#posts I read in Jerma’s voice

[teaboot]

teaboot have you killed jeremy jerma 985 in an honorable duel yet or gained his power through other means or will i be able to catch the next jerma stream

fun fact I only know who that is through other people's tumblr memes. I have no idea what his voice sounds like and I refuse to find out. He has never appeared in my YouTube feed and every time I scroll by a Jerma post without reading I feel a little thrill of victory. It's part of my identity at this point. I've never seen disney's beauty and the beast, original OR live action, I can't drive, and I don't really know who Jerma is. I've never seen a Mr Beast video either. I exist on the internet as a form comprised of negative space and I'm keeping it that way

[dee-the-red-witch]

Right. June Pinned post. Let's fuckin' go.

Hi.

I'm Denice. More commonly Dee. Mid-40's transfem poly lesbian. And I do a lot of stuff.

First and foremost, I'm an artist and leatherworker. You'll find links to all of that here.

I also write, do tarot readings, and review media. All of that's here.

If you're local to me in the PNW, I also tattoo:

I also have my GRS and FFS coming up in under six months, and am desperately trying to cover funds for the recovery time from both.

And if that all wasn't enough, I also voice act, cook, parent, spend way too much time as a gym rat, still don't know what a jerma is, post lewd for tummy tuesday soemtimes because I can, and tend to Have Opinions. I'd say you should throw money at me in general for it, but that's neither here nor there.

I do not care if you're a minor who decides to follow me (unless you insist on making it weird. This is an adult space. Cope.) I will not tag for nsfw or mature content, since both get used for targeted harrassment. Police your own experience. Ask box is still open for now, put any other questions there.

[jermasubtitledofficial]

Hi everyone, I'm the official subtitle editor for 2ndJerma and Jerma Stream Archive. I've been working to make Jerma985's videos more accessible through closed captions and subtitles. Jerma985 videos are subtitled regularly. You can view the definitive playlist of them here:

I also provide play-by-play updates on Twitter (@JermaSubtitled) to keep you informed on when and which videos have captions finalized and published.

Subtitling is a labor-intensive task that requires a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it to make sure that everyone can enjoy Jerma's content. However, I don't receive official compensation for my work. (writing, reviewing and editing captions) Without official pay, it can be difficult to justify the time I put into managing subtitles. That's why I'm reaching out to the community for support.

If you appreciate the effort I put into providing subtitles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. You can join for as low as $3/month, and all proceeds go towards continuing to make Jerma's videos accessible. If you'd like to give a one-time tip instead, you can do so here. Every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated. Your funding is 100% responsible for keeping Jerma985 subtitles running.

I understand that not everyone is in a position to contribute financially, and that's okay! Just spreading the word and letting others know that these subtitles exist and are available is a huge help. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. With your help, we can do a great service for YouTube accessibility.

Up next, a recap of what happened in March 2023:

I update interested parties each month about what's been added, and I'll start posting them here if there's sufficient interest, plus any additional musings. So here's the recap from March:

The community has provided so many submissions I'm nearly overwhelmed! I have a lot to review. Every caption will be published, it's just a matter of time. Those not present have been added to the queue.

First, overlap from February is SCORN by me, Erasmus Magnus. It highlights an interesting conundrum of subtitling: how to intuitively portray something said for a deaf/HOH audience, in this case a filtered voice. Feedback I received including that of @maplecaster led to the final result, and I think it works tremendously well.

Second, we have The Short Sniper by community regular, kitpigeon. Short and sweet, high-quality subs for one of Jerma's low-profile videos. Great job.

Next, we have Receding Randy transcribed by @maplecaster. This was some fine stuff. I'm embarrassed how long it took me to sync it, but that's only because I'm something of a perfectionist. I try to limit the time sink, but I want the best for the subtitles, and it only makes sense to polish the time to be as good as the text content.

After that, we have an absolute classic in the form of Grab that Grotto 5—no relation to Grotto Beasts—by @graysaregay. Well done on this. I did some executive editing for some tricky stuff like the text-to-speech voice. I'm really glad this ol' classic nearing a million has captions now.

And finally, italoplumber has provided a German translation of The Max Cow Capacity Compulsion. Never would've guessed he was popular in DACH countries, but I suppose it makes sense. It's in his name. Willkommen in Jermany.

And that's it! If you want to see more about official Jerma985 subtitles, including musings and related information, consider following! And again, play-by-play updates can be found on Twitter at @JermaSubtitled.

[swordandscytheandpen]

do wordle with my partner sometimes. and every time i start typing "wordle" in the searchbar, the first suggestion is of course Worm, because i have spent an embarrassing amount of time reading Worm. so of course, every single time he sees it flicker past, he leans right into my ear, loads his voice with maximum bass, and goes "worm" in Jerma's fucking Scorn voice. he has done this to me enough that when i see a post about Worm now, i hear it in my head.

[bananntoo]

what armins phone looks like

• phone in military time

• argues that it is better for some odd reason

• like okay we get it you want to be different so bad😒

• phone theme is blue

• like a beach/ocean theme

• his phone icons being jellyfish or waves

• and each icon isn’t just blue themed- they’re all blue tinted too

• 100% blue

• big widgets he has spotify, weather, and clock

• that’s it

• he never deletes apps

• he still has among us

• it’s just too much worrkk :(

• only social media he has is instagram and youtube

• argues that instagram reels are just as good and doesn’t need tiktok

• his lock screen is a watercolor painting of the beach or flowers

• blue of course

• on his lock screen he has his shared calendar notifications that he shares with eren and mikasa, spotify, and his battery percentage

• every one in a while he switches out the battery with life 360

• his life 360 that he shares with eren and mikasa

• he organized his home screen once and hasn’t updated it since

• he downloads an app and doesn’t take it off the home screen

• so he has one page thats half filled with random apps

• he has his text on his phone small

• only has a few settings on his control center

• light and dark mode, battery saver, wallet, clock, calculator, screen record, camera, and accessibility

• yk the basics

• on the bottom of his screen in the little tool bar he has messages, phone, safari

• slides down to search for an app

• thinks its easier for some reason

• light mode user

• could be 2 in the morning and he’d be texting the group chat phone all the way lit, and his face so white you could see every feature he has

• password is 6 numbers

• uses spotify

• he always has his bluetooth off because he’s scared it will randomly connect to anything, anywhere

• do not disturb automatically turns on at 10pm

• he’s got to get a good night sleep some how

• put screen time on his apps HIMSELF

• goes on and on about how social media is an addiction

• like yea okay but at least you aren’t doing dr*gs

• he made a voicemail in 7th grade and still hasn’t changed it

• he’s forgotten about it

• h-hi this is armin arlert. if you’re hearing this im probably too busy studying or gaming but i’ll get back with you as soon as possible!

• in his little 7th grade boy voice

• his instagram account is private but he doesn’t post anything or have any highlights so what’s the point?

• his ringtone is the auto one

• but it doesn’t matter because he never has his ringer on

• or his vibrate

• he loses his phone and no one can even call it because it won’t vibrate or ring

• notifications on for his games, messages, duolingo, and his email

• his camera roll is all screenshots from his games, pictures of him with his friends, and scenery

• so many contacts

• has people from group projects in freshman year still in his contacts

• watches streamers

• jerma, charli, sinjin drowning

• has 5 tabs max on safari

• the only thing on his phone he ever clears out

• and his phone tabs

• never leaves any open besides music

• rarely ever on his phone

• screen time is a good 3 hours a day average

• he likes his computer better

• he has a 2 year streak on duolingo

• its either french, german, spanish, or hebrew

• i can see him learning a european language

• has a list in his notes of recipes, movies, books

• does he ever cook, watch, or read any of them?

• no

• but he will some day

• and that’s all that matters

[goodnightwindy]

its been days and im still thinking about the time rue said im like jerma. thats like. do you understand what youve done to my brain. i read my own posts in a jerma voice now

[midnakoopa]

Okay yes hi hello I’ve been reading everyone’s tags and this is the one that made me want to start explaining shit, arbitrarily. Let me start by saying yes you are 100% correct, Galifianakis and Dunkaccino are right next to each other because of this.

Many of the nonsense names stem from the first Sprigatito I hatched: Sprubbabungo (who makes a cameo as the Meowscarada to the top left of HERE WE GO). I named Sprubbabungo when I was sleep-deprived. I decided I liked the theme of four-syllable names with two quick syllables then two more drawn out ones, usually ending in “o”.

I’ve got too much else to say so if you want to read me ramble for seven years about my thought processes with these cats, I’ll split it here. Just so you know before the cut, though, I don’t remember the thought process behind Severed Head. I wish I did, because I know there WAS one, but I simply do not, I’m sorry. Also Sabadayto is my favorite.

To start with, the voice I’m doing here is me trying to channel kind of a Vinesauce Joel energy, specifically a way I remember him saying “peepee poopoo”, which of course inspired the name Pipipupu.

As for what else, I’ll just run through the thought processes I remember for the names. If I don’t mention one, it was just train-of thought nonsense.

Habanero fit the syllable scheme and is a plant. “Video Games” is, weirdly enough, hard to explain and I’ll probably sound crazy if I try. It’s just a feeling. Kiccadikko is the CBT cat.

I don’t actually watch Jerma very often but it seemed like the right thing to do also I only just realized the implications of naming a cat after Jerma whoops. Bobobobo was largely train-of-thought, but I’m sure I thought of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo while naming it.

Greem Beem comes from an image or post or something I can’t find anymore but I think it was like a cat taking a green bean and “greem beem” was the caption it was a long time ago. Scrungodungo and Scruggadungo subconsciously have meme origins I think probably.

Chopamango is something you can do in your kitchen and Hoobastank is a band I think. I was tempted to name it “Hoobastanko” to fit the naming scheme, but I didn’t. Sabadayto I think the thought process was “save the date”, but now it just makes me think of Sadako. Vinesauce is the funny mushroom man and Chuggachuchu is one of TheRunawayGuys I think.

Frostypipo I don’t remember exactly but I think part of it was giving an ironic name to a grass type by making it sound icy. AC/DC is a band and Cavatappi is a pasta. Havasnicko is a reference to the “have a snickers” ads. Prof.Reality is a reference to Honesty Professor Caesar Reality from Book of Mario: Thousands of Doors.

Reikaleavo is another of my favorites, and sounds like raking leaves. Stippysteppo is just something a cat does. Harvard Grad is educated and accomplished and we’re very proud of them. The thought process behind Meat Grinder was Jerma. Randy Savage being right after Meat Grinder was probably from me thinking about Slim Jims.

I first thought to name Babbybinbo “Babbybimbo” because it flows better, but I didn’t want to call the cat a bimbo. ÒwÓ, OwO, and UwU, you’ll notice, are gone over backwards. UwU was first, and then I decided to escalate it two steps. Babarimbo is based on “babarimbus”, a nonsense filler word I’ve used for a while.

Capicola is a type of meat I think. Mangoruby is a boss in Donkey Kong Country Returns. Boinkydoinko was just nonsense but it’s a hell of a lot of fun to say Boinkydoinko and I wanted to type Boinkydoinko again. Nut Columbo was also nonsense I think. Flavorblasto was because goldfish crackers.

Soliloquy is just a word, but I think it was partly based on pukicho’s OC. Chuggatuggo is an activity adults can participate in. And Dimmadimmsdo is a reference to a video about Doug Dimmadome.

I hope this answered like a couple questions. Also to answer a question I’ve seen a couple times of something along the lines of “are you okay?” the answer is yeah I think so okay I love you bye bye.

these are my cats i don't have a problem

[duskwingmoth]

notes and highlights from reading my discord message history (2016):

girl u used to be so sillay. I should get silly with it sometimes

2016 me was a little confused but was also so fucking right about lars steven universe

ough. Failure to recognize imminent trump presidency. You stupid fucking liberal ffs

do u rember enjoying overwatch. I rember...

Liveblogging the sonic 2016 stream like "this new charmy bee album is bussin"

"I just saw the quintessential torb potg"

"beginning with him dying"

hanging on his corpse for the full respawn timer"

"while his turret did the hard work"

"predictably nowhere onscreen"

I was the first drop dash hater. If there are no more drop dash haters i am dead

attempting to read through this sexting now KNOWING FOR SURE i was absolutely faking it is. cringe

S. Skoop. I forgot that i called skype "skoop" (and that there was a brief period where i had it on my phone while discord was on my pc)

Talking about multiple story/game concepts i have since abandoned. Death

Doesn't matter if it's 2013, 2016, or 2024; somebody somewhere is complaining about JJ Abrams. It is probably me

There was a dang stevenbomb when these messages start and tbh I was right on the money abt steven universe in general. More ppl should have listened to me instead

huniepop lmao

I was still in iPhone Hell

Making comments to friends about things i refuse to share or elaborate on. I have learned nothing

playing ALL the hits tbh we even got Complain About Family in here

Scoutposting but it's overwatch

"defense shouldn't have left the point undefended"

Bitch shut UP about Pokémon

Oh my GOD just Shut Up About Video Games in general

The Sword Art Online hater has logged on

All these tumblr links that don't work anymore. Sad

How did i make it to 22 without realizing i was experiencing caffeine withdrawal

Yes yes past robin you've got nintendo diagnosed as fuck can you not sound rude and elitist and also cryptoracist about it

(three hours worth of messages just ranting about nintendo jfc. 2009 youtube would have loved me)

The Traumadumping,

Watch watch. You can see the exact moment steven universe rips her heart in half

Reading through basically all the previous things in varying order. Knowing what's coming up.

The moment

Oh no... The Federation Force announcement. The five stages of grief logged in real time

girl your dick was not out for harambe you did not even know what that meant

Hare-brained game concepts part 3027498: radio station with hundreds of hours of recorded dj voice lines

360 controller sucks send post

It is so easy to tell what youtube poop i was hyperfixated on at any given point

girl u really went looking for and personally banned specific slurs in your twitch chat and proceeded to NEVER STREAM. Self-harm champion. Self-harm's strongest warrior

Oh my god. The inception of steam user gofasthog was on my birthday

Is sent jerma rumble live-action with no prior knowledge or context. Complains

Affirming my girlfriend's life choices and gender. Rare pre-crack based moment

Not long now

The PSVita Chronicles. Very short-lived

"Why is twitter orange" wtf are you on about

September 26th, 2016; 09:00 AM PDT:

There really is like. A shift in my tone after this. Immediately so much performative anger is just gone

"I'm trying not to think about it tbh" no you should be thinking about it more. More please for your health pLEASE think of the hips you are going to lose your chance

Lesbian Gay Bacon Tomato Quiche Ice Arson. I cracked the code

Impostor syndrome. Envy. Jealousy. Girlthing you need to chill

Posting through having my shoes disintegrate instead of asking for a new pair. Lol. Lmao even

Finally watched the jerma rumble series and enjoyed myself. The redemption arc we all deserved and didn't know we needed

Utterly failing to code basic game functions. I needed my girlf frend to help me she is so smart and cute and lovely

the wii u woes

And the switch jokes. They're bad! They're very bad

I had played the paladins beta. You can tell because i complained about torbjörn overwatch again

Civ VI release date, or: how i learned that having good CPU was actually really important

Also the day i committed to my new name

More coding failure

Mere hours before the election polls are called it dawns on us both that we really are going to get a trump presidency and i weep with despair while trying to convince us both that the worst won't happen

(It didn't. We are alive and together)

You can see me desperately struggling with the growing reality that i am not as politically reasonable as i consider myself

A dark pall over the holidays. I won't elaborate. I don’t think it's necessary

[jrwiyuri]

tbh I read all your posts in mulder x files voice bc on the dash your pfp registers as mulder to me. I have only now just realized it is jerma. have a nice day

That is so funny to me please keep doing that 🙏

[shittysawtraps]

Is it weird that I always read your posts in the jerma saw voice?

I barely know who this germ man is but I can assure you it's absolutely not weird.

-Mod Sam

[oyhcomic]

Something to tide y'all and me over till I can work on the comic again: some voice claims. Not all of my characters have a good voice claim rn but these are the ones that are strongest to me. I'll have to think of the rest...does anyone have voices they hear when they read the comic? I'd love to know.

Arwen: Cherami Leigh (red blood cell, Lucy heartfilia, Michiru bna)

Elle: Laura Post (Catherine fe3h)

Schooner: Nathan Vetterlein (scout tf2) and jerma. Sorry it's perfect

Percy: Johnny Yong Bosch (yukio okumura and Vash Trigun

Lucy: Mae Whitman (Amity Blight)

MAMA: Shohreh Aghdashloo (Avasarala from the Expanse)

[oddatbest]

I had a Jerma dream last night...

So, the dream was originally that I was trying to infiltrate the computer systems of some big company so could mess with their whole business, but I get into the server room and it's like 6 old ass Macintosh computers and Jerma is there using 2 of them to stream. He see me and just goes "Oh hey" and keep streaming. Immediately my dream is now about hanging out with Jerma, and somehow in my dream I very sleep too. He's doing his thing and chat is doing theirs and he's just like "can't any of you be normal!" So I put a message in chat that says "Thanks Jerma, I like you!" Which he reads out loud in the Otto voice, emphasizing Like all confused and laughs, asks me "Like? Whyd you write like?" And I just say I though saying love would be too much. I apparently he was doing a thing where he takes comments he enjoys and adds the user to a contest draw, where they can draw something to win the contest. Immediately I start drawing him, but I only draw his hair and start getting really sleepy. I'm sitting beside him tho and he sees it and he's like hey that's pretty good, now just add my head" but he draws his own head shape and makes it HUGE and laughs "Whoops!" He tires to add his own eyes and mouth to match the size of the giant head he made and he cant stop laughing saying "oh dude I'm so sorry, I just - hahaha, what WERE you going to draw?" I explain that i was going to draw him in a suit of armor, he replies "Oh that's kick ass! But oh God my giant head" I say it's fine, as long as I get to borrow the armor, I could use his helmet as a shield. At this he laughs SO hard, and now I'm laughing, and then he gets up saying "I have to leave, I need to take a walk, I'll be back". At some point tho I guess it all got clipped, and he posted it on his discord, and someone animated it. And they had this funny little gray ghost guy to represent me but I never got to watch the clip. Still, made me laugh hard enough I woke up.

[allstarsmash]

TRANSFORMERS for the media asks

UM. well here we go

they are ROBOTS! that TRANSFORM! into BIGGER COOLER ROBOTS!

do they go to space i feel like they’ve been to space before

i know of like three transed formers by name and they are starscream optimus prime and bumblebee

ive read the transfem starscream post enough times that it’s just canon to me. she’s trans good for her. salutes

optimus prime is the transformer that you see on everything i think and bumblebee’s just been cool to me bc i like bugs and their name is a bug so

megatron is the *rat movie jerma voice* giant transformer that makes all of the rules

they’re chill with humans because humans are chill with them? i think?

theres so many transformers i can not keep up with them. there might be like generations of transformers based on the movies and other media maybe? yeah

this image

[clownkiwi]

hate to break it to you but jerma used to post on newgrounds back when he made videos on his website

oh no, i know. i read on his wikipedia article that he used to be a voice actor on newgrounds before tf2 & his streams. thats why i brought him up on that post

[kraglynn]

Okay so… I’m not going to check the tags but I read this, thought for a moment, then read it again in Jerma’s voice and it got like a glove. Is this a post about Jerma?

look, chat, i- no, there’s no way i’d- i’m not going to transmute a human! if you think i’ll commit alchemy's greatest sin you’re fucking- you’re insane. i am NOT going to- draw the transmutation circle. okay? the circle and that’s it. you’re not getting any more from me than- than the circle. the ingredients? maybe. i- okay watch, fucking watch, because i’m not gonna measure this again, i- *activates transmutation circle* WOAHOOHOOHOOHOOo oh FUCK! that fucking HURTS! i- *laughing* “sacrifice another limb”. okay, i- one more, but that’s IT. after that, i’m DONE. *laughing* no! i’m not giving up three body parts!