#post smthn. alas.

[hickeygender]

keep opening my docs, re reading the partial chapters i have written up, and closing my docs, ad infinitum. i want to finish and post ch 1 but like. that means i'll have to write it. sometimes i'll get on a roll when writing something only to stop at a certain point, but then jumping back in is akin to pulling teeth bc it feels like i've quite literally lost the plot and things have no flow, especially wrt to dialogue. hate and malice and agony and suffering on planet earth

[fellamarsh]

another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.

see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).

instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!

so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.

now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.

but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?

and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.

now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!

but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??

Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)

(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)

But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).

And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long

[accursedvoid]

I think I’d like ‘grey jedi’ more as a morality/order choice if it wasn’t called ‘grey JEDI’ and had its own cool separate name like Jedi & Sith have.

Cause otherwise it just feels too jedi adjacent/too attached to said order - when I’d rather my character(s) not be connected to either side of the sith/jedi and have an option for my grey to light jedi/siths that aren’t truly attached to their orders/starting to go rogue from them/don’t conform to them to like align with than just ‘light sider/dark sider’

That way ‘Grey jedi’ as a term could just be applied to jedi that aren’t ‘Temple Jedi’ or whatever which is what I usually think of when I hear that term (not a whole separate order as canon puts it)

[seventh-district]

wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!

[lycanthropthy]

not sure why rottmnt's trending, but im happy for us

[oysterie]

im going to start calling honeybees invasive idc anymore

[dolceterzo]

hiiiii i love your 31 days of ghost posts and pls don't take offense but wish you coul d make gifs or smthn more interresting than photosets feel like u would be great blog then. again no hate just like gifs better then photos if u can please thanks

screaming sdkfgjgn what kind of cackhanded ask is this. bro if i could make nice gifs i'd be making them - alas it's not a skill i've unlocked. there are literally a plethora of great gif makers for ghost, you don't need me! @demonlayercake - @ghuleh-recs - @sakuraspoke - @silverofthunder - @copias-juicebox - @hxcfairy - @preqvelle - @oldonemaster - @lilspacewolfie - @slavghoul - @cardi-c - @piratefoolery - @p1nkcanoe and I could go on! go forth, show them love!

edit: idk why half the blogs haven't linked, they're linked when i edit the post but not when i save it, hmmm

[jellazticious]

Upon seeing the pascal car post I got curious - what do you think the Pizza Tower (from ur AU) characters would like as their cars/motorcycles/etc? Just for fun lmfao

- 💎

Firstly, it's not au lol, it's just interpretation but thank you for the ask

Ahem

Peppino is loyal to his CRUSTY ASS vespa. He is not replacing it, that thing is on life support. Tho he can drive a car too if necessary

Noise defo owns every type of vehicle known to man with how rich his ass is, but alas

He doesn't know how to drive any of them, his ass doesn't have a license and he's banned from getting one. He just has his skateboard and jetpack for transport tho

Noisette 👏teleports 👏

I have no idea what Gustavo uses for transport oh gee. Can anyone help me on this one? I think he uses a deer or a bull. Man I'm so stumped you guys. If only there was a level in the game that can answer the question!

We all know Pepperman is a car jock. He probably owns like three identical cars from different companies, CUSTOM MADE. He used to have five identical cars but he crashed two of em. One for a performance art and the other because he thought it would be funny

Vigilante drives a truck and knows how to tame and ride a bunch of animals. He prefers the critters more, the truck is mostly for business reasons like produce delivery or smthn.

Fake Peppino uses his sheer fucking will to transport himself. Bro runs faster than Peppino in the boss fight, ain't no wayyyy

Pizzahead ALSO teleports but he crashes from the sky unlike Noisette who just spawns next to you. If not teleportation, he uses a fuck ass unicycle, Pizzaface or his own two legs to power walk without ceasing

Mr Stick uses anything but a vehicle cuz his ass is so Inspector Gadget. Okay maybe he also uses a car from the 80s

Gerome and John teleports

[lactosefreeapple]

Mostly ramble post feel free to skip, TW ED talk ig???

So turns out the "appetite suppressants" I bought where the wrong ones, I ordered the detox on accident, I ordered the appetite suppressant ones but they could take up to a month to get here, so not good. Slightly better news is I do kinda fit into my waist trainer, it’s not great but it’s smthn. And I’ll take the detox ones until the proper ones get here ig. Yaayyyyyyy disorder makes me spend money on it when I could be collecting dollssss wooooo

Also to get free shipping on it I finally decided to invest in a bonet, I have so many split ends it’s about dang time. (I have wavy hair if that matters)

Still feel like a pig bc my waist trainer is an xl and I like barely fit into it with a mostly empty stomach but alas.

Also the detox pills (and the appetite suppressant pills) should be taken with food apparently? So I’ll probably only be taking 1-2 a day, or at the very least at night with no food so I can tough out the side effects. The appetite one I have less worry about bc it like speeds up metabolism anyways sooooo yeah. I’ve heard good things about it so I hope at the very least the detox one will be good in the meantime. Anyways.

Im mostly stoked for the day I can wear the waist trainer when skating and exercising to get the maximum effect from it, but for now I’m a little too chubby saurrrr :(

At least every time I pick up the packages I have to ride my bike like ~1 mile to the pickup area, that’s lovely, burns cals at the very least, and the stuff I ordered should be in like 3 different packages. Only problem is my sprained knee but I convinced my parents that "bike riding will help rehabilitate my knee" it actually hurts like hell but I’m too fat to fully rest soooo

Anyways, that was long winded, toodles!

～🎀

[gardenngoddess]

Okay so, I bought the seasonal pass x3 for season of remembrance with intentions of giving it to my friend Rex but alas, he’s not fond of the cosmetics. Having said that, I now have one extra pass to give to someone and have decided to do a raffle for it.

Uhm, i guess just interact with this post to be entered with a comment saying you want it or smthn.

Ends thursday night, winner will be announced publicly and contacted via dms

[kmgkmg]

“almost included a lil text abt hosh accidentally adding joshua to a gc that he meant to add vernon and gyu to....hosh wouldve sent something like "so how long do yall wanna bet it's going to be until they're engaged" and joshua would wait for everyone to place their bets and then be like "well now you all owe me money since we just got engaged" *sends a pic of his hand and an engagement ring* BUT ALAS. i settled on a dating anniversary instead. just know in that universe, they would eventually get married (an extra little epilogue just for you anon)”

ynshie….marriage…..real…..(i explode into tiny little pieces) i actually screamed and nearly rolled off my bed when i read “well now you all owe me money since we just got engaged” like i prayed for times like these FR!!! (i dont think ill ever get over ynshie ever this extra epilogue will live in my brain thank you so so much 😭😭🫶🫶)

also THERE WAS A PLAYLIST BREAKDOWN?? actually dropping everything to read it all while listening to the playlist im so excited to read it rn tysm <33

(also i just noticed that u posted a ww fic??? omw to read it rn . angst will not stop me) (i will eat my words soon)

-⛺️

put my reply under the cut so our message won't be too long on the dashboard but 😗🫳*picks up the little pieces of u one by one that have exploded*

BUT YEAHHHHH!!!! there are so many lil headcanons abt this fic anonnie!!!!!!!!!! since u like the lil nuggets.. i'll shower u in some unused photos and their What Ifs!!

1...firework/sparkler pic: remember the tweet after cabin wars when joshua realized how cute reader looked when they were happy...yeah reader would've had that realization too on the 4th!!!!! joshua probably asked vernon to take the pic and he would post it on main being kinda fuckboyish but reader and joshua would (obliviously) be flirting in the comments. like get together alr 🙄 2...vernon/josh preoccupied on their phones: reader would send this pic to hoshi and be like "they've been trying to figure out how to load a tiktok compilation vid onto the tv for the kids...who's gna tell them that i hid the remote? 😝" reader just being chaotic since hoshi would b gone that day for personal reasons or smthn 3...joshua bed pic: I WAS SOOOOO TEMPTED TO USE THIS ONE! the thing is though it looks soooooo like Professionally taken, yknow? but it would've been vernon being a little cupid, texting reader like "we mentioned your name and suddenly bro is wide awake" LIKE LOOK HOW PRECIOUS HE LOOKS???? it could pass for him being infatuated w you and UGHHH yeah!!

4...mud masks: the camp has rewarded the counselors for taking care of the campers all summer! free spa day for all of them! except nobody told joshua and hoshi where the mud bath was and the spa was nature themed so um. when they saw a pool outside of the changing rooms with mud, they automatically thought that it must be the place w rejuvenating mud for the skin! yeah no...it's just an old pool that hasn't been cleaned. so they have actual dirty mud/clay on their face. reader and vernon come back from buying snacks like ??????? how are you so muddy when we didn't even tell you where to go??? and reader takes that pic of them just utterly shocked like !!!!!! wym that pool wasn't even a part of the spa?!!??!! 5...karaoke night: again, a counselors only type of event. they would go to the local pub and have fun (maybe drink, maybe not idk!) but you and hoshi would encourage joshua to sing and vernon to rap! joshua would go after you kept whining, he's a sucker for you, and ofc start singing sunday morning. reader would tweet the video and caption it like "living up to the username i see @/sundaymorning" 6...pfp: ok this one is the most nugget of nuggets but i was considering making this joshua's pfp/icon for reader and joshua's texts! it would b for after they're together! i was gna add a bit abt how he makes funny faces to cheer reader up. he made that face one day during one of your facetimes, so you screenshotted it and always look at his contact pic when you feel down!

if you did get the chance to check out the breakdown i would b soooo interested to know which song(s) u think fits the series the best!! i def have my own picks for the ones i listened to a lot and used the most 🤭

THE WONU FIC!!!!!!!! my friend is a wonu stan and i was texting her like... yeah almost done w the wonu angst.. and she was like WONWOO?? ANGST????? 🤲 it was soooo funny bcos she's v chill but she was eating up the little sections of the fic that i was sending her hehe

i also made two mbs on my other sb for the wonwoo fic: one based more on the vibes and one based on the aes! the one w wonwoo's face kinda flopped and i'm like 👁️ interesting... @ the followers on that blog

sorry for the late reply!! but hope u had a nice day <333

[moonstandardtime]

i wish i could. see. that would be pretty great i think

[housefreak]

tumblr should really grab hold of a wolf in white van quote that isnt why people cry at the movies or i did something terrible to his son once..

[matsumi101]

the urge to repeatedly slap the table as i scream whenever i see my comfort characters is strong right now

[steelycunt]

swerving sliding skidding into your inbox like no one else’s business to ask for 48 + 61 + 62 for the ask game !!!

(also i’m still mad at u about the post-prank fic even tho we haven’t even gotten anything from it yet. mad in advance, we’ll say xx)

hello my light my love...i wish i could come on here and defend the postprank fic but i cant! if it goes to plan, it really will be THAT bad :)

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

would love to say smthn cool like a pomegranate...but alas. probably like. a blueberry. i think i'd do well being baked into a muffin

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh man?? i could sit here doing this one forever. but what immediately comes to mind and what will always come to mind is the fleabag finale fleabag/hot priest exchange: "I love you." "It'll pass." like how would you even get off of the ground after that

62. seven characters you relate to?

seven?? oh shit! oh man! uh! remus lupin (i'm so very, very tired and id like some tea). erin quinn from derry girls (we're a similar brand of lame). david rose from schitts creek (we're a similar brand of dick). sorry to be a succession mutual but cousin greg (similar brand of confused and bewildered). jo from little women (christ can i hear myself? i fucking wish). paddington bear (i think we want the same lifestyle). any florence pugh character (i also like to frown a lot).

weird asks!

[junimain]

Ok to be honest I’ve been meaning to move away from the “aduckthief” label for a long while, people I know irl know that name and I’d really prefer to be anonymous. It’s pretty iconic to me and I still like it but I think I have to move away from it to save myself the stress of always wondering if someone I know irl is gonna find this blog.

Also I do want people who see me liking their posts to be able to connect the likes/asks/follows from my main to the reblogs on my side blogs. I really wish I could just swap which blog is my main but alas, tumblr does not allow that (unless it does? if you have any ideas for me lmk). All my side blogs follow the “junicane-[fandom acronym]” format of naming except the main sideblog which is just junicane, so I may switch this blogs name to junicane-main or junimain or smthn similar