instead, he slips the phone back into his pocket and leans forward, burying his face in his hands. The ache in his chest deepens, and for the first time, he lets himself feel the full weight of what he’s lost.
He stares up at the sky again, the stars offering no comfort, only the cold realization that he might have pushed you away for good.
And he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get you back. But he never really had you in the first place.
As you step out of the shower, the quiet hum of voices drifts down the hall. Curiosity—and a bit of anxiety—tugs at you as you wrap yourself in a towel and press your ear to the bathroom door. Relief washes over you when you recognize Natasha and Wanda’s voices mixed with Sam and Steve’s, and you close your eyes, exhaling slowly. They’re here; you’re not alone.
Gathering yourself, you open the door and step into the living room, where Natasha is pacing, visibly agitated, while Wanda sits on the couch, her face full of concern. Sam and Steve stand nearby, leaning against the counter, both looking serious. When they see you, the conversation pauses, and Natasha stops mid-rant.
“Hey, there you are,” Wanda says softly, standing up to meet you. “Are you feeling any better?”
You offer a small smile. “Yeah, thanks. Just… processing, I guess.”
Wanda nods, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “We’re here for you. Whatever you need.”
Natasha, however, looks ready to explode. She crosses her arms, her eyes flashing with anger. “It is not okay,” she says firmly. “You don’t just let your so-called best friend walk out alone at night, without so much as a phone or coat.”
You shrug, avoiding everyone’s eyes as you tuck a damp strand of hair behind your ear. “Maybe… maybe we were never really friends. Maybe it was just the convenience of it all, you know?”
Wanda’s eyes widen slightly as she squeezes your shoulder, her voice soft. “You don’t mean that.”
You don’t answer because you know thats just bullshit, but thinking that hurts less, you sigh running a hand through your wet hair, glancing down as the hurt lingers in your chest. The silence stretches for a moment before Natasha breaks it, her tone gentler now.
“So… how was your date with Dean?” she asks, a note of curiosity softening her expression.
A sad smile tugs at your lips. “It was… everything a girl could dream of. He was respectful, charming… and he actually listened to me.” You laugh quietly, shaking your head. “It was perfect.”
Natasha raises an eyebrow, looking hopeful. “So… are you going to go on another one with him?”
You hesitate, glancing in Steve’s direction for a brief second before looking back at Natasha. “Yeah… I think so.”
Sam shifts, clearing his throat, a hesitant look on his face. “So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but… you and Bucky still live together. What’s the plan?”
You feel everyone’s eyes on you, and for a moment, the weight of it all settles heavily. You swallow, looking down, and shrug. “I don’t know,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t just… keep going back to the way things were. But I don’t know what comes next either. He’s Bucky yknow?”
Steve watches you, his face soft and understanding, and he offers a reassuring nod. You take a deep breath and settle onto the couch, feeling the weight of everyone’s concerned gazes. After a pause, you look around, your voice soft but firm. “Look, you guys can’t just be here for me. You’ve gotta be there for Bucky, too.”
Natasha scoffs, crossing her arms and shooting you a look. “As if! He’s the one who let you walk out in the middle of the night!....In New York!!! You’re too good of a friend if you’re even thinking about him right now.”
You give her a sad smile, shrugging slightly. “It’s… not about that, even if it was i wouldn’t of let him stop me, i made the decision to leave, i-i could have went to my room and --”
Natasha throws her arms up “Really? Are you kidding me? I love you babe but you’ve been defending him your whole life, he needs to take fault!”
You shake your head, your voice slight rasing “Its not that simple Nat and you know it” You hear her grumble before continuing “He’s going through something too. We’re all friends for a reason, right? We don’t get to just pick sides.”
Natasha rolls her eyes, groaning. “You’re way too good of a friend. Honestly, you’re killing me here.”
You manage a weak chuckle, but before you can respond, you hear Sam moving toward the door. He grabs his keys and his phone, his expression resolute.
Steve raises an eyebrow, looking over at him. “Where are you going?”
Sam glances back, determination in his gaze. “You heard the woman,” he says, nodding toward you. “I’m gonna go be a friend to one of my best friends.”
A surge of gratitude rises in you, and you give him a small, sincere smile. “Thank you, Sammy.”
He nods, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looks at you, and his voice holds a quiet warmth. “What are friends for?”
1 month ago
The air was crisp, filled with the mingling scents of freshly baked bread, blooming flowers, and sizzling street food. The bustling energy of the farmer’s market buzzed around you as you strolled through the vibrant stalls. Your arm was linked with Bucky’s, the two of you laughing as you navigated through the crowd, the warm Sunday morning sun casting a golden glow over everything.
Natasha and Wanda were a few stalls back, rifling through retro furniture pieces and vinyl records for their new apartment. Sam was predictably at a food truck, enthusiastically sampling every free bite they offered.
“You know where we’re headed,” you said with a grin, gently tugging Bucky toward the familiar book stall at the far end of the market.
He chuckled, squeezing your arm lightly. “Obviously. Can’t leave without finding something we don’t have space for on our shelves.”
You both were English majors, and literature had always been your shared sanctuary. The book stall was a small haven of dog-eared novels, rare editions, and hidden gems that called to you like an old friend.
But as you approached, Bucky suddenly stopped in his tracks. His grip on your arm loosened, and his head turned sharply, his expression shifting. “Kate?” he said, more to himself than to you.
Before you could even process it, his arm slipped out of yours, and he was weaving through the crowd, heading toward a figure you hadn’t noticed until now. A brunette. He didn’t say another word, leaving you standing there, your heart sinking as his back disappeared into the sea of people.
You blinked, dumbfounded. “Okay… what just happened?”
“Hey,” a familiar voice said behind you. You turned to see Steve approaching, a paper bag of pastries in hand. His brow furrowed slightly as he glanced around. “Where’d Bucky go?”
You shrugged, trying to keep your voice light. “He saw someone he knew. An old friend, I guess.”
Steve nodded slowly, his concern softening into curiosity. “Did you two make it to the books yet?”
You forced a small smile. “No, not yet. We were about to.”
Steve tilted his head, offering his arm with a warm smile. “Well, do you want to look somewhere else while we wait for him to come back?”
Your heart ached a little, but his kindness made it easier. “Sure,” you said, linking your arm with his. Steve always had a way of making things feel okay, even when they weren’t.
He led you toward the next section of the market, where stalls displayed vintage jewellery, scarves, and other unique trinkets. As you browsed, your eyes caught on something that made you gasp softly—a locket, its delicate gold surface glinting in the sunlight. It looked almost identical to the one you’d lost at some stupid college party that led to a panic attack, it had been so precious to you because it was a family heirloom passed down multiple generations that you of all people lost. It hit you hard.
You picked it up carefully, running your thumb over its intricate design. It was beautiful, and for a moment, you felt that familiar pang of nostalgia, of longing. But when you flipped it over, searching for a price tag, you found none. You sighed quietly, already knowing what that meant. You’d only set aside money for books today—not for a locket, no matter how much it tugged at your heart.
Reluctantly, you set it back down, giving it one last wistful glance before turning back to Steve. He’d been watching you, his expression soft, but before he could say anything, Bucky reappeared, his usual grin plastered on his face.
“Sorry about that,” Bucky said, running a hand through his hair. “I saw someone from college.”
You raised an eyebrow, forcing your smile to stay in place. “Oh?”
“Yeah, remember that girl I had the project with in our last year? Kate. That was her,” he said, nodding toward where she’d vanished into the crowd. “Haven’t seen her since graduation. Got her number, though!”
“Cool,” you said, your voice light but not quite steady. Your chest ached, but you buried it quickly. Even the farmer’s market wasn’t safe from heartbreak, it seemed.
Bucky held out his arm again, his smile as warm as ever. “Shall we?”
You nodded, linking your arm with his once more. “Sure,” you said, glancing over at Steve. “You coming with?”
Steve shook his head, a soft smile on his lips. “No, I’m gonna check out one more stand. Meet you guys at the benches for lunch?”
“Sounds good,” Bucky said, steering you back into the crowd. “Don’t take too long, Rogers. Sam’s probably already ordered for everyone.”
Steve waved you off, waiting until you and Bucky were out of sight. Then, he turned back to the vendor, his gaze settling on the locket you’d been admiring.
“I’ll take that locket, please,” Steve said quietly, pulling out his wallet.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#sebastian stan x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes angst#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader angst#james bucky barnes#steve rogers x reader#mcu fanfiction#marvel fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes
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𝑷𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 & 𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎
𝙋𝙧𝙤-𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞 𝘽𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙜𝙤𝙪 𝙭 𝙋𝙧𝙤-𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙁𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
Minors Do Not Interact
All characters aged up, 21+.
One Shot
Warnings: Smut, fluff, pinning (Bakugou), mentions of fighting, mentions of blood, pheromones, breeding kink, lewd, mutual feelings, friends to lovers, mentions of Deku having a crush on you, jealousy, and more. (If I missed anything, my bad I did this half asleep.)
About: Number two hero Katsuki Bakugou just can’t seem to get you off his mind. Harboring a secret crush on you since your days at UA. But when you finally come back from a mission that took you overseas, he can’t help but want to keep next to you at all times.
It felt like forever since you step foot back in Japan, the United States needed the aid of some of Japans finest heroes on a year long mission. You had kept in contact with all of your friends during your time there, just making sure everything was going smoothly back home. You especially kept in touch with Japans number two hero, Bakugou Katsuki.
It wasn’t uncommon to have a conversation a day with the explosion hero before departing for your mission. You ended up becoming closer to him than ever before when everyone graduated UA. However, your conversations became longer once you left for the states.
It started off as little conversations about your mission, asking how long you’d be gone. How many heroes were taken for the mission. Which part of the states you’d be in. The main topic being about the mission, but somewhere along the way it morphed into something more. More of how has your day been? Did you rest enough? What did you have for dinner? Have you gone out at all since being in the states? You should have seen what happened to me today! I have to go to this stupid hero gala, pray I don’t blow anyone up! Just a subtle yet progressive movement of your friendship with the blonde. You didn’t mind it a bit, over the years you secretly looked forward to having these kind of meaningful and meaningless conversations with him.
He had been messaging, calling, and even FaceTiming with you all the way up to your return home. A chuckle coming to your lips as to saw his name flash on your phone screen the moment your plane landed in Japan.
Blasty (5:30am): “You better be fucking ready for everyone to flood you with welcome home messages. But I had to be the first to beat all those extras.”
You (5:34am): “Always aiming to be number one, huh Katsu?”
Blasty (5:35am): “Damn right! Welcome home, y/n.”
You (5:43am): “Thank you! My agency is throwing a massive ball for the return of all of us! You better be there.”
Blasty (5:44am): “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Princess. Who ya take me for? Kaminari?”
You (5:59am): “LOL. Never. I can’t wait to see you!”
You pocketed your phone away after you saw the gif he send a second later, a guy giving a thumbs up with a deadpanning face. If anyone else looked at the messages between the pair of you? It would look like a couple just having a cheeky conversation. You sometimes wished it was that way. But you had long given up the idea of Bakugou looking at you in that type of light. Content of having him become your best friend. However, on the other side of the phone? Bakugou Katsuki couldn’t wait to see your beautiful face.
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“What’s got you smiling at your phone so early in the morning, Bakubro?” Kirishima's voice sounded out behind the fiery blonde. Bakugou quickly pocketed his phone away to give a glare at his best friend and roommate.
“Mind your business, shitty hair! I wasn’t smilin’…” Bakugou huffed, his nostrils flaring as his friend could only laugh at him. Making the blonde return more rage at his red haired companion. “What you laughin’ at shit for brains?! You got a death wish?”
Kirishima clutched his sides, pretending to wipe away a tear from his lash line. After he was done with his little laughing fit, he looked at his best friend with joy and happiness in his eyes. “She’s finally back home, huh?” He couldn't help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. While his hot-headed best friend looked as if he stole the last cookie from the cookie jar.
Bakugou nodded back at Kirishima, shoving his phone back into his pocket before huffing out. "I wanted to be the first one to welcome her back..." He felt his cheek become hot, he knew that it was stupid to harbor this crush still. He could just be honest with how he felt. Somewhere deep down inside, he felt like you wouldn't accept him back. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you if that was the case. He was content to just be on the sidelines for you, something he would never do for anyone else in his life.
Kirishima didn't understand why his best friend would get so embarrassed by something like this. It wasn't like you hadn't seen every side of Katsuki before. You stuck around him through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. Just like he did. If anyone was perfect enough, or meant to be with Katsuki? It was you.
"Should just tell her, man. You look like a little puppy whenever you speak with her. It's cute." Kirishima laughed as he started to run off, hearing a pillow smack into the wall he rounded while Bakugou screamed curses at him.
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It wasn't even two days later when your hero agency threw this massive party to welcome back home all of the heroes that went overseas. Everyone who was anyone was attending, which meant all of your pro-hero friends were coming to see you. Sure, you were excited to see them all. Catch up face to face, but you were most excited to see Bakugou.
The stylest that was given to you, dressed you to the nines. Your sequence crimson dress was snug to your frame, hanging low at your back. A pair of black heels to match along with your black clutch, honestly you were a sight to behold. Anyone's imagination could run wild seeing you in this dress. It just made everything fit in the right place. Light make-up, nothing too distracting from your choice in formal wear. However, tonight you decided not to hide the scar that ran along the left side of your face. Right over your eye, it slit your eyebrow a little. You were tired of trying to hide it at this point, you weren't ashamed of it. Just a battle scar you picked up in the States.
You wouldn't say you were nervous, there was however a little hum that stayed in the back of your mind. Was this going to be overwhelming? Was it going to be too much for just coming back home? What if people didn't remember you? These thoughts flooded your mind the whole car ride to your agency. Only for them to be stopped as you saw the flashes of the shutterbugs waiting at the entrance to get pictures of the arriving heroes. Shouting question after question as you exited the car, giving them your best-practiced smile as you made your way inside.
Your agency didn't cut costs for how well they did the place up, it honestly didn't even look like an agency anymore. They turned a brick office building, into a stunning ball-like palace. With food that almost looked too good to eat, and music that made the place feel light and airy. It was refreshing, to say the least, it made your heart warm. It also caused your quirk to emanate off you slightly, the scent of peaches wafting into the air as you moved through a sea of people. Finally spotting a face that you had come to be very friendly with over the past year away. Rushing to get to their side and feel a bit of comfort.
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Bakugou Katsuki was never late for anything, but tonight was different. Since Kirishima promised that they would give Kaminari a ride, they were going to be late. Much later than Bakugou could tolerate at this point. He was antsy, shaking his leg in the backseat as they finally made their way to the agency. Thirty fucking minutes later than they should have been if only that damned Kaminari was ready on time...Bakugou would have already seen your pretty face. Hear your breath-taking laugh, and held you close to him. It was all that was keeping him sane for the car ride, that he will be able to do that soon.
Decked out in a tux, with a crimson red tie to match his eyes he finally arrived at your agency. Glaring and hissing at the shutterbugs as he pushed his way into the building. He had a set goal, finding you. Hastily pushing through the crowd, but what really caught his attention to find you was the smell of peaches in the air. That syrupy smell made his mouth water and filled his senses with nothing but you. If he was honest with himself, he used to hate it. It was so distracting, it would make his mind mush. Make his teeth ache with the smell alone while making his pants tighter around his crotch. After years of knowing you, letting that scent take over his mind again and again? He welcome it, he craved it in his daily life. Even went as far as buying peach rings or peach-flavored yogurt just so it would be like you were always with him. He loved the scent, following the trail that lead to you.
That's when he saw you standing at the bar, looking as beautiful as the day he first met you. He took you in for a moment, relishing in the way your nose scrunched up as you laughed. How you would tip your head back a little to stop that laughter, and how your cheeks were dusted pink from the drinks you already had in your system. You were a vision in his eyes, the most gorgeous thing he ever got the pleasure of being around. But that all faded for a second as he noticed who you were with.
Even though Bakugou had made his peace with Izuku, he couldn't help that little green monster of jealousy rear its ugly head within him. Watching you shower Izuku in your warmth and joy, sucked it right out of Bakugou himself. That was supposed to be him making you laugh, making you touch his arm for support. Not Deku. Anyone but Deku. He almost walked away, he almost went in a different direction. Not wanting to say the wrong thing as he watched his long-time friend flirt with the girl of his dreams. However, you had caught his eye. Excusing yourself from Izuku to practically run up to Bakugou.
"Katsuki! You came!" You yelled over the other people speaking and the music. Pulling the blonde into a tight embrace. Bakugou felt his whole body stiffen for a moment, his brain stalling. Before correcting himself, wrapping his arms around you. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled that sickly sweet scent that he loved. Basking in your presence a little longer than what typical friends would do. Before unraveling himself from your body.
"Course I did, Princess. Wouldn't miss it for the world." He rasped low, Keeping a hand on your waist as you beamed up at him. This is what he has been waiting for, for a year now. To just be around you, be close to you. Once he finally took all of you in, his brows furrowed a bit. Bringing a thumb up to rub at the tail end of your scar that hit your cheekbone. "When did ya get this?"
You paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking back at him. "Maybe about a month or so into the mission." You brought your own hand up and over Bakugou's, rubbing the top of his hand for a moment before continuing. "I had to keep up with appearances over there, so my PR team made me cover it up all the time. I just...didn't feel like hiding it anymore."
"Why didn't you mention it to me? How ya get it?" He rasped again, a little bite to his question. Almost as if he was hurt that you didn't tell him.
"It was always covered with make-up, I didn't see the point of speaking about it when at some point I knew you'd see it." You bit back a little, not enjoying his tone. "A fight broke out within the mafia I had to be a spy in. A guy pulled a knife and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Luckily I didn't lose my eyesight, Izuku was actually the one that got the guy away with the knife. So, honestly, I owe him a huge thanks."
Now that stung a little bit for Bakugou, not being the one to come to your aid. Not being the one to be on the mission with you. For you to owe a debt to Deku of all people. It made his jaw clench, and his free hand ball up into a fist. The light scent of caramel wafting into the air as Bakugou’s quirk was acting up. Most people wouldn’t really care that they could smell it but you knew what was happening.
“Katsuki…what’s going on?” You questioned as the scent of his quirk came to your nose. Causing you to hold onto his arm, trying to bring him back down to earth. Making him look at you for a moment. “What’s got you so upset?”
Katsuki took a deep breath, his crimson eyes finally leveling with yours before he grabbed onto your hand. Making sure his palms weren’t too hot to touch you. He led you out to the balcony, away from everyone else. At the bar, a certain green haired man was watching. A displeased look on his face before he chuckled to himself.
“Izuku, what’s gotten into you today? You haven’t taken your eyes off her.” Shinso finally asked his friend, watching him look like a wounded dog. His own purple eyes looking over to see Bakugou leading you elsewhere.
“I-…I got really close to y/n. On the mission that is. But I always knew I was coming in second. She’d speak to him daily…I saw it in the way her eyes would light up when his name came across her screen. I guess I can’t be number one in everything.”
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Out on the balcony, Katsuki moved you both towards the small seating area at the far end of the balcony. But neither of you sat, Katsuki just leaned against the railing. His palms rubbing over his face once he let go of you. “What is going on.” You finally asked, holding onto your own arms.
He was silent for a long moment, his hands gripping the railing tight before finally sighing. His eyes never left yours, like he was staring into your soul. “I just…fuck. I don’t know how to say it, princess. Not without it fucking everything up.”
“What are you going to fuck up?” You would question while moving up to him. To grabbed his cheeks, making him keep his attention on your eyes before rubbing them softly. “Please, Katsuki…honey. I don’t know what’s going on.”
At the pet name you had given him so long ago, it felt like all his worries disappeared in a moment. Moving to rest his hands on your hips, letting his fingers dig there for a moment. “I-…I’m- shit! This is so hard…I’m so embarrassed. Goddamnit I’m in love with you, ok!” He finally huffed it out, making his eyes look down once more so he didn’t see the reaction on your face. “But that damn Dek- Izuku might have a place in your heart and I don’t know how to handle that.”
You gave his cheeks a little shake, making his eyes meet yours again. All yours showed was kindness and love, with the small smile on your lips. “Honey…Izuku doesn’t have a place in my heart. Maybe as a great friend but nothing more.” You said while stroking the sides of his cheeks, moving in a little closer. “Who have I been speaking to everyday even before I left? Who has seen every little ugly side to me? Who have I told everything to?” You asked, noticing the way Katsuki shrugged his shoulders. You chuckled a little. “You, dumbass. It’s all been you. I’m in love with you too.” You smiled at him brightly.
He couldn’t believe what he heard initially, his mind moving a mile a minute. He moved his hands quickly to your face, his thumb brushing at the tail end of your scar once more. “You do? You…love me? Princess, don’t bullshit me.” As you shook your head yes, Katsuki had the biggest smile that had ever crossed his face. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was raw, passionate, and full of undying love. The way your lips moved together was like two people coming together to be one finally. It was breathless, it was sweet, and it was something you both had been missing for a long time now.
"Let's leave." Katsuki finally spoke after breaking the kiss, still holding onto you tightly. He wanted to take you away, he wanted to just have you to himself. Finally, he waited long enough and so had you. "Can we leave?" He pressed again as he pulled you into a tight embrace. "I just want you to myself right now, fuck everyone else."
You nodded your head softly, looking up into his crimson eyes. A smile was etched into your lips as you started to pull him towards the front of the agency. "Yeah, let's go. I have waited long enough to have you to myself."
The wait wasn't long to get a cab to pick you up, it was the wait for the drive home that was killing you both. Soft touches against legs, brushes of hands against hands, and let's not forget the smooth whispers coming from Katsuki that the cab driver needed to 'hurry the fuck up already.' It was actually really amusing to you, because what you didn't expect when you rolled up to the front of Katsuki's apartment building? Was him to basically throw money at the driver's face, and carry you all the way up to his home.
"Katsuki! You can put me down now!" You were laugh-yelling at him as he kicked in his door. Not caring that it was almost 1am in the morning and the door handle denting the drywall.
"No time..." He said softly against your neck, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses against your skin as he navigated through his apartment into his bedroom. Once he pressed you into those black silk sheets, everything hit you at once. Looking up at him over you, the desire and love in his eyes, you were finally going to be with someone you truly loved in this world.
The small little sigh you let slip past your lips as he nibbled on one particularly sensitive spot on your neck made him realize it too. Years and years of loving you in secret could finally come out in the open. He can finally express the way he feels about you, without even having to say anything. He just looked down at you, your hair all sprawled out in different directions, lipstick a little smeared, and the look of love in your eyes? You looked like a goddess to him.
"You're beautiful..." He said softly before moving back to kiss you again. This time it was more rushed, like he was hungry. He was hungry for you, slipping the straps of your dress down your shoulders. As your breasts finally became unclothed, Katsuki sucked in a breath. Your pretty perky nipples already standing at attention for him, causing him to lean down to blow cool air over one while he twisted the other with his fingers. It caused your back to arch into his touch, pushing a leg between his thighs as the top of your knee brushed against his already hard crotch.
He hissed a bit from the touch, having him wrap his lips around your nipple to give it a playful little suck. What piqued his interest the most was the way you reacted to his teasing. A high-pitched moan came from your throat before you slapped your palm over your lips. Your body was so sensitive, so ready for him. He moved his hands lower, bringing your dress along with him before getting rid of the offending object. Leaving you bare under him.
"No panties...fuck Princess...you'll be the death of me." He growled, something deep in his chest as he moved back. Stripping himself of his own clothing before moving back ontop of you. His hand slipped between your bodies so he could run a finger up your already moist slit. Katsuki's eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head when he felt your slick against his fingers, before slowly pushing two of them inside your sopping cunt. "Gotta prep you..."
You already felt full from just how thick his fingers were, working in and out of you at a slow pace. However, your eyes didn't leave his cock. It was so thick, and long as well. Veins in all the right places while his head was just a pretty shade of pink, dripping precum already. You didn't care about being prepped at the moment, all you wanted was to feel him deep inside you. You moved your hand to take ahold of his shaft, stroking it softly before bringing your palm up to his tip. But he quickly grabbed your hand and pinned it next to you.
"Don't...baby. I am barely keeping it together. If you touch me like that? I'll fold. Be a good girl for me, Princess." He said in such a husky voice it made you squirm under him. That granted you his smirk, all teeth. He was pleased with himself, seeing that you were so good at listening to him. So willing for him, such a perfect girl. You were so ready for him, but he wanted more. He wanted to taste you, to feel you quiver on his tongue. To see you lose your mind to the pleasure. But as he went to move towards your cunt, this time you stopped him.
"Please...I can't wait anymore. I want you inside me Katsuki...please? Can you please just make love to me already? I want you...I need you...Daddy...please." Well you didn't expect that to come out of your mouth, but you were so hazed over in pleasure and need that you didn't care. The name however made Katuski raise his eyebrows in shock. It made you close your mouth, eyes adverting his gaze now.
Katsuki felt his mind stop, felt it completely skip a beat at the sound of your voice calling him daddy. It unlocked something in his brain, it made him feral for you. His desire for you now went through the roof. Boy, were you in for it now.
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"Daddy? Oh...baby girl...you've done it now..." He smirked at you, moving his head back from between your thighs. Leaving a trail of open-mouth kisses against your torso, up your chest, and now to your neck. Literally you with every little mark he could leave on your body, claiming you as his. His tongue trailed against the shell of your ear before he whispered something lewd against it. "You want Daddy to put his fat cock inside you? I'd be you'd look so sexy with it bugling out of your stomach...hm?" He sucked on your earlobe a little before continuing. "Want Daddy to stuff you full of his hot cum...make you his?"
Your mind was running a mile a minute, it was so good, so much. As you felt his tip start to press against your slick entrance. "Please..." You moaned out almost breathless. "Please...fill me with your cum...Daddy." You begged him, while bringing your left leg over his lower back, trying to pull him into you more. "Will you fill me up?" You asked in such a sweet voice that it made Katsuki's whole body shudder a bit.
"Fuck, I'll do anything for you if you talk to me like that..." He said now somewhat out of breath. Moving his hand to take ahold of his shaft, to part your lips. The feeling of your slick already coating his head, made him see stars for a moment until he pulled himself together again. "Alright, I'm going to put it in Princess." He said under his breath as he slowly pushed his head past the first tight ring of muscle. He felt your walls making room for him, fitting the shape of him, as he slowly bottomed out inside of you. The pure sound of pain, mixed with a little bit of pleasure made his eyes roll to the back of his head. He fought with everything in his power to keep his eyes on your face, not wanting to miss a second of your expressions.
You were a vision under him, goosebumps littering your whole body. A slight arch in your back, the way your chest was raising and falling with a small pant in your breath. Your eyes screwed tight in pleasure, while your mouth hung open just slightly. You were beautiful to him. You always were, but in this moment you were ethereal.
As you felt him hit against your cervix, your legs wrapped instantly around his lower back. Keeping him tight against you while you caught your breath for a second. Your eyes opened slowly, marveling at the view you were getting. Katsuki's eyebrows pinched a little, lower lip snug between his teeth. A small bit of sweat on the side of his forehead, while his eyes looked at you with nothing but love.
Each drag of his cock within your tightened walls was like seeing the night sky lit up with stars. The feeling of him slowly thrusting himself in and out of you, so painfully slow had your eyes almost crossed. You were soaked, so much so that there was a lewd squelch every time Katsuki pulled out of you. The sound of skin hitting against skin was echoing through the room as Katsuki poured every ounce of how much he loved you, into your body.
As you felt your body coming to your climax, you accidentally set off your quirk. The scent of peaches and cream seeped into the air, almost like a thick cloud of desire and lust. You felt Katsuki shiver above you, hand gripping the sheets next to your head with such a tight grip. It made him pick his pace up, thrusting into at a back-breaking pace.
"Fuck- Princess...goddamn you smell so fucking sweet...so fucking good. Ahh, fuck!" He was losing himself above you, his face so screwed up in pleasure that it made you tighten around him suddenly. "Don't- shit! Don't do that Princess...I'll cum inside you..."
"Do it...cum inside me...please pleasee Daddy, cum for me?" You begged just as sweet as your scent. Batting your eyelashes up at him, holding him in closer as your tasty moans hit his ears like the best music he ever heard. Plus the way your cunt was clenching around him, sucking him in? Made Katsuki lose his mind.
"Ya? You want me to cum inside you? Want me to breed this tight little pussy? Yah...yeah you fucking do. Fuck ya, baby. Take it all, take it fucking all." He said while thrusting as deep as he could inside of you, holding himself there as he painted your walls a pretty white.
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As you both came down from your highs, Katsuki slipped out of you slowly. Taking a moment to watch how his cum was leaking out of you. It made his cock twitch for a moment before he let his fingers trail in the mixed liquids before pushing some of it back into you. At the way you squirmed in overstimulation, he chuckled. Moved to lay beside you, bringing your back into his chest. He was leaving soft open-mouth kisses on the back of your neck. Just enjoying how you hummed in satisfaction.
"I can't believe I finally got you..." He said in a groggy voice, the low grave in it making you shutter a little against him. That earned you a playful nip to the back of your ear. "Relax, woman. If you keep at it? We are going to go all night."
"Who says I wouldn't want that?" You playfully teased back, rolling slightly so you could face him. Your own shit-eating grin plastered on your face. You leaned forward to kiss him deep, letting the moment sink in before you were rolled onto your back once again.
"That a challenge? Oh...Princess...you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into now."
#mha fanfiction#bnha bakugou#fanfic#fanfiction#bnha#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#bakugou smut#katsuki bakugou#my hero academia#midoriya izuku#bakugou headcanons#bnha smut#female reader#katuski x reader
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The Seamstress
Contains: Logan Howlett X F!Reader
Summary: Youre a seamstress and he seems to have an endless supply of holey clothes....
Wordcount: 1.2k
Warnings: None :D
a/n: haiiiiii ive always loved this trope in fics !!! tehe!! srry for not writing much recently i got fired from my job LOL anywayssss... i was listening to the smiths writing this unrelated but related.
Most days bled together, the same mundane routine playing out in front of you each day. Wake up, go to work, go home, eat takeout, and pass out to some soap opera. Currently, the highlight of your life was finding out what was going to happen next on The Days of Our Lives. You were a seamstress in the middle of Manhattan; you owned a small shop off 64th, and although you were living out your dream, nothing excited you anymore. Every task felt exhausting; you couldn't even find passion in sewing anymore. That was until he stumbled into your shop.
“Hi, yeah, I was wondering if you'd be able to sew this up for me.” He grumbled, holding up what appeared to be some yellow and blue jumpsuit. You'd almost forgotten to respond, completely captivated by his sheer beauty. His gorgeous face, chiseled body, kitty-like hair, and you can't forget the unusual yet totally working for him mutton chops. “U-um, ahem, yeah, I totally could.” You manage to choke out, reaching for the clothing item. “How long do you reckon it'll take?” You examine the clothing carefully; it's decorated with rips and holes everywhere. He's lucky if I can get this finished by the end of the week, “Tomorrow.” Your mouth moves quicker than your brain can. “Cool, I'll come by at 10? Is that alright?” He asks, slowly backing out of the shop, his eyes never leaving you. ‘10am? I can't begin to do that either; I mean, I wouldn't get to sleep tonight’. “Yep! See you at 10!” Cure that mouth of yours; you give him a smile and an awkward wave as he makes his way out the door.
You blow your breath out as if you'd been holding it the entire time, sinking down into your chair. You silently cursed at yourself for agreeing to such a stupid timeframe, but this meant you could binge Days of Our Lives tonight, so maybe it wasn't half bad.
The rest of the day went just as you expected. A couple hems, a few cinches—nothing out of the ordinary apart from the comic book cosplay you agreed to revive back to life. It was currently 3 o’clock in the morning; you'd been sitting there sewing the garment for 7 hours. Honestly, you'd been making great time; you were so close to finishing, maybe 20 stitches left total. Somewhere between the last stitch and a doctor getting slapped, you'd passed out on your living room floor.
You'd awoken to the feeling of your feline licking your cheek, causing you to immediately shoot up off the floor. Your eyes frantically searching for a clock, the power Must’ve gone out sometime around 5 in the morning because that's all you saw flashing back at you on the stove. In a frenzy, you started throwing random clothes on, praying they'd match, shoving the costume in a garment bag, and running out the door. Thats when you finally looked down at your phone, seeing the time read 10:03, “God damnit.” You whined under your breath. Your shop was only a couple blocks away, but that was still a 15-minute walk, so you sprinted. You probably looked like a complete lunatic, but you couldn't care less right now. The incredibly hot customer probably waiting outside your doors was the utmost important thing on your mind.
Dripping in sweat and hyperventilating as you turned the corner to where your shop was, you saw him just as you thought you would. Leaning up against the door, one arm crossed over his torso as he took a drag from his cigar with his other. God, he looked heavenly, and you... Well, maybe not your best day, but definitely not your worst. “Hey, sorry I'm late.” You breathed out, hands resting on your knees as you caught your breath. “But I've got your thingy.” You hold the garment bag up; he just furrows his eyebrows at you, cocking his head to the side. His silence makes you feel more embarrassed than you already do. You get up to unlock your doors, ushering him to follow you inside.
You check him out at the register; the only words being exchanged were the cost of the repairs and where he can tap his card. He walked out with a smile and a nod, a soft ‘Thanks’ escaping his lips before the door shut. You throw your head in your hands, feeling shame wash over you. You were hoping and praying he was going to leave his number on the receipt, but obviously he did not. I mean, why would you have had him waiting and showed up looking like a complete mess? Not very good looks. You simply had to chop it up as a loss and return back to the mundaneness of your life.
The very next morning, though, he was here again, this time holding an old brown jacket. He'd said there was a small hole in the pocket he wanted fixed. This time it only took you all 20 minutes. You asked him to wait upfront as you brought the jacket to the back to repair it. When you returned, you checked him out the same as before, and he left exactly the same as before. This became an everyday routine for the two of you. Every day he'd walk in with some worn-out article of clothing asking you to stitch it up; you always obliged, even if the clothes looked and smelled like they came from 1987. You always did wonder how this guy had so many ripped-up clothes just lying around, and why wouldn't he just bring them in all at once?
This charade had been going on for 2 weeks now when you finally decided to break from your usual script of ‘thank you, come again’. “Why is everything you own torn apart? Is everything okay back home?” You asked as he slipped his card into the machine. You could see the heat rising to his cheeks as he tried to hide a smirk creeping its way on his face. “You want me to be honest with you?” He looked up at you, pursing his lips together in a thin line. You nodded your head, waiting for him to continue, “I honestly thought you were gorgeous when I first walked into your shop.” Now your cheeks started burning red as your eyes went wide. “So every day since then I head into Goodwill and find anything I can with a hole in it so I can find an excuse to come see you.” This was the first time you'd ever seen this man avoid eye contact with you. You couldn't find your words as your throat had gone dry. He was into you??? And here you were this whole time thinking you ruined your shot (and that he was homeless, but you weren't going to tell him that).
"Well, say something.” He exasperated, snapping you out of your daze. “I honestly don't know what to say; I’m shocked. I get off at 6 if y’know... You wanted to grab something to eat?” You offer awkwardly, smiling through the pain of how anxious you sounded. He looks up to you finally meeting your gaze, a soft smile painted on his lips. “Ill be here to pick you up at 6 doll.” He grabs your hand, planting a gentle kiss on your knuckle. He walked out the door, leaving you in utter shock and denial for the rest of your shift.
hi ps u can always request me shtuff to write! :3
#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman#hugh jackman imagines#logan#logan howlet smut#logan howlett#logan howlett angst#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett x mutant reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett oneshot#logan wolverine#logan x reader#james logan howlett#james howlett#wolverine origins#wolverine#wolverine fluff#fluff#angst#wolverine smut#wolverpool#hugh jackman wolverine#wade wilson x reader#writing#fanfic#fanfiction
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Written for @steddiesongfics.
Vigilante Shit
October Prompt: Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift | Word Count: 7777 | Rating: E | CW: Unsafe Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent | Tags: Modern AU, Past Break-Up, Divorced, Angst, Exes-to-Lovers, Hopeful Ending, Famous Eddie, Corroded Coffin, Platonic Stobin: Ride or Die (Eddie Might Die If Robin Has Her Way, lol), Unsafe Sex, Barebacking, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, Except It's All Love Underneath, Mr. Americana and the Heartbreak Prince
Also available right here on ao3.
they say looks can kill and I might try Taylor Swift, Vigilante Shit
Steve steps out of the taxi, and looks down, smoothing the lines of his shirt. Hoping it's not too wrinkled. He's left it unbuttoned one more button than would be considered decent, but nothing about today is going to end up decent, he's sure of it. The fabric is tight, midnight blue and clinging to his sides, his biceps, tailored to perfection. He made sure of it. When he looks good, he feels good. And today? He needs to at least feel good about how he looks.
He stands on the sidewalk, shrugging on the leather jacket that doesn't actually belong to him. The one with the chained up broken zipper on the sleeve. The one from before. A relic of years gone by, of kids that have been dead and buried by adulthood.
He doesn't actually need it, weather-wise. But if he's digging up bones, he might as well dig deep.
And he looks good in it, without fucking question.
Tonight he isn't dressing for women, or men. He's dressing for revenge.
The event space is old, he can tell. One of those remodeled places, salvaged from the hands of time. He's never been here before, and wishes he didn't have to be at today, either. He wishes he was seven hundred miles away, at home. When the plane touched down here this morning, he felt like he was being suffocated. Like the air was thicker, like he was being stifled, just because he lives here.
Steve avoids the city like the plague. Henderson moved here a few years ago, though, and Steve would be lying if he hadn't felt betrayed. He felt like a side had been chosen, and that it wasn't his.
Steve knows that's irrational. But he still feels that way, especially when he's alone with his thoughts. Robin has gotten sick of hearing about it. She's the only person on earth he feels comfortable letting see how much he still hurts.
How much he'll always be hurt, maybe.
Coming here today feels a little bit like torture, and opting out was definitely his first instinct.
But here Steve is. He couldn't do that to Henderson.
Even if he lives in town. It's not like Henderson ever mentions him anymore. Dustin quickly learned that was a bridge not to cross with Steve if he wished to continue living.
So, Steve cut off his nose to spite his own face, like a fucking idiot. Now he gets no information on Eddie, no secondhand gossip from friends, no nothing that doesn't come from the gossip rags.
Steve double-checks his reflection in the door of the brick building, fingers combing through his hair. Looks good. Like the rest of him. That much he is confident about. Everything else is the problem.
It's an old building, and when the old elevator opens, Steve looks around the big, airy ballroom. There's an open window seat, and he walks over and perches in it, waiting. The setting sun is warm on his back, and while he hasn't heard for sure, he knows in his gut that Eddie will be here. There's no way Eddie's missing Henderson's engagement party.
Even if that means seeing Steve.
Steve had checked the tour schedule, hoping, praying he'd be halfway across the world tonight. But there was a suspicious looking break in their dates. As if this had been planned around it.
It probably was.
But Steve can't worry about Eddie. He will, of fucking course, but it would be so much better for his own well-being if he didn't.
Eddie cut the first tie between them, but Steve is the one that burned the bridges behind him, making it permanent. If Eddie wanted to run from him, well, then he was gonna stay fucking gone. Steve wasn't interested in providing any sort of lifeline for Eddie to ever use to climb out of the hole he insisted on digging for himself.
Robin and Henderson have both said in soft, roundabout ways that Steve was kind of being a dick. Being petty, bitchy, mean. But Steve doesn't care. He got his heart broken. He lost his husband. He can be all of those things, and more.
Steve spins the ring on his finger, the one he hasn't worn in years. The old gold band that he dug out of the back of his closet, and spent all morning polishing into a gut punch.
His motto for tonight: Don't get sad, get even.
He wishes Robin were already here, but she's never been on time a day in her life. Every flight she's ever booked has been delayed, if not outright canceled, and today was no different. Unfortunately, that means he's sitting off to the edge of the ballroom by himself, waiting for something to happen.
Nothing does.
Friends who have become closer to strangers mingle, and laugh, leaving him on fringes, alone. And Steve knows that's his fault. He cut a large swath out of his life, isolating himself. Licking his wounds in solitary confinement. Robin is his only companion, besides his misery and grief.
He needs to suck it up, go mingle, force himself to dole out apologies and be a little more active in the festivities, certain that he's been foolish. Eddie isn't coming after all.
Steve makes his way over to Dustin.
"Congrats, kiddo," Steve says, wrapping his arm around Dustin's shoulders, squeezing.
"About damn time, I thought you were gonna sulk in the corner all night," Dustin snaps, and Steve laughs. No, he's not gonna do that. He just needed a minute. And he gets that Henderson understood that. He's a good kid, a good man, now.
He keeps talking, "I thought you were gonna go on some sort of anti-marriage tirade."
No, no, Steve was wrong. He is still a little shit.
"I'm not anti-marriage," Steve says, and he isn't. Sure, his didn't work out, but he's not going around assuming that everybody else's will end up the same way.
Unless they plan on marrying Eddie. Then, that's on them. Play dumb games, win stupid prizes.
"He was supposed to come tonight," Dustin admits.
Yeah, Steve figured as much, "Sorry he let you down, kid."
Dustin looks up at him, "Sorry he let you down, too."
Yeah, well. Shit happens.
The room is sparkling with twinkling lights that look even better as the sun melts into the horizon. Tray after tray of drinks and passed hors d'oeuvres make the rounds, and everyone seems happy to see him, maybe forgiving him a little too easily for his disappearing act.
They come see him in his window, like it's his new office. Handing him drinks, food. Doling out hugs and kisses. Stories. Sharing their lives with him.
Robin comes in earlier than he expected her, and she throws her hands in the air, announcing her arrival.
Dustin hugs her, and then she marches over to the window seat he's been holding court from.
He stands, and she steps into his arms, squeezing him tight, "Hi, dingus. Sorry I'm late."
"You're early," he says, and she's not. She's nearly an hour late. But for him, she's right on time.
Eddie didn't come. He doesn't have to say it, she knows. He feels foolish. He's wearing Eddie's leather jacket and his old wedding band, and dwelling on a past Eddie clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about.
Steve squeezes Robin back. It's been too long. Living in separate cities is for the goddamn birds. Maybe he should move closer to her. Pack up his life and just hit the road and be wherever she wants to be, always.
That sounds like the best plan for a lifetime of happiness that he's had in a goddamn long time.
"We could call the FBI. Tell them he's a drug mule. Tell them he's evading taxes."
Steve doesn't think either of those things are true.
He's about to say so when he feels the air in the room change.
Fuck.
He drops back to the bricks, not really able to stand under these conditions.
Eddie's here, Steve can't see him yet, refuses to scour the room, looking, searching, but he knows. He always knew when Eddie manifested himself into Steve's presence. Like a magic trick Steve doesn't know the secret behind, and probably never will.
Steve leans back, and sprawls out on the brick window sill he's been sitting in, and Robin is looking down at him wide-eyed. Because she's well aware of the only thing here that could knock his feet out from him.
She steps to the side and turns to look.
And he's determined to keep his head up. He's gonna meet this head-on, no-holds-barred. If Eddie wants to look away, wants to run like he always does, then he can be the one to do that. Again. Because Steve's got nothing to be ashamed about.
He didn't fuck up their lives. Eddie did.
Two black suits, his private security Steve's sure, flank Eddie. Like there's a threat at his friend's engagement party. Fucking ridiculous.
Well.
Maybe there is a threat: Steve.
At least a threat to his peace, and as if on cue Eddie stops in the middle of the room and stares. Steve stares back. Wrist resting over his own bent knee. They say looks can kill, and tonight Steve damn well might try.
Steve won't blink first, won't back down.
And eventually Eddie gives, loses, and looks away.
Steve smiles to himself, taking a sip of his drink, swirling the ice in the lowball glass, as Robin's eyebrows have permanently lodged themselves into her hairline. He makes small talk with her, when he knows she wants to say so fucking much about what just happened. There will be time for that later, time to dissect and replay, but only then does he unfold himself from the window seat, sauntering across the room, stopping to talk to his friends. His.
Steve doesn't look his way again, but he can definitely feel the eyes boring into him as he moves around the room. Good. Let him stare.
On the way back from the bathroom, Steve passes a little too close to the sun.
And Eddie reaches out, snagging Steve's hand in his, squeezing it hard enough that it pinches his skin between the ring he has no business wearing, but Steve doesn't react. Doesn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he can get to him in any way.
Not anymore.
He just looks at Eddie, and Eddie stares back.
Eddie doesn't let go. Instead he shifts his hand, sliding it upwards, until he's hooked his finger through the chain on the jacket sleeve, and starts to pull Steve by it, like he's on a lead. His feet betray him, and he follows.
So do the bodyguards.
"No, stay," Eddie says, like they're guard dogs. Maybe they are. They definitely heel to his command.
And he leads Steve out of the ballroom, down a long hallway, trying to push open door after locked door, until he finds one that gives, swinging open. It's empty, and probably used for staging or a dressing room during other events. There's a fancy couch, and the whole place is lit by the moonlight coming through the deep-set windows.
Only then does he let go. Steve feels burned.
But he doesn't react to that, instead Steve stands there, hands on his hips as Eddie lingers, several paces away, staring back.
He didn't ask for this, for any of this.
"What the fuck do you want?" Steve snaps, and Eddie's teeth are showing as he stalks forward. Steve refuses to take a step back, refuses to flinch or lose an inch of ground to him. Eddie's not gonna steamroll him, not ever again.
"What the fuck is this?" Eddie asks, reaching out and squeezing Steve's wrist. The jacket. Then flicking Steve's finger, the ring, as it rests on his hip.
"It's a wedding ring. I know that's probably confusing for you, since you never wore one of them. It ruined your aesthetic, or whatever this is," Steve mocks, waving his hand around Eddie's whole being. All the black leather and silver jewelry that doesn't mean shit.
Eddie ignores all that, and his eyes narrow down on Steve's hand, demanding, "You marry somebody else wearing my ring?"
"Maybe I did," Steve snaps. "What's it to you?"
And Eddie loses the standoff. His hands find his hair as he roughly pulls at it, spinning in a circle.
Steve smirks.
"You want it back? Here. Take it," Steve spits out, angry, so fucking pissed off for the past decade or more, pulling the ring off his finger and throwing it. Listening as it hits the wall across the room, and then clatters across the hardwood flooring.
He shrugs out of the jacket and throws it next. Hitting Eddie square in the chest.
The sound Eddie makes is distraught, feral, and if Steve didn't know he's only bullshit and bluster, he'd probably be scared.
But he's not scared of Eddie Munson. At least not in the way the rest of the world is, hoodwinked by the reputation he built with his carefully cultured public image that is just lie after lie.
Steve wasn't sure what would happen next, but Eddie on his hands and knees, patting around in the dark, his phone flashlight darting around trying to catch the glimmer of metal, wasn't what Steve expected.
"Why fucking bother?" Steve asks as he crosses his arms over his chest. Because honestly? He doesn't need it. He made his point. He cut him. He won this round. He needs to leave before he gets left. Again.
And Eddie didn't want him to have it back then, so why waste time digging up old bones? Let sleeping dogs lie.
"Because," Eddie grits out.
"Just let it go, Eddie. Just like you let me go," Steve snaps, and Eddie's head whips up, the flashlight suddenly blinding Steve.
Steve shields his eyes, "Put that down, asshole."
"Then don't fucking say that," Eddie snaps.
"Like it's not true?"
It is true, and Eddie can't even begin to deny it. He fucking ran, two years into their marriage. Two years that they spent more nights apart than they did together. Two years where they were too young. Too different. At least that's what everyone else said when the dust settled. Like, it was just a mistake anyone could have seen coming.
Like, two years had been a good run, but that this had always been the expected end result.
Steve hadn't expected it.
That didn't matter, though. They divorced, long-distance, papers delivered and signed through lawyers. All contact completely severed. And then they both spent more than a decade being extra careful to not wind up in the same region, let alone the same building, or room.
Now, here they are. Eddie on his hands and knees rooting around for ancient history, and Steve wishing he could be swallowed up by the floor under his feet just to be out of here. Away. Anywhere else.
It's bullshit. All of it.
Eddie finds it with a huffed laugh, and Steve isn't sure what happens next. Does Eddie pocket it? Keep it?
No, he stands, and stalks over to Steve, "You wanna wear it? You're gonna wear it."
And he forces it back onto Steve's hand, a perversion of the first time he did it. It catches on his knuckle, and hurts as Eddie forces it on, but Steve watches it happen, can't look away.
Then, Eddie's even further in his personal space, mouth closing over Steve's, hand sliding into Steve's hair, pulling. Steve kisses him back, hands digging into his back, holding on tight to everything he's already lost.
Steve's whole fucking body betrays him. He moans in Eddie's mouth, dick rushing towards hard, as Eddie leans further into him.
Learning all Steve's secrets from his time away.
Steve doesn't want Eddie to know anything about him.
He also wants him to know everything.
It's infuriating.
Even more so when Eddie spins him around, shoving him forwards, making Steve catch himself on the back of the couch.
Eddie puts his hand in the middle of Steve's back, and presses downwards, hard. Bending him over the back side of the vintage couch. Steve goes, willingly. The ornate wood trim digging into his belly. Eddie's hand rubs up and down his sides, hands feeling how his shirt is hugging his skin, and Steve knew it was a good choice. But he doesn't have time to gloat before Eddie's fingers slide around, brushing Steve's stomach, slowly unbuttoning every button of his shirt. Roughly pulling it from his arms, catching on his wrists before being tugged loose, then moving on to unhooking his belt, unbuttoning his jeans, before yanking them down his thighs.
Steve digs the toe of his boot into the hardwood floor, trying to get some leverage that he knows he'll need. It's gonna be rough, and fast, and hard. Desperate.
Overdue.
Maybe a little bit mean. Steve's not sure what kind of headspace Eddie's in. Hadn't had the chance to really gauge him, before he was drug away into the darkness to fight and fuck about unfinished business.
All their business is unfinished.
Eddie's pressed flush to his back, his palm pressing into the center of Steve's chest, his fingers moving through his chest hair. His cock, hard through his jeans, pressing into Steve's ass. A promise, or a threat.
Either, both, maybe. And then Eddie makes good on it. Steve hears him tearing open foil. Then he feels the cool liquid running down his crack. He tries not to jump, startle. Of course Eddie's carrying travel packets of lube. He shouldn't have assumed anything else.
Then there are slick fingers, one, then two, pressing at him, in him. Sliding deep, working to push all his buttons, proving Eddie hasn't forgotten a goddamn thing. One hand working fingers inside him, the other palming his balls before reaching down to tug on his cock. Just like Steve always liked. But Steve won't make any noise. Won't give Eddie the satisfaction. But Steve's breathing deep and hard, panting as he pushes back against Eddie's hand. Demanding more.
Eddie listens for once, too fast, too soon, and Eddie's breaching him. Steve wanted to draw this out. But that cock that Steve has loved, missed, needed is working him open, fast and rough. It's not enough, it's too much. All at once.
Steve loses, can't bite it back any longer, and Steve huffs out a whine of a breath as Eddie slams into him. He hasn't felt this in years. It's exactly the same, but totally different, too. It's like being fucked by a complete stranger.
It's also like coming home.
He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to keep quiet. The last thing he wants is any of their friends to see him like this. To know that he allowed himself to be bent over this easily. That all he had to do was spend fifteen minutes alone with Eddie before he allowed his resolve to crumble to dust, desperate for it, the second Eddie laid hands on him.
Eddie's not wearing a condom, Steve can feel the difference, can feel the ease of the slide in a way that he hasn't since Eddie cut and ran. Steve knows he should be mad, furious that Eddie thinks he still has that right. That he thinks his blanket permission from a decade ago overrides a goddamn divorce. But Steve's not mad. And he hates that he's not mad. Resents that he gets off on the fact that it's still only Eddie that has been invited inside him, and has been allowed to leave his mark deep, in more ways than one.
"Fuck you, Harrington," Eddie says, and Steve claws at the fabric of the couch, blunt fingernails scraping against the rough texture of it.
"You already are, asshole," Steve says back.
Eddie laughs. It sounds more delighted than deranged, and if Steve keeps his eyes shut, he can pretend this was another lifetime ago.
It's easy to go along for the ride, just allowing himself to feel what he hasn't in so many years. It's not like he's been celibate, or alone, but he has been without this. Without Eddie, and having a taste of it again might just wreck him.
There are lips against his back, and a cock splitting him wide. In his mind he's twenty-two and in love. Really in love.
When he opens them again, he's thirty-four, and bitter. Broken.
Angry.
So goddamn angry that his life, their life, turned out to be bullshit.
And suddenly the tears burn his eyes. Fuck. He's gonna cry. He reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose, as if he can stave it off with that alone. As if he can just will it away, by wanting it bad enough. But it's not working. He's gonna do the very last thing he ever wanted to have happen in Eddie's presence ever again. When he can't hold it back a second longer, he hitches in a ragged breath, and Eddie stutters, stilling all momentum, immediately.
It nearly gives Steve whiplash, going from a hundred to zero, just like that.
Which is fitting. That's how their whole relationship turned out. From hot and heavy, to distant strangers. Why would this be any goddamn different?
"Steve?" Eddie asks, a warm palm against his back. Rubbing soft, soothing circles, his guitar calluses scratching gently. "Sweetheart?"
That's the last straw, it's too familiar, too much, and he curls over the back of the couch as far as he can as Eddie pulls out, leaving him empty and more bereft than he already was. Steve tries to reach backwards, tries to lure him back. Back inside, back to Steve. Just back, in any way he can get him.
It doesn't happen, of course, and Eddie tries to manhandle Steve into turning around to face him. Steve would rather do anything else, so he won't allow himself to be turned because Steve's still bigger, always has been bigger and stronger, and Eddie's hands disappear before reappearing as he moves around the couch to kneel on the cushion next to where Steve is actively wishing to be swallowed whole.
"Steve," Eddie says, the voice reedy and scared, hands brushing down Steve's back, then moving through Steve's hanging hair, trying to find his face. "Did I hurt you? Did you…" Eddie trails off, thumb on Steve's cheek, "Did you not want that? Did I - did I read you wrong?"
Steve shakes his head. He's hurt, of course he is, just not in the way Eddie means. Of course he wanted this. He just can't. Not with Eddie. It's too hard.
Even if that's all he wants.
He looks down at the cushions below, he sees Eddie's bare thigh, tattoos unfamiliar, and his cock, very familiar, scared into softness. Nestled there in his open fly. Steve wonders if he smells the same. Wants to bury his face in Eddie's crotch and breathe deep.
What an unhinged thing to want, he thinks. But Steve just wants to go home, go back in time.
Eddie's still gorgeous. Always has been, though, and Steve snakes out a hand, curling it around Eddie's forearm.
Asking him not to go.
Asking him to stay this time.
"Sweetheart. Look at me, or I'm getting Robin," Eddie says, and Steve hiccups a laugh as Eddie plays with the hairs at the nape of his neck.
He's not his sweetheart, not any longer, he knows that all too well, but hearing that come out of his lips makes something bloom in his chest. An unfurling longing. Nostalgia for a time he'll never be able to return to, as long as he lives.
It's already gone. They've already grown up, distant from each other.
And Steve raises his head enough to meet Eddie's eyes.
"She'd kill you," Steve says, trying to blink the wetness from his lashes.
"I'd let her," Eddie answers.
Steve misses him. He's right here, looking right at him, but Steve misses him something fierce.
"Are you okay? What's going on?" Eddie asks, scooting closer, his hand never leaving Steve's neck. Fingers brushing against his skin, keeping contact, soothing him in a way only he ever could.
Steve laughs, bordering on unhinged.
"Vigilante shit," Steve breathes out, and it's like he's ran a marathon, maybe an ultra.
And Eddie laughs, leaning forward and pressing his mouth to Steve's temple.
Steve leans into him.
"Well, that's fair, sweetheart," Eddie says, "I'll give you that. I deserve it. But are you okay?"
"I'm okay," Steve reassures. As okay as he'll ever be, anyway, here surrounded by the smoldering embers of the life he watched burn to the ground.
Eddie rotates until he's laying down on the couch, and opens his arms for Steve. Steve takes the offer, sliding over the back of the couch, crawling on top of Eddie. Not very gracefully since his pants are still trapped around his thighs, boots on his feet.
"Here, let me help," Eddie says, trying to maneuver him to sitting. Steve allows it.
And Eddie slides off the couch, kneeling at Steve's feet. Eddie looks at how Steve has them laced so they just slip on and off, and it's an old Eddie trick. Steve knows it, Eddie knows it.
"Well, this is sexy," Eddie says as he gently pulls the first one off his foot, then the second. And Steve laughs. Eddie then pulls his jeans down, tossing them aside, "Can you breathe now?"
Steve nods.
Undressed, and a little more unburdened, Steve watches as Eddie sheds his own pants, and then gets back on the couch, laying back against the cushions, an invitation.
Steve takes it.
He's pretty sure their naked asses aren't supposed to be on this antique piece of furniture, but he'd like to see anyone tell Eddie Munson no. It's impossible, and a waste of breath. Always has been.
So, they lay together, Eddie's hand stroking up and down his back, fingers against his spine. Whispering words that Steve's waited a decade to hear. And Steve listens, feeling the rumble of Eddie's chest, the timbre of his voice that is somehow even deeper than it was at twenty-three. They kiss and grind soft cocks together until they aren't soft anymore. They roll together until Steve slides back down on Eddie's cock, ready to finish what they started.
It's gentler now, and Steve's pretty sure that might make this worse, after. Hate sex, angry fucking to get each other out of their systems, he thinks he could get over. That he could take at face value.
But this?
This is too soft. Too loving.
And that's gonna destroy him when it's over.
Eddie was, is, will always be, the greatest thing he's ever lost. Steve swears he only blinked, but in between that breath and the next, Eddie had slipped through his fingers.
But he wouldn't give this up. He never wanted to give Eddie up. Not then, not now, and that's really fucking hard to wrap his head around. That it ended against his will. That the thing he was sure was forever, crashed and burned so fucking quickly, completely out of his control.
He couldn't save them from themselves. He couldn't save them from the self-destructive streak Eddie just couldn't shake.
He couldn't stop Eddie from running.
Distance, blossoming fame, and the road just being more of an obstacle than they would have ever imagined when they stood up and said I do, promising forever.
Well, forever was pretty fucking short, Steve guesses.
He rocks on Eddie's cock, fucking himself as Eddie holds his hips in his hands.
"That's it, sweetheart," Eddie encourages, and Steve's setting the rhythm now. The pace, the intensity, so he can't even blame Eddie for this slow down. For this softness.
This is all on him.
But Eddie still fits in him like he was made to be there. Of course, Steve assumes Eddie's cock has been in lots of places since they buckled and folded. So, yeah, that probably means a doctor's visit, and a nerve wracking wait for test results will be in his future for being impulsive and foolish.
At the same time, he still trusts Eddie. Maybe he shouldn't. It makes no sense to, for fuck's sake. Eddie broke his heart, abandoned him like he meant nothing. But for some reason he trusts that Eddie would have never slid into him, warm and bare and familiar, if there was a cause for concern.
He's always lost his fucking mind when he came to Eddie. That not changing today is no fucking surprise, not really.
Steve angles himself so Eddie's bumping his prostate, over and over, and it's just too much, too good, and Steve tenses, coming all over Eddie's belly. But he keeps grinding down on Eddie's cock, determined to get him over the edge, too.
Eddie groans, hand squeezing Steve's hip, "I'm gonna come."
"Do it," Steve breathes out, and Eddie does. Shoving up into him as far, and as hard as he can, and Steve tilts his head back, enjoying that this moment has happened for them, one more time.
He collapses onto Eddie's chest, laughing the way he always has after good sex, Eddie's softening cock still inside him, and Steve's not about to pull away yet.
The door opens, and Steve pops up to look to see who has found them.
Robin.
"Goddamnit, dingus," she says from the doorway. He's aware from her angle she can see he's shirtless and debauched. She can't know that Eddie's still in him, soft, but unwilling to extract himself.
"I take it that asshole ex of yours is under you?"
"Hi, Robbie," Eddie says, still unseen by her, from his place on the couch under Steve.
She doesn't respond, ignoring Eddie. Which is to be expected, Steve supposes.
"Get cleaned up. Dustin's realized you're both missing."
Steve watches as Eddie stretches his arm backwards into her view, making the okay sign and she slams the door in response.
They both laugh, and Steve lays back down on Eddie's bare chest, kissing him again. And again.
"She hates me now," Eddie says, when they break apart.
"With the fire of a thousand suns, yes," Steve answers, tucking his face into Eddie's neck. Robin and Eddie used to be friends, best friends, but when Eddie cut and ran, Robin wrote him off swiftly, with finality, and without remorse. Steve appreciated the loyalty. And he's gonna need it, tomorrow. Because he knows this was just one night, one mistake, but he's gonna milk it for all that it's worth since he's already in for a penny.
"We really have to make an appearance," Eddie says, and Steve whines at the idea. But he lifts up, Eddie's cock sliding out of him for the last time. At least he knows this time. At least he can brace for the impact.
But Eddie has other ideas.
"We'll be seen, we'll congratulate the kid, and then I'll take you back to bed, and show you how much I've missed you."
Steve nods. Yes. That. All of that, please.
If he only gets one more night, he wants to draw out this long overdue goodbye as much as possible.
"We hadn't even had dinner," Dustin admonishes, shoving Steve's shoulder. Eddie puts a hand between them, like this might escalate.
"That's my bad, kid," Eddie says, shit-eating grin on his face.
Henderson is more forgiving. He loves them both. But Robin's glaring daggers through Eddie's back. There's no way he doesn't feel it. Steve can feel it, and it isn't even directed at him.
The party is winding down, and at the first opportunity, Eddie holds out the old leather jacket, helping it up and over Steve's shoulders.
"Steve," Robin says, a warning, and he steps away from Eddie, leaning down, hugging her.
"Let me say goodbye right this time," he pleads and she nods against his cheek.
She hates this, Steve knows she does, but she lets him go. She'll let him make this mistake. Will let him poke at this old, never-healed, wound.
Eddie leads him out the front of the venue. A crowd has gathered. Word must have spread that Eddie Munson was in the building, and now flashbulbs are blinding Steve, and Steve's instinct is to let go. Drop Eddie's hand and run. Hide, get out of sight. But Eddie doesn't let go of his hand. Even as he's guiding them towards the waiting black SUV.
One of the security guys reaches for the door handle, and Steve sees Eddie rest his hand on his shoulder. The guy immediately backs off, and Eddie opens it for Steve himself. Standing there, looking grown up, and then suddenly his arm pops out, and he dips into a half-bow.
Steve laughs, loud and happy. He's still Eddie.
He wishes he had a picture. Wants to replay that memory in his mind forever, and he realizes suddenly that he probably can. That in the next ten minutes the entire walk from the building to the car will be uploaded from at least a dozen angles.
There's gonna be story after story of Eddie Munson entering the building alone and re-emerging four hours later with his ex-husband on his arm.
The divider in the car goes up, and they can't keep their hands off of each other.
Steve shifts on the leather.
"What's wrong?" Eddie asks, pulling back to look in his eyes.
It's only Eddie, so he tells the truth, "I'm leaking."
And Eddie grins, wolfish and wild, "Well. I could take care of that."
The pulse of want goes through Steve. It's filthy and is he really gonna let Eddie eat his ass in a moving car, a driver just on the other side of the barrier?
Yeah, yeah he is.
He moves to his belt, but Eddie's fingers replace his own, "Let me, sweetheart."
And at this point, Steve thinks he'll let Eddie do anything he wants.
The pictures from outside Eddie's building are sure to be obscene. Eddie, mouth red and lips shiny, Steve's hair in utter disarray. The crowd is rowdy, extra loud and demanding, and Eddie seems to be in no hurry. He's smiling, and looking around, as if this is completely normal.
As if he always hooks up with his ex-husband, rims him in the car, and the waves to the fans, after. He looks happy, thrilled even, instead of annoyed to be caught in the public eye.
Maybe it is normal for him, but it's definitely not for Steve. This was never his life, not even when they were married and Eddie's star continued to rise. Maybe, especially not then. Eddie wanted his private life to be private and that meant Steve was left at home, out of sight.
Not tonight.
Tonight it's obvious what they've been doing during the car ride. The press will have a field day building a timeline with the pictures and videos.
Eddie holds Steve's hand, tight and protective, leading the charge, but he uses the other to wave. To stop and sign an album. A poster. All while his security tries to wrangle him inside.
"This is Steve," he tells a fan, a camera shoved in his face.
Steve tries to put on a pageant smile, and is certain he's failed. This is fucking bizarre. Has Eddie really changed this much? Then they're moving again, finally making their way towards the door.
"Thank you," Eddie says, looking right at the man holding open the door.
"Mr. Munson," the doorman says, and Eddie shakes his hand, and Steve really thinks the guy wouldn't have if he knew where Eddie's hands have been recently.
They're taken to a private elevator, and when it opens, it's in the middle of a huge penthouse apartment.
Which is pretty amazing. The only thing fucking up the view is Gareth on the couch, in his underwear. He's holding a bowl of cereal under his chin, and he accidentally tips it on himself.
"Sorry," Eddie says, "I wasn't expecting to bring home company."
"Oh, that's okay," Gareth answers with a smirk.
"I wasn't talking to you," Eddie laughs, and Gareth grins. "If you got cereal on that couch, clean it up. I'm not smelling sour milk for the next decade every time I sit down."
"Yeah, yeah," Gareth says.
Then he looks right at Steve.
"Steven," Gareth greets, and Steve gives him a little wave. He's really grown up since Steve saw him last.
Eddie puts his hand on the small of Steve's back, "My bedroom is back here."
It looks like his closet exploded, a familiar mess. Eddie starts picking up clothes off the bed.
"Sorry, I had trouble deciding what to wear tonight," Eddie says, several pairs of black jeans that look identical to Steve slung over his arm.
His room has a hell of a view. There are floor to ceiling windows, and Steve stands there and looks over the city. Eddie's done well for himself. But Steve knew that, never doubted that he would, but it's just something else to see the reality of that with his own eyes.
Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's middle, hugging him from behind, his chin hooked over Steve's shoulder.
Steve closes his eyes and just leans into his touch.
Eddie's hands are all over him. Rough calluses touching, stroking, remapping his skin. Seemingly marking the changes. Steve's face down on the softest, worn-in sheets he's ever felt. They smell like Eddie. They feel like home.
They aren't fancy, no satin or showy black here, just comfortable gray cotton. The real Eddie, not the persona.
The lights of the city are casting the room in shadow, but Steve doesn't need to see Eddie. He can feel him.
Eddie is rocking into him, slow and steady. There's no hurry, no racing towards the finish line.
Because this is goodbye, and neither of them are quite ready to let go. Not yet.
When Steve wakes up, it's dark in the room, and Eddie is dead to the world, his hair is fanned out across the pillow. As much as Steve wants to roll over, curl into Eddie's body and go back to sleep, he's aware it's time to go. He doesn't want to do it in the morning when it's awkward and sad. The harsh light of day ruining this. Eddie had shown him how much he'd missed him, as promised, and Steve's gonna carry that with him, feel it for days.
This is a better ending than they got last time.
He dresses quietly, and Steve's carrying his boots out of Eddie's bedroom, when another door in the hallway cracks open.
"Oh, hell no," is the pronouncement, and Steve turns and looks. Gareth.
"Yeah, well, I love you, too, Gareth," Steve says, as he keeps walking. He doesn't need any lip from this kid. Never has, never will.
But then he's jostled as Gareth forces his way in front of Steve, blocking his path out of the hallway. Standing in front of him, not allowing him to just sneak away in peace. Does there really need to be salt rubbed into the gaping wound? He's going. Maybe he fucked up. Maybe they both did. But it was one night. Closure. Ripping open old wounds. Whatever you want to call it.
"Just where do you think you're going?" Gareth hisses, and Steve just glares at him.
"Back to my own hotel, back to my own life. What the fuck is it to you?"
And Gareth grabs Steve's boots, yanking them from his hand, one landing with a thunk against the plush carpet. Then he kicks his foot out, banging it against the door they're stopped in front of, like a crazy person.
"What the fuck is your problem, dude?" Steve snaps, and the second door opens. Goodie, then Jeff, standing in the doorway. Why are they all fucking here? Don't they see enough of each other on the goddamn road? Steve tilts his head back, annoyed, "Great. Just great."
"Steve?" Jeff asks. Like he might be someone else.
"Don't you run away from him again!" Gareth hisses, and Steve feels insane. In what universe did Steve ever run from Eddie?
"What the fuck? Run? Me? I'm the one that ran? I think you've rewritten history there, kid," Steve says, squatting down to pick up his fallen boot.
And Gareth shoves his shoulders, knocking him off-balance and onto his ass.
Oh, Steve's gonna kill him.
But Eddie gets there first.
"What in the actual fuck?!" Eddie screams, getting in between Gareth and Steve as Steve puts on the one boot he has control over.
Eddie attempts to wrestle the other away from Gareth, bullying him around the hall.
"I was helping you!" Gareth yells, ducking under Eddie's arm, darting to the side, but that allows Goodie to easily snag the boot being held hostage during the evasive maneuver. He turns it over to Jeff, who hands it down to Steve, waiting for him to get it pulled on, and then helps him to his feet.
Ushering him past Eddie roughhousing Gareth against the wall, making him squawk and squall. Not a thing has changed. It'd be funny if it wasn't so ridiculous.
Jeff holds his arm out behind Steve, a protective gesture, and presses the down button for him.
Steve steps in when the door opens, sees Jeff pressing the intercom on the wall, and then the doors close. The last thing he hears before he descends is a hand slapping against the doors, and Eddie's muffled, "No!"
When Steve steps out of the private elevator, the same doorman from earlier is waiting and steps forward.
"Mr. Harrington, this way," he states, and hovers a hand behind his back, just like Jeff had, like Jeff must be so used to this, that now he was doing it himself. He hears the doorman radio for a car to be sent to the escape hatch and Steve thinks that sounds a bit dramatic, but smiles to himself.
So, there's a back entrance they use, but Eddie decided to have them dropped off out front. He wanted them to be seen, and Steve doesn't try to read into that. Tries not to interpret it as a hard launch, as he's led down a long hallway, far away from the front of the building.
The doorman holds open a door that leads to a flight of stairs that go down, down, down. Steve smiles at him, even if he's a little embarrassed to be slinking off underground in the middle of the night. Maybe the doorman is used to it. Maybe this is part of his regular job, ushering out Eddie's conquests.
"Steve, wait!" he hears, as Eddie is rushing down the hallway toward them.
"Mr. Harrington," the doorman says, giving him a choice. He surely works for Eddie, especially if he knows who Steve is without having ever met him before, but he's clearly giving Steve an out.
"It's okay," Steve says, and the doorman takes a step back, as they both watch Eddie run down towards them only in his jeans, barefoot.
The doorman lets Eddie and Steve step into the stairwell, and then closes the door to the hallway, giving them some privacy. Eddie nods towards another door, and then taps his watch against the plate on the wall, lighting it up green, unlocking it. Once he opens it, it's a small balcony. With some sort of dark screen that Steve assumes only works one way. They can see out, but the world can't see in. Eddie's sure living a fancy life.
The fresh, fall air feels nice against his face, and Steve closes his eyes. Eddie pats his pockets, finds what he's looking for, and then lights a cigarette. When it's offered up, Steve takes it. At least on this side of the building, the street is blissfully empty. The crowd from earlier, totally gone.
It feels normal, and the sounds of the city hum with life down below.
"Don't go, or at least let me walk you out," Eddie says, hand on Steve's forearm, and he keeps talking, "Are you okay?"
Steve laughs, "Just plotting Gareth's demise."
"I'll help," Eddie says, a small grin on his face. Then he looks serious, "He shouldn't have shoved you."
"I just didn't have my center of balance, and he took advantage like a little shithead."
"Still," Eddie says.
Steve's not mad. Trying to be forced to stay is way better than being encouraged to leave.
"It's fine. He just didn't want me to run again," Steve says, raising an eyebrow, and he smiles when Eddie cackles. "You been telling stories?"
"No. Well, of course, but not about that. He knows what really happened. He's just-"
"Your Robin," Steve fills in.
"Yeah. How is Robbie? We didn't really get a chance to catch up."
Steve laughs, Robin would have eviscerated him had he tried.
"Good, great. Happy. Well, probably not tonight. She doesn't want to clean up any more messes you and I make with each other. But good, otherwise."
Eddie just stares at Steve, eyes unwavering.
"What?" Steve finally asks.
"What if we don't make any more messes?" Eddie asks, big, brown eyes looking into Steve as if he can see his soul if he stares hard enough.
"Eddie," Steve says.
"Seriously. What if we do it right this time?"
"Are you not still on the road?" Steve asks, because he knows the answer to that, and Eddie's a lot more famous than he was the last time he thought he needed to leave Steve in the dust.
"Yeah, but not in the same way. I'm older. Wiser."
"You sure about that?" Steve teases.
"Let a guy dream," Eddie banters back, then adds, "Let a guy make up for his sins."
"Well, you do have plenty of those," Steve teases.
"I do," Eddie admits, then reaches out to squeeze Steve's arms, "But I'm ready. For you. For this," he says, hand sliding down to brush against Steve's wedding band. "How 'bout it?"
Like it's that easy. Like there won't be conversations to have, and the same old problems to tackle. Like there isn't deep-seated hurt to smooth over, overcome.
But none of that matters. Not really.
Because, yeah. Steve's ready for it, too.
If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiesongfics and follow along with the fun! 🎶
Notes: If you're familiar with the song by Taylor Swift, you'll have recognized where several of the lyrics popped in. (And other songs from Taylor's discography as well.) I love these song challenges, since music inspires me to write things SO often.
This got way longer than I intended. I was gonna write it jointly for this and "wrath" over at @corrodedcoffinfest, but 1313 words went by way too fast, haha. 🤣
#steddiesongfics#song prompt#stranger things#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#steddie#exes to lovers#thisapplepielife: short fic#thisapplepielife: steddiesongfics
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Sanguinius X Spider-Person!Reader
AN: What's up what's up it's me again with more of my brainrot this isn't a proper part two to the first one (which I am trying to write I'm just kinda struggling with it) rather it's more just a silly goofy little drabble in the same setting, definitely ooc but fuck it we bhaal
Reader is non-binary and really not that active a participant in this in particular lol
Word Count: 1257
divider from @/enchanthings
“What do you think you are doing?” Azkaellon hissed.
“Writing a report,” Raldoron replied, his face perfectly neutral as he spared Azkaellon little more than a sideways glance.
Azkaellon's face turned sour. That wasn't what he had been referring to and he knew that Raldoron knew that.
The First Captain sat in one of The Red Tear's many council chambers, awaiting the imminent meeting to be held there. He was indeed typing away on a data slab, however, that was the least of Azkaellon's concerns.
No, what Azkaellon was concerned about was the small, curled figure of their Primarch’s newest addition to his inner circle sitting in his brother's lap, their body resting against his chest, like some kind of spoiled pet.
Azkaellon had long since been won over by his Primarch’s insistence on keeping the little bug around, but surely he was not expected to put up with this!? For the spider to presume they might reduce an Astartes warrior to nothing more than a living mattress was a slight in and of itself, but for Raldoron to allow it? Did he have no respect for his own position? Azkaellon had to put an end to this flagrant display of disregard before their gene-Father could enter the chamber to witness it.
“Get them out of your lap right this instant,” Azkaellon demanded. “Act with some decorum, why don't you. What would even possess you to debase yourself so?”
“Hush, you'll wake them if you keep this up,” Raldoron scolded him, an undercurrent of mischievous glee just barely seeping into his voice.
Azkaellon was seething now. “What do I care if they wake up? Why are they even asleep in the first place? We have a meeting in just a few moments.”
“Amit had them running drills all morning without any breaks, I think they can be allowed a little nap, Azkaellon.”
“And why, pray tell, must said ‘little nap' take place in your lap of all places?”
“Come now, brother, their genetic augmentation distorted their body's ability to regulate its own temperature, everybody knows that,” Astian's voice rings out from behind Azkaellon, as though pointing out the obvious.
The Fleet Master steps past Azkaellon into the room a moment later, nodding in greeting to Raldoron before turning to address the head Ikisat once more. “Surely, the little one was simply cold and this was a convenient solution.”
Raldodon nodded mutely in confirmation of Astian’s words.
Had all of his brother's gone mad? Why were they both being so casual about this? Of course, both Raldoron and Astian were far more personable than himself, Azkaellon had no problem admitting that. But even still, never in all of their time serving together had he seen either of them act so blatantly familiar with someone.
It dawned on him then, that this was the exact kind of open affection that the currently snoozing Huntsman had quickly become infamous for… and Azkaellon didn't know what to do with the idea that the spider's affectionate nature might be rubbing off on his brothers.
“Besides, I thought you didn't care for the little spider's input, Azkaellon? Are you really so loath to miss out on their counsel? How unusually sweet of you, brother,” Astian drawled teasingly, slinking into the seat across from the First Captain.
Azkaellon scowled, rounding the table to face the Fleet Master head on. “Lord Sanguinius values their input. Whether I understand why he does or not, the fact remains. And for them to sleep through a meeting he specifically invited them too is a display of impertinence of the highest degree.”
Astian opens his mouth as though to retort, but before he can he is cut off by an unmistakable voice at the chamber’s entrance.
“The meeting has yet to begin, my dear Commander,” Sanguinius calls out to his head guard.
Each Astartes stiffens in response to their Primarch’s presence, bowing their heads and saluting. Or at least, Raldoron in particular tried to salute. The body currently draped over his front made resting his fist against his chest properly impossible, instead his arm had to curl over the sleeping spider on his lap and hover his fist about where it should be. His Father didn’t seem to mind.
“At ease,” he calls, striding into the room proper, two Sanguinary Guards flanking him silently.
“Would you have me wake them, my Lord?” Raldoron asks as the Primarch approaches him.
Sanguinius smiles down at his gene-son, for the most part looking every bit the vision of the living angel he was seen as. Except, that is, for the slightest strain in the curve of his lips as he takes in the sleeping form on Raldoron’s lap. A detail the First Captain is only just able to catch before his Father’s visage is completely smoothed over, free of any indication that something might be amiss.
“No, there’s no need,” Sanguinus says. Reaching out a hand, he tenderly smooths the back of his pointer and middle fingers along the sleeping figure’s cheek. “You were right, my son. For them to have survived an entire morning of Nassir’s training has more than earned them some respite… however,” he trails off, his gaze flicking up to meet Raldoron’s with a hint of... mischief? “I do believe you have a central role in this little council of ours, First Captain. One that would necessitate both the use of your hands and the ability to stand, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Of course,” Azkaellon chimes in, a lightly smug tone coloring his words. “There’s plenty of time before the council is called into session. Why not take the spider back their chamber if they’re so–”
Before he can finish the thought, however, Sanguinius leans down and gathers the sleeping figure into his own arms with gentle resolve. “Allow me to take them off your hands,” the Primarch croons, already turning away to approach his own seat at the head of the room.
Any baseline would have been able to hear a pin drop amongst the ensuing silence that blanketed the room, as all five Astartes are at a loss for how to react. So shocking to them is his behavior that even his two accompanying guards stand rooted to their spot near Raldoron rather than following him up to the dais as they should.
Their Primarch, however, pays their distress no mind. Calmly, he settles himself atop his throne and begins adjusting the figure in his lap to rest more comfortably. Favoring his left side, he tucks them snugly against his body before spreading out his wing and draping it delicately over their form, hiding them from sight.
“There... Now, Raldoron is free to present what he must and our little spider will be plenty warm as they get some much needed rest,” Sangunius hums.
Having been addressed by the Primarch seems to knock his guards out of their reverie as they swiftly move to flank him once again where he sits, one slightly ahead of the other, without comment. Raldoron and Astian simply nod in acknowledgement, though they continue to stare at their gene-Father in a dumbfounded manner.
Azkaellon seems to be the last in the room to recover, as he struggles to make sense of the scene before him. The first truly coherent thought to break through the whirlpool of propriety and implication rioting about the Commander’s mind comes in the form of a near childish whine, echoing out across the farthest reaches of his mind: ‘Not you too, Father…'
#spider-person in 40k#sanguinius#sanguinius x reader#warhammer 40k x reader#primarch x reader#primarch x oc#? I guess#it is a rather detailed persona for a reader#space marine x reader#I'm not entirely happy with it but I just wanna get this shit Out of my brain so whatever#my writing
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all you had to do was stay ✪ part 9
Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x fem!reader
Summary: Six years ago Jake hit your life like a hurricane. In and out in a matter of weeks. You thought after you get over the disappointment of him leaving without saying a word you’d never think of him again. But then two pink lines change your life forever. Now he’s back and still has no idea that the little girl by your side is his daughter.
Words: 3.9k
Warnings: a little bit of angst, me not knowing how the navy works so just assume it works like that lol, SMUT 18+ [unprotected sex, oral f receiving, a little breeding kink maybe?, dirty talk, praising, cumplay, the whole thing is pretty filthy considering this series has been quite tame so far lol]
A/N: Here’s part nine!! the final part before the epilogue!!!! enjoy
feedback is always appreciated <3
series masterlist || masterlist
You use every opportunity to distract yourself from the fact that Jake is gone and you don’t know when he’ll be back. If he’ll be back. You really try your best not to think too negatively, but you can’t help worrying. You just hope it gets better with time, because you know for a fact that you’re going to be with Jake when he comes back. If he comes back.
You shake your head to get rid of these thoughts. You have to stay positive, if not for you then for Josie. She’s the ray of hope in your dark thoughts. She doesn’t even consider the fact that Jake might not come back. You know it’s because she doesn’t know the severity of this mission and the dangers of his job in general. But it still cheers you up.
Thankfully, your week is packed full with promo for your new book. You’ve got several signings and interviews, and you thank whoever is responsibly because it couldn’t have come at a better time. Josie spends a lot of time at Penny’s while you’re working. Penny is restless as well. With your whirlwind of emotions around Jake’s return you completely missed that Penny rekindled an old romance as well. And now you’re both praying that they’ll get back from their mission unscathed.
You’re in LA for the day, being interviewed and doing a signing in a small bookstore. Just like the days before, you’re thankful for the distraction. But it’s also exhausting. You’re not used to this much human interaction, and as much as you love seeing your little readers’ smiling faces and listening to parents tell you how much they love your books, you feel like your own smile is stuck on your face. Your cheeks are hurting. And it’s draining to pretend to be carefree.
When you finally leave at the end of the day you can’t wait to pick up Josie and go home. You honestly just want to sleep. This was your last commitment for a while and you’re already thinking about just spending a week doing nothing except play with Josie. You need to recharge your batteries.
Back in San Diego, Josie seems equally as excited to see you.
“Thank you so much for looking after her and Muffin,” you give Penny a hug.
“Don’t worry about it.” Penny waves her hand dismissively. “I love spending time with these two. And I know both of us could use the distraction.” She gives you a lopsided smile.
You nod your head. “Yeah I guess so. It’s just hard not knowing anything.”
“They’ll come back.” Penny sounds certain, but you know she’s trying to convince herself as much as she’s trying to reassure you.
You feel yourself tearing up, so you just nod again. “You have fun on your sailing trip okay?” Penny and Amelia decided to go on a spontaneous sailing trip first thing tomorrow morning. You know it’s another distraction for Penny, but you don’t mention it.
“We will! And you get some rest, okay?” She gives you that concerned mom look and you have to roll your eyes.
“I don’t think I have much of a choice.” You laugh. “I’ll probably go to bed right after tucking Josie to sleep.”
Penny laughs, then you call for Josie and head out after saying goodbye to Penny.
Dinner consists of Josie’s favourite take-out, you’re too tired to cook anything and you live for the smile on Josie’s face.
“This is my most favourite!” Josie exclaims and throws the rest of her chicken nugget into her mouth.
You chuckle, “I know, honey.”
“We need to go there again when Daddy comes back.” She says it so matter of fact it makes you smile sadly.
“We will.” You pat her hand gently. “I’m sure he’ll love it just as much.”
“More than me?” She looks at you with wide eyes.
“Now, that’s impossible. He doesn’t love anything more than you.” You run the back of your hand over her cheek and she smiles.
“Not even you?” It makes you stop for a second. You’re pretty certain he was about to tell you he loves you before he left, but maybe he wanted to say something completely unrelated? You’ve been mulling it over for days, and the more time passes the more you doubt that that’s what he wanted to say. But there’s still a small glimmer of hope somewhere inside you.
You don’t exactly know what to say, so you settle on, “Not even me.”
Once you’ve tucked Josie into bed you change into more comfortable clothes and curl up on the sofa. You don’t think you can pay attention to anything on TV but you turn it on anyway, even if it’s just a background noise to your spinning thoughts.
✩̿✪̿✩̿
It’s after Josie’s bedtime when Jake uses the key you gave him for the first time. He could’ve rung the bell, the lights in the living room are still on, but he wanted to surprise you.
Muffin greets him at the door, his tags giving a soft jingling sound not unlike Jake’s dog tags. He smiles.
“Did you look out for our girls? Yeah? Good boy.” He rubs behind Muffin’s ear, then ventures further into the house. He can faintly hear the TV in the living room, so that’s where he goes, the sound of his heavy boots muffled on the carpet.
There you are, curled up on the sofa, asleep. Jake smiles to himself. He missed you so much. He was only gone for a week, possibly the shortest mission he’s ever been on, but he missed you the second he said goodbye.
He doesn’t really want to wake you, if you fell asleep on the couch you probably need the sleep. But he wants to see your eyes, your smile, wants to hear your voice. So he slowly crouches down by your side and gently pushes your hair out of your face before running the back of his hand over your cheek, back and forth until your eyelids start to flutter.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers and then your eyes finally snap open. He watches as they fill with tears and then you throw your arms around his neck and pull him close. It only takes him a millisecond to reciprocate the hug. Holding you tight, he leaves kisses on your temple.
After a while you lean back to look at him and seeing the tears streaming down your face breaks his heart. “What are you crying for?”
“Happy tears,” you assure. “I’m just happy to see your stupid face again.”
He chuckles, “You don’t think my face is stupid.”
You shake your head. “No, I really don’t.”
This makes Jake laugh out loud. He squeezes you a little tighter. “I missed you, too.”
And then you stand there just looking at each other.
*
He’s home. You still think you’re dreaming as you stare at him standing right in front of you. His green eyes are sparkling in the low light of the living room and you’re filled with such a warmth you can’t put it into words. Or maybe you can. Because it’s love. You love him. You’re about to open your mouth and just blurt the words but Jake is quicker.
“There’s something I promised to tell you when I get back.” He whispers, running his thumb over your cheek.
You nod, “And what’s that?” You don’t dare speak louder than a whisper, afraid to burst the bubble you’re in.
Jake’s eyes roam over your face before they lock on yours again. “I love you.” He says and then new tears are in your eyes.
“I love you, too.”
Jake seems just a little bit surprised at your words, “Yeah?” he sounds hopeful.
“Yeah,” you nod, “so much.”
“C’mere.” And then he finally pulls you into a kiss. You bury your hands in his short hair and pull him as close as you possibly can.
Never before has a kiss made you feel this much. Kissing Jake has always been special, you used to think it was just because of the sexual tension between you two, but it’s more than that. You don’t ever want to kiss someone else ever again.
Somehow you end up straddling him on the sofa, his hands on your hips. You feel him growing hard beneath you and it doesn’t help with curbing your own arousal. As you start grinding your hips against his, Jake moans into your mouth.
“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” you say, after pulling away just enough to talk. The tip of your nose is still brushing against his.
“You sure? We don’t have to.” Jake leans back just a little bit more so he can look at you. His thumbs have slipped under the fabric of your t-shirt, rubbing gentle circles on your skin.
“I’m sure,” you nod. “I wanna feel you.” You feel Jake’s hands tighten around your hips before he lets out a breath.
“Okay,” he gives you one more deep kiss before he lifts you up and makes his way over to your bedroom. He gently lays you down on your bed, his hands roaming over your body and you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anybody so bad.
You tried dating a few times since Josie was born, but nothing ever came of it. Did you need someone to scratch that certain itch every once in a while? Yes. And you got that. But it never became more than that.
But this? This didn’t feel like you needed to scratch an itch, to just get it over with and then you can go on with your life. Nothing has even really happened yet and you already know you won’t be able to get enough of him.
Slowly, so slowly, you undress each other. Both of you cherishing every inch of skin exposed. Until you’re bare in front of him, your knees either side of his head while he trails kisses over your inner thighs.
“So pretty,” he murmurs against your skin. “I missed your pretty pussy so much.” He gently runs his thumb over your clit and it sends a jolt of electricity up your spine. “Missed your taste.” And then he leaves a kiss on your clit before licking a stripe up your middle. “So sweet,” he hums before doing it again. All you can do is bury your hands in his hair, arch your back and pull him closer.
It’s like devouring you is Jake’s favourite pastime, he’s got his eyes closed, one of his hands gripping your thigh, the other on your belly to keep your hips steady. And every time you’re about to come, he moves away and peppers kisses on your inner thighs again.
“Jake, please.” You finally whine, tugging on his hair.
“Please, what?” You can hear the smirk in his voice.
“Need you inside me.” You give his hair another tug, and he finally crawls over you, so his head is hovering over yours. You can smell yourself on his lips and it makes even more warmth pool between your thighs.
You can’t really read the expression on his face until he says, “I didn’t bring any protection.” He gently moves your hair out of your face.
“I don’t have anything here either,” you realise. You weren’t expecting to have sex anytime soon. Were you thinking about doing it with Jake? Absolutely. But you didn’t allow yourself to actually consider it until he was home safe. You sigh. “And I’m not on birth control, either,” you admit. “It should be a safe time though …” you trail off. Is it reckless to have unprotected sex when you’ve already had an unplanned pregnancy? Yes, absolutely. Is the thought as scary as it should be? No.
“You mean …?” Jake tilts his head.
“I’m healthy. And if you’re planning on sticking around …”
Jake places a soft kiss on your lips. “I’m sticking around. I’m not gonna leave again, unless you want me to. I might not always be around, but I’ll always come home to you. Always.” The honesty in his voice makes you tear up again. You wind your legs around his hips and feel him heavy against your thigh.
“If you’re okay with it … I’m willing to risk it.” You haven’t even fully uttered the sentence before his lips are on yours again.
“I’m willing to risk it with you any time, sweetheart.”
“I love you,” you say and pull him into another kiss.
“And I love you. So much.”
And then he positions himself at your entrance and slowly pushes in. You throw your head back because it just feels that good. When his hips are flush against yours he pauses for a second, both of you enjoying the feeling of finally being together.
Jake starts moving in and out of you slowly, filling you with leisurely thrusts. And it feels so good. Until you need more.
“More,” you moan.
“Sweetheart, I’m not gonna last.”
“That’s okay.”
“I want you to come first.”
“I’ll come with you.” You move your hands between your bodies and start rubbing your clit. It doesn’t take long for Jake to pick up his thrusts, the tip of his cock rubbing against your g-spot every time.
“Fuck,” he grunts, his movements becoming erratic.
“Come for me Jake,” you whine. “Come inside me, please.”
You feel him starting to twitch inside you. “Oh fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.” And then he’s kissing you again, swallowing your moans while bucking his hips into you, his release painting your walls and you’re right there with him. Goosebumps are covering your body and all you can feel is him.
You stay like that for a while, both of you catching your breath, his heavy weight on top of you, but you’re enjoying it. You feel safe, you feel loved.
When Jake pulls out his eyes are fixated on the way your combined come drips out of you.
“So fucking beautiful,” he runs his fingers through your folds, spreading your juices, and starts playing with your clit. A moan bursts out of you.
“You got one more in you”?
“I don’t know, Jake.”
“C’mon, baby. One more.” The nickname is new, but you don’t mind it. It makes your insides flutter.
“Kiss me.” He obliges, his thumb on your clit as he enters you with two of his fingers while kissing you senseless. When he moves his kisses down your neck you can’t contain your moans.
“You gotta be quiet, baby. As much as I’d love to hear you scream for me. Can you do that for me?” You nod and bite your lips together. “Good girl.”
It doesn’t take long until you’re on the edge again and with one more flick of your clit you’re coming again.
“That’s it. That’s it, baby. Just like that. Look at you. So gorgeous.” Jake’s words and his gentle caresses carry you through your orgasm until you’re completely spend and you’re too sensitive. When he notices, he moves his hand away and gives you another kiss. “My sweet girl. So good for me.”
“I love you.” It seems you can’t stop telling him.
His eyes crinkle as he smiles. “I love you.”
✩̿✪̿✩̿
You’re woken up by a trail of kisses being left on your shoulder. You’re still tired but at the same time you feel like you’re filled to the brim with energy. You and Jake didn’t get much sleep last night. Turns out when he said ‘one more’ he was lying. Because there were two more in the shower after that.
You slowly turn around so you can look at him. His hair is messy and the warm sunshine falling through the window makes him look like an angel.
“Hi.” You can’t contain your smile and Jake mirrors your expression.
“Hi,” with the arm he’s got wrapped around you he pulls you closer to him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
You didn’t think it was possible but your smile becomes even bigger. “Good morning.”
“You look happy.”
“I am.” You admit. “Could get used to waking up like this.” You wind your leg around his hip, and you can feel him against your core even through multiple layers of clothing, it’s enough to make your heart start racing. The look in Jake’s eyes becomes heated.
“Yeah?” His hand moves to your ass and gives it a squeeze. It makes you giggle.
“Mhm.” You nod, shuffling just a little closer to him.
“Well, funny you mention that, actually.” Jake’s hand is running over your back and it takes a moment for his words to register.
“Huh? What do you mean?” You sit up a little, shifting so now Jake’s on his back while you’re partially hovering above him.
“I’ve got this new position that requires me to stay in San Diego long term. And I kind of need a place to stay.” You can only look at him with wide eyes. What? “I don’t have to … I can just … If you don’t want me to, I can look for a place of my own. I didn’t mean to just … invite myself, I guess. I just thought—“
You interrupt him with a kiss. “You’re staying here?”
“Yeah,” he nods and smiles a little sheepishly. “I got a position at Top Gun. Nothing special but with the possibly of becoming an instructor one day.” He shrugs. “I’ll be right here for the foreseeable future. I wanna be close to you and Josie. Even if you don’t want me moving in, which I understand—“
“You want to move in?”
“Of course I do. We’ve already lost so much time, I’ve lost so much time with Josie … I don’t want to lose any more. You’re it for me sweetheart. I’m gonna marry you one day.”
Your mouth drops open at that.
“If you want to.” He smiles. “I want to give you your dream life, with the husband and the white picket fence … two point five kids.“
You pinch him playfully, but then lean in to give him another kiss.
“Sounds like a plan,” you murmur, before kissing him again. Jake pulls you closer and you can feel the smile on his lips. He breaks the kiss and you can tell he’s about to say something when you hear the door being opened slowly.
It’s Saturday morning, and that usually means Josie will come over for some cuddles before breakfast. You turn to the door with a smile.
Josie pokes her head in, her hair messy from sleep and here eyes still halfway closed. That changes when she notices you’re not alone.
“Daddy?”
“Hey, Peanut.” That’s all it takes for Josie to come running towards the bed, climbing on it and tackling Jake in a hug.
“I missed you soooooooo much,” Josie shouts, and Jake laughs.
“I missed you, too. Every second of every day,” he smiles.
✩̿✪̿✩̿
Just like you promised yourself you would, you spent the following week doing nothing except spend time with Josie. Except, you’re not doing it alone but with Jake. He’s got a bit of free time before starting his new position and while he needs to move his stuff down from Lemoore, he claims he doesn’t have much to move, one trip would suffice.
Together, the two of you decided to just take the plunge and have him move in. Why waste any more time? Josie was quite possibly the biggest fan of that idea. Jake will have a shadow 24/7 if she has her way, but you don’t think Jake would have a problem with that.
“You ready?” Jake pokes his head into the bathroom, where you’re finishing your make-up.
“Almost.”
“I love you.”
You turn to Jake with a smile. He’s been saying it every chance he gets, says he needs to make up for the last six years.
“I love you, too, you big goof.”
“Hey!” He playfully pouts, “don’t let the others hear you call me that. I have a reputation to uphold.”
You raise an eyebrow. “And what would you like me to call you instead?”
Jake stalks into the bathroom, pretending to think. He wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “How about Daddy?” He whispers and you can’t stop the goosebumps from appearing on your arms.
“Why am I not surprised?” You laugh. “Should’ve known you’re into that.”
Jake hums, then says, “Only because you made me one.”
*
The Hard Deck is not super busy this evening, it’s still early and the middle of the week but Jake wanted to introduce you to the people who made sure he got home safe. Even though he was the one who saved Maverick and Rooster, but Jake won’t be petty. Maybe.
Jake’s almost bursting with excitement as he pulls you by the hand, Josie on his hip. The group’s chatting in the back of the bar but as soon as they spot Jake all conversation stops.
“Is that Bagman or am I hallucinating?” Phoenix stage whispers.
Coyote nods, “I think it’s real.”
Jake rolls his eyes before pulling you into his side. “I wanted you guys to meet my family.” He introduces you, then looks at Josie. “And this is my daughter Josie.”
Josie blushes, then rests her head on his shoulder and waves.
For a moment the rest of the squad just stare. Then Phoenix is the first to speak up again, “Hi, Josie. It’s so nice to meet you.” She gives Jake a look as if she’s never seen him before.
“I guess that explains where you’ve been half the time.” Coyote muses.
“I had some groveling to do,” Jake nods. “And they’re much better company than you guys.”
The whole group breaks out into protest but Jake just shrugs his shoulders.
He turns to you, “You good on your own for a moment? I’ll go get us something to drink.”
“Of course, go ahead.” You smile and for a second Jake just takes you in, then he sets Josie down beside you and gives you a kiss.
“I’ll be right back.”
At the bar, Jake leans against the bar top and watches as you talk to the squad. He didn’t realise it, but while he was starting to rebuild his relationship with you and getting to know Josie, the three of you slowly becoming a family, he also gained another family. He knows he was an asshole when they were first put together as a team, but ultimately, he grew to love these people. Even Rooster.
As if he had conjured him, Rooster shows up next to him. A certain understanding pass between the two men, then Rooster says, “You look good, Hangman.”
Jake huffs a laugh and smiles, “I am good, Rooster. I’m very good. I’m happy.”
~~~
A/N: This is it... the end. For now at least. I wanna write an epilogue so that will be coming but then it's time to say goodbye to these :(( who else is sad about that?
taglist: @annathesillyfriend ✪ @lovebittenbyevans ✪ @heyhihellowhatsup0 ✪ @one-sweet-gubler ✪ @wooya1224 ✪ @iammirrorball ✪ @lolcaca ✪ @caitsymichelle13 ✪ @soulmates8 ✪ @soleilgrec ✪ @lilylilyyyyyy ✪ @winters-queen ✪ @i0veless ✪ @the-romanian-is-bae ✪ @mandyppp ✪ @dempy ✪ @mizuki80 ✪ @averyhotchner ✪ @babyice1274 ✪ @captain-fandomwriter58 ✪ @hangmanscoming ✪ @caidi-paris ✪ @linkpk88 ✪ @djs8891 ✪ @lnmp89 ✪ @startrekfangirl2233 ✪ @gigisimsonmars ✪ @clancycucumber230 ✪ @emilyoflanternhill ✪ @roostersforevergirl ✪ @celestialeviereads ✪ @blackwidownat2814 ✪ @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak ✪ @grxcisxhy-wp ✪ @atarmychick007 ✪ @dakotakazansky ✪ @alana4610 ✪ @memoriesat30 ✪ @entertainmentgal8 ✪ @shanimallina87 ✪ @smoothdogsgirl ✪ @i3k2ts ✪ @frenchtoastix ✪ @twsssmlmaa ✪ @elijahmikaelsonbitch ✪ @simpxmarvel ✪ @harrysgothicbitch ✪ @midwestmarvelbabe ✪ @lunamoonbby ✪ @wkndwlff ✪ @anarchyrising
#jake seresin x reader#hangman x reader#jake seresin x y/n#jake seresin imagine#hangman top gun#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick#jake seresin smut#hangman smut
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white mercedes!
he’ll always be here when you eventually come back
itoshi rin x reader: toxic dependent rs LOL + on and off rs, inspired by charli’s song, angst(?) but you get back tgt, both pov!, not proofread + likes n reblogs r appreciated! <3
its a cycle - a cycle that rin has grown too fond of, too familiar of, too used to. of course, he knows its unhealthy, not that anyone tells him, its a secret he’ll keep deep in his heart. he tells himself, its just familiarity - the way your face buries in his chest, hands tugging at his shirt for comfort that he swear as makes his heart swell up, the way your name rolls off his tongue so perfectly like it was meant to be, the way you always come back no matter what. its meant to be in its own sick ways, and it gives him a sick feeling that thrums against his heart when you inevitably come back - as if you know you’ll be his no matter what.
he thinks he can forget everything when you ring him up after another bad ending to a date or relationship (he prays to no one in particular for it to end each and every time, cursing them too), when you come back home to his familiar apartment that you know the passcode and have the keys to in your bag at all times, when you melt yourself against him, fitting with him like a puzzle piece. he can forget the way you practically ripped his heart out with your bare hands when you tell him the inevitable words: “lets break up”, he can forget the way he swears the world turns black with puzzle pieces with the way his ears and ringing and his head throbs, he can forget the way you look at him like he’s nothing, like he’s just temporary, a toy to you when you feel a little lonely, when things don’t go your way. he can forget that he’s just temporary comfort in your arms, forget that you don’t love him the way he loves you, forget that you’ll be gone and in love with everyone else but him he swears. he can forget that your lips had touch someone else’s just hours ago, he can forget your hands had lingered and roamed someone else’s before, he can forget that you don’t only look at him with that look in your eye that he wishes to keep in his own museum of memories. he thinks he can forget all the hurt you put him through when youre together - forget the emptiness in his heart when you go to another party, find someone else, and be anywhere else without him that now feels full with your touch that practically feels like a drug to rin., forget the tears that streams down his face and stains his face that your fingers trace so softly as though an apology when you stop texting back, a reflection of you being busy with someone else yet again, forget the sleepless nights wondering where you are now that youre right beside him on his bed.
but deep down, he hopes tonight, you’ll stay a little longer. more than just what he should expect now - more than just warming his bed and his heart and his body, more than just another temporary comfort where you’ll be gone tomorrow morning or night, more than what he knows you’ll ever be able to give him. maybe each and every time he lets you stay - its his confession in his own way, of unsaid “i love yous” that he knows wont be reciprocated by the end of the week, of unsaid wishes of you staying by him for the rest of his life even in this twisted way that he loses more and more hope of every cycle, of unsaid pleadings for you to just stay with him in his world. but he knows too, that by the end of tonight, he’ll drive you to work, and your replies will slow down, and he’ll be left all alone in his apartment by the end of tomorrows night - or even if he’s lucky, he knows its inevitable, a month of loving you and being yours before the house of cards comes crashing down and all he’s left alone are the ashes of you and him: all alone in his room that he can still practically see the ghost of, feel the phantom touches of yours that he swears is imprinted on his body, lying in the gory mess of his guts all thrown up and ripped out of him when you inevitably say your goodbyes. yet, he keeps opening that damn door whenever it rings with that familiar tune, accepting those cursed phone calls that restarts the cycle, giving you his already scratched up and bruised heart for you to make a mess even more. its love - letting you step all over him without a single word and still letting you do it for the rest of his life until one day you’ll grow tired of this comfort (he hopes you never will, its the only thing he can offer after all). its love - letting you stay over and mess up his life, leave him with bruises on his neck and hands with your kisses and bites that he’s always so mesmerised by, as though youre letting it known that he belongs to you (even if he doesn’t because you end up leaving). its love - letting you run away each time and still letting you come back without any hesitation even if logically he should (because the pain is worth the warmth you always give him whenever you come back).
and you don’t want to admit that its love you feel for him - its fear you feel when your heart inevitably only beats a little faster when youre with him, its anxiety you blame it on when your stomach pools with butterflies when youre in his arms, and its guilt you feel when you inevitably run away again. love is overwhelming - being with him is too much, you don’t feel that sensation that practically brings you to that high, not with alcohol, not with partying, not with anyone else. its strange, the first time you feel it with him, and you don’t want to admit that its love - as though its forbidden (everyone with a mind begs you to just stay with him), as though its one-sided (you know it isn’t, you know he loves you too: he tells you and its pain that courses through your whole body), as though it was never meant to be (only because youre too scared to stay).
its not love, you tell yourself, when you inevitably come back to his apartment that you’ve memorised the address and route to from work, from the club, from anyone else’s house you just don’t feel at home with. its not love, you tell yourself too, when you go out with everyone else but him, your heart hurting as though its conveying to you its wrong, its wrong to be with anyone else other than itoshi rin. and its not love, when you spend the night looking at his face that you try to memorise every curve, every line, every bit of it before you inevitably have to leave, when you spend the night awake breathing in his warm and familiar scent that almost lulls you to sleep if not for your dedication, when you spend the night awake loathing the fact youre going to leave the next morning.
deep down, you know you can stay - its what rin wants underneath all the walls he’s built sky high that he lets collapse when youre with him, its what rin wants when he lets you in each and every single time no matter what time it is, when he lets his fingers and gaze linger a little too long for it to be deniable anymore. and you should - he always has your favourite snack stacked up almost as if trying to appeal to you even though he follows a strict diet for his career, always have your shirts and pants all neatly folded in the closet when you come back, always have your side of the bed neatly arranged, your figure practically already imprinted on it.
and its fear that grips at your heart when it just feels so right. you know you’ll mess it up, not that you haven’t millions of time when you already have him at the palm of your hand. you know youre no good, the first break up was a clear reflection - in your mind, its bloody, gory and messy, the hearts of you and him strewn onto the grown, soaked with tears and black blood that still paints your memories. yet, you two keep finding each other, as though magnetised by some sort of twisted fate that wont let him escape your sick love. you end up always at his place anyways - after a bad breakup with some nobody whos face is blurry and hazy in your mind as you look at rin’s, after a night out that leaves you throwing up your bloody black and red guts into his toilet as he rubs your back so gently, a complete contrast to the way youre violently throwing up, after another date that sees through your disinterest and leaves you right in the rain that rin somehow fights through with an umbrella to shield you from the rain and maybe from the world too, your hands holding his shakily as though hes the one who will inevitably disappear on you.
but today, it just seems so different - his touch on you feels fleeting, as if hes already ready to let go, his eyes seems a little more watery than usual as though hes only counting down to your eventual farewell, his familiar bracelets that matches with you nowhere to be tugged at when you intertwine your hands with his as though you two are no longer together. you think it just might be over - its inevitable, of course hes sick of this stupid cycle you cant help but continue each and every time to feel safe and secure, of course hes lost feelings now that hes seen the real you, of course hes tired of you who has done thing but leave after youve gotten your way. and you want to say its alright: because youve never loved him the way he should, because you cant be what he wants, because its not love you were made for. and yet, youre selfish, god you know you are: when you come back each and everytime and melt into rin’s arm thst is deserving of so much more, when you leave even when you see the tear stains on his face and shaky voice memos he leaves you wishing you to be nothing but safe, when you repeat the cycle.
“rin… y-youll always be here right?” you hate how your voice shakes, your feelings unintentionally boiling and spilling over more than it should ever, you hate how vulnerable you sound whenever youre with him because deep down you feel safe and yourself with him that you dont with anyone else, you hate how youre asking for confirmation from him, because you know he’ll say the same thing each and every time.
“of course.” and rin hates how he will never change the answer to the inevitable question because he loves you and always will, hates how he can never leave this twisted grip that feels like thorns in him whenever he holds you that pricks at his heart and lungs, hates how he feels you might be slipping away from him with the way you hesitate yet again, restarting the cycle that he loathes and wish nothing but to leave on some days.
“… rin. let me stay, more than just tonight.”
you know its selfish, to trap him in the twisted thorns of your love, to keep him withh you away from the rest of the world, to make it official only to end it again inevitably when you yourself get terrified of the same thorns that claw at you the same way it claws at rin that he never minded. its selfish to promise to stay, to be his soulmate again, to be his again at all when you know deep down youll leave - simply because you feel him leaving, because you feel hes getting tired of it, because you know he deserves better.
and yet, you dont miss the way rin’s eyes seem to light up from its earlier dull look that pains you from the thought of him crying over you, dont miss the way he unconsciously tugs at your shirt, clinging closer to you with the reassurance, dont miss the way he lets out a breath that he has held this whole time. and you know deep down, he’ll always let you stay: even when you leave again, even when you dont stay, even you keep breaking his heart. and in a twisted way, you love it: because it means he loves you too even if you cant bear to tell or show it in fear, because means that he wont get tired of you to be the one who leaves, because it means youll always have him forever one day when you put your fear aside and embrace him the same way you do now.
and rin doesnt miss the way your voice seems so afraid and shaky when you ask of him as though youll ever be afraid of him saying no, doesnt miss the way your eyes too light up even with those dark eyes circle that he wishes to fix when he takes you back in again, doesnt miss the way you bury your face in his chest either when he says yes to you being his again. and he loves it: because it means you love him too even if you keep running away for god knows why, because it means one day youll stay forever in his embrace, because it means youll deep down never be sick of him with the way you always come back into his arms.
maybe youll go back on your promise, maybe you wont - but for tonight: youre rins, and rins all yours.
#itoshi rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#rin.<3#itoshi rin angst#blue lock angst#wrote this in the train and in a restaurant im so unemployed actlly LOLLLLL#but at least im getting back into writing again aft what happened last week…#need a rin bc i lowk am too scared of relationsips too sorryg#lowk projecting but! yk!
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Captain price x neighbour!reader
i hate this, but enjoy. Please feel free to send in ideas/ requests.
warnings - smut lol
you're his younger neighbour, he noticed you moved in a few days ago. he saw you moving boxes and bits but he was gone each time before you could introduce yourself. attractive young girl, he thought. but last thing he needed was someone in his business he came across as the type of person who liked to keep to himself
you didnt see much of the mystery man who lived on your right, he left in the early morning and got back later at night. you were introduced to everyone else except him.
you were determined to make a good impression, there was no reason why he could have a problem. John got in about an hour ago, a small knock heard on his door.
there you were, cute little dress holding a bottle of wine and a small bunch of flowers, sweet. you looked like you were there to pick him up for a date
he was holding the door open, bicep flexing slightly and you couldn’t help but stare
looking down at the smiling girl before him holding out the flowers "for you"
"thanks" was the only thing he could think to say in the moment, still a bit confused, but he took them none the less
"I'm you're new neighbour and I just haven't been able to catch you yet so I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm y/n"
shit, he thought. He could tell he was going to have a tough time ignoring you "John, nice to meet you" he held his hand out
fucking hell, he was hot. fuck- his voice you took his hand shaking it, secretly screaming about how big and rough his hands felt in comparison to yours
you forget you had the wine "oh yeah! I got this for you, I didnt know what you like but this is personal favourite of mine, I know it's good"
he let out a chuckle at your slight awkwardness
john stood there for a minute contemplating with wine and flowers in hand but your sweet perfume was clouding his judgement and that dress, the neckline... that really wasn't helping
he couldnt help a quick glance at your tits, god they looked good. he prayed you didnt notice
you did
"you wanna come in and help me finish this" he asks
fuck yes
hours later and glasses of wine later you're on top of him straddling him on his couch
your dress pulled below your tits and his shirt thrown somewhere behind you as your hand worked on his buttons
his rough hands kneading your tits, grabbing your hips
any good judgement from him was gone, that look in your eye and the way you kept staring at his lips made sure of that
you're kissing him hard, teeth clashing, trying to drink each other in.
he lets out small grunts each time you roll your hips into his, even more reason to do so. his hands grabbing at your hips, moving you at a constant pace, trying to get those breathy whimpers from you
he'd work one of his hands under your dress and into your panties while the other worked your tits running his finger through your fold and groaning at how soaked you were
he goes to slip a finger in but you weren't about to miss this opportunity
you slither down his land and fall to your knees in front of him
he looks down at you, legs spread and hair disheveld from your hands
your hands making quick work of his belt
his hand resting on your head the whole time while he watches you
"fuck- there you go. take it all" "little slut, fucking her neighbour she only just met" "just like that"
those comments only making you work harder, taking as much of him in your mouth as you could, your hand working the rest
he'd hold your head while he came, his head tilting up towards the ceiling and hips bucking into your throat
he pull you up into a heated kiss straight after when he finally fucks you he'd have you bent over, on all fours
he'd rub the tip between your fold and over your clit until you were begging for it "fuck, john please" "say it again" "please john, fuck me"
he'd thrust in all at once, you had soaked both of you so it was easy enough
you both simultaneously moan
his pace was steady but hard, heaving breathing from each thrust
"yeah, you like that, is this what you wanted. just wanted to be fucked huh?" he breathes in your ear
he'd be whispering the filthiest shit just to hear you whine
his stamina is unreal he hasn't faltered once he'd be practically splitting you in half, your holding into the couch for grip
his name falling from your lips like a prayer
"fucking hell, squeezing me- you close sweetheart?"
all you could do was nod your head
one of his hands would creep down to rub your clit, he wanted to get you there. you deserved it
"that's it, good girl" "cmon, give it to me" his hair is in his face, his skin is covered in a small sheen of sweat. his hands gripping onto you for dear life
his groaning in your ear about how good you're doing for him sends you over the edge. eyes rolling back, body shivering.
you best bet he's fucking you through it before cumming himself
you're squeezing him so tight and he just cant help himself. he finishes inside of you, hips finally slowing, chest rumbling with a deep groan.
"fucking hell, well that was certainly a warm welcome"
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I dont know if you’re still taking requests so feel free to ignore this lol :)
Spencer x reader angstttt all the way! Reader doesn’t work at the Bau and works as a model, however JJ confesses to Spencer right in front of reader bc she doesn’t know reader is his gf‼️ the rest is up to you sorry if it’s confusing
Hii, lovely ty for this request. I hope u don't mind I changed it a bit. Warnings: angsty, happy ending, pet names, use of y/n (1.5k)
You don't mean to overhear Spencer's conversation with JJ. It just happens. You've been seeing Spence for a lot more then a few weeks now and he still hasn't introduced you to his friends from work.
So with him forgetting his bag at your apartment, you decided that you could bring it to him to work. And maybe get introduced to his close friends, as well.
But seeing and hearing what you are right now. You are beggining to understand why he didn't rush to have you introduced.
Spencer is standing with his back to you talking to a pretty blonde ( which you know is definitely JJ). You are close enough to them to hear what they are talking about. You almost interrupt their talk, but then you hear JJ's words. She is full of kind words, pet names and sweet smiles. And to your horrible surprise, you realise, she is confessing her feelings to Spencer. But before, you can hear her say the 'L' word, you storm out of there, almost knocking over one agent on your way out.
JJ sees your accidental stumble and makes a weird face, which catches Spencer's attention.
"What is it?" he questions.
"Oh nothing, just some girl almost running Rossi over. Was my speech good? Do you think, that Will will like it?" JJ asks, but before Spencer can reply, Penelope comes running in.
"Guys guys guys, did you see what I just saw now?" she asks, excitement visible on here.
"What do you mean, Pen?"
"The super gorgeous girl, that almost just ran over Rossi, obviously, " she says in a 'duh' tone, "Since when has the Bau started hiring super models? I need to find out her name, I'd kill for the shoes she had-"
"Did-did you just say super model?" Spencer interrupts her, his eyes wide.
"Yes?" she asks uncertainly.
"Did she-" he describes your appearance, praying that it wasn't you and that you just didn't hear JJ's love confession.
"You know her? You must give me her-" Spencer is out of there, not even letting Penelope finish.
He runs out of the building like a mad man, hoping to catch you, he can't even to begin think about what you must be thinking now.
"Fuck!" he curses outside of the building, he knows you are long gone. He quickly returns to the office, eager to call you and to explain everything to you. He notices the bag, that he forgot at your place in the morning, sitting on his desk. It makes him feel even worse.
As he calls you, everybody - JJ, Rossi and Penelope - is looking at him worriedly. You, of course, don't pick up any of his calls, so Spencer tosses the phone on his desk and slumps down in his chair.
"Spencer, what's wrong?"
"I....-I fucked up," he sighs.
"What do you mean?" JJ asks.
"I mean y/n....she definitely heard your love speech," Spencer puts his head in his hands. His visible distress making JJ, Pen and Rossi even more confused and worried.
"Who's y/n?" Penelope is the first one to ask, "is that the model looking girl, that almost knocked Rossi on the ground?"
"She actually is a model," Spencer murmurs into his palms, he says it so quietly, but they all hear it.
"What?!" Pen almost yells, "how do you know that? You actually know her?"
Spencer lifts his head up, preparing mentally for what he is about to reveal. "I know it, because she-.....she's my girlfriend."
It's a complete silence after he says that. Everybody is staring at him like he has said the most unhinged thing ever.
"What are you still doing here then, kid? You gotta go to her," Rossi's the first one to speak up.
"B-but I can't just leave, what about Hotch-"
"We will take care of that, just go," Spencer doesn't need to be told twice, he is up on his feet, shrugging a coat on in a matter of seconds. He leaves the office with anxious thoughts and some encouraging words from his friends.
He sets off to your apartment, he knows you will be there, because you don't have any work right now. He gets to your apartment in record time and without hesitation, he lets himself in with a key you've given him.
He finds you in your bedroom, eyes red, face puffy and wet from crying, on a phone call with your best friend. It feels like a punch in the guts seeing you like that and it is even worse, when he knows it's because of him.
"Y/N?" he calls out your name uncertainly. You look up at him, eyes wide.
"Spencer, w-what are you doing here?" you ask, stiff as a board.
"I know you came to the office and i-"
"Please, just leave Spencer, i-i don't want to see you right now," you interrupt him, your voice hoarse from all the crying.
"Please, sweetheart. Let me explain-" Spencer begs, he knows if he leaves you right now there's no going back.
"Just go home, Spencer." You whisper, your voice breaking. You don't have the strength or a heart to shout at him to leave.
"No, I can't leave without an explanation," he stubbornly says," just give me 5 minutes, that's all I need, please."
You are very angry and upset with him, and you really really don't want him near you at the moment. You just want to curl up on your bed and cry, but you know Spencer, he has the kindest heart in the world. You know, that he wouldn't do anything to hurt you, especially not with cheating and you are most certain about it by just looking at his anxious face.
So you decide to hear him out, "o-okay, five minutes, that's all you get." You, despite your best friend's protests, hang up and listen to Spencer carefully. Tears still running down your cheeks and oh how does Spencer wish that he could wipe them away.
He explains how JJ's asked him for his opinion on her love speech for her and Will's wedding anniversary. She was worried it wasn't good enough, because she wanted Will to know how much she loves him even if they aren't together as often as they should be. So of course, Spencer agreed.
"-That's all it was. Nothing more, I swear. Even if JJ had those kind of feeling for me, i wouldn't care. Because there is only one person for me and that's you, nobody else," Spencer blurts it all out quickly, praying that you believe him. He doesn't think he can take it if you don't and decide you don't want to see him ever again.
Suddenly, you put your hands over your face, sniffling quietly, "I'm sorry."
Spencer is quick to cut the distance between the two of you. He sits next to you on the bed, his hands hovering uncertainly over you. He isn't sure, if you want his touch now.
"Sorry? For what, sweetheart?"
"For thinking that... -that you were cheating," you sadly mumble into your hands and Spencer feels like crying himself, too.
He softly pulls at your hands, until you reveal your tearstained face. He gently wipes away the wetness from your cheeks with the ends of his sleeves.
"No, I should be the sorry one. And I am. I shouldn't have let JJ tell me that o-or I should have at least mentioned to you, that she has a husband. I'm sorry, baby, I am such an idiot," he apologises, face twisted into a big sad frown.
"Yeah," you chuckle with a sniffle, he definitely is an idiot, even though he is painfully smart, "can-can I have a hug?" You question unhappily .
"Of course, sweetheart."
Spencer hugs you like his life depends on it and you don't mind one bit. It's a huge relief for both of you to be able to hold each other. Thankful, that it was just a big misunderstanding.
You hug for a long time, until your leg under you goes numb and Spencer needs to use the toilet. He looks at you, before going to pee and suddenly you feel bashful, "I know, I look awful."
Your face and eyes are red and puffy, hair a total mess, but in Spencer's eyes you are the most beautiful person in the whole world (because you are).
"Nope, you are beatiful as ever," he compliments you. He is looking overwhelmingly loving at you, that you think you might burst at the spot from.
"I love you, only you," he whispers as he leans in to give you a forehead kiss.
"I love you, too, Spence," you say and he only mouths 'I love you more' back at you as he runs to the bathroom.
Later that day, when you are all curled up at Spencer's side, he tells you all about his team, barely sparing any detail and promises to introduce you to them as soon as possible.
And it does happen. A week passes by and you find yourself being introduced to all his friends at one of the famous dinners at Rossi's.
They immediately love you. The girls pull you away from Spencer as soon as you step a foot inside the house to ask everything about you, as they fuss about how pretty you are.
Spencer watches you make friends with his Bau family with the biggest smile ever and you find yourself smiling through the whole evening, too.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid
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Wolf and bear
Halsin x shapeshifter!reader
Warnings: sexual, adult content, eventual smut, light swearing, mentions of dog fighting, first times.
Again! I don’t know Halsins character very well, nor have a played the game still lmao (3rd of the 9th ) well 5th cause that’s when I get paid lol.
Angry little wolf with her future bear husband lol
Kinda questionable xD
I cannot find Halsin smut and I need it
Also need Astarion smut
Challenging a bear probably wasn’t the smartest idea you had, but he was too close to your home. He smelt different though, not like normal wild bears that sometimes roam through. There was a scar down his eyes and his one of his lip. He was bigger than a normal bear also, then again you were a bigger than a normal wolf. Was he a shifter? He didn’t seem fazed by your warning growls and snaps, if a bear could looked amused he looked it. You huffed through your teeth and hoped he’d disappear. You headed back to your cottage, shifting back into your human form with a pained groan.
“Why’re you in pain?” you screamed at the deep voice behind you, body instantly going back into a wolf form due to reflexes. You smacked the ground with a groan before shifting back. Your body extra aching now, of course it bloody hurt your body literally changed into an animal! stupid idiot. You grabbed your robe quickly and covered yourself, you turned seeing an overly naked large man.
“Gods!” you covered your eyes praying he’d just leave.
“Do you have clothes?!” You yelled.
“I rather enjoy changing without them on, more comfortable” he said and you couldn’t argue with logic, but still. Sure if you were skilled enough in magic you’d keep your clothes on and not ruin them, every time you changed though they’d be torn and ruined.
“Why’re you here?” You asked keeping your hand over your eyes.
“It’s been a long time since I met another shifter, I was curious I suppose” he said and you sighed.
“Well I shift, the end, please leave” you probably sounded like a bitch, but you hadn’t had anyone here in years, people weren’t to found on a wolf in their villages, and life with other shifters was weird, constant need to bond with nature and a lot of nudity.
“Why have you not joined others?” He asked and you sighed.
“Because they are too much for me I like my quietness!” You pressed hoping he’d get the hint.
“You are against bonding with nature and being yourself?” He added and you groaned.
“Listen man, I don’t want your company or questions please leave!” You finally moved your hand to look at him, geez he was big. Big broad shoulders and wide torso, strong legs- oh gods. You flushed and looked back to his eyes seeing a small smirk. He had the same three scars over his eyes and the one on his lip, tribal markings down the right side of his face. Pointed ears and long brown hair half tied back.
“You didn’t answer my question” he stated and your mouth hung open slightly, did he not get a word you just said.
“I’m Halsin” he said.
“I don’t care!” You groaned getting up and going inside, slamming the door behind you.
You awoke the next morning ignoring the scenes
of last night, hopefully he’s gone back to his little nature loving pack. You went outside to tend to your garden only to freeze when you sensed someone to your left. You stared at the large man sitting by your table chewing on what looked like dried fruit. Is he serious? You walked back inside surely this was a dream, or an illusion.
“I’m real” he called and you walked back outside.
“What in the hell are you doing here?!” You snapped and he just smiled. He was clothed thankfully as he stood, woah he was much bigger than you.
“You intrigue me” he said.
“I don’t care, get off my property or-“ you stuttered what could you really do to a giant bear man? He smirked head tilted he knew you couldn’t do anything.
You ignored him as you went about your gardening. He didn’t say anything which annoyed you more, what did he want somewhere to hibernate?! Certainly wasn’t going to be in your comfortable bed.
“Excuse us” you frowned at the approaching men. The bear man stood on edge a frown on his face. You walked to them and wiped your hands.
“What is it?” You asked seeing a note in their hands.
“Have you seen or heard any bears around?” He asked and you froze.
“One with a scar on his face!” The man behind him piped up.
“No?” You said questioning.
“We believe it’s a demon” he said and you raised a slight eyebrow.
“Bear shifter” he added, so this man was a shifter hater.
“He caused a rampage in a dog fight arena” your stomach churned at the words, people still did that? Horrible beings.
“Was anyone hurt?” You asked trying to not sound suspicious.
“Just the owners, not dead, but all the dogs were let free” he answered and you felt relief flood you.
“This your husband?” He nodded to the bear man behind you.
“Uh-“ you faltered as he stood and came over with a smile.
“I am” he said and you froze as a hand went around your waist. You wanted to punch that smile off his face.
“Ah, have you heard or seen anything?” The man asked and your supposed husband shook his head.
“Can’t say I have” he said.
“Kinda got scars like you” the one behind said studying.
“Oh these I was attacked by a bear actually, got its head in our living room” he chuckled, but you felt how rigid his body went.
“Awesome!” The man behind said and you sighed.
“Well if you see or hear anything let us know, oh and if you see a dog or dogs let us know, we’re at the village council” the man said and left. The bear man growled and you tensed feeling the anger rolling off him. You rested a hand on his chest feeling his urge to murder those men.
“Killing them won’t solve anything” you said hushed and he stared down at you with big eyes. Now that he was close, you could feel his warmth, feel the muscles beneath your hand, smell his scent.
You closed your eyes for a moment taking him in before you realised what you were doing and stormed away embarrassed.
“What about those dogs?” You asked.
“They’re with good people now, away from that horrible place” he growled the last part and you couldn’t ignore the shivers and unwanted arousal it gave you.
“Good” you whispered as you went back to gardening.
Apparently this was his daily ritual, to greet you in the morning, ask some questions and just be around you. You really couldn’t deny how comforting it was to have his presence, but you also couldn’t ignore how weird it was. After a few days of not shifting your body began to ache, you hated it, hated having to change and run in the forest despite the freedom it gave you. You waited till night, waited till Halsin was gone. You went outside in a robe, shrugged it off and shifted. You took a moment to gather yourself before you took off into the woods. You rested by a lake and looked at the moon reflection rippling in the water. You heard heavy steps and stood, hackles up before you recognised the scent and scar on the big bear. You sat back down listening to him saunter over and sit by you. You enjoyed the cool breeze and took in a breath to smell the forest around you. Halsin bumped you suddenly and you looked to him seeing the bear smile. You huffed at him and looked away feeling him doing it again. You gave him a narrowed look feeling his playfulness. You pushed him back with your body watching him stumble. He roared playfully and you stood up tail wagging slightly. You bowed down slightly in a playful dog stance as he roared softly and began play fighting with you. If someone was to walk by the would be weirded out, but for some reason this felt natural. If you could laugh you would, it just came out a strange grunts and growls as you nipped playfully at Halsins paws. He was stronger though and knocked you into the water. You froze standing up quickly and shivering. You growled charging at him and trying tackle him into the water only to fail. You were pinned under him, paws in the air and you gave a huff. He shifted above you and you tilted your head.
“Shift” he said smiling and you did expecting pain. You frowned though as he waved his hand, yellow light coming from his hand.
“Was that better?” He asked softly and you nodded surprised.
“I’m a Druid” he said.
“Oh” you said glancing at your nakedness and his. You covered your breasts and looked away with cheeks flushed.
“Why do you hide?” He asked and you glanced to him, biting the inside of your cheek.
“This is- intimate” you muttered.
“I’ve never been intimate, nor has anyone seen me like this” you added embarrassed, you glanced to his face seeing his eyes darken slightly but remaining soft.
“May I kiss you?” He asked softly and you froze, but felt yourself nod. He smiled as he leant down, you closed your eyes as you felt him press his lips to yours. You made an embarrassing noise, but he just deepened the kiss. Your arms left covering your breasts and you gripped his forearms instead as he began to kiss down your jaw and to your neck. You felt him press his lower half to you, hips meeting yours, you gasped hand slapping over your mouth. You heard him chuckle lightly, his breath tickling your neck.
“I want to worship you” he said softly and heat ran straight through your body.
“I want to taste you” he pressed a kiss to a sensitive spot on your neck that made you squirm.
“Feel you” he muttered and you sealed your eyes close. You felt his hand rest on your ribs before sliding up your side and over your hip, before gripping your thigh. He gripped the flesh pulling it gently so your knee bent. He stopped kissing your neck and chuckled again as you opened your eyes and flushed, you moved your hand and he kissed you again.
“You’re not so feisty when you’re flustered” he grinned and you glared.
“I was wrong” he chuckled and you hated how you loved the sound. Hated how you loved the feeling of him against you. You were battling with yourself, you didn’t even realise he had slid down your body till lips pressed against your inner thigh. Your eyes went down to his, he smirked pushing your legs further apart before you felt his breath against your folds. Your breath hitched when a tongue darted out and ran through them, a groan leaving his lips as he began to lick. Your body squirmed and you closed your eyes leaning your head back fully. You had one hand on your stomach in a fist, the other at your side, he was skilful, gods you felt like you were in heaven, or hell. You felt his hand snake up your stomach and you opened your hand to hold it, which he gladly accepted. You moaned as he began to suck and prod his tongue against your entrance. You gripped his hand harshly but he didn’t seem to care, too busy working you up with his tongue. You felt fingers though, joining his tongue and sliding in heat. You moaned back arching as he began to slowly thrust his finger in and out. His fingers were much bigger than yours and much more delightful, you kept clenching his hand as you felt your stomach tighten with need and release. You moaned brokenly when he added a second finger, working you open for what was hopefully to come. His mouth paid extra attention to your clit while his fingers scissored and beckoned. You whined lowly muttering a please that you barely managed to get out. You felt him grin and wanted to slap the cockiness off his face, but was too caught in the pressure building. You felt the knot in your stomach come undone as you came with a moan. Your legs shuddered and you panted loudly as he continued riding out your high slowly. He sat back up, and crawled up your body again smiling down at you.
“Beautiful” he whispered and you flushed looking away. You waited for him to move, but he didn’t and you looked back ready to huff at him. He had a playful look and you groaned quietly with a huff, why was he teasing?
“Why’re you teasing?” You asked.
“Because it gets you worked up” he smirked and you glared with a huff, you crossed your arms over your chest too, looking away till he kissed down your neck and you felt his hips shift. You tensed a bit as you felt the tip of his cock resting by your entrance. He grabbed one of your hands and pressed it above your head, clenching it before he thrusted in. You moaned while he groaned in your ear, you held your breath before panting. You clenched his hand, gods you felt full. He let you adjust before slowly skipping out and back in, your eyes slipped shut as you felt the sting.
“Gods” you muttered.
“I’ve got you” he whispered giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You whined in response as he set a slow pace, the sting slowly fading. His hand left yours as he rested on it instead and you wrapped your arms around him. His pace quickened slowly and you were struggling to keep in your moans.
“Only I can hear you” he whispered lifting his head which made you open your eyes. He kissed you gently and you moaned into his mouth as he began to quicken again. He was getting close, his pants became uneven and his hips were moving more desperately. You closed your eyes tightly again, back arching as he sped up to chase his release. You gripped his arms in your hands as his hips stuttered and he came with a groan. His head was in your neck panting harshly as you lifted your hands to run them up and down his back.
“I’m sorry” he suddenly said and you frowned.
“Why?” You asked as he lifted his head.
“I didn’t bring you to your release again” he said looking guilty and you smiled shaking your head pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Another time” you whispered and his eyes widened slightly but smiled as he kissed you once more.
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