#pp: excerpt

[writingbyricochet]

Good Lines Tag

Oh my god I'm so late on this but thank you for the tag, @mariahwritesstuff!

Tagging @archivistverity @withlovelunette @sheabutterskyes @juls-writes

Rules: What's a line that you're tremendously proud of writing, and what's a line that's just out-of-context ridiculous?

Proud, from Where Paradise Died and Lived

The path opened up to a wide pasture. It would have been identical to all the other fields Sophie had seen in the past few days—a vast canvas of wild grass bracketed with towering trees that infused the air with that fresh scent of pine Sophie had come to love—except this field was alive. Scattered across the grass was a series of yellow twinkling Sophie had never seen before. They melted in and out of the dark expanse like sparks of a candle dissolving into smoke, flitting back and forth as they rose higher and faded into nothingness. There were dozens of them, disappearing as quickly as they reappeared somewhere else. Fireflies, Sophie thought somewhere in the back of her mind. She had read about them in books before, but there were none of them in Hawaii. Now that they were in front of her, she didn’t want to look away even for a moment. How strange that something so small could create a sight so mesmerizing.  Sophie had only ever known one other comparable sight, and that was when she had driven out to Hanauma Bay with her father to observe the Milky Way in her second year of high school. She remembered that night well; it was difficult to forget the acute sense of insignificance one felt when standing under what seemed like all of the cosmos. Now in a strange manner, Sophie felt the opposite. The universe was not an unreachable, incomprehensible infinity here. It was right before her then, surrounding her so she could have touched its marvels with her hand, if she had been quick enough to catch one. Not at all removed from its awesomeness, she was actually within it—part of it. The sky had fallen to the earth, and far from it being the end of the world, Sophie could only think of how lucky she was to be in a place so wondrous. If the place had been filled with fairies, she would have felt the same sense of magic. 

Ridiculous, from Poco a Poco:

The car stopped in Ueno and Rika unbuckled her seatbelt. "Um, thank you for the hospitality. I really appreciate it." "Consider a favor for your attendance at the concert," Masahiro said. "Good day." It was a generous favor, Rika thought, but she didn't say anything beyond, "See you on Monday." She clambered out of the car and made to go inside Ueno— But she stopped when she realized a small crowd of people had gathered on the sidewalk, all of them staring at her. The expressions on her classmates' faces ranged from awestruck to suspicious. Instinctively, Rika looked behind her to see if they were perhaps taken by something else, but there was nothing there beyond a bench and a stretch of grass. "What is it?" she said defensively. No one spoke. Squaring her shoulders, Rika shouldered her purse and pushed through the throng, determined to ignore the sea of faces that she could feel on her back. What's with them? It was not until she was alone in the elevator that she realized— They had all seen her emerge from the personal car of Masahiro Fujiwara, the most popular and admired student on campus.

[firelise]

☼ I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU, ep 4

↳ This feels good. I don't have to think about anything. Mmmm. I wanna keep staying this way. I love the way the seawater touches my back. It feels like something is holding me up. But you need to hold your breath all the way to stay like this. It can get uncomfortable.

[sweetdreamsjeff]

Australie

Excerpts from the article in the Sydney Telegraph, Saturday 6th June, 1997, pp 38-39. It contained an interesting interview with John Pope, Jeff's Australian tour manager, and Donny Ienner, Head of Columbia Records. (thanks to Christine Warren)

THE LAST GOODBYE Music writer Dino Scatena examines an ironic finale.

The tragic details of Jeff Buckley's final few moments read like an overly dramatic draft for one of the artist's video clips. The imagery could have served as a perfect visual counterpart to his most famous song, Last Goodbye. A carefree Buckley, laughing and singing as he walks fully clothed into the Mississippi River, floating on his back until the water's swirling hidden life-force rises to hug his fragile frame and lead it into eternity. Les détails tragiques des derniers moments de Jeff Buckley sont comme un brouillon extrèmement dramatique d'un clip vidéo de l'artiste. L'image aurait pu servir de parfait équivalent visuel pour sa chanson la plus célèbre : Last Goodbye. Un Buckley insousciant, riant et chantant comme il va tout habillé dans le Mississipi, flottant sur le dos jusqu'au moment où la force vitale cachée dans l'eau tourbillonnante s'élève pour étreindre sa fragile charpente et la conduire dans l'éternité.

Buckley would have hated such a storyboard; too cliched, too grandiose.  The 30-year-old singer/songwriter always strived to make his work uncluttered, simple, its power left to be carried through the innate beauty of his poetry and pure angelic voice. Buckley aurait détesté un tel story board ; trop cliché, trop grandiose. Le chanteur/songwriter, âgé de 30 ans, s'est toujours efforcé de désencombrer son travail, simple, son pouvoir se laissait porter par la beauté innée de sa poésie et de sa voix pure et angélique.

The extraordinary circumstances surrounding the death of Jeff Buckley has once again sent a generation of rock fans around the world into deep mourning.  It's an all too familiar tale: an artist with a seemingly mystic gift, a tortured and tormented soul whose presence is whisked away from us before its full potential is realised. Les circonstances extraordianaires entourant la mort de Jeff Buckley a plongé à nouveau une génération de fans de rock du monde entier dans un deuil profond.

(...)

As it's turned out, Buckley was only on this world long enough to release a single album, Grace will remain one of the most astonishing and well-rounded debuts of the modern rock age. Vu la tournure des choses, Buckley a été dans ce monde seulement assez longtemps pour sortir un unique album, Grace restera un des premiers albums les plus étonnants et les mieux tournés du rock de l'âge moderne.

Of course, all the tragedy surrounding Buckley's passing is compounded by the fact that his father, Tim Buckley, met a similar premature end. Tim Buckley, who many still hail as the most original folk singer of his generation, died of a drug overdose in 1975 at the age of 28. Bien sûr, toute la tragédie entourant le décès de Buckley est constituée du fait que son père, Tim Buckley, eut également une fin prématurée.Tim Buckley, que beaucoup proclament encore comme le plus original chanteur folk de sa génération, est mort d'une overdose de drogue en 1975 à l'âge de 28 ans.

        I lost myself on a cool damp night         I gave myself in that misty light         Was hypnotised by a strange delight         Under a lilac tree         (Lilac Wine)

Jeff Buckley's two visits to Sydney left an enduring impression.  He came twice within six months, first in August of 1995 and then in February of last year.  That first brief trip came on the back of an extended European tour.  "I was getting tired of it in the last moments of playing in Europe, but it's entirely new here and I've had time to convalesce," he told a reporter on arrival. Les deux passages de Jeff Buckley à Sydney ont laissé une impression durable. Il est venu deux fois en 6 mois, d'abord en août 1995 puis en février de l'année dernière. Ce premier et bref voyage venait derrière une grande tournée européenne. "Je commençais à fatiguer les dernières fois où j'ai joué en Europe, mais c'est entièrement nouveau ici et j'ai eu le temps de me remettre", dit-il à un reporter à son arrivée.

Over the next few days, he gave two unforgettable performances: one at a small club called the Lounge in Melbourne and the other at Sydney's Metro nightclub.  To those present, the Metro show on August 28 rates as one of the greatest musical performances ever witnessed in this city. In a magical 90 minutes, Buckley and his three-piece band delivered a remarkable set of light and shade featuring much of the Grace album as well as the aggressive covers of MC5's Kick Out the Jams" and Big Star's "Kangaroo".  Buckley's pure, acrobatic voice sounded all the more extraordinary in the flesh.  "You could hear a pin drop," recalled tour manager John Pope.  "He held the audience in the palm of his hand.  He'd take you on the ride with him.  He'd lift you and take you down.  He paced his gigs with finesse.  When he walked on to a stage, he felt a responsibility, but it wasn't to the audience.  It was to something else. God knows what." Les neuf jours suivants, il donna deux performances inoubliables : une dans un petit club appelé "the Lounge in Melbourne" et l'autre au Sydney's Metro nightclub. A ceux qui étaient présents, le show du Metro en août demeure une des plus extraordinaires performances jamais vue dans cette ville. En 90 minutes magiques, Buckley et les trois autres membres du groupe offrèrent un remarquable set de lumères et d'ombres jouant la plupart des chansons de l'album "Grace" comme des reprises agressives de "Kick Out the Jams" des MC5 et de "Kangaroo" de Big Star. La voix pure et acrobatique de Buckley sonnait le plus extraordinairement possible dans la salle. "Vous pouviez entendre une mouche voler" rappelle le tour manager John Pope. "Il tenait le public dans la paume de sa main. Il vous emmenait faire le voyage avec lui. Il vous levait et vous reposait. Il dosait ses shows avec finesse. Quand il montait sur scène, il sentait une responsabilité, mais pas envers le public. C'était autre chose. Dieu sait quoi."

"There was high anticipation which was rewarded 10-fold when he played, added Jen Brennan, manager of teh night's local support act Crow.  "He just moved a lot of people.  It was quite extraordinary.  It's not often that you get a crowd at the Metro that's so silent and still.  It was serene and very powerful." "Il y avait une grande anticipation qui avait été 10 fois récompensée quand il a joué", ajoute Jen Brennan, manager du Crow."Il a touché un grand nombre de personnes. C'était vraiment extraordinaire.Ce n'est pas souvent qu'on voit une foule au Metro qui soit si silencieuse et si calme. C'était serein et très puissant."

Indeed a couple of nights later at the Lounge show in Melbourne, the venue's management found it necessary to turn off the cash registers because their collective clanging messed with the ambience. De fait, deux nuits plus tard au Lounge show de Melbourne, le management trouva nécessaire de fermer les caisses enregistreuses parce que leur bruit collectif cassait l'ambiance.

That first visit was meant to be a simply a quick promotional trip to push Grace, but such was the impact of the Metro show that Buckley was persuaded to return to Sydney and play two extra gigs at the Phoenician Club to quench the city's sudden fascination with him. Cette première visite était censée être simplement un rapide voyage voyage promotionnel pour pousser Grace, mais l'impact au Metro show a été tel qu'on a convaincu Buckley de revenir à Sydney et de jouer deux nouveaux shows au Phoenician club étancher la soudaine fascination de la ville envers lui.

Within a few days of arriving, Buckley was gone. But he'd loved his time here and promised to return as soon as he could.  Buckley kept his word and was back in February for a full-scale national tour. Peu de temps après son arrivée, Buckley était parti. Mais il avait adoré le temps passé ici et avait promis de revenir aussi vite que possible. Buckley tint parole et était de retour en février pour une tournée nationale.

It was now two years since the release of Grace and the pressures of life on the road as a high-profile recording artist were starting to show.  "The whole Grace period has just been madness," he told the Daily Telegraph at the time.  "I had no idea how completely crazy in the head I was until I came back and touched ground.  I lost a lot of blood out there, meaning some things fell apart, some things got stronger.  I think maybe  I sensed my life would be altered forever, but not in any of the shapes it has.  It's just like having a child.  You can plan on it for years and years and think about it and daydream about it but when it actually happens, the ripple it causes in your life is really transforming." Cela faisait maintenant deux ans que Grace était sorti et les pressions de la vie en tournée d'un artiste de studio commençaient à se faire sentir. "Toute la période Grace a été de la folie", disait-il au Daily Telegraph à ce moment. "Je ne me rendais pas compte que j'étais complètement fou dans ma tête jusqu'à ce que je revienne et que je touche le sol. J'ai perdu beaucoup de sang là-bas, je veux dire que des choses ont disparu, certaines choses sont plus fortes. Je crois peut-être que je sentais que ma vie serait altérée pour toujours, mais pas du tout dans le sens où elle l'a été. C'est juste comme d'avoir un enfant. Vous pouvez le planifier sur des années et des années et penser à ça et rêver à ça mais en fait quand cela arrive, l'onde de choc que ça cause dans votre vie et vraiment "transformante"."

Although that second tour may have been a bit flat on stage, Buckley was still in good spirits, the same free-wheeling reckless self.  He had his girlfriend with him this time, a violinist named Joan from a band called the Dambuilders.  There was a screaming match back at the band's hotel one night when one of Buckley's bandmates came back to his room to find the singer and his girlfriend had trashed the room and had sex in both beds.  Another night when Joan's band was playing a show at the Annandale hotel, Buckley went down and took care of the light show. When the Dambuilders started trashing their own instruments at the end of the show, Buckley abandoned his lighting duites and ran up on stage and helped them do it right. Même si cette seconde tournée peut avoir été un peu plate sur scène, Buckley était toujours dans de bons esprits, le même personnage imprudent en roue libre. Il avait sa copine avec lui cette fois, une violoniste nommée Joan dun groupe appelé the Dambuilders. Il y eut une effrayante baguarre à l'hôtel du groupe une nuit quand une des roadies de Buckley revint dans sa chambre pour s'apercevoir que le chanteur et sa copine avaient dégueulassé la chambre et fait l'amour dans les deux lits. Une autre nuit quand le groupe de Joan jouait un show à l'hôtel Annandale, Buckley descendit et s'occupa des lumières. Quand les Dambuilders commencèrent à détruire leurs propres instruments à la fin du show, Buckley abandonna la lumière et couru sur la scène pour les aider à bien faire.

Friends all describe Buckley as a warm, loving, open soul but the singer was often apprehensive when first approached by strangers.  John Pope, who as tour manager for both visits spent virtually every day with Buckley while he was in  Australia, described how the artist might appear cold as ice at first and then suddenly swing to the other extreme.  "Someone on the street might say:'Are you Jeff Buckley?'" Pope explained. "And one day he night say: 'No he's over there, I saw him just go around the corner.' Or sometimes he might go, 'Yeah, I'm him' or 'Leave me alone'.  Then they might say something funny and he'd open straight up to them and talk to them like they're long lost friends.  It went that way in personal life, business life and with people he'd never met before." Ses amis décrivent tous Buckley comme une âme chaude, amoureuse et ouverte mais le chanteur appréhendait souvent ses premières approches avec des étrangers. John Pope, qui en tant que Tour Manager pour les deux passages passa virtuellement chaque jour avec Buckley pendant qu'il était en Australie, décrit comment l'artiste pouvait apparaître froid comme de la glace au début puis soudainement aller vers l'autre extrème. "Quelqu'un dans la rue pouvait dire "êtes-vous Jeff Buckley ?"", explique Pope. "Et un jour il pouvait répondre : "Non, c'est par là, je l'ai vu juste tourner au coin." Ou parfois ça pouvait être "ouais, c'est moi" ou "Laissez-moi tranquille". Puis ils pouvaient dire quelque chose de drôle alors il s'ouvrait directement à eux comme s'ils étaient de vieux amis perdus de vus. C'était comme ça dans sa vie personnelle, professionnelle et avec des gens qu'il n'avait jamais vus avant."

Pope's fondest personal memory of Buckley came during the first trip. The singer was furious when he found out that his tour manager hadn't told him that it was his birthday.  Buckley promptly organised a penis-shaped cake and presented it to Pope on stage in Melbourne before shoving his face in the gift.  Pope holds dear a photo of the pait on stage together, Buckley covered in cake and smiling broadly. Le premier souvenir personnel de Pope concernant Buckley date du premier voyage. Le chanteur était furieux quand il découvrit que son Tour Manager ne lui avait pas dit que c'était son anniversaire. Buckley organisa sur-le-champ un gâteau en forme de penis et le présenta à Pope sur scène à Melbourne avant de pousser son visage dans son cadeau. Pope montre tendrement une photo de l'événement sur scène ensemble, Buckley couvert de gateau et souriant vaguement.

"I can imagine him doing exactly what he did," Pope offered in reference to the circumstances of Buckley's disappearance, recalling the time he tried to talk the singer out of going for a night swim at Coolangatta Beach.  "From when I knew him, you'd say: 'You shouldn't do that Jeff.'  And he'd go:'Nah, it'll be all right.  Don't worry about it.'  And off he'd go.  He was carefree and easy-going like that about life.  "There was an edge to him that comes with creative people.  He was definitely touched.  He'd have those moments of of madness like any artisitc person does.  But there was no self-destructiveness in it at all." "Je peux l'imaginer en train de faire exactement ce qu'il a fait", Pope fait référence aux circonstances de la disparition de Buckley, rappelant le temps où il essayait de convaincre le chanteur de ne pas aller nager à Coolangatta Beach. "Tel que je le connais, vous auriez dit : "Tu ne devrais pas faire ça Jeff". Et il aurait répondu : "Bah, ça va aller. Ne t'inquiète pas de ça". Et il aurait été. Il était imprudent et insousciant comme ça avec la vie. "Il y avait un côté chez lui qui est lié aux gens créatifs. Il était définitivement atteint. Il avait ces moments de folie comme tout artiste en a. Mais il n'y avait pas d'auto-destruction là-dedans du tout."  

        They're waiting for you         Like I waited for mine         And nobody ever came.         (Dream Brother)  

Jeff Buckley only ever met his famous father once.  He spent a week with Tim, who left his mother Mary Guibert only a week after she gave birth to their only child, in April of 1975 when he was eight.  Two months later, his father was dead.  The weight his father's shadow cast on his life was the primary reason it took Jeff so long to take the leap into the limelight. "I knew there would be [comparisons] from the time I was a small child," Jeff once revealed.  "From the time that his manager started calling my house when I was six or seven.  I found my grandmother's guitar and [the manager] started calling the house:'Has he written songs yet?'  So I've been waiting and doing the maths in my head about the inevitable comparisons all my life. But I don't care." Jeff a seulement rencontra son célèbre père seulement une fois. Il passa une semaine avec Tim, qui quitta sa mère Mary Guibert seulement une semaine après qu'elle ait donné naissance à son unique enfant, en avril 1975 quand il avait 8 ans. Deux mois plus tard, son père était mort. Le poids de l'ombre de la personnalité son père sur sa vie fut la principale raison pour laquelle cela prit si longtemps à Jeff de sortir de l'ombre. "Je savais qu'il y aurait des comparaisons depuis que je suis enfant," révéla Jeff un jour. "A partir du moment où son manager a commencé à appeler chez moi quand j'avais 6 ou 7 ans. J'ai trouvé la guitare de ma grand-mère et le manager a commencé à appeler à la maison : "A-t-il déjà écrit des chansons ?" Alors j'ai attendu et fait le calcul dans ma tête à propos de l'inévitable comparaison toute ma vie. Mais je m'en fiche."

Buckley was never comfortable discussing his father, deeply resented the fact that he wasn't invited to the funeral.  But in 1991, he made an unannounced appearance at a Tim Buckley tribute concert in Brooklyn and performed a moving solo version of his father's I Never Asked to be Your Mountain.  "I both admired and hated it," the young Buckley said afterwards on the song written about his parents' relationship.  "That's why I did it.  It was something really private to me. I figured that if I went to the tribute and sang and paid my respects, I could be done with it." Buckley ne se sentait jamais à l'aise pour parler de son père, ressentant profondément le fait qu'il ne fut pas invité aux funérailles. Mais en 1991, il fit une apparition surprise à un concert hommage à Tim Buckley à Brooklyn et joua une version solo "bougeante" de la chanson de son père "I Never Asked to Be your Mountain". "Je l'admirais et la haïssais à la fois," disait le jeune Buckley après-coup de la chanson écrite sur la relation de ses parents. "C'est pour ça que je l'ai fait. C'était quelque chose de vraiment très privé pour moi. Je m'imaginais que si je venais à l'hommage et chantais et payais mes respects, je pouvais en être quitte".

        It's night time coming         I'm not afraid to die ...         My love, now the rain is falling         I believe my time has come         It reminds me of the pain I might leave behind.         (Grace)

Jeff Buckley signed to Columbia records home to the likes of Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen, in 1993 and soon after released the EP Live At The Sin(e). Jeff Buckley signa avec Columbia Records en 1993 à l'instar de Bob Dylan et Bruce Springsteen et peu après sortit le EP "Live at Sin-é".

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Telegraph yesterday, an emotional Donny Ienner -- head of Columbia Records and the man directly responsible for signing Buckley -- shared his reminiscences aof that early period.  "I remember the first time I went down to see Jeff after a few people had told me about his performances at SINE, I was so taken that night by the depth of his artist.  Of all the artists that I've ever personally signed, Jeff made the most immediate impact on my life. I felt that his reverence for the past, not to mention obviously the opportunites for the future, was incredible.  He knew every record of Miles Davis and Edith Piaf and opera records and classical records and Led Zeppelin records.  He was just such a great teacher of diverse music.  He defies any sort of characterisation or trend.  He had that at a very, very early age and the impact that he made on the world with just an EP and an album is going to be felt for decades to come.  Jeff never worried about rock stardom, never worried about money, and never worried about the things that a lot of young artists worry about today. He was really worried about making sure his integrity was intact at all times.  He was just an incredible thing." Dans une interview exclusive avec le Daily Telegraph hier, un Donny Ienner ému - patron de Columbia Records et l'homme directement responsable du contrat de Buckley - partageait ses souvenirs de cette récente période. "Je me souviens de la première fois que je suis venu voir Jeff après que quelques personnes m'aient parlé de ses performances au Sin-é, j'ai été si frappé cette nuit-là par la profondeur de cet artiste. De tous les artistes que j'ai personnellement signés, Jeff a eu l'imapct le plus immédiat dans ma vie. Je sentais que sa révérence pour le passé, pour ne pas mentionner d'ailleurs les opportunités pour le futur, était incroyable. Il connaissait chaque disque de Miles Davis et Edith Piaf et des disques d'opéra et des disques classiques et les disques de Led Zeppelin. C'était un super professeur de diverses musiques. Il défie toutes sortes de caractérisation ou de tendance. Il a eu ça très très jeune et l'impact qu'il a eu sur le monde avec seulement un EP et un album s'estimera dans les décennies à venir. Jeff ne s'est jamais inquiété de la célébrité rock, ne s'est jamais inquiété de l'argent, ne s'est jamais inquiété des choses qui inquiètent beaucoup de jeunes artistes aujourd'hui. Il s'inquiétait vraiment d'être assuré de garder tout le temps intacte son intégrité. Il était juste une chose incroyable."

Ienner also took the opportunity to reject widespread rumours that Buckley had been depressed in the weeks leading up to his disappearance because of problems with his record comapny over the shape his follow up to Grace should take.  "I think he was in a good place in terms of making his second record," Ienner said.  "The thing that I personally promised him when he signed to Columbia records was that he could take all the time he needed in between his records and we would not interfere on any level.  He had over 100 songs and he was ready to go in at the end of June to make his record.  He was in wonderful spirits, he was having an amazingly good time spiritually, emotionally and professionally down in Memphis (where Buckley had been since February)". Ienner a également saisi l'opportunité de rejeter les rumeurs très répandues sur une déprime de Buckley dans les semaines précédant sa disparition à cause de problèmes avec sa maison de disque, au sujet de la forme que devait prendre l'album succédant à Grace. "Je pense qu'il était bien placé en vue de faire son second album," a dit Ienner. "La chose que je lui ai personnellement promise quand il a signé à Colombia Records était qu'il pourrait prendre tout le temps dont il avait besoin entre ses albums et que nous n'interférerions pas à aucun niveau. Il avait plus de 100 chansons et il était prêt à aller au bout à la fin du mois de juin pour faire son disque. Il était dans un état d'esprit merveilleux, il passait un étonnemment bon moment spirituellement, émotionnellement et professionnellement à Memphis (où Buckley était depuis février)".

Ienner confirmed that late last year, Buckley completed seven new songs during sessions in New York with producer and former Television lynch-pin, Tom Verlaine.  "We have no plans to release anything right now.  From what I understand from the people he's been working with, there are in excess of 50 or 60 songs that he was working on.  So there's a wonderful legacy that he's left behind." Ienner a confirmé que, à la fin de l'année dernière, Buckley a terminé 7 nouvelles chansons pendant les sessions à New York avec le producteur et le fondateur de Television Tom Verlaine. "Nous n'avons pas prévu de le sortir pour le moment.D'après ce que j'ai compris des gens avec qui il travaillait, il y a en plus 50 ou 60 chansons sur lesquelles il travaillait. C'est donc un legs merveilleux qu'il laisse derrière lui."

        Looking out the door         I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners         Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water         Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong         But tonight you're on my mind so you'll never know         (Lover, You Should've Come Over)

Jeff Buckley is gone but, like all the other great artists who were cut down in their prime, his music will long outlive his tragically short life. Jeff Buckley est parti mais, comme tous les autres grands artistes fauchés dans leur force de l'âge, sa musique survivra longtemps à sa vie tragiquement courte.

(Translation: Jeff Buckley is gone but, like all other great artists cut down in their prime, his music will long outlast his tragically short life.)

[1200flowers]

17th June, m.q.a

[myceliumelium]

The first sons of Maedhros

Excerpts of “Pre-Numenorean Elves and their Influences on the Blessed King Elros, Volume 3” by Idril of Dol Amroth, under the Stewardship of Thorondir.

“The descendants of Nelyafinwë “Maedhros” Fëanorion are a matter of great confusion and consternation to the histories of the First age. This confusion and consternation is only made worse by the fact that Maedhros claimed to have no children at all. Throughout his long life, we have no record of a wedding or dalliance whatsoever, as the Annals of Numenor, preserved by the blessed King Tar-Minyatur, list him as childless and wife-less. However, there have been many individuals who either claimed to be his children, or were rumored to be such. In this study, I intend to parse out the truth of these claims. Thirty two letters addressed to “Atya Nelyo” commonly translated as “Father Maedhros” have been uncovered in the archives of Rivendell, and I have gone through the great effort of having my assistants travel there to transcribe them.” pp. 14

“The earliest of these letters are somewhat of a curiosity, as they are attributed to elves whom by dominant account already had a father. The twin sons of Fëanor, Amrod and Amras who’s valinorian names are lost, only the shared epessë Ambarussa survive to us, were the earliest figures to claim Maedhros a their father. The common knowledge places the Ambarussa as the sixth and seventh sons of Feanor, but interestingly enough, these letters are not the only time that the Ambarussa have rejected this parentage. In an argument between Amras and Curufin, recorded by a scribe in the planning of the second kinslaying, Amrod is reported to have interjected, say “I recognize no father but the one who raised me. The madman who named me forteit his claim on the banks of Beleriand.” Other letters, in dealings with the elves of Ossiriand, have Amras signing as Amras Nelyion, likely in reference to Maedhros’s Quenyan name.” pp. 68

“I feel confident in saying that even if all speculation about the Ambarussa’s actual parentage is erroneous, they, and Caranthir to a lesser extent, conferred onto Maedhros the respect and deference owed to a father, rather than onto Feanor. This role as the patriarch of the house of Feanor, and a father-figure both to his siblings and a number of fostered thrall-children previous to the blessed king Elros and his brother Elrond, raises questions upon the exact conditions, and emotional situation surrounding this period of the king’s life." pp. 205

"Lord Elrond has declined to comment. Repeatedly.” pp. 209

Translation notes

“It’s quite cute, really, the way that they address each other. Lots of little nicknames, though I find it strange how few of these letters have been signed. One can only assume that it went without saying for the recipient.”

“The thirty second letter is nearly unreadable, by what seems to be water-damaged. It is addressed to Ambarussa, and likely authored by Maedhros himself, and thus unsent, since these were letters in Maedhros’s possession before his death. Tentatively dated to 539 Y.S. based on a smudged date at the top left of the page.”

[futurebird]

I don't understand how lace is made, but looking at the bobbins and pins and patterns … listen buddy I know math when I see it. This is A Math Thing. Obviously.

Right away I want to know:

Can I encode information in lace?

How much of an expert must one be to make your own patterns?

What about the creation of surfaces?

Knitting is more accessible, and people have been exploring math with knitting forever.

But what possibilities does lace offer?

What is the theory of lace?

An excerpt from Mathematics Magazine Vol. 91, No. 4 (October 2018), pp. 307-309

Shows I'm hardly the first person to muse about this. Need to get my hands on the rest of this article, obviously.

[burningvelvet]

Lord Byron writing about book-burning, queer representation, and the value of poetry . . . in 1821:

“Let us hear no more of this trash about ‘licentiousness.’ Is not ‘Anacreon’ taught in our schools? translated, praised, and edited? Are not his Odes the amatory praises of a boy? Is not Sappho's Ode on a girl? Is not this sublime and (according to Longinus) fierce love for one of her own sex? And is not Phillips's translation of it in the mouths of all your women? And are the English schools or the English women the more corrupt for all this? When you have thrown the ancients into the fire it will be time to denounce the moderns. ‘Licentiousness!’ — there is more real mischief and sapping licentiousness in a single French prose novel, in a Moravian hymn, or a German comedy, than in all the actual poetry that ever was penned, or poured forth, since the rhapsodies of Orpheus. The sentimental anatomy of Rousseau and Madame de Staël are far more formidable than any quantity of verse. They are so, because they sap the principles, by reasoning upon the passions; whereas poetry is in itself passion, and does not systematise. It assails, but does not argue; it may be wrong, but it does not assume pretensions to Optimism.”

Context: this letter was written during the Bowles-Pope Controversy, a seven-year long public debate in the English literary scene primarily between the priest, poet, and critic William Lisle Bowles and the poet, peer, and politician Lord Byron. The debate began in 1807 when Bowles published an edition of the famous writer Alexander Pope’s work which included an essay he wrote criticizing the writer’s character, morals, and how he should be remembered. Today, we would say that Bowles tried to “cancel” Alexander Pope, who had affairs without marrying, and whose works had sexual themes. Lord Byron defended Pope, who was one of his all-time favorite writers. Pope had been dead since 1744, so he was not personally involved. This debate shows that while moral standards have changed throughout the centuries, the ways people have debated about morality have remained similar.

Source of the excerpt: — Moore’s Life of Byron in one volume, 1873, p. 708 - https://books.google.com/books?id=Q3zPkPC8ECEC&pg=PA708&lpg=PA708&dq=%22Are+not+his+Odes+the+amatory+praises

Sources on the Bowles-Pope Controversy: — Chandler, James. “The Pope Controversy: Romantic Poetics and the English Canon.” Critical Inquiry, vol. 10, no. 3, 1984, pp. 481–509. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/1343304. — https://www.britannica.com/topic/Pope-Bowles-controversy — Bowles, Byron and the Pope-controversy by Jacob Johan van Rennes, Ardent Media, 1927.

[clementine-kesh]

Excerpt from Haunted by the Narrative: Fictional Fiction at the End of the Early Internet Era, by H. Ma and T. O’Neill. Published in the Journal of Digital Archeology, Issue 43, pp. 87-93, May 2094:

In late 2022, a surge of posts on early social media site Tumblr (2007-2029) appeared discussing a film entitled Goncharov, supposedly directed by Martin Scorsese and with a tagline that called it “the greatest mafia movie of all time”. While references to this film exist on movie review sites such as IMDB (1990-present) and Letterboxd (2011-2036), they all appeared after the creation of the earliest posts discussing the movie on Tumblr. Despite the fact that Goncharov appears to be completely fictional, Tumblr users collaboratively generated a cohesive narrative for the movie including characters, themes, and story beats (Figure 3). The vast majority of these elements were communicated through the creation of fictional analysis, discourse, and memes reflecting the popular modes of discussing media on Tumblr during this time period. In Figure 4, a post from user “lesbiancousingreg” references in a derogatory manner fans of Goncharov who ignore the deeper meaning of the film in favour of focusing on “shipping” the various main characters together, a common complaint in online fan spaces at the time (Aiken et al. 2091). Exemplifying the ways in which the self-referential nature of Goncharov’s creation was used by those participating in it to hold up a mirror to themselves in a form of light-hearted self-parody.

[randomspagetti]

Rebaked!Au

:pp

Basic story:

The witches rebaked Elder Faerie because having one sole continuous guardian is far easier than it switching up, but one negative to this process is loss of memories.

Okay so the longer version :p:

Dark Enchantress was able to remember everything when she was rebaked due to her not undergoing the special processes the witches have, which is basically a more formal process. When you are truly rebaked you're completely crumbled into a mixture with an accurate measurement of new dough with the same exact ingredients and completely remade.

This is done to make sure there's no missing parts or cracks that can reappear. It completely cleanses the crumbling dough both revitalizing the lost body and the mind. Because you are completely broken down and remolded you don't retain any of your memories.

Elder Faerie is left on earthbread with one duty. To protect the seal.

But there's one small issue.

What seal?

Elder Faerie is left to wander beast yeast all alone, soon to stumble across a certain silver kingdom 👀

And now some discord excerpts!:

Knight: do....do you remember anything before your time in the forest..???

Ef: uh...hmm not really I suppose... I do remember some witches but that seems unimportant-

Mercurial: you w h a t.

Ef: it seemed irrelevant.....

Silverbell: IRRELEVANT?!??!??

Mercurial wondering if witches could reanimate the dead: 😰😰😰😰

-----------------------------------------

Ef: wow those sudden lights in the sky are really bright, I wonder how they work....

Mercurial passing by doing his rounds for the party and seeing his definitely dead king right there:

-----------------------------------------

Amnesiac Elder faerie gets held hostage by his own kingdom (lovingly)

-----------------------------------------

Anyways that's all- feel free to ask questions lol

[iwriteasfotini]

Major Jegulus Fluff and Sap

323 words of excerpt below my little commentary.

Feeling generous and just so impatient to share the more mature years of the story. You all don't know it yet, but I am a sucker for super sappy Jegulus. Like so sweet it might turn your stomach. Just wait...

What I'm posting versus what I'm currently writing and editing is like two different worlds. So here is some of a future installment which hasn't even been announced yet. O.o

Reg POV, sixth/seventh year

...

“Yes, I love healing with you.” James walked to the toilet and started to pee, Regulus left the door open as he walked to the kitchen. 

They lounged about, James telling Regulus stories. Then Regulus told a few of his own. He told James about the night they met on the astronomy tower, how he was already head over heels for Sirius’ best friend, James Potter. How James had grabbed his hand and Regulus felt truly seen by someone for the first time in years. 

“I used to take certain routes between lessons because I’d cross your path,” admitted Regulus. 

James laughed, “didn’t people think that was strange?”

“I was usually alone, no one even noticed. Including you.”

James gave him a mild look, “I started falling for you the day we crossed paths on the quidditch pitch. You were such a snarky little bitch. I loved it.”

“I saw you on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters when I was ten. You were running through the crowd laughing and I thought you looked so free.”

“I was so nervous my first day,” said James. “I covered it all up with exuberant behavior.”

“Does that imply you are actually an anxiety ridden wreck and cover it up with general arrogance?”

“Aṉpu,” said James, hand over his heart, “of course I’m an anxiety ridden wreck. Half of my heart is walking around outside of my body.”

“You know how it feels then?”

“To see you and feel like I was holding my breath. To feel my heart restart when I catch a glimpse of you across the great hall. To know that I’m the only one who knows all of you. Yeah Reg, I know how it feels.” James wove their fingers together.

...

I mean is this cruel to share knowing the work isn't going up on Ao3 for a year... SO MUCH to share before then. Including all those little moments the boys alluded to. ;-)

Check out my pinned post for more info, currently posting year one of this epic series!

iwriteasfotini on Ao3

PS My beta reader (and partner) who is cis, straight, white, and mid-thirties says my Jegulus scenes often invoke eyerolling for him. "Here we go again." Fuck yes, here we go again. And again. And again! Never too much sappy Jegulus. XXXXXXX

PPS It should speak volumes he's willing to plow through those lovey dovey Jegulus moments for everything else I'm bringing in this series. Brace yourselves people, shite's going to get real!

[outlanderanatomy]

2024 SiWC Panel with Diana Gabaldon

Greetings Outlander fans! My, I have missed you all… 🤗

This weekend I find myself in beautiful Surrey, British Columbia,  Canada, attending the Surrey International Writers’ Conference, more commonly known as SiWC!

I drove from Oregon to Canada lastThursday. It was a beautiful day but the  normally 5.5 hr drive turned into nearly 7 hours due to two collisions in Washington state.  Yes, it was an inconvenience for those on the freeway, but I was grateful to arrive safely and I hope those involved in the crashes are OK.

Thus far, I have attended several events featuring Diana – she is one busy lass! All were delightful and I will share them with you, but not in chronological order mostly due to the technical issues of posting via  iPad. 😉

Today’s event was titled “Compelling Expositions,” a panel featuring Diana Gabaldon, Michael Slade, Robyn Harding, and Darren Groth (not shown).  K. C. Dyer moderated (also not shown).

Diana looked stunning, layered with in a deep red shawl because the room was freezing! 🥶

Many fruitful topics were covered by the panel. Here are some highlights including Diana’s responses:

Question:  Which is your fav scene from your writings? Diana chose the scene from “Outlander” book wherein Jamie rescues Claire from Black Jack Randall’s clutches. They shelter at a tavern –  Jamie tells Claire he is not ready for bed and proceeds to whip her with his sword belt. This set up a major clash between the two characters because each POV was justified from their perspective. Claire was trying to find a way back to Frank but Jamie knew her actions put all of their lives  in danger. I must confess, this choice surprised me. I suppose because Diana has written so many splendid scenes. How would one even choose? 🤔

This is wee bit of the excerpt from the scene (pp. 249-250 “Outlander” Kindle version) that is Diana’s fav!

“Come to bed, Jamie. What are you waiting for?”

He came to stand by the bed, swinging the belt gently back and forth.

“Well, lass, I’m afraid we’ve a matter still to settle between us before we sleep tonight.” I felt a sudden stab of apprehension.

“What is it?” He didn’t answer at once. Deliberately not sitting down on the bed by me, he pulled up a stool and sat facing me instead.… 😯

Question: How do you deal with pacing? Diana responded that pacing depends on context. For example, if there is an emergency then the writer wants to keep sentences short and terse. Pacing allows the author to create tension between two elements. A question is raised and then answered to move the story forward. (Psst…. She didn’t mention that sometimes the answers to questions she raises don’t get resolved until two books and ten years later!) 😂

Question: How do you deal with slang or dialect? Diana feels dialogue is the most important way to define a character.  An author using another language (e.g. Gaelic) needs to educate themself in the language. She watched films with Scottish characters to hear their spoken English. At conferences, if she heard anyone speaking with a Scottish accent, she invited them for coffee and listened to them speak. Diana also recommended reading books written by someone who speaks the language. She read several Scottish authors to help her get a feel for syntax, cadence, etc. Frankly, her devotion to her craft is a splendid example to all aspiring authors. 🥰

Question: Do you plan out a chapter or scene ahead of time? Diana does not. We already know she doesn’t write in a straight line. She also does not tell her characters what to say or do. She waits patiently for them to speak to her.  This being my fourth SiWC, I can tell you hers is a unique approach. Most writers I encounter plan out scenes, many even work from  a classic outline. She also doesn’t know ahead of time how a book will end. I guess the one exception here is that she seems to know how the “Outlander” books will end. Sob! 😢

Question: Who is your favorite author. James Clavell, she answered without a moment’s hesitation.  Clavell authored the marvelous, “Shogun,” for those who might not know. Although it has been some time since I read it, it is well worth doing so. 👍🏻

These were highlights of the panel for me.

The full panel discussion can be accessed on the blog.

I hope you enjoyed the panel. Need I say, my fav author for “Compelling Exposition” is none other than Diana Gabaldon? 🤩 🥇 🏆

The deeply grateful,

Outlander Anatomist

Follow me on:

Twitter: @OutLandAnatomy

Facebook: OutlandishAnatomyLessons

Instagram: @outlanderanatomy

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Youtube: Outlander Anatomy

Photo and audio credits: Outlander Anatomy

[notchainedtotrauma]

I've written a public essay in which I'm working out the way Black women and Black girls perform their sexuality in public landscapes. This essay references Megan Thee Stallion and her orchestrated abuse, Delainey Hayles as Claudia Du Lac in the TV series Interview with the Vampire and the Black woman as jezebel, amongst other points. Since this essay is public, to profit from it, I would appreciate anybody this essay deeply exalted to tip. Pp: ccd4t@virginia.edu

The moving gifs above best visually sum up the essay. Here are some excerpts to whet your appetite:

To be overdetermined by their flesh is a narrative running through Black women and Black girls. The gaze is othering, glassy and blotting. Many a day Black girlhood and womanhood appears a ghostly dot of excessive meat, a haunting blotted carcass. It strains towards the biblical Jezebel, the queen mother whose cruel sinfulness had her cadaver crushed up by wild dogs, as was prophesied by Elijah. Insofar as biblical Jezebel goes, she is murderous, sly and luxurious.

and

But Megan Thee Stallion floats through the world of anime and video games, with cosplay, references, and player technology soaking through her aural and visual performances. The rapper manages to insert within the playful and fantastic universe of the gamer a sexuality that is at once theatrical, hilarious, and self-referencing. Megan Thee Stallion isn't Jezebel, but Menat. What's more exquisite than two bad bitches ?

and

On stage, she becomes sexless and almost genderless, the little girl she is registering more as a an impossible child than as a gendered character; she is funny at the expense of herself. Lulu is scripted within the grotesque of the minstrel show; a high uppity Black girl that must be subdued with the violence of the hammer and the nail. She doesn't exude the menacing sexuality of the Black woman, as she's punished before growing into it. Claudia Du Lac's subsequent speech brings forth the misuse of the signifiers that burrow her flesh, and the constant vertigo to which she is therefore exposed as she must celebrate her pain.

[archinform]

Rosehill Mausoleum stained glass windows

Rosehill Cemetery, Chicago, Illinois

There are about 38 Tiffany stained glass windows in the individual crypts of Rosehill Mausoleum, most of them commissioned between 1912 and 1930, according to Jack L. Bradley (the mausoleum opened in 1914). There is an online census of them here. From time to time, on my visits to the mausoleum, I photograph several of the windows.

John G. Shedd Memorial window

Detail, center panel

Illustration from Booth, A.L., "The Mansions of the Silent." Fine arts Journal, 1916.

Bradley, Jack L., "The Tiffany Windows of Rosehill Cemetery." Association for Gravestone Studies, Fall 1994, p. 14

Excerpt from Booth, A.L., "The Mansions of the Silent." Fine arts Journal, 1916.

Other stained glass I photographed recently in the mausoleum:

Skylight over the John G. Shedd Memorial chapel

Links to sources:

Booth, A.L., "The Mansions of the Silent." Fine arts Journal, Vol. 34, No. 6 (Jun. - Jul., 1916), pp. 265-274.

Bradley, Jack L., "The Tiffany Windows of Rosehill Cemetery." Association for Gravestone Studies, Fall 1994, pp. 13-14

Link to full AGS issue

Tiffany Census, Rosehill Cemetery, Community Mausoleum, Chicago, Illinois

[uwmspeccoll]

It's Feral Friday!

If Special Collections were compared to a National Park- a thoughtfully curated, accessible experience of the wilderness of the natural world- where would its edges lie? What would be considered off the beaten path, how would its boundaries be defined, and in what ways would the landscape beyond those boundaries inspire our imagination and broaden our conceptions of the world and our communicative capacities?

That’s the realm of pluralistic inquiry explored by Feral Fridays, a new weekly post where we’ll feature items from our collection like zines, experimental book arts, independently produced poetry and other unruly materials that exist at the margins of publishing and literary traditions.

Let’s get Feral!   

--Ana, Special Collections Graduate Intern

Images:

That Way Issue 1, Spring 2021

That Way Issue 1, Spring 2021, pp. 23-24 (excerpt from interview w/Erma Fiend)

Thing Issue no. 3, Summer 1990

Re: Creation by Nikki Giovanni, Broadside Press, 1970

Aquarius Rising by Ben Fama, Ugly Duckling Presse, 2010

excerpt from Ugly Duckling Issue 6, October 2003

Lynch by Inch: an interview to Ali Khalid Abdullah 2003

Blue Horses for Navajo Women by Nia Francisco, Greenfield Review Press, 1988

Mildred Pierce Issue 3, April 2009

The Match! Number 97, Winter 2001-2002

[myceliumelium]

The Thrall Children of Himring

A continuation of this here, with the help of @apocalypso-36 with Elrond, and @animeandbooksarelife who created itty bitty beastie.

Correspondence between Lord Elrond of Imladris and Lady Idril of Dol Amroth

Scholar Idril, I am an attentive reader of your works, especially when my own name comes up in it. I am writing to you now to inform you of an error you made, in referring to my blessed late brother, King Elros Tar-Minyatur, and myself as the 'Thrall-Children' of Maedhros Feanorion. I strongly believe I speak for both myself and my beloved twin when I humbly beg you edit your works to instead refer to us as his 'foster children'. While the conditions were far from ideal, and there was no shortage of problems with our relationship, he and Maglor Feanorion took care of us to the best of their ability. Thank you for your consideration. Lord Elrond Peredhel, Herald of High King Gil-Galad, Bannerman of Lindon.

My lord Elrond, I would like to start by profusely thanking you for taking a moment to correspond with a humble scholar, such as myself. As for the error you mentioned, it is no error at all, for I was referring to Maedhros’ apparent tendency to take in the children of escaped thralls or young escaped thralls themself, if they found themselves in need of shelter. I have only found two of these children ever referred to by name, the first named Ruinmir and the second only ever referred to as levain or little beast, but there is substantial evidence that they were not the only ones. Though I see now that my phrasing was confusing and I should reword for the sake of clarity. Though, now that you have opened dialogue, I find myself compelled yet again to ask if you would be willing to shed some light on certain details, as we seen the confusions that may come from working without the invaluable insight of people such as yourself. With admiration and hope of continued dialogue, Lady Idril of Dol Amroth

Excerpts of “On thralls and their lives in the north-east of Beleriand” by Saelgol of Lothlorien

“The greatest thrall communities were indeed centered on and concentrated around the fortress of Himring. Census data recovered from the ruins on Tol-Himling explicitly marks out it’s thrall populations, in a similar way to how they denote other elven cultures. Thralls are identified much the same way as the vanya, noldo and sinda populations. Though they enjoyed an additional measure of acceptance within Maedhros’s lands, does not mean they were considered a culture of their own right, rather than outcasts, living along the fringes of elven territories.” pp. 17

“Heavy policing of thrall communities was a common enough practice. Many lords feared that they were a threat to public order, “bringing back from angband barbaric practices and dark ghosts in their hearts”(Helcariel) such as bloodsport, a musical tradition named “night howling” by outside observers, and post-mortem cannibalism of their dead. These practices shook Exiles to their core, though Maedhros himself is said to have been disturbingly unbothered by it, which only added to his orcish reputation.”pp. 48

“Parentless children were a distressingly common sight amongst thralls. Often their caretakers had gone to great pains to smuggle them from the cursed land with no consideration for their own escape, or had been killed in the arduous trek. Others still were given mercy deaths at the hands of their brethren as they were too far gone to survive outside Angband. As a result, many children arrived alone into the care of thrall communities.” pp. 69

“Lord Maedhros was often noted to take in these children. Some of the very few written records we have from the hand of a thrall comes from a village chief, who wrote to Himring saying “We have two more mouths that we can feed, otorno. Two boys and a girl. The young boy and the young girl are desperately ill and we do not think they will survive, but the elder boy is healthy, he says his name is Ruinmir, and that the two younger are his little beasts.” And about a century later, we have records of an elf named Ruinmir Aldion, working in as a scout for Maedhros, and listed to have a dependant recorded as Levain, which I have verified is not a proper name but an epessë roughly translating to “Beastie.” By the accounts we have, the lord Maedhros fostered them both personally, though he never adopted either of them in earnest.” pp. 70

[radical-revolution]

What is the secret of happiness? Russell's answer —

”The secret of happiness is this: Let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.”

Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (1930)

” ... the world may be plunged in war, knowledge in some direction may be hard to achieve, friends may die. But pains of these kinds do not destroy the essential quality of life.”

The Conquest of Happiness (1930) by Bertrand Russell pre-dates the modern genre of self-help popular/philosophy by decades. This work presents Russell's rationalist prescription for living a happy life, mainly the importance of cultivating interests outside oneself and the dangers of passive and base pleasure. The Conquest of Happiness (1930) is often cited as one of Bertrand Russell's most accessible and favorite books.

Excerpts The Conquest of Happiness (1930) by Bertrand Russell

━━

”If you are happy, ask yourself how many of your friends are so. And when you have reviewed your friends teach yourself the art of reading faces make yourself receptive to the moods of those whom you meet in the course of an ordinary day.

A mark in every face I meet,

Marks of weakness, marks of woe

says William Blake. Though the kinds are different, you will find that unhappiness meets you everywhere.”

— Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (1930), Part I. Causes of Unhappiness, Ch: I, What Makes People Unhappy?, p. 9

”The secret of happiness is this: Let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile. The world is vast and our own powers are limited. If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give. And to demand too much is the surest way of getting even less than is possible. The man who can forget his worries by means of a genuine interest in, say, gardening, or the life history of stars, will find that, when he returns from his excursion into the impersonal world, he has acquired a poise and calm which enable him to deal with his worries in the best way, and he will in the meantime have experienced a genuine even if temporary happiness.”

— Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (1930), Part II. Causes of Happiness, Chapter X: Is Happiness Still Possible?, p. 140

”I was not born happy. In adolescence, I hated life and was continually on the verge of suicide, from which, however, I was restrained by the desire to know only more mathematics. Now, on the contrary, I enjoy life; I might almost say that with every year that passes I enjoy it more. This is due partly to having discovered what were the things that I most desired, and having gradually acquired many of these things. Partly it is due to having successfully dismissed certain objects of desire — such as the acquisition of indubitable knowledge about something or other — as essentially unattainable. But very largely my current happiness is due to a diminishing preoccupation with myself.

Gradually I learned to be indifferent to myself and my deficiencies; I came to centre my attention increasingly upon external objects: the state of the world, various branches of knowledge, individuals for whom I felt affection. External interests, it is true, bring each its own possibility of pain: the world may be plunged in war, knowledge in some direction may be hard to achieve, friends may die. But pains of these kinds do not destroy the essential quality of life, as do those that spring from disgust with the self.”

— Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (1930), Part I. Causes of Unhappiness, Ch: I, What Makes People Unhappy?, pp. 18-9

Image: A rather cheerful Bertrand Russell in his private study at his home in Penrhyndeudreath, Gwynedd, United Kingdom (1959).