#pointing at him. cryptid.

[meistoshi]

someone well-meaningly asks an ice breaker about "how long would it take for people in your life to realize you've gone missing", & satoshi has to go thru the list of ppl in his life he keeps any amount of contact with before finally landing on "oh uhhhhh probably a year. depends on how long it's been since the last alola league; everyone knows i wouldn't miss those :)"

[garpen]

I love Gothamites thinking that the batfamily are Cryptids when they're not.

I also love the idea that to begin with, Gothamites know Robin has been a bunch of different human kids that the: Definitely a Cryptid Batman™ (bc let's be honest that thing is not human) has taken under his wing.

I think it makes the Robins scarier to them. Like "There's something fucked up enough about this kid that the Demon Bat took them in." And they're all pretty sure that every time there's a switch in Robin's it's bc the Cryptid Demon Batman thing probably killed them off or something.

They always try and warn off whatever new Robin he's taken in, but whenever they do the New Robin always laughs them off or attempts to assure them that they're fine and not worry.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[draconicpotato]

[cryptidorchid]

I’ve seen a lot of people call out Scott’s lack of care for Jimmy’s life in Third Life. (Usually, this is part of their explanation for why they think flower husbands is toxic) And I think these points are interesting but kind of miss that the lack of care is reciprocated by Jimmy.

In Scott’s case, the moments I see pointed out the most are the two times Scott treated Jimmy dying like it was a spectator sport. Like when Jimmy got attacked by the enderman or Jimmy played the Tango’s lava minigame and Scott was like “I’m just here to see if Jimmy dies” and when he told Grian that “once our husbands die, we can be free.” 

I will play devil’s advocate for a moment here and say that in all of these moments, regardless of what Scott was saying about it, he took action to try to keep Jimmy alive. In the first two instances mentioned, he gave Jimmy advice to help him survive and in the last one with Grian, he suggested Jimmy should stay in the bunker so he could be safer. But I will admit that Scott acts very apathetic about Jimmy dying.

In Jimmy’s case, he’s less verbally apathetic but his actions seem strange for someone who should want Scott to stay alive. Like that time where Grian and Scar let their enderman free to attack Scott and Jimmy scolded Scott for killing the enderman because it upset Grian and Scar. And even when Scott was being attacked, Jimmy’s response was just yelling that he wasn’t the one who looked at the enderman and then watching as Scott gets attacked. And there was that time when they found the enchanting table outside of Renchanting and Jimmy (correctly) guessed that it might be a trap so he told Scott to mine it.  For the second one, Jimmy says it’s because he’s just died so he doesn’t want to die again which would be fair, except neither of them have any motivation to mine the enchanting table in the first place, so the reasonable response would be “it might be a trap so neither of us should mine it”

Which made it really weird when the Dogwarts confrontation happened and suddenly, they’re all protective over each other. Suddenly, they’re like “Jimmy, don’t go near the scary red name!” and “Scott, what if they sacrifice you on their altar?” 

What? Where did this come from? At least in Scott’s case, I can guess it was because Jimmy’s now a red name so if Jimmy dies, it’s permanent. I don’t know what was up with Jimmy in that moment.

And, as far as them continuing to be protective after that? On Scott’s end, he was pretty consistent and explicit about wanting to keep Jimmy safe after that (except for him being weirdly happy about the idea of being a widow, don’t know what was up with that). 

On Jimmy’s end, after this, as far as I can tell, he went back to using Scott’s green life as an excuse to ask Scott to take risks. He finds a cake unexpectedly in his house, thinks it might be a trap, and asks Scott to eat it and tell him if anything bad happens. When they're in a fight with Dogwarts, Jimmy tells Scott that he should "get in there" because he’s a green name. Honestly, I don’t think these are that bad because Jimmy was on red and Scott was on green, but it is a big difference from him burning the Dogwarts banner over just the possibility that they might try to kill Scott (and it implies that Jimmy sees Scott's life as disposable which while pragmatic, is not very kind). Anyway, my main point is that I can’t remember Jimmy ever really being worried about Scott’s life outside of the one moment with Dogwarts.

In conclusion, neither of them seemed to be super concerned about the other one dying (Scott said it. Jimmy acted like it) until Jimmy went to red. Which I think mostly had to do with the fact that they both knew the other had more lives to spare. They really lived their lives like “me and my husband who couldn't care less if I live or die.” My dysfunctional faves.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

The idea of people having so many theories about it amuses me to no end. Over the years the speculation could probably get really intense too- maybe people even write speculative fiction about it.

As for the mystery finally being solved like. One that’s hilarious. Two- would it be a whole event? Not just the fact there’s finally a building there and the whole process of it- but maybe Wanmin has the craziest opening ever with how much is going on in there Akskdkkfkf.

(And I love the idea of childe going from terrifying god warrior who beat down celestia to. Local mischievous cryptid. It reminds me of the bake danuki in Inazuma. He’s just a little guy your honor. Just a little fox.

foreigners: yeah they say liyue has this like- ultra-powerful god of destruction that put celestia in its place like thousands of years ago. how scary. i've heard that he also has an intelligence network of spies across the entirety of teyvat. i know it sounds so fake and tinfoil-hat conspiracty but i've heard it everywhere! and he's just there chilling? how do they not have a heart attack everytime he does anything...

liyue natives: yeah this is master childe. yeah he's a bit stupid. yeah he could kill us all if he wanted. yeah we love him. what do you mean he could cause armaggeddon? god forbid gingers do anything. how old is master childe-? too old for you AND he's married. stay away from our god, foreigners.

[milimeters-morales]

quick acau things. cake is definitely poisoned i wouldn’t put it past miles

[lets-try-some-writing]

I had to ask this bc your teacher Optimus AU has me by the throat.

How would Optimus handle students or faculty who are just plain assholes to the people around them? I can’t help but think that it would be less of a righteous fury (oh he’d definitely be angry, but not just angry) and more of a mournful pity. You are so young, so small and so few in your years, he might think. Why would you give them all to misery? Why do you choose to see only the darkness in peoples hearts when there is so much beauty left in your world?

I'm so glad you like this AU! It similarly has me in a chokehold demanding I write more XD Also love this whole thought of Optimus being so old that he can't even really be mad and just disappointed.

Previous part here.

Children, All of Them

As a general rule Optimus greatly enjoyed his job as a teacher. It was a welcome relief from the weight of war and the burden of his position as Prime. It brought back old memories of better times when he was just the Head Archivist working cycle in and cycle out to teach and to catalogue. Being able to share the joys of his passion and the history of his people was something he found no end of happiness participating in. It certainly helped that many of his students and co-workers were wonderful people either just trying to get by or working hard because of their love for learning or teaching.

However not every student and faculty member Optimus worked with was a ray of sunshine.

He was well aware of the fact that he would likely have less than pleasant individuals around him at times. As such he had long prepared himself to handle aggression in the way that such feelings normally presented themselves on Cybertron. He was fully prepared to endure unsettling EM fields, threatening messages, non-verbal insults, quiet battles of wit, subtle touches that were intended to be painful, and much much more. On Cybertron aggression among the more civil members of society was always a near silent affair and never made explicitly public. It was always a dangerous game played between the involved parties and no others, at least if one knew the rules of high society.

Optimus was ready, that is until he came to the rather saddening realization that these humans, these infants in his mind were far less reasonable in expressing their distaste.

Every student and co-worker of his had bad days, it was to be expected and he always did what he could to help them. If a fellow teacher was stressed with work, he would take some of it from them and help them get things in order. If cleaning staff were stuck with too much to do and feeling disheartened, Optimus would remain behind long after hours to assist and bring out some snacks for them to thank them for their efforts. Almost the entirety of his paycheck went straight back into gifts for his fellow teachers and his students. He just wanted them all to be as happy as possible as they worked. Teaching and study should be fun, not a struggle just to endure.

His efforts usually solved the problem fairly quickly, however there were a few individuals who just refused to be reasonable.

The vice principle was a piece of work and reminded Optimus far more of a youngling just getting a taste of power for the first time. The man was strict, demanding, and made it his life's mission to try and find a way to force Optimus to teach traditionally even if it was less effective. For whatever reason he despised the way Optimus taught and the level of sympathy he showed to his student. Optimus of course held a degree of understanding, but was also left confused as to why. What was so wrong about children enjoying his teaching that it would cause the vice principle to dislike him so much?

His efforts to reach out to the vice principle and try to smooth out any misunderstandings only ended with threats of being fired. Optimus was not unaccustomed to people abusing their power, and so he let the situation be and instead focused on his students. However as the vice principle kept on digging further and further, trying hard to find a reason to get Optimus fired, the time for remaining inactive ended.

Thus one day he stepped out with the vice principle and went with the man to his office to talk. The vice principle was so very smug when he sat down thinking that Optimus intended to concede and give up his way of teaching. However instead Optimus pulled out an old datapad he had resized and styled and pulled up images of earth in all its beauty. Many of the pictures were of children laughing and playing, learning, growing, and overall enjoying life. The vice principle didn't understand and was prepared to lash out when Optimus allowed a hint of his nature to shine through his holoform. EM fields could not be sensed by humans the same way they were by Cybertronians, but the waves carried emotion and tone well enough to be vaguely felt.

Optimus: Why do you struggle so bitterly against my teaching methods?

Vice Principle: Its against protocol and makes the students more unruly! They need discipline and control, not fun and games!

Optimus: Children are just that, children. They are unburdened by the woes that come from age. They are pure and see the world in such an innocent way. They will lose that gift as they age, yet you wish to strip it from them sooner?

Vice Principle: What are you on about?

Optimus: Children are a gift, a glorious one that must be protected and tended to with utmost care. While yes, children do need a firm guiding hand to ease them along the path of life, they deserve the chance to enjoy their freedom while they have it.

Vice Principle: This is school! Not a playground! It is not a place to goof around, it is a place of learning!

Optimus: Yes, it is a place of learning, thus it should be adjusted to suit the children should it not? It is the greatest honor and burden one can bear to have the chance to mold the minds of the youth. They are our future, and having them live without joy will only induce a cycle of depression that will continue onward with them.

Vice Principle: I'm your superior! Just do your job and stop making a mess of things!

Optimus: Why is it that you dislike seeing the children joyful? Are you fearful that you will no longer be respected if they are not treated like young soldiers? Respect is something that is earned and gained through trial and action, not mere titles.

Vice Principle: This is slander!

Optimus: Is it? Your lives are so very short. Your world is beautiful and unmarred by the ravages of a war greater than you could ever understand. Appreciate the little joys in this life young one. It will not last, and neither will you.

Vice Principle: GET OUT!

Optimus got nowhere with the vice principle and he couldn't even bring himself to be truly angry at the man. He was youthful, drunk on power, and desperate to have as much control as possible. He was a product of the broken system of education he tried so hard to enforce. He was just like the delusional mecha that lorded over Cybertron, thinking themselves greater than all others purely because of their titles.

It was disappointing, but there was little Optimus could do if even his presence as a Prime did nothing to sway the man. More than anything else, he felt pity for the man. He was just a sad human who had not the years to know his actions nor the wisdom to be able to observe and see as Optimus did. A broken child lost in a broken system that he had never escaped from.

How very disheartening.

Of course the issues were not just with the vice principle. There was one other human who simply could not be consoled or convinced to behave, that being the boy who called himself Vince. He was a cocky, overclocked, and overconfident young man who had no issues flaunting his possessions and skillset even when it was the wrong time. He was exactly like the nobles back on Cybertron, and that brought a sickening sense to Optimus's mind at the thought of the boy turning out just like the cruel nobles that doomed his homeworld. He did not want to watch this infant race doom themselves through the same methods his people had.

They were still so young, so innocent, and lived lives far too short to be wasted on such foolish things. It hurt his spark and made him angry in a more disappointed way than anything else when he watched Vince harass his classmates and flaunt despite performing poorly outside of his motor skills. He was not fond of the child's seeming obsession with going after Jack who was one of most successful students. There was no reason for the behavior other than the fact that Jack showed an interest in getting a vehicle while Vince already had one. There also appeared to be an underlying conflict over courtship for a young female, but to Optimus it was ridiculous. The children were far too young for that. The behavior needed to be cut at the bud before it could grow into something like the vice principle.

Thus he took the boy aside after school one day and sat him down. Vince of course offered no respect whatsoever and only served to make Optimus sigh. So young, so foolish, and so very arrogant. The boy needed a wakeup call before things got worse for him later down the road.

Optimus: Vince, do you know why I pulled you aside?

Vince: No, but its probably for something stupid.

Optimus: You've been treating everyone around you poorly. Don't think I haven't noticed.

Vince: So what? They're all losers anyway!

Optimus: That is not a good way to view your peers child. They are all gifted in their own ways, just as you are.

Vince: Of course I'm gifted! I'm one of the best racers in Jasper! Those nobodies can't stand a chance against me!

Optimus: You put so much pride into you ability to race. Why is that? Do you fear being unable to succeed elsewhere? Or is it perhaps a false sense of entitlement?

Vince: What do you know old timer? You look like you walked off a movie set from world war 2! I bet you can't even drive more than twenty miles per hour without putting your hazard lights on!

Optimus: You are so very arrogant. Do you not realize just how harmful this mindset is?

Vince: Whatever old man!

Optimus: ...

Optimus: If that is how you wish to behave, then I will not stand for it. If you want respect, you must earn it. Get your car, I will prove to you that your pride is misplaced.

Vince: What? Are you serious?

Optimus: I am completely serious. Meet me out at the tracks and I will make my point.

Vince was shocked, but Optimus paid it no mind. Vince was a child that would only learn through force, and Optimus was not afraid to use it. Thus he absorbed his holoform and moved his real frame out. The team were bewildered to the point of Bumblebee tagging along just to see what was going on and report back. Not a spark expected half the school to be out at the tracks with Vince waiting with his sports car.

Optimus had his holoform step out and Vince gave him a look that screamed of confidence. He was so very sure he could beat Optimus with his vehicle, but Optimus merely shook his held and got into his vehicle as a student readied an airhorn to signal the start of the race. Bumblebee watched from his own holoform in confusion but also a bit of awe as Optimus obliterated Vince without even trying. The boy was left defeated and bitter to the point of marching off before Optimus could get a word in.

The legend of Mr. Pax grew and he was given a fine for misconduct, but beyond that Vince continued to be rude to all his classmates. However surprisingly he left Optimus alone and stopped what he was doing whenever Optimus came near. It wasn't much, and honestly it didn't fix much, but it was improvement to a degree.

The humans were so young, yet so bitter. They were so hopeful, yet so prideful. They were the embodiment of younglings just getting their pedes under themselves.

Children, all of them.

[twistedchristianscience]

comparing my top two blorbos as of right now. something something two nickels

[clownprince]

Ohh to be a little clown in love with the one man who stubbornly insists on seeing the humanity in you despite everyone else viewing you as a monster and regardless of how inhuman you try to make yourself out to be

[phoenixcatch7]

Trying so hard to not start fic writing before I've even finished the game but I want so so bad to write a time travel fic where post totk wild gets sent back to pre calamity hyrule in the middle of a lynel or gleeok fight, like he's just covered in monster blood and guts with a mishmash of armour pieces (at least one barbarian piece) hair long and tangled, scars all over, wielding a ridiculously huge savage lynel spear tipped with dragon claw and dripping sizzling blood. Smoke coming off him. Arm looking half rotted.

In the middle of the throne room.

Several particularly delicate lords and ladies faint. All the guards are pointing spears. He nearly takes someone's eye out before realising where he is.

Once he realises when he is it becomes a race of time to make the right waves before zelda comes to pick him up.

[sparkleresthold]

This was mostly an experiment with some halftone brushes, inevitably I got carried away and created a whole kilomegs (kilotron?) au in my mind.

[puppetmaster13u]

Meat Marionette #10?????

I am wheezing over the thought of the kids throwing out right fits whenever they get gunk in their feathers and refusing to take baths. And then throwing fits when Bruce starts to groom their feathers and fur.

Also just pondering about the league trying to do a meeting after a mission and just hearing unholy shrieking in the next room over the moment the door to the hall opens.

Au is a combo of my cryptid batfam & @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll Au, check them out <3

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

reasons i cant make jokes about characters' genders: it will not be a joke for very long

[the-acid-pear]

Honestly if you're of the belief Dave is some sort of reptile or adjacent creature the fact that he adopted a reptile and named him after Henry and then an amphibian and named it after Jack is... Makes me a little emotional.

[kindasleepycryptid]

Im about to go fight the brain. Wish me luck