#popgunloaded

[clawsextended]

selina has no clear memory of her time in arkham when being experimented on with the earliest form of fear toxin. she has no idea she was patient zero for the concoction because, much like large parts of her childhood, she aggressively repressed these things so deeply and so darkly she seldom revisits them, or visits them at all.

in nightmares these things become inescapable. she’s soundproofed her room for torture purposes, that’s true, but also she has a kid who needs to get her sleep. and also doesn’t need to be exposed to the nature of her trauma. selina, when her stress levels are extreme, is chronically plagued to an extent worse than usual. she goes to places in dreams she hasn’t seen before, stuck in dark, terrible closets, screaming her throat raw. her own nail marks decorate the walls like tallies, like these dreams connect. when her head is at its worst she thinks they must.

selina was uniquely susceptible due to her disproportionately severe levels of trauma and was useful to the experiment for that reason. her crushing fears were exacerbated to the point where it became a collar clasped cold and iron around her neck, living between waking and an unconscious dissociative state. her mind had fractured to a severe degree, and would only continue to be pushed by the hardships she’d both provoked and fallen into, forced to pay for the sins of the fathers she refused to claim. she didn’t remember the man from her childhood — he’s faceless to this day, voice a choked, warped gurgle, blood spurting with each rasped insult from the gaping hole where a larynx once was.

and she was afraid. and she is afraid.

it never leaves her, that memory. those images flash behind her eyes when she closes them. she hears the clatter of a death rattle in the silence.

she thinks her time there was, of course, because she is a danger to herself and others and anyone sane would think she belongs there — in her words. she doesn’t have any knowledge of the trials and the experiments performed on her, thinks only it was a part of arkham. as all other ‘unpleasant’ treatments there tend to be.

morbidly, selina’s extremely used to mistreatment. she expects it.

[trustschaos]

✭ INTERACTION ✩ STARTER CALL  ✭

@popgunloaded / h. quinn.

"okay, you wanna tell me again what happened?" a hand's held up to indicate that's not the entire question, "just... a little more to the point this time, maybe?"

[eurosleaz]

" jesus, don't you know that you could've died? "

one-line lyric starter call. / @popgunloaded

[moonreflected]

@popgunloaded ☾ starter call.

"i can't believe i'm saying this..." it's true, it's almost enough to send a shiver through her in true wynonna fashion. actually, she'll save it for a final flourish. "i don't think setting anything on fire is our best option here," and right on cue, she shivers in a hugely exaggerated manner, "but i'm totally up for brainstorming,"

[clawsextended]

“romeo, romeo, wherefore art thou romeo?”

you gesture your hands —long, elegant claws reaching — snatch! — and you take your whip and unfurl it from your waist. unfurl, and it snaps out, easy —

“ —deny thy father and refute thy name — i forgot the rest.”

CLANK. the ladder drops loudly down, makes a ruckus as the cat leans against a bike glinting in the dark of the alleyway. you drop a little quirk of your head aside. your teeth flash, too.

“i’ve gotta go drop this baby off at the auto shop. take the ride?”

you’ll give her anything she wants anyway.

@popgunloaded asked to vroom vroom.

[clawsextended]

@popgunloaded asked: [ SNIP-SNIP ] // or dyeing her hair because. no one needs to know selina is a natural blonde. but harleen does.

“i feel so stupid.”

your thigh vibrates rapidly and your ankles vibrate rapidly and you’re sitting here in a sports bra and a pair of black bike shorts and your whole body is a thick stack of circles and curves and lines that you feel in their degrees and in each and every bend. your eyes are so wide that the brown is black, disc of a pupil pooling and pooling until it’s ink and you feel stupid stupid fucking stupid stupid stupid fucking stupid. it resonates in your brain.

your whole body is vibrating soon. your fingers keep flexing and relaxing on your knees. you don’t tear into them when harleen plops to straddle your lap, gently sinks her hands into all this gold you’ve promised for a role. you’re being vulnerable. super fucking vulnerable. this is the most vulnerable you’ve ever been.

it’s too long. it makes you want to just… rip it out of your fucking head. right out. it’s long and you think about how easy it is to grab (you don’t think this way when it’s brown, you notice, you have to tell alana that) and it makes your throat feel like it’s closing. so you reach up and make a snip snip snip motion before you say,

“cut, pl—“

the please is such an effort you can’t even throw it up.

[eurosleaz]

maybe she’s answered this but curious minds need to know, thoughts on parasite (2019)

" oh, i adore parasite! i have the criterion release -- ordered it as soon as it was announced. anyway, like i said about ready or not, it's about rich vs. poor. it's also very funny to put it in the context of rich man fanboys-- they'll break their back for a man who will never know they exist. it's an incredible piece of work. i don't wanna say 'it's more relevant than it was when it came out' because it isn't. it's just that nothing has fucking changed! "

@popgunloaded

[clawsextended]

sideblog to @godblooded​.

a study in creating your own family / playing life fast & loose / what it’s like to survive with the ground shrinking beneath your feet / cruelty & kindness in equal measure / what it means to wear a mask / the unwilling antihero / patricide / violence as a love language / duality & honesty / learning to love yourself when feeling unlovable is all you’ve ever known.

ind. & sel. hathacat of christopher nolan’s dark knight franchise as minimally controlled by kat valentine. heavily influenced by ocean’s 8. SHE’S GAY DUDES.

HEAVILY AFFILIATED WITH @popgunloaded / @vspertilian / @redemnation / @ataviisms / @thanagrian / @am4zon / @asoulofstars / @mxdam / @faultyconscience / @tlacehualli / @luscinai

law.