#possibly the stupidest thing i've written

[dreamcrow]

double shot, over ice

(unrated/non-explicit; 1320 words) for the @arcaneorderweek prompt: memories

She tries not to worry too hard about the powdered creamer, as she rifles through the cabinet. At least the whole "being older than crop domestication" thing means he probably won't have stuck-up opinions about the beans.

[ » continue reading on ao3 ]

and if you enjoy, perhaps consider a reblog? 💖

[rabidrabbit10]

Mike's weird Aunt Jane invokes the wrath of several turkeys

Jane and her lawyer, Doug were walking out of the Child Development Center after a meeting with her nephew and her niece's psychologist. For some reason, a group of about five turkeys was milling about outside of the Child Development Center. (Doug still thinks it's odd that many turkeys were just in the parking lot, acting like they owned the place). The turkeys were blocking the driver side door to Jane's car and Jane, being the completely rational person she is, refused to enter her car through any of the other doors because... well, just because!

This was ridiculous! She shouldn't have to enter her car through the passenger side door! It was her car! She should be able to enter through the driver's door! Doug offered the birds some fries he had in his pocket, hoping that would distract the turkeys long enough for Jane to get in her car. The turkeys swarmed the fries, but they still stood in front of the driver side door. Jane decided to attempt to get into her car through the driver's door anyway, but she had to step over the turkeys to do it. This enraged the turkeys. Doug thinks that they thought Jane was attempting to steal their precious stale fries. They instantly started pecking her as hard as they possibly could. Jane opened her car door as quickly as possible and ducked inside. She escaped... barely.

She started her car and began to drive out of the parking lot. Apparently, turkeys don't like loud sounds, like the sound of a car's engine roaring to life and some turkeys are extremely protective of their flock. She started her car and began to drive out of the parking lot but when she looked in her rear view mirror, she saw a few of the turkeys chasing after her car. (Apparently, turkeys don't like loud sounds, like the sound of a car's engine roaring to life and some turkeys are extremely protective of their flock). She wanted to kill at least one of them out of spite. Doug watched all of this from a distance, completely flabbergasted. He was never more shocked than he was in that moment... until a few days later when Jane breifly considered having her nephew murdered.

[thespineoftherighteous]

you're Renee Walker. it's ten thirty pm, or some shit. you're in the bathroom of the suite you share with your two wonderful best friends, washing your face, preparing yourself for a peaceful night in. you hear a noise, you pause. it sounds familiar. very familiar.

"this has gone on long enough. PLEASE. just change it back."

"Allison- NO. we've been over this before. it's SYMBOLIC"

"symbolic my ASS, Wilds. it's painful"

"didn't you just tell Nicky the other day that you could pull it off better than, and i quote, "any of us hoes""?

"just because i CAN doesn't mean i should HAVE to"

*singsong voice* "it's just a color allisonnnn"

"it's not just a color, it's. orange"

"we've been over this babe. it'd cost too much to change the colors again and seeing as it's barely been three years that would be a gross waste of money"

"a worthy sacrifice..couldn't we just exploit Kevin for the bills again or something?"

"no."

*whiny* "Wilds"

*mockingly whiny* "Reynolds"

"if you loved me you would do this for me"

"i do. so much. but 1. we can't and 2. i don't want to"

"you have too much power you know"

"mhm"

"WAIT you're not the only one with power now"

"??"

"perhaps if i go to our lovely other captain, my FAVORITE captain might i say, he could knock some sense into whoever it is that decides these things"

*snort* "Neil?? please. as if he'd advocate for spending thousands to change something as trivial as a color. besides it's probably even more sentimental to him"

*grumbles*

"mhm. put away that pout of yours. you know I'm right..."

*two minutes later*

"is he REALLY you're favorite captain??"

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm so tired I want to just go into the woods and hope a wild boar sees me as a threat and kills me

[soraviie]

you intimidate them.txt

━ type: bts x f! reader ━ navigation

━ about: fluff?, heavy crack, stupidest thing I've written no it's a lie I did write my university thesis, so the second most stupid thing ━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON: "Dude, will you stop sweating?" Yoongi asks with a distinct frown and resentment laced in his tone. In his defence, elevators were not known as being the most spacious and well-ventilated places, as well as the fact that by all biological assumptions Namjoon must be sweating spinal fluid. The man was part liquid right now.

"It's not something I can control," he growls back and pounds the handkerchief against his forehead like a machine gun.

"Maybe she's forgotten all about it," Jimin, an ever-helpful angel, pipes up from his corner of the elevator simultaneously trying to maintain as much distance as possible. "It happened a year ago."

"I doubt-" the doors open to your face and Namjoon swears his soul rips through his throat as he sweats in mute stroke-ridden silence. There you stood and from the fiery look in your eyes that promises him nothing but a lifetime of misery and suffering, he knows the small, minuscule tiny incident has not wandered off your mind.

"Hello, Miss ____________," Yoongi bids quietly and politely, brushing past as well as Jimin who offers a cheery wave. Your face lightens momentarily only to drop into a deeper frown once settled upon him. It doesn't help his nerves at all that Jin and Jungkook were in the absolute trenches fighting for their breath on the side, with tears in their eyes, doubled over in laughter.

"Would you like to step outside the elevator?" you ask him coldly and he flinches, shrivelling smaller.

"No," he audibly squeaks and Jungkook is rolling on the floor.

"Please, step outside the elevator so we could get started," you order and he waddles away from the safety of the metal box.

"I'm sure this year will be uh...more peaceful," Hoseok interjects, the mediator of all things.

"You mean, we don't want anyone here managing to break my glasses, burning my hand by dumping hot coffee all over it and then. Losing. My. Passport."

Namjoon now shrunken down to 2cm in size was counting the threads in the carpet. 2803, he counts, 2804.

Hoseok tosses an uneasy side glance to a remaining ectoplasm of his friend spinning somewhere around the globe.

"Yeah."

"Of course," you smile and Namjoon nearly begins to cry from fear. It's so terrifying and murderous that he doesn't even know how to breathe. "That would be greatly preferable. God knows what would someone do," your eyes glint as you nail the final coffin in Namjoon's grave. "If subjected to it again."

YOONGI: The day is busy and your hands are shaking and everything's so hectic that when you bring the many folders of who should be wearing what on which day of the show, they fall from your hands and spill all across the floor page by one page. Which is not that bad but then-

A laugh.

A highly amused laugh.

Sort of noiseless and accompanied by many shoulder wags.

You turn to glance back, counting the years that will be spent in a jail cell, and find Min Yoongi having eyes the size of saucers even though the rest of the face is unreadable.

And instead of apologizing or even helping he, in an oddly pitched tone, only responds with:

"Funny."

Then folds in on himself and mutters something that vaguely sounds like a:

"You fucking idiot."

You can't kill him you think. It'll call for execution at the very least. So you politely and subtly flip him the bird and walk away.

An entire year is lived without this heinous man's presence and now he's in front of you once more and he's laughing. Every time his gaze lands on you he begins to smile.

Because your very existence must be a joke to him so once again you politely flip him the bird and exit the room.

"My dude, stop laughing at the girl you're crushing on!" Hoseok threatens into his ears and while still battling the smile, Yoongi hisses back.

"I'm not laughing at her! I can't stop smiling whenever I see her face. I'm telling you she's a witch."

"The only thing magical is the speed with which you get a boner for her," Namjoon adds to the flame with the most neutral, UN-ready expression faced towards the camera.

"You think she'll ever talk to me?" he asks, wilting in discontent.

"Nah she hates you."

"Spit in your drink is what she'll do."

Hoseok and Namjoon look rather proud of themselves.

It's shortly before going on stage that Yoongi, adrenaline-fueled, bumps you with his hip and says with a wink.

"Wish me luck, our brave stylist."

"Break a leg," monotonously, you reply.

He sweats.

"Like for good luck you mean."

"Yeah," you narrow your eyes. "That's what I mean."

He swallows in fright and scurries away as fast as he's capable.

"I'm telling you she's a witch!" he yells in pain while being carded to an ambulance.

"Yoongi, you slipped because the stage was wet and twisted an ankle," Namjoon reiterates, tired, struggling, contemplating whether or not he should sit himself into this very ambulance.

"No, she definitely cursed me!" he argues.

"Why would you call a girl you like a witch?" Taehyung innocently wonders and Yoongi sighs with all the world's age.

"Isn't all love witchcraft?"

JIN: "I'm not going there alone."

"You're thirty! You're an adult, thirty years old male!"

"So, either you hold my hand as I go or I'm not going there at all."

"You're about to enlist!"

"Trust me, I'd much rather enlist right fucking now than go to," he shudders. "Her."

Namjoon sighs.

"I'm not holding your hand to go to the accounting."

Jin turns, hopeful, but everyone is conveniently averting their eyes. Taehyung has pressed his face against the window. Jimin was staring at the ceiling whilst Jungkook seemed to have resigned from his body entirely.

"Cowards, the lot of you."

Jin knows for 100% that the hallway to Hell itself, as he calls it, is haunted. He can see his breath in the air, and hear the laments of the dead. It's here that all souls come to die.

He chickens out several times but knows this is urgent and so swallowing his own skin, he timidly knocks on the door.

"Come in," comes the omnipresent voice and he shivers.

"Mr Kim Seokjin," you greet him cooly bringing down a stamp like an axe upon a head.

Playing with his fingers, he squeaks:

"Want to hear a joke?"

"No."

He swallows.

"I forgot it anyway."

"How clever of you."

There's a deep, pregnant pause in which he calculates the possibility of jumping out the window and surviving.

0. Chances are 0.

"We uh...need more...money for...the sunglasses...I uh...broke some."

"Is that all?"

"ʸᵉˢ."

"I'll arrange it."

"ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ."

"Are you bowing?"

"ᴺᵒ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ʰᵒʷ ᴵ ʷᵃˡᵏ"

"Just go."

He pushes the door open with his ass and takes off running.

HOSEOK: "It's just one woman. Just go talk to her if you find her interesting."

"She'll eat me!"

"She won't eat you!"

Another man approaches. You assess him like a Black Widow might assess a male too brave.

"Hello, I was admiring you from the distance and may I just say, I'll do anything to buy you a drink."

"Anything?" you ask with a smile and being a sleazy male he falls head first into a trap.

"Yes, anything," he nods, eagerly thinking you were an easy lay.

"Rip your liver out" you order that smile staying intact.

"What?" he blanches, laughing awkwardly.

"You said you'll do anything. So rip your liver out."

"Why would you need my liver?" the man asks, sweat rolling down his neck as he sees your aura of terror grow bolder, enveloping him whole.

"I'll eat it," your smile widens. "Why else?"

The man, just having promised his all, takes over the hills and you tut after him.

"Love is so damn fickle."

Yoongi, dragged along for the emotional support, pulls a breath through his teeth.

"So, she could eat you. Hoseok, how can a scaredy cat such as yourself like such terrifying women?"

"I don't know, just keep covering me! Though there's not a lot of you to cover."

Yoongi grimaces and cruelly leaves his friend to defend himself on his own in the wilderness. As you glance at the sound of someone whimpering you stumble upon a beautiful man whose eyes tell he was definitely shitting himself.

"Hello?" you wave at him and he screeches in fright.

JIMIN: "He's lost his mind," Jin gasps behind the couch.

"He's suicidal," Namjoon assesses also behind the couch.

"He's an idiot," Taehyung, the best friend, concluded calmly whilst scrolling through the phone.

Jimin with the determination of a wide-eyed duckling and romance of a prince, approaches the working, hunched figure, sweating and terrified but otherwise optimistic.

Heavy metal music streams in his direction but he has his eyes set.

He taps on her shoulder, smiles and then -

Deflates.

Says nothing.

Sweats.

In silence.

"There was a sign," you growl at him pointing the paintbrush at the stand nearby.

STAY AWAY! DO NOT COME CLOSER! LEAVE!

Jimin gathering all his wits, replies brightly:

"I can't read!"

"Yeah, I figured."

He swallows. You should not be this scary. But you are.

"I just wanted to ask maybe you need help? You've been working on our MV mural for a long time."

"I don't need your help."

"But do you want it?"

Your eyes narrow.

"Also no. Leave."

Head hung low he toddles away.

It's night already when Jimin leaves the studio and there's only one light streaming in the entire building - the projector illuminating the mural.

"Please, go home, you've been working for like 24 hours," he pipes up gently, partially tucking himself away in the dark.

"I can't," you reply, tired and worn out. "If I don't finish this today, I'll be a disappointment."

That feeling Jimin knew like no one else.

"Your health should be the first priority. Go rest. You won't be a disappointment, I promise."

The paintbrush clatters on the ground. Your hands are too tired to hold it anymore.

"Guess so," resignedly, you sigh. Pulling yourself up with great difficulty, you cast the partially hidden man a harmless glare. "Do you have to be so kind? You make me feel like an asshole."

"You're a bit of an asshole," Jimin agrees, heart beating a thousand beats per nanosecond. "But I think you do it to push people away. And you push people away because you can get hurt easily. And you get hurt easily because you have a big heart. And that's the best quality one can have. So in the end you're a good person."

"Still, you're scared of me," you point out at his hands clutching the door like a lifeline.

"A little bit," he chuckles self-consciously. "But I'll get over it, don't worry."

TAEHYUNG: "Look, __________, there's BT-oh not again!"

You sit stony-faced staring down that annoying, chiselled figure once more.

"This is ridiculous! You can't glare at him every time you meet in these things!"

Sinking your nails into the countertop of the bar shoved to the side, you growl back, doubling down on the ired grimace.

"Fucking watch me! I'm not letting some rich asshole intimidate me!"

"Maybe he just has an RBF? One would think, you'd know, given how you have one as well."

"No, no, he's definitely mocking me. I don't care how handsome he is I'll tear this guy a new one if he even dares-"

"You've got anger issues up the kazoo," your friend sighs, resigned on the matter. "Most girls would be lucky to have Kim Taehyung staring at them."

"The only way to stare at me is in awe! And he's not doing that!"

"Not to mention the ego," your friend rolls her eyes, faintly wondering why the rest of the BTS was so avidly arguing.

"Taehyung! Is your head made of spinach?! She's not going to marry you because you keep staring at her!"

Without changing a single muscle of his expression, he keeps staring, sending you his thoughts across the audience. Your hand grabs the bottle and he can't discern whether you want to drink it or fling it at his head.

"She might," he argues back. "I'm Kim Taehyung. Observe the awe in my face."

The face in question couldn't be more neutral if he was gambling his entire life away in a poker.

"Weren't you afraid of her?" Yoongi inquires conversationally.

"That only makes me horny," he tosses out casually and Namjoon scowls in disgust.

"Jesus, just choke already."

JUNGKOOK: "Stop sitting so menacingly!"

"Straighten your spine!"

"Start smiling! Jesus, could you please smile for once!"

Their hazing makes your expression sour even more and the awkwardly lingering masked guy seems to physically wilt away.

Jin and Namjoon who walk into the gymnasium behind Jungkook watch the situation almost bored.

"Oh, look there's that emo coordinator he's crushing on," Jin points out.

"Yeah, they're cute. If he ever gets the balls to talk to her or at least breathe at her, they can hop around like two crows," Namjoon admits.

"That depends how much play Jungkook can pull off."

"So zero?" Namjoon arches an eyebrow and they leave the youngest one to fend for himself. At last, Jungkook springs when your friends finally leave and he's not stared at by the other four girls like some sort of biological experiment.

He opens his mouth.

"You look like a steamed bun."

Then nods, quickly turns around and walks into a wall.

"Yeah, that ship won't sail anytime soon," Jin laments getting ready for practice.

After several more run-ins and mishaps, everyone is allowed to go home as you leave you cross glances with Jungkook who appears to...vibrate.

"You did well," you praise, tossing a bag over your shoulder and he breathes a near inaudible "thanks". The rest of them observe the interaction with some small amount of pride. Just look at him go!

"She said I did well!" he whispers to Jimin.

"Congratulations. Did you just cream your pants because of fear or joy?" he asks his friend shamelessly but Jungkook is too far out of it to care.

"Dunno. Don't care actually."

© soraviii/soraviie 2022

[spider-stark]

Just saw leaks from an insider in the writers room for s3 for stuff that condal and Hess are throwing around… let’s just say our beautiful cregan stark will likely be ruined done so dirty I’m rly about to just stop watching this show bc there is no way ppl can keep doing this like not to be a book purist but what was the point of the books. And even so should characters no be written consistently regardless am I the crazy one

Can we start hotd filming from the beginning and do this ourselves im so serious

I have... so many things... to say about this...

for the sake of keeping it simple: I will not be thrilled if any of these turn out to be facts.

I've seen a few people throw around the "Daeron is gonna be a bastard" thing and while I do think that would be funny, it's also not possible?? not unless we're going to reveal that a person doesn't need Targ blood to be a dragon rider, that is---which, if they were going to do that then fine, but I don't think Daeron is the best character for that storyline.

and then Cregan....

to say Cregan's promise ends when Jace dies would be absolute bullshit in every way. honor and loyalty are quite literally the foundation of House Stark. it would be the stupidest thing they've ever done (which, honestly, I wouldn't be that surprised by. hbo has a habit of doing stupid things).

ugh. idk. there are too many things to say about all of these and it makes my head hurt.

agreed that fans just need to redo the show at this point. get some fanfic writers in a room with GRRM and this show would come out on fucking top---especially because the actors are already incredible, and sometimes the writing is amazing, too.

I understand things need to be cut and changed for television at times---but most of these changes are just unnecessary, harmful to the overall plot, and just plain ridiculous.

[ellaak]

SEVENTEEN RECOMMENDATION LIST

✉~Smau ✏~Written Series 🃁~Oneshot ☆~Headcanon ♡~Fluff ☔︎︎~Angst ☊~Crack ⌧~MDNI

Last Updated : July 24th 2024

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL Nothing Here Yet...

YOON JEONGHAN The Unoriginal Villain Origin Story 🃁 ~ ♡ ~ ☊ @twogyuu Miscommunication is a powerful plot weapon fr. This fic is good Daisies 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @viastro I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS EMOTIONAL FIC, MINJI IS EVIL Fake It Till You Make It 🃁 ~ ♡ @bitterie-sweetie THE FACT THAT THEY HAD EVERYONE FOOLED FOR YEARS Just One Day 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @wonwoonlight STOP THIS WAS SO CUTE AND SAD. I Would 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @writer-k-pop HE IS STANDERD. THE WAY HE TOLD THE HOST OFF The Breakup Soup 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @hannie-dul-set I DID NOT EXPECT THE ENDING AT ALL AFTER EVERYTHING. GENUINELY ONE OF THE BEST JEONGHAN FICS I'VE READ Anything But 🃁 ~ ♡ @yoongiseesawmp3 THIS WAS SO CUTE, JEONGHAN SETTING THE BAR SO HIGH

JOSHUA HONG My Favorite Person 🃁 ~ ♡ @babyleostuff This fic giving me advice too

WEN JUNHUI HOME 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @hazz-a-bear BREAKING MY HEART IN TWO. JUN :((

KWON SOONYOUNG Caller #17 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @beomcoups THE ENDING HAD MY FIST IT MY MOUTH WITH TEARS STEAMING ON MY FACE

JEON WONWOO Nothing Here Yet...

LEE JIHOON Nothing Here Yet...

LEE SEOKMIN Nothing Here Yet...

KIM MINGYU When I Kissed The Teacher 🃁 ~ ♡ ~ ☊ @highvern THIS WAS SO SWEET THE WAY ARIN AND HANA TRIED SO HARD TO PLAY THE MATCHMAKERS

XU MINGHAO The Letter 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @toruro This is definitely a must read Blocked Contacts 🃁 ~ ♡ @jae-bummer Annoying exs Painting 🃁 ~ ♡ @rubywonu Who says you can't find love in museums His Portrait 🃁 ~ ♡ @ahlovelightaflame Getting caught was embarrassing but at least we got something

BOO SEUNGKWAN You Say The Stupidest (Sweetest) Things 🃁 ~ ♡ @savventeen The concept was so cute When I Grow Up 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @wooahaes THE WAY THEY MET HAS ME GUSHING Mission Possible 🃁 ~ ♡ @thepixelelf Sujeong was the op this whole fic The First Step 🃁 ~ ♡ @bluehoodiewoozi SEUNGKWAN WAS SUCH A SWEETHEART

CHWE HANSOL Work Husband 🃁 ~ ♡ ~ ☊ @wondernus The ending was so silly

LEE CHAN Love Guard 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @tqmies Chan being an accidental asshole on their first meet but was actually smitten was so cute Scored! 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @leejungchans By the end I was giggling so hard like a schoolgirl 08:23am 🃁 ~ ♡ @wheeboo THIS WAS SO CUTE (It's something I would def do) PANG! ✉ ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @kkumawrites HIS GF WAS A HOE SINCE DAY 1 FR

OT13 seventeen and how they would launch their relationship with idol!you ☆ ~ ♡ @hrts4hanniehae Fun to read Together 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @wooahaes This was so sweet, crying at the end REDAMANCY ✉ ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ - Minghao & Junhui @escapewriter I knew there was something off about [Redacted] since the beginning Svt At Your Christmas Party ☆ ~ ♡ ~ ☊ @alsktudy Silly Holiday Specials

[era404-skib]

A Bit Disappointed with the Latest Episode

I feel like it was, in the nicest way possible, badly written. It feels all OOOOH SHITTTT when you first watch it but you realise the obvious "Wait, the fuck is this" moments after a bit of time to ruminate.

-○ Inconsistencies ○-

What. Has. Happened?! The Titans were fast and quick to fight previously, and they knew what they were doing, but now they don't??? That yellow-green energy ball that knocked TTV down? He could've batted it away with his sword right back to where it came from the same as how TCam later bats away the purple-yellow energy with the entrapper arm.

Then TTV lunges for him midair. Dont??? You can lunge from behind or teleport your hands onto him??? Cut off his jetpack like you are actually smart instead of leaving it to TSpeaker later??? I don't this this is TTVs fault either, it was just written poorly.

Titan Speaker and Camera fight pretty greatly except for when the muscle mutant appears on his shoulder. Keep blasting and just take him off and crush him in your hand! The mutant is about the size of a Strider Toilet and in the VERY FIRST EPISODE that TCam debuted in he picks up a strider and crushes it with ease. Can't be much different here.

"WAIT!!! YOU NEED ME!!!!!" should've said that shit EARLIER before you were fried and stripped of your upgrades. A big toilet that can ram and shoot slow energy balls is of no use against the astros. Cringed hard at that

TTV is well able to core beam down the flying toilets with the cargo but not obliterate GT like he did to the Scientist??? The fuck??? DFB this needs improvement

I know this is very nitpicky but I didn't like TTV's face at the end. Should be a >:( or even a D:< in the VCR font but nope.

-○ Powerscaling ○-

The Titans, as previously pointed out, are much slower compared to the previous few episodes. What's more, it just seems to a constant "Oh, my new guy is better" between the sides, except the Alliance hasn't been getting any improvement since TTVs return. Oh, now there's a secret agent which Fucking Gets your 2 Elites. You can't hurt him btw. Oh, now theres an overpowered Astro Toilet which can launch a titan that's caught in the mere blast radius. You can't hurt him btw. Oh, now GT is an indestructible hunk of meat that can be given the beating of a lifetime but still severely damages your titans and doesnt die. You can't hurt him btw. Ridiculous.

The jetpack he pulled out of his ass is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in the series. What the fuck??? This is like when kids play with eachother as their OC's and "Oh, you're about to kill mine, but it has a sudden get out of jail free card and there's nothing you can do". Fuck off. If more of this shit gets pulled the series is gonna jump the shark.

At this rate I think DFB is setting it up so that it's Secret Agent vs Astros vs Skibidis. Unless he gives us a new overpowered race or something, and j don't even want that. Have it be a fair but tough fight between them all.

[ferdieinceladoncity]

I have two million circling thoughts about 'milagro' and no confidence that I can get them out of my head, but it was so intensely interesting I feel like I have to try.

First of all, the most "this was quite obviously written by a man with little to no care or understanding of Not being a man" episode that I have seen so far. To the point that it smacks me over the head. No woman would act like this: you would run, so so far, the second a guy like that entered an elevator with you.

The scene in the church is incredible in terms of how it was acted. The resigned realisation of "god, he's that kind of creep. That's the kind of man he is. He's infatuated with me." the way she starts to cry, overwhelmed with the emotion of it all- the fear, knowing she's in very real danger. It hit me right in the gut.

I do understand what they were aiming with in terms of her character and her infatuation with Padgett. It's not news that Scully is a little bit fucked in the head (as kind as I can put it) and morbid curiosity drew her to his apartment (and, putting her possibly in the running for Stupidest Person ever, self destructive tendencies or not, drinks something he makes her) but the whole scene is almost *too* much. Like. Scully. You cannot be doing this. Possibly the actual scariest/most infuriating scene in the x-files that I've seen.

Then again, I keep yelling that there's no way any woman would be foolish enough to act like this, but she's not a very normal woman. Sorry, it's true. She runs headfirst into these moments of possible self-destruction stemming from her own severe insecurities over whatever her relationship is with Mulder, the circumstances and uncertainty and longevity of which would probably drive *me* a little crazy, especially off the tail end of all the drama of season 6, Diana and all that. I'll do this, I'll get myself into this awful situation, and maybe you'll have something to say about it.

To that end, I'm at odds with wether this is really so 'out of character' or not. I hate to see it. But it makes sense. We can't all be perfect and we certainly can't all make good choices.

Mulder in this episode (because I feel like I should dedicate a paragraph to him even though he's not front and centre) disappoints me a bit. I have at this point read a lot of other reviews of this episode on Tumblr and reddit and heard people praise how "protective" he was, "jealous" was a word used, and generally a lot of focus on the shippiness of this episode, to which I can't agree. He infuriated me just a little. I appreciate that he was down to slap Padgett in the cell and I appreciate that he went to the effort of stealing letters to find his name and all, yet when Scully first talks to him about Padgett after the church scene, telling him he's the one who gave her the milagro and he was frightening, all he has to ask is "do you think he's the killer?" not "are you okay" or anything of the sort. Yes, I know Scully's not the kind of person to really appreciate that. She can hold her own, or she'd like him to think so. Still. From *my* perspective, and this is *my* write-up, and *my* Tumblr blog. And I think it's a bothersome thing to say. Also, I roll my eyes at mulder referring to sex as "the naked pretzel." What's with this guy and censoring himself like he's writing a tiktok comment? Actually, between this and "the wild thing" back in genderbender, maybe he just has some crazy hang-up about referring to scully having a sexual encounter (real or imagined) in a serious context. Interesting.

...That paragraph ended up being longer than my other ones. Loss for feminism on the post that I specifically started because I was fuelled by feminism.

"Agent Scully is already in love" should be for all the world a gleeful revelation and I was quite excited to see it, as I'd heard about this scene long before (MSR gifsets was what drew me here in the first place. I'm shallow like that.) But scully has been so kicked around this episode, stripped of privacy and dignity in every sense and this has been exposed to Mulder and everybody else, that it only makes me sad, because I do wish that Padgett would stop talking to her completely and stop getting around in her head like this.

The end scene just kills me, where the killer breaks in and grabs at her heart. She claws at Mulder's back when he embraces her with such fierce desperation and what I can only assume is a very, very deep well of regret. She doesn't shy away from him caring for her: she needs it.

[tkblythofficial]

Hi! Anon of the rant.

About this https://www.tumblr.com/zeglythofficial/742759379451953152/some-tea-z-the-discourse-on-her-man-has?source=share

I never thought RZ was that kind of person!

But appearances can be deceiving. Based on everything I've seen, I truly feel sorry for her and her future. And I hope from the bottom of my heart that she stays far away from TB as possible.

If you want to boost your boyfriend's doomed career, do it using JR's merits, but he doesn't, right?

She could have been a big star on her own, but she chose the stupidest path, partnering with someone who clearly doesn't have the capacity to even pursue a solo career without the support of her girlfriend.

It's sad to see so much promising future being thrown away. Because she actually had a chance of reaching maximum level.

Among all of them, the only one (apparently) with the right choices is TB, congratulations to him.

I'm not a zeglyth shipper, I liked their dynamic and thought it was genuine. But I was wrong.

I really hope she stops this LG and Sejanus thing. For someone who claims to be a fan of the story and the character, doing something like this is terrible.

But, she is not against using someone she called a friend until recently, story characters are the least of it.

I don’t think she is really that tbh!

1. That post was poorly written…almost on purpose.

2. We must remember that we can see zeglyth with our own eyes as well regardless of what that anon says. The BTS clips, the interviews, red carpets etc wasn’t all a lie. It’s very clear to me that Zeglyth are genuine friends. The way they touch tells me that. The way he defended her told me that. Keep in mind that R has been singing T praises way before the movie was released.

3. I do think they were telling the truth about R liking the online attention she gets from T and Zeglyth though. That’s not a lie but to say she’s only using him for that? No, I don’t believe that. She’s caught off guard by their popularity. It probably sucks that her bf isn’t well loved but her friend is. The most liked post on her IG is T’s bday post. I think it hurts her a lot to see her bf will never get that kind of attention so she’s showing him down our throats.

4. R and J will never be a power couple. It’s laughable to think about. If R and her team truly think that, they are way out of touch with her fanbase. We don’t care about J. We don’t like him. We never will. It’s a tough pill to swallow for R but she has way more chemistry with T. She knows that too which is why she’s fighting hard to promote J and Sejanus.

5. R will regret trying to boost J’s career when they break up. It will be a nasty thing to witness. I hope she braces herself for that because and I’m not saying this to be mean but it will be deserved imo. No woman should help a man’s career. He’s a man, let him do it himself.

6. This is a bad look on R. She needs to cater to her neutral fans! She has fans that don’t care about T, J, Zeglyth, THG, they follow her for her projects and her career, nor relationship drama. Did she forget that?

Overall, R/J are not a power couple, T will be successful and J’s career launch won’t go anywhere. Wasn’t TBOSAS suppose to help launch J’s career? It didn’t and Ryan Murphy is a hit or miss right now. Won’t be surprised if J’s career continues to flop.

[pseud0knots]

the thing that makes me so mad about this isn't that I think thjis conversation by itself out of character I think they should fight on panel I think shatterstar is absolutely right that rictor feels inferior and insecure and I also think rictor would say some shit like that if he was mad and if it was well written the fallout would be delicious because shatterstar would be like yes of course I'll regress for you if you want me to be a heartless killing machine I'll be a heartless killing machine I'll be whatever you want me to be etc etc. maybe its the amount of fiona apple I've been listening to or maybe it's just growing up but healthy fictional relationships in comics are boring as hell these guys have PROBLEMSSSSSSS they should be mildly to severely dysfunctional. like at best they should be sicko4sicko where at least they aren't exposing everyone else to their issues and they kinda like fighting all the time and breaking up and getting back together it's like enrichment. and at worst they really should go their separate ways but they won't due to aforementioned Problems. like there is absolutely no way that staying in a relationship with the first person who you felt comfortable having gay sex with as a repressed teenager with internalized homophobia problems or the first person who you experienced emotions about ever in general is going to be healthy and well adjusted. Like JUST this out of context is like. delicious to me. The problem is the fucking context that rictor is mad at shatterstar for flirting with other people. that's like the stupidest and most uncreative way you could possibly inject drama into the relationship. it's just soooooo out of character for him as I've said one billion million times. but I just can't get past this page without complaining about it. especially given what's on the next page

[uncivilcivilservice]

Strange Gifts

Armand/Daniel drabble, also featuring Louis and Lestat. Set on Night Island, sometime post-canon. Possibly the stupidest thing I've ever written.

“I've got a gift for you” Daniel announced as he turned the corner to where Louis and Armand were waiting.  

“What is it?” Armand said, eyes still glued to the screen of his iPhone, casting a light blue glow onto his face.  

“Lizard’s tail.”  

That got Armand’s attention, his phone was immediately pocketed, and ghostly white hands stretched out to take the gruesome token, which Daniel was tactfully pinching by the very tip of the scaly appendage.  

While Armand examined the object, turning it round in his hands, peering at the cross section of muscle and bone left where the tail had broken off from the frightened creature that dropped it, Louis looked between him and the bringer of the gift with an arched brow.  

“Where did you even find that?” Louis stepped closer to look over Armand’s shoulder as he bent the tail back and forth, testing it’s flexibility.  

“Just on the porch, I dunno if the storm earlier today had anything to do with it or if the lizard was just trying to escape something, but it seems fresh, must be from today.” 

The pair stood in silence watching Armand play with his new toy, now squeezing the tail near the base to see the effect on the flesh and bone as they grinded together under pressure.  

Daniel shook his head affectionately, looking back to Louis. 

“Where’s the big guy then? I know he likes to be fashionably late, but has anyone actually checked that he remembers he’s supposed to be coming with us tonight?”  

The four of them, Daniel, Armand, Louis and Lestat, had arrived at Night Island the day before, and were due to take a boat to the mainland to feed, and just explore Miami for a while.  

“I’m not Lestat’s keeper, phone him and tell him to hurry up.” 

Before Daniel could even reach to take his phone out his pocket, his eye was drawn back to Armand as he raised his hand and darted his head forward to lick at the blood oozing from the detached tail.  

“Armand, don’t do that!” Daniel barked a surprised laugh, making a futile grab for the gift he was starting to regret giving. Louis for his part simply sighed as he leaned against the glass railing, shaking his head as Armand’s face briefly screwed up in disgust, before returning to his trademark blank stare as he considered the tail, as though adding his observations to whatever analysis he was making of the fleshy specimen.  

“I take it you’re happy with the gift then?” Daniel asked, still laughing incredulously at Armand’s antics. 

Armand fixed Daniel with an intense, almost predatory stare. His grin, however, made it seem more like the look of a housecat hunting for sport, than any predator chasing down it’s meal out of hunger.  

“Very happy lover. Let me show you.” He leapt at Daniel, arm reaching to catch him by the back of the neck to pull him into a kiss.  

Had he still been a mortal Daniel would have had no chance at evading him, but even as young in the blood as he was, Daniel still managed to lean away just quickly enough that Armand couldn’t quite get the grip on him he needed to share a lizard-blood laced kiss with his fledgling.  

“Absolutely not” Daniel broke away and started running back down the veranda, his laugh echoing off the marble floors and glass wall. Armand didn’t make much of a chase however, not wanting to damage the delicate gift, he headed back inside to find a jar to preserve it in with alcohol and to investigate what was holding their Prince up for so long.  

With the tail safely stored in the kitchen for later, Armand walked back outside to find Louis looking out over the water, and Daniel on his phone, distracted.  

Walking up to his fledgling, Armand spoke in the softest voice he could manage; “Daniel?” 

Daniel made a small noise of acknowledgement before glancing up from his phone. He dropped his arm entirely as Armand ran his fingers up it, leaning up to close the distance between them until he met Daniel’s lips with his own.  

Daniel had leaned into the kiss for several moments before he remembered why he had been trying to avoid kissing Armand just minutes earlier. He pushed away from Armand, hand rushing to wipe at his mouth dramatically while Armand cackled in delight.  

“I am here! Are we ready to go?” Lestat bounded through the doorway with a grin, which faded as he looked upon the scene, where Louis, exasperated, but more amused than he would admit, was already walking ahead towards the private dock, leaving behind Armand who had laughed himself into tears, next to Daniel who was still putting on a commendable performance of disgust, with mutterings of “I can’t believe you did that” and “do we still have any mouthwash upstairs” even as he held back his own laughter.   

“What did I miss?” Lestat pouted at having been left out on a joke.  

“I brought Armand a gift and it backfired, now let's go, I need to find some piece-of-shit to wash my mouth out with.” Daniel draped an arm over a smug Armand, and together they headed to catch up with Louis.  

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I'll take it a step farther. Feminism has absolutely ruined life for women. My husband walked out on us, left us without a car, without any income, without anyone to call for help, and bruised and battered. I went looking in the area for resources for abused women and children and you know what I found? A whole lot of "YAS QUEEN YOU CAN DO IT ALL BY YOUR LITTLE WOMANLY SELFY" attitude and jack squat as far as help. When I refused to turn my children over to the government to raise we got written off.

I'm working online to keep the bills paid and diapers bought but... we don't even qualify for child support because *I* don't make enough. (Which is the absolute stupidest thing I've ever heard.) He's allowed to get away with all of it. Scott-free. Because feminism and a "womyn can do!" attitude.

Screw feminism and screw the people who use domestic violence as a pet project and a grift.

I have to say I think you're the only person I've ever seen who would blame this exact situation on feminism and not some made up patriarchy. But yeah that's insane that you can't get child support from your deadbeat husband. Absolutely should not be allowed. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope you and your children get everything you need as soon as possible.

[autobot-ratchet]

Preface + Death of Optimus Prime

Alright. So it's been a few years since I've looked at transformers comics and I wanna do a re-read. I am a different person than I was when these comics were first being released and I wanna go back and look at them again with all my cool and epic literary analysis skills and newfound confidence in said skills. Truth be told, a lot of this is gonna be shit I already thought even way back in the 2010s but was too nervous to voice it because the fandom was god awful lmAO

I've made posts about it before, but the transformers fandom specifically (and the IDW transformers comic fandom even more specifically) is the one that hurt me the most. I was right at the beginning of my “social justice journey” if you wanna call it that, I had just started to realize that a lot of things I never questioned and thought were normal were, in fact, hurting people, and was highly interested in learning (or in some cases unlearning) as much as I could to stop myself from hurting/alienating the people around me. I cared very much about not being a bigot of any kind, even accidentally.

MTMTE was a comic that was also interested in much the same, depicting all kinds of people (namely gay folks, trans folks, folks with mental illnesses, etc) without being a thoughtless shithead about it. So naturally, this attracted the most obnoxious discourse you can possibly imagine lmAO All these marginalized people saw themselves being treated respectfully in a piece of media they liked and felt the need to either protect that or tear it down for not being good enough in their eyes. And the way they did that was by writing long posts detailing their interpretations of characters/story lines, stating them as the one true interpretation, and declaring that anyone who disagrees is disagreeing out of bigotry against them specifically. IE, “This character is [minority] because I am [same minority] and I see a lot of myself in them so if you don't like this character or don't think I'm right about them that means you don't like me and therefore you are a bigot who hates me for being [minority].”

To give an even more specific example, a take I saw incredibly often was “Starscream is an abuse victim whose bad behavior is the direct result of his abuse at the hands of Megatron because I would also like to betray and/or kill my abuser so if you don't absolve Starscream of everything he's ever done or god forbid you commit the crime of liking Megatron, you are an abuse apologist and you think I deserved it.” Nowadays, I can recognize that take as complete horseshit and the OP wildly projecting onto Starscream, but back in the 2010s, I had no idea how much of what I thought was normal was secretly bigotry that had just been normalized, so I took shit like that seriously. I figured, “Well, they ARE that so if they see that in the character, it must be the truth. How would I know that kind of thing? I'm only just realizing that I don't actually know anything! So I should listen to people when they say things like this.”

And the more posts I found telling me what I'm meant to think about the way the comics were written, the stupider I felt because when I read the same comics, I did not pick up on any of the problematic elements they were talking about. Again, I now know it's because they were projecting hardcore and were making up their own versions of the characters, but back then I truly thought I was the stupidest human being alive because they HAD to be right. They talk about social justice all the time, so they must be way more knowledgeable than me and my inability to pick up on the same things they do is a personal failing on my part. Even when it got to the point where they got so wrapped up in their own delusions that I was like “Hang on now, I don't know about all that,” I was still too scared to even voice my own opinions in my own space because I didn't want to get hit with the “bigot/apologist” label and get dogpiled by a bunch of strangers trying to enact justice upon me. If even one spiteful person looking for easy clout found me, it would've happened. It still COULD happen, shit, it's even worse nowadays.

It genuinely fucked up my self esteem for a long time. When the comic inevitably failed to be pure and good enough to be acceptable to like (read: deviated enough from peoples' headcanons that they felt betrayed that canon was not the same as what they wanted to happen), I felt like an idiot at best for continuing to like it and a horrible person at worst for continuing to support such problematic content. And that sucks! It sucks that my naivety and willingness to listen was taken advantage of for some fucking internet brownie points! And part of me will never forgive the transformers fandom for that!

If we're being honest, all fandoms were starting to go down the discourse shitter so that was gonna happen to me no matter what, but for me, it was transformers comics bullshit that fucked me up so here we are. I am now going to re-read these comics and write down my unfiltered thoughts and feelings and anyone who wants to fuck with me can die.

Death of Optimus Prime

damn we really start this shit with Optimus being like “aw fuck I'm still alive” after having done a heroic sacrifice

Optimus called the Circle of Light a cult, which I guess I could understand what with it being so insular but damn dude, harsh, it ain't quite all that

oh lord the Cybertronian politics is making me have fandom war flashbacks lmfAO and especially now that I'm older and have experienced a lot more political fuck shit, no wonder Certain Parts of this fandom were fucking insufferable, people literally tied their actual personal politics to these fictional characters, I cannot fucking imagine what it would've been like if this came out in today's fandom climate, christ

so from the perspective of everyone else in the series, Drift was one of the most terrible Decepticon warriors to ever live, then he got indoctrinated into (what they believe is) a cult, then he just kind of accidentally became a wrecker and thus an Autobot. Damn, no wonder no one really talks to him lmfAO he is 31 flavors of freak and they don't even know where to start with him even if they can get over the Decepticon thing. Absolutely hysterical that he turns out to be completely correct about the Knights of Cybertron

it is actually so funny how done Optimus is with all this shit he just dumps the matrix halves into Bee and Roddy's hands and fucks right off, no words, good fuckity bye

[whatyourusherthinks]

Anyone But You Review Rant

GOD FUCKING DAMN BULL SPIT FUCK SHIT HORSE COCK DICK FUCK SHIT HELL FUCKED GODDAMMIT! This movie came out LAST YEAR. I SHOULD HAVE MISSED IT. But no. They had to do Valentines Day rerelease with "extra content". I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREE. I WASN'T GONNA HAVE TO WATCH IT. FUCK.

So this isn't gonna be a review. Because I could only stand to watch half the movie, and as little integrity I actually have, I don't think it's actually fair to review half a movie. That being said, that little shred of integrity I do have won't stop ,me from bitching about how much hate I have for this pile of drivel.

What's this movie about? It's a romcom about possibly the two most unlikable characters I've seen in so long pretending to date even though they hate each other because they don't want to ruin a wedding and also they're soulmates or something. I don't fucking know. They kinda hook-up at the beginning of the movie and everyone acts like all "IT'S DESTINY FOR YOU TO BE TOGETHER" and it's the stupidest fucking thing. So the story is horrible, but of course it is. Comedies never have good plots. But Anyone But You get's a special prize for having a plot specifically written to annoy me.

How about the acting? Well, I hate the fucking leads. Both of them are horribly written and are just nasty to every single other character. The dialogue of this movie is snippy and sarcastic and not at all natural. The girl can't act. The guy can, but has nothing to work with. Their meet-cute begins with the girl pissing her pants. All of the side characters are wooden stereotypes, or over the top stereotypes.

Comedy? No. This movie is not funny. The only intentional joke I laughed at was a old man getting exasperated at the literal premise of the movie. There is a wacky black sidekick for the guy (Because of course there fucking is.) who I hope was paid more than director to repeat the most horrendously unfunny shit I've ever heard. There's a little bit of physical comedy that involves anal fingering so.... Enough said.

Aside from being racist, it's also sexiest "as a joke" but it isn't funny. There's a slightly jarring amount of very unflattering nudity. I was going to give it props that the interracial lesbian couple seemed like good representation, since they just seemed like characters who happened to be lesbians, and not "lesbian characters". (If you get what I'm saying.) But then I realized that they have the straightest wedding possible and they literally get pushed to the background to make room for the straight white leads, and I realized that the writers probably just made one member of a straight couple a woman and barely changed the script.

If I have to say something nice... The movie takes place in Australia so the setting is pretty nice. There's like pretty beaches and the Sydney Opera House and stuff. Oh by the way, the reason they rereleased this movie is so that they could add bloopers after the credits. I didn't watch them.

So in conclusion, Anyone But You? More like Any Movie But This One! HAHAHAHAHA *Proceeds to punch self in the face repeatedly*

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

🥭🍐🫐🍇 for the fruity emoji ask meme thing. XD

Thank you! 😁

🥭 Rank from most enjoyable/fun to write to least: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Crack.

Fluff, angst, smut, crack.

I have a long-standing hatred for most crack, due to the time I spent in the warrior cats fandom and on FF.net. <- crack was not always labeled on FF.net and it was some of the stupidest stuff I have ever read, even when I was 13.

And the first three are often in a myriad of combinations, which can be nice. I'm delving into smut now and I don't hate it, so... :)

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Oh, hell, I don't think I've done any fix-it fics.

Ashley being alive? Which was always a possibility to begin with, but I have slipped that into a few fics.

I have stuff I plan on doing, but haven't done yet because I have to finish some fics before I get there. (But when I do, a lot of it has to do with John wanting to go back in time solely for Helen. Bitch, he didn't want to be the Ripper either.)

If I have done anything else, I can't think of anything off the top of my head.

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

The underrated characters!

Ranna is a big one, I love her and there's hardly any fics, let alone ones that aren't just smut. (Understandably low count, she was in 1.3 episodes. I also understand the smut, but I hate how f/f is so often just a tool for porn and nothing else.)

James as well. He's not a hugely rare character, but there's not a lot of love for him or interest in stories with him as a focal character. He's criminally underrated, considering his history with Helen and the fact that he was there the entire time before he died.

Declan too. I just love him and also rather important. But he's great and I liked reading/writing about him.

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Out of the Blue!

It's one of my absolute favorite episodes and there is so much that can be done with that concept and that world. I have one fic I'm getting back into and ideas for a few others.

It's such an intriguing world and you can just twist it any way you want. Anything can go there.

And the way it happened? Also so much to be done with what. What might other people see? What if it happened again?

Aghhhh, there's so much there.