#poor cow tho

[aroacefanartist]

ok so yknow when a song is in a different language but sometimes it sound like a line or word in your language?

yeah so this doesn't rlly happen to me with english songs anymore bc I'm fluent right

except team by lorde. I'll just give up and its like yea. the cows gonna fall down. sure. why not

[mishkakagehishka]

Idc anymore i think i'm a good enough writer that i can say that when i noticed the pattern in what exactly makes a book "good" on booktok (and, bc of that, what makes it popular and top bestseller lists), it feels almost demeaning and denigrating to the entire craft. Idk if i should blame the way tiktok-esque social media has utterly rotted everyone's ability to concentrate and read more than three sentences, but literally none of those books are objectively good.

(Yes, yes, art is subjective. HOWEVER. Art is subjective when you look at style, at themes, at motifs, at plots and characters. Art is still a craft, it still requires skill. I've seen beyond the tiktok quotes of these books. Not even their editors are good given the amount of typos/spelling mistakes. That is not something that you should find in a traditionally published book.)

You look at these books, and you know the only reason for their existence is to make money. I cannot and will not accept that as art.

(I'm on Tumblr, of course I have to explain every point. Artists who make money off their art =/= people who only create art meant to be profitable. There is a difference between an artist who hopes to monetise doing what they love, who creates what they wish to see more of and who happens to then create something that other people wish to see more of, and a person who looks at what's trending and decides that making an unholy frankenstein's monster of a book that mashes all those trending tropes and motifs together would get them rich quick. The fact that a lot of these booktok books become popular because of nepotism is just the cherry on top. It's soulless.)

And to finally say what I wanted to say, it's because none of these books have any deeper message or even artistic value to them. You will find a few out of context quotes or paragraphs, ones written specifically so they'd look deep and beautiful when taken out of context, so that people would post them, so that people would buy the books. Entire books written just so those few lines could become viral and make cash. It cannot even be compared to a hook line writers would post to get people interested in their works, because in booktok's case, those are the only lines of quality and in the context itself, they are often out of place and forced.

I just hate booktok, i hate what modern social media has done to art. It's all created to be quickly consumed, for the few ☆aesthetic☆ glances, and then discarded. Just to make more money for those who are already nepo babies. As if artists needed more obstacles to jump over.

[thegreatestheaver]

never ever ever be sorry hal i love when you tag me in bug posts♥️

we just keep naming bugs like this

[heartfullofleeches]

Carnis with werewolf bodyguard tho- Reaser finds the poor cow and takes them since they've been in a similar situation - alone with nobody to turn to. Carnis wishes they could be brave and strong like their new caretaker. If anything they're actually stronger than werewolf reader despite how fragile they look. Reader learns this after coming home one day to find their house broken into and Carnis chewing at the throat of somebody Reader beat at one of the club they work at earlier in the week looking for revenge.

"I....kept the house safe...for...for you. 'm strong....Just like you....I'm...all dirty now...Can we take a bath together?"

I love my immortal lab experiment baby so much. Reader refuses to eat their meat, but it's such a big part of their diet Carnis gets jealous when Reader unwinds after a long day with a nice raw steak."

[bump1nthen1ght]

Kissing the Pain Away (M!CowHybrid!Reader x M!Demon)

Pairing: Male! Cow Hybrid!Reader x Male!Farmer!Demon

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Hybrid Farms

Warnings: Explicit Content Ahead (18+ ONLY)

Word count: 1535 words

Summary: It’s the middle of a balmy summer night, but you’re busy tossing and turning, teets full and aching with milk. Luckily, your lovely demon farmer comes to the rescue.

Request: dont know you guys but i lowkey wanna request a big tittied male cow hybrid reader getting milked both ways by a farmer i mean they can be male or maybe female not problem (mostly male but its on you) but they are demon like just hear me out guys... (I would like to breastfeed someone even tho im a male)

It’s too damn hot out.

You knew it was gonna be too damn hot the minute you woke up, with a fire in your belly and sweat beading on your brow. Your normally cozy stall feels stuffy, the air thick as you toss and turn, trying to go back to sleep. But the aching pains all over are too much to ignore.

You try your best to be good, but it just hurts so much.

So you whine, mooing as pathetically as you can, the sound echoing across the giant barn. It only takes a couple of minutes for the lights to be switched on, for the familiar sound of work boots on straw coming towards you.

“It’s 2 AM, bud. This better be good.” Orias hums, wiping a calloused palm down his face, trying his best to rub the sleep out of his eyes. You nearly burst into tears as he slides open the stall doors, finally getting a glimpse at your weeping form. 

“P-please.” You keen, hand reached out in desperation

The sight of you curled up, desperately massaging your chest and rutting your hips is enough to soften his gaze. He rubs the back of his neck with a sigh.

It’s gonna be a long night.

“Poor thing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be cross.” His own tail flicks back and forth, hat pulled off his horns as he kneels in front of you, dexterous hands quickly rubbing at your swollen nipples. “Damn, these are hard as rocks. No wonder you’re hollering.”

All you can do is nod and push yourself into his grip, begging for the relief of being milked. Everything aches and only an experienced touch can make you feel better.

“I got you, handsome. Let Daddy take care of you.”

Red palms scoop up under your pecs, pushing in a massaging upward motion to encourage the milk to release. You shudder out a breath of relief, the feeling of letting go almost as good as the tongue flicking across your nipple. Orias is never one to waste, lapping up all your dribbling milk with efficiency. Even so, he grabs a bucket from the corner and places it under your leaking chest, knowing he can’t swallow it all.

It’s still not quite enough. The slow pace offers temporary pleasure, but it will be a while until you’re fully empty. All you can chase now is the friction of your bottoms against the hay-ridden stall floor, balls aching just like your chest. Your small bumps barely stave away the pain, your cock-head leaking enough to stain the front of your pajama bottoms.

“Ah-ah!” Your voice echoes as Orias fishes your cock out through your shorts, right through your fly. His thumb brushes across the weeping head, your shaft already slick. He detaches briefly from your nipple, catching his breath.

“Someone’s getting greedy.” Orias gives kitten licks to your other swollen nipple, just rubbing his palm up the sides of your dick . Your moos are forlorn, big wet tears leaving tracks down your cheeks now. Canting your hips into his hand, you pull out all the stops. “Ahh, I spoil you too much.”

You don’t hide the moan as Orias finally latches onto your other teet, his palm sliding down your wet shaft to fondle your balls. Rivulets of pre-cum now run down the sides, making squelching sounds as he squeezes and gropes. Orias grabs another bucket for your semen; He can’t waste any of the real money maker.

“Good boy.” He mutters, taking only a second to detach before sipping on more milk. His hand moves up from your balls to the base of your cock, ringing out more dripping cum into the bucket as he squeezes up and down. The slow slap, slap, as he jerks you off is only made louder by your cum and sweat, spilling out over Orias wrists and dribbling onto his forearm.

He has to take a break for one moment, catching his breath and shaking out his wrist. Voracious as you are, those few seconds feel like torture. You rut into his chest half-heartedly, barely any strength left.

“I know, I know.” His hand finds itself snugly back on your dick but his head stays away from your teets. He instead reaches over to grab the milking machine, two suction cups attached to a large, sterile tank. “I want to make you feel better baby, but this will do a better job than I can.”

Normally you'd fight back, always preferring Orias mouth to the impersonal cups, but you’ve got gallons stored up and he’s only one demon. It’s the one bit of logic your addled brain can manage.

“O-okay.” You hiccup, brushing away the tears as you present your chest. Orias' experience helps him attach the machine with only one hand. Once attached, he turns his focus on your other milker.

Your head gets thrown back as Orias settles onto his knees, taking tentative licks of your cock. The milking machine is helping relieve some pressure, but this hint of stimulation has you mooing louder than ever.

“Oooooh.” You sigh as Orias licks a long stripe up your shaft, smacking his lips with the taste of your prized semen. Your cock jerks in against his lips, some more spurting onto his cheeks. He swipes it off and into the bucket. “Need it, please. Need to be milked.”

Your balls are hot and heavy in Orias hands, your musk almost intoxicating. It’s what sends him over the edge and has him finally, finally, swallow down your cock. His tongue lathers up the semen, spit dripping down his jaw as he takes you all the way to the base. You toss your head back in a moan.

“Yes! Yes!” Bushy fur presses up against Orias nose as you grab onto his horns and buck, balls slapping against the bottom of his chin as you ride out in his mouth. Your pent up hormones and his tongue are enough for you already to be near the brink. “Fu-uck.” You pant, tongue lolled out like a dog as your first orgasm hits, shooting straight into the back of Orias throat. You can see his nostrils flare and his eyes go wide, but this isn’t his first rodeo. He knows one won’t be enough, could never be enough, so he swallows the whole load without complaint.

You take a couple seconds, catching your breath and giving your thighs a break, but Orias tongue doesn’t. He keeps you hard with his long tongue encircling you in his mouth, the tip just reaching your balls. It’s all you need to kick start another fire in your belly, to ache for that sensation again.

Your thrusts are a little slower but no less desperate, the lessening pain meaning you can fully enjoy Orias’ skills. 

“S-so deep.” You stutter, transfixed by the site of your dick going in and out of Orias’ mouth. His bright yellow eyes finally meet yours, a twinge going up your back and straight into your stomach.  You find yourself lost in them, not even realizing how Orias’ hands crawl up your backside, pullin apart your asscheeks until-

“Ah!” You jerk Orias all the way down to your base when the first finger sinks into your asshole, sweat and cum making it glide in with little issue. It’s nice, but Orias know you need more, using your momentary shock to slip in a second and a third. That tingly feeling moves down all the way to your hooves, your tail now jerking back and forth like a happy dog. 

Orias scissors his finger soutward, stretching your whole and it's like your brain is being scrambled. Your nerves are firing, not sure to hump into Orias mouth or to ride his fingers like a dildo. Luckily he makes the decision for you, pulling you all the way to the tip and then forcing himself back down on your cock. At the same time, his fingers reach your prostate, matching his slobbery blowjob’s tempo to that of his hand. All you can do is let the pleasure carry you, knuckles gripped tight onto his horns just hoping not to pass out.

“Gonna cum again!” You're able to finally moo out, eyes nearly crossed. It doesn’t do anything to halt Orias pace, his lips curling into a grin as you reach a higher plane of existence. It’s almost too much, so good, so good, so good-

“O-oh!” The second orgasm hits you like a brick to the face; if the first was like a firecracker, then this was an explosion. Your whole lower body tenses, assshole tightening as your cock gushes cum. Orias, slightly more prepared, swallows some yet holds the rest in his mouth. When you finally collapse to your knees, he spits the rest in the cum bucket, wiping off the excess and flicking it in there too.

You hardly remember the milking machine detaching, or yoru shorts benign plled back up. Your face is smushed into Orias’ chest, his large hands rubbing soothing circles into your abc.

“There, there, that's a good little cow, huh?”

You nod, still utterly cock drunk. You don’t notice Orias flicking the lights off, a full-body exhaustion hitting you like a train.

The heat doesn’t bother you for the rest of the night.

[chainelunaire]

how they would behave on a leash

kaeya: unless it’s a some sexual thing, he won’t be doing it willingly. you can try to trap him. be careful tho, now he is very determined to put you on a leash. you’ll see no end of this embarrassment. 

albedo: behaves very well. introduces you to his siblings which are sweet evil puppies, aka rifthounds. watches your expression carefully. asks if he behaves well enough or you want to stop. you probably should want to stop at this point. no leash is gonna help you my dear.

venti: good luck catching him, this ain’t gonna happen.

diluc: he tries not to lose the last parts of his dignity, but he actually might bark once or twice. 

tartaglia: was born to be on a leash. embraces it like that was what he needed to finally become what he truly is. the mad dog. try to put on a muzzle, he’ll be thrilled. 

zhongli: in no world he would let anyone put him on a leash are you joking. 

xiao: has an absolutely tragic history of biting people’s heels. needs to be pet frequently. pat pat on a head for the best boy.

thoma: why did you do that to him? no, like, seriously? is there any reason? no? jail.

kazuha: is very confused, but not opposed to that idea. will play along. at some point it’s you who ends up being on a leash. slimy motherfucker.

goro: he would try to kill you in your sleep for that. to prevent it, you need to make sure the leash is strong enough and is also short. you might hear him howling at night. it’s full moon. so cold in here, so lonely...

itto: another one being absolutely thrilled. at some point you start to feel a little guilty. free him. some creatures was just born to live in a wild.

ayato: will shout ‘there’s a cow in the sky!’ and when you turn your head back to him asking what the fuck was that there’s no cow in the sky, he’s already gone. you won’t see him in inazuma for good few months. economics of rito island will collapse. i hope you’re proud of yourself.

scaramouche: he’s a bit of a danger to society himself, so there’s an actual reason behind it all. a muzzle is a must, or he’ll bite your head off. apart from about 127 attempts at murder, he’s been doing just great.

dottore: is excited, but you need to buy more leashes, then we’ll talk.

kaveh: he’ll sell your leash and you to dori. from now on you’ll become the guard dog of alcazarzaray. great deal.

tighnari: don’t even come near him, he’ll bite your fingers off and say it’s your own fault. can’t see where he’s wrong. 

cyno: yet another one being all game. will take you everywhere with him. not an ounce of a shame in his body. you’ll regret it deeply, after about 10 hours in a desert. you need to beg him to stop moving. you poor little thing, be careful with what you wish for.

al-haitham: an absolute dream, peace and quiet. not because of the way he behaves, because his behaviour is poor so to say, but because he’s finally on a leash. finally no annoying lectures bc he has to figure out how to free himself. you have about 34 seconds to rest.

[mr-laveau]

finally got the chance to listen to your redacted oc audio..and...I wants casey. he took my heart 😔

oh, you poor sweet fool, you've fallen for my trap, now be subject to random Casey facts!/lh/j

Casey's pack is mostly made up of cow/bull breeds as wolves do not exist in the caribbean and bovines are honestly fuckin cool. Technically they should be called a herd but socially you just call a group of shifter a pack in my head.

Casey and Lovely are friends in the way of "this is really fucking dangerous and we probably shouldn't do it...let's do it anyways tho". Very sad day when Lovely stopped showing up to classes and despite what canon indicates, I like to think Lovely still goes to those classes even if under different circumstances.

Casey in my head only started seeing Milo, Asher and David after the inversion since they had the commonality of all being in the ward but they met after members of the Shaw pack started leaving and roles had to be filled in the company. They were originally hired to be a secretary.

Casey and Dollface actually do share a class together and it's DAMN 101 with Lasko, yes, now they're both oggling the professor and whispering about it to each other.

[ngray192]

Ok, Chaos Theory came out and I watched ALL OF IT.

So, I'm gonna share every thought I had while watching, with no context whatsoever!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!

• Brooklyn is already dead ig

• The animation is beautiful

• Darius to the rescue!!

• He's so grown up

• Hes still so Darius

• Sammy would be proud

• This animation is gorgeous omg

• He took mannerisms from his friends omg

• Allosaurus killed Brooklyn!!!?!?

• Omg this show is darker than the first

• His groceries are gonna fly out

• Curse, I know you want to

• Is it a gun gun or tranq gun?

• Omg is he leaving voicemails to Dead Brooklyn??

• Did they get Jenna Ortega back or no?

• He's got a little cabin

• Wtf is that gun??

• Brand!!

• He's like 20 rn?

• CAMP FAM

• Kenji and Darius had a falling out??

• AAAA NEWS VIDEOS

• I miss them

• Someone do the "despite everything it's still you"

• Ok he slayed that electric staff whip tho

• BEN

• He's anxious af

• HES STILL WEARING A FANNY PACK

• God this is so sad wtf

• Ofc there's a site caller Dark Jurassic

• I saw this scene in the clip already

• Teamwork

• That was the whole episode?!

2

• "Aw crud"

• Someone broke the fence

• Why did you park so far away??

• Ofc he drives a van

• The eyessss

• Lockwood Estate mentioned

• Always the logical one

• He wrote down his theories

• Boyfriends??

• "Dork pouch"

• BUMPY DRAEN ON THE WHITEBOARD

• NO HESITATION LMAO

• He's so goofy I love him

• Facial expressions on point

• SHE SENDS CARE PACKAGES

• "Yee-haw"

• Do they only have one picture of them all?

• It's a female voice??

• Oh it was Brooklyn

• They didn't even try to make her sound the same

• I don't like her hair

• She's still Brooklyn

• Isn't that the plot of someone's fanfic on the Discord??

• Someone's gonna read that scene as romantic

• Ben is a reckless driver god damn

• Where are they that they can drive to Texas easily?

• Move dino move!!

• No rear view mirror doesn't sound safe

• Let this boy pee

• BENJAMIN

• He's so done with him

• Hes giving season 4 episode 2

• Boyfriends??

• NERDS

• OMG FIRE

• Hero Ben!!

• Ew the face

• Camp fammmmm

• THE HEAT WAVES this animation is everything

• We get different end-credits every ep??

3

• Cows!

• "Chip me"

• He's so happy to see the ranch

• The ranch is so Sammy

• Awww she's so Farm Girl

• She's STRONG

• She got tall lmao

• Bessie had a calf?!?

• Do Yaz and Sammy usually live together?!!

• "Ding-dong"

• NO FUCKING WAY

• ITS BUMPY!!!!!!

• THE PUPILS

• THIS IS EVERYTHING

• Is Mantah Corp back??

• KILL HIM BUMPY

• Boooo Sammy

• Fuck Carl

• She's an herbivore tf

• Me and Ben on the same wavelength fr

• Tell him, Sammy

• Let this girl have her pie

• She's Sammy, but she's grown up a lot

• She still has her jacketttt

• What happened to her???

• She's so saddd

• Why aren't her parents talking to her??

• NOT YAZ PULLING AWAY

• Don't split up!!

• Omg Carl

• Communication through hand signalsss

• That shot with the raptor and the moon tho

• We haven't had many cute moments yet, it's really about survival now, they've really grown up

• Not the pieeee

• The genuine fear in her eyes holy shit

• BUMPY

• No more Beanie Ben

• So now he has a rear view mirror

• This reminds me a lot of Jurassic Park 2

4

• This episode is titled Brothers

• Season 3 episode 7 vibes

• I love how Ben loves Bumpy

• Their faces are so close

• BENJAMIN

• HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

• Fucking liar lmao

• Does Kenji blame him???

• THEY STILL GLOW

• God I cannot get over the animation

• Poor boy kenji???

• The kick lmao

• He almost sounds like Ryan Porter

• He's not the tallest anymoreeee

• Benji???

• He doesn't act like Kenji 100% but it's still there

• I miss Ryan Porter

• Another framed photo!!

• They use the words "death" and "dead" a lot, but not "died" or "killed"

• DANIEL KON?!??!

• Yes, go get your girl

• Ok but Sammy and Ben are so Mom and Dad

• Good thing he just had spare gear???

• Oh it's probably for Brooklyn

• That shot he looked so much like Little Darius

• Oh no they broke up, so sad 😐

• Woah

• Valid reason to break up

• He's completely valid for being mad idc

• NOOO DONT GET BUMPY

5

• COMPIES

• Ofc he loves this kind of music

• You guys are supposed to be family tho

• DAMN THATS COLD

• EVERY WEEK I love Kenji

• "Love you" awwww

• She's so sassy I love her

• The head sway omgggg

• The carobbbb

• These background characters are way too hyped for this

• Bobby Nublar?

• Awww poor baby dino

• Free the dinos!!

• Oh he got OLD

• Damn straight in there

• She's so hurt :(

• He only thought Sammy was suspicious

• Creepy ass big ass forehead bitch

• Daniel Kon is a LIAR

• We should've gotten Kenji speaking Japanese in JWCC

• Love sassy Kenji

• "Yeah ok, I'll get my violin" GIRL

• Omg he almost punched Ben

• Yesss Sammy beat the shit out of him

• Those are the smallest corn dogs ever

• You're a shit dad

• What?! Brooklyn would never

• Kenji and I are on the same wavelength

• Different? Was it her voice?

• Are those lillies?

• These bitches are everywhere

• Kill Daniel

• He's old af hes about to have a heart attack anyway

• DAWG WHO TF ARE YOU

• CREEPY ASS BITCH

• Shitttt Daniel tackled that raptor

• Holy shit they killed Kenji's dad

• She's so fucking creepy omg

• I hope she's not from Dominion cause I haven't watched that

• Who's driving the car???!

6

• YAZ

• She's coping!!

• She wants to make it work!!!

• Ok but the crop top on Yaz???

• THE PICTURE ON HER PHONE

• Ben is everything this season

• "Love you too" AWWWW

• Where is there an island in Wyoming??

• She's so nervous/excited

• They're perfect together

• "Fadoula"

• She's happy here. Writers, let her be happy

• "Benny-boy"

• She's so geeky

• "Your favorite"

• They're all the same but so grown up

• Ben's scream lmao

• BENS SO SUPPORTIVE

• So Brooklyn has been dead less that 14 months

• They're both valid in this argument

• Ok but Ben and Yaz friendshipppp

• Is Ben actually dating someone??

• Ooo that's a cool dino

• Omg this show is darker than the og

• How did she walk so far??

• Yaz holding Ben's arm is cute tho

• Girlfriendssss

• BIG BEN

• Dumbass DPW

• Wtf??

• Omg

7

• Therapy girlfriend to the rescue

• Omg I forgot about Darius and Kenji

• Noooo baby boy Kenji

• Wow 2 major deaths already

• God I love Ben

• I feel like they should've drowned by now

• They held hands while swimming up

• Aw he has a daughter

• He lowkey sounds like Ryan Porter

• Idc about this Brooklyn death backstory

• Sammy looks fucking crazy in their one picture of the 6

• Ben 3rd wheeling just like all of season 5

• Their heads SLAMMED together

• He's so weird about this car lmao

• The car scene is funny

• They're in Colorado now??

• This hill is STEEP

• He's been waiting to throw those phones for DAYS

• Why tf would he be coming with you?

• Why did I believe the voicemail?? I saw her phone get ruined

• Darius CALM DOWN let kenji have at least something about Brooklyn DAMN

• Dude this mystery is DEEP

8

• Reminds me of Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom

• Gonna barf because of this "bwookie bear" scene

• He always has been a bad liar

• Sammy is physically fight for EVERYBODY'S lives

• Omg we're actually doing the Darius×Brooklyn plot??

• So that means no Ben×Darius plot???

• BUMPY (again)

• What did they do to you, Bumps???

• "Oh heyyyy" "boo" I LOVE THEM

• I love a good chase scene

• If a car can just drive through it, that fence was shit

• Nobody does a stampede like this show does

• Lots of death (even if they're all cutaways)

9

• God I'm flying through this show

• The heartbeating is EVERYTHING

• Anxious girlfriends

• More good camerawork and angles

• Ofc they'd be good at charades

• Are there still no male dinosaurs?

• Big Eatie mentioned

• "Ok I get it, you're a climber"

• Oh are Camp Fam at the same place?

• She's sick???

• If Bumpy dies I'll kms

• Why is he just carrying a stick?

• GIRL STOP KICKING THINGS

• I love reunions

• No cause why am I sad

• Did he call her "MICROBANGS"

• They're still the same kids from the island and I love that

• Once again, they're so Mom and Dad

• Is she in labor?!?!?!

• YOU CANNOT SCARE US LIKE THAT

• What're they gonna name the egg?!??!

10

• Last episodeeee

• Oh shit we used the word "killed"

• His hat is so tall

• Omg he shocked Ben

• Benji?

• We have so much to wrap up in 23 minutes

• This is lowkey scary

• This is so suspenseful

• She looks familiar

• THE FIRST PERSON SHOTS IN THISSSS

• Is she just dead then???

• Toro!!

• THE EXPLOSION BEHIND THE T-REX IM SORRY THAT WAS AWESOME

• THEY'RE ADORABLE

• The slow-motion scene is so cool

• Coolest dino fight ever

• FUCKING CREEPY BITCH

• Awww she's bonding? with her guard-raptors? I don't care

• Wait is that it??

• They better make another season

• Everyone's so happy for Darius being in love

• She didn't feel the same?! THATS why he didn't show???

• I fucking knew she was still alive

• SHE LOST AN ARM?!

• Her hair got even worse

• So we're getting another season???

[gabessquishytum]

Thinking about warprize cat!dream having king cow!Hob's bigheaded baby.

Cats do tend to hide when it's their time is it not? So I imagined Dream slinking (waddling) through the corridors when he feels the first twinge, and suddenly he feels like he has to press close to the wall. Everything is just so vast and open, TOO vast and open, and it makes him extremely uncomfortable. Cow architecture is made to fit many people at once because they're extremely sociable, high ceilings, big rooms, big windows, big everything. Dream feels slightly nauseous, even if it didn't bother him before.

So he hurries through the castle, searching for something, not quite knowing himself for what exactly, when he gets closer to the servants areas and happens upon the first (huge, built-in) linen closet.

In the blink of an eye, Dream is inside and curled up. It's narrow, dark, soft, and smells good, and the best thing is that nobody's around.

This changes of course when, a few hours later, the contractions get worse and he can't keep quiet anymore. Also the whole castle is searching for him because he just kinda vanished.

The first poor servant who tries to open the closet gets their face full of claws. The light hurts Dream's eyes (and he's hurting enough already, thank you) and also he needs to be safe.

Through the haze and his own pained sounds Dream can hear more people arrive and then leave again, and then there's a soft, soothing voice, reassuring him that nobody's gonna disturb him, that that is gonna be okay.

It's Hob. Hob sits himself in front of the closet and keeps watch, and talks the whole time to keep Dream grounded (and has a hard time not opening the doors himself with all the sounds coming out).

He's rewarded when, after a particularly nasty hour of screaming, he's tugged into the closet by a weak paw, the doors shutting behind him.

His eyes have a hard time adjusting to the dark and the air is thick with the smell of amniotic fluid and sweat and blood, and then something squirming and slimy and warm is pressed into his arms. Hob's entire existence screeches to a halt the first time their child drinks from him.

He's kinda lost to the world, cradling them in one arm, Dream in the other, half asleep and drinking from his other teat.

That's probably why, when someone tentatively tries to open the closet again, he decidedly shoves it closed again with his foot.

(The linens are kinda ruined, tho. But that's a price Hob is absolutely willing to pay.)

(🦒 anon was kind enough to let me know that this one came from them!)

I absolutely adore this idea. And God do I feel bad for Dream. However many months of carrying Hob’s huge baby have truly done a number on him already, and he's so ready to not be pregnant!!!! He'd dearly love to be back in the cat kingdom now. They tend to set up special nooks and crannies like catperson sized cardboard boxes for their pregnant individuals to retreat to when the time comes. Cat midwifes are also very "hands off" - nobody interferes unless there's a serious problem. To be honest, Dream wouldn't mind a helping hand just to haul the baby out by it's adorable little horns. But he knows that it's best to let nature take its course.

The labour is worth it in the end, because the baby is perfect. Dream even finds himself thinking that another one wouldn't be so bad. The sight of their little one suckling enthusiastically from Hob is truly one that Dream will never forget (and he is very grateful that his husband is a portable source of milk, because he really needs it right now).

Hob finally emerges from the closet hours later with the baby latched on firmly to his teat, and a very exhausted Dream wrapped around him like a deflated serpent. At this point he's thinking that they'll just remodel the closet into a birthing suite... because the way Dream keeps looking at their newborn so adoringly, he gets the feeling that it won't be the last time it's needed!

[cowboymeemaw]

aint nothing jolly about this cowboy, look at the economy I'm poor 😿

thinks about the cowboys… the happy cowboys… that have animals… ranchers perhaps… jolly ranchers…

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Ok, I've had this idea in my head for WEEKS

(Sagau) what if creator just nonchalantly told the characters (archons (including nahida(platonic ofc)))

that they were pushed in a campfire as a kid? (God this is so random please save me)

^ mmm Pyro brain go burrr

#nothoughtsheadempty

READER WAS WHAT?!

OHOHOHOHO, @royalrose2011, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOWN. THEIR ACOLYTE CAREERS SHALL BE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN >:)

(Disclaimers: Might be OOC!)

Venti

Man would be concerned as frick. How—no, why would someone push you into a campfire of all things?! Were they not concerned for all the hazards it could've brought?

"Your Grace, you were pushed into A WHAT?!" Man will be praying to the Almighty Creator (aka you) that what you just said was just a prank—or maybe he heard it wrong.

But once you confirm it, this man is throwing all dignity into the wind (get it?) and about to hunt down these dudes who decide to throw you into a fire.

It takes all of your will to stop him from committing arson in your world, knowing you have no control over the government :')

Zhongli

He's more worried if you were hurt from the incident than worrying about morons who don't know what's dangerous or not.

"Your Grace, are you unharmed from such an incident?" Constantly checking over you to make sure you're unharmed whenever he gets the chance. He might not be exactly free all the time, but he can certainly make sure you are protected.

Guy will use every excuse in the book to make sure you are shielded. Whether literally or metaphorically, that depends on the situation.

Once this guy sees your hurt, expect to be walking behind you like some sort of bodyguard for a good few months.

Raiden Ei

Both worried and enraged. Who dares to hurt the Almighty Creator, going so far to have the audacity to push them into a campfire?!

"You need not worry, Your Grace—I will ensure you that these traitors deem no threat to you any longer." Even though it's probably been years since this incident, here's the archons, taking it seriously. Ei is not an exception—she will literally hunt the people who pushed you into that campfire.

Would see no end until she's killed the traitors, even though you're basically trying to convince her otherwise. It was years ago—you've gotten over it! Besides, you weren't dead!

She is not taking any of your excuses, so be prepared to pin her down when she does realize and see those traitors. No one shall stop her pursue of vengeance for the Almighty Creator!

Nahida

Very very worried and is practically hoping you weren't hurt.

"Your Grace, why would they push you into the campfire? Don't they know how dangerous it is?" Doesn't really like the fact that mortals do this to one another, let alone the Almighty Creator.

Poor bean is very worried about you so now you must reassure her that you are fine whenever you go off on long trips, travels, etc.

And that's about it! Sorry if it isn't to your liking, but that's all I got lol :')

See you all around!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO MAKE THIS! MY MOTIVATION DIED ON ME SOBBING. I HOPE YOU GUYS STILL ENJOYED IT THO!

AND HOLY COW, TYSM FOR 200+ FOLLOWERS 😭 YALL ARE AMAZING!

Check Out The Ghost Rebel's Blog Description to See if Their Mailbox is Open!

[itscontinental]

Q #1960

Hallo again were in love, have we sayed it too? in love in love with something new; have we sayed it? god is real and we always new that he was real but we thout that maybe he was like the same as santa or same as public pools.

those are different reasons, but we don't really want to tell you.

But god is nothing like public pools and Santa and Jesus are friends when they are both in paradise and they are so happy for all the poor people and hungry people and ones who also just need Jesus or a bysicle or both of them which they can have both: bysicles for poor people and money and food and money for the hungry people too.

God is something like Santa but we didn't tell some body big and mine at Christmas time or send him a letter (to santa) at Christmas time too. there is no one big at all, not even a skinny one for us to ask for or pull on their sleeves even tho I am old but anyway that's not why we wanted to talk to you.

we want to talk that we did not tell a thing that we want letter to Santa, how how ever I did pray to Jesus who died on the cross ( and who happens to be SO friends with Santa ) for things to be better and not be a hurting all of the time and how to find friends and get better at not want to get off while you are getting just threw or trying to just getting across.

and guess what you guessed it. Have we already sayed it? Oh well if we sayed it we are in love and have we already sayed with who? we will say then this is with who which is with them which is is every one which is with you and you and yes I am in love--have we sayed it already too? I can say it but only I can say because its a secret that I am in love because I am only in love with you;

Breakfast is back and even at night or even in the afternoon and

we are in love and you must axept that and also you must axept that that means you

Breakfast is back and even at night and cooking up something big and new;

This here above is grass up here for cows who go moo moo moo

Breakfast is back but here is some grass if you just need something to chew or for sleeping if you are sleepy, grass can doo that too! can you beleif it, Continental Breakfast:

it all comes with the room!

[magicicephoenix]

OH MY GOD HII!!!

‘twas i the whole time :) i have found you now

YOU EVIL PERSON!!

Y O U ! ! !

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR THE PAST 45 MINUTES!!!

What once was a friendly game of hide & seek on @pillowspace ‘s whiteboard has turned into an all out war.

[shadesoflsk]

I don't know where I'm going with this but here's a headcanon I've got about Leon

I've always seen him as an animal person. Like the kind of guy to find a stray cat coming home late at night and just take them with him without a second thought. He'll show up at your door, with this poor animal wrapped up in his jacket and either you'll get the whole "well, we now have a new pet, babe!" or he'll 'hide' it from you and he'll walk in as if nothing is different… meanwhile his jacket is meowing. ("What are you talking about... I always meow when I see you...?")

I also see him trying to do that with an animal he can't hide in his jacket (queue him walking into the house with his jacket tossed over the back of this giant dog walking beside him, acting like the dog is hidden).

If he had it his way he'd take everyone home. After dealing with the infected dogs in Raccoon city he'd probably be a lot more hesitant with dogs but I still see him trying to help any strays even if he doesn't try to take them home. (Especially if he knows he can't do it himself, he'll still take it upon himself to find someone who can.)

Pleaseeee this is so cute 😭😭😭

And yeah! He'd definitely be an animal person, like that man has so much love to give he has to show it to little animals too.

I can see him as a cat owner tho. A scruffy cat dad by the way. He'd treat it like a child of his own, special food and days off just for the little kitten.

It would be difficult for him to deal with dogs after what happened back in Raccoon City but he'd try to help them as much as he can even if he doesn't take them home as you said! Maybe he'd be a volunteer at a shelter, slowly approaching them. With baby steps, he gets better :)

And to conclude, I can see him as a farmer when he gets older and wants to retire. He'd love his cows, horses and pigs! Leon’s love knows no limits haha.

[training4theapocalypse]

On Her Majesty’s Supersonic Service (Adrian Chase x Reader) Ch. 4

Chapter 4 No Time to Cry

Rating: Explicit - 18+ only

Word Count: 9.9K

Warnings: SMUT (less than usual tho), Plot with a little bit of porn, Mostly fluff, Moving the plot along, Romance, Descriptions of murder, Descriptions of violence, Descriptions of injury, P in V, Praise, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: It’s time to kill the cow. Adebayo reveals two secrets. Adrian is being Adrian and having the best time mass-murdering butterflies.

A/N: IT'S EARLY!! This is mostly plot and I am obsessed with tying things into canon. There’s some pretty graphic injury description and some totally made-up medical bullshit that I hope you can get past. Thanks so much to @stealsteels for your encouragement to get me over the finish line.

Tagging because I think you might like it: @ladymacbeth1987 , @likeficsinthewnd

Masterlist

Chapter text:

The van is gone from the motel car park, and all signs of Peacemaker and Economos have gone with it. 

“Go with the others. I’ll find Peacemaker.”

The sun still hasn’t risen but the orange glow of the streetlights is bright enough for Adrian to see you chewing your lip worriedly in the passenger seat of his car.

“Unless we hear different, stick to the plan. We’ll meet at the ranch.” His earnest green eyes meet yours. “I promise.”

You breathe deeply to calm your nerves. Usually, you’re exhilarated before a mission- ready to fight. But that was before you had something to lose. 

“C’mon, it’ll be great! We’ll kill the cow, dish out the same ass-kicking as usual, and drive off into the sunset.”

You’re unconvinced. 

“Like Thelma and Louise!”

Now you’re even less convinced. You pull out your phone and text him.

Blackbird: You know they kill themselves at the end of that movie, right? xx

His phone pings, and he reads your message. “What? No way!”

Blackbird: There’s a freeze frame as they drive their car into the Grand Canyon xx

“I don’t think so. I think their car took off and started flying away like at the end of Grease.”

You raise your eyebrows but don’t argue any further. Instead, you study every detail of his profile hungrily as he enthusiastically tells you how the movie’s ending can be perceived differently. His curly hair, still a little messy from spending the night in the sleeping bag, the dimples at the corners of his mouth when he smiles, the way he adjusts his wire rimmed glasses- you try to memorise it all.

You lean over to kiss him goodbye. You grip the chest plate of his suit, pulling him closer to you. You try and put a lot of meaning into the kiss- words left unspoken that you probably wouldn’t have the emotional capacity to vocalise even if you physically could. An assurance that you’ll meet later. A promise that you’ll both live long enough to see tomorrow.

You pull back before he does, preemptively avoiding the possibility of getting lost in the kiss. His face is lit up with excitement.

“We’re saving the world- it’s gonna be fun! Well, for me. I know this is, like, your day job.” 

He points at a billboard across the street displaying an array of supercars- Evergreen Exotic Car Rentals. “And then that’ll be you and me tomorrow, cruising down the highway in a Corvette.”

You give him what you hope is an optimistic smile- even though your insides are squirming. Then, you climb out of his car and walk quickly towards your motel without looking back so you don’t have to watch his Sebring drive off into the dawn.

As you pass Adebayo’s room, you can distinctly hear the sound of her and Harcourt in a heated argument. Just what we need at 5 am on the day of the mission. 

You knock on the door. 

“Who is it?” comes Harcourt’s aggressive bark.

Slowly, you open the door and peer around the corner. Harcourt and Adebayo look relieved at your familiar face for a split second before turning on each other again. 

“You were gonna lone-shooter the poor bastard?” Harcourt demands.

“He has a history of instability and conspiratorial beliefs. Couple that with violent outbursts- he was the best choice of the two options.” 

Your eyes dart between the two of them. What the fuck is going on?

Harcourt sees your confusion. “Adebayo did it. She planted the diary in Peacemaker’s trailer.”

Adebayo?

“That’s why Peacemaker was chosen in the first place,” says Adebayo by way of explanation.

“And that’s it?” asks Harcourt. “Cut the shit and tell her who else was chosen expressly for this mission.”

No. Your stomach drops. Adrian was just a tag-along- he wasn’t even meant to be part of this team. 

Adebayo tosses a book in your direction which you catch mid-air. 

A black, leather-bound notebook with the UK Government coat of arms embossed on the front in silver. 

Not Adrian. 

Hands trembling, you open it up. There’s your name written on the inside cover in your handwriting. 

You flick through, eyes skimming over pages upon pages of diary entries. Conspiracies about a secret society of aliens in America controlling Her Majesty’s Secret Service and how you’re going to eradicate them yourself. Paragraphs about how you’re not in control of your powers. All easily corroborated with dates and times of places you’ve been, emails you’ve sent and texts to your boss. 

Your eyes sting as you read how they’ve described your loneliness since your accident. Some of it they got right. How much you hate having powers (even if they are useful), how you wish you could talk again and how, more than anything, all you want is someone to confide in. It seals the narrative of a very unwell, isolated woman who’d be desperate enough to commit mass murder.

They really did do the thing properly. You had always assumed MI6 had access to your messages, but you honestly have to applaud the handwriting expert- it’s uncanny.

But… Adebayo? You swallow the lump in your throat and look at her pleadingly. Tell me it isn’t true.

She shakes her head.

“You were the preferred choice. Win-win for MI6 and A.R.G.U.S. MI6 lets you take the blame for the murders; they stage an inquest into the actions of a single employee and get off lightly. Nobody needs to find out how close we came to being invaded by the butterflies. And in return, they get rid of a renegade agent.”

Get rid of? Wait… renegade? You look up and try to catch her eye. What does she mean by that?

“Waller, on the other hand…” Adebayo continues to look away uncomfortably. “Waller keeps A.R.G.U.S out of it completely and gets herself a new member of the Suicide Squad.”

This was never a mission to win the favour of MI6 again. You were their scapegoat. And to Amanda Waller - a new weapon.

You lower yourself onto Adebayo’s sofa in shock.

“They were your fucking friends.” Harcourt’s tone is the coldest you’ve ever heard her. “How did you choose? How could you possibly manage to choose which soldier to sell to Waller?”

“It wasn’t a choice- it could only be Peacemaker because Blackbird’s story didn’t make any fucking sense anymore!”

Adebayo looks between you, like it’s obvious.

“Everyone’s seen the way she’s been skipping around with Vigilante. Everyone in this team has seen you guys literallyscrewing around. The texts don’t match the diary anymore.” She looks at you sadly. “Before you met Vigilante, the last message you sent that wasn’t about work was over a month ago. And it was your fucking landlord!”

Before you can hide it, a single tear runs down your cheek as you stare at her in disbelief.

Of course. Now your messages are filled with flirting and two little x’s. And there’s fun and laughter in the 11th Street Kids group chat. No evidence that would hold up at an inquest.

Adrian… Adrian inadvertently stopped you from being thrown into jail with a nano bomb implanted in the base of your neck. And Harcourt made it all possible by adding you to that group.

Air. You need to leave.

You gesture to Harcourt, excusing yourself. Then, you open the door and are face-to-face with Murn. 

“Guess what? Adebayo planted Peacemaker’s diary and had another ready for Blackbird to take the fall,” Harcourt calls over your shoulder.

“Only because my mother made me!”

What the…?

“Holy fuck! Your mother is Amanda Waller?”

“Yes, I figured her mother had her do it,” says Murn. 

You give Murn a curt nod and blow past him, not waiting to hear the rest of the conversation. You can’t process this right now. You need to call your boss and have her tell you straight.

Your boss. 

As you descend the motel stairs, it dawns on you that she hasn’t messaged you once since you landed in Washington. She doesn’t want the paper trail to show she knows you’re here.

What a cunt.

You let out a small groan of frustration, setting off a car alarm. You head around the back of the motel and video-call her. It rings out.

Blackbird: You were going to Suicide Squad me?!

The message is marked as read. She doesn’t respond.

Blackbird: Fuck you.

You grip your phone and consider throwing it against the wall but then-

BANG. BANG. BANG. 

The unmistakable sound of gunshots coming from the motel startles you. 

You pull your gun out and tiptoe back around the corner. Police cars- three of them. Silently you watch as half a dozen butterflies in police officers’ bodies exit Adebayo’s room.

Not good.

Your finger hovers over the trigger. You’re reasonably confident you could take them all on your own… but you heard three gunshots - you have no idea if Murn, Adebayo and Harcourt are even alive. As far as you know, you could be the last one left to take down the cow.

Then you see her. Detective Song. The queen who used to be Goff. The one who brutally tortured Adrian. Blinding rage vibrates through your very being as you leap out from your hiding spot and scream at the top of your lungs.

A sonic shockwave is sent across the car park- several butterflies are sent flying backwards. Song manages to sprint out of reach and yells for the others to cover her.

“You tried to cut off my boyfriend’s toe, you bitch!”

You’re going to torture her, you decide. And you’re going to enjoy it.

The shockwave sends debris flying across the car park, and you hear the sound of the windows on the ground floor of the motel shattering. The fear in Song’s eyes as she watches you walking towards them spurs you on. The atmosphere above shifts as you breathe in and let out another ear-splitting scream. 

The heads of the three nearest butterflies explode into bloody pulps. Parked cars are blasted into the air and come down violently onto the concrete, narrowly missing the remaining butterflies. 

Song turns and runs for her life. You’re quick on her heels but are thwarted when you need to duck and cover behind an overturned car as her associates start firing at you. The three of them run towards a police car in the distance, shooting over their shoulders. 

Fuck.

You jump out from behind the car and chase after them, as fast as possible. But it’s too late. The engine of the police car starts, and rubber squeals on the road as they speed off into the distance. 

“Oh my god, my car...” says Adebayo.

“And mine...” echoes Harcourt sounding shell-shocked. 

They’re alive. You whip round to face them. They don’t look good- Adebayo has a gash on her forehead, Harcourt’s nose is bloody, and her face is streaked with tears. 

“We heard you screaming but our hands were tied with Judomaster. And Murn…” She chokes and blinks up at the sky. “Murn’s dead.”

Your hand flies to your mouth, and you point at the motel room. Judomaster killed Murn?

“It was Goff. I mean, Song,” says Adebayo.

Harcourt takes a moment to compose herself and straighten her jacket. “We need to find the others. None of them are answering their phones. But what are we gonna do?” She looks at the overturned cars. “Get some Uber driver to go around aimlessly looking for them?”

The three of you look around the parking lot despairingly until your eyes fall on a billboard in the distance. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The road stretches out ahead as the three of you speed your way towards Peacemaker’s trailer- the guys still aren’t picking up, but you’ve got to start looking somewhere.

Your phone is connected to the Corvette’s sound system and you blast Stop by the Spice Girls through the speakers. This is the best thing you’ve ever used your MI6 expenses account for.

The car’s roof is down, and the wind whips your hair as you weave in and out between other cars on the road.

“Slow down! Some of us don’t have a seatbelt back here!”

Adebayo sits in the back hatch behind the two front seats. You’re perfectly happy for her to be uncomfortable, considering she conspired to have you thrown in jail. Maybe fearing for her life will do her some good. 

Harcourt grabs your phone. “I’m gonna call Vigilante. Maybe he won’t ignore your calls.”

The ringing stops your music and comes through the speakers.

“Birdie?” comes Adrian’s voice. He’s still alive. 

“She’s driving. Why haven’t you been answering my calls, asshole?” says Harcourt.

“Did somebody tell her we drive on the right here?”

Harcourt looks at you in exasperation. 

“I hope for your sake he’s better at fucking than using his last two brain cells,” mutters Adebayo. 

“Why haven’t any of you been picking up your phones? And where the hell are you?”

“Well, we’ve been kind of busy murdering Peacemaker’s dad, and now we’re on the way to the vet with Eagly. We should- ow!” You hear him wince in pain, and you look at Harcourt in alarm.

“Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, we just went over a speed bump.” Economos answers now. “Peacemaker is just going through some stuff with his dad, and Eagly’s injured. Vigilante was hit by a grenade-“

A what?! Harcourt notices your knuckles turning white as you grip the steering wheel.

“...Who threw the grenade?” Harcourt sighs pointedly.

There’s a pause at the other end.

“Vigilante-“

“It was intentional!” Adrian cuts across him. “And it was fucking badass- ow! Watch the speedbumps, Economos!” 

“Listen, I’m dropping you the location of the vet. We’re almost there,” says Economos. Your phone pings and the satnav automatically updates.

“10-4,” says Harcourt, as you do a U-turn and speed off in the opposite direction.

“Y’know, we could have just got a four-seater like I suggested,” complains Adebayo when you arrive and open the back hatch. You begrudgingly help her climb out.

Harcourt marches ahead inside the vet,, and Adebayo seizes the opportunity to speak to you privately.

“Blackbird, I…” She chooses her words carefully. “I’m sorry. But I thought I was doing the right thing.”

You whip out your phone and start typing furiously. She watches your screen.

“Okay, okay! Stop with the expletives. And cut the bullshit! It’s fine if you want the others to think you’re the victim here, but I’ve read your file. I know what you’ve done.”

You raise your eyebrow, calling her bluff. Nobody knows. Not even MI6.

“You thought MI6 wouldn't find out that you were gonna double-cross them and sell that jet to a private buyer?”

You freeze. How…?

“And don’t even pretend you didn’t know who the buyer was.”

Now you’re perplexed. Clearly, Adebayo is too straight-laced to understand. So you shake your head and type a new message on your phone.

Blackbird: It’s always better not to know who the buyer is

She kisses her teeth in disapproval. “Wow… and I thought you worked in intelligence? Haven’t you figured out that the buyer was Goff? Who else would need something that big, fast and powerful? Something big enough to transport a giant cow?”

Bloody hell.

“You might be a traitor but lucky for us, you suck at stealing jets. The cow’s been stuck in that barn for over a year while they build their teleporter."

You’re not naive- you knew you weren’t selling a stolen jet to good guys. You thought terrorists or maybe the KGB or, like, Elon Musk. Not a race of aliens trying to take over planet Earth. She watches the regretful realisation dawn on your face.

“Look, B bird, a lot of what they said about you and Peacemaker in those files is true, and when I read them, I thought you both deserved to be in jail… but I think Peacemaker’s changed. And I think there’s a lot of good stuff about you they left out.”

She smiles at you tentatively.

“I actually believe you didn’t know you were stealing that jet for Goff. If we make it out alive, I promise I’ll make it right.”

Honestly, you don’t blame her- you’re sure that your file paints a grim picture. And to top it off, your previous actions would have fucked up the entire mission if you’d been successful.

You extend your hand to shake hers. Adebayo grips it and looks at you with mutual understanding.

“We good?” 

You nod. 

The sound of a fist pounding on glass makes you both whip around.

Adrian is banging on the window from inside the veterinarian’s office with a goofy grin on his face. He points at the car, and you smile and jingle the keys at him in response.

“Fuck yeah!” You see his lips moving from behind the glass. He turns back around, and you can see he’s pointing an assault rifle at something inside. Shit. 

“Thank God you guys are here. Dr Hurwitz kindly stitched up Eagly, and Vigilante's being a total freak,” says Economos when you and Adebayo burst in.

Adrian is pointing a gun at three people in scrubs. There’s a streak of blood down his face, and his suit is badly damaged from the explosion. It gives him an entirely unhinged appearance. 

“Dude, they saw us. Peacemaker and I are wanted.” Adrian turns to look at you. “Blackbird’s not wearing her mask, and MI6 will probably fire her if civilians see her.”

You rush over to Adrian and the vet staff and put a finger to your lips urgently. Stop talking!

“Well, now they know someone called Blackbird from MI6 was here,” Economos sighs.

“Oh, great! Thanks, Economos- now we definitely have to kill them,” says Adrian aiming his gun around you.

“Do we really have to kill these people?” pleads Economos.

Everyone looks at Harcourt. She groans.

“...No. We'll tie them up, and by the time the morning staff comes in, we'll be long gone.”

“They've seen our faces,” says Adrian, still aiming.

“If we can't stop the butterflies today, it won't matter,” she says with finality.

“Okay. But we can't use duct tape. That'll hurt their skin when they try to pull it off. Right Birdie?”

You touch your almost healed lip but then blush deeply when you realise everyone is staring at you. Thanks, Adrian.

“So, you're compassionate about tape but not brutally murdering people?” asks Economos

“...Yes.”

He lowers the gun and grins at you. God, as you come closer, you realise the full extent of his injuries from the grenade blast. Your eyes linger on his suit- the hard exterior chest plate is scratched pretty severely, and his suit has ripped in places, revealing burned bloody tissue across his abdomen and thighs. 

You try to get a better look at the damage, but he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into a hug. He winces in pain. You try to pull back but he just hugs you tighter.

“Worth it,” he groans and kisses the top of your head. 

You pat the countertop, gesturing for him to sit on it, and grab some cotton pads and antiseptic. When you dab the wet cotton pad on the burned skin on his abdomen, the muscles there twitch involuntarily. 

He stifles a moan of pain and it makes you stop what you’re doing to look up at his face. This only causes you to blush again. What’s wrong with me? You bite your lip and try to concentrate on cleaning the debris from his cuts and burns. 

“Hey,” he whispers so only you can hear him. “Are you turned on right now?”

You try to give him a defensive look but it falters when you see the longing in his eyes behind his wire-rimmed glasses. 

We need to make sure you're okay first. You tilt your head sympathetically. His wounds will probably need further attention later so this’ll have to do for now.

When you’re done, you hop up on the counter beside him and type on your phone, letting him read over your shoulder.

Blackbird: It WAS kind of romantic that you were gonna kill those vets for me xx

“Romantic?...Really? You’re more twisted than I thought.” His gloved hand tucks your hair behind your ear. “I can still kill them for you if you want?”

The vets overhear this and look at each other in alarm. You shake your head.

“Hey, what do you say we find an empty exam room and we-“

“Hey, we should get a move on killing this cow,” Adebayo cuts him off as she and Peacemaker return to the room.

“Okay, how do we do this without Murn?” asks Economos.

You all automatically turn to Harcourt. Adrian nods his head towards her in encouragement. She takes a deep breath and dives into an explanation of the plan to get to the barn to kill the cow before the teleportation device is ready.

“…Hopefully, we can make it in there before they make their move,” she finishes.

“I’m in,” says Peacemaker

“Hashtag me too,” says Adrian 

You nod fervently 

“I guess,” says Economos

“Yeah,” adds Adebayo

“Fuck yeah!” says the vet, and one of the nurses cocks a rifle.

“No, I think you need to calm down,” Peacemaker replies. “You’d just die.”

“But we are gonna need to sequester your vehicle out there because somebody rented a sports car with only two seats.” Adebayo looks at you.

“Me and B call the Corvette!” says Adrian as he hops off the counter.

“Fine. But keep up. We’re in a hurry.” Harcourt looks at you directly. “No screwing around.”

As you’re in the middle of typing, ‘We’re not teenagers - we can keep our hands to ourselves’, Adrian blurts “Well, it’s on your conscience that I might die today without ever having sex in a Corvette.”

You delete the message and put your phone away resignedly, rolling your eyes at Adrian.

“Gross dude, that’s a rental,” says Economos as you file out of the veterinarian’s surgery and into the van.

“Surprisingly nice people considering,” says the vet.

“Expect the guy in blue and his girlfriend,” adds one of the nurses.

“Yeah… they’re both a fucking mess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, after an unsuccessful attempt to get Eagly to drop Peacemaker’s sonic boom helmet onto the roof of the barn, you all watch from the bushes in the dark night as Economos goes undercover to place the helmet inside. He’s the only one who Goff wouldn’t recognise.

“Blackbird, when did Goff see you?” asks Peacemaker, confused.

“You should have seen her this morning when she sonic-screamed the butterflies at the hotel. She nearly got Goff,” laughs Adebayo. “You cut off my boyfriend’s toe, you bitch!” 

“Boyfriend? I thought you guys just hooked up!” He turns to Adrian. “I thought you were supposed to share these things with your BFF!”

Pretending to fix your holster, you try hard to avert Adrian’s gaze. You haven’t seen any point in labelling your situationship. But he doesn’t seem phased.

“You tried to kill Goff for me?” Your eyes meet Adrian’s from behind his red visor. “Woah, you were right- that isromantic!”

Just when Economos seems to be in the clear, you hear one of the butterflies on the walkie-talkie yell. There’s sudden chaos outside the barn. 

Oh shit.

You watch as the butterflies swarm him. Adebayo fumbles with her walkie-talkie.

“Activate sonic boom!”

You hear the first explosion, and the barn starts tumbling down. The butterflies leave Economos and start running towards the barn. 

“Activate sonic boom,” she says again. Another sonic wave decimates the barn-  the blast radius sends dozens of butterflies flying back.

There’s one more blast as Adebayo triggers the sonic boom again, and you wait, but the barn doesn’t crash into the depths below, where you know the cow is hidden.

“Yep, that's it for the charges.” Peacemaker pulls on his other helmet.

“We need you to stay here, Ads. If something happens to us, you're the only hope,” says Harcourt.

“The fuck am I?” mutters Economos, offended.

“What's the plan, man?” Adrian asks.

“We’re gonna get into the barn-” Peacemaker gestures to himself and you “- Blackbird’s gonna scream at the cow, then we’re gonna try and find a way out.”

“That’s suicide,” says Adebayo

You type a message on your phone and show Adrian, who reads it out loud.

“She says she and Peacemaker will probably end up in the Suicide Squad anyway. They’ll do it,” he says, mildly confused.

You and Peacemaker exchange meaningful looks. 

“Let's go kill a cow,” he says.

You, Peacemaker, Harcourt and Adrian hop over the fence and start running towards the barn.

The atmosphere cracks as you inhale deeply and scream. It bursts the heads of a small group of butterflies running at you.

The four of you start firing, and it draws the attention of even more butterflies towards you. 

Adrian laughs as he unleashes a massacre on your opponents. He’s in his element. Sometimes he’s such a goofball you forget how fucking good he is in combat.

“On your right, Birdie!” Shit. You take cover from the bullets behind a haystack.

Adrian brings out a machete and cuts down foe after foe. A group of butterflies round on him, and you leap over the haystack and yell, sending them flying back from him He gives you a quick nod before stomping on a butterfly crawling out of one of their heads.

“Blackbird, Chris- go! We’ll hold them off here!” yells Harcourt.

You and Peacemaker make a break for it.

“Fuck, yeah!” You hear Adrian shout behind you- he’s genuinely having fun wielding a machete in one hand and a handgun in the other.

As you reach the barn stairs, one of the butterflies almost catches Peacemaker. Adrian plants the machete directly in his skull.

“Don’t fuck with my BFF!” yells Adrian as Peacemaker jumps down the staircase as fast as he can. 

Suddenly a hand covers your mouth, and your eyes bulge as you realise a butterfly is attacking you from behind. Not again, fucker. You elbow them in the ribs and struggle until the cool metal of a gun barrel pressed against your temple makes you freeze.

“Stop fucking squirming.”

The words make Adrian whip around. You’re about to wave at him, to tell him not to do anything rash, but his reflexes are too quick. Before either you or the butterfly realise what he’s doing, he shoots the butterfly in the head. A warm blood splatter hits your body, and you feel the thud of him dropping to the floor behind you.

“The only person who says that shit to my girlfriend is me.”

You check there’s no butterfly crawling out of the dead body behind you, and as you turn back around to smile at Adrian, you see it- a tiny gleam of silver flying towards you.

Instinctively you whip your hand up to block it. A gasp of pain and shock escapes you, as you see a steel throwing knife protruding through your extended palm.

Another gleam of sliver. Sudden pain. You choke. Your other hand comes up to touch your throat. Dazed, you feel a knife stuck deep in your neck.

“Fuck!” Adrian turns around and shoots the butterfly before they can throw a third knife.

The ground seems to come up from nowhere to hit your side. You gasp, trying to stem the bleeding from your neck with your left hand. The smell of grass and the blood pooling out in front of you makes you feel faint.

There’s the distinct sound of a bullet finding a soft target, then a thud as Adrian drops to his knees beside you. Momentarily distracted by your injuries, he was shot in the back. He falls flat on his front, masked face turned towards you.

You cough more blood. The pain searing through your neck is almost beyond endurance. Adrian fades in and out of focus.

“Birdie,” he groans. “Stay awake… We’re still gonna… drive off into the sunset.” He lifts himself onto his elbows to crawl towards you.

Every breath of air you take hurts- each tiny inhale slightly moves the knife in your neck. 

You feel Adrian’s fingers remove your left hand, so he can put pressure on the wound. Even now, you feel comforted by his touch. 

Hazily, you think that you’re glad to be dying knowing what it feels like to be loved.

There’s another strange cold sensation in your neck- a rush of air. But before you have time to wonder what’s happening, everything fades to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

You open your eyes blearily- it’s bright. Daylight. Your throat is raw. You’re in pain. But wait… you can feel pain- that’s a good sign, right? The smell of antiseptic is suffocating.

Looking down at yourself, your eyes try to focus on your heavily bandaged right hand. Your hands fly up to your throat, and you feel more bandages around your neck. There’s a pulse monitor attached to your finger.

“Hey, it’s me. You’re okay.” It’s Adebayo’s voice. As your vision becomes clearer, you see she looks different, as she sits beside you on a blue plastic chair. She’s wearing a white shirt, vest and a blazer. Sort of like she’s dressed for a funeral. 

A funeral. 

Where’s Adrian? You sit up and take in the rest of the bland room. You need your phone. Where’s my phone? So many questions fly through your mind.

“Hey, hey, hey- sit back down. Adrian’s alive.” You sigh in relief and lie back. “Everyone’s alive. We did it. We killed the cow.”

She tosses you your phone.

“Adrian’s in surgery. The bullet didn’t go too deep, but they need to get the fragments out. He’ll be out soon.”

Blackbird: And the others? x

Her phone pings as your message arrives. She reads it.

“Let’s see… Harcourt was shot right after Adrian- she’s in a coma, but she’ll survive. Chris is fine- he’s waiting with her in case she wakes up. Economos broke his leg. I was human-torpedoed through the cow and didn’t even sprain my neck.” she grins.

Blackbird: I don’t understand how I’m still alive x

“It was Adrian he-”

“Good, you’re awake.” Adebayo is interrupted by a doctor coming into the room. She introduces herself and picks up the chart at the end of your bed. 

“The wound to your neck was deep… fortunately, it didn’t hit your spine. Patients with this kind of injury usually die from blood loss. But your boyfriend extracted the knife and stopped blood flow with duct tape.” She shakes her head in disbelief. “Removing a knife from a wound like that is normally very dangerous. But on this occasion, it saved your life.”

Adrian’s impulsivity has somehow paid off. 

“Your throat, however-” she hesitates “-we had to do an endoscopy to check for trauma to the larynx, and we’d never seen anything like it. There were strange lesions all along the membrane of your vocal cords.”

You nod, absently fidgeting with the bandages on your injured hand. This is old news.

“We were able to remove the majority of them.” Your eyes dart up to meet hers. “But there are a few tiny ones left that were so embedded they couldn’t be removed without damaging the healthy tissue.”

Her words fly over your head as you and Adebayo exchange glances, clearly thinking the same thing.

“Your powers…” whispers Adebayo. Your heart thumps in your chest. You refuse to let yourself believe what you think might be happening. “Can she use her voice?” she addresses the doctor.

“Sure,” the doctor replies indifferently as she puts the chart back. “Just try not to speak too much or too loudly over the next few days. Otherwise, you’re good to be discharged.”

“I mean her superpowers. Her supersonic scream?”

“Her what?”

You’re unsurprised by her scepticism; this is classified information and unlikely to be on your medical records.

“Uh, never mind. Thank you,” says Adebayo as the doctor leaves the room. She turns back to face you. “...Can you?” 

The last thing you want to do is cause an accident. You shake your head.

“C’mon- try and break that old-ass TV.” She jerks her head over her shoulder.

You concentrate and let out a small hum. It hurts. But nothing happens.

“Break,” you whisper- still nothing. Your throat is too raw to try yelling.

“It’s okay, B bird.” Adebayo notices tears forming in your eyes and moves over to sit on the edge of the hospital bed. She touches your shoulder, and the tears spill down your face. 

“Happy tears.” Your voice is hoarse and incredibly sore. “There’s no way they’ll want me for the Suicide Squad now.”

She beams at you. “About that… I’m on my way to a press conference exposing Project Butterfly. Nobody’s joining the Suicide Squad. I made a deal with MI6 behind my mom’s back-”

“Bad idea-”

“Well, after this, I’m basically untouchable. I told MI6 I’d keep their name out of the press conference if they fired you. They still keep their hands clean, and if you check your email, you should be getting a pretty sweet severance package on Monday.”

“Kind of sounds like blackmail,” you whisper as you pull up your emails on your phone.

From: HM Government Secret Intelligence Service MI6

Subject: Agent Blackbird - Notification of redundancy

“Eh, I call it negotiation.” 

“Thank you, Ads,” you say softly but sincerely.

She gets up from your bed and goes to leave but pauses at the door and laughs.

“What is it?”

“Adrian told the doctors he wanted to see you before his surgery. He was asking- asking for-“

She snorts and has to stop speaking. She begins laughing so hard that she’s struggling to breathe. 

“What is it?” you ask hoarsely, waiting for the punchline.

She composes herself, “He was asking for someone called Blackbird. He said it was one name. Like Cher.” She cracks up again.

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh. It’s kind of sweet, but Christ…

“Did you even tell him your real name?”

You shake your head, and the ridiculousness of the situation hits you both simultaneously, and you can't help but burst out laughing. Adebayo doubles over, clutching her stomach, and you dab tears of laughter from your eyes with the hospital bedsheet.

“It never- “ you choke with laughter “- it never came up.”

You both collapse into hysterics. Ouch. Your good hand runs over the bandages on your neck.

“Damn, and I thought Adrian took his secret identity seriously.” 

God, poor Adrian. You make a mental note to give him your real name when he wakes up from surgery. 

“Hey, I almost forgot.” She tosses you a set of car keys which you catch with your uninjured left hand. “Think you have a few days before you need to return this.”

Once you’re dressed and discharged, you go to the car park for fresh air while you wait for Adrian to wake up from the effects of anaesthesia.

Blackbird: I’m alive. Text me when you’re awake xx

You find the Corvette and sit in it with the top down, the sun on your face. You listen to the radio and hum along gently. It’s raw on your throat, but the vibrations of the tune seem to come from your very soul. It feels… good.

Your phone pings twenty minutes later.

Vigilante: DUDE are you watching the news? xx

You flick through the radio channels on the car's sound system until you hear Adebayo’s voice.

“Peacemaker never wrote any diary. He was part of a team working in a deep-cover operation for the U.S. Government called "Project Butterfly." 

Blackbird: She’s actually doing it… xx

“This is all part of a black-ops program known as ‘Task Force X’, where convicted criminals are undertaking dangerous missions in exchange for time off their sentences. It's been running for years, under the command of a woman named Amanda Waller…”

Vigilante: Which room are you in? xx

“Who happens to be my mother. Now, I'm calling for an immediate investigation into these inhumane conditions-“ 

You turn off the radio and breathe a sigh of relief. No mention of MI6, as promised. 

Blackbird: I’m outside in the Corvette- I’ll come back upstairs now xx

You look over at the hospital and clap your hands over your mouth when a man in a gown jumps out of a window on the second story. He lands inelegantly in a flower bed and gets up.

It’s Adrian. 

Of course, it’s Adrian. 

He waves as he jogs towards you and hoists himself into the open-topped car without opening the door. 

He twists his whole body to face you, clasps your face with both hands and kisses you passionately. It happens so quickly that it takes your brain a second to catch up. 

He’s alive. We’re alive.

You return his embrace, and your hands wander down his back, trailing along the bare skin not covered by his hospital gown, resting on his waist where you feel the bandage wrap around his back. 

Just feeling his warm skin beneath the medical coverings sends a wave of gratitude through you. Your heart races as Adrian kisses you deeply and tangles his fingers in your hair like he’s trying to feel every different texture of you. You’ve missed him so much, and the relief of being back in his arms is almost overwhelming. 

You never want this moment to end.

He presses his forehead against yours. “God, I’m so happy you’re okay,” he murmurs “I thought. Fuck… I don’t wanna say what I thought.”

You know. You thought it too when you heard him collapse next to you in the field.

“I can’t believe you jumped out a window just after having surgery,” you whisper.

“I’m fine. I just-” He pulls back in surprise. “Wait…what the fuck!?”

“They removed some growths on my vocal cords,” you say, your hoarse voice barely audible. 

Stupidly, you feel tears coming on, remembering your first FaceTime conversation.

‘Birdie, I fell for you the first time I saw you burst someone’s head open with your sonic scream.’

“I… I don’t think I have powers anymore.” 

God, the lump in your ragged throat sears in pain. He gives you a concerned look. You don’t know how else to phrase what you’re about to say next, so you blurt it out. 

“Do you still like me?” 

You stare at him determinedly, refusing to let yourself cry. 

He laughs. A loud, maniacal laugh that goes on way too long. You scowl. 

“That’s hilarious, Birdie. I love this back and forth we get to have now you can speak.”

“Adrian, I’m serious,” you say sternly, but you think your heart might burst with joy. “I'm not the same person anymore. And I know you… I know you liked that I had powers.” You emphasise the word ‘like’ - you both know you mean ‘turned on’.

“Oh no,” he says mockingly. “I’m so sad that my girlfriend is going to moan all over my dick and scream my name.”

Even after all you’ve been through, your stomach twists in excitement when you hear him say girlfriend again. 

“That… that was actually really good sarcasm, Adrian.” 

“Uh, yeah, I learned from the best. The most sarcastic, second-best marksman in the team.”

“I’ll be the best marksman again soon. I was getting lazy when I had my powers.” You stretch your injured hand.

“Well…” He tries to sound upbeat. “We could squeeze in some more target practice before you go?”

“That can wait til we’re both healed…I have a bit more time than I thought.”

“How long?”

“MI6 has basically fired me. So I suppose until I find a new job.”

Grabbing your uninjured hand, he turns to look you in the eyes.

“Stay,” he says simply. 

“Adrian, I…” you hesitate. 

What’s waiting for you back home? Conversations with nobody except your landlord?

“Birdie, this feels right. Me and you. Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll drop it.”

“Adrian, you hardly know me… If you knew half of the things I’ve done… I mean, Adebayo read my file and wanted to send me to Belle Reve.”

“Oh, come on! I was in jail like last week.”

You chew your lip. 

“Don’t go back to London. Not yet, anyway. Crash at my place… or if you decide you never want to leave, that’s cool too.”

You grip the wheel as excitement courses through your veins. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He looks at you like he doesn’t quite believe you. “Wait… really?”

“Were you not serious?” You raise an eyebrow.

“No, I was! I just thought you’d take more convincing.”

“I’m never getting rid of you, Adrian. Just like you said, remember?”

He lunges forward again and kisses you again with unbridled enthusiasm. His glasses push against your face. Butterflies - the good kind, not the alien kind- flutter in your stomach. You’ve fallen for him. Adrian. Vigilante. All of him.

You unbuckle your seatbelt. “Can you drive a manual?” 

“What?!”

“A… a stick shift?” 

“I know what it is. I just can’t believe you don’t think I can drive one.”

You hop out of the car and round to the passenger side. “You can drive us to your flat then.”

“You sure?” He launches himself into the drivers seat and turns on the engine, not waiting for your reply. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first few days, you hadn’t had the strength to do much more than just lie in Adrian’s bed. You ordered food. Watched TV. Changed each other’s bandages. You’re grateful to have been able to rest during the day because your sleep has been interrupted by vivid nightmares. 

Tonight, you wake up in another fit of sweat, hand clutching your neck. You dreamt that a butterfly had snuck up on you again from behind. Adrian wasn’t there to save you. And so they opened your throat with a silver throwing knife.

“Birdie?” Adrian says blearily, as he wakes up, and his eyes make out your hunched-over silhouette in the dark. He finds his glasses on the bedside table. “Did you have a nightmare again?”

You nod, heart still pounding in your chest. 

“You can use your voice,” he reminds you again gently. Sometimes you forget you can talk after spending so long suppressing it. “Same as last time?”

“Same as last time,” you echo.

The light-up display on his alarm clock shows that it’s two o’clock in the morning. Adrenaline from your night terror pumps through you. You’re wide awake. 

“We’ll work on disarming someone from behind as soon as you’re feeling better,” he says in an effort to reassure you.

Adrian stretches his arm out, giving you the perfect space on his chest to nestle into. You lie back down on his burgundy sheets and breathe deeply as you rest your head on him. He smells so good. Like home. Your shoulders become less tense, and your heart rate starts coming back down as you relax into his warm embrace.

“Can you put on a film for us to fall asleep to? Preferably something long and boring.”

“Have you ever seen Titanic? It’s like 3 hours long.”

Before you know it, you’re both engrossed and eating popcorn in bed.

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen this,” he says, absent-mindedly stroking your hair.

“I never understood the point. I mean, we already know what happens at the end.”

You both sit quietly as Jack and Rose kiss passionately in the back seat of an old car. 

You roll your eyes. “We need more popcorn.” You get up from his bed and walk down the hall into the kitchen.

“I can skip this scene if it’s getting you too worked up?” He grins as he calls after you.

You hold up a middle finger behind you as you walk away. “Shut up.” 

“Aha! You’re being a big meanie, which means you’re horny.”

You scoff and call back towards the bedroom. “It does not! I’m rude to you all the time.”

“You’re giving me the same look you gave me the first time we had sex. Like you’re so annoyed with me that you want to shut me up by kissing me.”

“I am not. I just find it boring watching people pretend to have sex.” Especially when we’re supposed to be taking it easy right now.

“Fine. I’ll find something else to watch.” 

You run back to the bed and grab the remote control before he can. “No! I want to know how this ends!”

“I thought you knew how it ended?”

“And I thought you said it was boring!”

“Sit back down and watch it with me then if you’re so interested,” he challenges.

You forget about making more popcorn and sit beside him on the bed defiantly - much more upright than before. Both of you remain silent, eyes fixed on the TV. You watch as they grope each other in the back seat of the car. You clench your jaw, trying to ignore the heat between your legs. You discreetly push your thighs together, but the seam of his borrowed boxers that you’re wearing to bed rubs up against you dangerously.

“Stop looking at me, Adrian. I’m fine,” you say, feeling his gaze linger on you from the corner of your eye.

He moves closer to you. “I don’t think you are.”

“Ugh, please. Do you honestly think I’m horny for softcore nineties romance?” You keep your eyes fixed ahead, trying to look disinterested.

“I know what you look like when you’re turned on.”

“You’re projecting. But if you can’t wait a few more days and need to take care of yourself, then...”

“Yeah? Maybe I will. I’ll even let you watch.”

“Oh my god, Adrian,” you scoff, trying to ignore the hot, sticky feeling in your underwear. “If I need to wait, then so do you.”

“I don’t think you can, B.”

“I can wait longer than you.”

“Well, you don’t have to look at you all day. And you’re always wearing my stuff - it’s killing me!”

“Yeah, well, I have to look at you all day too.” You turned to face him. “You and your stupidly pretty face and your fucking abs. I mean, Christ, who actually has abs?”

He looks pleasantly surprised that you’re finding it difficult to be around him.

“Now I know you’re all riled up because even your compliments are super aggressive.”

You cross your arms. “We’re supposed to be resting.”

On-screen, Rose presses her hand against the car’s fogged-up glass, and you close your eyes involuntarily. 

Your weight on the mattress shifts suddenly as Adrian leans in, and his lips meet that sensitive spot a few centimetres behind your earlobe, making you softly sigh. You tilt your head, exposing more of your neck to him, your body leaning into his mouth on you. He plants kisses across your sensitive skin, avoiding your fresh scar.

“Adrian…” you say warningly but it falls on deaf ears as you feel his warm tongue trail over your neck. His hand cups your pussy through the fabric of the boxers, and your body responds automatically, hips tilting towards him.

“You might be able to use your words now, but I can still read your body language like a book.” His firm hand squeezes and puts pressure between your legs. “I think you’re done waiting.”

Of course, you are. It’s been torture being stuck in this apartment with him for days. You want to fuck him, obviously. But more than that, you want to please him, thank him for saving your life yet again, and show him how much he means to you with your body. To fulfil his every desire and fantasy-

Fantasy.

You sit upright suddenly.

“Oh.” He withdraws his hand, surprised. “Is everything okay, B? I was just teasing, sorry, we can just-”

“I don’t believe the window would steam up like that if you had sex in a car.” You cut across him and walk over to the bedroom door. You turn back with a smirk. “Would you like to find out if it does?”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don’t even make it out of his apartment complex’s underground car park. 

Adrian sits in the driver’s seat of the Corvette with you straddling him. In a state of semi-undress, you’ve ended up in just his t-shirt that you were sleeping in- everything else you were wearing lies forgotten on the passenger seat beside you. 

His hands grip your hips as you grind yourself on him, rubbing your wet pussy along the length of his shaft. Your thighs are soaked. The friction feels so, so good, and your chest heaves as you feel his hips rocking, desperate to be inside you.

His hands leave your sides and lift your shirt up. “You are so fucking hot.” His tongue swirls over your nipples sloppily, and you grab the back of his head, pushing his face into your chest. He lets out a muffled moan with pleasure.

You help him pull his T-shirt off and toss it in the seat next to you. You drag your hands down his lean chest, avoiding the newly healed scars from the grenade blast a few days ago. 

“You look so beautiful like this,” he says, watching your flushed face as you grind back and forwards in the constricted space of the Corvette, feeling the sensation of his hard cock against your clit. 

The space in the car is limited- his legs take up most of the room on the seat. You lean back in the tight space between him and the steering wheel to give him a better view and feel the cold wheel against your shoulder blades.

“Hey, careful you don’t lean on the horn.” He steadies you with one hand on your lower back, and gripping his cock with the other. You lick your palm and move his hand away, replacing it with your own. His thick cock is warm as you grip the shaft and move your hand up and down.

“Fuck, how are you so soft?” His hips jerk upwards into your clenched fist. “We have the same fucking job.”

He loves the softness of you as much as you love the sculpted, sharp edges of him. Your grip of him falters when his hand moves between your legs, fingers sliding through your folds, making direct contact with your clit. His fingers are broader and rougher than yours, and a small whine escapes your lips when he begins rubbing circles onto the bundle of nerves there.

Your fist keeps pumping up and down the length of him, and you feel pleasure begin to wash over you as his fingers deftly tease your pussy. He traces the entrance of your wet cunt, and your walls clench desperately over nothing. 

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

You eagerly adjust your hips over his, and position the head of his cock so it’s pressing up against your lips. He grips both of his hands under your thighs and stops you from lowering yourself onto him.

“Use your words.”

Oh.

“I… I want you to fuck me. Please,” you whisper. For some reason, it makes you shy. You’re out of practice when it comes to dirty talk.

“That’s my girl.” 

Adrian’s green eyes meet yours, and it makes your skin feel red hot. His hands return to your hips, helping you down slowly, and you feel the familiar pressure as his length disappears into you.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs, leaning his head back. You get a glimpse of his Adam's apple moving up and down as he swallows. 

You pause at the base, getting used to the intrusion. Rocking your hips slowly, the sensation forces you to take a sharp inhale of breath- even though your pussy is sopping wet for him, you still need time to adjust to how thick he is.

“C’mon, nice and easy. You’ve got this.”

His praise spurs you on. You grip the headrest, giving yourself leverage to ride him.

You lean in and suck on his bottom lip, realising that this is the first time you’ve ever been able to kiss him while his cock has been inside you. You allow yourself a soft moan into his mouth. It feels alien to be able to express yourself like this while sliding up and down on him. 

The realisation seems to hit him too when he hears you moaning. It makes him hungry for you- his tongue enters your mouth and rolls over your own. 

He bucks his hips, and his hands move to your ass so he can control the pace of your movement on his cock. The obscenely slick sound of his achingly hard cock driving in and out of you is only amplified in the constricted space. You bury your face into the crook of his neck, tasting the slightly salty sweat of his skin on your tongue. 

“Fuck, you’re taking it like such a good girl,” he says through gritted teeth.

A searing heat ebbs through you, and you feel it creep up to your neck at his words. His words. You remind yourself you don’t have to stay silent either.

“Your cock feels so good,” you say, lips moving to press against his ear. You hear Adrian’s breath hitch in his throat.

You pull apart so he can watch your still-exposed tits bounce as he guides you up and down, fucking you open. The swell inside you begins as you watch his brow furrow in concentration, looking from your tits to the desperate look on your face as you grapple the headrest behind him helplessly.

“Is this what you needed, baby?” 

You nod, feeling the heat in your lower abdomen tighten.

“C’mon, say it,” he instructs. 

You hear the wet sounds of your pussy and thighs slapping into him. You’re on the brink as he rocks up into something heavenly inside of you, hitting your g-spot. It feels so good- you can’t stop yourself from babbling what comes out next.

“Yes… Needed you. Wanted to - to make you feel so good. For saving me. Again.”

He pushes down on your hips, fucking you with newfound ferocity, and continues hitting that one spot that makes your whole body sing for him. Your fingers move to grip his shoulders, and you lock eyes with him.

“Fuck, tell me… Tell me,” he says urgently. 

“Always- fuck- always fucking saving my ass... My fucking hero.”

You clench around him, holding on for dear life as he quickens his pace, working you higher and higher. Your ass slaps against the front of his thighs, faster and faster in rhythm with your panting.

“Don’t- I’m gonna cum if you say that,” he warns. 

“That you’re my hero?” you whisper, staring into his eyes, his pupils dilated and swimming with lust. He leans his head back and groans in response. “You are, Adrian. My- my hero. My Vigilante.” 

You suck the skin of his neck, squeezing your eyes shut, squeezing everything below your waist as you tumble into sheer ecstasy. You bear down on him as he jerks his hips up, fucking into you like a starved man. The force of his thrusts makes you bounce so hard that you need to lift your arm to stop yourself from hitting your head on the roof of the car. 

“Shit,” he gasps. “You can’t say that. I’m gonna cum- oh, fuck I am. I’m cumming. Fuuuck.”

His rambling doesn’t even register clearly in your head- you’re too busy burying your face into his neck again, and with a muffled moan, you cum with him- hard. Your teeth graze his neck, and your walls contract around his cock, as you feel him coat your insides.

You slump into him, your dead weight on top of him. Every inch of your sweat soaked body in contact with his. He wraps his arms around you as you both catch your breath, endorphins lighting up your insides like fireworks. You nuzzle into his neck as his cock still pulses inside you, and cum leaks out of your pussy. 

The windows of the Corvette are, in fact, steamed up. His glasses are too. You both silently enjoy the post-orgasmic bliss for several moments. From this position, his heart is pressed against yours, and you can feel them both beating loudly against your ribcages as you begin to resume normal breathing.

“So that was like…That was like my kryptonite,” he says, breaking the silence. 

“Being called a hero?” you ask hoarsely. Your throat feels scratchy again.

“Yeah…” And for the first time ever, you think, he sounds embarrassed. “I guess it’s something I always wanted to hear.”

“You’ve saved my life at least three times in the past month.” You trace your fingers across his chest. “And you literally saved the world from an alien invasion five days ago.” 

He cups your face, and you lean into his hand, kissing his palm softly.

“Do you think we’re the good guys?”

You hesitate. “I don’t think it matters. We’re good enough for each other.”

“But what about, like, Superman?”

“You don’t wanna be a hero like Superman.”

“What?! Why not?”

“He’s an idiot. Peacemaker told me that Wonderwoman says he can’t find the clit.”

“Well… at least I can do that.” He pauses. “Wait, I can, right?”

“Are you serious?”

“No, I'm totally joking… I think.” 

“You can.”

“Thank god.” 

You laugh and clamber off of him into the passenger seat. 

“He didn’t even offer to fly you and Harcourt to the hospital either,” he adds in disbelief.

“Superman? When was this?”

“Right, I forgot to tell you that Adebayo’s mom did send the Justice League to the barn after all! They turned up super late. The cow was already dead.”

You laugh. Ouch, your throat feels raw. You lean back and massage your neck, swallowing thickly. 

“Is your voice sore from using it too much?

You nod.

“Well, we probably should be resting.”

You give him a stern look, and he grins.

“There it is! You’ve still got it!” He pulls his jeans and boxers back up and switches on the engine. “Do you wanna go and get ice cream for your throat?”

That does sound good, you think and hastily pull your clothes on. When you’re both decent, he puts the car in first gear, and it starts moving.

“Ooh, okay, I’m gonna guess your favourite flavour, and you tap the dash one for yes and twice for no.”

You smile at him fondly, secretly pleased that he’s finally mastered the art of yes-or-no questions.

Chapter 5: From Gotham with Love

[yandere-daydreams]

Yandere potential of cowboy hats agreed but imagine two yanderes fighting over your poor oblivious self. one of them plonking their hat down on your head and the other just seething in the background. They are Absolutely not letting that slide

i am personally partial to the cowboy vs farmer rivalry (otherwise known as the traveling country boy vs stationary country boy rivalry) so it's essentially just,,, 'if she's wearing your hat why is she milking my cows' personified. constantly getting pulled between a hard but freeing life on the countryside roads and the cozy but constraining duties of a farmer's house-restrained partner,,, getting marked with bandanas and hats and baskets of grain,,, thinking you just have a really friendly neighbor and that the quiet stranger who passes through your town every now and then is just really generous when in actuality they've both been trying to kidnap you for like seven months. it's that southern passive-aggression. you're gonna have so much fucking leather tho.