#posting on mobile so if this is fucked up it’s not my fault ❤️

[yeenybeanies]

Giant Cowboy Murder Mystery: Chapter 2 (PREVIEW)

5 months ago i posted the first chapter :’) who knows if it’s gonna be another 5 months before i post the next ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyway! the whole chapter is up on my patreon, & will be posted here in a few weeks.

3,889 words

warnings: language, & mild mentions of nudity

thanks for reading!!

patreon ✨ ko-fi

The sleep was not restful, but it was the first semi-decent stretch of shut-eye that she’d had in at least two days. She was warm, swaddled in a scratchy cloth, lying atop a hard surface. It was nothing like her bed at home, but it was a bed. At least, she assumed it was a bed. Wakefulness was slow to come. Her head felt full of fog, and her body was heavy. Groggy limbs stretched in time with a groan. She’d had the worst nightmare…

Giant man.

She bolted upright, as if struck by lightning, suddenly very awake. It wasn’t a nightmare. No––she’d been running through a forest. The soreness and the abrasions that ravaged her body were proof enough that the past couple of days had been real. She’d been running through a forest… she’d been chased by the biggest bear she’d ever seen… and there was a giant horse-thing. And a giant man. As memories flooded back, her heart started to pound; her breath became shallower, quicker.

The room around her was huge. It only further proved that what she’d seen last night was more than a figment of her imagination. Everything around her looked like normal furniture in every way, save for the fact that it was all massive. What she now realized was a giant-sized bed was pushed into a corner. Directly to the right of it was a nightstand and an oil lamp. Against the opposite wall stood a wardrobe about as tall as a house, and there was a door just next to it. A few sparsely-decorated shelves lined the walls. There was an old rug on the floor. Most striking, though, was the mounted body of a ferocious-looking beast that the woman could not identify, hung just above the door. It looked like some sort of reptile, armed with claws, teeth, spines, and a whip-like tail.

Sitting on the giant bed, the woman couldn’t help but imagine that this is what it felt like to be a toy doll. Her anxiety did not appreciate it.

Voices reached her ears, spoken as whispers, but still plenty loud. They came from just beyond the door. It was ajar, though not enough for the woman to get a good look through from her vantage point.

“…can’t stay here.” That voice sounded familiar.

“Love.” That one didn’t.

“She’ll… I dunno, get stepped on.”

“Love.”

“Slayne.”

“What’s her name?”

“Dunno. She wouldn’t talk before she passed out.”

It felt weird, uncomfortable to be spoken about. The woman grimaced, hands rubbing her shoulders. Her fingers brushed over the bare skin, reminding her that she was still very naked. She lifted the heavy, scratchy blanket to pull it up, but paused when she spotted something underneath. Pooled in her lap was the handkerchief––the one that the giant man had dropped onto her. He’d spoken to her, too, right? Of course––that’s was his voice in the other room. But she couldn’t recall what he’d said. All she could really remember before she’d fallen unconscious were his piercing silver eyes, and his overwhelming presence.

“Er… ma’am?”

The woman yelped and pulled the handkerchief to cover her chest. She looked up to see a giant man––a different one than last night. This one had bushy, bright red hair. For a moment, she thought he had a beard, but she realized that it was a scarf covering the lower half of his face, almost identical in color to his hair. He stood in the doorway awkwardly, a tray in his hands. His head was turned, eyes downcast, pointedly looking away from her.

“Um… pardon, ma’am. I should have––I mean, I thought you were still––er…” He bumbled and tripped over his words, and the woman just stared, clutching the handkerchief to her chest. “Here. I brought you… something to eat. I tried to cut the pieces small for you.”

The second his boot left the floorboards for that first step towards her, the woman screamed. She scrambled out from under the blanket, still clinging to the handkerchief, and backpedaled. The giant flinched, and almost seemed to cower, like he was somehow afraid of her as well.

“I’m sorry! Miss, please––I promise I’m not gonna hurt you! Look, here, I can just…” He took another tentative step, which got another scream from the woman.

“Suns in the sky, what is going on in here?”

[elviraaxen]

Chrompoised - a retrospective, if you will

Hello I am back from instagram I'm gonna post more here now. I just wanna blabber abt my life and I'm on mobile so please excuse me not being able to add a "read more" 😃

Last time I was here for reals for reals I was like 21-22 really mentally ill and studying biology and then worked as a substitute teacher for a bit because I quit school due to my health being too bad.

Now I'm 25, went to art school and graduated, and have been diagnosed with adhd, I've been confirmed autistic, and I'm on meds, which is super cool ���✨ really getting used to that Adult Mature Brain! Really wish I could've used it earlier lol.

I'm mostly writing this because I had a minor break down just now because I was looking through my old convos that I had with people in 2016-2017 on here, and I realized that I don't remember a single person, conversation or who I even was (seriously, my opinions man 😵)! That was scary and I've realized that it's one of the worst parts of my adhd, my memory is absolutely garbage, my emotional dysregulation is really bad some days, and I'm really sorry to anyone whose conversations or usernames I've forgotten because my brain just decided that "nope this is not useful" and discarded. And those people who I've randomly lashed out on because that day I was being particularly angry over something minor. I honestly feel really mean. If I could I would try to reach out again but it's literally been years and I have too much anxiety regarding rekindling my old memories because it makes me realize how much I've forgotten. Which is probably about 90% of everything that wasn't extremely memorable. Like, biology? What was that? I don't even remember my classmates names 😃

...

Another discovery I've made about myself is how I always seemed(maybe still do idk) to end up leaving friend groups and stuff like servers, because my brain would make up reasons to leave due to me having REALLY bad rejection sensitive dysphoria (adhd-related). It was rarely the other party's fault, and I've probably left up to 5 separate discord servers on different occasions because my dysphoria made it so bad that I had to pull out of everything so that "they wouldn't have the chance to kick me out first". The same thing would happen to closer friendships, where I would make up a reason to leave them, because my brain was convinced that they were secretly plotting to hurt me, and so we (as in my brain and I) had to run NOW before it was too late. Like yikes, I had no idea that was such a prevalent and destructive part of my life until maybe a few months ago! Really wish I knew that earlier so that I didn't burn so many bridges. I would probably still be friends with more than one or two people from the voltron fandom if I knew that about myself back then 😅 but oh well. It's been like 3 years, so it would be weird of me to just pop by like "hi. Sorry for being a pissy baby I'm neurodivergent 🥺 surprise!"

...

Idk i feel awfully nostalgic in the worst way today, probably because it's new years eve and I'm alone due to Covid (by choice, mind you), and I miss my friends. I haven't seen them since this summer when Covid wasn't as bad where I lived. And this app is making me think back on the person I was 4 years ago when I was questioning my will to live, and who I've developed into today and that all I can think about is how fun it is to make art and learn about art and how much more potential I have now that I'm medicated!!

Like happy fucking new year's y'all. what a ride. I have no idea what this post was. I love you, brush 2020 off your shoulders, and see you tomorrow for 2021 ok? Ok bye ❤️