#poor tommy LMAOO

[soullumii]

OH MY GOD.

cat's outta the bag

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: 3 times they almost got caught, and 1 time that they did

warnings/tags: [18+, minors DNI] fwb!joel, language, smut, unprotected PIV sex, oral [f & m recieving], literally just porn lmao

word count: 4.9k

prequel to this here

A shelf was digging painfully into your shoulder blade, and the sharp edge of it nudged dully into your flesh with every one of Joel’s movements. He had you pinned up on the countertop, your pants around your knees. He’d been so eager, so pent up after a fortnight of not getting to touch you. Your patrols hadn’t been matching up, and you’d both been busy with friends, and odd jobs, and life. After three hours on horseback the pair of you had finally reached the checkpoint, and you’d only managed to get his zipper undone and tug his pants down a fraction before he’d shoved you up on the bench, stepping between your legs.

The safehouse was dank and dusty, nothing but a dilapidated hiding place with a few stashed weapons and a logbook on the coffee table to leave patrol notes in. The two of you had fucked there many times, on quiet patrol days. Sometimes it was just to pass the time; just something to do to cure a mutual boredom. Other times, this time, it was a frustration release.

Joel’s hips pounded mercilessly into you, his cock pushing heavily against the deepest part of you with every thrust. One of his hands gripped your waist, and the other was under your shirt, fingers circling and tugging on your nipple as you gasped wetly into his mouth.

“Never goin’ two weeks without fuckin’ you again,” he grunted against your lips, puffing out heavy breaths. “Been fuckin’ my first every night like a goddamn teenager, imagining it was your pussy.”

“Shit, Joel,” you moaned, thighs tightening around his waist. His hand drifted from your waist down past your hip to grip your leg behind your knee, holding it in place against his hip. You cringed in pain as your shoulder struck the shelf again with a particularly rough thrust, but couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Couldn’t risk him stopping, couldn’t risk it when your orgasm was so fucking close. 

Your hands were under his shirt, and your nails dug into the skin of his back, no doubt leaving red marks in your wake. His cock was thick and heavy inside of you, stretching you out deliciously after two weeks of missing him. Hard as you tried, your fingers could never produce the same effect as this; you feared nothing, and no one would ever compare to the way he fucked you.

His mouth was on your neck, spitting curses as he bucked into you. Stars burst behind your eyelids, and you pulsed around him, a ringing filling your ears as you fell over the edge. Euphoria filled your bloodstream, and a loud bang filled the room as his hand slammed down onto the counter beside you. Joel was grunting in your ear, chasing his own end now that he knew you were satisfied. But as his hips began to stutter against yours, losing their rhythm, a faint whistle could be heard from outside the house.

The pair of you froze, his hips stilling with his length fully sheathed in you. Your soaked cunt was still pulsing around him, the aftershocks of your orgasm making your body shake against the bench.

“It’s Dina and Jesse,” you muttered quickly, the realisation dawning on you that they were there to relieve the two of you from your patrol. Joel’s face pulled back from your neck and you cringed to see his thunderous expression. His lips were pursed tightly, harsh exhales huffing out of his nose, and a gorgeous blush painted his cheeks. Reluctantly, he dragged his hand out from under your shirt, but made no move to step back. Frustration rolled off him in waves, his chest rising and falling with short sharp breaths.

“Joel,” you snapped urgently, hand pressing on his chest. “They’ll be in here any second.”

“Fuck,” he snarled, pulling his hips away from you and groaning at the feeling of his length slipping out of your heat. You dropped off the bench quickly, cringing at the sudden emptiness as you pulled your pants up around your hips. His cock was out of his jeans, head painfully red and weeping pre-cum. You could tell he was aching from the way he gripped himself, thumb stroking along a vein that protruded along his length as he stared at you intensely. There were getting closer to the door now, and you could hear them talking softly. Joel must have heard them too, because he tucked himself into his pants and did his belt up quickly, walking over to the coffee table and scribbling quickly in the logbook.

When Dina and Jesse walked through the door you offered them a quick nod, shouldering your rifle and gripping your pack, attempting to walk normally and not be obvious about how painful the ache between your thighs was.

“Took your fucking time,” Joel grunted at them, before slipping out the front door and stalking towards the horses.

----------------

You’d had a long day at the greenhouse. Summer was in full swing, and the sun bore down on you all day. By the end of your shift, a headache was twinging at your temple, and there was a light red tinge across your shoulders and nose.

You didn’t think twice before bypassing your own home, and heading directly to Joel’s. He answered your knock at the door after only a few seconds, and the frown on his face slid off when he saw you.

“Jesus,” he huffed a laugh. “You forget to put a hat on today, sunshine?”

“It’s been a long day,” is all you said. “Are you home alone?” His eyes darkened as he understood what you were asking, and he stepped aside to let you in.

You didn’t make it up the stairs. He pushed you down onto the couch, kissing and sucking at your neck, lips trailing down your body as he tugged your shorts off your legs. Running your fingers through his short dark hair, you pulled gently on the strands, revelling in the sighs of contentment he let out against your thigh. Hands rubbed into your skin, and goosebumps rippled across your flesh despite the heat, as he knocked your knees apart and knelt on the hardwood floor between your legs.

“This what you want?” he looked up at you, desire swimming in his dark brown eyes. “You get all sweaty and sunburnt and then come here for me to kiss it better?” 

You nodded pathetically as he kissed the inside of your knee, holding your gaze.

“Wanna hear you say it.”

“Yes,” you breathed, gripping the collar of his shirt. “Had a shit day, need you to make it better.”

He licked a stripe along the inside of your thigh, and you sighed heavily, chest rising and falling quickly as he worked his way closer to the ache between your legs. When his fingers grazed the front of your underwear, he groaned to feel how wet the material was.

“Y’always get so wet for me,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to the fabric. You flinched, your cunt throbbing.

“Just a coincidence,” you said, smiling lazily as his tongue dragged against the fabric, giving you both a tease of what was to come. He didn’t respond, impatiently pushing the material to the side, before dragging two of his fingers through your slick folds. He didn’t waste any time, one of his thick digits slipping past your entrance and curling inside of you. His eyes watched you closely as he pulled his hand back and sucked his finger into his mouth, licking the taste of you off his skin.

“Fucking perfect,” he muttered, gripping your underwear, and removing it hastily. He threw the garment somewhere over his shoulder, and before you could criticise him, his large hands were gripping your thighs and tugging them over his shoulders. You gasped in surprise, dropping down on the couch. “Let me kiss it better now.”

His nose dragged through the dark curls on your mound, inhaling deeply. Without warning, he ducked his head and his broad tongue dragged through your folds. A haggard sigh tore from your lips at the sensation. You let your head drop back against the top of his couch, closing your eyes.

Tired mumbles of his name and curses fell from your lips and you rocked your hips up, eager for more friction. Your nose scrunched up as his tongue circled your entrance, nose bumping your clit, and you winced as your sunburnt skin crinkled. You willed your face to relax, and breathed deeply as he fucked you with his mouth.

Looking down for a moment, your stomach tightened to see him watching your reactions as his mouth worked greedily, sucking, and licking into you.

You could feel yourself nearing your end already. He always knew how to get you there, knew exactly what made you tick. But as you went to verbalise it, to tell him how close you were, how good it felt, a rapid knock came at the door. Your eye twitched at the sound, and you looked in the direction of the sound. Unperturbed, Joel continued his ministrations, gripping your thighs closer to his head and fucking into you with his tongue. You whimpered softly and felt your thighs begin to shake where they rested on his shoulders. 

You cried out his name as he changed his rhythm, tongue flicking quickly across your clit in side-to-side movements. As the heat began to build again, another sharp knock landed on his front door and you cursed loudly, in annoyance this time.

“Joel?” a woman’s voice called from outside. “Are you home?”

“Is that Natalie fucking Wilson,” you hissed, pushing his face away from you. The woman worked at the stables, and it was painfully obvious to everyone how smitten she was with Joel. Her eyes would follow him everywhere he went; on the street, when he came through the stables on patrol, when she spotted him the Tipsy Bison. She acted like a dog on heat when he was around, and you didn’t blame her; your friend was attractive. But you never thought she’d come knocking at his fucking door. 

Joel’s eyes were dazed as he looked up, finally registering the sound of her voice outside. His lips were parted as he breathed deeply, staring up at you, pupils dilated. Your slick made his lips and beard shine, and your heart pounded at the sight of him looking so blissed out just from going down on you.

“Did you know she was coming over?” you groused, moving to sit up straight.

“Don’t know what she wants,” he grunted, his forearm moving to press across your stomach, holding you down. “Ignore it.” He pressed messy kisses against your pussy, trying to convince you.

“Joel,” you huffed moments later when she knocked again, frustrating spiking in your already tense muscles. “She’s not going anywhere.” You attempted to slide out from under his grasp.

“Don’t you dare move,” he said lowly, his grip on you tightening in a warning. Before you could speak again, his tongue licked a long stripe up your pussy, ending with a sharp flick across your clit, and anything you were going to say was cut off by a low moan.

“Fuck,” you sighed, one hand sliding down to grip his hair again. He groaned in response, sending a vibration through your core. His long tongue dipped into your entrance, before moving up to draw slow circles around your clit, his leisurely pace driving you insane. It was as if he wasn’t even concerned with making you finish, just lazily running his tongue over you, savouring the taste of you, all for his own pleasure.

“Joel?” her voice rang out again, and your head turned to the side to glance at the door. With a startled noise, you realised you could see her. She was bent down, trying to glance through the front window. Thankfully the curtains were drawn, with only a crack of space for her to peak through. 

“She’s gonna fucking see us,” you panted, fingers gripping the back of his head as you writhed beneath him. “Stop, stop.”

He pulled back for a split second and said, “Shut the fuck up,” before his mouth was back on your slick cunt. Your back arched as heat soared through you, legs shaking vigorously as he held them to his shoulders, fingertips digging painfully into your soft flesh.

“I’m so close,” you whispered breathlessly, staring nervously at the window. You took your hand off the back of his head and raised it to cover your mouth, teeth digging into your palm. He grunted, reaching up to grip your hand and shove it back into his hair. As another, louder, knock landed on his front door, you gasped brokenly and fell over the edge, your orgasm flooding through you, hips bucking against his fierce grip. His mouth continued moving against you, eagerly swallowing your release, his deep moans vibrating through your core.

As you came down from your high, Joel pressed a chaste kiss to your clit before pulling back, gazing up at you breathlessly with a tired grin on his face. He turned his head and wiped his mouth on your inner thigh, before kissing the skin. His hands rubbed along the muscles of your thighs, relaxing the bunching up muscles. Silence settled over the room, and your eyes begged to close, the release paired with a long day making you sleepy.

“You hear that?” he asked with a smirk, and you frowned in confusion. “I think she’s finally gone.”

----------------

“Do you know what you’re doin’ to me right now?”

The Tipsy Bison was crowded. It was Saturday night, and countless people were milling around the hall, drinking, and dancing and chatting. You were five drinks deep, having a good time with your friends, and enjoying the way the Summer breeze blew in through the open doors and caressed your skin.

“Whatever do you mean?” you sipped your drink, looking at Joel out of the corner of your eye. He was sat beside you in the booth, and the two of you had been left alone when Tommy and Maria went off to dance, and Lou and Carl disappeared to get more drinks.

“That dress,” he muttered, the alcohol in his system making his Southern drawl all the more noticeable. You grinned cheekily into your glass, shoulders shaking with laughter. The dress was something you kept tucked away for most of the year, considering it was only appropriate for very warm weather. With thin straps and a short hemline, the skin of your shoulders, chest, and legs was all visible.

“Oh, you like it?” you teased, eyes lazily dragging around the room, watching people dancing and singing.

Joel didn’t speak. Instead, he gripped your hand and dragged it under the table, placing it over his lap. You froze when you felt him under his jeans, stiff as a board, pressing against his zipper. 

“I love it,” he said gruffly.

“You’re drunk,” you laughed, palming him through his jeans.

“I am,” he nodded, his hand pressing down on top of yours, applying more pressure. “Can’t stop lookin’ at you. At your mouth, thinking about your lips around my cock.”

“Fucking hell,” you whispered, glancing around to make sure nobody was in earshot of your conversation.

“Sorry,” he lied, bleary eyes staring into yours. You gazed at him for a moment, contemplating, before you nudged him out of the booth.

“Come with me,” you said, turning and walking quickly towards the bathrooms at the back of the hall. You ducked your head inside quickly, and when you saw that all of the stalls were empty, and not a single person in sight, you tugged him in after you.

You pushed him into one of the stalls and locked the door behind you.

“Gonna let me fuck you?” he murmured, leaning in to press his mouth against your neck. His teeth nipped against your pulse point and you hissed, but then his tongue soothed over the sore spot and a warmth grew in your stomach.

“No,” you whispered, and he paused, pulling back to look at you. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out as he watched you lower onto your knees in front of him. You worked hastily to undo his belt, salivating as you pulled his thick cock out of his briefs.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he breathed, eyes dark as he stared down at you. “You’re killin’ me.”

Grinning, you stroked his length slowly, letting your thumb slide over the bead of precum on his weeping head. You raised your thumb to your lips and sucked it into your mouth slowly, tasting him with a soft moan. He was swollen and pulsating from lack of attention, his ruddy head begging to be touched. Eagerly, you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his head. A sharp breath rushed out of his mouth, and you laughed as his head knocked against the stall, giving small, soft kitten licks against his slit.

One of his hands rested heavily on your shoulder, thumb grazing back and forth along your collarbone as your tongue licked from his tip to his base. Sweat slicked your back under the light material of your dress, and you could feel your heart racing in your chest. You gripped his length in your hand and stroked gently as you parted your lips around the tip, taking it into your warm mouth. His hand tightened on you. You pressed forward and let him sink further into your mouth, moving your head in a slow rhythm with your hand. White noise rushed in your ears, and you couldn’t help but bring your fingers down to brush against the front of your panties, feeling the dampness that had collected there. You whimpered around the weight of him, wishing he was inside of you.

“I’m not gonna last long,” you could vaguely hear him muttering, and you hummed around him. You loved the way he babbled when you had your mouth around him, like he didn’t know what to do with himself, so he just talked. “Look so perfect with my cock in your mouth, been thinkin’ about this all night. Look at me, gimme those eyes.”

You looked up with wide eyes and pushed yourself further down his length, tongue swirling fervently around his tip. His face crumpled in pleasure, hips jutting forward instinctively, and you choked as he hit the back of your throat.

“Fuck, sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

You squeezed his thigh in forgiveness, pulling back for a breath before sucking his tip back into your mouth, tongue dragging along his sensitive slit as you blinked away tears.

After giving yourself another quick moment to breathe, you put your mouth around him and pushed yourself as far as you could, revelling in the sounds of his deep breaths as your nose almost brushed the curls at his base. Tears leaked out of the corners of your eyes, and he brushed them away tenderly. He was so deep, nudging the back of your throat, and you swallowed around him, gagging lightly.

Joel let out a choked sound, his fingers burying themselves in your hair.

“God, your fuckin’ mouth,” he groaned. “Y’take me so well. Open up wider for me, c’mon.” Inhaling deeply through your nose, you went to move again, but stilled at the sound of the bathroom door opening. Your panicked eyes met Joel’s and he held a finger to his mouth, urging you to stay silent.

Laughter filled the room as two women entered.

“Did you see him? He’s so drunk,” one of them slurred, giggling loudly.

“He’s been all over you tonight,” the other one said, and a tap started running.

A mischievous thought ran through your head, and without hesitating, you began to bob up and down, letting him fuck your mouth. His hand tightened in your hair, giving you a warning look and a shake of his head. But he must’ve seen the determined look in your eyes, because his resolve faltered, and he let out a shaky exhale.

“Fuck,” he mouthed as you pulled off almost completely, suctioning your lips around his tip and stroking him firmly with your hand.

The women were chattering loudly, the water still running, and thankfully the noise covered up any sounds that the two of you were making.

“Stop,” he mouthed urgently, but you shook your head, taking his full length into your mouth again. You hummed around him and his eyes shut tightly, hips pushing forward, searching for his release. He was close, and you both knew it, and even with the women standing a metre away, you weren’t going to stop.

But he didn’t give you a choice, gripping your hair in his fist and pulling you off him completely. Holding your head still, he reached down with his other hand and began to touch himself. You could feel how wet you were, slick dripping down your thighs. You watched with hooded eyes as he tugged on his cock, his mouth hanging open in pleasure.

The tap turned off suddenly, and you vaguely heard the women leave the bathroom as you leant forward and parted your lips in front of him.

“Open up for me,” he encouraged, biting his bottom lip harshly. He gripped himself tight, stroking quickly and maintaining eye contact with you. Your cheeks were hot under his gaze, but you held your mouth open patiently, and when he came in hot, thick spurts onto your tongue you swallowed it down eagerly. Leaning forward to take his tip into your mouth again, you sucked and licked at him until he was pushing you back, thumb stroking your cheek in appreciation.

Joel redid his buckle and helped you off the ground, wincing at the sound of your knees cracking painfully. With a smile, he wiped the mix of saliva and his spend off your chin, before bringing the finger up to his own mouth to suck it clean.

“You good?” you rasped, and he nodded slowly. “Alright, follow me out after a minute or two. Don’t wanna be too obvious.”

----------------

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Joel to visit you at work. The greenhouse was in a quiet part of the settlement. It was a small building, filled with tall heavy foliage, and countless boxes of soil that fed life into vegetables and herbs. More often than not, you would work long days all by yourself, and sometimes he would pop by to enjoy the peace and quiet while you tended to the produce. That day though, when he’d walked into the greenhouse, he’d been tense.

“Howdy soldier,” you’d smiled, busy repotting a tomato plant. But your interest was piqued when you heard shuffling, and you glanced up to see him pushing a heavy crate across the ground, settling it in front of the door. “What’s goin’ on?”

“I need you,” he’d said in a low voice, making his way across the room towards you. Your gloved hands stilled in the soil, dumbfounded. “Woke up thinking about your pussy, had to get myself off twice before I could even leave the house. Had you in my head all fuckin’ day.”

“I’m working,” you’d replied, eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s never stopped us before.”

That’s how you ended up shirtless, with your torso pressed down onto the wooden table in the middle of the room. Joel’s large hands were splayed across your back, fingers and lips dragging along your skin. The tip of his cock was nudging your entrance, silently asking permission. Your hips twitched backwards, soaked cunt aching to be filled.

“Just fuck me already,” you muttered, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

He glared down at you, eyes greedily taking in the sight of you laid out against the worktop, back arching as you pushed your ass against him. “Don’t act like you’re not dripping right now. I can feel it; you need this just as much as I do.”

You bit your tongue, knowing he was right. With a low groan, he slid into you in one smooth movement, fingertips digging into the skin of your back. You sighed at the sensation, enjoying the dull ache that always came when he was first inside you. He was so long, so thick. Stretching you so perfectly, always hitting that spot so deep that it had you gasping for breath.

He fucked you quickly, the way he always did. But the angle was harsh at first, and you reached a hand back and pressed it to his thigh; squeezed once, gently.

“Slower,” you breathed, and he complied. His thrusts turned slow, lazily dragging himself fully out before pushing back in to the hilt. You hummed in approval, your forehead resting against the bench.

The burn faded as your arousal grew, and soon enough you were so slick that there was no pain at all, and you found yourself moaning with every movement of his hips.

“So tight,” he was babbling into your neck, chest pressing tightly against your back. “Feels so fuckin’ good.”

He couldn’t help but quicken his pace again, but you weren’t bothered this time. The head of his cock nudged against your cervix with every thrust, and you moaned deeply, one of your hands drifting to rest over your mouth, attempting to muffle the sounds.

“The hell are you doin’?” he asked from behind you, hand reaching down to bunch your hair at the base of your neck. “Let me hear you, baby. Wanna hear you when I’m fuckin’ you.”

You mewled, basking in the feeling of his body all over you, inside of you. He was everywhere, the smell of his sweat filling up your nostrils.

“Christ,” you mumbled, eyes rolling back in your head as he gave a particularly hard thrust, your body jolting into the table. His name spilled out of your mouth urgently as your stomach suddenly tightened, and you could tell you were close.

“Joel?”

You flinched, eyes widening as you recognised the voice as Tommy’s. He must’ve been right outside the greenhouse.

“Oh my god,” you muttered, cringing at the thought of him catching you both. How the fuck would you explain this? You thanked your lucky stars that the glass building was filled with so much greenery, that from the outside the two of you wouldn’t be visible through the brush. But your stomach dropped when you heard the door handle rattling as he attempted to get inside.

“You in there Joel?” he called again. “Maria said she saw you headed down here, I need your help with something.” 

“Fuck off Tommy,” Joel yelled suddenly, frustration clear in his voice.

“Joel,” you begged quietly, making a weak attempt to lift your head. His hand maintained its grip on your hair at the base of your neck, and the other pressed on the small of your back, keeping you pinned to the table. Your hand tightened over your mouth, fingertips digging into your cheek.  

“C’mon,” he grunted. “I know you’re close. Let me fuckin’ feel you, want to feel you grippin’ me while you cum. Go on now, let me have it.”

Tommy’s voice was closer now, and you bit down onto your knuckles as your orgasm creeped ever closer. Joel’s thrusts were unforgiving, the angle helping his cock reach the deepest spot inside of you.

“Don’t fuckin’ come in here,” Joel snapped loudly, hips not ceasing their movements in the slightest. His skin met yours in a satisfying smack, smack, smack. Your body was positively vibrating, core tightening around him as you felt yourself dangle precariously on the edge of your orgasm.

“Oh fuck,” you mewled into your hand. “I can’t, Joel.”

“Yes you fucking can,” he panted, leaning down to press a kiss against your shoulder. “Give it to me, baby.”

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” Tommy’s voice was closer still. You heard the door to the greenhouse open a fraction and bang against the crate Joel had blocked it with.

“Tommy,” Joel shouted, and your face was on fire against the table as you realised what was about to happen. “I’ll wring your fuckin’ neck if you come in here right now.”

Straining your neck against Joel’s hold, you glanced up just in time to see Tommy’s head poke through the gap in the door and make eye contact with you at the exact moment your release tore through you. Your mouth hung open in ecstasy, moans spilling against your hand. But muffling your cries was futile considering he had definitely seen you, and wet sounds were filling the room as Joel fucked you, your cum dripping down your legs. Tommy’s face paled, and he disappeared from the doorway – but not before Joel spotted him.

 “You fuckin’ idiot,” Joel spat. “Get the fuck out.”

Through it all, his hips never slowed, and you choked out a gasp as his palm landed with a loud crack against your ass. He gripped the flesh, and your eyes rolled back in your head as you imagined the bruises that would no doubt be there tomorrow. Suddenly, he was spitting curses and groans of your name. Joel gripped your shoulders and tugged your body up so your back was flush to his chest.

One of his hands came around to grip your breast, thumb and index finger pinching your nipple as his other hand drifted down your stomach to rest over your mound. You cried out desperately as his finger dragged over your clit, and another orgasm ripped through your body. He pulsed inside of you, hips spasming frantically, and you could feel his hot spend coating your walls, deep groans echoing off the glass walls of the greenhouse.

When the aftershocks of your orgasms had worn off, he didn’t pull out. Just gripped you tight, kissing your neck slowly.

“Well,” he cleared his throat quietly, his large palm splayed across your stomach, holding you to his chest. His forehead lowered to rest on your shoulder, his weight beginning to lean heavier on your back as exhaustion came over him. “Guess the cat’s outta the bag.”

a continuation

[nomsfaultau]

my trick or treating rounds this year involve any [and possibly all] of your Philzas, so… trick or treat!!!

[Yes, I scaled the cliff wall to the Ravengence nest]

[my costume is a witch, I have a crow, he sits on my shoulder :3 ]

(in order)

Where do babies come from!Philza: *You approach a normal house. When you knock there's a flurry of activity and laughter. When Philza opens the door he's batting off a hoard of kids trying to grab the treat bowl that he's holding over all of their heads. Philza blinks at you in surprise. He's also wearing a witch costume.* Hey mate! We're twinsies! Haha here you go- *Gives small piece of candy. He's poor lmaoo*

Where, then, do your loyalties lie?Philza: *The house is dim, and there is no response from within even after a few rings of the doorbell. A faint shuffling inside, lethargic, as if it's too much effort to try. When you call for Philza, there is a soft, choked sob. The door never opens. When you leave, you are tailed by people in soldier uniforms that are a little too authentic to be costumes. They want to know why you're looking for him.*

Golden Apples (Gilded Atrophy)!Philza: *There's a loud swearing when the doorbell rings, and a harried assurance he's coming. A winged man props open the door, clearly digging through a bag to try and find some type of treat to give you. At last he pulls out a shimmering golden apple, and he freezes, staring longingly at the magic pooling at his clawtips. You, too, are drawn in, instinctively reaching for the golden apple, and Philza scrambles back.* Trick, *he snaps, slamming the door in your face so you can't steal it from him.*

Where Hearts Roost!Philza: *The witch stares at you, large claws digging into the floor a little. He half laughs.* Now that's cultural appropriation, there. Almost enough to earn you a trick! But no, here you go. *A flick of his hand, and a cauldron flies over, some type of caramel sweet floating out and into your waiting hands. A second one flies over to the fake crow. Or- it was a fake crow too seconds ago, but now he lives and breathes. Philza grins at him. The candy tastes like laughter on a summer day and the spray of a waterfall. When you skip back, your feet barely tough the ground. You round the corner. The cottage isn't there when you look back.*

Mandatory Family Reunion!Philza: *Klaxons start going off. Bars slam down over the windows and doors. Helicopters whir overhead. The sound of sliding metal and thumps and steel toed boots. The doors burst open to find an out of breath Philza. Well maybe. A blanket has been thrown over head to make a very last minute ghost costume, and the draping doesn’t really hide the many many guns strapped to his body armor.* Haha trick or treat mate! Here yah go. *Philza hands over a full sized candy bar. You will be stalked for the next month*

Fault!Philza: *The chatter inside immediately dies the moment there's a knock on the door, almost fearfully so. A passing buzz of a bee, by your face, and an argument starts inside, raucous enough you can make out what sounds like a debate on murdering you. Uhhh...was this supposed to be a haunted house? Someone marches through the house...in the wrong direction, like they aren't familiar with the layout. Eventually the door is thrown open to a cool dragon costume. He's holding a very recently and messily carved turnip with an ember glowing inside.* And a happy Allhallows' eve to thee! Uh. Haha forgot to get candy or soul-cakes this year... *He hands you a napkin with a chunk of roasted squirrel and morsel of bread* That should be enough to appease the spirits of your loved ones. Good luck with the fairies!

The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On!Philza: Uhhhhh huh. You do realize this is a cult, right? *The man squints at you as if utterly baffled why you'd come to the dark forbidding temple well known for serving a god of Blood and Misery.* Very very evil cult. You should leave before you're sacrificed- TOMMY! *A young kid races past and Philza scoops up the wriggling giggling brat. Peeking around Phil, you find a gaggle of scruffy orphan kids racing after a giant wolf covered in bows* Evil dastardly cult. This squirt right here is the newest sacrifice to The Blood God. *Philza rolls his eyes as Tommy blows a raspberry at him, and gives up the ruse.* Look if I give you some altar offerings will you not tell anyone we're here? It's a lot easier if no one realizes we've disbanded the cult.

116 East Normal Street!Philza: *A man in authentic 2nd century BCE Chinese attire throws open the door and showers you with homemade candy the likes of which you've never even heard of before from so many cultures you can't keep track. There appears to be a party for introverts going on in the living room, and you are invited for tea.*

Worth far more than your weight in gold!Philza: *Lots of confused squawking. Like a LOT. The sonic force almost sends you flying off the cliff you scaled. Your ear drums are ringing. Out of the questioning words of his chicks, Philza pieces together an awful lot of questions about murdering you. Luckily he's calmed down, although is skewering you with a suspicious look and shoving all gold out of reach. Tommy gives you a slice of stolen berries with jam. Techno convinces Philza to fly you back down, and soon you are safely delivered to the ground. okay well the Ravengence is definitely doing a few fake out rolls and dive to scare the bejesus out of you, but you don't die.*

Lord, what fools these mortals be!!Philza: Ahh! A guest! How wonderful. You must be quite the powerful sorcerer! *The King of the Winter Court is an incredibly courteous host and provides a full feast of food you probably shouldn't eat. He is utterly and ridiculously convinced that you are a real witch, and blabbers on about spells and rituals that you somehow manage to bluster your way through a magically academic conversation, convincing him you're a magical genius in the process. You end up freezing to death sorry happens to the best of us. Honestly that's a good ending compared to what might've happened.*

Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home!Philza: *The door opens on a man leaning upon his cane. Philza nudges a giant fat pig, who grumbles upon the topic of festivals but showers upon you fruits and vegetables till your knees bow and buckel. Lo! What a bountinous blessing the gods hath bestowed! A bit of prompting and Technoblade boasts of how much work he accomplished that the earth would produce all it had to give.* It's a balance, mate. We must enjoy the fruits of our labor with celebration lest it be for naught.

A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself!Philza: *The old man welcomes you in. There is no choice. Forced into a comfy chair that you practically melt in. In time it becomes a refuge, some place soft to sink into as he fills you with warmth and food and relieves you of the burden of life. You come to the house more and more. The old man is always there, always kind, always welcoming. You come to the house more and more and more. Tired and worn out from the world outside, ache filling your bones, stiffening joints, greying hair. You talk of your woes to the young man, sinking into the chair once more, not quite able to recognize him. The dementia is getting to you. But he helps you around the house as it gets harder to walk, until at last one day he helps you sink into a comfy chair one last time. You never get up. The young man continues to talk kindly to your bones.*

The Lambs Wolves Wear!Philza: *His eyes dart nervously back inside. Someone walks up behind, and he slips out the door, firmly shutting it behind to block off the approacher. Philza shoves a lump of hardened maple syrup in your hands, closing your fingers around it, and firmly nudging you to leave. He's insistent that you leave. Please leave. Please.* You shouldn't wear that. People will only get hurt if they start looking for witches. That aren't there.

[joelsbeard]

Okay part 2 😈 to this ask! @joelsfavoritegirl

Okay we've already read how the two of you get butterfliesss when you guys are first crushing on each other, but i feel like even throughout your relationship things always manage to stay fresh and you both keep surprising each other, so basically your relationship never really loses its spark

Therefore you both still get butterflies about one another even years after getting together

Before your relationship started and also at the beginning of it, sometimes joel would get so nervous around you hehe and his palms would always get clammy 😭 poor joel lol

You know damn well in your talking stage and also right after you get together, joel is for sure tellin his homeboys all about you 😭 (in a respectful way of course, he's not going to embarrass you or anything)

He is down BAD for you, tommy (lol fuckin tommy) and all his friends never let him forget

He always gets warm fuzzy feelings around you because you are so sweet and kind and caring and he always asks himself how he managed to get with a girl like you 🥺

When you first started dating, this man was definitely gigglin and swingin his feet whenever you would respond to his texts HAHAHAH

This man would do ANYTHING for you, and he always goes the extra mile to make you feel special, I'm talking giving you spa nights (so sweet! I guess its only fair since you pamper him too with those little facials hehe), taking you on dates, cooking for you (simple foods), and being extra sweet to you on your period 🥺 getting you all your cravings and putting up with your mood swings (good practice for when he gets you pregnant with his babiesss 😈)

He ALWAYS brings you flowers!!! Joel Miller is a fucking romantic and I will die on that hill fr. Everytime i read in a fic where he brings you flowers i'm like that is so fucking joel miller coded. Even if it's not an elaborate bouquet (those are way to expensive anyways) he'll come home with a bouquet of daisies, carnations, hydrangeas, roses ofc hehe, baby's breath, lavender, you name it. He seems like a simple guy (in a good way, also aren't a lot of guys lol) so you don't need the fancy ones (maybe he gives you those on anniversaries or special events) but just the thought is always so sweet ❤️

Sometimes he'll make the bouquets himself 🥺 he'll get 2-3 varieties from the grocery store and learns to cut and arrange and wrap them himself 🥺 and those are your favorites. You always make sure to give him head every time he does lol he deserves it 🙈

Your natural scent, the smell of your perfumes, soaps, shampoos, detergents, and lotions all bring him to his goddamn knees!!! He be gettin horny fr when you walk by him and he gets a whiff of you LMAOO.

You guys tell each other EVERYTHING and it doesn't take long once you start dating to become very close, and you're very comfortable with basically anything with each other.

I heard of this thing where if you and your partner feel very comfortable, safe, and secure around each other, you tend to feel sleepy and relaxed when you're in each other's presence, and especially bc joel works a hard ass job, i feel like he loves coming home to you and just melting and laying on you and he can feel the tension and stress just leave his body as soon as he walks in the door.

Now bc I want to minimize my pookie's suffering lol, I imagine that bc in this AU he's not a single dad, you both work so for a while you have dual income, and once sarah comes you take a break but eventually do a part time job or something just to help out with expenses so joelie doesn't have to work so hard 🥺

This is such a cute headcanon, but basically whenever he's having an especially hard day he'll look at his phone lockscreen of you two to remind him what's waiting for him at home ❤️ he also reads and keeps all of the notes you leave in his lunch boxes lol

Joel Miller is a DEVOTED and WHIPPED ass man for his girl, he worships the ground you walk on especially once you have his babies hehe 🙈 he's like thats MY GIRL, my BABY MAMA, the MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN, the LIGHT OF MY LIFE AND REASON FOR BEING!!!

Everybody wishes they had a joel miller smh, people look at you guys and they're like 🥺 "wish i had a partner as devoted as he/she is" bc you are equally as whipped for this fine ass man and you cannot WAIT to have his babies

^ biological instincts going brrrr fr when you see that man, you can feel your ovaries crying

And he wants to put his babies in you so bad!!!

Even the sound of your voice gets him fuckin horny, he'll pick you up from work or school sometimes (maybe you plan on getting your associates degree) and he'll catch you talking to a coworker or a classmate and he looks at you like 😍 he's just SO in love you with and you look like an angel to him. He's the type of guy to be looking at you when you say "isn't the view so beautiful" and he's like "yes it is" and you turn and see him looking at you like 😍 and it makes you want to cry

Just like the feeling you get when he calls you "sweet girl", he fr be getting butterflies in his stomach and bootyhole LMAO when you call him "sweet man" 🥺 especially when you hold his face in your hands or stroke his beard when you say it

Your body drives him nuts too ;) he can't get enough of you, yes he's always grabbing/smacking your ass or squeezing your tiddies lol...men

Whenever he talks about you to other people they can see him just LIGHT UP, and he almost is glowing whenever he even thinks of you, or when people bring you up to him :) Like think Peeta Mellark (my first ever fictional love lol Peeta the man that you are!!! 😩 other boys wish they were you!!!) obsessed and in love with you

Jesus christ why do i always get carried away with these lol I CAN'T HELP IT JOEL MILLER IS JUST TOO HOT

[vanmarkus]

A "who's marisol" moment from ravi would be soo funny especially considering his awkward introduction to ana... and not even bobby hearing about "that woman" from eddie. It's like on gilmore girls when everyone including rory forgot about her boyfriend lol who's paul

lmaoo yeah I really hope they go for it 🤭 poor Ravi is always caught in the middle of their relationship issues, with Ana, with Tommy even... he just turns up all pretty and confused hehe

I'd also love for Ravi to actually talk to her, like the secondhand embarrassment would be rough, but I'd die seeing him actually call Marisol the babysitter or something along those lines, just for her to get all upset and Ravi being confused because well, isn't she?

[eddiegettingshot]

the speedrunning of certain arcs this season is certainly an issue (and I'm willing to give benefit of the doubt on this one based on strikes, shortened seasons and the cruise plot taking up like 40% of their resources probably). but I dont necessarily mind them "speedrunning" the bi buck story like the set up was poor for sure but I dont mind the approach of "btw he likes boys too" especially in the context of an ensemble show with so few episodes and also I certainly prefer it to a story that would have made buck a more central focus of this season. I think the issue here is more they speedran bucktommy to the point where Im just like ?? how am I supposed to feel about separate from bi buck. the set up for the first kiss was poor and since then theyve been dating for a month maybe but also he was buck's date to his sisters wedding but also the narrative suggests tommy and buck probably wont last so ??? and really I just want buck to have a bit of romantic development past "im not dating people from calls" (which they didnt even flesh out why dating people from calls is problematic and i think it would be really fun for them to explore how meeting someone on a call can lead to them developing a hero complex about you and sets unfair expectations on a relationship) and "im bi" but to this point they've failed to develop bucktommy to a point where I feel like buck will learn anything from it besides that. I'm willing to wait until the end of the season to see where that ends up but as far as I'm concerned now the only reason tommy is more interesting than marisol is because of how theyre constantly framing the bucktommy narrative around eddie and lou is actually a semi likeable person 😂 also even if this season clearly isnt thoroughly planned out, if it is to get the characters to a starting point for s8 I'm willing to be optimistic then because I think tim has shown with proper planning he can execute really thorough character arcs with satisfying conclusions (maddie and eddie in s2, buck in s4, a lot of the s1 arcs)

(okay now that Ive all typed that Im actually thinking how a really interesting angle for them to take on bucktommy would be to focus on the idealized version of tommy that buck had a crush on (hes so cool / flew them into a hurricane to save their family) and how that + first guy hes dated probably set unfair expectations on their relationship that arent met in reality (and then coming to the conclusion they should break up). basically Im asking 911 to please have buck reflect on his romanticization of his own relationships/love interests. also sorry to buck tommy spec in your inbox Im just waiting for this relationship to be a tiny bit relevant lmaoo)

ok so actually yeah you're so right about how speedrunning bi buck is fine - i think for me it's that in my head the bi buck thing and the bucktommy thing are like, completely entwined in my head so i'm kind of having a hard time separating the speedrun of buck realizing he likes men from buck falling into a relationship with a man. so yes i don't think the realization necessarily needed more but (as always lol) it comes back down to me expecting more out of buck and tommy specifically especially considering the emphasis on how tommy's going to help him like... disentangle his New Identity. which is clearly not happening lmao.

but yes i actually 100% agree with your bucktommy spec actually and as much as i resent buck's cycle of self-improving through various relationships i do think that would be VERY interesting for buck to start thinking about. well. all the things he needs to think about

[lilywastaken]

chapter 5 was AMAZING!!!! thank you for blessing us with this perfection so soon!!! (also btw as much as i loved reading them getting steamy all i could think about was poor little tommy sleeping like 3 meters from them lmaooo)

Yeah 😭😭 but I think it's quite normal for parents to do stuff like that with a baby in the room but don't worry when they really do get it on Tommy's going to be in his nursery LMAOO

[peakyswritings]

Ohh Brummie, this was amazing!

First of all, I love the back and forth between (Y/n) and Tommy, and the way they continuously challenge each other. They’re way more similar than they think! The humour was so on point, I swear I was giggling through most of the chapter - except for when that piece of shit Cal was there. He’s horrible and I truly hope things will take a turn for the worst for him. Three seconds of his presence and I already want to blow his filthy hands up, so he’d better keep them to himself. I adored how you juxtaposed Tommy’s gentle touches and Cal’s hard ones.

Anyway, as for Tommy and (Y/n), I enjoyed their moments of truce so much. It’s a pity they had to get literally hurt before they decided it was time to put a stop (but something tells me not an end) to their bickering like children. Anyway, am I tripping or is Tommy smiling and laugh in more than usual since he met a certain someone??

Taking a step back, I should’ve expected Tommy doing something about the piano lmaoo

words stumped you as you turned your head to see your once glossy piano now in a piled heap of wood in the middle of the room. The hatchet used for its barbaric destruction embedded at the very point of its woody mountain.

Ohh I shouldn’t be laughing right now. Poor Mr Abbott, all his efforts to make that piano just for it to end up like this.

"Just so you're aware, Mr Shelby. I happen to play the violin too" […] "And poorly"

Have I already said that I love her?

I also love Frances and (Y/n)’s relationship. They seem so fond of one another, and Frances has such a motherly aura to her. I wonder how much she knows about what’s really happening with Cal.

The horse scene was so funny, I loved to see Tommy being humbled lmao. And again, together with the toe-stabbing, it made them reach truce, so I guess it was much needed!

Again, the juxtaposition between Tommy and Cal was perfection. They’re both bad for different reasons, but whilst Cal is inherently bad, Tommy still has his morals and his own sense of justice, and there are lines he won’t cross. And that’s the proof that status doesn’t mean anything. He, as a gangster, is way better than Cal, whose only noble thing is his title and nothing more. Tommy wanting to show the upper-class men their true colours felt so in character. We’ve seen him in the show struggling with the barriers separating the classes, which he can’t overcome no matter how much money he makes, and you have been so wonderful in representing that!

Also, this:

Murder, theft, prostitution, gambling. Tommy did not only live a life in the dark shadows your fiance and brother would visit for entertainment. He was the maker of it.

I literally don’t know how to explain how or why I loved this part so much, but I did, so just trust my word.

This chapter was so so beautiful!

MASTERLIST PREVIOUS PART

Uptown Girl (Part Two)

Summary: As the war of words, and destruction of inanimate objects continues between you and the blue eyed squatter in your home, Mr Thomas Shelby. You are pulled back into reality from the distraction of his presence and quickly reminded of your impending, dreaded nuptials when your fiance pays you a visit. But with the Birmingham gangsters observing eyes never missing a thing. What will he make of your husband to be's unruly hand when he sees the true nature of your relationship, and that of the man you're set to marry?

Warnings: Language, angst, manipulation, domestic violence, use of one racial slur

Word Count: 4332

Authors Note: £17,000 British sterling pound in 1924, is worth £850,000 in todays value.

" Thank you for coming on such short notice, Mr Abbott" you graciously greeted the piano tuner as you walked him to the main living area, crossing your arms in an attempt to put a stop to your fidgeting hands, and the relentless twiddling of your anxious fingers. How on earth were you going to explain this one? you smiled nervously to the portly man sporting an impressive moustache. It's perfectly curled, whiskery ends reaching the very tops of his wind-chapped cheeks.

After the previous days' eventful morning and a much warranted reminder that you were in fact, living with a gun-welding gangster. Tommy, your unwelcome housemate, single handedly took it upon himself to move your bullet-ridden grand piano into the living room and away from the vicinity of his quarters and ringing ears.

And with one morning of your musical skills having been missed, you were keen to reset the alarm for the following day. Or so, that's what you thought.

" What seems to be the problem then, Miss?" the man that had once sold you the precious musical instrument queried. His passion for his craft rarely seeing him leave his workshop where he preferred the sound of the ivory keys more than any human voice.

" Oh, just a small one" you replied, pushing the wooden door open. "A missing key" you found a way around to describe the charred bullet hole in the non existent note of B. B for bastard, you thought to yourself and the vandal that had destroyed it as your brow furrowed in confusion at the renowned craftsman who was now wide-eyed as you both stepped into the room.

"Oh, well this...this..." words stumped you as you turned your head to see your once glossy piano now in a piled heap of wood in the middle of the room. The hatchet used for it's barbaric destruction embedded at the very point of its woody mountain.

" Excuse me, for just, one moment" you forced a smile through the fury rapidly bubbling under your skin as you quickly turned on your heel, leaving the horrified pianist alone with the piano he had poured his love, sweat and tears into crafting as he pitifully pressed his finger down onto the only remaining chiming key of C. C for...

"Mr Shelby!" you shouted marching through the corridors in search of the only person capable of committing such a monstrosity as you came to a stop in front of the office door. Your learnt manners quickly escaping you when you stormed through without the polite formalities a lady such as yourself would possess, having had a governess for the majority of your childhood years.

"Mr Shelby!" You repeated, flying pass the opening door to see the squatters sleeves rolled up, a peak of chest hair visible through the open top button of his collared shirt your flustered stare had witnessed twice in already twenty-four hours. Hardly gentlemanly, you scoffed to yourself as your heated cheeks darted away from his causal choice of attire.

" On the mantel", Tommy said mid conversation, looking up from the papers between his fingers to the young worker with a brassy ornament in his hand.

"Mr..."

" No Beethoven this morning, eh?" He stopped you as he leant back into his leather chair with a satisfied smirk etched on his lips as you strutted forward, and the young employee made a swift exit. "Or maybe some, Mozart?" His lips tightened into a smile as he subtly cocked his head to the side, reaching for a much needed drag of a cigarette the stress of your presence gave him.

" What is all this?" you looked around the room, forgetting your barrage of accusations when your eyes widened at the many various objects he had added to your father's office to replace the ones you had hoarded.

" Oh, no, no, no. This won't do, this won't do one bit!" you said in horror, piling them into your arms whilst you made your way around the room as Tommy's scrunched brow followed you until you came to a stop in front of him. " This is my office you've just come in and commandeered. And my piano, you..."

" I think you mean my piano. In my living room. In my house, no?" Tommy corrected you as he lit a cigarette, his squinting eyes skimming over your figure hugging dress. You weren't exactly making it easy for him to look away. To ignore your bossy presence, he thought to himself as his blue-eyed stare lingered longer than intended before he snapped himself away from his wandering eyes and stood up, adjusting his tailored waistcoat.

" Look, we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot" he said, playing the peace maker in attempt to replace the ferocious frown boring into him.

"The wrong foot?" You scoffed, shaking your head as he perched himself casually on the edge of the oak desk in front of you, the playful glint in his eyes toying with you through the cloud of smoke seeping from the rolled cylinder of tobacco between his fingers. " We got off on the wrong foot, the moment your foot stepped into my house and you shot, then destroyed my piano"

" Right. So those early wake up calls weren't to piss me off then? Drive me out, eh?" he cocked a brow as his tongue ran across his bottom lip, the slappable smile now teasingly glaring back at you, further irritating you.

"I...I"

"Yes, Y/N?" His brows raised, waiting for the smart response he knew your brain was trying to scramble together as he continued to keep you on a first name basis.

" I..." You stopped yourself, before you blurted something you would later berate your flustered brain for saying.

"Just so you're aware, Mr Shelby. I happen to play the violin too" you said as you wittiness finally caught up with the anger demanding all the free space in your head. "And poorly" you finished, stealing the smugness sitting on his teasing smirk as you quirked a brow. His widening eyes coming to the quick realisation that if he was going to get even an ounce of sleep to fill his notorious lack in slumber, there would need to be an urgent manhunt for the destruction of every musical instrument you possessed.

" Have at it, love" Tommy's heavy footing stomped after you as you turned for the door, his casual response hiding the protruding bone of irritation in his clenching jaw. " Last bit of fun until you're sent off to marry, eh?" He delivered the damning reminder of your predicament hot on your heels as your head snapped back to see him stood directly behind you, watching your satisfied smile drain.

" Cal Astor, no?" Tommy pointed to you, his cigarette resting loosely between the callous pads of his fingers. He'd been looking into you, gathering information, your mind urgently tried to weigh out how much he had learnt of your dire situation as your sharp glare met his. " One of the top ten richest men in the country. What a catch" he slipped the attained details of your fiance's status to you with a smirk.

" Tell me, Y/N. Why would a young lady such as yourself, weeks from marrying into one of the wealthiest families in the country care so much for bricks and mortar? " He questioned, blowing a cloud of smoke into the room as his interrogating stare bore into you while you stood momentarily lost for words once again.

"Oh, Sissy?" your brothers irritating pet name called to you from the foyer as a palpable silence settled in the room, pressuring one of you to make the first move.

" You have a guest, love" Tommy's gravelly voice broke the tension as he raised his brows, his challenging glare undisrupted from your brothers bellowing voice.

In a dramatic display of discontent for not only the way he had intruded into your home, but also, the details of your private life he had infringed on. You purposely released the items in your arms to the floor, when the sharp end of an ugly ornament stabbed you in the toe in the process, eclipsing your unfaltering stance to not have the stranger in front of you win another battle in the war he had declared.

Stifling the whelping pain now throbbing through your foot, Tommy waited and watched with curiosity. Thoroughly impressed that the lady in front of him, born with heirs and graces, had gone so long without a mere whimper, or foul-mouthed word. Was you really that bloody stubborn?

Holding in your impending scream, you swiftly turned your back and made your way out the door. Hobbling to the nearest wall, a stroppy, frustrated, grunt of pain left your lips while you lifted your throbbing foot, clutching your toe in pain as Tommy breathed out a heavy sigh and fell into the leather upholstered chair behind the wall next to you. How long would you both keep this up until you came to a solution? And how many toes, ornaments and any other inanimate object would be sacrificed in the process?

" Ahh there she is. My dear, sister" Johnathan greeted you as you walked forward through the bruising pain you had unintentionally inflicted on yourself.

" How's the houseguest?"

" Trespasser, Johnathan" you corrected him as you winced from one foot to the other, trying to ease the pressure of your swelling toe.

" Blimey, that bad?" he chuckled resting his heavy arm over your shoulders, forcing you back on to two feet with a shudder of pain. " Don't fret baby sister, church bells will be ringing soon. Then you'll be rid of this gloomy dump!" he said, squeezing you into him with a rough pat to your arm.

"Aha! Speaking of the husband to be" Johnathan said letting go as you looked up at the smartly polished dress shoes walking your way. Your stomach dropping at the sound of his voice beckoning closer.

" Darling" a voice broke through your brother's chatter as your fiance snaked his hand around your waist, leaning into your cheek.

" Cal" you meekly voiced as you turned your head away from him, earning you a scornful glare and a sharp squeeze to your hip.

"Playing hard to get are we?" Cal scoffed a laugh through his pearly whites, the insult of you refusing his affection in front of company further angering him and his tightening grasp that had become prone to landing blows to your delicate skin.

" You won't see my sister give in that easily, Cal" Johnathan laughed through the cigar between his teeth, oblivious as per usual to the true nature of his friend and acquaintance he had latched on to. Or rather, money he had latched on to.

"Indeed" Cal looked down at you with a smirk, having already had his way with you.

A moment of fear, of weakness. You told yourself when you had given into his forceful demands as he hitched up your dress whilst his heavy frame climbed on top of you.

Coerced, guilted, or even a last plea of naive hope on your part to have him finally let you be if you gave him what he wanted, you'd tell yourself in moments of reflection and sorrow for the part of yourself you lost that night when you dulled his predatory insistence with whatever drink you could find. Was that why you gave him so much power? Because he was your first intimate, and now tainted experience?

" Frances, one moment!" Johnathan called, jogging after your housekeeper as he watched her hurry away from your brother's long list of demands she knew she'd be dumped with if she didn't make a quick escape.

" You disappoint me Y/N" your fiance abruptly turned you to face him, now alone together, and away from observing eyes. " Was quite the surprise when I sent a car for you the other night and it returned, empty. My fiance, missing" he said as you tried to leave when his strong grip came down on your arm, bruising through your skin. "You're not going to go missing again are you, darling?" his irritation was felt through the sarcasm laced in his words.

Too many times had you avoided his invitations, had you purposely found yourself out of town when his presence increased with the death of your father and the rules of courting he had imposed to keep any premarital scandals at bay. The only rule your father had ever implemented in your life that you were thankful for.

" No" you shook your head, your strong character once again unable to stand up to the man you had unwillingly passed so much control of your words and actions over to.

" Good girl" he chided, a satisfied smirk growing on his lips closing in on yours as you flinched at his pressing hold around your reddened wrists, forcing you to endure his embrace.

" Johnathan, the car" he smiled breaking away, releasing you from his grip as he called for your brother who childishly waited on his every word.

Stood alone in the foyer, rubbing the taste of him from your swollen lips, the bruising soreness from your bluing skin, you watched as your brother entertained the man you had become to loathe, when your tearful eyes turned to see Tommy stood between the frame of the office door, having witnessed the most vulnerable part of your existence you had shamefully hidden away.

For be it poor or rich. A woman's woes in the time you lived in were always unheard, always played down to an inaudible silence. And Tommy was no fool to think otherwise, as he too stood silently watching you walk away without a word.

Sat in the bay window of your room later that morning, you smiled as you watched the stable hand pat down your mare's dusty coat, giving her the pampering she deserved.

"Your tea, Miss" Frances announced as she walked through the door with a silver platter of England's finest, freshly brewed. " Good heavens! What ever happened to your foot?" She said upon seeing your expanding toe precariously resting on a stack of cushions and books. 

" Mr Shelby" you said as your eyes narrowed in on the trespasser now approaching your thoroughbred down in the courtyard.

" Mr Shelby did this?" Frances' eyes widened upon hearing your accusations as she examined your lack of care for your swelling digit doubling in size.

" No, Mr Shelby's ghastly ornament did that" you said briefly looking at your propped-up foot before your attention returned to outside. " What on earth is he doing?" You curiously observed the squatter, his presence a welcome distraction to your impending nuptials and crippling worries. Not that you would admit it, of course.

" Oh my" Frances's hand flew to her chest as she watched the bridle being adjusted to your saddleless horse. " I should go warn him" Frances turned to leave when you hoped up with a giddy smile as you searched for the shoe you would force to fit around your ballooning foot.

" No, no" you gently rested your hand on your housekeeper's arm, stopping her from sabotaging your fun. " Let him find out himself" you grinned as you limped to the door, leaving Frances shaking her head disapprovingly at the woman she had cared for since she was a rosy-cheeked baby, toddling from one foot to the other.

Stood by the stable door, you curiously watched as Tommy whispered words of gentle reassurance to your horse, brushing his hand down her muzzle as your steps apprehensively approached closer, unsure if the topic of conversation would be your finances heavy hand he saw earlier that day, you wished not to discuss.

" How's your toe?" Tommy asked, his cigarette resting loosely between his lips as he turned to face you with an emerging smile dimpling the corners of his eyes.

" My toe? Good as new" you lied, badly, as you crossed your arms at the amusing chuckle leaving your unwanted guests' lips." You should saddle her" you warned him as you watched him lead her towards you, secretly hoping he would continue his refusal to listen to your bossy demands.

" Was born riding, love. Think I can handle her" he confidently proclaimed as he shot you a wink. " Come on, steady now" he patted her side as you followed behind them, eager to see him unceremoniously take a blow to his insufferable cockyness.

" What's her name?" He asked as he lifted himself up, adjusting the reigns in his hands to his liking.

" Nelly" you said as you leant back on the wooden fencing of the small paddock, taking the weight of your throbbing foot you had shoved into the soles of your tightly laced boots.

" Nelly, eh?" Tommy quietly mumbled clearing his throat, suddenly doubting his riding skills as he looked down at the jittery creature bouncing from hoof to hoof. " Steady, girl" he managed to control her erratic movements as he pulled back the reigns with a gentle pressure. " Don't show me up, Nell. I'll never hear the end of it" he quietly whispered to your horse with a pat to her neck as you watched on with amusement.

" See, we're doing alright. Aren't we Nelly?" Tommy called out to both you and your horse as he trotted along the muddied ground. " She just needs some firm guidance, is all" he said as he passed by your rolling eyes. " With a horse like..." Tommy continued his unsolicited advice when a freckled orange and black butterfly passed in front of him, causing Nelly to rear up in fear before throwing him off and bolting away.

" Shit" Tommy huffed at the sound of your approaching hysterics as he lay in the mud, his ego having been embarrassingly taken down a few notches off it's high pedestal.

" Am I in hell?" he opened one eye to see your smirking face looming over him with your hand out for him to take, when your smile turned to a scowl and you let him drop to the ground once again. " No, still alive" he grunted as he pulled his body and throbbing head back up, resting his arms on his bent knees as he watched your horse trot towards you. " Her name wouldn't happen to stand for nervous Nelly, would it?" Tommy looked up at you both as he watched you nuzzle your head against her neck, her thumping heart slowly settling with your tender touch.

" Nervous Nelly, notorious Nelly. Even nutty Nelly at one point. My girl has earned herself quite a collection of nicknames, haven't you, darling" you said as you cupped your hand under her muzzle, letting her lick the saltiness of your palms.

" Here" you said, putting your free hand out for him to take. " Are you hurt?" You asked as you both hobbled out of the paddock back to the stables. Both a sight of giggling fits for the staff of Arrow House looking from behind the twitching curtains of your shared home.

" No more than your toe is" he smiled down at you as you walked beside each other, free of any bellowing voices or snide remarks for the first time in almost a week, having both taken a dramatic blow to your obnoxious stubbornness.

" Mr Shelby" you turned to face him as you gave the reigns to your stable hand. " How much did my father owe you?" You took the opportunity to ask the question that had been nagging you in your brief truce before the battle of words recommenced.

" £17,000" Tommy exhaled as he looked at you from the corners of his eyes, a feeling of pity for you and the burden your father had selfishly lumbered you with stopping him from making any smart remark.

With a future of little prospects, other than that of a high-society marriage, every woman such as yourself was destined for. Tommy had come to the knowledge that your father had secured your life by marrying you off into wealth rather than leaving you with his fortune to pave your own way in life.

As your eyes widened and the learnt details of your fathers debt and how big of a whole he had dug in his wake. A guttural feeling of dread weighed down your stomach at the large sum of money your father owed, nearly exceeding that of Arrow Houses' value.

" I will pay you back, Mr Shelby" you said as you looked back to your home and it's surrounding land. Suddenly feeling you had nothing else to offer other than your word.

"Look, Y/N..."

" I will find a way, Mr Shelby" you made a pledge you knew would be near impossible to uphold if the deeds to your house had indeed, no standing.

With a small nod of his head, Tommy gazed down at you as a brief moment of peace captured him in the silent breeze of summer blowing a lock of hair drifting across your cheek, glittering with the welcome rays of the midday sun. A silence you both welcomed in the neutral grounds of no man's land until the sound of your brother hurtling down the drive, car horn blaring, deafened your ears.

" Sister! I won it! I bloody won it! " Your brother laughed maniacally, high on his win with a wad of cash in his hands, having spent the entire morning in the casinos with your fiance.

" God's sake" you felt the embarrassment of your brother's presence as your eyes darted to Tommy undoubtedly judging your renowned noble name, questioning how a family such of your selves came to inherit it as you watched him ignite a cigarette behind the orangery glow of the flame.

" Sweet pea" Cal's voice approached you as you shifted away, stumbling into Tommy as you did. " Sorry" you apologised, tucking a rebel hair behind your ear with your flustered fingers as he steadied your fall with a gentle hand to your back, a touch foreign to you with the heavy strikes you had become accustomed to from the opposite sex.

"Cal, Mr Thomas Shelby. Mr Shelby, Earl Cal Astor" you introduced the two men as you stood in the middle, looking between their glaring stares as you subtly shrugged of your fiances hand on your arm in the process.

"Pleasure" Cal greeted him with a belittling tone of superiority with his hand out as Tommy's hovered momentarily in the empty space between them before lifting it to take a smoke. Only a mere nod of his head in acknowledgment of his presence.

Murder, theft, prostitution, gambling. Tommy did not only live a life in the dark shadows your fiance and brother would visit for entertainment. He was the maker of it. The master puppet to the riches seedy side of life he and his men would adorn with gold-collumed bars, and live jazz music to have them fill his pockets. He had met a dozen men like your fiance. Each a replica of the other. Each of them in the privacy of their home with wives, lovers and maids accustomed to feeling the back of their hand when money didn't get them what they felt they were owed.

There were many things Tommy's wavering moral compass didn't stand for. And have no doubt, he had seen the bruises on your wrists, the tears unspent in your eyes you hid as you hurried away earlier that morning.

"Excuse me. I have a business call" your unexpected houseguest said as he threw his cigarette to the ground, inches from the perfectly kept shoes of your fiance.

" Shelby!" he called with a mocking chuckle, angered by the blow of disrespect he'd been shown. " Perhaps you would grace us with your presence at our engagement ball next week. Then you can find the time away from your pressing business matters for us to get to know the Small Heath gypsy boy living with my soon to be wife" he tauntingly finished with his nose up, lifting the heavy gold signet ring of his family's crest to your lower back you had already felt on numerous occasions, the sharp end of.

Coming to a stop at the steps of Arrow House, you watched the notorious gangster with his hands seated in his trouser pockets as his back stayed turned to you, whilst you silently prayed he would refuse the invitation and childish game of belittling any class below him you knew your fiance was set on making a spectacle out of in sheer spite. A game you were not willing to play.

" Next week it is, Mr Astor" Tommy's low rumbling voice replied, never ceasing the opportunity to further his endeavor as his strong statue disappeared into the darkened foyer and the door shut behind him.

A potential for business, or rather a show of power to the man that had insulted his heritage so freely with one single disdained word used to rile him up and have him show his business acquaintances the true colours of the leader to the notorious cut-throat gang he had kept from their lives until any encouraging reminder was needed. For they were no better than him. Criminals with the most unsavory of dealings. And you had better believe, Tommy had no qualms being the one to show these men their own true colours, and the reminder that they were no different to any small-time thief from Small Heath with only a title of nobility slapped on the end of their name seperating them. No qualms at all.

NEXT PART

Tag list: @weaponizedvirtue @un-interneted @mama-ivy @kmc1989 @leighla3

@emotionalcadaver @mamawiggers1980 @sweetcheesecakesblog @cljordan-imperium @peakyswritings

@tiedyedghoulette

[nobodywritingao3]

I would scream if you added vore into how to be a human being /pos (even just as a tumblr sidestory idk /nf)

ALSO IT TOOK ME THE LONGEST TIME TO READ THE MOST RECENT TWO CHAPTERS SOBS, BUT THEY WERE SO GOOD !!!! (Tommy do be going absolutely through it though =(( poor lad)

fajalskfjsdalkfja

thank you lmaoo <3 <3 <3

i think the latest chapter has been the best one yet and im reallly proud of it so im glad you enjoyed it!!!

the more i think about it the more id like to so he he he he yeah i think itll happen :3

[voidless-screaming]

Ace race vampires went from kind and supportive, to condescending, to making threats to Quackity’s family  

Save quackity

[thinkingofsimpyboisinc]

tall darling taking simpza in they arms and saying "I love you little bird, stop being attacked by monsters" and kiss his cheek and will do the same with the other simpy bois.

reader probably has no idea they are yanderes because for them simpy bois are just puppies that have been through horrible things, god simpinnit, simpbur and simpnoblade have been in wars and the reader needs to tell simpza that they love him , clearly the reader is like "oh my god what have they done to you???"

I like to imagine that darling met simpinnit by accident when they saw that he lived in a dirt house, The darling's parent mode automatically kicked in and automatically were already holding simpinnit in their arms and taking him home to take care of him, and probably simpinnit that was already eyeing reader was like "🥺" "Dream hurt me :,("

simpbur probably met darling because of simpinnit that was taking them to meet L'Manburg and when simpbur saw them and was clearly trying to draw the reader's attention to him, the reader just sighs and takes them both in their arms (because 8'9 giant ) and said "ok ok I'm both now let me take care of you yes?"

simpza probably only knows the reader because simpbur keeps talking about them, and when he goes to L'Manburg to meet that person he simply joins his son in agreeing that reader is an angel, meanwhile reader just spoils simpza with the his favorite foods and cuddling him because in their minds they're thinking "oh he's a kitten, well I think I better get him to come live with me just like these two puppies :D"

and contrary to what everyone probably believes, simpnoblade is the easiest to go with the reader because he has probably never been spoiled in his life, and suddenly darling arrives and fills him with affection and pampering, and God! they take care of his bruises, keep him fed, full of affection, and give him greek mythology books!

meanwhile reader builds a house enough for them and the simpy boys, and all of a sudden reader walks up to the four and says "hey do you want to come live with me? i built a house to fit all of us 5 :D"

-🧃

WAIT I LOVE THIS-

tall darling sees that simpinnit lives in a dirt house, so they just kidnap him lmaoo.

or tall darling meeting simpinnit while he was coming back from the fight with dream (like when wilbur was going to meet and compromise with dream, but tommy came along and got into a shoot out with dream over his discs) hes sad about not getting his discs back and the parental darling sees him all sad and mopey and theyre just like "im gonna fucking murder whoever hurt this poor child" so tall parental darling just swoops in like "who hurt? do you need me to fight someone?? ill you protect you, hun."

i would also like to propose simpinnit going to parental darling when tubbo "replaces" him with ranboo and hes all teary eyed like "tubbo ditched me and doesnt wanna be friends anymore ;((" so parental darling just makes him a cake and babys him for the rest of the week.

parental darling knocking warden sam out after tommys and ghostburs deaths.

onto simpbur, i like to think the darling met him while he was still president. they met in the small time period between when l'manberg got temporary freedom and before the election. if the darling is platonic, their all like "look at you! strong boi protecting his country!! good job :D" however, if the darling is romantic, simpbur is gonna brag. hell brag about whatever he can. see? he's strong enough to take care of a family! so have his children!!

darling ignoring philza for awhile after he kills simpbur.

about simpza, if its romantic, he would immediately try to seem like the best father ever. again, he wants you to have his children. if its platonic, simpza wants to protect you alot and wants to prove that he is the best father figure for you and you should just call him dad already!

getting in an argument with simpza and simpnoblade after doomsday. lets be honest, they had no good reason to be that childish.

onto simpnoblade, id like to think you met when tommy was hiding at his house. simpinnit made you aware of where he was, and you go visit him to make sure hes safe. simpnoblade is just amazed by everything about the darling and he super quiet and flustered, regardless of it is platonic or romantic.

[annasinterests]

MAC DADDY BACK AT IT AGAIN!

THIS TIME FOR HALLOWEEN!

anna-tations below ;)

i too would pester joel miller and weasel my way into his life

tommy captain of the football team!!!!!! it's canon idc

omg reader imagining him at the worksite??? put me on a leash because i be BARKING bruh

"joel and nessa don't get along" OF COURSE THEY DON'T. and i love that dynamic LOL

"Princess" HEHEHE 🤭🤭🤭🤭

OMG LIL RED AND THE BIG BAD WOLF YUHHHHH I KNOW THATS RIGHT BAYBEEEEEEE

dr. pepper gals rise UP (i have a 12 pack in my fridge rn no joke)

jo in the friend zone 😔😔

"He sits on its shitty throne next to the guy who says 'Where's my hug?'" LMAOO I REMEMBER THIS FROM THE SNIPPET

ARIZONA TEA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

poor luigi man

HIS HAND COVERING THE TOP. A REAL MAN.

wait princess peach's outfit seems fire asf. inspo for next year

"He's there and everyone else is just an obstacle." POETRYYYYYYYYYY

THE WET PENNIES INSULT LMFAOOOOOO

joel making the first move!!!!!! i love him that's my man right there

i thought it was gon get spoicy and then BAM ofc nessa and theo gotta cockblock like that 🙄🙄

mac!!!!!! i love your contribution to the halloweenie season, and i do hope you make installments to it like we talked about!!!! again i'm so proud of you for sharing your work even if you didn't like it, because i LOVE it ❤️ i really love this concept of college!reader and contractor!joel in their youth— they're awkward and dorky but sweet and smitten for one another. i also love friends to lovers, so the fact that they're childhood friends to lovers is *chef's kiss*

Lovers Rock (A Halloween Special)

pairing: Joel Miller x College!f!reader

word count: 4k

summary: Joel's been your best friend since 6th grade. He graduated with you, but when you went to school, he joined his fathers contracting company. When your roommate invites you to a frat party for Halloween, hoping to set you up with her boyfriends friend, you drag Joel along.

warnings: underage drinking, college parties, Joel is 20, reader is 18 (Joel was held back for kindergarten), frat boys, kissing, reader is a virgin, mutual pining, oblivious reader, not edited 😵‍💫

a/n: ok y’all, I’m not very happy with how this turned out, but I really like the idea I had so yk fuck it and ball. I just needed some mutual pining yk? I’m hoping to make multiple installments of this story but I’m not promising anything! Anyways enjoy even though there only a few hours left of Halloween:)

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

When Nessa proposed she wanted to set you up with her boyfriends frat mate, you didn’t know what to expect. All you knew was that she was desperate to help you loose your virginity.

So, after a couple days of convincing, you give in. But not before calling your best friend to drag him along. You call Joel immediately after Nessa tells you about the party. He had been your best friend since 6th grade. You met him in math class and after pestering him for a piece of gum. When he finally gave in, you continued to pester him until you completely weaseled your way into his life. And since then, you had been inseparable.

You and Joel had watched each other go through countless crushes and relationships, but nothing stuck for either of you. Joel was a little more proactive, and had done a lot more than you had ever done. Including losing his virginity. But, you promised each other to keep each other in the loop. So here you are, last minute on the Wednesday before the party, waiting for him to pick up as the phone rings.

    "Jo, hey." You say quickly after he picks up.

    "What's up, Buttercup?" He says, panting slightly.

    "You good?"

   "Yeah, sorry, I'm just at the job sight." He says, trying to catch his breath.

    "Still? It's 7?" You frown, looking at the alarm on your desk.

    "Yeah, Dad's got us cleaning and shit." He sighs, "so what's up?"

    "Oh, yeah. Right." You laugh, "What are your plans Friday night?"

    "Tommy's got a football game, but I can get out of it if you wanted to do something." He answers.

     "There's a party. A Halloween party." You say, flipping a page of your textbook and start writing.

     "Oh, y'know I'm not really into that kinda shit." He says. You can picture the little scowl he unintentionally does.

      "Please? For me?" You whine.

      "Why do you want me to go so bad, college?" He chuckled. You can imagine him standing at the job sight. Breathing heavy in his work pants and neon orange t-shirt. He'd be panting slightly, beads of sweat running down his forehead, curls messy and hands dirty from a tough day at work. His biceps bulging in the t-shirt and his thighs tight against the fabric of his pants.

      "Nessa is trying to set me up with one of the football guys, I need my bodyguard just in case things get rocky." You says, the eraser of your pencil pressing against your lip as you read and talk,

      "Nessa? Your roommate?" He asks. Joel and Nessa don't get along.

      "Please, Jo." You drag out his nickname.

      "I don't wear costumes." He says flatly.

      "What if i buy you one?" You propose.

      "You're not spending money on me." He argues.

     "Wear dark clothes. I'll just get a mask or something." You suggest, "you don't even have to wear it, just hold it."

      He sighs from the other line, "Fine. I'll wear dark clothes. And I'll be at your dorm at 7:30."

      "Really?" You ask, smiling brightly as you look down at your desk with a smitten face.

       "Really, Princess." That's what he called you whenever you got you way. It always made you feel like you had a little butterfly flying around your rib cage.

      "Thank you. I love you." You giggle, going back to writing notes.

       "Love you too, College." He says, you can hear the smirk in his voice. "Well, I gotta go. I'll see you then?"

     "See you then, Jo."

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

The crowd is immediately overwhelming to Joel. As the group approaches the frat house, there a guy throwing up an the sidewalk. He's dressed as Luigi. His mustache lays crumbled at his feet while he groans. Joel automatically thinks of 3,001 excuses to get the hell out of there. But each excuse is thrown away after he thinks about you. What if something happens to you? So he stays. Stuffing part of the werewolf mask you bought into his back pocket. Reluctantly grabbing a beer from the huge cooler once you're inside and cracking it open. He watches as you and Nessa take out your own alcohol and soda can to make a mixed drink.

Earlier that night, he arrived at your dorm to see you all dolled up. A winged liner and a cherry red lipstick being the most notable out of your makeup look. For him at least. You were wearing a white, pirate styled shirt with a worn brown vest. In a material that made Joel cringe slightly. Your skirt was fluffy, and short, exposing your thighs in the cold air. You wore converse, just like he had. You were dressed as Little Red Riding Hood. Shoving a cheap werewolf mask into his hands, thanking him for wearing exactly what you had told him. Which was a navy crewneck and dark denim. He was your big bad wolf.

He sighs, standing beside them, feeling wildly out of place. You had brought him to the same frat before. After a Longhorns game. An invitation reached out by Nessa and her boyfriend who was in the frat. But before then, he was drinking and it was easier to make conversation about football, and not his shitty costume. He swallows his pride and watches you giggle with your bad influence of a roommate. Or so he believed her to be.

You turn to see him staring, throwing a crooked smile in his direction before taking a long sip of your drink. Which had mostly alcohol and a drop of Dr Pepper. "Can you hold my soda, Joel?" You ask, with your usual puppy eyes and fake pout.

He grumbles and grabs it from you, double fisting a Busch lite and your Dr Pepper. While holding your soda and following you around, all Joel could think about were his little brothers words. 'You're the boyfriend with absolutely no benefits.' And Joel couldn't deny it any longer. He helped move you into your dorm, he picks you up when you drink too much with Nessa, he holds you when your shitty boyfriends screw you over, and he holds your drinks at parties so you can flirt with other guys. And he gets nothing but a 'thanks Joel! You're the best!'

    It took him way too long to realize that he's the friend zone king. He sits on its shitty throne next to the guy who says 'Where's my hug?' His stomach churns. His throat burning hot and his head is spinning.

"Nessa said Kayden and Theo are on the lawn." You shout over the music into Joel's ear, the proximity making his heart jump.

"The hell are they doin' out there?" He asks back.

"Keg-stand, fucking idiots." You grumble and Joel laughs, agreeing. Which earns him a glare from Nessa. To which he sticks his tongue out back.

Nessa grabs onto you, leading you out towards the lawn. You immediately grab onto Joel's forearm and drag him with you two. He sighs, downing half of his beer as he walks with you to the lawn. A sea of drunk college students dressed in silly or slutty costumes litter the lawn. Nessa's boyfriend, Theo, is in the middle of a keg stand, and Kayden is cheering from the side with a jug full of alcohol. God, Joel wanted to lose his shit and bang on his chest in pure anger. You were nervous about that fucker?

You look to Joel with an uneasy smile, he doesn't return it. "How do I even communicate with him?" You ask Joel.

"You run away as fast as you can," he gives you an unimpressed look as he says it. He's not joking.

You give him an exaggerated eye roll and shake your head. "You told me you'd be good for advice, Miller."

"That's my best advice, Princess," he says easily, crossing his arms over his chest. His beer can lazily hanging in his fingertips. Which are lightly gripping the top.

You swallow, watching as Kayden chugs an impressive amount of whatever alcohol was mixed in the jug of what used to be Arizona tea. "I guess I should probably introduce myself."

Joel's jaw clenches as he watches you go, wanting to grab you and shake sense into you. What could you possibly see in that guy? What could possibly be romantic about a arizona jug with a unexplained green liquid sloshing around inside it? What could possibly be attractive about the piss-water beer he was spilling all over himself. With one tight squeeze, he crashes the can, wandering away to find a recycle bin.

He heads back inside reluctantly, chewing the inside of his cheek while his mind churns out a million scenarios where you turn out hurt. Or someone else's. A huff escapes his lips as he tosses the can into the recycle bin and immediately heads into the kitchen for another. In the kitchen, there's a group of other Mario characters. Joel clocks them as Luigi's group. He wonders if they know poor Luigi is puking his guts out.

Laughing to himself, he cracks open a second beer and leans against the counter, observing as people come and go from the kitchen. He sips slowly, judging people's costumes, laughter, and their drunken speeches. He wonders how people got drunk so fast, or if him and your group really arrived as late as Nessa made it seem. He sets his beer down next to him, still holding onto your Dr Pepper. His hand covering the open top. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a princess peach approaching. Her dress short, and white knee high boots. Her blonde hair was curled and she had a tiny crown on her head. She looked good.

"You're bleeding." She says, pointing to his empty hand. Looking down, he realized he must've cut himself while crushing his can in his earlier frustration.

He looks back up with a slow blink, "thanks." He grumbles, not really sure what to say, "you know if they keep a first aid kit in this dump?"

Peach laughs with a nod, moving past him and looking under the sink. She grabs out a small, red first aid kit. Joel sets down your Dr Pepper. He moves to the sink, washing off the blood from the small, deep cut. He rips a paper towel from his freehand and dabs the cut. Once he's finished, Peach put a paw patrol bandaid on the left side of his palm, where the cut is.

"All fixed, soldier." She says with a giggle.

"Thanks," he says, inspecting the bandaid made for children, "oh, and if you're missing a Luigi, he's out on the lawn. Buddy seems like he's had a rough night.

Peach let's out a loud giggle, Joel flinches at the sound. "Oh, that's just Damon. He's been drinking since noon."

"Since noon?"

"Yeah, it's normal i promise." She says, her hand falling onto his bicep as she laughs. She squeezes it lightly and his eyes widen slightly.

Joel shifts, not really sure how to handle a unwanted touch from a stranger. Her hand dropped as soon as it came. He let out a huff in relief, shifting his converse against the kitchen tile. "He should probably stop drinkin' so much." He said awkwardly.

      Peach shrugs, "it's college."

       At the tail end of their conversation, you slip into the kitchen. You're red hood is down now, and your solo cup is completely empty. Having been downed after you listens to Kayden tell you about football through a slurred voice. After realizing there was no chance of social resuscitation, you head inside to find Joel. Hopefully getting the hell out of there. You walk through the sliding glass door and through the dining room. When you reach the kitchen you stop in you tracks at the sight of Joel.

       As you stand there, a realization creeps up on you. You've seen this film. You've seen it a thousand times. Every time you've entered a room, you've watched it play. A perfect play through every single time. Joel stands against the kitchen counter with another beer in his hands. He's grumbling something to a girl dressed as Princess Peach. As she laughs at what he said, her delicate hand slaps his bicep, grabbing onto it as she leans forward and lets out a flirtatious giggle. You watch him blink slowly, realizing whatever he said to the girl wasn't a joke. He wasn't trying to be funny.

     Continuing to watch, you stand in the entrance. He stands up from where he was leaning on the counter, no longer relying on it to hold him up. You watch as he slams his second beer, your Dr Pepper still in his right hand. His hand is covering the top. Another few blinks and his whiskey eyes are on you.

     Everything from there feels like a total cliche. He turns away from Princess Peach, eyes still on you. He mutters a farewell. You watch him closely as he stares you down. He's crossing the room, eyes fixated on your form. The white pirate-styled top, and the brown vest. His eyes fall to the short red skirt and the beat up converse on your feet. The noise around you cancels out into merely a whisper, your heartbeat gets faster as you realize what's happening to you. No, what's happened. What's always been there. What is becoming so painfully obvious that you physically can't keep up with the way your brain spins.

    He's there and everyone else is just an obstacle. Blocking you from running to him. You wonder if that's how it's been this whole time. If your own stupidity and oblivious nature has been your obstacle this whole time. If this moment was destined since you had plopped a boat made out of the gum wrapper from the gum he gave you on his desk in 6th grade. You wonder if had he asked you to homecoming instead of Charlie Winkler, would you have already realized it. Would you have already realized that there's absolutely no one in this world that makes you feel the way he does?

     As he gets closer, fire spreads through your body, and suddenly he's grabbing your wrist. He says something, but you're locked into a shock induced state. You completely zone out as his face leans closer. Your eyes take in his thick, furrowed brow and the slight scrunch on his forehead. His lips are downturned and you suddenly realize how long it's been since he's shaved. His stubble much longer than he had ever kept it before.

      "Hey, you good?" His smooth drawl snaps you back into reality, he's waving a large hand in front of your face, "Earth to College."

      You blink a few times, "Joel. Hi." You choke out awkwardly, staring at him.

     "You good? Where's Kyle?"

     "Kayden." You correct, throwing out your solo cup. Then grabbing the Dr Pepper from his hands and throwing that out too.

     "Same thing," he shrugs, "Where is he?"

     "I wasn't into him." You say quickly, "Wanna get some air? I'm feeling a little overwhelmed."

    He immediately looks concerned, his hand landing on the small of your back, "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

    You nod quickly, "I'm fine, i promise. C'mon, let's go upstairs."

     You grab his hand and lead him out to the living room and up the stairs of the frat. He follows behind, holding onto your hand tightly. He looks behind and around himself, not really knowing what to expect. Or what people would think about people heading into the bedroom of a frat member without said frat member being present.

    You reach a door with Theo's name on it. Carefully, you peak your head in. Once you know it's clear of horny and drunk college students, you open the door fully. Joel steps through, looking around at the slightly messy room.

    "You're sure we can be up here?" Joel says, awkwardly shifting his weight as you plop down on Theo's bed.

     "He said I could use it if i needed too." You smile, playing with the hem of your skirt.

    He just nods, converse dragging slightly on the rug under his feet and towards the bed. As he sits down slowly, you listen to the muffled music from the yard. A shitty, yet classic, Pitbull song plays and you hear drunken screams. You ignore it, not wanting to focus on anything else but the overbearing scent of Joel's teakwood cologne. The one you got him for his 20th birthday. How was he so perfect?

   "So, that kid didn't catch your interest?" Joel asks, his sweaty hands rubbing on the denim covering his thighs.

     "He smelled like wet pennies," you laugh, nudging his shoulder lightly.

    He laughs with you. It's thunderous sound, one you've always been incredibly fond of. You giggle slightly, a lovesick haze clouding your brain as he looks over to you. For a moment, it's quiet between you both. A complete contrast to the chaos outside. Both of your breathing the only sound left in the room. His eyes flicking from your eyes to your cherry red lips. He snaps out of his daze, looking forwards, "I think if someone told me I smelled like pennies, I'd cry." He says teasingly, nudging your knee.

    "You don't smell like pennies." You lean closer.

    "Promise?"

    "Promise." You nod, giggling as you lean your head on his shoulder.

      His arm wraps around you, rubbing your shoulder over your smooth red cape. The hood tangled in the back from ripping it off your head after Kayden accidentally spilled his unidentified alcohol beverage on it earlier. You nuzzle your head on his muscular shoulder, inhaling his strong scent. His navy crewneck is soft against your cheek as you look down at the dark denim on his strong thighs.

      You both sit in silence for a few moment, the tension in the air getting thicker as the seconds tick by. Eventually, you get restless. Your voice cuts through the quiet room as you lift your head up slightly to look up at him. "You want to stay with me in the dorms tonight?" You ask softly.

    "I would love that." he says softly, leaning forward and placing his forehead on yours. His hand reaches to grab your wrist as it sits on your lap. He rubs your wrist slowly, running across a prominent vein that meets your palm.

   Suddenly, his free hand wraps around the back of your head, gently and quickly pulling you in. Before you can process whats happening, his lips press against yours. You melt into the kiss without another thought. His hand slides down and holds your face, his other hand dropping your wrist and reaching up behind your head. His long fingers running through your hair as you kiss. Your hands lay on his chest, squeezing him slightly when he pressed deeper. The kiss turns to into a heavy make out as he starts getting a bit carried away at the taste of your cherry lipstick. The kiss gets sloppy, making you squeeze your thighs together from the sudden burn between your legs. He breaks the kiss, breathing heavy, his hands on your hips. He's looking down at you with rosy cheeks. "Was that okay?" His voice was soft.

     You pant softly, your lips swollen from his passionate kiss. "Mhm," you nod.

    He quickly steals another kiss from you, shifting to face you. You go right back to making out again. He has a tight hold on your waist with one hand. His left hand traveling up to your back. You hold yourself up on the bed with your hand spread behind you. Your arm is thrown over his shoulder and around the back of his neck. His tongue pushes against yours, pulling you in for a kiss. It lasts for a few seconds that seem to be last a lifetime. His hand grips tighter at your waist, breathing heavily after he eventually broke the kiss. "I want you.." He whispers. His eyes are heavy and he's gazing at you in a way you didn't believe was possible.

    "I'm yours." You whisper without another thought, smiling.

    He pulls himself even closer, slowly and gently lying you down before leaning on top of you. He places his hand flat on your spine, whilst his other hand goes to your thigh. He kisses your neck and collarbone, the taste of your skin driving him crazy. For a moment, he loses himself in the taste, before he begins to wonder if you're feeling alright. He pauses again, letting himself catch breath before checking on you. "Are you comfortable? Do you want to continue this?"

    You nod, your fingers playing with the curls on the back of his neck. His hand is on your thigh, rubbing it lightly. "Yeah, I'm comfortable." You nod softly.

     He beams, a slight huff of excited laughter hitting your face. "You'll let me know if it's too much?" He asks softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

     "Mhm." You hum, pushing his head down to continue the kiss. He happily accepts the invitation, squeezing your thigh gently as his other arm is still wrapping under you as you lay on Theo's bed.

You both make out for a few more minutes. The touches become more and more heated with each second. Your nails dig into his shoulders as his hand travels up your thigh to rest on your hip underneath your skirt. A small moan rumbles against his lips as your back arched slightly against the mattress. His finger loops under the band of underwear on your hip.

As he begins to tug slightly, the door flys open and you and Joel rip apart from each other. Joel hops off the bed, scratching the back of his neck as his other hand travels to his front pocket. A poor attempt to hide the bulge in his jeans. You sit up on the bed, fixing your skirt and hair as you both look at the door.

Theo and Nessa stand at the door, their jaws dropped open at the sight in front of them. “No way,” A drunken Nessa giggled, covering her mouth.

“Nessa! Hi!” You squeak, getting up from the bed as the two drunken vampires giggle.

Joel’s face is beet red as his hands are stuck into his front pockets. You look over to see red lipstick smudged on his lips, some even in his stubble. You got hit with embarrassment, using your thumb to wipe around your lips to wipe off any smudged lipstick. “We were just getting some air.”

“More like sharing some air,” Theo laughs.

“Go back to the dorms,” Nessa smirks. “I’ll be here tonight.”

Instead of arguing you nod, grabbing onto Joel’s arm and leading him out of the room. The door closes behind you and you both look at each other in awe and embarrassment.

“Dude.” You breath out, a slow smile creeping onto your lips.

“That…” he tries to find words in his flustered state, “that was awkward.”

You both laugh, leaning into each other in a post make out haze. He tugs you into his arms for a moment, pulling you close as he rubs your back slowly. He presses a firm kiss to the crown of your head before pulling apart again.

“Should we head to your dorm?” He asks softly, biting the inside of his lip.

You smirk, grabbing his wrist. “C’mon, cowboy.”

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

moot tags: @annasinterests @ilovepedro @mandoisapunk @party-hearses @nostalxgic @bastardmandennis

[sapphire-innit]

DRISTAAAAA TIMEEE

VOD: TommyInnit Speaks To Dream’s Sister AGAIN

(rp): Drista!! I love this chaotic child and am looking forward to seeing the children bully each other lmao. I especially love the mythos around Creative mode, and that the most benevolent god on the Dream SMP is just as likely to ban you as hand you a shulker box lol.

I do wonder how in character cc!Tommy is going to be able to stay during this stream: on one hand he’s a master at staying in character even during lh moments, and on the other Exile arc is some Dark Shit and Dristas like what, 14?? Overall I expect this to be one of the lighter streams, with a smattering of moments where we remember that, oh right, Tommy’s pretty actively suicidal at this point and he sees this as one of his last hurrahs.

Speaking of our boy Tommy: it's very clear we are getting closer and closer to the infamous pillar. He switches rapidly between Fight and Fawn reflexes and has mostly internalized Dream’s treatment and conditions at this point. The one stand out moment being him calling out Dream killing Mexican Dream last stream, and pointing out he was changing his story even when Dream tried to lie and say he died of “a drug overdose [...] or natural causes”. I’m curious if Tommy is going to bring it up again, and even more curious if he eventually believes Dream about it; something to watch out for, for sure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this moment of rebellion happened right after he had someone both stand up for him and spend time with him that wasn’t actively hostile or going to end (supposedly, at least by intention)

Hey we didn’t start off drowning for once!! cc!Tommy was also singing, though that could have been mostly out of character as well. Still, remarkably in a better mood, he even mentions having an appetite! You love to see it, and it's clearly because he’s looking forward to Drista’s visit

He’s building a log tower and on one hand, Tommy building Towers is a natural state of being, and on the other…. I know the pillar is coming and I am scared

A mention of the Anti-Dream hole… I still worry about when exactly and how Dream is going to find it. Still, I’m glad it exists, both for Tommy having a space for things important to him, as well as what it represents about his mental state re:not giving over completely to Dream

DRISTA!!!! LOL she was already online we didn't even see her join LOL. CHAOS GREMLIN she just flew over in creative mode and started wrecking shit, as is her right lmaoooo

“You massive jer--, (quieter) whats a nicer way…, YOU MASSIVE DICKHEAD” oh, Tommy..

I like how he tries to punch her even when shes CLEARLY IN CREATIVE MODE ADSADASD

The violence inherent in fourteen year olds,,,, adsfsadfsdfds

I hate this conversation why is this the conversation asdffdsfsd TEENAGERS

DREAM YOUR NOT EVEN A TEENAGER WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE SAME LOGIC

Well SHE can destroy the obsidian asdfsdfds She just Spleefs

“What would Dream do” Probably worse lets be honest

Is he actually gonna go back to L’manburg?? I don’t believe it but I also want :(

Again with the stabbing

AND DOWN HE GOEEEESSSS

“I have the fork, but I'm also killing you” afsafsdfdsf Tommy why are you wearing your good shit omg

Lol cc!Dream trying to defend his character for mocking Tommy’s accent adsfsdfds “I would NEVER” in the totally not believable tone lmaoooo

DID SHE REALLY GO AT HIM WITH A FORK I'M FUCKING DYING DSAFDADSFDS

“I will take it from you and I’ll kill him”... I have so many thoughts about how this works in lore. Is Drista possessing Dream? He can kick her out clearly, but she still has God Powers…

Lol and now SHES mocking his accent lmaoooo (... is it bad she sounded pretty close to me? lol)

Adsfdsfswd casual chaos Drista just broke the Nether Portal

Asking Drista to stop destroying things is a big ask to be honest lmaoo. Also she seems to be at least somewhat informed that ‘Dream is not supposed to be nice to Tommy’ or at least seemed hesitant to do /weather clear

GOD THE LAVA BUCKETS AND THE POTION OF HARMING adsfsdfsdf

“Tommy [beheaded him] actually… and killed Mexican Dream” Dream you motherfucker

“How to Sex 3” THE PANIK!!!!!! From Both cc!Dream and Tommy!!! This server is Not Child Friendly lol (Doesn’t…. That not even include sex things…. afasfsd)

Honestly I can’t stop smiling this is so wholesome somehow even with all the cursing and violence

Pigstep IS a bop, Tommy is right

“Just let him, just let him this one time” :(

“Tommy I still have the Fork” Drista totally willing to stab her brother to visit L’manburg

HE TOOK THE FORK ASDASDAS

Yes, closing your eyes will totally protect you from Forks lol

“I don’t need school, I dropped out” Is this Lore Crumbs, is this Lore

HEYYYY ITS THE BEDROCK, the one piece of bedrock he has lol, I think he still has that in current day right?

Drista is writing her name in BEDROCK adsfsdfds “I’m not going to be able to get rid of that actually” “That's the Point”

LOL SHe also recognized the burrito as from Mos lmaooo

Somehow “I really want to go to the other place.. I don’t know why he won’t let you” hit hard… it was def ooc, and she doesn’t have the full context, but still… its just someone else wanting and asking for Tommy to be able see L’manburg…

Afsdfsd the Small Gasp when she spleefs herself omgg

HES THERE!!! HES THERE!!!!!! L’MANBURG!!!!!!

Punz!!! WHY!!!! Were you there bc Drista might let Tommy through, was this a safeguard for the LORE. Also he’s currently working for Dream directly right, as a merc?

Drista trying to save Tommy!!!! Punz why are you winning a fight with someone in creative adfsadfsd He’s too good lol

They have negotiated a visit… I’m so emotional I wasn’t expecting this…. No one told me we got a real L’manburg visit !

BIG Q SHES FOURTEEN!!! Omg they didn’t tell him it was Drista. BIG Q!!! BIG Q DON’T SELL HER DRUGS

“He was Naked” good for you Drista, good for you. There’s something so hilarious about Drista just stabbing Quackity over and over again cause she’s uncomfortable lol (as is her right)

LOL THE FINAL KILL WITH MAGIC WHEN HE’S ALREADY DROWNING IM

Wha --- what video was it????? What is this Tommy picture on the Technoganda???

….”are you sure I’m allowed here” Dream’s conditioning is strong :(

“At many minute I could get mugged” To be Fair Tommy, that was true before

Did Tommy just suggest spawning in a Wither asdfsdfds

DRISTA DOG ARMY!!!! Aww and Tommy has one too~

THE BENCH!! THE HOUSE!!! Aaaaaaaaa He’s sitting on the bench nature is HEALING

AAAAAAAA A BLAZE!!!! Pfffft

…. Who destroyed the front of Tommys house?

,,,,Drista what are you doing with that soULSAND

“OK we'll turn on him” adsfsdfsd

OH HEY TECHNO!!! Lol “Oh god he meant me” fucking mood big man

……. Tubbo hallucination……… fuck

LOL HE COMBAT LOGGED “YOU CALL THAT COMBAT” I'M

To be fair, logging against a /kill is probably the only way to get away lmao

…...F

“Getting thrown off a cliff is literally how Theseus died!!” lol its also hilarious to me that Tommy def does not remember being called that. Personally I don't think it fits him super well anyway, but I do like it as something Techno calls Tommy, that shows how much he misjudges Tommy's character and intentions. No heroes here, just a kid trying to do good by their friends and what they care about

Techno actually looking up how to kill someone in creative mode

…. :( I just want my actual clingyduo content this is meeeeannn

OH HEY TECHNO …. You fucker he would and it would be HILARIOUS (get mad if Drista opped Techno that is lol)

….

….

IS THIS WHY THEY’RE BEDROCK BROS????? BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE DRISTA BEDROCK??????????????????????????

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ???

LOL TRUE DUO SUPREMACY TUBBO’S GOT TECHNO'S BEDROCK

Oh F Techno got him with the Obliterator lmaoooo

“I have 114 levels PLEASE” asdfdasfsdf

LOL Tubbo with the TNT there's our nuke boy, I'll take my crumbs where I can get them

THE SHULKER HOLY SHIT

“Don't let someone get it!!”” ADSFDSAFSDFDS they all tuRN CC REAL QUICK WHEN THE SHULKER BOXES COME OUT

Awesamdudes like: MORE PLEASE AFDASFDSF

Techno immediately snitching about Elytra and dRISTA GETTING THE ACHIEVEMENT

EVERYONE SNITCHING IN CHAT I'M!!!! DREAMS REACTION ASDFSDFDSF

Drista being the chaotic giver of illegal gifts is so fucking good I'M THRIVING

THE RUN ON PUNZ !!!! omg

Also can we just take a minute to appreciate Tommy being allowed around people <3 <3 This is so wholesome and good and chaotic as all hell

“I thought I was Tom Cruz for like a whole week” ...TOMMY??

LOL SHE BANNED TECHNO OMG

Dristas on a banning Rampage afsdfsdf

BAN GOGGY OMGGG

Omg shes actually making a wITHER DASDASDFAS

Oh no poor Tubbo I didn’t know he was liVE

319k viewers jeezus

Awwwww Techno hyping up Wilbur's song :) that's so sweet actually

…………….Fuck you Dream :( saw the chance to Twist the Knife in c! And TOOK IT

LOL THE FUCKING FORK IS THE BEST BIT LOLLLL

Lol ironically the Bedrock bros song is the oNE COPYRIGHTED ONE, god why did Minecraft ever copyright Pigstep what a shit move honestlyyy

Pigstep fucking goING TO TECHNO LOLLLLLL “this is the most powerful item on the server since it DMCA’s people”

LOL PUNZ TRYING TO STEAL ANOTHER SHULKER

Poor Sam he actually has to BUILD give this man a SHULKER

Lol Everyone wants a shulker so much

….aww he tried to toss the pigstep disc lmaooo DRISTAS LITERALLY HOLDING IT Scaaaaaammmmed

Drista “I NEED IT ON HAND” So committed to violence !!!

The fucking creepers on the way out omg fuckign PERFECT

LOL TOMMY WASN’T READY FOR THE TURN AROUND ON CURSING LMAO You can tell he's always been the youngest who people aren't sure how much they can curse around lmao He's so soft honestly he talks such a big game and then CRUMBLES when called on it lol

Asfdsfs she fell through the same hole again afsdfsdfsd

Drista has been introduced to a Weapon and she’s gotten ATTACHED lmaooo

Wait HOLD THE PHONE Dream has multiple sisters??? Lol

“Yeah I like Shit” Dream: “whAT???”

Bye Drista it’s been nice!!! I hope she had a good time, she seems like a good kid (who is definitely not a content creator lol though she keeps up admirably)

Drista’s one of the few people who can make Tommy speechless lmaooo he looks actually shocked lol

Also first mention of GhostInnit…. cc!Tommy…..

Keep preparing…. Was his original plan to rush Dream even if (maybe especially if…) he died? Fuck man

Also holy shit was this stream right before Quackitys? ? amazing

This was honestly such a BLAST and a really good time, and I can see why its viewed as one of the few breaks we get during Exile :) I feel so refreshed and it was so so nice to have Tommy hanging out in L’manburg having fun with his friends (even if Tubbo was stuck being a Hallucination and Also Banned lol) No deeper insight, I just haven’t stopped smiling for an hour and a half <3

[blockmengobrr]

I'm coming in like ~5?? months late to drop the coldest hot take on the c!Techno v. c!Tommy betrayal discourse after it was briefly touched on Tommy's recent stream.

Ok so I completely understand where Tommy was coming from -- after going down the dark path of revenge, learning that this isn't a good way to achieve his goals, and realizing that he's only hurting his friends this way, changing sides really makes sense for him. Forgiving Tubbo & the others for leaving him is entirely his choice and overall a pretty healthy decision to make. I sympathize with his decision to "switch sides" as it shows he is willing to grow from his mistakes and stop himself from hurting people further. Pop off, c!Tommy, further your healing!

BUT...

c!Tommy. Honey. I am genuinely glad that you realized that the power of friendship™ is more important than revenge. But that timing at the community house was genuinely terrible. Like I get that Tommy didn't fully realize that he was going down the wrong path until he started arguing that "the disk is more important than Tubbo!" etc, but immediately deciding to fully commit to switching sides right after your pal stands up for you surrounded by like 20 of your enemies is... Not a good look?

c!Techno doesn't just feel betrayed because Tommy "left him for the government", he feels betrayed because from his perspective, it looks like Tommy dropped their relationship at the first sign of trouble to save his own hide. Now obviously, as audience members we know this isn't true! But Mr. Techno "violence-is-the-only-universal-language" Blade isn't a character that really values words, seeing how he usually just immediately starts fighting as soon as he feels people aren't listening to him lmao. He views the world in pretty black and white terms -- you're either supporting governments, or you're not. He also has Trust Issues™ up the wazoo, paranoid that people only side with him to use him for his skills and resources, rather than develop a true sense of friendship and alliegance. So to Techno, it really would seem that Tommy literally just ran to the safety of the government as soon as he realized that he wasn't entirely safe, abandoning his faithful ally for a relationship that already seemed to be a lost cause and a corrupt institution that only causes harm.

Now I'm deffo not a full blown c!Techno apologist, like I understand disliking institutional power structures but full blown terrorism & burning people's homes down is NOT an proportional response to an ideological disagreement lmaoo. Also the whole teaming with dream thing? He either was socially oblivious enough not to notice Tommy's fairly clear signs of abuse (which to be fair, would be in character for him lol) or he just didn't care. Which kind of is a different kind of betrayal in and of itself.

TL;DR - While c!Tommy was mostly in the right to switch sides, the timing of it was pretty poor so could easily be perceived as a "betrayal" by any outsider who doesn't know about Tommy's internal dilemma & thought process. In a sense, he did "betray" c!Techno in a way and that's probably why his character came to that realization on today's stream. It might his way of looking from Techno's perspective and maybe being willing to make amends (which really means a lot after how Techno hurt him on Doomsday).

[joelsbeard]

Okay part 2 😈 @joelsfavoritegirl

Okay we've already read how the two of you get butterfliesss when you guys are first crushing on each other, but i feel like even throughout your relationship things always manage to stay fresh and you both keep surprising each other, so basically your relationship never really loses its spark

Therefore you both still get butterflies about one another even years after getting together

Before your relationship started and also at the beginning of it, sometimes joel would get so nervous around you hehe and his palms would always get clammy 😭 poor joel lol

You know damn well in your talking stage and also right after you get together, joel is for sure tellin his homeboys all about you 😭 (in a respectful way of course, he's not going to embarrass you or anything)

He is down BAD for you, tommy (lol fuckin tommy) and all his friends never let him forget

He always gets warm fuzzy feelings around you because you are so sweet and kind and caring and he always asks himself how he managed to get with a girl like you 🥺

When you first started dating, this man was definitely gigglin and swingin his feet whenever you would respond to his texts HAHAHAH

This man would do ANYTHING for you, and he always goes the extra mile to make you feel special, I'm talking giving you spa nights (so sweet! I guess its only fair since you pamper him too with those little facials hehe), taking you on dates, cooking for you (simple foods), and being extra sweet to you on your period 🥺 getting you all your cravings and putting up with your mood swings (good practice for when he gets you pregnant with his babiesss 😈)

He ALWAYS brings you flowers!!! Joel Miller is a fucking romantic and I will die on that hill fr. Everytime i read in a fic where he brings you flowers i'm like that is so fucking joel miller coded. Even if it's not an elaborate bouquet (those are way to expensive anyways) he'll come home with a bouquet of daisies, carnations, hydrangeas, roses ofc hehe, baby's breath, lavender, you name it. He seems like a simple guy (in a good way, also aren't a lot of guys lol) so you don't need the fancy ones (maybe he gives you those on anniversaries or special events) but just the thought is always so sweet ❤️

Sometimes he'll make the bouquets himself 🥺 he'll get 2-3 varieties from the grocery store and learns to cut and arrange and wrap them himself 🥺 and those are your favorites. You always make sure to give him head every time he does lol he deserves it 🙈

Your natural scent, the smell of your perfumes, soaps, shampoos, detergents, and lotions all bring him to his goddamn knees!!! He be gettin horny fr when you walk by him and he gets a whiff of you LMAOO.

You guys tell each other EVERYTHING and it doesn't take long once you start dating to become very close, and you're very comfortable with basically anything with each other.

I heard of this thing where if you and your partner feel very comfortable, safe, and secure around each other, you tend to feel sleepy and relaxed when you're in each other's presence, and especially bc joel works a hard ass job, i feel like he loves coming home to you and just melting and laying on you and he can feel the tension and stress just leave his body as soon as he walks in the door.

Now bc I want to minimize my pookie's suffering lol, I imagine that bc in this AU he's not a single dad, you both work so for a while you have dual income, and once sarah comes you take a break but eventually do a part time job or something just to help out with expenses so joelie doesn't have to work so hard 🥺

This is such a cute headcanon, but basically whenever he's having an especially hard day he'll look at his phone lockscreen of you two to remind him what's waiting for him at home ❤️ he also reads and keeps all of the notes you leave in his lunch boxes lol

Joel Miller is a DEVOTED and WHIPPED ass man for his girl, he worships the ground you walk on especially once you have his babies hehe 🙈 he's like thats MY GIRL, my BABY MAMA, the MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN, the LIGHT OF MY LIFE AND REASON FOR BEING!!!

Everybody wishes they had a joel miller smh, people look at you guys and they're like 🥺 "wish i had a partner as devoted as he/she is" bc you are equally as whipped for this fine ass man and you cannot WAIT to have his babies

^ biological instincts going brrrr fr when you see that man, you can feel your ovaries crying

And he wants to put his babies in you so bad!!!

Even the sound of your voice gets him fuckin horny, he'll pick you up from work or school sometimes (maybe you plan on getting your associates degree) and he'll catch you talking to a coworker or a classmate and he looks at you like 😍 he's just SO in love you with and you look like an angel to him. He's the type of guy to be looking at you when you say "isn't the view so beautiful" and he's like "yes it is" and you turn and see him looking at you like 😍 and it makes you want to cry

Just like the feeling you get when he calls you "sweet girl", he fr be getting butterflies in his stomach and bootyhole LMAO when you call him "sweet man" 🥺 especially when you hold his face in your hands or stroke his beard when you say it

Your body drives him nuts too ;) he can't get enough of you, yes he's always grabbing/smacking your ass or squeezing your tiddies lol...men

Whenever he talks about you to other people they can see him just LIGHT UP, and he almost is glowing whenever he even thinks of you, or when people bring you up to him :) Like think Peeta Mellark (my first ever fictional love lol Peeta the man that you are!!! 😩 other boys wish they were you!!!) obsessed and in love with you

Jesus christ why do i always get carried away with these lol I CAN'T HELP IT JOEL MILLER IS JUST TOO HOT

guilty 2 say that i’m a little obsessed with ur hcs🫣 so i’m back with another requestttt

could i ask for hcs about the affect reader has on young!joel? like it can be anything from her physical to emotional aspects, i js wanna know how down bad you think he is for his girl yk😩

you are so nice 🥺 MORE HEADCANONS COMING UP YEEEEE

edit: i spent too long building up on how you and joel met lol so I will so another part to this to answer it a little better

My AU hc is that you and joel meet in hs and have sarah and ellie lol, and my canon divergent hc is that you meet joel after he has sarah and is raising her as a single dad (since it's such a defining moment/trait for him i guess) and then you have ellie together ❤️ so her and sarah are half sisters. Idk if i'll ever get around to writing hc's for the second one since I'd rather focus on you and joel meeting in hs and having sarah and ellie ❤️ lol also less heartbreak for my pookie.

ANYWAYS, you and joel meet in hs ❤️ and honestly you both fall for each other at the same time 🙈 so yall are just pining for each other lol.

AND everybody knows it and its so cute

You probably grew up with him or went to the same middle school at least, have definitely thought the other one was cute but didn't really act on it, and yall have dated other people (not a lot, but both of you have dated 1-2 other ppl at least)

After both of you are single in hs, you for some reason end up noticing each other more in the hallways and stuff

Then you have a class together and ITS ALL OVER 😈

It's like all of a sudden a switch turns on and you guys start crushing REAL bad on each other

You've been in the same group projects once or twice and every time you interact one of yall is alwayyyys blushing

Most people ship you guys (except for the jealous girls and guys smh) and both of your and his friends try to play matchmaker and get you two to go out lol

As I've previously mentioned before, i do not see joel miller as a player at all, so he probably does get a little nervous around you sometimes, however I also think he's got his moments where he's smooth as hell and the rizz the fuck out of you LMAOO (uh daddy??)

He got you like this in class 😍🙈😋🥰 fr

Okay but you honestly have the same effect on him

On multiple occasions you find yourselves looking at each other in class hehe, and when you make eye contact you guys are like 🤭

I will clarify though, he's not out here hardcore flirting with you or anything, i think he's a little too shy for that

Yall get butterflies in your stomach whenever you talk to each other, meanwhile both of your friends are trying to hype you both up being like "just go out with him/her!!!" and being like "he/she totally likes you!" or "Somebody told me that they have a crush on you 🙈" but yall are too shy/blind to see each other's feelings lol

EVENTUALLY you guys hang out a little, and afterwards he asks you on a date, and you guys are SMITTEN with each other from then on

Yall become that couple in hs that everyone loves lol, they think yall are so cute together

Yes you go to prom together lol (can you tell I'm american)

I think it'd be cliche for you to get pregnant with sarah on your prom night, i think that'd also be a little too early for canon (joel becomes a dad at 19, so his baby mama (you!!) must've gotten pregnant around 18/19, so that's typically your senior yr of hs or after you've graduated)

To be continued!!!!

[honey-coloured-passion]

DREAM SMP SEASON TWO: HOME

so, let's say the seasons need titles. quite obviously, season one is revolution or rebellion or something along those lines. first the rebellion in creation of lmanburg then wilbur and tommy cast out by schlatt only for the final revolution with technoblade mr. screw government himself.

far more fascinating is season 2. i propose that it be title "Home" here's why:

"Home" is relative to almost EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER

start with our lmanburgians, their old home absolutley obliterated, their first president dead, any semblance of stability gone as they rebuild and relearn what "home" is. hell, fundy and niki canonically left to make a new home as they feel they've lost everything, even themselves.

everyones new fav (mine too hehe) ranboo doesn't know where his loyalties lie. where his home is. who to trust, where to go, what to do. his knowledge of home is a sound as his memory... lol

tubbo is basically betraying his home. tommy. i think it's quite symbolic he lost Your Tommy as i think he's really lost his path in life. especially now after the stream where he thinks tommy wants absolutley nothing to do with him. tubbo thinks he's home in lmanburg but home is much more than a place of rest.

technoblade's version of home continues to get invaded. feeling consistently used and unappreciated or respected i like that he's taken to making his own home in the tundra, but i worry that at this point his goal is to blow up all homes close to him lol.

before we get to the big home boi himself i wanna point out two home related ironies:

1. the irony of conner living IN tommy's home and being the one taken hostage that tubbo then sacrificed (techno's stuff) for.

2. the whole "dream doesn't have a home" jokes is HILARIOUS especially cuz dream is trying to convince tommy his home is with him it's hilarious that techno goes on the rant that "dreams home goes to another school" lmaoo

now, the largest reason for the titling of Dream SMP Seasin Two being Home: TommyInnit.

I have adored watching tommy's version of home change so drastically. we start season 2 with his home being lmanburg, and tubbo, and fundy and niki and church prime and the prime path and his cobble home and- then it's gone. cast away as his HOME is stripped from him by the person he calls his best friend.

then, after toil and a little green manipulation, his home is logstedshire. home is dream. and home has broken him into nothing but a weak, manipulated dust that bends to the green man's will. so distinctly that he didn't even want to visit lmanburg when offered, he literally said his home was logstedshire.

and then home is lost once again. this time for the better, but still poor tommy's version of home has shifted. it now rests with technoblade and his woodland home. today on stream he literally called it home. little does he know, i'm damn sure this home will be stripped from him as well- seeing as we know techno owes dream a favor.

looking into the future- i have a sinking feeling tommy's final home of season two will be the prison. having drifted for so long it only seems fitting he be the one stuck in Pandora's Vault. given a final home for his final death.

so, home relates to every single character and for better or for worse i believe home and who and where home is, will be the center of the finale of season 2.

let me know what you think!

[zathechaosgod]

Favourite Stream Moments!

Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Thursday 3rd of December

Dream smp helping out Techno!

This stream wasn’t in the planned schedule rip

Also twitch never sent me the notif he was live?

(I am procrastinating writing a paper to do this, you’re welcome, don’t tell dad)

Phil’s ladder was messed up:(

Also the obsidian walls are taller lmao

Lmao Phil just ignoring Tommy until he joined the VC to ask him what he was doing, only to just like, cut out his own scream when Techno spoke

TECHNO SEEING THE WANTED POSTERS

Tommy and Techno bickering lololol

“what an exile andy”

Techno kills tommy “That better not be a canon death”

lmaooo Tommy moved in underneath ranboo?

“My condolences, Phil”

Also Sapnap is just,,, here?

Time to move the halloween mobs!

(and a cow)

“oh wilbur soot just joined! my dead son.”

poor techno, taking off a week and suddenly there’s a new war and tommy is about to get exiled

Ghostbur is here!

Complete sleepy bois in a vc!

(and they’re not attempting to kill/emotionally hurt each other!!!)

“everyone can be friends!” “sure thing ghostbur, sure thing”

aww phil and techno’s new bases are the complete opposite directions :(

(Antarctic AND arctic empires pog???)

rip a boat sunk

time to spend 30 minutes going back and forth to make instant damage pots to heal the mobs oof

Honeslty I kinda expected Techno to have already scouted out an optimal route to move them. but also i’m not surprised that techno is just,,, kinda winging it

HUBERT IS OFF LIMITS FOR ANYONE WANTING TO MESS WITH TECHNO

Tubbo is here!

“President andy, am I right”

Someone make Techno go to bed please

Phil caught a pufferfish!

Poor president tubbo, not allowed to join the server lmao

“Phil can we switch seats? For some reason I’m not vibing with it” is a literal pincushion from the skeleton sitting behind him

JESUS HAD OP ON EARTH

Phil letting Tubbo have his Tubbo moment until he figured out that leap day is in february, not on halloween lol

Ghostbur is back!

“We’re making drugs for you mister president!”

Lol Phil begging Techno to guide him and Techno being like “yeah it’s literally the only building you can see”

Hubert is safe!

As is the cow

Now just Fool the skeleton

“I DID ROD PVP FOR THE DUEL WHY WONT THIS WORK”

All mobs blocked in!

Techno considered making a big palace but during smp earth he only used a little room in a corner so he decided against it lol

TECHNO’S COMPASS!

Phil is techno’s only friend but he still only gets three emeralds lmaoooo

friendship emeralds

this is both wholesome and very very funny lol

Techno speech!

He’s retiring

(i can’t wait to see how this goes lol)

(prediction now: tommy gets exiled, phil brings him to techno? “hello theseus”)

For everyone who underestimates Phil: Techno suggested visiting the village to trade for steak, and Phil immediately goes “Pillage? murder them all?”

Manhunt music really is becoming a new meme huh

7777SUBS POG

Why did i miss this stream live :((((((

i missed the 7777 stream :(

MOMZA IS HERE TO CELEBRATE!

“Can fridge do this?” *dances* MOMZA WHY

BOOB GOAL NEXT STREAM

Ian: “Can we touch boob now?”

BOOBZA

Techno and Phil both just,,, locking themselves in different villager houses lol

Techno telling his subs to use their primes on phil lmaoo

TECHNO STILL HAS NO SECOND MONITOR?

HIS OLD MONITOR HAS BEEN SITTTING FIVE FEET AWAY FROM HIM FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS

He also hasn’t opened up a) the hypixel package, b) the playbutton for 3mil subs

basically all of phils notifs rn are primes lol

Also Techno extended his free sony vegas trial by just,,,, not closing the program for three weeks?

Techno having to invite himself into the revolution storyline lmao

Tommy is here! He forgot he could just,,, go talk to them lmao

“Man I sure wish Tommyinnit was in this stream” - nobody ever

Techno and Tommy bonding about actually putting the correct end screens and youtube stuff awww

SPEEDRUN CONFLICT

tommy growth?

He didn’t kill comnors fish and just put it in a chest

WE TOUCHED BOOB

MOMZA CAME WITH A LIKE TYPED VERSION OF BOOBS LMAOOO

Techno and Tommy interacting is the funniest thing ever

Also Tommy really like, brainstormed ways to annoy techno bc techno just,,, shrugs things off?

Tommy and Tubbo are gonna play pubg together now

Best friends!

ohhh nooo steak trade only works in bedrock oof

Techno going panic mode as soon as there’s a baby zombie near Phil is maybe my favourite joke lol

also yes Techno build his house from a youtube tutorial

the only canon lore (according to Techno) is the stuff in his videos, everything else is extended universe

TECHNO AUTHOR OF SEASON 2 POG

“cooked porkchop, my favourite” “sorry about that”

“wow i suddenly found more emeralds!”

momza is gonna bake techno and phil a friendship cake that’s murder flavoured lmao

Techno is running on five hours of sleep and no food

someone get this man a manager/babysitter please

Techno is threatening youtube to switch over to twitch if they don’t sign him a million dollar deal lmao

shoutout to technochat for yelling at him to eat

new netherite pick pog! (diamantspitzhacke has been returned to it’s rightful owner, technoblade)

Pig techno art is POG

THERES GONNA BE A CARL VIDEO ON TECHNOS CHANNEL THAT IS NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHTS

its also gonna be a collab with someone who he hasn’t done a video with yet?

(it’s not sam)

aww techno can’t fly when it rains bc it’s snow here rip

900K FOLLOWERS POG

Friendship streams pog!

MOMZA 42 MONTHS POG

Both of them need turtles so maybe soon???

youtube chat go brrr

E

Techno does not have op on this server

its all grinding

he’s literally killed tens of thousands of spiders

Lol Techno just accidentally dropped his sword into phil

Tommyis OP on Twitch basically

He’s gonna surpass everyone

“Dream is gonna beg Tommy for Clout soon”

SBI STREAMER HOUSE LETS GO

momza can join as well lmao

Turtle stream soon!!

Techno just doing menial tasks while wearing like the most op armour lmao

Techno is gonna eat spaghetti and meatballs in a bit so he’ll end the stream soon

gotta get a cool shot of phil walking away first though

SNOOP DOOGGG

420SUBS POG

Snoop dog button so phil can continue playing while blend w plays?

Also Ranboo left a gift for Phil

He’s a sweet boy

We’ll see how long before he gets corrupted

Rip it’s nighttime now but Techno is still reading stats

Also Ian keeps spamming “Old” in tts but he’s literally the same age as Phil lol

BLEND W BY MOWTENDOO

Unofficial Techno Raid!

Lol Phil is going back to Techno’s house to awkwardly get some milk lol

Phil is alone on the dream smp now aww

Tubbo joined! And said hi and left again lol

Time to raise the waterlevel again!

Lol Phil came across the dreamon hunter camp lol

Tubbo raided Phil after that stream but Phil to this day stil does not know what tf happened then

“question mark the build” zoomed in on tubbo’s tower full of mobs in boats

Phil just names his streams whatever comes to mind these days

He still needs to ask dream about the gold farm

He might change tts to ignore emojis bc it’s so weird to hear it read out the entire emoji name lol

Phil kinda wants to go into Newcastle just to see the ghost town that it is with all the pubs closed bc lockdown

I love the coral idea once the water hits max level but i’m also somewhat unsure if l’manberg is still gonna be here by then lmao

GARBAGE DAY!