#portal pastiche

[justawanderingbabbit]

AerIS' (Abstract Experimental Record Information System) latest test subject was the worst. The absolute worst.

If her creators were still alive she'd have had a long talk with them about how to choose their experiments. Independent thinking was all well and good but this one took it to extremes.

He'd started small. Little rebellions here and there. Knocking her cameras off the walls with his gate gun. Forcing her to revive him over and again because he insisted on testing every last fatal possibility. Sitting dead still in the middle of the room after a test, eyes closed, listening intently.

The rebellions got larger. Once he understood that each solved test just led to another. Once he realized that the one thing AerIS would not do was let him go, even through death, he never hesitated. No matter how painful failure was, no matter what she threw at him, he kept getting back up and trying again.

He did give up on her cameras when he realized she could repair them pretty much immediately. Though that meant he was even more annoying, with the side-eyes he'd give her and the little smirks when he thought he'd scored.

He hadn't. He absolutely had not scored. The fact that he'd managed to destroy thousands of her gunners was not infuriating. She had more. She had millions, or could. It was just a matter of time. Once he reached the final test chamber he'd have outlived his usefulness and could be disposed of.

She watched him draw closer. She gloated as he sat himself down in the penultimate chamber and... did whatever it was he did. She waited for him to - inevitably - finish this test and enter the final gate.

Instead he went to the edge of the abyss he was supposed to cross. Leaned over, so far he was sure to fall. Except somehow he managed to cling on and fire his gate gun into nowhere, somewhere down below AerIS' controls, far below her reach.

Then, walking to the other half of the gate, he paused. Looked at her camera. Gave her the finger. Then disappeared through the gate and out of her reach.

It wasn't until months later, when her systems suddenly failed, when everything that made it possible for her to continue locked up and died, did AerIS realize where he'd gone and why.

She was the most powerful computer of her time, with vast resources and abilities. But no computer could operate with power. And Liu Sang - without fear or hesitation - had found his way all the way to the oldest part of her complex.

And literally pulled her plug.

This Portal Pastiche brought to you courtesy of how much Liu Sang's orange jumpsuit resembles Chell's.

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Honors From the King: A Short Story

The sword felt strange in Mia's hand. It fit perfectly in her grasp, but it still seemed impossible that it was hers. A few days ago it had made her into a hero, but in the confusion of the battle, she barely remembered making the lucky blow that felled the giant who had terrorized the Southern Forest for ten years.

Now she, an ordinary eleven-year-old from Iowa, was the hero of a fantastical realm, waiting to receive honors from the king himself.

Elbera bustled around Mia in the antechamber-turned-dressing room of the village hall. The elf woman—barely taller than Mia—had served almost as a mother to her since the strange wind had left her in the elfin village. "Now, my dear, as you're being honored for valor in battle, it's right for you to carry the sword, but you must never put the point toward the king. If you're nervous about it, you'd best sheathe it."

Mia sheathed the sword before Elbera finished the sentence.

Elbera continued, "Since you've slain a well-known terror, it's customary for the king to offer a boon. If he offers up to half his kingdom, don't take it—it's only a polite phrase. Best to ask for something useful—perhaps a sum of gold to rebuild the bridge outside the village."

From what Mia had heard of the king, he'd do that anyway. No, if Mia was to get a boon, she would ask for only one thing.

She wanted to go home.

For nine long months, she'd been stuck in Athelor. The cheerful, dainty elves had been kind to her—sheltering, feeding and teaching her without complaint—but they weren't her family. Her parents had to be frantic about her. And her six siblings—what had they done when that strange summer wind took her away from them? An entire school year would be gone by now. If she stayed away much longer, she'd be so far behind, and it would be harder and harder to fit back into ordinary life.

The elves had been unable to provide any suggestions about how to get back home; they only told Mia to wait for the wind. But the elves had sung praises of King Edonniel's library, spoke with awe of his scholarly works about Athelor's history. If anyone knew how to get her home, the king would.

The door to the chamber opened, and a palace guard escorted Mia into sunlit wooden expanse of the main hall.

At the room's far end, the king stood among his guard. Though over fifty, he was tall and fit, with a reddish-gold beard and a noble bearing, resplendent in royal armor. He was like the good king in every fairy tale Mia had ever read, like her father, and she forgot to be afraid of him. The king was a great man—warrior, poet, scholar, diplomat—but Mia knew in an instant that he was kind enough to help a lost girl.

The assembled crowd—all the elves and talking beasts from the village—cheered as Mia approached the king. Mia tried to ignore them, instead focusing on the king’s kind face.

The king stared at her. He stood frozen for several moments, then stepped toward her. “Mia?”

Mia stumbled to a stop. "Yes?" This seemed an informal greeting from a great king.

In a blink, Mia found herself in the king's arms, crushed in a warm embrace.

"I can't believe it." The king's deep voice sounded right next to her ear. "I thought I'd never see any of you again, not here."

Mia tried to push him away. King or not, this was too weird to put up with. "Any of who? What are you doing?"

The king pulled away and looked into her face, drinking her in. "I'm sorry. Of course you don't know me. Mia, I’m Danny. Your brother."

*

In the privacy of Elbera’s good parlor, Mia sat alone with the king. Her brother. Her ten-year-old brother. Who she never in a million years would have connected with the great scholar, warrior, and king the elves, in their musical accents, called Edonniel.

She couldn’t doubt that he was Danny. He remembered their parents, their farm, all their family, even the dinosaur village she and he had created two summers ago. With only a year and a day between their ages, they had often been mistaken for twins, but Mia had always reveled in her superior age. Until now.

Danny seemed so dignified; he made Elbera’s soft chair look like a throne. His eyes had wrinkles around them. His red-gold beard hung down to his chest. He sat so steady, so still, gazing at her like she was his long-lost child—instead of the sister whose hair he pulled when she beat him at Mario Kart.

As Mia sat across from him on Elbera's other chair, the only thing she could think to say was, “You’re older than me.”

The king guffawed. “I’m older than Dad. But you—you don’t look a day older than when I last saw you. How long have you been here?”

“Nine months.”

“It’s been forty-eight years for me.”

Mia’s head spun at the idea. “How?”

“The wind that carried us into a different world carried us into different times. I landed on the shores of the Beryl Sea forty-eight years ago. Ever since I became king, I’ve made a study of Athelorian history, trying to find the rest of us.”

“Us?” Mia had been with her siblings when the wind had taken her, but she’d assumed they were back home in Iowa. “How many of us are in Athelor?”

“All of us,” Danny said with surprise. “Didn’t you know?”

Mia shook her head. “I couldn’t see much.”

“And when you landed here alone, you had no reason to guess that we weren’t all safely at home,” he said, understanding.

“Is anyone else here?” Mia asked, half-hoping another brother or sister would pop out from behind the furniture.

“I crossed paths with Thomas not long after I arrived, but you’re the only one I’ve met in person since. Everyone else, I’ve had to track down in history and legend.”

“You met Thomas?”

“He landed among the trolls of the northern mountains,” Danny explained. “Became a master smith—the greatest in Athelorian history. He forged that sword you carry. I have no idea how it got into the elves’ hands; I’ll bet there’s a story there.”

Danny never could stick to the point of a story. “Where is he?” Mia asked in frustration.

“He was a very old man when I met him,” Danny said. “A hundred and twenty-seven, by some counts. Some say his life was extended by working with the stones from the heart of the world.”

Was? Her little brother had been only six years old when she’d last seen him. He couldn’t be—

Mia sank back into her chair, stricken.

Danny, caught up in his story, didn’t seem to notice. “Jane lived among the centaurs and elves of the Skyveil Plains seven-hundred years ago. Became a legendary warrior and explorer, defender of the weak. Beloved by all the beasts. First to step foot on the Daybreak Isles and meet the talking mice.”

Seven-hundred years?

“Now Ben,” Danny said with a laugh, “has popped up all through history. Rarely seen for more than a day or two, but he always has some dramatic effect. Some scholars speculate he’s extraordinarily long-lived, but my theory is that time is playing with him in a different way than the rest of us.”

He said it all so calmly!

“Nora?” Mia dared to ask about their oldest sister.

Danny’s gaze turned dreamy, his voice hushed and reverent. “The legendary Queen Eleanor, present at the waking of the world.”

Danny was talking about Nora—bossy Nora!—like he was in awe of her.

Her sister—all her siblings—had become legends. They weren’t waiting for her at home. They were long dead, had been dead ever since she’d arrived, which meant they were gone forever, and there was no way home—

Mia burst into tears.

Danny reacted about like how she’d have expected him to react. He sprang up from his seat and hovered awkwardly over her chair. “Mia? What’s wrong?”

Through tears, despair, and frustration, Mia blubbered something that included the words, “They’re all dead!”

“Dead?” Danny asked. “Who said they were dead?”

Mia wiped her tears on her sleeve and glared up at him. “You did! You said Thomas was ancient, and Jane lived seven-hundred years ago, and Nora’s as old as the entire world!”

“That doesn’t mean they’re dead.”

“I’m not stupid! No one can live that long, not even here!”

Danny crouched down next to her chair. He placed both hands on her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. “Mia, look at me. I’m telling you: they’re not dead.”

Before his fatherly gaze—even with the beard, he looked a lot like Dad—Mia’s sobs became mere sniffles. “Then where are they?”

“They’re home. Safe. I promise. The same wind that brought us here brought them back home after their adventures were over.”

Just like the elves had said. But when Mia had thought she’d have to wait to go home, she’d thought it would be a few years at most, not—

“You said Thomas was more than a hundred years old.”

Danny said, “I’ve done a lot of reading about people like us. We’re not the only people who’ve come here from Earth—or gone home. The stories all say the same thing. No matter how long we spend here, the wind takes us back home to a time only minutes after we left, and we’ll be just the same age we were then. Reunited from across history, as young we ever were. A foretaste of heaven.”

His voice had gone dreamy again. The elves had said he was a poet.

Mia dried her face and sat up straight. “We’ll all be together? At our normal ages? Like we never left?”

“Exactly.”

“You and me and Thomas and Ben and Nora and—“ Mia realized something. “You never said where Claire was.”

“She’s the only one I haven’t found in history yet. That means her story’s probably still in the future. Maybe we’ll run into her someday.”

That did sound exciting, but Mia didn’t like the idea of waiting decades like Daniel had.

“How long do you think it will be? Before we go home?”

Danny stood and walked toward his chair. “I can’t say. Whenever the wind blow lately, I get the strangest feeling that I won’t be here long—maybe five years.”

Five years—half her life—not long?

“For you,” Danny continued as he sat down, “I can’t say. But I have a feeling that your adventures are just beginning.”

“I don’t want more adventures,” Mia said, as another tear dripped. “I want to go home.”

“I know,” Danny said, his voice husky with sympathy. “The first year is the hardest, and you’re so young.”

The idea of Danny—Danny!—treating her like a little kid! “I’m older than you!” Looking into his very-much-not-a-kid face, she amended, “Well, I should be.”

“You will be again, one day. But until then...“ Danny leaned forward, his hands on his knees, and suddenly sounded more like an American kid than he had all day. “This sounds so weird, but if you like, I can adopt you. You can live in the palace under my protection, and I can show you everything about Athelor. Maybe name you my heir if you like the whole royalty thing.”

He was planning a whole life for her. Plotting out a future. Here. Even without the weirdness of Danny acting like her dad, it was too much.

Danny noticed her hesitation. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I know we’re all called here for different purposes, and I don’t want to keep you from your intended mission.”

“I thought the giant was my mission.” Mia had constructed such a tidy tale—and now it was unraveling. “I came here, I slayed the giant. The story should be over. I should get to go home.”

“It will always be waiting for you. Until then, you have Athelor.”

“Athelor isn’t home!”

“It can be,” Danny said. “It’s been a good home to me. It can be a better one, now that you’re here.”

Mia suddenly realized how old her little brother was. How long he’d been waiting, searching for his family through books. And now she was here, after all this time.

Maybe that was her mission. To help this great king while he was here caring for the people of Athelor.

“I guess I can try,” Mia said. Even if she had to stay a long time—well, Danny had managed to do some amazing things, and she couldn’t let her little brother outshine her. “When we do get back home, I don’t want you to have a better story than me.”

Danny grinned—and for just a second, he looked a little like the kid she remembered. “Mia,” he said, “I think you’re going to be fit for legend.”

[open-sketchbook]

I wrote (another!) novel!

It took me almost three years of editing and refinement, but my second novel, Lieutenant Fusilier in the Farthest Reaches, is finally out in digital form! A print version will be out SoonTM.

It's... really hard to pitch this book, but I'll do my best. In a post-scarcity, strangely utopian alternate future stuck in 19th century aesthetics, all of humanity has been elevated to positions of wealth and nobility by a cheerfully industrious robotic working class. With nations united in a Galactic Concert, they spread through the stars; while so far empty of sapient peers, there lurks dangerous creatures and the automated remnants of long-lost empires.

Most machines are very happy where they are, working to make humans richer and more comfortable, but Theodora Fusilier (one of many thousands to share that name) has ambitions. She's saved for decades to afford an officer's commission in the British Army, a position normally reserved for humans, and today's the day. What's the worst that can happen?

It's a gonzo blend of weird sci-fi imagery, a pastiche of the Richard Sharpe novels, a character study of a workaholic, and a deconstruction of the imperialist themes in portal fiction. Like much of my work, it's an attempt to point my interest in military history toward something constructive, and it was great fun to write and hopefully a lot of fun to read.

You can get it on DriveThruFiction or Itch.io. If you get the digital version, you'll get a discount to the print version when it comes out so you don't get double-dipped.

The deliberately misleading cover was created by the amazing Molly Skyfire (NSFW link).

[fanlore-wiki]

Featured Article: The Eye of Argon

This week’s Featured Article is about The Eye of Argon, a novella written in 1970 by Jim Theis. The story was considered a rather obvious pastiche of Robert E Howard’s Conan The Barbarian, most evidently with the protagonist’s name being Grignr the barbarian.

Regarded as the worst fantasy story ever written, The Eye of Argon was a subject of mockery in literary circles. The story has since then been commonly used for turkey readings and party games at conventions. One can also find many dramatic readings of the story on Youtube.

In recent years, the story has been viewed in a more sympathetic light, given how the author was a teenager when he wrote it and quit writing due to the incessant mockery he received.

Learn more about this infamous piece of fiction on Fanlore!

-----

We value every contribution to our shared fandom history. If you’re new to editing Fanlore or wikis in general, visit our New Visitor Portal to get started or ask us questions here!

[highladyluck]

One of the most surreal aspects of Wheel of Time is for as much as it's one of the major trope codifying fantasy series, there is actually a hell of a lot of flat out sci-fi background/implications rolling around in in it too.

YES I love it so much! It makes it feel expansive and really rounds out the ‘legend fades to myth’ themes.

The Age of Legends is a Crystal Spires and Togas magitech utopia (that’s actually a bit of a dystopia if you start looking at the underlying premises). They could create pocket universes (vacuoles). The One Power has a lot of physics DNA, including the linking rules being based on electron valences & other atomic properties of elements. Portal Stones and the Ways are wormhole networks/alternate universes. Sindhol has non-Euclidean geometry. The Ogier are from another dimension. Tel’aran’rhiod is yet another alternate universe. Ancient tech from a lost civilization is abandoned, discovered, misused, reused, etc. Bayle Domon can rattle off a laundry list of classic sci-fi weirdness including the glowing field that kills anyone who gets too close. The Forsaken more or less time travel to a post-apocalyptic future. RJ used the same sources Frank Herbert did so the Aiel feel like a Dune pastiche. Aginor is a mad scientist.

I’m a sci-fi reader more than a fantasy reader- WoT is my exception that proves the rule- but I think one of the reasons I find it so compelling is the very dense layer of SF behind so much of the worldbuilding.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #16 – The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera

I grabbed this on a recommendation I now forget the specifics of, but which I am incredibly glad I listened to. Not a perfect book, but a beautiful one. It really does immerse you in a capital-w Weird setting in a way I haven’t gotten to enjoy in a while, and might the best in years at really weaving it in with a sense of the mundane and the bathetic. Pacing and character development and plot are a little all over the place, but still a great read.

The story follows Fetter, the only child of the Perfect and Kind, anointed messiah of the Path Above. His mother tears his shadow off of him at birth, and forever after he must choose to remain tethered to the earth and not float away into infinity. He is raised from birth as a tool to take vengeance on his father by committing each of his five unforgivable sins – culminating, of course, in holy patricide. His childhood is spent in indoctrination and murders – and oh, he’s also the only one he knows who can see the monstrous devils who share the world with humanity.

So anyway, all that gives him a lot to talk about in therapy.

The actual book follows Fetters’ life as an aimless young adult in the city of Luriat, with its layers of impenetrable government and byzantine system of castes and races inherited from successive colonizers, its regular pogroms and plagues, and its tendency for any doors left closed and unwatched for too long to instantaneously become permanently shut portals to Somewhere. Over the course of the book, he is dragged into a revolutionary conspiracy, learns his father is coming to the city, learns deep metaphysical secrets, is a pretty terrible boyfriend, becomes a suicide bomber, and learns to fly.

To start with the negative, the pacing of the plot is...okay, maybe not bad, but it’s really not trying for the things I’d expect it to. A whole act of the narrative is spent meandering through an absurd purgatory of refugee/prison/quarantine camps Fetter has been consigned to. Lovely writing, thematically important, does eat up a lot of page count which then leads to rest of the book being things happening very quickly one after the other with very little in the way of buildup or reflection. Time is enjoyably spent just detailing the experience of Fetter’s day to day life, but much of the supporting cast feel more like plot (or thematic) devices than characters. The book ends with the protagonist loudly reciting the big lesson he’s learned from the events of the book. So yeah, less than perfect book. Still, I found all the sins very easy to forgive.

As mentioned, this was the first fantasy book I’ve read in a while that felt properly fantastical, like it was created from first principles rather than being the latest in a hoary old lineage stretching back generations. Which might be complete bullshit, I don’t know – not like I’ve read a great deal of other South Asian fantasy to compare it to – but it worked for me. A big part of which is how very modern it is. This is a secondary world with prophets and plague-bearing anti-gods, forgotten timelines whose ghosts leak into the world, and a whole plethora of almost- and not-quite- messiahs. And also one with cellphones and UN-administered refugee camps, labyrinthine bureaucratic politics and scandals over inappropriate allocation of imported medical devices. It all feels like a reflection of the present and its own concerns rather than the thousandth-generation pastiche much of the genre does, I suppose – which is something I really did appreciate.

The world of the book – or, at least, the little slice of it the story is concerned with. There’s clearly grander and stranger things happening off in the distance – is one intensely concerned with caste and class, race and religion and breeding. Luriat is weighed down with the architecture and high culture of successive waves of colonialism, and its elites organize and govern the population according to a syncretic mix of all of their ideological castoffs. Politics – and in particular the use of plague and quarantine on one hand and sectarian pogroms on the other to control the populace – is pretty key to the whole book. It’s also just about entirely beyond Fetter. Not that he’s dumb, just that he’s apolitical, in the sense of treating government like an inexorable and inevitable fact of life to be worked with/around or avoided, not something you can understand or change. Which makes for fun reading as there’s clearly a whole Les Mis thing happening like 0.5 degrees to the left of the book’s plot.

Anyway, I’m still sad Pipra didn’t get more screentime, and the whole ending feels almost comically rushed, but absolutely a worthwhile read.

[theperfectquestion]

ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT'S ME, DEAN

The Venture Bros. approach to God Almighty is in line with its approach to all authority: one more rubber mask on one more old weirdo.

A revelation hit me during a recent rewatch of adult swim's long-running animated pastiche of adventure fiction, The Venture Bros. It is such a large scale Biblical relevation that I can't believe I didn't notice it before: Yahweh, the Lord of the Old Testament, is a recurring minor character, voiced by Archer and Bob Burger's H. Jon Benjamin.

For the uninitiated, one of the supporting players in The Venture Bros. is Doctor Orpheus, who rents rooms from Doc 'Rusty' Venture, the father of the titular twins. Doctor Orpheus is one of my favourite characters in the show, because he is a protagonist of a whole other pulp fiction genre who is comfortable being a secondary character in the world of The Venture Bros.

Orpheus is a mix of Doctor Strange any number of Christopher Lee's characters from Hammer Horror films. He looks like Vincent Price in those occasions when he is being chummy with Kermit the Frog. And this Sorceror Supreme, who guards the very fabric of reality from unfathomable peril, who commands his own super-team with its own villains and long-term plots, serves the sitcom role of kindly but wacky neighbour, and the father of young Dean Venture's hopeless love interest, Triana.

A brilliant recurring joke is that, although magic is definitely real in the universe of The Venture Bros., and that Doctor Orpheus unquestionably has talents that bring the entire nature of reality into question, Doc Venture refuses to acknowledge or respect magic. As a former boy adventurer, he has seen so many supernatural threats pulled out from under their rubber masks that, as an adult, he simply doesn't waste a microsecond of his time considering magic as anything other than a cheap trick. Doctor Orpheus is often torn between defefending his professional pride and placating his often unkind landlord.

There's a lot to Doctor Orpheus, but the aspect I'd like to focus on is the fact that he regularly visits an extradimensional entity in his daughter's closet. Orpheus' command of spatial dimensions is dealt with matter-of-factly: his rooms are physically located elsewhere, and the abandoned arachnid research centre he rents on the Venture property is just a convenient place to warp space so that he can access them from Colorado. You see, Doctor Orpheus is recently divorced, and retains full custody of his teenage daughter, Triana. One has to read between the lines here, but presumably the Venture Compound is close to where Triana's mother has moved, and this extradimensional trick is a way for Triana to be able to visit her mother while being legally resident at his address. The fact that this is treated so casually is a joke in itself, and is another Definitely Magical thing that Rusty completely ignores, though there may be some connection between Doctor Orpheus' rooms and the reason why Rusty, who is a notoriously workshy and light-fingered kind of super-scientist, is able to produce the world's first functional teleporter later on in the series.

So with all this malarky being commonplace, it is only a small elaboration to say that, within Doctor Orpheus' house, there is a portal to another dimension. But due to some magical snarl he can't straighten out, the portal is located inside his daughter's wardrobe. Orpheus goes inside the closet to talk to the Master.

The Master, all all-knowing, shape-shifting entity who lives beyond time and space and who mentors Doctor Orpheus in the magical arts (though, in practice, we see him act more of a life coach), is presented without ceremony or occasion. Even his flat voice which, as mentioned, is from the proudly rangeless but reliably hilarious mouth of H. Jon Benjamin, undercuts the enormity of his presence. The Master seems to spend most of his mental energy coming up with live-action productions of custom Aesop's Fables for Orpheus using his shape-shifting abilities and, occasionally, a put-upon assistant. These morality plays seem to always, by accident or design, lead to the Master getting his rocks off in some way or another. The Master's horniness seem to cast him in the mold of a Tibetan vajrācārya - after all, if Orpheus is Doctor Strange, then the Master is his Ancient One, who is vaguely Tibetan in origin. The joke is that rather than being enigmatic, the Master blurts out the morals and meanings of his koans almost immediately. But then in the Season 4 episode, 'The Better Man,' the Master shows that he may have origins further West.

So in that episode Triana, Doctor Orpheus' daughter, enters her closet and unexpectedly encounters the Master. We have established before that only Orpheus can enter the Master's realm. The Master of course was expecting her and has assumed a form to deliver a parable. In the form of an adult Dean Venture, the Master reveals that Dean is an artificially produced clone, insists that his genes are therefore polluted, and expresses profound disgust at the fact that Dean is uncircumcised. He outright tells Triana to leave the Venture Compound to live with her mother and claim her birthright as her mother's pupil.

To me, all this feels very unlike something a Tibetan Tantric Master would say. All this talk of bloodlines, foreskins and abominations makes me suspect that the Master is actually Yahweh, the God of the Old Testament, in one of his burning bush moods. Now, in any other show, the existence of God Almighty living in a character's wardrobe might be more of a big deal. You could certainly build an entire series around that exact premise. But it is perfectly consistent for The Venture Bros. to present the ultimate authority of the Universe as a funny side character who appears in four episodes and has only a small bearing on the plot. That's all in a day's work for The Venture Bros., a show that shares Rusty's deep-rooted skepticism of any and all authority figures and the structures that support them.

For example, we meet the President of the United States on one occasion and he is a crass, childish buffoon who spouts out reheated Clinton jokes. That's fairly run-of-the-mill, but the secret agent characters of The Venture Bros. often invoke the Secret President. We never meet Secret President, and the character who is most likely to have encountered them in person, General Timothy Treister, talks about Secret President in the tone of voice a 13 year old would use to brag about their girlfriend in Canada. As it is, we're given no reason why there should be a Secret President or what function they serve, except to give spies something to brag about. In the United States of The Venture Bros., the fake President is an idiot and the real President doesn't do anything.

The pattern repeats: the diabolical Guild of Calamitous Intent, which dominates the world of professional villany, is governed by a board of shadowy figures who, once we get to know them, are all either has-beens or senile and I've of them is literally a clown. Their leader, The Sovereign, appears either as an intimidating floating head like The Wizard of Oz or as David Bowie, though we learn later he is just a shapeshifter who takes the form of David Bowie because he wants to be cool. The Guild goes through a few changes of management throughout the series, but it doesn't really matter who is at the top - the whole operation is run by two admin goofuses who are perfectly content to prop up a desk and pee in bottles.

Even when we meet the Illuminati, the chosen powerful few who work behind the scenes to keep the torch of civilisation alive by managing technological progress, they turn out to be a VR simulation designed to allow intelligence agencies to hoard the best gizmos for themselves.

When Doctor Orpheus detects the presence of a malicious evil so great that he nearly suffers a panic attack - Doctor Orpheus, who routinely travels to Hell and back without too much trouble - an unholy entity that turns out to be a vintage AI built by Rusty's father, this unspeakable Satan is easily distracted by a roll of old videotape projected onto her camera.

This is a world where it is rubber masks all the way down. Anybody who presents themselves as an authority is invariably mistaken. Doomsday devices are easily defused, or revealed to have never been anything of the sort. Secret are kept by braggarts, heroes are hollow, crowns are held by those who couldn't find a chair when the music stopped, and power is a ball that is always fumbled. So why wouldn't God Almighty live in a teenager's closet, licking his balls, obsessing over foreskins, while the world muddled along without Him?

[skaruresonic]

I'm reminded of the split opinion on whether Sonic Gens and Mania are suitable "first games" for people who want to approach the series.

I personally don't think so, because the appeal of those games is precisely revisiting old levels in a new format, with a new design: you're not going to get the subtle jokes as a newcomer (and Mania can get very obscure with it). But some do think they're nice pastiches for newcomers to at least get an idea of Sonic's history as a franchise, and it helps that they're both solid games.

I assumed Shadow Gens would be the same, but you make a good point, because this game has an actual story. For veterans, it's more of the same thing, if you know Shadow's story this adds very little new, and it's mostly a repeat of what he already went through in ShTH. But newcomers who want to learn more about the cool black hedgehog from the new movie would still be confused: why did Shadow become a hero? Who is Black Doom, why is he obsessed with Shadow, why does Shadow hate him? Let's not even talk about things like Mephiles' boss fight lol. (although personally I find Gerald's mention of the time portals of '06 rather cute)

So I guess this game is for veterans who just want to soak in the Shadow vibes once more, but this time with Good Writing™

If you based your knowledge only on the information provided by SxS Gens - so no supplementary material, no Dark Beginnings, no manga, no movie, no paratext - you would learn the vaguest and broadest strokes of maybe two games, SA2 and ShTH, at most. But nothing specific.

Everything else would just come off as garbled nonsense. Hell, it appeared that way to me and I've been a Sonic fan for (checks notes) 22 years. God I'm old.

I approached this game not with my purist hardhat on (though that wasn't always the case given some lines here and there lmao) but from the perspective of a newcomer who knew nothing about Shadow's past. If everyone was going to argue that this game's existence is necessary on that basis, I thought, how well would it perform as an introductory piece?

From that perspective, I don't think the game does a very good job in giving us a crash course on Shadow's history. Gerald and Maria do nothing - I hate to say it but they're ultimately window-dressing. They don't accomplish anything that, for instance, a posthumous diary or recording could have just as easily provided.

(Tbf, the NPCs in Gens also pretty much did nothing but cheer Sonic on, but it's not like, given this sheer gravitas as seeing your dead loved ones return to life via the power of timey-wimey shenanigans.)

I was actually surprised at how little plot progression there is, given my previous expectations of there being, you know, a coherent story. The plot doesn't really kick in until you've completed 4 out of the 6 available levels, and by then you've pretty much halfway done lol.

Shit happens in weird, patchwork, nonsensical ways. We get boss fights for characters that don't matter but not a boss fight against Sonic, AKA the guy we play as in Gens proper and in a context that echoes a game dynamic where we get to fight each character as the opponent. Shadow is the ultimate life form who gets his ass handily kicked by Sonic. Maria has a delayed response at the news of Shadow's heritage; she's not instantly shocked the first time, but when Gerald says it for a second time she suddenly becomes distressed. Omega claims they showed Metal "mercy" at the end of Heroes, despite questioning whether he should destroy Metal or Sonic to prove his strength. We have to fight Mephiles even though he doesn't matter because reasons.

Characters appear who aren't relevant to the plot, but are given the screen treatment as though the game expects the player to know who they are and why they might (or might not) be relevant.

---

Who is Black Doom, why is he obsessed with Shadow, why does Shadow hate him?

>>gets Silent Hill 3 flashbacks as Black Doom waxes poetic about "possessing" Shadow

---

Let's not even talk about things like Mephiles' boss fight lol.

No. Let's. :P

Mephiles' boss is one great big time-wasting in-joke that amounts to an MCU-esque "Well, that just happened." I can easily see newcomers mistaking him for one of Black Doom's minions or something, especially given that his boss arena is found in a cave under Chaos Island and not in Kingdom Valley. Because the latter is where you find Metal Overlord instead.

Yeah, this would definitely confuse newcomers.

As I've said before, the game does the "don't think about a polar bear" thing by bringing up the matter of Shadow's blood, only to backpedal immediately afterwards with "his blood doesn't matter, I swear." At times I felt like I was playing Parasite Eve with talk of mutations and what-not.

And like, sure, the game does stress that Shadow determines his own destiny, but if that's the case, why bring up his blood eighty million times? Why turn it into a friggin' gameplay mechanic? The guy turns into a squid FFS

Oh, and I forgot to mention: the light of God that shone down on IDW!Sonic during his Sermon on the Rock also shines down on Maria when she tells Shadow the reason she gave him his name. Just in case you couldn't get The Symbolism. Very subtle, much cinematic, felt like I was playing SA2 all over again.

[redbuddi]

so invested already. if you'd be willing to give a rundown on your danny phantom rework thoughts...?

So this is a project I've been doing entirely on the side and is purely conceptual, at least for now. The majority of the art I've done for it are just Sketchbook doodles, haha. I've been calling it Phantom Redux!

Phantom Redux is a complete reboot of Danny Phantom, featuring new designs, new story, old story done better, etc. The set-up for the story is the same, Danny Fenton, while messing around in his parents' ghost lab, accidentally activates the ghost portal, giving him ghost powers, but also busting the door wide open for ghosts to invade Amity Park. And so, Danny takes it upon himself to capture these ghosts and send them back to the ghost zone!

But while the set up is the same, it'd be tackling things that the show wouldn't/couldn't/did poorly, in particular it'll be extremely gay, and obviously Danny will be a trans boy. I do also plan on depicting ghosts slightly differently, while they are connected to the living they are not literally a dead person who came back with cool powers.

-Sam: "Are you dead???" -Tucker: "Could you try to sound a little less excited?"

Episodes would be generally episodic but with overarching story arcs, much like in the original show, but will lean more into the fun horror side of things than in the superhero pastiche, I think we can all agree those were the least-interesting parts of the original.

This is of course all hypothetical for the moment, as the ghost boy does not yet belong to me, but Danny Phantom is the show that I think deserves a reboot the most right now (and also Gargoyles tbh,) and my reboot will be fantastic when Nickelodeon is destroyed for their crimes/I have the time to put this into motion.

That's the most basic rundown, but I'm happy to get more specific, if there's anything else you wanna know about!

Danny: "Ow! Watch where you're poking!"

[nullen-void]

A Random Skeleton Talks About Tears of the Kingdom

So, we all agree that Portal is a great game, right? And we all agree that Portal 2 is also a great game, right?

But are they great for the same reasons? When you talk about Portal 2, the things everyone talks about are Wheatley, Cave Johnson, the corrupted Cores, and Caroline. In Portal, yeah, you've got GLaDOS yammering at you the whole time and she's very funny, but people are more inclined to talk about the puzzles, the problems solving, the big climactic boss fight and how amazing the portal gun is. You'll get some of that in 2, but not as much.

So here's my thesis: Tears of the Kingdom is a great game, but Breath of the Wild is better.

It's my opinion that TotK is doing too much. You've got puzzles, you've got dungeons, you've got shrines, you got Land, Sky and Depths, you've got companions who each get their own arc;

There's a zombie apocalypse happening in Gerudo Town and a Ferngully pastiche happening in Zora's Domain, enemies can be armored, Gloomy, and armored AND Gloomy. There's an overarching mystery surrounding Zelda and her sporadic appearances, there's ten backstory cutscenes to unlock, and there's this and there's that and Team Rocket is building airplanes two miles underground and they hate you.

BotW, meanwhile, has much less happening. The shrines are there, and you can do as many or as few as you want. The Master Sword isn't required. Each side character gets a few minutes in the spotlight and then they're gone, essentially. The backstory cutscenes in this game aren't really a seperate story in their own right but just snippets of Link's life before; just enough to get you invested in his interpersonal relationships with a handful of long-dead people.

I want to make it clear that Totk doesn't do any of its many elements badly. At their worst, they're still competent and well done, and the things they do well are done very well. But there's just too much. The Ultrahand system is incredibly robust, and people are able to make amazing things, but Magnesis was better for puzzles because it had more restrictions, forcing you to get creative.

Normally, I'm a guy who's all about stories. Story is important, and Tears has a lot of it, but... Botw's breadcrumbs were almost more compelling. You had to find them yourself, and more often than not you'd stumble into a memory while just exploring on your own. It was like Link was having his memory jogged organically as he encountered places important to his past self. In Totk, the Dragon Tears are visible from space. They paint giant murals wherever they land, practically demanding you look at them, and if you don't then the end of the game is going to really confuse you, whereas in Botw the context wasn't necessary.

I dunno. They're both good, but I think in this case less is more, you know?

Besides, Tears of the Kingdom doesn't even have Kass in it, so I think we know who wins.

[forthegothicheroine]

"Poison Ivy isn’t a person but an eldritch curse" ooh, elaborate?

In "The Doom that Came to Gotham", by Mike "Hellboy" Mignola, she's some kind of magic curse construction used to turn Harvey Dent into an otherworldly portal. Considering it's a Lovecraft pastiche where most of the characters die, it gets a bit weird!

[wjbsart]

Anthro Mecha Universe in a nutshell because I am very far from having the first arc plotted out but I want to talk about it.

At some point Kaiju happen for some reason, probably science related. The first one to arrive is an eldritch abomination that creates portals, and a few of that flavour still occur, but most are either pollution-mutants, demons, angels, science-mutants or rogue AIs.

Everyone is anthropomorphic animals, except invertebrates, which fill the roles taken by regular non-anthropomorphic animals (with one exception that I'll get into later).

There's also a fascist government who are slowly invading and taking over independent regions, kinda like a more evil version of the NCR from New Vegas. They're called the New Argent Federation, and their president is Luther Blake (he/him, 65, saltwater crocodile). He has an underling who is basically a cross between Darth Vader, the Auditor from Brigador, and Pyro from TF2, piloting a mech that looks a bit like Necrozma.

Mech pilots are usually sorted into teams, kinda inspired by Sonic. Each team has a minimum of three pilots, though the number of mechs can be lower since some require multiple pilots (which is taken to extremes by Ironclad, a gigantic warship-themed mech piloted by 50 people). Mechs have different classes, but I won't be talking about them in this post because I can't be bothered.

The main team is Burst Team, composed of people who lack formal training, but still know how to do mech stuff mostly. The members are Stella Fawkes (she/her, 24, goblin shark), pilot of the Stygia, which is made partially out of old boats, submarines and diving mechs; Jim Autumn (he/him, 22, potoo), pilot of the Crimson Star, which he inherited from his mother after she retired; and Sue Simons (she/they, 23, moray eel), pilot of a mech I haven't named yet, which is designed for kaiju research but has had a giant rifle haphazardly bolted to the front.

Their rivals are Rage Team, who are all nepo-babies who pilot advanced mechs equipped with powerful but impractical weapons. The members are Harry Valero (he/him, 23, ocelot), pilot of the Valero Veloce MKIII Concept, an experimental high-speed mech; Miranda Jensen (she/her, 26, fox), pilot of the Starlet, a more humanoid mech with giant wings; and Brad Octavius (he/him, 25, rhinoceros), pilot of a mech I haven't named yet, which is a combat mech using parts from sports mechs.

Survivor Team are like. Pilots who were injured in the course of being a pilot, but kept doing it regardless. While I won't list all their members (because it would take too long and also the roster is far from complete), I do want to highlight Greg Phoenix (he/him, 53, kiwi), whose wife died during battle with a particularly powerful kaiju; he used parts of her mech to upgrade his own one, and named the result "Barbara" in memory of her. Also one of the characters is a Frogfish called Cora Reeve.

Terror Team are the big scary elite dudes, who are also big celebrities, with merch and sponsorships and stuff.

Advance Team are a bunch of giant neeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrds! Their mechs are more experimental (e.g a perfectly-spherical design with stretchy limbs so it can travel far distances quicker, and the body of a dead kaiju that's piloted by an electric eel who uses his natural electricity to puppet it).

Unity Team are just like a vague concept I have at the moment, but basically they have seven members in colour-coded mechs that can fuse together into a larger robot because Power Rangers (and also like. Sentai and Voltron and stuff) pastiche.

Outlier Team are the most interesting, as their members are all from species who aren't standard anthropomorphic animals, including a dimensionally-displaced human, a genetically-modified crab with full sapience and an inexplicable New York accent, an alien from a eusocial species with hundreds of genders, and an ancient robot that resembles an opabinia.

The Kaiju incident is called "The Intrusion", and started with an interdimensional worm monster emerging through a portal, which caused pollutive chemicals to become a powerful mutagen, alerted the setting's equivalents of Heaven and Hell, caused bioengineered creatures to mutate and escape from a lab that's still producing them, and made all the AIs in charge of various facilities go rogue. The results are Pollution (mutated invertebrates mostly, though sapient beings can also become Pollution Kaiju with prolonged exposure to the mutagen or if they eat the flesh of one), Dimensional (Kaiju from other dimensions or even between dimensions, with impossibly alien appearances and, if this ends up being a webcomic or whatever, different artstyles/mediums), Demonic (self-explanatory; in my document about all the characters, I describe them as having "Lots of flames, magma, mouths, leathery wings, pieces of brutalist architecture, masses of flesh, insect limbs, dangling chains, horns"), Angelic (again, self-explanatory; in my document about all the characters, I describe them as having "Lots of clouds, crystals, eyes, feathery wings, pieces of gothic architecture, intricate stained-glass panels, sea slug tentacles, flowing cloth, halos"), Biotech (biomechanical, in a similar way to the Combine Synths from Half-Life 2), and AI (literally just artificial intelligences that were originally in charge of facilities and stuff, but went rogue during The Intrusion and have built themselves bodies) Kaiju.

There's an ancient civilisation of prehistoric vertebrates who had robots based on prehistoric invertebrates (which also filled the roles of animals), as well as "walking buildings" that are essentially early mechs, consisting of Greco-Roman buildings held up by large, articulated statues.

[bestworstcase]

more on your ozlem/EA parallels-- I've been wondering for a long time about how some characters are based on fairytales as folktales, and some based on stories we culturally colocate with fairytales (Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz are specific published stories, with no cultural/folktale direct predecessors afaik). (now wondering if we have any Hans Christian Andersen characters that I've just forgotten about.) Both are portal fantasies, both star little girls, both have like a weird shared cultural perception of their origins. Do you have any thoughts about the two stories we're looking at so closely being constructed/authored instead of told collectively, especially since oz and alyx themselves have their authorship under scrutiny in the story?

*points at winter* kai from the snow queen

um i don’t know enough about the historical background of the oz books to have much of interest to say about them other than that the primary allusion constructed is to specifically the marvelous land of oz, and that sticks in the back of my mind a lot for what it might gesture at re: how things are gonna shake out with salem and ozma.

but wonderland. oh i sure do have some thoughts!

firstly while aaiw/ttlg are both original tales i will point out that they draw quite heavily from an established literary transition—almost all of the poetry is direct parody or pastiche of poems that would have been well known to contemporary audiences and there are a lot of cultural references and satirical jokes, for thorough cataloguing of this see martin gardener’s annotated alice. and further the stories themselves were essentially improvised in bits and pieces to entertain the liddell girls, with the books then being put together and edited from that wider and looser body of ideas—so while the story was authored by one person it does have this fuzzy sort of adjacency to fairytale, i think. whether rwby is directly engaging with that fuzziness remains to be seen (<- salem wrote it/sibs are fictional truther until soundly proven otherwise)

secondly—and i think more prominently—there’s a whole chasm of difference between the wonderland of the carroll books and the wonderland of pop culture, and that is something rwby definitively IS engaging with very deliberately, e.g. through the red prince and the red king as a play on the popular conflation of the red queen and the queen of hearts and the monster/nonsense poem duality of the jabberwalker. (<- both things i’ve nattered on prior so will not belabor the point) so i think we’re seeing a pointed engagement with both the original texts and the pop culture and the mutual unintelligibility that develops between these two ideas of what wonderland is—from an audience standpoint i’m finding it super interesting how different my emotional reactions to things is, as someone whose main point of reference for wonderland is the carroll books, vs the majority of the fandom whose primary familiarity is pop culture cf the disney cartoon and burton movies. and aside from being so much a wonderland-related trope in and of itself that it’s almost mandatory, from the amount of emphasis being put on ‘that wasn’t in the book’ i kind of wonder if rwby is making deliberate use of its audience’s general lack of familiarity with the carroll books to build tension and subvert expectations; people expect one thing because that’s how it’s always done in pop cultural depictions of wonderland, but get something different altogether because rwby is drawing heavily from the books. (see also, jaune is the hatter/hatta despite neo having been placed in the opening to evoke the pop culture image of the hatter; it’s a misdirection that relies on the audience not knowing the books but it was obvious from the start if you know what to look for!)

there’s a similar meta-awareness at play in the fairytales in that ozma alludes fairly overtly to the grimm brothers (<- …well i think it’s overt, the parts of the fandom convinced that the brother gods are the grimm brothers might suggest otherwise), compiling and editing and rearranging fairytales to suit his own agenda and push his own narrative. (this is one of several reasons “salem wrote it” has my brain in a stranglehold; positioning her as carroll to ozma’s brothers grimm is fucking fascinating if that’s what rwby’s going for.) so between that and the consistent emphasis on the fictional/unreal nature of the ever after in this volume (i mean at this point we have ruby straight up asking how the story is both real and not real!) i don’t think it’s out of the question that rwby might be like… really interested in the compare and contrast of, on the one hand oral folktales being collected and corrupted to suit an ideological agenda, and on the other a fictional story that was authored solely to entertain but becomes in some way more real as people interact with it. i think we probably need to get a definitive answer on who exactly wrote this book before we can get a proper sense of this, but like, the DNA is there.

[paolojcruz]

Comic Book Punks vs. Authoritarianism

REVIEWS : MUSIC

Are The Ravelos a gimmicky novelty act or legit antidote to frustration with the Duterte regime?

In professional wrestling, there's a term called ‘kayfabe’. That basically means staying in character. It’s sticking to your role, whether it’s an arrogant ladies’ man, a self-righteous environmentalist, or an undead bad-ass. Every action must fit that persona, even when you're being put in a rear naked choke or hit across the back with a steel chair.

In the same way, upstart Manila-based punk act The Ravelos practice kayfabe. According to the band, they're a group of superpowered misfits from the early 1980s. They were transported to 2019 via some kind of portal or wizard’s spell—they're not clear on how exactly it happened. Bottom line: they're here to fight supervillains, and to play three-chord punk songs about the state of The Philippines under President Rodrigo Duterte’s authoritarian rule. That's their story, and they're sticking with it.

The Ravelos first appeared in our timeline circa May this year. A veteran local comic artist (whose name rhymes with Chob Ram) drew an illustration of a punk band whose members were based on Filipino comic book heroes, all created by pioneering artist Mars Ravelo. Singer/guitarist Darnuh Vergara takes her cue from Darna—a transforming superheroine, often mistakenly touted as the Filipina version of Wonder Woman. The original artwork was part of #SigawDarna, an organic fan campaign to reinvent Darna for contemporary sensibilities. The Ravelos are rounded out by vocalist/axeman Flash Bombas, bassist Last Stick Man (inspired by rubber-limbed Lastikman), and drummer Kapitan Barbel (a pastiche of Captain Barbell, a metamorphing hero in the Shazam and henshin mold).

So far, so intriguing. But clever personas and a quirky backstory wouldn't mean a lot if they didn't have the musical skill to back it up. The identities of the actual performers is a poorly kept secret—just go to any of their shows to find out. Reliable sources claim that it may include members of seasoned independent acts like The Male Gaze, Cheats, and Boy Elroy. 

As for the songs? Well, listen to “Anuna?” (“Now What?”) for yourself:

Despite the raw-sounding mix (which may yet be another layer of their meta punk gimmick), it's clear they have legit grievances about very real issues. In the opening verse, Darnuh wails: 

Walang tubig! (No water!) Walang kuryente! (No electricity!) Walang tulog! (No sleep!) Walang diskarte! (No way out!)

It's a straightforward hit list of problems that Filipinos of all backgrounds can relate to. Then Flash responds: 

Saan napupuntang mga buwis? (Where do our taxes go?) Bakit ba tayo nagtitiis? (Why do we put up with this?) 

It's a familiar refrain, in a year marked by water shortages, rolling blackouts, and a relatively volatile economic mood.

Despite its cheeky title, “Sino Bang Tatay Mo?” (loosely “Who's Yr Daddy?”), it appears to lament kids who’ve been orphaned by the state’s questionable drug war. Meanwhile, “Asan Na Si Bantay?” calls out Duterte’s puppy-like stance towards Beijing in the country's territorial dispute with China over the West Philippine Sea.

It's worth asking: why use made-up personas to express valid political statements? A more unfavorable critic might accuse the band of performing “wokeness” for the sake of it. Especially when their manager/”hype man” Deeng reads almost the same prepared spiels off his tablet during each show. At the very least, it's a risky move in a sub/culture that pays so much lip service to authenticity. 

However, it's difficult to fault the band after seeing the groups they've supported. In July alone, they’ve played at shows for groups committed to holding the government accountable for its violations. A few weeks ago, the Ravelos rocked out at a launch for Sauron, a comic zine documenting the massacre of organized farm workers in Negros. They followed that up with a gig supporting KOLATERAL—Sandata’s rap concept album, based on street-level data about state-approved vigilante killings. 

Even with the four-color alter-egos, The Ravelos’ act has the tacit blessing of groups who’ve done hands-on grassroots work with farmers and urban poor communities. That sounds pretty damn punk rock to me. 

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #14

Forever Forever - Genevieve Artadi

Main genres: Progressive Pop, Art Pop, Jazz Fusion

A decent sampling of: Psychedelic Pop, Nu-Jazz, Digital Fusion

So yeah, I decided on the final contenders for 2023's year end list and promptly realized that the list was almost entirely full of albums by solo artists. Strange coincidence, I know. I swear it's not intentional - sometimes that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Knower were one of the only bands to even make the cut for the honourable mentions list this year, let alone a proper spot on the actual list. Knower Forever got snubbed in part because, as much as I liked that record, Genevieve Artadi's own solo endeavour from this year was just a little more enticing to my ears.

As I mentioned in the aforementioned honourable mention.....what the fuck was that sentence?

Ahem...LIKE I SAID EARLIER, I discovered Genevieve Artadi through being one part of the LA-based jazz-funk band with Louis Cole, whom in turn I discovered through 2017 memes, and then rediscovered through my dad. Some crazy pipeline, eh? Also, turns out she's not a newcomer in the slightest and has in fact been making records in various groups since as early as the late 90s.

So who is Genevieve Artadi anyway? Well, as a solo artist, she's one of the more esoteric figures active in her artistic medium. As a vocalist, she opts to sing in a dainty, glassy mezzo-soprano that conveys sweetness with a touch of snark. She doesn't generally sing plain old regular melodies, instead playing with discordance, near-octave jumps, and occasionally letting her voice fall frail. She has a lot of that real jazz spirit that allows her to let loose and get creative, decorating her musical compositions with a lot of pizazz.

I've also noted a subtle, uncanny element to her delivery. Artadi's lyrics are mostly stream-of-consciousness, and the words often fall out of her mouth like she's an advanced robot, learning to recreate the more awkward parts of human behaviour through song. All around, her artistic persona and execution are both deeply fascinating.

And it seems that I chose a great point of introduction to her solo work. Forever, Forever is cool shades of pastel art pop elegance with fanciful psychedelic jazz embellishments. Genevieve Artadi has invented her own musical garden just like Minnie Riperton, except she's inviting the listener to sit down and eat spice cake made with crushed diamonds, and down it all with some very oddly perfumed tea that just might turn the whole world around you giant if you should drink it.

I'm just gonna say this now - fans of Melody's Echo Chamber and Sheena Ringo will both probably get a lot out of this record. There's a commonly shared love of this kind of ambitious, cartoonish but classy prog-pop approach which I could always use more in my life, especially to remove the drabness of my daily commute. Can't have enough of this kind of stuff, honestly.

So how bout those tracks?

"Visionary" is emergent psychedelic pop that unravels like folds of a fan into a sea of warm, fuzzy pads and acoustic guitars. It very much immerses you in the imagery of a world that is idyllic, but with ceremonies stranger and grander than you could fathom, like going through a portal gate to witness a festival of millions of butterflies. An aesthetic parallel to the fantastical anime film spectacles of Hayao Miyazaki and Satoshi Kon.

The best way I could describe "Nice" is that it's elevator jazz music that's taking you towards a destination of self-actualization. Artadi's high speed enunciation over the shaky 2/4 rhythm makes me feel all dizzy and out of breath just hearing it. Endless ascension.

"Black Shirts" is a shifty checkerboard ballroom romp with several track progressions, from flowery flute melodies to jazzy breakdowns with steppy piano solos, all before devolving into flimsy bossa nova pastiche. Genevieve Artadi tells a very frank tale of co-dependence, with silly metaphors aboutthings like Nissans that rings both funny and terribly sad. This song bleeds creativity, like sonic violets and indigos spilling over into a monochromatic landscape shaped like the one in M.C. Escher's Relativity.

"Plate" has some god-tier tight, groovy drum work which I'm guessing was laid down by her regular bandmate Louis Cole. The stream-of-consciousness lyrics travel about as fast as the speed that my own thoughts regularly fly in and out of my head, so it feels like a very familiar sensation; like being lost in maze of contemplation until my head is as big as a balloon. Very cool track.

I'll admit I'm not as keen on the majority of the slower cuts. I really think Genevieve is at her best when she's conveying a very composed, jazzy musical hysteria, especially because her more soft-pedal voice lends itself to more exuberant, flashy melodies. The sunny closer "Watch For The View" would be my one exception, though even that's more mid-tempo song than anything.

But beyond my silly preferences, I think this is a really fun record. Forever, Forever is everything you should want in your art pop - quirky, eclectic, evocative, and seriously addictive. This is a true music nerd's record, and it's clear that a lot of love and ambition went into this project.

I'm hoping Genevieve Artadi reaches a bigger audience with whatever she does next, because she's one of the most creative artists in her medium, and she needs to be experienced at least once by everyone.

8/10

Highlights: "Visionary", "Black Shirts", "Plate", "Nice", "Watch For The View"