#power of complete forgiveness
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Actually going insane over the implications of Jason asking Dick to be the Robin to his Batman in Battle for the Cowl.
Like I initially took it at the purely surface-level of Jason wanting a partner in the general sense. Which made sense, it's a huge responsibility and a lonely one so an assistant/sidekick/partner seems a no-brainer if you can get one.
But then I really thought about it, because Jason is not asking Dick to be his partner in the general sense; he's not even asking Dick to be his Nightwing. He's asking Dick to be his Robin.
And they both know exactly what Jason means: "Be the light to my darkness. Be the smile to my scowl. Be the hope to my fear. "
He's saying "Be 'Robin'; be the embodiment of Love and Justice and Goodness. Be the exceptional person that you have always been. Be the slightly-less exceptional person that I was when I wore your colors. Be the person that I was in the process of becoming and might have been (or might still be), if only Joker hadn't clipped my wings."
He's saying "I am prepared to become vengeance, become the Night. And I will go further than Bruce ever dared to, because it is what is needed. I will be the necessary evil. But you don't have to be. If Batman is Gotham's curse, Robin has always been its blessing. I will be the brutal punishment to our world, and I am asking you to be its incandescent gift."
He's saying, "Be for me, what we were for Him. Be my anchor, my comfort, my hope. Remind me what it's all for, why it's all worth it. And remind yourself as well."
He's saying "Be 'Robin' again--for both of our sakes."
#dick grayson#jason todd#battle for the cowl#jaydick#dickjay#kinda but also not kinda#batman#dcu#otp: be my robin#'we can rule together as just it always should've been with you as my guiding light and conscience'#is that not in essence; a sort of marriage proposal ?#well no but it's not NOT one either if you catch my drift#i should note that i haven't actually read bftc yet and i know it's considered controversial/bad#and considered ooc for pretty much everyone#so i am not even sure if I will like it#but i am still planning on reading it for the jaydick crumbs#and b/c i am using it and knightfall as the primary inspo for my krisnix au#apparently jason does ask tim to be his robin first and that's interesting as well#but honestly a little less powerful/interesting to me at least since jaytim just doesn't interest me as much as jaydick#and honestly i've looked at the panels and it seems a little more genuine when jason asks dick idk#more like 'last chance; i'll let you live if you join me' for tim vs. 'join me because this feels right' for dick#and honestly even with clumsy execution; just the narrative and emotional richness of this scene is still making me absolutely feral#this arc could be complete trash in any and every other way but if it gives me THEMES; i will forgive anything#it's the former english major occupational hazard#*apollo justice voice *: I'M FINE#(narrator voice: she was not in fact fine)
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"Stone, exterminate them all!"
"Yes, your highness!"
Stobotnik Week Day 6: Anime AU
(If they were in Code Geass >:))
#stobotnik#stobotnik week#please forgive me late completing the prompts sob#<3 <3 <3#agent stone#anime au#dr robotnik#jimbotnik#robotnik doesnt even need geass but he got it anyway cause it looked cool and hes all about gaining power#my art#code geass
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the hitch in van helsing's words when he says "i beseech you" im going to cry for real this time. it's not even simply that he knows how important it is that he gets arthur to trust him, that he's conscious of their duty to all living souls and lucy herself to do this to her and how difficult this will be physically and emotionally. it's that arthur now distrusts him, cries at him in anger - arthur, the man who looks like his lost son and whom he loves because of it. the man whose love and respect he may now never get back after suggesting mutilating lucy's corpse. he isn't just desperate for all the men in that room to trust him so they can give lucy peace and keep the living safe. that's the sacrifice of his father's heart splitting in two right there. wtf alan burgon.
#alan burgon owns my fucking life fr every time i think it can't get better and then he's on the next ep and it's like#*holding my heart in his hand* if i squeeze like this i can wring every single emotion you've ever experienced out of you all at once#i had to pause then relisten then pause again b4 continuing#of course arthur forgives him in the end! but vh doesn't know that while he's suggesting this!#he goes up to arthur and suggests cutting off the head of his fiancée and he has to completely depend on his powers of persuasion#(which are off the charts but that's neither here nor there)#what if arthur didn't want to come. he'd only be able to do to lucy what has to be done by dishonouring whatever trust arthur has left#and in any case arthur would always think him mad and awful and never forgive him for anything#i am back on my vh bullshit (i was never off it) yes im being overly dramatic abt it. don't care.#dracula#dracula daily#re: dracula
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recent zant moments (he’s taller than ganondorf in my mind i’m sorry)
#tloz tp#twilight princess#zant#ganondorf#i’m not very familiar with their HW dynamic forgive me asfjgjkjhf#but the whole entire thing they have going on in TP is so. oh my god good god#worshipping a guy who is inhabiting u like a parasite so he can feed on your intense hatred & rage#you receiving the immense power & freedom you’ve always craved in exchange#both of u being completely defined by ambitions that make you extremely dangerous in the eyes of others#and in general#also the guy whose soul you’re carrying in you. he said the gayest shit ever to you about Desire when he JUST MET YOU#and then you divorce him so hard thru your soul bond from the afterlife that he dies. i cant
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part of the process of learning to take responsibility for your actions is learning what things you can't take responsibility for. not just to protect you (e.g., from your own feelings of guilt; from people taking advantage of your willingness to take responsibility by attributing blame to you unfairly), but because to take responsibility is not just to say "it was my fault and i'm sorry" but to actually do things (to make amends and to mitigate and prevent future harm), and if you don't understand what to take responsibility for, you aren't going to understand how to take responsibility.
there is a lot that's outside of your control. people put a lot of emphasis on forgiveness in a way that i think is missing the point. being forgiven is not my priority. my priority is that i am doing what it is in my power to do. i can't control how that's received. i'd like it to be received well; i'm doing what i'm doing because i want to repair harm that i have caused to another person, so it matters to me if what i'm doing is actually achieving that goal or not. but there's only so much that i can do to achieve that goal, and if i'm doing it, and the harm is not repaired, that's okay. that's beyond my control. i have to make my peace with the fact that i've caused harm to another person that is not resolved, because i'm doing what i can and i have to continue living on this earth, and in continuing to live i'm going to be living with the fact of that unresolved harm. the most important thing at that point is for me to use my knowledge of the specific ways in which my actions harmed that person to change my behavior going forward to avoid causing that harm again, to the extent that that's within my power.
it doesn't do anyone - you or the people you have harmed - any good for you to assign responsibility to yourself for things that you can't control. if you're going to attempt the active work of repair and change you have to first identify what it's possible to repair and change. you can't actually repair a relationship all by yourself! you can only change your own behavior. you can only offer amends to the other person that they may or may not find sufficient. not to go all serenity prayer on you but guilt for the sake of guilt just makes you feel way more powerful than you actually are (because you think that everything happened because of you) and at the same time completely incapable of exercising your power (because you don't understand what your power actually is). to effect change you have to focus on the things you can actually change. focusing on the things you can't change is a problem not just because it's taking your focus away from the things you can change, but because it means you don't actually understand the sphere of your own influence. you're operating under what is essentially a self-centered worldview in which you could make everything better, you could prevent all harm, if only you were trying harder, if only you were a better person. who does that serve? it doesn't reflect reality. it makes you hate yourself and feel sorry for yourself at the same time, and it doesn't actually improve things for the people you harmed. it doesn't help keep you from harming people in the future, because you don't understand the territory and the limits of the causal relationship between your actions and other people's reactions to them.
you can only do what you can do. what you can't do, you can't do, and you can't take responsibility for doing, either in the past or present. after you realize that there is harm to repair the next step in the process of repair is to ask yourself what your responsibility is for the past and what your agency is going forward. everything else will follow from that. you simply cannot skip that step.
#this is so hard to think about and talk about because it's so nebulous. it's comforting to have some hard and fast rule instead#'take responsibility for the harm you have caused' sounds good but what does it actually mean?#you are responsible for your harmful actions. you can't be responsible for the actual feelings of other people#it obfuscates what you can actually do. which makes you think that you are both all-powerful and#powerless to make amends or change#but adding any nuance to the discussion just sounds like apologism. and could easily be used by bad actors (e.g. abusers)#to justify their completely insincere attempts to apologize and change#accountability#responsibility#restorative justice#guilt#learning and growing#apology#forgiveness#wow i have a lot of tags relevant to this haha#my posts#you can tell i gave up on sleeping and got out of bed because of the absence of typos which means i have my glasses on#fare thee well to my theoretical night of restful sleep. hello day before me that i have to navigate on three hours of sleep and#terrible head neck and shoulder pain :/
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relating to your reblog.. no one actually gets beetee i fear. minus you mostly. but the consensus of him being a chill tech guy and not in part a mass murderer both in the arena and in the rebellion & also pretty morally grey in a sense? yknwwww. yknw!
yes yes yes. all do this yes. he’s morally gray. it is so obvious he is morally gray it is practically written on his forehead. his morals are definitely questionable. that is so obvious and yet…
at this point i think i need a therapy session simply so i can rant about other people’s interpretations of beetee. because. do you even understand him. did you even read the trilogy. like i don’t even know what to tell some of you at this point except that you just don’t get him like i do.
#dayne answers#like this is getting in very headcanon-y territory real quick but…#he does have complicated feelings about the fact that he killed people.#at the end of the day he doesn’t believe he was completely at fault. at the end of the day he does believe that the violence was warranted.#and yes sometimes it was. but at the end of the day the man is not a good person.#just because he’s my favorite character does not mean i think he’s a good person!! because he isn’t!!! like at all!!!!#and this isn’t only about his kills outside of the arena. he did everything in his power to survive. he killed other people’s children.#certain people in panem will never forgive me. this doesn’t haunt him. he doesn’t think about it most days.#this is why he has a complex relationship with the other victors. they don’t get it. he’s practically numb to it now. they are not.#he seems heartless to them. and maybe he is.#very poetic ending but seriously. he’s not a great person all in all.#this is what i meant when i said victors as complex characters btw.#anyways. glad i didn’t scare you off kitty with my last answer to your ask lol.#sorry for once again hijacking your ask.#thg#the hunger games#beetee latier#dayne’s beetee tag
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its been like. nearly a year (How.) already but i cannot lie theres Still a part in the back of my brain occupied with and being thoroughly entertained by the way that childes confirmed 4.0 complete self-awareness over waking up the narwhal at 14 recontextualizes some key liyue things leading to some very funny self indulgent scenarios in my head
like yes chili is old news its basic please excuse me for predictable popular ship crimes (do NOT however associate me w the crimes of fanon against their actual range. theyre peak to Me) but i just keep replaying the imagery of zhongli and childe back on their homoerotic Professional Working Relationship bullshit where their flirting passed the jkjk unless treshold of even remotely plausible deniability like 8 exorbitantly priced business dinners ago and theyre just like. doing that whole song and dance now neither committing to a move except zhonglis presently feeling moderately conflicted (but nonetheless fairly unfazed at) by the prospects of actually developing some sort of a thing for the harbinger hes supposed to puppet master into executing the major story climax of his 67-step retirement plan bc he turned out to be quite the strangely charming ginger specimen (to His weird fucking 6000 year old tastes at least. they deserve each other) with some fascinating life ambitions he cant help but be enraptured by.
but because hes still 100% Locked In on his entire plan zhonglis also just . simultaneously dual wielding his coy-ass "i like you and am taking it slow to Savor this developing relationship (Also bc of the Geo Archon Shaped Elephant In The Room) except am old as shit so my languid sense of time inadvertedly Automatically turns my behavior into an equivalent of the dark souls boss of playing hard2get" act (cue "waddup im ajax 24 and im in fucking agony with this hot funeral consultant". Yes they live like this) AND also meticulously theorycrafting like 12 moves in advance for his 6d chess play of leaving the most subtly crafted trail of breadcrumbs behind for the tsaritsas 11th to follow into the intended & completely "Coincidental" idea of unleashing the one particular sealed sea deity that zhongli Specifically wants momentarily released for his sweet 6k retirement party and graduation test for the nation hes helicopter parented for 3.7k years .
like. this is zhongli we r talking about the guy Absolutely has it planned out down to a fucking art like he has an entire branching path dialogue tree planned and memorized like its a visual novel for every possible way he can conveniently namedrop osial in a non-suspect way and also that he just happens to be sealed right over there across the harbor (what a coincidence!) and also to slip in the intel about the latent power of the sigil of permission etc etc. like zhonglis just out there doing all this massive galaxy brain computational work simultaneously while infodumping on an academic level about whichever subject childes latest random comment of amicable small talk happened to remind him of because in his helicopter parent in remission mind its Absolutely Critical that the idea about releasing osial occurs Completely organically in childes mind it Has to he Cannot risk revealing anything . (hes in remission not in recovery guys.) so like here we are. he requested notes from the tsaritsa Personally on the character of her 11th just to ensure every move was painstakingly crafted to draw him Specifically to the intended conclusion without risking revealing his true identity .
except. the thing . neither he. nor the tsaritsa . would have been informed of . is that this simply isnt childes first fucking rodeo waking up an eldritch city sized sea creature . and he is very well aware of this fact . he woke that beautiful wonderful beloved huge fucking narwhal up by himself had his brain chemistry Immediately and Irrevocably rewired as a direct consequence do you fucking think hes somehow stopped thinking about that singular moment for even a second since then???
yeah . thought so.
so what actually ends up happening in reality is theyll be on another definitely-serious-business-not-just-a-date and zhonglis going to get down to like dialogue selection part 10 of the 86 step conversation tree at Most where hes only beginning to like Vaguely allude to the key pieces of information involved but it turns out Because Hes That Guy (TM) And Has Been There Done That Before childes basic pattern recognition and sense of irony simply proceed to kick in Way ahead of time and hes Immediately perking up like Hey wouldnt it be really fucking funny if i wake up an eldritch sea beast Again . like just in case. as a last ditch effort .
and zhonglis just sitting there seeing the gears turn in his head as they enjoy their cringe fucking picnic (bc they just stare at each other intently like that nowadays its a thing. being in a room with them by this point is essentially a human rights violation) and is just completely fucking flabbergasted and lost on how in the hell childes speedran his way to that conclusion at what amounts to barely a 13% completion rate in his whole overkill fucking plan (just 1 of 3 contingencies btw) and its like yes he has his intended outcome but also precisely 0 idea on how the fuck said outcome was reached the way it was this fast . like hes still winning its His plan thats well underway and ahead of schedule but How
(pov: ur selling the concept of waking up destructive sea creatures to the guy who woke up a celestial body eating cosmic whale at 14)
anyway its truly beautiful i absolutely detest these two and have prime liyue AQ hijinks nostalgia now thank you for the lore drop that allowed this to become canon in my head hoyo
#im sorry for completely out of nowhere ship posting dude idk where this came from . i had to get it off my chest ig . runs away#chili my dearest i miss em . theyre the most normal business partners to lovers dynamic to me NO drama whatsoever they just#happen to be insane fucking people and thats why it ends up weird . but relationship wise. bland as SHIT they just get along well#drama?? betrayal?? angst?? NO. 1 spar and childe forgives instantly we all know this to be true#theyre so fucking basic as a couple bc both of them being as weird as they are just ends up canceling out#bc neither is unnerved by the insane shit the other comes with . and they just like. date normally . and make a semi-open committed ldr wor#they simply civilly agree not to bring up the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Religious differences .#6k yo highly suspect god known for signing NDA with celestia dating guy intent on torching the fucking place personally like .#'we make it work despite our differences 😌'#and the known self-admitted heretic if it gives him power looking to conquer the world just#'oh no need to Rush the agenda after all im still busy getting stronger 😊 in time watch tf out tho <333 youre so sexy aha'#dont listen to bland tropey fanon guysss listen to me they could be so fucking peak. they Are to me#altho childe pairings are so weird to me now being a true narwhal truther. theyre all basically a love triangle to me now LKWDJKWDKJWDKJ#like listen. they could be in love they could be the same entity they could be opposites. nemeses. platonic soulmates. romantic rivals. idc#BUT whatever the fuck they are i want them together please thank uuuuuuuu so like. added hysteria factor to any other ship w ajax .#hes still fucking cheating on his narwhalllll on all levels. romantic. platonic. cosmic. unphased by any attempts at defining their bond#with mere words. what are they??? no clue. still cheating. no i dont explain my poetry often. theyre simply everything to me xx#how do i even fucking tag this man its not rly childeposting worthy is it....#and im not abt to risk breaching containment in the chili tag.........................#guess its just#genshin#rambles#lmaooo wjkdwkjwjkdjkdw
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As much as I love playing embrace Dark Urge runs (discussion in therapy pending), there's something so narratively satisfying about how a Resist Durge playthrough can go once you get to the Bhaal Temple. Your character steps into the ring with Orin, it's intended to be a duel, but odds are you're getting eviscerated pretty quickly. You then switch to one of your other characters in your party and throw an attack, effectively breaking the duel and setting the whole temple upon you.
(Adding a cut because this ended up being longer than I thought)
But, I think it's a very satisfying way to play. Your party members have grown fond of your Durge, seeing them as a friend, a family member, even a lover. They've watched you and your pain over your Urge and what it makes you do or want to do. Maybe you've slipped up once or twice, but you've been trying so hard to be the hero they know you can be, that Faerûn needs. So, when it comes time to finally face your demons and you're getting so horribly hurt in the process, they can't help but rush to your defense. It'll put all of them in danger, but it doesn't matter because they want and need to help you, their ally and companion.
Bonus points if you select your character's romanced companion as the savior/duel interruptor to make it extra delicious. They've fallen in love with you, stayed with you when your Urge craved their blood the most, maybe by this point in the game you've helped put their demons down as well. They see you in pain, a final valiant effort to overcome your Urge against the power of Orin, a whole cult, a god of murder himself. They want to protect you, save you as you saved them.
I'm also fond of the extra beauty of Astarion being your Resist Durge romance since it puts the two of you in very similar situations. Fighting against the will of your masters, finally defeating your demons with your newfound companions' help and being offered the greatest power you could ever fathom... only to deny it, ignore power in favor of your party and your love.
This isn't even mentioning just how goddamn good the Withers resurrecting you cutscene is. This skeleton in your camp with unknown and unfathomable power (also apparently supposed to be Jergal himself if I've done my research properly?) is able to bring you back to life, free of your Urge. The line along the lines of "Bhaal could only destroy what of you that he knew, but because you've grown past your Urge and become your own person, he couldn't destroy that new growth" is just so weirdly powerful narratively. Tav may be a default character for you to create upon making a new save file, but Durge is the canon protagonist and I think that entire scene shows it the best. It's a beautiful secondary climax of the narrative (primary being battling the Netherbrain of course).
And, perhaps it's just an oversight on Larian's part or something that'd be a bit difficult to work into the cutscenes mechanically, but I think that it could only get more impactful if your companions could comfort each other during these moments. Everyone and their mother wishes you could hug Astarion after he kills Cazador, but also imagine your romanced companion cradling your body after Bhaal kills you. It seems just a little odd that they all (meaning your party) kinda just stand around staring at your corpse, especially with how close y'all have gotten.
Idk, I have a lot of thoughts about this section of the game in this particular type of playthrough and some of them are hard to articulate into words. It's just such a damn good narrative peak and can really make you feel things.
I've completed I think two resist Durge runs and just hit this point on my third and it really stuck out to me this time (then again my new antidepressants are kinda fucking with me so that might be playing a role). I left it as my last mission before dealing with the Netherbrain and I think it helped build the anticipation of that moment. Everyone else has been helped by you, and now it's your turn to come into your own. I really felt so connected to my character walking into the temple, feeling like everything has been building to this, that regardless of what happens our suffering will finally end. And you have your party there to help you in your time of greatest need as you've done for them.
There's a reason this game was Game of the Year, the narrative is just so powerful and the replay-ability is just insane. I've beaten this game ten times, heading for my eleventh and it truly just never gets old and never fails to make me feel so many things so strongly.
#we're gonna bypass how i have the withers big naturals mod installed#because it kinda undercuts the moment when withers comes in to resurrect you and he has these massive honkers#i'm a big fan of embrace durges since it's a great way for me to let loose without real world consequence#(my anticipation for patch 7 grows daily of course)#and it's also just fun to be your worst self and create the fucking legion of doom with your party#you'll never beat the sheer power of an evil durge/ascended astarion/dark justiciar shadowheart/minthara team up#I AM FULLY AWARE I AM SINNING WHEN I ASCEND ASTARION AND IT PAINS ME EVERY TIME BUT I LIKE EVIL NARRATIVES SUE ME#but a resist durge run makes me feel so many more things#helping shadowheart with her family helping astarion learn to be his best self free from cazador lifting the shadow curse among other things#plus everything I mentioned in the main post#and then the final crescendo of the score at the end of the epilogue party cutscene is a HUGE chills moment#although i will always be mad that in order to keep gale from ascending you have to make him seek forgiveness from mystra#she should be apologizing to him wtf no wonder i accidentally ascended him so many times him#gale telling her to shove it just MAKES MORE SENSE and is the healthier thing to do but it gets you his fucking bad ending wth#okay i suppose him blowing himself up is his bad ending but whatever#apparently him exploding the netherbrain can get you the win for honor mode and as someone who can't even get through balanced mode#you bet your sweeeeeet ass i'm not above sending gale to blow himself up to avoid a run ending fight if i got that far#honor mode is not about getting the ending you want it's just about completeing it and dude there's no way in hell i'll get close otherwise#i'll shut up now#fishgills speaks#fishgills plays bg3#bg3#baldur's gate 3#the dark urge#bg3 durge
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people would understand armanlou a lot better if they were familiar w marriages of convenience. hard to see it as any other. starts off a flirtatious courting turns into a threat of social exile (at best) and/or death (think of the child. stay for the child.) then a hard won fumble at companionship you think you can endure -- before long you are forced to, with little idea of the extent of your agency. it's literally an arranged marriage w domestic violence
#like what is ''love.'' the husband has power over you and he expresses remorse and he's better than the marriage you made for love.#or so you think.#of course you stay of course you let him lick the wounds and make up for something you can never forgive. its marriage its just what you do#you are grateful for the protection.#blogging#to clarify obviously in the interview when it starts + upto its middle louis does believe he loves armand despite being unable to forgive#and that armand is good for him and to him. of course he believes it. but the evidence erodes that belief completely
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the thing is. i’m a proponent of samdean starting precanon. not always but in a lot of contexts i like it. it just makes so much SENSE. the reason they act Like That in the first episode. deans constant nostalgiaing about wanting things to go back to the Way They Were Before. two teenagers kept continually isolated from the world (in terms of being unable to build lasting connections) sharing a room in a motel their whole life their only model a guy who’s excellent at blurring lines. but their age gap is 4 years that’s a lot for teenagers. immediate insane power imbalance. icl in any form of weecest sam is a victim on some level no matter how you spin it
#idk like on one level i dont like weecest because of this. like it will alwaysss have that fucked up undertone to me you cant get rid of tha#sam is 4 years younger than him which is a lot for teenagers and dean has soo much authority over him. the power imbalance is impossible to#avoid. there is no weecest which isnt partially grooming. and my issue w this is not that i dont believe it#because i completely do. and in some ways it just makes soodoooo much sense to me. the deference sam still has to dean in canon even when#theyre 36 and 40. the way hell forgive anything. obviously there is more than that but i can’t think on it rn#tldr hendricksen was right#anyway my point was. if i’m thinking about wincest as ~omg so romantic!! i rlllly dont like fixating on weecest and instead prefer to think#it happened spontaneously in s1/2. (s2 is peak romance…….)#but normally i dont view sam and dean like that at all. they’re an abusive relationship. so i dont find it hard to believe that they started#off in a way that neither of them fully realised was Messed Up at the time but completely was#samdean
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#ok so I fucked up somewhere in the alphabetical order list oops#will u forgive me *sad wet dog eyes*#also if you're not super duper obsessed with jjba like I am and forgot this Stand was even a thing and don't remember what it does#(completely reasonable btw)#it creates illusions. that's it that's the power it creates illusions#specifically we see it create illusions on architecture but who knows maybe it's not limited to that#anyway pass from me#tenore sax#stardust crusaders#jojo's bizarre adventure
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wait oh my god the new anni lillie is just a palette swap of the old one? this actually sucks why did they do that
#clai speaks#i love lillie i'm not mad she has another alt i was just annoyed it was a second anni one#but i dont have 2021 anni lillie so i didnt remember what she looked like off the top of my head and didnt realize the new one is the SAME#if it was a whole new outfit it would have been fine. why are they doing that#at least she's free?? you only need to complete an event and you get her right#arc suits i can forgive being similar to the base outfit bc i think thats the point. its just arceus adding powers to someone#like how it upgraded the arc phone. its just the same thing with arceus-themed flair. thats fine idc#anni lillie. what the hell#anyway i think thats all my thoughts on the pokemas anni announcements so far i'll probably stop now ����#i am still excited to see where the story goes but i cant deny the units are. questionable BRJBFJFJ
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SCREAM. this girl I used to be friends with but also not really because she was fucking vile to me & everyone around me messaged me on my birthday after 4 years of silence & has been super nice to me since. & on one hand it's like ohhhh we were friends I know I was your closest friend I know you had nobody else I know you trusted me and I know I actively deceived you by staying as your friend knowing I didn't like you so I feel guilty & maybe youve become a better person now so maybe i should forgive you. but ON THE OTHER HAND you actively bullied everyone around including me, would forever criticise every appearance or thing said, made me cry throughout most of our friendship and would actively scare me by forcing me into dangerous situations like trying to crash your car whilst I was in it and couldn't leave because you were so mentally ill and i never felt safe in your presence but also you'd repeatedly tell me i was the only thing stopping you from killing yourself & its like girl whaaaattttttt do u want from me now WHY are u being so nice NOW in a way you never were when we were friends ??? its been four years like SCREAM
#what does it mean ????#i am...admittedly erring on the side of forgiveness and perhaps accepting that shes a better person now and has changed#like im not foolish enough to think shes above change or incapable#but i do also wonder if its my guilt at completely cutting off contact with zero warning & with complete premeditation thats guiding me#like do i actually want to forgive her or do i just want to be forgiven 🧐🧐🧐 many thoughts. i shall not ask 🤡#(also shout out to that time we were in poland and she threw up on my bed as a fucked up power play and forced me out of our shared room)
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Tolkien’s specific sense of misogyny is so funny to me cuz like he clearly knows that women are often very, very cool and writes all these cool women characters. like galadriel and melian and eowyn. but like his writing is always so damn selective about when he remembers these women are cool (or like that they exist at all). And coincidentally these women always seem to stop being relevant or important or any sort of non-passive the moment theres a quirky little dude to pair them up with.
with the exception being, obviously, luthien, who gets a million times cooler the second she has a cute little damsel in distress to run after. (and also that eowyns whole shtick actually works and aligns with the themes of the novel)
#tolkien#like i get that galadriel isnt a warrior and shouldnt be written as one#but how you really gonna have her as like the last bitch standing whose been to valinor#and is therefore the most powerful elf for most of lotr#and still completely forget about her at every oppurtunity#and ill never forgive him for what he did to melian#tho it does kinda fuck that shes like the ominous voice haunting the narrative in the background#but also like maybe tell your husband hes doing fumb shit before he does it#or better yet DONT LET HIM DO IT ALL#like thingol lowkey is responsible for most of the shit that goes wrong in the latter parts of the silm#and melian who is like the only reason he has power at all#the threat behind all his dumb decisions#is just sitting there while he does this shit like doot do doo#leans over to galadriel#pssst hes gonna regret that#not to mention her lame ass death
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I really don't want to make this a political blog, but there is. A big difference between "Neither of the major parties are on board with my values"/"I have criticisms of everyone in the political sphere"/"the political system is inherently flawed, I wish we had better candidates to pick from" (or even, "Wow, there is so much on both sides that really sucks! No one here is a particularly great person!")<-all of which are fair and things I actually do agree with, and "Both sides are, in every single way, on every single issue, literally completely the exact same."
#if you say the second one I think you are stupid. sorry.#is2g if That Guy gets elected again I am never forgiving any of you who have said this#He! Will! Be! Worse!!! On!!!! Literally!!!!!! Every single issue!!!!!!!!!! Including and Especially the ones you care about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#voting is not meaningless shut the fuck uppppppp#if voting were meaningless then protesting would ALSO be meaningless yes? but y'all (rightfully!!!!!) think we should keep protesting#(and I agree!!!! we SHOULD keep protesting!!!!!!!!!!! a shit-ton!!!!!!!! about everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)#which suggests that you don't actually think both parties are the same and equally immovable. but it DOES suggest that you#want to absolve yourself from having to do literally the bare minimum#no voting won't magically fix everything no shit. but I have not seen ONE pro-voting leftist say that we stop at voting. EVERYTHING#I have seen (and WHAT I!! AM ALSO!!!! SAYING!!!!!!) is that voting against That Guy is the FIRST STEP. and then we keep working afterward!#yes. it sucks. I hate that this is where we are I hate that every single time it's We Have No Great Choices I HATE IT TOO. JUST AS MUCH AS#EVERYBODY ELSE. but I still think I have a duty to the people whose lives will be saved by ensuring a Certain Guy doesn't get the presidenc#like someone will call me a neolib imperialist shill or something probably but I think if there's a guy who wants to be a dictator#and strip the rights of literally every marginalized group (including those who live in countries the US does foreign policy with or#insists on exercising influence over) then making COMPLETELY SURE THAT DOESN'T GET INTO POWER is the moral decision here.#if you're gonna come on this post and scream that I don't have An Accurate Grasp Of The Situation then save it. I'm not interested and I#will block you. if you hate the fact that I'm going to grit my teeth and vote for a democrat for the sole purpose of making sure T**** can'#hurt people again then guess what you don't have to ever speak to me again you can just leave.#ugh I gotta go to my SECOND doctor appointment now. WHICH I WILL NOT HAVE INSURANCE FOR!!!! IF HE GETS ELECTED!!!!!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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FRUITY HC PROMPTS / @hypnoticallycaucasian / ACCEPTING .
🍎 : how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?
||. WELL , Link sure does have retrograde amnesia. . . . I'm not kidding about that diagnosis , and he definitely should go to therapy,but to actually answer the question : Link ...exists on a perpetual on a scale, and it always depends on "what time period of Link are you asking about", because the answer will change depending on what he does and doesn't remember.
Link before the Calamity (specifically: before the sword) would have been relatively stable. Outside of being a teenage boy with an extreme sense of duty and pressure to perform, he wouldn't have to contend with much. Healthy home, healthy mindsets, healthy life. It's when he pulled the sword and began to shut his emotions down to be a "reliable hero" that some problems would have begun to manifest. In my headcanon : dissociative episodes (+dissociative amneisa &. subsequent fugue) run congruently with his rising stress levels , and are a related but separate issue to his originally-self-imposed selective mutism.
Link is a slow emotional processor. He thinks through his emotions and takes time to sort them out. (Mostly because he really doesn't get bothered by a whole lot.) But when he's "on duty" or otherwise needed... he doesn't feel himself allowed to take the time to sort it out. Not during, and often not afterwards until well later, either. And then only when he's on his own. In Link's world, it's act first, think (and feel) later. ESPECIALLY when all eyes are on him.
At some point in his development into "Knight Link" (which imo was cemented well before he was actually appointed as Zelda's personal knight), Link's solution to a wealth of emotion without any time to process it all was to focus solely on the physical task at hand, whatever that may be. It ... doesn't shut down the emotion spurring the stress... but he can act. He can do something to stave it all off or fix it while it's happening. Face it head on, and quickly. Unfortunately ... even this isn't always possible in his profession. And this mind vs. heart endeavor is a taxing one. As such, if Link is unable to tackle the issue and fix it, he will rapidly begin to deteriorate into a dissociative episode. Specifically dealing with depersonalization. If the stress continues, Link has a tendency to completely emotionally/mentally black out during these periods. (aka: dissociative amnesia). He'll either seem to be completely spacing out, or completely zeroed in on a task from the outside looking in. (It's caused problems and some serious one-sided arguments with his mother before.)
In some conjunction with this, canonically, Link has been known to voice his inner thoughts and feelings less and less over time. By the time he was appointed to Zelda, it's noted that he barely spoke at all. While he is entirely capable of speech, when he undergoes high stress levels, it can become difficult for him to find the words to voice himself freely. (Now, it is worth nothing that Link is naturally a pretty quiet individual (imo even his voice is on the naturally softer side anyways). Link not talking does not automatically mean he's stressed out. But sometimes there is an inherent inability to speak even if he wanted to.)
All of this is true of Amnesia/Post!Calamity Link, although the triggers are different. Post!Calamity Link struggles a lot more often with depersonalization, derealization and dissociative amnesia + fugue, especially the more he comes to remember his/Hyrule's past. Part of that is due to stress, part of is trauma, and part of it is from just barely cheating death/the reincarnation cycle through the Shrine of Resurrection.
#(honorable mention as usual is his survivor's guilt even tho that in itself isn't a disorder)#(the good news abt the survivor's guilt is link is genuinely grateful to be still kicking and he definitely won't waste his 2nd try)#(but there's always going to be a part of him that's keenly aware that he was /DYING/ and should be all means be dead)#(and that in his place not only are the champions dead where he's still alive)#(but so. many. others. lost their lives. and that's unforgivable to him — granted i think he blames ganon completely. as he should)#(he doesn't blame zelda or her powers and he will strangle anyone who ever dares insinuate it's her fault - and w zelda he will bop her.)#(and i wouldn't say he blames himself but i do think he holds himself responsible at least for not being able to hold out long enough-)#(-after zelda's powers awakened in her. like. if he had just stuck it out even a couple hours.... a couple days to hold the line...)#(for link it's a “what were you doing wrong” @self regarding wielding the master sword's true power)#(combined with “why couldn't you have been stronger” + “why AREN'T you stronger” + “will you ever be strong enough”)#(....which sadly isn't entirely hc that's in the game and only helped by the DLC's trial of the sword QvQ)#(and anyways link DOES count himself incredibly lucky and he is eternally grateful to zel + co for saving him)#(....at the same time he'll eventually come to think of all the people left behind that never got a chance to say goodbye)#(he doesn't get to say goodbye either but the difference is //HE SHOULD BE DEAD// so yknow it's fun it's fine)#(he won't let it be in vain but =4= he haunts himself and that never entirely goes away imo. it gets better! but never fully leaves him)#「 headcanons . 」─ hero of the wild .#「 answered . 」─ letters .#「 ooc . 」─ 999 koroks my ass .#(forgive my rambling about this probably saying the same thing a hundred times over but dbnsajkdbsak)
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