#posting this while i'm busy getting a lot of other work done in the background

[forsetcabiri]

The Spirit of Effervescent Wonder. Though more tired than that makes him sound.

(A quick sketch of my character in an experimental tabletop campaign for a talk icon)

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

it's time for the long-threatened post about how to get subtitles (including translated ones) for videos that don't have subtitles.

in my experience, the methods in this post can probably get you solidly 75% or more of the content of many videos (caveats inside). i've tested this on videos that are originally in chinese, english, french, german, hindi, japanese, korean, spanish, and honestly probably some languages that i'm forgetting. my experience is that it works adequately in all of them. not great, necessarily, but well enough that you can probably follow along.

this is a very long post because this is the overexplaining things website, and because i talk about several different ways to get the captions. this isn't actually difficult, though, or even especially time consuming—the worst of it is pushing a button and ignoring things for a while. actual hands-on work is probably five minutes tops, no matter how long the video is.

i've attempted to format this post understandably, and i hope it's useful to someone.

first up, some disclaimers.

this is just my experience with things, and your experience might be different. the tools used for (and available for) this kind of thing change all the time, and if you're reading this six months after i wrote it, your options might be different. this post is probably still a decent starting place.

background about my biases in this: i work in the creative industries. mostly i'm a fiction editor. i've also been a writer, a technical editor and writer, a transcriptionist, a copyeditor, and something i've seen called a 'translation facilitator' or 'rewrite editor', where something is translated fairly literally (by a person or a machine) and then a native speaker of the target language goes through and rewrites/restructures as needed to make the piece read more naturally in the target language. i've needed to get information out of business meetings that were conducted in a language i didn't speak, and have done a lot of work on things that were written in (or translated into) the writer's second or sixth language, but needed to be presented in natural english.

so to start, most importantly: machine translation is never going to be as good as a translation done by an actual human. human translators can reflect cultural context and nuanced meanings and the artistry of the work in a way that machines will never be able to emulate. that said, if machine translation is your only option, it's better than nothing. i also find it really useful for videos in languages where i have enough knowledge that i'm like, 75% sure that i'm mostly following, and just want something that i can glance at to confirm that.

creating subs like this relies heavily on voice-to-text, which—unfortunately—works a lot better in some situations than it does in others. you'll get the best, cleanest results from videos that have slow, clear speech in a 'neutral' accent, and only one person speaking at a time. (most scripted programs fall into this category, as do many vlogs and single-person interviews.) the results will get worse as voices speed up, overlap more, and vary in volume. that said, i've used this to get captions for cast concerts, reality shows, and variety shows, and the results are imperfect but solidly readable, especially if you have an idea of what's happening in the plot and/or can follow along even a little in the broadcast language.

this also works best when most of the video is in a single language, and you select that language first. the auto detect option sometimes works totally fine, but in my experience there's a nonzero chance that it'll at least occasionally start 'detecting' random other languages in correctly, or someone will say a few words in spanish or whatever, but the automatic detection engine will keep trying to translate from spanish for another three minutes, even tho everything's actually in korean. if there's any way to do so, select the primary language, even if it means that you miss a couple sentences that are in a different language.

two places where these techniques don't work, or don't work without a lot of manual effort on your part: translating words that appear on the screen (introductions, captions, little textual asides, etc), and music. if you're incredibly dedicated, you can do this and add it manually yourself, but honestly, i'm not usually this dedicated. getting captions for the words on the screen will involve either actually editing the video or adding manually translated content to the subs, which is annoying, and lyrics are...complicated. it's possible, and i'm happy to talk about it in another post if anyone is interested, but for the sake of this post, let's call it out of scope, ok? ok. bring up the lyrics on your phone and call it good enough.

places where these techniques are not great: names. it's bad with names. names are going to be mangled. resign yourself to it now. also, in languages that don't have strongly gendered speech, you're going to learn some real fun stuff about the way that the algorithms gender things. (spoiler: not actually fun.) bengali, chinese, and turkish are at least moderately well supported for voice-to-text, but you will get weird pronouns about it.

obligatory caveat about ai and voice-to-text functionality. as far as i'm aware, basically every voice-to-text function is ~ai powered~. i, a person who has spent twenty years working in the creative industries, have a lot of hate for generative ai, and i'm sure that many of you do, too. however, if voice-to-text (or machine translation software) that doesn't rely on it exists anymore, i'm not aware of it.

what we're doing here is the same as what douyin/tiktok/your phone's voice-to-text does, using the same sorts of technology. i mention this because if you look at the tools mentioned in this post, at least some of them will be like 'our great ai stuff lets you transcribe things accurately', and i want you to know why. chat gpt (etc) are basically glorified predictive text, right? so for questions, they're fucking useless, but for things like machine transcription and machine translation, those predictions make it more likely that you get the correct words for things that could have multiple translations, or for words that the software can only partially make out. it's what enables 'he has muscles' vs 'he has mussels', even though muscles and mussels are generally pronounced the same way. i am old enough to have used voice to text back when it was called dictation software, and must grudgingly admit that this is, in fact, much better.

ok! disclaimers over.

let's talk about getting videos

for the most part, this post will assume that you have a video file and nothing else. cobalt.tools is the easiest way i'm aware of to download videos from most sources, though there are other (more robust) options if you're happy to do it from the command line. i assume most people are not, and if you are, you probably don't need this guide anyhow.

i'm going to use 'youtube' as the default 'get a video from' place, but generally speaking, most of this works with basically any source that you can figure out how to download from—your bilibili downloads and torrents and whatever else will work the same way. i'm shorthanding things because this post is already so so long.

if the video you're using has any official (not autogenerated) subtitles that aren't burned in, grab that file, too, regardless of the language. starting from something that a human eye has looked over at some point is always going to give you better results. cobalt.tools doesn't pull subtitles, but plugging the video url into downsub or getsubs and then downloading the srt option is an easy way to get them for most places. (if you use downsub, it'll suggest that you download the full video with subtitles. that's a link to some other software, and i've never used it, so i'm not recommending it one way or the other. the srts are legit, tho.)

the subtitle downloaders also have auto translation options, and they're often (not always) no worse than anything else that we're going to do here—try them and see if they're good enough for your purposes. unfortunately, this only works for things that already have subtitles, which is…not that many things, honestly. so let's move on.

force-translating, lowest stress mode.

this first option is kind of a cheat, but who cares. youtube will auto-caption things in some languages (not you, chinese) assuming that the uploader has enabled it. as ever, the quality is kinda variable, and the likelihood that it's enabled at all seems to vary widely, but if it is, you're in for a much easier time of things, because you turn it on, select whatever language you want it translated to, and youtube…does its best, anyhow.

if you're a weird media hoarder like me and you want to download the autogenerated captions, the best tool that i've found for this is hyprscribr. plug in the video url, select 'download captions via caption grabber', then go to the .srt data tab, copy it out, and paste it into a text file. save this as [name of downloaded video].[language code].srt, and now you have captions! …that you need to translate, which is actually easy. if it's a short video, just grab the text, throw it in google translate (timestamps and all), and then paste the output into a new text file. so if you downloaded cooking.mp4, which is in french, you'll have three files: cooking.mp4, cooking.fr.srt, and cooking.en.srt. this one's done! it's easy! you're free!

but yeah, ok, most stuff isn't quite that easy, and auto-captioning has to be enabled, and it has some very obvious gaps in the langauges it supports. which is sort of weird, because my phone actually has pretty great multilingual support, even for things that youtube does not. which brings us to low-stress force translation option two.

use your phone

this seems a little obvious, but i've surprised several people with this information recently, so just in case. for this option, you don't even need to have downloaded the video—if it's a video you can play on your phone, the phone will almost definitely attempt real-time translation for you. i'm sure iphones have this ability, but i'm an android person, so can only provide directions for that: go into settings and search for (and enable) live translation. the phone will do its best to pick up what's being said and translate it on the fly for you, and if 'what's being said' is a random video on the internet, your phone isn't gonna ask questions. somewhat inexplicably, this works even if the video is muted. i do this a lot at like four a.m. when i'm too lazy to grab earbuds but don't want to wake up my wife.

this is the single least efficient way to force sub/translate things, in my opinion, but it's fast and easy, and really useful for those videos that are like a minute long and probably not that interesting, but like…what if it is, you know? sometimes i'll do this to decide if i'm going to bother more complicated ways of translating things.

similarly—and i feel silly even mentioning this, but that i didn't think of it for an embarrassingly long time—if you're watching something on a device with speakers, you can try just…opening the 'translate' app on your phone. they all accept voice input. like before, it'll translate whatever it picks up.

neither of these methods are especially useful for longer videos, and in my experience, the phone-translation option generally gives the least accurate translation, because in attempting to do things in real time, you lose some of the predicative ability that i was talking about earlier. (filling in the blank for 'he has [muscles/mussels]' is a lot harder if you don't know if the next sentence is about the gym or about dinner.)

one more lazy way

this is more work than the last few options, but often gives better results. with not much effort, you can feed a video playing on your computer directly into google translate. there's a youtube video by yosef k that explains it very quickly and clearly. this will probably give you better translation output than any of the on-the-fly phone things described above, but it won't give you something that you can use as actual subs—it just produces text output that you can read while you watch the video. again, though, really useful for things that you're not totally convinced you care about, or for things where there aren't a lot of visuals, or for stuff where you don't care about keeping your eyes glued to the screen.

but probably you want to watch stuff on the screen at the same time.

let's talk about capcut!

this is probably not a new one for most people, but using it like this is a little weird, so here we go. ahead of time: i'm doing this on an actual computer. i think you probably can do it on your phone, but i have no idea how, and honestly this is already a really long guide so i'm not going to figure it out right now. download capcut and put it on an actual computer. i'm sorry.

anyhow. open up capcut, click new project. import the file that you downloaded, and then drag it down to the editing area. go over to captions, auto captions, and select the spoken language. if you want bilingual captions, pick the language for that, as well, and the captions will be auto-translated into whatever the second language you choose is. (more notes on this later.)

if i remember right, this is the point at which you get told that you can't caption a video that's more than an hour long. however. you have video editing software, and it is open. split the video in two pieces and caption them separately. problem solved.

now the complicated part: saving these subs. (don't panic; it's not actually that complicated.) as everyone is probably aware, exporting captions is a premium feature, and i dunno about the rest of you, but i'm unemployed, so let's assume that's not gonna happen.

the good news is that since you've generated the captions, they're already saved to your computer, they're just kinda secret right now. there are a couple ways to dig them out, but the easiest i'm aware of is the biyaoyun srt generator. you'll have to select the draft file of your project, which is auto-saved once a minute or something. the website tells you where the file is saved by default on your computer. (i realised after writing this entire post that they also have a step-by-step tutorial on how to generate the subtitles, with pictures, so if you're feeling lost, you can check that out here.)

select the project file titled 'draft_content', then click generate. you want the file name to be the same as the video name, and again, i'd suggest srt format, because it seems to be more broadly compatible with media players. click 'save to local' and you now have a subtitle file!

translating your subtitles

you probably still need to translate the subtitles. there are plenty of auto-translation options out there. many of them are fee- or subscription-based, or allow a very limited number of characters, or are like 'we provide amazing free translations' and then in the fine print it says that they provide these translations through the magic of uhhhh google translate. so we're just going to skip to google translate, which has the bonus of being widely available and free.

for shorter video, or one that doesn't have a ton of spoken stuff, you can just copy/paste the contents of the .srt file into the translation software of your choice. the web version of google translate will do 5000 characters in one go, as will systran. that's the most generous allocation that i'm aware of, and will usually get you a couple minutes of video.

the timestamps eat up a ton of characters, though, so for anything longer than a couple minutes, it's easier to upload the whole thing, and google translate is the best for that, because it is, to my knowledge, the only service that allows you to do it. to upload the whole file, you need a .doc or .rtf file.

an .srt file is basically just a text file, so you can just open it in word (or gdocs or whatever), save it as a .doc, and then feed it through google translate. download the output, open it, and save it as an .srt.

you're done! you now have your video and a subtitle file in the language of your choice.

time for vibe, the last option in this post.

vibe is a transcription app (not a sex thing, even tho it sounds like one), and it will also auto-translate the transcribed words to english, if you want.

open vibe and select your file, then select the language. if you want it translated to english, hit advanced and toggle 'translate to english'. click translate and wait a while. after a few minutes (or longer, depending on how long the file is), you'll get the text. the save icon is a folder with a down arrow on it, and i understand why people are moving away from tiny floppy disks, but also: i hate it. anyhow, save the output, and now you have your subs file, which you can translate or edit or whatever, as desired.

vibe and capcom sometimes get very different results. vibe seems to be a little bit better at picking up overlapping speech, or speech when there are other noises happening; capcom seems to be better at getting all the worlds in a sentence. i feel like capcom maybe has a slightly better translation engine, of the two of them, but i usually end up just doing the translation separately. again, it can be worth trying both ways and seeing which gives better results.

special notes about dual/bilingual subs

first: i know that bilingual subs are controversial. if you think they're bad, you don't have to use them! just skip this section.

as with everything else, automatically generating gives mixed results. sometimes the translations are great, and sometimes they're not. i like having dual subs, but for stuff that Matters To Me, for whatever reason, i'll usually generate both just the original and a bilingual version, and then try some other translation methods on the original or parts thereof to see what works best.

not everything displays bilingual subs very well. plex and windows media player both work great, vlc and the default video handler on ubuntu only display whatever the first language is, etc. i'm guessing that if you want dual subbed stuff you already have a system for it.

i'll also point out that if you want dual subs and have gone a route other than capcom, you can create dual subs by pasting the translated version and the untranslated version into a single file. leave the timestamps as they are, delete the line numbers if there are any (sometimes they seem to cause problems when you have dual subs, and i haven't figured out why) and then literally just paste the whole sub file for the first language into a new file. then paste in the whole sub file for the second language. yes, as a single chunk, the whole thing, right under the first language's subs. save the file as [video name].[zh-en].srt (or whatever), and use it like any other sub file.

notes on translation, especially since we're talking about lengthy machine-translations of things.

i default to translation options that allow for translating in large chunks, mostly because i'm lazy. but since an .srt is, again, literally just a text file, they're easy to edit, and if you feel like some of the lines are weird or questionable or whatever, it's easy to change them if you can find a better translation.

so: some fast notes on machine translation options, because i don't know how much time most people spend thinking about this kind of stuff.

one sort of interesting thing to check out is the bing translator. it'll only do 1000 characters at once, but offers the rather interesting option of picking a level of formality. i can't always get it to work, mind, but it's useful especially for times when you're like 'this one line sounds weird'—sometimes the difference between what the translator feels is standard vs formal vs casual english will make a big difference.

very fast illustration of the difference in translations. the random video that i used to make sure i didn't miss any steps explaining things starts with '所以你第二季来'. here's how it got translated:

google: So you come to season 2

google's top alternative: So you come in the second season

bing's standard tone: So here you come for the second season

bing set to casual: So you're coming for the second season, huh?

reverso default guess: So you come in season two

reverso alternate guess: You'll be participating in season two

capcom: So you come in season two

yandex: So you come in the second season

systran: That's why you come in season two

deepl: That's why you're here in season two

vibe: So your second season is here

technically all conveying the same information, but the vibes are very different. sometimes one translator or another will give you a clearly superior translation, so if you feel like the results you're getting are kinda crap, try running a handful of lines through another option and see if it's better.

ok! this was an incredibly long post, and i've almost definitely explained something poorly. again, there are almost certainly better ways to do this, but these ways are free and mostly effective, and they work most of the time, and are better than nothing.

feel free to ask questions and i'll answer as best i can. (the answer to any questions about macs or iphones is 'i'm so sorry, i have no idea tho.' please do not ask those questions.)

[ouchthathurts]

Hey, so I saw your comment on bloomingattorney's post. Might want to check out GBPatch's comments on reddit. She's doubling down on the biphobia.

See, now this is upsetting. What happened to Rose is understandably fucked up because being doxed and harassed like this is absolutely awful and never an okay or just thing to do.

It was disappointing hearing someone on the team had such amazing ideas such as the skin color chart but having a strict mindset on what it meant to be gay/pan and being trans. As someone who genderfluid, pan, and afro-latino, I was disappointed to see someone like me have such heinous views and be in a position be a hinder to the group.

My main problem comes from GPatch themselves and how they handled it, while being a face of a company and working with many others of the same community and having your audience also be a part of your community there's a responsibility you carry with such a position.

The people see how you're constantly pulling the "I trust them" card instead of listening to what people have to say and taking the time to look over Rose's actions under another lense such as trans people who share terri's experience, people who are bi/pan, people who happen to be male being into tam, and so on and so forth. rather than trying to understand the people and fix the problem which would be holding Rose accountable for what they said on the issue.

I read over the post that happened between blossoming and Rose and the way Rose handled it was not okay, even if it was before they were hired. If Rose has changed from that then that's great, that's amazing even, the problem comes from not doing a background check on someone who holds a view of a community that there in with such an awful mindset.

Rose can change for the better and be allowed another chance, the problem is that instead of holding Rose accountable, speaking about how this effected your fanbase and how Rose will be stepping down sounds a lot better than just releasing tons of statements and trying to paint with a pastel on black background.

GBPatch should've taken the time and waited for the situation, I've seen tons of people who release content immediately hurt themselves and their credibility by speaking on the subject too fast and ruining themselves in the eyes of the public.

Wait till the emotion dies down in you before responding and don't sit there and defend the person you know has done wrong with proof. I'm not talking about what Rose said about GBPatch, they hashed it out in dms and that's their business, my problem comes with what they had said how that reflects on a company's image if they're allowing someone with these views to speak on these issues for a community.

That's bad representation, and then defending them because you know them is a whole other can worms due to the fact you're not really listening to your audience. It's not about Rose as a person but about what was Rose said and how he's going to rectify it, there is no reason for him to be on a team where he represents a group, and he ruins the fun for everyone by policing and saying what should or should not be done to LGBTQ+ characters.

Rose doesn't have that experience to say that because of the mindset that shows he doesn't see it as a spectrum but instead a certain way people have to be once they've found what they are.

We understand Rose has changed and we understand that Rose is trying for the better, we understand. The problem is how you're addressing the people's concerns and instead of talking to them and hoping to get an expansion on how they feel from their favorite creator of their favorite game, you sit there and defend them just because you know them personally.

If Rose still held those views of pan/biphobia, eld those views that trans people have to dress a certain way after transition, and immaturely called everyone bigots who have a point in conversation.

Would you still be saying the same thing?

This isn't about Rose changing, or Rose being your friend, or whatever else.

This is about how Rose, as a BIPOC and member of the LGBTQ+ community, holds these disgusting views and how they should at least step down from the team until they've broadened their horizons with new people and different experiences before speaking out against something with a close mindset.

Talking about how Terri's clothes were sexual just because they hugged his body, and the many other things said in the tumblr post alongside the response was very something to behold and the response being more irritating because of how it makes communities look when trying to make a point because Rose's point was ignorant and their response only doubling down on such ignorance and using the idea of being a BIPOC and/or apart of LGBTQ+ to escape criticism is disgusting and a bad look on the community.

I get it if it was a joke but it clearly wasn't in this context.

With my final thoughts coming to mind

The main problem I had with final statement is that Rose left due to harassment, Rose should not have been harassed in the first place and doxed, what should've happened was Rose being fired or at least taking the time to learn more due to the negligence and ignorance of other people's, especially queer, situations.

The situation has definitely been thrown out of proportions, I understand people not wanting them to work on the team but doxing is never a good thing to do and harassment is never okay. My advice? Block them and report it to the creator about their worker's close minded views.

Alongside that, GBPatch in future controversies and dramas, taking a step back and reflecting on everting before making a statement instead of responding on emotion instantly. It makes it look like you're arguing with your fanbase, defending someone who is being held accountable for their actions and so on and so forth.

It's good you're calling out the awful people making the situation worse, those people should not be a part of the community to come and harm and put people's lives in danger. That's a good place to start following it with talking about what Rose did, I get the whole 'I know them' and 'They've changed' argument but save that until after you've discussed what happened.

You gotta understand that as a company, why you won't meet everyone's expectations of what they want, you have to try and salvage the part of your audience that really does want to stay and give them a reason to want to stay and that being letting Rose go and grow more as a person to come back with a wider horizon. There a people genuinely hurt and offended by what Rose said, they are are apart of the community and want to feel comfortable in this space made for all and with someone with a close mindset acting this way and publicly working alongside you it makes the game’s community not feel as good to be a part of

I get that Rose has done great things for the game, I’m more than thankful the skin color expansion, but Rose leaving the project for however long he decides was for the best, not under these disgusting circumstances of harassment and doxing, also the disgusting and childish behavior of a fan base to be jerks and bigots is not okay at all. There is a way to handle things and the situation should’ve been handled better by all sides.

That's all my thoughts, I'm open to discussions and other interpretations because everyone is different.

To qoute blossoming-attorney, "It's not about wanting them to feel bad about it. It's about how I feel this may affect the game. These close-minded (in my opinion) views on trans people's bodies are unacceptable. "

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Script progress + Updates💙

Hello and welcome new followers, long time no see! I was very busy most of this month, but I am back and ready to continue from where I left off on the game! This game development post might be a bit long but I tried to condense everything! :]

"How are things going so far?":

It's going slow and steady! I haven't been able to do too much these past few weeks, however, I wrote a few parts out before I got too busy and couldn't do anything else.

I want to be very careful when it comes to spoilers but, based on your choices, some of these areas will give off immersive cozy/homelike vibes that really express Noah and the player(Y/N)'s view towards each other. In the old 2023 script I was very new to writing so the small semi-hints of romance weren't the entire focus compared to the horror aspect but there's a better balance between both genres now and I'm still aiming for a meaningful slow burn versus it just being all over the place. :] I liked writing them a whole bunch which lead to a lot of these taking place in the mid/end of Day 4+, they just need to be placed in specific areas that call for it. With that being said, it felt really comfy adding key details about Noah and creating meaningful sections in the game. I was even going to draw out some of the unseen script/scenes but I believe the best thing to do is give deeper lore from the [Extended Demo] first. Even though my writing style has improved I still have to fix the multiple pacing issues I wrote last year.

"Playtester's advice":

I wanted to continue working through Noah's backstory but I kept having moments where I'd get sidetracked into wanting to fix up the start of the game again. Eventually, I talked to my play testers about it and they gave me a few encouraging pointers.

To help keep my process at ease, I will fix the beginning of the game when I take breaks from writing up Noah's backstory. :]

I talked about this during early 2024 but the start of the game that leads up to the cabin is still getting reworked. I was able to get some of it fixed for the [Extended Demo] but I wasn't done. Things are still up in the air but, I will say that I have a better view of everything than I did before. :] Another priority that needs fixing are the backgrounds! I've improved a lot on drawing and they need to be optimized. When you first start up the game, you wake up in a holed out tree in the swamp with the choice to leave this area and possibly end up in the forest. I was going for a very immersive form of symbolism that only a few noticed but, I believe I can do a better job about this. Unfortunately I don't have any new backgrounds to show right now but maybe next week I'll have some finished up! :]

"Art process/Noah's sprite sheets":

As far as Noah sprite sheet goes, it's still in sketch mode.

I didn't draw anything since I was gone so I need to do a few warm ups before I get to them. There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and old sketches that I never got a chance to doodle so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]

My Q&A / Ask box has been reset!

Thank you to those who have sent in asks in the past, unfortunately they all disappeared except for 1 while I was gone. I have no idea what happened but I can only guess it just got reset.

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask or resend them in here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

This is all I have to share so far, Thank you to everyone for the continued support and patience while I was gone! I was ready to accept the interest for this game to fade out and coming back to see that it didn't happen makes me happy, I really appreciate it. :,]

[still-a-morosexual-help]

@bigprincessrebel hi! I just saw your ask and ummmm so it's gonna have to be part of a somewhat bigger series of posts? I already have two asks about the morality of demons that I'm going to turn into one post, I've got a post about the functioning of the Celestial Realm vs Devildom and how that affects their morality/values in my drafts -> both would relate a lot to your ask. I also have a post about religion vs the the Celestial Realm & Devildom floating around somewhere that I should find cause it's also relevant. But I'm really busy these days so all that might take some time so till then here's a summary of my thoughts

I think it's dumb to believe Diavolo's a shitty ruler because he wants peace between the realms and demons are supposed to be evil? And to believe that the other demons won't like him because of that? Because:

1. The game literally said that Diavolo's voted the most popular demon every year

2. Lots of the background demons have made friends with not only MC (a human) but also with the angels. Hell Luke has demon friends outside of the main characters. Also like pretty sure lots of demons are romantically attracted to humans? Given how there was a queue to give MC Valentine's day presents

Okay but here are the more serious points:

3. It's heavily implied and straight up shown that the Celestial Realm does not equal Heaven the same way the Devildom does not equal Hell. (I have a whole post breaking this down and going into detail that I'll add when I properly answer your ask) meaning that in the same way that OM's angels' aren't inherently good, its demons aren't inherently bad. If you actually stop and look at it, you'll notice that the angels are more prone to everyday violence than the demons eg: Diavolo's solution to stopping an angry dragon being talking to it while Simeon's was to fight it (and we see that Diavolo's solution actually worked). Michael's punishments as an angel were scarier than Lucifer's punishments as a demon. Just generally how trigger happy Raphael is vs how weirdly kind Mammon is

4. OM! may borrow characters and certain plot elements from christianity but it's not a direct parallel or reflection of it so if you try to apply the logic of the "real" stories to these characters then the characters and the world they live in stop making sense and you get a warped version of the story where the demons are pure evil and Diavolo's a shitty leader for trying to go against their nature. The best way, in my opinion, to enjoy it is to acknowledge that there are similarities but ultimately analyse it independently. Using the lens of christianity to look at stories that don't completely follow it is how you end up with things like Disney's Hercules (a fun time but not accurate to the actual source material)

5. A BIG part of obey me is about overcoming prejudice. Like it's not even subtext. It's right there. The angels are shown to see demons as pure evil and a big part of the story is showing them that actually they're also just people. We see this in the Devilgram where Lucifer & Diavolo first meet, in the flashback where Simeon and Diavolo first meet, this is literally the entirety of Luke's arc/character development and in certain things said and done by Michael, Raphael and even Mammon. This....this huge part of the story wouldn't work if the demons actually were evil and Diavolo was just an idealistic idiot...

Anyway this was the summarised version, believe it or not!

[fountainpenguin]

Updates

With all the rate-limiting going on with AO3, I'm so glad I got my fics downloaded in December rather than waiting 1 more month, haha.

In other news, I made myself a living dex spreadsheet plan last night, and I'm really excited. It was a lot of effort, but my living dex is much more within reach than I thought.

On Tuesday, I did a big clean of my bedroom and on Wednesday, I wiped and vacuumed everything. Feeling like I'm in a decent place now in my personal space.

Fanfic Updates: Posting a "Studying the Cloudlands" chapter on AO3 tonight, no Tuesday updates for the next two weeks, then a Dog's Life chapter February 11th. Lots of writing going on!

I expect to have the final chapter of "Kisses Full of Broken Glass" up on the 31st, and that's when it gets its Tumblr post. No FOP works after that for a bit, so I'll be posting "Studying Cloudlands" for a few more weeks.

Doing buffer-building behind the scenes for FOP and MCYT, with Dog's Life still updating once a month. "Chalaza" is next on the list to finish, followed by "Closed Door Policy" and my Guess the Author works, "Top 10 Hanahaki Life Hacks" & "The Candles We Light." There are one-shots coming this year as well as Neighborhood Watch AU updates. Also working on the bestiaries for "Herobrine's Guide to the Between Dimension."

I also think it would be cool to do 50 Words challenges for the traffic duos/teams I enjoy. No promises because those can really take a lot out of me, but it's something I've been thinking of for a few months and you might see some of those towards the end of the year.

From September to the end of the year, I'll be very busy and updates will likely slow down. 50 Words projects are nice because they can be 50 standalone scenes, sometimes just 1 sentence long, so they're handy for times I'm struggling to pull together a big emotional plot with lots of dialogue. Keeping them in my back pocket for that time of year, and using my brainpower on one-shots and multi-chapters right now.

For FOP, I have a lot to do for Frayed Knots. Origin of the Pixies is still on hiatus until Knots catches up, and then they'll alternate updates during the war chapters. Getting close!

I might get my Fairy New Year's multi-chapter out this March. No promises, but it's something I've wanted to get out every year and never made time for, so... maybe this year. I'm struggling with the next pieces in the 130 Prompts, but there are overlaps between them and "Kisses Full of Broken Glass," which is why I've been working on the latter. No regrets there, and hoping to come back to the 130 with fresh eyes.

I'm planning more "50 Words" pieces for the Dimmadome timeline (City Lights AU), and when that's done, we'll circle back with non-Dimmadome things (Ex: "50 Words of Hazel and Antony").

I have an AU I'm working on in the background called "Hazel Says Hello." Nothing to share yet, but you might see that later this year. I'd like to get the whole multi-chapter work done so I can post it with regular updates when the time is right.

Lastly, I'm planning to do more short bios and character profiles, but like the above note on 50 Words challenges, I'm keeping those in my pocket for later in the year when I might have snippets of time to throw down words, but might not have the brainpower for building nice plots, scenes, and dialogue. Prioritizing buffer-building now while I have more time and energy, especially for Knots!

Fingers crossed that I get us through the war chapters by the end of 2025. There aren't too many of them and almost everything except the Frayed Knots chapters leading up to the war has already been written, so here's to hoping!

Thanks for reading my work! I'll make a more polished 2025 Fanfic Plans post at a later time, but here's some overview info of my buffer stuff for now.

[whoficky]

A Bit of Everywhere - Chapter 1

Sequel to Neither Here Nor There. Definitely read that before reading this!

Note: Holy cow, I'm finally posting this! After years of outlining and getting distracted by other projects, I'm diving back into this one.

Rating: T

Pairing: 10th Doctor X Rose Tyler

Work Summary: Rose and the Doctor are eager to get back to their old life of travel and adventure, but it's not as simple as running off into the stars. They now have two different universes to call home, their relationship to figure out, and a lot of recovering to do.

Chapter 1

Jackie Tyler sipped from a delicate china cup and sighed when the clock over the sink told her only three minutes had passed since the last time she’d checked.  She wondered how she was going to fill the rest of the afternoon in this big empty mansion until Tony got home from school and footie practice.  She’d been foolish to dismiss the staff early today with the gloomy mood she’d felt coming on.  Now she didn’t even have the murmur of their bustling in the background to keep her company.  

She briefly considered ringing a car and going to pick Tony up early, but quickly thought better of it.  Her normally brash little boy had gotten skittish about certain things - late night phone calls, his parents picking him up from school instead of the nanny, any unexpected breaks in his routine.  The five-year-old was tough, but losing his big sister, his hero, had left its mark.  No, she’d just have to wait the extra time for Tony to get home.  She’d figure out some way to keep busy in the meantime.  

Keeping busy - that was the key to surviving this.  She’d learned a thing to two about grief when she’d lost her first Pete.  Though this new loss was so much worse, she knew the same old rules applied.  She knew if she stayed busy, if she didn’t let her mind wander, the pain of her missing daughter could be contained to a dull ache in her chest.  Sometimes she felt guilty for packaging it all up and trying not to think about Rose.  But if she didn’t keep her heartbreak and worry in check, Jackie wouldn’t be able to function.  She still had a husband and little boy who needed her.  She had to stay strong for them.    

And she could.  She could find it in her to carry on, to push all the pain down until it was hidden in the deepest parts of her.  She could do it…well, most of the time.  But in moments like this, when her socialite friends had finished brunch and left for their own errands, and it was still hours until Tony got home, there was nothing to distract her.  So, she dwelled.  At least for a little while.  She sipped at her tea and thought back on the horrible past year.  

 Jackie had missed her daughter when she’d gone back to America for her third year at uni, but the feeling had been mixed with hope as she saw Rose working so hard to build a better life for herself.  Though she worried about Rose running herself into the ground with all her studies, Jackie had thought her daughter actually seemed happy on occasion at that big fancy school.  Being just a regular girl around regular people her own age had done Rose some good.  And Jackie had thought, quite falsely, that her daughter was safe in that American college town far away from the press and Torchwood and bloody aliens.

But then her Rose had been taken.  There had been no sign of her little girl in months, and even when Jackie was fooling herself the most, she couldn’t imagine that Rose was safe.  Dead, probably.  And that wasn’t even the worst case scenario Jackie’s mind had come up with.  She’d talked to Rose’s mate Kimberly plenty of times about the night Rose was kidnapped.  Jackie knew about the bus footage of Rose fighting that goopy alien.  She knew about the blood and the busted mobile.  She’d seen the photos, though she wished she hadn’t.  They’d been in a folder she’d accidentally knocked off Pete’s desk in the early days after Rose’s disappearance.  Back then, when it had just happened and there was still hope, Jackie had spent a lot of time in her husband’s Torchwood office.  She’d wanted to be there to get updates as they came in.  

That terrible evening, Pete had found her kneeling on the floor a shaking mess, crying hysterically with grisly photographs scattered around her.  He’d sat next to her on the generic office carpet and just held her as she sobbed.  She reckons that was when she first realized she’d probably never see her daughter again.  Somehow, her and Pete had gotten themselves stitched back together before it was time to head home to take over for the nanny and put Tony to bed.  And that is what life had been ever since.  Her and Pete were just holding themselves together for each other and Tony.  What else could they do?  Any lead in Rose’s case had gone cold months ago.  Jackie knew she’d likely just have to live with never knowing what happened to her daughter.  It was just like that horrid year when Rose went missing off the estate, except this time it would last the rest of her life.

Catching a tear rolling down her cheek, Jackie wiped at it angrily and stood up, determined to find something to do.  The house was too quiet.  She was too…alone.  She needed to distract herself.  She’d bake, she decided.  She had all this obscenely expensive cookware now.  She should make some use of it.  She’d turn on the kitchen telly, get lost in someone else’s melodramatic story, and make Tony a snack that was far more elaborate than a five-year-old warranted.

And so, she was elbows deep in a batch of lemon-scented dough when she heard it.  

For half a second, Jackie brushed it off as some wind through the trees.  But as that wheezing, alien sound pulsed and grew louder, she froze, flushing with recognition.  

After all these years…  

“The heartbeat of the Universe” Rose had called it when they’d gotten tipsy off cheap box wine one evening.  Jackie didn’t know about all that, but there was something about that sound.  Rose had seemed to always be listening for it.  And since she’d lost her daughter, Jackie realized she had taken up the mantle.       

Taking time only to wipe the worst of the sticky dough off her hands, Jackie was off, running as fast as her stiff knees would allow towards the sound of the TARDIS.  If she wasn’t mistaken, it was coming from her front garden.  And wasn’t it just like the bloody alien to annihilate her carefully sculpted hedges when he landed.

The sun nearly blinded her as she ran down the front steps, but Jackie just shielded her eyes and searched for a special sort of blue out of the greens and pinks of her late summer garden.  And there it was, smoking slightly and crushing her hedges, as she’d guessed.

Jackie wheeled to a stop in front of that damned and wonderful blue box, heart pounding.  She dared to hope that maybe Rose was in there.  The last time her daughter had gone missing she’d come back that way.  It was all Jackie could do to stay still and wait for the doors to squeak open.

When they finally did, it wasn’t her Rose who greeted her, but a beaming Doctor - rudely looking not a day older than the last time she’d seen him.  

“Jackie! Long time, no see!” he grinned before sweeping her up into an unexpected hug.  She barely returned the embrace, glad as she was to see him.  As soon as he set her down, she couldn’t seem to stop the desperate words from pouring out.

“Have you come to find her?” She asked, the edge of tears in her voice, “Because she’s gone Doctor!  Rose is gone and it’s been months and we’ve done all we can and maybe she’s dead like everyone says, but now you’re here, and I’ve seen you do some ‘mazing things and -”

“Mum!” the sound of her daughter’s voice brought Jackie to an abrupt halt.  Before she had time to fully realize what was happening, her daughter, her precious little girl was rushing into her arms.

“Oh sweetheart!” Jackie cried, wrapping her daughter in a tight embrace, “Oh Rose, you’re safe.  I thought - ” 

“Rose!  No!” the Doctor cut in, sounding panicked of all things.  

A moment later, Jackie found out why.  Rose jerked with a little cry of pain and Jackie found herself struggling to support her daughter’s weight as she sank towards the ground.  The Doctor leapt forward, taking Rose into his arms and easing her fall.  He was so careful, so gentle as he cradled her in his lap.  It was a stark contrast to the anger that replaced his alarm once she was settled in his arms. 

 “What in Rassilon’s name do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed, “What part about ‘stay here’ and ‘wait for me’ didn’t you understand?  You can’t do this Rose!  You can’t keep doing this to me.  You can’t keep making me watch you - ooooff!”  Jackie cuffed him soundly in the back of the head.  

“Don’t you yell at my daughter!” she stormed, overcome with emotion and fully prepared to let it all loose on him.  That bloody alien!  Jackie was sure all this was somehow his fault.  All those months of hearing nothing - probably his rubbish driving again.    

“Mum!  Stop, ’s ok!” Rose tried to break in.

“Oh no, I’ll not have him sauntering back here, ruining half my garden and -”

“Mum, please!” Rose said reaching out towards Jackie until the motion caused her to wince in pain.

Where Rose’s pleading had failed, her obvious discomfort caught Jackie’s attention and cooled her ire.  She sank down next to the pair of them, taking Rose’s hand in both of hers.  Now that she had a moment to really look at her daughter, Jackie noticed the battered state she was in.  What she had thought were odd shadows was actually mottled bruising all over Rose’s skin.  Her eyes were dull and sunken and blimey, was she pale.  Jackie wondered how Rose had even made it out of the TARDIS with the large splint that went from one ankle all the way up above her hips.

“Oh Rose,” she gasped, “Oh sweetheart, what happened to you?  What hurts?  What can I do?”    

After a few deep breaths, Rose squeezed Jackie’s hand and panted, “’M fine Mum.”  At the Doctor’s snort she amended, “Well, not fine, not yet, but I will be.  Got the Doctor lookin’ after me,” she offered a warm smile up at the still cross-looking Doctor before focusing back on Jackie, “S’ not his fault I’m a bad patient.  None of this is his fault.  He was taken too.  I’m so - I’m so sorry I’ve been gone…” her voice cracked as her face crumpled on the last sentence. 

“Oh Rose, none of that now,” Jackie wiped at her own tears with her free hand, “Look, you’ve got me goin’ too.”

The Doctor helped Rose sit up and then gently guided her into Jackie's arms.  She wrapped her daughter in a careful hug and stroked her hair, “Oh sweetheart, it’s alright.  I’m here,” she soothed even as she cried with relief and confusion and, oh, about a hundred other things. “I missed you so much, love.  It’s all ok now though.  You’re back.  I got you back.”

Rose slowly settled as Jackie continued to rub her back like she’d done since she was a little girl.  Didn’t matter if was a skinned knee on the playground or a bloke being a prat.  Didn’t matter if Jackie was a mess herself.  She always had her arms open for her daughter.   

“Thanks Mum,” Rose sniffed finally, “I missed you too.  I missed you so much.”

“What happened sweetheart?” Jackie asked again, “Where have you been?  It’s been months!”   She met the Doctor’s eyes over Rose’s shoulder, silently pleading for information.

 “Jackie,” he said calmly, “We’ll explain everything, I promise, but we’ve had quite the bumpy trip here, and I think it would be best for Rose to go lay down.  Now.”

And just like that, Jackie was in Mum Mode.  She could fix this.  Rose was alive and here, and finally, there was something Jackie could do.

 “‘Course!” she said, leaning back on her heels once she was sure Rose could sit up on her own without support, “There’s the big sofa in the family room.  Or your room’s still there, sweetheart.  Haven’t changed a thing.  Knew you’d come back to me.”  Jackie hoped that neither of them could hear lie in that last bit.

“I think…my bedroom, yeah?” Rose sniffed, “I don’t - I can’t - with the staff hovering about, and…Tony’s not here is he?  You should talk to him before he sees me...”

“Don’t you worry about any of that.  I already sent the staff home for the day, and Tony’s still at school.  Can you make it to your room ok?”

“The Doctor’ll help me,” her daughter looked over at him and Jackie didn’t miss the love and trust in her gaze.  A look he returned, looking completely besotted.  

“Look at you two,” Jackie smiled, “Finally figured things out then, did ya?”

“Later mom,” Rose rolled her eyes, but the blush on her cheeks and the smile she was trying to hide told the story.

“Oh alright,” Jackie conceded.  For the moment, at least.  “Let’s head to your room then.”

But before Jackie got up to head back towards the house, she cupped Rose’s face.  “Oh sweetheart, I’m so happy you’re home.”

“Me too Mum,” Rose said, although Jackie didn’t miss how her eyes flicked towards the TARDIS when she said it.  Before Jackie could ruminate on that too much, she pushed herself up off the grass.

“Well let’s go then,” she beckoned.  The Doctor swept Rose up into his arms like she weighted nothing and Jackie led them both back towards the mansion.

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ february 2024

yes, i know, february has an extra day this year, but i'm posting this today bc i won't have time tomorrow lol

☆ STATISTICS.

projects worked on: The Gemini Heist

proudest accomplishment: i... wrote?... i guess??? *can't remember a single thing i did this month for some reason*

books read: Witch King by Martha Wells. i'm ngl, i was lost like 80% of the time, but that might just be a skill issue on my part (it's the kind of book that throws you into the thick of it without holding your hand and listening to the audiobook with the attention span that i have was... probably not the wisest idea lol)

(alhough funnily enough, it's while having this audiobook on in the background that i came up with a lot of my plot thoughts for gemini heist LMAO. either that or while playing zelda.)

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

although i did get writing done this month, this update's gonna be short. i don't really have much to say lol

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0.5)

it's very weird to not be using word count to track my progress anymore. freeing, but weird. i have no concept of how much i've actually done for this wip this month.

i do know i've figured out a bit more stuff about the heist and the lore. i had a big plot brainstorming session and untangled a few scenes. while i know what direction i want the story to head, i still don't know how any of this gets resolved, tho.

and i wrote out a few important scenes. that's progress, right?

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

i've been writing so chaotically out of order based on whatever scene i feel most inspired for in the moment that i,,, honestly can't remember what i've written this month vs what i had already written before 🥲 here's a scene that i THINK i wrote in february. Leo and Illiana might be my new favourite dynamic. (for context, Illiana is posing as her identical twin at a party, and Leo is posing as a guest. they came in separately.)

With the bodyguards tailing her the entire way, Illiana slowly made her way towards [Leo]. She tolerated a few brief exchanges with other guests she crossed paths with to appear natural, then, once she was close enough, she slipped the extra comm out of the pocket concealed in her skirt. She made a show of bending down to pick up something, then strode towards Leo. “Excuse me,” she said as she approached. “I believe you dropped your earring.” Leo turned to her, smile strained underneath her veil. “Oh, thank you,” she said, holding out her hand. Illiana placed the comm into her palm, taking care to hide it from the guards. As Leo angled her head away to slip it into her ear, she added, “I must say, your Holiness, this is quite a lovely party.” “Why, thank you, Miss…” She faltered, realizing she didn’t know Leo’s alias. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe I’m familiar with you.” “I’m a business leader from Tharekkan,” Leo said, pressing her palms together and giving Illiana a slight bow with her head. “It’s an honour to be here.” Illiana was surprised that Leo, with all her meticulous planning, didn’t have a fake name ready, and now she was curious. “How may I address you?” Leo’s already tense smile tightened even more. “‘Miss’ is fine,” she replied, practically through clenched teeth.  “No, I meant, your na—” “I’ve been told much about how lovely Fiolsby is, right before the winter,” Leo cut off, an unnatural segue back to the script they had practiced. “But I haven’t had the time to properly see the city.” Now Illiana just had to pry Leo's fake name out of her. “Really? That’s a shame. You know, the gardens offer a wonderful view of the city. Would you like to see, Miss…?” She let her sentence trail off, watching Leo expectantly. “If it’s not too much trouble, I would love that,” Leo replied, to Illiana’s annoyance.

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre @subtlefires

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @onomatopiya @outpost51 @planets-and-prose

[aluminescent]

Illuminate Book 2 Status + Fic Recs

Hi All! I know it's been pretty quiet on my end, and we're getting to the end of 2023 to soon traverse into 2024. That begs the question: Where are does Part 2 of Illuminate stand?

Well to reassure you, this is a positive post to say that there is definitely a continuation in the works. I'm more desirous than ever to post book two (title still undecided!), and every time I'm listening to a podcast or podfic/fic via TTS, these give me more ideas and continue to spur me on.

Alas, the spirit is eager, but the flesh . . . you know the rest. I have a heavily fleshed-out outline that—despite its heftiness—still needs a lot of cleaning, and I'm currently in the works of writing some scenes out. There's clear direction of pivotal events that occur in this next book—but with some significant gaps that still need filling.

However.

Between owning my own business and also having additional employment (because times are tough!), and also having had a daunting/exceedingly busy summer filled with multiple personal issues, my timeline has been pushed back significantly. I also severely underestimated how much time I'd need to write this second installment, thinking it'd be easier than the first time around since I had more background material to build upon. How foolish of me to think that; Book 1 took me—no lie—more than a decade to outline/re-plot/re-outline and write—on and off—as the show series progressed and I was given more and more canon material to work with, although the bulk of it was written in 2020/2021.

While I'm not saying that you guys won't see me for another 10 years, I am saying that more time will be needed for me to finish writing this next installment and then cleaning it up (hopefully more neatly than the first book so that there aren't massive gaps between updates). I honestly don't anticipate this taking more than another year and some months to write and spruce up. Hopefully.

I'll definitely keep you all posted on progress, and I know that I still owe some fic recs! As I type, I'm actively downloading/organizing my faves in a Google Drive folder and trying to select the crème de la crème of these for you all, but it's a huge undertaking (much like everything these days, it seems).

Also, I have a new CM fic in the works that I might need to get out of my system in the meantime, or that I might write up after the Illuminate series is done. Preferably in between so that my sanity is kept in tact. It will definitely have all the warnings needed, and I'm still debating if it'll be a complete DD:DNE or if I'll have some 'healing' or an open-ended 'bright horizon' thrown in the end. Debating on if its limited third person POV scene or if I take a stab at omniscient POV.

I hope that I can update you soon on progress, with recs, or other tidbits, but thank you for now!

[raayllum]

yeah my bad, honestly forgot that he was half asian (I have not interacted w the show or fandom in a while, so thats on me tbh), but I definitely agree with your input. I know that Callum is the main character, so he’s going to get more love and attention, same as Rayla, especially since Rayllum is the main couple (not dissing on them or the ship ofc) but it really upsets me when I look for art/fics of Ezran he’s either A) with Callum or B) in the background of something Rayllum related and in fics i rarely ever see solo fics of just him, he’s either in the background of rayllum or being their therapist or something like that

TDP has done a good job when it comes to portraying their characters of color, and its nice to see POC in positions of power for once (Harrow, Ez, Janai, Anaya, Kasef, etc), I just wish that the fandom as a whole would do the same thing yknow?

I’ll get out of your askbox for now, but this was definitely something that was weighing on me for a while lol

Omg you're all good! That's actually why I've run two Ezran Appreciation Weeks (although I still need to finish my fics for the second one, but life got unexpectedly super busy) and why I use the tag Ezran centric for fics that well, focus primarily on him and his relationships, rather than him being in a supportive or background role. I still wanna write a fic about him and Janai (maybe I can work it into a speculative S5 piece, since it seems like maybe we'll get to see them on screen together, and they had a Lot of parallels in S4).

But yeah there are definitely people in the fandom who aren't open to critique in how they treat Ezran. I once pointed out that hey, most of the time when his character is incorrectly tagged in a post, it's almost always in relation to his brother. Did not go over well, but I don't really care. It was still worth saying (and hopefully people will think a bit more thoughtfully about it too).

We could definitely all do more; I do my best to put dents in it when I can, but with varying degrees of success I'm sure

List of Ezran focused fics for anyone who wants em! (to the dashboard, i know i've missed some, so please feel free to add 'em)

Ezran appreciation week day 1: animals

3 shot collection on AO3

Ezran dealing with possessed Callum (post s4)

Opeli & Ezran drabble 1

Ezran & Rayla oneshot

Opeli & Ezran oneshot + future oneshots

Chessmaster Ezran oneshot

i hope i wake up young again: Soren is the “best crownguard,” ten years in the making. Ezran&Soren, 3.7k

if i am the king: then you have to let me go.“ Ezran and Corvus make their way back to Katolis, times three. 3.2k

ezran contemplates viren’s death

ezran and ethari’s first meeting (pre s4)

will not be denied: Per the monarchs of old, King Ezran is visited by Lady Justice in a dream. 1.5k, Ezran centric

can my eyes rest: otherwise known as how many autistic Ezran headcanons can I fit into one ficlet

Other relevant tags perhaps: autistic!Ezran, let Ezran be messy, chessmaster ezran, ezran's council, ezris (for ezran/ellis) and ezran x aanya, ezranedit

Upcoming Ezran projects:

Canon divergent Ezran & Kasef focused oneshot

why is it a monster: Ezran finds Aaravos' mirror first.

Ezran oneshots/drabbles about missing Rayla during the timeskip; feelings about his mother's death; bonding with Ibis in 3x09; etc.

Aforementioned Janai&Ezran parallels piece

great responsibility: Modern AU. Ezran gets bit by a radioactive spider. feat. Rayla as his boxing trainer and Callum as an overprotective big brother while he becomes the superhero he's destined to be

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

05.09.24 - I am back at work after taking two days to travel for a concert. Frankly, I wish I was back home in bed being lazy rather than here. I suppose I always have time I can take, plus I only have two full weeks of work before a paid holiday.

Work - I mean...I have to clean out my inbox for sure. I remember something from my supervisor about needing to get a hotel and flight for a couple of my lawyers to attend a CLE, and I see a bunch of emails regarding that, so that's probably going to be the main thing I tackle today. I'm sure there are some efiles in there as well but I don't expect it to be very busy.

Background Noise - I'm back to binging YT, and will be doing a lot more of that while my dad is gone visiting his sister. I wanted to bring my earbuds on my car trip; the hope was that somewhere on the 4 hr round trip drive I could get through a nearly 2 hr podcast on SSSniperWolf's bad behavior but I forgot them and so I'm catching up now.

That is not to say that I didn't watch any YT; I did eight videos over the two days, and I kept up on my news program even while my hunny started Hades II to distract me.

Study - Well it's Thursday, so I suppose I should attempt to read some of the actual books I started and not just articles. I'm still counting pages instead of chapters though.

Last time I studied was on Monday, and I read like four random articles/press releases, four Horizon Post Office scandal articles, three pages of HR 5376, and the whole Wiki page for Adamson v. California. I continued to read the other couple of decisions & complaints I started, and I got more pages in, but I haven't finished them yet.

Extras - It is Thursday, so I do need to make sure the trash goes out to the curb; I kept up on the weekly chores so I don't have extras, but I do need to go grocery shopping because the last time I did it only took me to the day before the trip. Thankfully, I can do more microwave kinds of meals while dad's gone to give myself a break; it'll probably be one of the handmade pizzas my local grocer does for tonight. Two more episodes of Carranger; we did do three yesterday and have a total of five left so I bet I can finish the series on Friday. We're also about halfway through the first episode of The Tick, but also probably won't watch more because I'll want hunny to continue playing Hades II. Mini-essay was done quick today; I'm working on another longer one to post and hope I can write a lot when remote working tomorrow.

I'm going to finish my post today by sharing some of the pics/videos from the TWRP concert.

[she-daemon]

Office worker AU - Nero x Fem Reader - Chapter 2

Previous chapter here

Summary:

Nero answers the phone, they go on a date, yeah End of this chapter gets spicy

Notes:

Okay okay so I haven't written anything in months (sorry for not posting in like 3 months) but I'm finally back!!! Since its been a while my writing should hopefully be a little better, or at least the smut should be (I have done a lot of uhh *research* lately)

Slight nsfw at the end!! You have been warned!!

After briefly listening to the dial tone, you heard someone pick up.

"Office of Nero Sparda, state your business please..." Its a woman's voice. You're disappointed it wasn't Nero, but its normal for someone like him to have a secretary.

"Hello, this is Y/N of _____ corporation, I was hoping to schedule a progress report meeting with Mr. Sparda ... possibly tomorrow?" Good, you said everything correctly.

"Just a moment please..." You heard her receiver brush against something, and you assumed she was checking Nero's schedule. Hmm. Nero's secretary. Jealous thoughts started to intrude into your mind. You waved them away, but the thought of being his secretary instead of her persisted. Imagine being so close to him ... being in his company all day ... all the things the two of you could get away with. Your thoughts were interrupted by her:

"Sorry, but it seems Mr. Sparda will be busy all day tomorrow. In fact, he doesn't have any available time slots for the rest of the - " Something interrupted her, and she got off the phone again. Was he busy for the rest of the month? Week? You listened closely. Suddenly, you heard a man's voice in the background:

"Who is it?" You heard her say your name, and then shuffling on the other end. Someone spoke.

"Hello? Is this Y/N?" It was Nero. Just hearing his voice talking to you made your heart leap.

"Yes, its me. Your secretary said you'd be busy, so I was wondering when we could arrange a meeting to discuss the progress report?" You knew it was far too early for Nero's team to have made any real progress on the project. Hopefully, he'd get the message.

"Well, I am busy the entire day tomorrow. But maybe I could take overtime and meet you for dinner. How's that sound?"

"Wonderful. I'll see you at Dorsia's." you gleefully replied, "Do you think you could manage 6?"

"Hmm, maybe 7?"

"Oh, okay, sure. I'm free the whole evening to be honest. The whole weekend, even." You cringed a little from how desperate you sounded, but you swore you could hear Nero's lips curl into a smile at those words.

"Guess I'll have to take a look at my plans and maybe take you up on that offer." Thank god he took that with a stride. And after a brief silence, he said:

"See ya then." And hung up. You processed that call, thinking over your brief interaction with him. If you weren't feeling all these stupid, fluffy emotions, you would've been worried about flirting over the work phone, and eavesdroppers. But Nero had you dumbly smitten with him and you were just paranoid anyway - right?.

It was still around midday, so you couldn't get off work just yet. Your mind drifted back to the secretary fantasy. You knew it was impossible to be his secretary because you were busy working for your father. And that was just temporary, until you took over the company anyway. And Nero's company was just an affiliate, you couldn't be transferred even if you wanted to. But still, damn if that wasn't a hot fantasy.

*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ The next day around 7 *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~

Wearing your nicest (and possibly most alluring) clothes, you entered the familiar high end restaurant. You've been here before for past meetings, but this day was special. 

Looking around, you're almost afraid you won't find Nero. But there he is, dressed in a nicer suit than the one he wears for work, a dark shade of navy, almost black, and a matching light greyish-blue tie. You meet eyes with him and he waves to you, signaling you to join him at a booth.

"Hey, glad to see you here, I just got off work." Nero looks so happy to see you, it fills your heart with joy. You make sure to greet him and let him know you feel the same. You talk about the "progress" of the project for about a solid five minutes until the waiter showed up to take your orders. For yourself, you decided to play it safe and order a Caesar salad with a medium rare steak. Simple, yes, but hopefully still dignified. You didn't have to worry about that for long, because Nero ordered pasta - plain spaghetti and meatballs - and you nearly choked on your water. As if it would save face, the both of you decided to share a bottle of wine, courtesy of Nero (but you were definitely going to pursue Nero for his food choices later).

The two of you were illuminated by the warm yellow lighting of the restaurant. You took a sip of your wine and leaned in toward Nero.

"So, Nero, I saw  you have the same last name as the CEO of your company - Vergil Sparda. Are the two of you related? His nephew maybe?" Nero gave you a questioning look, before responding.

"Ah, you caught me. Vergil's my dad." He surveyed your face for a reaction, and he saw your eyes widen as you connected the dots. The two of you were in the same position, your lives were essentially the same. Trying to build your own career in the shadow of your parents, shunned for who your family was. "Oh, that makes sense. Guess we're in the same spot then. Small world." You could barely contain your excitement, you had so much to talk to him about.

"Haha, as much as I hate it, nepotism really does rule the world." You wanted to know more about Nero - so you asked:

"So how has that affected you or your life? Or... what do you think of it?"

And the two of you fell into a deep conversation about your lives, your pasts, and relating to each other. You really did have a lot in common with Nero. His father had also brought him up to take over the company some day, he also hated his business classes for being too easy (he had graduated a year earlier), and most importantly, the both of you had felt the same loneliness and isolation as a result of being next in line. But now it was clear you had each other, whatever that might imply.

Finally, the waiter returned with the long awaited food. As promised, he handed you a beautifully plated salad beside a tender steak, with various garnishes and sides, and for Nero, a heap of saucy spaghetti and meatballs. They actually made it for him! It still shook you. As a businessman of his level, you never would have expected Nero to order simple pasta and meatballs. Sure, this is an Italian restaurant so it's a valid choice, but still. Not only that, but as he was eating, Nero got sauce all over his mouth, his chin, even a little on his cheeks. Honestly, it was the most adorable things you've ever seen. Besides puppies. But he was kind of a puppy too. Hearing you giggle, Nero stops just as he was scooping another round of pasta and looks up at you.

"What?" he asked cluelessly. 

You didn't say anything, just looked at him, smirking, amused. But he really had no idea.

"C'mon, seriously." Now he was grinning too. It was infectious.

"... you have pasta sauce all over your face." And for a moment he froze, genuinely surprised.  Laughing, you reached for a napkin and wiped the corners of his mouth, like a little kid. It was too much for your heart.  Doing this you froze, with your eyes locked on Nero's, noticing how much you had leaned toward him, how close you were. Nero's cheeks burned a little red, and he averted your gaze. You quickly moved your hand away and blurted out: "Oh! S-sorry about that, I don't know why I did that. It just seemed natural."

"No, no its fine, that one's on me." But there was still an uncomfortable, bashful, silence. "Is there a story behind the spaghetti and meatballs?" You interjected, cutting the silence short. It was almost like you flipped a switch, because Nero's face lit up enthusiastically and he began to explain how it was his favorite food, how he'd been eating it since childhood, how Kyrie used to cook it for him... Wait, Kyrie? *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ A few hours later *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~

The two of you decided to head to a bar, after the restaurant nearly kicked you out for sitting there so long.

Nero was a bit of a lightweight, you had noticed, and you could see he definitely had his share of alcohol for the night. So did you.  "I think we've both had enough for tonight. " "Mmmyeah." Nero slurred. Unlike you, it seemed like he had a nice buzz going. Lucky him, because you only felt woozy. The two of you hailed a taxi, and it quickly became clear that you were going to end up escorting Nero to his home. The two of you entered the taxi cab, and as Nero barely managed to tell his address to the driver, you worried that this whole thing was too forward, but it was too late to turn back. That, and Nero was glued to you.

"Aww, you were gone for so long~" Nero crooned into your neck, half tipsy, half asleep. "I missed you~..." The warm breath tickled your neck, and you had to suppress a little squeak from escaping your lips when you felt his mouth just barely graze your skin. That was new, and it was nice.

You kept looking at his chest, his tie coming more and more undone with every drunken sway of his, seemingly shifting with the movements of the car. It was so ... distracting. The looseness of his suit exposed his chest, and when you tried to straighten his collar, Nero pulled you in for a hug. Nero gets clingy under the influence - noted. And it was getting to you. You could feel Nero's warm, shapely body, and the sleek fabric that outfitted and outlined it in the most delicious way. Not to mention you hadn't been hugged in years. Damn if it didn't feel good - almost too good, a blush spread to your face and you couldn't think of anything to say. Not that you needed to, since Nero occupied himself with saying strings of gibberish that faintly sounded like praise. You could only pick up words like "nice" and "warm" in his purring, until you felt Nero's weight shift onto you. He had fallen asleep. He left you there, frying your brain for the rest of the ride until the cab pulled up to a large apartment complex. You woke Nero up, much to his dissatisfaction, and paid the driver. You led Nero out of the car and into the complex, sternly holding him by the arm to support him. After a few steps though, he was flush against you, and it was almost like he was enjoying this - not that you secretly were too. Maybe his whole "tipsy" thing was just an act.

Walking him to the elevator, it seemed like Nero had sobered up a little from the fresh air, recognizing his surroundings and selecting his floor once the two of you were inside the elevator. 

 "You doing all right there Nero?"  "Hmmm...?" He blinked sleepily, not as buzzed as before - just tired.

He unlocked the door with his key, given a few clumsy tries as he worked his way through the wooziness. You stifled a giggle, and Nero murmured as he opened the door:  "What's so funnyyyy...?"  "You're such a lightweight, Nero." Hearing this, Nero scrunched up his face and swiftly turned away his head, pouting.   "No I'm not."  "Admit it, you were almost wasted after two glasses." You smirked, satisfied from drawing such a reaction from him. You wanted to poke at him a little more, but push far enough and you might find boundaries.   "I. Am not. A lightweight." He huffed, eyebrows furrowed, and it seemed like he was a little hurt. Did you hit a nerve? Okay, despite how cute he was, now you felt bad. You walked up to him, and cupped his pouty face with your hands.  "Okay, okay. You're not a lightweight Nero." You tilted his face so his eyes would meet yours, and you squished his cheeks a little.  "Better?" Just as you were about to pull away, Nero grabbed you by your shoulders, and leaned forward to kiss you on the lips. Shocked at first, you received the kiss, pulling on his lower lip and biting gently. You wondered if you should be doing this at all, but Nero let out a sigh and continued to kiss you - and it felt so good, so right. Nero pulled you close, and you felt your body grow heated, bothered from his hand gripping tightly at your waist. Eventually though, you both pulled away for air. Nero smugly showed you a shit eating grin, his lips a slight pink - thoroughly kissed.   "Now that's better."   "Oh yeah?" You tilted your head. "Are you gonna forgive me for being a bully?" You leaned your face toward him, gazing into his eyes. With a dark look in your eyes, you continued: "And there's really nothing else I have do to make you feel better?" You could see calculations running in Nero's head, and he suddenly picked you up in a princess carry. He took you into the bedroom and the next thing you knew he had put you down on a soft bed. You were sad you weren't in his arms anymore, but only for a moment because he leaned down to kiss you again, one hand sifting through your hair, the other squeezing your hip.  "I think you already know-" He said as he brought his knee to the apex of your thighs, suggestively brushing it, " -what you have to do to make me forgive you." His eyes looked back up toward your face for a reaction, and you noticed his erection pressing against your inner thigh.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

There it is! I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as I can, and the promised smut will be in it ➳➳➳➳ I only managed to proofread once or twice at 1 am so sorry about grammar and inconsistent spacing, yeah

View this chapter on ao3

[kenthenugget]

How Batching Comics Saved My Life

Jesus its been...quite a while since I last posted onto any of my tumblr accounts. Its not that I didn't forget that I had an account here, its just that I've been busy with school and my drawing Crescent Blue. Meaning any free time I have is limited which results in me neglecting like half of my socials. Comics and college has made doing social media difficult. That and I wasn't sure how to handle 2 out of the 3 tumblr blogs I have. But I've thought that I had use this specific blog for text blog posts, along with drawings I'm working on and stuff like that. Most of it will be a lot of writing type stuff like this so this should be fun. Anyways, onto the topic I wanted to talk about.

I've been drawing Crescent Blue for coming on 4 years now. And those 4 years were spent drawing its first Chapter. Its overly long chapter. I have realized the mistake I made back when I was prepping to draw it back in 2019, where 16 year old me who had never drawn a comic at this scale decided to go out adapting the opening chapter draft which was written to be the length of a double length tv show pilot (because that's how wrote scripts back in the day) without realizing the implications of how many pages I would have to draw, and that maybe I should've done more prep work to make sure I wouldn't be working on it well into college. Because I probably would've gotten burnt out with it after being stuck on it for so long. And that would end up happening when 2021 rolled around. Thanks to mental health struggles I faced through out 2020, which lowered my tolerance to drawing comics which I didn't enjoy, I had drawn a total of 28 pages by going into the new year. Feeling ashamed of that pace, I managed to motivate myself and make it a new years goal to devote more time to my comic and get faster in order to complete my first chapter. This manifested in a couple of ways, from illustrating backgrounds in graphite as to avoid inking them and potentially screwing them up, to manning up and move to drawing it digitally as opposed to traditionally (I did not have access to photoshop or a good drawing tablet when I had started so I did what I had always done and use paper, pencils and inking pens/brushes. However, I would get my XP Pen Artist 12 for my 17th birthday 2 months later, and I would be able to use photoshop at home by early 2020). But what I mostly did was focus on drawing pages more, moving onto the next one after finishing the last one without taking a break. Basically muscling my way through with the expectation that I would eventually get faster. This did not work, and here's why.

This one by one approach isnt bad on paper, and there are plenty of artists out there that drawing comics this way and don't have any issues. For me, the issue I found with this process was that it didnt lend itself very well to spend. Not all pages are created equal, taking longer or shorter to complete depending on the complexity of the drawing. In my experience, there were pages that took only a couple of hours to complete, and others that took days to get done, and this isn't factoring in stuff like school. This aspect brings up the problem with me muscling through pages. There are times where I dont want to work on my comic, and often times after I would finish a page, I wouldn't have enough motivation to get to the next one. But in my attempt to not spend years drawing my first chapter, I would force myself to draw pages even when I didn't want to. This results in numerous cases of burnout and art block, which can cripple you and slow you down, defeating the point of muscling through it all. One notable instance of this I can remember happened in February last year.

By July of 2022, I would've been drawing Chapter 1 for 3 years and as my new years resolution, I wanted to get it done by that time. I had made great progress in 2021, catching up to page 75 by the time of new years, and I felt confident in my ability to get it done that year. That hope was shattered when I did what I had done with one of my pages and complete a future page ahead of time. Said page was the last post I made on this blog which I've actually completed a few weeks ago. The numbering for that page is 148 (was probably lower last year as I did end up adding pages during that time thanks to rewrites). And at that time, I had just passed the 80th page mark. It was then that I realized the implications of what I needed to do in order to get Chapter 1 done that year. I would've had to draw more than double the amount of pages I had drawn in 2021, and given the way I was drawing comic pages at the time, I knew deep down that wouldn't be possible. But not wanting to admit it, I tried muscling through the pages I was working on, hoping that if I pushed myself beyond my limit I would miraculously become faster and more efficient. But that didn't happen. The stress caused by my realization and the refusal to accept it caused me to become more and more agitated, which caused me to make errors and not draw as well as I would've wanted. Said agitation also clouded my thoughts and made drawing more and more difficult as soon as I knew it. I had burned myself out.

I think I've done a good job at laying out why this method didn't work for me, and if I was still drawing comics this way, I would not be finishing my first Chapter this year. And at this point, I would like to take a moment to shout out @the-underground-beauty. If it hadn't been for her, I not have found out about batching and I wouldn't have been even close to ending this long ass chapter. I was in a discord call with them and other art friends I knew, and I talking about ways of becoming faster at completing pages. They explained that they batched multiple pages instead of drawing them one by one like I had. Like, you would do the layouts for one page, then you would do the layouts for the next page, same goes for sketching and inking. This makes it so that instead of dumping all of your energy into one page, you're spreading that work into multiple pages and thus, become more efficient. Now you might be wondering how this would be better than my old method. Wouldn't working on multiple pages at the same time instead of going one by one be worse? In my experience, it's the complete opposite.

Along with the upsides I've mentioned above, its also very flexible in regards to inking/coloring. In the past, I found myself getting board with pages and wanting to move onto the next one but couldn't because I had to finish the one I was working on. I don't need to worry about that with batching. I can go in chronological order or skip pages to come back to them latter. This can be very handy when it comes to complex pages that would take a lot of time to complete. If Im not feeling up for it at that moment, I can just skip that one and come back later once I feel ready. It also points out the most time consuming part of drawing comics, sketching. Inking is one thing, but when you're doing a lot more work when doing the sketches. And depending on what the storyboards call for, the sketching process for a given page can take a pretty long time and a lot of energy. But with the batching process, the energy I would've spent finishing said page with inking and shading/coloring can be better spent on other pages. This means that I would need to worry a whole lot when inking as most of the hard work was done prior.

Batching also helps with putting what you're working on into perspective. Throughout most of my time drawing my comic, I found it difficult to view the pages I'm working on as being apart of a much larger story, rather than on a page by page basis. I would spend so much time on them that I would view the page I was working on as being its own separate thing, unrelated to the pages that came before or after. Batching, in a way, solved this issue, because now that Im working on a part all at once instead of going page by page, it helped me view what I'm working on as being pieces of a story, rather than being their own thing. I felt that the pages I was batching had more unity to them than the ones before it. Its difficult for me to describe this feelings, because I would always get it when finishing a part and rereading it. Pages that would take weeks to complete took more a couple of minutes to read, despite the specific pages taking so much time to finish. I haven't had that feeling after adopting batching as my new method of drawing comics, since every page all at once.

But how has it worked in practice? Well to see if batching was effective or not, I decided to batch the remaining six pages of what would by episode 7 on CB's tapas page. I got those done in a week. And 2 months later in May, I began work on pages 95 through 105 and this was the true test to to see if batching could really be effective for an entire part. I got it done with in a month. The after that wasn't as successful, but I mostly contribute it to external factors that had nothing to do with batching. At the start of this year, I decided to ditch the part by part method and go at the remaining 67 pages of Chapter 1 all at once. At the time of writing this, I'm still not finished with this Chapter yet but I don't expect it to be for quite long. I anticipate on wrapping it all up around June of this year. So with all this being said, I think I can conclude that batching comics has been way more effective in terms of speed. Over a 100 pages over the course of one year, way more than I had in the past with the old method. If I hadn't switched up the way I had been drawing comics back in March of last year, I don't think I would've come this far! Now I am aware that batching might not work for other artists, and that's fine. But if you are in a place like I was and want to get pages done quicker, I suggest giving it a try and see if it works for you or not :)

[feline-evil]

Its da freaking new year baby

I mean it turned new year like 13 hours and thirty minutes ago for me i was just busy and didn't post here at the time. Anyways.

2023 has been A Lot for me! On one hand my wrist issues finally fully caught up to me and it's one of the first years i've not been able to draw as much during which has been. Very hard. It's been a year of health issues and my body kinda failing me in a lotta regards so it's not been great on that front. But it's also the first year i got to meet my boyfriend in person, twice!!! And realise how much more beautiful and kind and loving life can be, and how much i wanna survive onwards and upwards and do wicked gay shit with that man in future years, it's the year that being so loved has given me the courage to make BIG FUCKING RISKS and plan for BIG FUCKING CHALLENGES in upcoming years, and thats awesome. I couldn't be the man i have been this year without him, i really couldn't. I'm so grateful to finally have a partner and friends and love and gentleness, it is something that was so sorely missing in my life and it is something that's keeping me going even in the darker months.

It's also the year i took risks in other stuff too, which i never could've done without my bf's support, and now i've been able to work on so many things for The Hotel Podcast and thats fucking AWESOME?? I GET TO MAKE STUFF FOR THE SHOW I LOVE?? I did the artbook and we got to do the second calendar which ruuuuled, i made a postcard, i've done some other stuff ;), i made a 3d background and learnt some video editing for it; i've accomplished so much even against my body and wrist failing and i feel so so proud of that, and no matter how things go i wanna keep trying to do more. I feel like i'm finally showing what i can do. I hope people can see how much effort and will goes into what i do, i hope it pays off and that you enjoy it!

I wish i could say i left this year on a high note due to all that good that's happened to me and i mostly am absolutely. But in all honesty i also went to sleep last night filled with a palpable dread, this past week i realised someone close to me has, without getting into it to a degree i'm not willing to share online, gone down a pipeline to become a person i'm not comfortable with while i've been busy elsewhere. I went to bed knowing that either 2024 would have to be a year of potentially risky confrontation, of running, or of begrudgingly resigning myself to making sure i isolate anyone i care about away from. This. So thats a shadow hanging over me at the moment, and is one that has soured my week a little. I don't know what 2024 holds in regards to sorting this, it's a little scary.

I am going to be 27 this year, in February! And as i get closer and closer to thirty i realise that (while time isn't running out for me, for any of us) i really would like to move on into thriving rather than just surviving the years, and that part of that thriving needs to be transitioning and becoming independent from my parents. Of course the former is complicated due to the fact i am not able to be out to everyone in my life and even just starting the path to transitioning would out me and potentially destroy a part of my life that has been there for 26 years. There's also of course the fact i live in the uk and transitioning here is going to be a ten year waiting list if i'm even lucky and they deem me trans enough to transition l o l. So as you can imagine, thats complex and hard to figure out! On one hand i should start the process asap BECAUSE its such a long process here, but on the other hand i don't know how to handle my own safety and comfort in regards to being out to those i currently am not, and i'm not sure how my mental (and honestly physical) health would handle the fallout. The latter is complicated of course due to being broke, uneducated, physically and mentally unwell and a myriad of other factors; we don't live in a world where you can afford a home or to feed yourself anymore! So! Yknow!! Unlikely i'll be moving out anytime soon!

What i am doing at least is trying to thrive where i can, like dandelions growing in cracks the pavement may be unyielding to me at this moment but i can find the soft dirt inbetween; transitioning and independence may not be possible right now but i can continue to do my work and try to succeed there, i can make my room better for me (which i have done with finally getting a new bed after the one i had since i was a child grew no good), i can spend more time doing what i love out the house (visiting places, seeing my boyfriend, ect ect), and i can take what i can when i can. Maybe i'll try to learn to drive this year! I'm not sure i trust myself on the roads, but maybe i can learn to. And all of this is progress towards those final goals, even if i can't so much as step on the first rungs of the ladder towards them yet. I also take solace in knowing that for every dark cloud over me that makes my life feel so uncertain and hard to make it through there is incredible sunshine too; that even if the year is hard and cruel as they so often are i will still be loved i will still have friends and i will still get to smile. And that even if i can't accomplish big goals, a lot of small goals accomplished over many many bad years will build up, and one day i'll be free. And that's something.

My first hope for 2024 is THAT MY HEALTH GIVES ME A BREAK, NO MORE HEALTH SCARES PLEASE, and that perhaps i'll be able to even get some answer's and help for my physical health. My second is that my courage pays off and i succeed at flying alone for the first time to the states to be with my love! My third is that the year is kinder, and that i can make more art, maybe even regain some of the independence i had when my wrist was ok enough to let me do art as a job. My fourth is that i laugh a lot, and smile and have joyous moments with loved ones and indulge in what i love with unabashed and unashamed joy! And my fifth is that i get to do good for others, because even if i can't get out, even if i have to survive instead of thrive a little longer, i can at least try and help when i can.

Happy 2024, my chest hurts, my joints ache, but i'm still kicking and i will continue on forever. Bastards aren't getting free of me yet, i'm persistent. I haven't even ridden every rollercoaster in the UK yet.

[acridcandy]

* ❥ ⎯⎯ hi there, my name is selene ( she / her, 21+ ) and today i'm bringing you your queen s, na aera! she's 25, a business administration student at snu and fashion and lifestyle influencer, part of the s 'n u subplot trinity, and is currently headed on the path to self-destruction now that gossip girl has put a target on her back. fun! i have her dossier ready which has a profile and background on her, but i'll put the tl;dr version that was on her application down below, along with some plots that i can think of! please like this post to plot and i'll head your way, or you can add me on disc @ paraselene woman#8196 which is currently preferred more than tumblr ims. thank you for your time and i'm excited to play out some mess with you all! ♡

⏤ sparknotes bio ;

saw na aera in seoul. they were playing tennis. i think they’re an student and influencer now? a lot of people say they’re kinda deceptive but they seemed super charming to me, tbh. they really look like cho miyeon and remind me of park gulmi though wtf. thought you might want to know because i remember your post about them that said she blackmailed a professor who had an affair with a student. still can’t believe that happened 1 month ago.

oh, how the mighty fall. while aera's life hasn't always been cozy, especially with an egoistic mother, she always had her father to depend on and alleviate her pain. born with beautiful looks and pleasant singing tone to boot, she was scouted on the streets of seoul as a young tween and trained under the top entertainment industry in hopes of becoming an idol. while not making the opportunity of debuting in their next girl group, she left the company after 4 years only with a growing number of followers on her social media due to the rumors, and popularity that spilled from online into real life. this is where she cultivates her sweet persona, one that drastically differs from her actual personality that she keeps under tight wraps. after taking a couple of years off from university once her mother passes away after aera turns 21, it's only a few years later that she finds herself becoming one of seoul national's most well known current students, and well beloved. it feels like she doesn't get enough time to savor her status before life falls to collapse. she finds out that one of her friends is actually her step-sister by way of her father, and then gossip girl marking her return by spotlighting herself and her friends, which internally shakes her to her core ⏤ especially since she was able to evade her watchful eyes prior to her disappearance. after the post about the tumultuous relationship between her, her sister and prince charming goes viral she chooses to power through the fretfulness, pretending as if it were nothing even though others start to look at her at a different light. the cracks in her armor fully show once gossip girl ups the anti to expose her best kept secret about the professor, which brings her budding career to a screeching halt despite an attempt to still play the victim. aera has always adored attention, but with gossip girl wreaking havoc in her life she feels as if she's spiraling towards full destruction ⏤ she's lost her mother, feels like she lost her father, losing her sister and flame, and now an attempt on her career. however, aera would be damned to give up anything without a proper fight.

⏤ currently ;

the cracks in her formerly impenetrable armor are clearly showing now. usually hard to anger, she's prone to emotional outbursts every now and then and is a little less friendly to the general public, not knowing who she can trust anymore. but her motto is to ignore it as if it never happened, despite the fact that isn't working out so hot for her.

just got off her one month "reflection" period on social media that was mandated by her management company. her following has taken an obvious hit, and it probably would have done her better to reflect for a longer period, but

girl is escapist central right now. drugs, drinking, sex, any vice you name it ⏤ anything to get away from this hellhole for at least a couple of hours or so. queen of also making bad decisions for temporary satisfaction.

⏤ plots and ideas ;

looking for the monet de haan to her julian calloway ⏤ moreso in the sense that someone who is close to her and she doesn't have to pretend with, but also fuels her bad decision making. a tight but vicious team to anything that could potentially stand between their goals.

in the same vein: party friends who also enable her hedonist ways and she returns the favor, her favorite group rn

someone who she really valued that now looks at her differently since the gossip girl's posts and has acted accordingly. she'd do anything to get them back on her side

former victims of her vindictive nature: maybe people who have tried to steal her thrown or blackmail her, others who have also tried to get prince charming's attention, rivals, people who just came across her on a bad day, whatever!

a specific friends w benefits / fuck buddy type of relationship that she loves to hit up to release stress. maybe things are starting to get complicated between them?

even though her mother is out of the picture, her mother's family is not. maybe they're trying to find a suitor for her to continue the family bloodline and are trying to marry her away to someone? maybe she doesn't like this dude because of that?

someone that's worried about her and is trying to help her get her act together?

and ofc the usual of general friends, ex lovers, cousins, enemies, etc.

tbh i think i'm a lot better at brainstorming but thank you for reading this far if you did!

[squirrelpudding]

January 1st, 2024

I'll be honest all I did today was work on my silly little media edit and go to the movies with my mom. We saw Wonka, which was really good! Before seeing it I thought Timothee Chalamet would not be silly enough to play the character well, but turns out he is one goofy guy. My mom LOVES the original Charlie and the Chocolate factory, and she really like this movie as well. Every time I go to a movie theatre with my mom she talks about how when picking seats "everyone" (her) chooses the seats that are around other people because, in her words, "what do they know that I don't?". I laugh every time she says that. We went to a theater that was pretty far away because my mom got an AMC gift card from a family member, and the nearest AMC theater was like half an hour away. It was really odd because whenever there was a silent part of the movie or the silence between trailers you could hear the screen making noise. It was like purring (?) but not. Its weird to think it is 2024. The aforementioned "media edit" that I am working on is more like a letterboxd recap. Last year everyone was posting their "me core" edits and their media edits to like "American Teenager" by Ethel Cain. I loved seeing those, and I've seen a few this year but not as many. My edit is just movies I saw this year, but I'm putting a lot of effort into it. My computer cannot handle the ~95 movie clips that I have downloaded, but its fine. Putting my favorite pieces of media to my favorite songs is just so special, I love it so much. That's why I love edits [like on tiktok]! Because I love seeing Merlin and Arthur pine for each other while Boygenius plays in the background! Or seeing Greg and Rowley dance to "Ribs" by Lorde! Also today I watched "My Best Friend is a Vampire", which I only discovered existed because a few weeks ago I was watching "Dead Poets Society" edits on tiktok, and stumbled across an edit of that movie (see attached video). I don't know how the edit is such high quality considering that the movie is from the 80s and the website I watched it on had terrible quality. To be fair, I watched on DEFINETLY NOT a pirating site, so it was bound to have been a little crappy. I think my blogging is going well so far, in the two days/posts I've done, but I think it will start to go downhill when school starts again. I think I will get too busy/tired with school and work that I will only blog like once or twice a week. I hope I keep posting consistently. I have always wanted to keep a diary, and have tried several times, but I always forget to write or I get tired of it and it becomes a chore. But with my twitter "picture of the day" threads I do, I have been very consistent, which is good! I don't know how to end this post.