#pov: against the kitchen floor by will wood as i cry on the bathroom floor cuz song is a banger and perfect for mental breakdowns

[capt-zjaybird]

[trashcanfanfics]

Request from @zebra0909zebra

"I loved the Valentino fic you made about the actor may I request one about Val either getting jealous of the readers ex trying to get back together with them and if he would just shoot them"

First off, thank you! I really enjoyed writing that fic! I'm glad you liked it!! Second, I can already see where to take this! And I'm excited

It's gonna be in Val's pov

Valentino and Y/n were walking along the hallways to the recording studio when an out of breath intern ran up, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"Ah, Mx. Y/n! Someone left these for you in the lobby!" They handed Y/n the flowers, acknowledged Valentino, and then ran off again. They looked at the flowers, their favorites. A note amongst the foliage. The continued walking, Val being concious of his steps so they wouldn't have to rush to keep up with his long legs.

"Did you get me flowers again, Boss?" They grabbed the note and opened it. Val felt his blood boil and chest tighten.

"If I did, I would have sent them to your home," he chuckled, slightly annoyed. What kind of rude do you have to be to send such things to a workplace. Shameless. They hummed and read the note aloud. At this point, they both had stopped outside the studio.

"'To my dearest love, holder of my heart, I love you, signed E/n.'" There was a heart drawn underneath the message, Val noticed as he leaned down to look at the note. He memorized the name for later. Y/n sighed in slight annoyance. "It's my ex, (pronoun) has been texting me nonstop and giving me little gifts and it's getting irritating." Val let out a chuckle, his smile growing impossibly wide with malice.

"I do those things, too, you know." His smile was strained but his voice was light and playful. Y/n opened the door and they both went inside. He wasn't mad at them, never, but rather the flowers. Those pissed him off. Who did this shithead think (pronoun) was?!

"Yes, but you're my boss. I can't refuse those." Their tone told him he was joking, but he couldn't help the slight sting at those words. Their boss...That's all he was to them. He shoved those thoughts aside, ignoring the ache in his chest.

"You could, if you wanted to." He leaned down at the waist to look them in the eye, putting on a facade of amusement. he wouldn't let them be upset before the shoot, it makes their expressions all wrong. No, he would stuff down these emotions so they could focus on their work.

"'If I wanted to' my ass, you don't take 'no' for an answer." They laughed as they waved their hand to dismiss the thought. His gut twisted at the sound of their laughter. How beautiful that sound was! He loved it. He hummed in response, still slightly distracted by their laugh.

"That's true, babycakes." He stood up straight again and moved over to the cameramen. He began telling them the angles he wanted to acheive with this. Val always did this before any of the actors' shoots, but mainly Y/n's. He needed them to look their best no matter what, any unflattering angles are cut from the final product. Once everyone had understood, the scene began, Val watching over the entire thing, making sure it was all perfect, and ignoring the strain in his pants.

~*~

The video ended and Y/n, having put their clothes back on, got a call. Valentino watched as they picked up and spoke into the phone.

"Yes, I got them...No...I know...I don't care." They rolled their eyes and looked at Valentino. Y/n mimicked shooting themselves and he smiled and laughed lowly. "Listen, I'm at work right now and need to get back to it. Bye." They hung up and tossed their phone into their bag before zipping it up.

"Was that your little admirer?" Val couldn't help the bit of venom his his question. This cheeky shit was walking all over Val's territory and he hated it. They nodded with another eyeroll.

"Yes, (pronoun)'s so annoying! Like, we broke up MONTHS ago, ya know, get over it already." They slung their bag over their shoulder. "And besides, (pronoun) broke up with ME, like, come on!" They shook their head in exasperation. Valentino remembers the day the break up happened.

He hated the asshole back then, too. Y/n dating shocked him into realizing he was in love with them. He carefully bided his time, however, patiently waiting for Y/n to eventually break up with the loser. Unfortunately, it was the other way around and Y/n had come into the studio with puffy eyes and tears running down their cheeks. He doesn't remember why he didn't kill the bitch then, but he does remember holding the crying sweetheart with three of his arms while the fourth brushed through their hair. How soft it felt and how the ache in his chest worsened when they looked up at him with tears and explained what happened. And now (pronoun) wants them back?

Not on Val's watch.

~*~

Valentino saw to it that Y/n got home safe (and to make sure there weren't anymore gifts waiting for them) before he rolls up the window on the limo and gives the driver the location of E/n.

Earlier, he had some people find out where this scumbag lived so he could pay the little shit a visit. His connections didn't disappoint.

The limo stopped outside a little house. Normal, quaint. A white picket fence around the place, and rose bushes planted under the windows. The house, he noticed on his way past the gate, was a pretty mauve color, not too dull, not too bright. Y/n must've enjoyed this house when they visited. It suits their dream of a peaceful living. The door was a creamy pink, the knob a lovely bronze. Maybe he would buy this piece of property and give it to Y/n after he had it cleaned of all the blood that was going to spill.

He could see it now, him coming in the front door, just like he was now, a smile on his face. Y/n would be reading one of their little thriller books on the couch over there, though it'd be a different one. The furniture in here was tacky, white couches? That's just inviting a mess. Valentino shook his head, continuing with his fantasy, walking into the place. He'd have the ceilings fixed higher so he wouldn't have to crouch, they would greet him with that pretty little smile. The book would be set aside as they stood to come give him a welcome home kiss. He sighed at the thought of their soft lips against his.

Yes, he decided, he would buy this house and give it to his little babycakes. They deserved to have a lovely house than that dingy apartment anyhow. He made his way towards the hallway, having little interest in the kitchen. The hallway, like the living room now that he thinks about it, was full of framed pictures of E/n and Y/n. None of the pictures have Y/n's real smile, just the one they use for their acting, real enough, but once you see the true one you can easily tell the difference.

The bathroom and guest rooms were overlooked in favor of the master bedroom. It had the same tackiness the livingroom had. White sheets to match the loveseat and arm chair. Awful. The wood was even a brightly polished makore wood that looked orange in the light. Yes, the furniture would have to go. He made his way over to the closet, maybe find a few skeletons? The opened door revealed a collage. They were all pictures of Y/n from various angles. Ah, he thought, a stalker. It was a good thing Val had decided to take (pronoun) out before things got out of hand.

Speak of the devil, the nusiance walked through the front door. Valentino smiled viciously as he made his way quietly back down the hall. E/n went to the kitchen, no matter, (pronoun)'ll be out soon. He sat down on the loveseat facing the front window, lifting his feet onto the coffee table, and pulled out a cigarette. The smell of burning tobacco must have alerted the stalker, as he walked out to see Valentino let out a puff of red smoke.

"What the fuck?!" (Pronoun) dropped (pronoun)'s items, which happened to be a glass of apple juice by the smell. How childish. Valentino stood, pulling the cigarette from his lips.

"Hello, E/n," he puffed out more smoke from his pink teeth, "nice to finally put a face to the name." His chuckle was anything but friendly. It intimidated the pathetic demon, Val could tell. Good. He took another puff.

"Uh, hey..." E/n trailed off while staring at the tall overlord, who blew out more red smoke. A visible gulp would have given his fear away if the look in his eyes didn't already. "Wh-what's up?" Val could almost respect the way (pronoun) tried to keep talking, as if (pronoun) did nothing wrong.

"Oh, Y/n sent me. They say you've been sending them flowers, little gifts." He stepped closer, threateningly, putting the cancer stick back between his teeth. "Apologies, phone calls, love notes, promises you couldn't possibly keep." Val stood in front of the creep, towering over the quaking being with a cruel smile, smoke still floating off the cigarette.

"O-oh? Uh..." The attempt was almost laughable. Val leaned down, his lower right hand reaching into his coat to pull out his pistol as he blew more smoke into E/n's face, causing him to cough and gag. The lower demon's eyes follow the movement and grow wide at the sight of the weapon.

"And," He pointed the gun at E/n's head, "not to mention that collage on the inside of your closet door, how charming." Val's smile became a sneer, ashes falling off the cigarette. (Pronoun) whimpered as the gun pressed into E/n's forehead.

"What are you-what are you gonna do to me?" The question was so stupid, Val almost burst into laughter right then.

"Normally, I wouldn't give a damn what you would do to my employees as long as they were able to still work. However, you chose to fuck with my favorite actor." He breathed out the last bit of smoke, putting out the butt on the asshole's arm, making (pronoun) yelp in pain. "So, I'm going to just kill you." and with that, he pulled the trigger. Blood, brain, and bone exploded from the back of the fucker's head , splattering across the wall and kitchen floor. Valentino stood up as much as he could. He really needed to fix these ceilings.

"No one fucks with my favorite."

[steviespanties]

Since Steve’s parents are out of town so often, he and Billy have a habit of hooking up at Steve’s place. Steve’s room is nice and all, but Billy has a thing for fucking Steve in his mom’s bed;; ((HI I LOVE YOUR ACCOUNT AND YOUR STORIES THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH MASTERPIECES💖💖))

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH AND ALSO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS!!! (This sent me down an interior decorating rabbit hole trying to figure out what Steve’s mom’s bed- and then her own room might look like😅😂 Please imagine a layout similar to this, but with another window on the other side of the bed for more light. The ‘sofa’ and bed look a lot more like this, but the colors and style are more similar to this and this room.) 2.2k words, rated E. Steve POV, some manhandling, some frottage, some rimming and dirty talk. Anal sex. Ya know. My usual.

Steve’s parents have a big enough house (and are rich enough) that his mom has an entire bedroom for herself. She calls it her boudoir, because it’s where her walk-in closet is and where she keeps all her fancy makeup, lesser used jewelry and perfumes. There’s a massive four-poster bed with floor-length drapes matching the curtains, a chaise lounge, a vanity, all in creamy white and bathed in warm lamp light. 

Before he gets together with Billy, Steve doesn’t even think about it’s existence. It’s just another empty room, after all. The most he sees of the house are the entrance, kitchen, living room and the walk upstairs to his bedroom with his own bathroom. Hell, sometimes it slips his mind that he technically lives in what counts in Hawkins as a mansion.

Billy, however, becomes obsessed with the ‘boudoir’ in particular. 

The first time he's supposed to really stay over, not just crash in Steve’s room and fuck him into his bed at 3am, he steps through the front entrance, whistles after a survey of the hallway and goes “Aren’t you gonna show me around?”

“Yeah, sure. Just take a pair of house shoes from over there.” Steve gestures towards the shoe rack in question and Billy’s expression goes from amused to disbelieving.

“Seriously?”

Steve glares at him. “Yeah. Seriously. My parents put in new flooring over the summer and now everything has to look pristine for the two times a year they have visitors over.”

It's such an unnecessary, stupid rule to enforce all of a sudden when Steve has rarely worn shoes around the house anyways. 

He’s barefoot when it’s warm outside and leaves his shoes by the front door to change into thick wool socks during the cold months. And somehow, his parents still have found a new way to make him feel like he’s walking on eggshells in his own home.

Still, he watches Billy sullenly take off his shoes with growing amusement that gradually lightens the bad mood Steve’s gotten into just thinking about it. He figures he can give Billy a quick tour of the house and then order pizza. Watch a movie, fuck in an actual bed instead of getting each other off in the cramped backseats of their cars.

What happens instead is that Billy spends a ridiculous amount of time dragging Steve through his own home. He looks into guest rooms. Shoves his nose into cabinets. Looks out of windows like he’s staking out the neighborhood. (Woods. The neighborhood is mostly woods.)

“What are you, a spy?” Steve jokingly asks when Billy lifts up a painting to peek behind, like he’s looking for a safe. Billy scoffs, all mock-offended. But Steve can see a hint of a blush form on his cheeks. Gotcha. It’s kinda sweet how curious he is about the place, even if his main complaint is that it “feels like a show house.” Steve doesn’t have the heart to point out that he’s not too far off.

It’s when they step into his mom’s room that a predatory glint enters Billy’s eyes. “Ohh, is this where Mama Harrington sleeps?”

“Yeah. Sometimes. She wanted a room to get ready ‘in peace’. I’m pretty sure she just wants to drink prosecco in peace.” He watches Billy’s fingers trail over the fabric of one of the creamy white curtains framing the window. They part and his rings glint in the sunlight he’s suddenly bathed in. When he turns back around his hair is lit up gold and frames his head like a halo. Steve licks his lips. The fun thing about dating Billy is that he not only matches Steve in terms of libido, but seems to have a sixth sense for the moment Steve’s thoughts get distracted by his gorgeous everything.

Or maybe Steve just isn’t very subtle.

That glint in Billy’s eyes turns into hungry laser focus. Sets him into motion until he’s all pressed against Steve, a hot line of unrelenting muscle pushing him closer to the bed until they tip over and onto the mattress. Half hidden by more curtains hanging from the canopy. Sunlight follows them.

White teeth flash in an easy grin, quick and sweet, and then Billy’s lips are on Steve’s. His body weight pushes Steve into the creamy white bed cover and the air out of his lungs in a huffed laugh. Underneath him the texture of the blanket- distinct raised ribbing- digs into his skin. Billy’s hands dig into his hair.

The slick heat of Billy’s mouth and his thigh shoved between Steve’s legs is intoxicating. Makes it impossible to form a coherent thought when his focus narrows down on Billy on top of him, curls just long enough to fall down and tickle Steve’s face. He makes the most delicious sound when Steve grabs his ass and pulls him closer, till their hips are lined up just right. Steve pulls. Billy pushes. Like a conversation in a language purely made of heat and pressure, hitching breaths and choked moans. Against his own growing erection, painfully trapped in his jeans, he can feel Billy fill out as well. The pleasure is maddening. Enough to make Steve feel a burst of wetness pulse from his dick into his underwear. Enough to make him roll his hips up, searching for a better angle.

“Billy,” he sighs, not sure what he wanted to say afterwards. Just enjoys saying his name.  

“We’re wearing too many clothes,” Billy complains in response, like he picked up whatever thought Steve dropped in the minuscule space between them. They break out into a familiar flurry of limbs and discarded clothes. A condom packet and a small bottle of lube make it from Billy’s discarded jacket onto the comforter next to Steve’s head. He snorts.

“You sure you weren’t a boy scout at some point? Feels like you’re always prepared to get your dick wet.”

Billy rolls his eyes, fond smile belying his annoyance. “Shut up. Turn around.” His voice has taken on that deep, rough tone indicating how much he’s turned on. Steve leans back instead, takes his dick in hand. Enjoys the rough drag of his dry palm when he drags it up in a loose grip. Just enough to tease.  Billy raptly follows the movement. “Maybe I will if you ask me nicely.”

Oh, he loves this game. Put up a token bit of protest when Billy gets bossy, until he gets impatient and starts dragging Steve around until he’s nothing but putty underneath his hands.

“Show me your pretty hole, babe. I won’t ask again.” 

Steve’s dick pulses in his hand. He watches Billy with half-lidded eyes. The way his muscles shift, getting ready to move. Hungry and powerful, like a big wildcat.

In the next second, he’s on Steve. Makes him gasp out an involuntary yelp when he easily flips him and drags him up by his hips. Until he’s on his knees, face buried in the bed cover and hot breath suddenly ghosts over his hole. There’s barely enough time to reorient himself before the scratch of Billy’s mustache and the slick warmth of his tongue press into his crack.

“Ah, fuck yes.”

He’s never done this before Billy. Not with any of the girls he fucked or dated. Not with Tommy, who he’s traded sloppy, shameful handjobs and blowjobs with. He doesn’t think he can ever get enough of feeling Billy’s tongue on his rim, swirling around until he’s dripping with saliva. Pushing inside where he’s sensitive, pressure and stretch of his hole making him squirm and push his hips back immediately.

It’s almost embarrassing how greedy he is for Billy’s mouth on him. His lips wrapped around his dick. His tongue shoved deep into his hole, held in place by those warm hands on his asscheeks. Holding him open so Billy can get even deeper, making him moan and drool into the blanket beneath him. It’s like a pulse, curls into him till his dick pushes out another spurt of precome and he can feel himself twitch, heavy and aching between his legs.

A slicked up finger joins Billy’s tongue. Makes the stretch just a bit more intense, but still so, so good. Billy only comes up for air when he adds a second finger. Steve can feel him rest his cheek on his ass, probably watching the movement of his fingers up close. He seems to have a thing for the sight of Steve’s rim stretched, his hole filled up and glistening.

“Gonna make you a complete mess in your mom’s bed,” Billy huffs into his skin. “Gonna make you cry and cream yourself all over her sheets.” He thrusts deeper and stretches his fingers until they tug at Steve’s hole and he groans with the ache.  “Better get going then,” he tries to taunt. It falls flat with all that desperation laced through his words.  The thing is, provoking Billy only gets you so far. Steve can tease him into impatience, but once he’s fully grasped control, he revels in it. Basks in Steve’s frenzied, futile attempts at irritating him. Like he’s had his chance, but the game is already won.

Steve doesn’t mind losing that much anyways.

“Just you wait,” Billy says fondly.

All Steve can focus on for a while is that glorious, slick movement of Billy’s fingers. The way he pushes in and out of him, stretches his rim and his insides, rubs over that spot inside of him that makes him frantically claw at the textured bed cover underneath him. Just long enough to make him whine and push back, pulse around a third finger that stretches him even wider.

At some point, when he’s reduced to a sweat-slick line of tightly wound pleasure, he finds himself empty. Barely registers the sound of a ripped open condom wrapper. Warm, humid breath over his spine that wanders up up up until there’s lips and teeth on his shoulder and Billy’s cock slowly pushes inside.

There’s a growing spot of drool-wet fabric his face presses into that swallows some of his moans. When Billy moves, satisfied sighs and barely coherent praises tumbling from his lips, Steve grasps the bed cover tight. 

Billy’s hips find a rolling, unrelenting rhythm. The drag of his cock is a drug Steve can’t get enough of. Dreams about, just as much as he dreams about the tight heat of Billy around his dick.

He wishes he could turn around and admire Billy’s flushed face. Hold him between his spread legs. Get lost in his eyes and dizzy from his freckles. But Billy’s weight on his back and his mouth sucking hickeys into the back of his neck isn’t bad either. He tries to hold himself up, tries to concentrate on carrying that weight on his back, but with each thrust inside it’s like his knees spread wider and his elbows sink down until he’s pressed flat onto the bed. And then his dick makes contact with the bed cover and gets pushed right into it right along Billy’s thrusts.

“Ah!” The moan is embarrassingly loud. Louder than any other noise he’s made so far. Of course, Billy picks up on it.

“You gonna be a good boy and blow your load all over your mommy’s sheets?”

“Shut- shut up, fuck.” Billy just laughs, voice shot to hell.

Even if Steve wanted to, he can’t escape that mouthwatering pleasure the additional drag of rough fabric against his dick provides. Because even if he wanted to try, he can’t pull away from Billy’s weight on top of him. His heavy, thick cock inside of him that holds him open and fills him up.

He comes with a sob. Pushes his face harder into wet fabric. Pushes his dick through his own mess. Pushes his hips back to meet Billy’s thrusts, even when it becomes just a bit too much.

Billy rests his entire weight on him when he comes with a deeply satisfied groan. Through their aftershocks, he buries his face in Steve’s hair and they rest in companionable silence.

It’s not the last time they end up fucking on that bed, no matter how many times Steve complains about the laundry with flushed cheeks.

...

Steve isn’t enough of an idiot to not understand that Billy likes to fuck him in his mom’s bed because he likes the conquest of a room that’s ‘forbidden’. He’s the same at parties, likes to sneak into rooms he’s not supposed to be in. Likes the thrill of doing something nasty with Steve in a place his mom will walk into and never even suspect what’s happened.

And Billy? Billy doesn’t want to admit it, especially not to Steve’s face, but... the way Steve’s hair looks against the creamy-white sheets in his mom’s bedroom? The soft yellow glow of light, the blush that spreads from his cheeks down to his neck, to his chest faster than it does anywhere else- it’s addictive.

The best part, the one they both like a little too much is what happens afterwards. When the raised ribbing of the bed cover has left indents on Steve’s face where it’s been pressed down. On his arms and knees. On his back, where only Billy can see and trace it for the rest of the night, reverent and sweet.

[nerdyfangirl67]

Forget About Me - NCIS Reader Insert

Pairing: McGee x fem!reader/mom!reader, Gibbs x reader (platonic/fatherly relationship)

Warnings: anxious reader, child lost and scared, fluff ending

Word count: 2k

Request: @gibbsandpridegirl​

“I was thinking that McGee and reader find out their expecting a baby, and Anastasia finds out and runs away, because she’s scared that Tim and reader won’t want her anymore, and Anastasia gets lost and is all alone, and Tim is in full panic mode, and Gibbs won’t rest until he finds Anastasia, and Gibbs finds her, but she refuses to go home, and clings to Gibbs”

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long @gibbsandpridegirl​ ! I changed it a bit, so I hope you don’t mind and I hope you love it! This is another part of my one-shots with Mcgee x reader with an OC child. 

Thanks so much for the request darling! (Also, I chose this picture because I thought it was cute, but you imagine Anastasia anyway you want to.)

You stare at the pregnancy test in your hands, shock rushing through you at the positive result. Despite your suspicions (your period had been late and you had put on a few pounds despite Tim dragging you to early morning defense classes), you hadn’t expected the pregnancy test to come back positive. You lean back against the bathroom countertop, a hundred different thoughts running through your head, the predominant one being that of how you would tell Tim and Anastasia. When you had married Tim, you hadn’t expected that you would have children anytime soon, at least not within the first few years of your marriage. And yet here you were, within the first two years, with one pre-teen and a baby on the way.

You stand up and hazily walk downstairs, the forgotten test still in your hand as you sit at the kitchen table. You stay that way, blankly staring at grain in the wood of the table until Anastasia walks through the door, followed shortly by Tim. Anastasia comes up and gives you a hug, which you distractedly return as your eyes meet Tim’s. He must have seen the bewildered look on your face because you see him catch Anastasia’s attention and quickly sign something to her. She responds just as rapidly before stomping her way upstairs.

“Ugh, one moody kid is enough.” You murmur as you rest your head against the kitchen table, a wave of nausea abruptly washing over you. You feel a hand come to rest on your upper back, the chair next to yours scraping against the ground as it is pulled away from the table. 

“Y/N?” Tim’s voice is gentle as he starts massaging the tension away in your muscles with the hand he has on your back. 

You wordlessly slide the pregnancy test out from under your arms and over to Tim’s other hand, which was resting lightly on the table. You don’t lift your head, fearing any look of disappointment or regret that might come across his face. Instead, a gentle finger lifts your chin until your eyes meet his soft green ones, which are sparkling with excitement.

“You’re pregnant?” His voice betrays his unbridled joy, barely restrained beneath the surface.

Seeing his reaction brings a smile to your face as you nod. His arms are suddenly sweeping you out of your chair and almost into his as he pulls you in for a tight hug. The hug only lasts a moment though before Tim is quickly standing up and, far more gently, letting you go. “Sorry Y/N. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asks in a frazzled manner as he closely looks you over. His hands float over you, lingering around your hips and abdomen, as if to assess the damage he may have caused by hugging you.

“Tim. I am not made of glass. You can still hug me.” You say, a firm undertone carrying your words. Tim gives you a sheepish smile before looping his arms back around you. You bring your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his collarbone as you rest your head on his chest. The two of you stay that way for a while, before Tim moves back enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“We’re going to have a baby. A little baby McGee.” He whispers, his excitement reflecting in his green eyes. 

You smile softly at his phrasing. “Maybe we should call him Tony, Tony McGee.” You joke lightly, a laugh bubbling up in your chest at Tim’s horrified expression. “I’m joking Tim.” You step back enough to press a soft kiss on his lips. 

“We should tell Anastasia. She’s going to be a big sister after all.” You say, taking his hand in yours as you move towards the steps. Tim is quick to place a balancing hand on your lower back as you walk up the stairs, making you wonder just how cautious and protective he would be when you were heavily pregnant.

You reach Anastasia’s room, the first door on the left at the top of the stairs, but find it empty. You look at Tim, a curious expression on your face before you walk to the bathroom. You find it empty, a feeling of fear seizing your heart as you do. You roughly push past Tim, rushing to check the spare bedroom, as well as the master bedroom.

“Anastasia!” You call, despite knowing that she can’t hear you. You barely wait to listen for her reply before you are calling her again. After not finding her in the master bedroom, you frantically start looking through the upstairs rooms again before scrambling down the stairs and to the rooms on the main floor. Each empty room leaves you feeling a little more hopeless. 

Tim finally stops you, with a firm set of hands on your shoulders, when you start to head outside to look for her. “Y/N,” he starts as you desperately try to get out of his grip to continue looking for her. “I need to find her Tim. I need to find her.” You say, tears distorting your vision as the fight leaves you. “I need-I need...” You taper off as it becomes harder to talk through the tears. 

Tim pulls you in close, wrapping his arms tightly around you. “I called Gibbs and he’ll be here soon with Tony.” You press your face into his chest, allowing his familiar scent to comfort you. The two of you hold onto each other for a while before Tim leads you to the kitchen table, helping you sit. You sit stiffly in the hard chair, staring at the wood grain of the table top as Tim putters around in the kitchen behind you. 

Tim slides a plate with your favorite snack in front of you on the table, snapping you out of your trance. “You need to eat Y/N.” He says quietly, sitting down next to you as you shake your head at him. “I can’t Tim, not when she’s out there, scared and alone.” You whisper, blinking away the tears as you look at him. He leans in close, wiping away a tear falling down your cheek as he leans his forehead against yours. He places a soft hand on your cheek, pulling you in closer to press his lips against yours. The kiss is comforting and reassuring, not meant to be seductive but to serve as a reminder that he was there for you.

Just as the two of you break away from each other, a loud knock sounds on the door. You scramble up from your chair, moving quickly to the door. Swinging it open, you find Gibbs and Tony standing on your doorstep. One look at Gibbs’ all knowing, ice blue eyes and you feel the tears coming back. As he steps inside, you impulsively hug him, needing to feel a kind of comfort you only ever felt around him. He squeezes you tightly as he whispers, “We’ll find her Y/N.”

After twenty minutes of going over the night’s events, in which you quietly admit that you had discovered you were pregnant only a few hours earlier (to which you are greeted with awkward congratulations, considering the circumstances), the four of you decide to split up and search for Anastasia. 

Gibbs POV:

Gibbs was tasked with searching your neighborhood’s park and the surrounding area. The park was less than ten blocks from your house, so he decided to walk. He kept a brisk pace, looking for her among the darkening features of the quiet suburban street and scanning for any possible signs of struggle on the way. By the time he reached the park, his outlook had diminished and his fear of a possible negative outlook had increased. His initial scan of the playground equipment and the outdoor pavilion does not uncover anything, which doesn’t help his current feelings. He still does a thorough search of the equipment, his hope waning by the time he reached the old wooden castle shaped play structure. A soft whimpering sound catches his attention and he follows it. 

Huddled in the small space at the top of the structure is Anastasia, her legs drawn in close as she rests her head on her knees, her arms wrapped protectively around herself. Gibbs knows she can’t see him, nor could she hear him, so he takes heavy steps, hoping she feels the vibrations of his footsteps, as he climbs the playground equipment. She lifts her head and he can barely make out the terrified expression on her face due to the growing darkness, which is only broken up by the low glow of the park’s floodlights. 

“Poppa!” Anastasia’s garbled cry comes as she stands up and runs to him, throwing her small arms around him in a hug. He returns the hug, a profound feeling of relief flooding over him as he did. He holds her for a few moments before pulling back. 

‘Your mom is worried sick Anastasia.’ He signs slowly, making sure she can see his hands properly as he does.

Anastasia shakes her head violently, backing away from him at the same time. ‘No, no. I’m not going back.’ Her signing is rapid and choppy, almost to the point where he misses what she was saying.

He gives her a quizzical look before asking her, ‘Why don’t you want to go home Anastasia?’ She starts to sign quickly again, her movements jagged as she wipes tears away from her face at the same time. He places a hand over both of hers, waiting for her to look at him before he signs ��Slowly.’ 

She takes a deep breath before starting again, much slower this time. ‘Momma and Papa are going to have a baby. They won’t want me anymore.’

Gibbs pulls her in for another hug, holding her close for a moment before moving back. ‘Anastasia, they are worried about you because they love you and will always want you. You are their child just as this baby will be.’ He signs.

Still Anastasia shakes her head. ‘I want to be with you Poppa. Please?’ Her signing is slow, yet still shaky as new tears form in her eyes. Gibbs wipes away a stray tear before pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

‘Anastasia, you can always stay with me, but you belong with your mom and dad. They love you just as much as I do.’ He stops a moment, taking her in before continuing. ‘If you ever need me, I’m only a call away and I will always let you stay with me, okay?’ She nods, taking the hand he offers her. Gibbs shoots you and Tim a text, saying he had found Anastasia and that the two of you were on the way back to the house. The walk back to the house goes by quickly, Anastasia clinging to his hand the entire walk back.  

Your POV: 

You hear the door opening and you rush to the foyer, your eyes searching frantically for Anastasia until they land on her. You pull her in for a tight hug, warm tears of relief rolling down your face. You trace the words ‘I love you’ on her back as you hold her close. Anastasia is stiff in your grasp for a moment before she returns the hug, saying “Momma” as she does. 

You pull back, sniffling out “Anastasia?” as you look at her. It was the first time you had heard her say the words and a feeling of joy courses through you.

You quickly sign in response. ‘Thank you Anastasia. It means so much to hear you say that. I love you so much.’ Anastasia lets out a small smile just as Tim comes around the corner. You take his hand, pulling him and Anastasia in close for a group hug. Even after the scare with Anastasia, you couldn’t feel happier. You had everything you needed with your family safe in your arms. 

[fruitcoops]

Hey so umm in your Talker pov fic it had a line where it said these pics made him sick so I had an idea! If you could do you think you could do a pic where the pics make loops physically sick or something?

Oof, it’s been a hot minute since I wrote legitimate angst. Someone else asked for prompt 22 from the mixed prompt list, so I incorporated that as well. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Prompt 22: “Everything is okay”

TW for throwing up/ dry heaving, forced outing, and lots of crying

Remus broke down just before they reached the car, crumpling against James’ side with a strangled cry as he unlocked the door. “Woah, hang on, buddy,” James muttered, pulling him back upright and opening the passenger side.

“They know,” Remus whispered as tears coursed down his face. “They know, they know, they all know.”

“I’m so sorry, Remus.” He pressed their foreheads together and handed him the seatbelt buckle. “Just—just hang on for me, yeah? I’m going to take you home now.”

James could feel people’s stares prickling the back of his neck as he started the car and drove out of the parking garage, doing his very best to ignore the horrible, gulping sobs coming from one of his best friends. “Everyone knows and he left me.” A fresh wave of tears slammed into Remus and he slumped against the window, burying his face in his hands. “He left me, oh, god.”

And I’m going to kill him for it. James ground his teeth. After I find him and make sure he’s alright, I’m going to chew him out for ditching you without a word. Then I’m going to hug him and never let go again. “Everything is okay, Remus.”

“No, it’s not. It’s not going to be okay, I’m gonna get fired and—and my parents are going to hate me and Sirius is going to hate me—”

“Sirius is not going to hate you,” James interrupted, taking Remus’ hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Then why did he leave?” Remus choked out.

“He got scared. That’s what he does when he’s scared.” I thought he was going to a girlfriend when it was you all along. “I’m so sorry.”

Remus didn’t appear to have heard him. “This is all my fault.”

“What? How?”

“I should’ve been more careful. It was my idea to meet up on New Year’s, and it was so stupid to think we could get away with it. Any of it.”

“Hey. Hey.” James glanced over for a half second before turning back to the road. “Remus, none of this is on you. You and Sirius should be free to kiss on New Year’s like everybody else without some asshole sticking their nose in your business. This is not your fault.”

“He trusted me, James.” Remus sounded fragile and sharp, like broken glass. “I told him I’d be careful. He trusted me with everything.”

“I know he did.” How could I have been so blind? “Did anyone else know?”

Remus shook his head, then paused and nodded. “Leo figured it out. Logan knows. Talker almost walked in once. Dumo—” he faltered. “Dumo was the one who got us together.”

“When?”

“November.” His lower lip wobbled. “Sirius’ birthday dinner.”

Months. They’ve been together for literal months and I never knew. “Jesus.”

His desperate clutch on James’ hand loosened and he looked over, pale and shivering. He swallowed once, twice, staring at James in sudden and paralyzing terror. “Are you—are you disappointed?”

“About what?”

“That I’m…that Sirius is—” He couldn’t even get the word out and James felt like he was going to throw up.

“No. No, Remus, I am not disappointed.” He fought the lump in his throat, lacing their fingers together tighter. “This changes nothing, okay? Sirius is still my best friend. You’re still my best friend. I am so proud of you for finding happiness with him and I will personally fight anyone who says differently.”

Remus’ whole body shook with silent tears as he gripped James’ hand like a lifeline. His palm was cold and sweaty, but James kept his grip and turned off the freeway.

“What this person did was wrong, plain and simple. The only thing I’m disappointed in is that I didn’t do enough to make you feel safe coming out to me, and that is not your fault either.” He took a side road to avoid the main streets of Gryffindor, following the path to Remus’ apartment building through muscle memory.

Neither of them said a word for the rest of the drive, but Remus’ gasping, cut off breaths filled the silence well enough. James parked on the street and got out of the car after a quick look around—from what he could tell, nobody else was watching. He had to practically carry Remus up the main steps and into the elevator, slamming the button for his floor as hard as he could, like that would make it move faster.

“Do you have a key?” he asked as they hurried down the hallway. Remus nodded and pressed it into his hand with trembling fingers; it opened, and they all but collapsed inside as James shut and locked the door.

“Excuse me for a second,” Remus said, eyes glazed over and face as pale as the moon. He walked steadily to the bathroom and closed the door; not three seconds later, the muffled sound of dry heaving came through the thin wood.

James grabbed a half-drunk waterbottle from the kitchen and knit blanket off the back of the sofa, then knocked gently. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” his miserable voice replied. James closed the door behind him—it wasn’t like anyone could follow them in, but it was the thought that counted. Tears continued to streak down his cheeks as his shoulders lurched, though nothing came up.

“Deep breaths, Re,” James murmured, rubbing his back in slow circles. “Deep breaths. You’re going to be alright.”

“It hurts so much.”

“What does?”

“Everything.” Remus’ voice was louder than before and transitioned into a cracking sob as he leaned against the bathtub and wrapped his arms around himself. “Everything hurts so much and I don’t know why.”

James scooted over and sat next to him, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders; Remus curled into his side, dampening his shirt with tears and snot. James could see his phone lighting up every half-second out of the corner of his eye and resolutely ignored it. There was one person and one person only whom he wanted to talk to right now.

“You should go see him,” Remus croaked, as if he read James’ mind. “Sirius—he needs you. He doesn’t say it often but he needs you.”

“I’m going to call Lily and have her come over. Are you cool with that?” When Remus nodded, he took his phone out and swiped past all his notifications until he reached the one labeled Lils.

At Re’s apt, going to see Pads. Pls come over and keep an eye on him asap. Love you

Mere seconds later, a response pinged: on my way.

He ran his hand up Remus’ arm to get his attention. The uncontrollable sobbing had tapered off into a vacant stare and the occasional wracking shudder. “Lily will be here in a few. I’ll stay here until she—”

“No. No, you have to go see him.” Remus blinked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “Please, James, just keep him safe for me. I can be alone for a bit.”

After a moment of deliberation, he sighed and rose into a crouch, taking Remus’ icy hands in his own and making eye contact with him. “Everything is going to be okay, Remus. Trust me on that.” He kissed the top of his head as he stood up, then hesitated at the bathroom door.

“Go. I’ll be fine.”

“Everything is going to be okay,” James repeated once more before walking back out and heading for the door. It’s going to be okay. They’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s not.

[wizardofrozz]

Put to the Test

Summary: Bucky and Roz dig up memories that open old wounds.

Warnings: swearing, past violence, trauma, pregnancy loss (!), angst

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

A/N: Please be aware there may be some triggering topics in this chapter (specifically pregnancy loss). Please do not read if this is traumatic for you!

Chapter 6: Hydra’s Weapons

After hours of searching, we compiled a file of everything that mentioned us. Bruce read through it, trying to spare Bucky and me the pain of reliving everything and made a file of everything valuable.

           “Okay, here we go. This is everything that can hopefully answer some questions. Are you guys ready?” Bruce softly asked.

           “As ready as we’ll ever be,” Bucky sighed.

           “You both arrived at the same Hydra base within a week of each other. There are records of the two of you talking through your cells, almost constantly. I guess that’s what gave your handlers the idea for what they ended up doing,” Bruce sifted through the papers on his desk.

           “I still remember your adorable southern accent. That’s why I kept you talking; I couldn’t get enough,” Bucky smiled at the memory, squeezing my thigh.

           “Your Brooklyn accent is what caught my attention. I still remember the last time I heard it,” the words turned to ash in my mouth when I brought up the memory of that day—the guards beating Bucky before they hauled him off. Bruce smiled slightly before going back to the file on his desk. 

            “There are hundreds of detailed records about the early experiments they performed on you two that were part of Project Master Man; you two weren’t the main focus, but they figured it could be hidden in those files. It turns out Hydra was trying to connect you two on a level that would make you the ultimate killing team,” Bruce looked at us. “It backfired, and they couldn’t do what they wanted; basically, you two couldn’t be programmed to the extent they needed. It didn’t go the way they wanted, but they were still able to create a fairly efficient killing team with the two of you after the serum and the DNA splicing,” Bruce started to look through the file for something specific and finally found it. “This part is probably going to be the hardest. So they noticed that the DNA work they did made you two inseparable and closer than they anticipated. This gave them the bright idea to encourage your relationship, wondering if they could find a way to make you both fertile again. They wanted to see if you could get pregnant with a Winter Soldier because the new soldiers were unpredictable. You two were exactly what they wanted, so they wanted to make more of you,” Bruce slowly looked over his shoulder. “The last entry that mentions Roz, at that base at least, is the day they froze Bucky for the first time. After numerous attempts, natural, I assume you get what I mean, and artificial attempts, Roz got pregnant. They logged going into the cell you two shared to find that you miscarried. They hauled Bucky off and moved you to a different base,” he looked up at you us. “Roz popped up at a different base not long after, and they started wiping her and using her on solo missions, the same way they did with you, Bucky. There is an extensive log of both of you separately that was more effective than when you were together, so I guess they decided it was better to keep you apart,” Bruce kept his gaze on his lap. I was desperately trying to take in everything Bruce said.

           “That’s why you didn’t go through the Red Room graduation; they still hoped they could find a way to get you to give birth to a Winter Soldier,” Nat said softly.

           “From other records I found, it looks like they kept trying to find a way to make it possible, even if you two were apart,” Bruce said, flipping through more files.

           “Oh my god, the memory I keep seeing,” I said before I let out a sob, letting my head fall into my hands. Bucky hurried over to me, putting his arms around me, and for the first time, I didn’t notice the fireworks on my skin. I was too heartbroken; my chest physically hurt at the idea that Bucky and I had a chance to be parents. After a few seconds, it finally hit me; I remembered more of what happened leading up to that memory. I let out a loud gasp, causing everyone to look at me in concern.

           “Doll, what’s wrong?” Bucky asked against the side of my head. I turned and put my lips against his ear, trying to hide the fact that I was talking.

           “Do you remember what happened before they separated us, before that memory,” I whispered. I pulled away a little, and I saw him start to shake his head, but then I saw the truth hit him like a ton of bricks, and instantly tears rolled down his face. I shot out of my seat and ran out of the room; I didn’t realize I ran outside until I made it to the woods out in front of the compound. I turned in circles a few times, trying to decide what to do before dropping to my knees, hugging my stomach, sobbing so hard it hurt.

***

(Steve POV)

           Roz ran out of the room so fast it didn’t register in our heads until Bucky was running after her, calling her name.

           “What happened?” I asked, looking back and forth from the door to Nat.

           “Steve, she just had to remember that they lost their baby. They are both going to mourn all over again,” Nat stood and grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. “Come on, our best friends need us,” she smiled sadly before blowing a kiss to Bruce.

           “Please come get me if they need anything; I’ll help however I can,” Bruce said softly. Nat and I ran through the compound, only finding Clint, Wanda, Vision, and Sam sitting in the kitchen.

           “Hey, where’s the fire?” Sam said with his mouth full of French fries.

           “Uh...” I looked at Nat for help, having no idea what to say.

           “Can’t talk, bye,” Nat yelled as she pulled me out of the kitchen toward the main doors.

           “What the fuck?” Clint yelled, but no one followed. We burst through the doors and saw their outlines at the edge of the woods; we ran towards them, hearing Roz’s heart-wrenching sobs as we got closer. I thought I heard Roz say something along the lines of, what did we do, but it was hard to tell when she was crying so hard. I caught Bucky’s attention as we got closer, seeing the crushing pain in his eyes as he cried with her. Nat walked closer to them and reached down to grab onto Roz’s arms.

           “Come on, honey, we need to go inside, let’s go get you in the bath,” Nat whispered sweetly in her ear. Bucky reluctantly let her go with Nat, knowing she might be able to calm Roz down some. I walked over to my best friend, wishing I could tell him I knew how he felt, but I had no idea what must be going through his head. I watched my best friend on his hands and knees, audibly sobbing, and knew he didn’t need for me to tell him that I understood; he needed me to be there for him. I walked in front of him, bent down, and pulled him to his feet; he stood on his own for a moment before falling into me. I caught him, hugging my best friend, wishing I could do something to ease his pain.

           “I’m so sorry, Buck,” I said as I hugged him, but it didn’t help.

           “Steve,” he hiccupped through sobs.

           “Don’t, don’t cause yourself more pain. Let’s go inside. Everyone’s in the kitchen, so we have to hurry,” I said softly.

           “Christ,” he stood up straighter, eyes red and puffy. “Come on, I need to check on her,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face. I put my arm over his shoulders and pulled him toward the compound, praying we didn’t run into anyone. My mind kept going back to hearing Roz saying, what did we do, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she was talking about. “What?” Bucky said softly.

           “What?” I looked over at him, confused.

           “You look lost in thought. What’s wrong?” Bucky said, lifting his head. I smiled slightly; he was dying inside and still wanted to know what was wrong with me.

           “No, I just thought I heard Roz say something when Nat and I were walking over to you guys, that’s all,” I led him down the hall towards the elevator. His body stiffened at what I said; now, he was walking on his own, avoiding eye contact with me. “Buck, what is it?” I asked lightly.

           “Nothing,” he said before picking up his pace. We got on the elevator and punched the button for our floor a little too hard.

           “You can tell me,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. The elevator doors opened, and he walked out without saying anything. “Bucky,” I called.

           “Leave it alone, Steve,” he called back.

           “Why did she say, what did we do,” I called as I got closer. Bucky stopped in his tracks but wouldn’t turn around and look at me; I got close to him and put my hand on his shoulder again. “What was she talking about?” I pushed lightly.

           “What, are you trying to say you think it was on purpose!” he yelled at me this time, catching me off guard. I took a step back, shocked at how angry he was all of a sudden.

           “N-no… I-I..” I stammered, not sure what to say.

           “You’re right, Steve,” I heard Roz’s voice. Bucky turned slowly, closing his eye and letting his head fall. I saw her standing in the doorway to Bucky’s room a few feet behind him in a robe; her eyes were still red, but she had stopped crying. “Come here, baby,” she reached for Bucky; he obeyed, instantly grabbing her in a hug. “Come on, Steve, we’ll explain in here,” she said, gesturing towards Bucky’s room.

***

(Roz POV)

           I pulled Bucky into the bathroom, where the shower was running already. I saw Steve take a seat on Bucky’s bed next to Nat, both looking heartbroken as they sat in silence. I put my hands on either side of Bucky’s scruffy face and made him look me in the eyes; his beautiful blue eyes had so much pain in them, I thought it might never go away.

           “I love you,” he whispered.

           “I love you too,” I whispered back as I lightly kissed his lips. I gestured at his shoes, silently telling him to take them off; he kicked his shoes off then pulled his socks off too. I slid his jacket off his shoulders, then helped him pull his shirt over his head, then finally helping him slide out of his jeans. I slid my robe off, grabbed his hand, and made my way to the shower, pulling him with me. I stepped into the shower, waiting for him to join me after taking off his boxers; he stepped into the shower, making eye contact with me. We both took a step toward each other simultaneously, reaching for the each other, needing the comfort after realizing what we did all those years ago.

           “Are we horrible people?” he said into the top of my head as we stood under the running water, holding each other.

           “No, no honey, we aren’t. Right?” I didn’t sound any more convincing. We didn’t say anything else for a long time, but we also didn’t move; we just stood under the running water, crying as we mourned the life that could’ve been.

           “Come on, let’s get out; they’re waiting for us,” Bucky finally said. I nodded but first grabbing my loofah and some soap to at least try and clean off. I handed Bucky the loofah so he could do the same; he made a face at the soap, making me giggle for a split second. “It smells girly,” he grumbled but started to clean himself off quickly. We rinsed off then shut the water off; Bucky stepped out and grabbed towels for both of us. I glanced at the sink and saw Nat brought clothes in for us and placed them on the counter in front of the mirror, where she drew a heart in the steam. Bucky was ready to walk into his room with a towel around his waist, but I threw his clean underwear at the back of his head.

           “Nat grabbed clothes for us,” I said with a small smile.

           “Should I feel violated that she went through my underwear drawer,” a slight smirk crept onto his face. I couldn’t help but laugh; even though I felt like crawling into a hole to die, I knew there was no one in the world that I’d rather work through this with. God Bless Nat; she grabbed my favorite plaid pajama pants and one of Bucky’s huge black shirts for me and a pair of sweats and a black tank top for Bucky; she is the greatest best friend. When I opened the bathroom door, I saw Nat and Steve’s heads snap up, both smiling at us. Nat crawled to the opposite side next to Steve so I could climb onto Bucky’s bed across from her and Bucky could sit on the edge next to me.

           “Feel better?” Nat asked while reaching for my hand.

           “Yeah, thank you for bringing us clothes,” I squeezed her hand and smiled.

           “So what’s going on,” Nat squeezed my hand this time.

           “We remembered how we lost the baby,” I whispered, feeling Bucky’s hand rest on my leg; the sparkler feeling was back. I thanked God; I was so scared it was gone.

           “It was our fault,” Bucky whispered, looking at his lap.

           “What do you mean,” Steve asked slowly.

           “I couldn’t bear the thought of subjecting our baby to that life; we screamed and fought for hours because he disagreed,” I stammered before tears rolled down my cheeks again; I heard a sob escape Bucky’s lips.

           “I couldn’t let our baby become a Winter Soldier or die if they weren’t born a Super Soldier, but I also couldn’t b-bear...” Bucky was coming undone as he spoke. He was shaking now, trying to hold in the sobs while he tried to explain what happened.

           “I told him I’d do it myself,” I moved closer to Bucky.

           “I realized I couldn’t let her live with doing it; I couldn’t let her live with the guilt. I decided that I’d live with it instead,” Bucky was able to even out his voice, but tears still rolled down his face.

           “Bucky, I feel just as guilty. It is not all on you. Fuck, it’s not on either of us; this is on Hydra,” I whispered. “Please don’t think we’re horrible people, please,” I said, realizing what we just admitted.

           “Oh honey, no, we don’t think that. I would’ve done the same thing; I couldn’t let those bastards get their hands on my baby. Please believe me when I say that decision was the best decision you two could’ve made as parents,” Nat said as she held mine and Bucky’s hands. Nat’s words crashed down on us simultaneously; Bucky turned to look at me with a sad smile.

           “Parents? I mean, I guess technically we are,” I said, smiling back at Bucky. I saw Nat elbow Steve out of the corner of my eye; he gave her a dirty look before realizing what she was doing.

           “I agree with Nat; please know that we love you both. I’m so proud of you both for making the hardest decision of your lives to spare that innocent life,” Steve said, smiling at us. We sat in Bucky’s room for hours, sharing memories that Bucky and I could remember, enjoying the beautiful stories of how our love started.

Series Masterlist | Chapter 7

Taglist:

@criminalyetminimal​ @kendallthesimp​ @marvelfansworld​ 

[peaky-shelby]

What You’re Thinking

COLLENTION: The Passenger Tales

pairing: chris evans x first pov!reader

words: 1.800

summary: if I knew what you were thinking, i could stop this boat from sinking

warnings: SAD! Mentions of break up- some sort of a happy ending.

note: FINALLY! A NEW STORY! ITS BEEN SO LONG! this is part of my new collection the Passenger Tales. I’ll be writing many shirt stories inspired b his songs. He is my favorite song writer and he is so freaking inspiring. if you have any requests you can send them. I love youu xx

don’t forget to leave your feedback.xx

I heard him leaving his keys on the table like he always did and then dodger started barking, welcoming him home before I had any time to get out of the room. I figured since Dodger had gone already out to find him, I could continue packing my stuff for a few more seconds. I could hear laughter coming from inside, the familiar screams and howls that were always heard when Chris and dodger hadn’t seen each other for a while.

After putting the last shirt on my bag, I took a deep breath and walked to the living room. There I found Chris and dodger playing like little kids. Maybe it was out of instinct, because I wasn’t feeling happy but I smiled. This picture of Chris and dodger I had seen a thousand times and I guess my lips couldn’t hold back, they were used to smiling.

He noticed me only a few seconds later, his laughter died out. It kind of hurt seeing his expression change like that, so suddenly and so… badly. I knew that look like the palm of my hand, he’d give that look to interviewers that had asked the wring questions on press tours or when watching the news and heard some stupid shit from Trump. I never thought I’d be on the receiving end of that look but I guess I deserved it. Still, it hurt.

“All ready?” He asked. His voice was so low, for a second I thought he asked me if I was alright but then again I knew better than to think like that. He didn’t care about me, not anymore. He just wanted to get rid of me and I was making it so much harder for him.

I nodded.  I assumed that he wouldn’t want to hear my voice, so I made him a favor of staying silent. Or maybe he did want to fight so he could call me out on all my bullshit, so he could hate me without second thoughts. Now although he wanted to be mean with me, he was too much a of a gentleman to do that. He stood up, rubbing his pants to get rid of all the dog hair. Dodger kept glancing between me and Chris like a little boy, a kid, that couldn’t understand what was wring between his parents but knew something was going on. That knew the people he loved most in the world were about to beak- he knew he was about loose on of them he just didn’t know which.

“Do you need any help with the boxes?” I shook my head. I wanted to say no but then I thought about it again- As much as I wanted to I could never carry the box with all the books so I immediately said “Yes- I mean- I’m sorry I just- The books are very heavy. I can take care of the clothes.”

Chris nodded and walked past me to get in our- used to be- shared bedroom. Now the room felt like a haunted house. Memories and ghosts everywhere, in the walls, in the empty selves, in the clean floors that reflected my feelings- emptiness. Even the torn curtains that we had always said we should change but never did, hid monsters behind them. The green color of the walls seemed so scary now- I hated it. It used be the color we made love under, the first color I saw in the morning when I woke up in his arms. The color of our little hideaway. Now  It just made me want to throws up. I needed to get out here as soon as possible. But even after Chris was out the door, I stayed still. Frozen. Looking at the walls- thinking, hoping, my memories breaking like glass in my mind and my thoughts turning blank. I didn’t want to leave-I couldn’t. Outside I stood frozen but inside- I was mess, everything had crumpled like castles in the sand. I couldn’t hear, say, move, do anything. I didn’t want to. I felt like the haunting walls had grabbed me and held me prisoner.

I only realized Chris was back when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned around with a start and I must had looked like shit because his expression changed again, he didn’t look angry, he looked scared. No. I thought. I couldn’t let him feel guilty or sad for me. I rushed to the bathroom and threw some water on my face, breathing out all the pain in deep huffs.

He stood by the door, his arms crossed, I could see him from the mirror. Usually this was the part where he asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. He was looking at me with those tender eyes, that love that I had betrayed and I looked at him with the same guilt I had been looking at him for the last week. I wish the mirror would just break to pieces so we’d both look away- so maybe our empty looks would break with it but the mirror stayed as it was and so did we. I think maybe he was expecting me to say something and I was waiting for him to kick me out, make it easier for me. But neither of these things happened. “I’ll get the rest of the stuff on the car” he finally said “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

He wanted to meet me? He wanted to say goodbye? Dodger came in the bathroom and started jumping on me for attention.  I think he finally realized which one of the two parents he was going to lose. Me. He started whining and scratching my legs, begging me in his own way to stay. That was it. That was the moment I started crying, I hadn’t shed a tear yet and now the storm was unstoppable. I knelt down and started petting his ears while he hid his head on my stomach. I cried while I held him tightly. “I’m so sorry.” I whispered and he barked like he understood “I didn’t mean for this to happen- I wish I could take it all back”  I sniffed, dodger barked again “Maybe in the future-“ I pulled away to look in his beautiful eyes, holding his face on my hands, I smiled “Maybe we will meet each other again” I stroked his ear “I’m so sorry Dodger.” I hugged him again “Take care of me. He’ll need you most now. Be the good boy I know you are and in time we will  meet again. I promise” I kissed the top of his head and he barked one last time. I smiled at him and stood up.

All the boxes were gone from the bedroom except my handbag. I put it over my shoulder and walked out. I could hear Dodger following me but I didn’t stop, if I did I would never be able to leave. Out of instinct I grabbed my keys from the table but before walking out I stopped and looked at them, remembering myself, that these weren’t really mine anymore. I walked back and left them on the table, the sound of the metal hitting the wood sounded so weirdly loud. I stepped away, taking one final look around. I wiped my tears away, trying to clear my view of everything. The TV, the blue sofa, the tiny table in front of the television we used to play monopoly. The counter on the kitchen, which was unfamiliarly empty. The desk he sat to read his scripts. The mirror we would take pictures on- so many pictures. At least I still had those. I looked at dodger looking at dodger one last time “love you bud” I said and left. 

Chris was waiting for me in front of my car. He watched me as I approached him. While walking to him all I could think was how fragile our relationship was this whole time. How fragile all relationships are. I stopped in front of him, every inch of my body wanted to hug him, kiss him, make love to him- anything else than simply waving and saying goodbye- anything than this.Dodger was barking from inside, making this so much harder than it already was. I cleared my neck and went to move away but he stopped me. What he did took me totally off guard. He wiped my tears away with his thumb, I don’t know if he thought it would help but feeling his skin on mine like that- it ruined me and I let out a cry l didn’t even know I was holding. I tried to look strong in front of him, this whole time, so he wouldn’t feel guilty or sorry for me- but after that I couldn’t cope anymore, my walls fell. “I’m sorry-“  I said in between the tears “I’m not supposed to be-be the one to-to..” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I could barely breath- He held me against his chest. His warmth embraced me like an endless ocean. I couldn’t feel anything else, I was sinking in him. “It’s alright.” His voice echoed, like it was coming from my imagination but it was real. He, was comforting me. Then I heard him sniff too, the same way I did. I realized he was crying too and I held him, hugged him as tight as I could.

“I’m really sorry” I said against his chest.

“I know” he replied 

.“I don’t want to let go.” I admitted and although I expected him to say something along the lined of ‘you should’ he said;

“neither do I.” and I wished we could stay like that forever. This was the most honest we both had ever been in our whole relationship. This was what it was to be with someone, being vulnerable, being true to your feelings, saying what you’re thinking because the other person can never know your thoughts and fears unless you do. He kissed the top of my head and pulled back. I held on his arms and we both looked at each other with teary and red eyes. Maybe in the future we will meet again like I promised dodger and it will be different and better then because we will be different and better at this. I didn’t want him to be the one to say it, I knew he couldn’t so stepped on my tip toes kissed his beautiful lips one more time and whispered

“Take care soldier” He smiled at the nickname and I let go. Leaving a part of with him and taking a part of him with me. I got in the car and started the engine. He waved at me and I smiled. “See you soon Princess” he knew I hated that nickname. I laughed and so did he.

“I hope so”’ I said before stepping on the gas and leaving him behind and In my heart I knew I would see him again. After years, Happy, maybe even with kids and we wouldn’t date then but we would be friends and love each other in our own silly way.

[afigureofspeech]

You were never in any danger: a Kastle rec post

Hey y’all. If you follow me already, you may not have realized that I’ve gained some fandoms recently since I’ve been too busy to do something as time-consuming as reblogging all the stuff I scroll past but yeah, I’ve currently got two other rec posts sitting patiently in my drafts, just waiting for me not to be destroyed by grad school. As you all may know though, The Punisher comes out today, so I really just couldn’t help myself.

I didn’t expect to be here. I get the sense that most people on this ship didn’t either? Cool, we’re all in this together. I haven’t even been here that long; I happened to see someone freaking out on my dash a few weeks ago about that part in the trailer where they’re on the floor and Frank touches Karen’s hair – you know the one – and, well, somehow I wound up rewatching all the Kastle scenes over and over and over… I was even planning on waiting until next week to binge the whole season, when I’m on break and recovering from minor surgery and all, but I’m way too hyped to wait so I’ll probably get to it this weekend instead.

In any case, this isn’t a full rec post cuz the series dropped and I just wanted to get it out. Please forgive the general messy and incompleteness, I’ll do an update later when I have the time. Now a full rec post! Tried to fit in as much as I could think of. Also, if anyone out there has some fics (or anything else) you want to rec, please do! Like I said I am new here and I haven’t had the chance to go through the whole AO3 tag (yet lol).

My other rec posts can be found here.

Hope you enjoy~

* = new

Update 12/19/17: So apparently there is a limit on how many links I can have in a post. In the interest of being able to add more fic, I have removed the extra sections for fanart, fanvids, etc. If you go to some of the kastle blogs I link to at the bottom though I am sure you can find plenty. Sorry about that!

→ FANFIC

alamorn

AKA Under Investigation AO3 Their first meeting after she told him he was dead to her doesn’t go exactly how he thought it would.

glove upon hand AO3 Frank Castle, metaphorically standing in his half dug grave, takes a literal hand to get out.  [Post-Punisher s1]

trouble in mind AO3 Frank didn’t like to ask for things. That wasn’t a surprise — she knew that about him before she knew almost anything else. That Frank Castle, he’s a monster, he’s a machine, he doesn’t know how to ask for help. It’s lucky for him that Karen has never waited to be asked. [Warning: explicit sexual content, femdom, pegging]

alchemistc 

after AO3 | Tumblr He presses his lips into her hair and breathes deep, chest expanding against her side, arm curled around her, and Karen thinks - Do we deserve this? [Punisher speculation]

can’t no preacher man AO3 | Tumblr She breathes a sigh of relief when she catches sight of the shape of her late night visitor, and then stifles a snort at herself. Only Karen Page would find the sight of Frank Castle relieving.  [Part 2 of the devil’s backbone series] 

hangman’s knot and three mouths to feed AO3 | Tumblr “Was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d drop in. ”She kinda wants to punch him in his stupid face, but she knows it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t even land, unless he wanted it to. Besides, it’s not like she could make the bruises littering his skin any worse than they already are. Frank Castle, Walking Bruise. Somehow, it just doesn’t have the same ring to it as The Punisher. [Part 1 of the devil’s backbone series]

walk together with our hands up in the sky AO3 | Tumblr Frank and Karen in the aftermath.  [Post-Punisher s1]

you bear the scars AO3 | Tumblr “Men.” “Tell me about it,” Trish says, her voice somehow managing to convey both too-chipper energy and exasperation of the highest level. “I don’t know how much I can, actually.” Trish grins, tipping the plastic bottle in Karen’s direction. “The Punisher has taken you on as a pet project, you spend your days building up more enemies than even Jessica can manage on a bad day, and you’re totally attracted to a vigilante who prowls the streets at night killing people. Does that pretty much cover it?” “How did you - I am not - there is nothing going on between me and Frank!” [Part 3 of the devil’s backbone series] 

angel_deux

AKA Puzzle Pieces AO3 Jessica Jones is not an easy friend to have. And Karen’s not even really sure if she can call her a friend. But Jessica is a good person to have in your corner in a crisis, which is good, because one of Frank’s enemies makes a sudden reappearance.  [Part 2 of The Sinner and the Saint series] 

Between the Sinners and the Saints AO3 A new villain with killer aim nearly takes Frank out, and he makes the call to go to Karen for help. Karen, who hasn’t seen him in months, who has been wishing she could take back those words she said to him in the woods. She never thought she’d get the chance to repair what they both broke that night, so once he’s back in her life, she’s not going to let him disappear again so easily.  [Part 1 of The Sinner and the Saint series]

Tough Girl is What I Had to Be AO3 Lisa Castle survives the incident in Central Park, and Karen Page wants to take care of her. Set in an AU where Lisa survived but Frank had no knowledge of it until after the events of Season 2.  [Lisa lives AU; you didn’t know you wanted this but I’m here to tell you that you absolutely do]

carrythesky 

i started all the wars AO3 | Tumblr  (Turns out fighting’s easy, once you start. The problem is that he’s never learned how to stop.)  [Punisher speculation, all the angst]

It’s still heavy Tumblr  [Karen Page grows up pretending. She escapes to the broom closet downstairs, curls into the dark space and when she closes her eyes she’s an astronaut, a deep-sea explorer, a knight scaling tall towers to rescue damsels in distress.]

things you said in the dark Tumblr  [Sometimes, late at night when her eyes itch with exhaustion and the words on her screen become a jumbled blur, sometimes, she thinks of home. The most recent memories are transparent as glass but her childhood is a series of fragments, fuzzy at the edges - rain on the breeze, gingersnap crumbs, Kevin laughing over his shoulder and running ahead, always just ahead - And this, plucked from the haze: Penelope Page hunched over the kitchen table in the middle of the night, crying.]

untitled Tumblr  [q: what scares you? a: you have your good arm around her torso, barrel shoved up under her chin and the magazine is an arm’s length away but you’re still careful, careful. she is steel beneath you and that’s when it hits, that’s when you picture your twitchy finger slipping and a bullet going straight through her skull, in and out before you can blink. the elevator door slides shut and you can’t pull away fast enough. (you are the most dangerous thing her hands have touched.)] [How to pack a punch in 500 words or less holy sHIT]

edourado 

Bodies make it perfect AO3 | Tumblr Drunk Karen is a test to Frank's will power  [Companion piece/sequel to Second Night; warning: explicit sexual content]

Boss AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: "I need you to scream for me. You're Karen Page he's the Punisher, he will come for you." in which Karen hurt and taken by a villain and Frank is enraged."  [Established relationship; warning: explicit sexual content]

But you’re the truth AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: Frank patches Karen up after she's hurt because of a job and goes after the people who harmed her. Romantic-ish Special appearence: Max, the Pitbull [Companion piece/prequel to For I can’t help falling]

For I can’t help falling AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: After Frank leaves his hesitation aside, he gets skin hungy   [Companion piece/sequel to But you’re the truth] 

Have you seen my best friend? AO3 | Tumblr Karen finds a dinosaur toy in the subway.  [Everybody lives AU, feat. an adorable Lisa; warning: explicit sexual content]

Hungry AO3 | Tumblr She fought it. With everything she had, she fought it. Karen can only fight for so long.  [Companion piece/sequel to Never Had; warning: explicit sexual content]

Karen AO3 | Tumblr Prompt: someone hurts Karen and Frank hunts them down. As he is at it, he realizes his feelings for her  [Warning: off-screen attempted rape]

Never Had AO3 | Tumblr How can you mourn the loss of something - someone - that was never truly yours?  [Angsty Matt POV, one-sided Karedevil; companion piece/prequel to Hungry]

Not Pete AO3 | Tumblr * She doesn't like the new name  [Post-Punisher s1; warning: sexual content]

Ordinary People AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Deleted Scenes) Prompt: Best friends who are the Old Married Couple but fail to notice they're falling in love until is too late.  [AU]

Pour AO3 | Tumblr * She pulled his boots off him before they finished the first glass. They now sat under the couch, forgotten.  [Warning: sexual content]

Second Night AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: Frank shows up drunk at Karen's door, and she's on edge, because she has dated a few unpleasant-when-drunk men.  [Companion piece/prequel to Bodies make it perfect]

What do you want AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr promt: Karen accidentaly discovers Frank has a hair pulling kink. She sees an opportunity, she seizes it.  [Established relationship; warning: explicit sexual content]

Ejunkiet 

dilaudid AO3 This isn’t the first time Frank has shown up on her doorstep in the early hours of the morning, but this is the first time that he’d been extended an invitation. 

feel it still AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) w/ evil bunny wolf (evil_bunny_king)  Karen’s legs are unsteady as she makes her way to the bathroom to knock on the door, fingers curling against the wood as she hears the water stop, before Frank’s voice croaks through the door. “What is it?” She has to swallow twice before she can get the words out. “Someone knows you’re here.” [Post-Defenders; WIP]

(in our bedroom) after the war AO3 When Karen had received the invitation from WNEX station to speak on Trish Talk, the most popular radio talk show in the city, her first instinct had been to say no. – “With all due respect ma’am, that’s bullshit. Most people, see, wouldn’t be so easy to let the other things” – murder and brutality, bodies littering the floor of the diner and blood on her hands and face – "go. They don’t seek to understand them. They get one good look, and get the hell away.”

meet me in the woods AO3 * Frank doesn’t wait for them to break the lock – he kicks the door open and slams into the first body he makes contact with behind it, lashing out in a blur of kicks and punches. The intruder falls back, face bloody, and then Frank’s gone, and Karen is left alone, crouched beneath her bed like a five year old hiding from the monsters in her closet, except that she’s no longer a child, and now she has a gun. -- Frank turns up on her doorstep on a Tuesday night and stays until Friday. [Part 1 of the corvidae & whiskey series]

elizma_c*

Flight from the City AO3 | Tumblr What are you doing, Karen? she thinks. He might not even be here. Would he even want to see her? What if – The door beside her suddenly swings open. Of course he senses her right away, even as she’s sort of hidden behind the door. He actually puts a hand to his lower back, and she realizes he’s carrying. Of course. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbles, but there’s surprise in his tone. “Karen.” Even with the questionably overloaded vital signs her body is displaying, she gets the sickest sense of pleasure that she’s gotten the jump on Frank Castle.

What You Know AO3 | Tumblr “When reality feels like its slipping away, hold on to those things that you know are true. You have to focus on what you know.” What did Karen know? Karen knows that she likes to read on the subway. She likes wearing heels that click on the sidewalk. Karen hates exercising but is apparently not a fan of therapy, so she goes running on Saturday mornings. She keeps a .380 in her purse and a pot of dying roses in her window. She has a track record for falling in love with the wrong people. She is fine. She repeats the list in her head each morning when she wakes up, until her hands stop shaking and the knots in her stomach go away.

evil bunny wolf (evil_bunny_king) / devilbunnyking

author our own disasters AO3 | Tumblr Frank Castle’s flesh is a litany to disaster. – Karen and Frank meet again for the first time since that final showdown on the rooftop. It doesn’t go as planned. [Part 2 of the you make me feel so criminal series] 

feel it still AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) w/ Ejunkiet  Karen’s legs are unsteady as she makes her way to the bathroom to knock on the door, fingers curling against the wood as she hears the water stop, before Frank’s voice croaks through the door. "What is it?” She has to swallow twice before she can get the words out. “Someone knows you’re here.” [Post-Defenders; WIP]

Graves AO3 Frank Castle - had cared. He’d broken himself caring; he’d loved with a heart she’d only glimpsed beneath his darkness, broken and bleeding as it was. She refused to believe that that man could be gone. [Part 1 of the you make me feel so criminal series]

Pacific Swells AO3 | Tumblr It’s not morbid curiosity. She’d be easier to scare away, if it were – he could play the part, flog away another shred of his humanity to dangle before her and ask ‘is this what you wanted? This what you wanted to see?’  [WIP; part 3 of the you make me feel so criminal series]

Perihelion AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1) “I’ve had, I’ve had a hell of a week, but that, I think, might’ve been part of the worst of it.” She clears her throat, and then again, drawing her knees in. Her eyes shine a little in the lamplight. “Yeah. I was scared too. For you.” -- Frank visits Karen, after. [Post-Punisher s1]

Touch AO3 | Tumblr  “Why are you here?” he settles on, instead. Her hand moves to the marks on his neck, thumb grazing his adam’s apple. “Because I made a choice. And now I’m making another.” [Part 4 of the you make me feel so criminal series] 

The Twist AO3 | Tumblr Frank finds Karen trussed up in the back of a van in Queens.  [Kidnapping, protective!Frank]

glycerineclown* 

glutton for punishment AO3 | Tumblr If she wants it, it's not a punishment.  [Warning: explicit sexual content] 

Operation Spot AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) A stocky grey pit bull peeks out from the mouth of the first alley that Karen passes. It's Frank, but she doesn't know it yet. [Shapeshifter AU]

Ordinary Citizens AO3 | Tumblr Rawlins’ fist had really done a number on Frank, and he has to get some teeth pulled a few days later. Karen takes him home, after, for rest and mothering. He stays longer than he has to—long enough to figure a few things out.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

idekman / hipsterfrankcastle

around the world my body will roam (my soul’s in new york) AO3 | Tumblr She gets two blankets, one for each of them, and sits out there with him until the sun rises. Frank moves into Karen’s apartment. She dreams. [Punisher speculation]

my girl is tall with hard long eyes AO3 | Tumblr  He returns the book the next day. She’s asleep, curled up on her sofa, the window shut. She looks so small like this, fragile and vulnerable and not at all like the electric force of nature she is in waking. 

this is all I ever was AO3 | Tumblr  'I always thought you liked tulips.' Karen takes the pot of roses from him, places it gingerly back on the windowsill. He listens to her fiddle with it, twist it this way and that – finding the best spot for it in the sun, he realises. 'Maybe. Before.' - prompt: kastle through matt's eyes  [Post-Punisher s1]

jazzonia 

come upstairs but not to talk AO3 Frank comes to her straight from the firefight.  [Warning: explicit sexual content; part 1 of the we’re always alright series]

don’t care about your intentions AO3 Karen’s world is upended when Matt reveals his identity to her. Frank helps her right it again.  [Warning: explicit sexual content; part 2 of the we’re always alright series]

LaMorenaReina 

Ascendancy AO3  Karen Page's relationship with control becomes all the more tenuous as she explores a singular and inconclusive friendship with Frank Castle, wages her own war against Wilson Fisk, and has to start answering some unwanted questions about her past that lead to new conclusions about her identity. 

Re-Entry AO3 Frank shows up again and causes trouble because he’s Frank. Karen goes along with it because, well, she’s Karen. They have adult conversations because, honestly, they should.  [Punisher speculation]  

PurpleLex / shipsabound

bloodsport AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) two-part tumblr prompt: "A baddie is threatening/hurting Karen in front of a tied up Frank. And he’s raging?” [Protective!Frank, h/c; warning: mature content, description of torture/violence]

during the dark and storming nights AO3 | Tumblr Frank POV retelling of “the space between dreams and reality”  The concrete columns echo again with the second gunshot and he stands there for a minute on shaky feet, disgust and satisfaction twisting and warring against each other within his gut. The satisfaction doesn’t last long, yanked from him harshly when he climbs back into his truck and hears the radio abuzz over a shooting at the tenement building on 47th. Two women sustain injuries — one Sophia Rossum, and one Karen Page. He forgets to breathe for a long minute. [Part 3 of the Dreams & Lasts series] 

fourteen weeks AO3 | Tumblr tumblr prompt: “something where Frank has a dog and because said dog has pretty much adopted Karen as his second owner, Karen often times takes care of the dog when he’s away/busier than usual. And it doesn’t take long for someone to start putting two and two together about who the dogs main owner is." 

leaving is my last option AO3 | Tumblr Kastle Week Prompt: Lasts Frank rakes his gaze over her entire form, like he’s trying to decipher her. She shifts. He has a way of making her feel like every inch of her soul is being seen, and it’s as much something she longs for as something she’s insecure about. “Sooner or later, you’re going to burn out,” he says, tone flat. “How are you going to take care of yourself then? Defend yourself?” A bitter smile curves her lips. “I could say the same thing about you.��� [Part 2 of the Dreams & Lasts series] 

meet me in the woods AO3 | Tumblr tumblr prompt: "I would DIE if you wrote a couple of scenes where Karen army trains with Frank. I could TOTALLY see Frank being like, "You can’t get involved in the extra dangerous stuff unless you at least let me train you.” Imagine them running in the mornings??? Karen getting into crazy shape and the tension between them intensifying???“ 

shine a light through the distance AO3 | Tumblr “You sure about that?” He asks, incredulous, but she doesn’t give an inch. “You help me, you’ll only get blood on your hands.” “I already have blood on my hands.” She almost had his on hers half a year ago by force of a bullet. He put his blood on her hands just a month ago by force of a plea. “Doesn’t mean you need any more,” is all he says before opening the door. [Part 4 of the Dreams & Lasts series] 

the space between dreams and reality AO3 | Tumblr Kastle Week Prompt: Dreams He stands in her apartment, by the door, but it is closed this time, and no bullets are coming through her windows. Her gun is in her hand, though, gripped loose from where it hangs at her side. “Why?” She asks. It’s a whisper of a loaded question. He doesn’t respond, just stares at her, gaze too unreadable. Karen wakes with a frustrated sigh. [Part 1 of the Dreams & Lasts series]

untitled Tumblr  [Can you do a prompt where Micro yells at Karen and Frank gets the in his face. I literally be for protective!Frank 😂💕] [Punisher speculation]

PunkyNemo / thevampirecat

As days go by, the night’s on fire AO3 | Tumblr She’s lost him, she’s found him and she’s lost him again. And now he’s standing on her fire escape, holding out his hand and looking at her like she’s the only thing on Earth worth seeing.  [Canon-divergent AU; part 2 of the Ballads for a dead man series]

Be my saviour and I’ll be your downfall AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1) Once upon a time she derided herself for imagining they were a done deal on a collision course straight to her bedroom. But that’s all over now and he’s gone, hasn’t been back since he walked off her roof and disappeared into the night air. It’s not all bad though. She has friends, she has work and tonight she even has cause to celebrate. It is, after all, her birthday and there’s a chance the universe will be kind. It’s just a chance though. And not a very good one.  [Canon-divergent AU; warning: explicit sexual content; part 3 of the Ballads for a dead man series; WIP]

The bullet you never saw coming AO3 | FFN | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) There are days that he wonders if he’s the worst man on Earth. And then there are the days that he doesn’t need to wonder. But, worst man or not, she’s here, sitting on his couch and crying like the world is ending. And he has no idea how to feel about that. Except he does. He really does. [Canon-divergent AU; warning: explicit sexual content]

Can you wait while the world circles the sun? AO3  It’s hard when you can’t take her out - when you’re The Punisher and the world can’t know she’s your girl. But he can make it up to her, make it right … even if he’s not really sure what it is that he’s wanting.  [Warning: implied sexual content]

Could you crawl out of your perfect skin and climb into mine? AO3 | Tumblr * It's just a hug, so why does it feel like it's so much more?  [Frank POV, The Hug]

Love me back to life AO3 | FFN | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) He can keep her safe. It’s the one thing he knows how to do, the only thing he can truly give her. So why does it feel like it’s not enough?

You’re a ghost town (and maybe I’m a ghost) AO3 | FFN | Tumblr Safe up in the mountains with Frank following a bloody showdown in Hell’s Kitchen, Karen wonders just how much more complicated things between them can get. She’s about to find out.  [Canon-divergent AU; part 1 of the Ballads for a dead man series; I cry about this series in the best way, it’s long and plotty and UST-y and so so great]

queensofthekastle / StellarRequiem & homesickblues 

For Whom There are No Words AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1) Originally inspired by the prompt “Frank protecting Karen after Fisk finds out she killed Wesley.” A dialogue-driven slow burn exploring their relationship through conversation, spaghetti dates, two incidents involving vodka, and a whole lot of back and forth between who Frank is, and what Frank does.  [Canon-divergent AU; protective!Frank, slow-burn]

Nowhere to Go but Everywhere AO3 * Karen has some emotional recovery to do, Frank is still working on "after," and all along the east-west interstate, someone has been abducting children and wiping all record of the disappearances. ** The roadtrip fic has arrived [Roadtrip AU; fake married, sharing a bed]

untitled Tumblr [based on the new trailer (which shook us to the core tbh)] [Punisher speculation]

untitled Tumblr [Kastle+forced to share a bed (best trope ever)]

untitled Tumblr [kastle prompt fill: “matt and frank having a conversation about karen”] [Canon-divergent AU]

untitled Tumblr [OOOH! What about holding their unconscious body WHILST sobbing into their shoulder/chest ] [Punisher speculation]

samssalvation / jonbernhthal 

one day Tumblr prompt: between the explosion and the elevator 

weak knees AO3 | Tumblr  prompt: karen tripping and falling into frank's arms

SecondFromTheRight 

All We Do Is Hide Away AO3  But when she opened the door to him that night with a “Frank”, her lip trembling as she stared at him – her eyes were already red from crying and she looked tired – he wondered how much that mattered. He knew what Karen Page looked like crying and breathing – or yelling – his name, he knew what she looked like with blood on her, but he didn’t know who Ben Urich was to her. He kind of hated himself for that. And for a man used to self-contempt, this dose noticeably burned.  [Post-Punisher s1]

The Sounds She Makes AO3 * Now, now that he’s had her, had this. Something good and something he feels part of it. Now that he’s remembered life and something he’s terrified could be love - he can go out with Karen on his lips, in his lungs, with her saying his name in his ear. He can go out swaying in this elevator with her, her forehead against his. The elevator scene goes a little differently (they have sex) [Warning: explicit sexual content]

watermelonp00fs 

shooting stars in a jar AO3 * Frank doesn’t visit Karen, after. Not really. But the flowers are there by her window — everyday, for weeks, months — until one day they aren’t. She’s stopped going to the river for a while now, too. Not that he blames her for it. Cut the threads loose, toss the baggage she’s carried all this time into the goddamn ocean — He’s alright with it, all of it. Then, one evening she goes home with a man he’s never laid eyes on, carefree laughs and cheeky smiles — and Frank should be, must be alright with this because God knows she deserves happiness that he cannot interfere with — Except he isn’t.

the world on its axis AO3  Inhale. Exhale. “I’m scared, Karen.” Rough. Guttural. He hated how weak he sounded. “I’m gonna forget her voice.” His shoulders sagged from the weight of his guilt. Frank Castle — the man who took a woman to bed and cried to that woman about his dead wife. What a joke. What a fucking joke. A low hum sounded in the back of Karen’s throat as she stroked the line of his back, gentle and understanding and oh he did not deserve her — “I know,” she murmured and kissed his shoulder. “I know.” Inhale. Exhale. [Part 2 of the like diamonds in the sky series]

Wynn / astreetcarnamedwynn

One Worth Knowing AO3 | FFN | Tumblr The message arrives in an innocuous envelope, a plain white one marked only with her name and the address of The Bulletin, the two scrawled on the front in thick black ink. Karen doesn’t even have to open it to know it’s from him, from Frank, though almost eight months have passed since she last saw him.  [UST; warning: adult content; part 1 of the One Worth series]

One Worth Trusting AO3 | Tumblr  Frank presses the first speed dial and, a couple seconds later, her phone rings in her purse. Karen doesn’t bother asking how he knew her number. She just stares at him instead, caught between irritation at his actions and understanding for the impulse behind them. And if that didn’t sum up her feelings for Frank Castle, the man a murderer but one she understood. The man in question watches her, his brow furrowed but his jaw set, Frank willing to throw down over this, his efforts to keep her safe.Sighing again, Karen points to the kitchenette behind him. “If you’re so willing to do things for me, why don’t you pour me a drink? I’m going to get changed.”His face softens, nearly into a smile. “Yes, ma’am.” A continuation of "One Worth Knowing." Frank accepts Karen's invitation to come by her apartment for a drink. All goes well until it doesn't, until truths are revealed and revelations made. [UST, kisses, & angst; part 2 of the One Worth series]

Yggdra / favrielle

Bluest Skies Of Mourning Light AO3 It’s Karen’s birthday. The Punisher is caught unaware by his own legacy.  [Fluff]

On Hallowed Ground I Stay AO3 He never says "I love you”, but whispers every word of it in all the spaces Karen Page leaves for him in her life.  [Fluff]

Paint Your Demons Red AO3 | Tumblr Frank Castle tries to keep Karen Page at arm’s length and out of danger. (Really, he does.) She has other ideas about what safety means. [Post-Defenders]

She Who Believeth In Me AO3 Her brightness touches everything he lays eyes on. And he can’t shake her no matter how hard he tries. [Part 1 of the all the devils series]

untitled Tumblr  [kastle prompt: after the explosion scene, frank takes karen back to his and micro’s hideout. possibly a shower scene (doesn’t have to be sexual) where frank is comforting karen because she took another life while looking out for frank as they were making their escape.] [Punisher speculation]

untitled Tumblr  [plllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllssssssssssss write a fic where Karen and Frank go back to his hideout to patch each other up after the explosion scenes 😙] [Punisher speculation]

Misc.

Been with the Devil in the Devil’s Resting Place AO3 by Amazing_E_ko  The development of Karen and Frank’s relationship from Matt’s perspective, as his own life goes slowly downhill.  [POV Matt, not exactly kind to him but in a fun, vindictive sort of way if you’re into that lol]

Heaven Sent the Saints Down (Hell Sent Them Up) AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) by Ambrosia  But no, yes, the Punisher. In her apartment. Staring at her with an unfazed expression on his face. Even from the doorway, she can see the white skull painted on his chest-piece. And this is somehow so normal for her, at this stage of her life, that she honestly takes one look at Frank, at the bruises on his face, at all his gear spread around her apartment, and says, “Okay. It’s 11:07. I haven’t eaten yet. I’m going to order some dim sum from the corner and you are not going to get any of that gun oil on my bed.”

It is So Quite New a Thing AO3 by an_ardent_rain  He realizes, as he is about to order, that there is one other thing he has besides his grief and his anger and his never-ending war. That there is something that helps him remember, that reminds him who he used to be. He orders a second cup to go and writes “Page” in blocky letters on the side.  [WIP]

don’t fade away AO3 by consultingpathologist* As she unlatches the window to bring the flowers inside, she realizes the yellow is from a piece of paper wedged in between the stems.  [Episode tag]

When you drown, I'll drown AO3 by ebethjanna* His voice is gruff, "Not gonna point a loaded gun at you, Karen." (Two missing moments from 1x10.)

Better Natures AO3 by etirabys “Work with me here, Frank,” Karen snapped. “Make some sense here. Talk to me. We can’t figure out what our next move is until you explain why you’re so disgusted at the thought of my being attracted to you — an attraction which, by the way, I’ve never let interfere with our work or our friendship —“ “I’m not disgusted,” Frank said in a strained, calm voice. “You have ghastly taste, but I’m not disgusted. No. It’s just the feeling of having carried a torch for miles and miles in the dark and… having the sun come up.” [Zombie AU with a side of Fake Married feat. HellaBadass!Karen; warning: explicit sexual content of the dom/sub variety; this fic is everything to me READ IT]

loss like the sharp edges of a knife Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5) by fandammit* [The stillness of after is suffocating.] [Frank POV, post-Punisher; one of my current favorite fics]

moth and flame AO3 | Tumblr by freedomatsea  Liquid courage and exhaustion lead Frank to reach out to Karen after months of keeping away from her. Set post-finale about 6-8 months. Frank’s POV.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

The Fall AO3 by ghoulsngunz  “I need a favor.” A favor? Karen crossed her arms over her chest. She had to be dreaming. There was no way that after three months of silence the Punisher would be standing in her kitchen asking for a favor. “What kind of favor?” Frank rubbed his temples. “I need you to help me find my dog.” [WIP]

Elevator Songs AO3 | Tumblr by Inaccessible Rail (strangetales)  A series of drabbles or shorter works that I've posted on Tumblr about my two trauma buds in probable love.  [WIP]

But I Wish It Was True AO3 by Ideal_Flower* The first time it happened, he was hit with white hot shame. But there was no bullet, no gunshot, no shattering of golden hair and spray of brain and blood and guilt on the wall, on the side of his face. Just her mouth on him, his hand on her, his fingers tangled through the cornsilk strands at the nape of her neck.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

United We Purge AO3 | Tumblr by Jenye "Just remember all the good the purge does.” – Evil runs Hell’s Kitchen, but one night out of the year that evil is legal.  [Purge AU]

Come For You AO3 by larkingstock* Pretty much what the tags say. (I'm so sorry. I wanted it, I wrote it, and if I can figure out the rest I'm probably going to write that too.) (Also so so sorry for the title.) [Sex pollen fic; warning: explicit sexual content, WIP; honestly I am enjoying this fic so fucking much]

You Carry My Heart On Your Sleeve AO3 by Morrigan2345  The first thought that comes to mind when her door opens and she’s standing in front of him in what could only be the tightest black dress he’s ever seen is that she looks good. Really good. The second thought is that he shouldn’t have thought that. The third thought is that he couldn’t give less of a shit. [Warning: explicit sexual content]

the root of the root and the bud of the bud AO3 by nagia* There's a new drug in town, a warehouse full of dead shitbags (and newly empty of a strange, tropical-looking flower), and Karen Page has the kind of connections that might help him figure out what this shit is.  [Sex pollen fic; warning: explicit sexual content]

ain’t nothing but a monster AO3 by nighimpossible “Is this okay?” she asks, the question just a murmur in the dark.  “You’re already close enough to hurt me,” Frank says finally, after chewing on the thought for a long moment. “So hurt me.” [Warning: mature content]

hail, holy queen AO3 by peppermintcas  He kisses her and it’s like setting a building on fire: he knows it’s a bad idea, intellectually, but everything in him is pushing him to do it.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

Strays AO3 by Ruby_Wren* Frank finds out what happened to his dog. 

The End of the Line AO3 by ruebellab  They say there’s a ghost - that he’s a dead man, but Miss Karen’s seen enough to know one thing. Dead men don’t feel, they don’t hurt, they don’t care - so if there’s a man out there, she knows he ain’t a ghost, he’s broken maybe but he’s not dead. [Western AU; WIP]

Fall On Your Knees AO3 by saltandbyrne* She keeps the flowers in her window for three days.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

windowsill AO3 by shuofthewind  Eight weeks, three days. She's going to punch him in his fucking nose. The fic that fixes the lack of Karen at the end of The Punisher. [Post-Punisher s1; UST]

Of Gods and Monsters AO3 | Tumblr by silbecoo Frank is the God of the Underworld, quietly ushering honorable souls to the Elysian Fields while ensuring the evil ones start their time in Tartarus as soon as possible. He doesn’t want or need anyone to care about, until one day the beautiful Daughter of Demeter needs him. He can’t ignore his fate, and neither can she.  [Yup it’s the Hades&Persephone AU you were waiting for; WIP]

A Hard Rain AO3 by smolhombre* When he starts over this time, Frank tries to mean it. An after; for people who don't believe in them. [Warning: explicit sexual content; WIP]

the floodgates need repair AO3 by stainofmylove* Karen struggles to put the pieces back together again. Post “I’m already dead,” basically. 

moving on AO3 by thecoolestfreak* “I’m going to break the truth over Fisk’s head, sure. But I need the backup to do it. Capable parties.” She said it as she’d rehearsed it in her head, and she winced at how unsympathetic it sounded out loud. “Y’need canon fodder, that it?” he said, and she almost spit out the wine she’d nervously poured in her mouth. “God, no! Frank, that’s not— I’m—" He laughed, a small chuckle, but a laugh, and if he were here she would punch him in the arm.“I’ll do it, Karen. Where and when do you need me?” post the punisher s1 & the defenders s1 - the gang fights fisk, but its basically a kastle fic

elevator AO3 by thefudge 1x10. The elevator scene, but with a much needed addition. 

but shrapnel is shrapnel AO3 by theworthofhollin  It starts like this: Karen gets a dog.  [WIP]

to arm your fears like soldiers and slay them AO3 | FFN | Tumblr by viansian  Karen had gotten over the whole “soulmates” hype when she was thirteen years old, and she didn’t plan on getting swept up in that shitstorm again anytime soon. aka the soulmate fic you knew was coming. [Soulmates AU]

Sentimentality AO3 by writesometimes* She stood in front of the windows and scanned the darkening New York skyline. The dark concrete, steel and glass of tall buildings blending with the inky indigo sky. There was no way she'd spot him if he was out there somewhere, but Karen knew. Frank was alive. 

Ain’t about what I like AO3 | Tumblr by zombieboyband Before the diner, after the gunfire. City nights, late drives, looking for coffee with Frank. Karen is too tired for easy questions. “Pardon, ma'am?” He sounds so goddamn polite it’s incredible. “The meat hooks. The part where you killed people and put them on meat hooks.” [Missing scene]

→OTHER  

On tumblr: kastlelibrary, kastlenetwork, kastlesource, queensofthekastle, thecrimescenejunkie

People with good Kastle tags: afigureofspeech, carry-the-sky, frankcastle, hipsterfrankcastle, likcoln, mazikeene, shipsabound, theworthofhollin

On AO3: the Frank Castle/Karen Page tag

Updated 12/19/17

[spacebuggy-draws]

Storm's POV

Cardinal's huh? Why do they have to be red?  I hated the color red, but can you really blame me? Red is the main color of my father because he's an Archdemon, and red is such a violent color. I pulled up one of the sleeves of my hoodie and looked at my arm. My arm was covered in wounds, most of which were from an unfortunate run-in another demon, but the others were from me. I have a bad habit of hurting myself. But, it's not really because I want to die, I'm a demon, so it's kind of impossible to die that way. It's more because I want to get out of my skin, to be someone else. I didn't mind the cuts and gashes, they would heal and be completely gone in probably an hour at this point. I quickly pulled my sleeve back up when Casey started talking, "Hey Storm! Lunch is ready!" I didn't move, "I'm not hungry..." Casey started walking towards me, "Really, but-" I stood up and cut him off, "JUST STOP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Casey looked hurt by my words. Tears ran down my cheeks, "I-I'm sorry, I..." He began to reach towards me but pulled his hand back when I flinched. I fell down to the floor, brought my legs up to chest, buried my face in my hands, and began to cry my eyes out.

Casey knelt beside me, he put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't know why, but I leaned onto him and began to cry into his shoulder, my hands gripping at his shirt. I felt a hand on my back, trying to be soothing. Casey was saying things to me, probably trying to calm me down, but I couldn't make any of it out. Everything felt heavy, and I was struggling to get air into my lungs. I started to feel light headed from the lack of oxygen. Before I knew it, I had passed out.

...

I woke up to a hand rubbing circles into my back. I absentmindedly nuzzled into Casey. He chuckled and I sat up as my memories rushed back to me, "Oh my god, I am so sorry!" He laughed and sat up, "It's okay, just please don't do that again, you scared me to death." I smiled, "I'll try, but I can't make any promises." We sat there for a bit until I broke the silence, "So, uh, how long was I out?" Casey looked at the clock, "About 4 hours. It's around dinner time now." He looked at me, "Are you hungry now?" I stood up, "Incredibly." I followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the table. "So, we weren't able to eat the salad I made for lunch, so I guess we could eat that." He said as he got bowls down from a cabinet. "I'm fine with that" I was staring at a pattern in the wood of the table that looked like an eye, it looked like it was judging me. Casey placed a bowl of salad in front of me before sitting down across from me with his own food. "Thanks" was all I said before devouring my dinner. I had finished my dinner in a few minutes and got up to put my dishes in the sink. Casey looked at me, "Damn, you eat fast. I mean, you ate that in like, 2 minutes! 2 fucking minutes!" I yawned and walked back out into the living room.

I was laying down on the couch glaring at a red book on a bookshelf when Casey came in and turned off the light. He yawned as he started walking up the stairs, "Good night Storm." I didn't look away from the book, "Night." He went into his room. I closed my eyes, rolled over and fell asleep. The last thing I saw before I fell asleep was the color red.

...

I sat up with a start. I was breathing heavily and tears were streaming down my face. I curled up and began to cry. Without knowing what I was doing I got up and ran into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and sat on the floor leaning against the door. I hid my face in my hands. Stupid broken demon, this is why everyone hates you! You're an emotional wreck! You're sensitive and weak, it's no wonder that you're worthless!  I moved my hands away from my face, I was shaking horribly.  I reached out for a drawer with a shaky hand and opened it. I moved closer to the drawer and began digging through it. I pulled out some scissors and sat on the toilet. I pulled up one of my sleeves, the wounds from earlier were gone.