#polites shirt says “keep calm and full speed ahead

[awnrii]

epic band au

bonus \/

[osamiiya]

Pairing: Tendou Satori x Reader

Type of fic: Angst (But make it like, the middle to end)

TW// Death, panic, slight panic attack

Summary: Tendou's in love, and he'll stay in love, because, how could he forget you?

A/n I'm back baby, also I cried while writing this so good luck 🤩

Songs I listened to while writing: Love Like You (Caleb Hyles) , Be my Mistake (The 1975) , Mr Loverman (Ricky Montgomery), Lonely (Noah Cyrus), She used to be mine (Jessie Mueller), Before you go (Lewis Capaldi)

"Satori~" Tendou turns around, grin only growing as he hears your sing song voice call from around the corner.

He watched with bated breath, letting out a soft sigh and a heartwarming smile, as he holds out his hands and pulls you into his chest. Taking a deep inhale and exhale.

"How did you sleep?" His grin is soft, and those who've only seen a sinister smile on his face from volleyball would be surprised at how full of love and adoration it held. Truly, Tendou's paradise from the rest of the world, a breath of fresh air from those who found him creepy or weird.

No, you weren't like them. Ever since the beginning you were always the first to jump in to defend Tendou, who had just started to shrug off the looks and whispers of those around him.

"The best sleep I've ever had."

"Yeah?" Tendou sways the two of you in his arms slightly, his tall and thin frame trying it's best to keep you warm from the fall air.

"I had a nightmare." Tendou hums, clearly not worried about it.

"You did?" Tendou's heart squeezes in a way he can't describe as you look up at him with innocent eyes.

"Yeah, your bus was in a car crash." He hums, chills running down his back as remembers the rush of feelings that accompanied the dream.

"Well, I'm here now, besides it's just a dream." Too engrossed in his conversation with you, Tendou isn't aware of the worried look Semi sends him and then Ushijima.

But before he can formally say anything, Ushijima interrupts him.

"He'll be ok. He always is."

---

Tendou's absolutely sure that the looks he's gotten from people in the halls have passed just staring because he was weird looking, there was some underlying message in the stares now, something he couldn't decode.

"Don't mind them Satori." You tug on his uniform blazer, marching ahead of him slightly, eager to get to the convenience store.

"You know y/n. Eating ice cream in the winter leads to all sorts of bad things." Tendou leans over you as you pick out an ice cream from the ice chest, hands coming to your hips and subconsciously rubbing circles into the uniform fabric as he pretends to compare the different ice cream types, as if he wouldn't get the same ice bar he always got.

Tendou's eyes sparkle with happiness as you pick out a new flavour, turning over your shoulder to smile and show him the ice cream you picked.

As always, Tendou pays. Something about how you can repay him later, maybe when a manga he really wants comes out.

"Satori, do you want to try?" There's a mischievous smirk playing at your lips as you hold out the ice cream. After stopping on a park bench, not to far away from the school, the two of you just couldn't wait to have the slowly melting ice creams.

Instead of licking the ice cream as you expected him to do, Tendou leaned over and planted a kiss on your lips, humming as he pulled back and licked his tongue over his lips, smirking at your bewildered expression.

"Tendou." Ushijima's curt voice pulls both of your attentions away from eachother and to the stoic boy above you.

"Ushiwaka, sorry we didn't get you an ice cream. You don't like them anyways, but I did get you..." Tendou trails off, rummaging through the white plastic bag you had acquired at the store, a polite smile on the underplayed college student's face.

Tendou lets out an 'Ah ha!' as he procures the mint chocolate flavoured protein bar you've seen Ushijima eat during practice before.

Ushijima takes it from Tendou's outstretched hand, a polite and curt thank you as he sits next to Tendou.

"We were about to talk about the literature project." Tendou hums, sending you a wink and taking a careful bite of his ice cream.

"Tendou, y/n is gone." It's like ripping off a bandaid, it hurt to see his best friend push himself deeper into a fantasy he created of his own imagination.

"Silly Ushiwaka, they're right-" Tendou's stomach drops as he turns and sees you with a sad smile spread over your features, eyes glassy.

"No, they're- Ushiwaka they're right here." Tendou's confused, was this a prank?

"Tendou, y/n's bus was in a very bad accident, and they didn't make it out of the hospital." Tendou lets out a dry and nervous laugh.

"No, that was my nightmare last night, there's no way..." Tendou's blood runs cold and his hands are shaking.

'Not my Y/n. He's talking about the wrong Y/n.' Tendou's thoughts are too quick for him to keep up with, quick breaths coming out in short bursts.

Words are trapped in his throat as he looks between you and Ushijima. Ushijima's face uncharacteristically full of pity, and your's sad, a tear rolling down your cheek.

"Ushijima I think I need a minute." Ushijima nods at Tendou's serious voice, on the verge of breaking, and gets up, walking a good distance away.

"You're gone?" Tendou's hands are shaking as his voice cracks, wanting to reach out to you.

"Satori, listen to me ok? I love you. Don't ever forget that." A tear rolls down Tendou's face as his thoughts become clearer by the second.

What was once incomprehensible static in his head taking the shape of a word, then two, until they formed a sentence.

'Y/ns gone.'

A sob claws it's way out of Tendou's mouth, and he feels like he's in elementary school again.

"Make sure you don't give Goshiki too much of a hard time ok? He's always trying to impress you guys." Both of your hands are on Tendou's face at this point, and it scares him that he can't feel you, your warmth gone, your presence hanging on by a thread.

"Always eat enough ok? I know you don't have a big appetite, but don't get sick while I'm gone ok? Don't skip out on your meals, please." There's tears running down your face, and Tendou finally notices how you're not really there, tears falling quickly, like rain on the bench.

"You're not here?"

You stop wiping his tears away, giving him a sad smile and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm at Tokyo Cemetery, darling." A bone shattering shiver rolls through Tendou as he lets out another sob.

"You can't go, I need you." Tendou's shaking, trying to suppress a scream in pain, his body overflowing with realizing and pain.

"You've been in denial Satori." You wipe his tears and leave a kiss on his cheek, and it kills Tendou inside because he can almost feel it. He wants to feel it. Tendou wants to feel your lips on his cheeks.

"Be good ok? Remember how we were going to go to Paris? Take my memory there, take me around Paris using that photo in your wallet. Kiss me goodnight, don't forget me." Your voice is strained and Tendou can't breathe.

"You hear me Satori? Don't forget me, ok?"

"Ok." He manages, it comes out forced , and very much real. A contrast to the life he's continued to live with you in his head, his body and mind now painfully aware that he'd been walking around like a husk of his last self, his mind entertaining the hope and the denial that, you y/n, were still alive. And Tendou could kiss you, and hold your hand, and see you in his jersey one last time.

'Y/ns gone.' And with that Tendou's back to the reality he hates, where you're gone. Tendou can't breathe and his mind feels like it's a tape recorder on 3x speed.

His heart is beating and his hands are grabbing for something to ground him. Seeing his best friend break apart, Ushijima speeds over, taking big steps and allowing Tendou to grip tightly to his shirt, sobbing loudly.

"I didn't get to say goodbye." He chokes out, burying his head into Ushijima's stomach, letting out a yell of pain and heartbreak.

Ushijima feels his heart constrict at the demonstration of his best friend's pain, the red haired boy screaming into his maroon shirt, soaking through the fabric as he rests his hand on Tendou's head, rubbing it in a way he's seen you do it before.

"I loved them and I couldn't say goodbye." Tendou screams, voice raw and filled to the brim with pain, lanky body shaking violently.

"I didn't get to kiss them one last time. I didn't get to tell them I loved them. I never got to take them to Paris like we planned. I never got to give them my volleyball jersey and see them in the stands, cheering for me one last time."

Tendou and Ushijima stay like that for what seems like hours, Tendou buried in his best friend's embrace, needing to be grounded from his raging thoughts.

"I loved them Ushiwaka." Tendou whispers, no longer shaking, voice and eyes hollow.

"I know Tendou." Ushijima tried his best to sound gentle, he knows that Tendou needs it.

"I didn't get to say goodbye." Tendou's like a broken record as Ushijima helps him get off the park bench, plastic bag filled with two uneaten melted ice creams picked up and thrown out.

"We were going to see the eiffle tower." Tendou whispers from his bunk above Ushijima's.

Body heavy with exhaustion, he's about to sleep when he sits up suddenly, hands panicked as he searches for something.

"Tendou?" Came Ushijima's voice from the below bunk.

"My wallet, where's my wallet?" He's stammering and his voice is raw from sobbing and his hands are shaking as he looks.

"Tendou." Comes Ushijima's calm voice as he gently hands Tendou the wallet.

Immediately Tendou opens it, digging through to find the picture he's sure he kept in there.

Pulling it out, he smiles gently, all run out of tears, as he brings the photo shakily to his lips, kissing the photo gently and smiling, looking into your eyes, frozen in time, no idea of the future, just pure happiness.

"Goodnight, my paradise."

---

Permanent Taglist

@sachirou-senpai @prayerofthehaim @ryusex-wife @x-ia-n @wompwomphq @elianetsantana @jovialnoise @yuujiya @peteunderoos @curiouslilbeast

[captainkappa]

Fanfic:: Sunday Run

Like many people, I fell hard and fast for Din/Luke and ended up writing this fic surprisingly fast for my standards. 

Luke goes for his Sunday run. He’s just not expecting to be passed by such a large group of people

Modern AU, Meet Cute

Link to AO3

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As sunlight streamed in from the edges of the window shade, Luke had to remind himself that even if it hardwired his body to wake up at 6 a.m. on a weekend, teaching was a fulfilling career.

He stared at his phone’s clock as if it’d personally offended him before dropping it on the floor and turned back over to hopefully catch some more sleep.

When he next opened his eyes, he was aware of the scratching at his door. He groped around on the floor, annoyed that his half-asleep self hadn’t thought to use the perfectly good nightstand that was right there. His fingers found purchase and squinted against the bright flash of the screen.

7:19 a.m.

Good enough.

Luke pulled himself out of bed, scrubbing a hand over his face before going about his morning routine on autopilot. He opened the door to start making breakfast and was unsurprised to find a put-out Artoo sitting just outside his door, tail flicking as angrily as a cat could.

“What?”

Artoo continued to stare at him. Luke walked over to the cat’s food dish, finding it a quarter of the way full, with a small spot in the center with no food.

“Oh, come on, that’s not empty. You were not about to starve last night.”

The cat did not look convinced but happily munched when Luke refreshed it with new food and water.

He started breakfast, only pausing to answer a text, to reassure Leia that he’d be over at her place for dinner. He leaned against the counter as he ate, glancing over to Artoo who looked very keen on stealing some.

“It’s not eggs today, buddy. I got too much shell in it last time.”

He’d wanted to try cracking an egg one handed, not wanting to get his prosthetic dirty. It hadn’t gone well.

Artoo didn’t look impressed then, and he didn’t look impressed now, letting out a meow.

Luke rested his elbows down. “Do you think I should actually go on a run today, buddy?”

Sunday runs were a fickle part of his schedule. If he was at his best, he’d do five miles every Sunday morning before enjoying the rest of his day off, but sometimes the looming threat of the work week or the effects of last week made him skip. The past couple of weeks, though, he’d been on a streak, but he was just getting tired of looking at the same buildings in his neighborhood.

Artoo said nothing, shifting in his spot to lick his leg.

He sighed, “You’re right, I should.”

He left the plate in the sink to clean up later and finished getting ready for his run. He slipped a sock on his elbow and attached one of his cosmetic prosthetic arms, not needing to be interrupted by someone wanting to know his life story just to tell him he’s “so brave.”

(If the person was an asshole about feeling entitled to his life, Luke made up an increasingly incredulous story involving sharks or killer bees or both in the case of one annoying woman in a checkout lane. If they were nice, they got the condensed version, car accident. Very few people knew of the argument beforehand he’d had with his father, how he’d gotten in the car furious, how that blinded him to the drunk driver swerving into his lane.)

Slipping on his shoes and gave Artoo a passing scritch on the head. The cold, early spring air was a shock, but he resisted the urge to go back to swap out his shorts for sweatpants. He’d warm up as he ran. When he got into his car, the check engine light flashed as it had for the past two weeks and like he’d done for the past two weeks, he ignored it, muttering about how he’d get it checked when he had the funds. Teaching was emotionally fulfilling; it just wasn’t monetarily fulfilling.

The car rumbled to life and he turned out of his neighborhood. As he’d gotten dressed for the day, he’d landed on a park he’d gone to a couple of times before, hoping a change of scenery would help in keeping the motivation to run.

For a Sunday morning, it was pretty quiet. The park had only opened a half hour before and there were maybe five other cars in the lot. Once there, he stretched in the parking lot and picked a trail in the wooded area. He hoped he’d be avoiding most of the runners picking pathed paths rather than the more natural ones.

Luke went for his phone and sighed, realizing he’d forgotten his earbuds. He shrugged to himself before jogging his way over the path. Hopefully nature would give him something to look at. Maybe he’d even practice some of that mindfulness Uncle Ben kept talking about.

Asphalt gave way to packed earth as he arrived at the start of the path. He gave himself one last quick stretch before starting to run in earnest. Trees surrounded him on all sides, growing thicker as the path leaned to the right. The trees were still bare from winter, allowing more sunlight through the branches. The path was firm packed earth, with some tree roots poking out of the ground.

To his right, the forest gave way to a lake and then a river, the earth slowly sloping downward until he was running beside a sharp decline, nothing so dangerous as to need a fence, but noticeable that Luke made sure to be aware of where his feet landed. If he couldn’t afford a major car repair, he certainly couldn’t afford to trip and fall down that hill.

Luke took in a purposeful breath, pushing away thoughts of money. Maybe mindfulness could be the goal of today. He thought back to how Uncle Ben had described it. Start from the bottom. Focus on your feet, keeping light steps as-

“On your left!”

He glanced over at the woman passing him and gave her a polite nod, which she returned. Her black hair was pulled into a ponytail, bouncing as she jogged past.

That was okay, other runners were a normal part of going to parks. He’d just have to recenter himself, start again. Focus on the feeling of running shoes on ground-

“Make way!”

He looked over to see a bald man passing him, gaining speed as he yelled something to the woman ahead. Luke couldn’t make out the specifics, but he could hear her laugh.

Okay, not everyone can be a considerate runner, but that wouldn’t damper his spirit.

He found his rhythm again, focusing on the trees around him, the purpose in each step he took, how running made him feel. It almost a decent replacement for music.

“Incoming!”

Almost.

Luke nearly stumbled at that loud introduction as a short woman with wild curly hair grinned at him and passed him.

He didn’t have time to process that when he heard a man with a soft Southern accent say from behind him, “Pardon me.”

Luke looked up and damn near blushed when the man gave him a wink as he passed. Any ability to practice mindfulness went out the window as he watched the man jog ahead in front of him. But who could blame him for having his thoughts wander, who jogged in a cowboy hat?

He took a deep breath. It was fine. So what if he was used to peaceful runs with little interruption? So what if his thoughts were turning to annoyance as this trail was more crowded and loud than he was used to? Luke could handle that.

Luke was just getting in the mind when there was a cough and he turned to see two women power walking behind him. They paused their conversation to give him a look that forced him to step off the path to let them by, some dirt and rocks coming loose and falling the short ways down the hill. He gave a polite hello that neither of them returned.

He busied himself with stretching, ready to get back to running when-

“On your left.”

An annoyed comment was on the tip of his tongue, but the steely gaze of the woman in all black made him clam up.

He checked his phone briefly, the app he used informing him he was nearly halfway to his target. A satisfied thrum filled his body and he got back on the trail, focusing on getting the burn back in his legs, how he knew it’d feel good later to know he’d gotten out early and was able to jog amongst nature.

There, it wasn’t that hard to get back in the jogging mood.

“Passing.”

Luke didn’t even have time to register why that voice sounded familiar as the man accidentally clipped his shoulder. He stumbled, his shoe catching a root sticking out of the ground and pitching himself sideways off the side of the hill. His life flashed before his eyes as he blindly reached out for a branch, a twig, anything to keep him from tumbling down. For a moment he was surprised when his hand grabbed onto something soft before he was quickly righted, a hand on his shoulder and prosthetic.

Heart pounding in his ears, he could only barely make out the man in front of him – who saved him – asking if he was okay. He just nodded, only aware he was being led to sit until there was firm ground underneath him.

As his pulse calmed, he looked at the man who was now kneeling in front of him and, wow, way he handsome. Dark brown curls slightly matted by sweat, light brown skin showing beneath a gray shirt, sunglasses perched on his nose, but most noticeable was the baby carrier on his chest. The child, who couldn’t be more than 18 months old, was looking at Luke with wide eyes, arms outstretched.

“Are you alright?” the man asked again, voice low with concern.

Luke swallowed before finding his voice, “Yeah, just got tripped up by that one guy.”

The other man nodded and stood up. He offered a hand to Luke and Luke, still buzzing with adrenaline, falling on habits he thought he’d forgotten since the accident, offered his right hand, not realizing his mistake until the man pulled with more force than expected and pulled off Luke’s prosthetic with a soft ‘pop.’

The sunglasses hide the man’s face, but Luke can see the man’s growing confusion and embarrassment. Not wanting to put the poor guy through that, Luke surged up to his feet, gently taking the arm from the man and gave him a slight smile.

Luke knew he should something along the lines of “it’s fine, don’t worry about it!’ but that’s not what comes out.

Instead, Luke looked to the man (and when had he gotten this close to realize there’s a slight stubble on his chin) and said, “Guess you don’t know your own strength, huh?”

Before the man can react, Luke turned and continued running in the direction he was going, passing the group of people who had passed him minutes before. A couple of them nod, some shout out to him “Where’re you going in a hurry?” and “What happened to your arm?”

(The bald guy said the last one. It just pushes him harder.)

Thankfully, a branch in the path opened up and even though he hadn’t run a full five miles, he banked to the left, closer toward the parking lot. He didn’t stop until his car came into view, trying to catch his breath as the adrenaline passes through him. He reattached his hand, flexing the other one that had cramped up from holding it so tightly.

“Don’t know your own strength.” Who the hell are you, Skywalker? Han wouldn’t even pull a line like that… okay maybe he would.

He shook his head, trying to put the man out of his mind. He halfheartedly stretched in front of his car, a bone-weariness setting in after everything that just makes him want to already be home in front of the TV.

Opening the car door, he fell into his seat. He pressed the keys into the ignition and turned the car on. It rumbled more than it usually did before making a noise like defeat and falling still.

“No, no, no!” he mumbled, trying the key again. Nothing.

The check engine light blinked as if to say. “I told you so.”

With a groan, his head fell onto the steering wheel, startling him as he accidentally hit the horn. He readjusted so he could wallow without informing everyone in a 500-yard radius how fucked he was. He didn’t know how long he sat like that, the logistics of repair crews and carpooling to work making his mind run overtime.

There was a crick forming in his neck and back when a familiar, high pitched voice called out.

“You good – oh it’s you!”

Luke looked up and saw the short woman with the wild curly hair standing close by.

He cleared his throat, not wanting to add ‘crying in front of strangers’ on his list of things he did today.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“You havin’ engine trouble?”

“Yeah, I-” and before he could say more, the lady had moved to the front of his car, popped open the hood, and was waist deep in his car.

“Not bad condition,” she said, “considering it’s an X-Wing. Don’t see too many of these older models out here.” She leaned around the hood, “I’ll need to get underneath to see how bad it really is.”

“Do you… work at a repair shop?”

She waved a hand. “Kid, I own a repair shop!” And before he could dispute being called a “kid” at the age of 28, there was a slightly sweaty business card for Motto’s Motors in his hand. It was close by his neighborhood, closer to the one he normally went to.

He was about to ask about prices, when the woman with her hair in a ponytail walked over.

“Everything okay here, Peli?”

The woman elbows deep in his car, Peli apparently, started explaining the car situation and then Cara turned to him with a glint of recognition.

“Hey there!”

Luke nodded a hello, and somehow, that led to the rest of their group (they were all a group, who jogged with this many people?) surrounding the car and introducing themselves to Luke, first Cara, then Mayfeld, Cobb, Bo-Katan, Koska, Fennec, Boba, Din and Grogu in the carrier. He’s surprised when, instead of going back to their own cars, they stay and talk around his, dragging him into conversations and asking his opinion on matters that seem like they have history. Luke glanced about, trying to follow everything, when his eyes catch on Din hanging off awkwardly to the side.

Finally, Peli shut the hood with a thunk and wiped her hands on her sweatpants. “I’ll give the boys a call, they can get a tow truck out here. I’m sure one of us can give you a drive down.”

Any arguments against accepting die on his tongue as she gives him a look that could melt icecaps. And there are no protests from her friends as they all start talking over each other once again, this time about car organization. Before he can comprehend, he’s handed his keys over to Peli, a loud call has been sent to Peli’s “boys,” and he and Din have been left in the parking lot. Standing together, Luke can better tell that he’s only a few inches shorter than the other man, but that doesn’t help him feel any less intimidated in the silence. Still wearing the sunglasses, Din doesn’t look all too happy, but it’s hard to tell.

“You know the um, arm thing? It’s fine, it’s just cosmetic, you didn’t rip any wires out or anything. I don’t even know how those fancy robotic prosthetics work anyhow, they were always out of my budget…” Too late, Luke realized he was rambling.

“So, it’s fine,” he finished lamely. Din nodded, but the air between them hasn’t seem to have cleared.

“You really don’t have to do this,” Luke said. “I can just grab an Uber.”

“No, it’s fine,” Din said, pulling out his keys.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, just… not a fan of being volunteered for stuff.”

He couldn’t tell if that made him feel better or not. Of course Din wasn’t a fan of being Luke’s chauffer for the morning, he had a kid. Luke slipped in the front passenger seat as Din spent his time buckling up the kid in the backseat, whispering to him. He couldn’t help but sneak a peak at the two through the rearview mirror, heart melting a little at the sight of how Din seemed to relax around the kid.

Having heard far weirder names among his kindergarten classes, Luke just nodded. Soon, Din was in the front seat, turning the car on.

“You ready?”

Luke nodded again and Din put the car in reverse, resting his hand on the back of Luke’s seat to back out of the parking spot. The car filled with an awkward silence as they exited the park, but Luke hadn’t expected much else, content to stare out the window and watch the familiar landscape pass them.

They had barely made it onto the highway where Peli’s shop was when Luke could hear Grogu fussing in the back. Without taking his eyes off the road, Din placed a free hand on top of the baby seat.

“It’ll be okay, don’t worry,” he said quietly, but Grogu continued to fuss.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he- he just doesn’t like being alone back there. I had picked up some of my friends, so he was fine in the way in, but they managed to pack themselves into two cars so-”

He was cut off by a cry from Grogu that filled up the car. Din leaned further to the side, tapping his hand on the seat. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m still here.”

That calms the cry, but Luke can still sense that Grogu wasn’t fully pleased.

Luke barely had to think about it when he spoke up. “Pull over.”

Din briefly broke eye contact with the road to glance at Luke. “What?”

“Pull over, I’ll sit in the back.”

“It’s fine, he’ll be-”

“Din.”

Din glanced over to him again.

“I’m the reason your friends aren’t able to in the car with him. I’ll be fine sitting in the backseat.”

He looked like he was going to say something, but instead he pulled his arm back, flipping on the turn signal to merge with the right shoulder. Another cry bubbled up from Grogu as they came to a stop, and Luke barely waited for the car to go into park before he’s out of his seat and in the backseat. It’s sort of a tight squeeze with the baby seat in the middle, but Luke doesn’t say anything.

Grogu looked up at him as he sat down. There were still some tears down his face and Luke carefully wiped them away.

“Hey buddy,” he said with a smile. “It’s alright.”

The kid babbled happily and reached out for him. Luke chuckled and held out a finger for Grogu to grab. The kid has a firm grasp, strong enough Luke knows he’s not getting his finger back anytime soon.

He lifted his head to tell Din they were ready to start moving again, but he paused, taken aback by the look Din is giving him. The sunglasses were still on, but he can tell something had shifted. Din is looking right through him, almost like when he was kneeled in front of him on the trail.

Luke swallowed down his shock. “We’re ready.”

Din just nodded and turned back in his seat, merging back into the early afternoon traffic. Now the car was filled with Grogu’s happy baby talk and Luke felt comfortable making small talk. He offered that he was a kindergarten teacher, which he could tell made Din relax even more. All he got from Din was he worked security, but Luke had never been one to mind talking, and it felt like no time has passed until they were turning into a garage with “Motto’s Motors” spray painted above.

Peli was already there, under his car, surrounded by the people Luke can only assume are “her boys.” Before he was fully out of the car, still extracting his finger from Grogu’s vice like grip, Peli was chewing him out for not taking the car in earlier. Thankfully, it was expected to be a small fix and she should be able to get it back to him tomorrow. They talked price as Din wrestled Grogu out of the baby seat. The cost was more than he wanted to hear, but not as bad it could have been, so he took solace that he won’t have to sacrifice too much of his wallet.

Luke was about to turn back to ask Din if he could trouble him for a ride home, when Peli called out, “Mando, tell everyone they can start brunch without me!”

Din nodded as Luke’s stomach sank.

“Am I forcing you to miss out on something?” he asked, looking from Peli to Din.

Din looked like he was going to say something before getting cut off by her, “Don’t worry about it! We do this every Sunday; we can afford to be a little late!”

“You do this every week? That’s nice,” he said with a smile to Din.

“Yeah,” Peli added, like she’d suddenly gotten an idea. “You know what, we probably have room in the carpool for one more, if you want to join?”

“What, me? I couldn’t-”

“It’d be okay,” Din said. “My friends all seem to like you… as does Grogu.”

Grogu cooed in his arms. Luke looked up to Din, holding eye contact for a minute before breaking into a smile.

“Alright then, I’ll come next week.”

[comic-book-jawns]

As Much As She Loved You

Edit: I accidentally deleted this because I am an idiot, so here it is again. CW: There are references to violence, homophobia and Dani's death. But there are a lot of sweet moments and what is I hope a mostly uplifting ending.

1988

“Hey, isn’t that... ”

Dani looked over. A teenage boy was getting out of a car across the street. He was taller than Dani had thought. She was used to seeing him sitting on the bench outside their shop reading. But he was skinny, couldn’t be more than 15.

He never came inside. And whenever either of them went out to say hi, he was always polite but never much interested in talking. Jamie had told Dani he remind her of herself at that age — minus the being polite bit, she’d added with a laugh.

“Yeah, I think it is,” Dani said, as they watched a man get out on the driver’s side. The boy flinched as the man slammed the door shut and looked away, hunched over, before the man even stepped onto the sidewalk.

She felt Jamie put a hand on the small of her back as she stepped behind her. Jamie then ran across the street, catching the man’s arm as he drew it back. He had nearly a foot on her.

“What the fuck?”

“Dani.”

Dani was a step behind her but turned to where Jamie was nodding. The boy had taken off down the street, but her head whipped back as she heard a muffled groan.

“Jamie!”

She was holding her nose. Even in the dark, Dani could see blood dripping down her chin. But just then, the man started moving again. Jamie managed to grab the back of his jacket just before he could take off after the boy.

“Dani, please.”

She was calm. She’d made up her mind. Uneasy as she felt, Dani nodded and took off.

*****

Just as she was starting to worry she’d lost his trail, Dani turned a corner and found him leaning against the wall catching his breath. He jumped and started scrambling down the block.

“Wait!”

The boy was picking up speed, but Dani was out of breath herself. She bent over, resting her hands on her knees.

“I’m - I’m like you... we both are!”

It was a risk, she knew. They’d both had their suspicions, as well as concerns about why he spent so much time alone and not at home. But Jamie had warned her that they might scare him off if they tried to pry. It was better, she’d said, for him to feel like he had a safe place to go.

But now the dye had been cast, so Dani pressed on.

“And I think - I think you know that... I think that’s why you sit outside our shop.”

Dani waited. The boy slowed to a stop.

“We want to help you.”

The boy slowly turned around, hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt. Even from a distance, Dani had to look up at him. She felt a lump forming in her throat. He didn’t look grateful. It was well beyond that. It was like he couldn’t quite believe what she’d said.

She gingerly took a few steps forward; but the boy didn’t jump back, and in fact, moved a little closer himself.

“I’m - ”

“Dani.”

Dani smiled. They’d introduced themselves to him months ago after he’d come by a few times.

“And my girlfriend?”

He went a little wide-eyed at the word but then smiled shyly.

“Jamie. She’s cool.”

Dani laughed softly. Without fail, every child they met described her as such — not that Dani disagreed, of course. She stepped closer.

“And you?”

The boy looked at her curiously.

“What’s your name, honey?”

“Oh.” He laughed. “Kyle. I’m Kyle.”

“Nice to meet you, Kyle.”

She extended a hand. Kyle looked down at it, then back up at her. He took a deep breath, then covered the remaining feet between them and shook her hand. Then, he returned it to his pocket, took a step back and cleared his throat.

“Kyle, you feel safe at the shop, right?”

He nodded.

“And you know how to get there from here?”

He nodded again.

“Good.” She dug into her coat pocket and pulled out keys. “Lock yourself inside, okay? And don’t open up for anyone other than me.”

He nodded once more and took the keys.

“There are snacks in the back room. That’s what the smaller key is to.”

He smiled.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

With that, Dani turned around and started running again.

*****

She heard Jamie’s laugh before she saw her.

The man looked almost exactly she’d last seen him. He shook hands with two cops. And then there was Jamie, sitting on the sidewalk, leaning back against a storefront. As she watched, Jamie turned toward her and spat blood onto the sidewalk.

The street lamp caught Jamie’s face, and Dani’s breath caught in her throat. The bloody nose had been horrifying enough to Dani but now she could barely see Jamie behind blood and bruising.

“JAMIE!”

Dani was sprinting, but she could barely even feel her legs. Jamie looked up as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and tried to stand but then gasped. Dani caught her and eased her back down, kneeling beside her. For a moment they locked eyes, tears streaming down Dani’s face, then Jamie buried Dani’s face in her shoulder.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” She smoothed Dani’s hair with a trembling hand. “It looks worse than it is, I promise.”

Jamie felt Dani shake her head, but before she could try again, she heard the man wish the cops a good night. Dani jerked her head up and was on her feet before Jamie could stop her.

“Why aren’t you arresting him?”

Dani managed to keep her voice level, just barely. But she could see the cops were already ready to call her hysterical as they turned around, sighing.

“Ma’am.”

“He assaulted my... friend.”

Dani just barely caught herself in time. It physically hurt to bite back the prefix, but she didn't want to make things worse.

“She instigated.” That was the other cop.

“Excuse me?!”

She was shouting now, but she no longer cared.

“She interfered in a family matter.” That was the first cop again.

“Where is my son, by the way?”

That voice again. The moment Dani’s glare shifted to him, she felt herself lunging forward. But then she felt an arm stretch out in front of her. Jamie’s chin rested on her shoulder.

“Is he okay?” She was whispering.

Once Dani calmed down enough to process what she’d said, she put a hand on Jamie’s back.

“Good. Let’s go.”

For a moment, Dani remained in place, and then she realized Jamie’s arm was shaking — her whole body, actually. She stepped back and gently took Jamie’s hands. Aside from the smear of blood from her mouth on her right hand, they looked perfectly fine.

Dani’s gaze shifted back to the man, who looked perfectly fine, except for his hands. His knuckles were bruised and cracked. Dani felt herself shaking now, too.

Even from the little Jamie had told her, Dani knew full well that Jamie could hold her own, regardless of her opponent’s size. It was the only thing that had made her feel at all okay about leaving her, and now she realized that Jamie had never had any intention of fighting. She’d simply been buying time.

And yet, she was still the one being faulted.

Dani gently wrapped Jamie’s arm around her shoulders and her own around Jamie’s waist, turning her back on them, and walked off into the night.

*****

“Should’a seen me back in the day.”

Kyle had been sitting behind the counter reading when Dani had knocked. Blanching, he’d scrambled out of his chair and rushed over with the keys. Wordlessly, he’d held open the door, then helped Dani lift Jamie onto the counter as she groaned.

Now he was back behind the counter, facing away as Dani examined Jamie. Dani had unbuttoned her shirt, which was already speckled with blood that had dripped off her face, fearing what more she might find, but as it happened, Jamie’s arms and body were largely unscathed, save a few bruises.

It was her face that would need tending to, as Dani had already seen. But now, in the light, Dani felt tears springing to her eyes once more. In addition to her nose, Jamie's lip was split in several places; she had cuts on both her cheeks; and her right eye was swelling by the minute, already half-closed. Jamie, naturally, was trying to laugh it off. But she stopped immediately when she saw Dani’s lips quivering.

“Sorry.” She cupped Dani’s face. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry.”

It was hard to remember sometimes just how much Dani loved her. Dani swallowed, blinking away tears, and gripped Jamie’s wrists.

“I’m just glad I’m here this time.”

“You and me, both. Self-amputation would’a been rough.”

Finally, Dani smiled, despite herself. As Jamie laughed, Dani looked behind her.

“Kyle, you hungry?” As she was saying it, she saw empty wrappers littered across the back counter. “Hungrier?”

*****

Dani paused after stepping through the door with the pizzas.

“Sorry, I - I didn’t know what else to do.”

Dani smiled. In the not even five minutes she’d been gone, Jamie had fallen asleep sitting up. Kyle was now awkwardly trying to prop her up with one hand and keep an ice bag secure on her eye with the other. And to top it all off, Jamie was wearing a sweatshirt two sizes too big — Kyle had insisted it was the very least he could do — which, paired with her jeans and Converse, made her look like a teenager herself.

“Thank you.” Dani put the pizzas down on the counter. “I can take it from here.”

Kyle gently let go, once Dani was in place, then stepped back, scratching the back of his neck.

“Actually, if you - could you drag the couch out from the back room?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course.”

Kyle emerged a few moments later. Dani turned to supervise.

“There. That’s perfect. Thank you.”

The couch was only a couple feet away now, facing the counter. She turned back to Jamie, put the ice bag down and wrapped Jamie’s arms around her neck.

“Oh, I can - ”

“I got her. You go ahead and eat... Thank you, though.”

Jamie was a bit heavier than her, muscle mass and all, but Dani had built up strength enough for short distances. Jamie, she’d learned, could fall asleep pretty much anywhere if she was tired enough. And it was certifiably adorable, though every time Dani couldn’t help but think with a twinge of melancholy about why she’d developed such a skill in the first place.

As Kyle opened up the top pizza box, Dani pulled Jamie towards her, gently sliding her off the counter.

“Mmm.”

Jamie nestled her head on Dani’s shoulder and crossed her legs around Dani’s waist.

“Hi.” Dani went into a softer and slightly higher voice reserved exclusively for sleepy Jamie. “Feeling better?”

She felt Jamie nod. After washing her face, then disinfecting her cuts and patching up those she could, Dani had given Jamie Motrin, which evidently had done its job.

“Good.”

Jamie had promised they could go to the hospital tomorrow to make sure nothing more serious was wrong. But for now, she wanted Kyle to be their priority. She hadn’t said that last part. But she hadn’t needed to.

Dani sighed, closing her eyes. For a few moments, she just held Jamie. Then, she opened her eyes, turned around, walked to the couch and gently sat her down. She closed her eyes once more as she kissed Jamie’s forehead, then reopened them and sat down beside her.

She could’ve made it to the back room, of course. It wasn’t that much farther. But she’d had Kyle drag the couch out because she hadn’t wanted to leave either of them alone, and she knew neither of them wanted to be.

Jamie, eyes still closed, curled her feet up, slowly turned onto her back and layed her head in Dani’s lap. Dani gently layed her left arm across Jamie’s chest, and Jamie wrapped her arms around it. With her other hand, Dani massaged the top of Jamie’s head.

“I’m so sorry.”

Dani looked up. Kyle was holding a slice, but he’d barely touched it.

“If I’d known... when I ran... ”

“She knew what she was getting into.”

“But she doesn’t even know me!”

Kyle blanched again, not intending to have raised his voice.

But Dani was smiling. She looked down.

“She didn’t know me, either.”

*****

2002

It had been years, over a decade, but Jamie had recognized him almost immediately as he walked through the doorway. He was even taller. He’d filled out. He wasn’t hunched over. And, most significantly, he was smiling, brightly, even moreso when he’d spotted her.

They’d hugged. Jamie had laughed as he practically bent double. Then there'd been the introduction.

“Thank you for everything you did for him,” Matt, Kyle’s husband, had said as he shook Jamie’s hand.

Smiling, Jamie had shaken her head.

“It was all Dani.”

Then, the inevitable question had arisen.

“Where is she, anyway?”

Kyle was now looking around the shop eagerly. Then, he saw it. The framed picture on the wall behind the counter.

“Oh... ” He looked back to find Jamie looking down. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

When Jamie finally looked back up, Matt was rubbing Kyle’s back as tears streamed down his face. He tried to rub them away when he saw Jamie looking at him.

“Sorry, I - ”

“No, no. That’s okay.” She moved closer to grip his arm. “Here, uh, stay here.”

A few moments later, Jamie was dragging the couch out from the back. Then, they sat. For a few minutes, no one said anything, save for Kyle thanking Jamie for tissues.

“She would’ve loved to see you, too.”

Kyle smiled sadly.

“I just - I wanted to thank her.”

Jamie nodded.

“No, not - not for the reason you think.”

Jamie raised an eyebrow. Kyle hesitated for a moment, then smiled again.

“That night on this couch we talked for hours. I told her everything... but she told me a lot, too.”

Jamie waited for him to elaborate but could already feel tears gathering in her eyes.

“The person we talked about most... was you.” Kyle swallowed. “That was really what gave me hope. I’d never heard someone — someone like me — talk like that.”

Tears were starting to trickle down Jamie’s face now, too.

“That was really what kept me going, more than anything... that one day I would find somebody who loved me... as much as she loved you.”

It was at that point that Jamie broke down.

“Sorry, I didn’t - I didn’t want to - ”

Jamie shook her head and threw her arms around his shoulders.

“Thank you.”

She could barely choke out the words. Then, she turned her head to the picture.

It was small. Dani wouldn’t have wanted anything ostentatious, she knew. And it was casual, just a candid she’d taken in the shop of Dani mid-laugh. She wasn’t looking directly at the camera, hadn’t even realized she was being photographed yet. And that’s what Jamie loved most about it.

It was just a snapshot of an ordinary day, except it wasn’t ordinary because days with Dani had never been. Only she knew when it had been taken, and only she knew why Dani was laughing.

“Thank you.”

[sanchosammy]

You’re My Person - Chapter Two

Word Count: 3980 - Chapter Two.

If you have any feedback, let me know! Much love to everyone who has been supporting chapter one. You’ve made my week!!

You loved working at the station so far. Nearly every morning for the past three weeks you walked through the doors full of happiness. It was only your second month living in Colorado Springs again but this had become your new comfortable in life.

Things just felt right in this job… in this town.

Not to mention you could say you had friends in town now. Well, kind of. It wasn’t the type of friends you had planned on making. Friends, nonetheless. For some reason the stubborn detectives found you tolerable to be around. It was never for perverted reasons, which you were thankful for. It would have been a ruined experienced for you considering you were a woman in a male dominated workplace. The group of grumps just liked you though and you found them humorous to be around.

Well, most of them liked you.

A particular detective would still avoid you as if you had the plague. That was Flip Zimmerman, of course. He did everything in his power to pretend you didn’t exist. You tried to find a chance to speak with him about everything; an attempt to bring some sort of truce between the two of you and find out why he hated you so much. That never worked out considering Flip refused to be alone in the same room with you.

The most you could get out of him was a few chuckles from his desk when he overheard a conversation between you and Ron. A slip up from his usual resentment filled attitude towards you. It was only this week that he stopped tensing up every time you walked into the room.

You leaned in the doorway with a smile. Jimmy, Flip and Ron grouped around a desk talking amongst themselves about something. Most likely about some case you assumed. You were meant to leave work a lot earlier as you should have been home by now, but tonight a coworker stopped you for conversation and it carried on a lot longer than you thought it would.

“Hey guys, I’m heading out. I’ll see you Monday.” You said while smiling at them.

This wasn’t an everyday thing but sometimes you found some sort of comfort in knowing there was someone you could say hello and goodbye to. Even if that happened to be your colleagues. The reality of living in Colorado Springs was not all roses and daises. This new lifestyle was nearly everything you wanted it to be but the fact is that nobody was waiting for you at home. That happened to be the only part that made you feel unsettled at the end of the day.

Jimmy smiled back with a brief wave before he returned back to studying the paper on the desk. Ron looked over as well and called back “Drive home safe, alright?”

You noticed how Flip watched the interaction wordlessly. A part of you hoped he would at least mumble some sort of goodbye but he remained silent throughout the interaction. You forced a smile as you turned around to leave. It was starting to become emotionally draining the longer he hated you. It was easy to not think about him when you lived somewhere else but this routine of having to see him physically loathe your presence each day was becoming more hurtful the longer it went on. You would’ve been understanding if he hadn’t felt anything when he saw you but this constant anger was kind of intense to deal with.

The air had already become bitter from the cold and it was only the beginning of fall. You could see your breath in front of you from the cold as you hurried into the car. The rides home had become such a bittersweet thing for you lately. It was calming after a long day at work but it still continued to bring forward that lonesome feeling inside.

Warm air blew out from the vent as the radio played softly keeping you distracted from the silence of the streets. The headlights illumining a soft light on the stretch of road ahead of you. This area of the ride home bothered you; it was a random stretch of nothing but trees until you hit the next neighborhood a mile away. You hummed with the soft music before a weird sound from the car cut you off.

And then another.

And another.

And then the car turned off completely as it began rolling to a complete stop. You pulled onto the side of the road immediately.

“Shit.” The only word that came to your mind was screamed out in frustration. You blinked looking at the now brightly lit gas-pump symbol mocking you from the dashboard.

You stepped out of the car and slammed the door out of anger. That anger mainly directed at yourself and now the poor car who had been starved thanks to your stupidity. You looked in both directions of the road trying to collect your thoughts. The closest gas station would be ten minutes away by car… Which wasn’t very helpful considering you didn’t have anything to put the gas in.

You let out a sigh while pressing your forehead against the cool metal of the door. The only answer coming to mind was to start walking in the direction of the store. At least it would have a phonebooth to call someone. And so, you started walking.

 A few minutes passed and the chilled weather was starting to make the tip of your nose burn. Headlights nearing you became a distraction on the otherwise empty and quiet road. An old truck slowed down as you became visible in the light and it eventually slowed to a stop next to you. You practically broke out a nervous sweat and swallowed hard trying to not seem freaked out.

The passenger window rolled down and you sucked in a breath.

“Flip?” His name coming out shaky as you said it. A mix between the cold and how surprised you were to see him out here.

“What are you doing out here?” His tone coming off harsh as he asked the question. His eyebrows scrunched together as he looked around the area for a hint to what you would be doing walking around at night.

“My car broke down… I ran out of gas.” You spoke up as you walked up to the window. The warmth from his truck felt heavenly.

He only briefly had taken in your appearance before speaking.

“Get in the truck, (Y/N).”  

The way he said it caught you off guard… It was as if there was no room for argument. No chance for you to say no. You paused for a brief second before pulling the door open. It was too cold out here to be stubborn. You didn’t care if he sounded that way at this point, you just didn’t want to walk any further in the dark. A small thank you came out as you practically jumped into the truck.

“Are you alright? Jesus, you’re fucking shaking.” He looked over you and it was the first time you’ve seen him so concerned about anything since you started working at the station. He turned the heat on a little higher. You hadn’t even replied yet as he did so.

“I’m fine, really. I was trying to find a phonebooth so I could call a tow truck or something.” You explained wrapping your jacket around you a little tighter. You looked over and the two of you made eye contact.

He had his red flannel on… something you really liked about him. He always looked so handsome at work in his plaid shirts. You only saw Flip from a distance because of how hard he made sure to keep away from you. Now being face to face with him, it made you grasp how attractive he really was. With you sitting in his truck across from him, you could even smell a soft presence of his cologne and it made your heartbeat faster in response.

“Fine? Your teeth are chattering.”

You snapped out of your thoughts and returned to the moment. You didn’t even notice the slight chatter until now. You tried to brush it off with a sheepish smile before continuing “I’m okay, I swear! I just…Would you be willing to drop me off at the gas station up the road, please?”

You sounded almost remorseful when you asked. You did feel guilt to some extent if you were being honest. He did everything in his ability to not speak with you and now he would be forced in a situation to drive you. And of course, you knew he’d do it purely out of his humanity rather than his feelings for you as a person.

He turned into his seat facing the steering wheel in front of him and his jaw tensed. He remained quiet without looking at you, seeming to be thinking it over intensely. Letting out a long-held breath before nodding more to himself than to you.

“I’ll just take you to get the gas… I have a container in the bed of the truck.” He wouldn’t look at you when he said it. His voice sounded forced and almost unsure if he wanted to let the words leave his lips.

Your voice coming out nearly a whisper from nerves. “Are you sure, I don’t mind waiting for a tow truck…”

He shook his head as he shifted the truck into drive. There were a few moments of silence from him as he picked up speed before deciding to finally speak up.  “I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone at night.”

“That’s what makes you such a good man.” You commented. You don’t know why you said it. An understanding that you knew he was only doing this because it was the right thing to do?

The rest of the ride to the gas station was filled with an uncomfortable silence. He seemed uneasy by your presence in his truck. You didn’t understand why completely but you tried to seem casual throughout the ride. When you arrived at the pump, he stopped you as you started to open the truck door.

“Just stay in the truck.” You blinked before shuffling to pull out cash from your pocket but he shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, I got it.”

Why was Flip being so polite… Awkward but polite, nonetheless. It confused you because he didn’t need to help you more than a ride here but he did. I mean, he didn’t seem fully happy about it but he didn’t leave you at the store.

You watched him as he pumped gas. His face showed how drained he seemed as the cold wind gently brushed his hair around. He looked tired and ready to be home… That thought floating in the back of your mind, who was at home waiting for him? Would they notice he wasn’t home at a usual time?

Anxiety rushed through you as a new realization hit. This was most likely the only time Flip would even speak to you. It was the only time he has even spoken to you in the past three weeks. It was wrong to use his generosity this way by cornering him but it was the only opportunity you had to force a conversation with him about his attitude towards you.

The ten-minute car ride you had left was going to have to be enough. You couldn’t let this chance slip away. You needed some sort of answer… Fuck, you just needed him to acknowledge you. There was a weird emptiness consuming you without him in your life. He was so close and yet always out of grasp. You wanted that childhood Philip back.

He slid back into his seat and pulled back out onto the road. He seemed a little less tense than before, one hand now on the wheel that he was no longer holding onto like it was his lifeline. You cleared your throat and attempted to get the conversation going. Start small, work your way up.

“I guess you’ll have to apologize to your wife for me. I’m sorry for making you get home so late.”

He raised an eyebrow from confusion but his eyes remained on the road ahead. He just mumbled back in that deep voice “I’m not married.”

“Girlfriend?” You asked almost too quickly.

“No, nothing like that.”

“Dog?”

That earned the softest of a chuckle out of him before a quiet no. You had butterflies at your ability to make him laugh even if it was a small one. You hated to admit how happy you felt knowing he was single. As if you had a chance though, the man treated you like a criminal.

“What about you? You don’t have someone worried sick that you’re not home yet?” He asked with an unsure voice and that shocked you. Flip was actually making conversation.

“Nah, nobody is waiting for me. I just moved back to town two months ago… My uncle Tommy left his place to me.”

“I’m sorry about Tommy, by the way.” He replied in a soft voice. The sympathy made you emotional and you forcibly held back some tears at the thought of your uncle.

“Thanks…”

You paused to calm down and simply collect your thoughts. You didn’t have time to cry in his truck. “So… I never pictured you being a detective. What’s that about?”

He looked over at you for a second before his eyes trailed back to the road again. He chewed on the side of his cheek as he thought about it for a moment. He was withdrawing again; you could feel it.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I like it.”

This was the wrong time to bring up the problem at hand but you knew deep down that he may never speak to you again anyway, and so you had to take that step now. You didn’t want to beat around the bush, you wanted an answer from him.

“Hey, I was actually hoping to talk to you…”

“Shoot.” He said without a second thought.

“I noticed that you don’t seem to like having me around at the station. Frankly, you seem to downright hate me. I don’t know what I did to make you this upset but I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’d hate for work to be this weird for us forever, you know?”

His hand tightened against the steering wheel and his knuckle practically turned white this time. It seemed to be a regular occurrence with him when he’s bothered. He let out a forced bitter laugh to himself. Not the reaction you hoped for.

“What?” You asked dumbfounded.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” He snapped at you in response.

“No, I want to talk about this Philip.”

“Have you considered that maybe I don’t want to talk about, (Y/N)?” He snapped again and his bitterness flowed back through his words and tone. His face twisting with irritation as he tried to focus on driving as if this conversation wasn’t happening.  

“Well, I do! You’re the one walking around the station with a stick up your ass all the time. At least I’m being an adult about this and trying to make amends. Which I would say is pretty mature considering I haven’t done anything to you.”

You knew this wasn’t the correct way to go about things. You planned for this conversation to be calm and talked through with understanding and respect for each other… However, all that went out of your mind the moment you heard that same attitude he would have when you were kids. It only brought out your own.

His eyebrows shot up as he scoffed at you, looking over for a moment to see if you were serious or not.  “Never done anything to me? That right there is your problem, (Y/N). You never took any sort of accountability for what you did to me.”

“What did I fucking do to you, Zimmerman? I would love an explanation as to why you’re such an asshole to me lately.”

“Because you fucking left me!” He screamed and it practically stunned you speechless. He didn’t care though. You opened up something that he tried for years to keep concealed, all his grief and anger from the situation finally releasing itself. The mental torture that you had put him through was finally being placed on display. “You left me. No warning, no phone call, no letter. Nothing. I thought you would come back but then you didn’t. I waited for you like a fucking idiot.” He slammed his hand against the dashboard at the last sentence, a reaction from the sudden hit of adrenaline and rush of emotion. He continued on, his voice still incredibly loud in the truck “And then I was convinced you had died! There was even a fucking rumor in school that you and your family died in a car crash and that’s why everyone in your house disappeared. I mean I had to hear about that for three fucking years.”

“I’m… I didn’t know, okay?” your voice was soft and you stuttered through the words. “This wasn’t all on me! I had no idea it was going to happen. Dad packed everything while I was at school that day and… I don’t know, Flip. I think he tried to skip town because he owed more than he could pay off.”

The truck had become deathly quiet for a minute. You didn’t know what to say and you felt left in a state of shock by his outburst. He was right though. Looking back on everything, that must have been awful to deal with… someone disappearing without a trace. It was fair to say you never had a choice over the situation, your father having removed all connection from Colorado Springs. You knew he couldn’t keep a job and later heard rumors that he was constantly asking for loans from local friends. Friends he never saw again after he left town.

You tried to keep in the tears and forced yourself not to sniffle. You couldn’t handle being seen as the same crybaby you were considered during your childhood arguments with Flip. Clearing your throat and attempting to speak without your voice cracking, which didn’t really work out. “When we moved, I was devasted… I was just as heartbroken. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you, I know it doesn’t seem like that but I promise I would’ve given you the world if you asked me… God, I’m so sorry Philip.”

Flip slowed down and pulled over near your car. You looked over at him wondering what was going on through his mind. Flip didn’t move hardly and he refused to look at you. His eyes closed and his body remained tense. The only thing noticeable being his chest rising with heavy breathes.

You didn’t know what he was thinking. He had finally got something off his chest that he was holding onto for several years. You imagined this was his closure; that he could finally move on from the past and open up a new chapter. With a heavy exhale you decided to not force him to say anything.

“Listen… I understand now. You won’t have to speak with me again outside of the job…. Thanks for the ride, Flip.” You practically whispered. It wasn’t bitter or cruel when you said it but sincere. You don’t blame him for not wanting to see your face. You wouldn’t want to see you every day if you were in his position.

You pushed the truck door open and the cold air hit your harder this time. The fresh tears on your face felt warm because of it. You couldn’t help but shiver slightly from a mix of adrenaline and stepping out of the warm truck. Lifting the gas container from the back of his truck was surprisingly a lot heavier than you expected and you attempted to not show that.  

The truck door opened forcefully before it was slammed out of presumed anger. The sound of the metal clicking together was full of intense emotion. A part of you grimaced from the sound alone. He probably noticed you having trouble with the container and felt obligated to help you, and that bothered you intensely.

You turned around ready to turn down his offer and tell him you have it under control before you stopped in your tracks. He was storming around the car and you didn’t know what this meant for you. He hardly stopped in front of you as he didn’t hesitate to cup your face with his warm hands bringing you into a kiss. Full of passion and lost time between the two of you. He didn’t hold back as you stumbled backwards into the side of his truck, which he practically pushed you against with his own body.

He was the one to pull away after a moment and it left the both of you breathing heavily. He didn’t say anything about the conversation, the kiss, or anything at all. You watched as he picked up the gas container and poured it in the car for you silently. You didn’t want to say anything though. Nearly numb and high from the feeling of his kiss; you couldn’t think any further about what this meant right now so instead you watched him pour the gas.

 He finished and placed the container into the bed of the truck. You watched him closely as he stepped closer to you and you don’t know why but he slowly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. His chin resting on the top of your head, much like he would do when you were teenagers. The memory of him teasing you about the height difference resurfacing from the action and you couldn’t help but smile from the feeling of doing this again.

Flip was warm and he smelled like a mix of men’s cologne and cigarettes. You liked it, honestly. His arms wrapped around you made you feel secure and it was the first time in a while that you felt this way. A fear was already settling in that this could be the last time and it scared the shit out of you. It was too soon to even ask him to not let this be the last time he holds you this way… Did he even forgive you for everything? Was this his way of showing forgiveness?

He pulled away without any rush before pulling you by your hand to the car door. He opened it and held it ready for you. You slipped into the driver’s seat of your car and finally looked at him. This whole thing feeling unreal and somewhat like a fever dream. He seemed unsure of what he wanted to say and so instead he leaned down slightly.

“Get home safe, okay?”

“You too, Flip…” You whispered back. He smiled softly looking over your face for a moment. Like this was the first time he had truly looked at you since you came back. Then shutting the door and standing there waiting. He didn’t return to his truck until you pulled back onto the road; you could see him watching you from the rearview mirror as you slowly pulled off.

You didn’t know what this meant for the two of you. Was this an accident from him? An attempt at finding some sort of peace from the past?

You hoped he would continue whatever that was. You’d never been kissed like that in your life. You’ve never felt any sort of spark between you and another person like that, and you honestly craved more of him.

Work was going to be weird Monday.

[who-is-olivia]

Who Is Olivia?

Harry Styles x OC

Harry proposes during the recordings of Made in the AM. [4.2k]

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: hello! fine line is on the way and i think i might have a creative meltdown when it arrives, so i'll just keep posting whatever i please with all the beautiful content harry's ever brought to light. this chapter is a throwback to old school 1D fanfics, bringing the boys back because i'm soft and i miss one direction =) enjoy xx

August 2015

“And you will find me... in places that we’ve never been, for reasons we don’t understand, walking in the wind” he sings in the booth for the 8th time, then stands quietly for a few seconds to give her a clean cut spot. “How’s that?”

“You’re almost hitting the note, but it’s not quite yet” Olivia comes over to the booth, “If you put more pressure in it you might find the best placement, come on, do it again”

He rubs his frown in stress, it’s late and he’s tired, having Oli press him is not helping at all. “Don’t we have a take already?”

“We have, but you can do better”

“Come on, love...”

“Trust me, you can do better-“

“Can we take 5?” he asks Julian, who just shrugs. It’s already late, it makes no difference. However, Olivia doesn’t take it half as well as him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m bloody exhausted, that’s what, and having you... diss me every two takes is not helping”

“You think I’m picking on you?” she asks skeptically.

“I’m just saying you don’t criticize Liam or Niall half as much as you do me” he fires back in frustration. Instead of lashing out as he expects she will, Olivia waits for him to calm down and then spells it out for him.

“The only reason I push you is because I want you to give your best. If you want someone to pat your head and shower you in compliments, you’ll sound fine, but fine is also mediocre” he nods in agreement, letting his head fall embarrassed. At the comfort of that position, he almost lets his eyes close but he knows once he does that he’ll probably fall asleep. “We’re almost there, just help us out”

“Alright... I’m sorry” he replies with a small sigh and so she pulls him to a hug, letting him rest his head on her shoulder as she strokes his back.

“Forgiven” she leaves him with a small smile and a quick kiss, “Don’t forget to put pressure on it”

Julian starts the recorder once again, signaling to him that they’re rolling before playing him the playback. “And you will find me... in places that we’ve never been, for reasons we don’t understand, walking in the wind”

Oli waits for a couple of moments before grinning, “I think it’s the take, come out here”

  After Zayn left, making the fifth album was insane. The four of them kept pulling to completely different artistic directions, Julian could barely help them with the singles so little he could give some coherence to the album. That’s when Oli decided to step in.

  Harry knows he pales in the shadow of her abilities as songwriter, virtuosi and producer altogether so he willingly gave her the helm. At first, the other lads were uncomfortable with her command, fearful that this was one of Harry’s things he does for love, but surely enough Olivia proved herself to be very experienced. Harry always wanted to be an entertainer, but he never truly endeavored to become one before the X-Factor, however Oli’s been almost genetically programed for that, studying music ever since she could talk, studying every part of the process and also rubbing shoulders with generations of rockstars. She’s the woman for the job.

  For their luck, Oli and Frank have been touring across America keeping track of One Direction’s leg in there, often making shows in the same city but a few days apart. To keep up with the recordings, she’s been making an extra effort, dedicating almost all her vacant hours to the album. As they often record in hotel rooms, it at least offers a place for them to pass out after endless hours of work.

“Check it out” she places the heavy headphones over his ears so he can hear the mix with the guitar base. Her whole equipment lies on the bed and over the tables, it’s the best she and Julian could assemble... at least it gets a really great sound.

“That sounds really nice” he smiles at her.

“See? I told you”

  She takes all the material they recorded and starts mixing with Julian at their improvised studio. At some point, Liam and Louis decide to participate, leaving Oli free to rest after long hours of work. She curls up in the bed and immediately blacks out, making Harry feel a bit guilty – through all his hissy fits about exhaustion he never once considered how tired she must’ve been feeling, as not once did she bring it up. But now there’s no point in apologizing, he just lays behind her and spoons her back, holding her like a big teddy bear through deep slumber.

  He wakes up hours later with her still unconscious in his arms. It takes a moment for him to realize where he is, getting up without moving her the slightest he notices Julian and Liam still glued to the computer. At the balcony, he finds Louis and Niall sharing a beer and laughing while the sun creeps up the horizon, so he decides to join.

“Morning lads”

“Morning, Romeo” Niall pokes.

“What’re you up for?”

“Trying to come up with something, we’re still missing a couple tracks” Louis explains, taking a gulp of beer. “You’ve got anything?”

“I always do, just don’t know if it could make it to the album” he mentions while resting his back on the railing. He keeps a writing journal full of poems ever since the band started, and in it he keeps great ideas that never saw the light of day. Recently, he wrote one that feels very personal and very cheeky... just thinking about it makes him laugh. “I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I have a really great one”

“How does it go?”

“It’s silly...”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I just play around with Oli’s name” they raise their brows, ready to mock him. “One of these days she was telling me something about alliterations or something like that, and I just played around with the phrase-“ he blushes, “‘I love Olivia’, because the L sound just bounces off. So I wrote a song for her that went I live for you, I long for you, Olivia, I’ll be now idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia... see? It bounces off”

“S’ a bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Niall comments skeptically but Louis is thoroughly entertained. “Using her name on the song, it’s not very subtle”

“We’ve got songs with names on them” he argues, playing with the glass bottle. “Don’t see why not”

“We better tell Liam about it-“

“Tell me what?” the man himself walks through the door to join his bandmates with a bottle of his own.

“Harry’s got a cool song for the album but it’s got Oli’s name on it” Niall explains.

“Is she cool with that?”

“She doesn’t know yet” Harry clarifies.

“Well, is it a good song?”

“It’s not done yet, but it has potential” he insists while noticing how much their confidence as a group has grown over the past few months. They embark on his idea without even hearing the full song, although they’ve been rewarded for their trust time and time again. Harry came up with some great compositions this time around, taking all his experience with the band and Olivia in consideration.

“If you want, you can make a demo when we get to London and show us what you’ve got. I think we booked Abbey Road for a couple of days”

“Alright, I’ll give it a go”

  Before they start the British leg of the tour, they get a couple weeks off schedule which give Harry some time to finish the melody before actually recording it. The last shows of the American leg take place fairly close to New York, so he and Oli get to go home ahead of everyone else. Sadly, one side effect of touring for three months in a row is an empty fridge, making them drag their already exhausted bodies out of the house for their meals.

“Do they need someone for the orchestras? I know a guy who can help” Olivia tells, holding her Starbucks cup in one hand and Harry’s on the other.

“Thanks love, but we’ll record the rest in London”

“Oh, right! I forgot... shit, I’ve got to book a flight” she gets ready to fumble for her phone but he holds her wrist.

“I’ll get a private one, just chill, I’ve got this” he soothes, pulling her hand to his lips then smiling amicably.

She smiles back but it immediately flips into an irritated growl. “For fuck’s sake”, he turns around and notices a couple paparazzi snapping at them. When they notice they’ve been caught they lose all decorum and just harass them.

“Harry, how’s the tour? Are you taking a break?” one of them asks, shoving the camera on his face.

“Hey, back the fuck off-“

“Oli, don’t” Harry holds her closer, taking the sunglasses from his shirt and handing them over so she can at least cover her face. “Let’s get a cab”

“Have you been talking to Zayn?” another one asks.

“Would you please let us through? We just wanna walk” Harry pleads politely.

“Sure man, I’m just doing my job” a third one steps out of the way, helping him and Olivia reach a cab and leave the streets for good.

“77th with Central Park West, please”

Olivia watches the paparazzi stay behind as the taxi speeds by, “Where are we going?”

“It’s a restaurant beside Central Park, I went there the other day, thought you might like”

She smiles, “Look at you, all local and stuff”

“I’m looking forward to at least a year of vacation, might as well learn my way around”

“Oh, thank you, by the way” she returns the sunglasses which he stores in his shirt once again.

  They disembark at Central Park, being faced with an enormous queue outside the restaurant they were set to enter. In spite of it, they decide to walk around anyway. The park is a couple blocks away from their apartment, a purposeful decision as Harry appreciates extensive morning jogs when he sticks around. Although they come from polar opposite backgrounds, they both grew accustomed to New York and truly built a life in the city.

“A little blue bird told me that we’re recording at Abbey Road next week... is it true?” she taunts.

“Yes...” she celebrates discreetly, “You’ve never been there?”

“No, never! I always wanted to record something there”

“And Uncle Paul never took you?” he mocks.

“Very funny” she scowls in return, pushing him away.

“You know, it’d be crazy to go to Abbey Road with a Beatle...” he pulls her back, “What do you say? I give you the Road, you bring the McCartney?”

“He’s probably busy” she laces her arm around his, “Uncle Jim used to say Paul and Ringo only show up if there’s a wedding or a funeral... let’s see which one comes first”

“Let’s see” he looks down, his mind immediately sinking deep in thought.

  They’ve talked about getting married, they agreed to it months ago but they never made a move to officialize it.  They didn’t arrange a party, invite their friends or consult a register office — hell, he didn’t even buy a proper ring. For a moment he frets she might think he’s given up, they’ve been living in good graces for three years straight, the only reason they’re not properly married yet is... inertia. Maybe, with the stars aligning and time on their side, he can come up with something.

“What is it?”

“Hm?”

“You got all quiet all of a sudden” she rests her chin on his shoulder, “What is it?”

“Just random things in my mind”

“Yeah, no shit!” he chuckles, “Mind to share?”

“Have you ever written songs about me?”

She frowns, “Not exactly... I usually write about what I feel, and you’re usually the cause of that but it’s way more complex than that. Feelings are a mix of all the baggage you have from life and a catalyst, something that makes you express that. Sometimes that’s you, sometimes it’s not”

He sighs, sometimes she’s humiliatingly clever, “That’s very... fancy”

“I know” she holds on to his hand, holding another over her eyes as the sun hits them directly. “Have you ever written songs about me?”

“All my songs are about you in some way, shape or form, I don’t even have a fancy answer for that” he takes his sunglasses off again and places them over her face, she mutters a small ‘thanks’. “And it’s a bit weird ‘cause I always want people to relate to the songs but I feel like they’re too specific, might as well just slap your name in the title” he suggests almost as an internal joke with himself.

“I think you’re not getting this right”

“Yeah?”

“Take Uncle Paul for example: he wrote a bunch of songs with names on them and people still relate to it. Like Michelle, Dear Prudence, Sexy Sadie...”

“I think they listen to it more like made up stories than like autobiographies”

“Maybe, but you see, these songs have a clear subject and yet everyone can be touched by the lyrics. When you hear Dear Prudence do you think about Prudence Farrow locked up in her room at an Indian meditation camp?”

“I didn’t even know that story” he admits.

“Exactly, and you don’t have to! ‘Cause when you hear Dear Prudence you understand it’s about going outside, enjoying the day and feeling good about yourself”

He ponders, maybe his song can make its way to the album like that: being based on this incredible experience he lives every moment they’re together but still describing something everyone goes through, “Yeah, it feels like that”

“See? And he’s not talking to you, he’s talking to Prudence” she points a finger on his face to prove a point. “The best art makes you feel personally addressed, even if there’s a name between the artist and the listener. You can quote me on that”

“Alright, clever clocks” he pulls her to a hug and presses a playful kiss on her lips, which extends to this sweet contact in the middle of Central Park. This last album has been challenging, it’s pushed Harry so hard he sometimes feels he’s not up to task as a singer, a composer or a producer. And having her beside him’s helped him realize all the things he can do as well as what he can be better at. He breaks the kiss but keeps his forehead pressed against hers. “Thanks, love”

“I can tell when you need a pep talk”

“Really?”

“Yeah, my left nipple starts aching” he laughs between them and curtly gropes her left tit.

“This one?” she pushes his hand away.

“Stop it!”

  Their domestic week ends too fast, soon they’re back in London to record the rest of the album. Her words help him finish the song without any insecurity holding him back, in fact it inspires him so much that as soon as he gets to London he walks into Cartier and buys her engagement ring. He chooses a delicate one in rose gold with flowers engraved on it and a small diamond nestled between the carvings.

  Today is the last day of recording at Abbey Road and he decides this is the day he’ll propose. However, to do it right, he’ll need a plan:

“Lou, keep her busy in studio 1” he instructs, gathering the four of them on a circle with their arms around their shoulders, almost like a football team, “mess up as many takes as you can-“

“That won’t be hard” he mocks.

“Liam and I will record the strings and the vocals at studio 3, remember, you have to stall her there”

“We get it mate, keep her in studio 1” Niall sighs tiredly.

“Right, when I call her up, you wait outside the hallway. I’ll play her the song and ask, if she says no... please, pretend like it never happened-“ Lou smacks the back of his head. “Ouch!”

“Stop saying that, focus!”

“Alright!... when she says yes, you can bring it on” they all nod excitedly, “Don’t forget to bring Frank up!”

“We’ve got this” Liam hypes, putting his hand in the middle so they follow. “3, 2, 1-“

“We push!”

  The plan gets into motion when she arrives at the studio, leaving her coat at the door. She starts taking pictures of the lobby to send her Uncle, but as soon as she crosses the security Louis comes over and drags her to studio 1.

“Come on lass, we’ve got loads to do!” he pulls her by the hand playfully.

“Calm down, I can walk!” she groans but jogs behind him nonetheless.

  While she’s busy recording Lou’s uncannily messy vocals, Harry and Liam greet a violinist that plays the sheet music for the chorus and the outro. They’re recording and mixing at the same time, hurrying to get a decent enough base for the vocals with what they’ve been working on for the past couple of days, skipping through compressors and equalizers just to get something done.

  At the hallway, Niall is returning from the restroom when he catches Olivia sneaking out studio 1 to look for Harry.

“Oi! What’s up?”

“I can’t take this anymore, if Lou messes up one more time I’ll hit him with my shoe” she pulls her braids out of her face. “Where’s Harry?”

“I... I don’t think he’s here yet” he messes up the last few words. God he sucks at lying, and his hard accent doesn’t help one bit.

She frowns suspiciously, “You  sure?”

“We can call him later, come on” he pushes her frustrated self back to studio 1, “we don’t have all day”

  Few more hours pass and Niall replaces Louis in the recording booth to give her a break, they know he’s got the best intentions at heart but it’s not working a treat. Harry steps into the booth to record his vocals in one go, it doesn’t sound great but he can work on it better if they actually decide to put it on the album. He’s got a lot to prove with this song: for once, he has to prove himself as an artist that can make something incredibly specific and still relatable; and then prove himself to the band, even if it’s probably their last album he wants to be relevant in it. His songs were never really taken seriously, neither were Zayn’s, and he doesn’t want to thread the same path as him.

At last his input is enough, they get great takes and start mixing it together with time to spare — that is, until Louis rushes inside: “Lads, come on, she’s not buying it! Tell me you’ve got it”

“We’ve got it!” Liam replies enthusiastically but Harry holds him back.

“Wha- No! I-I haven’t got anything!” his heart starts racing as it never did before, the prospect of the big moment being so close terrifies him. “I’m not ready for it”

“Of course you are! Mate, you’ve been together for ages, this is just one more step” he encourages, holding Harry by his shoulders.

“Bloody hell... what if she says no?”

“She won’t say no!”

“What if she does?!”

“Then nothing changes! You keep on living your life just without a ring and a wedding date” Louis argues, crossing his arms casually as he tries do play it cool. “Now, can I call her in?”

Harry takes a deep breath and nods, Liam’s hands slip from his shoulder with a friendly pat. “You’ll be great”

  They leave the studio with encouraging looks, leaving him alone and anxious in the vast studio. He pats his jacket to find the box safely stored inside his pocket, one more time he takes a deep breath. This is happening. The silence seems to extend for ages when the door opens again, this time for Oli to sneak in. Once he sees her it dawns on him what is about to happen, but he doesn’t panic... instead he feels at ease.

“What are you up to?” she tip toes inside and sits on his lap, pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Just checking this demo”

“Hmm, quite the professional!” she mocks, looking at the tracks. There’s too few of them, only one vocal track and three instrumentals. She’s about to mess with it when he holds her hand.

“Before you play... just bare with me, it’s not ready yet, it’s just a demo –“

“It’s okay Haz”

“– I know, but it just might not reach your standards...”

“Harry... look, I know how hard you’re working on this, I’ve watched you learn this bit by bit for years. I had a lifetime of learning what you learned in five years, don’t be harsh on yourself” she strokes his hair with a humble smile, as if she’s begging him not to torture himself about it. “Now, may I?” he nods in response so she hits the space bar.

 The metronome count starts and a simple violin chord plays before Harry’s vocal kicks in blasting around the room’s sound system. Although she loves every piece of him to the bones, there’s something special about his raspy voice that gets her weak in the knees. She listens to it keeping her eyes fixed on the ground to better focus on her hearing. The first couple of verses are a bit weak, but she won’t say anything to an already nervous Harry. The following ones sound a bit better until it comes to the pre-chorus.

“Please believe me, don’t you see the things you mean to me oh! I love you, I love you, I love-I love- I love Olivia”

“Wait” she frowns at the computer, then the chorus progresses.

“I live for you, I long for you Olivia-“

“Oh my god...” her eyes turn to him in a bolt, he only smirks with those cheeky dimples of his and hugs her waist closer.

“... I’ll be now idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia. I live for you, I long for you, Olivia-”

“Oh my fucking god...” he laughs at her reaction, covering up her mouth in a struggled gasp. “You didn’t!”

“I did!”

“When you’re gone and I’m alone you live in my imagination, summertime and butterflies all belong to your creation. I love you, is all I do, I love you...”

She chokes a bit at the lyrics, and that is the moment Harry chooses to get the velvet box from his pocket and show it to her. “Oh, come on...” she cries absolutely overwhelmed at the sight of that beautiful delicate ring. She was successfully fooled, in no way would she ever imagine that the sound he was working so hard on was for her and that it was also his proposal... still, all she can do is smile and cry at the same time.

“I think I’ve said it all already, but still” he starts, her reaction causing him to tear up a bit. “You said you wanted a ring, a speech and an ugly cry”

“I did, didn’t I?” she tries to say through a sob.

“Will you marry me, love?”

“Yes! Of course!” she cups his cheek earnestly and kisses him with all she’s got, leaning into him gently but with the sheer will of a hurricane. She breaks the kiss only to wipe her own cheeks and leave a strained chuckle, “I swear to you, one of these days you’re gonna kill me”

“No way, who’s gonna finish the album” to that, she can only roll her eyes. “May I?” he takes her hand.

“Please” she watches him slip the delicate ring on her finger, astounded by his attention to detail. “It’s so beautiful... everything Haz, seriously, the song is...” she huffs, absolutely speechless. Harry smiles in satisfaction, lacing her hips as she hugs his neck pressing herself completely against him, feeling his love irradiating from every pore.

“I meant every word” he whispers, cupping the back of her neck and showering her with small pecks on the cheek.

“She said yes?” they both turn to the door and find Liam, Niall, Louis and Frank lining up at the frame waiting to come in.

“Of course she did!” Harry answers smugly.

“She said yes!” Lou screams, sparking a big celebratory mayhem of champagne popping and flying paper around them. “You should’ve seen his face when we left, he was totally passing out”

“He was shaking” Liam adds.

“Thanks mate, cheers”

“Were you stalling me today?” she points to Louis in accusation.

“In my defense, I was told to stall you for the whole afternoon”

“Can’t believe you were all in it... how long have you been outside?”

“We got here when the music started, I gotta say... it’s really good” Lou compliments, handing them plastic cups of champagne.

“Really good” Niall joins, “We should put it on the album... I mean, if you’re ok with it”

“I’m more than ok with that” she laughs.

“Than that’s it! Just missing another three songs” Louis mocks.

“Can we take a break? Just got engaged, if anyone noticed" Harry shrugs, his inner egomaniac begging the attention to turn back to him.

"Cheers!" they join cups in the center an down the content of their cups merrily, then doing it again this time with Harry and Olivia crossing their arms to do so.

A/N: and that's it! just a small taste, i've got more stuff cooking, adore you has been driving me crazy all week but i'm still figuring out how it makes me feel and how it can become a story... you'll see xx

Check more at masterlist

[stoopsbookstore]

Babydoll -M-

Synopsis - 2 weeks since the abandoned house incident, Taeil has been acting stranger than normal and Y/N has been avoiding him for some reason. During a night out, Taeil is pissed and wants answers.

Warnings - 18+ content, Sexual Content, Demon!Taeil Series, a little bit of bloodplay, Exhibitionism, Corruption kink, Chain kink, Minor character death, third party masturbation, not as kinky as last chapter, but still smutty, go ahead and report me for writing a Demon!Au. It's tagged and there's a warning list right here. This is a work of fictional smut between two consenting adults with a Demon theme.

The male had Y/N pressed against the wall, his bloodied hand ahead her neck as he plays with the hem of her skirt. Placing kisses along her neck, Taeil listens to Y/N's melodic moans.

"I can't stop thinking about that day, that day I claimed you as mine. Every day, I've came here and tried drinking my feelings away," Taeil backed off of Y/N, walking towards the bed, laying down, "but I always go back to you. All the times I'd see Jaehyun or Taeyong staring at you, like you're a piece of meat."

Y/N tiptoed to Taeil, straddling him as she gently kissed him, "so, are we going to talk about what you just did to that guy?"

"It'll take a while," Taeil wrapped his arms around Y/N's waist, dragging her down into a rough kiss, "but first, I have a big problem to solve."

Taeil had dragged everyone to a club, 'it's one a friend of mine told me about,' he told Johnny, which wasn't a total lie. It just happened to be his friend that latched onto him when a few of them decided to play with an Ouija board.

The club had the normal section full of drunk dancers, bar fights and the one couple fucking in a stall. If one was to go down the stairs and through a lone door at the end of the hallway, they'll find a down-and-dirty free-for-all. There were whips and chains on the wall, several rooms, some with beds in them, sex toys abundant.

'The Lower,' as it was affectionately named, hidden from what demons called "normies." If a normy was to go through the door, they would just see an empty room, but if escorted by a demon, they would see the deliciously dangerous world.

"Can you tell me why you've been avoiding me since we went to the creepy house?"

Taeil was pissed. Y/N had been avoiding him after the "incident" at the abandoned house. Was she ashamed? Embarrassed? Hurt? Taeil had been trying to get answers fron the girl, but she runs away everytime their eyes meet.

"I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been busy," Y/N keeps her head down, avoiding eye contact with Taeil, clenching his fist while blood drips down.

"Not avoiding me? Everytime I try to talk to you, you disappear. If I text you, I'm left on read. If you hear me over the phone, you hang up, and don't lie because Taeyong always has you on speaker, so we all can hear your voice."

Y/N got up, attempting to avoid the awakward situation as Taeil slapped his drink off the bar out of frustration, starting to run after Y/N.

"What the hell was that about?" Jaehyun stopped Taeil, attempting to dodge the younger male, watching Y/N go out of sight with Taeyong, "Dude, what the fuck!"

"Move, Jaehyun! I need to know why is she avoiding me!"

"She's avoiding you because she doesn't want to ruin your friendship! She thinks it may have not been the right thing sleeping with you! She loves you, but she'd rather have you as a friend than lose you as a lover!" Jaehyun blew up on Taeil, the older male frozen in place as Jaehyun went to check on Y/N, "maybe you need to calm the fuck down before talking to her."

After standing in silence for a few minutes, Taeil walked outside to see Jaehyun with arms around Y/N and Taeyong rubbing her back. He punched a window, scaring everyone outside as he ran back inside, Y/N following after him.

"Taeil, stop! Your hand is bleeding!" Y/N reached from the boy, barely catching up to him as he started walking down a set of backstairs.

"Oh, now you want to care?! You avoided me because you thought I was a mistake?!" Taeil yelled, "I just now got the courage to talk to you, to tell you how I feel, to fuck you, and you turn your back? Why?"

Y/N was speechless, just following Taeil as he blew through a door, some older demons looking at the new couple, the scent of human filling their noses.

"Looky looky what the newbie bough-" before the demon could finish his sentence, Taeil waved his hand, twisting the demon's neck, his head now looking down at his back as he fell to the ground.

"What was that?! "

"We'll talk about that lat-"

"But Il-ie please," Y/N stepped into the room with a lone bed on it, "ever sinc-"

"I love you, okay?! I have for a while now. I just recently got the balls to say something and I want your answer right now," Taeil's eyes, despite being a dark red, still held a sense of humanity in them, "do you want me or not?"

Y/N placed her hand on his cheek, Taeil cupping it as he watched Y/N contemplate.

"Yes."

Taeil pulled down his pants, pulling out his cock, teasing Y/N as he rubbed his shaft up and down her lace panties, "I have a present for you, darling."

"You hid a present? Were you that confident in you were going to get laid tonight?" Y/N sat up, a moan coming out as her covered slit rested on Taeil's hardened members.

Letting out a fake laugh, Taeil reached over to the dresser, pulling out a little box, a red bow on the top. He presented it to Y/N, a horny smirk amongst his face as she opened it, revealing a choker with a chain hanging from it.

"A leash?"

"No," Taeil unclasped the choker, putting it comfortably on Y/N's neck, gently pulling the chain "a choker, it has a protection spell on it. As long as you wear it, those fucks out there won't mess with you."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, "you need to explain all of this as soon as possible."

Taeil thrusted his hips, a giggly yelp escaping Y/N, "I will explain everything, I promise, babydoll."

Taeil tapped Y/N's legs, the girl falling to the bed as Taeil stood up from the bed, kicking his pants off as Y/N pulled up her skirt, fully revealing her white lace panties.

"Such delicate fabric for a delicate girl," Taeil chuckled, peeling the underwear off of Y/N, "I can't wair until you're all mine. Marked up, the innocent look in your eyes will have a glint of deviance behind them, that only I will know about."

Taeil pulled the chain of Y/N's choker, the girl being brought closer to him. He pulled her shirt up, revealing the matching white lace bra, "you're keeping that on. I'd love to see that covered in my cum."

Y/N started rubbing her legs together, Taeil noticing as he kneeled down, kissing her thighs.

"Il-le, please," Y/N started to slowly roll her hips, attempting to get Taeil to kiss her center.

Taeil waved his hand over Y/N, a chain tying her hands together behind her back as he licked a strip up her slit, "patience, babydoll."

Moaning at the new nickname, Y/N continued watching as Taeil started eating her out, biting her thighs inbetween licks of her clits. She tried to reaching for his hair, forgetting about her new accessories around her wrists. The taste of Y/N on his lips was driving Taeil crazy, he could cum untouched right then and there. He stood up as he sensed Y/N getting close to her high.

"Lay back, babydoll," Taeil licked his fingers, inserting them into Y/N as she arched her back at the sensation, a knock on the door interrupting them, "I wonder who that could be."

Taeil took his fingers out of Y/N, opening the door to reveal Taeyong and Jaehyun, wide-eyed, Y/N not even bothering to cover up, "would you mind?"

"Not at all."

Y/N opened her legs a bit more, as if to entice Taeil to forget about anything else except her. Jaehyun and Taeyong sat on a couch in the corner of the room, Taeil shutting and locking the door.

"How long have you two been fucking?" Jaehyun asked as he rubbed his thigh in anticipation.

"Since we went to that house," Taeil pumped his cock in his hand a few times, shallowly thrusting into Y/N, tormenting the girl with a little taste, "one thing led to other and whoops."

Taeyong just watched in silence when Taeil helped Y/N onto her knees, one hand on her hips and one hand on the chains as he pushed into her, bottoming out, Y/N's moans echoing in the room. Jaehyun palmed his growing bulge, feeling turned on watching Taeil pound into Y/N, her breasts bouncing in her bra. Taeil pushed Y/N down, her throwing her ass back as he took off his shirt, throwing on the head of the bed. His thrusts were calculated, precise and driving Y/N closer to her edge. Jaehyun reached into his pants, the scene in front of him memorizing and Taeyong watched into amazement.

Taeil pulled Y/N up, the chain on her choker getting pulled and her head resting on Taeil's shoulder, his thrusts getting tiring as he took one hand and begun rubbing her clit. Both paces of his cock and hand speeding up, Y/N's moam encouraging him. Jaehyun kept pumping himself in his pants, attempting to be discreet as possible. Taeyong made no effort to relieve the thump in his pants, making a mental note to lock the door to the shower and play loud music to cover his moans later tonight.

Y/N begun to shiver as Taeil continued rubbing her clit, the wetness between her legs leaking down her legs, a blanket of tired falling over her. Taeil touched the chains, the metal evaporating into thin air as Y/N fell down on the bed, her hands barely holding her up.

Seeing his love so exhausted, Taeil pulled out and gently rolled her onto her back. Taeil pumped himself, strings of white liquid falling over Y/N's bra as he promised earlier. Jaehyun himself had finished as well, taking his hand out of his pants, a small gleam of white on his hand as Taeyong shook out of his self-imposed trance, breaking the silence.

"Jesus, Taeil. Never knew you had that in you."

After the sexually tense air cleared with the middle male's comment, Jaehyun and Taeyong stood up.

"If you don't mind, I'll say this politely, get out," Taeil kicked them out, cleaning Y/N up with his shirt as she looked at the male, the red light of the room on his face and the shadow behind him with horns.

"Are you going to explain to me what happened now?"

Taeil laid down next to Y/N after throwing his now-messy shirt to the side, bringing her close.

"Where do you want me to begin?"

[boogiewrites]

Mae Flowers 4

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Mae LeBlanc (OFC)

Word Count:  4900

Summary: A modern, magical Alfie Solomons AU. 

Warnings/Tags: Language.Magic/Supernatural. Soul mates. Racism, microaggressions. Some domestic fluff, getting to know you stage. Talk of past neglect, depression, anxiety.

Click on my screenname then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

Mae wakes up for the second morning in a row well rested. She'd gone to bed with a full stomach, having eaten their weight in seafood and grits the night before. She felt more at ease today with the fact that there was a man living with her now. He'd stood up for her, helped her cook and put Ruth and Nance's minds at ease for. She felt a warm feeling when she thought of him. It could be the magic, she thought.

Her inner light was growing stronger, it was being fed with another power like it's own, the darkness stirring up her previously unstable energies, making it build and heal itself from all the years alone and unsure. Alfie gave her a strange sense of fullness, stability of sorts she hadn't expected. Normally having another person in her life would make her feel anxious, second-guessing everything she did at the expense of her own peace of mind to keep the other person comfortable. But that wasn't happening with him.

She throws on her robe, scratching her head and yawning big, the smell of coffee hitting her nose as soon as her slippers start bopping across the old hardwood floor towards the kitchen. Alfie stood leaned against the counter in pajama pants and a soft, sleep rumpled t-shirt. His hair was a mess, one side flat and the other sticking up, his eyes lazy with smacking lips as he scratched his stomach waiting on the coffee pot to deliver.

"Mornin' love." he says with a slow nod, his voice deep and sleepy.

"Mornin'." she grumbles, taking a seat at the table in a sunbeam.  Percy lets out a little 'mrrrrowl' of greeting, bumping his head to hers as she runs her fingers along his spine. "Hey Perce." she mutters, his tail swishing in her face and making her nose twitch. She's slowly waking up, Percy laid out in front of her on his back, trying to be cute and keep her attention.

"Hazlenut or French Vanilla?" Alfie asks, standing with the fridge door open, staring into the dull glow.

"Thought you could read my mind." she smirks, her head slowly turning to him.

"I can but you don't know which ya want." he retorts with a snarky smile.

"Hazlenut." she answers with a nod, watching him bring the two mugs over to the table as he plops down next to her, landing in the chair with a loud scoot of its legs across the floor.

So what's on the 'ol agenda today?" he asks, sitting up straight and cracking his spine.

"Uh... not much. We got ahead yesterday." she nods and closes her eyes, taking a sip of the hot liquid and letting it warm her from the inside out. "Thanks for that by the way." she says, eyes blinking open now, looking more alert.

"Don't mention it. I'm here to help." he nods and watches her over the steam rising from his mug.

"If you need to like, do stuff here today you can." she offers. "Just basic stuff for me today to do at the shop. No orders or anything. All caught up for the week." she states with a lazy smile of thanks. "If you wanna unpack and get used to the place... bond with Percy." she nods over the lazy white cat soaking up a sunbeam.

"I do have stuff I can do today with ya out. Get me things all situated. What do ya say Percy?" he asks the cat with a smirk on his face.

Percy raises his head and looks at him, blinking slowly.  A weak meow escapes him before he lays back down totally uninterested.

"He doesn't care." Alfie chuckles.

"Alright." she nods, taking a bigger sip. "I'm gonna take this." she holds the mug in both hands and stands. "Gonna get a shower and get ready and be on my way. Make whatever you want, Friday's are my day I get a smoothie on the way to work." she says and he feels her excitement about the future purchase.

"Will do. I'll keep it simple. Lots of liftin' 'n that to do today." he groans and stretches, as she waddles back into her bedroom. ---- The calm she'd felt at home felt farther and farther away the further she got from home. The usual heaviness, that quivering ball of nerves that told her something was wrong, that she was wrong started to grow back into its usual place in her stomach. Mae sips her berry smoothie and leans over the front counter, her jeans feeling a little tight today, her toes curling and uncurling in the ballet flats that matched her green t-shirt that she'd had made for her company. Her loose spiral curls dancing around her shoulders, the various shades of almost black brown catching the light that came through the high windows of the crowded and humid building. This would be the only moment of peace that she got for the day, as the downpour of things that made her want to crawl up and disappear seemed to hit all at once, leaving her dazed and confused.

First, Jessica shows up. She struts in the door tits first with her large Starbucks cup in tow, overlined lips sucking away at the straw. She doesn't even look at Mae until she's right in front of the counter.

"What do ya need today Jessica?" Mae asks with a perfectly polite attitude, setting her drink down to the side.

"Where's that big leprechaun you've got in here now?" she asks with a smirk as she looks into the back of the shop.

"Leprechaun?" Mae's nose wrinkles up in question.

"What was his name. The big guy with the accent in here yesterday." she replies obviously, jutting a hip out in her annoyance.

"Oh. Alfie." Mae answers flatly.

"Yeah that big boy." she grins.

"He's not working today." she answers, trying to remain indifferent.

"Oh." she slumps and pushes her lips together into a tight line.

"He's also not a leprechaun." she clarifies. "He's English. Not Irish. And don't call Irish people leprechauns, that's just... some weird kind've racist."

"They're white and ginger, who cares?" she says without a thought and rolls her eyes. "Not like I'm calling you the n-word or something." she retorts like it means anything and Mae takes a deep breath.

"I'm not black, I'm Hispanic." she clarifies with a more forceful voice.

"Well, it's not like I'm calling you a... what's a racist word for a Mexican?"

"I'm Spanish not..."

"Tacos? Burritos? IS that something? Beans! Wait, no... Mexican jumping beans, yeah. Wait... that's not it."

"I know what you're thinking and there's no reason to say it. What do you want?" she answers more curtly.

"To see Alfie. He won't be in today?"

"No." another flat response.

"What's he doing today? Where's he at? What's his deal?" her inquisition begins, waving her cup in the air as she speaks.

Mae sighs and goes back to her smoothie. "He's at home. I don't know what he's doing. That's his business and you should respect his space. He was clearly not interested when you talked to him yesterday."

"He's just playing hard to get. You know guys, they act like assholes and you just have to get them to like you by doing stuff for them and letting them make fun of you sometimes. It's all part of it. Not like you would know. Not like anyone's trying to get with you." she snaps back.

"No, but that's..." Mae lets out a  heavy sigh. "Whatever." she gives up and takes a noisy sip of her drink.

"So he lives with you?" Jessica says with a tilt of her head. "You said at home. If not where does he live, you probably have that on file for his employee records or something, right?" she asks , leaning over the counter.

"He does live with me." she decides to not address the clear violation giving an employees persona information would be as she figures it's pointless.

"Wait... so are you guys like a thing?" she says with a clearly disgusted look on her face.

"No. He's a friend of a friend, he's new in town and needed a place to stay and I had a spare room."

"I have a whole guest house if he wants to stay with me. Got a pool and a hot tub." she grins. "So let him know I've got a real house for him to stay at if he wants."

"Are you saying my house is abstract?" Mae chuckles to herself.

"What?" she says with a twist of her neck.

"Nothin'." Mae rolls her eyes.  "If you don't need anything I've got stuff to do... so..." she says, looking over at the tall blonde under her lashes.

"You were just standing here so SORRY... thought you had free time." she retorts.

"I just opened. I have to let the systems boot up." she explains with a deadpan delivery.

"Is he workin' tomorrow?" she asks, one hand on the counter.

"No, we're closed tomorrow."

"Then Monday then?"

"Maybe." Mae shrugs.

"He's your employee, why don't you know?" she bites back.

"Because he's new here and he might need off to run errands to get everything settled." she says offers up. "Not that it's any of your business." she mutters.

"You just let your employee take off like that? Not knowing if he'll work and he can just drive around town all day?" she asks seriously.

Mae sighs again and takes another drink, not answering as a pain grew between her eyes.

"I wanna work for you then, dang." she laughs, her mood shifting fast. "Oh my God, ARE you hiring? I'd be willing to get my hands dirty for that little... whatever he is."

"He's English." Mae rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Little... what do English people do? Drink?" she asks seriously.

"Jessica I'm not hiring and just... please go, I have things to do." Maw says with a clear tone of exasperation.

"Fine. But I'll be back on Monday to see Alfie." she sass's taking a long drink from her straw as she walks backward, keeping an eye on Mae who watches her bump into a shelf as she tries to look cool making her exit.

"Bye Jessica." Mae says shaking her head.

"Tell Alfie I said Hiiiiii." she says before leaving.

"What an idiot." Mae says rubbing her forehead.

With a thoroughly racist and rude conversation to start the day, the day only picks up speed from there. A phone call comes in, an irate customer claiming she'd sabotaged her party. An order that was entered incorrectly by the customer, a miscommunication of what sort of flowers they wanted in their arrangements. Mae didn't know how this woman had written down Black-eyed Susan's instead of sunflowers on her order sheet, or picking a Transvaal daisy over a  shasta daisy, but she was certain this woman was overreacting at how the arrangements ruined her church's barbeque. Mae had pictures of flowers next to the names of them in her big folder that sat on the top of the shop counter specifically for this reason. She gave the book to customers coming in to make orders and it wasn't her fault she filled out the order how it was written and what the woman wrote wasn't right. She couldn't read her mind. But still, she was blamed, getting dog cussed for all she was worth, the woman even bringing the Lord into it and telling her she'd had to refund her in full. Which was in no way happening. After you sign off on the delivery sheet, everything is final. No refunds. There was a chance to say they were wrong before she signed, that's why Mae set it up that way. But the woman wouldn't listen and Mae ends up just saying 'I'm Sorry.' to everything she says, taking the abuse.

The woman gives up eventually after a few people are waiting for her attention for the lunch rush. She works as fast as she can, but the line grows as a little old lady requires her undivided attention, asking about every flower, telling her stories about the flowers her husband used to bring her when he was alive. On a slow day Mae would've indulged her fully but with customers waiting behind her the stress was sky high.

She apologizes and leaves the lady to talk to herself, ringing out people as fast as she can while they give her dirty looks. She had great pride in being a good business owner and people thinking she was bad at her job made her a mess. A child that was with a negligent parent that had been waiting, knocks over a shelf of succulents, her biggest sellers, destroying the handmade pots she'd made for them. In all, the day was a total shit show.

She shuts the shop up and cries as she finally gets around to cleaning up the broken pieces of pottery, nestling her little friends into one big pot for the weekend to deal with on Monday. She apologizes to them and she feels they understand, her tears falling into the new soil as she sniffles and packs them in. She hesitantly throws away the shattered pieces of pottery, thinking off all the time she spent painting and glazing each, how much time and money lost on them. How she'd have to ask for half the price until she could make more holders for the plants. A personal and a professional loss all in one.

She doesn't even skate home as she usually would. She throws her skates in her oversized work bag and walks, her feet feeling as heavy as her heart. Everything about the day had drained her. Her body was tired, her chest hurt from a racing heart all day from embarrassment and anxiety. Her pride took a hit from the disappointed looks from the customers. She takes a heavy breath, hand on the doorknob, hoping that Alfie wasn't about to add to the bad day she'd had.

As soon as she opens the door, the feeling she'd left the house with hits her again. She wipes her tear stained cheeks, setting her bag down by the end of the couch, seeing everything clean and tidy with candles lit and the smell of food coming from the kitchen. The house smelled amazing, it somehow felt amazing, like getting into a hot bath after the end of a long day. The build of depression holds strong as she sees everything he's done for her while she'd been out.

"Hello Mae!" he calls out cheerfully. "Ya need help with anyfing?" he says, moving pots around the stove top. "Give me just a second love and I'll be right in to help ya." he calls out over his shoulder.

She comes around the corner, her face was sunken and clearly upset, taking in the sight before her. A kitchen filled with a home cooked meal for them both. She sees bread in the oven, lasagna sitting on the table as he switches off burners and pushes the rest of a chopped head of lettuce into a large salad bowl. A tin of muffin batter sits on a tea towel at the end of the counter. She gets a swirling feeling in her stomach. It builds quickly and she starts to sob, putting her head in her hands.

He turns, wiping his hands on a towel as his eyes grow large at the sight before him. Her glow was dull, her curls falling into her face as her hands with their yellow chipped polish covered her crying face.

"No, no love now that won't do." he says, moving quickly over towards her. He takes her into his arms without a moments hesitation. "Come here, little Mae." he coos out, holding her to him. As much as he may have wanted, he didn't have much healing magic to pass around, he wasn't really a healer so much as a destroyer of things. "Shhh, there, there, love." he pats his hand on her thick hair, the smell of her shampoo rising up as he leans his face in close. She feels the warmth around her, the soft-spoken kind words from this man who had swept in and taken care of her without expecting anything in return. She felt her chest thump, her stomach building again and more sobs are pushed out as she lets herself wrap her hands into his t-shirt and press her forehead against his chest.  

He wears a deep-set frown, not knowing what was wrong, her thoughts a roller coasting of emotions, totally unstable and making his dizzy when he tried to read them. Her magic and mind were working hard and fast and he knew something must've set off the sensitive little thing she was. "Now lovely, we can talk 'bout what's got ya upset, or we don't have to say nuffin'." he gives a nod, putting his hands to her shoulders to pull her away, taking a handkerchief that was older than her out of his pocket and giving it to her.

She wipes her eyes and blows her nose with a little toot of a sound that makes him smile as she sniffles, nose twitching like a little rabbit. "I just wanna eat and sleep." she answers, staring into his chest, not looking up at him. Her voice was small but she felt smaller. She fought the urge to tell him she didn't deserve all this special treatment, she didn't understand why someone would be doing all these nice things for her. No one else ever had. Her last caregivers, the ones who left her the house had been good people, but they never coddled her. They never cleaned for her, held her while she cried, stood up for her when others would try to bring her down. They'd always left her to her own devices. She'd never had anyone to treat her like something worth going the extra mile for. It was all a bit too much on her weak shoulders after the day she'd had.

"Well lemme finish up dinner and you go get comfy and cozy on the couch and I'll come get ya and we'll take care of that 'eatin' bit, eh?" he suggests, rubbing her upper arms as he spoke to her with a voice that she could feel warming her from the inside out. Her light tried to fight past the years of neglect to make her bloom and be able to draw from that endless well of love she had so she could give it to her herself and not just those around her. But she was still weak, and there was time to grow. So it settles, feeling it's mate so close and humming in wait with a baseline of contentment.

She takes one of the fuzzy throws on the couch and wraps it around her, grabbing one of her decorative pillows and wrapping her arms around it to try to get comfy for a moment. She falls asleep while the bread is baking, her body giving over to a much-needed recharge after the stress that the day put her through.

Alfie pulls the muffins out and lets them cool, wiping his hands and giving a nod to the first big meal he'd cooked in decades. Being alone there wasn't much of a reason to cook big and when the last group of people he ran with being musicians in the 90's, he'd never had a reason to cook for a group of people. But now he had plenty of reasons to dust off the old domestic skills that his mother and sisters had helped him learn. The baking was more familiar, as per his old cover for his criminal days, but the meals were what took the most focus. With Mae's plethora of fresh herbs to use, and come harvest time a garden full of fresh produce, he was sure cooking would be something he used to help both of them learn some new skills.

He ponders what he should cover with her the next day as he watches her sleep on the arm on the couch. A headful of curls on top of a fuzzy blanket, her lips smushed out against the pillow she clutched in her arms.

"Mae." he says gently, leaning in close, a hand to her arm to rub her awake. She grunts and puffs out air between her pink and pouted lips but doesn't wake. The softness of her makes him smile, he enjoys it a moment without having to worry about making her uncomfortable. The long dark lashes spread out over freckled cheeks, her full brows set in a scowl. All curled up under the blanket she looked so small, and he supposes compared to him she is. Standing just a bit over five feet tall he supposes, her shorter frame gives her a stocky and soft appearance. With round hips that only slightly narrowed into thick thighs, he sees her small feet sticking out from the covers. Yellow nail polish to match that on her fingers on her toes. It wasn't only her body, her hair or her sweet face with it's round, button nose that was soft but her heart was as well. He could feel her power humming quietly, even it was still timid. His darkness wants it to burst, to flow out of her as it can do within him. It wants to soak up that innocence, that sweet softness that she's made of. His closes his eyes, his darkness rumbling, soaking up her delicate heat into its cold center, Alfie feels his limbs tingle, a prickling warmness that only she could give to him.

He exhales slowly, a hand soft to her hair, pushing it back. "Mae." he says, moving to give her nose a gentle tap.

"Mmph." she grunts, nose twitching as he eyes flutter open and meet his before she sits up to straighten her back, rubbing her eyes.

"Dinner's ready, love." he says, standing back up straight.

"'Kay." she mumbles, sitting in a daze as she wakes.

He beams at her, a smile she doesn't see. "Come on to the table when ya ready." he suggests, moving to go set their places.

She plops into a chair, the sleep slowly leaving her body as she watches him move around the kitchen, a towel over his shoulder as he cuts and plates her food.

"Now 'is I learned from an Italian, yeah? Found a wonderful little market when I when shoppin' today 'n got fresh cheese." he says proudly. "I went 'n did some of your shoppin' as well while I's out. Got more cleanin' supplies since I used most of 'em today. Got the bathroom and the kitchen. Dusted and vacuumed." he nods casually while trying to recall everything he did, wanting to let her know what he'd been up to, letting her know he was useful to her. "Already watered and fed all the babies." he chuckles. "Although I think a few in the greenhouse could use a personal touch. Wasn't about to try it meself. I'd just mess up all your hard work. So I figured we could start wif those tomorrow hmmm? Start simple with somefin ya like."  He moves his eyes to hers and finds a puzzling look on her face. Her eyes give true meaning to the term puppy dog eyes. Her mouth is slack, partially open and her big hazel eyes are glimmering at him. Not tears yet, but the look in her eyes says lots of things. He feels that loneliness that resides in her throbbing stronger. He decides to switch the conversation. "I made the bread, eh? That flour you use is top notch, love." he tries giving her compliments but it doesn't seem to help. "Used some cherry tomatoes out of the greenhouse for the salad, hope ya don't mind. The muffins are ready as well, made 'em with blueberries I found at the grocery. Hope ya like those." he continues plating her food. He doesn't look at her face, not wanting to seem nosey as she was clearly going through something. But he sees big fat tears fall onto the table top and he can't stop himself. As soon as he makes eye contact, he sees her face much like a baby's, a trembling bottom lip, wet rosy cheeks rounded before her face contorted and she hid it in her hands. "Oh come now, little one." he says dropping the utensils and kneeling next to her. "What is it love?" he rubs her back gently in a circle, his palm tingled as he felt the chaos inside her. Mending her was going to be a very messy job.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she chokes out between sobs.

His chest aches, his face falling out of it's friendly and polite expression he'd held in place for her sake. "Oh Mae," he whispers, pulling her to his chest. "There, there." he shushes her. "Why would I not be nice to you? You've been nothing but nice to me." he explains. "You're my mate. Your well bein' is me own, I would only be hurtin' myself to not try to take care of you." He invades her privacy, shutting his eyes and trying to see what was causing all the trouble.

He feels the day she'd had. He sees a lifetime of abandonment and neglect. All the bullies growing up, all the hardships she was given to overcome from a young age. An absent father, a childhood spent in the system and an adult life of loneliness and rejection. Putting herself out there time and time again to be met by men who didn't care or understand. He didn't see the loneliness, he felt it. He felt her bed only ever being empty and cold, he feels her heart struggling to maintain it's one-sided giving when no one would replenish it. Her power touches him as he's washed in all this hurt she knows. The light shines within her. With his eyes shut he can see it, glowing like the sun on an overcast day, trying to break through the barrier of gloom that spread across it. He can feel it's tired, that it's just as lost as her. But he most importantly feels that it knows he's there, whether Mae knows or understands it herself. Her power knew better things were ahead for them and Alfie felt more certain he would protect and help this beautiful soul as long as he could.

"I just... No one's ever... I'm not used to it. It feels..."

"Like you don't deserve it." he finishes her thought, hearing it ring true in his own head for so long.

"Yeah," she says with a whimper, looking back up at him. "How did you?" she trails off, wiping her nose.

"Because I know it too." he nods, using his handkerchief to wipe at her face. "But it's not true. Don't listen to that voice. It's a liar." he says sternly. "You deserve the world, Mae. You are bright and full of love and good and the world needs that so very desperately. You deserve every bit of kindness that comes your way. Don't you dare think differently."

Her doe eyes blink up at him, never having heard something like that said to her before in all her almost thirty years. "I..." she begins, not knowing where to finish her thought.

"You just sit and think about that, yeah?" he gives her a nod. "Let's eat on the couch." he suggests. "We'll stop this cryin'. We'll go get cozy and we'll eat until we can't breathe and that'll make ya feel better. Watch somethin' ya like?"

She nods and swallows noisily.

"Good girl." he gives her back a pat before pulling away. "Now go get ya blankets and I'll grab the plates." he says with a self-assured tone.

She lowers her head, eyes on the ground as she gets them each a blanket. He gets everything else in order and they flip through Netflix together, large plates of food sitting on pillows in their laps.

"What do ya like, eh? Nature documentaries I bet." he suggests and she gives a small but enthusiastic nod as she sticks her fork into her lasagna.

They sit together, side by side, eating the towering plates of homemade food. Alfie talks over the narrators, sharing things he knew, but mostly making up his own narration in an attempt to make her smile. "Now 'is one ain't lookin' for a mate, he's lookin' for trouble. He thinks 'is one's been talkin' shit, yeah. By the looks of 'em I'd say he's right. Look at those little shifty beady eyes, ya can't get that look past me." he wags his finger at the TV and looks down to see her smiling after a tiny huff of a laugh escapes her. "There she is." he says proudly, giving her a nudge with his elbow. She looks up at him bashfully for a shared glance, before turning her face back to the tv with a tiny smile that told him she'd be just fine.

@jaegeeeeer @negansdirtygirl22 @brianaisasongbird @hardygal69 @emerald-bijou @captstefanbrandt @coolgh0st @tinastarkandco @stylishmileage  

[emerald-eyes-8917]

Can You Hear Heaven Cry?

Title: Can You Hear Heaven Cry?

Rating: OG

Pairing: Dan Avidan x Reader

Summary: When the narrator receives terrible news, she reaches out for the only person who could bring light back into her life again.

Author’s Note: I wrote this in the space of maybe two hours, so please forgive any errors.  I was fairly raw when getting this down, and I made it intentionally vague so as to apply to anyone who may be experiencing a bereavement of their own.

It is never easy to grieve, and I hope you can find peace.

It couldn't be true...

The phone fell from her fingers as they loosened the grip around it, landing with a loud clatter on the floor.

Her entire body felt numb and her chest constricted in pain, breathing become shallow.

It couldn't be true... it just couldn't...

Standing from her desk, vision swimming and head spinning, she staggers across the office space, the only line of sight straight ahead, and not to the left and right of her.

She had to get to her car... she had to get out... she had to get out...

But she only makes it as far as the sliding screen that covered the video game collection, her hand finding little purchase against the surface as her legs lose all strength and she slumps to the ground.

Bracing her hands against the floor, she cannot even push herself up from her knees and lets out a sharp whine of frustration, the sharp inhale shortly after a sure sign that she was about to lose it completely

Without even checking that no one was around, a sob escapes her throat, followed by another, until she is crying her eyes out.

She prays that there is no one around to hear her, for her to left alone with her grief.

Unfortunately, she is discovered by someone who approaches her and says her name.

She does not even acknowledge them, her entire body convulsing and her tears falling down to speckle her jeans.

"Oh my God... are you alright?  What's happened to you?"

She turns her head, lifting her arm and her palm spread, "Don't... don't look at me... please... please..."

Ryan kneels down beside the distraught girl, not touching her or moving too close, in case she hit out at him or didn't want to be touched.

"Hey, come on... let me help you.  Please."

The act of kindness only makes her cry harder, bending double as the pain intensifies, coupled with the shock of the news she had just received.

Ryan carefully inches closer, keeping his voice soft, "Let me get you water, or... anything that will help..."

In between heaving breaths and deep sobs, there is a string of words that he could just make out.

"What did you say?"

She manages to draw enough breath to stammer, "Danny... I want... I want Danny... please... please... I want my Danny..."

The heartbreaking tone of her voice makes Ryan's own heart clench and he nods immediately.

“I’ll get him.  Hold on there, sweets...”

Not wanting to leave her alone or risk drawing attention by running across the office at full speed, Ryan takes out his phone and sends a quick message to Dan, more or less politely requesting that he come out of the Grump room right then and there since his love needed him.

All the while, he watches his co-worker in a forlorn manner, rubbing his own eyes that are now stinging with tears.

About three minutes later, the door to the Grump room is opened quickly and Dan comes striding out, eyes wide with panic, looking all around for them.

Ryan calls out, "Dude... over here."

In an instant, Dan has turned the corner, the sight of his friend and his partner in such distress such a shock to him that he almost staggers back.

But in a moment, he is beside her and has dropped to his knees in front of her, reaching out to bracket her shoulders, saying her name softly.

She lifts her head, face blotchy and eyes red, hair stuck to her cheeks with tears.

He is like a living, breathing angel...

"Danny..."

That whimper of his name is the only sound she makes before she collapses forward into his arms that catch her just in time and she clings to him with all her strength, terrified that if she even loosened her grip for a moment, she would lose him too.

The thought of that alone makes her cry harder, for she had lost enough today, and all Dan can do is rock her gently, one hand behind her head, shutting his eyes tight.

She had never cried like this in front of him before.  He had seen her tear up at sad movies or even when she was feeling tired or frustrated.  

But this sound coming out of her was one of pure, unfiltered pain and it was breaking his heart.

"Baby, I'm here, I'm here... ssshhhh... ssshhhh... oh, my girl... my beautiful girl..."

Ryan gets to his feet, choosing to give them privacy, saying quietly, "I'll be editing if you need anything, Dan."

Dan nods, his cheek resting in her hair, murmuring, "Thanks, Ryan.  You're a solid dude."

As the younger man walks away, sniffling quietly, Dan continues to hold her tight, not even having the heart to ask what had happened, for fear of making her more distressed.

She could not even give voice to her grief, her utter pain, except through muffled sobs as she buries her face in his shirt, wanting to shut out the entire world, wanting to hide in his arms forever.

Maybe if she stayed here with him, if she didn't have to face it, then it wouldn't be true.

It is only when she feels herself calm down just a touch that he helps her to her feet and she leans against him as they go outside to her car, away from any co-workers who would meet them and ask questions that she was not prepared to answer.

Sitting in the back seat together, she pours out her heart to him about the sudden, heartbreaking loss that had literally brought her to her knees.

All Dan can do is allow his own tears to fall, but would not allow his face not crumple, wanting to be strong for her in this moment.

"I'm so, so sorry, my darling..."

He has cupped her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks that have not dried once.

"Tell me what to do.  Please?"

Her eyes large and tremulous, all she can do is remember to breathe and asks, "Please tell me I'm yours."

Her voice is so plaintive and hesitant, it almost shakes his very core, but he gathers himself to say without hesitation, "You are mine.  You are my girl.  I love you..."

She holds his wrists, feeling that strong pulse thump against her fingertips, "And you're my person.  I couldn't have faced this without you..."

He leans their foreheads together, and their breathing falls into a gentle rhythm in time with each other.

"Will you come with me?"

He opens his eyes, "Where, baby?"

A shaky sigh, "Home.  I wouldn't ask you to travel, but I can't think of making that journey alone..."

"I'll come with you."

His reply surprises her as she tips her head back slightly to regard him with a frown, "But what about the show, and Brian, and NSP?"

"It can all wait.  Arin can do solo episodes and Brian can be the smug, self professed genius that he is without me."

His injection of humour brings a small smile to her face, which is a beautiful sight despite the deep sadness in her eyes.

"Thank you..."

“You’re more than welcome, baby...”

Feeling more in love with him than ever before, she lightly strokes his cheek, wiping away his own tears, tentatively leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth.

Dan turns his head and kisses her lips gently, the salty taste of her tears mingling with the taste of her and his heart clenches.

They share more gentle, needy kisses and she whispers against his mouth, “I love you... so much...”

As they draw back for air, he strokes her hair and gazes at her quietly.

“How about we head home, and I run you a nice hot bath?”

She nods, the idea sounding quite heavenly, before reality comes knocking once more, “I need to make a call first when we get home.  I need to talk to my family...”

Dan does not miss a beat, giving her a soft, lingering kiss, “I’ll be right there with you, holding your hand, and ready to dry your tears.”

Her forehead creases and she almost begins to sob again, but she does not feel ashamed for expressing this pain anymore.

After a long embrace and several more gentle kisses, Dan drives them home, his hand holding hers all the while and she felt that bit stronger, despite what was facing her now.

True to his word, he is by her side all that day, all that night, and in the difficult days that were to come.

Even though the grief and sadness blew through her like the coldest breeze, he would be steadfast and devoted, keeping her warm, keeping her anchored, always reminding her that she could still smile and could still love with all her heart, even while her tears soaked into the earth.

[mavda]

Melted

Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch. 12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25 | Ch.26 | Ch.27 | Ch.28 | Ch.29 | Ch.30 | Ch.31 | Ch.32 | Ch.33 | Ch.34 | Ch.35 | Ch.36 | Ch.37 | Ch.38 | Ch.39 | Ch.40 | Ch.41 |  Ch.42 | Ch.43 | Ch.44 | Ch.45 |

Ch.46: And wait for what?

The couple had been wide-eyed, grateful and full of stares Zelda tried to fight with smiles.

If there were no rumors when they went back Zelda would announce her plans of marrying Link in the Public Plaza.

Link helped them fix their carriage and offered them to spend the night where he and Zelda had set camp.

Zelda could hear the alarms setting off inside her head, but the couple was so relieved to hear Link say that, and Link was so warm an existence that Zelda smiled and remained silent.

There was something about Link's nochalance that made Zelda want to hug him and stare at him in bafflement. When everything was settled and Zelda sat on her cot to prepare to sleep she heard Link offer the couple his cot.

The couple were getting teary-eyed and Zelda could not fault them for that, but really, there had to be a limit for his kindness.

Link sat in front of the fire, nearer to Zelda than the travellers.

"Why don't you come closer?"

Link turned his head and rested his cheek on his knee, "Because they might talk later."

Ah, so he wasn't that oblivious.

"I think there's going to be talk anyway."

"We want to keep it to a minimun, though."

"Are you going to be all right sleeping there?"

Link smiled, "Are you inviting me over to your cot?"

And Zelda snorted, "Maybe."

Link held his gaze over her face and Zelda could feel her cheeks getting hotter.

"We haven't even kissed yet," Link whispered.

Zelda let out a sigh, "Yeah," Link looked straight ahead, "we ought to."

Link hid his snort in his leg and Zelda laughed before turning and looking to the dark space in front of her.

She half wished there were rumours when they arrived.

The carriage moved slower than Epona so Link and Zelda lost sight of the couple soon after.

"I might have to speed up the process of courting you so when rumors reach the Castle people don't riot."

Zelda laughed and the air whipped her hair around. Rumors were harsh, and rumors were nothing to be desired but now she was riding along and what did it matter?

"Not worried?"

Zelda raised her arm and patted Link's head in a weird angle, "Of course I am, I always am, but you are too nice and I can't hate that part about you."

Link catched Zelda's hand before she returned it to her lap and held it, "All right," Link said, he squeezed her hand, "All right."

Zelda did not hide herself with a cape and the few people that saw them at the stable didn't show surprise. William was waiting for them in front of the barn entrance.

"William," Zelda curtsied, "I will go take a bath and prepare myself for the day. I believe I have work to do."

William smiled and nodded once, all politeness and good manners. Zelda waved to whoever called her name and left, and Link was left alone with William standing still.

"It's the second time you've brought her back to us," William commented to the air, "it's the first time you've taken her from the Castle," Link stood next to Epona's side waiting for William to chastize him, but William bowed his head, "Thank you."

William stood there a couple more of seconds and turned.

"I will present myself to court Her Highness today."

William stopped walking but didn't turn.

Link was about to start explaining himself. I know how you feel, I'm not saying this to start a fight, what are you feeling right now? should I have not-?

"Good," huffed William and bowed with his back turned.

Link had left his door open because he was going to leave immediatly, he had left it open just a bit, he had left it open because he was just cleaning himself up before going to ask for a meeting with the Council-

"Wow," Robert stepped back and blinked hard, "you do realize there are women who would pay to see you like this?"

Link breathed Robert's name, "Close the door for Hylia's sake, you almost scared me to death."

Robert did as told but turned and looked affected, "I was not the one who left your door open, man."

Link waved it off and put on his inner shirt.

"Where are you going all fancy like that?"

"Gonna ask for a council meeting."

Robert raised his eyebrow, ready to strike, "To ask for Her Highness' hand in marriage?"

It was a joke.

A joke.

"Yeah."

Robert laughed it off, but Link was serious and Robert squirmed in his spot, "Wait, for real?"

Link looked up in confusion, "Why would I lie about that?"

Robert looked puzzled, "What?"

Link kept on dressing himself.

"Wait, wait, wait- I mean, sure, it showed that you were in love, I guess, but isn't this rushed?"

"Rushed how?"

"In the way that- I don't know, you've only known her for like half a year?"

Link stood to his full height - still a good 30 cm below Robert - "Till when am I supposed to wait, then?"

Robert frowned. Here it was, Link the straightforward, "Till you're sure?"

"I am sure."

"Well, till you see more of the world, I don't know, you're still pretty young."

Link smirked but bit down the remark that he had already been through the whole of Hyrule thrice times over, oh, and also the Twilight Realm, "And wait for what? For Zelda to find someone who is capable of owning up to her responsibilities? For me to find someone better than her? For us to what? I just don't get what I'm supposed to wait for."

Robert put up his hands in defense. Link was not agitated, nor angry, nor anything. He was being honest and terryfingly calm, "Dude, you really own up to what you believe, don't you?"

Link straightened his tunic with his hands, "I guess I do."

Link moved to the door and Robert couldn't close his mouth, "This is the manliest or dumbest I've ever seen you."

Link opened the door and motioned for Robert to go out, "Come on, maybe you'll get to fight for my honor."

Robert was still unsure but then Link turned and winked at him. Robert ran to catch up, chuckling and feeling oddly assured.

"I'm sure this is what ladies found charming about you."

[sweet-christabel]

A Trusted Friend In Science

FF.net: (x) AO3: (x)

A/N: Sorry, that break dragged on longer than I intended. I’ve been working pretty solidly on original stuff, so that took priority for a while. Then one of my fiancé’s friends unexpectedly passed away, so we’ve been dealing with that, which has been pretty much as you’d expect.  J.P., you never played Portal, and frankly this would be an odd choice of chapter to dedicate to you, but I’m here saluting you on the internet regardless. Take care, mate.

Chapter Thirty-Six - 2035. Married To Science.

The car cut a clear path through the wheat field, a straight line leading out from the ruins of main reception. The field was much greener than it had been when Chell had seen it last, the wheat looking withered and badly in need of care. Although the outskirts of the field had looked trimmed and tidy from where the citizens of Ishpeming had harvested their crops, the rest was a sea of neglect.

Chell and Doug stood balanced on the backseats of Gordon’s modified Jeep, eyes peeled for the tiny shed that would let them into Aperture’s hidden world. Chell blinked, her eyes watering from the wind. The air had a cold bite to it that thankfully hadn’t been there when she’d emerged before, barefoot and injured. As she cleared her vision, a shape appeared on the horizon.

“There,” she called, pointing.

Gordon twisted to glance up at her, amending his steering to head in the direction she was indicating.

Doug turned his head to look, having been scouting more to the left. His face registered his anticipation and wariness in equal measure. She knew exactly how he felt.

With the direction set, Gordon picked up speed, and Chell tightened her grip on the car’s chassis. The wind blew her loose strands of hair out of her face and sent her faded flannel shirt flapping, making her wish she’d buttoned it up. The long-sleeved t-shirt she wore underneath wasn’t keeping the chill out.  

Her charred companion cube still sat outside the hut, nestled in a square dent in the wheat where she’d moved it to stand on. Gordon stopped the car not far from it, and Chell jumped down, walking over to look at it. She wasn’t really sure why, but it made her feel a brief flutter of guilt that it had been left to vanish into the field, and she considered taking it back inside. Then common sense took over, and she stepped away.

She and Doug stood side by side for a long moment, simply staring at the battered corrugated surface of the shed and the perfectly normal-looking warning signs on the door. Behind them, Kleiner started to speak, but was quickly shushed by Gordon, who seemed to understand something of what they were feeling. Chell wondered if he would have felt the same returning to Black Mesa.

With a soft sigh, she stepped forward, halting an arm’s reach from the door. She glanced back at Doug, the question plain to see on her face. She wouldn’t make any move unless they were both sure. His jaw tensed for a moment, but then he decisively nodded. Chell lifted her hand and knocked.

The door sprung open almost immediately, making her step back. An elevator rose into view in the glass tube ahead, its curved door sliding open invitingly.

Chell hesitated, her heart pounding. Doug stepped up to her side, looking down at her with an openly apprehensive expression. There was determination in it too, and she knew he was going ahead with or without her. Well, there was no way she’d let it be without her.

She slipped her hand in his, gripping it tight. He squeezed back. Together, they stepped through the door.

It closed with a solid clang once Gordon and Kleiner had followed, and Chell tried not to reflect on how ominous it sounded. She let them enter the elevator first, so that she and Doug were facing the door. She closed her eyes briefly as it began to descend, then let them drift open, calm washing over her as she slipped into her usual Aperture state of mind.

She barely registered Kleiner’s exclamations of surprise and awe as the journey gave them glimpses of the dark expanse between test chambers. She gazed at the all-too-familiar view of distant green-tinted lights and hanging cables, the insane but impressive sight of what the scientists had built and GLaDOS had expanded. It was another world entirely, one far removed from fields and dirt and storms, from people and politics. With a pang of dismay, she realised that what she’d feared was proving true, one of the many reasons she hadn’t wanted to return.

I feel safe here.

Much of her most recent time at Aperture had, of course, been the furthest thing from safe, but the familiarity of its sterile smell and cold, subterranean air was almost reassuring. In the facility, she fitted in. She didn’t have to worry about finding a place in the world, or feel inadequate at what her experiences had done to her body, (which was, ironically, Aperture’s fault anyway). She’d already made a place for herself, first as an assistant, then as a test subject. Despite everything she’d been through, despite how hard she’d fought to escape, there was a traitorous feeling of comfort in coming back.

Shaken, she glanced up at Doug. He tilted his head to look at her, his blue eyes full of alarm, grim acceptance right behind it. Chell let out a breath, relief flooding her senses as she saw the same struggle in him. He understood. He felt the same way. She didn’t need her head examining. Or at least, if she did, he did too.

The elevator sank down into illumination that was almost dazzling after the dim light of the lift shaft. GLaDOS’s chamber looked exactly the same. Its curved wall of panels was dark, but the room was lit brightly. GLaDOS herself hadn’t changed either. Her amber optic appraised them calmly as the elevator descended.

“Welcome back,” she said, her tone carefully free of anything that might have been called sarcasm or sincerity.

Chell had forgotten how intimidating she could be in person, and she wished she could have seen Gordon and Kleiner’s reactions. The elevator doors slid open, and she and Doug stepped out. It was surprisingly strange to stand on the floor of her chamber and not be wearing long-fall boots.

“The mute lunatic,” the A.I. went on, “and the rat man.”

“Hello, GLaDOS,” Doug said levelly, his voice quiet.

“I see you left the moron behind. Thanks for that.”

Chell had never dignified her with a single answer before, and the words stuck in her throat, going against every instinct she’d honed as a test subject. She pushed through, rattling out small talk as if GLaDOS was a stranger at a party, and conversation was mandatory.

“It’s nice to have some peace and quiet,” she made herself say. Then she glanced at Kleiner. “Well, sort of.”

GLaDOS’s chassis moved back a touch at the sound of her voice. The yellow gaze scrutinised her for a long moment, and Chell wondered what she was thinking. If past experiences were anything to go by, there was little chance of GLaDOS passing up the opportunity to make a snide comment.

“Well,” the A.I. said at last, “I guess I’ll have to think up a new name for you.”

“You could use my actual name,” Chell replied nonchalantly. “I know you have it on my file.”

GLaDOS ignored her, tilting her head to look at Gordon and Kleiner. “And you must be the…Black Mesa scientists.”

Her hesitation before speaking the name was small but noticeable. Aperture’s rivalry was so deeply ingrained that Chell doubted she could help herself.

“Yes,” Gordon answered with a brief throat-clearing cough. “Gordon Freeman and Isaac Kleiner. Pleased to meet you.”

Kleiner seemed to have been thrown into a blissful, (and no doubt temporary), bout of silence, his face a picture of wonder and concentration as he studied GLaDOS.

“Hmm,” said GLaDOS.

Gordon began a diplomatic and carefully thought out speech about how Black Mesa’s Artificial Intelligence department had fallen woefully short compared to Aperture’s, but Kleiner interrupted him with a torrent of enthusiastic babble and half-formed questions that appeared to take even GLaDOS aback.

Chell felt a surprising pang of sympathy for her. She had likely never experienced attention of that sort. It could take some getting used to.

“All right, stop,” the A.I. ordered after a moment.

Kleiner obediently did.

“While it comes as no surprise that Black Mesa never produced technology like this, I actually do have things to do with my time. So if you could limit your…fawning…to fewer syllables, I think we’d all be grateful.”

Rather than being discouraged by GLaDOS’s habitual spiky remarks, Kleiner let out a delighted laugh.

“Certainly, certainly. My apologies. It’s just…well, I would have given my right arm to work on a project like you!”

“That could be arranged.”

Kleiner laughed again. “Wonderful!”

GLaDOS’s optic blinked, then turned to the others.

Gordon gave a wry smile. “Yes, he’s always like that. You get used to it.”

“Do I have to?” GLaDOS asked, hopefully rhetorically.

Doug took the opportunity to take half a step forward. “GLaDOS, perhaps we could talk about why we came here?”

“By all means,” she said, rotating lazily to face him. “Tell me why you went to all the trouble of escaping only to come back here after a mere three months, despite the fact that I very specifically told one of you not to.”

Chell shrugged off the comment. “Give me a break. We destroyed the Borealis for you.”

GLaDOS acknowledged that with a bob of her head. “Yes. So talk.”

“I, uh, have a favour to ask,” Doug began, stumbling only slightly over the words. “In exchange for a favour.”

“A favour for a favour?” GLaDOS repeated, tilting her head thoughtfully. “There’s nothing I want from you, Rat Man.”

“Actually, I think there is,” Doug retorted, his voice gaining confidence. “The testing euphoria. I know you’ve found a way to live with it, but it’s still there, isn’t it? It still drives you crazy. And the rewards at the end of a test aren’t worth the withdrawal any more, are they?”

GLaDOS reared back a little as he went on, her optic wide.

Chell stepped up to Doug’s side, adding her own voice to the argument. “You told me it gets unbearable. Let Doug delete it from your programming. Do science on your own terms, not because you’re written that way.”

GLaDOS seemed to have been rendered uncharacteristically silent, which Chell thought was a good sign. She was taking the offer seriously, at least.

“What is testing euphoria?” Kleiner asked in a loud whisper, only to once again be hushed by Gordon.

“And in return?” the A.I. asked finally.

“You gave me a huge supply of my meds,” Doug said earnestly, “and I’m grateful for that, I am, but…after those five years are up, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m here to ask…please, I need the formula, so I can try and make it myself. You know as well as I do, Aperture meds aren’t like the ones big pharma produces. And to be honest, pharmaceuticals aren’t what they were before the war. If you have the formula on the database…please may I have a copy?”

The following silence was strained. Chell felt Doug’s tension, how rigidly he was holding his composure. He was pinning all his hopes on one gamble, and she wasn’t sure what he would do if it came to nothing.

“No,” said GLaDOS succinctly.

Doug let out a shaky breath, and Chell gripped his arm in support, shooting her a quick glare.

“There’s something else you can have,” GLaDOS went on.

In unison, Doug and Chell glanced up at her in confusion.

“I took up a hobby after you left,” she told them casually. “Monitoring the cooperative testing initiative wasn’t enough to keep me occupied, so I started working on something else on the side. Testing with robots isn’t the same, you know. I mean, look at them.”

She summoned a monitor from the ceiling, showing a half-solved test chamber. The two bipedal robots that Chell had briefly seen before her quick exit were chattering to each other, communicating where portals needed to be placed, then executing the tasks without hesitation. They were impressively efficient.

“So predictable,” GLaDOS lamented with a sigh, “even after I had them reprogrammed to imitate human behaviour.”

Kleiner and Gordon were watching with obvious interest, so she left the monitor where it was.

“You mean,” Chell ventured, seeking clarification, “they’re…too good at solving tests?”

“I mean it isn’t science if the results play out exactly as you predicted every time. Where’s the fun in that? But I’ll get on to that in a moment.” She turned her optic to Doug. “Rat Man…if you help me get rid of the last voice in my head…I’ll do the same in return.”

Doug narrowed his eyes at her, his uncertainty evident, but he automatically reached for the container she lowered on a claw.

“Take one of these every morning and evening for six months, and report to me for electrotherapy once a week.”

“Electrotherapy?” Chell parroted in alarm.

Doug looked up from reading the label, his eyes wide. “Is this…have you…found a cure for schizophrenia?”

“It’s easy to figure out, assuming you have a complete understanding of the human brain and its many complexities. But every brain is different. This cure is just tailored to yours. It would have to be made on a case by case basis.”

“How?” Doug stammered. “It’s not possible.”

“Just because humans never solved the problem doesn’t mean it’s unsolvable. As a scientist, you should know that,” GLaDOS chided imperiously.

“How?” he repeated. “Why?”

“I was bored.”

“Did you make any other cures?” Gordon asked her. His tone was that of polite interest, but Chell knew he was thinking of humanity’s depleted medical supplies.

“Some,” GLaDOS answered. “Just a few simple ones. The common cold, malaria, type 1 diabetes, cancer. Humans are so…delicate.”

Gordon’s eyes widened as her list went on, but he said nothing else.

“You wouldn’t do this out of mere boredom,” Chell said with certainty. “What else is going on?”

“You told Wheatley you wanted to speak to us,” Doug reminded her.

GLaDOS imitated a sigh. “Yes. I did say that.”

They waited with forced patience while the A.I. considered her next words.

“You ignored what I asked you to do, Rat Man,” she spoke up.

Doug looked up at her sharply, but his voice was calm. “I did what I thought was best.”

“Thank you.”

Chell raised her eyebrows in surprise, glancing at Doug. He looked equally stunned, but tried to cover it with a nod.

“You were right, deleting Caroline would have been…a mistake. But with her memories repressed, I can think clearly. What you did took away her emotional response. I can reflect on what happened without becoming…overwhelmed.”

Her words were hesitant, reminding Chell of Caroline herself. Doug’s theory that GLaDOS had found balance with the human part of herself seemed to ring true.

“In your absence,” GLaDOS continued, “I was forced to come to a somewhat annoying conclusion.”

“Oh?” Chell said curiously.

“Aperture Science…needs humans.” She spat out the words as if they tasted foul.

Chell exchanged a glance with Doug, seeing the concern behind his placid expression. At the back of her mind, she couldn’t recall if their agreement with GLaDOS had included the guarantee of their leaving the facility.

“Caroline had big dreams for this place,” GLaDOS said, sounding surprisingly wistful. “When she got the job as Mr. Johnson’s assistant, she thought she’d be in the perfect position to make them happen. Instead, his crazy ideas got her killed. But,” she added grudgingly, “since I’m here, now, I guess I can’t fault his decision.”

“What dreams?” Doug asked gently.

“She was only nineteen when she first came here, did you know that?” At their head-shakes, she carried on with her narration. “She was one of many secretaries, tasked with typing up documents. It was beneath her, but she used it as a stepping stool. After three years, Mr. Johnson’s assistant quit. Caroline had a friend who put her forward for the job. Mr. Johnson didn’t take her interview seriously because she was young and a woman, but then she told him the truth about her opinion of Aperture’s products. She thought they weren’t good enough, she thought a company with so many resources should be dreaming bigger than shower curtains. She thought they could change the world, make it better somehow, so she told him her ideas. He hired her on the spot. Do you know what those ideas were?” She paused for more head-shakes. “She thought the elevator ride into the salt mine was too long, reducing productivity. It’s common knowledge that the quickest route from point A to point B is a straight line. She wanted to find a way to travel from point A to point B by making them the same point.”

“Portals,” Doug spoke aloud. “They were Caroline’s idea?”

“They were,” GLaDOS confirmed. “They took a few years to perfect, but they got there. Although Mr. Johnson never authorised them for staff use. He had…other ideas.”

“So Caroline steered Cave Johnson onto the path that led to…well, all of this,” Chell said, gesturing to their surroundings and including GLaDOS in it.

“Ironically, yes. She thought she was doing what was best to turn the company into what she imagined it could be. But Mr. Johnson was a force of nature that could not be contained. She found that out soon enough.”

“Did Cave Johnson really die of lunar poisoning?” Chell asked bluntly.

“No,” GLaDOS replied at once. “It was poisoning that killed him, but the moon rocks were harmless.”

“Why did she do it?” Doug said, his words holding an appropriate amount of sensitivity.

“He took something irreplaceable from her.”

Her rapt audience remained quiet, waiting for her to continue. Even Kleiner was silent, his eyes wide as he listened.

“Caroline’s job was crazy and stressful, and she often saw things she wished she hadn’t,” GLaDOS told them. “But at the end of the day, she went home to her husband, a man who never failed to make her smile and cheer her up. When she became his assistant, Mr. Johnson told her she was expected to be completely dedicated, to have no other distractions in her life.”

“Married to science,” Chell said, thinking aloud, remembering the pre-recorded messages she’d heard down in the remains of old Aperture.

‘Sorry fellas, she’s married. To Science!’

“Precisely. Caroline never revealed that she had a husband. Giving him up would have been the logical thing to do, but she couldn’t.”

“She loved him?” Doug said softly.

“I suppose you could call it that. Science was always the greatest love in her life,” GLaDOS told them, the revelation coming as no surprise. “It drove her to accomplish great things, but the price was that she had to leave her morals behind. The knowledge of what she did – what she knew she could do – was why she needed Freddie. He made her feel human again, reminded her that she cared. He kept her grounded, kept her from becoming too much like Mr. Johnson. She needed a part of her life that was far removed from this place.”

Chell felt a flicker of sympathy. It was a familiar story. She’d seen her father take the same path, only she hadn’t been enough to keep him from giving everything to Aperture.

“Mr. Johnson was…compelling,” GLaDOS went on. “It was difficult to be around him and not get drawn into his world. His visions of the future were unlike anything Caroline had ever imagined. She couldn’t not be a part of creating it. And he needed her.”

That much had been made abundantly clear by the recordings down in old Aperture. Chell wondered about that bright, enthusiastic Caroline she’d heard, whether her passion had been genuine or forced for the sake of Cave and his messages.

“For years, it worked pretty well,” said GLaDOS. “She was capable enough that Mr. Johnson never suspected, or even took an interest in her life outside the facility. But he found out eventually. It was around the time that he was starting to look into artificial intelligence. The concept of me was on the horizon, but he had no way of realising it yet. He started small, with prototypes of the technology that would eventually create the moron.” Her voice took on a slight sneer at the word. “One day Caroline went into work to find Mr. Johnson very excited about a brand new prototype A.I. that he’d had the lab boys create. In artificial intelligence terms, it wasn’t much. Its sentience was low at best, and it mostly did what it was programmed to, but he’d succeeded in capturing a sense of the personality of its base. The mind-mapping process had killed the test subject, but it was a step in the right direction as far as Mr. Johnson was concerned.”

Chell gazed up at her in horror, knowing exactly where the story was going. GLaDOS noticed her expression and bobbed her head.

“Yes,” she acknowledged passively. “He’d taken Caroline’s husband.”                

Chell covered her mouth with her hand, taking the knowledge in. “I knew he was probably insane, but…I had no idea it extended to something so…malicious.”

“In his mind, he’d simply solved a small problem. Freddie was in the way of Caroline’s work. He needed her work, so…”

“He had to go,” Doug finished, looking appalled.

“Yes. And grief makes people do extreme things. Although it was not purely for revenge that Caroline did what she did,” GLaDOS said defensively, “she was also worried that the same thing might happen to someone else. Of course, it backfired on her in the end.”

“I do not approve of the lady’s actions,” Kleiner spoke up, “but one can certainly understand them.”

GLaDOS nodded to him in response.

“Did Cave suspect her?” Doug asked. “Is that why he put her forward for this project?”

“No, he never suspected a thing. His mind didn’t work in the same way as other people. His only thought was to protect his legacy, and he knew Caroline was the one to do it if he didn’t survive long enough to do it himself.”

“Why didn’t she cancel the project after he died?” Gordon asked, arms folded as he listened to the story.

“She tried,” GLaDOS explained, “but Mr. Johnson had had paperwork drawn up and had forged her signature on the consent form. It was water-tight and very complicated. She could have found a way out of it, but not without upsetting a lot of investors, which would have shut the company down for sure. She chose to keep it running, and in the end…she accepted her fate. The project took so long to get off the ground, she had plenty of time. Those final years were her chance to set Aperture on the road she’d always wanted to travel, but she was distracted by the progress in artificial intelligence. Eventually, she would have found a way to get Freddie back, I’m sure. If she’d had the time. As it is, she still has some part of him.”

Chell glanced at her, puzzled. The speaker system emitted a soft beep.

“All reactor core functions are normal,” the announcer declared cheerfully. “Have a good day!”

Chell’s eyes widened in shock. Beside her, Doug seemed equally stunned.

“Is there any way to…save him?” he asked, stumbling a little over the terminology.

“No,” GLaDOS replied, her impassive tones hiding whatever opinion she might hold on the subject. “There isn’t enough information in the databanks, and he isn’t sentient.” She flicked her optic up in the direction of the speaker. “Perhaps I could rebuild a fully artificial version in time, but…I’m not sure who that would really benefit. Caroline’s guilt might be eased, but that’s all.”

“I think it could be done,” Kleiner said excitedly, raising a hand. “With patience and time, and the right foundation. You said yourself, nothing is unsolvable.”

GLaDOS studied him in silence. Chell thought she was pondering the scientist’s words, but it was difficult to tell.

“Perhaps,” she said at last. “But this leads me to my point. Testing with robots isn’t making any progress. Aperture needs humans.”

Chell opened her mouth to protest, but GLaDOS went on without a pause.

“I don’t just mean as test subjects. I mean staff.”

Objection dying in her throat, Chell halted, dumbfounded.

“But,” Doug started, jaw clenched, “you had staff. You killed them all.”

“It was a mistake,” said GLaDOS. “I was young, I was angry, I wanted revenge. I didn’t know myself at all, but now I do. You were right when you said I didn’t need the testing euphoria. Science is enough. I want this facility to function again, the way Caroline wanted it to. Humanity is depleted after…whatever that was up there. If I want people to work here, I need to make sure they’re in top condition. That’s why I started creating the cures.” She indicated the bottle that was still clutched in Doug’s hand. “That will work. You’ll be free of your voices and hallucinations. Forever. Then perhaps…you’ll consider working here again.”

Chell looked at Doug, seeing his astonished expression, and feeling as if she wore a similar one. It was so much to take in, she wasn’t sure where to start.

“And you…Chell.”

At the sound of her name, she turned to meet the A.I.’s amber gaze.

“The two of you worked so hard to bring this place down. Help me rebuild it the way it should be.”

She wasn’t sure if it was GLaDOS or Caroline who was asking. She suspected there was no longer a difference between the two.

“We need to think,” Doug told her, and Chell nodded her agreement.

“Let us go back to our friends and discuss it,” she said, “and we’ll return tomorrow with an answer.”

GLaDOS reluctantly acquiesced.

“Um…excuse me,” Kleiner said with a polite cough. “I would like to stay and see some of the facility, if I may.”

“Isaac,” Gordon began with a heavy sigh.

“I don’t know if you included me in your offer,” the older man went on regardless, “but I would very much like to work here! Perhaps a merging of Aperture and Black Mesa is just what humanity needs.”

“Of course,” Gordon mumbled under his breath.

GLaDOS peered down at Kleiner in apparent surprise.

“The Borealis was a remarkable piece of technology,” he added with eagerness, “and I understand that it actually fell short of Aperture’s usual standards, which amazes me.”

“You may stay and see the facility,” GLaDOS said firmly, “and I’ll think about the rest.”

“Excellent!” Turning to the others, he beamed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Gordon waved a dismissive hand. “Fine. See you tomorrow.”

Chell glanced uncertainly from Kleiner to GLaDOS, but she wasn’t overly concerned. Not as she might have been an hour or so before. She followed Gordon and Doug into the elevator, sending the A.I. a courteous nod before they were whisked upwards.

“Well,” said Doug after a moment’s silence.

“Well,” Chell repeated.

“We have a lot to think about,” Doug added in a rather spectacular understatement.

She nodded gravely. “We do.”

Gordon let them have their silence on the journey back to Ishpeming. When they arrived, he left them alone while he went to update Alyx. They were still sitting in the back of the car when evening fell.

They traded opinions and arguments, throwing ideas back and forth like a ball in a tennis match. Chell’s mind was a blur of weighed-up doubts, histories and possibilities, her own hopes and fears underlining the whole thing. Everything she needed to take into account fought for attention in her thoughts, giving her a persistent, thrumming headache. But soon an answer began to take shape, stepping forward out of the muddle. The only thing was, she wasn’t sure if Doug would have reached the same conclusion. She was almost afraid to ask, but backing down from things wasn’t in her nature.

With a deep breath, she turned to Doug and prepared to speak.

A/N: I just want to add as a footnote here that Doug receiving a cure for his condition does not – repeat, does not – make him any more ‘normal’ or any more of a person than he was before. His schizophrenia does not define him, but it is an important part of his life, and I don’t follow this storyline lightly, because representation is so, so important. I wanted to play with the idea of GLaDOS deciding not to reanimate the dead as a hobby, but rather try and ‘fix’ the problems humanity has to deal with. I’ve never attempted to write a reconciliation between GLaDOS and humanity before, and this seemed like a good olive branch for them to start with. With that in mind, it seemed kind of odd to me that she wouldn’t think of Doug as a good subject, particularly since they have some empathy for each other and the voices in their heads. That is the only reason why I went with this idea. Doug Rattmann is a good and pure and whole person regardless of his condition.

[lucadeeznutz]

YOOOOO!!!!

epic band au

bonus \/