#post smthn. alas.

[kenobihater]

keep opening my docs, re reading the partial chapters i have written up, and closing my docs, ad infinitum. i want to finish and post ch 1 but like. that means i'll have to write it. sometimes i'll get on a roll when writing something only to stop at a certain point, but then jumping back in is akin to pulling teeth bc it feels like i've quite literally lost the plot and things have no flow, especially wrt to dialogue. hate and malice and agony and suffering on planet earth

[fellamarsh]

another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.

see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).

instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!

so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.

now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.

but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?

and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.

now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!

but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??

Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)

(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)

But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).

And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long

[trainingdummyrabbit]

"not to ocpost-" please oc post (as long as you're ok with it) i would love to learn more about holly and chun-run!! (as long as you're ok with it!!)

! oh its absolutely ok, i love being enabled ^w^ kjfngdkjf um um. this is another Entire Thing(tm) that requires Exposition(tm) so um hope youre ready to read More Paragraphs !

the short answer is

the long answer is: i went 'hey i have two* ruina-era ocs, what if i put them next to each other for fun? haha they'd hate each other ^w^' ... 'Oh God They'd HATE Each Other.' so uh, the exposition.

Holly! You've Never Met Her Before. certainly not. ttttechnically. out of narrative, Holly was originally a branch of what Cocoa's character would have been when I was first developing her. in narrative, Holly is what would have happened if they'd never been picked up by LCorp. she's... an entirely different person, basically.

in essence, if you thought the other one was unstable, Oh Boy(tm). Holly is what happens when the city Actually gets the chance to sink its claws in. it's just this time, she was far, Far less quiet about it. girlies who completely fucking failed their stat check Again. there's only so much 'keep your head down and take it' you can really handle before you're just about ready to tear a bitch apart, and well. Well! anyway.

Holly is another angle of the Human/Monster/Object tangle, in where Cocoa's development hinges on the equivalent of trying to balance several spinning plates and Fucking Up Miserably, Holly has started hurling plates directly into the audience with intent. if you will.

humans are always talking some hot shit about how high and mighty they are, the "value" that comes with just being Human, and yet their entire lives are a horrible, animalistic dance of clawing each other to shreds while hiding behind ideas and roles they themselves put into play, like it's some stupid game. that harm is just an intrinsic part of the human nature. she can't fucking stand it.

essentially, she's an odd argument between the Human and Monster corners of the tangle. not only hates the binds that the city places on them of obligation, but also the ties of human emotion-- namely guilt and connection. that endless dance. she wants nothing more than to shed these ideals completely-- unfortunately, she still intrinsically and unconsciously clings onto them, afraid to let go. a human trying to claw its way out of humanity. it doesn't matter what it takes-- she's not letting this city take her first.

...and then there's Chun-Run.

we just don't know where chun-run came from. but she sure Is, and she's Immediately going to make it a Huge Fucking Problem. being aligned with the musicians of bremen, she has.. very normal views about art, and what it means to be Alive. she's the closest thing to a human time bomb i can think of, probably.

she doesn't have much of a character... honestly kind of intentionally? her entire being is solely rooted in the present, the What Is and the What Will Be. she strives to feel what the pianist's performance invoked that day-- through any means necessary. whatever happens to Her, to anything around her-- none of it matters. first and foremost, she is a conduit. it's all secondary to that singular experience.

horrifying. painful, disgusting. striking, poignant, pungent. it makes her sick to think about, but some part of her wishes she was closer to truly Feel it. its repulsive– but she Needs to hear it again. to witness, to experience. what is it– what was it? to grasp onto an ephemeral feeling she physically cannot understand– frustrating, frustrating. but she Needs to. to make the soul sing, cry out in reverence... to call it a Song is almost insulting.

so you have the worlds most unstable walking contradiction with absolutely no outlet and an unidentified fucking thing intent on wringing some undefineable meaning from the soul through physical violence.

so like, moth meet flame.

chun-run is pretty much Instantly infatuated with holly-- but for the Entire Wrong Reasons. it's pretty much "Yeah I Could Make Her Worse." all the way down, but expressed entirely through Murder. yknow, girl things. and holly, of course, fucking hates this are you for real right now??? shut the fuck up about reaching Art through Violence there is something WRONG WITH YOU. chun is entirely convinced that she's what will harmonize closest to that sound she's chasing-- that dissatisfaction, desire, rage... it's so painfully close. and yet she refuses to acknowledge that spark! refuses to engage entirely! is it not the nature of the soul to sing? so sing girl, sing.

girlies who are trying to claw their way back to stability and girlies who want nothing more than to burn to ashes in a beautiful blaze of Being. in conclusion:

[accursedvoid]

I think I’d like ‘grey jedi’ more as a morality/order choice if it wasn’t called ‘grey JEDI’ and had its own cool separate name like Jedi & Sith have.

Cause otherwise it just feels too jedi adjacent/too attached to said order - when I’d rather my character(s) not be connected to either side of the sith/jedi and have an option for my grey to light jedi/siths that aren’t truly attached to their orders/starting to go rogue from them/don’t conform to them to like align with than just ‘light sider/dark sider’

That way ‘Grey jedi’ as a term could just be applied to jedi that aren’t ‘Temple Jedi’ or whatever which is what I usually think of when I hear that term (not a whole separate order as canon puts it)

[seventh-district]

wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!

[lycanthropthy]

not sure why rottmnt's trending, but im happy for us

[oysterie]

im going to start calling honeybees invasive idc anymore

[dolceterzo]

hiiiii i love your 31 days of ghost posts and pls don't take offense but wish you coul d make gifs or smthn more interresting than photosets feel like u would be great blog then. again no hate just like gifs better then photos if u can please thanks

screaming sdkfgjgn what kind of cackhanded ask is this. bro if i could make nice gifs i'd be making them - alas it's not a skill i've unlocked. there are literally a plethora of great gif makers for ghost, you don't need me! @demonlayercake - @ghuleh-recs - @sakuraspoke - @silverofthunder - @copias-juicebox - @hxcfairy - @preqvelle - @oldonemaster - @lilspacewolfie - @slavghoul - @cardi-c - @piratefoolery - @p1nkcanoe and I could go on! go forth, show them love!

edit: idk why half the blogs haven't linked, they're linked when i edit the post but not when i save it, hmmm

[jellazticious]

Upon seeing the pascal car post I got curious - what do you think the Pizza Tower (from ur AU) characters would like as their cars/motorcycles/etc? Just for fun lmfao

- 💎

Firstly, it's not au lol, it's just interpretation but thank you for the ask

Ahem

Peppino is loyal to his CRUSTY ASS vespa. He is not replacing it, that thing is on life support. Tho he can drive a car too if necessary

Noise defo owns every type of vehicle known to man with how rich his ass is, but alas

He doesn't know how to drive any of them, his ass doesn't have a license and he's banned from getting one. He just has his skateboard and jetpack for transport tho

Noisette 👏teleports 👏

I have no idea what Gustavo uses for transport oh gee. Can anyone help me on this one? I think he uses a deer or a bull. Man I'm so stumped you guys. If only there was a level in the game that can answer the question!

We all know Pepperman is a car jock. He probably owns like three identical cars from different companies, CUSTOM MADE. He used to have five identical cars but he crashed two of em. One for a performance art and the other because he thought it would be funny

Vigilante drives a truck and knows how to tame and ride a bunch of animals. He prefers the critters more, the truck is mostly for business reasons like produce delivery or smthn.

Fake Peppino uses his sheer fucking will to transport himself. Bro runs faster than Peppino in the boss fight, ain't no wayyyy

Pizzahead ALSO teleports but he crashes from the sky unlike Noisette who just spawns next to you. If not teleportation, he uses a fuck ass unicycle, Pizzaface or his own two legs to power walk without ceasing

Mr Stick uses anything but a vehicle cuz his ass is so Inspector Gadget. Okay maybe he also uses a car from the 80s

Gerome and John teleports

[lactosefreeapple]

Mostly ramble post feel free to skip, TW ED talk ig???

So turns out the "appetite suppressants" I bought where the wrong ones, I ordered the detox on accident, I ordered the appetite suppressant ones but they could take up to a month to get here, so not good. Slightly better news is I do kinda fit into my waist trainer, it’s not great but it’s smthn. And I’ll take the detox ones until the proper ones get here ig. Yaayyyyyyy disorder makes me spend money on it when I could be collecting dollssss wooooo

Also to get free shipping on it I finally decided to invest in a bonet, I have so many split ends it’s about dang time. (I have wavy hair if that matters)

Still feel like a pig bc my waist trainer is an xl and I like barely fit into it with a mostly empty stomach but alas.

Also the detox pills (and the appetite suppressant pills) should be taken with food apparently? So I’ll probably only be taking 1-2 a day, or at the very least at night with no food so I can tough out the side effects. The appetite one I have less worry about bc it like speeds up metabolism anyways sooooo yeah. I’ve heard good things about it so I hope at the very least the detox one will be good in the meantime. Anyways.

Im mostly stoked for the day I can wear the waist trainer when skating and exercising to get the maximum effect from it, but for now I’m a little too chubby saurrrr :(

At least every time I pick up the packages I have to ride my bike like ~1 mile to the pickup area, that’s lovely, burns cals at the very least, and the stuff I ordered should be in like 3 different packages. Only problem is my sprained knee but I convinced my parents that "bike riding will help rehabilitate my knee" it actually hurts like hell but I’m too fat to fully rest soooo

Anyways, that was long winded, toodles!

～🎀

[gardenngoddess]

Okay so, I bought the seasonal pass x3 for season of remembrance with intentions of giving it to my friend Rex but alas, he’s not fond of the cosmetics. Having said that, I now have one extra pass to give to someone and have decided to do a raffle for it.

Uhm, i guess just interact with this post to be entered with a comment saying you want it or smthn.

Ends thursday night, winner will be announced publicly and contacted via dms

[necra-loid]

cleaning out my drafts folder ala spring cleaning...had some posts from fuckin 2019 in there good lord. if i just reblogged smthn from u from several years ago: sorry

[kmgkmg]

“almost included a lil text abt hosh accidentally adding joshua to a gc that he meant to add vernon and gyu to....hosh wouldve sent something like "so how long do yall wanna bet it's going to be until they're engaged" and joshua would wait for everyone to place their bets and then be like "well now you all owe me money since we just got engaged" *sends a pic of his hand and an engagement ring* BUT ALAS. i settled on a dating anniversary instead. just know in that universe, they would eventually get married (an extra little epilogue just for you anon)”

ynshie….marriage…..real…..(i explode into tiny little pieces) i actually screamed and nearly rolled off my bed when i read “well now you all owe me money since we just got engaged” like i prayed for times like these FR!!! (i dont think ill ever get over ynshie ever this extra epilogue will live in my brain thank you so so much 😭😭🫶🫶)

also THERE WAS A PLAYLIST BREAKDOWN?? actually dropping everything to read it all while listening to the playlist im so excited to read it rn tysm <33

(also i just noticed that u posted a ww fic??? omw to read it rn . angst will not stop me) (i will eat my words soon)

-⛺️

put my reply under the cut so our message won't be too long on the dashboard but 😗🫳*picks up the little pieces of u one by one that have exploded*

BUT YEAHHHHH!!!! there are so many lil headcanons abt this fic anonnie!!!!!!!!!! since u like the lil nuggets.. i'll shower u in some unused photos and their What Ifs!!

1...firework/sparkler pic: remember the tweet after cabin wars when joshua realized how cute reader looked when they were happy...yeah reader would've had that realization too on the 4th!!!!! joshua probably asked vernon to take the pic and he would post it on main being kinda fuckboyish but reader and joshua would (obliviously) be flirting in the comments. like get together alr 🙄 2...vernon/josh preoccupied on their phones: reader would send this pic to hoshi and be like "they've been trying to figure out how to load a tiktok compilation vid onto the tv for the kids...who's gna tell them that i hid the remote? 😝" reader just being chaotic since hoshi would b gone that day for personal reasons or smthn 3...joshua bed pic: I WAS SOOOOO TEMPTED TO USE THIS ONE! the thing is though it looks soooooo like Professionally taken, yknow? but it would've been vernon being a little cupid, texting reader like "we mentioned your name and suddenly bro is wide awake" LIKE LOOK HOW PRECIOUS HE LOOKS???? it could pass for him being infatuated w you and UGHHH yeah!!

4...mud masks: the camp has rewarded the counselors for taking care of the campers all summer! free spa day for all of them! except nobody told joshua and hoshi where the mud bath was and the spa was nature themed so um. when they saw a pool outside of the changing rooms with mud, they automatically thought that it must be the place w rejuvenating mud for the skin! yeah no...it's just an old pool that hasn't been cleaned. so they have actual dirty mud/clay on their face. reader and vernon come back from buying snacks like ??????? how are you so muddy when we didn't even tell you where to go??? and reader takes that pic of them just utterly shocked like !!!!!! wym that pool wasn't even a part of the spa?!!??!! 5...karaoke night: again, a counselors only type of event. they would go to the local pub and have fun (maybe drink, maybe not idk!) but you and hoshi would encourage joshua to sing and vernon to rap! joshua would go after you kept whining, he's a sucker for you, and ofc start singing sunday morning. reader would tweet the video and caption it like "living up to the username i see @/sundaymorning" 6...pfp: ok this one is the most nugget of nuggets but i was considering making this joshua's pfp/icon for reader and joshua's texts! it would b for after they're together! i was gna add a bit abt how he makes funny faces to cheer reader up. he made that face one day during one of your facetimes, so you screenshotted it and always look at his contact pic when you feel down!

if you did get the chance to check out the breakdown i would b soooo interested to know which song(s) u think fits the series the best!! i def have my own picks for the ones i listened to a lot and used the most 🤭

THE WONU FIC!!!!!!!! my friend is a wonu stan and i was texting her like... yeah almost done w the wonu angst.. and she was like WONWOO?? ANGST????? 🤲 it was soooo funny bcos she's v chill but she was eating up the little sections of the fic that i was sending her hehe

i also made two mbs on my other sb for the wonwoo fic: one based more on the vibes and one based on the aes! the one w wonwoo's face kinda flopped and i'm like 👁️ interesting... @ the followers on that blog

sorry for the late reply!! but hope u had a nice day <333

[wonderfullyweird]

psssst... i'm not saying send prompts but...... pls send writing prompts

you can see my one piece of writing for this fandom here if you want

[breddyset]

i'm not saying you should send in writing prompts.... but if you did.... i wouldn't mind😳

[moonstandardtime]

i wish i could. see. that would be pretty great i think