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ilovewrittingsmut · 3 months ago

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Cause I don't want you like a best friend.

Only bought this dress so you can take it off.

Nanami x fem!reader

Nanami had been your best friend since jujutsu high, but deep down, you always harbored secret feelings for him.

For nearly 10 years, there had been an unspoken tension between you two, but now, the day, your birthday party, had finally come when you could no longer keep your feelings hidden.

Contents: Friends to lovers, little bit of suggestive content, YEARNING, love confession omg I need him so bad

an. this is my first time writing a long ass fanfic and first time posting here (disclaimer English is not my first language.) so hope you guys enjoy!!!

Btw this was inspired by the song “dress” by Taylor Swift so I recommend you listen to this song while reading.

Enjoy reading!!!

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0:00

K.: happy birthday to my best friend, my one and only, I hope you have the best day and I will see you in this evening at your birthday party. See you!

The moment the clock ticked past 23:59, a short, high-pitched tone from your phone jolted you awake.

There he was...always the first.

Every year, he was the first to wish you a happy birthday.

He was just a very nice friend of yours—or so you kept trying to convince yourself.

You: Thank a bunch kento! See you at my party.

Today, you made up your mind to tell him everything—that his one and only best friend had always had feelings and pined for him.

You knew there was a real possibility that everything could go downhill, and you might be the one to ruin the friendship you two had built over nearly ten years, ever since you were just high schoolers.

But you just couldn’t hold back anymore.

It was terribly painful. You knew that telling him might be selfish, but holding back those heart-racing feelings, the soft words left unspoken, the lingering gaze, and the words "I love you" felt torturous—like holding a knife in your chest.

Only if he knew, all of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting.

The prospect of confessing your love to him consumed your thoughts throughout the night, leaving you restless. Countless considerations raced through your mind—what outfit would be most fitting, how should you apply your makeup, and the nagging question of whether you would be enough to capture his heart.

This might be your most bizarre birthday ever.

8:00

The dark circles under your eyes were a testament to the mere two hours of sleep you managed to get—or perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a brief nap.

This year, you decided to treat yourself by taking the day off as a birthday gift to yourself, with that being said, you had lots of time to arrange the party and lots of time to…think about him.

K.: Don't worry about the party. I'll be at your place by noon, and I've bought plenty of food. Just take it easy, I'll be there to help you with the arrangements.

Speaking of the devil, Nanami himself texted you, almost as if he could read your very thoughts.

As always, there was the way he seemed to be able to read your unspoken message that was all over inside your mind, the way he seemed to reserve a special place in his heart just for you, the way he would turn himself against the world if it meant protecting you. It made you believe that, just as you were in love with him, he might have always been in love with you too.

But you still weren’t sure if he was just being a good friend or if it actually was something beyond than that.

You couldn’t help it, your heart just sank at the mere thought of him.

You just couldn’t take it anymore.

You knew you had to do something to escape these tangled, muddy thoughts. You decided to head straight to your closet just to clear your mind and looked for one of your favorite dresses—or to be honest, the dress that would draw all of his honey-brown eyes on you.

You dragged your fingers across the hangers, pausing as they brushed against one particular dress—your black, simply elegant dress. It featured a straight neckline with thin adjustable straps, a leg slit, and subtle pleat detailing at the waist. It was the dress that never failed to make you feel confident, alluring, and undeniably captivating.

You’d bought it a long time ago with the thought of him seeing you in it, imagining those hungry eyes fixed on you and only you. You’d been waiting for the right opportunity to wear it, not just because it looked absolutely stunning on you, but because it was for him, a manifestation of your hidden desire.

You took off your former clothes and slipped into the dress. As the fabric hugged your body, you couldn’t help but imagine his big stronger manly hands gliding over you, his hot lips whispering sweet nothings in your ear, him slowly taking that dress off, and his lips tracing every curve of your body. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, making your heart race even faster.

Your body yearned for all of it—you wanted it, you needed it. As your hands glided over your shoulders, down to your waist, and then between your thighs, you couldn’t help but wish they were his hands, not yours. The longing was almost unbearable, a deep ache that only he could satisfy.

Your head, your body, every part of you was consumed by thoughts of him. You couldn’t help it; your mind was completely clouded by the image of him.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, imagining his skin touching yours, his hot breath against your sensitive skin, his lips lingering all over your body. Suddenly, you were jolted awake by the high-pitched ringtone of your phone. You grabbed it irrationally, and all the annoyance on your face vanished when you saw his name flashing on the screen. You answered the god damn phone within a second.

“Hey, I got lucky and finished up earlier than I expected. I’m standing in front of your door, could you come and open it for me, please?”

His voice was so clam and gentle for you like always. You could listen to him rumbling all day long without getting tired.

And for heaven's sake, you hadn't even put on your makeup yet. Nothing had gone as planned. You had envisioned everything being perfect, wanting to look flawless, just for him. The anticipation of his arrival had derailed your carefully laid plans, leaving you scrambling to present yourself in the best possible light. You wanted everything to be just right, to impress him and make the moment unforgettable.

“What can I say? I haven’t done my makeup yet. Sorry if I sound a bit flustered, but I’d really rather you not see me without it.”

You had no idea what you just said, like what the fuck, why you had to said it out loud.

“You’re so funny sometimes. I’ve seen you without makeup countless times before. Remember? I was there through your emo phase. There’s nothing to be embarrassed to me.”

“Just shut up okay?, you were emo too at that time. Never bring that topic up again. Please!!”

Between you two, there were so many unspoken rules and inside jokes that no one else could understand.

You were flattered, sososo flattered, feeling your cheeks flush with warmth everytime as he teased you, though you hated how easily you blushed. You quickly ended the call and walked to the door, still wearing that dress.

Your hand rushed to open the door, and as it swung open, your gaze met his. His eyes sparkled with a warm, heavenly glow the moment he saw you standing there, and the look of delight on his face made your heart skip a beat.

“Can I come in?”

“Indeed”

You tried to act as normal as possible, but your heart was betraying you, racing wildly with every beat.

“You look great.”

He didn’t really stare at you but he did look at you with unspeakable things in his eyes for sure.

“Thanks”

Why the hell on earth you were so awkward like that.

“I have never seen this dress”

You had no idea just how much of his attention was always focused on you.

“Because I haven’t wear it.”

“You should wear it more often, you look good.”

He tried to turn his head away but his pupils just so flared for you.

God, did he just admit that you were so pretty, leading both of you to get very flustered

“Here, your favorite chicken wings,pasta from your favorite restaurant, some of frozen pizza and this..”

He reached into his bag and pulled out something.

“Bread…I baked it for you”

He pulled out a loaf of homemade, crusty artisan bread, baked just for you.

“For me?”

“Of course”

The small smile appeared around his eyes as you inhaled deeply.

“Thank you, you’re the best.”

“No need for that, also happy birthday and thank you for everything.”

“Thank you for always being by my side, I…”

He hesitated before speaking the next word, his fingers fidgeting as he wrestled with his nerves.

“I can’t imagine my life without you”

He turned his head sideways to avoid staring straight ahead, crossing his arms across himself as he stepped backwards.

Was he being romantic?

You had no clue what did that actually mean. You excessively swallowed all the tension as you shot him with your darting gaze.

Fuck, it was so hard to be just friends with him. You probably showed to much signs right now and he would probably could read all of that.

For god sake, you hated the way he could read you like a book that was why you always avoided the topic of romance because he always knew when you were lying so prevent confrontation, you just prefer never had a conversation about love with him.

The next words about to leave his mouth might very well make you crumble to your knees. You weren’t sure how much longer you could keep your feelings hidden.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation that you hold back and it was killing you.

It was just an inch away—just one pathetic inch away that separated you from remaining friends and becoming something more.

You genuinely didn’t know why your brain just went blank when you looked at him. You were going insane.

The way that he always gawked at you, just friends didn’t look at each other like that…

Everything was so inescapable and you were not even gonna try.

Your hands were shaking from holding back from all these.

It was now or never.

“Kento…I don’t think that I can be your friend anymore”

The words were said by your shivering voice hung in the air, charged with a gravity that seemed to make time itself slow down. You could see the confusion flicker in his eyes, the hurt starting to take shape behind them.

“What…why? I’m sorry did I do something wrong? Can we talk about that? Please?”

“No it’s not about you…it’s about me.”

“I don’t want you like a best friend.”

You stopped. The silence between you two was heavy, like the moments before a storm breaks. Your heart pounded against my chest, each beat echoing with the fear of the unknown. You had spent so long wrestling with your feelings, trying to suppress them, trying to maintain the facade of friendship. But the weight of your emotions had grown too great, and now the truth had to be spilled out, threatening to unravel everything.

“I hate to risk our friendship, but I can’t keep this hidden anymore.”

You took a deep breath, the words spilling out with a raw urgency you could no longer contain.

“I can’t do this anymore, I fall in love with you so head over heels and fuck it I can’t not love you. It’s just not in me…shit did I just say it out loud?”

The confession hung between you, trembling with the weight of your unspoken desires and fears.

Kento’s gaze softened, his confusion giving way to a profound sadness. He opened his mouth as if to respond, but no words came. The vulnerability in his eyes was almost too much to bear.

You stood there, heart racing, feeling a mix of relief and dread. The risk you took was immense, but you knew you couldn’t continue living with the secret any longer. Now, the future of your friendship and potentially something more was uncertain, hanging in the thread of his response.

“I’m sorry.”

The feelings were so overwhelming as tears began to fall from the corners of your eyes as the weight of your confession settled over you. You feared that you might have already ruined everything, the possibility of losing him forever or changing everything you had cherished flashing through your mind. Each tear that slipped down your cheek felt like a tangible symbol of your anxiety and regret.

“Idiot, you are an idiot.”

His response took you by surprise. A small smile appeared on his face, and his tender, sweet eyes remained fixed on you, full of warmth and affection. The words you’d feared would end everything seemed instead to be the beginning of something new, as his gaze softened with understanding and something more profound.

“Why haven’t you said anything sooner?”

He took a step closer, tilting his head slightly to look at your tear-streaked face. His hands reached out, and before you could react, his strong arms enveloped you. The warmth of his body surrounded you, providing a comforting embrace that seemed to chase away the uncertainty and fear. In that moment, you felt an overwhelming sense of relief and tenderness, as if everything you had hoped for was finally coming to fruition.

“I’ve loved you all my life.”

He whispered against your ear, his breath warm and intimate, leaving no inches between you two . The confession was soft yet profound, mingling with the beat of your heart and the steady rhythm of his. The closeness of your bodies made the moment feel both fragile and incredibly real, as if all the unspoken feelings and hidden desires had finally found their voice.

“I always thought you knew just how much I’ve been yearning for you.”

he said, frustration clear in his voice. He cursed under his breath, his eyes reflecting a mix of confusion and vulnerability. The emotion was raw and unfiltered, as he grappled with the reality of his unspoken desires and the intensity of his feelings.

“You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?"

“And I always thought that you would never look at me this way,”

he murmured, his voice trembling slightly.

“I mean, look at me… I don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you. You are… everything.”

His words, so full of vulnerability and self-doubt, seemed to echo in the space between you. The depth of his feelings was laid bare, each word imbued with a mix of longing and disbelief. You could feel the intensity of his emotions as he spoke, his face close to yours, his breath mingling with yours.

“I was a real selfish man. ”

Admitted, his voice filled with regret.

“I kept you all to myself as my best friend because… I thought it was the only way to be the man who was lucky enough to be near you.”

His confession was raw and honest, his eyes reflecting a deep, conflicted emotion. The vulnerability in his voice revealed how much he had struggled with his own desires and the fear of losing you. As he spoke, it became clear how profoundly he valued your presence in his life and how conflicted he felt about the boundaries he had set.

“I really enjoy every moment spending with you and you have no idea how much I have always cherished those days we went through together, I know…I know so well that I do not deserve any of that but…”

“I know I’m not good enough for you so I decide to love you as much as this man can do and…”

He had a hard time saying all of those words as you could see.

“Ken, with love, please shut up.”

You cut him off as his confession had overwhelmed you, and you no longer needed to hear any more of his heartfelt words. All you wanted in that moment was to kiss him. The intensity of your feelings was too strong to be contained by words alone, and you found yourself yearning to close the distance between you with a kiss that would express everything you felt.

Oh god you couldn’t believe it that you two were both pining like idiots for all these years??

“Yeah, okay I will shut up but I need to tell you something, so what if I dreamt about kissing you for almost ten years? Don’t we all do that with our best friends? …hm? What do you think about it”

“Best friends my ass” you thought and let a small giggle. He might have been serious no he wasn’t, but his playful tone made you laugh despite the intensity of the moment. His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. Goosebumps spread across your skin wherever he touched, heightening the electric tension between you. His touch was both soothing and thrilling, making it clear that the line between friendship and something more had finally blurred.

“Ken…Just shut up and kiss me already. Idiot.”

“Your idiot, just yours,”

he murmured, his voice low and tender.

“Only a fool for you.”

He mumbled the words against your soft lips before slowly pressing his own against yours. The kiss that followed was everything you had always dreamed of, so gentle yet filled with an intensity that spoke of all the feelings unspoken until now.

And that dress was eventually taken off by your best mate that day or could I say, your future husband.

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imfinereallyy · 1 year ago

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celebrate softly

it my birthday today so here’s a lil gift from me to you (yes I know that’s not how this works haha) I made a bunch of little things is celebration, i probably won’t post these till later in the day so sorry if you get a bunch at once.

Steve wanted to like his birthday.

No, really, he truly did. He knew that birthdays were the one time of year you get to be a little selfish. The people you loved gathered around you to celebrate another year of you.

It was just that Steve was also used to disappointment.

Over the years, his birthday has consisted of either his parents parading him around at business dinners or the empty silence of a house that wasn’t ever a home.

His old friends were never around. It was a holiday weekend; he didn’t expect them to stick around. Even if they had, Steve was almost sure they would have made him throw a party, where they would have pressured him to get drunk and sleep with someone, and…

Yea, Steve wasn’t interested.

The one birthday he spent with Nancy had been okay. She had to go on a family trip, her parents attempt at getting their kids to cheer up over the loss of their friends, and she was going to leave the morning of his birthday. But at midnight of July 2nd, she had snuck into his window even though she could have walked through the front door. Nancy had brought him a cupcake, a small present, and a soft smile. Steve had wanted to kiss her, but he knew it wasn’t what she wanted then. He wanted to be respectful, so he held her hand instead.

Nancy hadn’t brought a candle, said she didn’t want to risk burning the Harrington Household down. Steve had laughed, saying that would be the best birthday present ever, but she hadn’t laughed back.

The present had been a book. Which wasn’t a terrible gift per se, Steve liked reading it was just he had difficulty doing it. He couldn’t focus long enough, or he would have to reread sentences over and over again.

It just didn’t feel worth the frustration.

But it was sweet of her to get him something, so he tried reading it. It took him months to finish it, even though it was small. It was boring, and Steve had found the main character whiny, and Steve had begun to wonder if Nancy was trying to tell him something.

Then the Upside Down round two had happened, Steve got his ass kicked again and learned that Catcher in the Rye was Jonathan’s favorite book.

Steve had thrown out the book amongst his bloody bandages.

Steve was only slightly hopeful to have a good birthday last year. He had good friends (sure, one was his ex, and the other were children, but he still counted them); Dustin would be home from camp, and even though he had work, he got to spend the whole day bothering Robin, which brought him a special kind of joy.

But then they were cracking Russian code, getting tortured, and watching Max’s Stepbrother die, all within the days of his birthday.

So Steve didn’t have high expectations this year. Sure, people knew it was his birthday, it was hard to hide when he was friends with the nosiest people, but most of them were spending the entire weekend staying with Max, and he would have been too if Max hadn’t thrown a remote at him when he suggested it.

So Steve had conceded to having a quiet but lonely July 2nd.

But then at 7 am there was a knock on his front door.

A knock was putting it lightly, there was pounding echoing in the Harrington Household.

When Steve walked up to the door, he was prepared to drive away some bigots who had been trying to “repent Hawkins.” They had been going around the richer neighborhoods recently, saying we needed to clean up the streets of the sinners and the queers.

Yea, they were knocking on the wrong door.

Steve hadn’t expect Eddie Munson, notorious night owl, to be crowding his doorway at 7 am.

“Harrington, have I ever told you how absolutely ugly your house is? Like for how wealthy your parents are, they chose an absolute nightmare of a layout! It makes no sense.” Eddie budged his way past Steve with his arms full of bags.

“I’ve been telling him that for a year, Eddie, and every time he just shrugs!” Steve turned to find Robin bullying her way through him as well. She had a handful of videos in her hands.

“Sure, come in, I guess,” Steve mumbled. He shut the door and turned toward his intruders. “Not that I don’t love a surprise appearance at—“ Steve checked his watch “—7:03 am, but is there a reason why you are awake before the birds are even chirping?”

Eddie snorted and just gave him a look instead of answering. Robin shook her head, “What doofus hear is trying to convey with a noise, Jesus Eds, I know you’re not a morning, but words please, is that we are obviously here for your birthday. You, Steven Alison Harrington—“

“Not my middle name.”

“—we’re born at exactly 7:07 am on July 2nd. So we had to be here to say happy birthday officially!”

“How do you even know the time? I don’t even know that.”

“She snuck a look at your file last time Owen’s was in town.” Eddie smirked.

Robin hit him upside the head, “Don’t tell him that asshole, he already thinks I’m crazy enough. And don’t act like this wasn’t your idea!”

Eddie rubbed the back his head in dramatic fashion then yelled, “Snitch!” through hissed teeth.

Steve felt himself unthaw at the idea that these two weirdos woke up this early for him. “Ah, well, thanks, guys.” A blush rose on his cheeks, “Well, thanks for stopping by; you guys can go home and sleep if you want.”

“Stevie, did you think we brought all this to just leave? On your birthday. Oh no, no, no. We are having a whole movie and snack day! I brought weed, and chips, and we can order a pizza later in the day. And just be lazy weirdos in your fancy living room.” Eddie hopped up on his coffee table, startling a laugh from Steve.

“That sounds like a typically Friday for us, what’s so special about it?” Steve teased.

“Well we brought all of your favorite movies! Grease, Top Gun, Karate Kid, Indiana Jones...wait I think I'm noticing a theme here—“

“Robin!” Steve screeched, his blush coming back with vengeance. He didn’t want her to reveal there very obvious, and embarrassing pattern to his favorite films.

“And!” Eddie said from atop his place on the coffee table, unfazed by the two of them, “We are paying for the pizza.” His voice oozed with pride at that. Steve was sure he had come up with the idea.

“Wow I’m a spoiled prince. Maybe ever think I wanted to stay in bed?” Steve raised a single eyebrow.

“Oh but my sweet prince, we know you rather spend this glorious day with us.” Eddie was confident, with confidence came the damn nicknames, and Jesus Christ—this blush of his was never going away. “Besides what else could you wish for!”

A kiss from you. Steve thought quickly.

Steve sighed deeply before saying, “Alright. Get down.”

Eddie seemed taken aback, like he hadn’t expected the rejection. “Oh yea man, of course. We will get out of your hair.” He scrambled off the table.

Steve giggled, “No Eds. I’m moving the coffee table. This couch is a pullout. We can all just lay on it while we watch movies.”

Eddie’s face lit up while Robin yelled, “Oh thank god, I’m exhausted.”

An hour later, when the sun was still barely risen and Grease blared in the background, Robin was bundled up in the blankets they dragged from his room, out like a light.

Eddie and Steve huddled close, but didn’t touch. The anticipation and want sat between them. “I actually have something for you.” Eddie whispered.

Robin snored beside them; Steve looked at her fondly. “You don’t have to whisper; she’s a heavy sleeper. Learned that the hard way.”

“Ah well, I have a present for you.”

Steve knows he should say that Eddie shouldn’t have, or insist he returns it. He knew it was the polite thing to do. He couldn’t find it in himself to do it, though. The idea that Eddie even thought to get him something beyond the amazing day they had planned (truly Steve couldn’t ask for a better day), but Eddie had spent his time to get something for Steve.

It was nice to have someone who would do something nice for you just because they can, not because they should. So, Steve waited patiently as Eddie reached into his bag beside the couch.

“Here.” Eddie spoke, placing the roughly wrapped package in his lap.

There was a tiny notecard with Eddie’s chicken scratch on it; Steve decided to read that first.

Stevie,

No adventure is the same without you, and this is the only one I have taken without you by my side. Thought it was about time we changed that. Hopefully we are not forever partners in crime (we’ve had enough of that) but instead, adventurers taking on then great unknown.

Together.

Yours,

Eddie Munson ッ

Steve smoothed over the card and tried not to cry. The poorly drawn smiley face stared up at him from the piece of parchment. Steve tucked it into his pocket for safe keeping; he might even frame it.

Eddie looked at Steve eagerly as he tried to open the package. He does it slowly to tease Eddie; his frustrated little growl made butterflies in Steve’s stomach.

Inside the package is a worn-out book, one he would recognize anywhere, considering he saw it every day on Eddie’s bookshelf. “Eds, this is your copy of Lord of the Rings. I can’t take this.”

Eddie put his hair in front of his mouth, suddenly shy, “Well, it wouldn’t be exactly yours. It’s just I thought it would be fun to, ya know, read it together? Like we take turns reading to each other. I know the kids always bug you to read it, and I noticed that it’s hard for you to focus sometimes, and I get that, so it might be easier if we like make it a thing? I know it’s probably not your interest; it’s my favorite book, not yours, so you know what? This is stupid—“

Steve cut him off by pulling him into a hug. Steve buried himself into Eddie’s neck before saying, “Thank you. It’s the best birthday present.”

“Really?” Eddie pulled back to look at Steve’s face. Whatever he found there must settle him, because he relaxed his shoulders. “I know it’s silly, but I guess I wanted to share this piece of myself with you…and maybe spend some more time together.”

Steve didn’t mention how they spent almost every day together, didn’t think he had to either. They both knew.

Steve decided to be bold instead. He pushed Eddie back into the couch and settled his back into Eddie’s chest. He snuggled into the warmth of his arms.

Steve put the book in Eddie’s hand. “Okay, you read first.”

Eddie laughed; Steve could feel the vibrations from under his skin. It was delightful; it was delicious. “Oh, you want to start now?”

Steve made an indignant noise while Eddie laughed again at him. His hands settled at the back of Steve’s neck as he played with hair that brushed it.

“When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventyifirst birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was …”

And once again, hours later, when Steve woke up, after drifting to Eddie’s soft, deep voice, Steve felt something settle in him. He felt Eddie lightly snoring beneath him, one hand still tangled in his hair. He felt Robin’s hand wrapped around his ankle, grounding the both of them. And there, between all of them, was the fallen book with no bookmark, signaling they would have to start again.

Maybe, sometimes. Steve thinks, birthdays could be good.

***

projecting. projecting. projecting. that’s me.

I hope you guys liked this one :) I did use my own bday for him, but the time he was born at is different than mine lol. I had a lot of fun writing it, it was just the softness I needed.

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readychilledwine · 1 year ago

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Hello. First of all thank you for that post, it amazing and no one has ever responded. I would like you to write another story of az where they have a child and she and her child get kidnapped. And she dies trying to the child. Az goes bolistic. (If u don't want the reader to die it's cool with me. Whatever u think is best). Thank u and have an amazing day ahead.

Eeeeee. This made little pregnant brain go meeeeep. I kind of changed it up. I didn't want to actively kill the reader, because I can't imagine Azriel ever pulling himself back together after that. I just imagine if Azriel found someone he loved enough to have a child with, it would devastate him. So. I put a spin on it. if I squeeze my eyes shut really tight, I can create a world where he finds a mate and heals with her, but that wound would always be there, and that creates angst. So this is loosely based on the aftermath of your request. I'm sorry it isn't perfect.

Replacement

Warnings - trauma, mention of torture, Az being kind of an ass.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

The words echoed in your mind. You aren't his mother! Azriel had screamed them at you so carelessly. Just because Xiden had come to you for a booboo. Just because Xiden had called you "mommy" and Azriel had heard it. How dare you seriously think you can replace her? What the fuck is wrong with you?

You loved your mate's son. You loved that little illyrian more than you could form into words. Shock had fallen into your own bones after he called you mommy and kissed your cheek, though. That wasn't a threshold you had meant to cross. It was an unspoken line in the sand. You were not his mother, and Azriel had managed to remind you quickly and make you feel so small over one word uttered by a child.

Your relationship with the two started a few years ago. You were Nyx and Xiden's private nanny. Rhysand had met you once in a volunteer childcare center. The two of you had talked about everything you had found important in raising little ones, and the High Lord brought you to his mate instantly. They had been looking for childcare whose values aligned with theirs for weeks, and Feyre, with tears of relief in her eyes, hired you on the spot and made a pay offer you would have been stupid to turn down.

You spent time with the two young boys constantly. You three would spend countless hours giggling. Your life ranged from cooking with them, playing with them, snuggling them, and doing basic school lessons with them, but mostly teaching them how to be good fae, teaching them right from wrong, showing them how to love and respect themselves and others.

Nyx was wonderful. You adored the little heir. But there was something about the way Xiden would hold your hand when you three would go for walks, the way he constantly searched for your approval. You can't remember if it was the first night he ran to your guest room on an extended care stay and buried himself so deep into your arms and pillows that made you love him, or if it was the solstice gift he drew of you, him, and Nyx that hung framed in your living room that sealed the deal, but you loved Xiden. Unconditionally and unexpectedly.

You had finally asked Feyre one night about his mother when she came over to bring you a birthday gift from the Inner Circle and the boys. Azriel had appeared after she told you gently Xiden's mother had died. He had the little male in tow. He had his wings tucked in so tight around him and his little footie pajamas and that made your heart tighten as he ran to you.

The bond snapped for Azriel as you were kneeled down, holding his son and comforting him. It snapped for you when you woke up to the male shirtless in your kitchen, making breakfast for the three of you after Xiden refused to leave.

There was no going back after that. Xiden had a room at your apartment now. You had things in their home. You and Azriel told each other everything. Well, almost everything. He still had not told you about his former love or where she was. Xiden had done it late one night after another screaming fit woke him up and had him crawling into bed with you.

I watched momma die, you had tried to tell him it was just a bad dream. But when his eyes met yours and he shook his little head, you shattered into pieces. I watched it, miss y/n. I watched them hurt momma.

You had approached Azriel about it gently, holding his hand as he closed you out. You didn't push the issue at all, knowing he'd tell you when he was ready to. You had, however, pushed for him to enroll Xiden into therapy with Madja.

That was almost 8 months ago now, though. Tonight had been the breaking point. It stung, knowing the male you adored had all but dismissed his son's feelings, and your own, without giving you a single explanation of why. You had left his home in silence despite him calling for you. You had shielded yourself for the time and sealed the bond so deeply into your heart that you couldn't feel him, and he couldn't feel you.

You curled deeper into the bed, holding your blanket tight against yourself as you cried. You had no interest in replacing Xiden's mom. You never set that as a goal in this relationship. You just wanted to love Azriel, love his son. You wanted to support them, be there for them.

A loud knock came at your door, and you ignored it. Then another, more insistent than the next, and finally, your door just opened. You knew it was him, that he had picked the lock. He made his way to your bedroom, opening the door without knocking and moving to sit on the bed next to you.

"I'm sorry, y/n," his hand found your hip as he tried to get your attention. "I lashed out, and I shouldn't have. It's just- It's hard. Knowing she should be here, but isn't."

"I never wanted to replace her, Az. I never asked to fill that role." You voice sounded as broken as you knew it would. Hours of crying finally had begun to show damage.

"I know, love. I know."

"You won't even tell me what happened to them. All I can do is offer him whatever I can based on what I know, and then i get yelled at for it. How can I comfort him, help him, and support him when I don't know the full story. How can I support YOU when I don't even know what happened?"

His jaw tightened as he looked at you. He had been avoiding this conversation for too long, and now it had come to a head. "When Xiden was 4, he and his mother were visiting her parents in Illyria without my knowledge." Azriel looked up, blinking tears away as his throat grew tight. "I had made a few enemies in the camp they went to, and they took them. It took us 3 weeks to find them and track them down. By time we got there, she was gone. Xiden was.." His jaw tightened again. "He was traumatized. He had watched them rape, beat, and torture his mother for weeks. He was starved, sleep deprived, and disassociated from us completely. I only added to that trauma by slaughtering every single male in that place without thinking about the fact that he was right there."

"He wouldn't let me touch him for weeks. He ran to Rhys and Cassian instead of me. And it killed me." Azriel was biting his lip, shadows stilled and wrapped around him as his wings also pulled in. "I will never forget her lifeless eyes, her body, her bruised face. I will never forget my son's broken mind and soul. I will never forgive myself for what happened to them."

You sat up, running a hand up and down his back and between his wings. "It wasn't your fault, Az. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

He broke then, sobbing out a gentle I know as he broke down. "I just don't want him to forget her, how much she loved him, how much she sacrificed for him."

"He won't," you said firmly. "He never will. He's six, Az. He remembers his momma. He knows I am not her." Azriel nodded. "Az, you need to forgive yourself. You can't move forward, and Xiden can't move forward, with this cloud hanging here." Another silent nod as he leaned further into your touch. "You need to give yourself permission to be happy, to move on, and to take care of him without being scared of the world."

"It's just so hard," you nodded this time, kissing between his shoulder blades. "I loved her so fucking much."

"I know. Her picture is still up in your office. I make sure to dust it every day. You also have some of her dresses still. A few of her blankets." His shoulders fell, guilt flooding the now empty bond. "Don't," you whispered. "Don't feel guilty for loving the mother of your child. Don't feel guilty for wanting to honor her memory."

"Please come back." Azriel sounded broken at the confession he was about to make. "He can't sleep when you aren't there." You nodded, grabbing a bag to pack an outfit for tomorrow.

Azriel watched you moving through the room in silence. "I wanted to talk about you moving in," you froze on the spot. "Or us finding somewhere for the 3 of us."

"Az-"

"I fucked that up, though, didn't I?" You shook your head, rushing to him and throwing yourself onto him and the bed. "Or maybe I didn't?"

"Of course I want to move in with you two." Your response was muffled into his neck. You could feel his smile grow.

"Perfect." He said.

"Perfect." You agreed.

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel fic #azriel shadowsinger #az x reader

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star2fishmeg · 28 days ago

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in honor of quinn's birthday, waking him up with head would be the best gift he receives, like forget about your actual presents.

it's unusual for you to wake up before him, but today's the perfect day to admire his beautiful sleepy face. no frown between his brows, his long lashes brushing his blushy cheeks from sleep. and you can't help it but slowly run a hand down his his warm exposed chest, smiling when you reach his happy trail. and you love it oh so much you need to bring your hand further down. palming him thru his boxers.

“what are you doing?” he mumbles with that raspy morning voice, shuffling a little. you respond with a soft kiss to his plush lips, “relax birthday boy” and you keep your attention to his half hard cock, finally moving your hand to touch him freely, skin to skin.

and when you lower yourself, slowly kissing down his stomach, his hand cradling your cheek, aching for you to put your mouth where he desperately needs you to be, quinn smirks knowing he’s the luckiest man on earth to have you for all for himself. “don’t tease me baby” he whispers when you start with kitten licks on his tip. and you’re putty in his hands so any of his wishes are your commands.

-☝️ anon

☝️ says happy birthday Quinn! This is so hot, like, so hot. Love when you drop by ☝️

Usually, I don't post writings on Mondays but today is a special occasion👀 Excuse any mistakes in this, it's late and I'll probably notice them in the morning.

There's no better way to wake up on his birthday than having his girlfriend's tongue licking a stripe from his base to his tip, running over his veins that pulse and her thumb smearing the precum in soft, circular motions while his grumbly morning voice reverberates through his chest in little grunts.

"You like that, Q?" you ask, eyelids half-lidded and voice so breathy he thinks an angel is whispering to him. You press your lips to his tip, giving it a kiss as a low whimper begs to escape his mouth, "I can't hear you, baby,"

Heat rushes through his body, sweat threatening to form on his forehead as his stomach flips as his cock twitches in your hand, "Fuck, yes! Please, stop teasing."

"Birthday boy gets what birthday boy wants~" you chime, taking his tip between your lips, his stomach tensing feeling you slowly, torturously lower yourself down on him, tongue swirling around him until laying it flat on the underside of his cock, your feverish moan vibrating against every nerve and electrifies him.

"Shit, shit! Feel so fucking good," he bumbles, groans slipping from his chest, tiredness overridden by raptures when he hit the back of your throat. He opens his eyes fully to a gorgeous sight; you sucking his cock with such ease, watching his length exit then enter your throat as you bob at a satisfying pace, not too fast but not painfully slow, a speed where he can fully embrace the euphoria that makes him dizzy, makes his chest warm, his stomach fluttery and fizzy, build up that puddle of arousal in the pit of his stomach and the very thought of that coil snapping and leaking from your lips has his hand creeping into your hair.

He doesn't grip your roots harsh; he's tangling his fingers gently and guiding you along his cock, whining freely into his bedroom in the early hours of the morning, listening to your carnal moaning - deep and uncontrolled, from your lungs like you mean it - like it's a bird's song. That coil inside him tightens, that sweat trickles down his temple and your head moves faster and he throws his head back the second your fingers fondle his balls. But a giddy, sparkly feeling festers in his chest for what else you have in store after he plans to spill hot cum down your throat.

#≡starfishmeg #≡nonnies #≡☝️nonnie #quinn hughes smut #≡qh43

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rottencherrypie · 8 months ago

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R-18+; Stress Relief (Sub!Thorin x Dom!Reader)

Summary - Thorin is stressed, you help him destress.

Warnings - Smut, language, Thorin pleading, whimpering (Thorin), handjob, male genitalia (Thorin), bodily fluids.

Pronouns & POV - None, third-person-ish

Word Count - 1,200+

A/N - I believe I wrote this as a birthday gift a few years ago for a dear friend of mine (*cough* *cough* buy The Dragons of Thaveil by Joy Rogers *cough*), I cannot remember if I posted it or not. Pure smut beneath the cut.

Read on AO3 Read on Wattpad

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

The familiar tune of deep, breathy moans danced across the dimly lit walls. The soft crackle of nearby fire nearly masked the squelching click that danced alongside the well-known harmony of the dwarven king's pathetic pleads.

A harmony that began to grow louder as the sturdy weight of his head sunk back into your chest, the lids of his sapphire eyes glued shut as he began to quiver.

A faint sheen of sweat glistened upon his forehead, his brows knitting together as his lips fell open. "Fuck." He gasped, feeling a familiar knot begin to weave within the pit of his stomach.

As his grip upon reality began to fade away, his grasp upon your forearm tightened - his nails embedding themselves into your skin with a bitter sting earning a hiss to grace your lips.

"Careful-" The heat of your breath caressed his ear, making a shiver roam down his spine. How cute. You could see why he enjoyed getting that reaction from you. "-or I will have to stop."

A pitiful whimper escaped his lips the moment the words slipped through yours, a whimper he attempted to mask with a groan, but it was no use - he was putty in your gentle hands.

"Please!" The word wavered upon his lips as he sucked in another shaky inhale, the muscles within his lower stomach clenching together tighter as your hand began to slow. "Please don't stop."

"Oh?" Your hand came to a halt at his plea, the corners of your lips curving upwards into a mischievous smile as the dwarven king began to whine. "And why shouldn't I?" You hummed, the heat of your breath grazing his neck. Your thumb slowly circled the aching tip of his cock as you awaited his response.

"Please, Y/N," Mindlessly bucking himself against your hand, his thick brows tightly knit together as his thrusts grew more desperate. "I need you." "Then beg for me."

The lids of his eyes slowly opened before he blinked up at you in shock, his sapphire-colored eyes completely glazed over with lust as he laid there within your grasp - mouth agape at your bold command.

"Well? Go on then." A hiss escaped his thin lips as your loose grip upon his throbbing cock tightened, allowing you to feel every racing beat of his heart throughout it. "Beg."

"Please, Y/N." He groaned, sucking in the bitter winter air through his teeth as your hand slowly glid up his cock - torturously slow - before gliding down to the base. "Please don't stop...I'll be good."

The slight stinging tear of his nails escaping your soft skin allowed another low hiss to fall out of your lips. "I will do anything you want just, please-" The word stumbled upon his lips as he choked out a stuttered whine, his temporarily loose grip tightened around your arm as the muscles within his abs began to flutter. "Please let me cum. Please."

As the final whimpered word left his lips, your palm left his aching cock for a moment - making a pathetic whine echo dance throughout the quiet room before curling back around it again.

The weight of his head sunk further back into your chest as your hand slowly slid up and down his cock, gradually increasing in speed as your opposite hand roamed his toned body. Leaving a trail of quivering muscles behind as your smooth skin continued upon the lower path of his body.

"You look so pretty." The vibrations of your purred words sent another shiver down his spine and made his muscles tense further. Your hot breath caressed his neck as your movements gradually grew quicker, his hips mindlessly bucking upwards to match your touch as the lids of his sapphire eyes squeezed shut again.

"That's what you are, aren't you? My pretty boy." The blur of brunette hair bobbing made the smirk plastered upon your soft lips widen. The movement of your hand quickened as you traced mindless patterns with the opposite hand upon his lower abs, feeling the muscles tense alongside the familiar burn of his nails embedding into your arm again.

"Y/N, I can't-" "Then don't." You breathed into his neck, your lips hovering a breath above one of the most sensitive parts on him. "Cum for me. Now."

The entire weight of his head leaned into your chest, nearly knocking you into the bed, as the muscles within his lower abs tensed for a final time before releasing. A slew of whined moans fell out of his gaping lips as his body trembled against your touch as white, hot ropes gushed over your hand.

The dwarven king succumbed to pleasure as wave after wave wracked throughout his once tense body; the stresses of reality faded away as the only thing he could think of was the next wave ready to whisk him off again.

As he drifted away within the endless sea of pleasure, you began to press gentle kisses upon the crook of his neck - enjoying every pathetic whimper that slipped out of his parted lips due to it.

"There you go, my love. I've got you." You hummed against his neck as your grasp upon his softened cock released, earning a displeased whimper from him. "I've got you."

The pair of you stayed there in silence for a few moments as you admired your lover's trembling body within your sturdy arms. The smooth tips of your clean fingers softly traced every indent the golden hues put on display as the beautiful image of your lover safe within your grasp, in such a manner, burned into your mind.

"Thank you, amrâlimê." He breathed, the corners of his thin lips curving upwards into a blissful grin as he freed your arm from his grasp. The tips of his calloused fingers grazing over the small wounds he caused as an unspoken apology.

"Do you feel better now, Thorin?" The tone of your voice softened as you moved your clean hand up to cradle the side of his face. "Much." He hummed as he turned his head, pressing a soft kiss into your palm before allowing you to cradle his cheek.

"Now...about that anything-" "No." He stated as he lifted his head from your soft embrace, the bed creaking under his shifting weight as he slid off the bed.

"You do not know what I was going to ask for!" A low chuckle echoed throughout the room as the dwarven king stumbled to the bathroom only to return as quickly as he had left. "We shall discuss your payment another day, but for now-" He began, his calloused hands softly wiping away the white ropes that covered your hand.

"-I want to relax like a wise person has been nagging me to." His beard softly tickled your cheek as he pressed a kiss upon it, tossing the towel aside to be dealt with later before laying beside you upon the soft furs.

The sturdy weight of his head once again rested into your chest as you two lay there in peaceful silence. Not needing to speak a single word of your love for another as the warmth within the air expressed it more than any word could ever say.

──────

"I am not a nag." "Yes, you are." The king muttered, raising his head from your chest. "But you are my nag."

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

#thorin oakenshield smut #thorin oakenshield x reader #x reader smut #smut #thorin #thorin x reader smut #thorin x y/n smut #thorin x y/n #thorin smut

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valya-dudycz-lupescu · 2 years ago

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Musings on Ice-Pick Joe

I'm not sure why no one is talking about Ice-Pick Joe's death scene, especially with rumors of the Ice-Pick Joe prequel circulating the internet.

The scene where Ice-Pick Joe walked by Sofia's window on his way to the fateful meeting with Katya, stopping to lean against the light post long enough to see two silhouettes come together. (I can't be the only one who was getting Blue Velvet vibes in that scene?) Why isn't anyone talking about his longing? The voyeurism? His fear of abandonment stemming from childhood trauma...after all, his mother picked him, of all his siblings, to leave at the orphanage! She left him with nothing but those appleseeds that he carried around in his pockets.

I'm absolutely sure that Sofia was the unnamed child in Joe's flashback (Jodie Foster was so good as the scrappy, androgynous best friend. She did have a limp in that scene when they were running from the cemetery. We don't actually know at what age Sofia lost her leg. And Donny Osmond was the perfect young Ice-Pick Joe!)

If you watch closely, she had the same birthmark on her shoulder in that first awkward kiss scene that Sofia had when she and Katya fought that night of her birthday, when she ripped her blouse and threw her glass of champagne at the wall.)

But back to Joe on the empty street, those shadows against the wall like shadow puppets, and the way the clock motif came back at that moment? Such haunting music, reprised again in the film score during Joe's death (I still cry when I hear "The Demise of Ice-Pick Joe". Linking to it here, because I played it on repeat when the movie was over. Brilliant and haunting.)

youtube

Remember how the flashbacks showed us that Ice-Pick Joe was really superstitious and believed that he had inherited his grandmother's gifts? If you watch the way Joe looks at the shadows and then down at his watch, you can see him hesitate before going to the docks. Was he hearing voices?

Most people agree that the shadows on the wall looked like a child, but I'm not sure that Ice-Pick Joe's hesitation to go to the dock was about his own son. I think the shadows looked more like that kiss flashback when he and Sofia were children. The frame and perspective are almost the same angle, as if they are being watched from below.

Either way, he is clearly making the choice to leave the past behind that brings him to his tragic and senseless death.

I would love to know what happened that took that gentle young Joe who loved to sing and turned him into the tortured stoic we meet in Goncharov, the only affection reserved for his cat, Mrs. Claws.

(I can't help but wonder if they meant for her to be an echo of Le Befana, the Italian winter witch-goddess who sometimes gets translated as Mrs. Claus? After all, his mama's last words to him when she kissed him goodbye were, "If you're a very good boy, maybe La Befana will bring you to a new home on Epiphany morning, a warm home full of food and presents." Poor Joe never finds that home.) You know, I think that was the first time I heard about Le Befana, and that was one of the inspirations that led me down the road to my own version of Mother Christmas.

Does anyone know if it's true that the Ice-Pick Joe prequel got permission to use "Hotel California" as its theme song? I wonder if we're going to get the story of his time as an unskilled laborer in the vineyards of Napa in the 60s? I was never clear about how he got to America and then back to Italy with a small fortune and hitman skills? They're saying it's like Better Call Saul meets the Sopranos meets Twin Peaks. I'm here for it, especially if they can get Cole Sprouse to play young Ice-Pick Joe.

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rr311 · 11 months ago

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·˚ ༘ 𝑰𝒏𝒇𝒐 ➪ short drabble, fluffy, blacl!reader soft!toji

✪ 𝑹𝑬𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹!! - 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒕 1𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆!

༉‧₊˚. 𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔 toji hated his birthday. but you wanted to make atleast one special for him to remember.

ミ★ 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆. happy birthday toji!, In all consideration this Is my first birthday au and I had fun writing this. to be honest seeing crunchyrolls post about his birthday gave me a writing idea 😭 enjoy my lovely's.

❝ 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯𝑫𝑨𝒀 𝑮𝑰𝑭𝑻 ! ❞ - 𝑻𝑶𝑱𝑰 𝑭𝑼𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑮𝑼𝑹𝑶 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕

⁂ 𝑻𝑶𝑱𝑰 -december 31st. the day he was the born and the day the torture started.

he always hated his birthday considering he never did anything for It. never got a gift or even a birthday cake, this was the day he hated the most which Is why most people didn't bother to get him anything. of course this didn't bother him. something this little wasn't enough to make him bothered in the slightest bit. It was the morning of, waking up to the sun peaking through the all white curtains. stretching his arms out with a big yawn rolling over to wrap his hands around you..only to find your pillow In your place.

he furrowed his eyebrows, lifting the blankets up to see your pillow and not you In your assigned place. he frowned pulling the blankets off his body to stand up going on a search for you, whenever he didn't see you In bed the only place he could think of was either your art studio across from the bedroom or In the living room watching your tv show wrapped In a blanket. he went to the art studio first only to see everything untouched and cold. the next place he went was the living room, again untouched and not bothered, where could you be? his heavy foot steps echoed through the house as he continued to search for you, the last place he could think of was the kitchen. you're probably In there making breakfast or something, he grumbled under his breath making his way towards the kitchen to see It's untouched but something laying on the island.

he raised a brow In confusion walking towards the wrapped box that had a letter on top of It and a plate of his favorite food. his heart sped up as he saw the letter say "open me first!." he flipped the letter open to see your neat hand writing, reading through It.

— happy birthday baby :). I know how much you HATE celebrating your birthday but I wanted to make this one special for you. I of course going all out, I went out my way to get you something I know you'll like. It might give you memories, happy one's I hope and I made your favorite food! I hope you enjoy your gift my love. - y/n

he set down the letter, moving his hand to tear open the wrapped box, opening It to reveal a blade. It was his blade. no actually It was something similar to his old one, as soon as he touched the handle, lifting It up to examine It memories started to flood In. went ti a time where he taught you how to use this blade, to him showing off how he uses It as you watched him on a rock practicing when you guys were teens. so many memories from this exact blade made his heart Increase, he's never had this reaction before. you were standing behind him, with your arms behind you smiling. you were so happy he had a positive reaction Instead of a negative, you didn't know If you should've gotten him that or got him something else but of course shiu advised to get It for him.

you're glad It went as planned.

"you like your gift?." you asked, watching as he turned around with a look that read happiness and hesitation. he was confused, he was happy? he set down the blade walking towards you, Instantly lifting you off the ground giving you a hug. you giggled out of surprised wrapping your legs around his waist hugging him back, he hid his face In the crook of your neck mumbling thank yous In a low voice. you laughed at his reaction, feeling your heart warm for him. "you're such a baby." you teased, raking your hands through his hair hearing a scoff, "you didn't have to do this for me." he said pulled his face back from your neck to look at you being face to face, you rolled your eyes grabbing his cheeks with both hands pecking his lips, "but I did and I wanted to. I wanted you to at least enjoy one birthday out of the 40 others you missed." you pat his shoulders unwrapping your legs, feeling his hold let go of you as you walked towards the kitchen leaving him with furrowed eyebrows. "40? I'm not that old." you smiled shaking your head, "you're getting close~" he rolled his eyes, walking back to the island table picking his blade back up.

"where did you get this from?"

"let's just say I had some help finding the exact one." you smiled, "one more thing. I know how much you dislike going out, especially In the city. so..I decided to prepare something special for you." he raised a brow, "like what?" "I made some snacks yesterday night while you were sleep and I got us a couple of movies to watch, and later tonight I'll cook you whatever you want."

he didn't deserve you.

#⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝒁𝒆𝒓𝒐 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒔 !¡ ✫彡 #black reader #{ 🖋️} writings #anime x black!reader #anime x reader #fluff #jjk x black reader #toji x black reader #happy birthday toji #birthday au #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushiguro #birthday toji

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uncouth-the-fifth · 2 years ago

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Mandy Davis, you punk ass bitch - Sam Winchester/Reader (for #samweek2023)

read it on ao3. masterlist.

Pairing: Sam Winchester/Reader. Tags/Warnings: just fluff! Word Count: 2k Notes: for @ghostsam and @suncaptor's Sam Winchester Appreciation Week :) happy birthday baby boy!!! ily ily ily <;3 Ask to be added to my taglists for future posts!

The alarm clock in Bobby’s guest bedroom was a little busted, so you weren’t crazy confident that it could get you up at midnight like you wanted. True to form, you were hauled ass-first out of sleep a little after two in the morning, and staggered out of bed bleary-eyed and cursing.

What kind of sick freaks tortured themselves like this? Very, very dedicated girlfriends. Just like you’d predicted, the other side of the bed hadn’t been touched. Sam was probably still downstairs, straining his neck over a book and adding to his exhaustive research notes. Totally clueless. You groped around the floor for the spare pajama pants you’d stolen from him ages ago and hopped into them as quietly as you could. The house was serene but not quiet, filled with the natural creaks and sighs of the old wood and the flutter of the loose siding in the breeze. You knew it would be impossible to stay silent on the stupid ancient stairway, but you were determined not to wake Dean. There was no way you were letting him beat you to this like he had last year. Pouring all of your hunter chops into the task, you snuck down the stairs like a goddamn ghost, and made sure to throw Dean’s door two gloating middle fingers in the dark. Eat that, Winchester.

Every inch of the first floor was covered by safe blue darkness, except for a teeny circle of buttery lamplight that you followed to the kitchen. Before you turned the corner, you made bets with yourself about how Sam would be sitting: hunched completely over the kitchen table, that’s for sure, probably rubbing at his aching neck and glaring at what he was reading.

When you were close enough to see, you let your footsteps be heard so as not to scare him. Man, you were good. The same angle you’d pictured and everything.

Sam pried his face away from his research and squinted at his watch, then at you, sheepish. “Oh, hey… sorry. I promised that I’d be up hours ago.”

You knew he was already finding ten ways to beat himself up over it, so you drew yourself towards him with an understanding smile. “No sweat,” you waved it off, “I’m glad you’re still up. It means I get to do this.”

The first chance you got, you pounced on him, sliding up behind his chair and squeezing your arms around his shoulders. Sam made a pleased little sound that quickly became embarrassed—you scooped up his face and started smushing noisy kisses everywhere you could reach. Sam pretended to squirm and groan for your benefit, but he was a lousy actor. Just a few kisses melted him like butter.

As he relaxed, so did you. Sam wrapped a loose hand around your wrist, and you gave him one more deep kiss on the cheek. “Happy birthday, Sammy.”

“So that’s where this is coming from,” Sam realized. He started scrubbing sleepily at his eyes, sighing and laughing without humor, “God, I didn’t even know it was May.”

You hid your evil smile in Sam’s hair. “So… I take it I beat your brother to saying it first?”

“You did,” Sam confirmed. Just by hearing his voice you knew he had on that small, dopey smile that he reserved only for you.

“Fuck yeah,” You hiss in victory. You put on a whole show to get a laugh out of him, pumping your fist and salsaing in a happy circle.

A few tired chuckles seep out of your boyfriend. He sounds beyond exhausted, and you’ve got it so bad for him that just that makes your heart throb with sympathy. Feeling stupid and in love and obsessed with him, you fall down into the closest empty seat and take Sam’s hand, wishing more than anything that the whole world would throw him a party. He deserved so much more than what this shitty world ever gave him. Even the small gift you’d managed to pull together for him didn’t feel like enough.

“I have two gifts for the birthday boy,” you tell him, holding up two important fingers. “Do you want to open them both right now?”

Sam has had a sum total of two good birthdays in his entire life, so he props a hand on his thigh and shrugs. He’s never been very eager to make a thing out of May 2nd. “Whatever you wanna do.”

You make a sound like an incorrect gameshow buzzer. “Wrong! Birthday boy makes the decisions today.”

There it is. Sam cracks an even bigger, shier smile, sinking into his seat a little bit. “Okay, okay,” he relents, “...Can I open them now?”

“Of course you can,” you flirt, and start to feel around under the table. It is your greatest joy in life to mess with Sam, and for a moment you’re flooded with that joy when you find the gift with your hand, pull it loose from where you taped it, and slap it onto the table.

Sam’s face blooms with amused disbelief. He’s been grinding away at these books for hours, and of course, his birthday gift was right under his nose this entire time. “You masterminded all of this, didn’t you?” He guesses, smile growing, “Is the second one under my chair? Behind my ear or something?”

“Close,” you admit, and gesture him in. Dutiful as ever, Sam listens, only to be pulled into a deep, loving kiss. “She’s right here,” you murmur.

It’s a really dorky gift to give him, but more than anything you want this day to be special for him. Underneath all the teasing attitude you’re throwing around, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to do something for him, to make up for the myriad of shitty birthdays he’s survived, and the strength of it could pulverize every monster in the whole damn state. A content hum drains out of him. You kiss him like you could squeeze the fear out of him with your hands, curling your fingers through the tufts of hair at his neck and stroking his scalp.

When you draw back, Sam’s face is bright red. He gives you this bashful look like he’s never in a million years been kissed like that, and instead of getting smug, you just feel plain happy. “I love it,” Sam confesses, “That’s the best birthday gift I’ve ever been given.”

You’re sure that’s not a tough race to beat, but hey, it’s nice to hear. Sam gives your hand a sweet squeeze before scooping your actual, physical gift off the kitchen table. The gift-wrapping resources at Bobby’s house were pretty lacking, so you got creative with some paper bags, twine, and markers, wrapping your gift in the paper and then drawing stars all over it. Sam stares at it for so long that you consider making fun of him, but even the stupid impromptu wrapping paper you came up with is something he’s never had before. You’d kind of hoped that he’d just tear into it, but Sam takes the time to carefully untie your twine knot to keep the paper intact, his long fingers moving delicately along the string.

Packed inside the paper is a set of envelopes. They have teen-you written all over them, from the color of the envelopes, the glitter pen your decorated them with, and the old stickers all over the sides. Some are creased and folded awkwardly, others have smeared pen and peeling stickers. Every single one has Sam’s name written on one side.

“This is your handwriting,” he notices, curious. “...What are these?”

“These,” you enunciate, trying to contain your excitement for his reaction, “are all the love letters I wrote for you in high school.”

Pure delight slowly transforms Sam’s face. His jaw drops, and the second he realizes the absolute treasure trove of glorious teenage embarrassment he’s holding, he slaps the letters protectively to his chest. “No—way,” he gapes, eyes sparkling. “No. There’s no way. There’s no way in hell you’d ever just give me such quality blackmail material like this.”

But you did, because for whatever reason you’re totally into this loser. Those letters are full of the cringiest, sappiest writing one can possibly imagine, back when you’d convinced yourself you were a poetry-writing god and were utterly obsessed with Sam. (Well. Some things never change, but). The two of you hadn’t started dating until much later, so you figured he’d love to see just how long he’s been driving you insane. And, yeah. Blackmail material. If anyone else but Sam ever read these, the galactic weight of your embarrassment would instantly blink you out of existence.

“That’s how much I love you,” you tell him, shrugging. That simple.

The biggest, dorkiest grin takes up his whole face, and you force yourself to relax, happy to know you’ve at least given him this one thing. Without hesitation, he fishes the first letter out of the pile and carefully peels it open. The actual letter is on plain notebook paper, and, to Sam’s utter delight, is also penned in glitter.

He clears his throat and reads the heading. “Ooh. March 6th, 1998.” His smirk is a little too evil for your liking, “We would’ve been in… tenth grade?”

You shove your face in your hands and groan.

“Dear Sam,” he says, in a high, girly voice. You smack him on the shoulder for the shitty impression of you, which just makes the laughter splitting his sides even louder. “Today, I saw Mandy talking to you by your locker—”

“Oh god.”

“She doesn’t even try to hide her stupid crush on you,” Sam reads, biting back giggles. “At least I’m subtle about it.”

Not true. You were not at all subtle about it. God, this is torture… But it’s been a long time since you’ve heard Sam sound this happy.

“I swear, Sammy, I wanted to punch her lights out so bad. She doesn’t even know you, or your family, or what we’re all really like.” Sam throws you a mean little smile at this next part, “Nobody knows you like I do.”

He loves to fuck with you just as much as you love to fuck with him, so, of course, this sends Sam into a full-body fit. He’s bent over the table wheezing for breath just a couple minutes later. You try to hold on to your shame, you really do, but he’s just too damn cute. Sam never laughs like this anymore.

You stuff your blazing hot face into his shoulder, pouting. “Are you happy, now that you’ve humiliated me?”

Sam slouches back in his chair, his whole face bright with humor. He’s so happy that he pulls you out of your chair and loops you into his lap, where you can feel every bit of his bassy laughter seeping through your back. A big, long arm seals around your waist and keeps you close to him, and while you’re distracted by his warmth and hands and cologne, he’s trapped you.

“I am,” Sam confesses, and it’s even more embarrassing how your whole body floods with butterflies. “Think you could keep reading these to me? I wanna hear them in your voice.”

Pfft. Okay. Whatever. With his stupid cute face. “Sam…” I warn.

“Authenticity! And hey,” he budges you, “I thought the birthday boy makes the decisions today?”

You make a face, just to remind him who he’s testing here. But he’s giving you the same pretty, boyish smile you wrote about in these letters a hundred times, the tension in his body gone, and the whole world is quiet just for the two of you. And yeah, it is his fucking birthday.

Sighing, you find the spot where Sam left off. He thanks you with some kisses to your shoulder that make you consider writing poetry about him all over again, and the two of you snuggle close.

“Sleep with both eyes open, Mandy Davis, you punk ass bitch. I know where you live!”

taglist: @samssluttybangs @cookiemumster1 @lacilou @cevans-winchester @leigh70 @seraphimluxe @emily-roberts @emme-looou @aloneatpeace @williamstop @ornella0910 @chaoticshepardplaid @dakota-dream @lcvecstiel @goghkiss @spnexploration @stoneyggirl2 @urm0mmmbbg @mulattomoon

#samweek2023 #sam winchester appreciation week #sam winchester week #sam winchester #uncouthspn #user uncouth #spn #supernatural #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x reader

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blues824 · 2 years ago

Note

Azul, Trey, Jamil and Rollo (if you write for him ofc, replace him with Rook if you don't) getting a beautifully decorated cake from their s/o as a gift for a job well done because they're jelly that she bakes cakes for the first years whenever they get something done right?

Here's an example (https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/beautiful-wedding-cake-newlyweds-wedding-nautical-style-birthday-cake-banquet_199620-8510.jpg?w=2000)

Female Reader, as per request. IMAGES ARE NOT MINE. I FOUND THEM ON PINTEREST. Also, why not throw in Rook as well?

Trey Clover

Cake that you give him:

He has seen you give Ace and Deuce beautifully made cakes after every overblot as a thank you for their help, and he couldn’t help but be at least a little jealous because he’s the one who had to deal with Riddle way before them.

What was worse was that you had been declining every single invitation of his to go hang out somewhere. He knew that as the Prefect who had to deal with everyone’s problems that you were probably very busy, but he was missing his beloved.

One day, he received a text from you telling him to come over, and he all but ran to your dormitory. He was not about to pass this up, even if Riddle told him not to. He got to your front door within ten minutes, and when you opened the door he pulled you into a hug. He just missed you so freaking much.

You led him over to the counter while apologizing for never making time for him. You revealed a very whimsical and odd cake, and you told him that you were making this for him as both an apology and a thank you. His heart melted at the gesture, and he took the slice that you cut out for him.

He took a piece on a fork and held it to your mouth for you to take a bite. He laughed at your shocked face, thinking you were just too adorable. You decided to get payback by smearing some cake on his cheek and licking it off, leaving him flustered in return.

Azul Ashengrotto

Cake that you give him:

He was definitely jealous that his girlfriend was giving beautifully decorated cakes to the first years of all people. Everyday, he balanced schoolwork with running a Lounge, so he should be more than deserving of a cake.

He grew to be so pouty around you that you could mistake him for either of the tweels. He was acting very immature, but you found it adorable. He was very clingy, and you thought that if he were in his merform he would probably cling to you with all of his tentacles.

Then there was one fateful day. You asked if he could come over to Ramshackle because you had a surprise for him, and he told Jade to watch out for the Lounge as he needed to go somewhere. He didn’t bother to specify where he was going, as he would be subject to torturous teasing.

When you had opened the door, you had let him in and led him to the kitchen, where an ocean-themed cake sat upon the counter. You explained that you made a cake for him because you noticed how hard he’s been working and that he deserved a cake that reminded you of the tie between the two of you. The cake was of the shore, which connected the land and the sea: you and him, respectively.

He almost didn’t want to eat it because it was so beautiful, but he started with the seashells which were made of chocolate, painted to look like they were real. The effort you put into this singular cake almost made the cecaelia tear up as he laid his head on your shoulder, finally feeling appreciated.

Jamil Viper

Cake that you made him:

He has seen you being tagged on posts of the first years that contained pictures of cakes that you had made. Each was elaborately decorated, and you were usually in the comments telling them good job and thank you for assisting in the overblots. Sure, Jamil felt bad for being one cause of stress for you, but surely you must have forgiven him by now… right?

Maybe it was because he was busy all the time? He thought you understood that as a servant of Kalim and the Vice Housewarden of Scarabia when he asked you to be his girlfriend, so that couldn’t be it. One of his dorm members pointed out that he was about to burn the curry.

Then, he got a text from you telling him to go over to Ramshackle. He told one of the other members to take over for dinner and that something came up as he made his way to your dorm. Eventually, he found himself already at your door and ringing the doorbell.

The second you opened the door, he hugged you out of fear that you were breaking up with him. He knows that he hasn’t been there for you recently, but you wouldn’t break up with him, right? You gave him a kiss on the cheek and you had a smile on your face, so it looked promising. You led him into the kitchen and showed him your surprise. It was a red cake with gold designs.

You made this for him? To tell him good job? He had to repay you for making such an elaborate cake. What was your favorite food? He would make it for you in return. You spent so much time on this dessert just for him, and he couldn’t go without making sure you felt appreciated as well.

Rook Hunt

Cake you give him:

The cake that you gave to Epel was one to cause envy around the entirety of the dorm, and the first year made sure that no one was given a single slice. Not even the baker’s significant other, the hunter himself. He wasn’t one to get jealous easily, but seeing the dessert that you probably spent hours on given to the first year was enough to tip him over the edge.

He tried to spend more time with you. He put a lot more effort into your relationship, his academics, being the Vice Housewarden, his archery, so that you might notice how hard he is working. If only he knew that you had noticed and were actively making a cake for him as a surprise.

At his usual archery spot, he noticed a note on his target. He read it and it was you asking him to come over, and he was more than happy to go. He was about skipping and dancing around to Ramshackle. His beloved Y/N asked him to go over~

When he reached the run-down dormitory building, he smoothed his clothes and hair before ringing the doorbell, and upon you opening he dipped you down into a passionate kiss that left you out of air. He pulled you up, and you took his hand to lead him to the kitchen.

There, he laid his eyes upon the most beautiful cake he has ever seen, based off of the Fairest Queen. Oh, his darling Y/N made it all for him? He’s so honored. You even cut the first piece for him, but he thinks you should have the first bite. So, he held the piece of cake on his fork up to your mouth. You didn’t eat much of the cake because he was too busy tasting the flavor upon your lips.

Rollo Flamm

Cake you give him:

He has seen the cake you designed for the masquerade ball, and he was impressed that a magicless human had that sort of skill. He asked you about it, and you had said that you make cakes like this all the time for when your friends do a particularly good job. Now, he was a bit jealous, and he didn’t even know you that well.

Now, Rollo wasn’t jealous of the cake. He was jealous that you spent enough time with the first years to know when they did a good job. So, he resolved to get to know you better, and he made sure to get all the student council work done before doing so.

Then, he saw a note at his locker. You were inviting him to a local bakery that you were volunteering at for the Festival of Flowers. He made it there, and you had a smile on your face as you took his hands into yours and led him to the back. The sudden physical contact made him blush so hard.

There, he saw a cake that you made. It was of a carousel, and a very elegant one at that. He was shocked that you made that in such a short amount of time, and with all of the detail you put into it as well! Oh, it was all for him? Well, if that was the case, it would only be right of him to both cut and serve you the first slice, ‘as was the custom’. It really wasn’t, he just felt as though you deserved to taste the fruit of your labor first. You made his heart swoon in ways he never thought it would. If only you weren’t returning home so soon…

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zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u · 4 months ago

Text

So You Want To Know Garu & Karu (Timeline Edition)

Very loosely inspired by Idololivine's Olivine post and Halfeti's Edmond post. Update: here's Phaerlax's post about WRITING Garu&Karu

Lore spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1BSTEdunb5PwVkhcuoEkaFVXUIk02FCnsoYkhL8yB9pA/edit?gid=221633315#gid=221633315

This is also going to double as a directory of all my Garu/Karu analysis posts.

Note: I did not play every 2022/2023 event, so if Garu/Karu had a tiny cameo in other events, I might have missed it even when watching recordings of past events. Please let me know if I'm missing something or have something wrong.

Warning for many spoilers & also trauma!

This timeline was last updated when Ch 14 pt2 was released.

This is an attempt at a complete timeline of Garu & Karu's history, that we know of. I've written quite a few meta about Garu/Karu, and thought we also need a concrete "these are the canon facts of their history".

Pre-Eiden Arrival:

Assume all these dates are before from Eiden's arrival in Klein.

[25-30 years ago before Eiden arrived in Klein] Garu was born to a nomad wolf spirit pack with a gemstone in his throat (Misty Vale, Ch 14)

[20-25 years ago] Garu, still a cub (in Earth normal wolf years, that would mean 3.5~ months old, unsure about Klein wolf spirit years), is kidnapped by some humans that eventually brought him to the Council of Sorcery (Ch 14).

[20-25 years ago] Kolt and his research team force Garu to transform into a wolf yokai/human form. Karu is formed as a DID trauma protective response. (Ch 14)

[23 years ago] Huey disappears, Eiden is born

[20-23 years ago] Kolt & his team continue to torture Karu, while Garu is dormant during the experiments, Cashel takes care of their injuries. (Ch 14)

[20-23 years ago] Rei returns to Council of Sorcery, Cashel catches him up with what's going on. The church has some kind of plan for Kolt's experiment (aka Garu/Karu), so 2 scientists on Kolt's team remove Garu's gemstone, Karu kills them, Rei & Cashel escape with Karu. (Ch 14)

[10-20 years ago] Garu/Karu and Cashel/Gramps are hiding in a cabin in the Dead Zone, killing monsters, taking care of people who get lost in the Dead Zone. At one point, Cashel/Gramps nearly drowns and never recovers from the illness. (Ch 7)

[3-10 years ago] Gramps dies, leaving Garu/Karu to wander Dead Zone alone. They do also find a cave for their main hiding spot. They also meet Blade occasionally in the Dead Zone. (Ch 7, AxBxO)

[Year Eiden arrives] Eiden meets Karu 1st, then Garu in the Dead Zone. Eiden proposes the human slave plan & Karu accepts. (Ch 7)

At this point, I don't know where the timeline is, because we don't know when the events are taking place amongst the main chapters, so I'll split it into sections.

Main story timeline:

Ch 8: Garu/Karu meets the rest of the gang and moves into Aster's mansion.

Ch 13: Garu reunites with Rei & co, they travel to Wood territory to find Kuya & Quincy because the Wood territory is in danger.

Ch 14: Karu makes Rei promise not to tell Garu his history, in part 2, he does anyways.

Events/SSR timeline:

Master's Gift: revealed that Karu idolizes/occasionally visits Kuya

Mystic Banquet/Endless Banquet SSR: G/Karu are not invited to the yokai banquet because they're under 100 years old and not as powerful as Yakumo. Kuya takes them and Eiden along to be his attendants. Shenanigans happen. Note: In the lore document, it says that Garu produced purple flames during his performance. That was actually Kuya that created the flames.

Idol Fest: Karu is a fan of Blade's idol persona.

Klein Star: Karu and Dante hunt a wild animal as a birthday present for Eiden.

Eerie Escapade/Howling Cyclone: It is revealed that Yakumo reads adventure stories to them, Garu likes drawing pictures, and shenanigans happen.

Silver Miracle: Garu sticks up for Kuya when the rest of the clan assumes Kuya is endangering Eiden with Night Crane shenanigans.

AxBxO/Forgotten Fruit: Shenanigans happen inside a book AU. Garu officially asks out Eiden to be his commander/master. Karu admits that he doesn't hate Eiden in a very backhanded way.

Misty Vale/Ethereal Guardian: Garu finds how hints about his past, so we can assume this event happened before ch 14 for sure.

Frozen Echoes/Binary Starlight: Echo spirits shenanigans happen including Karu getting kidnapped for 2/3 of the event. Garu & Karu perform with Edmond & Quincy for the Festival, Aster sells merch with everyone's face. Karu is scouted and then auditions to be a model, shenanigans, he gets some fans, and then ends up being a model/promoter for one of the restaurants.

Garu/Karu make cameos in Journey to a Nu World and Fancy Capricio, but they're AU/dreamland events and therefore not happening in the real (Klein) world. The only thing that happens in the real (Klein) world is that they join the clan in the hot springs.

Desert of Dusk/Stampeding Adventurer: Garu goes with Eiden to a town outside of Solaria while Dante is investigating it. Shenanigans. We can assume this event happened before ch14 because Garu has another confusing flashback.

Dessert Island Knockout/Beguiling Windchaser: Garu wins round 1 of the sports competition, and then together with Dante & Quincy wins the final flag of the whole contest. Garu is fast enough to be able to dodge both Dante and Quincy's (paintball/fire) attacks. Karu is apparently afraid of ghosts now, and can be easily fooled by human scent tricks.

This post will be updated as future events/chapters occur!

All my Garu/Karu analysis posts:

#nu carnival #garu #karu #nu carnival meta #nu carnival analysis #analysis #meta #personal

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year ago

Text

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 20 here //Series Masterlist

Chapter 21

Summary : You meet Frigga and she makes it clear that she doesn't like you.

Warning: 18+, more Sex, smutty soft smut, mention of stalking, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, praise kink, soft loki, sub loki (it's not mentioned but everytime they're having sex he's always using a condom )

"Okay open your eyes now ..This looks good right?" He uncovered his eyes and looked at the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid his eyes on. You.

"You look ethereal my darling"

"Awwn" you melted for a moment only to go back to stressing about the dress again.

"No but seriously, is this good for Thor's birthday party? I mean is this classy enough?"

"Define classy" he chuckled so you crossed your arms

"Why don't you have a look in the mirror?" you mumbled as you lowered down the dress from your body, you had purchased it today because Loki wanted to take you to Thor's birthday celebration, it was a full length skinny cocktail dress that seemed elegant enough or at least it did to you. Of course nobody still had any idea about you two so you were going to be there as Jane's Friend Stacy again.

"What about the gift? What could one possibly gift the god of thunder? I mean i gave a crappy dress to Jane on her birthday" You rambled on and on and when you looked at him he was just smiling as if you were the best thing in the whole nine realms.

You had also decided to tell your mother about him soon and this relationship, you knew she'd be mad but you were done hiding from her and lying to her.

As you took the dress off and stood there in your lingerie he titled his head and gawked at your figure shamelessly. It's been three weeks since you had gotten back together and he couldn't have been happier with you, everything about you made his heart skip a beat. He couldn't remember if he had ever felt such thrill and satisfaction at the same time in his life before. Satisfaction wasn't in his nature after all but with you he felt completely sated in every way a man could be sated. He loved being around you and inside you, he enjoyed having to listen to you talk for hours, every little thing you did made him fall in love even deeper than the last day.

He walked towards you and hugged you from behind before his lips latched onto your neck. You sighed and leaned your head down on his shoulder, you were a nervous wreck at the moment.

"I know you're apprehensive darling but like I have said before to you, you do not need to impress anyone there" you hummed as he said that.

"I am sorry ..i just want to blend in with those people Lo"

"I'm afraid that is impossible because you're going to stand out no matter how much you try to blend in" you turned around and got on your tiptoes to wrap your arm around his neck, his sweet words always made you feel giddy.

"I love youuu"

"I know you do"

He placed his palms under your butt and easily lifted you up before he wrapped your legs around his waist. Taking you to the sofa instead of the bed he laid you down and got on top of you.

"You're the sweetest, kindest and the most gentle man i have ever known..you know"

"So are you" you laughed as he said that and it made him smile too.

"Mmmm and you're so hot, so pretty and so sexyyyyyyy" his cheeks flushed as you said that, he always blushed at the praises as if he wasn't used to hearing such things about himself.

"Thank you princess"

"And –" before you could say something else he pressed his lips onto yours and you were just starting to enjoy the moment when you heard a knock on your door and flinched, since that horrible incident you have just been extra paranoid.

"It must be Mrs Geller Darling, no need to be afraid" he caressed your cheek softly so you nodded. You got out of his clutches to get dressed as you were in just your underwear and bra.

For a week after Ronald was arrested Loki spent every night with you but he wasn't able to get out of work related commitment one day so you spent the night at Mrs Geller but of course you couldn't just intrude her privacy like that every night and had to stay in your apartment when Loki couldn't make it even though you didn't want to be alone.

He stayed on call until you had fallen asleep, you needed to have your window shut, blinds off, the lights on and the sound of his voice on the phone speaker to put you through sleep but it was slowly starting to get better. He was gone, you had nothing to worry about. You did have a scary dream though where you saw Ronald again and in the dream you had called Stephen late at night to tell him that you were being stalked. You never understood why you were having such dreams about Stephen, maybe it was because you always thought about how disastrous that meeting was and it somehow always remained in your subconscious mind.

Next day as you reached the tower for Thor's birthday there were several people just staring at you and that made you even more anxious than usual. You met Jane as soon as you had reached and she was wearing the dress you had gifted her on the birthday.

"Y/n thank you for this, I put it on yesterday and I just knew I didn't need anything else" she told you excitedly and your eyes teared up, you didn't say anything but hugged her and then you reminded her that she was the prettiest woman at the party.

Thor and Loki weren't at the party, you hadn't seen Loki since Thor had brought you here, he did text you though that he'd be there soon. Though, you had no idea why Thor was missing from his own birthday party. You made your way to the bar and ordered an orange juice, just a minute later a man sat next to you and he ordered a drink for himself.

"Having fun?" You turned your head and you saw James. Loki had told you about him. Apparently he was the Captain's old buddy from the war time and the Winter Soldier the team had gone to retrieve a few days ago.

"I am trying" you chuckled so he smiled. Loki had also told you that he was going through intense therapy sessions almost every other day.

"What's your name? You seem familiar" he said to you.

"I do? I'm Stacy btw" you lied to him so he shrugged.

"James"

"I know"

He kept staring at you and it made you feel a bit awkward.

"Where are you from?" He asked you so you looked at him,

"I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota..been there?" You didn't know if he understood what you had said but you noticed that he seemed affected by your response.

"Minnesota? Any chance you were outside that fancy restaurant la blaire some time ago??" He asked you so you raised your brow before you remembered something. That was the restaurant where you had your first and last meeting with Stephen.

"I might have why?"

"Yeah pretty sure I hit you with my bike there a few months ago..I was confused at first but now I'm hundred percent sure" you looked at him shocked as he said that.

"Just so you know I did come back to see if you were fine but your boyfriend had it all covered so I …nice to meet you" he grabbed his drink from the bar before he walked away from you. He was the one to hit you with his bike? What was he doing there? What were the odds that it was him out of all the people that had hit you? You felt a tap on your shoulder and assuming it was James again you were ready to go off on him but you looked to the side and it was Loki instead. He was dressed in a black suit with a white button up shirt underneath, he hadn't straightened his long curls tonight and the look had somehow made him million times hotter.

"Hello miss, I saw you from a distance and couldn't help myself from approaching such a beauty" you smiled as he said that. Okay you can play the game.

"Hello sir, big fan of yours, I'm Stacy by the way" you brought your hand out so he grabbed it and gave it a formal kiss.

"So tell me Stacy, once the feast is over would you like to share a night with me in my chamber?" You gasped as he said that.

"Misster misster you are naughtayyyy" he smiled and looked around but some of the Avengers were looking at him so he walked away from you and you saw him approaching a random woman at the party and he started to flirt with her the same way and then he did the same with a few more, all of them seemed overly excited by his presence. Ofcourse, you knew he was doing it to divert the attention away from you but it still bothered you to see him flirt with other women, he kept it lowkey though, no other invitations had been sent to spend a night in his chamber, only you got it..

A few minutes later you spotted Thor along with Jane and the whole room had gotten silent all of a sudden, you looked at him and he had someone else by his side, he had his mother Frigga along with him.

Frigga the queen of Asgard.

You recognised her immediately because you had seen her on the news when Loki was hiding in your apartment.

Why didn't Loki tell you she was going to be here? You looked at him for answers but he seemed equally surprised by her appearance, his eyes were teary, there was that puppy look on his face that you loved and hated, depending on the situation, he also seemed paler than usual.

Thor introduced her to everyone and she was as elegant as you had thought her to be whenever Loki had talked about her. He was frozen in his spot and you were about to go comfort him when you saw Frigga approaching him.

"My sweet prince, have you not missed your mother?" She hugged him and you noticed how he immediately melted in her arms, he hadn't seen her in so long and he was still angry about the lies she had made him believe all his life but you could tell he had missed her motherly love and care for him. Your eyes met with Thor and he seemed happy too. You walk towards Jane and she seemed nervous too but she was excited as well.

"Did you meet her?" You asked her and she had a huge grin on her face.

"I did, I think she likes me, she gave me this" she showed you a bracelet on her wrist and it made you smile. It also looked expensive as fuck.

"This is gorgeous. Did you know she was coming here?"

"No, Thor didn't either, she just gave us all a surprise "

You sighed as she said that, well at least you weren't the only one who had no clue of her visit, if you knew you'd have prepared yourself better.

"May I have a word with you in private?" Frigga asked Loki and took him to the balcony of the lounge. You saw them from a distance, several emotions were at play here, there was crying and then they started to smile and hugged each other again but he seemed at peace and that's what mattered the most because you knew even though he hadn't said much, deep down he was struggling with this for a long time. You noticed Loki approaching you and he looked around before he held your hand and took you to the balcony. He made sure to cast an illusion so other people won't be able to see you interacting with him or Frigga.

"Mother this is y/n" he introduced you and all of a sudden you had no idea what to do or say. This wasn't your first day out in public as a human but that's exactly how you felt in the moment. You had never met a queen before so there was that.

"Hello Mrs Frigga" she raised one of her brows and you thought you had offended her so you corrected yourself "Your highness, it's an honor to meet you" you mumbled nervously again and you felt Loki's palm rubbing against your back in a comforting manner.

"Hello dear" she finally smiled but it didn't reach her eyes you could tell "Loki darling would you go bring for us something to drink? I would like to have a few words with her till then" he nodded and your heart sped faster than ever, he gave your hand a squeeze before he kissed your cheek and walked away. You smiled at her but if you were being honest to yourself you were so close to shitting your pants.

"My son is very fond of you" she said.

"Well i hope so" you chuckled and she nodded "I'm very fond of him, he is one of his kind, he's a gem" she smiled again and that made you feel a little relaxed but the feeling wasn't going to last for long.

"I know dear, he lost himself for a while but I could see him making his way back to his roots. Once his punishment here on midgard ends we would like to return the people of Asgard both of their prince's in all of their glory, his father is awaiting them both" you nodded as she said that.

"Did he ever inform you that he was betrothed to the Princess of Vanaheim, Atrishia?" She asked you so you nodded again, the way she wasn't even looking at you while talking to you was making you feel like a peasant in front of her which you probably were but it would have been nice if she had acknowledged your presence.

"He mentioned her once"

"She is still waiting for him to return" your eyes teared up as she said that "I truly appreciate that you protected my son and helped him come out with the truth about Thanos but I need you to understand that the union of marriage in Asgard is amongst the equals, you are not his equal, you are not a princess of your realm now are you?" You looked down as she said that, you always felt insecure about him choosing you because you knew he deserved the whole world and that you'd never be able to give him that.

"No but I can assure you that I love him and he loves me" she smiled as you said that and she caressed your head in a patronizing manner.

"You are naive my dear. I know my son fairly well, he gets deeply invested at first but it's going to fade soon, it is not going to last. Do you really think you're the first woman to own his heart this way? Do you think you possess what it takes for a man such as him to stay interested in you for long?" You just continued to look down as tears spilled from your eyes, you wiped them completely as you noticed Loki at the distance approaching you two.

"Think about what I said, it is for your own benefit that I am saying this" She said to you so you nodded. As Loki came near you two, Frigga took the drink from his hand and he gave you yours and then she circled her arm around his so he'd take her inside.

"Darling come…it's getting cold" he brought his hand forward for you so you looked at him.

"I'll be right back…I just..i have to make a call" his brows furrowed as you said that, he had a feeling something had happened between you and his mother but he didn't want to create a scene until he had the full information. As he walked away with her you turned around and placed the glass on the ledge of the balcony. You felt too nauseous to want to drink or eat anything. You remembered how happy Jane was after meeting her and you were happy for her but at the same time you felt bad about yourself. She was a mortal as well so it was just you that she didn't approve of.

After a few minutes you composed yourself and went inside again.

Loki looked at your sullen face and he had a feeling Frigga had said something to you, he saw how joyous lady Jane seemed as compared to you and his doubts were confirmed. He just hoped you won't allow her words to affect you or this relationship with him. He also noticed the Dalia approaching you and he remembered how she had hurt you last time so before she could bother anymore, he confronted her instead.

"Loki" she spoke his name but her eyes welled up as she felt an excruciating pain in her head, she also felt extremely sick all of a sudden.

"You feel that Dalia? Trust me I can make it worse and I can make it last forever so you will never feel happiness again. I have never retorted for the things you did to her until now but let me just warn you that I won't tolerate you disrespecting my woman any longer"

"I'm sorry..it won't happen again" she mumbled, her voice came out shrill as she was unable to speak because of the pain she was feeling, she felt pins and needles probing every inch of her skin.

"Are we clear now?"

"Yes just make it stop please I'll never bother her again" she begged him so he smiled and stopped messing with her head immediately before he walked away from her.

He did notice her running out of the lounge immediately after that and he couldn't have been happier. The party was amazing but after that conversation you didn't feel worthy of being around these people especially not the queen herself. Frigga wasn't able to stay for long so he bid her goodbye before he grabbed your hand and decided to take you to his chamber.

"Loki I'd like to go back to my apartment please, I have to work tomorrow" you said to him on the way so he nodded and went back to the party to request Thor to drop you both back to your place. You felt awful that you were troubling him on his birthday but you couldn't just stay here even a minute longer..

As soon as you were back to your apartment Loki finally confronted you.

"What did she say to you?" He asked you so you sighed and went into the kitchen after you took your heels off to grab yourself a glass of water, your throat felt dry.

"Nothing Loki, she was nice..she said nothing" He bit on his cheeks as you clearly lied to him "You should have gone back lo, it's your brother's birthday celebration, Jane told me they were going to stay up all night, get drunk and play games"

You walked past him to get to the closet but he grabbed your arm and pulled you into him.

"We promised each other that we will communicate about these things, remember?" Your eyes teared up again as he said that. You didn't want to hurt him because of what she had said, not at all.

"She doesn't like me...surpriiiiseee"

He was offended by the notion, ofcourse he was, he couldn't even imagine anyone not adoring you the way he did.

"It doesn't matter to me, your mother doesn't like me"

"Lokiii…i ..that princess is still waiting for you, she's waiting for you, she was engaged to you and she's still waiting" you tried to pull away from him but he was holding onto you tightly.

"I told my mother that it can not happen now, i have moved on and i have found what I have been looking for" he said sternly so you chuckled.

"Really you have been looking for this? A simpleton like me? Don't you want a princess or something?" You got out of his grip somehow and walked to your closet in order to avoid crying in his face, you always felt as if you weren't enough for him and people telling you the same again and again didn't help the situation. He closed the distance between you two and turned you around before he pulled you into his chest again. Cupping your cheeks he made you look at him right in the eyes, his thumbs wiped the tears rolling down your cheeks

"I have a princess, i have you and it's hurting me that you're being so disrespectful towards my princess" your eyes welled up even more as he said that "What happened to us not giving up on each other no matter what hmm?"

"I'm sorry..I'm sorry, it just hurts"

He latched his lips onto yours and picked you up from the floor. The dress made it difficult for you to wrap your legs around him so he immediately laid you down on the bed. He didn't stop kissing you and neither did you as you took his coat off and then the shirt followed. You knew he loved you and whatever she said about him being infatuated wasn't true but you still felt scared of losing his interest in you sooner or later.

He turned you around on your front to unzip the dress, he loved doing that apparently.

Pulling the straps of your dress down he freed your breasts from the confinement of your dress, one of his arms snaked around your shoulders as he sucked kisses on the exposed skin of your neck, pulling your dress up he ripped your underwear in half using a minimum force and you felt him entering you slowly.

He turned your head so he could kiss your mouth while he thrusted in and out of you slowly, the sex was passionate and romantic, it was needy and that's exactly what you needed from him. He pulled out, turned you over on your back again and he quickly had your legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked in and out of you again, the dress was pooled around your waist and it's not that he didn't enjoy the sight of your naked body underneath him but just something about you looking so disheveled always made him so feral.

"I'm sorry I was being disrespectful" you cupped his cheeks as you mumbled, your voice came out all broken from the sex as well as how you were feeling before he had started to fuck these insecurities out of you, literally.

"Mmmhmm i do not care what anyone says darling, I just need you to trust me and I need you to know that we have each other, i got you sweet princess..look at me" his fingers clutched into your hair as he kissed you softly "You have me, you are not going to lose me" you nodded and started to move your hips slowly, the gesture made him quicken his own pace.

"Keep going like that darling..so good" he moaned as the sensation began to grow in the pit of his stomach "I need you my princess. I had no will to live until I had found you, you do not have any clue that my soul is always restless when I am away from you, constantly yearning untill I have your whole existence in my arms again"

His words had completely sated your fears for a moment. You didn't want to think what his mother thought about you anymore.

"Mmmm I need you lo..my baby..god please" you sat up along with him, your mouth stayed on his as you kissed him passionately and then you laid him down on the bed underneath you, he smiled as you sat on his cock and took him deeper slowly, the dress was obstructing his view so you pulled it over your head, he craned his neck up to get a better view of your cunt stretching around his cock and the sight made him moan in desperation.

You placed your hands down on his chest as you rode him slowly, you felt one of his hands squeeze your butt while the other one played with your clit.

"Is this good?" You asked him and he opened his mouth to say something but only a grunting moan came out, how come he got to look this way? He had no right to look so pretty underneath you.

"You feel so good baby, such a perfect cock you have"

You mumbled as you leaned over him, your fingers brushed the hair behind his ear and you caressed his cheek with your fingers, the look on his face had softened instantly with the touch,

"Darling please" he mumbled so you smiled at him.

"What do you need pretty baby?"

"Keep moving please..pleassse my goddess" he perched himself on his elbows so he was closer to you and you curled your fingers around his nape to kiss him passionately, you sucked on his tongue slowly, back and forth, over and over again, the erotic gesture made him twitch inside you.

"Mmm you're such a pretty babyboy I love you so much" As soon as the words left your mouth you felt him fall apart for you.

"Oh my nornsss!! Ohh I'm gonna cum.. I'm sorry my goddess ..im sorrry"

He collapsed on the bed, his back arched and he thrusted his hips harshly into you as he came around you, hitting your sweet spot that made you lose it too, his cock twitched inside you and you were both so loud that you felt afraid Mrs Geller would come knocking on your door to see if you were okay or not.

Your body went limp on his chest as you felt exhausted, the orgasm took everything out of you.

"God that was… godddd"

He chuckled as you said that, his fingers caressed your scalp softly, he had never come so hard in his life before and he had plenty of sex before so that was something. Maybe it was the way you kind of went so dominating on him out of nowhere, he enjoyed that alot.

"Did you call me goddess?" You put your head up to look at him and that blush didn't go unnoticed.

"Did you call me babyboy?" You giggled as he said that.

"Pretty babyboy"

"I love you" he cupped your cheeks and kissed you as tenderly as he could, fornicating with you wasn't enough for him, it never was, he needed the whole thing, he craved the cuddles and the sweet confessions of love after the act.

"I love you my sweet baby..come here ..let me bite you and eat you" you growled as you snuggled him and he giggled in response.

Yes, he needed all this and more and he only needed it from you and nobody else, the fact that his own mother had disrespected the woman he wanted to build a future with had hurt him to the core. He did feel responsible for the situation Atrishia was in so he knew he had to go make amends with her and tell her that he had moved on, he had found his mate in you and he wasn't going to leave you under any circumstances. He didn't want to be the reason someone was in pain but he decided to think about it later, for now he just wanted to bask in the love, this pure love that he had stumbled upon somehow.

Once you were down from the orgasmic high you took a shower with him and when you both came out you put on the dress again which confused him.

"We should go join his birthday celebration, I'm sure he wants us there lo" he smiled as you said that and took out his phone to call Thor.

"I'll fix my face before we go" you cupped his cheeks to kiss him before you pulled away and looked at him for a second before you kissed him again "Godd i would die for you…I love you so much" you walked away as you mumbled. His smile widened and eyes teared up as he watched you hurrying with your makeup process. Then he mumbled in his mouth as he adored you from the distance.

"And i will kill for you my princess"

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Note : He's just being sentimental, too precious to kill anyone isn't he? Story will pick up from the next chapter, this was kind of a filler with some information here and there but I hope it wasn't boring 🥰

Taglist (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72 @nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @greep215 @yallgotkik @obscureenigmatic @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30 @sunnixart @nikkig496-blog @frozenhuntress67 @qardasngan @rosecentury @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @hrefna-the-raven @jennyggggrrr

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #post avengers loki #canon divergent au #soft loki

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theviceadmiralswife · 6 months ago

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The vice admirals and their bedrooms

Salute recruits and soldiers to this sassy Saturday ⚓️🌊⚓️🌊⚓️🌊⚓️🌊⚓️🌊⚓️

Ever wondered what the bedrooms of the vice admirals look like , fear no more I'm here to spill the beans. Buckle up folks. For this post I have 3 vice admirals and one admiral as bonus. Enjoy

The vice admirals wife over and out

Doberman:

Oh hubby of mine ♥️ his hobby for the maritime spills right into the bedroom

White and navy are in our bedroom and everywhere there's a subtle hint at his career in the navy, with a bit of coastal feeling to it, since I can't stop collecting shells. For practical reasons of course the chest trunk.... this where Doberman hides ropes, for when I have been naughty. And important a deskbon his side of the bed.

And yes these bedpost seem old fashioned but heck Doberman makes good use of them, wink wink , nudge, nudge think of ropes.

Onigumo:

Oh shit why do you ask....??? He's a sadist so guess what his bedroom looks like, black, greys and red. Modern furniture, hardly any personal items. And essentially his bed is dungeon and Onigumos tools are nearby

Essentially his bedroom is a torture chamber and Onigumo ain't hiding that. He makes you beg to be bound to his bed. Metal and leather are the dominant features in his bed. It will take plenty of submissive love and at least 2 years before Onigumo allows you to at least put up a picture of you two, any decor item has somehow to fit to this dungeon style bedroom so no flowery picture frames keep it modern, like a stainless steel frame. One thing Onigumo, though, allows you to add is the assortment of harnesses and gags and collars which you get as gifts for your birthday and so on.

Stainless:

A man of of style he is into the imperial African style of bedroom. That sort you'd see in older Hollywood movies. He loves the mixture of white and dark wood. He likes this because of his exquisiteness and cleanliness. A fan of white & cream colours.

This liking he definitely has inherited from his esteemed marine family.

He definitely appreciates the lightness and the fact this style is ideal for him to go romantic with roses and candles to seduce you and you won't regret it.

His bedroom is Stainless vacation place, he will literally stay in it with you all weekend. Breakfast in bed, massages he will treat you like a queen. Definitely a place where Stainless retreats to and because its spacious enough he will dance with you completely rolelaying beingbon vacation.

BONUS. ADMIRAL LEVEL

KIZARU

Oh my where to start with Kizaru... luxurious, his bedroom is simply that. Simple but sophisticated, stylish but on the minimalist side. He is in favour of bright tones, whites and cream , though he wouldn't mind if you put on bright red or pink sateen bedding he actually laugh at it and be all kinky.

Some books and one photograph are present and yes lights, various styles. Keeps the desk out of his bedroom, no work allowed here only pleasure.

He definitely would be having decorative moodlights on the ceiling and a huge mirror.

Very important a giant glass door or extra large windows which Kizaru forgets to close when he has sex with you, yeah all of Marineford needs to hear your moans.

#one piece marines #marineford #marines #one piece vice admirals #one piece admiral scenarios #vice admiral onigumo #viceadmiraldoberman #admiral kizaru #one piece kizaru #kizaru borsalino #vice admiral Stainless #one piece

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veliseraptor · 8 months ago

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happy birthday!! top 5 pete or vegaspete moments for the ask game?

ooh let's see. went with mostly vegaspete for this one

1. temple scene. I was already on board with vegaspete before this scene but this was the first one that I really went "oh ho ho ho ho" about. The way Vegas is messing with Pete so deliberately, Pete's discomfort, it's just tasty. Highly enjoyable scene particularly for how casual Vegas is about it. He's toying with Pete and they both know it.

2. highly erotic torture scene. I still kind of can't believe that this was a thing that happened on a TV show that I watched with my own eyes, but boy did it make me lose my mind the first time around (and also the second time around, and every time I think about it). It's the first time Pete really gets revealed for the fucked up little creature that he is as he stares his own destruction in the face and laughs, and Vegas's sheer determination to break him (and succeeding! at least partially), the meticulous cruelty on display...the reveal of Gun's abuse and Pete's reaction to it. It was such a WHOA WHAT THE FUCK moment in the best way possible.

2. poor Pete just can't leave crying Vegas sitting on the lawn with his dead hedgehog. I just. love that he has the opportunity to leave and escape from his torturer and Vegas is just too sad and pathetic in that moment for him to do it. The look on his face when he makes the decision to stay, too, his "oh COME ON okay fine" expression as though someone is making him do this (I don't have a screenshot at the moment but maybe I'll dig one up later), and then of course his just. reaching out to Vegas in a remarkable gesture of kindness.

3. Pete's breakdown and leaving the safehouse (bonus mention to his homecoming scene). On the flipside: Pete falling apart when Vegas flips around on him again - chains him back up after they have sex and returns to treating him like an object, something to vent his anger on, and it's also something that I think has been a long time in coming in some ways that's not just from the direct cause of how Vegas has hurt him. I think it's also a result of the way in which Vegas has cracked Pete open and broken some of his coping mechanisms that have let him live with his own dehumanization. And suddenly he is facing those things, and facing his own wants (which it seems now he can't even have), and he can't stand it. And then the scene of him just...stumbling back to the main family, broken down and barely keeping it together. and crying into his noodles. It makes me hurt for Pete in the best way that also has me going "oh no that's terrible" with an utter lack of sincerity. It's a complicated emotion.

4. poolside scene. god. me: sobbing on the couch watching this for the first time. so many feelings. so many. I've got nothing much that I can say here except that I'm still very fucked up about it in a very special way. I'd probably be even more fucked up if Vegas had actually died but

5. post-credits hospital scene. healed my crops and watered my heart. Such a relief, such a catharsis, such beautiful tenderness and there's so much still to unpack but. boy. I don't expect such gifts from shows and Kinnporsche gave me this one.

I feel like I'm remiss not mentioning the sex scene and it's a very narrow miss but I think I'll stand by my choices.

#conversating #least carpet #vegaspete #pete saengtham #vegas theerapanyakul #kinnporsche #lise memes #top five meme

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testingthewatersss · 11 months ago

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I never lost him Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture, etc. Just unapologetic cuddling and comfort ft. Steve Rodgers. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Chapter 2 3700 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Post TWS Steve realises that he's not the only one looking for Sargent Barnes. Reader is Tony’s sister, a non-enhanced shield agent who recently resurfaced.

It’s 7pm when Y/N knocks on the door to Steve's suite. He’s half way through a bowl of microwave soup, it sits abandoned on his counter as he goes to let her in.

He’s shocked to see her, especially so late in the day. She smiles warmly, and he notices for the first time how kind her eyes can be.

“Do you want a drink of anythin?” he offers politely, as she looks around his room.

Her eyes catch a framed polaroid on his nightstand. It’s clearly him, even though it’s sepia and blurry, he’s arm in arm with Bucky, even though he’s much more bright, than she thinks she’s ever seen him.

“No” she coughs, averting her gaze before emotion can tint her features, “No, thanks Steve, I don’t think I’m stayin’ long”

He nods, and gestures for him to sit beside him on the couch.

“Do you need somethin?” he asks, at the same time as she says

“I passed on your message”

The room is quiet as her words hit him. His dinner is long forgotten.

“He…” she continues, “He says he’s sorry too”

Steve watches her, and palms at his jaw.

“he wanted me to tell you that never meant to hurt anybody, especially not you- he hopes you’re okay, and he says, he says thank you for the dog tag”

He looks at her, wide eyed and not understanding;

“You-”

“I told him you’d dug it out storage, said they must’ve thought it was yours when they were goin’ through the junk for the museum”

“Y/N…” he says, struck by the thoughtfulness behind the gesture, “…You didn’t have to do that- you found it, you-”

“-I-” she cuts in softly, “-have given him plenty of gifts”

He doesn’t know what to do with that. It’s clearly sparked a new tirade of questions, and it’s just as clearly taking every ounce of his restraint to stop him from asking them all at once.

She laughs fondly, sitting back

“He said it makes up for his 18th birthday, by the way”

His chuckle is genuine, it’s boyish and light.

“I can’t believe he remembers that” he says, “I, I couldn’t afford to get him anythin’ that year, I was always sick but- that, that was a bad winter, so I tried to help his ma’ make him a cake- it, it went bad, nearly burnt his kitchen down”

“Yeah he did mention that” she confirms, “I promised him I’d keep an eye on you around the stoves in this place, not that you ever use them”

She eyes his bowl of soup unhappily, and he finds himself beaming, nostalgia sitting heavy in his chest.

It feels nice to reminisce, to share stories like that without the shadow of tragedy that normally follows, along with the explanation that everyone involved is dead now.

“Wait” he says, realisation dawning on him, “You… you gave it to him?”

She nods, sensing that he’s finally catching on,

“I did”

“so, you… you saw him?”

“I did”

The confirmation is expected, but he's still taken back by it.

“When?” is the only follow up that comes to mind,

“We got lunch”

That tugs a disbelieving laugh from his chest, it bubbles past his lips, unexpected and raw.

“Today?” he clarifies, thinking back to earlier on,

“Yeah, Steve, today”

Y/N’s making a conscious effort to not sound patronising, but despite her best attempt, she thinks it rings through regardless.

“We need to talk” she decides, before he can reply, “we have to be honest with each other, and I’m gonna need you to have an open mind, think you can you do that?”

He considers her seriously, before nodding.

“Yeah, I- I can.”

“Good” Y/N affirms, relieved, “I know you have questions, I think now’s a good time for you to ask them”

Steve looks down at his hands for a minute before nodding, and staring into her eyes.

“How did you find him?”

“I think you mean, how did I meet him” she says with a smile, “I never had to find him, because I… I never lost him.”

His mouth hangs open,

“You know I worked for SHEILD, right?” she asks, sensing his need for answers.

“Tony mentioned it, before you came into town-”

“Tony is protective” she says, sitting back, again “he likes to paint things a certain way- I’ve been an agent since I was 18, and I’ve… I’ve done a lot of things, Steve, not, not all of them have been strictly good…”

He’s watching her intently. She feels strangely vulnerable, but she decides trusting him is worth the risk.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been evil- I’ve never hurt anyone for the hell of it, or killed someone in cold blood- but, I had a habit of takin’ the jobs nobody else wanted, and there was this one job…” she begins to explain, “…we got intel that HYDRA were lookin’ to take one of our field ops. Word was, that they were waitin’ on us sendin’ them out on a false lead, where they were gonna scoop them up for some kind of…special agent programme.”

His brow raises, he’s intrigued.

“I found out who the target was, and put myself up to go on the mission, meanin’ to get caught in her place, I- I got clearance from the boss to use myself as bait it… it took some convincin’ but, I- I promised I’d be back in no time and eventually she signed off on it…”

“I don’t understand” Steve says honestly, “You wanted to get captured?”

Y/N nods,

“I knew that the only way to find out what they were really cooking up was to get pulled into it, and I knew the only way to do that without raising suspicion was to let them think their plan had worked.” she explains, “But, I- I couldn’t let their original target take that risk, so I made sure it was me they were gonna get hold of…”

“Did it work?”

“Oh yeah, it worked…” she says, “They picked me up, couldn’t believe their luck, scorin’ a Stark- I was sent off for a wipe before I’d even come round”

“A wipe” he echos, disturbed.

“As it turns out, their special agent programme wasn’t so different from their Winter Solider one.”

Steve’s jaw hangs slack, he looks distressed, but he controls it well, nodding and steadying himself.

“I never did figure out why they never worked on me” she says, “My best guess is that they tailored them to Bucky, back when they first got hold of him, made sure they worked properly, but then, never thought to alter any of the settings for me.”

She’s deliberately glossing over the details. He’s grateful.

“Anyway, it was quite lucky really, because with a little bit of acting I convinced them I was totally brainwashed after my first go”

He blinks again, processing her words the best he can.

“They trained me up, tortured me when I refused to make a new batch of serum for them to use on me, and eventually, started savin’ space by keepin’ me and Buck together when we weren’t in storage.”

Steve is stunned. He’d had no idea about any of this, barring the general description of Y/N as a high up SHEILD agent, he’d brushed off the question of why she’d been MIA for years prior to her quite recent reappearance at Tony’s side.

“Me not bein’ able to think for myself made it quite easy for me to get on the good side of most of the higher ups… it got me into my fair share of trouble too- more than my fair share, really but- eventually, I convinced them to give us more privacy, and… the uh, the rest is history”

“How… How long were you there for?”

“5 years, more or less” she answers cheerily, “It’s a little foggy, with the cryo, but definitely more than 4 and less than 7”

He gives her a contrite nod, and rubs his palms on his jeans, appetite well and truly lost.

“After I made sure Bucky was goin’ to be gettin’ out, I-“

“What?”

Y/N tilts her head,

“You tried to get him out?”

She sighs, and adjusts her position.

“I’d been messing with the tech whenever I had chance- I’m good with things’ like that, so, I- I did what I could- his, his wipes were less frequent by then anyway, and we… we got close enough for me to… it- it doesn’t matter” she clears her throat, clearly hiding some deepest emotion, “-I knew they were sending him after you, and I- I told him he had to make it look real, because if he didn’t they’d send someone else, and I- I knew that’d make everything worse”

“He tried to kill me” he says, hating that it’s the truth, “damn near succeeded, are you sayin’ that was him, that he knew?”

“No” Y/N is quick to answer, “No it all went wrong after the bridge- he was never good at acting, no matter what I tried, he was too petrified of the officers to even attempt to lie- so they wiped him before I could do anythin’ about’ it- I- I did try, but they just put me into storage-”

Steve’s head is throbbing. He sighs, and tugs at his hair.

“When they pulled me out it was to hunt him down, they told me he’d gone rogue, I was to recover, or kill him, if I couldn’t bring him in”

“So what did you do?”

“I went to the place were we said we’d meet up when it was over” she says with a small smile, “he was waitin’ there, he’d been there for a couple of days by then- He told me everythin’, about you, and what’d happened with SHEILD- He’d told me about how, how when everythin’ had happened, he’d thought I’d died with the rest of them…”

Her expression is difficult to read, her fingers are laced together, and Steve can’t help but think she looks younger than he’s ever seen her.

“I had no idea about what had happened, one minute I’d been trying to get into the room where they were keeping him, and the next I was being sedated-” she scoffs, shaking her head, “-sure, I’d been pulled out of cryo by a guy I didn’t really recognise, but, things were always changin’ like that, so I didn’t, I didn’t realise how much had changed until he explained it all. As soon as I knew, I helped him get set up, and then, I went straight back, killed any guys I could find left over, and then I torched the base…and then I… I came home”

Steve nods, exhaling slow, and deep as he considers the reality of what that must’ve been like. Suddenly her saying she’d never lost Bucky, makes a lot more sense.

“Does Tony know?”

“Not about me and Barnes” she tells him, “But, he knows about the rest”

He nods again.

“You’ve gotta understand, Steve, I- I, I knew, about that night… They’d shown me the tape of Howard Stark dying when they first brought me out of cryo- I- and as soon as I met him, I knew it wasn’t him, I understood it wasn’t his fault, but Tony, Tony didn’t get that kind of exposure- he got it thrown at him, in the heat of the moment and he was so hurt, he was so hurt that you hadn’t just told him that it didn’t seem fair of me to add to that”

“I know I handled it badly, Y/N, but I didn’t know how to explain-“

“It doesn’t matter anymore” she says kindly, “He thought I was dead too, that- that’s why it was all so painful” she sighs, “I was never supposed to be gone so long, and when I didn’t come home or touch base with SHEILD they assumed somethin’ had gone wrong, declared me MIA, assumed deceased- from what I’ve heard, he, he took it hard…“

“At least you came back”

She smiles, and nods.

“Only half a decade late”

He forces a laugh, before the question he next asks jumps past his throat,

“why did you leave it so long? couldn’t, couldn’t you have found a way out sooner?”

Y/N looks at him knowingly, before averting her eyes.

“If I had…” she says, “It… it would have meant leaving Bucky there, and I- I knew that if I went, any attempts we made at pulling him out or, doing anything to stop them would’ve put him in so much danger that it— I decided, it was better for me to stay were I could help keep him safe”

His whole demeanour shifts, suddenly he’s dripping with sympathy and it’s all he can do not to reach out and hug the woman who’s baring her soul for her so openly.

He wishes he knew her better, that he felt more comfortable in offering some kind support, but he doesn’t. He knows her brother, and even that is difficult.

“I didn’t know how long it’d be” she continues, “but once I’d seen him- how they were treating him, I- I couldn’t just, go back, Steve I couldn’t leave him there on his own…”

“You love him” Steve says, realising it’s the truth.

Y/N blinks at him, before adjusting her gaze. Her lack of denial is conformation enough, even if her silence only lasts a moment.

“I love my brother, I never meant for him to think I’d died like that”

He knows that, so he nods.

“And when I came back he never asked about Bucky” she tells him, “He was just relieved to see me, even after I told him about the training’ they’d put me through it didn’t seem to click- I, I think it was just, so much to take in that by the time I’d told him the whole story he didn’t think to ask if we’d met…”

“Well it must’ve been a shock” he says, “you comin’ back from the dead”

Y/N scoffs a little at that, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“It was…” she agrees, “and he was so worried about anythin’ happenin’ to me after, that he put me up in a near by safe house for a month, told me to stay away from what was left of SHEILD until he could figure out who to trust… I snuck Bucky in with me for a while- it… it was a good spot to get some normality, y’know? … then Tony patched things up with you, and the others and I guess he decided he could trust you all, because he brought me back to the tower”

That’s more than a little bit flattering when Steve really starts to think about it. Reconciliation hadn’t been easy, but the idea that Tony trusted him enough to introduce him to his sister, especially after everything he knew she’d been through, is… a lot.

Just when he thinks he’s processed everything, another detail pricks at Steve’s consciousness, his head tilts and Y/N readies herself to answer what she knows he’s about to ask,

“Wait…when you came here… did Bucky stay in that safe house?”

“Bingo”

“Son of a bitch” Steve mutters, frustrated, “He’s been in New York all this time?”

“‘Fraid so, Cap’” she replies, “and it’s been good for him, it- it really has but now-“

“now you think he needs to move?”

“I think he needs to move here” she corrects

That shocks him.

“I’ve tried talkin’ to him-” she begins to explain, “I’ve begged him to let me just stay full time, I promised I could square it with Tony, y’know? I could tell him it’s for me, that I need more time alone but he… he won’t even consider it, he says he won’t let me do that for him but every time I leave it gets worse-”

“He loves you” Steve says, again, knowing it’s the truth.

This time, her smile is more obvious. Even though she tries to hide it behind her hand.

“Maybe, but I need your help, Steve”

“I’ll do anythin’” he agrees eagerly, “Just tell me what-”

“First of all” Y/N begins, “You can’t mention this to Nat”

That hits him like a tone of bricks. It’s so unexpected that he finds himself squinting.

“the, bit about me, anyway- she can’t know about me volunteering to take the place of the target agent”

“Why?-”

“Please, Steve” she cuts in seriously, “It’s important.”

After a second of confused consideration, he sighs, and nods in agreement.

“and then… I’m gonna need you to be patient.”

“…Patient…” he echos.

“Yes” she says, “Bucky loves you, he really loves you, but he is petrified- You can’t go rushing in trying to find him just because you know he’s close by, he begged me not to tell you, it took hours of me talking to him to get him calm enough to believe that you weren’t just going to storm in to take him somewhere-”

“Somewhere?” he repeats, “Like where?”

“I don’t know, Steve- all I know is that he’s so scared, of gettin’ hurt, of things goin’ back to how they were that he- he just needs time”

“I… I’ll stay away, Y/N- Of course I will I- I’d never just-”

A quirk of her brow silences him.

He would, he would’ve just turned up out of the blue, and he wouldn’t have given it a seconds thought.

“and he wants you to read his file.”

Bile floods Steve’s mouth, he averts his eyes, posture stiffening.

“he’s writing you a letter, too, but I think the uh, the file is more important.”

He feels himself sighing, releasing a breath he hadn’t meant to hold.

“Please, just skim it? it’s not graphic, it’s only the SHEILD write up, and I’ve gone through it with him, he’s- he says it’s the bare minimum you need to know before he sees you… or before you decide if you want to see him”

“If I want to see him?”

He’s gone back to parroting now, so it’s clear that he’s at his limit for the night, Y/N decides to wrap things up.

“… It’s important to him, okay? and when I go and see him tomorrow, I’ll bring whatever he’s written back for you-“

“He thinks it’s gonna change my mind, about wantin’ him here?”

“He thinks” she says, “that you have no idea about he did with HYDRA, and I think, he’s worried about what you’ll think of him when you find out”

“That’s ridiculous” Steve objects, “Of course I know”

“I was there” She says with a shrug, “he knows I know, but he still worries I’m going to decide he’s evil, and disappear”

That’s heart-wrenching. The idea of how hard he’s being on himself makes Steve want to break the promise he’s just made, and turn up on his door step to convince him that he’s not going to turn on him, no matter what he reads.

“He’s gettin’ better about that” Y/N feels the need to add, “with me anyway- but for now, for you-“

“I’ll read whatever you want”

She nods, before reaching into her back pocket, shuffling a bit in place as she reaches for the item she’s been keeping concealed for the most of the day.

Steve squints, confused as he finally spots the folded photograph in her palm.

He accepts it a little dumbly when she moves to pass it to him.

“I thought you might want to see” she explains, slightly embarrassed as he unfolds the polaroid, “It’s hard to get him to pose”

He laughs, quiet but ecstatic when the image reveals itself.

His oldest friend is on the left, hair long, but tied back, face a little weathered, but smiling, as he presses a kiss to Y/N’s cheek, she’s on the right, beaming at the contact.

It’s the first time he’s seen Bucky Barnes in the better part of a century. This is not The Winter Soldier, this, is the boy he grew up with, even if he has a little more facial hair.

“You… you make a goodlookin’ couple”

Y/N snorts, offering him a sweet smile as he beams at her, and then back at the image.

“You can keep that one” she tells him, when she sees how he’s still staring at it, “I won’t be offended if you cut me out of it- I tried to get him to sit for one on his own but he won’t”

Steve laughs, looking at her with grateful eyes. He feels honoured that she’s trusted him like this, he feels honoured that she’s opened up to him at all, considering the experiences he’s had with her brother, and the way he knows his behaviour has hurt the man she clearly holds so dear.

Y/N stands slowly, padding over to the door- Steve follows, and it’s only when he pauses, looking at her with a strange expression that she decides, once again, to pull him in for a hug.

She can’t help but feel protective over him, despite his obvious strength, she’s seen how Barnes frets over his wellbeing, and part of that seems to have rubbed off on her.

It’s good that it has, she decides, because he clings to her back with such intensity that she can’t help but wander who last held him like this.

“it’s all goin’ to be okay, y’know, Steve” she tells him, because she thinks he might need to hear it.

“How do you know?” he murmurs, unable to hide the fact that he’s worried. Worried about losing the friend he’s been trying so desperately to regain, worried about upsetting the friend he has in Tony, who he’s already lost once, over this, and he’s worried, that it’ll all be his fault, when it does come crashing down.

“Because-” she says, pulling back to look into his face “-I’m a Stark, and we’re always right.”

He gives her a half hearted chuckle, before pulling back and nodding.

“Careful, Darl-’” he says, with a tight lipped smile “You’re startin’ to sound like your brother”

“Is that a bad thing?” she says, leaving.

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