#pointed in some right directions
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Can someone give me a few thousand dollars so I can go to Montana and study under Ben Geisler for a couple weeks thanks
#what a stand up dude#to say he took me under his wing is an overstatement but like when i was fresh fresh like no clue at all what i was doing fresh he got me#pointed in some right directions#legit without him i probably would not be doing this professionally#like not even from like specific direct things he taught me cuz he never taught me or anything but like gave some of his time and imprinted#some like general “how to be a craftsman” philosopy stuff#god i was such a thorn in his side#super grateful for showing me the kindness and patience that he did
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It's interesting (if often frustrating) to see the renewed Orc Discourse after the last few episodes of ROP. I've seen arguments that orcs have to be personifications of evil rather than people as such or else the ethics of our heroes' approach to them becomes much more fraught. Tolkien's work, as written, seems an odd choice to me for not wrangling with difficult questions, and of course, more diehard fans are going to immediately bring up Shagrat and Gorbag.
If you haven't read LOTR recently, Shagrat and Gorbag are two orcs who briefly have a conversation about how they're being screwed over by Sauron but have no other real options, about their opinions of mistakes that have been made, that they think Sauron himself has made one, but it's not safe to discuss because Sauron has spies in their own ranks. They reminisce about better times when they had more freedom and fantasize about a future when they can go elsewhere and set up a small-scale banditry operation rather than being involved in this huge-scale war. Eventually, however, they end up turning on each other.
Basically any time that someone brings up the "humanity" of this conversation, someone else will point out that they're still bad people. They're not at all guilty about what they're part of. They just resent the dangers to themselves, the pressure from above, failures of competence, the surveillance they're under, and their lack of realistic alternative options. The dream of another life mentioned in the conversation is still one of preying on innocent people, just on a much smaller and more immediate scale, etc.
I think this misses the reason it keeps getting brought up, though. The point is not that Shagrat and Gorbag are good people. The point is that they are people.
There's something very normal and recognizable about their resentment of their superiors, their fears of reprisal and betrayal that ultimately are realized, their dislike of this kind of industrial war machine that erases their individual work and contributions, the tinge of wistfulness in their hope of escape into a different kind of life. Their dialect is deliberately "common"—and there's a lot more to say about that and the fact that it's another commoner, Sam, who outwits them—but one of the main effects is to make them sound familiar and ordinary. And it's interesting that one of the points they specifically raise is that they're not going to get better treatment from "the good guys" so they can't defect, either.
This is self-interested, yes, but it's not the self-interest of some mystical being or spirit or whatnot, but of people.
Tolkien's later remarks tend to back this up. He said that female orcs do exist, but are rarely seen in the story because the characters only interact with the all-male warrior class of orcs. Whatever female orcs "do," it isn't going to war. Maybe they do a lot of the agricultural work that is apparently happening in distant parts of Mordor, maybe they are chiefly responsible for young orcs, maybe both and/or something else, we don't know. But we know they're out there and we know that they reproduce sexually and we know that they're not part of the orcish warrior class.
Regardless of all the problems with this, the idea that orcs have a gender-restricted warrior class at all and we're just not seeing any of their other classes because of where the story is set doesn't sound like automatons of evil. It sounds like an actual culture of people that we only see along the fringes.
And this whole matter of "but if they're people, we have to think about ethics, so they can't be people" is a weird circular argument that cannot account for what's in LOTR or for much of what Tolkien said afterwards. Yes, he struggled with The Problem of Orcs and how to reconcile it with his world building and his ethical system, but "maybe they're not people" is ultimately not a workable solution as far as LOTR goes and can't even account for much of the later evolution of his ideas, including explicit statements in his letters.
And in the end, the real response that comes to mind to that circular argument is "maybe you should think about ethics more."
#i had a whole 'nother tangent that i split off into a separate draft#but i've been thinking about why the 'but shagrat and gorbag are still BAD people' thing seems so inane and missing the point#but yeah. i feel like people desperately want to find some justification in tolkien (and elsewhere) for the idea#that doing something wrong to a person will become doing something right if you can find someone who 'deserves it'#and that literally anything can be justified if someone has been defined as a valid target (i.e. less than a person)#(you see this a lot in the whole twitter main character of the day thing - the idea that the problem is directing the firehose#against the wrong person by mistake rather than the firehose itself)#but it's super weird for a novel built on a metaphor about how using the tools of evil for a good end or against existential enemies#is fundamentally corrupting and only further props up what it's meant to oppose#and i mean... the character most like tolkien literally says he could not morally justify lying to an orc and rejects the ring#it's not exactly a deeply buried theme of the book#anghraine babbles#long post#anghraine rants#legendarium fanwank#legendarium blogging#shagrat#gorbag#tv: lotr#jrr tolkien
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Apologies that Billy Hargrove will never get:
"I'm sorry I left you behind" and "I'm sorry I didn't come back for you" (his mom)
"I'm sorry I hurt you" and "I'm sorry I made you feel worthless" (his dad)
"We're sorry we didn't see or care what was going on with you" and "We're sorry we didn't do anything to help you" (his teachers)
"I'm sorry I just stood by and watched" and "I'm sorry I looked the other way when you were hurt" (Susan)
"I'm sorry I got you in trouble with your dad" and "I'm sorry I didn't notice how he used me against you" (Max)
"I'm sorry I acted inappropriatly towards you" and "I'm sorry I treated you as a piece of meat when you're just a boy the same age as my daughter" (Mrs. Wheeler)
"I'm sorry I lied to you" and "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything that was going on" (Steve)
"We're sorry we only saw you as a monster when you were a victim" and "We're sorry we didn't try harder to save you" (the Party)
"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that" and "I'm sorry you didn't have anyone to turn to when you needed help" (me)
#billy hargrove#I'm having Feels#in many fics I read (and write) a big point is always when billy apologizes for his actuons#and like i get it#its a big step in the right direction#but it always leaves a taste of ash in my mouth when he's the only one to apologize because#he is owed some apologies too#why is he always the one to be forced to apologize#why is the pound of flesh always carved from his body?#ihni writes
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I just skimmed through the art part of your blog and holy bajeebus your LMK art is so beautiful and the headcanon ideas you come up with are so good I wanna steal em-
Kinda wanna see like a part 2 of the little angst you did between MK and Macaque a while ago. It's so interesting and I wanna see Macaque's reaction in your art style. (You don't have to of course, it's just a suggestion [idk if i spelled that right])
Thanks for reading and hope you have a good day/night!
Hope this is to your liking ^^
Part one here
#I’m sure there are some character nuances im forgetting but well 🤷🏽#I want their misunderstanding or whatever they have going on between then come to a head. literally just going ‘wait what’#for me I think it’s entirely possible that there was an actual fight and maybe tension leading up to that point#cause I feel like macaque is not just bitter about thinking he died to wukong but maybe some stuff that built up to that#maybe the fight was just the breaking point. maybe they’re idiots who don’t talk about it because they think they’re on the same page idk#chipper-smol wrote a cool theory abt them using macaques ‘you’re nothing’ line in s4ep1. from what I understand it could be a direct parall#parallel to when he said that to MK right before MK regained his nerve and hit macaque in the eye.. since flying bark foreshadowed monkey mk#waaaay back in season 1 (where his shadow is his monkey form in the opening) i think that could be deliberate#and they could have gotten billy to voice an entirely different line for that scene. but they reused his line from s3#in a very specific scene with wukongs narrative foil. hm#that aside I would have liked to hear billy voice the ‘you abandoned me’ line that would have killed me. but that’s just me lol#also looking at this I should have shaded the last frame to make it look more dramatic and serious but I ran out of time :(#if anything I want to see MK try and help them get back together. poor kid tries so hard to understand people so I think it would be cool to#see that happen. that’s what I like about him.. he asked macaque why he was working for LBD instead of accusing him of dooming everyone bc#he wants to and he tried to comfort spider queen by admitting he was scared of LBD too 😭😭#my art#myart#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk spoilers#Lego Monkie kid spoilers#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lmk season 4#Lego Monkie kid s4
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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where am i
#lucky doodles#these are all just from da movie with some uhh direction w/ the 8 bit colors from me#all except for the one on the bottom right i was having fun#wreck it ralph#might as well maintag idk#i'll actually finish something w these at some point. potentially#i'll need to organize them properly too lol#i <3 sprite sheet yaay
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thinking about the uchiha and the senju *not* being on equal footing for once. Indra, when chasing power, became the Daimyo of Fire instead of squabbling with his Father and Brother. His relation to the Emperor (his grandfather) ensuring the line. So hundreds of years later, the Uchiha are the ruling family of fire- over civilians and shinobi alike. They rarely, if ever, actually *serve* as shinobi, but they maintain their abilities to the highest degree possible because it's part of how they keep an iron grip on all the shinobi clans who serve under them. (The sharingan is as respected as ever, but now with the 'divine right to rule' implications tied into it's manifestation.)
Tajima is the current head, but he's coming close to retiring and having Madara take over. Izuna's been raised as Madara's advisor; assassinations are still a concern but heirs dying is much less common. They'd never put the main family into danger, so all of their siblings are still alive, but they all got married off at young ages to secure alliances. (Even before they got married off, they were raised with the mindset that they'd be bargaining tools, and so Izuna and Madara were raised separately to keep them from getting attached).
The Senju aren't a noble clan, and aren't even aware of their connection to the historical line of power. But the Uchiha are aware of it, and thus start to pay extra attention when Hashirama marries Mito. Uniting clans...it could be nothing, but it could also be a sign he intends to usurp. They're careful about that sort of thing.
Izuna presses the advantage this gives them. The Senju will have to give in to any demands they make that aren't *too* outrageous, and there's been whispering about Hashirama's brother being a genius inventor. Madara asks for Tobirama's service to their family, separating the Senju from a very useful tool if they are planning a coup and gaining the Uchiha a very major boon if there's no coup in place.
Tobirama arrives, blandly polite, covered in dirt from the road, and the presumption is that he'll get swirled away into court life. He'll either prove foolish and end up dead sooner than later, or prove clever and thus useful. In which case Izuna will keep him in mind if he ever needs something invented, or investigated, or otherwise prodded with a stick. One day the Senju's power will fade- they'll make a political misstep, lose an heir, Hashirama will turn into a tree. Then Tobirama will get returned, with the expectation to politely acquis to any requests the Uchiha make for the rest of his life.
Izuna gets attached instead. Tobirama's extremely compelling to him for all their similarities and differences. The man is a younger brother devoted to his elder; Izuna cares for his brother by handling the tricky court manipulations that elude soft-hearted Madara. Tobirama seems serve his brother by being the harsh one, the firm one, the threatening one. He's ill-suited for court. He lacks any skill at manipulation but is very adapt at biting insults, which is a terrible combination and also very funny for Izuna to watch. Izuna was raised from a young age to be careful about assassinations; Tobirama was raised from a young age to commit them.
Tobirama doesn't know how easily their positions could be reversed, if their ancestors had made different decisions, but Izuna does. He takes a very mean delight in that- especially because he fully believes the Uchiha deserve their place. They *were* the better bloodline, the divine right to rule was indeed always meant to be theirs, and it really only could be fate that a Senju would end up serving the Uchiha. It's a joke that Tobirama can never know, and his ignorance makes it funnier.
#tobiizu#izutobi#idk will elaborate at some point. but the conception of them not being at war but also not being equals. so interesting#they're both looking down on each other in this btw tho i didnt get into tobiramas POV#he thinks izuna is hilariously wasted. the man's so clever and so talented and so naturally gifted and what does he do all day?#the man is probably one of the best shinobi on the continent but they'll never know because he'll never fight.#tobirama takes a very direct issue with stuff (people justus things) not being used to their full potential. izuna has SO MUCH potential#none of it getting used. not even for politics!#he'll fuck the man and he knows if he messes up he'll die by the mans orders. but he doesn't *respect* him. izuna has to earn that.#izuna seeing a bedraggled feral man and instantly wants to put him in the nicest court robes hes got. not out of kindness but as a taunt.#though an au where tobirama actually does buy into the divine right stuff....could also be interesting. hmm
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the time skip between S4 & S5 robbed us of many things but one I would've loved to see is merlin going fully into anxious-event-planner mode for arthur and gwen's wedding
#please rec me fics about arthur and gwen's wedding#sorry – “handfasting cerimony.”#you know when merlin's giving arthur that keyed-up speech about his attire not being appropriate for the occasion#right before arthur announces hes going to marry princess mithian#imagine that kind of energy. but directed at everyone in the castle#and everything must be PERFECT for arthur and gwen so he almost has a meltdown at some point#after which gwen tells him to relax. probably.#headcanons#fanfic ideas#merlin#arwen
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I have Words to Say about disabled characters in Proseka but I'm especially kind of... Eeh about Saki, because of how perfect she is.
I've talked about this before but Saki is just not allowed, by the narrative, to be flawed. We have some very, very brief moments of anger or lashing out from her (NSNF, Doll Festival in particular), but aside from that Saki is just... So cliché and surface-level regarding her disability. That especially reflects in how the writers handled her relationship with Leo/need.
Yes, she is not angry at her friends for, let's call it what it was, abandoning her (besides Ichika). She is not upset with them or feels betrayed by them. She just forgives them for doing that because she's a good friend and that kind of person, to not dwell on the past and just look forward. She's only really upset at her illness, rate, and herself.
Do you know how shitty of a story that is to sell to disabled people? Oh look, this character suffered a lot and then their friends just stopped visiting them at some point! But no big deal though, they're all good! She doesn't hold a grudge against them so it's actually totally understandable and fine and you should look up to that attitude.
Sure, Saki isn't upset with Honami and Shiho. My point is that she fucking should be. I know their reasons and I don't care about them; what they did is shitty and I hate how the story just moved on from that and we never confront that again and probably won't. Why the hell not? It would make for an interesting conflict and story. It would make Saki an absolutely stunning character, and reflect many of our struggles with loving and caring for people that don't understand us and don't stand with us. Why do we have a story we do now, where Shiho and Honami's fuck up only bothers them but not the person they hurt?
Oh wait, I know the answer: because god forbid disabled characters be anything than inspiration porn.
#jay rambles.txt#jay pjsk critical.txt#Souma actually suffers from the same issue#but less than Saki to an extent. he feels so much more realistic to me#and I want to say this: Shiho and Saki are my favourite Leo/need characters. I'm not being a hater for the sake of it#but they're still not real people. they are vessels to sell a story and tell a narrative and I'm fully within my rights#to criticise said narrative and story and how it portrays (or doesn't) some things#I appreciate all ooc Saki writers because honestly sometimes it makes more sense for her be ooc in the right direction#Saki is just not good disability representation. she is - at best - there for diversity points#in other words: I'm bitter because my joints hurt today and someone touched my sore spot with pjsk lol
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Moon’s Turmoil~
#fnaf moon#fnaf security breach#fnaf daycare attendant#Moon is going through some inner turmoil#from my fic#point you in the right direction#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#fnaf sun and moon#fnaf#fnaf sun#fnaf fanart#fnaf fanfic#moondrop#sun and moon fnaf
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The Substance was easily one of the best movies of the year imo… loved the directing, the acting, the writing, the costumes, the cinematography (all those stark angles…), the outdoor shots, the INTERIORS… the way men were written and visually filmed, the way we don’t stay in a room after the main character leaves just so we can hear what everyone else thinks about her - it is HER narrative - I fucking love women directing horror esp. body horror. This is not even to mention the anti-cosmetic modification/injection/surgery themes which are… 😳 Universal was scared to release this film and backed out!!!! GO SEE THIS (but be warned it’s Extremely gory - all I’ll say is haters of excessive CGI in horror will NOT be disappointed in the creativity on display here)
#there’s something here for all women as well as for anyone whos tried to carve a new self out.#i think its incredibly apt#i probably dont need to explain to anyone why this is incredibly personal to me#like it could be a metaphor for multiple ways i nearly physically destroyed myself in pursuit of the Perfect#i cried so many times in the theatre lol#i will say it was odd to hear outrageous male audience laughter at some points but it IS darkly comedic and i laughed many times#anyway this movies thesis is in some ways the opposite of the t v glow shit. which oh it just delights me.#i did think some of the visual messaging was heavyhanded. however.. the wider audience frankly needs it :/#i saw way too many ppl reviewing it on tumblr who thought the MOVIE was mean spirited because antagonists r mean to some of the characters#so like. you can imagine how much the direct visual thesis went right over their head lol
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While people are asking health questions, if you’re a trans person on T specifically and you’re having unexplained urinary problems and pain I swear you are not rare or alone and also there are treatments for this. But what I and every other transmasc I’ve met with this issue have found is that it’s complexly linked to having a hypertonic pelvic floor! If anyone wants more information please feel free to DM me because I’ve been dealing with this for 6 years with little to no help until the last year and I know it gets lonely and overwhelming. You most likely don’t have to live in pain or give up T like many of us have been told.
#obvious disclaimer I am not a medical professional and cannot diagnose you at all#but I would love to offer some resources or point you in the right direction#Evan rambles#transmasc#trans hrt#testosterone#trans man#T#taking T
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Today I woke up and chose silliness!
(yes, the mood of my posts is all over the place but this is what you signed up for, it's literally in the name x'D)
This is another contribution to the silly rabbit au (by @cuubism ) featuring @magnusbae 's Dream in a hoodie.
#silly rabbit au#dreamling#well hob did say that he can fake is own death if needed but how many times will he have to do that? xD#at some point hob starts to attend his own funeral as a guest. and if anybody asks questions he's all like: no sadly i am no robert gadling#(/or whatever name he's been using) and i will miss that man dearly#(and he's speaking the truth because he's practically burying a life that he has built up. he's burying the person#he has been for past decades)#it's a slow process but hob starts to sprinkle the small but outrageous truths in conversation and let's others take it however they want t#he very inconspicuously adopts Dream's attitude and starts to play along with Dream's misleading truths#and then he starts to spin the tales in different directions - derailing Dream's stories#and THAT'S when the chaos really starts xD#why make dream's storytelling easier when he can twist it and basically fight fire with fire right? :DD#also. don't listen to me im just shitposting here
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"Administratively, too, [...] queens were considered the legal lords of their landholdings. [...] Grants noted that the queen's officials had administrative autonomy without being subject to the king or anyone else, and evidence of the same assumption can be gleaned from court rolls that were recorded with headings indicating the lord of the manor whose court proceedings were being enrolled. As an example, some court rolls for the manor of Haveringatte-Bower specified that it was the court of [Margaret of Anjou] that was in session, while later rolls recorded Elizabeth Woodville as the lord of the manor court."
-Michele Seah, 'My Lady Queen, the Lord of the Manor': The Economic Roles of Late Medieval Queens", Parergon, Volume 37, Number 2, 2020.
#queenship tag#margaret of anjou#elizabeth woodville#I really appreciated how Seah acknowledged the uneven surviving evidence for her subjects and how that affects her analysis.#It was very brief but it was more than what most historians do so it was very refreshing :)#my post#english history#this is for @ anon who asked if its true that Margaret mostly hosted her own courts while EW mostly stayed with her husband#I'm not sure which (if any) historian has said something like this* but I highly doubt it's true !#We don't really have solid itineraries in place for either queen to make any kind of firm conclusions of the sort#(ie: about their residences or anything else) though I'm sure it would have varied depending on the situation#But either way it's explicitly clear that both Margaret and Elizabeth held their own courts in their own lands on multiple occasions#And we also have evidence of both of them residing with their husbands in regular circumstances#*tbh this is too long to get into right now but this assumption does fit into the few 'revisionist' interpretations of both Margaret and EW#(which imo is just as degrading as her traditional interpretation for the latter) so I wouldn't be surprised if some#historians may have framed their situations in such a way and relied entirely on their own assumptions to do so#Either way as far as I know there is no evidence of any such contrast existing - at least not on a consistent basis.#and the evidence we do have contradicts the assumption#Hope this helps! I figured a proper excerpt from this article would clarify the point better than any direct answer from me <3#also in case anyone was wondering I *think* the title ('My Lady Queen the Lord of the Manor') was referring to administrative accounts#of EW based on what Seah wrote here - though ofc I'm not sure#queue
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Kyoko and Junko are two sides of the same coin, in terms of their Ultimate abilities.
Junko is the Ultimate Analyst, which lets her analyze and learn Talents, sure, but most importantly lets her predict what's going to happen in the future based on the data she has. Trends, people, interactions, relationships - all of that is something she can mentally and easily comb through to accurately guess at what will happen in the next step, two steps, three steps.
Junko's Talent lets her predict the future. Accurately.
Kyoko is the Ultimate Detective, which lets her analyze the past and figure out what happened to get people where they are now. She can look at people and determine their current everything and accurately determine how that grew out of their past everything. She observes to find motives to explain a current murder by gathering details that show what previously happened.
Kyoko's Talent lets her retrace the past. Accurately.
Between the two of them, they can see everything.
#musings#bandit writes fic#dr1 end rewrite fic#junko enoshima#kyoko kirigiri#danganronpa#that's why it has to be makoto AND kyoko TOGETHER#makoto reflects junko in terms of hope vs. despair#but he NEEDS kyoko as detective#because kyoko can read the past steps junko took#she's a reflection of past vs. future#but it also means junko can LITERALLY leave the breadcrumbs she needs for kyoko to follow#because she saw the crumbs to walk the trail forward#and kyoko will see them to walk the trail back#yes i want this to come up in the fic proper at some point#but i think this is also why kyoko is the biggest threat in dr1#every step junko makes in her predictions kyoko can trace right back to her in the opposite direction#etc.#and then you get into personality opposites and that's a whole other thing#XD
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Love being able to write. I can do whatever i want. I can make Ryuji interact w Lala-chan and u literally cant stop me.
#chattin#i feel like shinjuku and crossroads doesnt get enough love#ohya and lala dont get enough love 😭#if they had an option to work there as a parttimer some how my akira wouldve absolutely taken it#u never see the place packed or w customers at all; it just feels cozy every time u go there#akira doesnt have a lot of places free from prying eyes; so id imagine he goes there often to just hang and study#catch up w ohya and get a bit of knowledge and validation from lala#like shes so sweet. i love her. she comes across as wise without being unapproachable#she makes comments she shouldnt (talking about ohyas job and history) bc she just forgot that she shouldnt lol#adamant about not letting him drink while hes there. its like. a safe space for him.#and i think hed like to invite his friends into his safe space; esp ryuji#gets to a point where even ryuji stops by on his own sometimes.#hes got questions but hes always in his head; never says it out loud#but it leads him in the right direction almost all the time#im thinkin of him having like. the most base level internalized homophobia and transphobia#like the kind of shit you just pick up as a child and teen and never question#and u kinda make fun of it bc everyone else is. but akira stumbles into his life and makes it so confusing#like. i dont think hed be trans. but akira would make him second guess alot about himself#about what he likes. what hes into. what hes okay w doing w someone like akira#and lala is like. u got that look in ur eyes kid. come sit.#doesnt entirely get it. but he feels a little lighter. not on labels but on his feelings#‘kid. u think of the ideal person and u think of him. at that point; it dont matter what bits he got.’#and its blunt and MAYBE it gets him a little flustered. but hes always responded well to blunt words. no beating around the bush#makes his brain confront shit head on without the second guessing hed suffer through when left on his own#WAA. rambling.#gonna see if i can draft this up at some point
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