#poor baby ronaldo

[liverpool-enjoyer]

MAX HEY what got u into soccer (as u call it) / ur football origin story ?!?!?

HI BESTIE I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!!

warning in advance i talk. so much. like half this info isnt even necessary to answer the question i jus like to run my big mouth.

so it all started when i was a wee lil lad. actually if you wanna be technical it starts before then!! basically i love soccer cause my dads loved it his whole life. n my dad loves soccer cause his dad loved soccer n i'll probly pass it on to my poor kiddos in the future lmao.

but yeah when i say dad loves soccer i MEAN it. he played when he was in school n continued to play after for the local club, a club made entirely of irish immigrants in new york. he is not irish. but he was rlly good so they were like aight. i have a ton a their trophies n yearbooks n stuff!! my dad was a goalie n helped them win a CHAMPIONSHIP (that he postponed his wedding for)!!! he got a buncha mvp votes n my opa has a plaque thanking him for being their biggest supporter :)) fun fact dads team played against usmnt goalie tim howard when he was younger. dont remember who won tho.

i know less abt opas exploits unfortunately, but by God did he love the sport. man could watch half a dozen games a day. oh wait nvm i jus remembered how could i forget he took my dad to PELES FAREWELL GAME IN '77??? oh yeah my dad n opa used to see the new york cosmos EVERY HOME GAME. so theyve literally seen pele himself more times than my dad can count. funny lil story they were season ticket holders but at the farewell game their seats were given to mohammed ali. as i type this i realize that sounds so made up but im not shitting you. look it up he was there.

so yeah naturally being raised by this man means being raised around soccer. as a baby i had a little plush soccer ball n i actually took my first steps with it. its still lying around somewhere i think. i did play when i was a kid (goalie, ofc) but the fact that i have the atheticism of an asthmatic squirrel cut my playing career short. honestly, i regret not pulling through n playing more. i actually didnt get into european soccer till i was like eleven. up until then i was a DIE HARD mls/new york red bulls enjoyer. i went to my first red bulls game when i was literally an infant n went to damn near every home game for over a decade. which means i jus got to watch the man, the myth, the legend mr thierry henry more times than i can COUNT. i didnt realize till years later how fortunate i actually was!!

now the REAL awakening. so its 2014, either march or april i cant remember. i come downstairs from an absurdly long minecraft playing binge n like usual theres a game on the tv. i ask whos playing n my dads like its el clasico. n im like ??? he explains that barcelona n real madrid are two teams in spain with an intense rivalry n every time they play they call it el clasico. n that barcelona has a player named lionel messi, who many consider the best in the world, n that real madrid has cristiano ronaldo, who many also consider the best in the world. i watched the rest of the game with him, n i honestly dont know what exactly made me a die hard messi fan. my dads a serie a/juventus enjoyer so he didnt care enough to steer me one way or the other. but from that day forward i was the BIGGEST messi n barcelona fan. i remember the 2014 wc VIVIDLY, it made me the woman i am today n NOT in a good way. i also remember growing up watching msn n that was literal crack. the 2015 ucl final especially was an,,, interesting time in my house lmao.

n thats why i love soccer!!!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I'm so frickin tired but KARMALAND WATCH

Olympics timeeee

AWH….everyone's wearing different jerseys and Vegetta has Mexico :')))

Rubius just found out what Vegetta did to his place (cut down all his pretty Sakura trees and left a giant broken heart statue in his yard)

Rubius: Why is he mad at me? All I did was mess up his wedding and vandalize his house and ruin his life Rubius I hope Vegetta punts you into the SUN

OhoHOHO Luzu getting all agro and telling Rubius he deserves everything bad that happens to him because of what he did to Vegetta. Luzugetta my absolute beloved

Seriously though I love Luzu and Vegetta's friendship so frickin much

Rubius: Illojuan said Karmaland is ending in December, is that true??? Vegetta: I don't know what you're talking about! :) VEGETTA DONT PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS PLEASE

Everyone's like "lol today's a beach episode!" but I don't trust any of these guys

Vegetta: Karmaland ends in December but you know who won't be there? Illojuan VEGETTA DONT JOKE LIKE THIS

Quackity tweeting about wanting to go back to sleep. Frickin same

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY SLEPT 3 HOURS

Dang dude even my sleep schedule isn't that frickin bad

He sounds EXHAUSTED poor baby

Everyone is so frickin handsome and pretty I weep

IS QUACKITY FRICKIN REPRESENTING SPAIN oh no that’s portugal nvm

Love that they're all Latin / Spanish speaking countries and then Rubius is frickin Japan

AWWWWWWWWWW

Quackity running to Luzu's house and stealing food from his chests. Some traditions never change… 😭😭😭

Oh man all the boys had to drop their items for the event? OH BOY….

Rubius: If someone steals from the lockers on the World Cup, three years of jail! BTW you can strip and get changed in my house, I definitely don't have cameras around. 😏 What is wrong with him

WHY DOES QUACKITY STILL HAVE HIS GUN

oh man he didn't immediately attack Luzu I guess this will be a more chill event

Oh Luzu said "Tell Quackity not to bother me or I'll kill him" WELP. NEVERMIND I GUESS

VEGETTA SAYING NO MAMES…pftt

Rubius: I need to be beside Vegettita. Luzu: Yeah, right after cheating him out of his wedding. DANG

OH Quackity’s disguised as “Cristiano Ronaldo" ok.

Luzu: For everyone asking about Quackity, he's not coming! He's vetoed from here.

Oh so THATS how they're getting around it.

Sapo Peta: Whoever wins can have one wish! Whatever they wish for Uh Oh

Alexby told Rubius he has an attack on Luzu planned and Rubius wanted to make sure they only hurt Luzu and no one else. Wanna make sure Vegetta isn't caught in the crossfire huh?

The key words to detonating the mines will be "I am duck" lord …

Luzu: Vegetta, we have to win this for the good side. What wish would you ask for? Vegetta: Another castle, of course. VEGETTA….

Oh noooo I missed Ollie I'll have to pull up Luzu's stream later 

Oh man there's gonna be a trial against Rubius today to rid him of his police chief position???

Heavy lore with light fun jokes

LMFAO VEGETTA…TOO SOON

I want a clip of that

Rubius said be already knows what he wants to wish for but won't tell anyone…

How fricked up would it be if Rubius’s wish was "I wish Vegetta would never fall in love with another person. I want his heart to belong to me". That would be so cruel because you KNOW Rubius would still mess around, he just wants to make sure Vegetta remains free

Alexby: Why did you choose Japan the day they play against Spain? Rubius: Because I fricked up PFTTT

Me: aww Quackity is learning Portugese! Me, realizing what he's learning to say: oh 😒

Games start!

LUZU IMMEDIATELY FELL pfttt

Uh oh Luzu won the first game. What would he wish for, if he won?

Oh man someone said "Will Luzu wish to revive his kids or will he wish for Quackity's death?" Agh

LALIN PFTTT

Alexby won the second game!

Oh my gosh third game is like glass floor from Squid games

Vegetta: I will take one for the team because Mexico always sacrifices for the team! VEGETTA….

Quackity died trying to follow the OTHERS LMFAO

They keep saying "Mexico is always brave" to make Vegetta keep jumping, MEAN

QUACKITY REALLY TOLD LUZU KYS, JEEZ

Rubius: For you, Vegetta, I will win this 🥺

Rubius kissed Vegetta before jumping 🥺🥺🥺

It's like the water jump all over again

THEY BOTH DIED LMFAOOO. Idiots in love....

Oh no Luzu's in the lead right now

Alexby: It doesn't matter, we knew you'd cheat in this just like in the elections DANG

Oh it's a tie between Rubius and Luzu?

QUACKITY…..

Rubius wishes for all Karmaland mods to be unblocked and Luzu agreed

Rubius: Since the price is a wish, we can both win and ask for the same wish. I suggest the wish is to unblock all mods on Karmaland. Luzu: I absolutely agree. I'd say no to literally anything else but I wanna see Vegetta's head explode.

THEYRE SUCH BASTARDS LMFAO

Alexby got second and Vegetta got third! I wonder what they would've wished for

Vegetta is trying to get out of this by saying everything is a dream LMAO

Oh no Quackity said they still need to kill Luzu

QUACKITY SHOT LUZU

VEGETTA KILLED RUBIUS???

NON-CANONICALLY IM ASSUMING?

Oh man Luzu and Vegetta are planning a trial

Luzu: I keep trying to do good things, but look how they turn out! The right way is the lonely way :( I mean, he’s definitely done fricked up things but I still feel bad for him

Luzu stepped on a mine on his way home and died and said "they killed me again" PFT

It's like that one meme of a dude galling off a bike and saying "this is [someone totally unrelated]'s fault"

Half the people are like "Ok but how DO you permakill someone on Karmaland" and the other half are like"Ok Quackity you killed Luzu, can you two make up now?"

Quackity: I knew you'd come protect me Rubius: If you call for help, I'll come to you l, always. I WEEP

Sapo Peta: Why did you shoot the mayor!!! Quackity: My finger slipped

Oh man Luzu told them to meet on Monday there's gonna be WAR

Is Quackity frickin jealous of Rubius talking to Vegetta???? KING….

They're going to the lie detector to see who stole Luzu's stuff

Luzu: Sapo Peta, do you have food? Quackity: The mayor asking for food, this town is in shambles. PFTTT SAYS THE GUY WHO WAS DIGGING THROUGH LUZU’S FOOD CHESTS

THEYRE PUTTING RUBIUS ON TRIAL

Quackity as Rubius' lawyer again as if we don't remember how this went last time

Quackity: I object! Luzu: I don't care PFTTTTT

Vegetta calling himself as a witness PFTT

Rubius said everything he's done has been out of love???

Rubius: Everything I've done has been out of love for Vegetta, Quackity, and Sapo Peta! RUBIUS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Rubius: Out of love for everyone in the world except Luzu! BRUH

Vegetta removed his authority as a cop and Rubius immediately put him and Luzu in jail. RUBIUS….

Luzu: We'll finish this war with Quackity on Monday Quackity (still disguised): What will you do to Quackity? Luzu: I'll give him the choice to either stop everything he's doing, or leave Karmaland forever with or without his life intact. NOOOOOOO I DONT WANT QUACKITY TO LEAVE KARMALAND

NOT QUACKITY WITH THE AUTOTUNED BABY CRYING AGAIN

Luzu: Everything an end, and ours is very close. Even when I try to do good, they come for me. The people's wellness comes first but they only want chaos and destruction. So we'll give them that. 😭

Luzu: Monday will be tough, but that's the day it will all be over. Either me, or Quackity NOOOO NO LUZU PLEASE SAY PSYCH I DONT WANT EITHER OF YOU TO DIE PLEASE I DONT WANT THIS TO END

STOP THE AUTOTUNE I CANT STAND THIS

SAPO PETA PULLED OUT THE ROCKET LAUNCHER LMFAO

Gosh the only thing worse than the autotune is Quackity pronouncing things horribly on purpose that is killing me

NO VEGETTA CONFIRMED KARMALAND IS ENDING IN DECEMBER. NOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOO THATS THIS MONTH, PLEASE NO VEGETTA I BEG OF YOU

There was a 3 year gap between Karmaland 4 and Karmaland 5…..how the frick am I supposed to survive that

I will say I'm super bummed, but I'm more bummed seeing all the suicide jokes people see making :/ I don’t know why that seems to be a weirdly popular "joke" amongst a lot of Karmaland fans and I really REALLY hate it. It’s not funny, and it’s not a joke.

Sighs

Well as for as today's stream went, I was very sleep deprived, but it was a nice light hearted "beach episode" that then promised to break our hearts on Monday. I shall be anxiously awaiting to see what happens

A lot of my theories got debunked just because Vegetta confirmed Karmaland was ending this month, but here are a few other theories I still have:

One of them (either Quackity or Luzu) will be killed by the other, and Sapo Peta will gave up on their world because of it. But then, that person regrets killing the man they used to love, and they exchange their own life to bring them back. That wouldn't be my ideal ending but it feels plausible

Rubius kills Luzu like he and Quackity planned. Sapo Peta finds out Quackity is the reason Luzu died, and that's what finally makes him give up all hope for Karmaland and the gods destroy the world

Luzu and Quackity kill each other, and as they like dying side by side, they laugh and realize how stupid they’ve been, but at least they’re together in their final moments

Fargan and Alexby get married!!! [unlikely]

Rubius and Vegetta make amends and learn to communicate properly for once! [also unlikely]

Luzu and Quackity make up! [delusional]

I had a few other predictions, but now that I know they have to wrap up this month, the ending feels like it’s gonna be a lot bleaker. I’m still trying to be optimistic, but I’m starting to have doubts...

[musesinbasement]

Fuck

Poor baby missing the penalty

Penalties are hard, and there's no shame losing in them

Especially as a young player

Bad damn, am I sad for Portugal

Ronaldo and Pepe are GOATs

[f0xd13-blog]

inspo of the past two years; niggas and their continue obsessions with themselves when it's really what was needed, I felt like my life was worth it and treasured. America and their small minds with priv rights using ronaldo as.proof (supposedly) that we wast getting through this shit, censorship of our real thoughts while they was walking around making pacts with jews while babies in pieces of meat was on my feed getting supposedly"censored" they never noticed that only me only my algorithm caught that... "be inspired by this niggas and his accomplishments doesn't matter if they cant.stop making it bout them just be inspired or u are racist"

The idols: gypsy version of eusebio or pele? That advanced nigga rights and be considered activists of that characteristic not race characteristic!!! Nooooo lets have Donaldo and his friendship with africans again!!! Like people don do the opposite now and commit horrible crimes in the name of black rights or queers. Putting ai images of poor african kids doing ronaldo paintings! Wow that's what we needed. YOU LITERALLY GET GAIJIN TREATMENT BECAUSE OF THIS IT ISN'T EVEN RACISM IT IS CALLED RACIAL SUPERIORITY like their lives matter more to u so u weaponize to hate whoever (cuban demented communism) auto translate to white proving my point yah Capone u is really black laughing.. all of this instead of a gypsy representing gitanos and palestinians! Like it should be our time! No its niggas tims again and their.obsession with having rights even when in terms of education it isn't needed anymore!! Now u just need time !!! The opportunity to hire me to have a safe space to talk about this before i even freaked out! ALL OF THIS JUST FOR THE Freedom OF PAINTING Yourself. Yellow and do "avant garde flamenco" listen... u behave a certain way u get to listen to the reactions simple!! U are not a monarch u are a celeb sending a product to be criticized! Learn how to make peoples money worth it.

YELLOW AND SAY THAT U IS.ME.WHILE I.GET FIRED FOR COLOR ISSUES nd the wrong education of who iam which affects my evaluations now! Not effort thaT is important just if u look black! Pressure to.adopt my nationality when that brings me more hate that has nothing to.do with my life story. Getting sabotaged even by celebs with old grudges about gypsy celebs I got nothing to do with as an individual! Auto correct to "and" while they are controlling my tablet and taking drugs.

Auto correct to"even" did they just killed multiple kids because I went online to call robalia greasy hair and then reacted to cybr crimes that destroyed my life" (an excuse because the was already talking bout hamas before that and already was doing schemes and fake virus in america)

lez make america lose money from now on. Next time don "and" people like this . Fucking niggas are all disgusting. SALAZAR PUTTING EUSEBIO IN FOOTBALL A NIGGA FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND OUR FLAMENCAS DANCING WITH UR KIDS GIVING THEM THEIR FIRST EDUCATION CARING FOR THEM WHEN UR LATINOS Holocausted y'all MULTIPLE TIMES B4!!!!!! Don forget ungrateful bastards. Ask kylian what africans do to their Africans in africa u dumfucks u don even know !! Think people are on ur side? Think.black people is on ur side? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa that's funny hey bey visit brasil again pls. Spitting on the plate u once came all defected asking for rights and to be as good as flamenco. What a way to make u disdain u all .

[love-takes-work]

Ate Baby Melon after he sacrificed himself

Tuned his ukulele while Garnet shielded him from being murdered by spikes

Jumped off a Funland ride and destroyed it 

Destroyed several games in the arcade and yelled “let’s run!” when Mr. Smiley tried to investigate 

Continually shook Mr. Queasy while the toy asked him to stop (not actual cruelty, obviously, but seems . . . rude)

Traded away Pearl’s replicator wand because he wanted a certain toy

Ran right through a skeleton with his Centipeetle buddy--no respect for that poor dead miner

Dressed up like a Snerson to validate Ronaldo’s delusions/conspiracy theories

Made Fryman think he was in a gang

Ratted Pearl and Amethyst out not because he felt bad about the truth or wanted to protect anyone, but because he resented that they didn’t want to play Secret Team anymore

Threw a marble at his dad’s butt for no reason

Unleashed Pearl’s training robot on Pearl’s favorite tree, which was destroyed

Brought a Lion into a movie theater

s1 steven: a good boy, but a menace

a maybe not complete list:

proposed sadie burned lars, literally

actually WANTED to fire lars before that

made fart noises (with lapis) during dewey's speech

tiger millionaire. that's it.

his own clones(?) turned against him and made a song about it

also suggested burning when helping his dad clean up his storage unit

literally caused a terrorist attack with t-shirts to take revenge against buck for making fun of guitar dad

[baekhvuns]

Man City who??? Idk them 🙈🙉🙊 ugh the "next X" is so annoying, reminds me of "the next BTS" stfu already and let them be themselves! Barca girls? Them I can support!

Baek we're all Chelsea players at this point I'm afraid... can't even blame it on Abeamovich anymore 🔫

Lowkey thought Villa retired, I was so shocked to find him in India.

I've been to Plant Cafe before and it's good! I'm not sure if I'm going to Jeju this time round, I'm planning on coming back in the summer. I'll be quite busy with work so it'll keep me distracted or kill me. I like to be updated tho, so can't totally stay away from Twitter, also literally so many of my friends are seeing Ateez I WON'T BE ABLE TO ESCAPE IT 😭😭😭😭

I see you're determined to post the Yunho fic, I hope it happens soon for the sake of your mental health! And so you can focus on you know who perhaps 😉

Hannah no legs???? What happened!? Yes, I still have some of my Bratz dolls, but never had Shortcakes they weren't popular over here. Also Bratz games, I ate that shit up.

Bestie you haven't seen SKINS?! Maybe you're too young, but this show shaped me (not sure if it's a good thing lmao). It was one of the first "real" teen shows, not everything aged well, but it was a cultural reset. Huh omg I love Freaky Friday, so I might tune in for this, unless it's cringy af

Tasir whomst?! (I'm joking ily Tasir!) I'll give that Toothless ring to Hwa, just watch me!

Tbh I'd expect that reaction from Ronaldo and same, I used to do this shit in FIFA when my teams lost 😭

I know like four(?) Imagine Dragons songs, so I'm not sure 😅 Edgy Aussie band aksjajshahjaha TXT in their 70s era. Right, Tinnitus?! I love the Blue Hour's Korean title You and I found in the sky at 5:35 but Crown and One day a horn grew out of my head???

My first Ateez meeting was a blur I barely remember anything, but the hwands were smooth indeed... I thought Hwa looked like CEO doing aegyo, but junior tutor?! Why would you bring him up I'M PUNCHING MYSELF NOW. DILF Mingi made a comeback too

So true...Baby girl...

I can't move on from this I'M REACHING THE MAXIMUM LEVEL OF INSANITY 😱

This is so fucking funny ajshhahsusuahwhshw

What a throwback lol

This fucking company?!??! I thought no one was as bad or worse as the Omega X agency. Poor girls, seriously, they're all suffering so much, I read their private messages and they were so sad. Also the GWSN's company? They were detained from their dorm?! Wtf. Honestly as bad as some big companies are, at least they have enough money and don't pull THIS shit

Uhm and Lucas.....? That's insane. SM is so fucking weird. Literally whay the fuuuuck, Chris Lee you stupid mf... Some people say Lookass might go solo?! Mate has very little talent compared to people like Ten, Taeyong, Mark, let's be serious 😭😭😭😭 WayV, NCT and SuperM gonna catch strays because of him 🔫 poor Baekhyun too - DV 💖

hello!!

Man City who??? Idk them 🙈🙉🙊 ugh the "next X" is so annoying, reminds me of "the next BTS" stfu already and let them be themselves! Barca girls? Them I can support! //// Baek we're all Chelsea players at this point I'm afraid... can't even blame it on Abeamovich anymore 🔫 //// Lowkey thought Villa retired, I was so shocked to find him in India.

it really is bc those “next x” where are they??? they fall under the pressure and never end up making it,,, i think u know about how at one time rm got every big player as their mid fielders and they never gave them time to play which made their playing career 📉📉 ancelottt’s doing it again 😭😭 YEAH BARCA GIRLIES they’re actually kind of insane,,, NO SERIOUSLY WHAT POSITION DO U PLAY IN THE CHELSEA FC??? 🤨 yeah it’s so surprising but i guess good for him id be passing out tbh if i saw him irl <3

AND AND?? VARANE RETIREMENT??? AYO?

since we were talking about d*ni a*v*s that m*son gr**nw**d is back 🔫 major loss for prison fc

I've been to Plant Cafe before and it's good! I'm not sure if I'm going to Jeju this time round, I'm planning on coming back in the summer. I'll be quite busy with work so it'll keep me distracted or kill me. I like to be updated tho, so can't totally stay away from Twitter, also literally so many of my friends are seeing Ateez I WON'T BE ABLE TO ESCAPE IT 😭😭😭😭

pls do send a few restaurants u go to! AHHH if u go back in the summer you’ll be able to see those waterbomb festivals! hopefully ateez summer cb 🤲🏻😭😭 SEE I WILL KEEP U SELECTIVELY UPDATED, BLOCK UR FRIENDS THEYRE having a london fansign 😭😭

I see you're determined to post the Yunho fic, I hope it happens soon for the sake of your mental health! And so you can focus on you know who perhaps 😉 /// Hannah no legs???? What happened!? Yes, I still have some of my Bratz dolls, but never had Shortcakes they weren't popular over here. Also Bratz games, I ate that shit up.

giving myself this one last time if i can’t write it i will not anymore my fingers just won’t write for him fhwjdh 😭😭😭 U ALREADY KNOWWWWW U ALREADY KNOW ☺️☺️ hannah no legs! took it to aussie as a kid to visit family, went to my cousins place and (left the doll at another’s) came home to her foot being cut off by a 3 1/2 kid <333 i was fed excuses and i beloved them 🫡🫡 one thing about bratz doll’s is that their hair’s are so long,,, i used to shampoo them all the time fbwkfbdk strawberry shortcake dolls are creepy actually good thing u don’t have any 😭😭 STOP IT DO U RMR BRATZ GAME ON GAMEBOY

Bestie you haven't seen SKINS?! Maybe you're too young, but this show shaped me (not sure if it's a good thing lmao). It was one of the first "real" teen shows, not everything aged well, but it was a cultural reset. Huh omg I love Freaky Friday, so I might tune in for this, unless it's cringy af

IM YOUNG JCHCKCKS not “everything aged well” LIKE EVERY SHOW FROM THE EARLY 2000’s 😭😭😭 freaky friday is so good,, apparently ryan reynolds has a body swap movie too?? the change up?? gonna watch it but do u rmr that one movie where the nerd or the popular girl and the ‘footballer’ quarter back swapped bodies the “it’s a boy girl thing”💀💀 it was cute at times but not many ppl liked it,, hoping it’s not cringey bc we’ve HAD ENOUGH

Tasir whomst?! (I'm joking ily Tasir!) I'll give that Toothless ring to Hwa, just watch me! //// Tbh I'd expect that reaction from Ronaldo and same, I used to do this shit in FIFA when my teams lost 😭

LMFAOOO TASIR WHOMST??? OH IM SORRY HE DOES NOT EXIST I THINK?? PLS DO TAKE IT TO A FANSIGN 😭😭 JCBANCHCKC DID U DO IT WHEN RM LOST TO BARCA 😭😭😭 will be me when psg v bayern and if they lose

I know like four(?) Imagine Dragons songs, so I'm not sure 😅 Edgy Aussie band aksjajshahjaha TXT in their 70s era. Right, Tinnitus?! I love the Blue Hour's Korean title You and I found in the sky at 5:35 but Crown and One day a horn grew out of my head???

omg pls listen to bad liar by them, it started the villain yn and king hwa au for me <3 my religious anthem actually,,, TINNITUS HAD ME WEAK 😭😭😭 like the ringing in ears pls hybe 😭😭 ONE DAY A HORN GREW OUT OF MY HEAD GET THE FUCK OUT TBWMFBKWD THIS DEVIL IMAGERY HAS ME CRYING WHO’S WRITING THESE THINGS 😭😭😭😭

My first Ateez meeting was a blur I barely remember anything, but the hwands were smooth indeed... I thought Hwa looked like CEO doing aegyo, but junior tutor?! Why would you bring him up I'M PUNCHING MYSELF NOW. DILF Mingi made a comeback too

do u think he has hand creams for this hand, flavoured ones too,,, JUNIOR TUTOR TELL ME IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE IT GBWMFNWMJC the teasing mc and the poor junior that has to help mc <333 nuna romance <3 DILF MINGI. HAHA. and he?

ur right this tweet, he’s coming for messi’s ballon d’or actually

So true...Baby girl... //// I can't move on from this I'M REACHING THE MAXIMUM LEVEL OF INSANITY 😱 /// This is so fucking funny ajshhahsusuahwhshw /// What a throwback lol

he’s in his baby girl era omg,,, if he doesn’t put pretty sparkly clips in his hair,, HEY HEY HEY I AM BLIND DONT DO THIS 😩😩 LMFAOOO STOP BRO IS TIRED HIS FACE FBWJDHKWJCJC

baek taemin and kai in one group is a blessing,, their friendship >>> do u rmr this 😭😭

WAR IS OVER

This fucking company?!??! I thought no one was as bad or worse as the Omega X agency. Poor girls, seriously, they're all suffering so much, I read their private messages and they were so sad. Also the GWSN's company? They were detained from their dorm?! Wtf. Honestly as bad as some big companies are, at least they have enough money and don't pull THIS shit

this is like jessica’s case w sm??? and the company of theirs is trying to get them to promo as 12 members in japan??? wHAAT ARE THEY ON??? chu is so exhausted the media is just going haywire on her,, im glad ppl are supporting her bc that company is run by petty fucks,,, NOOO THAT GWSN THING WQS SO INSANE??? HOW ARE THE COMPANIES NOT ARRESTED ATP?? how hard it is to treat ur group CORRECTLY

Uhm and Lucas.....? That's insane. SM is so fucking weird. Literally whay the fuuuuck, Chris Lee you stupid mf... Some people say Lookass might go solo?! Mate has very little talent compared to people like Ten, Taeyong, Mark, let's be serious 😭😭😭😭 WayV, NCT and SuperM gonna catch strays because of him 🔫 poor Baekhyun too - DV 💖

i tbh didn’t even know what to say,,, wayv was so excited for their fanmeet, baek was coming back and now chris lee just decided to bring him back, just when u thought everything was good 😭😭😭 as in what did he bring to the group,,,, poor baekhyun bc lookas would start with calling baek pig and fat and hitting his injured leg again 😭😭😭 i will THROW HANDS AT HIM ON GOD FBWMDJWK baek back in one day! like bro’s out here dancing like rent due and getting hurt and lookas?

😭😭

and uh?

ARE WE HEARING PROMOTIONS???? FOR EVERYONE???? 41 albums,,,, oh we’re gonna be FED

[wonderbat1216]

Steven’s traumas

A comprehensive, chronological list of everything this poor boy has been through.

Update: edited to reflect the events of the finale.

Season 1A

Favorite Ice cream is discontinued, house attacked by a corrupted gem

Home attacked by gem robot

Building destroyed while he’s in it, almost drowns

Breakfast comes to life and attacks him/his family

Creepy costume comes to life and attacks him/his friends/family

Unable to stop his body from turning into cats, run through a car wash

Trapped in a small space with a stranger at the bottom of the ocean, attacked by corrupted gem

Gets sick and destroys the teacup ride, attacked by ancient gem tech

Family fights each other/disrepects his and amethyst’s hobby

Stuck in a sandstorm

Attacked by corrupted gem, unable to snap Garnet out of her trance

Eaten by a bird

Goes through and existential crisis because of his abnormal aging, almost ages himself to death

Attacked by sentient plant life

Overwhelmed by replicated “guys”

Witnesses Pearl’s stabbing/death, is almost killed by holo-pearl himself

Attacked by training machine from rose’s armory

Attacked by a corrupted gem

Overwhelmed by rose’s room in the temple

Two members of his family (unintentionally) attack him/ other family members/friends

Witnesses a(n unintentional) rampage through the city, has to give the Heimlich)

Almost drowns, Kills multiple versions of himself

Fights corrupted gems, almost crushed by a falling rock

Watches amethyst almost die

Yelled at by his family/ family is attacked by Lapis

Attacked by lapis, almost drowns, his best friend almost drowns, dad breaks his leg, learns the truth about what corrupted gems are

Season 1B

Dad lies to him, unintentionally messes with his powers

Almost (unintentionally) killed by pearl

Attacked by gem fragments, attacked by garnet

Stranded for several days on an island, lied to by his good friend

Knocked out and tied up by Ronaldo

Chased by alexandrite

Witnesses watermelons attack his friends family, witnesses sentient plants die

Nearly suffocated by lion

Harassed by Kevin

Scared by a mysterious figure (peridot) in the warp, has concerns dismissed by the gems

Learns the gems don’t trust his abilities, don’t take him seriously

Sees several horrible futures

Attacked by a wild raccoon, Sees amethyst attack pearl

Attacked by corrupted gem

Sees amethyst turn into rose quartz

Attacked by peridot

Nearly falls to his death, Witnesses Pearl’s breakdown

Fights fake Connie

Unintentionally causes people to make fun of his dad, is dismissed by buck

Learns homeward gems are coming to earth

Sees angry citizens after failing to fix the power

Sees garnet forcibly split, the gems poofed, and is knocked out and abducted

Survives a space ship crash, witnesses Lapis and jaspers toxic fusion

Season 2

Believes he needs to end his friendship with connie

Almost killed (unintentionally) by garnet

Attacked by corrupted gem, witnesses amethyst’s unhealthy regens

Sees pearl teaching connie unhealthy ideals, attacked by holo pearls

Attacked by fusion experiments, witnesses garnet’s near-breakdown

Sees lapis/jasper/malachite in his dreams

Sees pearl lying to garnet about the communication hub/sardonyx

Forced to be the middle man for ruby and sapphire

Onion’s birth video

Attacked by peridot, watches Pearl/Garnet almost crushed

Attacked by fusion experiments

Attacked by peridot

Learns about the cluster

Sees peridot and pearl fight

Almost killed by runaway drill

Stretches too far and reverts to a baby

Learns about the diamonds original plans for earth

Attacked by peridot, nearly killed by explosive

Season 3

Killed as a watermelon sacrifice, watches malachite and alexandrite fight

Passes out in the drill, visions of the cluster

Attacked by rubies

Stuck in the air because he can’t control his floaty powers

Caught in the middle between greg and pearl

Stuck in Lars’s body

Harassed by Kevin

Caught in feud between Kofi and Fryman

Overworked by kiki’s pizza dreams

Almost (unintentionally) hurt by semi-corrupted centipeetle/nephrite

Attacked by jasper, boat sinks

Attacked by corrupted gems and jasper

Attacked by corrupted gems and jasper

Fights with Amethyst

Attacked by bismuth

Attacked by jasper, sees jasper corrupted

Learns that his mom is an alleged war criminal

Stuck in space and almost killed by eyeball ruby

Season 4

Attacked by corrupted gem

(Unintentionally) emotionally hurt by sardonyx

Emotions interfering with his fusion

Chased by the police

Free falls through the sky after being accidentally dropped by lapis

Greg is abducted by Blue diamond

Gravity engine makes the gems disappear

Taken prisoner in the zoo

Almost caught by the diamonds

Confronts his fake mom in the temple

Amethyst abandons their mutual activity

Thinks he has a secret sister

Friends are abducted because of information he unwittingly gave homeworld

Attacked by aquamarine and topaz

He and lars are taken into space

Season 5

Put on trial for his mother’s alleged crimes, sees the zircons poofed, dramatic escape with lars

Lars is killed in front of him

Realizes lion is resurrected

Has to abandon lars in space

Becomes socially isolated from connie

Watches Lapis abandon peridot, the earth and him

Attacked by emerald

Stranded on jungle moon

Attacked by the creatures of jungle moon

Learns the truth about his mom being pink diamond

Witnesses ruby and sapphire’s breakdown

Attacked by the diamonds

Sees the gems poofed, imprisoned for fusing

Battered as a watermelon Steven

Attacked by white diamond, and the controlled gems, has his gem forcibly removed from his body

SU: The Movie

Attacked and almost killed by Spinel, repeatedly, sees the gems poofed, learns another horrible thing about his mom, witnesses the earth almost destroyed again.

SU:F

Fights with jasper

Inadvertently causes panic and damage by interfering with homeschool gems jobs

Meeting other rose quartzes

Learns another horrible thing about his mom, attacked by gem tech at the pearl repair station

Attacked by bluebird, sees his dad attacked by bluebird

Attacked by other lapis’

Hurt by all his friends leaving

Attacked by a sentient cactus

CPH/peridot dreams

Connie rejecting his proposal

Being physically confronted by the manifestations of everything in this list

Realizing greg (well-intentioned or not) cheated him out of a somewhat normal upbringing

Shattering and resurrecting jasper

The diamonds not listening to him/misunderstanding his problems, Attempting to shatter white diamond and thinking of himself as a monster

Hiding his feelings about himself from the gems because he feels he can’t talk to him

Suffers his own mental breakdown and corrupts himself because he believes he’s a monster for shattering jasper and attempting to shatter WD

Thinking the gems are indifferent about him leaving.

Thank the stars Rebecca finally gave him a therapist!!!

[polandspringz]

I received a request for this fandom meme in the replies by @canterpolr​, so I’ll be answering these questions for The Vampire Dies in No Time & Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun!

-Blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Ronaldo, it’s a shame that almost ALL the fics are Draluc angst because I want RONALDO angst; as for M!IK, who else is Blorbo in this case except for Iruma

-Scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): JOHN; Ronove Romiere, he’s not like any of the definitions except that I feel that he fits the sound of the word SCRUNKLY the most when I think of him, and maybe he fits the SO SHAPED part

-Scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Satetsu; Shax Lied (no one in this series is underrated I just like Shax)

-Glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

I don’t even know their name or if they ARE named, but this hunter with blue hair showed in some scenes I think about all the time

As for M!IK, probably Robin (I am attached to green color coded characters AND archers so Robin like checks all the boxes)

-Poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Draus; Asmodeus Alice

-Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Draluc; Kalego Sensei (he doesn’t deserve it but I would do it)

-Eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Y-dan Ojisan; Kirio (his accent haunts my brain even NOW, but I DO like him as a character)

[its-moopoint]

Poor Ronaldo. After making movies nobody cares about and a whisky that's still not sold out he must sell himself to the mommies who are draining their fortunes for 5 minutes with him. He has no choice because he's fathered so many kiddies waiting for him to bring home the bacon. I can't believe women are spending this indecent amount of money for this total looser.

I mean.... while one is out and about collecting nominations and having fun with fellow artists and her hubby the other is out with a broken forehead meeting grandmas hot for his bones.

Any shippers there? Did they gift him something for his no-baby?

[p-redux]

Some shippers have finally accepted the reality of Tait. Good for them. But there are still comments like "nice try", "what does that make the children? Just bring them out and have Tony as stepdad!" OMG, unbelievable!

1. I'm glad to hear some Extreme Shippers have FINALLY taken off their shipper goggles and SEEN REALITY. I can't believe after ALL the receipts showing Sam and Cait are NOT a couple and never have been, it finally took the marriage license to solidify it. Guess it's as concrete, black and white, on paper, legally official as you can get. It really isn't that bad here on terra firma...there are no ship sinking tidal waves and we never need Dramamine...plus we have popcorn and wine. Putting out the welcome wagon for any ex-shippers...permission to land granted.

2. As for the remaining few who continue to prove they are completely out of touch with reality. Bwahahaha! Extreme Shippers have had Cait pregnant with Sam's kids since 2015. Poor Cait's had to set them straight and deny pregnancies left and right on red carpet interviews and in print. What an embarrassing fandom. She's been like "Naw, bitches, I was just bloated because it was that time of the month." And, "That bump isn't Ronaldo Junior, it's the little pooch I've ALWAYS had." But NOPE, these babygaters are all like "I've had 10 kids, I know what a pregnant belly looks like." Weeelllll, you obviously DON'T. They've had Cait pregnant for YEARS. Poor dear has the gestational period of an elephant hahaha.

3. And if Cait and Sam did have kids together, they are the WORST parents ever. What with Sam never being home due to filming his movies, Men In Kilts, climbing munroes, galavanting the globe with assorted blondes...or are those the children's nannies? And Cait, had multiple bairns with her baby daddy, Sam, who according to ES is her soul mate, but she MARRIED some other dude? Huh? None of that makes any sense. And you know why? Because it's not true. The truth is usually not convoluted, it's simple and plain to see: Cait and Sam are great friends, costars with amazing chemistry, who are good at their JOB, which is ACTING. But they are not Claire and Jamie. Cait and Sam aren't hiding anything, including children. In real life, Cait married Tony, and Sam isn't ready to settle down with one woman. That's it. Literally, as simple as that.

So, the baby brigade can stop knitting those booties now, that baby elephant isn't going to need them. JS.

[pepperonitimeline]

I rbed that send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my blorbos post [link] then i realized this is literally my su blog I can just say these things

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): I have many blorbos but lately I think the most about Rose. girlboss girlglory girlreinvention, girlfusion, girlfreedom, her girlattention

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Amethyst and Nephrite (all forms) peak character design

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): i wouldn't call him underrated at all he might even be overrated(?) but it's Jamie sorry I love his adult autism swag. now the thing no one talks about is how his episodes are really vehicles for Pearl lore foreshadowing like hello???? whats up with that? wheres the content about self recognition through the other (derogatory) (they hate eachother) (its so funny pleease)

as for somebody actually underrated I love Mr. Smiley they just put Sinbad in the show?? I love all the boardies they are my friends

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Rhodonite.... rip in pieces Rhodonite backstory episode she's so so cute she's a scrunkly actually

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Rose but also Ronaldo. okay see back in high school when the show just started I had a crush on him and he was my #1 blorbo. the stuff I made up about him and the all the Frymans is still encrusted in my brain like the barbeque sauce you cant scrape off the inside of the microwave and sometimes I forget it's not canon. dear reader whenever think you are cringe no you are not. also dont worry about it. we all have to be a little cringe sometimes for our health yknow it's whatever

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): already doing that with Rose Is Lion nonsense

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): andy

[hardlyhardinge]

We've been celebrating International Men's Day this week at school. Which is brilliant! I'm so glad we get to show our kids some really positive, balanced versions of masculinity and let the boys take pride in their gender just as much as we encourage the girls to.

The assembly one of the English teachers put together featured a phenomenal selection of role models. We had Marcus Rashford, Keanu Reeves, Colin Kaepernick - and Jesus, because we're a Catholic school so that ones par for the course.

Then we asked our Y7s (ie kids aged 11-12) which men they thought should be celebrated, and their answers spanned the entire range of what you'd expect and hope for. We had Ronaldo, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks (poor Harvey had clearly got confused with what we were actually talking about but his heart was in the right place), "that man who listened to Taylor Swift and lost 5 stone" (we still don't know who Matthew was talking about but he sounded happy), and Harry Styles "because he's always himself and he believes clothing doesn't have a gender" (that one was from a kid who I'm like 90% sure is a baby gay, and made my heart very happy).

It was just really lovely! Thought I'd share :)

[white-queen-lacus]

Today in Italy: a boy (honestly speaking I would rather name him "humanity's failure") killed a cat by violently kicking him. That sh*t didn't even know who that cat was. That sh*t was randomly walking by the street and randomly decided that the cat was doomed to die. By his kick. Just like he was some kind of Cristiano Ronaldo and the cat was the balloon. I refused to watch the video because I felt sick and bad only by reading the news, but there are no words to explain how angry I felt and I'm still feeling. As a cat's human myself, I can't think or imagine the pain that poor baby felt. And the worst thing is that another sh*tty person found amusing to film the scene and to post it on the socials: glorious, right? Let's see how many views we'll be having~ Let's see how proud we are... No, the worst thing is that violence against animals is tolerated. Will they have to pay something? Mhhh. Probably not. Will that sh*t regret what he did? Maybe next time that one will kill a man, or a woman, or a child, who knows... For the moment, just think that he's some kind of mentally deviate. Nope! It isn't mental illness: it is pure and simple villainess. And the fact that in a few days everything will be forgotten makes everything sadder. Rip poor sweetie, have a good journey on the rainbow bridge, where nobody will hurt you anymore... I'll pray for you. 🥺💖

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Aaand now it’s time for episode 6 of The Witcher! Rare Species is the title and it’s intriguing, are we going to learn more about witchers?

Anyway, let’s do this. F.lux off, luminosity on, earbuds, clean glasses, and we’re ready. Nobody cares about that but whatever.

We start directly with Jaskier which is always welcome.

Geralt’s employers for the case think he’s dead by now and take Geralt’s stuff... but some strangers just show up and help out. Stranger dude introduces himself and I immediately forget his name and don’t try to learn it. Now he’s Suspiciously Helpful Guy, for short Beard Guy. The ladies with him are gorgeous.

This is about a dragon!!! That’s super exciting. Hope the dragon looks cool.

Jaskier also thinks the ladies are gorgeous. He probably thinks everyone is gorgeous but still, mood.

The reward for killing the dragon is huge, because it’s about the reputation of a king. Makes sense. Suspiciously Helpful Guy isn’t suspicious after all, he just wants the lord title and whatnot and wants Geralt on his team because Geralt is like the Cristiano Ronaldo of monster hunters, and that makes sense.

Beard Guy doesn’t want the reward for itself, but wants a last adventure before he gets too old to do anything exciting, apparently. He tries to appeal to Geralt emotionally, but Geralt is still unconvinced. Aaaand now we get what convinces him to join. The world is small :)

So welcome to Deadly Gishwhes.

Yennefer is there as a fancy escort to Pompous Knight. I think they haven’t started yet and she is already Done with him.

Meanwhile-not-meanwhile Ciri is walking right into Fake Mousesack’s trap...

Deadly Gishwhes for now is a camping trip. Isn’t this fun! Geralt is convinced that the most dangerous thing on the mountain isn’t the dragon, but Yennefer... we’ll see. I mean, definitely.

Dinner is an awkward affair until it gets a more intimate affair, then it’s cute. I’m afraid these nice people won’t survive this.

Dara suspects Fake Mousesack, but Ciri doesn’t...

Meanwhile Yennefer has been sleeping and has lost her escort. Oops.

Oh, he’s been found. Double oops.

The dwarves suggest a shortcut, our team accepts, but we’re gonna have some Yennefer-Geralt drama first.

And of course Yennefer is meaning to use the dragon to get her uterus back.

Geralt says she’d definitely made a bad mother and, well, is he wrong. Apparently it’s customary to make witches and witchers sterile, and he acknowledges that their lifestyle isn’t suited for children. Which I can’t really disagree with... if you really want a child, you can adopt one after deliberation, and not risk to produce a child accidentally that will be thrown into a very unstable environment. I get where Yennefer is coming from, though--it’s not really about a child, it’s about reclaiming the possibility of a choice that was taken from her. I think it’s more about having a part of herself taken away, and maybe she’s been rationalizing her feelings as wanting to be able to have a child, but I think it’s about the integrity and wholeness of her body, of getting back something of herself she got robbed of (even if she chose it at the moment--but it was a choice dictated by the desperation of fixing what had caused her a lifetime of abuse, suffering and self-loathing).

I love how this thing is all leading to Geralt becoming a mama duck.

(Yeah, I don’t know how this story will progress exactly, but I am assuming the plot is going to be about Geralt becoming a mama duck until proven otherwise. I mean, this episode is yelling at us that Ciri is going to become his adopted daughter, we just got hammered with a reminder that she’s tied to him by destiny and Geralt is now babbling about the fact that it’s not a good idea for him to have a child. But for some reason I expect Geralt to go through the story being imprinted on by every orphan or lost soul he meets, like baby ducklings with mama duck.)

(I can’t really think of Geralt as a father but I can only think of him as a mother, does that make sense? I’ve watched too much Supernatural.)

AAAAAAH he’s “thought about this--often”. He’s thought about children and parenthood. Excuse me, I needed that heart, who gave you the right.

Oh my god, he’s been avoiding the surprise because he knows he’s supposed to parent the child, and does not want to subject the child to the life he leads!! I am having feelings!! He does not want a child to go through what he goes through!! He’s literally been tormented by the idea that destiny wants to give him a child but he doesn’t want the child to suffer through the horror and pain of his life!! Wasn’t one (1) show with these themes enough, did I have to add another??

Well, now Yennefer is going to be bitter that she’s been trying to get a child for decades and this dude stumbled into magical adoption just like that.

Also love how Geralt is like “why do I start babbling like an idiot when I’m near you”. It’s called being neurodivergent Geralt. I know this isn’t the take I was supposed to get from the scene but I’ll go with it. It makes sense okay?

Ciri catches Fake Mousesack, and They(TM) get fed up with the whole thing... Ciri is savage af.

The shortcut is terrifying and Jaskier is being perfectly reasonable thank you very much.

Nooo Beard Guy!!! Goergous Ladies!!!! I mean, I expected it, but still. :’(

Oh bby he’s trying to console Geralt and also working out his own pain.

The directors have a favorite angle to shoot Geralt, uh.

Yennefer has made a Tardis Tent. And they have an emotional (emotionally mature, at least for they standards?) moments. They suffer a bit from a-man-and-a-woman-share-a-pencil-syndrome, but that’s just how the show has been working so far, it’s a lot about negative space, so I’m giving them a pass.

Me the other day, as a joke: the horse is the fantasyland equivalent of the Impala. This episode: if he wasn’t a hunter witcher he’d work with cars horses. *deep inhale* Okay.

Ah. Her dream is to be important to someone, yes. A child of her own would be a sure way of achieving that.

Alright, this scene was sweet. They lil stupid faces when they wake up together. They’re dumbasses but cute.

And Ciri is caught. This guy is either feeding her some fat lies or not, let’s see. He speaks destiny stuff so he probably believes what he’s saying. The camping party was talking about the religious zealotry of Nifgaard peeps. He’s probably the religious righteous type, which is the most dangerous type.

OH! Now this is intriguing! It’s Them(TM). And yes, he believes the prophecy stuff, and the shapeshifter thinks he’s insane. Yep.

Yennefer cheats at track and field.

I have a theory about the dragon, let’s see.

Ho ho ho! This is great, the ladies are alive, Suspicious Guy was not what he appeared uh.

I was right, the dragon was a she and had a baby. That was my theory. Yennefer was after it for motherhood reasons... but the real motherhood was the dragon she was after all along.

Suspicious Guy was indeed a gold dragon, the rarest, the ones with the very peculiar mutation... of course. I should have expected it. He hired the only person who’d empathize with dragons and could protect the baby dragon. 

Mama Duck Geralt Foreshadowing Abounds!!

Sorry guys, Team Protect Baby Dragon are the most badass people around.

Dracarys.

Ah, I’m so happy about how this episode went. Sorry for poor dragon mama, but the rest was 👌🏼

Dara is done with white people bullshit, which we can’t blame him for.

And now it’s time for draa~ama! They break up. I mean, I knew I’d happen because they’re dumbasses and just at the beginning of their character development arc. I want them to be each other’s weird ex that somehow is always involved accidentally in everything the other does.

Dragon Dude is like, forget heterosexuality, embrace your true nature as a Mama Duck.

Well, dumping your frustrations on Jaskier doesn’t seem fair. Aw, that’s so sad. Yennefer and Geralt speak the same emotional language, but Jaskier is a lil dumpling.

Fringilla boosts Creepy Religious Dude’s self-esteem. They have a Mission!

And we’ll see how it goes in the next installment...

This episode was really good. Yep.

[laetittya]

everytime cristiano ronaldo scores somewhere in the world a baby starts crying just because. reblog to make him retire and stop these poor babies’ suffering

[alwaysmychoices]

Liam x MC (Collins Alexander) Pregnancy Headcanons 👶 – Picking the Name

 ❤️Name selection is very serious – so serious that Madeleine prepared at least four binders on the subject, including family trees and associated controversies with each potential name.

❤️Collins, obviously, read them all. After the third binder, she almost gave up naming their child anything.

“That’s it, we’re not doing it.”

“Doing what, love?”

“Naming our child after all of this.”

“The name doesn’t have to come from the binder-“

“No, I mean, after reading all of this, we’re not naming our child at all.”

❤️Liam could see that the stress of producing the perfect heir was weighing on his wife, and he took it upon himself to make her forget about the external expectations and focus on the fact that they’re actually having a baby. After everything they went through, they’re married and expecting their first child, and the astonishing reality of that is enough to leave him speechless.

❤️Part of not stressing about the heir is not discussing names – at least not right now.

❤️Not that either of them can help themselves or that anyone stops asking.

❤️Because they didn’t have a name, they started calling the baby their “little apple,” and it became so common that Madeleine staged an intervention to make sure they didn’t actually name the baby “Apple.”

❤️At first, they just started suggesting names as jokes to each other.

“Baby Ronaldo won’t stop kicking me, Liam”

“I’m thinking Ben-N-Jerry as a first name and Cookies-N-Cream as the middle,” Liam teased, holding up an empty container of ice cream.

❤️This became a nightly ritual with the names becoming more and more outlandish until they suddenly became real suggestions.

❤️Because Collins left her home behind to be with him, Liam is very insistent that their child’s name reflect a part of her heritage. In the end, she shot most of them down (“We’re not naming the future King of Cordonia ‘York’ just because I lived in New York”), but it opened the discussion about how they want to raise their child and incorporate their unique pasts into their child’s future.

❤️Collins’ pregnancy happened to coincide with Mother’s Day, and for their first Mother’s Day, they went to Queen Eleanor’s garden to have a private picnic.

❤️The garden had been cared for by the top gardeners the palace could find, and they found a quiet spot by the roses to spread out their blanket. They stayed in the garden for hours, comparing hopes and dreams for the Little Apple growing in Collins’ belly.

❤️Collins’ head was in Liam’s lap, listening to his childhood stories while he played with her hair, and as he looked out at the garden, he admitted, “I wish she could have been here to see this all – to meet you and our Little Apple”

“I feel like I know her through your stories,” Collins caught his hand in her own, squeezing tightly, “And our Apple will know her, too.”

Liam squeezed her hand back, “Our apple will also know your parents – James Alexander and Rose Collins Alexander.”

Collins’ eyes glittered with tears, and she laughed as she tried to wipe them away, “Our moms would have been friends,” she motioned towards the rose garden, “Your mom was planting roses years before we even met.”

❤️They spent the rest of the day talking about their childhoods, their parents, and the stories that they hoped to pass on to Little Apple.

❤️Just before they were about to return to the palace, Collins looked at her husband, and she knew.

❤️ “Eleanor Rose. That’s her name. Princess Eleanor Rose of Cordonia.”

❤️It’s safe to say that they both cried – partially because of how their parents were being honored and partially because it was suddenly so real. Their Little Apple had a name!

❤️They were less settled on a boy’s name, and because she was named after her mother’s maiden name, Collins kept adding new last names to the mix.

“Alexander Beaumont Walker, Prince of Cordonia.”

“That was literally a list of last names, Collins.”

“Why is my name in the middle?” Maxwell whined.

“Why not throw in all of your friend’s names at this point?” Drake grimaced, imaging a poor toddler trying to cram all of that onto a name tag.

“You’re right, Alexander Beaumont Walker Lee Nevrakis.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

❤️In the end, it didn’t matter because, just as Liam suspected, their Little Apple was a girl.

❤️When they found out they were having a little girl, they invited their friends over for an intimate dinner to share “some big news.” Maxwell, lacking any sense of patience, kept trying to guess what the news was, but Liam and Collins held onto their secret until dessert when they served strawberry cupcakes. The second Maxwell saw the pink, he practically jumped out of his seat and asked if this meant that he was going to have a little niece.

❤️Collins and Liam announced their Little Apple’s name to their closest friends to resounding support. Hana started knitting personalized blanket ASAP, and even Madeleine admitted that they’d made a wise choice in the name. Drake immediately declared himself Ellie’s protector while Olivia insisted that she would teach Eleanor how to be so powerful she didn’t need a protector, and ignoring their spirited debate, Maxwell formulated every nickname he could think of for Eleanor.

❤️Everyone was under strict orders to guard the secret of the heir’s name until the birth announcement, and amazingly, they pulled it off.

❤️Collins and Liam enjoyed keeping the name to themselves. It was one of the few parts of the pregnancy not shared with the public, and it was a nice reminder that, even with media scrutiny, this was their little miracle.

❤️A few months later, Collins gave birth to a perfect little girl, and after a day of focusing on their precious Little Apple, Collins and Liam released their birth announcement to international fanfare. All of Cordonia – and most of the world, to be honest – celebrated little Princess Eleanor Rose.

Author’s note: I always pictured myself writing a series of Collins and Liam as they prepared for the birth of their first child, and though I never got around to it, I thought I’d start sharing some headcanons in celebration of The Royal Heir.

Also, for a long time, I’ve pictured Liam’s mom as Evelyn, so I had to change the name when we finally met his mom in this chapter.