#postal label

[chimericmacandcheese]

i love misusing postal labels

[rabidbatboy]

POSTAL DUDE 4 POSTAL DUDE: an amasui term for postal dude loving postal dude (from postal)

TAGGING: @radiomogai @amasuicola

🧼 ——— FLAG COINED BY ME

[kxllboii]

Me? Draw Killjoy Dude like the PIII box art?? Nahh, must be imagining things

I cant draw flowy trenchcoats for the life of me man

[maka-moved]

thinking about about postal 1 and what may have driven dude to go to such lengths.

at first, i believe he would've been acting out in self defense (or, at the very least, what he considers self defense). after all, in his mind, he was simply defending himself from a world full of people out to get him. however, i also think that at one point or another, dude just totally loses the plot. at some point, it's no longer about self defense or trying to get help, but rather cleansing the earth.

the change of "diary" to "war journal" reflects this shift in dude's mindset, revealing that he believes whatever is going on to be a war that he must win by any means necessary, regardless of the causalities. the lives of others, and even his own life to an extent, take second priority to exterminating the "infection" as he calls it. he likely realizes what he is doing is wrong as the events of the game continue, but he marches onward because seeing his mission through to the end is the only thing that matters to him anymore.

postal 1, to me, is about a man's journey into the depths of despair. however, i don't think his downward spiral began at the start of the game.

his eviction is what motivated him to finally take matters into his own hands, but the actual start of his descent into desperation began far before that point. his outlook on the world around him and his eviction tell the story of someone who's lost control, who's retreating further and further into isolation. it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that he had stopped showing up to his job, stopped talking to people, stopped going outside all together in the weeks or even months before the events of the first game.

postal dude's actions are not spontaneous. they are what happens when someone is left with no other perceived option than violence, the gruesome yet predictable outcome of cornering a starved and beaten hound. he had to have known what was coming. maybe he didn't quite know just how far he'd have to take things, but he knew that he'd have to kill, and he planned accordingly.

the tragedy of postal 1 stems from the simple fact that, from the very first second of the game, it was already too late.

[daddymymouthisfullofstars]

•

[dykecrawler]

im gonna have 2 lizards again in like. 24 hours

[sobekc]

organizing the shit out of my perfume spreadsheets to get them ready for my December break destash

[agirlandherkinks]

Hypnovisor: Beta Test (TGTF, Hypno)

James had always been a tech super-fan. The newest phone, newest headphones, shiniest laptop, he had to stay abreast of and on top of the current trends. So when he read about some fancy new VR company that wanted beta testers for a headset, provided for free (minus shipping), his vision blurred and he signed up before he even considered finishing reading the ad.

Three weeks of anticipation and waiting passed until his doorbell finally rung, accompanied by the corresponding buzz of an email notification on his phone. Scrambling from his couch he flung the apartment door open, and to his mild surprise saw that the postman was nowhere in site. There was just a nondescript cardboard box labelled "Fragile", which fortunately bore none of the expected dents and scratches one would associate with the postal service and delicate freight. Practically bouncing with undignified delight, James scooped his parcel up and dashed back inside, barely remembering to lock the door behind him.

The headset looked even better than he had imagined. Sleek plastic curves surrounded a central visor that was just translucent enough to see through, meaning you could walk around safely if you turned a program's opacity down. It fit beautifully when he tried it on, more comfortable than anything he'd ever worn. Wearing it felt wonderful and... right, somehow. His only complaint was that the black headset was decorated in hot pink highlights, although it still looked futuristic enough to sooth his fragile masculinity. His roommate and best friend Erik certainly agreed, interspersing James' insightful comments with appropriate "Ooh's" and "Aah's". Waiting for the battery to charge seemed to take a thousand years, although chatting with each other about what it could do replaced their boredom with swiftly growing excitement.

Two hours later, a soft buzz from the headset in the corner signified its charge was complete. Erik cheered, his sandy-blonde hair bouncing behind him, and even James couldn't suppress a soft whoop of excitement. Erik unplugged it and handed it to James with a flourish and a bow, who accepted it with a suitable stuffy speech. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but he was so giddy with anticipation he felt he could match Erik's goofiness for once. The advertisement had promised unmatched realism, a luxurious fit, and cutting-edge, groundbreaking technology. Normally James would have discounted claims like that as corporate claptrap, but the headset fit so well he actually believed the rest of it.

Booting up the headset brought a perky, relaxing jingle in his ears and wall of settings text in his vision. He would have read it, but between his own excitement and Erik's infectious enthusiasm he left the settings on default and skipped to the main menu. The feedback for the buttons was amazing, it felt just like he was pressing down on them whenever he touched one! Another little jingle sounded as he confirmed his choices, and a few games and applications bubbled up into his view, imposed over a hot pink background.

"So Erik, what do you think I should try," James asked. "We've got a music player, interior design app, some sorta idle monster game, and a few RPG's." "Surely try out the RPG's man! You've gotta see that high-definition you were yammering about when we called." Erik's voice came back surprisingly muffled, as if he was speaking down a long tunnel. "Bro, I can barely hear you, the noise-cancelling on this headset's insane! It's like I'm in a world of my own!" James took a deep breath, recovering a little of his composure. "Alright, an RPG it is. Fantasy, sci-fi, or modern day?" "Go fantasy! You know we've both got a thing for elf chiiiicks. Hell, with the kind of feedback you were telling me about, you might even get to grab her" Erik's distant voice sounded playful, with a ting of desire and jealousy. And it did make James hard, at the thought of getting to look and squeeze and fondle some busty elf bitch, made entirely to his wishes~

To James' horror a quiet moan escaped his lips, accompanied by faint hysterical laughter from his friend. Brushing it off angrily, he slammed the icon for 'Silverflame: A Magical Journey' (the button felt like thick moss to his touch). Instantly a soft flute begun to play in his ears, accompanied by the gentle lull of a harp and a quiet sparkling. James felt himself relax, all the tension draining out of his body. Erik must have noticed too, because James heard his laughter die down to be replaced with a slightly concerned silence. "Don't worry man," James said, "music's just really pretty..." He trailed off with a slight giggle, but heard Erik give an affirmative just before a silky, sultry voice started to speak.

"Welcome traveler, to the beautiful world of Silverflame. An untamed paradise where strange beasts roam the land, noble adventurers go forth in search of treasure, and the most wonderful magic [James shuddered] is woven. You are the latest brave, beautiful heroine [Heroine? Shouldn't I get to choose my character's gender first?] to step foot into this land. But first, tell us a bit about who you really are."

Pink sparkles rained across the screen, superimposing his view of a vibrant meadow with a series of stats. Physique, IQ, Wisdom, and Charisma, fairly standard stuff. And next to it, a human man with a blank, slightly happy expression on his face [...did he look familiar?]. James gasped, he looked just like a real person! Erik was suitably impressed by this information, and urged him to pick some stats so he can get to the body modification. "You can always change them later man, might as well pick a couple of stats now and get a move on. Sounds like you're not gonna get to pick your gender for a while, which kinda sucks. Buuut if we're being horny about this, you might as well go for a slut scaffold so you make less changes later." James chuckled at this, remembering the build they discussed one night while both sloshed beyond belief. For this game it would be high Physique and Charisma, low IQ and Wisdom. James touched the slider for Physique, and gasped as he felt himself feel... better than he had in a long time.

Not trusting his senses any more, and worrying about Erik being exposed to whatever was happening from the other side of the headset, James brushed off his concerned questions (which he could barely hear now, past the soothing, soothing, music) and suggested he went to the toilet, since he'd been holding it in since he got here. Erik grumbled at missing out, but mercifully left. James was actively sweating from what just went through his body, but couldn't muster the energy or concentration to feel the level of panic he knew he should be. The music was just so, so calming, that fear was harder to feel than usual. The prompt told him he still had to change two more stats, so he decided to turn down Wisdom. He gasped again and his vision went blurry, and when it cleared he felt a bit, fuzzier? In the head. But it wasn't too bad, in fact it was perfectly manageable. He felt even calmer now, so maybe changing another stats would make him feel better. Why not IQ? He tapped the slider.

He groaned as an immense pressure wrapped around his brain. Thoughts, aspirations, memories felt like they were melting from his head faster than they appeared. The pressure seemed like it lasted forever, but eventually it trailed off and he was left panting in his chair. It had felt, really good? Like, tots good, even. James giggled to himself. Something was different about him, but he couldn't think what. Oh well, it'll probably come to him later. He squealed in delight as he realized he could get a step closer to the body modification page, although he looked longingly at the IQ slider. He could come back to it later, for now it was time to make his super-hot elf slut a body!

James clapped to himself with delight as a cute little melody played, a shower of sparkles spiraled [spiraled...] across the screen, and the man on the side moved to the center of the screen. "Firstly", the sultry voice said, "choose what race you want to be." That was an easy choice. He clicked on the 'Elf' button, and shivered as he felt tingles run through his body, intensifying in his ears. Reaching up to touch them, he inhaled as he felt long, pointed tips. In fact, his whole body seemed a bit slimmer. This doesn't quite feel right... he thought. Oh I know! It must be making me an elf too! Maybe we'll be in a party together! Between the strange fuzziness and the pulsating heat in his groin, James quickly flicked to the next page and made his choices. Long, silver hair, gorgeous big purple eyes, and some giant perky lips. "Combination unlocked!" the narrator exclaimed, "+1 Charisma, -1 Wisdom!" James giggled again as the mental fog settled a little tighter around his brain and naughty thoughts about cute girls and boys filled his brain. Boys? Well I guess I've never minded swinging both ways... This felt natural to him, because of course he'd always been bisexual. Next screen!

"Choose your voice young heroine," the woman commanded. James felt a little strange, like her voice was echoing around his head. And why were the sparkles still there, spinning and spinning around the screen. He felt confused, but knew he had to obey that voice. He picked the sexiest combination for his own voice; high pitched, breathy, perky. "Combination unlocked! +1 Charisma, -1 Int." He moaned as that wonderful pressure wrapped his brain and his weekend plans changed to eyeing hunks at the beach. Girls were cool and all, but men had always been more interesting to him [and their pulsing, hard...].

"Now heroine, can you tell me: Are you a girl, or a boy?" The question sent shock waves through his brain. He was a he... right? Why did it feel like there was some longing, some need to acknowledge the woman in him... her? The fog, the music, the spirals, all the feelings he had been having, James could hardly think. Maybe he should think less. Being a girl sounded fun, it's just a character after all. And he needed to be sexy. "Wonderful choice young lady! Now, are you a dominatrix, a super-switch, or a bimbo slut?" Bimbo slut~ James giggled as the words echoed in her brain. She was a bit of a slut, now that she thought about it. It felt odd to pick it, but why not for funsies? "Bimbo slut selected! Wonderful choice, just wonderful. Hold still while your stats are adjusted, and then we'll begin on giving you the perfect, sexy body you've always wanted."

The spirals filled her view and began increasing in speed. James was taken aback at first, but quickly felt oddly calm and receptive to that sultry voice.

"Physique +1, Physique +1, Physique +1." James felt wonderful, like every ache and blemish in his body had faded away.

"Wisdom -1, Wisdom -1." Thinking was fuzzy, but Jamella felt so content she didn't care.

"Charisma +1, Charisma +1, Charisma +1, Charisma +1. Charisma +1." Jamella gasped as visions of sexy men, pecs and abs and juicy, throbbing cocks filled her mind. A desperate heat filled her, and she began touching her groin against her will to try and ease it.

"IQ -1." She moaned, feeling light.

"IQ-1." Empty. She was so, wonderfully empty.

"IQ -1." This was like, so much funsies! She didn't know what was going on, but everything felt so nice~

"IQ -1. Congratulations Ella, you now have the 'Bimbo Slut' build."

Ella giggled absently. Thinking was like, so hard, and she felt like, so hard~. The fun spirals had disappeared... But the nice lady was talking to her again! With great effort, she listened in. "Now that your mental changes are complete, it's time for the physical changes!" Ella rubbed her thighs together and cheered in excitement. She couldn't wait to have more fun! "Unless you choose so now, the process will be au-to-ma-tic [...why was she using such big words?]. You can choose to take over at any time, or wait until the end and adjust as you please [...please. That word felt funny in her brain]".

"No user input detected. Body adjustment commencing."

A nice shiver went through Ella's body as she felt her headset warm against her face. Looking at the boring young man she'd begun to customize (her reflection, of course), she couldn't wait to begin! She sighed happily as waves of pretty silver hair drifted into her view and cascaded down her back. It felt especially nice against her smooth, soft skin, and she couldn't help but gently shake her head to watch it sway. A cool feeling brought her attention to her face, and the alluring amethyst eyes now set in it. Her face itself became much more elegant [but cutesy, too!], and she puckered her lips as a lovely pressure made them swell and bulge out, giving her a sexy and kissable pout [the boys'll love this look! boys~]. She felt herself shrink a few centimeters, gulping as her Adam's apple disappeared into her body. In fact, her whole body had become even more slender, with narrow shoulders, adorably small hands [pretty purple nails!], and a tiny little waist. She gasped, then clasped her hands over her mouth in delight. Her voice was so high and cutesy! She couldn't stop herself from giving out tiny, high-pitched giggles, just to hear how cute she was!

"Basic body structure altered. Adjusting outfit in preparation for primary and secondary sexual characteristics."

Ella ooh'ed appreciatively as a stream of sparkles enveloped her body. And when they disappeared, she squealed in delight! Her drab t-shirt and denim shorts were gone! In their place was a beautiful silver mini-dress that shimmered like starlight when she moved. She frowned in vexation, though. The plunging chest and shoulder-less design was very pretty, but her chest was flat! [shouldn't I have tiddies? The boys won't like me like this...] And the way it clung to her waist and hips would have been sexy, but as it was there was barely any difference between them! Her ass wasn't nearly big enough to justify how the dress cut off barely past it, and with how tight the fabric was Ella could see how achingly hard she was [wait, why do I have a cock? I'm supposed to get cock! In my mouth, in my ass, in my tight little pussy~]. It wasn't right!

"Thank you for your patience sweetie. Optimal figure calculated. Prepare for adjustment of sexual characteristics."

Ella let out a moan as a wave of heat and pleasure washed over her. With how horny she was she could barely keep her eyes open, but she knew she wanted to watch herself become the sexy little [cum] slut she was meant to be [I want it... I want to be~]. The heat settled in her hips, her ass, and her chest, and she moaned again as the changes begun.

Her nipples grew first, more than doubling in size and stiffening through the soft fabric of her dress. Tentatively touching them induced a gasp of pleasure [so nice~] and sent her rocking backwards. The motion made her giggle, because in that time she'd grown a cute pair of B-cup breasts that jiggled when she rocked. Jiggle makes me giggle. I like giggling. I like jiggling. Ella nodded thoughtfully to herself, feeling very wise. Her boobies grew to C-cups. She jiggled some more. She giggled some more.

A tightness around her hips distracted Ella from her tiddies. They were growing! She groaned as fabric and flesh tightened around them, too euphoric to feel pain. Sliding her hands from her waist to her hips made her squeal happily. She had such a sexy hourglass figure, she knew any girl worth her money would be jealous [and the boys would wanna hold me and squeeze me and fuck me raw]. Thighs thickening dramatically in response to her growth, she slapped her ass in impatience. Why won't it get bigger already!

But get bigger it did, swelling out in response to her touch. She fell forward as sheer pleasure blanketed her mind and weakened her knees. Squishing her boobies against the ground made her feel even nicer, until she was panting and moaning for somebody to help, to hit her again and make her bigger~

A slap landed on her booty, and she groaned in delight as it and her thighs swelled again. More. More! I NEED MORE! She moaned in ecstasy as blow after blow landed, making her swell and grow and grow and swell and feel so gooooood! Her tits inflated to D, then E-cups [good for the boys. I can jiggle so well for them~]. Her hips widened and thighs thickened, until she looked ridiculously large compared to her waist [ridicu... ridic... really, really sexy...] And her ass kept growing, and growing, and growing and growing and growing and growing! Tighter! Around my cock! Cock... I... oh~ Too... too... much! Too much! I'm~ I'm!

OooOOoOoOOooOoOoooOOOOOHHH~

Ella screamed in delight as she came, just cumming and cumming and cumming her tiny little brain out.

"Wisdom -1. IQ -1. Charisma +1. Charisma +1."

She was desperate, humping against the ground as the flow of cum abated from her cock. Everything she had been was flowing out of her messy stupid brain, and everything that she should be was coming in. Boys... Cock... Need fuck... Breed~ I'm such a dumb little cum slut~ She giggled to herself.

"Final adjustment required."

Ella stood up shakily, the bottom of her dress a cum-soaked mess. She squealed with delight as the mental fog settled even tighter and she felt an intense heat in her groin. She could see the tops of nipples trying to break free from her dress, and could feel the air drift over her ass, which had mostly escaped the fabric in her growth. So sexy. Hehe~ Boy can take me~ Don't even need dress off~ Thinking hard... Her ass and hips had pulled up so much fabric that her cock was visible now, deflating and still leaking from her orgasm, but she gasped in pleasure as it began rising up again. And, as she felt something long and hard brush her booty [cock? Boys? Fuck?].

A pressure like hands on her shoulders forced her to her knees, and she whimpered in desire as she felt an unseen cock touch her cheek. At the same time, something began intensely stimulating her own. She reflexively opened her mouth in a moan, but was cut off as she felt the cock shove inside [Feels~ Feels!].

All thought stopped.

Her mind was blank, full of pleasure and desire and happiness. Her cock felt good like it never had before, and the dick in her mouth tasted wonderful~ This was what Ella was made for, what she was meant to be. Feeling good, feeling sexy, feeling a pleasant emptiness that could only be filled with cock. Her haze reached a crescendo. Dimly she was aware of her own cries of ecstasy, muffled by the cock fucking her mouth and mind, as she came harder than she even had before. And as she came, her dick shrunk with each spurt until it went inside her [inside me!]. The cock withdrew from her mouth, filling her with a desperate longing. Emma moaned for her unseen hero, then gasped as she felt him once more. And blinked in surprise as the pretty meadow and her sexy reflection disappeared.

She was kneeling on the floor of an unfamiliar room. Shaking off a little of her confusion [don't need know much anyways...], she gasped as the tell-tale smell of pre-cum filled her nose. There was a man standing in front of her!

Sandy-blonde hair. Body like a surfer hunk! Naked. With a massive, sexy cock, dripping with her saliva and it's own juices. Ella moaned in desire, falling on all fours. Visibly trembling with lust, he tenderly cupped her cheek and slowly moved behind her.

Touching her with his [cock!].

Ever so gently, on the edge of her [...pussy!!!!]

He rammed inside her, and she screamed as an absolute feeling of rightness, of sexiness and pleasure and single-minded happiness rushed through her [MORE! HARDER! COCKKKK~]. Riding his dick she felt herself go into a trance, with nothing, absolutely nothing, disturbing her feelings. Ever. This was right. Ella moaned and surrendered to herself, drifting away on her lover's cock and mindless pleasure.

[haleswallows]

A wee gift for @little-dreams-of-life based on a prompt from the HxH server. Thank you for the inspiration <3

Timothy Drake is home alone. The Drake Manor is big and quiet around him. He fills it with noise.

This isn’t new or exciting. Tim is home alone a lot. What is new is the crate a FedEx employee insisted on carrying inside when Tim answered the door. The guy asks for an adult to sign for the package, but Tim just stares at him. Tim signs for the thing.

There’s a worried glance tossed in his direction as the courier leaves. But Tim shrugs it off like all the others and closes the door, then does up the locks and security system like he was shown.

Tim is home alone and he goes back to his homework without a second thought to the crate. He fills the quiet house with his own noise. When he needs a break, he skateboards down the hallways. The skate park is better, and Tim thinks about checking the weather report to see if it’ll be nice enough to go after school tomorrow.

Tonight is supposed to be clear. Probably a good night for birdwatching.

He pauses at the top of the stairs, one foot on the floor and the other on the deck, idly kicking it forwards and back. There’s a school field trip soon. Tim won’t be going – there’s no one home to sign his permission slip. If anything, he realizes, it’d be a great day to spend at the park. Even though he really wants to go on the field trip too. There’s nothing to be done about it. He resolves to make the day as good as it can be despite the loneliness that sits like gargoyle on his chest.

The crate sits innocently in the Entrance Hall. Tim peers down at it from the top of the stairs. He purposefully lets his DCs slap loudly on the hardwood of the steps as he gallops down.

There’s no note on the outside. Tim crouches down to look it over, but most of the markings are just shipping labels like “FRAGILE” and “THIS WAY UP – DO NOT TURN”. He doesn’t recognize the consignor address. Last he knew, Jack and Janet Drake were in Cambodia and the crate is from Ireland. But he is familiar with his mother’s handwriting on the Customs manifest in the outside pouch, so at least he can assume it hasn’t been shipped to Drake Manor as a type of postal assault.

The top is nailed down and Tim thinks of the hammer in the groundskeeper’s shed. It takes him only moments to find, but takes almost an hour to prise it open. He’s sweating and annoyed when he finally slides the top off.

Anti-climatically, he’s greeted with packing peanuts. 

Rooting around in the offending Styrofoam unearths a folded note – also written in his mother’s hand. The note is definitely not addressed to Tim, so he sets it aside then continues digging. Tim slowly unearths his parents’ newest relic collectibles, like his very own archeological dig. It’s all the same-old-same-old, old stuff and whatever his parents think is worthy of purchasing. Ceremonial relics, cultural artifacts, ceramic vases and bowls and small votives. There’s one odd wood carving that looks like something he’d have to make in art class.

Nestled in the bottom of a crate is a small wooden box, polished to a gleaming deep brown. The brass hardware stands out against the dark burnish. Tim turns it over in his hands and admires it, appreciating the way it fits neatly in his palm. It’s quite high quality, even Tim can see that. But of course, the box is only an accessory to its contents. There was a fleeting consideration to shake it, but Tim stamped down on the urge. Afterall, whatever was inside was an antique, if not ancient.

Tim puzzles over the small metal figurine inside. The purple velvet lining makes the pewter look like silver. But Tim has no clue what the shape is or what it represents. He squints at it in the waning afternoon light of the hall. The pronged circle attached to a wide rectangle vaguely resembles an ancient depiction of a human, if humans had horns. Or maybe the circle is a torso and the prongs artistic rendition of limbs? The prong is flared, almost like it has a crown.

There's a leather throng looped through the head. Tim thinks it's ugly and wonders what type of person would wear it. Sometimes Mother wore the ancient jewelry they collected, but this wasn't to her usual taste. Thus there must be something culturally important about it.

A mystery. Tim likes those. He likes solving things, he likes worrying his mind over pieces that don't fit until they do. Afterall, it's how he figured out Batman’s and both Robins’ identities and started birdwatching.

He pushes to his feet and jogs up the stairs. The computer in his dad's office has an internet connection. No one ever notices Tim using it. The housekeeper won't be around until tomorrow when he's at school. She won't suspect a thing as long as he turns it off and doesn't make a mess.

When he reaches the top of the stairs, Tim trips over his abandoned skateboard. In the moment between losing his balance and hitting the ground, Tim thinks “oh crap” and prepares mentally for impact. Tim is no stranger to the fickle ways of gravity. You don't learn to skateboard without becoming the proud owner of scars and bruises. Tim automatically outstretches his hands to catch his fall

The strange pendant, still clutched in his hand, catches the soft meaty flesh of his palm. Tim hisses in pain, knee smarting. Gathers himself to sit cross legged and kicks the skateboard, annoyed at himself. He carefully uncurls his fingers, then gulps at the large gash on his hand. 

Oh god, Tim thinks while blinking at the deep cut. That definitely needs stitches. Oh shit, who can he call to get stitches? Who can take him? Tim glances around himself as if expecting someone to appear, to come running at the sound of his fall, to coo over his cut. 

A cold feeling fills his belly. Stupid. Tim knows there's no one there to help. But still he looked. Stupid.

Blood drips onto his jeans. He needs to get up, find a first aid kit. Skating is going to suck like this. He blinks back tears.

The light in the hallways shifts, darkens. It's getting late. He really needs to get up. With a sigh, Tim scolds himself then pushes to his feet, hurt hand cradled to his chest. But as he stands, the light continues to ebb away, darkness swirling around him. Tim freezes. The air pressure shifts and Tim shivers in the sudden chill.

“I am Fright Knight, Lord of Fear and the Spirit of All Hallows's Eve. Who dares summon me?” a voice rumbles, echoes, rings through the hallways, deep and haughty. Tim whirls towards it, hands halfway to covering his ears.

And nearly trips again on his skateboard. A man in a pure black suit of armor, glowing a menacing green, floats half a foot over the ground. Tim can't see the man's face as he towers over him, but the green glowing eyes bore into him.

“Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?” Tim snaps. Ok, dumb move probably. But what else is Tim going to do? He's twelve and home alone.

The suit of armor tilts its head. Oh right, duh, Tim. It answered that.

“Right, Fright Knight, summoned. Was it this?” He shows the knight his hand and thoroughly bloodied pendant. They both stare at his hand. A quiet plip-plip of blood dripping onto the floor accentuates the quiet.

“Where are your guardians?”

“Not home.” Tim isn’t an idiot. He knows better than to tell people his parents are out of the country. Or that he’s home alone.

“When will they return home?”

Tim stares at the floating suit of armor for a long time. There’s an impression it is squinting at him. He shrugs.

Plip-plip goes his hand.

(Remainder of the fic on ao3!)

[todaysbat]

California now has an official state bat: the Pallid Bat (Antrozous pallidus).

image description: a US postal stamp featuring a photo of a reddish orange bat with cream underside. The stamp is labelled "Pallid Bat" in green. Additional text reads "USA 37" in green and blue. Image source: National Postal Museum, The Smithsonian

Pallid bats are very cool, they're immune to scorpion venom after all, but there are literally two different species of bat found in California with California in their name that I would have expected to be named state bat before the Pallid bat.

California myotis (Myotis californicus) image description: a brown bat with black wings and a very mousey face roosting under a roof Image source: the high fin sperm whale, via wikipedia

California leaf-nosed bat (Macrotus californicus) image description: a grey bat with triangular flap of skin or leaf sticking up from its now. It is being held in a researcher's hand. image source: US Fish and Wildlife Service via wikipedia

[chimericmacandcheese]

bnuuy

[realdirtfacts]

Selling your merch and shipping from home with Fourthwall

I've been selling @shiftythrifting Junk Boxes - our curated secondhand mystery boxes - since 2017 using different platforms with different levels of success. I moved to Fourthwall in 2022 and my teeny tiny business has only grown since then! FW is free to use and you get ALL the money from your home sales save for the credit card processing fees. I don't miss the fee structure from our previous hosts, so I thought I'd write up a little guide on how easy it is to get started.

Things you need to start shipping from home:

A scale, and it doesn't need to be an expensive or large one! Even a kitchen scale works for small stuff.

Packaging and packing materials for the product(s) you're selling.

Access to a post office and/or a printer.

Funds set aside for postage. You'll get this money back with your Fourthwall payout when the month rolls over.

(Optional but handy) A ShipStation account.

Make yourself a store if you haven't already. You can sell print on demand, digital stuff, and your own inventory in one place but today we're talking about selling from home, so add a product and pick the middle option.

You can customize everything about your product on this page, from adding size and color variations, the materials used to make it, size charts, inventory, and more. Get an accurate weight of what you're selling in its packaging and add that here. Hit save and you have your first listing. Gonna be selling a variety of products? You can duplicate the listing with the meatball menu! Change the name, photos, and anything else that needs changing and have your second listing up in a couple minutes.

Didi protip: I like to put people's reviews right in the listing. Lots of photos help sell your product, but there's nothing like a positive review from fans!

Fourthwall's Collections feature lets me put my Junk Boxes in their own little section where I can set them to hidden or mark them sold out if I get sick or am on vacation. This lets me easily turn the self-fulfilled part of my store off while folks can still purchase print on demand and digital stuff and sign up for memberships.

Didi protip: If you are in the US, the US postal service will pick up your outgoing packages free of charge on any regular mail day. Just set up a pickup on USPS.com!

When you've made your first sale, you can either make the label yourself or connect directly to ShipStation through Fourthwall's app integration. That's brand new and I love it so far. My labels pop up in ShipStation about 24 hours after a purchase, giving people a little window of time to adjust their order or make changes before I ship it.

At that point, all that's left is handing it off to the postal carrier of your choice! Boom, you're done!

A final note from me, I moved ShopShifty to Fourthwall so I could have one address for ALL my merch instead of splitting it between Patreon, a print-on-demand store, and the Junk Box store. It's proven to be the best choice I've made in years and has saved me a ton of money in marketplace fees, Paypal's cut, and web hosting charges. This has genuinely been the easiest way to sell my merch!

[corrodedcoffinfest]

Week One: Masterlist

I'm so happy with the turn out from week one! You all did so great, and I appreciate your participation so much! This week, we covered 6 prompts and there were 59 total entries: 56 Fics Written, 2 Pieces of Art & 1 Other Works submitted.

Color-Coded Ratings Key: General, Teen, Mature, Explicit.

Day One: Firsts

Fic Submissions:

JULY 1: firsts by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: T | WC: 870 | CW: Strong language, Eddie’s eternal insecurities, Gareth’s eternally brash personality | Tags: Corroded Coffin first and seconds by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: alcohol mention | Tags: i would die for gareth emerson, i don't think you understand, bisexual king gareth emerson

Scout's Honor by @thisapplepielife | Rating: E | WC: 1000 | CW: Sex Acts, Language | POV: Goodie (Freak) | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Newly Gotten Together Steddie, Semi-Public Sexual Acts, Touch Me While Your Bros Play Grand Theft Auto Super Nintendo, The Boys of Corroded Coffin Are Tired of Eddie's Horny Bullshit Full Throttle by @thisapplepielife | Rating: E | WC: 1000 | CW: Sex Acts, Bit of Exhibitionist Kink, Language | POV: Steve | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Newly Gotten Together Steddie, Semi-Public Sexual Acts, Touch Me While Your Bros Play Grand Theft Auto Super Nintendo, The Boys of Corroded Coffin Are Tired of Eddie's Horny Bullshit

The Guitar by @xzerosparrowx | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: Use of homophobic language/slurs | POV: Eddie | Tags: How Eddie Munson got his first guitar, Wayne Munson is Eddie's Dad, Allen Munson, First Christmas, Christmas special. Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 1 - Firsts by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 669 | Tags: Friendship, angst, mentions of FOI, Freak #3 is named Dave in my universe. JULY 1: firsts by @blueywrites | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: language, drinking, references to foi Breaking The Law by @dreamwatch | Rating: T | WC: 999 | CW: None | POV: Eddie | Tags: school shenanigans, Eddie is a little shit, first band name + first gig, two for the price of one!

Give It All We've Got (First time getting booed offstage) by @rip-quizilla| Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: None Day 1: Firsts by @munson-blurbs | Rating: G | WC: 883 | CW: brief mention of financial hardships | Tags: Eddie Munson, Wayne Munson, first concert Untitled by @br0ck-eddie | Rating: T | WC: 331 | CW: just a bit of angst with a happy ending

day 01: firsts by @hawkinsmafia | Rating: G | WC: 824 | CW: one use of the f-slur, unsanitary postal practices

Welcome Home by @corroded-hellfire | Rating: G | WC: 731 | CW: None

Corroded Coffin Fest Day One First - Rehearsal by @emesis-nemisis | Rating: T | WC: 998 | CW: Language, fighting, boys being incredibly nerdy, author taking creative liberties and making Eddie a year or two younger for the sake of this making sense (Its their first rehearsal before the Hawkins Middle talent show he gushed to Chrissy about.), Dialogue heavy. Featuring: Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Frankie.

Art Submissions:

Corroded Coffin Fest Day #1: “Firsts” by @luciferssworld | The boys first summer together as high schoolers. Facing the 'freaks' label head-on, but stronger together

Day Two: In the Beginning Fic Submissions:

The Meeting of the Fellowship by @xzerosparrowx | Rating: T | WC: 768 | CW: Fat shaming and bullying. | POV: Gareth | Tags: How the fellowship met, Corroded Coffin in middle school, Eddie's first day at Hawkins, Tommy Hagan is a bully.

and on the first day, god said let them have a drummer by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 556 | CW: language | Tags: gareth introduction to the band, they are all idiots, that's the common theme with all of these

JULY 2: in the beginning by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: T | WC: 785 | CW: Strong language, allusions to drug use | Tags: Corroded Coffin; Jeff, Eddie Munson, Grant, Gareth and Jay - the first (but not the best) drummer of Corroded Coffin

Bandmates Wanted by @thisapplepielife | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: None | POV: Jeff | Pairing: None | Tags: Forming Corroded Coffin, Meeting Each Other, Shoutout to Mr. Clarke For Supporting Kids and Their Dreams

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 2 - In the Beginning by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 935 | Tags: Friendship, mentions of FOI, Freak #3 is named Dave in my universe

Four Chords And A Dream by @dreamwatch | Rating: T | WC: 999 | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Tags: Good Uncle Wayne, Eddie's other guitar origin story

Day 2: In the Beginning by @munson-blurbs | Rating: T | WC: 621 | CW: mentioned parental neglect, insecurities related to parenthood | Tags: Eddie Munson, Elizabeth Munson, Al Munson, baby Eddie

Contemplating Coffin by @corroded-hellfire | Rating: T | WC: 731 | CW: Language, weed

Day Three: Best Friends Fic Submissions:

you're my best friend by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 531 | CW: arguing between friends | Tags: mild angst with a happy ending, side steddie, gareth and eddie are bffs 4 lyf

JULY 3: best friends by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: T | WC: 746 | CW: Strong language, Jeff being a literal angel, Eddie and Gareth being feral goblins | Tags: Corroded Coffin; Jeff, Eddie Munson, Grant, Gareth

Do You Play? by @thisapplepielife | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: Language | POV: Goodie (Freak) | Pairing: None | Tags: Making New Friends, Playing D&D

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 3 - Best Friends by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 941 | Tags: Friendship, jealousy, tiny bit of angst, mentions of FOI, tiny bit of Jeff backstory, Freak #3 is named Dave in my universe, special appearance of the freshman

To Gareth, From Ronnie by @rip-quizilla | Rating: T | WC: 442 | CW: None | Tags: Ronnie writes a letter to Gareth detailing the truth about being Eddie Munson's best friend.

Day 3: Best Friends by @munson-blurbs | Rating: M | WC: 756 | CW: canon-compliant, bullying, violence | Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth, Grant, Jeff, Jason Carver, Andy, Patrick McKinney, Lucas Sinclair, Gareth's POV, canon dialogue used throughout

Best Buds by @corroded-hellfire | Rating: G | WC: 893 | CW: Language | Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

day 03 : best friends by @hawkinsmafia | Rating: G | WC: 541 | CW: one use of the f-slur (directed at self) | Pairing: Gareth Emerson x oc Fox Buckley

Day Four: Eddie Fic Submissions:

a goddamn rockstar by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 912 | CW: language | Tags: side steddie, robin is also here, kinda just feels right to have these 6, new spicy 6 just dropped i guess

JULY 4: eddie by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: M | WC: 712 | CW: Strong language, Upside Down, Kas!Eddie, teeny bit of angst but definitely some comfort at the end.  Also, don’t come at me - I don’t know guitar chords like they do | Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth Emerson, Jeff, Grant, Vecna, Corroded Coffin

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 4 - Eddie by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 990 | Tags: A tiny bit of angst, protective Eddie, probably bad representation of playing guitar--I don't know much music lingo

Who's Counting? by @thisapplepielife | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Future Fic, Famous Corroded Coffin, Older Steddie, Exes to Lovers, Let's Try This Again, One More Time

Echoes and Silence, Patience and Grace by @dreamwatch | Rating: T | WC: 997 | CW: mention of abusive parent, mention of death of a parent, language | POV: Eddie | Tags: Angst with a happy ending, rock star Eddie Munson, Introspective Eddie Munson, character study

Untitled by @br0ck-eddie | Rating: T | WC: 469 | CW: some post S4 Pairing: None (maybe steddie if you really squint)

Day 4: Eddie by @munson-blurbs | Rating: T | WC: 619 | CW: bullying, brief violence | Tags: Eddie Munson, Jason Carver, Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, Hawkins High 1985

A Court of Eddie's Reactions by @corroded-hellfire | Rating: G | WC: 994 | CW: Language | Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Other Submissions:

Eddie Munson: Fluff Alphabet by @hawkinsmafia | Other Type: Character Alphabet | Rating: G | CW: two minor, non-graphic mentions of sex; one brief mention of recreational marijuana use | Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (no assumed gender)

Day Five: On the Road Again Fic Submissions:

On the Road Again - Rockstar!Eddie Munson x GN!reader by @strawberrysodaslut | Rating: G | WC: 700 | Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x GN!reader | Tags: SFW, fluff, no use of Y/N, established relationship no descriptors for reader, sleep troubles, slight mentions of nausea and vomit as well as mentions of the standard toilet system in tour buses, in my writing world the bunks are big enough to fit you and eddie no matter what!

maybe forever by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 689 | CW: none | Tags: bisexual gareth, good friend eddie munson, future fic, super famous corroded coffin

JULY 5: on the road again by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: T | WC: 989 | CW: Strong language, mentions of alcohol, poor attempts at witty banter | Tags: Corroded Coffin

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 5 - On the Road Again by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 993 | Tags: Angst, some swearing, coming of age friendship fluffiness

I'm Done by @thisapplepielife | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: Language, Non-Sexual Biting | POV: Gareth | Pairing: None | Tags: Struggling Corroded Coffin, Van Tour, Fighting, Goodie Likes to Torment Gareth, It's His Favorite Hobby

Untitled by @br0ck-eddie | Rating: T | WC: 325 | CW: None Pairing: None

Day 5: On the Road Again by @munson-blurbs | Rating: T | WC: 835 | CW: slight Eddie x Steve | Pairing: Steddie if you squint | Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth, Jeff, Grant, Steve Harrington

Get in the Van by @dreamwatch | Rating: T | WC: 999 | CW: chronic pain, language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: None | Tags: band struggles, touring in a van, author is not American, geographic inacuracies (probably)

Goin' Places That I've Never Been by @corroded-hellfire | Rating: G | WC: 994 | CW: None | Pairing: None | Tags: Wayne joins the band on the road for a couple of days

Art Submissions:

Corroded Coffin Fest Day: 5 “On The Road Again” by @luciferssworld | Eddie's wild driving has the band soaring through their tour from small-town gigs to big city stages, they're ready to take on the world.

Day Six: Heard It In a Love Song Fic Submissions:

does he always do this? by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: M | WC: 995 | CW: mentions of sex | Tags: everyone loves steve, but eddie loves steve like a love song, steddie, corroded coffin friendship

JULY 6: Heard it in a love song by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: T | WC: 314 | CW: Strong language, angst, self-doubt, Grant’s just not sure about much right now | Tags: Grant (Freak)

Love at first sight by @medusapelagia | Rating: T | WC: 997 | CW: None | Pairing: Steve/Eddie

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 6 - Heard It In a Love Song by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 979 | Pairing: Dave/Tina, briefly alluded Eddie/OC | Tags: Unrequited Feelings, Confessions, Mutual Pining, Song Fic

The First, and the Last by @thisapplepielife | Rating: T | WC: 1000 | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Older Steddie, Everlasting Love, Getting Married

Day 6: Heard It In a Love Song by @munson-blurbs | Rating: T | WC: 615 | CW: unrequited love, angst, fem!Reader | Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader | Tags: Eddie Munson, Reader, Steve Harrington, Corroded Coffin, wedding

Take the Chance by @corroded-hellfire | Rating: G | WC: 994 | CW: None | Pairing: Gareth x Barb | Tags: Gareth is nervous about talking to his crush, so the other guys help him out

July 6th: I heard it in a love song by @lilmissdoomandgloomfics | Rating: T | WC: 921 | CW: None | Pairing: Eddie x Reader | Tags: on a hot summer evening Eddie’s trying to write a softer song for Corroded Coffins upcoming show

Untitled by @br0ck-eddie | Rating: T | WC: 401 | CW: None Pairing: Steddie

Big thank you to everyone who submitted for week one! I hope to see you again for week two! 🦇

[meruz]

hellooo, i saw your merch post and i was just wondering: when you sell your stuff online, how do you ship everything out? any tips or anything to make it easier? :>

hi another couple merch questions sorry. its all under the cut

when you sell your stuff online, how do you ship everything out? any tips or anything to make it easier?

man i feel like anyone can tell you this stuff im not really the best person at shipping and fulfillment but sure heres my tips

use pirateship or some other form of shipping software, it makes it easier to buy & generate shipping labels. and keep track of them. PLUS it can snag u a bit of a discount on stuff

if you find yourself frequently shipping varying weights and quantities of stuff invest in a postal scale so you can more accurately buy postage according to weight

if you find yourself frequently shipping a large quantities of orders invest in a thermal label printer. i used to print the labels at work, cut them out and tape them to the packages but now my job wont let me use the printer so the thermal label printer has been a rly good replacement - and youre printing on sticker labels so it's a lot less effort LOL!

only ship domestically. international orders are a pain... international customers are very nice... but it rly is an added layer of difficulty so if youre starting out and especially if you live in the U.S. where the majority of online orders tend to come from i think its smart to leave that market for later.

live next to a post office and own a car. i havent managed to do either of these things but i imagine it makes things a lot easier.

idk...get comfortable with spreadsheets?

@west-haven YES. and for online orders it will be.. in... september probably..? sometime in the fall. honestly my job is supposed to ease up at the end of october so i wouldnt be surprised if it got pushed till then when i presumably have more free time IDK the point is I'm tabling at AnimeNYC at the end of August so if you're going to ANYC I'll have it there and then (indiscriminate amt of time) afterwards I'll put up the online store and that'll be like the last chance for the year to order stuff from me. Same goes for all the mgscon merch too. I only have the energy to do the online store like twice a year max so please look out for it when it goes up!!!! LOL...

[sug4rst1ckzz]

Random Lore Drop 1

“Cupids” are a subspecies of birdfolk that specifically have 3 forms: Human w/ minimal bird features, a Cherub-like creature that resembles their bird type, and full-avian. Much like the mythology, some actually do carry a bow and arrow while others don’t indulge in the study of love. If anything, they just do their own thing.

With Cotton Candy, she works in postal services and poetry writing (a personal hobby). She enjoys delivering love letters, chocolates, flowers, romantic items in her cherub form and doesn’t ask for a tip. The only time she uses a bow and arrow is when both parties of a relationship want such a thing. Yes, different types of arrows for a cupid’s bow exist. Just remember to look at the labeling before shooting!! 🕊️💌🌹

[beulf]

so ive only been wading in postal lore for like a couple weeks so maybe everyones already discussed this already, but i was looking at some promo material from 1997 and i got whiplash from realizing postal 1 dude is probably actually a teenager?? like either a high schooler or fresh out of high school???

even without the last image there ^, i was already thinking the language of the interviewee characters felt so "talking about a guy who just graduated", but then the fact that his canon gf is a 17 yo high schooler is like, he must be around the same age??

ive always been a little confused about why he looks like a teenager in the box art photo, but decidedly Not a teenager in all other iterations, including most art for postal 1

but thinking about all this in relation to how his voice lines are labelled as Demon, im thinking that the concept for postal 1 was always that hes a fucked up teenager whos hearing a scary voice that is Not him, but for whatever reason after shipping the game and some time passing they were just like yeah nevermind hes just an adult guy