#posts this and goes back to my cave not to be seen for weeks

[crepegosette]

man in bun (and polish man)

[frudoo]

Random König Headcanons

Hey y'all! This is my first post on here so I hope it's alright <3

These are all pretty SFW (for now >:)), so I don't think there's really any content warnings??? Idk let me know if I'm wrong.

Likes going to Build-a-Bear. Will definitely make your bear and his bear kiss.

This man can COOK. Oh, you want takeout? Nah. He's already pulling out the ingredients for your favorite dish. Buys the two of you matching aprons.

Talks to animals like they're babies. I also feel like the man just... attracts wild animals like birds and squirrels. Undercover Disney princess??? Perhaps.

Speaking of babies... the man is so good with kids. Laughs all giddily when toddlers climb him like a tree. Wants you to have his babies so bad

Actually has a decent singing voice. Get him drunk enough and he's doing karaoke like a pro. Oh, and if you agree to sing a duet with him??? He's GONE. Goes all out.

Likes to hold pinkies when walking around in public. He likes holding hands, too, but when he's feeling a little more anxious he'll intertwine your pinkies. PDA isn't his strong suit but he HAS to be touching you at all times, and it's like a pinky promise that he'll always be there with you :,)

Draws patterns/words on your back with his fingertips when y'all are laying in bed. Mainly a bunch of pet names, "I love you"s, and hearts. And cartoon penises

This big burly BEAST of a man loves being the little spoon, no matter how impractical it is. Honestly loves any cuddling position though.

Pouts when you're not giving him enough attention. His lips get SO puffy when he's jealous. Talking to one of his friends? He's grumbling German insults to them under his breath. Eventually he'll just scoot closer to you on the couch and rest his legs on top of your lap. BAM, now he's got your attention, even if it's just you telling him that he's crushing you. Big ol' lap dog.

Likes to do your hair!! He'll take pictures of what he's done and show them to you like a hairdresser :,) It could be the worst hairstyle you've ever seen but you're wearing it PROUDLY.

On the rare occasion that you two go out to a restaurant, he REFUSES to tell the waiter if his meal is wrong. Oh, it's shrimp and he's allergic to shellfish? He's telling the waiter he loves it and will just stare at the untouched plate sadly. Also will not let you trade plates with him because what if the waiter sees??? Tries to sink under the table when you finally cave and tell the waiter that the order is wrong. Glares at you the entire time he eats his new correct meal but is secretly so thankful. <3

Is absolute trash at video games. One of the best combat soldiers on the planet, but put a controller in his hands??? He's lucky if he gets three shots in.

Bought an engagement ring two weeks after you two started dating. I mean, he literally fell in love with you immediately upon seeing you for the first time, so are you really surprised??

Is a really good gift wrapper. His hands always start cramping around the holidays because he does most of the wrapping. His love language is 100% physical touch/gift giving btw.

Adding onto the singing thing... I just think he would be a really good musician, specifically a drummer.

NOSE NUZZLES. Like the Brendan Fraser type of kiss where you just rub noses after. He just gives off those romantic vibes <3

Unconventional kisses. Eyelids, the tip of your ear, everywhere you have moles, your calves, ankles... the man is obsessed with you, and he's kissing you wherever he can reach.

ADORES taking baths with you. Candles, rose petals, bath bombs: he does it all. Washes your hair for you. Lots of forehead and temple kisses.

I am unwell. I need him so bad.

Please feel free to reblog if you'd like!! I hope y'all enjoyed my little (very self-indulgent) rambles. :)))

[just-zy]

Mi Pesadilla

pairing: Wednesday Addams! x Fem Reader!

summary: Wednesday's regretting pushing you away.

A/N: hello! Zy here, I have no idea why I'm entertaining this fascination of mine but alas, here I am. First actual post on my tumblr btw! This is a third pov, but the bold italics are wednesdays pov/thoughts! This is just a drabble! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this tho! (dunno if someone's done this already, this was just a thought of mine, also, I cannot believe I forgot a summary ab this..)

Warnings!: Angsty, implied suic*de/de*th, and my writing skills.

Masterlist

Wednesday felt as though she was in a nightmare. A bad nightmare, perhaps? She felt conflicted, confused and in denial. Where have you gone? She wasn't losing her mind, was she? Maybe because she felt numb. Maybe because of the suffocation she's embracing around her. Too isolated. Too misunderstood.

"Miss Addams. I'd advise you to head to your shared room, now please."

Why was Weems sending me away? Does she not trust I wouldn't faint? I live for the pain of others, she should know better than that already.

"Miss Y/L/N will be assisted to the infirmary. Don't worry further, she'll be alright, go on Miss Addams."

Or, she could feel how Wednesday would act when she had seen you on that death bed, that might be the case she's sending her away. Too vulnerable to even comprehend. She needed to talk to you, so badly. She needed to apologize, to talk it out with you, to tell you.. She had ached for you all these weeks. She didn't mean to push you away, no. She was a coward. A wimp, was what she was. Her never ending pride, her untouchable ego, led her to this.

★

It's been four days, 14 hours and 16 seconds. She doesn't know why she counted, perhaps she had only ached for you more with every passing second. She'd lie through her teeth that she didn't, that she doesn't. But, every night she sprawled on her bed, thinking about you.

Possibly, it could've been your foolish smile keeping her up, keeping her on her toes to the very least. Your complete senseless brain, it could've been your playful banter together, it could've been anything. It just had to lead to you.

Why are you such a complete idiot.

Continuous beeps of the monitor go off. Every beat of those beeps sends a bolt of relief to Wednesday, at least she knows you're breathing. Even so, she'd keep track of how long the beeping goes off. She yearns for your touch, she yearns for you.

"Wake up, you baboon. I'll kill you a second time if you don't... I- ".

I miss you..

Hands well kept on top of her thighs, she made no move to have held your cold, wrinkling hands, what once looked so lively and warm. She needed you back into her life. Her exhales, her rigid breathing, she felt as if she was hyperventilating. Maybe she was meant to be here, with you. As long as it was with you, she made no complaints, no backhanded comments, nothing that would've hurt you. Not anymore. She'll make sure of it.

"W- ..Wednesday?"

She couldn't feel how her eyebrows knitted together, almost as if she couldn't believe you were.. Calling for her, with what seemed to be a cry for help, a cry for her attention, a cry for her touch. Oh, how she caved from the way you called her name like that. Every time you did, she'd curse upon such a feeling you had caused her. Gosh, she loathed loved you.

"I'll kill you if you decide to leave like that again."

"Never again, Mi Pesadilla."

★

A/N: omgg this was pretty rushed. And again, my first ever post in this account. I apologise for the mistakes! 'Mi Pesadilla - My Nightmare'

[queersouthasian]

These words in the tag on one of @the-wayside 's post has been hurting me since friday, I have come back to that post so many times and everytime the second tag hits me right in the feels like a direct stab in my heart. Something about the visual imagery of Babe carrying those gloves with Charlie's name engraved on like an open reminder that he existed and that he has changed babe's entire life in such a small amount of time, something about Charlie once during the initial stages of their relationship saying he would be there until Babe gets bored of him paralleling to Way saying he would bring some new "boy" once he is done with Charlie to Babe carrying these gloves of this boy he loves beyond love's defination goes, beyond anything he could have imagined, not even entertaining the thought that anyone would forget Charlie. Charlie's presence is so symbolically visible in his life, even the thought of getting "bored" is a sin, his touch, his words, his smile and especially him as a person hangs around him like a essence and he refuses to let that essence blend in, that essence needs to stand out, he would always come back to that essence, carry that essence to the end.

I have seen people say "Charlie is goona come back so why cry?" , 'cause he almost did infact died in this process, it's true that he would be alive but he would be physically still very week and this accident could have totally killed him if even a little thing went wrong, BUT more importantly it's the idea that a person who could have just choosen to stay out of all this, start his own life, ignore anything happening to Babe, decided to step in to save. SAVE A HUMAN. In a world where people hate for no reason, he decided to love for no reason. He loved so much he completely changed that person. Actually, "change" is the wrong word, it's his love that made a person so wounded by love want to love again, so destroyed by trust want to trust again and everytime he thought even this time his attempt to love has been ruined, that boy steeped in, he made sure that the world may cave in but he would never ever hurt him, but would do any thing, commit any sin to protect him and that wounded boy is left flabbergasted, left speechless 'cause for the first time he is so happy to be wrong, so glad to be lied to 'cause that was to keep him alive, and for the first time he is not wounded. That boy starts to heal and heals the person who has started to heal him. He shows the healer a purpose to heal himself as well. All the times Charlie got hurt or was scared or panicked or doubted himself, Babe was there, he was there to help him, help him heal, he would gently heal his wounds, take care of them, made sure that man knew he would do anything for him. This relationship heals me. 'cause doesn't matter what happens they always find a way to each other, how they fight, how they feel anger towards each other, but at the end still realise, still love, it doesn't take much time to reconcile 'cause that anger can't ever outweigh that love. It's so unconditional it's beautiful. It's the way they are so human and so in love. Nothing about that love is "something that would happen in fiction", obviously no problem with that, but when a relationship this beautiful and human feels so grounded, it gives a sense of relief, especially as a queer person, it makes me so relieved. They also heal my inner child. As someone who has a broken family, they make me want to form a family of my own. They are like my parents. Like I don't simp for them, I long for them and cry with them. Never felt like this since NuengdiaoPalm, gorgeous. This show really said, "we will give you omegaverse and the most gut wrenchingly beautiful love story ever" and owned it.

[littlewigglers]

hi!!! you dont have to answer this but a few months ago (august) i got a Giant Gold Millipede (Orthroporus ornatus) and I'd love to know what you do to have a vivarium like I've seen in your posts!

Also, is she going to be alright if I get another millipede, or springtails, or put isopods inside? I haven't honestly seen much information, and I'd love to be pointed towards some sources or get advice directly! Thank you :)

Here's Sisyphus and her tank! There's a vinegar trap in the corner to catch fruit flies (if theres a solution for that let me know, but i know the decaying material and the moisture is going to attract them), a tray where I usually put her food, and a toilet paper roll for her to curl up in. She's dug a handful of tunnels as well. There's a heating pad to keep it Somewhat Warm on the left side, especially since she's right by the back door and against an outside wall.

I usually feed her twice to four times a week, or when I notice she's lost interest in her current food. I try to water her every day, but sometimes I do a more heavy spray if I miss one.

Hey there first off love Sisyphus, give her a kiss for me on her little head.

To answer your questions I'm gonna bullet point them to keep myself right.

Springtails are a tanks best friend, completely harmless to your pets and they help keep any mold down, highly recommend getting a culture of them. I personally just keep them in my tanks but a friend of mine has a separate tank he keeps a a back up culture of them in encase the tank ones die out.

I'm mixed on keeping isopods in with Millipedes. They're always in my tanks because I just can't get them out and they don't seem to do any harm but after a few months they always end up over running my tanks and I have to clear them out. They're also know to eat eggs so they're a real pain if you're trying to breed your millipedes. If you really want some I'd recommend a slower breeding species of them. Those seem to be the little armadillo ones, the ones that can curl up all cute.

I could get your millipede another little millipede friend, they do seem to be more active when I've had more than one together, even if it's just the same species which is always the safest bet. If you do want to get another but different species make sure they have the same needs in terms of space, soil, temp, humidity and food.

As for the flies and tank

I use fly trap stickers, the ones you'd put on your window in my tank. It might sound dangerous for the Millipedes but you can either put it on the top of the tank or cut it up into smaller part. Also with my bigger species they literally treat the stickers like a buffet and have no problems walking over the surface of them with their feet. It goes without saying but no NOT get any chemical traps for them.

I'd say the key thing you're missing from your tank is hids and places to climb, you've lots of nice pieces of wood scattered about but nothing lifted up to make a little 'cave' as well as something to climb over. Cork bark is the go to most people use, I also have some pretreated drift wood I got from an aquarium store in mine as well. Careful though! if you give them things to climb make sure the tank is escape proof.

Just something I noticed myself, make sure to check under the moss now and again to make sure the soil itself is staying a nice leave of damp but not too wet. I've had mine get dry when the moss looked wet before.

If you've the funds I'd suggest getting a little timer plug for the heatmat to 1. make sure the tank doesn't get over heated 2. to save some electricity.

I personally don't mist every single day as an overly humid tank isn't always great for a millipede depending on the species. They can end up with leg rot if there the tanks kept too wet.

Other advice I can give

Remove food from the tank after a few days for sure. It stops mold from happening and also helps stop any smell building up

Try not to let the food sit in water, I see you have a little dish for it and it will easily collect water and just makes the food kinda mold faster and stink.

The paper tube you have is also just another thing than can get mold on it, you'd be better off removing it I think.

If you add wood to the tank to use as hides made sure to check on it now and again for mold.

You're probably getting the theme of this now but NO MOLD!! Make sure to check the tank for mold now and again, it's not good for your little guys.

As for like links and resources I buy all my stuff from local reptiles stores so I can't really help much there with links of sites, I also don't DIY any of my stuff from like the ground either so I can't give tips on that either. Only thing I can really help with is I have an exo terra tank, I got it second hand and you'd be really surprised what you can get second hand either on local buy and sell groups, facebook market place or even just being cheeky and asking reptile stores if they have any old tanks that aren't fit to sell on shelves anymore. I got mine as a reptile store heavily discounted because someone had got something stuck on the doors and they jam a little now and have a mark on the front.

I THINK that's everything I can think of, hope it helps.

[daughterofthequeen]

Contribution

Pairings: Ezra Bridger x gn!reader

Requested by: @theriseofshin

A/N: I added a little more to the story I hope that's ok. And omg look at the gif I found, Eman is so Ezra coded. THE SHOULDER BOUNCE WHEN THEY SMILE. Ok so this based on season 3 episode 11 of Rebels and also somewhere in between S3 E11 and S3 E13. The idea just popped up in my head, we'll see how it goes. Reader is force sensitive. This is also unedited btw.

Summary: When you, Sabine, and Kanan followed Maul and Ezra to Dathomir, the witches somehow took away your powers. Which should've been impossible, but ever since that incident you've felt like you brought nothing to the team. You felt like you were in the way. Seeing this Ezra quickly took these thoughts from your mind reminding you of who you are.

Translation: kokipa- fear

You were laying on your bed enjoying having the room to yourself for once. I mean don't get me wrong, you and Sabine get along really well as roommates as well as sisters can be anyway, but lately in your spare time you'd ather be alone. After what happened on Dathomir, you rather not be around anyone.

EDIT: I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to make a correction. You guys don’t know how stressed I was.

And HUGE shout to @nubimera for reblogging this story because not only were you the first reblog of this fic but you are the reason I was able to get pictures of my fic so I wouldn’t have to rewrite it. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOURE SO AMAZING🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰and a big thanks to everyone who like my fic in the short amount of time of me posting before I accidentally deleted it🤦‍♀️🫣🤦‍♀️

Few weeks ago on Dathomir

After Ezra threw you out of the cave the spirit left your body, giving you back control of your limbs.

"Why is it every time we work with Maul, weird force stuff happens and I'm always hurt trying to save you?" You said with a small smile while trying to rub away your migraine.

"Wait you're hurt? Where?" Ezra responded reaching towards you looking for any injuries.

“I'm hurt mentally, these experiences take a toll on a person you know." You smirked and Ezra rolled his eyes at your teasing.

"I thought you were injured."

"I do have a heck of a headache if that makes you feel any better." You said as you stood up.

"No, you stay here. I'm going to go get Sabine and Kanan."

"Then I want to help."

"They'll just posses you again."

"And what about you?"

"I have a plan."

"Great, then I can help with that. I'll take Sabine and you can take Kanan." You said walking back into the cave.

Ezra sighed at your stubbornness and followed you in.

"You know you're pretty stubborn." Ezra says.

"I've been told that before."

Sensing something behind you, you quickly ignited your light saber and blocked the one aimed at you. You called out and told Ezra to go help Kanan before focusing back on your best friend.

"Sabine if you can hear me, I'm sorry." You said as you broke the hold of the lightsabers and kicked Sabine in her stomach sending her backwards. Seeing her getting up you pressed on slowly but surely backing Sabine towards the entrance of the cave before a force knocked you over. You opened your eyes to see the spirit that came after you the first time. You quickly dodged it and turned back around towards Sabine and when you did you felt a pair of fingers on your forehead and you hear one word before blacking out.

"Kokipa."

The Next Day

The next thing you knew you were waking up in your bed with Ezra sitting next to you, and it didn't take long to realize the damage that had been done. Once you had woken up completely everything felt quiet. You couldn't feel anything around you. You went to Kanan to ask him about it and he said it could just be fatigue, but you didn't believe it. You have been way more exhausted before and it never affected your powers. It wasn't until a few days later during a mission briefing when you realized your powers were gone. Hera was explaining the mission when you seen one of the cute hermit crab things that were all around chopper base. It was sitting next to your hand on the edge of the holo-table. Smiling softly you reached out to it with the force, well you tried anyway. It was something you would do all the time, but this time you couldn't feel its emotions or its presence. Trying not to panic you looked around trying to connect with any living thing you had seen, but felt nothing. Now it was time to panic. You looked towards Ezra and Kanan. Ezra must've felt your worry and unease because he looked up directly at you seeing your panicked eyes. A few seconds of the two of you staring at each other, he gave you a confused look. That's when you realized he was trying to talk to you through the force link only the two of you shared.

When the two of you met you both instantly created a bond that grew stronger every day. About a month into your friendship you both realized you could use the force to connect your minds and talk to each other telepathically. Kanan explained that it was because of the bond you two share and that it was a rare occurrence and could be dangerous if the two of you weren't careful with your emotions. Over time you both mastered the skill, only this time you couldn't hear Ezra thoughts at all or even feel him through the force. That's when you started to panic. You didn't even hear Hera when she asked if you were ok, or notice Kanan quickly moving to your side while Ezra made his way to the other. All you could hear was your body trying to catch its breath. You couldn't breath, and you could barely hear Ezra trying to walk you through slowing your breathing, but you couldn't. Every thing sounded like it was under water.

Kanan and Ezra walked you to the common room of the Ghost as the others followed, watching worriedly as Ezra was slowly able to calm you down.

"So, you gonna tell us what's going on?" Kanan said.

"Somethings wrong with me." You replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I've lost my powers."

Everyone was silent at first, a Jedi losing their connection to the force was so rare it was basically unheard of during the times of old. The only way for a force user to lose their powers was if they stopped using it completely.

"(Y/n), that's not possible."

"Then tell me what it is Kanan! It's not exhaustion, it's something else! It's like everything has gone quiet, if I wasn't looking at all of you right now, I wouldn't even know you were here! Tell me what to do Kanan.”

"I-I haven't seen anything like this before (Y/n). I'm not sure there is anything we can do. Let me think on it, we'll figure it out I promise." You could hear the sadness in Kanan's voice which only worries you more. You said nothing else as you stood up went to your room. You were anxious, angry, sad, and scared.

"What would my contribution to the team be now?" You asked yourself before the sound of the door opening caught your attention. It was Ezra.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey."

"How you doin'?" Ezra asked as he sat next to you on your bunk.

"How do you think I'm doing?" The pause that followed was uncomfortable and the guilt you felt caused you to sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ezra. I'm just- I don't know why I’m going to do.”

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out, (N/ n)."

"It's not just that."

"Then what is it?"

"How am I supposed to help the team?"

"What?"

"Without the force, I'm useless to the team."

"That's not true! You are more than just your powers (N/n)."

"Am I? I'm not skilled in mechanics like Sabine, I'm not as good a shot as Zeb, and I definitely don't even come close to flying as good a Hera. You and Kanan, even you guys come up with really good plans when needed. I can't do any of that stuff. I knew how to fight, but now that my powers are gone how am I supposed to do that well." You said looking away from Ezra.

"Woah, woah, woah, let me stop you right there. You are a vital part of this team, this family. And just because you think you don't contribute anything other than your lightsaber doesn't make it true. I can't tell you how many messes you've gotten us out of with your quick thinking, how many problems your creative mind help fix for everybody on this ship, constantly. And you're a fierce warrior with and without your saber."

"Ezra." You sighed.

"You are needed here, and I won't let you think otherwise. And I will repeat myself everyday until you believe it, if I have to." Ezra finished as he softly cups your cheek and turn your head back towards him to look you in the eyes.

"Thanks, Ezra. But-"

"No buts." He said leaning forward pressing a soft kiss on your cheek, then another on your lips. "Now, let's forgive this out. Start from the beginning." And you did. You told him about everything that happened yesterday, and retracing your steps helped you realize the reason your powers are gone. You were still anxious and afraid, but with Ezra there you knew everything was going to turn out fine.

————————————————————

A/N: Finally finished I hope this isn't to cringe or anything. And hopefully this fulfilled your request. Thank you so much for sending in your request, and giving me a chance to bring your idea to life. I will now be heading to bed. Good night, guys.

Edit: But I did discover something from this mistake if you have a iPad and an iPhone you can copy something from said iPad and all you have to do is click ast on your iPhone and it’ll paste whatever it was from your iPad to your phone. I’m late Ik BUT it was such a life saver because I promise if I had to rewrite this whole fic out again without a reference (not that I didn’t enjoy writing it the first time) this fic was going to be my 13th reason. Hope you guys enjoy, toodles👋.

[fefe658]

Snakes and mice don't do well together [1]

Here it is! My first fic!

I'm finally writing my first piece of g/t literature, apart from my usual short posts/prompts. I hope you like it :]

'Cold, cold, cold. I must find shelter before it starts raining.'

Toby ventured trough the undergrowth of the forest, the dry leaves crunching under his feet. The frigid winter weather came sooner than he had expected, leaving him struggling to find shelter before he froze to death.

'Cold, cold, cold. Why couldn't winter wait another week?'

He shivered, the piercing winds being barely held back by his thin, ragged clothing. His tail wrapped around his leg to preserve as much body heat as possible, holding on so tightly that it almost cut off his circulation. He shoved aside the blades of grass that reached up to his chest, being an outside borrower certainly didn't make surviving the winter any easier.

He looked around, searching for anything sturdy enough to shield him from the elements. A tree stump, a hole in the ground, a-

A cave.

He stopped dead in his tracks, looking at the small entrance in the stone cliff in front of him. The cave seemed dark, but it was deep enough to protect him from the rain.

'God I hope there's nothing already in here. dealing with hypothermia is already enough.'

His numb feet slowly strode towards the entrance, a shiver running down his spine. If he was gonna stay here for a while, he had to find fresh water and a source of food. He could hear the faint sound of running water, so there should be a water source nearb-

His entire body goes still. He could've sworn he saw movement in his peripheral vision. He slowly turns his head towards the source, and his breathing goes silent.

A wall of scales, a tail as large as the biggest tree he's ever seen curled around itself.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid! Of course this cave wasn't empty! Why would anything pass up on a free place to sleep?'

The tail twitched, and the all the color drained from his face.

'I gotta get out of here, and quickly. I'm not gonna be snake food tonight. Better to risk dying in the cold than be eaten by some giant animal'

As he hurried himself towards the cave's entrance, he could hear the creature move.

'Shit Shit SHIT'-

The entrance was too far away, he knew he wouldn't make it in time. Instead, he opted for hiding behind a rock until the creature would go back to sleep or go away. Hopefully.

He couldn't see much from his hiding spot, so he tried to focus on the sounds as much as he could.

As expected, the creature didn't just fall back to sleep, instead deciding to around the cave, clearly looking for something. 'Great, just my luck.'

What he did NOT expect, was for a human-like voice to scare the shit out of him.

"Where are you?"

-------------------------------------------------

And there we go! My first fic, or at least, the first part of it. Will our teeny tiny friend be ok? Only time will tell!

This is the first literary piece I've ever written, so any feedback is more than welcome.

I hope you enjoyed and I also hope to get part 2 out before Christmas!

[jasntodds]

Caving In [5]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 10,370

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, mention of torture, mentions of previous homelessness, fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of bruises, a mention of a previous broken bone (Jason), mentions of abuse (nothing is in detail)

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I know this a week late but I couldn’t edit this last week so here we are!! I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The rest of the night passed in a blur. You hung out with Gar until eleven. You just watched two of his favorite movies and he gushed about them the whole time. You were pretty excited to start training with Jason but watching movies Gar helped the time pass by a lot quicker. It didn’t even really feel like you watched two movies. And you even felt bad about bailing on a third movie when it got later but you knew you’d be late if the two of you started another one. You promised you’d continue the marathon tomorrow though and that seemed to please him. So, you went to your room and waited out the extra hour.

Apparently, everyone is normally in bed around midnight if there isn’t something going on. Rachel went to bed two hours ago and you haven’t seen Dick since he checked on you and Gar around 10:30. Gar’s door is shut and there isn’t a light coming from under the door when you exit your room. You’ve always been more of a night owl, it’s always been the one time when you could be completely alone. Even in Gotham, the streets were quieter at night. It almost felt peaceful even but as you walk down the hallways and into the living room, you spot Gar sitting on his laptop on the couch.

“H-hey?” You ask as you get closer. “What��re you doing up?”

Gar looks at you with raised brows. “Couldn’t sleep, you?” He vividly remembers you saying you were going to bed and you don’t look panicked as if you had a nightmare again.

“Same.” You lie with a nod. “Walking sometimes helps.” You don’t like lying, but sometimes it has to be done. You want to trust him to not say anything, but you’re not really sure if you can. For all you know, he’ll run right to Dick and tell on you and Jason before training even starts.

“Do you want me to walk with you?” Gar’s hand goes to the top of the laptop as if to be ready to shut it.

You almost say yes because you like his company but this is a secret between you and Jason. Gar doesn’t seem like the type to disobey authority. You don’t want to drag him into a mess you and Jason are potentially causing for the next week or so. What he doesn’t know, can’t hurt him.

“I’m okay.” You say. “Thank you though, I’m just gonna….walk a bit but I’ll come get you if I change my mind.” Gar nods, understandingly, looking a little sad but confused by it. You didn’t decline after last night’s nightmare but you are now. He isn’t sure why, he feels like there’s something going on but it’s also none of his business so he doesn’t say anything.

You finish your walk to the training room, putting your guilt about lying to Gar in the back of your head. When you enter the room, Jason is right there, waiting. A part of you thought maybe he’d still be mad and stand you up. It’s a pleasant surprise that he’s actually here.

“Midnight.” You wiggle your phone, the screen lights up at Jason.

“Cutting it close.” Jason taunts with a mocking grin.

“Shut up.” You shake your head, walking up to him. “Where do we start?”

A chuckle leaves Jason’s throat, amused by your eagerness. Finally, someone else who gets it. “Have you ever punched someone?”

“A few times.” You shrug. “It wasn’t really my thing.” You scrunch your nose.

“How wasn’t it your thing?” Jason questions, his brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” Your eyes go left and then right, trying to figure out what he’s so confused about. Some people don’t like to punch other people in the face.

“Seems like you'd be into hitting people.” Jason chortles.

Your survival instincts is actually why he thinks that. The whole dealing with torture for a year thing, living on the streets of Gotham, your overall detached sarcastic attitude, it all makes him think you wouldn't be afraid to throw the first punch.

“Rude. No,” You shake your head with a laugh. “Like I said, people didn’t hate me and I wasn’t one to throw a punch. I talk a lot of shit for someone who’s only been in a handful of fistfights.” You shift your weight. “And….close hand-to-hand combat is a bit sketchy. Shit starts going south, you’re fucked. I threw knives.” You state nonchalantly, watching Jason's face contort in surprise. "People fear knives, everyone thinks they stand a chance in a fistfight."

Jason's brows knit together, trying to piece all of this together. “Knives???? And how did you manage that?” He didn't see that coming.

You shrug. “Guy at one of the shelters, he taught street kids how to defend themselves. Self defense and he had a thing for knives.”

Jason lets out this booming laugh, his head tilting back. “Yeah, uh, Knife Guy? Like, that’s what he was called, right? Shelter by the library?”

“Yeah,” You let out a shy laugh. “Yeah, white hair, scar across his left eye?”

There’s this feeling in the pit of your stomach you can’t identify knowing that Jason knows who you’re talking about. The guy had been around for years according to his stories and rumors. So, of course Jason would know who he is. But, it’s still weird because had any of yours and Jason’s circumstances changed within a year of each other, you likely would have run into each other. You wonder if you would have hated him or been too infatuated with him to focus on anything else if that had been the case. You settle on the feeling being bitterness.

“Yeah, that’s the guy.” Jason gives you this understanding smile. “Okay, so he taught you knives and how to punch?”

Jason didn't care much for the guy. He didn't really know what he was doing, even before Jason's training he knew that. But, it was better than nothing. Time and time again, Jason witnessed other kids who got picked up by dealers, by other kids, by scarier adults. A lot of kids knew to just start screaming bloody murder and it'd scare off the person because it draws too much attention, usually. But, other times, some sort of defense was needed and no one else was helping. Something is better than nothing, that's what Jason thinks anyway. But, the knives, the guy had a thing for that and he rarely ever missed.

“Kind of.” You shrug. "It was mostly knife work I learned from him. Let's be honest, him and the library are the only reason anyone actually goes to that shelter willingly." You grimaces. The staff kind of sucks there. They aren't very nice and the food is somehow worse at that shelter. But, beggars can't be choosers.

Jason walks over to the table containing throwing knives. He picks one up and flips the blade towards him, offering you the handle. “Let’s see what you got then.”

You smirk at him and it’s been a while. You’re not very confident in your ability to hit a target but you won’t let Jason know that.

“I am rusty, so remember that.” You chuckle, taking the knife from him and walking in front of the target. You aim as you were taught, realizing your vision is still a bit compromised but you take the throw anyway. It sticks at the very bottom of the target. “Well, fuck.” You groan.

“Not a sharpshooter that’s for sure.” Jason chuckles.

“Give me another!” You spin, glaring at him. Jason does as told and you spin around, arming again and this time, it’s closer but still far off from the bullseye.

“Least you get it on the target, I guess.” Jason teases you. “Maybe you should get some hand-to-hand in, might do you better.”

“Fuck off!” You grow annoyed and you were never a sharpshooter but this is ridiculous. You should be closer, at least. It’s why you chose the knives. You’re better at it but this is not it. You won’t let Jerry take this away from you either. “Give me another one.” Jason hands another one over, crossing his arms. He is a little impressed with you making it on the target. He can tell by how you move your arm, it hurts. It’s shaky when you pull back and you step into it with a shaky leg. That’s why you’re missing but Jason lets you throw again before saying anything. This one is worse than the first one. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” You groan, throwing your head back.

“Did you want some advice now? I mean, we can do this all night. It’s pretty funny but I could help.”

You stare straight ahead, rolling your eyes before turning to face him. "Enlighten me."

"You're in pain and you gotta fight through it." Jason picks up a knife, spinning it in his hands as if to show off. "Go faster. Stop thinking so hard about it. You always think that much? Cause, if you're in a fight, you don't get that."

"No!" You yells to defend yourself. "Of course, not but I haven't done it in a while and yeah, it’s kind of painful." Usually, when you were to throw a knife, there wasn’t a lot of thought, not after a while. Your eyes and arms just worked together. Again, it’s not that you were a sharpshooter or anything, but your movements were fluid and you usually hit whatever you were trying to, even if it wasn’t a perfect target. But, this is different. It feels like you’re starting over in a way because hitting this stationary target that isn’t even that far away should have been easier.

"So?" Jason challenges you. "It should be like getting on a bike." His eyes widen as he stands toe to toe with you, dangling the knife. "Just throw it." His grin is taunting and you keep your eyes narrowed at him.

You take the knife from him and does what he says. You don't think about it and just spin around, throwing the knife just as it comes into view. The knife sticks just a few inches from the bullseye and you get this smile on your face that’s drenched in pride and relief while Jason's is proud.

He can’t help the way his heart skips a beat with the smile on your face or with the way you spin back around, confidence oozing from you. Your eyes are bright and this is the first time you look genuinely happy. Jason’s stomach flips as you eye him with pride and in the moment, a subconscious part of him swears he never wants to see you anything but happy and proud.

"See? Stop thinking so fucking much." Jason chortles, brushing off the bubbles in his stomach.

"That how you function?" You quip, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jason shrugs. "Working pretty well." He spreads his arms out. "Robin."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." You let out a sigh.

He has a point. But, you hope that maybe he'll be really good at this training. But, you both can stick it to Dick and maybe it'll be a way, in a roundabout kind of way, for Jason to show Dick what he can do. Maybe that'll be enough for Bruce. You can train carefully but successfully. You think it should be enough because while you have so far been enjoying his company, the way he just beams like the morning sun when he mentions Robin, you want him to be able to get back to that. You don’t have to know him in depth or for very long to know he deserves it.

"No bad though." Jason nods his head at you.

"Was that a compliment?" You wiggle your brows at him.

"Yeah, fuck off." Jason chuckles softly as he looks to the floor and back to you. "Alright, you wanna do that or you wanna fight?"

"Fight." You answer, the smile falling from your face as you nod at him once. You'll get back into knife throwing when you can train with everyone else. You were always better at it.

Jason walks to the center of the floor, you following him but keeping your distance. "Do you do know how to punch someone?"

"Assume so." You shrug. "Knife Guy did teach me that."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Show me."

You hesitate but walk towards him anyway and make a fist and punch him lightly in the arm. Jason bursts out laughing and you can't be serious.

"That's a joke, right?"

"I don't want to actually p--"

"I can't train you if I don't know if you can even punch someone. Aren't you still mad at me from earlier?" Jason questions. He was sure you’d be okay with a friendly sparring session. He didn’t think you were actually someone who didn’t like to punch people.

You shrug a shoulder. "I don't have many grudges."

"Start, it'll help." Jason quips, there’s a roughness to his voice and you wonder what grudges he’s hiding. "Just fucking hit me, it's not like it's gonna be worse than anything I've had before."

You roll your eyes but do as he says, actually putting some force into it and Jason just blinks at you. He can't tell if you just don't know what you’re doing or if you’re weak as a person or if being malnourished has made you weak and that's why you suck at this. You’re going to be a part of the team and he's gotta get you to be stronger than this if your powers aren't going to be fool proof like Dick likes to think.

"That's pathetic." Jason nods.

"Thank you. I used to pride myself in not being very violent." You scoff.

"You're a Titan." Jason almost pleads.

"That's why I'm here so you can teach me to be more violent and actually kick ass. I'm not who I was before. I said used to." You only acted in self defense, life or death, scared situations. But, you want to be ready for anything. Act first, think later kind of mentality from now on.

For a second, Jason wonders if this is a good idea. He wasn't a super violent person before Robin either. He's had his share of fistfights, of course, nothing on this planet will get Jason to shut the fuck up and people don't normally find it charming. He had no choice. It's always kill or be killed. But being Robin gave him a free pass to kick ass. Sure, the criminals all deserved it and it was mostly under the watchful eye of Bruce, but it was a free pass and maybe some of that went to his head like when he beat up a bunch of cops when he was helping Dick. Does he want to put someone else through that? Is that what Dick meant with all that talk about not being Robin? Jason can't imagine another life, sure he fights more but it's also the most himself he's ever felt and there's a sense of feeling complete being Robin. Maybe that's just one of the consequences of finding yourself, losing a part of yourself.

"I'm also injured." You continue. "I could punch harder if it didn't hurt."

"Okay. I'm gonna teach you how to throw a punch and a proper kick then we're gonna spar." Jason explains, earning raised brows from you. "So, I can see what you can do and what you can't right now. It'll be easier for me to figure shit out, not gonna push you too far."

"Alright." You agree. "Show me, then."

Jason walks you over to the punching bag and takes your hand in his and you can't help but notice the difference between how his hand feels compared to Gar's. It's cold, more calloused. It's rough like all he does is beat his fists into things which by the looks of the fading bruises on his knuckles, that is all he does.

He makes a fist with your hand and then stands behind you, using his feet to move yours in a proper position. His hands are on your hips and there's a second where his heart stutters. He convinces himself it’s because he just doesn’t want to get caught and you’re just starting. It’s not because his hands are on your hips and you look over your shoulder at him with nothing but endearment.

Your stomach flips under his touch and you don't know what the flipping in your stomach is. You can't even tell if you like it. It's different than the flipping with Gar because this feels....like adrenaline. It's a rush like running through the streets at night, the sky cloudy and the air muggy but something feels so good about it. Refreshing even. But Gar is a calming and comforting flip, butterflies even. He's the safety of a house after being out late at night, where the bed is the most welcoming place on earth. Jason makes you want to go skydiving, something you'd never do in a million years and Gar makes you want to curl up by a fire with hot chocolate and a pet dog.

"You're gonna wanna move your hips when you punch, gives you more momentum, stronger punch." Jason explains as he walks in front of you.

"Like this?" You throw a punch and the bag moves.

"Yeah, like that." Jason gives you a soft and proud smile, something you never thought you'd see coming from him. "Keep going but try putting more force into, as much as you can."

You do as you’re told and Jason gives a few pointers here and there on your form. But overall, you aren't doing too bad given your lack of experience and it makes Jason feel important. It's the first time since leaving Bruce that he feels important. Someone needs him. It's for fighting, but needs him nonetheless and he's doing a good job helping you. It feels really good. And after a few minutes of you hitting the bag, he feels it's time to show you how to kick properly without breaking a toe.

Jason does a few examples and you always thought the kicks of any type of fighting look so ridiculous when there isn't a person at the receiving end. Jason makes them look a little less ridiculous though and you follow his lead. You try to do what he does and he tells you what you’re doing wrong and what you’re doing right. He's surprisingly good at constructive criticism. Dick might not like what Bruce turned him and Jason into but as far as you’re concerned, they were taught well otherwise Jason wouldn't have any idea what constructive criticism even is and would just be badgering you about what you’re doing wrong.

"So," Jason starts as you grab a drink of water after a few rounds of kicks and punching bag hits. "How's this gonna work with your whole...combat thing you do?" Jason asks. "Because part of this is teaching you how to block but if you can dodge everything already?"

You shrug. "I can try to ignore it?" You offer.

"Is that something you can actually fucking do?" Jason quips with a chuckle.

"I don't fucking know." You laugh. "Probably, I did for a while with Jerry."

It’s not something easy to ignore. It’s kind of like trying to ignore a raging migraine. It doesn’t hurt but it’s throbbing and it’s annoying. But, you’ve done it before in a far worse situation. Jason, you know he’s not gonna hurt you. This is just training, some (Jason) might even say this is just fun. So, you think ignoring it might be helpful for right now but you swear you can’t make a habit of it.

The acid is one thing, it’s not something you like very much but the combat clairvoyance is nice. It’s useful and no one would ever know that’s what it is. But a part of you worries that if you ignore it enough, it won’t be as effective. The last thing you want is to be stuck with powers and then the one you like to not even work properly because you spent too much time ignoring it.

Jason nods. "Right. Alright, well, I won't actually try to hit you hard." Jason huffs but there's still a smile pulling at his lips. "Not a fair fight."

"Ha-ha." You mock. "No, that's fair." You laughs softly.

"You just have to block me, that's it." Jason shrugs as if it’s the easiest sentence he’s ever said. Something tells you blocking Jason isn’t going to be that easy even with him not trying very hard.

"Okay." You rest your water bottle down and follow Jason to the center of the room.

Jason takes position and you mimic what he's doing, not really understanding the purpose but roll with it anyway. It gains you a smirk and a head shake from Jason before he asks if you’re ready. You nod and Jason moves towards you, the sparring starting.

You feel the throbbing of the back of your head with Jason coming at you. It's throbbing and aching, a constant state of feeling like someone waking you up banging pots and pans right against your ears but you push through it. Ignoring the signals from the back of your head, you use your arms to block him to the best of your ability. It's not much actually but you saw him spar with Gar and Rachel earlier, he's holding back a lot. He's slower and there's almost no strength in his punches or his kicks. He's being careful not to hurt you and there's something really nice and reassuring about it. He just wants to help. But then you miss one of the blocks as Jason's leg comes up, connecting with your right flank.

You let out a scream and drop to the floor, holding your side. Jason stands in shock, questioning how it hurt that bad because he swears he didn't kick you hard, it was more of just a tap.

"Fuck, are you okay?" Jason moves to his knees in front of you, you hunching over, fighting back tears as the stinging intensifies.

Your eyes are slammed shut with your forehead pressed against the floor but you give him a thumbs up. "Fine, I...I'm...I'm fine."

"I-I'm sorry." Jason mumbles. "I didn't--" His hand is hovering over your shoulder, not sure what to do or how he can help.

"Not your fault." You cut him off, your words sharp and short, not mad. "Fuck." You look up to him, your eyes a little red.

"Let me see--"

"No." You shake your head. "It's fine...I just...need....a minute." Your words are breathy as the pain makes your heart race.

"Y/n, I'm really sorry." Jason apologizes with sad eyes wreaking of guilt.

"It's a bruise, not your fault, didn't tell you how bad." You mumble, as you try regain your breath, the pain fading just a bit.

"How fucking bad is that bruise? It should be getting better by now." Jason's voice raises with touches of anger and worry.

He's pissed you didn't tell him how bad the bruise still was. He still would have helped you but he would have minded his kicks and punches a lot more. He would have avoided that side. You were going easy enough that it would have been simple for him. He'd never hurt you on purpose. And he can only assume it's the boot print. It's the one bruise you specifically mentioned and bruises in the shape of boot are usually pretty bad and linger but he thought you'd tell him if it were that bad.

You suck in a breath as the stinging fades a bit more. "Pretty bad, I guess." You mutter. "Didn't think it'd be a big deal."

"That worked out real fucking well." Jason groans. You dodge his eyes and Jason feels guilty. It's not really his fault but you just wanted to train. If anyone would understand that, it's him.

You go quiet for a second and you feel bad but you’re just desperate. Being hurt makes your feel weaker and you hate feeling weak. You know that it's okay not feel completely okay and take time to heal an injury but you just don't think you have that kind of time. It's terrifying knowing Jerry is still out there, even if he stands no chance against the Titans. It doesn't matter because he's out there probably living his best life and you just want to live yours.

"I-I'm sorry." You mutter out, still dodging Jason's eyes. "I-I...I, uh, I don't like feeling weak and, ya know?" Your brows furrow. "Um..." Your jaw clenches. "Telling you how bad it is, it's just admitting it to myself and I don't...I don't want to do that." Your eyes finally lock on Jason's and his heart sinks.

He lets out a sigh and rests his forearm on his knee. "You're not weak, alright? Some dickwad did that to you, alright?" He shakes his head and something about you make it really easy to open up. It's easy for him to open to Gar because Gar doesn't judge. He just lets him talk and that's kind of what you do but you offer this sense of genuine understanding, even with stealing the hubcaps off the Batmobile. You're plenty different but on the surface you're so similar Jason finds it easy to talk to you. "I got hurt once, as Robin." Jason states.

"What happened?" You ask.

Jason's jaw clenches. "I didn't listen to Bruce, it got me a little hung out." Jason explains. "I broke my collarbone. It sucked because had I listened to Bruce it wouldn't have happened and then he benched me until it was healed, obviously." Jason scoffs as if to still be mad about it and you have a hunch he's madder about not being able to be Robin than he is about the broken bone. "I tried to train with it broken though." Jason lets out a laugh. "Bruce caught me and it got fucking ugly, he was pissed." There's a simple smile on Jason's face. "So, I get it, alright? But, if you don't tell me, I can't help you. I know how fucking keen you are to tell people shit, but this would help."

"Thanks, Jay." You say and Jason's heart flutters, no one's ever called him that before. He likes it when you say it. You let out a sigh and decide to show him the bruise. "Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Do promises mean something to you?" Jason asks, his voice slightly snarky.

"Yeah, of course. All we have is our word. They don't mean anything to you?"

Too many people have promised Jason things over the years and none of those promises ever worked. His dad promised he'd be there for him, always, because his mom was down and out. Then he was an idiot working with Two-Face and got himself killed. His uncle promised to take care of him and then drank himself to death. Cops promised he'd be okay but he hasn't felt okay a day in his life, not until he put on the Robin suit but that was because of Bruce and because Jason took his life into his own hands. And now it's been tugged away from him. Social workers promised they'd find a really good home for him. They didn't. Teachers promised they would help but they gave up on him. No one's ever been up to the task of really and truly helping him but they all promised they would. They all promised he wouldn't be alone. So, no, Jason Todd doesn't believe in promises.

"No." He scoffs, keeping it short. "People say they promise just to get shit from you."

Your eyes are sad and your heart breaks for him. You don't really know him all that well but you know everyone else is wrong about him. You can tell. No one gives him a chance to be good but you will. You don't trust anyone either, not after everything. It's so easy to break trust and nearly impossible to get it back but you want to trust people again and you want Jason to trust people, trust you. You trust him.

"I won't make a promise to you I can't keep or make a promise just to get something from you." Your voice is small, filled with candor but you keep your eyes locked on Jason's and suddenly it all feels a little too real for him. He feels like you’ve put him under a microscope and is looking for signs of a deadly disease.

"That a promise?" Jason quips back, a bite in his voice but you don't take the bait.

"Promise." You nod your head just once. "I keep my promises. I've never broken a single one."

You’re this puzzle he can't figure out, something of a Rubix cube. He doesn't understand why you even care. You don't even know him but you treat him better than people who've known him his entire life. A part of him even thinks it's some sort of prank, he's waiting for the cameras to come out and say he's being Punk'd. But, your eyes are sincere and warm and welcoming. He drown into you if you'd let him.

"Alright," Jason sucks in a breath. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

You shift carefully so your flank is facing Jason. You lift up your shirt just enough to show him the bruise. Jason's jaw nearly drops as his brows furrow and pain shoots through his entire body. The bruise is, in fact, a boot. He can see the tread and he thinks about old episodes of CSI and how they'd use shoe prints to pin the killer. He swears they could do that with this shoot print because it's so vivid and he wants to know how you didn't have any internal bleeding over it. The whole bruise is dark. It looks agonizing and maybe Dick was right about you not training.

"Shit." Jason lets out a breath as you pull your shirt down and face him.

"Yeah...it kind of hurts."

"No, shit." Jason huffs. "That's..." Jason pauses he swears that he would hunt down Jerry himself right now if it weren't for you sitting in front of him. "I hope you get to hunt him the fuck down one day." His jaw is clenched and it makes you smile.

"Yeah, you and me both." You let out a half-laugh half-scoff.

Jason lets out this dry laugh, his blood boiling. It's just not fair and Jason knows life isn't fair but it should be for you. "I'm serious, I'll hunt him down if you don't want to."

You give him a large smile. "I appreciate it but he's my battle. It's why I don't why you tell Dick. I'll find him one day."

"You'll have the best training in the world." Jason holds his head up high giving you a cocky grin. "I'll make sure the fuck doesn't stand a chance against you."

You almost forgot what it's like to have someone so protective of you. The only person who was ever like that was your mom but it never resorted to something like this. It was just that one time with your dad showing up and the usual things like defending you against nosy soccer moms or putting her arm across you when she had to slam on the brakes in the car too quickly. This is different because Jason doesn't know you but he'd protect you anyway.

"As I said, you're not so bad, Jason Todd." You grin at him.

"Told ya, I'm the best." Jason boasts.

"Yeah, I'll give it to you...this one time." You laugh softly.

"It won't be the last, babe." Jason quips and you roll your eyes. If it were anyone else, the arrogance that radiates off him like bad cologne would be annoying. But, it’s cute on him.

"Mhm, whatever you say, BaBe." You mock him, widening your eyes.

Jason lets out a laugh and you think he's cute when he laughs. You wish he did it more. "Alright, come on." Jason moves to your left side and pulls your arm, putting it around his neck. "We're gonna some ice on it before it gets worse."

You look up at him. "You're not mad, are you?" He doesn't seem mad anymore but you just want to make sure.

"No." Jason shakes his head. "But can you fucking tell me next time?"

"You got it, boss." You give him a thumbs up, standing up with him and wincing with the movement of getting to your feet.

the two of you start your walk, opting to remain quiet this time. You feel safe with him. His grip is tight around you, but not too tight. He’s holding you close to him and you swear he’s probably the safest person in the world. Jason, though, he just feels understood. He thinks if he offered to help Rachel, he wouldn’t but if did, she’d cringe or make some nasty comment about it. But, you, it’s like you just get it and of course, Gar gets it, too. The two of you understand him better than anyone ever has. In this moment, Jason swears to himself that if it comes down to it, the people he’d save over anything and everyone, including himself, are you and Gar.

With every step, you wince and you’re starting to understand why Dick wanted you to wait. You'll never admit that he was right because you’re too prideful for that but you get it now because this pain is horrendous. You knew it would hurt if you got hit but you highly underestimated just how much. And because that wasn't bad enough, Gar is still planted on the couch when the two of you enter the living room. Jason and you freeze for a second as Gar makes eye contact with you.

Busted.

"What are you...what...what happened?" Gar gets up from his seat as concern coats his words, you and Jason just standing there, at a loss for words. "Are you okay?" Gar asks you before looking to Jason and then back to you.

"I'm fine, Gar." You pull your arm away from Jason's neck and make your way to the couch, favoring your right side. Gar follows you while Jason goes to the freezer for an icepack.

Gar sits on the coffee table in front of you. "He didn't....?" Gar asks, knowing full well that Jason would never but needed some type of reassurance.

You sigh knowing you can't hide everything from him, he already knows too much and if he goes to Dick about it, this whole thing will blow up more. You do not want to get anyone in trouble.

"You can't tell Dick, okay?" You ask and Gar nods while Jason comes back, handing the ice pack to you as he takes a seat on the coffee table in front of you. "Jason is helping me train since Dick won't let me yet."

"That's stupid." Gar states, mostly referring to the both of you teaming up to do this. Dick just has your best interests at heart and Jason should know that better than anyone.

"That's what I said." Jason adds in.

You narrow your eyes at him. "You agreed to it." You mutter. "I neglected to tell him about a bruise and he tapped it."

"Tapped?" Gar questions.

"Swear, I barely touched her."

"Yeah," You shrug. "It's just, uh, it's pretty bad, I guess." You look down before looking at Jason as if begging him not to tell Gar further details about it. You want to spare him the sight of it. "It's a shoe print so." You clear your throat.

"Holy shit." Gar mumbles, shaking his head.

"Yeah," You suck in a breath. "I thought it'd be fine but it is not. The others are healing fine, a little faster than I expected actually but this one is just taking a little longer, I guess." You shrug your shoulders. "So, it was just an accident."

Gar sits for a second, obviously, he knew it was bad. He looks at your face every day. But a vivid shoe print on your side seems to have crossed a line he didn't know he even had. He's pissed and Gar isn't someone that gets pissed often. How can someone do this to you? You’ve got a smartass mouth but that's not a reason to do that to someone. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, no one deserves that and there's a part of him that almost wants to hunt the guy down.

Jason, on the hand, kind of wants you to show Gar. As he said, whatever Gar imagines is going to be worse than what it actually is. And Jason knows from first had experience that Gar isn't going to make it weird or anything. He'll just be understanding and maybe even he'll want to find the guy. But, Gar would actually understand more why you want to train. However, Jason isn't going to say anything. He promised.

"Okay," You nod your head finding the silence and wide eyes from Gar a bit uncomforting. "You're making it a little weird."

"Sorry." Gar apologizes, shaking his head. "It's just pretty messed up."

"It's fucked." Jason locks a knowing stare with you, matching the conversation you had the night before. "Piece of shit doesn't deserve to walk around free."

"We're not going after him, Dick will kill us." Gar protests though, if Jason or you went after him, he can't blame either of you. Even before knowing about this bruise, he wouldn't have blamed you.

"No one is going after him." You state. "If anyone were going to, it would be me. I said I don't hold many grudges. This isn't a grudge, it's vengeance, karma. Eye for an eye. My eye for an eye, no one else's. But the plan is not to seek him out, just be prepared if he seeks me out."

"Is that why you're training?" Gar asks.

"Gotta be prepared." You dodge his stare and Gar gets you wanting to search the tower a little more now. You’re fully convinced he'll come looking for you if he finds out you’re alive. If you’re alive and you start telling people what happened and who did it, he'll be fucked.

"The guy still deserves the same shit he did to you and then some." Jason remarks.

"Yeah, well, he's also not my fucking problem." It’s harsh but it’s also true. It’s very fresh and maybe in a few months, you’ll feel differently about it. But, for right now, he is not your problem. He isn’t your problem unless he comes looking for you.

Gar's attention snaps back to you with the comment. "What if he does it to someone else?" Gar asks, almost feeling like siding with Jason.

You shake your head. "I'm not seeking him out. I spent a year trying to escape and I won't risk it again." You’re being candid with the two of them and you don't feel too bad about it, actually. The both of them together make it easier. Gar has the calmness and level-headedness you need whereas Jason is the hot-headed one that you prefer in conversations like this, probably because you like the idea of killing Jerry. "I'm not...trying to be a bitch but.....did you do anything about that doctor?"

Gar shakes his head. "But he didn't do that," He gestures toward you. "To any of us. This is different."

"I guess." You shrug, readjusting the ice pack. "Look, I don't want anyone to know how bad it was, okay? I tell you two because I happen to really like the both of you and talking to you. I don't want anyone else to know how bad shit got, alright? Any of it, okay?" You plead with them and Jason nods along, he doesn't like people knowing the deep and dirty secrets his heart carries either.

"Why not?" Gar asks. "If Dick knows, he can help catch him."

Of course, to some extent, he can understand it. It's something that's hard to talk about. Talking about trauma is never easy. He remembers Jason finally breaking down and telling him stuff, he did in a very matter-of-fact way which just made Gar worry about him. But, after a little bit, Jason had a real conversation about it and why he doesn't like to talk about. It makes it real, people look at him differently. You and Jason are so much alike it seems that Gar wonders if that's how you feel about it, too. If so, he wishes you didn't because talking and letting people in, does help. Gar would know.

You admire Gar's endless optimism but you’re a glass-half-empty kind of person. "You know how people say trauma makes you strong?" Gar nods. "It doesn't, it just desensitizes you. Not feeling anything is not a strength, it's a weakness. Being terrified of sleeping and letting your guard down for more than a minute, that's not strength. I will not look weak to anyone, ever again so fucking help me." Your stare is harsh and your mouth is pressed into a straight line.

Listening to someone say they don't feel anything besides a sense of fear and paranoia, it's not something Gar has heard before even if that is how someone has felt. He can't imagine the kind of pain must put someone through. He didn't really get it until now and maybe now he understands why it was easy for you to talk to Jason. Jason seems like he doesn't feel much, Gar seems like he feels too much. He gets why you don't want anyone to know, as much as it pains him, he'll swear he won't tell anyone.

"Okay." Gar nods.

"Thanks, guys." You suck in a breath. "I'll be fine, like, really. It'll fade and one day I'll be okay but I'm not close to that yet." You show some slight optimism.

You aren't sure you believe the words you said or not but looking at the concerned faces of both boys, you felt like you needed to say something. You don't want them thinking you’re about to jump off a building or something because that's not it either. You do feel safe here and while you aren't sure if you'll recover from everything, you do know there's a chance if you’re here with these two because they make life after the trauma look appealing and fun again. They make it look like you can move past it, either in a heroic, aggressive way or in a happy-go-lucky way. They make it seem possible and that's all you really need.

"If I ever see him though," Jason starts, not thrilled with the idea of letting this piece of shit just be free. Maybe that's the issue with being a Titan for him, he wants the fight and Dick won't let him. At least Bruce let him fight. "I'll kill him."

"How do you even know what he looks like?" You ask, narrowing your eyes and you catch Gar stiffen in front to you as Jason’s eyes glance to Gar. "Oh my gosh, did you like, Google me or whatever?"

"No, we didn't fucking Google you." Jason quips, his eyes slightly narrowed. They did not Google you.

"Research me? Using some type of Wayne tech?" You retort. "You know what I mean."

"Well..." Jason gains this sly smirk and he's not all that apologetic about it. There's not a doubt in his mind if the roles were reversed, you would have done it, too.

"We just wanted to make sure you weren't here to kill us." Gar says apologetically.

"Wait, so, you guys knew this whole time and didn't say anything?"

"We're sorry." Gar apologizes for the both of them while Jason just shrugs. Gar gives him a dirty look.

"Sorry we ran your blood through the computer." Jason's tone is almost mocking, he isn't all that sorry about it. He feels a little bad about the invasion of privacy, especially since you did actually tell him what happened. But, it was for the safety of the Titans, or so he tells himself.

Your face contorts and you can't really tell if you want to be mad about it or not. On the one hand, that's an invasion of privacy. Did Dick also do that? Is that why he's so trusting? But, on the other hand, you would have done the same thing and getting mad would just make you a hypocrite. Though you have questions about why they were so confident to use your blood. But, that’s an entirely different thing to unpack that, in all honesty, you didn't even wanna know.

"I...okay." You shake your head, choosing to move on from it. "So...why didn't you guys just say you knew?"

It's Gar who shrugs and speaks up before Jason can have some sarcastic quip. "We didn't want you to know and make you uncomfortable and we weren't really sure what happened. That's not actually in the file."

"We figured." Jason says, looking away from you.

"Ahh." You say. "Anyone else with you two?"

Gar shakes his head. "Just us." Gar clears his throat. "Rachel, knew though. We didn't tell her anything though."

"Hmm." Your eyes narrow for just a quick second. Rachel knew the boys were going to look up who you are and didn't tell you? Alright then. But, you don't say anything about it. Gar is at least her friend so maybe she didn't want to throw him under the bus for someone she doesn't even know.  "Well, since you already took it upon yourselves to look into me," You suck in a breath. "Anything you actually want to know that I haven't said already?"

Gar looks at Jason and they're both almost certain this is some sort of trap. They're not entirely sure how but it has to be. You can't possibly be open to just discussing whatever questions they have about anything prior to coming here. You haven't been that open about anything. But Jason takes it as a challenge, if it's a trap, he'll walk right into it.

"How'd you end up in the system?" Jason asks, jerking his head up slightly. He kind of assumes it's the whole breaking into cars thing but he's curious.

"Busted breaking into a car because no one told me that hubcaps were the smarter option." You give Jason a joking glare, your voice holding tints of sarcasm. "I fucking tripped, can you believe that? Pavement was slick and I slipped." You let out a laugh.

When it happened, it was definitely not funny. It was disappointing and you felt like a failure. But, tonight, there's a part of it that you find funny. You ran those streets a million times in the pouring rain and never had any issues but that one night, you slipped. It's so dumb.

"Fell from a fence." Jason laughs.

"You guys tried to escape from the system?" Gar looks between the two of you. Of course, seeing what you’ve been through so far, he gets it but the entire system can't possibly be like that.

"You guys tried to escape from the system?" Gar looks between the two of you. Of course, seeing what you’ve been through so far, he gets it but the entire system can't possibly be like that.

"Fuck yes." You and Jason say simultaneously.

"Clearly," You continue. "I had the right idea."

"Yeah, foster care is a fucking joke even if it's not as bad as what's his face." Jason shakes his head. He's had his fair share of time spent in foster homes and most of them weren't that bad. But, it wasn't the best time of his life either.

"Assuming you never got the lovely experience?" You ask Gar.

Gar shakes his head. "I went with Dr. Cauldon when I got better after he fixed me."

You offer him a sweet smile. "You're lucky." You clear your throat. "Uh, I mean, there are a lot of foster homes and stuff that aren't bad, of course, right? I mean, I met someone who ended up in a really good home. It's just..." You scrunch your face, trying to figure out how to phrase it.

"Do you want to take the risk in ending up in a bad one?" Jason asks the rhetorical question, finishing your thought.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Yeah, I knew a few people who ended up fine in their foster homes. So, it's not horrible but when it treats you like shit..." Jason turns his head at Gar.

"You turn a little bitter towards the system as a whole because the system should be in place to protect us. But, I was better off on the streets." You set the ice pack on the couch beside you. "So, I mean, you're lucky you didn't have to navigate it."

"I'm seeing that." Gar lets out a breath.

Lucky was never a word Gar would have used to describe himself. His parents die of a mysterious disease, he also gets the mysterious disease and the only way to survive was through a weird doctor. Then, he gets better and he's not even allowed to leave the manor. Of course, he did anyway but he wasn't supposed to. It's not like it was horrible at Doom Manor or anything because it wasn't but it also wasn't freedom or very fun. It was just existing to Gar and he never considered that to be lucky, not until meeting the Titans anyway. They've all had pretty horrible lives, actually, the more Gar thinks about it.

“So, any other questions?" You ask, mostly looking at Gar.

He has one but he's not sure if it's really appropriate. He mostly just wants to know what happened before Dick found you. Did Jerry really just leave you there alive and if so, why? Did he actually think you were dead? He's just curious how it all happened, he's glad it did but he wonders. On the other hand though, he doesn't want this to get uncomfortable or weird, although you seem to be comfortable with Jason asking questions.

"Did, uh, he really just leave you in that alley?" Gar asks.

"Uh..." You stutter, brows furrowed. You don't have much memory of it, actually.  "It's kind of hard to remember." You suck in a breath and suddenly you’re nervous. Something about Gar asking makes you nervous, maybe it's because even when Jason is serious, you have a hard time taking him seriously where Gar, despite the quirkiness and softness and smiles, when he asks, he always seems serious. "I tried to come up with a plan for awhile to escape but I was always chained up and I didn't get to develop super strength or anything. Um....so...." You shake your head, wishing you had a hoodie on suddenly, feeling too exposed. "I figured it was do or die at some point." Your head hangs and you remember the day you made your decision.

It was a regular day for you, chained in the basement and injected with something new. Jerry got mad and that led to the same old situation. This time though, it broke you. There wasn’t anything different about it but it broke you. The exhaustion had finally set in and you were tired. You knew you’d give up soon, you could feel it in your blood so you hatched a half-assed plan.

"Let me preface this by saying that I didn't want to die, not really. I was just exhausted from it all and I needed to get out of there because he was gonna kill me at some point." You state looking between the boys and you feel the mental fatigue deep in your brain like a permanent virus just waiting to be activated again. "I-I decided I'd piss him off real bad one day." You say through gritted teeth, Gar and Jason hung onto every word.

The energy has shifted. It always felt light-hearted despite the seriousness of the discussion. You were joking and so was Jason, Gar giving you looks of disbelief but this is not that. Sometimes what the mind can do to someone is worse than anything someone else can physically cause.

"I knew he'd get really mad and one of two things would happen. One: either he would kill me and I'd be out of my fucking misery."

Gar winces at the thought, that's what you thought about? Having him kill you? And Jason can't fathom it. No amount shit he's been through has pushed him that far. He knew, of course, because you told him but it was very casual. This story while the same as the singular sentence you said about it, feels drastically different and far more upsetting than it did before.

"Or two: he'd beat me so bad he'd think I was dead and dump me somewhere." You tilt your head to the right. "It was risky and not calculated but to be honest, I did not give a flying fuck what would happen. Guess, he thought I was dead and now I'm here." You shrug. "I got good at staying calm so I didn't fight back. In a way, I supposed I faked my death." You scoff as you roll your eyes.

The room falls silent as you finish and you feel like you said way too much. You didn't mean to go that in-depth about it but you kept looking at Gar and his sad eyes and you just couldn't help it. He wanted honesty and you couldn't not give it to him, not with the look on his face. But, now you regret it because the look of sorrow on his face feels like it's going to be permanent when he looks at you and that's the last thing you wanted. And even Jason is just silent. The kid is literally never silent. He just said what you did was badass last night but apparently giving context, changes the attitude about it.

"As I said, I didn't want to die. It just...ya know?" You furrow your brows, dodging your eyes from the boys as you think of how to form your words. "You hit this breaking point at some point where you just can't take it anymore and that's the do or die moment and sometimes that's literal. It was for me. Do or die because I just could not do it anymore. I wanted to escape if that.... clarifies anything. I...I just wasn't....given more options."

"Why didn't you use your powers? You said it's because you were afraid he was going to kill you but if that was the plan anyway..." Gar's voice is raised a little like he's upset by what you did which, is fair. But, he's known you for three days and he doesn't have a right to be upset by it.

"I wanted to escape." You state, sympathizing with him being upset by it. "If I used my powers and he happened to have some, too, he'd definitely have killed me. That was the only way I could see to have a shot to live outside of that fucking basement."

"That's so fucked." Jason shakes his head and it's the same reaction he's had all night but is there anything else to say about it? It's all fucked.

"You've said that." You nod.

"It is. Still think it's badass you just took it though." Jason shrugs, not quite sure how to process any of it and Gar is taking it very seriously. Based on what you've told Jason, he thinks maybe you’ll shut down if something quick-witted or sarcastic or snarky isn’t said.

Gar gives Jason a disapproving look. It's not badass, not to Gar. It's sad. No one should be out there just shrugging off their possible death to escape a bad situation. Jason was at least right about it being fucked. But it's more than that. There is a deep, almost unbearable ache in Gar's chest looking at you and realizing that most of the bruises he can see, including the ones you normally have covered up, are all new. Most of them seem to be turning into shades indictive of healing though, which is good. It's hitting him how fresh of all that still is to you and maybe you’re right that trauma doesn't make people strong but to Gar, you are. To deal with that and come out the other end, willing to trust him and Jason now, after three days is incredible.

You don't seem desensitized talking to them. It's trust and while he wants to do everything in his power to protect you, he also admires you because he knows he could never have made that life-or-death decision. He would have fought to get out or just taken whatever was given to him.

"Please, don't apologize." You say, looking at Gar. You know he's going to, he has the whole time and you don't want or need it. It doesn't make any of it better. "It's not something--" You’re cut off as Gar just pulls you into a hug and your eyes widen.

The hug is gentle like he's afraid if he gives you a proper hug maybe you'll shatter into a million pieces like fragile porcelain. But it's how he knows to communicate best and it's better than apologizing again or just echoing Jason. This is something distantly Gar. And you have a sad smile as you hug him back and you do like his hugs. They're comforting and he's so warm. You wonder if that's just a Gar thing or if it's the mutant part of him that makes him so warm. But you like how it quiets the roaring in your head like a tunnel muffling the sounds of rain. You like that you can feel the warmth through your bones, the constant ache of just existing eases and you don't really want him to let go. But then he does because hugs don't last forever.

"Thanks." Your smile is shy as you look at him while he pulls away and Gar's cheeks burn.

Jason has one furrowed brow, Gar glancing over to him. "Don't fucking hug me." You burst out laughing as Jason looks a little too serious. Sometimes Gar gets into a mushy mood and Jason will never admit it, but he does kind of like when Gar gets like that. But, he’s trying very hard to break the tension in the room.

"Why would I hug you?" Gar scoffs through a laugh. Jason looks like he would murder anyone that showed any type of physical affection toward him right now. Gar isn't stupid.

"Way to ruin a moment, Jason." Your laugh starts to subside.

"You're welcome." Jason huffs, a smirk on his lips.

He didn't really ruin a moment exactly, he did however, break the tension. Shattered, actually. The sadness in the air disappeared with his single comment. Though, you wish you could have known where it would have went with Gar after the hug, just what he would have had to say if anything. But you won't complain for a good laugh.

"So, back at it tomorrow night?" Jason asks, cornered smirk at you.

"Fuck yeah." You agree and Gar lets out a defeated sigh. He can tell you two are going to cause trouble together.

"Can I come? Since I know about it now." Gar asks. Maybe he wants to be the look out or help. Or maybe he wants to be there in case Jason gets carried away, not that he thinks he will, but just in case, of course. Or maybe it's just as simple as Gar wanting to hang around you some more.

"I'm cool, you?" You ask Jason.

"Yeah, of course, man." Jason nods at Gar and they do say they're best friends but this is the first you’re actually getting see it. You think it's cute.

"Awesome, I'm gonna go to bed then, you guys?" You ask.

"Yeah," Gar nods with wide eyes as he stands up.

You give Jason a cornered look and Jason would normally stay up, just a little longer. There's no such thing as too much training. But, you did have an eventful night and maybe he could go for a little more rest tonight.

"Yeah, alright." Jason gets up from his spot and the three of you walk to your rooms.

Jason gives you both a quick "night" before heading into his room and shutting the door, leaving Gar and you. Jason can take a hint. Now, it's just Gar and you, standing outside your room and neither of you are sure why. You're going to bed but you opening up makes Gar feel closer to you. He'll never understand what you went through but he can try. He can be there if you need him to even if it's just to scream or sit in silence. It doesn't bother him either way. And you like how calm he makes you. No one's ever been very good at that. You’ve always had a fire about you and he calms it, not dampens it, just calms it. You like the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you and how much he listens. The only thing, you wish he would stop with the sad eyes but maybe he will now that he knows everything. Maybe, hopefully.

"Okay, I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight, Gar." Your smile splits your face as you open your door, waving at him softly.

"Goodnight, Y/n." Gar says as he starts to walk off but before you close your door, he turns around. "If you, uh, can't sleep or have a nightmare...." Gar pauses not really knowing how to phrase it without it sounding presumptuous.

"Gotcha." You finish, holding a honey-like smile. "Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Gar sucks in a breath and this time, you both go to your rooms, doors closing behind you.

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MIMATO WEEK 2023 (Random Update)

Note: I haven't been able to write on time as much as I wanted to, maybe by tomorrow I will post my Day 5,6,7 entries but until then I wanted to share something, so here is a prompt I got a year ago that was just sitting in my drafts for no reason! Enjoy 💙💚

Prompt: "Your heart is beating too fast to be close to someone you don't care about."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Listen to my Heartbeat ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Digital World throwing them off track without a warning was something that didn’t make Mimi bat an eyelid anymore, and she was pretty much used to the ground beneath them slipping away in a flash, taking away with it any progress the group had made so far. So of course, she was unamused with the current situation, which was her being stuck in a cave with what looked like a light drizzle falling outside. The funny thing was, that while she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen rain in the Digital World, what she could remember was that she had never been stuck alone with the blond standing tall at the entrance of the cave.

Yamato had his back to her, as he peered outside, and though Mimi couldn’t see his face from where she was sitting, she knew it was probably scrunched up in a frown as he inspected the raindrops that settled on his hand. She half turned to pass a comment to Palmon and was bitterly reminded once again, that the only occupants of the cave were her and Yamato, and that the whereabouts of their partner Digimon and the rest of their friends were currently unknown to them. She definitely felt anxious, sitting there without Palmon to keep her company or spring into action to protect her if required, and wondered if Yamato too felt a similar unease, though would he answer honestly if she were to raise this question out loud?

Her eyes wandered over to Yamato again, and she was a little taken aback, maybe even slightly jealous of how much the scene suited him. With his pale, yellow hair shining in contrast to the dim, rocky walls of the cave and his lean figure just rightly fitting in the narrow crevice, nonchalantly bathing in the faint rays of light that escaped through the cloudy sky and surrounded him, he looked nothing less than a muse artists would stroke carefully onto their canvases or poets would write sonnets about. She held back a sigh, it was as if the colour blue, or rather the emotion blue, was meant to be embodied by him, and to Mimi that was a feat worthy of being envious over.

“What should we do?” She decided to speak up, as sitting around and admiring Yamato’s perfect features was something that she could do from anywhere, getting out of here and reuniting with Palmon took priority for now.

Yamato turned, and as expected, with a frown on his face he fixed his eyes on her, and she noticed a hint of surprise reflected in them, as if he had not expected her to follow his lead.

Which was something Mimi couldn’t deny either, she was more of a ‘my way or high way’ kind of girl, but when it came to things related to the Digital World, all of them had adjusted to a pattern that was hard to shake off. If something goes wrong, look to Taichi, and if Taichi is not around, turn to Yamato. It was simple and easy to remember, and pretty much the mantra that had managed to keep them all in one piece during their many escapades, even though lately they hadn’t had much of a success with it since both Taichi and Yamato were butting heads so frequently. Mimi was liking this new side of Yamato however, it was different from what she remembered of him from their childhood, and his recent tenacity was something she could relate to and even found herself drawn towards.

“I don’t think we should move about carelessly.”

She raised her eyebrows, well that was unexpected, and even a little bit disappointing. She could’ve expected that kind of statement from Jou or Koushiro, but given the recent circumstances, Mimi assumed that the blond would be ready to go all out at any given moment. She stood up, dusting off the dirt from her skirt, she wasn’t going to sit around and wait to be found.

“Suit yourself, I’m going to go look for Palmon and the others.”

Mimi moved to make her way out of the cave, but Yamato raised his arm, blocking the entrance as he shot her a glare, “I’m worried about Gabumon and Takeru too, but you saw what happened, do you really think it’s a good idea to go out there without our Digimon partners?”

He was referring to the attack that had broken the group from their brief moment of slumber and had unexpectedly split them up. A shiver ran down Mimi’s arms as she remembered the daunting size of the Digimon that had attacked them out of nowhere, and internally she couldn’t help but agree with what her senior was saying. It was not a good idea to move around carelessly, but it was an idea and that’s what she needed right now instead of sitting still and waiting for someone to come calling.

“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Mimi began, raising her eyes to meet his frowning gaze, “but maybe that’s what the others are thinking too, so how will we find each other if no one makes a move? We didn’t come to the Digital World to sit around and wait for help to find us, at least I know I didn’t.”

She knew she had hit a nerve and she did feel a bit guilty about it, ever since the whole thing with Meicoomon had begun the one who had been advocating for action the most had been Yamato, so for her to suddenly chide him about sitting tight was a low blow on her account. But she couldn’t help it, Mimi could feel the restlessness racing through her veins for every minute they spent together inside the cave. She had never spent so much time alone with him at such close proximity and the new feelings that were being stirred up in her heart when she looked at him, broad shoulders firm with determination as he refused to lower his arm and allow her to pass through, were completely unfamiliar to her.

“So you would gladly leave me behind?”

His voice was just a tone above a whisper but it was almost as if it rang through the cave like a loud, blaring alarm. It takes two to tango, is what his captivatingly blue eyes were saying as they fiercely peered into her own, if Mimi wasn’t afraid to cut corners then neither was he, which made it all the more difficult for her to look away and actually respond to his question. Not that coming up with an answer to his question would be easy, the way he was staring at her made it seem like he could look directly into her soul and would be able to sniff out any lies.

But Mimi had managed to dye her hair pink without her parents finding out until she walked out of her room with her hair bouncing about like a cart of cotton candy had exploded on it. She could handle one blond tundra.

“Gladly,” Mimi said, her voice slightly quivering, but still managed to resound firmly around them. She took a step forward, hoping that the threat of proximity would make Yamato lower his arm and give her the space to make her exit, but instead, he just tightened his grip on the rocky wall, muscles taut around his arms as he continued to stare her down, challenging her to come even closer.

She swallowed a gulp, he was the last person she expected to raise the stakes in a situation like this, what she had expected was that he’d get embarrassed and she’d take that opportunity to take the upper hand and make her escape. However, in the moment it was Mimi who felt embarrassed as she realised that if she raised her fingers just a little bit, she might be able to trace the shape of the tense muscles that clung to the white fabric of the shirt, and as crazy as it sounded to her, that’s all she could think about as they stood close facing each other down with such a fiery determination for perhaps the first time since they had met on the bus to summer camp all those years ago.

Why Yamato had decided to meet her challenge was still something she was unsure of, under normal circumstances he might’ve silently glared daggers at her and focused his attention elsewhere, that’s how he usually fought with people who weren’t Taichi, but then again Mimi and he had rarely ever disagreed on anything before, so there was no way for her to know how he would push back in an argument against her. She wished somewhere deep down, that if this was how things were going to go down, then she had been better off not knowing at all.

Mimi squeezed her eyes shut and tried to get the image of the blond looming over her in all his handsomeness out of her mind, what was important right now was winning this game so she could put some distance between the two of them and never have to deal with all these feelings stirring up inside her ever again. All she needed were a couple of words that would do the trick, they didn’t even need to sting per se but just surprise him enough for her to get a shot at creating an opening in the barrier that he had put up, metaphorically and physically both.

“I’m not intimidated by you.” She began, raising her voice by a pitch that made him wince as he looked over at her with humorous doubt, “In fact, I’m rarely intimidated by people I don’t care much about. And you’re one of them.” Mimi folded her arms across her chest and met his eyes with equal vigour, letting him know through her posture that she too was firm in her decisions and he wouldn’t be able to change her mind with a few lousy tactics. Lying wasn’t something she was particularly good at but the tension in the air gave her the strength to step out of her comfort zone and make a bold statement that would surely hit all the right notes and make Yamato angry enough to lose his cool.

But lately, he had been full of surprises and Mimi should've known better.

Just for a moment, she saw anger flash across Yamato's eyes before he covered it up with an expression she did not recognize. The corner of his mouth curved into a ruthless smirk as without a warning he lowered his head to level with her face, the tip of their noses now only centimetres apart. His warm breath brushed past her chin, which considering the chilliness surrounding them would have been a welcome feeling if Mimi’s whole body hadn’t frozen at the sudden lack of distance between the two of them. She wanted to lift her hands and push them against his toned chest so he would be forced to take a few steps back, she wanted to turn on her heels and stalk back into the inner depths of the cave so the cold air could help douse the fiery excitement that was now rushing through her veins.

But her hands and her feet refused to listen to her demands and stayed put, she felt a hot, burning sensation take over her cheeks as Yamato’s gaze dropped to her lips for just a brief moment, before his eyes met hers again, shining with an emotion she couldn’t find the right words to describe with. Mimi could feel her heart thumping rapidly against her chest, its hammering drowned out the faint pitter-patter of the rain outside in her ears, and she meekly prayed that the loud sound couldn’t reach Yamato because the air of confidence she had put on would crumble the minute he knew how nervous being this close to him made her feel.

Her prayers went unheard of course as the smirk on Yamato’s widened with amusement.

“Are you sure about that, princess? Because your heart is beating too fast to be close to someone you don’t care about.”

A soft whimper escaped her lips, and Mimi was ashamed of her reaction but her voice seemed to have gotten lost somewhere deep inside her throat. It was almost unbelievable that she was losing a battle of stubbornness against Yamato of all people, so all Mimi could do was blame the change in her attitude on the stupidly cold cave that made her long for the warmth of excitement that came with being the absolute centre of Yamato’s attention. She also blamed the Digimon that appeared out of nowhere and separated their little group in such an odd manner. Because she was sure that if a few more of their friends and their Digimon partners were around, this disagreement of theirs would have ended with both of them huffing and puffing and turning away from each other, not with their faces hovering so close that a single a push or a trip of her feet could send her lips crashing onto his-

“Yamato san, Yamato san, can you hear me?”

The two teens immediately pulled back at the sound of their friend’s voice. Mimi took a few steps back into the cave, her hands pressed to her cheek as she tried to hide the redness across her face. While Yamato ended up stepping out of the cave and into the rain, his pale cheeks however, betrayed no hint of embarrassment, only his chest fell and rose irregularly as he took a few deep breaths.

“Yamato san, can you hear me?”

The two turned their attention to the source of the voice, Yamato's digivice which was attached to his pant’s belt loop. Frowning, the blond removed it from his pants and raised it towards his mouth, responding in a hesitant tone.

“Koushiro?”

“Yes! I’m glad I was able to connect with you too. I’ve gotten hold of everyone else, well except Mimi san but I was planning to reach out to her next.”

The digivice being used as a walkie-talkie was something new to both of them, but if someone was capable of figuring that out it was Koushiro. Yamato lowered the digivice, holding it between the two of them so Mimi could lean in closer and listen better too.

“Mimi’s with me.”

It was a simple statement, a factual one in fact, but the words made Mimi’s stomach churn unbearably. She wanted to slap herself across the face just to get out of this stupor she seemed to be under, Yamato and she had never been anything more than casual friends, and she should know better than to dream of something more.

“I see...That’s...uh that’s good to hear.”

Koushiro’s voice seemed more timid than earlier, as if he was not happy to hear about how the two of them had ended up together. Yamato too must have noticed the change in their friend’s voice as he scowled at the device in his hand, possibly annoyed that Koushiro would take a dire situation like this and make it about his feelings for the brunette.

“What do we need to do next?” Yamato cut right to the chase, the urgency in his voice made it seem like he wanted to put an end to the whole dilemma of being stuck alone with Mimi as soon as possible and that finally made the jumbled-up feelings inside of her calm down for a minute.

“Let me explain the rendezvous location to you…”

Mimi tuned out the conversation, knowing that Yamato would guide her in the right direction, she took that time to collect herself instead. By the time they left the cave and followed Koushiro’s directions to where they would meet up with their friends, the surge of emotions she’d felt by simply being around Yamato alone began to simmer down. The two walked in silence, with Mimi trailing slightly behind. She was dragging her feet across the ground so slowly, which came as a surprise to Yamato and he would often turn to check if she was still around. He must have thought her behaviour odd, considering how aggressively Mimi had wanted to get out of the cave to go look for Palmon a while ago.

But now, she knew that the minute the two would reunite with their friends the problems surrounding the Digital World would take centre stage in both their minds. Until the battle was over the two would probably never get the chance to think about what had almost happened between them in the cave. What Mimi feared the most, however, was that both of them would eventually forget the heated moment they had shared and never again make an attempt to get close to each other.

Which is why she walked slowly, to keep the memory of Yamato’s mesmerising blue eyes staring at her lips fresh in her mind for as long as she could. Deep down she hoped that Yamato would do the same, because maybe, just maybe if both of them held onto the memory of their tryst tightly, it wouldn’t wither out as a dream and remain rooted in their minds as something real for years to come.

- x -

[caihongs]

⭐️ For the Director’s Cut!

hi anon! i posted a chaniel/lecciardo fic for valentine's day last month and haven't made a tumblr promo post about it yet >< (link here!) but this section of it really made my own heart skip a beat sjkfhaskf i just love writing people in love...

In the end, when he has his way with him and Charles is left watching the sleeping figure of him in his bed, he realises that it’s Daniel’s inherently sweet disposition that carries Charles down this wayward street of infatuation to love. 

Some mornings it’s Charles’ coffee, made somehow perfectly with the temperamental coffee machine Lorenzo gifted him when he first moved out. Other days when Daniel leaves before he can say goodbye, it’s a letter on the fridge written in English and Italian. Charles can barely understand it because of his often appalling spelling, but he’s still left smiling after, sated even when they’re spending weeks apart. 

“You look pretty today,” he says to Charles one day when he comes out of the bathroom in his Ferrari suit. He’s worn this countless times before and Daniel has seen both him and Sebastian in the same thing for years. And yet, his heart pounds so loud he can hear it and wonders what he should say back.

“You’re pretty too.” It’s choked out and would have come off insincere if not for the way he blooms with the praise, and how Charles would never say anything he didn’t mean when it comes to Daniel. He’s drinking water and scrolling through his phone at the counter but Charles still finds him stupidly handsome. Pretty too. The sun dapples his brown curls, his lashes fan against the skin beneath his eyes when he blinks, and he’s freshly-shaven but when he kisses Charles, he can still feel the prickle against his chin. It makes him chuckle to himself and he can’t help but ask Daniel for another and another, until he has to grab him by the lapels of his blazer and tell him that Andrea has been waiting for him for the past fifteen minutes outside. 

so this fic was very much entirely inspired by laufey's valentine, one of the sweetest songs in existence. her music and voice make me want to fall in love OTL

in the song, it goes:

"He tells me I'm pretty Don't know how to respond I tell him that he's pretty too Can I say that? Don't have a clue"

which inspired this scene! from vegas 2019, to daniel wanting to be on a deserted island with charles because he caves under peer pressure, to daniel whispering into charles' neck rumoured to be 'you have big dick energy' at monza 2022, to daniel saying je t'aime and charles replying with moi aussi at singapore 2022, i've been fascinated by their relationship and how easily daniel reduces charles to a stuttering, blushing mess. if you've read any of my kpop rpf or simply filtered for additional tags, you'll know how much i love an established r/s and/or domestic fluff moment and this is no exception. it's them finding home in each other despite the busy lives they lead and despite the fact that charles in this fic overthinks himself to death, he finally reckons with the truth that he will always be enough for daniel to stay. i wish i could be more eloquent with this but in the words of jane austen, if i loved this fic less, i might be able to talk about it more.

[paintedpigeon1]

I posted 16,930 times in 2022

That's 16,140 more posts than 2021!

43 posts created (0%)

16,887 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aeonthedimensionalgirl

@shana-rosee

@invisibility-superiority

@kickassfu

@queerofthedagger

I tagged 264 of my posts in 2022

#doctor who spoilers - 41 posts

#doctor who - 41 posts

#bbc merlin - 18 posts

#goncharov - 14 posts

#unreality - 13 posts

#fanfic - 10 posts

#febuwhump - 7 posts

#dw spoilers - 7 posts

#< prev tags - 6 posts

#merlin - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#but that took multiple days each time and was only possible bc i only has the room for less than a year at a time so it wasnt that messy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Balinor really just went and healed the son of Uther Pendragon with magic, knowing who he was and likely thinking that Merlin hated magic, given that he was with the Prince of Camelot. He decided that he was worth saving despite the strong possibility he'd die for it. He really just... did that.

Balinor might say that Merlin has his mother's kindness but honestly I don't think it's just Hunith's.

14 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#4

Artwork for Alone In The Forests Of Our Minds by stanzas

See the full post

17 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#3

Fic masterlist

Hi! I've decided to make a list of all my fics (attempt 2. Stupid tumblr).

It's divided by fandom (Merlin and Good Omens atm). Series are at the top of the fandom lists, followed by standalones divided by ship (so far, Merlin/Leon/Arthur, Merlin/Leon, Gwen/Merlin/Arthur, Elyan/Percival, Merlin/Lancelot, Merlin/Arthur, Gen for Merlin, and Aziraphale/Crowley for Good Omens). The ship sections are ordered by length of fic, with the longest first.

Without further ado, here's the list:

Merlin

Series:

From the Sea to the Land

When he was 20, Arthur Pendragon met a selkie called Merlin in Gedref. Instead of killing him, as he should've done, he fell in love and they travelled back to Camelot together.

All works can be read as standalones.

1: First meetings

G, 778, Merlin & Arthur

Archive warnings: None

Additional tags: Protective Merlin (Merlin), Shapeshifting, Selkies, Selkie Merlin, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Canon Era, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Smitten Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Arthur jumps off his horse and looks around at the green fields, the gently lapping waves, the rocky shore. Gedref. He sighs. So this is where he's to spend the next few weeks.

Arthur meets a selkie called Merlin.

2: Beneath the waves

G, 1.3k, Merlin & Arthur

Archive warnings: None

Additional tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Not Canon Compliant, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Shapeshifting, Selkies, Selkie Merlin, attempts at flirting

Arthur's sitting on a large rock when there's a massive splash and he's soaked with seawater.

"Merlin!"

The grey seal in front of him transforms into a grinning young man with black hair and bright, sparkling blue eyes. "Hello Arthur."

"Do you have to cover me in water every time?"

Arthur goes to Merlin's underwater cave for tea.

3: Tell me a story

G, 755, Merlin & Arthur

Archive warnings: None

Additional tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Couch Cuddles, Selkies, Storytelling, Canon Era, Not Canon Compliant, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), fairytales - Freeform, Selkie Merlin

Merlin sets two mugs of kelp tea on the low table, peering over Arthur's shoulder. "What're you looking at?"

Arthur gestures to the bookshelf. "Your books. You've got so many, and I haven't seen most of them before."

See the full post

17 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#2

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Leon/Merlin (Merlin) Characters: Leon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship Summary:

Merlin looks at the clothes laid out on the bed and then up at Leon, heart swelling. “You got these for me?” Leon smiles. “Of course I did. Gwen did the embroidery. Merlin, I am so proud of you.” “It’s not that much.” Leon snorts. “’Not that much’ he says. You’ll be the first court sorcerer in over two decades. You risked everything telling Arthur about your magic. You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known.”

On Merlin's appointment as court sorcerer, Leon gets him a present.

21 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Y'all should know this is completely @angst-buritto 's fault.

187 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[satanicspinosaurus]

OMG OMG OMG I like zonked out for a (I’m not actually sure how long-form time works with enough chronic pain so let’s say more than a week and less than a month) and bam you cranked out a beautiful comic!!!! I think I remember reblogging 3 parts, but oh my gosh it’s wonderful and going through it again is a treat.

Part 1 coming back to, I really like how authentically confident Aldriin is here. Especially the casual sit down. You can tell he’s in his element, *working* Astarion to agree with his point. Like that pose is just perfect. Open body language, a hand moved a bit closer. I’d actually say it’s a stone throw away from flirty. And I mean that very strictly. There’s something about the facial expression that cues me into it not actually being, but it’s brillant story telling because it makes total sense why Astarion picks the sex bid (beyond his “gods given” options as he puts it) later. The end panel is great. Aldrin is round in ways that will change. Astarion is gaunt in ways that will change. They are, oppositional in appearance but so very similar shades of moral grey, down to two smiles that aren’t warm when you look carefully. Part 2 panel I love is the horror look. Beyond the person (being seen/ repped is often fun) I do like the very natural response of Astarion here. It’s not my story, but a lot of A-spec folks are treated like their natural way of experiencing the world must be a result of trauma (or fear of it). There’s also the delicious euphemism “soft” here. It’s great character writing because Astarion is an asswhipe at times, but he’s honed into something a bit by accident. I think he’s trying to imply he isn’t fatphobic like society, which does link body fat % to maturity. But it also ends up being a real a-spec rep moment. That if we aren’t sexually active/ desiring we are immature, and really don’t worry dear, I see you’ve got some adult traits hidden under there I can help bring out. (And as a viewer, I am of course rooting for our fav half-drow’s moments of realization. It might be coming via manipulation but self-knowledge is self-knowledge.) Pt 3’s shift to cool grey is such an awesome thing btw! The tone shift hits immediately, and oh it’s such a strong way to experience someone “cooling down” after the heat of a moment. The heavy amount of blank ink makes it feel almost claustrophobic as our poor dude is huddling around a tiny amount of light/ insight. The brightest panel on his face being him admitting Astarion actually smiling is nice is such a nice touch. Especially compared to the heart-wrenching shading on the “normal people” panel. The heavy use of silhouettes, the literal picture of a cave, and the struggle of learning the truth ends up being a solid fun way of thinking about Plato’s allegory of the cave.  Part 4!!!! Yeah, it was Mama K! First off- this woman is giant and I love it. You do not remotely shy away from making her a powerhouse. Honestly, I love the slight change to her camp clothes. That’s not a bra really anymore, its’ more how I see bodybuilders wear tank tops. (Especially when Aldiirn  poofs out. That is beautiful and hats off.) I also really like the explicit reaction of her assumption that Aldiirn  is gay. I don’t see a lot of that, probably because the BG3 setting tries to be post-(or never existing) homophobia. But there’s an explicit lack of acknowledgement of it in the setting that goes beyond that that keeps the game “player-sexual”. You could argue in Faerun everyone is bi, but that would make no sense in context of how the Drow operate. Or how the couples we do see ratio more like our world. Which is a long way of saying, your Karlach’s reaction hits me more like I *think* they want us to read the setting as. Any sexuality is fine (as long as you shack up with someone) but exclusive preferences in either direction are less common. Basically bi/ pan as the norm. (I guess the fan’s idea of the game vs the game’s text.) Also: yes Karlach, THANK YOU. The chance everyone in this party is single and/or ready to mingle is low AF. THANKS! Oh, also Karlach as a source of light really helps repeat the themes of knowledge=light in the last section. Karlach is pent up, but knows what she wants. And I really believe just talking to people helps us understand ourselves, like the way Aldiirn  seems so much better in his self-knowledge quest at “of course”. Part 5 

Astarion’s catty-ness coming out as a defense mechanism is just a slow spiral horror show. I think Aldiirn ’s, er casual affect about sex probably is just read as terrible by Astarion here. His mark isn’t consumed by him, so he’s in trouble. It really digs home how early game he only thinks his body is his only option. And I don’t think we recognize enough how terrifying that must be in a game of hotties (that are all very horny to boot).  It’s amazing how his last panel makes the idea of him getting blood really feel like a cheap consolation prize. After all, if he can’t manage a miracle, this just becomes a tiny detour in decades of slavery. Also that heavy shading is doing work, including the dark speech bubble. A “healthy” attitude might be that hey, he still has access to good blood. But honestly, it does remind me that he’s very transactional. Astarion is trading away himself still for it (as sort of a quick Dom thing) in his head. It’s not that Aldiirn  sees him having a need and realizes he can meet it. No, it’s a trade. Performance for food. And that’s humiliating. The journal by the way is clever as shit. Love it. Aldiirn really appears honest in his tent, I feel like his gender presentation shifts a bit without an audience here. The concerning amount of mushrooms, the supply focus dialgoue, hells the way his hair is tied. There’s something honest here- even when there’s a source of lighting it’s soft and doesn’t cast shadows on his face part of his body might still be a little obscured but that the the setting feel kinder. (Well until the detour comment….but I think that’s more telling us what will happen.)  I’m glad we get to see him in private. It makes the more open Aldiirn that shows up to Astarion feel a little performance-y. And I think it again works to affirm why Astarion assuming things. Yep, Aldiirn is hiding things and well. Concerns, active agency, his own problems. Aldrin might show up in a much better headspace after getting to think and talk about things, but he’s not fully candid and able to talk to Astarion openly.

In all honestly, the last page kind of explains a lot. It’s a little jaring to not see Aldiirn digest Astarion’s actions. He moves onto Karlach and his issues. It’s not even clear if Astarion fed on him, as a lot of his neck his hidden so there’s no clear lack of or presence of bite marks.

To be clear, it’s healthy for him not to be obsessed with Astarion. But again, Astarion needs obsession. There’s no way someone like Aldiirn who just cares about these random people exists, based on his world experience. That plus, Aldiirn clearly not caring about his own self needs has to be apparent on some level to our “magistrate”.

It’s a story of two liars circling each other, and it was a joy to read.

Stealing Hearts (Complete)

14 pages, all in one post! A bard and rogue make for a smooth heist team but have a rocky romantic start due to both being idiots who can't say no. I started this scene in December when thinking about how the Astarion romance would have kicked off for my demisexual tav, Aldiirn, and how a long rest queue surprise fit in.

Rest of the scene under the cut! The daytime pages have also been updated for a better texture so they're not dark like the OG posts.

[zugmode]

As an expert on the history of the subject, what are your thoughts on what's happening at Columbia University?

I'm trying to keep this as apolitical as possible (I'm not one to post my political opinions online), so here's what I think strictly in a historical context.

Columbia University is no stranger to civil disobedience. In 1968, demonstrators occupied five buildings on Columbia's campus. Among their demands was for Columbia to cut affiliation with the Institute for Defense Analyses (IDA), which was essentially a coalition of leading universities and government agencies formed to conduct military research (x). Student occupation of the buildings lasted roughly a week, after which they were met with police violence and mass arrests. Thirty were suspended for their involvement with the demonstration. Within a year of the student occupation, Columbia indeed cut ties with IDA (x).

Now, in 2024, we have a similar situation. Though students are not occupying university facilities, they have created the Gaza Solidarity Encampment in a stand against Israel's abuse of Palestine. Their demands are largely similar to what they were 56 years ago: they ask that Columbia sever ties with corporations that profit from the war. 100 students have been arrested, and several (I couldn't find an exact number) have been suspended. It remains to be seen whether Columbia will once again cave to the interests of its student demonstrators.

In the aftermath of the 1968 occupation, Columbia has made protest a part of its culture, though it struggles with how to handle these new demonstrations. The New York Times wrote, "Mayor Eric Adams said on Thursday evening that while Columbia has a 'proud history of protest,' students did not 'have a right to violate university policies and disrupt learning.'" (x). Columbia has attempted to accommodate protestors through relegating demonstrations to certain areas and certain times of day, though these rules don't seem to be taking to the student body.

Despite its long infatuation with the 1968 occupation's place in campus history, Columbia University is completely misunderstanding the point of civil disobedience. The point of striking, of occupying, of demonstrating, is to break the rules peacefully. There is no such thing as legal civil disobedience. Something about the Columbia administration attempting to impress regulations onto political activity seems like it could eventually encroach toward a First Amendment violation. I'm reminded, now, of the Free Speech Movement at Berkeley in 1964, which fought back against a ban of political activity on campus following a wave of Civil Rights mobilizations. I can't say I would be entirely surprised if institutions once again start to impose similar bans on their campuses.

I won't do violence to the facts. The 2024 occupation is far more complex than the 1968 occupation. From what I can find, Columbia University is faced with a moral dilemma of both accommodating demonstrators and protecting its Jewish student body. Also, though I'm a little annoyed by Mayor Adams' response (I question if they're really proud of the '68 occupation), I find it to be completely rational in a legal context. One thing they evidently gained from the past is a fear of demonstrative violence, which they obviously want to prevent. This war is a deeply divisive issue in America, and I expect it to worsen as time goes on. We do not have to agree with their actions, but we have to understand that these bureaucrats are trying to prevent the worst.

As we enter into the election cycle, I'd like people to keep an eye on protests. Demonstrators are being arrested on college campuses, as they were 56 years ago. The modern SDS plans to demonstrate during Convention Week in Chicago (x). America is once again divided by not only a war, but also a long roster of longstanding, polarizing issues. As a student of the Sixties, and especially 1968, I worry for what is to come. We live in important times.

[derealfeelz]

Past Dream #1 (Kodoku's Lilacs, The Life of a Flowstar No. 7)

This is the 7th post I've made on here, so it's been a week, so that's cool. To celebrate, I guess we'll talk about past dreams I had, especially since my name on here is "derealfeelz", and I need something to write about.

A year ago, I made a dream diary on my chromebook and it lasted until August (with a dream from January from this year). I must've forgotten about it as I did have school around that time, and shit like that gets in the way, hopefully that doesn't happen with this lol. Out from May to August, I seem to only wrote 12 dreams, out of like 90 days. I guess I'll tell you one that I think is an interesting dream, it occurred on 6/14/22.

So I was on trip with a pretty known rapper with his crew, camera equipment, security guards, he's got his protection. I would say the rapper's name, but I don't wanna sound really weird (but then again, dreams can be weird), especially with how he goes with his aesthetic. This took place in a forest, at a pretty high elevation according to the diary.

The dream started in this place that may have been some tour place because I did describe "big glass with some stuff behind it" in a cave, and that we could see a bridge from it. If I remember correctly, the bridge was pretty weak. You know the one bridge from the original Shrek, where him and Donkey cross the bridge to save Fiona? I believe that's what it was, since something happened later in the dream.

We crossed the bridge with the crew, then we explored this forest as if it was a park we can go to, and apparently, we seen one of our bros getting arrested for something. I didn't specify what it was, so I guess for this post, I'll say he was flashing the policemen too much with his camera and one of them had a seizure I guess. I did see his camera on the ground and for some reason, instead of picking it up for him (and shouting free bro, fuck 12!!! (I'm joking on that part lol, some cops are good)), I just decided to leave it, and no one picked it up. And we all just kept going with our journey.

After we were did our thing with our journey, we started to head back, and remember that bridge I was talking about earlier? We were crossing that and it snapped, like a few people fell into the water below it, probably broke because too much people on it at once. And then, I had such a smart solution. There was still another string there that came off easily and I had it in my hand, and I decided to try to swing to the other side, but some kid (probably one of my bros) grabbed onto me as I did the leap of faith, and the string broke as we swung, and we both fell into the water. It probably had alligators and we all died or some shit, because I didn't specify that other than saying that the dream ended there.

So yeah, I probably actually wrote something interesting! I think I do got a couple other dreams to write about, although I don't got so many, so I hopefully will start again. Hopefully you find this interesting and see you guys again lol.

Sincerely, Kodoku.

[aro-laurance-zvahl]

hey now, don't beat yourself up about "unfinished" work. sometimes the purpose of writing is to shake your emotions out, or to test a new style, or to write the one specific scene you've been daydreaming about. 500 words is still a lot (trust, I did nano and thinking "I still have 500 words.." is daunting). no love, however brief, is wasted.

for a prompt, you never said if you wanted it fandom specific? so I think it could be fun to try and write smth in second person. you could do it in a, outsiders perspective looking in to whatever fandom situation you want. also, don't feel pressured to post it. sometimes our writing is just for us (though of course if you want to, I'm not holding you back!) :]

It has been. A bit of a rough week. Which made these 500 words take longer than my usual, but they shall not be wasted. Since I first followed you back in your Sanders Sides days, I figured I might well cobble together something SaSi. It’s from this LAMP soulmate AU I have, inspired by a fic I read years ago but when I reread it it just didn’t scratch the itch. It’s a mess of an AU, so many branching paths and no consistent timeline and probably at least 10k words of mess scattered around my drafts and 1k of them are probably the same words pasted into different draft where the situation goes a different direction. I have fun with it though, and I really like it which felt appropriate for this ask as well.

So without further ado, enjoy 537 words of Remy’s inner turmoil.

—

You are fourteen years old, sitting with your best friend in his room. You’re pretending not to notice, but you can tell he’s looking at how the writing appears on your arm. You know he’s still mourning the fact his writing doesn’t appear on it anymore, and so are you.

Not that you don’t like your soulmate, he’s nice and his doodles are getting better, and you feel it in your bones you’ll love him when you see him, but you don’t think it’ll stop the weird grief you have about Virgil. He’s been your best friend since you were six, and for over two years he was your soulmate too. Until he wasn’t.

Looking back, maybe it was predictable. You two were kids, arms filled with possible soulmates that fate was still lining up perfectly. Nearly all of them would fade, and one day, for you, they did. You were left with one, like everyone figured would happen. You had already met your soulmate, you two would barely remember a day without that bond. Except the one wasn’t Virgil, and it could not have happened at a worse time.

You don’t think you could ever forgive fate for the shambles she left Virgil in, even if your soulmate is a god on earth. He lost so much that year because of stupid fate and you know he’s never been able to recover, so why should you love fate? You know she’s not kind, maybe she has been to you since that time but you’ve seen the cruel nature she harbors. You had to watch her break your best friend before either of you knew long division.

You take a deep breath. He just got back from the hospital, it’s not the time to go on one of your anger induced ramblings about fate. They make him sad anyway, and you’re supposed to be here to cheer him up. You try to focus back on the game in front of you, but your arm itches and you know it’s because fate is sinking her claws along the new markings, urging you to look and look and look.

You give in to her demands, sparing a quick glance down to relieve the hives like feeling dancing across your arm. It’s nothing important, just a few words asking you to remind him to ask for more stickers, you couldn’t even respond if you really needed to anyway. The itching fades as quickly as it began though, and you wonder how Virgil manages to never look at his own if you cave after moments? His soulmates are chatty too, from what you have gathered from the small things he says about them.

It’s most definitely not the time to ask though, so you once again adjust your grip on the controller in your hand and focus your vision back onto the game in front of you. It really sucks you have to finish the game for him, but he doesn’t want to wait the couple months for his cast to come off to see the end and you know he’d do it for you. You’ve been dying to talk about it with him anyway, and that is definitely a safe and happy subject.

[weixuldo]

Enigma// Ch 2

Modern!Anakin x Reader

(a/n: So I’ve got an idea about this story, but dont worry I’m gonna juggle this one and unconditionally :) as always ty for reading and I hope you enjoy this one just as much as my other stories)

as time goes on you grow closer to Ahsoka, though you still wonder about her friend...

Warnings: cursing, alcohol, mature content?, anakin is an asshole, PTSD, 

__________________________________

A few weeks passed without seeing the group from that night, though you had become closer with Ahsoka. The two of you had exchanged texts and did study sessions quite often. You found that not all D1 athletes were complete assholes. The two of you liked to go club hopping on friday nights and tonight in particular the two of you were already buzzed by 7:30. 

You enjoyed Ahsoka, she could make friends with about anyone, her jovial spirit mixed with her seemingly infinite wisdom drew so many people to you guys. But the more you hung out with her the more you remembered her friend, Anakin. 

You hadn't seen him since the night you first met him, though you wished you could have seen him more.

There was just something so interesting about him…

“Hey!! Ready for a shot?” Ahsoka smiled, placing two small glasses on the table in front of you. You smiled and took one from her. The two of you downed the vials of liquor and began to laugh. 

“Ahhahah, that one burned” she laughed making a face at the drink.

“I’ll get the next round, but we’re doing a mixed drink” you offered, to which she threw a thumbs up. 

She plopped down on the stook next to you and pulled out her phone. Ahsoka was a curious girl, she seemingly could drink forever and not have a hangover, but at the same time keep up her healthy D1 physique and talent. Tonight her hair was in box braids and she sported a simple maroon slip dress. 

You were also dressed up and the two of you were definitely collecting the attention of all kinds of people. You took a look around to look at your fellow attendants, there were some conventionally attractive people, but you couldn’t get her friend out of your head.

Shamefully you had tried to find him on all social media but were saddened to see he either didn’t have a profile or the one he did have, had no posts. You glanced up at your friend who was deeply invested in whatever text conversation she was having on her phone. 

You were filled with liquid courage so why not ask the question that was looming in the back of your mind for months.

“Hey, Ahsoka… remember your friend Ben and the other one?” you asked, trying to sound innocent.

“Yeah, Ben and Anakin,” she said, still typing.

“How do you know them?”

She set her phone down and smiled, “Yeah, so Anakin was my neighbor when I was a kid and he was friends with Ben. But we got a lot closer when they went to high school because they did ROTC and my dad was the Commander for their school. When they would have to go to meets I liked to tag along so they kinda made me like their little sister. but when I finally went to high school ROTC they were already in the real military, so yeah” she shrugged near the end. 

Makes sense why he had all of that military stuff.

“That’s really cool Ahsoka! Ben seems really sweet and so does Anakin… kinda… Is that why you were celebrating with them? Because of the military job? ” you trailed off.

She let out an abrupt laugh, “Sorry! Hah, Anakin isn’t the best at first impressions, and yeah funny thing is I’m gonna be doing basic training with the same sergeant they were under.”

“That's nice” you smiled “And yeah… I really don’t think he wanted anything to do with me”.

She gave you a funny look, “Well, he did let you stay at his house, so he doesn’t totally hate you”

“I was drunk, he probably woulda done that for anyone” you scoffed.

“Hmmm I don't know F/N, He’s quite picky as to who is allowed in his “cave”. He could've just said no.”

You pondered for a moment before speaking again, “Is he nice? Cause he was a little scary”.

“He’s honestly a sweetheart if you get to know him, he just keeps a lot of walls up because he’s scared too.”

“Scared of what?” you asked.

“Scared of people judging him or looking down on him for shit he’s done or shit he deals with” she said flatly. 

“Hmmm…” you smiled. “Maybe not the best time, but is he single?” you asked, alcohol heating your cheeks.

She grinned at that, “Yes, yes he is… why do you ask?”.

“Oh, I don't know…he was kinda cute” you looked away.

“Would you maybe want his number?” she asked

You snapped your head towards her, “Yes?!”.

Both of you started to giggle, “let's order the next round first” you offered.

Once you had your new drinks perched prettily in front of you she began to give you his number. 

“Sooo, I just want to let you know he has a lot of baggage… buuuut you should totally go for it” she smiled.

Baggage? You wanted to uncover his secrets. As you typed his number into your phone you realized neither Ahsoka nor you would be doing this, or even discussing this sober. You hoped she wouldn’t remember all of tonight. 

“just want to make sure, do you think he’d be comfortable with me having his number?” you asked sheepishly.

She giggled and pulled out her phone, “I think he’d be blushing on the other side of the screen”.

“What?”

“Yeah, I know him really well and ever since we stayed at his place, he’s brought you up several times” she remarked as she sent the contact information.

“Really? Me?” you asked, astonished.

“Mhmm, he's been like “Where's your little friend Ahsoka?” and hinting at inviting my other “Friends” over when we hang out, and I know he knows you’re the only one I usually hang out with outside of them and school” she laughed as she brought her drink to her lips.

Once she was done she added, “and trust me, that is him showing interest. I haven't seen him like this in a long ass time”.

“I don’t think I did anything particularly outstanding to earn his attention” you lamented, adding his contact into your phone. 

She shrugged and finished her drink.

_____________________________________

It was now around 10:30 or was it 1:00? Ahsoka was still going strong, dancing with some random people you two had just met. She was quite impressive.

You, on the other hand, were winding down at the bar. you drank more than you usually did and were debating if you should go back to the dorms tonight or find someone to stay with.

Your insides felt warm because of the alcohol sitting nicely in your stomach. Your cheeks were rosy and you were feeling fucking fantastic. You observed the people in the club, some were dancing, others heavily making out, but a couple across the floor caught your attention.

They were sitting together, hands entwined and you saw the guy crane his neck to kiss her head. They looked like they were supposed to be at a romantic picnic, not a club. They were so lovely, so caring, so perfect…

You wanted that. 

You wanted that so bad. 

The alcohol definitely made you bold, because you reached into your purse and pulled out your phone. Before you knew it your message was sent up in a small bubble.

“Hey”.

Simple.

You placed the phone back down but it dinged almost immediately. 

Who is this, and how do you get this number?

“Its F/N, Ahsoka’s friend, and she gave it to  me”

Why do you need my number?

You felt yourself blush, why did you need the number?

“Idk? I have just kinda been thinking abt u…”

He took a while to respond to that

It's Friday, the two of you must be out, how long have you been drinking?

“Maybee, and idkk”

You laughed at his concern, it was kinda cute.

Soon you heard your phone ringing, it was him.

“Hheelloo?” you answered

“How long have the two of you been out?” you heard him say from the other side of the phone. His voice was a tad raspy but just as good as you remembered. 

“Umm, I don't know since like 7:30??”

“Christ! Its fucking 3 in the morning F/N!” he growled.

You felt a nice sensation shoot to your core. Your name sounded so nice on his tongue. You wanted him to say it again.

“We’re fine, we were just gonna get an uber or somethi-” you were cut off by a wobbly Ahsoka.

“Who ya talking to?!” she asked

Giggling you told her “anakin”

She excitedly shouted, “Ahhaha! Hey Sky guy!! Come and *hic* party with us!!”

“Damnit, where are you two?”

Ahsoka giggled and told him the location.

“I’m calling Ben to pick you two up, you better be fucking glad he doesn’t have work tomorrow”

You were saddened at his words, why was he not coming?

“Where exactly is he gonna drop us?” you shot back, harsher than you intended.

You heard him sigh on the other side, “He’ll drop you two at my place, it's not safe for you two to be unsupervised”.

“Says who?” you said back.

“Me. i’m not going to stay on the line with some irresponsible college students”

Ahsoka butted in, “HEY! Don’t act like you were any better than we are, I know for a fact you do just as much as us Anakin Skywalker!” and with that she hung up.

She huffed and crossed her arms, “he thinks he’s so much better than us because, what? He’s older? Cause he doesn’t club? He’s just as bad, he just does it alone” she huffed with a frown. 

***

(A/N: ok, so if you dont know what ROTC is its basically like the junior military program in highschools, it may just be an american thing? But anyway, ik Ahsoka’s parents arent in actual cannon, so they wont be and integral part of this story anyways. Also I do not condone getting this drunk lmfao)

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