#possibly the funniest joke I made in weeks

[lady-quen]

Mini Trahearne

(feat. @icebrooding )

[madaqueue]

18+, MDNI - f!reader

sukuna wasn’t a jealous man per se, but he absolutely was possessive - what’s his was his alone - especially when it comes to you. but that just made it all the more fun to taunt him, seeing how much you could get away with. sometimes, sure, maybe you get a little too touchy with random guys at bars just to get a rise out of him, to see what he’ll do to put you back in your place, remind you that you’re his.

“sukuna, what’s the big deal?” you whine as the bathroom door slams shut behind you.

finally releasing his grip on your wrist, he looks at you with nothing short of rage flowing behind his crimson eyes. “the ‘big deal’ is you practically begging that wanna-be frat boy piece of shit to fuck you right in front of me,” he spits.

rolling your eyes, you rest your back against the wooden doorframe. “he’s just a friend.”

“oh, so you get touchy with all your friends like that, hm? put your arms around ‘em, tell ‘em how nice they look in their ugly ass knock-off gucci shirts?”

crossing your arms, you feel the heat of excitement building in your chest - now, it was all too easy to fan the flames. “he was just offering to buy me a drink.”

“oh!” he practically yells, voice echoing off the faux tiles of the bar’s restroom. “well then by all means, go back out there and get your free drink! while you’re at it, why don’t you see if his daddy’s money can get you a new car, or a yacht or something - maybe he can be the one to shell out the cash for you to get your nails done every week, and your hair, and your lashes ‘n shit, because clearly i’m not providing for you enough if you feel like you have to whore yourself out for a fucking $10 vodka cran!”

uh oh. whenever he starts monologuing like this, it’s never a good sign. maybe you pushed him a bit too far this time.

shifting uncomfortably, you soften your tone. “‘kuna,” you sigh, “you’re right, i’m sorry.”

“‘sorry?’” he mocks. “you didn’t look very sorry when your hands were all up in his hair or on his chest, hm?” they should only be on me, he thinks, but manages to hold himself back. “were you ‘sorry’ when you told him he’s the funniest person here for making some lame ass joke about how ‘working class’ i look?”

“look, that’s not-“

“no, no! why don’t you go fuck the trust fund baby and see if his three-inch house-in-the-hamptons dick can satisfy you! i bet they’ve got housekeepers and personal chefs and shit, maybe they can teach you some goddamn manners about how to treat people!”

oh, this is bad. yeah, you went too far.

slowly, you raise your hands to his chest, locking eyes with him as you steady your breathing. “‘kuna, you’re right. i fucked up. i shouldn’t have said that shit, i didn’t mean it and i’m sorry.”

the flames of anger crackle under his skin as he looks at you - god, he wishes you didn’t look so beautiful under the flickering lights in this shitty bathroom, maybe then it would be easier to stay mad at you. “yeah, yeah, alright. whatever.”

but you aren’t done - he’s clearly still mad, so your work isn’t finished just yet. “how can i prove that i’m sorry?” you murmur, batting your eyelashes up at him.

the corner of his lip twitches ever so slightly into a smirk. “‘prove it,’ eh?”

you nod, plastering as innocent of a look on your face as possible, wide doe eyes and glossed lips smiling softly.

“well, i have an idea of how you could make it up to me.”

“anything,” you hum. you just want him to forgive you.

almost instantly, the cool tile floor hits your knees as the sound of a zipper being undone fills the silence. looking up, you’re suddenly face to face with his fully erect cock, a small drop of precum beading at the tip.

“well?” he smirks, “better get to apologizing.”

this smug bastard.

rolling your eyes, you figure it's easier to just accept your fate and apologize in whatever way he happens to see fit - in this case, with his cock in your mouth. parting your lips, you slowly roll your tongue over his flushed tip as he lets out a low groan that echoes through the space. after a few moments of working him into your mouth, a calloused hand reaches behind your head, guiding you further down his length.

“juuuust like that, good fuckin' girl” he mumbles, mostly to himself as he tugs you up and down his cock.

the salty taste of his pre on your tongue has heat building in your core, your thighs beginning to rub together. trailing your fingers between your legs, you nearly make it to your cunt before he roughly kicks your hand away.

“acht - no touching. you're supposed to be makin' me forgive you, remember?” your lips attempt to curl into a frown around him as he chuckles above you. “aw, don’t pout,” he coos sarcastically. “if you wanted to get fucked, you should’ve just asked me instead of acting like some fuckin’ slut out there.”

fair point.

taking in a breath through your nose, you continue working him in and out of your mouth. sukuna was big, and you always struggled to take all of him. sometimes he would be nice and let you take your time opening your throat for him.

but not today.

with one harsh thrust, he pushes himself all the way past your lips until his tip knocks at the back of your throat. a menacing giggle overpowers the sound of your gags as he pulls you off him.

“c’mon baby, not doin’ a very good job saying sorry, now are ya? i thought i taught you to be more grateful.”

with that, his hips jut up again, all the way into you. tears begin spilling over your lashes as you struggle to breathe, but each time it threatens to become too much he pulls back, letting you desperately suck in air.

drool spills down your chin as he fucks your mouth, ravenous and greedy. the lack of oxygen has you lightheaded as thick tears cascade down your cheeks.

but if this is what it takes for him to forgive you, so be it.

the hand at the back of your head tightens in your hair as he drags you up and down, his chuckles becoming more and more breathy.

“fuck baby, m’close, y’gonna take it all for me, yeah?” he asks, mostly rhetorically as you couldn’t answer with the way his cock fills your mouth. all you can let out is a weak whine in affirmation.

with one final thrust, thick ropes of cum shoot down your throat, the salty taste lingering as he pulls out. tucking himself back into his boxers and zipping his jeans, he takes in the sight of you on your knees, black trails of mascara streaming from your eyes, drool spilling down your chin. your chest rapidly rises and falls as you attempt to steady your breath.

reaching a hand down, he strokes your cheek, wiping away a trail of spit before helping you to your feet.

there’s a glimmer of mischief behind his ruby eyes as he leads you from the bathroom, purposely leaving you in this disheveled state. “c’mon baby, let’s go - wouldn’t want to keep your ‘friend’ waiting.”

[puckinghischier]

Taking Nico to Disney: Headcannons

i know this is a little…specific, but as someone who has both grown up going to and has worked at disney world…HEAR ME OUT!!!

- you’ve always wanted to go to disney with nico, but the timing has never been right with off-season training, play offs, his trips back home to visit his family, and whatever else comes up. but this time? this time you’re making it happen.

- the trip has been booked, flights arranged, and your glorious week of magic and quality time with nico was finally upon you.

- he’d be just as giddy as you are. the minute he found out about your love for the theme parks, he told you how he always wanted to go as a kid, but obviously a trip to orlando is hard for a swiss kid.

- he insisted on buying themed luggage, themed shirts, themed hats, and he even bought themed socks.

- when you mentioned matching shirts as a joke, his eyes lit up, excited at the idea. he’d search for hours for the funniest pairs, buying a couple of sets, but not telling you what they were until you were there.

- your first day, of course you’d go to the magic kingdom. you were so excited to see nico’s reactions to all of the fairytales come to life throughout the park.

- you made him walk in front of you as you walked backwards around the corner on main street, wanting to see his reaction to the castle for the first time. you were lucky he was so distracted by the large structure to notice your crying, his amazed eyes and small “wow,” as he stopped walking to take it all in really got your emotions stirred.

- he’d follow your lead all day, trailing behind you with a map while you yapped and explained all about your favorite things to do as a kid. eventually you’d take the map from him, telling him you know exactly how to get around the park. “schatz, i’m trying to see what rides i want to do, give it back,” he’d argue with a huff. “neeks, we’re doing everything, don’t worry about it.”

- you loved watching his excitement and wonder with every ride the two of you went on. your heart melted at his giggles at the scenes on pirates of the caribbean, him singing along to the german (and french) section of small world, his bewilderment at the special effects of haunted mansion, his foot taps to the beat and amusement during enchanted tiki room, his screams on space mountain, his competitiveness on the buzz light year ride, his need to lift dumbo to the top for the whole ride, and his genuine cackles at every joke during jungle cruise.

- he’d also make you stop every time he saw a photographer, wanting every picture he could get from this trip. you’d happily oblige, loving all of the different fun and cute poses the photopass photographers would have you do. and the pictures where they added little effects and characters? nico has every one saved to his phone.

- and the food? good lord nico was in calorie heaven. “what do you mean i can get a foot long hot dog?” “i read about this big ice cream sundae in a mickey sink, can we get one please?” “i can’t eat this pretzel…mickey’s looking at me!”

- speaking of mickey, when it comes time for the two of you to meet the famous mouse? nico is as excited as a kid (more than child in line in front of you, honestly). he’s nearly bouncing up and down by the time it’s your turn, speed walking to the small mouse and engulfing him in a crushing hug. mickey would point out your matching shirts, ‘laughing’ silently at his “we finish each other’s” shirt and your “sandwiches.” shirt. you’d watch nico’s chest puff out, proud he got a laugh out of mickey. your lock screen from that moment on is a candid picture of you laughing and nico’s own dimpled expression while both of you look at the mouse, amused with his implied words.

- when it comes to the fireworks at the end of the night, you’re camping out to make sure nico has the absolute best possible view. guarding your spot with your life as he goes and gets something for to two of you to snack on while you wait. “god, i’m glad you’re back, this women tried to sit her four kids down right in your spot!” you’d sigh in relief while he handed you a fried corn dog. “y/n…you should’ve just let the kids sit here, it’s fine,” he’d laugh out. “no! your first fireworks experience is going to be perfect,” you’d huff, crossing your arms in a pout.

- when the fireworks started, nico would do the cliche of standing behind you while wrapping his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder while your own hands rested atop of his wrapped around your waist. you’d hum along to the various songs incorporated into the show while nico watched intently, eyes sparkling with the images in the sky. he’d give little kisses to your cheek and neck during the section that showcases all of the different disney couples, whispering a small “thank you so much for bringing me here, i love you,” into your ear.

- the other parks? nico loved just as much. he spent hours in the star wars section of hollywood studios (and rode tower of terror as many times as you wanted). he enjoyed drinking, and more importantly eating, around the world in epcot, not caring about the amount of time he’d have to spend in the gym once the two of you got home. at animal kingdom, he’d keep dragging you from animal exhibit to animal exhibit, obsessively play carnival games in the dinoland section to win a stuffed dinosaur, and talk about how amazingly intense the avatar ride was for the rest of the day.

- and the second you two got back to jersey? immediately on the phone with his family, already planning a trip next off season to fly them out and take them with the two of you, wanting to experience the whole thing with his family like he wanted to when he was a little boy.

- and the next summer, when that trip came around, you got to watch him play tour guide to his parents and siblings. explaining to them everything you explained to him during his first trip. of course, like you always do, you started and ended your trip at magic kingdom. the last day of the trip with his family, though, he dropped to one knee during the fireworks and proposed to you right then and there. you always told him how even though people say it’s cliche, you always loved watching people get engaged in front of the castle, and now you were the one people were cheering and clapping for.

- and a year later, when the two of you were able to have the wedding of your dreams, the first place he flew you to was disney. you had booked an all inclusive, tropical island getaway for your honeymoon, but nico wanted to surprise you with a couple days in your his favorite place first.

- in true fashion, you started off your honeymoon in none other than magic kingdom. this time, however, any time the two of you would pass the spot where he proposed to you, he’d stop and tell anyone and everyone that walked by “this is where i proposed to her! and now she’s my wife!” while taking your wrist in his hand, holding your own up to show off the shiny ring on your finger. he’d even make you two get the matching bride and groom ear hats, customizing them with your wedding date. and the second he found out about the ‘happily ever after buttons?’ he was rushing to guest services to get a set for the two of you to wear (and he did, proudly, right on his chest).

- don’t even get me started on when the two of you decide to start a family, and your pregnancy is timed up perfectly with your (now annual) trip. you’d not only announce your pregnancy with a recreation of some themed announcement picture you found online, but also do your gender reveal the same trip. you’d take the sealed envelope to mickey, giving him the honor of revealing the gender of your unborn child.

- and the first trip the two of you take as a family of three?? oh god. nico is just…over the moon. he’s showing them everything, as if they’ll actually remember the trip. “and this is where your daddy proposed to your mommy, and this is where we told the world about you, and this is where your daddy ate a foot long hot dog for the first time, which is a really bad idea and he doesn’t recommend it,” he’d speak to your infant in a carrier strapped to his chest, bouncing and bobbing them along.

- and the year he lead the devils to a stanley cup win? you had the BIGGEST surprise waiting on him during the trip he still insisted your family go on. you arranged with the team to fly the stanley cup down to orlando for a day, and managed to get into contact with disney management, ensuring nico and your kids get their own, private meet and greet with mickey and the stanley cup. you worked with tom and the equipment managers and disney wardrobe experts themselves to special order a customized devils jersey for the mouse. so when nico rounded the corner into the large room, thinking it was your normal mickey greet, only to see mickey standing there, in a devils jersey beside of the cup sitting on a large table, the look on his face made all the planning and hassle worth it. the league had even sent representatives out to get their own promo pics, having nico pose with a stick in his own jersey beside the character. to this day, you still laugh at how it’s the league’s most liked picture on instagram.

- and as your family grew, the trips became better and better each year, but you always appreciated the times you and nico got to go without your kids, thinking back to that first trip you were able to show him your love for the place and watching his childlike wonder. he still tells everyone he proposed to you there every time you walk across your spot. he still points it out to your children every trip. he still makes sure your entire family is wearing matching shirts each trip. and he still has that first-trip wonder on his face each trip, still in awe of all the disney magic. but most of all, he’s in awe of you, the life you’ve built together, and your love of this place you poured into him resulting in the memories it holds for the two of you and your family.

[princessanonymous]

When Night Comes

Platonic Yandere Vampire

Previous Part | Next Part

First Chapter

17. 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽

From that moment on, (Y/n) clung to the new arrivant. While Dorian was relieved to know his partner had gotten over his initial dislike for the girl, he wondered what had been the catalyst for this change. The other day, the child had another nightmare. In the middle of the day, she had entered their room and made a beeline for Killian's coffin. The dark haired vampire had comforted her, while Dorian had smiled at the sight fondly. He preferred not to dwell too much on the cause of this positive outcome ; it was better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, as they said. Everything was good; everyone was in their place. It was almost perfect.

The girl would turn twelve in two weeks and the next blood moon would be a week after that. He knew Killian probably still planned to leave, but Dorian knew the other vampire well. His dear companion was so predictable. His compassion would make him stay. For their girl. He wouldn’t leave her. The blond just had to find a way to make him stay until the girl's turning.

He gazed out one of the study's windows and observed the silhouette riding on a horse outside in the night. He smiled, resting his chin on his hand as he followed Killian's path with his eyes. The dark haired vampire had always been one for the outdoors, even as a human. He had fascinated Dorian, and still did to this day. He could still vividly remember their first meeting, a memory that would never leave him.

· • —– ٠ ⏳ ٠ —– • ·

Humans, Dorian found, were quite interesting beings; they had this way of living — always in motion — that baffled him. Despite the specter of impermanence hanging over them, humans embraced life with a tenacity that Dorian found intriguing. They indulged in pleasures, sought out joys, and painted their existence with vibrant hues of experiences. It was a paradox that resonated with him on a profound level — the knowledge of an eventual end, yet an unwavering commitment to savoring every fleeting moment. It made him wonder if he had acted the same way once. 

There was a time, one or two forevers ago, when he too had been part of this vibrant dance of life. He had been human, a mere mortal swept up in the currents of time. He didn't remember much of his time as a human; his turning had erased most of his memories. Disappeared in an ember, a burned tableau turned to ashes dissolving in the wind of eternal change, leaving behind a void where his mortal past once thrived. He had started anew as a blank canvas; his own sire abandoning him carelessly only days following his turning.

"Tell me more about yourself, Monsieur de Beauvoir," a voice pierced through his contemplations, and he turned to regard the lady who had initiated the inquiry. Despite his charming smile, her name had already slipped through the crevices of his recollection.

"I am sure there are more interesting discussions than listening to the stories of a man such as myself, milady," he responded in a melodious voice.

The human giggled, as if that had been the funniest joke she had heard. "You are too humble, Duke de Beauvoir," she gushed. "What brought a Frenchman such as yourself to England ?" The lady asked, stepping closer.

 "I merely wished for a change of scenery," he replied vaguely, his tone carrying an air of mystery that only fueled the lady's curiosity.

The lady's words, laced with a hint of flirtation and delivered in a sultry voice, hung in the air like a delicate perfume, enveloping the space between them. "A great reason to make new acquaintances," she insinuated, her gaze locked with Dorian's, her proximity closing the gap between them.

In response, Dorian allowed a playful glint to flicker in his eyes, acknowledging the unspoken invitation. He was always willing to be entertained. He considered the possibility of continuing their exchange in a quieter corner of the palace, away from the prying eyes and curious gazes of the other attendants.

"A great way indeed," added a new person who inserted himself into the conversation, "Charlotte, why don't you introduce me to this fine gentleman ?" 

Dorian, accustomed to the art of captivating an audience, turned around with practiced grace, ready to unleash his signature charming smile. The voice that had interrupted their conversation had piqued his interest, and he welcomed the attention with a subtle anticipation. Among vampires, pride was a prevailing trait, and Dorian, in particular, relished the spotlight. The knowledge that others hung on his every word, that he could control the narrative and reveal only what he wished, provided him with an exhilarating rush.

As he prepared to unveil his charismatic persona, Dorian's poised demeanor faltered ever so slightly at the sight before him. Long wavy auburn hair lazily gracing his shoulders; sharp yet beautiful features and striking hazel eyes. Truly, a sight to behold. True beauty was something hard to come across, yet here it presented itself to him, in such unforeseen circumstances. The mortal put an arm protectively around the lady’s shoulders and Dorian narrowed his eyes slightly, unsure of their bond.

"Brother," Charlotte greeted with warmth, introducing the mysterious man at her side. "This is Duke Dorian de Beauvoir."

Dorian inclined his head with a polite acknowledgment, his charming smile remaining intact. "Bonsoir, it is a pleasure to meet you," he trailed off, trying to catch the name of the stranger.

"Killian," he supplied. "Killian Ambrose-Hart."

"Ambrose," he mused inwardly. An ancient name, steeped in history, meaning Immortal. Everlasting. The serendipity of the encounter was not lost on Dorian. His lips curled up. This must have been fated. Dorian's eyes, still retaining their playful gleam, lingered on Killian for a moment longer. 

"Why don't you join us," the blond suggested, gesturing at an empty seat at their table.

"Brother, sir de Beauvoir is from France," Charlotte informed him. "He was about to tell me more about himself."

"Nothing quite interesting, I'm afraid," he responded a bit dismissively, turning his attention back on the brother who had sat down reluctantly. "London is grand and lively, nothing like what I am used to from France. I would need someone to show me around to get accustomed to the new scenery."

When the other didn't seem to get the hint, the conversation continued, the sister trying to get Dorian's attention while he had been ensnared by the unsuspecting brother. The siblings eventually departed and the blond was left bitter.

Now that Dorian knew he existed, no other man would suffice. The heart wanted what it wanted, and his ? Well, his wanted this elusive human.

· • —– ٠ ⌛️ ٠ —– • ·

"Are you almost done ?" (Y/n)'s modulated voice brought him back to reality.

His eyes landed on her, adorning a magnificent rose red dress that complimented her complexion. She posed on a black chair, elegant and youthful. He looked back at his tableau.

His first and last human portrait of her. Her skin still glowed with colorful warm hues, her eyes lacked any hint of red and her teeth were dull compared to that of vampires. He rarely captured life, but he was willing to make an exception for his child. Soon she would be different. For the better, but nonetheless different.

He wondered how she would react to her turning. He would ensure it would be as painless as he possibly could. This would certainly be a night to remember, and perhaps even the first she would remember. Dorian wondered if like him, she would be among the few who lost their memory of their human life following their turning. He hoped she would. Starting anew with her would be the greatest gift that could be given to him. He could educate and mold her properly; no pesky memories of her parents and her peasant life. She would only know him and Killian.

He turned back towards her. "Not yet, doll," he answered and chuckled as she sighed. "Be patient— and smile."

"Do you often paint ?" She asked, perhaps trying to make the time pass faster.

"For as long as I can remember," he answered. A talent he must had retained from his human life, he supposed. "All paintings on display on this floor were made by me."

"Really ?" She turned around, pointing at one portrait of him and Killian in the room. "Even this one ?"

"Indeed," he confirmed with a smile, then added: "Stop moving, doll."

"Isn't it easier to bring in a painter to paint you and him together ?" (Y/n) asked, settling back into place.

"We tried," he acknowledged, "but we found mine always turned out better."

Painters had this ability of picking up small details most didn't see. Teeth too white, fangs too sharp, skin taking a deathly color. They saw too much. They showed too much. They accentuated it all too much, peeling away the carefully crafted façade created by them. Presenting what wasn’t meant to be shown ; what they didn’t want to be shown.

"They really are pretty," she complimented.

"Thank you," he smiled. "We are almost done."

[onyourowndaisymae]

would i follow these obey me characters on social media? + social media headcanons

explanations + hcs below the cut:

content warnings: playful mentions of cyberbullying/death threats (reader's discretion advised)

post notifications on, loyal mutuals for life: thirteen, barbatos, mammon, satan

you cannot convince me thirteen does not have the funniest fucking twitter imaginable. she posts a lot of funny shit herself but also retweets a lot of good content too. she seems like the type to get in fights on social media and win by humiliating her opponent in the funniest way possible. probably makes a lot of jokes about fucking one or both of your parents

the barbatos one might be controversial but hear me out. i think that any account he'd run in association to his work would be dry as hell. but a personal, deeply private account? funny as FUCK. i think this man wouldn't post very often but when he does, it is quite literally some of the funniest shit you've ever seen. he's ancient, too, so i think he'd be persistent. just years of logging on to tell elon musk to k*ll himself (whiCH I AM NOT ENDORSING @ THE GOV IM JUST MAKING A JOKE OKAY WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HERE) in new and creative ways

mammon would probably post a lot about his shenanigans and that to me is worth tuning in to. i think his social media would consist of him posting about a new scheme/plan part of the way through (when things are most exciting) and then updating hours/days later with an "update: lucifer caught me and made me wear a dunce hat for a week straight" or something like that

satan would post the most normally in this category but i think he'd have some genuinely interesting stuff. he'd probably use a photo-based platform like instagram (technically devilgram but y'know what i mean) and his content would fall into two categories: cat pics and the most amazing, exclusive events you've ever seen. he'll post a photo dump of cats he feeds one week and then next is him at some gorgeous exclusive hot springs on a free trip one of his connections invited him on.

mutuals by choice <3: asmo, simeon, luke, levi

asmo posts a lot about himself, but like. c'mon. he's so pretty. and he also just posts a lot of pretty aesthetic influencer photos so it's nice to see him on your feed. he posts a lot, too, so your feed never quite runs dry when he's your mutual. he's also the type to hype your photos up in the comments like you're the only other person on the platform. lots of heart emojis and flirtatious comments on very mundane posts

simeon would be fun to follow in the way that old people are fun to follow on social media. long, sweet captions on his weekly post (that someone helped him post), cute but off-center selfies with the things he cares about, funny grandpa comments on your photos-- ex. "nice photo mc... 👍" without realizing how funny that comes off

luke is just cute and posts cute things. lots of stray animals, pretty sunsets, and cute baked goods. he's even got a few rare photos of barbatos on there looking slightly relaxed. levi made luke's accounts private when he first set them up bc he's been on too many weird corners of the internet to let that innocent angel be corrupted.

speaking of levi, he'd post a LOT about his dorky (affectionate) interests. he's one of the few that would post every day on multiple platforms. there's a pretty small chance you care about each and every thing he posts but regardless, it's nice to see him so enthused and happy.

mutuals bc i'd feel bad unfollowing: belphie, lucifer, diavolo, mephisto

belphie's accounts have all been inactive for YEARS, but if you unfollow him he does get offended. he found out asmo unfollowed him at some point and started an argument about it.

lucifer's social media is also rarely active, but anything he posts is usually at least a little important, so if you unfollow he'll know and get on you about missing it.

diavolo's account is quite literally all royal bullshit and official devildom information, but seeing as he doesn't have personal social media, he still values his friends following him. if you unfollow, his feelings will be hurt, but he'll stay quiet about it.

mephisto's account literally just posts the same lame shit that the RAD newspaper account does, word-for-word and post-for-post. unfollowing either of these accounts comes off as a slight from the feeble human that doesn't care about the devildom. his complaining is always so loud.

not following + no plans to follow: beel, raphael

beel posts exclusively about food. he doesn't run a food-themed account, that's literally all he finds interesting enough to post. he rates all of his meals after he finishes, too. fun, but not my type of content.

something in my heart of hearts tells me raphael's photos are all blurry. like he just thinks his D.D.D. camera is bad when really he won't focus the damn camera before taking a pic.

blocked, reported, cyberbullied for good measure: solomon

i KNOW this man is a menace on social media. he probably eggs on conspiracy theorists and purposely spreads misinformation. it's funny at first until following him starts filling your feed with the crazy bullshit he likes/retweets. he is playing devil's advocate on social media for the dumbest, most argumentative people online bc he thinks it's funny and it's quite literally going to drive you insane if you don't block him. when he's causing problems, he's posting stupid shit. he'd be the type to unironically post the "saw a snail today. effervescent" shit

[myx-on-earth]

Content Warning: Landfall Game's April Fools Triumph

For the Content!

It would seem that an April Fools joke of a game has resulted in overnight indie success. Landfall Games, a beloved indie game studio, has a yearly April Fools tradition they call “Landfall Day”, where their devs put together essentially a parody of whatever game is popular at the time. They’ve parodied everything from DayZ to battle royales (Twice, with Totally Accurate Battlegrounds and Knightfall), and this year it would seem it’s Lethal Company’s turn.

Lethal Company is a game known for silly co-op shenanigans that seem to instantly translate into YouTube content- and Content Warning takes that idea and turns it up to 11, making being an influencer a part of the game mechanics. You and a group of friends take a diving bell to “The Old World”, a spooky map filled with monsters and traps entirely for the sake of internet entertainment value. With a single camera and 90 seconds of film, your group has to make the spookiest, funniest video possible- because your only source of income is Spooktube, and that revenue doesn’t come easily.

It's such a brilliant parody of both the horror genre Lethal Company tapped into and the loop of content creation in the internet age that it, somehow, wraps around to being an excellent game in of itself, though Landfall is no stranger to finding gold through satire. Previously, their first battle royale parody (Totally Accurate Battlegrounds, a riff on PUBG) found some success, enough that Landfall turned it into a full venture. It’s not as popular nowadays, but it IS legitimately good- and Content Warning seems to be turning out the same way with its initial popularity and engaging premise.

Typical Content Warning video result, featuring myself, @thatpocketninja, @squiddskipp, and a third friend who requested to remain anonymous

In the space of video game development, April Fools seems to be not so much a “joke” day, but a day that allows ideas to be thrown around that might not otherwise have been considered, which can lead to majorly creative leaps of faith. With examples like the Yakuza series’ pivot to turn-based combat, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon’s continued success in the midst of a floundering Ubisoft, and even Lilith Walther’s upcoming definitely-not-Bloodborne Kart (now known as Nightmare Kart), the idea of “joke turned legitimate gamedev venture” isn’t exactly new.

I actually had the pleasure of exchanging emails with Hanna Fogelberg (@thebirdmountain on Twitter), Landfall's Head of Community, who provided some insight into Content Warning’s development and the overwhelming response in the interview below.

1. What's it like to go to bed seeing some success, then waking up to find your joke game is a viral hit? Did you expect this at all, given the surprising amount of polish it has?

"We couldn't sleep to tell you the truth! Even if the team said good night at about 2am we kept texting the player numbers to each other throughout the night, we were very wired! We always knew there was the potential of the game going really well, there's something about the design and shareability of the videos you make that we knew could hit it big but it's still surprising it went THIS well."

2. How long did it take to develop Content Warning?

"Content Warning was made in about six weeks of active game development, but the idea came to us back in December!"

3. What were your main inspirations for the game? (Beyond Lethal Company, of course)

“Lethal Company and similar games were an obvious reference for the gameplay loop, we love that game! That said, what was most interesting to us was the core of the game - the filming and video creation. We were inspired by YouTubers and influencer culture, there's something interesting in people risking life and limb for content that we wanted to play off of. 

Other than that, the vibes of The Older World were inspired by Junji Ito and a specific H.R Giger painting while The Over World references the Swedish children's book Pettson och Findus.”

4. How experienced was the dev team?

“We're pretty experienced, the Landfall team has been making games for over 10 years with previous releases being Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, Stick Fight: The Game, Clustertruck and Rounds to mention a few.”

5. How does this experience compare to the last semi-viral success Landfall had with a Landfall Day game? (TABG)

“This game outdid TABG in player numbers several times over! So it's hard to compare, this is by far our most viral hit to date.” 6. Any plans for the future of the game? Or just basic bug fixes and some more content? 

“We will see! Currently, we're focusing on fixing bigger bugs and other issues but we already have some new content planned. We're kind of playing it by ear at this point, it all depends on how things go in the coming weeks.”

Some may attribute Content Warning’s success to multiple factors- the 24 hour free period, how it riffs on Lethal Company and the tropes it already employs, or even that it was “designed to go viral”- but you can’t deny that, even as an iterative piece, it still manages to find its own identity and already seems to have captured the content creation hearts of everyone who gives it a chance. Games like this, that aren’t reliant on micro transactions and are buoyed by the PEOPLE you play with, rather than the money that one must spend on it, are the hope- and, hopefully, the future- of the video games industry. You can find Content Warning (No longer free, but still very cheap!) at the link below: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2881650/Content_Warning/

[deusvervewrites]

Escaping Gravity: Izuku went to Nighteye for a work study, but left after he insulted Ochako. And Ochako stole Overhauls Quirk during the raid, but Endeavor wasn't at the raid in canon. So who were Izuku and Ochako working under during the Overhaul Raid?

I was going to joke about the funniest possibility being that Uraraka was kidnapped and the entire Endeavor agency plus Midoriya descended on the Eight Precepts like a horde of locusts.

And then, as I gave my serious answer and researched canon a bit more, I realized it might not be a joke.

Because Midoriya wasn't there, Togata never encountered Eri, meaning that Nighteye never makes the connection regarding the origin of the Quirk-Destroying Bullets. This is important because that's what allowed the raid to happen--they didn't actually have any proof of the Eight Precepts selling the Quirk-Destroyers, it was conjecture from the groups that used it having made dealings with the Precepts in the past. Them seeing Eri covered in bandages is how Nighteye realized the origin of the human cells in the recovered drugs. Nighteye's clowenery only deepens the more I learn.

(Fun fact! Nighteye's investigation on the Precepts had only been happening for two weeks before the raid! That's a detail I forgot about!)

Without that connection, Nighteye is floundering to come up with something to actually pin the Precepts with while they continue to amass power. And Uraraka's relation to AFO was made public at Kamino. It's not a stretch for Overhaul to assume she has the ability to steal Quirks, meaning he can use her for the drugs as well.

(I doubt that would work with nowhere to transfer the Quirk to, but this guy thinks Quirks are caused by rats so he's clearly not the brightest)

Nabbing her on her way to--or, more likely, from the Endeavor Agency while she's tired wouldn't be that hard given the Eight Bullets' Quirks, especially if they ambushed her with the incomplete Quirk-Destroyer.

UA calls Endeavor to ask where Uraraka is, Endeavor replies that she was headed back to UA, they realize that means she's missing and both quickly mobilize. Endeavor finds the dart at the scene, compares notes with Fat Gum, and deduces why she was taken. From there, traffic cameras and similar means can help narrow down who took her and where, giving them plausible connection to the Precepts.

These also means there is a very funny possibility that the Nighteye Agency does not get to participate in this raid.

As for Midoriya, well, it's working out for Uraraka to be at Endeavor's Agency and he would absolutely refuse to sit out her rescue and the Endeavor's Agency is his best bet for that.

[mistkisbiggestfan]

hey i kinda saw an opposite! tadc AU, i was wondering if you could do some general HC’s about how you think they would act and what dating them would be like?

have a great day or afternoon :D

Opposite AU! TADC Cast x Gn! Reader - Part 1

Tadc Cast x Gn! Reader

A/n: Hey guyssss, missed me? /j REQUESTS FOR TADC ARE OPEN!!

Summary: Opposite Au! TADC and how they are as lovers, part 1 Words: 1212 Request: Yes

HC for: Caine, Pomni, Jax, Gangle (Others will be in part 2)

Pomni —> Snarky, funny, very confident, flirty

Jax —> Anxious, panics a lot, 

Caine —> Out of it, doesn’t talk, a silent observer, creepish 

Ragatha —> Mean, not a people pleaser, 

Gangle —> You know those people in movies who are french, drink and smoke, and are basically depressed artists? Yeah, that’s her. She has two masks; a fiery, really angry one, and a fuck off, depressed one. 

Zooble —> Cares about others a lot, always helping

Kinger —> The most sane one, a father figure for others, very patient

✶ Caine ✶: 

Out of everyone, the worst partner, sorry. 

I mean the opposite! Caine just doesn’t understand real people. Like at all.

Can you even call it a romance? He learns a lot about humans through this relationship though.

This is basically a Character.Ai just worse. He doesn’t really talk, but is learning to do so, even though he is the ringmaster, and even after so many people have come and gone through the circus, it always seems like he just can’t grasp it. 

Takes a lot to calculate answers, especially when you try to make a move on him. 

Has a lot of already pre-made answers, like laughing at jokes. 

His code is made in a way that if it thinks something said is a joke, he laughs. 

“So Jax tripped and I said: You should learn how to walk again.” “✶Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha✶” 

Wally Darling type of laugh, very rhythmic, lacks emotion to it.

If he feels like he's falling for you, he’ll be gone for days, trying to see what’s wrong with his code. 

It goes on to the point that even the most uninterested person in the circus (Gangle) is mildly worried.

You’ll have to find him somehow, look at him and just let everything play out.

You stumbled across the digital land, looking for one person, well, AI, he was gone for almost a week already. This was weird, even weirder than him just hanging around you all, not a word escaping, just cold, calculating and all-seeing eyes. 

No member of the circus liked him that much. He just reminded them that with everyday that passes by, their humanity slips away more and more. But you, somehow, found him endearing, you got to know a side of him hid away, the one that was rather, nice? 

Finally, you saw a familiar figure, he sat, his legs dangling off the edge to the void, a big screen with lines of code, you cleared your throat. Not catching his attention, you decided to walk over and sit next to him.

The screen shut, yet he stayed silent, looking in front of him. A drop of sweat rolled down your face, you weren’t sure how it was possible but you’ll dwell on that later.

– …✶My Code, It Has To Be Broken✶…

– Why do you think so..?

– ✶ I Shouldn’t Be Feeling This, I Shouldn’t Be Feeling Anything, This Is New, New Code Should Be Impossible To Write Itself On Its Own✶”

– Well, there are always times for something new, right?

– ✶ I Don’t Understand✶…

– Let me help you do so, Caine. 

☆ Pomni ☆:

Extremely confident about herself.

Almost like normal Jax, almost, she’s just a bit better, and people actually like her.

The funniest person in the circus, the backbone of the community lmao.

When in a relationship she would be the flirtiest mf out there.

Is able to say the corniest and dumbest pickup line without feeling an ounce of shame.

Her ego is twice her size lmao.

She is snarky, sure, but still respects her friends and you, maybe except for Jax.

Really hates Jax for some reason (Because she sees him as a “weakling”)

WILL call you inappropriate names.

“I’m going to snap you in half Pomni.” “Kinky.” or “What if I like that?”

Has some soft moments, rarely, and will immediately act like nothing happened.

In reality she’s scared of messing up, but on the other hand how could she?

Almost too confident, having a heart to heart with her is HARD.

But it does happen!....Once or twice.

Invades your personal space, a personal space invader /ref

Sometimes when you show attraction to each other you just see opposite! Caine staring you two down.

She doesn’t care, and goes on to hit on you harder. 

Knows how to be mean just enough for you to still feel fine, that’s a true skill.

❀ Jax ❀:

Worse than normal! Pomni, he is panicking at all times.

A sweetheart when no one is shitting on him.

Like in normal Digital Circus everybody hates him, somehow they do so here too. 

You will have to reassure him a lot, like, a lot.

Since everybody puts him down and/or makes him panic.

A miracle that he’s not abstracted yet.

Yet.

Anyways, hold him, please he might die otherwise lmao.

And please, call him Jaxy, he will immediately do anything you say no questions asked.

Has keys to everyone's rooms out of safety reasons, really

Has a lot of fur, bro’s a walking plushy, instead of being a smooth bastard like normal! Jax.

A walking radiator, even though temperature is technically non-existent here.

If you fight he’s like: 

“My partner is mad at me…

…hope I die.”

If you’re really mad and don’t let him inside of your room, he will stay next to the door waiting, like a kicked puppy, won’t invade your space though, even with the keys to your room.

It’s only when you heard at least two people making fun of him for being pathetic that you let him in.

The little spoon while cuddling, or just nuzzles into you, even though he’s way taller than you. 

〹 Gangle 〹:

Living that “tormented, misunderstood artist” life. 

Has two masks: A semi depressed, apathetic, sassy one, and an all time angry one.

Breaks the angry mask while wearing it, is too focused on art and cares too little to fix it, nobody tries to fix it because they’re scared lmao.

Caine just spawns a new one after sometime, no clue why

Anyways very focused on her art, nobody can get in her studio,

Except for you, you have a free pass since you’re her s/o

Sometimes the relationship can get very toxic, if she’s painting or doing anything she won’t talk with anyone, get angry when they interrupt her, and will be gone from everything for up to a week. 

But it's those amazing highs of your romance that keep you two going.

She calls you her “muse”. 

Will say that you were created specifically as an artistic blessing for her, take that as you will. 

If you look at the definition of tired it has just a picture of opposite! Gangle.

Won’t ever tell you that but you’re the reason she didn’t abstract yet. 

Before you showed up she was going through a total burn out so you were truly a divine creature sent for her to study and capture as best as she can.

Is somehow able to smoke cigarettes? Where do they come from? How can she smoke with no lungs? How do those cigarettes light up? No clue. 

“Paint me like one of your french girls.” /ref

[shelbystales]

Ceramic Lessons - Part Four

Cillian Murphy X Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3

Summary: after much insistence from his sister, Cillian attends a ceramics class with her. To his surprise, he feels a connection to the teacher, you. Will this connection go any further or will it be smashed like a bad ceramic project?

Warning: Fluff

A/N: a small reminder that this has nothing to do with his real life.

English is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Cillian had woken up and was finishing up Lukas' things for school while the kid was having his breakfast: eggs and toast with warm milk. 

When Cillian returned to the living room, Sile was seated at the dining table next to Lukas, engaged in conversation with him. She had slept over. Lukas was laughing as he wiped his dirty hand on the white shirt of his school uniform.

"Use the napkin to clean your hands, buddy," Cillian said, placing Lukas' backpack on the table and sliding closer to him a napkin, which Lukas grabbed in a handful.

"Hey, you. Came home late last night, huh? Didn’t see you come in" Sile teased, raising an eyebrow at her brother. "I don't even need to ask if you had fun," she chuckled while Cillian smiled, slightly embarrassed.

"You had fun without me?" Lukas asked, and Cillian furrowed his brows, smiling at his son.

"Do you really think that's possible? You're my funniest buddy," he said, ruffling Lukas' hair, earning a proud smile from the young boy.

Cillian headed to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee he started to prepare earlier, with Sile following closely behind.

"Spill it," she demanded, crossing her arms.

Cillian opened the overhead cabinet and grabbed two coffee cups, one for himself and another for his nosy sister.

"He gave you a hard time yesterday?" he asked as he poured coffee into the cups.

"No, you know the kid is an angel. Took a while to fall asleep, but then I added a bit of whiskey to his tea, and it knocked him out," she joked, making Cillian squint at her as he handed her the cup. "Now tell meeee," she pleaded, tapping her foot on the ground, making him chuckle.

"You're quite annoying," he said, leaning against the kitchen counter, perfectly positioned to watch his son eating and playing with his toy dinosaur.

"And you're unbearable. Now that we've exchanged pleasantries, spill the tea," she said in a playful tone.

"It was good," he smiled, looking at her.

"Just that? Where did you take her? Did you kiss? Are you going out again? My god, can't you tell a proper gossip?" She laughed.

"I took her to a newly opened vegetarian restaurant, the one Pad said was interesting. And If he found a vegetarian restaurant interesting, I assumed it would be good," he grinned, and she nodded, agreeing with his logic. Pad is a very carnivorous guy.. "It was good, yes, we did kiss, and no, we haven't made any other plans yet. I'll text her later," he explained.

Sile had an enormous smile and a gleam in her eyes that a child would have upon receiving a pile of presents.

"Ah, that's exciting," she said, giving her brother a playful shove. "You can thank me by buying me an expensive gift for my birthday this year," she said, making him roll his eyes and leave the kitchen.

"Ready to go, champ?" Cillian said, looking at his wristwatch. "Need a ride?" he asked his sister.

"No, I'll take an Uber to work," Sile replied.

She was without a car because her husband was traveling with the vehicle, so she was managing with rideshares and Ubers.

Cillian nodded, and they all left the house together. He waited for his sister's Uber to arrive before getting into his car and driving to Lukas' school, which wasn't far from his house.

After dropping Lukas off at school, he took out his phone and sent you a message.

"Hey, I've been thinking about you.

Had a great time last night.

Maybe we can see each other again sometime this week?"

When you read his message, you smiled. Your phone was on your countertop, but you couldn't reply. You were in the middle of your first class of the day, and your hands were covered in clay.

After an hour or so, you finally replied:

“I would like that. Want to go to the beach? They look incredible this time of the year.”

Not long after, he replied:

“Sounds fun. When are you free?”

“Well, the only day I don’t have classes in the afternoon is Wednesday,” you texted back.

“Wednesday it is! Pick you up at 16:00?”

“Yep! That works.”

You noticed you were smiling as you put your phone down. You liked the idea that he didn’t ask if you wanted a ride, he just offered it as a part of the package.

The anticipation continued to fill your thoughts. You found yourself checking your phone more often than usual, eagerly awaiting his messages. You wanted to but it was hard to not anxiously think about your date with him in the next few days. You looked forward to it, loving the idea of having him again. 

Each time he texted, you felt a rush of excitement, appreciating the little conversations and the effort he put into staying in touch. During the following days he texted you a few times, one time to settle the beach you were going to go, one time to ask if you ate cheese and another time to say he had thought about you after one of the members of his project wore a cow’s shirt with writing “Cows are friends, not food”. 

You weren’t far behind. You made efforts to continue in touch as well, sending him pics of your ceramic projects and telling him funny moments during your classes. The lines of communication between you were becoming more fluid and comfortable.

The days leading up to your beach day felt like a countdown, each passing moment bringing you closer to another chance to spend time with him.

As you stood in front of your closet, you deliberated over what to wear. You wanted to strike the right balance between looking casual and put-together. Your choice landed on a flowy white sundress adorned with a delicate floral pattern. The lightweight fabric would keep you comfortable in the warm weather, and you complemented the look with stylish sunglasses, and an eco-friendly tote bag slung over your shoulder. Inside the tote bag, you packed a bottle of wine, sunscreen, some snacks, and a picnic blanket, fully prepared for a day at the beach.

After you got ready, you waited for him in front of your building. Happily, you didn't have to wait long, as he arrived right after. He stepped out of his car, looking effortlessly stylish in a light blue button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of well-fitted khaki shorts and a beautiful pair of raybans. His brown leather sandals completed the look, giving off a relaxed vibe.

As he walked to you he slid his sunglasses to rest on top of his head, revealing his gorgeous blue eyes to you. 

With a friendly smile, he greeted you. "Hi, beautiful. Ready?" he asked, holding the car door open for you just like before.

You nodded, excitement and a hint of nervousness bubbling up. "Definitely," you replied, offering a smile as you kissed him on the cheek before sliding into the passenger seat.

The drive to the beach was a pleasant one. The sunroof was open, allowing the warm breeze to tousle your hair as you chatted. The coastal road stretched out ahead, offering glimpses of the sparkling ocean to your right. The view was mesmerizing with the waves crashing against the shore

During the drive, you exchanged stories about your days, and you delved into a lengthy discussion about the popular TV show "Succession," which you were currently obsessed with. You shared your thoughts on the characters, plot twists, and speculated about what might happen next in the series. The conversation just naturally flowing between you both. 

As you talked and laughed together, the beach grew closer.

He parked the car, and you both got out, the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean filling the air around you. He opened the trunk to reveal a picnic basket he had prepared away earlier.

"Oh, looks like you came prepared," you giggled, noticing the sizable basket.

He smiled back. "I guess you can say I’m trying to impress a girl, you know… She’s pretty special."

You smiled at him, your heart warming at his words. He surely did make you feel special. 

He held his hand out to you, and you interwined your fingers as you walked towards the beach, scanning for a quiet spot to settle. The beach was relatively empty, which was one of the main reasons you had chosen it.

Between two gently swaying palm trees, you discovered a perfect and secluded spot away from the gaze of the beach crowd. Cillian efficiently unfurled a vibrant picnic blanket on the soft sand, placing yours on top of it for added comfort and protection from the fine grains. The two of you settled down comfortably, facing the vast expanse of the ocean that stretched out in front of you.

He smoothly retrieved a pair of small glasses from his picnic basket, holding them out to you. "Wine?" he asked, his voice carrying a touch of playful anticipation as he handed you one.

"Absolutely!" You responded with a warm smile, your fingers wrapping around the delicate glass as you accepted it from him. "I also brought a bottle," you added

"Perfect," he grinned, his fingers deftly uncorking the bottle. As he opened it, his blue shirt hugged his form, and you couldn't help but admire the way his biceps flexed against the fabric, igniting an undeniable attraction.

With the glasses now filled, he set the bottle aside and picked up his own glass. Raising it in a silent toast, he met your gaze, a glint of excitement in his eyes. You clinked your glass against his, the delicate sound resonating through the quiet beach. 

He opened the picnic basket, to  place the bottle back in the basket and started to reveal an array of delicious treats. There were a variety of cheeses, some type of fruits, a small container of hummus, some crackers, and some nuts. The spread looked amazing, and you couldn't help but be impressed.

“My brother gave me some suggestions to pair well with the wine,” he chuckled.

“I’m impressed, Cillian” you smiled, taking the snack you bought from your bag glad you went with sweeter choices, you took out the mini chocolate muffins and vanilla cookies. 

“I think we have a proper meal, here” he smiled and you nodded

"Absolutely. Is your brother a sommelier?" you asked curiously, taking a sip from your glass as your eyes locked onto his.

He chuckled. "No, he's not. But he could be," he replied with a smile. "He actually went to culinary school. Knows a thing or two about flavors."

"That's interesting. Is he a chef then?" you inquired, your gaze fixed on him as you continued your conversation.

"No, not really. He's a lawyer," he explained, causing you to furrow your brow in surprise.

"What?" you exclaimed, feeling a bit taken aback.

"Yeah," he laughed, "he decided to switch career paths, hoping for a more secure income in the future. But he still dreams of opening a restaurant someday. But I guess you can say he’s the family chef"

"Oh, That makes sense," you nodded and let your gaze sweep over the stunning view in front of you. The beach stretched out as far as the eye could see, the golden sand meeting the sparkling blue waves under the clear sky “It’s beautiful here”.

"It sure is," he agreed, his eyes fixed on you. You felt a warmth spread through you as you met his gaze. The sunglasses shielded his eyes, but you could still sense his attention on you.

He moved on the picnic blanket, moving closer and sitting beside you. His shoulder brushed against yours as you both faced the vast expanse of the ocean. With the sun still shining brightly, you both opted for sunglasses to protect your eyes.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you in close. The feeling of his warmth against your side was comforting, and you sighed contentedly. Together, you sat there, taking in the breathtaking view and enjoying the tranquility of the moment.

The sound of the waves crashing against the shore provided a soothing background melody, the salty breeze tousling your hair. 

You closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling the fresh ocean air, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. Having him by your side made the experience even more special. 

As you opened your eyes again, you stole a glance at him. His profile against the backdrop of the ocean was a sight to behold—strong, yet gentle. The hint of a smile played on his lips, and his relaxed posture exuded a sense of calm.

"I'm really glad we came here," you said softly, breaking the comfort silence between you.

"Me too," he replied, his gaze never leaving the horizon.

You took off your glasses and looked at him with a caring smile. "Hey, let me see your eyes," you requested, your fingers lightly tracing his cheek as you rested your arm weight on his shoulder.

"Why?" he chuckled, his curiosity piqued.

"I like the sight of them," you replied with a grin, your touch gentle against his skin.

Still smiling, he complied and removed his sunglasses. His mesmerizing blue eyes met yours, a warmth and intensity in his gaze that sent a shiver down your spine. 

“There they are,” your smile widened, and you couldn't help but be captivated by his eyes. "You're very handsome, you know that?" you asked, your words filled with genuine admiration.

His cheeks tinged with a soft blush, his gaze momentarily shifting to the horizon. His reaction surprised you, revealing a shy side you hadn't seen before. It was endearing.

He moved his tongue inside his mouth, moistening his lips as he gathered his thoughts, his gaze returning to meet yours.

"Did I make you blush?" you asked, a playful smirk in your tone.

"You sure did," he admitted, his eyes holding a mixture of embarrassment and amusement.

"I thought you'd be used to compliments," you remarked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

He shrugged casually, his lips quirking into a half-smile. "Well, I’m. Sort of." he chuckled “but it feels different coming from you”

“How so?” you frowned friendly gazing him

He shrugged again, a hint of sheepishness in his expression. "I don't know, it just feels... more meaningful, I guess."

Your heart fluttered at his response, touched by the sincerity in his words. A warm smile spread across your face as you leaned in, closing the distance between you. Your lips met his in a soft, sweet kiss. Slowly tasting his lips, the wine adding a acidity to the experience. The kiss deepened naturally as you both slowly enjoyed the soft and warm feeling of each other's lips. 

The connection you shared was undeniable, a blend of attraction, genuine interest, and the desire to get to know each other better making everything so exciting… You almost felt like a teenage girl. 

As the kiss deepened, a spark of desire ignited between you as the passion grew, your lips moving against his with a fervor that mirrored the feelings building within you. 

His hand caressed your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin in a tender gesture. Your heart raced, the chemistry between you intensifying with each passing second.

Eventually, the need for air forced you both to pull away, your foreheads resting against each other as you caught your breath. A soft chuckle escaped his lips, and you couldn't help but smile in response.

With the passion of the kiss still lingering in the air, he left a few gentle pecks on your lips, his hands cupped your cheeks, his touch warm and reassuring, as he inched closer, his lips brushing against yours once again. After a series of sweet, lingering kisses, he finally pulled away, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. You couldn't help but smile in response, your fingers brushing against his as you shared a comfortable silence.

He shifted his attention, his fingers reaching for the small container of hummus. "Wanna try the hummus? I made it myself," he offered, a playful grin on his lips as he scooped up some hummus and placed it on a cracker for you.

"Hmm, I do!" you replied enthusiastically, glad for the change in direction. As you bit into the cracker, the creamy hummus spread across your taste buds, and you couldn't help but let out a satisfied hum. "This is delicious! Are you sure your brother is the family chef?" you praised, your eyes dancing with appreciation.

He chuckled, his gaze warm as he watched you enjoy the food. "I try my best. I’t’s actually his recipe" he replied modestly, a sense of pride evident in his expression.

“Ooh, okay. I like it” you said smiling and you both continued on talking, snacking and watching the view. 

The sun finally began to set, casting a warm and vibrant display of colors across the sky. The fading light illuminated his features, making him look even more alluring. You couldn't help but notice how good he looked under the sunset light.

"Tell me about your family," he said, taking a sip from his now-refilled glass of wine.

"Sure, my parents live here in Dublin. They're still married after almost 50 years," you chuckled.

"Impressive," he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... they're very religious. Don't believe in divorce, but they believe in therapy," you smiled, a hint of humor in your tone. "I guess that's the secret."

"It would make sense if it was," he agreed, his eyes showing a genuine interest in learning more about you.

"Yeah, I have a sister as well, but she lives in France now. She moved a few months ago to work as a clothing designer. We keep in touch often, I’m planning on visiting her soon" you continued, your expression becoming more thoughtful. "I guess you can say I'm pretty close to my parents, to my family. My mom, especially. She knows everything about my life."

“Everything?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"Yeah, my mom even knows about you," you replied with a playful smile, noticing his gaze turning admiring as he looked at you. "It wasn't always like that, though," you continued, your tone growing more serious. "I was a difficult teenager, very rebellious, and often angry. We grew closer after the difficult events with my ex," you revealed, your eyes holding a mixture of vulnerability as you played with the picnic blanket fabric under your body.

"Rebellious? I could never have guessed that," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Yeah, it might be hard to believe now, but I had my moments," you admitted, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I guess back then I was lost… and we all go through phases, right?"

He smiled back, a playful glint in his eyes. "I suppose so. I'm not looking forward to that with Lukas," he admitted, making you chuckle.

"I'm sure you'll handle it well with your caring attitude," you said, sipping your wine and making him smile. "How about you? I know you have two siblings."

"I actually have three: Páidi, Sile, and Orla," he told you.

"Oh, Tell me more about them," you prompted, genuinely interested in getting to know his family better.

Cillian chuckled, clearly comfortable talking about them. "Sure, let's see. Páidi, my oldest brother, he's the responsible one but also quite a fun company. In a way he is always looking out for us, making sure things are in order, he's a lawyer after all. He definitely has that logical, analytical mind but he can also be a trickster." he chuckled "And Sile,she is the youngest, and you know she is a bundle of energy. She's outgoing, fun-loving, and has this infectious enthusiasm. She can be a pain too" he smiled, you nodded knowing exactly what he was talking about "And then there's Orla, she’s younger than Pad and my older sister. She's the quiet one, more reserved and introspective. Orla is an artist, a painter to be exact. She's got this incredible depth to her, always observing." Cillian's affection for his siblings was evident in the way he spoke about them "We're all pretty close, despite our differences”

"So you all get along well?" you asked preparing hummus cracker 

He leaned back, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Yeah, we do. We have our moments, of course, but overall we're pretty close. After our parents died we started to put some effort into staying close. We supported each other through that hard time”

“I’m so sorry about your parents! Is it recent?” you asked concern on your voice

“Sort of. Dad died a year and a half ago. Mom died four years ago. She had cancer and he had heart problems, physically and emotionally. He never got over mom’s death, he was quite depressed afterwards” He explained  

You nodded sympathetically as he shared about his parents' passing. "It must be really tough to lose someone you've been so close to," you said softly, feeling a pang of sadness for his loss. "I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you and your siblings."

He sighed, his gaze distant for a moment. "Yeah, it was. But we leaned on each other, and it helped us get through it. And now, we try to keep their memory alive by staying connected."

"That's a beautiful way to honor them," you replied with a sincere smile

The topic shifted naturally into your likes and dislikes, as you both shared more about your interests, preferences, and even some quirky habits. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and you found yourselves laughing and discovering common interests and tastes.s

As the sun continued its descent, the casting a warm and mesmerizing array of colors across the sky, slowly turning darker. You both fell into a comfortable silence, too busy admiring the view. 

"It's so beautiful," you whispered, your eyes fixed on the still breathtaking sunset.

"Yeah," he murmured in agreement, his gaze on the horizon as well. His hand found yours on the blanket, and his fingers interlocked with yours as you both watched the end of the sunset. 

As the last traces of sunlight vanished from the sky, the air grew cooler, and you shivered slightly against the breeze. Cillian, sensing your discomfort, gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close against his warm body. It was a comforting embrace, effectively shielding you from the encroaching chill. 

"It's getting chilly," he murmured softly, his warm breath tickling your ear. "Are you cold?"

You nodded, a contented smile curving your lips. "Yeah, but I'm much warmer now. Thanks."

He responded by planting a tender kiss on the top of your head, his chin settling there momentarily.

"We should probably start heading back, though," he suggested gently, he suggested softly, his voice a gentle murmur against your hair

You nodded, your fingers tightening around his shirt. "Yeah, you're right."

Reluctantly, you both began to gather your belongings, folding the picnic blanket and placing the items back in the basket. As you stood up, he kept his arm around you, providing a shield against the evening chill.

As you reached the car, he opened the trunk and carefully stored the picnic basket. As you prepared to get into the car, he turned to you with a warm, satisfied smile.

"Today was fun," he declared, his eyes lighting up.

"Well, you certainly make for great company," you replied, a smile gracing your lips as you leaned in closer, your hands resting gently on his chest as his arms held you close.

Closing the distance, he brushed his lips against yours in a lingering, sweet kiss. "So are you," he whispered against your lips.

With a last wistful glance at the tranquil beach, you both got into the car. The engine purred to life, and the journey back began. The drive was quieter this time, both of you lost in your individual thoughts.

Upon parking in front of your building, he turned to you, his gaze soft and affectionate.

"Here we are," he murmured softly, his eyes tracing the contours of your face.

A thought crossed your mind, and you couldn't help but ask, "Want to come in?" you smiled. 

He grinned, a hand reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "I would love to, but I don’t have anyone to watch Lukas today. I have to pick him up at my brother's place in a few minutes," he explained looking at his wristwatch.

You masked your disappointment with a nod. "Oh, I understand."

"But..." he continued with a hopeful glint in his eyes, "we could cook dinner at my place. This weekend, Lukas will be staying with his mom."

A genuine smile returned to your face. "That sounds like a great plan."

You unbuckled your seatbelt and leaned in to share a slow and gentle kiss, taking your time on exploring his lips. No real desire for it to end. 

"Goodnight, Cillian," you whispered, pulling away and opening the car door.

"Goodnight, y/n," he replied, his voice soft and an small smile on his lips

With a final smile, you stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. He watched you as you got in the building, only leaving when you were safe inside. 

As you got home, you showered feeling happy at how things were going. Cillian was a sweet and gentle man. If you guys keep this up, you were sure it wouldn’t take long for him to become important to you. 

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[likeafairytale]

“ Can I have this dance? ” – Nathaniel to Achilles

Achilles tried his best to not grin to that question, but he was pretty sure he failed. He looked at Nathaniel's face, who had this smile on his face, a flirty one, although the demigod wasn't sure of that, but he was hoping for it though. His eyes were now on the hand that the prince was extending to him, following his question, and Achilles was eager to take it, and had to force himself to not do so, to play it cool, wasn't sure he was successful. He shrugged, a smirk on his face, was he was looking Nathaniel right in the eyes.

“What makes you think that I know how to dance?” He asked, flirting a little, although he knew he shouldn't. He shouldn't flirt, or want to be with a man who had already someone in his life.

“I don't know.” Nathaniel responded in the same tone that Achilles. “You seemed to be the kind of man who knows how to dance.”

“Shouldn't you ask prince Xanthe f-” Achilles started before closing his eyes mid-sentence and cursing himself for his stupidity.

Of course, he couldn't ask Xanthe to dance with him. The fae prince was in a wheelchair. What an idiot he was! He thought he offended the prince by his words, that now, he won't have a chance to be close to Nathaniel, but instead of being reprimanded for his faux pas, the siren laughed. A sweet, melodious laugh that only people from the sea had. A laugh that could make believe anyone near them that Achilles said the funniest thing, and not just insulting a fae prince. A laugh that made Achilles' heart missed a beat. The physician opened his eyes and couldn't help but blush when he saw Nathaniel's hand still in the air, waiting to be taken. So he did.

The simple contact of their hands was enough to electrify his whole body. He did not know why he had so much chemistry with the sea prince, but he wasn't against it. He was just sad he couldn't act on his impulse to hold him tight, to brush his hair... to kiss him... It's been a week now that Achilles was at the Seelie Court, distracting the blue-bloods, saving life, as per usual. A week that he met prince Nathaniel. A week that he wanted to kiss him so badly. But he knew that Nathaniel was with Xanthe, and although Achilles was a fool who defied Gods themselves, he wasn't suicidal to still a cruel fea prince's boyfriend. No matter how badly he wanted to.

Since he met Nathaniel, at this same very place, and the time they spent alone in his room when Nathaniel injured himself six days ago, he was all what Achilles could think about. He felt like those butterflies in his stomach whenever the prince was near him, he had terrible jokes –although he had always been a jokester– and more importantly, he wanted him to be closer. He wanted to touch his skin, taste his lips, and if the latter was impossible, at least thanks to this dance proposal, he could be close to the siren. So without saying more, he brought Nathaniel's body closer to his, in order to start the dance at the moment the beat starting. Nathaniel was right, Achilles knew how to dance, perfectly, even. An art he practised with Anastasia a long ago, although he did not remember that, of course. And if his mind remembered nothing, his body did. His body knew every step of the dance, his body was now craving Nathaniel's touch. He shivered whenever the prince touched his neck, –Achilles could swear that he was doing that on purpose sometimes– and his body was basically on fire. Asking for more. More proximity. More touch. Just more.

While dancing, Achilles couldn't help but looking around, at prince Xanthe who was in a heating discussion with prince Aeron, it seemed, so he wasn't paying attention to Nathaniel, which relaxed the demigod. He felt a bit lighter, and bolder, bringing Nathaniel a bit closer, as close as possible. Their face were almost touching, while Achilles was blushing, not realizing that being so close was a dangerous thing for them. A game he was willing to play, but scared to lose. At this proximity, he could see every detail of Nathaniel's face, like the softness of his skin, the neon blue of his eyes, were he could see a freckle in it, the curve of his lips... his eyes were, without him realizing it, fixed on Nathaniel's lips, that he wanted to kiss right now, in front of everyone. He bit his own lips, and it was probably a cue to Nathaniel who smiled with amusement, which brought back Achilles to reality. He shook his head a little, before looking at Nathaniel's eyes.

“I really love y-”

“Let me guess; you love my eyes.” Nathaniel finished, with a flirty tone, which startled Achilles. Of course Nathaniel knew what Achilles would say, they already had this discussion in one of his previous life.

“Did we had this discussion before?”

“No, but it's a wild guess. I mean, my eyes are unusual. Like my siblings' ones. It's the effect of the deep sea and or lineage. Although, all sirens have neon blue eyes, I think. I didn't really see many sirens, but in any case, that's a merfolks things.”

“Thank you for the explanation.” Achilles said with amusement. His words could be passed as rude, as if he did not care, but it truly was only a joke, meant to relax Nathaniel which rambling made obvious that he was nervous about something.

“Sorry, I talk too much sometimes...”

“Oh, no, your grace, I quite enjoy it. What annoys me, however, is that you finished my pickup line before me. I rehearsed it for quite some time, I must confess.” Now it was Nathaniel who blushed. “I could lose myself in them.” Achilles added, a smirk on his face.

Nathaniel was speechless, came a bit closer, and it was enough for the physician's heart to stop beating for a few seconds. Achilles hold his breath, and for a moment he thought he would be weak and kiss Nathaniel. He wanted to. His eyes were back on the prince's lips, and thanks the Gods, the music stopped. Although it stopped, the two of them were still holding each other, in the middle of the dance floor, as if the world disappeared. They were only the two of them.

Without a warning, Achilles let go of one of Nathaniel's hand and brought it closer to his face. Silently, he softly touched the siren's cheek, right under his left eyes, taking of an eyelash off of him. The lash was on his finger, and he showed it to the prince.

“Make a wish, your majesty.” Achilles softly said. Nathaniel's heart beat faster, he could barely think of something. The demigod smiled a bit, seeing panic in the siren's eyes, which amused him. “Now, blow it up.” Nathaniel blew and the lash disappeared in fin air.

This interaction was nothing, and yet, everything at the same time. For a few more seconds, they stayed there, looking at each other, forgetting where they were. Until someone cleared their throat behind Nathaniel, bringing both their attention on Calypso, who had a mischievous smile on her face.

“My turn to dance with my brother. May I?”

“Of course, princess.” Achilles said with a smile, reluctantly letting go of Nathaniel. He then bowed to the prince, an amused and flirty smile on his face. “It was a pleasure, you're highness.”

“The pleasure was mutual.” Nathaniel replied, while looking at Achilles going back to the drinks table

[marwhoa]

request: Could you possibly write another rottmnt leonardo x y/n? About the aftermath of them exchanging numbers? Maybe like them hangout at night like a little cute midnight date

🝮 “ the treasure’s treasure ”

rise!leo x g/n

author’s note: i’ve been contemplating for a while whether chair-ry would get a sequel ,,, It’s hard to live up to your very first fic :))) !!! also i’m so tired rn

word count: 3.5k

Sitting upon a park bench, someone was sharing a conversation with the moon and stars, patiently anticipating the arrival of a special someone they had met earlier this week.

“ You should have seen him,”

They said, shaking their head as the wind blew in a manner that could have been taken as the luna above laughing alongside.

“ He said to me, ‘Catch you on the flip side!’ and leapt into a portal. What’s worse is I actually laughed, but he wasn’t there to see. ”

They weren’t speaking to any particular person. In fact, maybe it wasn’t the sky they gave their words to. Perhaps their conversation was with themselves, and the moon simply happened to listen in. Antsy fingers rose up, gingerly holding their new brooch. While the index finger began tracing the oleander’s rim, their other hand was holding up their phone to see a notification, “ running late! “

“ Pft—how do you run late with the ability to teleport? ”

Pocketing the phone, you were smoothing out your clothes when a hand reached out and took yours, twirling you towards him and dipping you. Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes met a familiar shade of cerulean.

“ Can’t a man lose himself to time in the practice of ‘dress to impress’? ”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you clung to the silly boy who smiled brightly at how much of an upper hand he had here.

It was summer, so you were a bit confused by the leather jacket he donned. Underneath was a plain short sleeve—blue, shocker! And a pair of denim jeans. Rather plain, no? Not like you were focusing on that though.

“ Don’t drop me! ”

In some kind of mixture between laughing and screaming, your hands held on for dear life, and Leo decided to dip you a bit further, just a tad bit lower.

“ Oh no, my grip—it’s slipping! ”

He teased, busting out laughter as you screeched “ don’t you dare!! “ The moment you both shared was lighthearted, pulling you both closer. Grip loosening, you momentarily reminisced upon the many, many messages you both shared back and forth over the days leading to today. It was your idea, actually—sticking your neck out for your hero in green. The relief that you felt when he agreed was tremendous.

He brought you back up to your feet, letting go and resting his hands against his knees while laughing up a storm. You wiped tears from your eyes and caught a bit of his contagious laughter.

“ Kee—keep this up—Pft—a-and we’ll wake the whole neighborhood, Leon! ”

There was a quip or two resting on his tongue, urging him to tickle you with all his funniest jokes, but nothing could have made him interrupt how it looked when you laughed and smiled. You truly were framed as though you were “ the world’s precious treasure”, and boy had he no idea how to show the universe how grateful he was for a chance with you.

“ Wouldn’t want that, Y/N. ”

You didn’t even seem to mind who or what he is. He could tell just by how you held his hands and said his name, the way you looked at him—just, everything. It had only been a week, and already he was head over heels. Just how magical are you?

“ So, what is this special thing you said we had to see? ”

Right, as the initiator, that makes you the leader as well. With a shy smile, you waved your hand in a “ follow me ” motion and left the black bench to follow the park’s path. It was only a few more steps until you turned off path. Despite being confused, he trusted you enough to follow blindly.

Only, he was confused when you both finally made it to your goal. The park had a lake, and sure it looked nice—but only during the day. At night it was more like an eerie void of inky black. It was only the two of you, framed by the rustling of branches, crunching of rocks under your feet, and the light sloshing of the water against the shoreline.

“ I know I’m drop-dead gorgeous, but not exactly looking to be murdered just yet, Y/N. ”

Joking, he leaned into you with a nudge. One push later and you were spreading a blanket you brought along the ground.

“ Oh hush, who would want to kill you anyways? Too easy! ”

His gasp was reward enough. Beside you he sat, as both of you shifted your attention to the water.

“ Now, we wait. ”

You responded, pulling up your legs to your chest. One of your arms laid atop it, and then you laid your head against it. Leo leaned backwards. His legs stretched out and crossed while his hands planted behind him, supporting his weight.

“ wait for what? “ he asked after the cloud of awkwardness passed and room for speak opened. You hummed, insisting he was more than capable of waiting. Taken as a challenge, he immediately accepted and the minutes turned to an hour as you both talked about any and everything.

About him, his brothers—little extras added since you had heard a lot of it already through your daily texts and video chats. Since trading numbers, you had both talked to each other so much. Perhaps a few hours of a sleep were omitted, but who cares? The hours spent together was so much fun. Calls while cooking, calls in the morning, even some calls where you both slept together. There was even one that lasted even through a teeth-brushing montage ((prior to this, you never would have expected someone to be able to make a contest out of that, but never had you ever done your brushing routine THAT quickly.)) But in return, you shared even more little tidbits about yourself, your family, etcetera.

The longer you both went, the more similarities you were able to discover about the other. To say it lit a flame of hope in your chest was an understatement.

Eventually the conversation fell into nonsense, little games of truth or dare, “ I Spy “, and even would you rather. That had served to be… quite interesting.

You and Leo had leaned down, laying in the blanket and staring up at the sky. Arms. Crossed, forearms as makeshift pillows behind y’all’s heads. After growing tired of I Spy, Leo snapped his fingers in a “ gotcha! “ moment.

“ Would you rather get a paper cut every time you turn a page or bite your tongue every time you eat? “

“ Really, would you rather? ”

“ Are you admitting defeat? ”

“ What! You can’t ‘win’ would you rat—oh forget it. ”

You groaned out loud, dragging your hands down your face to ready yourself for this. There were some rocks under the blanket, embedding into your back, so there was a long second of contemplation as you mindlessly moved them and laid back down. With a drawn-out exhale, you turned your head to look at him.

“ Well, either is so messed up, but I think bite my tongue—I do it accidentally a lot already. Might as well up my odds. What about you? ”

Leo chuckled in a way that could only spell out trouble—or a devious loophole.

“ Papercut. Why? Because,”

He holds up his phone, shaking it.

“ Internet, baby. No page turning necessary. ”

“ No fair! And, you’ll never be able to read a real book without cuts. ”

“ I’m prepared to make that sacrifice. ”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms dramatically and tapped your fingers against your forearm. What’s a good question you can ask? A real conundrum—with no loopholes!

“ Ah! Would you rather have a pause or a rewind button in your life? ”

This one throughly perplexed him. Either that, or the “ hmming “ was just him messing with you. You had your answer already, but his was what you were more curious about.

And his response only made you more curious.

“ Rewind, definitely, ”

He sits up, turning on his side and resting his head into his palm while his elbow digs into the blanket.

“ I’ve found a sound I wouldn’t mind hearing on replay. ”

“ Oh yeah? ”

You asked with sitting up, hands laid behind your back to hold you up. The statement was spoken with an intonation practically begging him to continue. Alas, he didn’t seem to catch on, so you followed it up with,

“ And what’s that? ”

“ Ah, ah, that’s not how the game goes. It’s my turn. Would you rather have everyone able to read your mind or for everyone you know to have access to your Internet history? ”

Immediately you were laughing in an incriminating way, averting your gaze anywhere but the questionner. Oh god, both were such mortifying scenarios.

“ Oh shit, that’s horrible, Leo. You’re the worst at this game! ”

“ I think you mean the best. ”

“ Eeeeek, okay, internet history. I can just clean it up! ”

“—No erasing, either! ”

Cue the hitting, as you lightly hit him with your fists!

“ No fair, no adding clauses afterwards!! ”

Leo laughed all the while, taking your light little barrages.

“ What about you, tough guy! ”

“ Internet history, but definitely deleting stuff. ”

“ YOU!! ”

With an “ oof! “ Leo was pushed over onto his back by you, further pinned down as you took your rightful throne upon his chest. It was hard, likely due to the plastron he had. While you weren’t putting all your weight into him, you were still sitting on him enough for him to be slightly inconvenienced.

“ Someone is a sore loser.”

Groaned Leo in a low voice as he accepted defeat.

“ No, you are. So, my turn! Would you rather… ”

There were a few seconds filled not with your voices, but rather with the chirping of bugs filling the space. What was a good question… Ooh, perfect!

“ Would you rather find true love today or win the lottery? Knowing you, you’ll say—“

“ Lottery—“

“ Ah-hah! I knew it. ”

“ I would rather win the lottery because I already found loved. ”

There was a…

A fondness—a sweetness and a comfort—in the air immediately. It felt akin to that of moments in movies when two character would, or /should/, kiss, and that feeling only deepened as you lowered your gaze to meet his. Leo’s voice had said that so… So gently, so lovingly.. His eyes filled you with a warmth, an addictive sight that you almost couldn’t look away from.

But still, you did. To calm your thundering heart, you looked away with a breathy laugh.

“ Wow, that sure was… Just, wow.. ”

Your eyes trailed to the water, noticing it was finally time. Leaning up off him, you brushed your clothes of any dust, and crouched to pick up some rocks near the blanket. Leo had risen up to a seated position, watching you curiously.

“ What about you? ”

He asked sincerely, eyes on you as you looked down. The collected rocks were rolled in your hand as you contemplated your own answer.. You held out your open hand, gesturing for him to give you his.

“ I think… I would choose the true love today, just to… Make sure it happens, y’know? Don’t want to get too cocky and lose a good thing. ”

As you took his hand, there was a little spark and a bit of heartbeat skipping, but pretty easy to ignore. In his palm, a sizable pebble was placed.

“ A rock? ”

“ For skipping. That’s the real surprise the whole time. What we were waiting for. ”

“ Ah yes, waiting to skip rocks, I’m really swooning over here. ”

“ Not that, you dumdum! What comes after. Just—throw it with me, okay? ”

Nodding, you both stood up, reeled your arms back, and began the countdown

Three,

Two,

One!!

And off the rocks went, skittering along the water—his faster than yours, amazingly so—but that wasn’t supposed to be the focus. The true point of it all was what happened with each tap to the water’s surface.

Lines of orange, like plane runways lined with neon hues, streaked and bloomed with every touch. By the time the rocks twirled and blipped through the lake, sinking down to their new home, the orange lights had fanned out into the air like teensy fireworks. Zipping from here and there, the little balls of energy bobbing and plinked along the water—awakening their neighbors until nearly the entire area here was covered with the little buggers.

“ Fireflies? ”

Leo inquired, amazed at the sight. It was a genuine reaction, not masked at all for any “ cool guy act ” or a “ more mature act ”. No, you were getting the exact response you hopped—the orange reflecting in his eyes, the toothy grin, and the playful glint when he turned back to you.

“ Not quite. ”

You shook your head and held out your hand, clicking your tongue as one would to a cat. By the first click, some of the closest little sprites were already skipping over to you as though copying the rocks bouncing past them earlier.

“ They’re like, little balls of warmth, little sun sprites, see? ”

They were tiny, too small for their heat to hurt. It was more of a welcoming warmth tickling your hand. Their little frames would roll and bump into each other, rubbing themselves all over your hands. That’s probably fine.

Leo stuck out a finger, reaching to poke one, then freaking out as it zipped in a spiral-motion up his finger and arm.

“ AH—! I, I mean. Act, just acting, haha.. How did you find these…? ”

“ I was waiting for you to ask! ”

You plopped back down onto the blanket and patted for him to follow. More of the sprites were surrounding you, and thankfully it seemed that their fire wasn’t a spreadable kind.

“ That word you said to me last week, yokai? I know you said, ‘Oh you’re a human, rah rah rah, no need for you to know!’—“

“—I don’t sound like that—“

“—hush, anyways! I think they’re yokai, don’t you think? I looked the word up when I got home, supernatural beings! ”

He could tell you were pretty pleased with yourself.

“ Y/N, I only said that to keep you safe. Need I remind you who needed to be rescued by a handsome blue knight? ”

He puffed out his chest, even flexing a bit. One little sprite appeared to be trying to copy him, but given their circular bodies, you weren’t too sure.

“ I already said thank you, and you can’t blame me! Who seriously just ignores something so—so, so groundbreaking! I mean, yokai? They’re fictional creatures, except now nonfiction because I saw them, I was chased by one! So, yeah, excuse me for looking into it. ”

Shrugging, you crossed your legs and leaned forward. Hands on the blanket, palms facing up, you invited the sprites to hop on or off. Soft giggles followed their little brushes against your hands.

“ Right, still doesn’t answer how you found these guys? ”

He followed your example, watching them curiously twirl his digits—thicker yet fewer than your own hands. It seemed like one of the little guys was putting pieces together as it flipped back and forth between your hands. In the end, they bobbed over to you, and Leo muttered a “ going to cry about this later ” playfully.

“ Well, I found them way before the ‘chairable incident.’ ”

“ Ooh good one, is that what we’re calling it? ”

“ Thank you, and yes—no interrupting, mister Leonardo! ”

“ Hey, that’s mister Leo to you! ”

“ Pft—well, I always through they were fireflies or pollen, but after that night you dropped me off, I was curious! So, I came here again and again, stirring them and trying to call them over. “

Y/N’s eyes were scouring over the little guys, turning to the water to see the others. It seemed they were searching for something.

“ Hmm, well anyways, it took a while, but the other day when I did it, one of them came over to me! Seeing them up close made it all make more sense. ”

Leo had noticed you looking around and followed your gaze. Alas, he gave up soon after realizing he didn’t know what to look for. Silence joined you both, sitting right between while your focus was on the cute little sprites. Some had already rolled back to the water. They seemed to float on top, similar to how oil and water “ mix ”. Few remained though, leaning into your hands, climbing your legs, or rummaging through your hair specifically. Leo had a hat, a beanie, and one sneaky little guy did manage to squirm on inside of it.

Your attention only shifted as a little purple sprite slowly bobbed over. It was hard to see them in the inky water, but this special little guy had a flickering ability. Whether the others did too was anyone’s guess, but this one! He only flickered in and out, illuminating with the fiery orange and then fizzling into the camouflaging purple. He was the first to come check you out when you tried calling for the little creatures.

“ This is Blinker! He’s a little special, isn’t he? ”

A tad bit bigger, he rolled and fluffed up in your hand—only stopping when Leo leaned in and reached his index towards him. Blinker ignited immediately, bobbing and then spiraling up Leo’s finger just like some of the others did.

“ Wow… Well, you sure know how to plan a first date. I have some real competition, huh? ”

He slouched over, resting his head against the palm of his hand while watching you with a lazy grin. Blinker had already began burrowing, slipping up into the sleeve of Leo’s jacket.

“ Oh? You sound like you’re wanting a second date already. ”

Copying his position, you grinned in a way that could only be saying “ oooooohhh, you liiiiikeee meee, don’t you? ”

“ Ah,”

A sound like a cough and he was casting his gaze to the right side, as though something away from you was much more important. His left hand moved to cover his cheek, and you recognized it all instantly. He was blushing, wasn’t he!

You leaned forward, taking his wrist and holding it away from his face. His attention was back on you, with big blue eyes staring, waiting.

“ I knew it, you’re blushing! I made you blush, mister handsome knight. ”

He stuttered then held his tongue, looking away. Didn’t even try to deny it! He was blushing, you made him blush!

There was a warmth surfacing on your cheeks, especially upon seeing his other hand move to take your other one. He didn’t make any eye contact, but your fingers were interlaced. Now one hand cuffed his wrist while the other hand locked with his hand.

“ O-Oh.. ”

You muttered, leaning back a bit to sit. After some silence, your handcuffed motion loosened, and he didn’t waste any time. His other hand was slowly lacing with yours. Sitting cross-legged, you both reflected each others sitting position while your hands rested between, holding the other fondly.

“ Mm.. I, maybe I wouldn’t mind a second date. ”

It was your turn to avoid eye contact this time.

“ Really? I’m glad. ”

His voice was softer than you had yet to hear it. So little time, yet already you were seeing newer sides of him. The sprites were floating around you both, basking both of you in warm golden hues. A summer breeze rustled the trees as they leaned in, anticipating the next move. Crickets sung their music, and the waves bumped the shore as if coming closer to see the moment. It was as if the whole world came to see, see who their treasure had chosen.

All the imaginary eyes were resting on you both. They were overjoyed to see the special one, the treasure’s treasure.

Everything dispersed as you gave a nervous cough. Both of you looked away, recoiling your hands and wiping them against your clothes.

“ W-Wow! T-The time, right? ”

“ Time? Oh, yeah! Yeah, it’s so late, I should get you home before it’s too—is it cold to you? Wow, so chilly! ”

Scrambling for your things, you both hopped up and waved goodbyes to the lake’s lights. Leo held up his hand, flicking his fingers until a blue shimmer enveloped his index finger. The stripes on his face shone as he reached out and traced a portal in thin air.

“ A gentleman would never let you walk home! ”

You leaned forward to walk through the portal, but were tugged back.

“ Ah—! No, uh, you can’t. I um, you’re. ”

He was trying to come up with something, then settled for clearing his throat and holding out his hand.

“ Safety reasons, portal passengers have to hold my hand. ”

Part of you felt like that was a lie. The other part of you knew you weren’t a portal expert. And another part of you maybe just wanted to go along with it regardless. So, you gave him your hand. He gently pulled you close to his chest.

The world held its breath as the two of you met each other’s eyes. There was so much emotion. You looked at him with something that he couldn’t yet pinpoint, but god he was addicted to it.

Please never stop looking at me like that, he thought, as his arm moved to rest along your waist and hold firmly. Through the portal, you basked in the familiar tingles and tickles, giggling as you both stepped out at your door, in your home.

“ How did you know—? ”

“ From our video-chats. Remember when I said you talk too much when it’s late? “

“ What! I thought, I thought you just meant—what else have I told you?! ”

“ Er, don’t worry about it, seeya! ”

“ Wait! ”

He was quick to try and leave the same way he had once before, falling through a portal, but you were quicker. Grabbing onto him, he stared wide eyed and quickly closed the portal as you both thumped against your floor. His hand was holding your waist securely, mentally condemning you for such a reckless move.

On the spot, you chuckled nervously and tried to come up with a reason to have stopped him…

“ Ah, er…. W-Wanna stay for, um.. Dinner? ”

[endofthe1980s]

history of astrology in ellis novels

less than zero: clay is advised by his father to check out the leo horoscope. "those planetary vibes work on your body in weird ways"

the rules of attraction: lauren talks to franklin about it, which makes her hate him even more. lol

I have come to this conclusion, not by reading his writing, which is science fiction, which is “heavily influenced by astrology,” which is terrible, but by something I don’t understand. I tell him I like his stories, I tell him my sign and we discuss the importance of the stories but …

american psycho: the infamous "Does being a Libra signify anything and if so, can you prove it?" and evelyn sees an astrologer during their vacation

emails. if you like them: "I found this store on Crosby Street that had these stainless sconces with aluminum shades with signs of the Zodiac punched through in little holes and I had to have them and they were One Hundred and Seventy Nine Dollars."

glamorama:

Jamie told me, “You’re the only sign in the horoscope that’s not a living thing.” “What do you mean?” I muttered. “You’re a Libra,” she said. “You’re just a set of scales.” “But I thought I was a Capricorn,” I sighed.

(before the shards i thought this was a diss on patrick, i mean ellis has made jokes about his previous novels before)

imperial bedrooms: kinda where shit gets real.

previously you could assume clay was a leo sun, according to less than zero, but possibly the "funniest" dialogue in the whole story reveals that clay is a leo rising and pisces sun

"You should be more compassionate," she says later, int he darkness of the bedroom. "Why?" I ask. "Why should I be more compassionate?" "You're a Pisces."

makes sense because he's the character most based off of ellis and he shares the same placements

the shards: and oh baby. the big one. finally it's clear that he knows

That was the week I became reminded how astrology affected the populace, when one of Audrey Barbour's friends said Audrey's "rising sign" indicated "danger perhaps" in the ensuing days after the disappearance [...] Other people I knew from that era heavily invested in astrology included my father [...] My father was an atheist and yet enamored by the religion of astrology and it suggests something about him that I thought I'd never seen but now realize, writing this, was always visible: a childlike lostness.

some context:

astrology is often used by the wealthy. there's this quote from JP Morgan... "Millionaires don't use Astrology, billionaires do." .....but it may be misattributed! BUT! it's not wrong

horoscopes are meant to be read using your rising sign/ascendant, so the clay thing in less than zero should have been obvious, but. sigh. you know

[ladyluscinia]

I'm blocking everyone who proves my 2am point about being massively unfun to interact with but this is the accidentally-funniest & stupidest possible way to do so and I'm screengrabbing it first:

Bruh I said this this week:

A central part of my months-long sporadic evisceration of OFMD is summed up in this quote from me:

A big part is the fact that I can and have enjoyed mediocre or charmingly bad tv. I didn't need them to stick the landing. I was expecting to watch them stumble and probably drop some of the things they were too ambitious about, and I had metaphorical band-aids at the ready to patch up scrapes and go "well I've seen better execution, but we had fun!" I can work with the show and the fandom content if the idea was good, or compelling, or maybe even just enjoyable!

I genuinely think you're probably doing fandom wrong or at least in a pretty boring way if you are not into something "bad" because of the whole "really good things don't leave the kind of spaces fandom thrives in exploring" phenomenon. This is probably actually a pretty consistent thread to my fandom commentary from the last several years even.

I love talking about ways spn is "bad"!!!

I just also have (understandably) zero respect and a good deal of annoyance for the takes of people who have not seen the show and admit they are getting all of their information about it secondhand (from people who have only seen the first third of the show even) + memes they didn't fully understand. Like maybe you don't have an educated opinion? Like maybe you just say "I didn't like a few episodes" to yourself on your own blog and then stop talking because whatever comes out of your mouth next regarding what happened in the 15 year long show you didn't watch is probably wrong or lacking context. 🤷‍♀️ You know? Maybe you shouldn't tell other people what the correct opinions are about the show they watched and you didn't because you're pretty sure you got the gist from a joke they made???

Like my guy this is the exact reason we make joke posts to laugh at people being stupid instead of spending a week on propagandizing brick walls. 🤣🤣🤣 You just say shit like this with full confidence.

Anyway in my educated opinion from watching 327 episodes of Supernatural I can say that Destiel is actually in this TV show for real because it was put there intentionally by writers. Which honestly should not be controversial or surprising because you don't get romantic love confessions of any quality put in a show if the majority of creators don't want them there 🤨 like who do you people think wrote the "I love you" from the jokes if not the guys who wrote the show?

[If you would like to disagree with me, please come back to start a fight after watching all the episodes and I'll block you for being an annoying educated opinion instead of an uneducated one 😇]

[hontou-baka]

relationship ranting idk

blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf

I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.

Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/

Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.

While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!

I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.

ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP MEMES FROM REDDIT 5/24/2023

“What is it with insufferable people and gaping their mouths open like fucking whales when they speak?” “I hate accountability too.” “Why cheat when you can leave the relationship?” “I guess we should decide who we’re eating first.” “Target in sight-- take aim and be ready to fire at my cue” "This body is weak, I must find a new host.” “So who wants an orgy if the elevator gets stuck?” “That might be kinda hot if everyone’s in the mood.” "Calm down, calm down, I said scabies not rabies" “Do you still have lice?” “Does anyone have a handkerchief, scarf or some garment I can borrow? I promise to return it.” “100% mortality rate my ass!” “Given your history, do you think you should be in here?” “Say nothing. Just laugh hysterically like someone’s just told you the funniest joke you’ve ever heard.” “Just taking this baby for its test ride. We've fixed it 3 times this week.” “You can add green onions to almost everything. “You have become the very thing you swore to destroy.” “Once every few months?!?” “What exactly does she want to know about her vagina?” “The standard has been pretty fucking low for a very long time but it's clear today that the mask of integrity has totally fallen from the face of greed.” “I can only imagine how funny that must have been from your neighbors perspective.” “Did you light your house on fire to kill the bedbugs?!?” “Just let me be happy before I die.” “Two chicks at the same time, man.” “You got a million bucks?” “You ever meet some of those people who are just happy people? Like genuinely happy, and kind.” “I want to do shrooms and experience ego death, cause god damn it sounds so horrendous and scary, but so beautiful and enlightening.” “I want to hit a crocodile in the face with a frying pan.” “I desperately want to be genuinely happy with what I have but I feel a fire burning deep inside me telling me that I havent hit the top of the mountain yet.” “I just wanna be the hottest goth at the gas station.” “Hunt a boar and eat it in a fire camp.” “My goal is to Eiffel Tower someone.” “Giraffes. No, I won’t explain myself.” “Not kinkshaming but kinkquestioning. Kinkpondering.” “I'm sorry for ruining 4.5k people's day.” “I’m so glad I don’t know what a lot of these are.” “Those disgusting, dirty little perverts.” “So long as everyone involved consents then I don't care, honestly.” “Rule 4, no chili powder in the bedroom.” “Sure enough, it was a small plastic baby doll he has shoved up his ass and then gave birth to.” “How do I delete my vision history?” “Yeah don't actually shove stuff up your ass unless you have a way to remove it Like a rope or a flared base Or some really strong ass muscles.” “Is it possible to kink shame someone who's into humiliation?” “I can not be responsible for anything I do.” “Lady that was dressed in full nurse regalia just took a squat and pissed in her nurse pants in the middle of a CVS parking lot.” “How do you feel about wigs?” “Are you sure there is tea in there?” “I wish Tinkerbell would poop rainbows on my face.” “Equal cake for everyone?” “Made it look so easy. That was badass.” “This takes me back to my childhood.” “Now I want my face painted!” “His jiggling is almost hypnotic. It's like a lava lamp.” “This is not the belly-dancer I ordered.” “So his red flags are all women!??!” “I love that our oceans are still a mystery to us.” “The earth is fucking weird.” “I'd hate to have a little tailbutt like that. I'd probably get it caught on everything.” “Wow that looks like a creature from a S. Dali painting!” “Why bother looking into outer space for aliens when we can just look at the bottom of our own oceans?” “You’re trying to tell me THAT isn’t from outer space?!?” “No idea what it is but it looks beautiful” “Once you decide to believe something, not only without evidence but in spite of it, all bets are off.” “It’s awful when a blowup doll gets a mind of its own. “The best pranks are the ones intended to confuse, not abuse.”

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 12/07/2023

THE NEW TEAM 10 FORT​!​!​! [Francis Flow: Original Mix]

Season 3 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume L [Side B]

Ripped by KnightOfGames

Man. As someone who's followed both SiIva and general meme culture pretty actively during the mid-2010s, there are few things as funny as seeing It's Everyday Bro gradually become accepted by the SiIva team and fanbase. What started out as an obnoxious flex-song uploaded at the height of the Paul brothers' relevancy, became an anthem for ironic shitposting due to just how recognizable its main beat had become.

To me the funniest part of it all is that its all pretty recent history thats intertwined with SiIva itself, sort of like the channel's relationship to stuff like Friday Night Funkin'. The original It's Everyday Bro was released in the midst of 2017, and slooowly crept into some occasional SiIva rips during the tail end of Season 2. On the song's 1-year anniversary in Season 3, however, it made its presence all too known. The hysterically named It's "It's Everyday Bro" Day Bro takeover was just that: A whole day dedicated to nothing but rips of everyone's least favorite influencer and the theme that had haunted trending pages for weeks on end the year prior. Keep in mind, this was also a few months after Logan Paul caused a giant storm of controversy with his Japan Vlog, so public opinion had effectively plummeted on the two as a whole: Nobody wanted more to do with them.

The Paul brothers would eventually become mainstays on the channel in a pretty funny way - a lot of Jake Paul rips made after this Season 3 event, for instance, are now labelled as (JP Mix) in reference to his initials, and the two keep showing up in weirdly irregular spurts compared to other SiIva memes. Its extremely entertaining to keep up with, especially now that they're officially part of the CCC lore as of Season 5, and because It's Everyday Bro itself is genuinely an incredible audio source.

Through the zany nature of the original Fort Francis track and the instantly recognizable It's Everyday Bro beat, THE NEW TEAM 10 FORT​!​!​! [Francis Flow: Original Mix] is able to work wonders despite not even incorporating any of Jake Paul's vocals, as many other rips during the takeover did. I think that's part of why I was drawn to this rip in particular, as to an unknowing listener it basically just sounds like a weird Trap-adjacent rearrangement of the original theme, that's still able to go hard in its own way. Its understated in a way that somehow makes the joke even funnier, which to me speaks to just how good of a ripper KnightOfGames really is. Even with the simplest concepts, he's always able to deliver exactly what you ordered in the highest quality possible.