#post so wordy you have to bring out the Proper Grammar as to not confuse the mooties | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ccatgiri · 8 months ago

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Not to mix together two hyperfixations of mine that have literally nothing to do with one another but to me Sparrow is a very good character to analyze through the "without love, the truth cannot be seen" framework that Umineko presents. Your understanding of his actions and words is framed entirely by whether you feel love for his character or not, which might sound obvious but what I mean is that to understand his relationship with his children, especially Normal, it is necessary to keep the circumstances of Sparrow's own childhood in mind - only then can you see the full picture. This, however, implies a level of care and nuance that is probably only granted by those who already have an attachment to the character, and that's why some listeners have fallen into the belief that Sparrow didn't love Normal (at least, not as unconditionally as he could've) despite canon evidence pointing to the contrary. Without >taking the time to analyze Sparrow in-depth< (Love), >his real feelings for his children< (The Truth) cannot be seen.

And, ultimately, I think this is why Sparrow and Normal's relationship is unfixable from an in-universe perspective. Still (validly) stuck with the image of his father telling him he's not proud of him, Normal sees Sparrow's support of him as limited and conditional, which biases his perspective against him - in other words, Normal does not truly feel loved by him. In turn, and whether it's subconscious or not, this makes Normal perpetuate the vicious cycle by being unable to view his father through a lens of Love due to his resentment. He interprets Sparrow's words and actions in unfavorable manners because he, himself, is depriving them of nuance and context. Because of this, he will never be able to reach The Truth.

Umineko also proposes the idea that if someone believes in a lie too fervently, it stops being a lie and becomes The Truth. Sparrow and Normal cannot find connection because they now fundamentally exist in two different realities, each one with a different Truth. And The Truth for Normal now is, unfortunately, that it took risking his life multiple times and losing people important to him for his father to be proud.

#is this anything #meta #character analysis #dndads #normal oak #sparrow oak-garcia #sparrow oak #this is genuinely less of a dndads analysis and more me just admiring the framework umineko provided me to understand human relationships #as a neurodivergent who is very very bad at it #i feel like i kinda worded this as a pity party for sparrow but know i believe normal is 100% valid in feeling how he feels #posts that are made for me only bc the intersection between dndads fans and umi fans is literally Just Me probably #post so wordy you have to bring out the Proper Grammar as to not confuse the mooties

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thranduiliens · 8 years ago

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A REVIEW FOR -- crossedswordsrp

It's the year of 1641 and the city of Paris shudders upon the brink of revelation or destruction. It is a powder keg waiting to explode - and only time will tell who will be left standing once that fuse finally burns down to light. All it might take is a single -- - spark.

Please note that these critiques are meant to help and not insult. It was never my intention to be rude. Ultimately, it is still up to you to follow my advice! You know your roleplay better. I’m just here to help. If you have read this, like/reblog the post. If you have any more questions, my ask is always open! The review can be found under the cut.

first impressions -- the url, theme, and overall look of the rp

I’m a sucker for urls that are clear and have no dashes because it makes tagging easier. And it gives the idea that it’s a period rp which, sure enough, is what it is when you look at the plot.

And I love this theme! I love how it’s not boxed in like so many rp themes I see nowadays. There’s just enough space occupied by your posts without it looking too cluttered. I also love how dark it is without it being unreadable or straining to the eye, and the colors compliment each other well. None of the colors clash, and it’s great that you chose one standout color. The font size is great, as well. Although I think the title on your header image could be a bit bigger, or in a different font that would fit the feel of the roleplay Try this --which would look cohesive with the header, in my opinion. Or this, if you want a font with no texture.

(I’m actually just being nit-picky here because I actually really love how the main page looks as it is)

the story itself -- the side as well as full plot and other things about the roleplay

The introduction is great. It’s good that you took the time to explain what inspired the roleplay. It also helps, I think, for people who may be new to joining period rps to get a sense of what to expect from your group. The fact that Hamilton is also great because a lot of people get excited when they see it come up. At the same time, you let applicants know that the roleplay is still your own, still original, which makes it less intimidating to apply.

The side plot only needs a teeny, tiny bit of editing, particularly in the first paragraph. Try this: “The year is 1641...” instead of “It’s the year of 1641...” It’s a period rp, so it’s best to set that tone and try to not use contractions without it being awkward. Also ‘of’ is a preposition that can be dismissed in this sentence. You don’t really need it there. As for the second paragraph, “powder keg” are two separate words, not one.

As for the full plot. Again, it’s intriguing, exciting and it reels people in and is just the perfect length for it to give enough ideas for anyone interested in applying without it being wordy or boring. The only improvement I would suggest is with grammar. I’ll strike out words that I think should be removed or changed, and any suggested changes will be bolded. Let’s start with the first paragraph:

“In 17th century Paris, beneath the brightness and romanticism, the decadence of the French court where kings and courtiers hold sway, underneath all of it, the true nature of the city dwells still.”

You’ve already started the paragraph with “beneath the brightness and romanticism...”. It would flow better without the added phrase of “underneath all of it”

Also, “...that glittering bauble of made and broken dreams“ I think it’s just a typo but it should be “...that glittering bauble of made of and broken dreams.

On to the third paragraph: There’s a point where it gets confusing and my attention is taken out of the plot for a bit because of the last few sentences. It’s written in a stuttering, stopping manner that can get distracting.

“... secret from the general populace and court by his councilors Rossignol and Jean Bourbon - Louis temperate enough to wait for an heir by Angeline before revealing the controversial match.“

The bolded part was where it became confusing. I don’t think there should be a dash there. A period would be less confusing--it completes the thought and brings the attention right to the next sentence. (Never underestimate the power of proper punctuation!). And I think you meant to say “Louis was temperate enough to wait...”

That’s all I can find, actually! This is such a great plot, honestly, I love it.

the laws and their enforcers -- otherwise known as the rules and admins

Ehhh... Not really too sure about including passwords in rules. While it does force people to read through them, it can also send the idea that you don’t trust your applicants to read the rules on their own accord. Take from that as you will. I don’t personally mind it but you know how Tumblr can be... sensitive, sometimes. Besides, the password placement makes sense. It’s important that people read the Activity section of the rules, anyway, so it’s not a deal-breaker at all.

You never come off as strict or unwelcoming, too, even if it’s just the rules page. You even put in just a little bit of extra effort to explain what god-modding, meta-gaming, etc are and give links to examples as well which will definitely be appreciated. Again, it’s quite welcoming to new applicants, and not just for those new to period rps but also new to rps in general. Your FAQs page is also concise and answered one of the first few things in my mind, which was LGBT+ rep. Bonus points for being welcoming to that!

the important pieces -- the characters

So many POC! I love this so much! You have a wide range of characters, all of whom have interesting bios. This is a great cast with a lot of potential for character growth while still establishing a past for players to shape the characters around.

the pretty pictures -- the graphics, sidebar, icons, etc.

Simple but beautiful. The graphics do their job and all come together cohesively. No complains here. Everything looks good and fits the rp’s aesthetics.

This group is a breath of fresh air amidst many modern roleplays that limits characters to being high-schoolers or such. It offers a great opportunity for applicants to improve their writing and everything is just so well-made. The plot is intriguing, the characters are diverse, and the admins seem approachable. This is such a great group and I hope it flourishes and that many people join! Good luck with everything!

#rph #rpc #rp review #rpcw #crossedswordsrp #review

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ber39james · 7 years ago

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What Were the Most Common Email Mistakes of 2017?

How’s your email game? Are people happy to correspond with you, or are they leaving you hanging?

The quality of your email communication can significantly impact how you’re perceived by others (especially in business). And though we all do our best to write like a boss, grammatical errors still creep in.

Fortunately we can learn from our own (and others’) mistakes. So as the year wraps up, let’s take a moment to reflect on the fifteen most common email mistakes made by Grammarly users in 2017 and find out what we can all do to step up our email game in 2018.

1Misspelled Words

Sometimes we make spelling mistakes because it’s difficult to type on tiny touchscreen keyboards. Other times we’re just not sure how a word is spelled.

Either way, misspelled words were by far the most common email error in 2017. Good thing Grammarly’s here to catch these pesky errors in your browser and on your iPhone.

2Repeated Words

The runner up for most common error? Repeated words.

I love watching movies, but going to the movie theater is very expensive. When I want to see a movie, I usually just rent one.

Things can get tedious when you use the same words over and over and over. . . Energize your writing by employing synonyms instead of the same word repeatedly.

Struggling to think of an alternative word? Do a quick thesaurus search for inspiration!

3Vague Words

No one enjoys a bland meal—or bland writing. Spice up your writing by avoiding bland, nonspecific words like:

Good

Nice

Awesome

Greatly

Even a simple change such as “We had a lovely meal” instead of “We had a nice meal” can make a big difference.

Use these nine easy tips to improve bland writing.

4Misspelled Names

Misspelling a place name can be embarrassing (it’s “Albuquerque” not “Albaquerque”).

Misspelling the name of a hiring manager or potential client can be horrifying (it’s “Kathryn” not “Katharine,” but you didn’t care enough to figure that out).

Always do your due diligence to make sure you have the correct spelling. And, just in case, here’s how to salvage your credibility after misspelling someone’s name.

5Not Capitalizing the First Word in a Sentence

We’ve grown so used to the informality of texting that it can be easy to forget most emails (especially for work communication) still require proper capitalization and punctuation.

You can grab a quick refresher on capitalization rules here.

6Passive Voice

Passive voice is grammatically correct but is stylistically frowned upon in formal #writing. #grammar pic.twitter.com/zB4n7lDuvs

— Grammarly (@Grammarly) December 21, 2015

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

In most situations, using the active voice in lieu of the passive voice will bring greater energy and clarity to your writing.

. . . But occasionally the passive voice is the more appropriate choice.

Not sure how to identify the passive voice or when it’s okay to use? Here’s everything you need to know about using the passive voice correctly.

7Missing Comma Before a Conjunction

Some of us overuse commas, and some don’t use them enough. Commas can greatly affect the meaning of a sentence, so mastering their use is a worthwhile skill.

Here’s a refresher on common rules of usage and how to use commas in complex sentences.

Some people have strong feelings about the Oxford comma and it’s not hard to see why. #punctuation pic.twitter.com/QCtAKA47l4

— Magoosh SAT & ACT (@MagooshSAT_ACT) November 4, 2017

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8Sentence Ends Without Punctuation

How the Internet killed the world’s most important #punctuation mark. Sigh… https://t.co/IZXnYj5QPe by @em_dash3 Fault of #socialmedia? @elainasaunt @styleguide @guardianstyle @econstyleguide @ProofreadJulia What’s your view? pic.twitter.com/k8xo1DvO5v

— Alison Benney (@ParisFitness) November 17, 2017

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

While a period (full stop) used in a text message can imply anger or harshness, this is not the case with email.

Keep your credibility (and make your meaning clear) by punctuating the end of your sentences. Period.

9Proper Noun Not Capitalized

Knowing which words to capitalize can be confusing! I’ve been a copywriter for several years and I still double check capitalization rules. Get clear on proper nouns and how to use them with this quick guide.

10Empty Phrase

Are your sentences full of hot air?

Phrases like “as a matter of fact,” “in a manner of speaking,” “clearly,” and “generally” may seem polished, but they’re unnecessary and end up cluttering your writing.

Streamline your writing by cutting out these thirty-one words and phrases you no longer need.

11Numerals Instead of Words

Did you know it’s not always appropriate to use a numeral (1, 15, 5,000)? Sometimes the correct route is to spell a number out (one, fifteen, five thousand).

Here’s a quick guide for when to spell numbers and when to use numerals.

12Unclear Antecedent

Sansa and her sister Arya often fought as children, which was difficult for her.

In the example sentence it’s unclear which sister found their quarrels difficult. Keep your writing crystal clear by clarifying which antecedent (Sansa or Arya) the pronoun (her) refers to.

Want to learn more? Check out the basics of antecedents here.

13Comma Splice

She forgot to use a conjunction, the sentence was incorrect.

A comma splice occurs when you join two independent clauses with a comma and no conjunction.

Here are some examples of common comma splices to watch out for, plus how to fix them.

14Missing Comma After Introductory Clause

As Joanna reviewed her Weekly Writing Update she realized her lack of comma use.

Unfortunately, this is often the top error listed in my Grammarly Writing Update each week. Don’t make the same mistakes as me. Learn how to properly use commas with introductory clauses.

15Wordiness

Is verbosity hurting your writing? Overly long sentences may confuse and bore your audience.

You can improve readability and clarity by streamlining your writing or breaking your mondo sentences into multiple sentences.

Check out these great tips for cleaning up your dirty writing, getting to the point in everything you write, and purging unnecessary words from your emails.