#praesaes: valerie.

[buildhope]

@praesaes​,  s10.    /  he breathes a sigh of relief with every face that he spots,  checking off a list in his head of who’s still alive.  not everyone,  he’s gathered,  but that was expected going into this mission  ---  it just doesn’t make it any easier for him at the realizations.  once he spots her,  though,  his eyes close briefly,  warmth spreading through him  ---  even if only temporarily  ---   before he looks back at her and rushes towards her.  

following the horde was nerve-racking enough,  but it doesn’t seem to compare to this  ---  the not knowing,  the wondering.  he prays she’s okay beyond just physically here.  

❝  val----  ❞    he mutters,  a hand quickly moving to her upper arm  ---  it’s careful,  knowing he can’t assume what wounds she has or hasn’t gained since they parted last.  he can’t remember much between now and the last time he saw her  (  hilltop was still standing,  his father was still alive  )  so her role in all of this is blurry  ---  he’s just glad to see he hasn’t lost her,  too.  ❝  are ya okay?   did ya----  did ya have to go through ‘em?  we were too late by the time---  ❞   he trails off,  shaking his head as he searches her eyes to check on her.

[doomdays-a]

“ i’ve never seen anything like it … ”  ╱   @praesaes​​.

❝  it’s beautiful.  ❞   maybe she’s convincing herself too,  but she has to believe there is something hopeful here  ---  that this really can be a home that’s safe,  no longer so open to threats and vulnerabilities as hollowbranch had become.  it’s not the scenario she had always dreamt of,  one where she and both of her parents stumbled upon a safe place all together and were able to settle in as a family  -----  now,  it’s only her,  but she knows they would have wanted this for her.  she knows that her father,  after passing the way he did,  would have wanted them to move on from hollowbranch and not lose anymore than they already have,  so she tries to find faith in that.  ❝  valerie,  we’re going to be okay here.  we have to believe that.  after all we’ve lost  .  .   .   ❞    she trails off,  taking a deep breath because she knows they’ve both lost someone so close to them in such a horrific way.  ❝  ----  they wanted us to find something new,  something safer.  and here we are  ---  we make it safe,  as best as we can.  and we do it together.  ❞

[geneticpawn]

     tondc was still burning, the air was choked with the smell of burning trees, of decimated buildings of wood and steel and worse of all was the stink of burning flesh. the mountain had attacked -- sending it’s comet of burning flames and killing countless, he could feel the burns on his back, the way that his jacket stuck to him, the smell of blistered flesh and boiled blood but he refused to stop now. not when he could hear them -- hear them crying out from beneath the ruined remains of the building. his fingers were bloody from pulling at the stone, his body ached from exertion but he couldn’t stop.   “  ai sou na breik yu au kom hir !  ai's rait hir !   ”   nate called, the ringing in his ear was slowly fading and he kept digging, glancing over his shoulder when he spotted movement to his right and reached -- hand grasping blindly at the woman’s arm.   “  sis osir  .  .  .  ”  it took him a moment to realize that she had no tattoos, no clan markings and he startled as he released her arm.   “  you, you’re not  --  ”  //  @praesaes​  ♡’d  for  starter  &  get’s  one  for  valerie 

[wanlidas-archive]

“I’M NOT GOOD WITH FEELINGS.”

this feels like some kind of trap,  one that rosita knows deep down that valerie is likely not trying to put her in.  but she can’t help but to be hesitant anyway,  worried that wherever this conversation is leading could END all of this entirely.  and she’s not ready for that  ---  because what they have is exactly what rosita needs.  someone to rely on,  someone to find comfort in,  someone to escape to.  without that,  she’s worried where her head might go,  that she might revert back to the person she was when she was so desperate for vengeance and justice that she was constantly putting herself and her loved ones in the fire.  but what she has with valerie,  it’s not just physical.  when she’s alone,  she’s reminded of that,  and it’s haunting.  she’s too afraid to explore that more,  so she deflects.  ❝  i’m not either,  ❞  he says simply,  shrugging her shoulders.  ❝  so who cares?  we’re a lot better without them.  right?  ❞  but she doesn’t mean without them.  she means without talking about them.  

 ↺   @praesaes

[emorality]

“I DON’T FEEL LIKE THE SAME PERSON I WAS BEFORE IT HAPPENED.”

they’re not destined to be who they think they are forever  ----  something emori learned when she realized that she had the opportunity to change herself for the better.  it took a long time for her to accept that,  to keep trying to work towards something new,  but once she had,  she finally realized what the lack of company in her life had done to her all this time.  she was cold and angry and bitter and cruel,  but she didn’t have to be anymore.  it was still her defense,  but she was growing towards something better.  things happen,  they can change you  ----  for better or for worse.

❝  it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. ❞   eyes narrow,  head tilting to the side.  ❝ ----  is it? ❞

   ↪ @praesaes, valerie.

[burygodsa]

❛ ❛        you    can’t    judge    a    man    for    somethin’    someone    in    his    family    has    done          ---          we    share    blood    but    we    ain’t    the    same    person.        ❜ ❜

@praesaes​​      ♡      (    ashton    blake    &    valerie    madera    )

[roseguidedarc]

@praesaes​ ASKED ,  “𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒊’𝒎 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈” 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆

          𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 ,  && 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒 . . her blood boiled underneath her skin for the briefest moment.   hot , quick , && all the more tempting to actually bite someone’s head off !    their people were dying because of the earthborn , every day it seemed like more && more delinquents were being picked apart or brought back into camp with a sheet over their body && a grave being dug.   clarke was tired of the    𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍   ,  she was fed up with the earthborn not even wanting to hear them out━what had happened in the past hundred years that made them this way?    yes ,  the delinquents did come onto land that had already been claimed , && anyone would be angry about that ,  but how were they suppose to know people had survived?    clarke wanted to end the suffering she saw , the fighting ,  && the ever looming threat of a war . . she’d do it no matter the cost.   naturally it seemed she, along with bellamy , had stepped into the role of   𝙻𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁  && leaders protect their people.       ;        muddied boots turn ‘round quickly to face the other ,  tone coming out a lot more harsh than intended in her mind :      ❝  we’re all trying , valerie.  ❞    some more than others.   ❝  i’m just as tired of what’s going on && i’m doing whatever i can to stop it.  ❞    but she’s tired , exhausted , && doesn’t seem a solution that solved everything.   (  everything can’t be solved, clarke.  it’s time to make a impossible decision.  live or die.   )      ❝  do you have any suggestions?  i’m all ears , honestly.  i’ll take anything at this point.  ❞