#posting it online means it is intended for people to see and interact with

[shoyoist]

i feel like there is almost no one left that write about tokrev 😭😭 there was a few of them before tho 😶 wdy think about it???

hi nonnie !! yeah, i agree a lot of writers have moved on to other fandoms or left completely </3 but i do think there are some people who still want to write for tr but are hesitant, because writing for a dead/dying fandom is sometimes disheartening because of the lack of engagement

[is-the-fire-real]

When I was last on tumblr, it was ten years ago and one of the biggest faux pas you could commit was incorrect tagging.

It was Literally Colonialism to use a tag that was For Certain Oppressed Groups. The actually-autistic tag was created because allistics "took over" the autism tag, and this/other tags became heavily policed by users to make sure they remained a "safe space".

I remember seeing countless posts about how autistics would never be safe if we didn't have a bubble to protect us from interacting with allistics. The same went for tags about transliness and queerness. The going approach used militarized and hyperbolic language to characterize and other folks who weren't in the community: autistics (the group I had the most direct experience with) were attacked by allistic invaders who violated and conquered autistic tagging systems.

The "Literally Colonialism" isn't a joke. I saw plenty of suggestions that to even use a tag which was perceived as being "not yours" was colonization of ideas and thoughts. To be allistic, have an opinion on autism, and tag it as "autism" was held up as being exactly the same as the behavior of empires and nation-states.

Obviously, I don't entirely agree, and don't think this particular hyperbolization is helpful for advocacy or for dialogue. But I do find it interesting how, in the decade since I was last here, it seems to (mostly) still be true that you should only use certain tags if you have a particular identity...

... unless you're not Jewish, in which case feel free to use any and all Judaism-related tags and break the system's meager functionality for Jewish people.

As someone who is using Tumblr to connect to online Judaism, it's daunting to see how many posts under "judaism" are by non-Jews screeching about Israel. Seeing non-Jews openly talk about they tag their posts with gore, rape denial, Holocaust denial, October 7 denial, and other deliberately-triggering material with Jewish-themed tags specifically to make Jewish users of Tumblr feel unsafe. Reading them telling each other about how this is advocacy, this will absolutely win the war for Gazans, and how anybody who blocks them (in order to make sure the tags can actually work as intended) is a genocidal coward. Using that self-same militaristic language to describe their activities, only instead of criticizing, they're bragging.

It's, uh, kind of fucked up.

Imagine going to the actually-autistic tag and finding nothing but a wall of allistics claiming that they've victoriously conquered the tag from those inhuman monsters pretending to have problems when other Real People are the ones who are suffering. I think we would all intuitively understand that this would be Wrong. Even if there was some supposed outward justification for being mad at certain autistics, we would understand that holding all autistics everywhere responsible for it is wrong. That breaking a community's ability to talk to each other is wrong. That trying to trigger people and then telling them to commit suicide is wrong.

And we'd also understand, or come to, that the very action of going "This community I'm not part of doesn't deserve to have this tag, I'mma take it back, or at least ruin it so no one else can have it" is an expression of privilege. It is wrong, and it is immature, and it is cowardice.

These smug, self-involved, active attempts at causing harm make no sense at all if seen as advocacy; they help no one, advance no cause, stop no Zionists (whatever that means) from expressing themselves online.

They only make sense when seen as Jew-hate.

[aroaceloverofgarlicbread]

Hello

My old introduction message was not very good so I’m gonna do a new one.

Hello. My name is TheAroaceGarlicBreadLover, I am an INFP aroace, and this is my blog where I will primarily talk about aspec stuff, but possibly other things as well rarely. And even though this blog is primarily intended to be for aspec people, basically anyone is accepted here as long as you don’t discriminate against others. However, I mostly direct all my posts at aspec people (Such as most of my polls being directed at aspec people specifically and having one option for non-aspec people in general), so you may feel a bit left out if you’re not.

https://en.pronouns.page/@GarlicBreadAAAAA

I am an introvert, and not very good at being social and talking to people, so i may be a bit awkward to talk to and I’m not very self confident so I often change my mind instantly after posting something and delete it right after so if you see me having posted something and then it’s gone, that’s probably why, and if it’s not deleted then I have most likely edited the post several times (Such as this entire part being something I put in after posting this)

This I tend to write very long messages very often to make sure I convey everything I wanna convey, so sorry about that.

My interests outside of mentioning that I’m aroace every 5 seconds are mostly writing stories, Playing Minecraft (Mostly being in fan-made life series if you know what that is, but it’s pretty niche so I doubt anyone will), and anything related to Undertale/Deltarune (I love UT/DR so much, I am absolutely obsessed with it), including AUs and such, and I’m also interested in just playing other video games as well, but Minecraft, Undertale, and Deltarune are my favorite ones.

I am openly Aroace both irl and online, so basically everyone who knows me pretty well also knows that I’m aroace at this point, although no one except my close friends and such in my school knows, as some people there are a bit queerphobic. I live in Europe.

I am okay with suggestive jokes and stuff like that, but only from other people who are also minors. People that aren’t minors can still follow and interact with me, but then don’t make suggestive jokes please.

Hope you have a good time here!

LORE (Not really):

I have 3 worms thanks to i-give-worms

I have also have giant orange fuzzy worm pet

I have an apple

I also have too many kiwis - 502

I have a curse where all my Garlic Bread also contains onions, but it can be fixed by using silver plates

I have a strong shield that repels kiwis

I was given 5 nekomimi (Which means with cat ears if google didn’t lie to me) kids, named Karl, Max, Jerry, Tom and Hajime. I am not prepared for children but yeahh… when they grow up I’ll put them in my Garlic Bread factory or smth. Apparently they go crazy over cat nip…

I have a really big box of garlic chicken tenders

I have a spray bottle

Selling hoodies with silhouettes of purple bats!! 8 left in stock!! They cost 2 Garlic Bread each!!

I have a skeleton skull that seems to possess the ghost of a French sailor

[elrielffs]

I wanted to touch on the BC (yes, AGAIN, for the millionth time) because...

The Azriel PoV BC is treated special, like it matters more than any other BC that SJM has ever done and here's the thing...it doesn't.

The BC's are canon, that is a fact. They aren't deleted scenes or things that SJM didn't intend. They are just as they are stated. Bonus Chapter/Content.

Now, as a bonus that inherently means it's a cherry on top of the story. A fun little extra. It can forshadow, show character intentions in a deeper light, be fun, be smutty, have conflict but at the end of the day it is not important to the story and it is not needed. Even the BC where two characters get married--it is not needed. We know the couple are together and have already gone thru their journey. We never saw Feyre and Rhysand's mating ceremony--again something that we didn't need but would have been nice to have.

A lot of people have put much stock into the Azriel BC because of shipping wars, some even saying it should be in the book proper because how will the story continue without people knowing what happened?

But...that's just it. If this chapter was as important as people like to say it is--surely it would have at least been more widespread?? Included in all standard editions of ACOSF?? Instead it was released in two countries, in the US and Brazil, in copies only from one store.

You can't even get it anymore unless it's secondhand.

So many people in fandom don't even know this BC exists.

Now, to the contents of the BC proper.

I fully believe this BC was intended to cement Elain and Azriel's feelings and showcase that Gwyn has more going on power wise than first shown.

And guess what? We don't need that as readers.

We don't NEED a scene between Azriel and Elain because we know that the feelings are there due to the past books. (There are so many post detailing the Elain and Az scenes and people have eyeballs and supposedly read the books other than ACOSF.)

We know Gwyn has more going on power wise that has not been revealed. Her interactions with Nesta in ACOSF and Nesta herself describing Gwyn having something under the surface and the secret of Gwyn's parentage. Azriel's reactions to Gwyn are similiar to Nesta's. Even in the bc itself is a callback to Azriel's interaction with Elain--a thing of secret lovely beauty is used in BOTH scenes (which people conveniently forget).

It's was all laid out in ACOSF. We do not need this BC.

The BC takes place in the middle of the book--roughly. And nothing changes. Gwyn and Azriel's relationship to each other doesn't deepen, Azriel is still pining after Elain. Is the chapter still canon? Yes, but it is not integral to the story.

The only thing I can think of that might be important is Rhysand's conversation with Azriel but even that could be explained in a sentence or two or rehashed into a new scene which SJM could easily do if she felt like it.

I just don't think SJM intended the BC to blow up as it did. People can think differently, sure and I could be wrong but with it's limited availability and the fact that it was not included in the book proper and the story moves on without it---I just don't see how it's important as it's made out to be.

Edit to add: Yes the BC is available online but people would have to know it exists first to know to look for it and it’s only online due to fans. Neither Bloomsbury or SJM have published the BC online or pointed to it for understanding the next book.

[nothorses]

You 100% don't have to answer this, especially if talking about this could harm you. I was just wondering if you had any tips or thoughts about dealing with the trauma of Tumblr abuse campaigns that the people who did the harassing claimed was righteous. They usually start with callout posts. Years later and I am still traumatized, have nightmares, and my disabilities have worsened because of the abuse.

I think the best thing that I did for myself was set a couple of boundaries around exposure to it, at the advise of @vaspider: I decided I wasn't going to look at tags or blogs that I knew I'd find more of those posts in, and I asked people to stop sending me updates as well.

Just removing exposure did a lot for me. I still do have moments where I "break" and go look in my tags, but a) not for at least 6 months, b) I felt I was not going to be impacted the same way, and c) I was and am always wrong, and I stop myself before getting very far because of that.

Block people liberally. Block them for saying shit that hurts you, and block them for being annoying. It's not an act of violence, it's not mean or cruel or whatever; just curate your experience. And don't allow people access to you who intend to do you harm.

Beyond that... take a break. If you have a piece you feel you still need to say, type it up somewhere else, wait a day or two, post it if you still feel you need to, and make that the last time you talk about it.

Focus on, and nurture, real-life hobbies and relationships. Interact with people and things that have no connection to these events. Not because online relationships aren't "real", but because your social life being public is genuinely, inherently unhealthy. You should not have to worry about the worst possible interpretations of everything you do or say all the time; find people who love you and trust you, and spend time with them. Privately. Exist in a space where you feel loved and worth loving; trusted and worth trusting; and where you don't feel the need to apologize for, or defend, everything you do or say.

Most importantly, cultivate a trust in yourself. Trust that you are always trying, and trust that mistakes are just mistakes. Trust that people who trust you will see the best interpretations of your words and actions, even if you realize later how they "might have come off".

Let feelings go, if you can. Letting go of the hurt doesn't mean it never happened, and you never felt that way; you're just allowing yourself to move on, to find peace, and to remove the power they had over you. Living in panic and hurt will only make the panic and the hurt worse.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry it was that bad. You're not alone. You can heal. I wish you all the best 💙

[aphtwitterau]

(7) Love

"Everyday you impossibly get worse," Dante says whilst walking into his shared dorm room, knowing Travis is at his desk on his side of the room. In Dante's arms is his signature red jacket.

Travis turned around in his swivel chair and raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, "I don't know what you mean and I know you know that I don't."

Dante rolled his eyes and closed the door, locking it behind him before throwing his jacket on the bed, "here's a hint: he's a dick with black hair and a singular blue eye and I'm not even sure he even has another eye."

Travis sighed dreamily and turned back towards his desk, resting his elbows on the surface while laying his head in between his hands, failing at hiding his mushy smile at just the mention of Zane. Zane Ro'Meave may be an asshole to most, if not all, but he was definitely hot. With his snarky attitude and mascara and eye bags and dark aesthetic and pale skin and dark hair and deep voice and light blue eyes. Not to mention he was always fun to mess with in their interactions, whether it is online or in person. Just the notification of Zane replying to his post gets Travis all giddy.

"He's so bad," Travis says intently, a light hue coming towards his tanned cheeks from thinking of the raven-haired man.

Dante groans at both Travis' immediate dippy, sappy mood and the words he says. He does not want to think of Garroth's emo little brother as 'bad', not now, not in a million years. "You're never going to get anywhere if you keep getting on his nerves."

Dante pauses before continuing, "I actually don't know if it's possible to not get on his nerves."

Travis looks over his shoulder, seeing Dante change into more comfortable clothes to get into bed. The blue haired man kicking off his shoes while idly shaking off his shirt. "It definitely is possible, and I intend to be able to accomplish that action."

Dante raises an eyebrow at Travis, asking for a further explanation. "If Aph and Nana can do it, so can I."

After a few short moments of Dante quickly changing into pajamas and flopping onto his bed in the shared dorm room, "I think you're forgetting someone— oh yeah, you are. Blaze," Dante reminds the half-warlock.

Nobody will never know why it happened, when it happened, how it happened, or even what happened, but by some powers of Irene and even Shad himself, Blaze and Zane were friends. The two, on paper, seemed like they would never get along. Blaze is loud and eccentric, even a bit dumb in certain times. Zane is moody and conservative, and in his own moments, he can even be pretentious. However, the two managed to survive being dorm mates and even enjoyed each others company.

Maybe Blaze got Zane to bring out more of his fun side, if he even had one. Maybe Zane got Blaze to calm down every once in a while. Either way, much to Travis' chagrin, Blaze was an additional person to the list of people who Zane could tolerate. Travis, on the other hand, was not. Did Travis hate Blaze? No, he could not hate the red-head, he was a fun guy. He was just envious that not only was he Zane's roommate but also Zane actually made an effort to talk to him.

"How dare you remind me that there is another boy in my beloved's heart?" Travis asks, feigning sadness, "what does he have that I don't?"

Dante fakes pondering for a moment before saying, "Zane in his room?" To which Travis threw a crumpled up piece of paper directly at Dante, hitting him in the head. Dante feigns hurt and offense in his expression.

"How could you say that— that was so inappropri— shame on you, Dante." Travis stammered out while shooting a glare at the blue haired man as the other laughed.

Travis crumples up another piece of paper and throws it in Dante's direction, "ugh— stop that," Dante groaned as he got hit again.

"He's just so bad," Travis repeated again only for Dante to throw the paper back at him, hitting the back of his white colored hair, "do you think I'm his type?"

"I don't think he has a type of people he likes, as in I don't think he likes people, as in I think he hates humanity," Dante blandly stated, "y'know.. because he's a psycho, I don't know how he's Garroth's brother."

"What I also think is that you're not going to get anywhere if you piss him off— I mean 'what that mouth do'?" Dante asked while laughing, "I'm surprised he didn't block you on the spot."

Travis groaned and laid his forehead against the desk, muffled wailing going through the room. The wailing only stopped for him to catch his breath and he was silent for a while. Dante, on the other hand, eyed him warily while sitting on the edge of his bed. All of a sudden, Travis shot his head off with a determined look on his face; furrowed brows and his lips pressed into a smirk.

"He didn't block me on the spot," Travis repeats in a firm voice.

"Yeah, I just said that." Dante rolled his eyes.

"That means he doesn't hate hate me," Travis said with the same smirk on his face and a determined light in his eyes as he spoke.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, which is what I want to do right now," the blue eyed man said while rolling into bed, "so do me a favor, try to keep it down while you wank it to the cyclops—" Dante was interrupted with another piece of paper to the face, "I'll kill you."

"Go to sleep, sweetie," Travis said waving him off, "I solemnly promise that I will not be too loud while I respectfully fantasize about Zane, my future dearest husband." Dante flipped him off while pulling the covers over his body.

[temporalarts]

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!

[wellgoslowly]

my essay on lucy's usage of "Anthony" in romantic/tense interactions with Lockwood (Spoilers for Lockwood's past!)

ok so a couple of hours ago I made a post that said "after reading so many first kiss locklyle fics and seeing so many people write a part where Lockwood says he likes it when Lucy calls him "Anthony", I've come to the conclusion that he likes it because he hasn't heard his first name said with obvious love and adoration since his parents and Jessica died- until Lucy came along. In this essay I will..." and while that idea was something I was legitimately thinking about, I wasn't really actually intending to write an essay until people showed interest in it so here's the full "why Lockwood likes it when Lucy calls him Anthony" essay.

BIG DISCLAIMER: I haven't finished reading the books yet (I don't really care about spoilers, I already know a lot just from being a part of the fandom online), but if I get anything wrong or don't include anything that might be big, please let me know!!

Ok, so we all know that Donald and Celia died when Lockwood was 6. They were (obviously) the ones who named him and the ones who gave his name meaning for the first 6 years of his life. they were the ones who said his name softly when he was a baby and trying to lull him back to sleep, they were the ones who called "Anthony!" when it was time for dinner, they were the ones who introduced him to others as "my son, Anthony". They were the ones who gave his name meaning in the first place.

I also don't know if this is stated or not, but I feel like his name probably had some significant meaning to Donald and Celia. Through a small google search, the name Anthony shows up as associated with meanings such as "He who adds", "He who stands out", "The Deep Thinker", "Very Strong", "Magnetic", "Unconventional", and "Idealistic". It's also said to come from the name of Hercules's son, Anton. Even in trying to grasp for the smallest shreds of symbolism in this, it's very obvious that his parents were trying to raise a strong, caring, and brave son.

After his parents died, the only person he really had left that called him Anthony and gave it meaning was Jessica. She was the one who would say his name with exasperation when he was being annoying, she became to one who called his name when it was time for dinner, and she was the one who would call out his name when she needed help or wanted to ask him a question. I bet she even used his name when she asked him to help her unpack the crate that contained the artifact that would end up killing her.

The common trend isn't only that the people who made his name mean something were his family- it's that the people who made his name mean something were all people who prioritized taking care of him. After the deaths of his family, he had only person that he could trust to take care of him: himself.

He isolated himself both consciously and unconsciously when he became an agent- I feel like it probably became a way to make sure that he occupied himself with an activity he never had while he was growing up (something that could be possibly devoid of possible hurtful memories of his past).

I can imagine that people started calling him by his last name because of Gravedigger Sykes- he just seems like the type of guy who would call everyone by their last names even if you asked him not to. And that was probably an escape for Lockwood- he was able to become a different person (Lockwood) and differentiate himself from the "helpless" child that he used to be (Anthony). Lockwood became not only his name, but it was a mask for him to hide his grief behind and he just forced himself to grow into it.

The closest thing that he gets to being called Anthony is when Kipps calls him "Tony", or when one of his past employees called him "Big A", which implies that either he has made it explicitly clear that he doesn't want to be referred to as Anthony whatsoever, or he took time to rebuild whatever reputation he had and rewrite the impression that people had of him, turning their idea of him as a person from being filed under "Anthony" to "Lockwood". Either way, it's something that would take time. Even if he blows off the name change as Anthony being "something only his family called him", it doesn't change the fact that for the first 10 years of his life, that was the name he responded to. I feel like if his family had lived, he'd still go by Anthony- he wouldn't need to differentiate between the persona that Lockwood provides and the core personality that Anthony offers.

Having all of this in mind, when Lucy walks into 35 Portland Row, he is immediately drawn to her. We later learn that she reminds him of his sister and how feisty and headstrong Jessica could be. This puts his recklessness when it comes to putting his life in danger to save hers, and the "you know I'd die for you" quote into a different perspective- she has become his family in more ways than one. He already blames himself for Jessica's death- he'd do anything to save Lucy, first because of her similarity to Jessica and then because he's started falling in love with her, because he doesn't want to lose someone else because of his negligence or his arrogance.

When Lucy calls him "Anthony", it's going to mean a lot to him- the last people who called him that and put any meaning behind it were his family, who loved him unconditionally, valued him beyond belief, and tried to take care of him the best that he could. And now, he has the opportunity to experience that again through this young girl who has never been taught love in her life, but somehow gets it right just by saying his first name. It's the fact that she feels like she doesn't know how to love properly, but that small gesture for someone who has loved and lost is more than enough.

It's her way of saying that she values both the person he is for the rest of the world, her boss, and her best friend (Lockwood) but that she also loves the child inside of him who just wants to love someone as fiercely as he had been loved, the promise of the person he could've been (Anthony).

holy shit I just wrote all of that. hope yall enjoyed my rant. sorry for any emotions that may come as a side effect. <3

@lucy-j-carlyle @atatanya @xamdsona @losticaruss @incorrectlco @syfygirl1998 tagging everyone who seemed interested in the essay :)

[takkapakka]

Cassandra (Tangled) and queercoding

Interacting with the TTS fandom, everyone (including myself honestly) seems to agree that Cass is a lesbian. It’s not canon, because Disney sucks, but the coding is generally viewed to be pretty strong to the point that it’s taken to be canon in every way but on paper. Despite being such a popular view though there was absolutely nothing online that I could find (apart from a deleted tumblr post linked on reddit) that actually specified the exact coding that lead people to think this??? So, I decided that I would myself try to compile some of the reasons that might lead people to view her as a lesbian. This might be complete nonsense, but I am a huge fan of Cass and the show in general, and I just wanted to think a bit deeper about what it is, exactly, about her character that made so many lgbtq+ folks latch onto her as representation within the show. Also on top of already being extremely technologically illiterate this is my first ever post on here so excuse any issues on that part.

First off, just to preface this I think I want to outline my thoughts about coding in general. I think the line can often blur between stereotyping and queercoding, but I think queercoding is different to stereotyping because coding generally happens when someone creating an lgbtq+ character is physically not allowed or unable to say the character is queer. Obviously stereotyping is a pretty major problem within portrayal of marginalised groups in the media, but for gay characters (who are more often that not created by people who are lgbtq+ themselves) it can sometimes be the only way to actually express to your audience that you did intend for the character to be interpreted as gay without outright saying it because, as I said before, this may be something you are just unable to do. Tangled is a Disney property, which is known for being pretty homophobic and overall just majorly limiting gay characters in their media, which means that it must be hard for someone wishing to portray a queer character to do so. Having to lean into stereotypes to express a character as being queer sucks, but I personally think there’s a big difference between using stereotypes on a canonically queer character and one that you can’t actually say is queer. There’s still a loooot of progress to be made with queer representation in the media, but when you cant even outright say that a character is queer, coding is the next best thing because often queer people in the audience will pick up on this and interpret that character as lgbtq+ because they can recognise the intentions and want to believe the creators meant it because there’s so little queer media elsewhere compared to straight media. In addition to this, it can be comforting to think of your favourite character as similar to you in a way that you may have suffered for before.

Now to the actual purpose of writing this. One big thing I see people talking about is the fact that actual story board artists of the show have said they intended Cassandra to be interpreted as a lesbian. This is obviously huge because it leads on to all the other elements of her coding that I’ll discuss because this is coming from someone who actually worked to create the show. I’ve never been apart of a creative team so I don’t know how much actual control a story board artist has on the content of a show, but they still helped make it, so it has to count for something right?? I found a link to a tweet off Cass’ page on the lgbtq+ characters wiki (this is actually REALLY sparse for some reason and it basically just states her sexual orientation to be lesbian without very much evidence to back it up apart from the tweets, which even then seemed to only be one tweet, and her apparent feeling for Rapunzel (double bracket will get onto this later) so honestly this wasn’t as much help as I hoped it would be) which basically stated that Cass was fully intended to be interpreted as queer. Linked here: amboo 👻 on X: "@MegLegbird im glad the gays can recognize how gay cass is like, that's the only job we wanted to be successful" / X . The creator of the show, Chris Sonnenberg, actually joined a Right-Wing news company around  2022 and has been working for their children’s streaming platform which aims to “rival the output of “woke” media companies” which is incredibly sad and might be why the idea of Cass being a lesbian remained just within the artists, because it may be very likely that Sonnenberg himself is homophobic. He was also known to be incredibly salty towards the fan base for Tangled which I can’t comment on because I have zero solid explanation as to why this might be.

In the replies underneath the linked tweet there was some more discussion between the artist and another user. There’s discussions of the female artists agreeing to throw in “sapphic looks” because outright saying she’s gay was impossible, so it’s very clear that any coding was intentional and should be taken as valid. Some people may say that she has not been explicitly said to be a lesbian so saying she is one holds absolutely no validity, but I disagree with this because things in media do not have to be stated outright in the text for it to be taken as true. That’s what literacy analysis is for. Things carry denotations, its literal meaning, but there are also connotations, which is what the writer was trying to convey without explicitly stating it. So, by this reasoning, to say Cass isn’t a lesbian just because it was never stated in the show isn’t completely true, because the subtext is literally overflowing with hints, and subtext is a completely valid thing to talk about and to ignore would be failing in the role of a consumer. Text is meant to be interpreted in different ways, but when you are literally ignoring things the writers have put in on purpose in order to twist a piece of media’s meaning to what you want it to be, it just turns into ignorance. Interpretations of coding is heavily down to a person’s personal experiences and ideas, but it gets to a point where people can just blatantly ignore certain elements of media, and in this case I believe the coding is pretty strong because someone working on the show has actually confirmed that, in at least a portion of the show, Cassandra was fully intended to be understood as being a lesbian.

In terms of how she was actually coded within the show, one episode that springs to mind immediately in particular is the episode where Andrew (my biggest opp) is introduced. This episode is called “Under Raps” but I can’t tell you what episode number it is because I don’t have Disney plus anymore. If you don’t remember what happened basically Cass introduces mr ugly bugly himself to Rapunzel and Eugene as her boyfriend or whatever but it turns out he was trying to manipulate her to be able to steal this ancient book in order to overthrow Corona. In the end, it’s revealed Cass was only pretending to like him because she knew his plan all along and defended the book from him. They have a swordfight and its insane 10/10 no notes there. The reason I think of this as an example of queercoding is because it’s the only instance in the whole show where a male love interest is even referenced surrounding her (apart from Varian having a crush on her but I’m not even gonna mention this apart from now because of course she wouldn’t have any interest in him because he’s a literal child and she’s early to mid-twenties) and the fact that it’s shown she was just putting an act on the whole time makes me think this was intentional to show she would never have romantic relations with a man. Some of this might sound pretty speculative or far-fetched, but I think it’s valid to mention since I’ve already established that it was intentional from some of the creators to have her be interpreted as a lesbian in the first place. Any indication of her being interested in men ends after this episode, which I believe is significant because the concept was introduced for a short time until the reveal of her faking it when it is completely disregarded and never brought up again. I think this may be the creators indicating that attraction to men was never in the cards for her.

Another thing that may be taken (this is getting into the territory of being stereotypical which is why I mentioned it at the beginning) is lesbians in media are often depicted in such a way that they are cold, critical and even aggressive towards male characters. Think Santana Lopez from Glee, Vaggie from Hazbin Hotel, and Villanelle from Killing Eve. I believe this is shown in the way Cass interacts with Eugene, which is in sharp contrast to her much gentler demeanour with Rapunzel. She is extremely quick to bicker with and insult him, and will miss no opportunity to pick a fight with him. From the very first episode, this is shown in the way she repeatedly insists that Rapunzel cannot tell Eugene the true story behind her hair reappearing, due to the fact that Cass doesn’t trust him. She eventually tells him anyway, but Cass isn’t happy about it. Even off the top of my head, there are many, many, more examples of Cass instigating arguments between them, this is just an example of one very plot-relevant occasion of her appearing to dislike him. While it is of course not true in real life that lesbians dislike all men just because they are men, I believe this is used to code Cassandra because it is used directly to emphasise her softer, sweeter attitude towards Rapunzel, along with the fact that the “man hating lesbian” is already a common trope used to depict lesbians. Stereotypes are not a good thing, but they are often a device used by writers to indicate a character as possessing specific traits or mannerisms. In this case it’s used to convey a characters’ sexuality when you are unable to say it outright.

Furthering from Eugene being used to contrast Rapunzel in relation to Cassandra, another massive thing that signals Cass as a lesbian in my opinion is the way she interacts with Rapunzel. Some of the screenshots of Cass looking at her are extremely and undeniably fruity, and if I was more technologically competent I might be able to insert some of them here, but her expressions are often filled with longing and admiration. This can be directly attributed to the story boarders, which was mentioned prior in replies to the tweet. I know that Rapunzel had just eaten incredibly spicy fruit, but I refuse to believe that Cassandra flirtily tucking her hair behind her ear while Rapunzel was bright red and choking on her breath wasn’t intended to be at least a little bit gay.

In addition to all the fruity looks that Cass gives Rapunzel like I just mentioned, there is a whole episode where Rapunzel loses her memory, and guess who is in Eugene (her canon love interest)’s place? Cassandra! Whether this was intentional or just because Cass was the closest one there is, I suppose, up to you, but a great many scenes in that episode directly mirror those in the movie, including Cass gazing lovingly at Rapunzel while she uses her hair to swing around a tree for the first time. In my humble opinion, this is extremely gay. I don’t personally think this is a coincidence, but even if it was, it still contributes to my belief that Cass is a lesbian.

The actual ship of Cassandra x Rapunzel is something I don’t personally enjoy, mainly because I love Raps and Eugene too much to even consider thinking about them with anyone else, but I do believe that Cass was in love with Rapunzel, who just viewed her as a best friend. This is due to the aforementioned evidence of the abundance of examples of fondness she displays towards her, and also the fact that this is used in very obvious contrast to how she interacts with Eugene. I think this contrast was either on purpose or enhanced by people on the team who intended for Cassandra to be interpreted as a lesbian, because it is VERY obvious how different she is with Rapunzel and Eugene. She is also very close with Rapunzel in general, showing her to be the only person she accepts hugs from, and also spending a lot of time with her and clearly caring for her greatly. I know some people dislike this ship because they interpret their relationship as sisterly, but I don’t personally view it as such because Gothel was extremely abusive towards Rapunzel and was barely in Cass’ life at all so I don’t think they have relation on that front, as well as the fact that the way their relationship began doesn’t, in my opinion, lead naturally into a view of each other as being similar to siblings. The dynamic between them is more best friends I think.

I’m not an expert on coding in fiction by any means to it’s very possible I may have gotten things wrong within this, but from evidence from the show mentioned within I think it is fair to say that this is at least a little bit indicative of some of the reasons why so many people so strongly believe Cass to be a lesbian. As I mentioned before, it’s a very nice feeling to see elements of yourself that you may have suffered for before represented within characters you love, which is why I believe people are so enthusiastic about Cass’ sexuality, not to mention the fact that it has been confirmed to be intentional by actual creators within the show. Queer characters, especially in children’s media, are so few and far between that it can be really lovely to see even a little bit of yourself depicted in a character you really like in a show you really enjoy. All in all, I know characters’ sexualities can be a very heavily debated topic within fandom spaces, but the idea of Cass being a lesbian seems to be pretty unanimous so the purpose of writing this was just to put into words exactly why I think this is such a widely held belief. There are no rules around how you choose to interact with characters within fandoms, and everything is up to complete personal interpretation, so just have fun and remember to be respectful of others who may have different opinions to you!!

[wyllaztopia]

It's probably preferable if you don't reply to this. But do as you like.

Ah, forgive me. Let me be a little less chronically online.

I didn't mean to imply anything by it—it's just common to see, given your age and the kind of content you make/who you interact with. A common pattern. I'd rather rip off the bandaid and get it out of the way, than to be surprised later.

It's hard to ask these sort of things. The topic can be delicate, and I have no interest in bringing you harassment for any kind of opinion on this sort of thing. People can take things like shipping too seriously. ^^;

But because of that—I don't know if you're that kind of person either, so I wanted to ask. I think everyone can agree that it's fine to stay away from things that make you uncomfortable.

It's just if you feel strongly enough about it to condemn the people who do take interest in that sort of thing. If you think the witch hunting and death threats that propagates is acceptable. That's really what I was looking for in your response.

A lot of people can be like that. It's a popular stance, these days.

But you seem sensible enough. Of course, have whatever opinions you like. It's none of my business and you owe no one any explanation.

I only ask because it affects my ability to engage with your content. I would rather not eat the food of someone who wants to poison me, right? It seems in poor taste.

I look forward to your work in the future. Thank you for your consideration.

i'm going to respond so people don't misunderstand my original post, thank you so much for clarifying!

i do not agree with any type of harassment or death threats sent to a person no matter that may have done. if they do something extremely illegal or messed up, i believe it's better to either report to the proper authorities, spread awareness under the notion to warn and protect others, and then stay away from the person.

it is not that hard to block a person, there's no need to spread hate. just simply do the right and decent thing. if people don't agree with me and you're into witch hunting, you're free to stay away from my blog.

so for clarification, i don't support the weird messed up stuff from pr-shippers (if that's what you call them), but i also won't go through extreme lengths such as the antis (the witch hunters and the death threat sendrers lol). i'd rather avoid taking sides and just stay away from content that makes me uncomfortable and i know is wrong.

i'm not very strong on the shipping community, any ship art i make is essentially just drawn for fun - i don't intend to market my blog as shipping content. however, i won't accept art request with illegal and messed up ships (extreme age gaps, inc-st, none of that please!)

thank you for bringing this up. i realized that people might need this clarification after bringing up some ships in my blog. hope you all have a good day!

[rweoutofthewoods]

I don't think I have ever pretended I'm perfect or acted in any way like I am. I base literally all of my writing around the fact that people make mistakes, they fuck up, and that's human. There's not a single person on earth who hasn't done things they can't take back. Does that mean doing shitty things is okay just because everyone does it? No. What matters is taking accountability facing the consequences, and learning and growing from it. You can't control the way other people react, only yourself. There's so much negativity and hatred in fandom spaces and it's so easy to feed into it, egg each other on, and see the worst in every person. In February I was forced to face the fact that I was falling into that negativity and since then, I have worked hard to make sure my life, my blog, and the people I interact with all bring positivity into my life and that I bring positivity to them. I'm proud of that, and I've dropped a lot of bad habits and I'm learning to grant people grace even when they can't find it in themselves to offer it to other people. I've never had malicious intent to hurt anyone, and I truly believe most people are not bad people. Because I know I've made mistakes too, and I believe in granting understanding even if it's not returned. It's not transactional, and all you can control in this world is yourself and the way you react to things. And I spent a long time reacting negatively, but I don't anymore. I truly wish everyone well, even those who aren't in my life anymore.

I had to work hard to undo a lot of my first instincts and when I started posting online. I realized that I'd often say things brashly or harshly and they came off in ways I didn't truly mean. Or I'd get angry over something and instantly lash out. I saw the world as very black and white and I didn't often think before I spoke, because I knew that whatever I said was never that deep, but I quickly realized to some people it WAS that deep and whether I intended it that way or not, speaking harshly or meanly was wrong. It's so easy to get mean if someone disagrees with you or does something to make you mad. It's so easy to reply to asks in a cruel or passive-aggressive way if they say something you don't like and I regret times in the past when I did that. The past two months I've changed a lot about how I interact with people and the things I say, I learned my lesson.

There's a lot of drama, hatred, vendettas, and negativity in the marauders fandom. I can't control or change that or anything in the past, only what I do and who I am now. I have no ill intent toward anyone and I've never publicly acted maliciously even at my worst, and I would not ever publicly speak ill of anyone.

People fuck up, that's humanity, and you can understand that people grow and realize their mistakes or you can not, and I don't blame anyone for what they choose to do, the past has already happened. I believe so firmly in second chances and allowing people to learn. It's in everything I write, and I think that does a much better job of showing how I view the world.

I am very sorry for any occasion where I have participated in spreading negativity and to anyone who was hurt by it. I take full accountability no ifs or buts. I really have so much love for this fandom and the people in it and it should be a place where we can all respect opinions, ships, hcs, etc. I'm not interested in entertaining drama because we're all just here to enjoy our silly wizards and all I can do is continue upholding my vow to stay positive, understanding, stay accountable, and keep doing my thing, and I hope we can all try to do the same xx

[arlertdarling]

tldr: i’m cancelling my follower event and moving blogs to @junovie. i’m officially back from my ‘break’ but i can’t promise i’ll be frequently active (at least not as much as i used to be), much less that i’ll be writing/posting new works regularly.

i look forward to catching up with you all !! thank you for your support and understanding <3

full original post under the cut

hello!

you may or may not have noticed that i’ve been quite inactive for the last few months or so.

i’m sorry to everyone who has reached out to me in that time — i’m not ignoring you, i’ve just been logged out of this account and staying away from tumblr in general. i plan on getting back to you all privately and individually, but if you could read this post, just so you have an idea of what’s going on, i would really appreciate it! :)

anyway, i have two announcements to make regarding my blog — not bad, but definitely important changes! i’ve been meaning to make them for a while, but only just found the time and courage to go through with them.

there’s also a more in-depth (albeit rambly) explanation to why and where i’ve been gone after the announcements. it’s a little long, so there’s no pressure to read it all if you don’t want to.

my first announcement is that i’m cancelling my 100+ follower event.

...but you probably all saw that one coming lol

i absolutely intended to complete all the requests regardless of how long it took, but it’s been over 7 months now and i no longer see myself ever getting around to them at this point. i feel awful about it, especially because i was so excited about the event and milestone itself, but i just don’t have the motivation to write the rest anymore.

to be transparent, the main thing that affected and eventually halted my work flow entirely is this weird subconscious self-disciplinary rule i had where i was ‘not allowed’ to write anything until i’d finished my old projects. this isn’t an actual rule obviously, but it prevented me from writing new ideas or enjoying writing on this blog/for tumblr as a whole for months. every time i got inspired to write something, i’d remember that i have these obligatory requests to complete first, that it would be selfish and unfair to ‘ignore’ or not prioritise them, that people will be mad at me for not doing so etc, etc.

i’ve luckily stopped thinking this way now, but that’s why i’ve made this decision. i should write for myself and my enjoyment, first and foremost. it shouldn’t be an obligation. it’s not a commission or contractual assignment, it’s a silly online milestone event that i made and can just as easily discontinue should i want to — so that’s what i’ve chosen to do.

thank you to everyone who participated and/or supported the event, it means a lot to me still, and i’m sorry to those whose requests i didn’t manage to write. even with how much time has passed, i still feel shame and embarrassment about how this all turned out, so your acceptance and understanding would be really appreciated.

my next announcement is that i’m moving blogs.

i’m moving to a new account where i have an interaction/personal main blog (@junovie) and my current nsfw writing sideblog. i might make a new sfw one for my other writing shenanigans, but i haven’t made up my mind about that one yet.

it’s nothing serious, i mostly just want a fresh start. this blog has gotten disorganised and messy, and while some people don’t mind or even like it that way, personally i need structure and organisation in order to stay sane, so my plan is to move to a new blog. as for this blog — i might delete it permanently in the future, but for now, i just intend to archive it.

with the announcements out of the way, i just have a few more things i want to talk about.

i’m currently writing this part of the post in march of 2024, but i’ve been considering these changes since around december of 2023, and started drafting this post in january.

in that time, i’ve been mostly logged out of this account (aside from when i would come to add to this post) and keeping tumblr at arm’s length in general for... no reason in particular really? i know many people have had at least one bad experience or two during their time on tumblr, which may have led to them needing a break, but i’ve honestly been lucky enough to never have encountered anything severe personally.

for the most part, i’ve just been focused on my education. i’m at a stage in my life where i have important decisions to be making, paths and passions i want to be pursuing, responsibilities i need to be taking care of... and in comparison, my time for writing on tumblr has dwindled.

on the other hand, this ‘break’ of sorts, away from tumblr, has helped me realise just how much of my time i had been spending on what is really just another silly little social media app on my silly little phone. that’s not to say the people i’ve met and the feelings i’ve experienced aren’t good, valuable or a part of my life, or that the support i’ve received and joy i’ve shared don’t have worth in the bigger picture, because they are, they do, and i’m grateful for them all!! but in retrospect, there were, and are, more important things in my life that require my time, energy and attention [over writing] and that i should have been prioritising sooner. that’s on me for getting essentially addicted and becoming neglectful, and that’s why i needed to step back like i have.

in some ways, i feel a little guilty, because i feel like, i don’t know... like my sudden ‘hiatus’ should have been as a result of some big, crazy life event, or depression or something. and it kind of was [the latter], at the start, but the truth is it’s the opposite now? like, i’ve just been happier these days... but i don’t think it has anything to do with my break from tumblr, at least not in the sense that it makes me unhappy, or the absence of it improves my mental health or whatever. just in the sense that the time i would have spent scrolling or writing, i’ve now been spending doing other hobbies that make me happy, making connections with real life people, reflecting on and learning to love life and myself. i’m far from being where i want to be and i’m definitely still figuring things out, but i feel like i’m better at dividing my time now, and more capable of being on tumblr without it consuming my life force and every waking thought.

so, i’m going to come back, but i’m making no promises that i’ll be frequently active (at least not as much as i used to be), much less that i’ll be writing/posting new works regularly, especially not requests. i’m here just to have fun, be silly, bond with people over stories and fictional characters — and whatever else i may want in the future — but i never want it to feel like a chore or burden again.

even though i feel bad for basically ghosting everyone in my inbox and being inexplicably MIA for like, 3 months, i don’t regret taking this break. i just hope everyone will understand and respect my decisions and the changes to come.

friends/mutuals are welcome to message me if you’re curious about details or concerned or whatever else, but i’ve probably said enough here to answer any questions lol. i look forward to coming back and catching up with you all.

see you guys soon <3

[triflesandparsnips]

(eta 10/10/23: Having just realized that this is now a very easy to google explainer, please also see the full end-of-game roundup here: "when something is definitely not a game, but most definitely a gift" or my related #definitely not a game tag. We now return you to your regularly scheduled nonsense, currently in progress.)

So... so.

So this just dropped.

And listen. LISTEN. For people who haven't been following this Our Flag Means Death-related alternate-reality-shenanigan fest, the following will make no sense to you-- or, wait, fuck it--

A Brief History of the Javid Denkins Alternate-Reality Game

(I didn't intend "overly long essays about in-depth fandom-related shenanigans" to be my brand, but by god I'm here now and I will make us all suffer through it.)

Reality (As We Know It)

Established and verified gay pirate showrunner David Jenkins is a regular shenanigineer on twitter: retweets fanart, retweets cosplays, calls fans sluts (endearment), has ongoing fight with medieval cats.

Back in 2022, David Jenkins implied heavily that he had joined tumblr, but did not cough up his account name.

This is the sum total of real and actual events and identities.

Through the Looking Glass

Fans started looking for David Jenkins's tumblr. What fans found is the tumblr of one Javid Denkins, who appeared to be new, had a variant of Jenkins's twitter icon, and seemed to be cheekily maintaining an incognito by steadfastly asserting that he is definitely not David Jenkins.

Fans got weird about it, because that is the nature of fandom. I said something about it here, because I have Feelings about the Rules of Incognito and also about Not Being Weird About People Who Make the Content We Like. I put it as a reblog to the post, as per regular tumblring, no response requested/required because babes, if I'm going to be perceived, I want it to be organic. (ahem... FOOTNOTE 1)

I kept a cursory eye on things, because it can be Really Lonely to be a famous person who just wants to have a regular online experience, and if that's what whoever was on the other end wanted, then that's what they should get to have imo. Unlike a regular tumblr that I might reply to directly or engage with on a same-level kinda way, I let them set the rules of engagement because unless/until they came clean, they would always be Schrodinger's Showrunner to me, and therefore subject to my internal Don't Be Creepy ruleset.

My second Javid reblog was pretty much what I would do to any other newbie tumblr person (as they professed to be): adding on to a gag by referencing the "color of the sky" meme and also a seagull, for OFMD-related reasons (which fit within the ruleset, because Javid was actively connecting himself with OFMD type things). And Javid reblogged it, so hey, I was winning at tumblr interactions, a thing that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

Time passed. Javid dropped (what will be revealed to be the first of many) photo manipulations. (FOOTNOTE 2)

On the same day, Javid posted what looked like an accidental smashkey. I reblogged with a seagull, because again, established rules of engagement and me winning at tumblr interactions. He reblogged himself, though, with what looked like another smashkey, but was actually a goddamn Caesar cipher-- and started using the tag #definitely not a game.

From there, Javid started up a stream of fairly fun puzzles. I didn't keep up with it fully, but since it looked like Javid wanted people to interact, I interacted (while trying to ensure that other people could keep having fun too). He also started subtly changing his icon, his tumblr header, etc., expanding the bounds of the puzzle space, as it were. (And if you want a complete rundown of the puzzle history and the associated answers, this twitter thread is enormous and thorough, thank you @eefaevie.)

The seagull made an appearance every once in a while; I threw together various season 2 bingo cards in response to these potential spoilers; I spent my time largely keeping back so I could eat popcorn and Not Be Creepy. But... but.

The thing was, Javid's method of posting (in a "heeeere fishy fishy fishy" manner) seemed, to me, to be the actions of someone trying to play with the audience and/or provide enrichment for the enclosure. So after some thought and, again, remembering the loneliness of being a Creative Person but trying to be mindful that this person was still incognito and could be the actual dude, I started using the seagull to reblog extra content, links, whathaveyou, with the tag #enrichment can go in BOTH enclosures-- with the idea that, if Javid wanted to look, he had the option to do so-- and if he did, he'd be rewarded with, again, no demands on him or his attention, but just: some content. Some enrichment. Some fun. A "picking up what you're putting down" kind of vibe from one person to another, both of whom are, at the very least, interested in communicating with an audience.

To be clear: For me, at the end of the day, it had to be a choice. I needed to provide room for Javid to choose to enter the magic circle of my additional game play-- but I also wasn't going to hold my breath about it. This was Javid's space, with intentions and purposes I had no way of knowing (nor should I)-- I was just, metaphorically, bringing another set of dice and maybe some graph paper with an extra room drawn on it that he could easily enter if he wanted, to play in a space intended to complement his. He was putting in a shitton of labor for what was essentially just a gift; I wanted to show appreciation for that labor, while putting in some of my own to gift back.

So when the first round of puzzles ended, and a new one began, I linked the answers to one of his anagram puzzles inside some seagull gifs-- but I figured, why not add something extra? I used his pigpen cipher to dare him to use a book code next. To even see the dare he'd have to want to decode the gifs-- and if he ultimately didn't want to engage, no skin off my nose. (That's why there's a border around the magic circle with clear entrances and exits.) Either way, I was having a nice time.

The next puzzle type was a stereogram. (Neat.) The puzzle after that, though? I get tagged and informed that Javid has, in fact, posted a motherfucking book code. (FOOTNOTE 3)

Enter the Thunder Parasocial Dome

This is the point where I first have to be pulled down from the curtains by rational people who have only my best interests at heart.

(Having a whole Thesis Statement about why I was engaging with Schrodinger's Showrunner is one thing. Having possible evidence that my engagement was, like, actually engaged with is quite another.)

By sweet and loving friends and family I was reminded that:

Other people are, in fact, allowed to be clever about things too.

That all sorts of pre-planning may have gone into all this, and that therefore the timing was a coincidence.

That there are a limited number of easily accessible ciphers out there, so the code type could also be a coincidence.

And that either way I still have my important Don't Be Creepy code of ethics.

So. I took a deep breath. Cool. I was totally and absolutely cool about this.

...And in a totally normal manner I proceeded to lay an elaborate trap.

AHAHAHA JUST JOKING what I mean is: I replied to the tagged post, acknowledging that the sphere of potential puzzling had now expanded beyond tumblr. I used Javid's own fake-link trick to link to a seagull laugh. And in the tags I threw in a lot of potential internet-related alternate reality stuff.

But also, crucially... some more ideas for Javid to use. (FOOTNOTE 4) If he wanted them. If he was actually looking.

Since I was now playing In Earnest, I spent some time putting together a youtube channel, an alternate tumblr, a neocities account -- a whole new field of play, if Javid wanted to engage there. I pulled out the dusty memories of a Yuletide fic I wrote several years ago that used similar shenanigans to tell an interactive fiction story about Monty Python. (Hilariously enough, my first RPF.) I continued to play with all these new and fascinating toys.

A Strange Ship on the Horizon

What with one thing and another three years pass, a Javid puzzle eventually lead to an AO3 account-- which to me definitively opened Schrodinger's box: maybe this was a member of the production playing with fire, more likely it was a clever fan whose brain is fucking fascinating, but it most definitely was not David Jenkins.

But. Javid was still in incognito. And I still don't know if I had been perceived.

I read the fic the Javid account is writing (which is still a work in progress and pretty great ngl)-- it's a fandom AU, where Ed and Stede are fans of a gay pirate romcom called Blow the Man Down, featuring Sam Bellamy and Olivier Levasseur. The showrunner is named Javid, who doesn't have social media but gets cornered into agreeing to join twitter (rather than our universe's tumblr). And Ed decides, on a lark, to start a fake twitter account, tag it #definitelynotjaviddenkins... and then freak out because a large contingent of fandom shows up on his metaphorical doorstep saying HELLO, JAVID.

As if this weren't enough: beyond the fic itself, suddenly a whole multimedia alternate universe suddenly appeared, with multiple twitter and AO3 accounts beyond just Stede and Ed, forming an entire fucking fandom, Goncharov-style, around Blow the Man Down. It was and continues to be fucking wild. It's also amazing. And the porn is surprisingly approachable. (BUT SEE AGAIN FOOTNOTE 1)

Grappling Hooks Breaching the Parasocial Divide

The thing is, though. The thing. That is.

I have officially reached Level 2 Curtain Clawing.

As I read the fic and the accompanying universe, I started to. Notice things.

References to soap (but... but surely that's normal. Many people talk about soap, not just amateur history enthusiasts like myself).

References to obscure scents (LABDANUM. Someone referenced labda-motherfucking-num. But surely. Surely it is not an entirely unheard of thing; I am not the first person to discover it or the fact that it gets combed from goats jesus christ the goat thing I forgot about that--)

References to the drilled coin from the wreck of Sam Bellamy's ship, which appeared as a random bit of possible future lore for Javid in this bit of enrichment (but I put in lots of possible lore! I had a whole thing going about figureheads! Bad luck to kill a seabird! I had a whole thing for a while where I thought maybe the digraph code Javid was hinting at was actually a Playfair cipher! I have been wrong many times before and added lots of random possible narratives. SO SURELY THE COIN IS A COINCIDENCE).

References to... okay not really references, and I've never articulated it quite like this (though this is definitely my vibe), but references to the idea of these puzzles and enrichment being a conversation in and of themselves, held at a remove and existing entirely in call (Javid) and response (the audience).

Finally... I started to notice that Stede decodes/interprets Ed-as-Javid's puzzles in a long twitter thread (like... like the one linked above) but also... sends back puzzles. Like, well, me.

"But STILL," I screech from the top of the curtain rail. "This could ALL BE COINCIDENCE," I yowl as friends and family try to bat me down with a broom. Even, by god, today's drop... which uses a password-protected url shortener. The exact same one I used in an earlier enrichment. But! It's not like there are a lot of those! Maybe this was just the first one that cropped up for Javid, just as it was the first that cropped up for me! (BUT THEN AGAIN, MAY I REFER YOU BACK TO FOOTNOTE 4)

The fic is at chapter 14. There are, if AO3 is to be believed, 7 more chapters to go, plus who knows how much additional extra-universe material. There is so. much. here.

...And so many more opportunities to climb all the curtains.

“It's a great huge game of chess that's being played—all over the world—if this is the world at all, you know.”

So at this point... what, in fact, is happening?

I'm inside a Schrodinger's box whose sides are entirely composed of parasocial uncertainty.

Maybe Javid is here. (HELLO, JAVID.)

Maybe he isn't! (HELLO, THE MIRROR IN MY ENCLOSURE.)

Maybe I'm not actually being referenced at all, but the writer of that twitter thead, @eefaevie, is (HI EEFAEVIE WHAT'S UP HOW'S THE PARASOCIAL AIR IN YOUR ENCLOSURE DOIN')

I don't know. I can't know. Unless someone opens the box.

and my god, what if they never do?

tl;dr. This is the most enriching fun I've had in months, and if the magic circle is going to widen to include me, then friend, I intend to BRING MY A-GAME.

---

FOOTNOTES

1. During the course of that mini-essay, I say the following:

"If it's someone who is not the dude but just a tumblrite who managed to catch on really quick? Well goddamn, good for them, and also A+ Wink-Nudge acrobatics. Real dude can have a peaceful time reading critical analyses of Goncharov, Javid here can quietly start introducing strange lore and running gags and other fun-with-plausible-deniability shenanigans".

One day later Javid starts answering questions about characters with enigmatic season 2 spoilery things; a little less than ten days later, we get the first fake link (which, imo, is the real start of the game).

2. This is now only 24 days after my "strange lore and fun with plausible deniability" post.

3. My dare: January 26. Javid's book code: February 4.

4. My tags on the post wherein I acknowledge that the dare has, possibly, been taken up, read: #you know what's cool? besides how #enrichment can go in BOTH enclosures #is how much you can do with html #like sure sure we've all seen the embedded links #but I remember the days of hidden source code messages #websites with delayed redirects #passwords hidden on one site to open the locked contents of another #you know #~normal things~ #I'm certain none of this will become relevant #because this is #definitely not a game

[noraqrosa]

i live in NYC and often when i have to take the subway i see poetry on the walls of the train cars, sometimes of the graffiti'd type (always a fun read), sometimes officially posted up by the MTA. today i saw a poem which i've seen before on the train, but only really started thinking about now.

"Everything" by Srikanth Reddy

looking up the poem, its author had this to say about it:

This poem is called "Everything." And I wrote it because I was thinking about the cliche that everybody has their love story waiting to happen because there's somebody walking out there in the world who's perfect for them and you just have to meet them and then the love story starts. And I was thinking, well, actually it might be that the real great love stories are when those two people never meet and don't have a chance to screw things up.

Source

one thing i think about often is the connections we all have between each other as people in the world. i firmly do believe that every action any person takes inherently affects every other person and their own actions, no matter how remote they may be from each other. before looking up the poem's authorial intent, my read on "Everything" was more of that mindset.

think about all of the connections you've made over the course of your lifetime. how many of them do you even remember? and how many of those connections who are still current in your life are a physical presence in your life?

and i know that you, dear reader, have connections in your life who aren't physically close to you--you're on Tumblr right now, of course you have at the very least acquaintances you've only met online.

we live in an unprecedented age where two people whose paths may have never crossed even once can still have direct influence on each other's lives on a personal level. the author of this poem was born in 1973; could you even have conceived of interacting with people all across the globe so casually as we do now had you been an alive, conscious being in the year 1973? with the exception of those with plentiful means, it'd have likely seemed like an impossibility.

but even still, it's not like you'll ever be able to meet everyone in the world. as the world carries on, so too does the proliferation of the people. so too does our lives.

there are people in my life who i am incredibly lucky to have met; in fact, all of my closest friends (honestly all of my friends period) are people i would've never met if not for being in highly specific niches on highly specific areas of the internet. and i think now about this poem and how lucky i am to have even had the chance to receive these people into my life. i'd genuinely be alone otherwise, likely rotting away from depression and other sundry mental illnesses in my parents' house in a state that was sucking my soul away. and, honestly, it's tragic to think that easily it could've gone that way anyway.

the author of the poem posits that the greatest love story of all is the kind that never starts, and thus can never end, and...well, that feels rather pessimistic, in a way. for the most part, i'm thankful for any friendships, relationships, and acquaintanceships, really any connections, i've had in my life, no matter how jubilant or horrific, no matter how momentous or inconsequential, no matter how beneficial or tragic. we are who we are largely because of those around us. the rest of the world shapes us just as we shape ourselves. the direct connections we have inform who we are relative to the rest of the world. and even the invisible connections that we can't see, hear, perceive in any way, they too affect our actions, beliefs, and station in the world.

for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. this is as true in physics as it is for people.

i do love this poem, but perhaps not for the reasons the author intends.

one line in particular that stands out to me in this poem: "When his name changed, she stitched a cloud to a quilt made of rags." what incredibly evocative imagery, the idea of affixing in a semi-permenent manner something ephemeral to something material! and the mention of a name change...it doesn't necessarily have to be so, but it feels incredibly queer to me. this line is probably gonna be rattling around in my head for a while, and i might make another post/reblog analyzing that one line further later once my thoughts fully settle on it.

anyway writing this analysis was a good way to spend the time it took me to go to my pharmacy to get my medicine lol

[ii-then]

Hey heey heeeey. Just checking in on this blog for any potential followers or lurkers wondering why there hasn't been any posts since last year. I didn't die lol. Have one cropped, extremely HD for no other reason that I forgot to export it in lower resolution, WoW art in the meantime while I explain why I dipped.

This blog started as a means for me to get back into art. I never intended to build any sort of following, big or small, so I didn't care about numbers etc. For years I had xkit installed and because of it, I never realised that people actually looked and interacted with the stuff I did. That isn't to say that I was ignorant, I saw that some posts got more notes than others but I just never realised at what scale since my dashboard was scrubbed from any sort of interraction. So in 2021 when I saw a notification in my inbox I was kinda like "wtf who would message me" and I opened the inbox and saw a load of inquiries about my posts from various people over a long span of time. It was honestly shocking and made me feel so bad that I'd let so many asks go ignored. I was fully unaware that people had been asking, and I still don't know how that one message got through. That's how the FAQ was born. But essentially what that realization did was make me very much aware of how people interracted with the posts I made and instead of just posting whatever I felt like, I started to curate and plan ahead of what I wanted to show. On top of the anxiety of posting things I thought people would like instead of just posting wHatEVER, the rise of AI, other hobbies taking priority, less free time in general, keeping up with the blog wasn't feasible for me anymore. And honestly, since I've started to draw again because it's fun without the unresonable feeling of "gotta have a banger on the blog because if I don't I'm a bad person" hanging over me, it's hard for me to come back. I just like drawing and enjoying it without the added pressure. And I'm very much aware that this blog doesn't have ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS so in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter that I abanodend ship. But I'm still a person who have a lot of thoughts and even leaving 50 followers without saying something would feel bad. I personally hate when people just dip online because I get worried about them and keep thinking about them years after. I felt it would be good for me personally just to write something out, even if it's just for my own peace of mind.

Take care ya'll! Maybe I'll see u here again but probably not

tl;dr performance gives me anxiety, me no post no more

[messiahzzz]

@envydemon i hope you don’t mind me making a separate post about this. the response is simply too long to coherently summarize all of it in the replies. if yes, let me know and i will remove your mention asap.

if we really want to get into definitions, then alright.

hostile originates from the latin word hostis (meaning enemy [of the state] before: stranger, foreigner.) synonyms listed are inimical (i.e. harmful, destructive), antagonistic, unfavorable, or unfriendly.

what i wrote in my original post was, quote:

“i see fandom heading in this really dangerous direction where people fully believe they have the right to attack others for pointing out the existence of false information. i understand that people are upset about wyll having less content than characters like astarion and i am in no way here to claim that you should refrain from calling out racism where it’s due. however, this hostile behavior directed at anyone who dares to disagree with you is creating a really toxic environment within online spaces, where people hesitate to engage with the wyll side of the fandom at all (out of fear of immediately receiving the racist card for merely correcting inconsistencies in logic).”

in no way did i claim that the wyll fandom in it’s entirety “is aggressive”. merely that there is a small, but vocal part of the fandom who exhibits hostile behavior when statistics (“correcting inconsistencies in logic”) are brought into the conversation.

wyll isn’t the only character who got sidelined without any fixes in sight either. i have already stated so in my og post. almost every single one of gale’s scenes, including some integral dialogue, have been bugged for months now, while feedback and reports get ignored entirely. [x]

now, let’s look into each of the companion quests:

the main npc in astarion’s quest is well… cazador. it’s pretty cut-and-dry, really. get into his lair, confront and then kill him. either through old-fashioned methods or by having astarion undergo the ritual himself. every interaction with him leads up to this moment where he will finally be free from his clutches.

main npcs in lae’zel’s quest include kith’rak voss, a knight in service of vlaakith, whose sole purpose is to ensure the return of his prince & make lae’zel see the extent of vlaakith’s manipulations and lies, make her realize how lae’zel’s blind faith in her will lead to her sure ruin. and orpheus, true ruler of the githyanky, intend to remove vlaakith from power at any cost. from the moment you meet lae’zel, vlaakith & her tyranny are the consistent themes that stretch throughout all interactions you have with her. everything leads up to her confronting vlaakith one way or another.

the main npc in gale’s quest is elminster, chosen of mystra. it centers around the acquisition of the annals of karsus and him confronting mystra at the stormshore tabernacle to ensure his closure. in the end, it’s really just a glorified fetch quest that takes less than a few minutes to complete, without even an option given to accompany him. he also doesn’t have to be in your party until you agree to meet at the stormshore tabernacle shrine, you can complete the entirety of the sorcerous sundries vault without him. mystra then tells him the true nature of the orb and he either has the option to agree to her demands or defy her and claim the power for himself. again, everything leads up to mystra. on that note: gale doesn’t constantly lament the abuse he suffered through mystra either. that is factually untrue. he continues to defend her until tav speaks some sense into him after elminster hands the charge into his care. even then the realization of the abuse he suffered is surface-level at best. while wyll already mentions that he has thought about exiting the pact he made with mizora many times, while still in act i. it’s one of the first conversations you have with him at camp.

main npcs in karlach’s quest are gortash and damon. she gets the option to kill the so-called paladins of tyr sent by zariel, the devil she’s enslaved to and the one responsible for her condition, while damon makes sure that she will at least survive long enough to kill the big bad at the end of the game. having her confront gortash, however? completely optional. i avoided that quest in my game entirely and didn’t suffer any consequences whatsoever. in fact, not even a word was mentioned about it, neither by him nor karlach. gortash being a “main enemy” doesn’t negate the fact that he is intrinsically linked to her backstory either. in fact, you have several options to kill your companions before their respective quests reach completion. gortash IS and remains karlach’s abuser. in the end, her story is solely about what she suffered through the arbitrary cruelty of both gortash and zariel, and the consequences she now has to live with. while we’re on the topic of consequences: you can simply ignore karlach during the entirety of the game and still receive the exact same ending. whether you only talk to her whenever necessary, ignore every one of her quests, not give her any infernal iron to keep her engine stable — she will consider your tav her best friend either way. she doesn’t leave your party, she doesn’t die, nor does she acknowledge it.

main npcs in shadowheart’s quest are viconia devir, loyal cleric of shar, and her parents. everything shadowheart does is to receive shar’s favor, the entire gauntlet is a tribute to her goddess and only centers shadowheart as a character in the last few minutes once they’ve reached the inner sanctum. and even then shar takes center stage yet again if she chooses to become a dark justiciar. yes, HER FAITH to shar, which is the sole product of the abuse and mind-manipulation she suffered through her. she later has the option to kill devir and rescue her parents in the process if she chooses to pursue selune’s path. her choice to either kill or free the nightsong is determined by her approval and tav’s influence on her. in that sense, saving her parents is solely dependent on tav’s choices as well, not hers.

main npcs in wyll’s quest are ulder ravengard and mizora. if wyll doesn’t pledge his soul to mizora to ensure his father’s survival, he has the option to launch a rescue mission and free his father from the iron throne prison. once at camp, ulder will tell them about the legend of ansur and how his aid will be able to turn the tides. when the lair has been found and true nature of the wyrrm has been uncovered, wyll can either decide to return to his father’s side or to take up the mantle once more, as the blade of avernus. again, the key themes of his story are: his heritage and ties to his father, as well as the pact and abuse he suffered through mizora.

the point of my original post wasn’t to claim that wyll “doesn’t deserve an improved story quest.” it is, as i have already stated at least 5 times by now, a mere overview of the total content he has. to show that he indeed isn’t the only character who gets systematically sidelined by larian.

quote:

“i’m not here to claim that wyll doesn’t deserve more extra content or that larian’s perspective of him isn’t rooted in racism in any way whatsoever. however, i sincerely believe that it’s always important to list the facts first before misinformation continues to spread which only results in more needless outrage. these are all of wyll’s scenes that exist in the game as of now:”

“to get further misunderstandings out of the way: this post really was intended to be a cut-and-dry scene tally of wyll's in-game content. meant to compare and inform people about the misinformation that i've seen the fandom spread, as well as to address the harassment i've seen within online spaces.” [x]

summed up: all companion’s quests can be fully completed without them being present in the party.

you can complete the entire crèche mission without lae’zel, even skip it entirely.

you can complete the sorcerous sundries vault without gale, and merely tell him about the annals of karsus later on.

you can defeat cazador without astarion ever setting foot into the place.

you can face viconia alone, as well as complete all of the trials of shar without shadowheart. the only downside being that she leaves the party afterward.

you can repeatedly talk to gortash without having karlach split even a hair of his.

you can uncover the secret of the wyrmway while wyll has a long heart-to-heart with his father at camp in the meantime.

no one in this game makes their own decisions. everything depends on the influence you, as the player, have on your companions. everything depends on your choices and the approval your character has with each respective companion. the only new addition being lae’zel with the recent patch 6.