#potato chip hat motherfucker

[blightroach]

working SOOO hard on drawing these scenes the way its in my head

[uftopia]

i saw a tiktok of a woman making apple juice slushie at home in a plastic bag. i can imagine this becomes a big craving for gnf in the late stages of pregnancy, and even as contractions start coming slowly he begs dream to make a large cup and gets himself one of those milkshake straws to drink it. dreams unsure and george grunts and is in pain and argues it’s FINNEEE it’s literally fine if i eat right now GOOGLE SAID ITS OKAY

sapnap drives dnf to the hospital once contractions get dire enough to go bc dream wants to be 100% attentive to gnf , who is unusually quiet in the backseat with him. george is a screamer, but the pain i imagine is so overwhelming he just can’t find it in him to do anything but scrunch his face and break dreams hand (only when they get to the hospital does he let it out)

when gnf is situated in the delivery room and he’s still in latent labor sapnap is the most annoying motherfucker on the planet . gnf does stretches and breaths to ease himself and sapnap does grotesque gyrations and mouth noises (tongue out) . i imagine he would pretend to grope gnf, just hands hovering bc george would kill him otherwise but he’s too busy having a baby, he says

like sapnap is just annoying but it’s out of nervousness and he’s kind of not sure what to do with himself, but he jokes he’ll stand palms out at the end of the bed to catch the baby like a wide receiver . he makes tiktok’s dancing around and zooming in .5 style on george. they’re put in drafts and he decides to send them to dnf when they’re both chill

mc ost is played 💗

dream sits behind george as active labor begins for support ! and he’s encouraging and loving and makes silly jokes that unfortunately george does not appreciate in the moment . but between contractions he feeds him ice chips and cools his face . sapnap decides to leave the room bc he ended up getting embarrassed and felt like he was intruding

june is born :) light wispy hair pink face. she’s wrapped in stripes and flowers and dnf put a little yellow ducky hat on her (sapnap takes a pic that has a beautify botox filter on it) . they get a billion pictures each , separately, all together, various poses and combinations of people (and baby), they thank the nurses and dream makes his way to find food for his husband- and in the hospital, there’s unfortunately not anything good other than maybe mashed potatoes and fruit cups- so he grabs that along with chocolate pudding . but george gets a deserved nap in once june also dozes

sapnap probably realizes he can doordash and dream takes the idea and gets george’s favorites

june is brought home a full 24 hrs later, dream carries her in a baby carrier from the hospital, gnf following behind insisting he’s healed and comfortable enough to walk (he wants to hold dreams arm side by side as they walk thru the hospital walls slowly) sapnap carries their bags and junes little baby footprints they had her print onto paper

she’s set up in her subtlety themed mc room, and from then life will be different, but good

[junkydrawr]

OK I promised I wouldn't turn this into a vent blog but here I go anyway. Hahah. I just don't know how I'm going to function for the next four years. I am so so so fucking angry at everyone right now. I fucking loathe the customers. 58% of my county voted for Trump and all I think at work when I see someone is: you're my enemy, you're a Trumper I hate you, I loathe you, you've destroyed democracy, you've ruined my future. I see a guy in a Trump hat and I want to rip his face off and think he'd better not ask me for help. Me - I'm someone he wants to see rights stripped away from and turned into men's property. By voting for the Trump he condones these assholes saying shit like 'your body, my choice', he condones rape. And he wants me to fucking help him locate the potato chips? Choke and die you fucking motherfucker.

I hate feeling this overwhelming hostility. Hate feeling my heart pound all day and my adrenaline be up and feeling like I'm going to explode. And I work in the public, I can't get away from eyes and can't get away with just ignoring people. I just don't know how to stop drowning in this rage right now.

[nihilityart]

TenSura Incorrect Quotes

Rimuru: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

Guy Crimson: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Luminous Valentine (After having her identity exposed): I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Deeno: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

Milim: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Draguel: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

Leon Cromwell: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

Ramaris: You know how I roll. Ramaris: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill

Rimuru: Okay, truth or dare? Veldora: Truth Rimuru: How many hours have you slept this week? Veldora: Veldora: ...Dare Rimuru: Go to bed. Veldora: I don’t like this game.

Rimuru: What are your goals? Shizu: To pet all the dogs. Rimuru: No, fitness goals. Shizu: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Rimuru : It’s dark in here Milim: Don’t worry dude I got this Milim: *Stomps their feet* Milim: *Skechers light up*

Leon: I’m going to take you out Guy Crimson: great, it’s a date! Leon: I meant that as a threat. Guy Crimson: See you at five!

Milim: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Rimuru: What did you do? Milim: Nobody died. Rimuru: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Rimuru: How do I deal with my enemies? Milim: Kill them Rimuru: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution Milim: Kill them only a little?

Rimuru, addressing the demon lords: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. Luminous Valentine: But – that’s just a trash can. Rimuru: It sure is!

Shion: A theif. Rimuru: Thief? Shion: Theif. Rimuru: I before E, except after C. Shion: Thceif. Rimuru: No.

Guy Crimson: While I’m gone, Milim, you’re in charge. Milim: Yes!!! Guy Crimson, whispering: Rimuru, you’re secretly in charge. Rimuru: Obviously.

(Perchance Incorrect Quotes)

Milim: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Luminous: A doll. Guy Crimson: A cinnamon roll. Rimuru: A sweetheart. Milim: Milim: ...stop it.

Milim: Wake me up- Rimuru: Before you go go Guy Crimson: When September ends Luminous Valentine: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Diablo: Good morning. Testarossa: Good morning. Ultima: Good morning. Rimuru: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Carrera: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

Rimuru: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Ultima, Diablo, Testarossa, and Carrera: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Rimuru : How would you like your pancakes? Velgrynd: Plain. Velzard: With sprinkles! Veldanava: Chocolate chips. Veldora: Potatoes. *Velgrynd, Velzard, and Veldanava look at Veldora* Veldora: What? They're good.

*Everyone is giving advice to Rimuru * Veldanava: It's okay to ask for help. Velzard: You're not a burden. Veldora: Murder is okay. Velgrynd: Your feelings matter.

Velzard: Look guys, I need help. Veldanava: Love help? Rimuru : Financial help? Velgrynd: Emotional help? Veldora: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Veldora* Veldora: What?

Velgrynd: Where's Veldanava, Veldora, and Velzard? Rimuru : They're playing hide and seek. Velgrynd: Where? Rimuru : I don't think you get how this game works.

Velzard: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that? Rimuru : Uh, like what? Velzard: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Rimuru: Uh, this is what I look like. Velzard: Rimuru : THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Velzard: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Velgrynd: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Rimuru : Okay, arms and hat. *draws them* Veldanava: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Rimuru : You can't just take Velgrynd's hat idea, Veldanava! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up with your own thing! Veldanava: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL! Veldora: Put Veldanava on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Veldanava: NO!! Rimuru : Tricycle, done. *draws it* Milim, want anything? Veldora, making finger guns: Pew pew. Rimuru : A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Milim. Milim, making finger guns: Pew pew. Rimuru : You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

Raphael: You are an absolute fucking dork, Master. Rimuru, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork! Raphael: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

Rimuru: *makes Raphael a cup of tea but puts salt in it* Raphael: *sips tea* Rimuru: Raphael: *finishes tea* Rimuru: Didn't it taste bad? Raphael: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Rimuru, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Raphael: You have your weirdly sincere humility. Rimuru: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

Rimuru: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium* Raphael: Master, what did you think a tiger shark was?

Raphael: Is five a lot of followers? Rimuru: Depends on the context. Rimuru: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers. Rimuru: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

Rimuru: I have a new hoodie. Raphael: Wrong. Raphael:We have a new hoodie, Master.

(Bonus from a Beastars x TenSura AU called "Tragic Reincarnation)

Rimuru: If I die, you can have what little I own. Raphael: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die, Master? Rimuru: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full. Raphael: Raphael: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again, Master.

[santoteez]

A Manhattan Tale - Seonghwa

Parts: 1 of ?

Genre: Chef!Seonghwa, FormerDrugdealer!Seonghwa, FormerKingpin!Hongjoong, Bad boy/ Good Girl kinda??

Warnings: Love interest is a Black Female, Mentions of trial evasion, swearing, kinda angsty, eventual smut, eventual fluff

Requested: yes

NOTE: This fic does NOT, in any way, shape, or form, portray the way I view any member of Ateez nor does it depict their true personalities or actions. This AU is just that. An AU.

Seonghwa huffed, chopping vegetables in julienne form. His restaurant had been open a little under a year now, and business was booming. It was November, and reservations were maxed out, and there was a long line outside of foodies hopeful that a spot would open up.  The surplus in customers caused Seonghwa to hire at least a dozen more workers, and he was considering hiring more. He had plans to open up a new location in a quaint part of Brooklyn, hoping soon to be in all 5 boroughs. Seonghwa was satisfied that everything was going his way. Well, almost everything. Everything except Zelie.

Zelie was a 23-year-old recent culinary school graduate. She had melanin-rich skin and long black coils for hair, which she kept neatly in a bun and hairnet. She had big round eyes, almost doe-like, and a full, round pout. And she drove Seonghwa mad in more ways than one.

It began with her mistakes when she was first hired. If Zelie wasn’t overcooking the pasta, she was undercooking the steak. Of course, she got better over time. She also got more comfortable. She insisted on speaking to Seonghwa, even when he didn’t answer. Whether it was cracking a joke on his appearance as he walked into work or complimenting his dishes, she’d just never shut up.

And today was one of those days.

“Chef Park, aren’t those vegetables cut just a little too thin?”

“The recipe calls for julienne, Chef Carter. That’s the point.”

“I mean, I guess so but, it doesn’t call for vegetable chips.”

Seonghwa set his knife down and glanced up at the ceiling in frustration. He turned to the short girl. “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Sometimes. Why? You don’t wanna be my friend anymore?” She asked sarcastically.

“In order for that to be true, we’d have to be friends first, Chef Carter.”

She laughed. “Why are you so mean?”

He shrugged. “Why you so nice?” He placed the veggies into the pan along with the pasta before sliding it to Carlos to put on the stove.

He took his hat off, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “I’m taking my break.” He called out to the entire kitchen.

“Have fun,” Zelie said, to which Seonghwa didn’t answer.

He headed for the backroom, straight for the door that led to his office. He said in the swivel chair, sighing.

He groaned when he heard a knock at the door. “Yes?” He asked politely.

Mitch walked in. “No need to be nice, it’s just me.”

“What you want, fool?” Seonghwa asked, closing his eyes.

“Why you always at Zelie’s neck for, man?”

“Chef Carter? She starts it!”

“Okay, first of all, you sound like a child. Second, you’re literally the only one that insists on calling her by her last name. Hell, she’s the only one you call by last name. I know you’re typically cold, but what’s your deal?”

Seonghwa sighed. “I don’t know. I expected her to give up on being nice to me after a while, like the rest of the workers. But she just doesn’t give up. I don’t get why she likes me so much.”

“Could it be because she senses the feeling’s mutual?”

“Me? Like Carter? No way.” Seonghwa shook his head.

“I’m gonna tell you what you used to tell me back at the warehouse. Don’t be a fuckin’ meathead. Everyone sees how you look at her when she’s not looking, rightfully so. She’s bangin’. Anyways, you also entertain her banter. You know you could easily ignore her and eventually, she’d stop. But you answer her every time. Why?”

Seonghwa couldn’t answer.

“Exactly. Just be fuckin’ nice for once. How long you been single? Forever. Even Bossman damn near ready to tie the knot. Then there’s you.”

Mitch was right. Just the other day Minjoon, Soojin, Hongjoong and Santana came in for their reservation with big news: Santana was pregnant. They feasted on the most expensive dishes and left big tips in the wake of their celebration. Seonghwa would be lying if he said it didn’t remind him of his loneliness. Hongjoong had an entire family, meanwhile, he was still going home to a pint-sized bachelor pad.

“He’s thinking now.” Mitch laughed. “I don’t know, man. Even if by some magical force, you don’t end up with Zelie, at least get yourself out there. You’ve run an empire before. You’re running another one now. It’s time you found someone to help you run it. I’m heading back to the kitchen now. Enjoy your break. Alone.”

Seonghwa scowled. As much as he was annoyed by Mitch, he knew he meant well. He napped for the most of his break, awoken by a text from Hongjoong. After replying he decided to head back to the kitchen.

Stopping at the sink to wash his hands, Zelie passed by with a steaming pot of potatoes.

“Have fun on your break?”

“I did actually. Because you weren’t there.” Seonghwa wanted to prove Mitch wrong, but he couldn’t help but respond. She got under his skin in a way not many people have. It was like she hit a specific nerve every time.

“Being without me sounds like a tragedy. Are you okay?” She dumped the water into a nearby sink, careful not to drop the potatoes.

“I’ll manage,” Seonghwa said, heading to the front of the kitchen to check the rotating ticket holder to see what orders weren’t being made yet.

“You can get started on order #67, it just came in.” Zelie called out.

Just as Seonghwa was about to grab the ticket, the hostess of the restaurant, Leslie, popped into the kitchen. She never came to the back unless it was time to leave or an emergency, so Seonghwa knew something was up.

“Chef Park, there’s someone out there demanding to talk to you. At first, I thought it might be because of the food so I tried reassuring them that they could speak to the cook that actually made the food, but they insisted that they wanted to speak to you and only you.” She said, rubbing her hands together nervously.

Seonghwa nodded. “Take me to them.” He said, taking his hat off once again. He was itching to find out who could possibly be so persistent.

When Leslie led him out of the kitchen and pointed to the table, Seonghwa wished he had stayed inside. The guests were none other than Ray-Ray and Spider. They were with family, so Seonghwa knew they wouldn’t try anything crazy, but he was still cautious. He thanked Leslie and allowed her to return to the front door before making his way over.

“Ladies, gentlemen, how are we tonight?” Seonghwa smiled, approaching the table.

Ray-Ray laughed. “No need to be that polite, Dragon. You act like you don’t know a motherfucker.”

“Seonghwa.”

“Huh?” Ray- Ray furrowed his eyebrows.

“My name is Seonghwa. The establishment is called The Majestic Dragon, but that is not my name. If you’d like, you may call me Chef Park.”

Ray-Ray looked at Spider, who shrugged and chuckled. Ray- Ray sighed. “Okay, Chef Park. I called you over to ask you something.” He got up, leaning to Seonghwa’s ear.

“How the fuck you dodge a trial? Everyone knows HJ never traveled alone. A smart kingpin never does? You buy this place with all that dirty money? The city would hate to hear that. Should watch your back. Chef Park.”

He sat down. “I give you props, though. This shit is slammin. All them years cooking actually did something for you.” Ray-Ray said, the look in his eye showing he definitely wasn’t talking about food.

Seonghwa smiled falsely. “Enjoy your food, and I hope you come again. Thanks for dining with the dragon.”

He stormed back into the kitchen, practically fuming at the ears.

“What happened to you? You look like these tomatoes over here.” Zelie said.

“Not now, Zelie.” Seonghwa rubbed his temples.

“First name basis? Something’s really wrong.” Zelie said, visibly concerned.

“What’s wrong, boss?” Mitch asked, picking up on Seonghwa’s vibe.

“I don’t know yet. I gotta call HJ. Handle that order for me.” Seonghwa gestured to his station, where the order ticket remained, untouched. Mitch nodded, snatching it up and preparing it himself.

Seonghwa headed to the office once again, dialing Hongjoong’s number. He answered on the first ring.

“Hwa you good?”

“I don’t know, man. Some weird shit just happened.” Seonghwa immediately told him everything from his encounter with Ray-Ray and Spider, from the questions about how he avoided trial to the speculation of the city finding out where the money came from.”

“That is some weird shit. I guess that explains the rock.”

“What? What rock?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong glanced at the large rock, with Boy or Girl? Let’s see if you live long enough to find out.

“There was a knock at the door, and I figured it was some pregnancy shit Santana ordered. When I opened it no one was there. Just the rock. I looked around the hall but I saw nobody which is weird as shit because the only way up here is the elevator in the hall, the one in our living room, and the staircase down the hall. There’s no way they made it from my door to the stairs in literally five seconds. Santana’s freaking out.”

Seonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess you really can’t run from the hustle. Can’t believe after three fucking years, somebody has it in for us.”

“Well, Dragon, how fast can you get here?” Hongjoong asked.

“Give me 30,” Seonghwa said, switching his kitchen coat for his winter one.

He gave Mitch and Carlos instructions to hold the kitchen down while he was gone. He passed Zelie on his way out.

“I know I grind your gears, but I really do hope you’re okay.” She said in a small voice.

Seonghwa turned to her and gave her a small smile. “Me too.”

On his way out, he turned to look at Ray-Ray’s table. The man had an ugly smirk on his face.

“Leaving so soon, Chef Park? What could possibly have a head chef running out of his own restaurant?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

Seonghwa shook his head and stormed out as his table erupted into laughter.

Stephie here! No idea where I was going with this chapter jsdjssj, I suck at starting off fics but I promise once you see my vision it gets better!

[ficmuse]

The Bughead shippers’ drinking (and eating) guide, with activities

·      Longing glances: French fries

·      Holding hands: Buttered popcorn

·      Sweet kiss: Hershey's Kisses

·      Archie makes a snide comment about the relationship: Point your middle finger at the screen. Dick.

·      FP upsets his son: Shot of Jack Daniels

·      Jughead is typing: Potato chips

·      Betty picks a lock: Stick a bobby pin in your hair.

·      Her mom or dad upset Betty: Shot of vodka

·      Either say the word “crazy”: Pop a Xanax

·      Either say the word “murder”: Dark chocolate

·      Either says the word “journalist” or “writer”: Check the New York Times Twitter feed.

·      Veronica Lodge approves: Cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery

·      Jughead's mother and/or sister show up: Jelly beans

·      Make out session: Strawberry milkshake

·      Jug gets bullied: A shot of dark rum

·      A little breaking and entering: Cheeseburger sliders

·      Sleuthing in the rain: Mountain Dew

·      Fred gives fatherly advice to Jughead: Microbrew IPA

·      Betty takes down her hair: Cotton candy

·      Betty becomes Dark Betty in front of Jughead: shot of Jagermeister

·      Jughead takes off his hat: cry

·      They lose their virginity together: Slap a Band-Aid on your thumb so you don't get a callus from hitting the rewind button on the remote to watch that scene over and over- and over. Have a paper bag handy in case you hyperventilate.

·      They break up for some bullshit reason: A box of Kleenex and a full bottle of Cuervo. Don't forget the salt and lime. Salty, like your river of goddamn tears.

·      They reunite because they are endgame: A box of Kleenex and a round of Cosmos.

·      Jughead proposes: Pop the motherfucking champagne, bitches.

·      The wedding: Toss some rice and eat some cake. Bask in the glow that you called it, you fucking called it, way back when Jughead walked into the diner at the end of episode 2 and his face lit up like a goddamn lightbulb when he saw Betty.

[fairdinkumfoodcritic-blog]

Downtown Brooklyn -  Possibly the most retarded name for a burger joint in uptown Penrith??

First of all, you gotta walk up a set of stairs to get up there. Not a big deal for a svelte, well muscled Adonis like myself but considering the clientele this burger joint is marketing to it may be hurting their business if they don't let select customers use the freight elevator out the back. It also makes it difficult to dine and dash as your choices are repelling down the side of a 2 story building or running past the cashier and down 2 flights of ankle injury.

Walking in I was immediately struck by the size and the cool layout of the restaurant with a full bar, booth seats and the same area again outside in a massive alfresco area. I thought given the structure it may have been a nightclub in the past but was informed by a lifelong Penrithian that it wasn't. It must have just been my habit of looking around places and thinking how cool they'd be to get munted in.

So what about the food? I was coming off a bender and my stomach was kinda suffering the effects of last night's substance abuse so I ordered the "Lil cease" their basic hamburger and a loaded cheesy fries. The restaurant was pretty empty at this time, however my meal still took like 20 mins to arrive. Not such a big deal but when you extrapolate what your wait times would be if they were busy it might be cause for concern. Other people I know who have been at peak times have said the wait time is garbage too.

While I was waiting I noticed the music.... most likely in line with the American / Brooklyn theme there was rap and R&B playing. It's not constant if like me, you can't stand Hip Hop etc but it was funny to hear lines like "I came here with a dick in my hand!" and such classics as "bitch ride a dick like she makin 'a baby!" and watching the reaction of the family at the next table as they were visibly distressed that their 3-6 year old daughters were hearing that. I thought they might get up to leave but as it turns out you'd need a titanium cored, diamond tipped crowbar to dislodge mum's laughing gear from her cheeseburger and the corruption of, and eventual googling of these terms by her two daughters was far less Important than the fat bitch's precious, precious caloric intake. So the music might be a concern if you're reading this and considering taking your family.

Just as the little girl asked "Why is that man saying that?" The food arrived! Now.... I feel like there's a lot of wanking on about Wagyu beef these days, which is essentially just fatty meat. Seriously, When was the last time you got a burger that didn't proudly announce that is was made of not just regular beef but Wagyu beef or Angus beef? Even Mc Donalds is in on this circle jerk. Motherfucker it's not like it's a steak, you're gonna ground that shit up and mix it with breadcrumbs and egg and smoosh it into a disk and In case u didn't notice regular mince is fatty as fuck as it is. Pull your head in........

So my Wagyu wank burger arrived and despite the premium gentrified choice of beef I found the  pattie itself kind of flavourless, they used something very similar to Big Mac sauce however so that was pleasant and the burger was well built, solid choice of bun, little toothpick in the top, all in all an adequate burger. The loaded cheesy fries however I think we're a little too loaded as by the end I had a layer of chips floating in a leaky basket of liquid cheese which had a somewhat over powering flavour. They were great chips, well cooked and crunchy (at first) but I think someone went a little overboard with the cheese gun in there because there was so much that you couldn't get away from it, Some times u wanna take time out on the toppings and sauce and just have a couple of standard chips to relax for a bit before jumping back in u know? Well not with this dish, it's full cheese or fuck you! All in all the deep fried potato salad was good though if only a bit generous with the cheese. The wait staff in this establishment are all cool looking people with tattoos and backwards hats etc and strangely, due to either an anomaly of rostering or gender equality gone mad they were all women, Despite the usual inclination of most women I meet (it's a curse), I know that this time none of them wanted me as I looked like a greasy bucket of shit with alcohol oozing from my pores however they were all overpowingly nice and friendly... Almost as though they were being insincere... I'm probably looking too much into it but that's how it came across. I can't fault their service though.

The 1.3% surcharge to pay on card can fuck right off When their average burger costs 15 bucks alone.... Despite this shameless passing on of transaction costs I'll definitely go back to Downtown Brooklyn which used to be called "Big Poppas"and is just a short walk from two of Penrith's finest all Asian brothels, Maybe bring a Sudoku or something to do while u wait for your food though.