#point the fourth: nobody fucking asked you for your opinion!!!!

[chamerionwrites]

Hate the capitalism thing where people use business buzzwords to make a very, very dumb and hostile-to-human-life idea sound reasonable. “Did you know that you could cut costs by doing xyz (enshittifying your work) and move more product?” Why yes my dude. I do in fact understand the basics of how money works, thanks anyway for advertiser-splaining it to me. The glaring unaddressed problem with your proposal is that the product is then enshittified

[traceofexistence]

so youtube dropped some “trans women in sports” videos on my way, I watched one, it was well analyzed from a scientific point of view, but it only gave example of trans athletes who have won something against cis women, but I doubt it was intentional as the creator’s opinion is that competitive sports can never be truly fair as the genetic advantages of some people simply can not be controlled even in between cis people. over all a good video

then we go to the comments, and while there are plenty positive trans inclusive ones, the terfs are there to.

their talking points start with:

thousands of cases, of trans women breaking records and taking wins from  “reAL wAMeWn”

when you asked them to give you any example of those thousands, they of course move the goal posts and go on about

“but the athlete at 9th place would have taken the scholarship, or would qualify for the olympics, if the trans woman was not participating”

and you reply like a logical person, that the trans woman was 7th, or 6th or 4th, a mere top 10 athlete she didn’t break any records, her times/scores/weights/whateverthehell are similar to her cis opponents.

and they go

“but if she was playing in men’s sports she would be nobody!11!!” 

and you check your notes on a specific athlete to see that she had broken a record in the men’s division before her transition, then she stopped competing, until she was fully transitioned and in the regulation for trans athletes, and she won some local medals she lost some other locals, she didnt won a world title and she didnt break any record, so what the fuck you really talking about here?

“you are delusional, I have trans friends, I’m not transphobic”

then when they have nothing else to say, they go to another of their points, school sports

“but I was talking about school kids at 16 hormone replacement hasn’t kicked in yet!”

you have a perfect solution, puberty blockers

and they ignore all these points and they go back to elementary school biology of “males are stronger than females therefore unfair”  

we been knew that they dont give a fuck about facts at hand even if you slap them in the face with them.

then after that video and some back and fourths in the comments, youtube recommended another of those videos

now the one talking about the thing, is a cis white man, who is gay and a doctor and proclaims that he’s fully supportive of trans people, but the truth is the truth, and what he provides is a lengthy analysis of how male people are stronger than female people after puberty, and plays again and again that rich ass white girl who came 10th in a race and “lost” a scholarship she didnt need, to the 2 black trans girls who competed with her. and how it was so unfair for her.

he speaks of the “HRT reduces strength” for 30 seconds and dismisses it as not enough. shows pictures of some trans athletes that have made the news, but doesnt touch on their performances whatsoever. he doesnt touch at all on puberty blockers, which is probably the case with most if not all trans kids athletes these days. (where they have not been illegal that is)

now nobody ever reports on how many trans athletes are there really

a list on wiki shows less that 50 athletes

in tokyo olympics around 10k athletes participated, only ONE(1) was trans 

of course in local competitions the number becomes bigger, but it is still so insignificant that we are talking about a literal non existent problem

[ventcode]

And that’s why i’m giving up on life.

First I was born when they didn’t even want me

Seriously why give birth if you won’t give a shit about me?

My brother never cared either, maybe he acted so but it’s different now

Underfed, no attention towards me. How come they always treated my brother positively??

Second I was given a phone before I hit my teens

Many called me lucky, I never got their reason as to why.

That’s something damaging don’t you see?

I’ve had the same social for years. They all love me so!

Every post lately gets more concerning, but every follower of mine is blind

Third I was bullied as soon as I started my shitty education

The teachers, the students, nobody cared for me.

Not like that mattered, I taught myself to fight

They never bothered directly me after that, but the rumors that still spread are enough to get me mad.

You all deserve hell.

Fourth my friend group doesn’t give any fucks about me

They invite me to the danger, in which I let yet none are near to save

They never ask about my wellness, don’t act like true friends at all

Is this what it’s like to have fun?

Fifth I started to slowly lose my care

Behind on schoolwork, I always slept in class

I don’t take care of myself, who cares, I started vaping

I started cutting, the pain suits me if i’m such a painful person

I wore noise cancellers to stop everyones shitty voice

Who cares what you’re saying to me, fuck off and leave me alone, I know you don’t care

I don’t care what you think of me either, if im nice or a bitch that’s your opinion

Shut up either way.

I should’ve never transferred here.

Sixth i’m so close to dying anyways

A knife up to my throat for fun, for all my friends to see

This is all the fun, the thrill of the moment

Dunking my head into the pool until im unable to breathe

Overdosing too close to the dying point!

It’s so much fun, I wish it’d work already!!

Seventh im almost done, but in all i’m just tired

I don’t want anyone to become as I did, a cold and useless person

It’s too much for me to live at this point, I’m getting tired of all of you

I’ll never forgive you until the day this all ends

It’s painful everyday, I can’t keep living on like this

I’ve had enough fun, it was never fun in the first place

I grab my scissors and cut my hair short

Eighth and final reason, we all die anyways

I just want mine to end earlier

This life is boring

This reason is the same as the last, I’ll just shove it in your face

And no, you don’t understand what I've been through, you aren’t me

I’ve been through every worst possible thing, the things I’ve encountered

I’ve been used for others joy, clothes are kinda torn

I’ve been spiraling away, nobody cared

Compared to the last, never as good as my brother

Always finding new ways to feel pain and have as much fun as I can before I die

But there’s nothing for me to live for now

And that’s why i’m giving up on life!

I finish writing down all my notes for everyone to read

I head to my favorite spot and

Don’t end up like me, please.

With that I bid farewell drenched in gasoline

[witchofthevale]

You don't know why people send hate? Because they want to make others mad. On Twitter, if 1 year ago you said you were team green, you'd have 20+ people calling you slurs just because of it. For your preference, opinion, taste that DOESN'T HURT anyone. It happened on Tumblr too. Ask greenies and they'll tekk you. So why people can't mind their own business and stop willingly search for certain tags to see people expressing their opinion only for them to go full rampage mode because soemone expressed different preference? hotd fandom is the most toxic fandom I've ever been so whole idea of fandom being escapism, safe space to enjoy something is wishful thinking at this point. Why is that? 2 teams on the narrative of the show which would make people pick one side over another + polarising portrayal of team Black and team Green which speaks to black and white us against them way of thinking + general audience's age + immaturity of majority of people in this fandom. Sorry but this fandom was doomed from the start. What I mean is better for peace of mind to have smaller group of people to interact with when you know no one will attack you because your opinions are the same than try to make friends with people who might insult you whenever they want because your tastes are sometimes different. The truth is if someone wants to send hate their excuse could be anything you said. Now people are throwing slurs or rape/murder/anything apologist without understanding what it means. Our past in this fandom is different. Doing things for my mental health is my top priority. I don't know why you assume I've blocked 90% of fandom when it's maybe 50% but I guess after getting death threats I don't care about being liked by everyone. What I won't accept is behaving like a 3 years old just because I don't like Rhae Rhae and throwing a tantrum rectifying all kinds of slurs. It's good no one attacked you before. You're lucky because it's rare in this fandom on here or Twitter. I hope you won't deal with immature people sending you death threats and insults because you don't like x character. You still are enthusiastic about this fandom and I hope you won't have people attacking you when season 2 airs. I wish I was as enthusiastic though.

Damn ok, I'm sorry if I come off as flouncy or as if I didn't care about all the toxicity in the fandom. I'm usually not so careless, but I guess replying at 3am with melatonin pills already kicking in had been my fault.

First off, I do know why people send hate. I went off on it as more the energy you have to bring up to purposefully be an asshole and not have the guts to even put on a face or a name to. Out of all the mindful things you do in your day to day, sending someone a nasty, fucked up message as if nobody taught you any manners, is the most mind boggling. To me at least.

Im also sorry that your experience has been horrible since the start, I guess since this has been my fourth fandom I've actively joined in— written for, made an account for — I've learned which energy I devote to as out of all the fandoms I've been, this definitely takes the cake as the most toxic. I've been aware of how toxic this fandom is since last year, my best friend having been a devoted ASOIAF fan who read F&B like the bible (lol), she's exposed the gory bits of the team green vs team black discourse to me. Neither of us have engaged and I almost didn't watch the show because of that (and how much she ranted about the many changes, foremost, the mess of the ages).

Blocking is one hundred percent better for your mental health if you've had this much of a horrible experience, especially if you're keen to stay. It's truly the only way you'll survive through it. I don't block others based on not sharing the same opinions as I do , but I have blocked some who not only don't share my opinions, but say it in an aggressively ugly way.

Dunno if I've missed anymore points, I can tell this is important for you to explain to me so I wanted to reply as fast as I can. I'll be too busy the rest of the day otherwise. If I've missed anymore, please feel free to tell me.

I guess I didn't realize this was such a heavy topic for you as I felt the earlier one was sent pretty out of the blue as I didn't know where the reply initially came from, and I replied too lackadaisy.

[phoenixyfriend]

OKAY so on the topic of Star Wars takes wrt “character ends up in an A/B/O universe where they’re an omega, but they were previously a cis male in their canon”

@atagotiak and I had some Thoughts on discord

So, obviously, Anakin would make a good omega and he’s also incredibly murdery. Foregone conclusion that we're using him for this.

There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse. He shows up JUST as the war is starting. Canon timeline is in the third year of the war (he’s 22), but whatever dumped him into omegaverse also tossed him back a few years. No de-aging, just a bit of mismatched timeline stuff.

He's... really good at war, and clearly a Jedi, so the Temple just kind of goes "WELL OKAY THEN, SURE, YOU'RE IN, EVERYONE PRETEND HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME." The Jedi, by and large, don't care about omegaverse dynamics beyond 'what do you need, medically, to be happy and healthy' and 'what do you need to be aware of so you can be prepared for biases you encounter in the field?’

None of the civilian natborns (mainly politicians) want to put him on the field because of those biases. Anakin, being Anakin, is VERY blatantly an omega in scent, has never been on suppressants (because it wasn't a thing he fucking NEEDED), is incredibly emotional as a person, loves kids, etc.

Like, nobody wants an omega fighting a war anyway, but THIS one is like PINNACLE omega, and those awful Jedi are making him FIGHT just because he's good at stab!

The Jedi: Actually, it's because he's got several years of war experience that we don't, and he's a good tactician that works well with the clones-- Coruscant: You MONSTERS The Jedi: Look, we gave him the option to not stab and he looked absolutely devastated. Anakin, several days earlier: You don’t want me? I’m not good enough??? Jedi: Also he can beat up at least half the temple.

He doesn't know a damn thing about dynamics, but he DOES know that sometimes he's so horny he wants to stab HARDER. The clones are largely disinterested in their generals' dynamics because between mostly-Mando* trainers and no-dynamic Kaminoans, they only really care if a person can shoot.

* Mandalore approves of Fighty Omegas. As far as (traditional) Mandalore is concerned, you want an omega that will kill the threats to your children as well as you do.

Anakin: You know more about being an omega than I do. Rex: ...I'm an alpha. Anakin: Yeah. Let that one sink in a bit.

We have two options for Obi-Wan!

Omegaverse local Obi-Wan (beta) has never met this man before, and is very unnerved that the immediate default reaction Anakin has to his presence is releasing Family pheromones as if Obi-Wan is his DAD and like. This strange, too-tall man from another dimension has got absolutely NO control over what he projects in the Force OR in his dynamic.

Obi-Wan was ALSO transplanted from canon to omegaverse, and is also an omega, for contrast reasons. He is nice and friendly and and likes poetry and that sort of thing... but also he has the highest dismemberment count in the movies. Also he doesn’t prioritize romance.

We went with the second one because it's hilarious.

Someone watching them spar: Wow, omegas from that universe are terrifying.

As previously mentioned, now with some tweaking to account for both: Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don't exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood. (It's mostly not theirs.)

Nobody realizes either one is an omega until they "naturalize" to this dimension and Anakin goes into heat... and doesn't realize it, actually, because his primary symptom is heightened protectiveness and aggression. Everyone else with the right nose realizes, because the man has no control over his pheromone production, but Anakin? No. He just stabs. He’s angry and horny and he will cut someone.

Ahsoka has no reaction to human pheromones but basically everyone smells Anakin's "my child!" reaction to her, so... Cool. Have a padawan, we guess.

Anakin ends up sparring a lot with Aayla and Ahsoka, because only humans and near humans have dynamics, so these two don't REACT to the pheromones situation.

(Palpatine is a Kindly Old Beta who tries to treat Anakin the way he EXPECTS Anakin wants to be treated, which is. Not. Accurate.)

(Anakin hates it.)

I'm just so in love with "An omega can't fight." "You wanna fuckin' bet?"

There are plenty of omega Jedi, by the way, it's just... most of them can keep it relatively low-key instead of Anakin's jet-engine broadcast. Some, if they're known to be omega, probably take advantage of being underestimated, like Obi-Wan probably (and especially a version of Obi-Wan that was always an omega, unlike this version). They have a very different way of presenting themselves than Anakin, who's not subtle about being an omega and also not subtle about being all aggressive and stabby.

At one point, Anakin has to protect some Very Traditional Individuals who get all "Stay back, Omega, it's not safe!" and he's just... so tired of this shit. “You are squishy civilians and I'm a trained Jedi Knight and accomplished GAR General who's killed more people in one sitting than there are in this entire palace. Sit the fuck down and let me do my job.”

It starts making the rounds that Anakin insisted on fighting in person, and the rumors shift from "how dare the Jedi force an omega to fight" and over into things that are deeply hurtful in-universe in the vein of "broken omega" and some people try to say it to his face but like...

He didn't grow up here.

He doesn't care.

Say that to one of his friends and he's going to rip out your spleen, probably, but say it to him and he's just staring at you flatly and asking if that's a negative on getting away from the encroaching battle droids, sir?

"You're rather unpleasant for an omega, aren't you?" [deeply offensive] "I literally could not give less of a fuck about your opinion. Move."

It's not that there aren't omegas that act like Anakin, either, it's just that most of them aren't, you know, Jedi who regularly interact with the upper crust, or capable of his level of destruction. Unbeknownst to Anakin, everyone clocks him as Outer Rim based on his behavior, well before his accent gives him away, and certainly before he mentions he's from Tatooine, because Core Omegas Don't Act Like That.

Someone they meet in a more diplomatic setting says something decently passive-aggressive about how at least Obi-Wan acts more like how an Omega should. Then a battle breaks out for some reason, and... well. Anakin and Obi-Wan cause such a scandal by keeping score of kills in a battle, don’t you know?

Turns out sending Anakin to fight Ventress is great because she keeps expecting him to react a certain way but NO he's here to STAB.

I like the idea that Obi-Wan's favorite opponent these days is Grievous because the cyborg doesn't have a nose, and thus gives zero fucks about dynamics or heats. Dooku is a rich old man who has opinions heavily influenced by Sith Juice Making Him More of a Dick, and the Dathomiri can smell dynamics even if they don't have them, and so they have biases about those things. Meanwhile, Grievous is just there to Kill, and Obi-Wan genuinely appreciates the lack of commentary on his dynamic.

Dooku’s probably an alpha, or a beta who's used the whole "we are more level-headed" thing as one of several angles to keep himself the public face and supreme commander of the CIS.

On to more fluffy things that have less to do with political biases.

There's a lot of "I'm upset that my loved ones don't know me," but also please understand the appeal of Obi-Wan marching up to Quinlan like "Yes, hello, I understand you've been read in on the full situation behind myself and my former padawan. I was close friends with your alternate universe self, which I feel is necessary disclosure before I propose the following: Would you like to join me for my upcoming heat, as I have minimal experience with the dynamics situation and even fewer people I actually trust, and I believe I can put my faith in you to treat it as casually as necessary while still having control and respect for my person."

(The Team is in a fairly safe place to process stuff, but having sudden unexpected changes to your biology has gotta be a little traumatizing, on top of ending up in a universe where none of your friends know you and people have a whole host of unfamiliar forms of sexism to point at you.)

Obi-Wan, who wasn't quite touch-averse but was much more easily overwhelmed by physical contact than Anakin (who craved it), suddenly finds his body switching gears and insisting on cuddles with Trusted Loved Ones, which is.... mostly Anakin, on account of nobody else really knowing him yet. Also Ahsoka, who is aware that she's something of a replacement for her alt-universe self, but Anakin explained it as "I love you so much no matter which dimension I'm in or what you're like, and I'd like to get to know you the way I got know her."

(It's rather eloquent for Anakin. He got Obi-Wan to help him draft up the script for when he pitched taking on omegaverse Ahsoka as a padawan.)

Anakin gets a more intensely sexual heat than 'usual' at one point for Reasons (IDK it could be as innocuous as 'we got better food than the usual rations and my body is reacting to the higher fat content with the belief that it's safer to have a baby now'), which nobody takes a whole lot of notice of because they're in a WAR, and also this is only his fourth one so it's not like he's got a lot to compare it to... except then the predominantly alpha clones can't stop themselves from reacting to the pheromones, mostly by wandering past his door and asking if he needs anything, offering up alpha-scented blankets and stuff for the nest to soothe the hormones, bringing snacks and electrolyte drinks, and like, Anakin is flattered, really, but fuck off please.

(He got a warning from medical a few hours before it hit that it would be different, so he actually does have alpha-scented fabrics to help him out. Apparently that's a thing you can just ask friends for, so he asked Rex if he had anything on hand that he could spare. He now has one of Rex’s recently-used sheets and a bodyglove in the nest.)

(Anakin has no idea how to feel about the nesting instinct, but at least it’s warm.)

Tia asked "Oh hey, who has the scared and horny reaction to his carnage?" and like.

Listen. I'm not saying I've been low-key imagining this as Rex being a very subby alpha who's really into Anakin's whole Thing but...

At one point Anakin gets injured in a way that requires painkillers and he ends up whining to the point of almost crying about the fact that nobody is cuddling him right now in medbay and Kix just gives up and comms Ahsoka to come hug her weird older brother.

And Then There Is Purring.

That’s a Thing Now.

Rex ends up in the pile somehow. He came over to check on Things and ended up yanked in by half-asleep, half-high Anakin, who has a grip like an octopus and no impulse control and is purring like a pod motor while NUZZLING HIM.

There’s a lot of blackmail photos featuring Rex’s very intense blush as he’s cuddled by his commander (giggling at him) and general (clinging like a tooka and rubbing himself all over).

Anakin is deeply offended that ANYONE thinks he'd want to get pregnant by just any old person, NO he needs to fall in LOVE there needs to be EMOTIONAL DRAMA and if Padme won't have him (apparently she's in a relationship and no he's not BITTER) then he'll find someone else to have a whirlwind romance with!

People think Anakin's a slut because he can't control his pheromone production (he has NO practice and for health reasons he can't go on suppressants) so he always smells open and ready for flirtations, which Obi-Wan also has to a somewhat lesser degree (he's older so his body just naturally produces less), and then someone tries to cross a boundary and grabs his ass and ANYWAY Anakin has to now fill out an incident report for breaking a civilian's arm.

Again.

[thebatfamfanatic]

Six Times He Met Her

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, guy taking advantage of a minor in first chap, mention of underage smut in fourth chap, making out?, violence, mentions of blood/injury, main character death, adult language, angst

A/N: First thing I’ve written on Tumblr!! Tell me if anybody likes it, or if I broke your heart. And yes, I know I’m evil.

1-

The first time he saw you was around 2:30 in the morning. Jason was squatting on the edge of a rooftop in Gotham, surveying the dark scenery below him.

Somehow, there was still plenty of traffic on the dirty streets, plenty of cars honking and driving around. Jason always wondered who the fuck needed to be somewhere at 2 am.

He fiddled with a loose seam on the Robin uniform he sported each night, hunting down the assholes of Gotham (pretty much 70% of the city) and putting them in jail, where they belonged.

At 16, Jason Todd technically should have been in bed, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and doing some rich kid shit during the day. Of course, his adoptive (long story) father, Bruce Wayne, richest playboy in Gotham, employed him to be his little tweety bird sidekick at night, so here he was, at the rendezvous watching the streets. yay. A scream came from an alley nearby. Jason stood, stretched his legs, and leaped down from the roof onto the ground. He pinpointed the alleyway where the noise was coming from and raced into it. A girl, about his age, had been cornered by some bitch dude who thought he could take advantage of this girl. Not on Robin’s watch.

Before the girl could scream again, the guy was on the ground and Jason was helping her up. She shakily took the hand he offered her and looked him in the eye. Shit, she had gorgeous eyes. Jason froze for a second, lost in her beauty, before clearing in his throat.

“Hi. I’m Robin, uh, you probably knew that. Are you okay, ma’am?”

He hated the squeak that came out of his mouth. He sounded like a fucking 5 year old. The girl raised her eyebrow. She had recovered rather quickly. “You don’t have to call me ma’am. I’m not some rich-ass royal whatever from Britain.” Jason liked this one. Sassy, but just so. He inquired where she lived, and she gave him the address. With his grappling hook at the ready, Jason pulled her closer to him. She jumped at the sudden closeness, but seemed to enjoy it. Maybe? He didn’t know shit about girls.

Jason shot the hook, propelling them up in the air, and landed on a rooftop. They continued this routine until he got in front of her house. It was still several seconds before he released her waist.

She started to walk towards her door, before stopping.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Sorry, what?” Jason blinked.

“I thought you were smart, Robin. Its my name, dumb ass.”

Then Y/N disappeared into her house. Jason stood there foolishly outside on her front lawn for a while, thinking about the girl he had just met. She was unlike anyone he had ever met, and he realized 10 minutes later that he had forgotten to ask about where her family was and everything.

Oh well. Bruce would be expecting him anyways. Jason shot his grappling hook and started home, still dazed from the encounter.

2-

The second time you guys met was two weeks later. Jason was just Jason Todd, a normal 10th grader living in the shadow of his (adopted) older brother Dick Grayson. Nobody paid much attention to him, and he didn’t really mind. Mostly Jason focused on getting A’s in class and then retreating into the library until Golden Boy’s after school clubs were over.

That is, until you walked in. It sounded as if you had just moved here, and for a minute, Jason felt a little sorry for you. I mean, Gotham wasn’t the greatest place to spend high school, or any grade, in his opinion.

You looked at your schedule from across the hall and then up at the locker next to him. For a second, your eyes met his and Jason was content. Lost in those brilliant colors. And then you looked away and started walking towards him. He realized just in time maybe he should stop leaning over your locker as you stopped next to him.

“Hi. Y/N. Just moved here. Looks like we’re locker neighbors.”

Jason was about to reply with “I know” but restrained himself. “Jason. Nice to meet you. Congrats on moving to this shitshow.”

He managed to not grin like an idiot as you laughed. The sound was music to his ears, like beautiful bells. God, he was being sappy.

“It’s not much of a shitshow when you’re here.” Ooh, she flirts too. Jason smirked as you opened your locker and dumped your stuff inside, pulling out the things you needed for your first class.

The first bell shrieked just as you closed your locker. “See you around, Jason.”

The small smile you gave him made his day, and he almost forgot to get to class. Yes, you were certainly one of a kind, and yes, Jason wanted you. The question was how to get to that point.

3-

You guys had a couple classes together, and frequently sat at the same table during lunch, so it wasn’t long before you were quick friends with Jason. However, the next notable time you met was a little while after he got your number.

Jason was laying on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through Tumblr as he thought about ways to ask you out.

Y/N, would you grant me the honor of going out with me? No, too Romeo and Juliet.

Hey, want to grab ice cream? He had to make it clear what his intentions were. Then it wouldn’t be weird if he kissed you, right?

Oh, god, if he fucking kissed you….what would that be like? Before Jason could start fantasizing, his fingers were flying across the keyboard and he had sent a text to you. What did he do, what did he-

Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to see that new movie this weekend. It seems like something you would enjoy.

Hm. That was actually pretty good. Where did he come up with that?

Jason had just started inspecting his fingers for some kind of sign of being possessed by smooth-with-girls-syndrome when you responded. He looked up and read it quickly.

Sure, I’d love that! Thanks for thinking of me ❤️

A heart. You had put a heart at the end of it. Did that mean you knew it was a date?

Jason sighed. He certainly hoped so.

4-

The weekend date went good. By the end of it, Jason was sure you knew it was a date. The second one passed, and then the third. The third one was when you hesitantly pecked him on the cheek. The fourth was when he kissed you actually. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was just enough for him to take you on a fourth date. An actual “will you go out with me on a date” kind of thing.

He took you to a restaurant in the fancy part of things. You two ate food that two broke 16 year olds technically shouldn’t have been able to afford, but Bruce helped Jason out.

Jason drove you home afterwards and discussed the topic of the upcoming summer during the car ride. What you were doing, where he was going. The entire time, Jason had butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how to act. Was he messing it all up, or were you actually into him?

Once he parked in front of your house and walked you up to the stoop, you looked at him. He noticed you were biting your lip nervously, and god, why did he think that was so hot? “My parents aren’t home.” It was the softest Jason had ever heard you speak, but he knew what you meant. He smiled gently, and kissed you again. This one was destined to last longer, and before either of you realized it, you had opened your door and you were leading him to your bedroom.

That night was one neither of you would forget, and by the end of it, Jason had officially asked out successfully.

5-

You and Jason spent a lot of time together after that. You met his older brother, Dick (who was very happy for Jason, too happy in his opinion) and his dad, Bruce Wayne. Bruce was cool, but very busy all the time.

By two months, Jason still hadn’t told you his identity as Robin, and he was running out of excuses. One day, you confronted him, assuming he was cheating on you. He tried everything, but he had to go out on patrol.

Jason left that night assuming you were broken up. The entire patrol, he wasn’t himself. Truth was, he loved you so much he was afraid of losing you. That had become his greatest fear. It was that night everything went wrong.

6-

You were out taking a late night walk. Down by the pier, a cold wind was blowing, and as you walked past warehouse after warehouse, you pulled your coat tighter.

You were affected as well, and confused about where you and your boyfriend stood. Did you guys just breakup? Did he love you? Did–

A scream echoed from one of the warehouses. You turned, afraid of stepping closer but afraid of leaving the person. Eventually, your curiosity won over and you climbed up several crates to peer into the window.

What you saw inside almost made you scream yourself. Robin, the hero everybody talked about, lay defenseless and bloody on the ground as a tall man-the Joker- whacked him over and over again with a crowbar.

You gasped, wanting to help, but you knew that would be foolish. You would just get in the way for a minute. Tears started to form in your eyes as Robin weakly cried out from the pain. He looked so…helpless.

Joker relentlessly beat him with the crowbar, and Robin’s mask began to come off. You rubbed the tears from your eyes just as the mask fell to the ground.

“No.” was the only thing that you could muster. Jason lay on the ground in the bloody Robin suit. Jason fucking Todd. There was your boyfriend, being beaten to death by the asshole of all assholes. That was why he kept disappearing at night, because he fucking protected the city!

You were mad at yourself for being so cruel to Jason without knowing what was really going on. You barely paid attention as Batman and Nightwing suddenly burst through the windows.

Joker laughed, and said something you couldn’t hear from the outside. Probably taunting Batman as he watched his apprentice get beat to death.

A fight broke out, Batman lunging at Joker as Nightwing rushed to Jason, laying broken on the ground. You had just enough time to duck as a Batarang came swooping out of the hands of the Caped Crusader and straight through the window you were looking through.

It was then you realized how close Jason was to death, and what you needed to do. The window pricked your jacket as you jumped through it, but you didn’t care. Gymnastics back in 6th grade helped when you landed awkwardly. Nightwing spun around, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that was Dick, which meant Bruce was Batman.

However, none of that mattered when Jason was half dead in front of you. Nightwing- Dick- made no effort to stop you as you knelt in front of Jason. “No, no, no.” You cradled his head in your hands, trying hard not to recognize how limp his body was, and how his chest barely moved as he struggled to breathe.

Jason’s eyes were closed, tears running down his face silently. You were crying as well, mumbling curses and things that made no sense.

“Please, don’t be dead. Please, I-I love you.”

You watched Jason make no acknowledgement he could hear you, watched him breathe once more. His chest rose and never fell.

You screamed and buried your head in his costume, not caring about getting blood on your face. Dick pulled you away wordlessly, out of the warehouse. You barely registered that the warehouse exploded behind you a few seconds later.

Dick let you sob into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Him and Bruce exchanged a short conversation, both riddled with grief.

Six times you and Jason had met, and that was the last.

[theangryjikooker]

Have you seen the recent photo they posted on Twitter?? Do you think they’re more real now!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. LOL, I got a few of the same asks that are asking me similar things, so I'm just going to elaborate everything in one ask. Consider this an official opinion because I got really toasted about it.

I really wanted to retweet the nonsense I saw being said last night and comment on them, but no. Because obviously.

First, I'm not denying that I was flailing when I saw that tweet posted. Any Jikook content, I'll take it! Seeing them two together makes the butterflies in my heart all frenzied, and I did--for a moment--think that it was a self-timed shot. That would've really been something else.

That said, some Jkkrs started superimposing a romantic tone on the photo because they're in the same picture together with a beautiful backdrop, and if we're not breaking down all the things going on, it looks kind of-sort of intimate.

But the thing is, they were totally omitting the fact that Taehyung was there (and I don't know how much of this is true, but people were saying Hobi might've been there as well). Three/four people does not a romantic date make--unless you're into the poly thing (which cool, less drama for you). And it's not the fact that they were ignoring a third or fourth party involved on its own, it was more that they were taking a scene and running away with it, and then spreading it like that was EXACTLY what was happening. Like maybe step on the brakes and think about what you're saying before you say it?

Then the usual narrative of one of them admiring the scene but the other admiring the first one as the scene started floating around, that caught on fire, and it spread like a virus. Like? Uh?? The two were photographed having a conversation, most likely, if you looked close enough at how Jimin is angled (you don't even need to look that close). If anything, the shot seemed candid, and that was the beauty of that photo to me. (Side note: I'm not saying that one half of Jikook looking at the other while the other half is unaware doesn't exist, but that doesn't appear to be the case in this recent photo.)

I'm not saying that the photo isn't cute or pretty (it is now my lockscreen, thank you very much, along with other Jkkrs, I'm sure). And Jkkrs are allowed to paint the town red with Jikook being Jikook, but I wish there was some cognizance that they're in a group setting before making these overarching statements at how romantic they're being and how it's obvious they're boyfriends. I'd have a different outlook on this if they were alone together, and I'd have a field day with it, but they weren't.

To clarify, I'm not talking about the Jkkrs who were appreciating the photo for what it was--their faves being shot together and sharing a moment that happened to be caught on camera. If the photo adds further proof to you that they're real, more power to you. If you're a Jkkr supporter and disagree with me entirely, let me hear it from your point of view. Is there something I'm missing?

But on the other side of the coin--I rarely like bringing them into this, but some Tkkrs really had some marbles clacking in their brains or something. I was on board with them trying to remind everyone that Taehyung was there, but a few of them got too arrogant about it and started acting like Jkkrs were intentionally isolating Jikook? Omg, shut the fuck up. Tkkrs do the same fucking thing as is their right to do so (Harry Styles concert and the Vminkook vlive, to name a few, despite the fact that they weren't alone). But the more damning argument to this is that Jikook were the only ones in the photo, what or who do you think they were cropping? NOBODY. Good god on a cracker, what the fuck.

Edited to add: A user in the replies had this to correct about the photo - “Agree almost entirely, except JHope wasn't there. He went to Venice this week, while the photos of Vminkook were from last week.” I’ll leave my text as is, however, to show what I’d originally thought.

[mochegato]

What She Deserves

From the prompts “Have you lost your damn mind!?” and “Please, don’t leave.”  From @sophie-herondale.  

Sooo, this went longer than expected and as it is more than a couple hundred words, there is some angst, but happy ending!

Uh… this fic includes Jason and Constantine so…. There’s a bit of swearing.

“Have you lost your damn mind!?  What the hell was that?” Jason demanded pulling Marinette’s arm back to stop her from walking away and force her to look at him.

When she finally looked back into his eyes, her eyes ripped into him.  He squared his shoulders and set his expression waiting for her to lash out at him.  “You’re going to have to be more specific, Red.” She spat out the nickname like an insult.  “Which ‘that’ are you referring to exactly?  The agreeing to hang out with you?  The getting ignored all night?  The not getting nearly drunk enough?  The talking to people who actually showed an interest in me?  The trying to make friends?  The dancing with friends?  Which one? There are so many ‘thats’ from tonight, I don’t know which one you mean.”  She stalked closer to him with each sentence, but since he refused to back away as she did, she was now flush against him, looking almost straight up to glare at him.

“I meant taking John fucking Constantine’s goddamned phone number.  Which is probably literally goddamned, by the way.”

“You have a problem with John?  You seemed to be fine with him a little bit ago.  You had no problem with him when you invited him tonight.  What changed?” She snapped at him.

He stepped back to give himself some space.  It was hard to think when she was so close to him.  He couldn’t form coherent thoughts when he could feel her pressed against him. “Well for one thing, he’s old enough to be your dad…”

“You’ve slept with older…”

“…second, he’s totally morally questionable…”

“So is everyone else you know.”

“…third, he can’t be trusted…”

“That’s the same as the second.”

“…fourth, he’s an asshole…”

“Name someone you hang out with that isn’t.”

“…fifth, he smokes…”

“… so was almost everyone else in that room…”

“sixth… sixth?  Yeah, sixth, he is drinks his weight in alcohol…”

“You really want to throw that particular stone?”

“…seventh, he is unrepentantly violent…”

“Oh, you really do want to go there.”

“eighth, he is nowhere near good enough for you.”

Anger flared in her eyes. She stepped closer again to jab her finger into his chest.  “You don’t get to decide that.  I decide that.  And I decide that someone who pays attention to me and is concerned about me is good enough for me.”

“He isn’t.”  He growled back.

“Oh?  And who is?” she demanded, throwing her arms out.  “Tell me, who should I be talking to, oh Wise One, oh Knower of Others’ Worth.  Who do I deserve to be with?”

He stared at her for a few moments, mind racing to come up with an answer to that question.  Who was good enough?  Who would he approve of?  “Nobody,” he whispered out looking at her earnestly.

She looked at him in shock. Her face quickly shifted to hurt, then morphed into a carefully constructed blank expression. “Good to know. Thank you.”  She said unemotionally, as though he had just told her the weather.  She turned around quickly and moved down the street as quickly as she could without actually running.

He watched her leave wondering what caused the shift in mood.  Was she really that appalled by the idea of him thinking that highly of her, of his opinion of her?  Was he that reprehensible that a good opinion from him was a red mark on her?  She was probably right, but it still hurt to know she believed it too.

“That was a sight to behold, mate.” John said as he lit his cigarette behind him.

Jason whipped around to face him.  “You should be ashamed, you fucking pedophile.”

“I’m not going to argue with the rest of what you said about me, but she’s over 18.  So legally, it isn’t pedophilia.”  He stared unimpressed as Jason growled at him and pushed him against the wall, pushing his forearm into his throat to keep him there.  “It’s just creepy as fucking hell and disgusting.  She’s young enough, technically, she could be my granddaughter. I’d rather skin my arm with a dull knife.”

Jason eased up on his hold, confused about the change in attitude.  “I didn’t give her my number to shag.  She has some information I want.  I have information she wants.  We’re going to meet up tomorrow and exchange information.  Magical information.”

“You were dancing with her,” Jason narrowed his eyes at him.

“She wanted to dance and nobody else was volunteering to dance with her. Actually, nobody else seemed to want to be around her, almost like they were afraid of upsetting someone if they got too close.”

“You don’t dance.”

“She was sad.” He shrugged. “Apparently, she was getting ignored by some twat and she needed someone to be nice, platonically.  My hands never wandered from her hands.  She needed someone to confirm she wasn’t the wanker, he was.  More specifically, the wanker that just told her she deserved to be alone.” He looked at Jason pointedly.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an appointment tomorrow and I’d like to get pass out drunk with enough time to get some sleep before that.”

He easily pushed a stunned Jason off of him.  Jason stared at a point on the wall.  That isn’t what he had said was it?  He replayed what he had said again.  He said nobody deserves her.  She asked who she deserved to be with and he said nobody, because nobody was good enough to deserve her.  Mother fucking FUCK.  He hadn’t added that last part.

He raced down the street in the direction she had gone.  He needed to find her.  He needed to fix it.  He couldn’t believe how stupid he was.  This is exactly the kind of thing that proved he didn’t deserve her.  She had to know that.  She had to know she was better than him and his friends.  He finally caught up with her a block away from her apartment.

“Marinette, stop!” He yelled to her as he ran.

She continued walking, the only indication she had heard him was a slight stutter in her step and an increased pace.  He moved in front of her and held his hands up in a placating gesture, trying to catch his breath from having run for blocks to catch up to her.  “Wait, please.”

“You’ve said enough tonight, don’t you think?” She said coldly.

“No,” he begged.  He looked down at her face and the sight broke his heart.  She had wiped away the tear tracks, but she couldn’t hide the red that lined her eyes and branched out throughout her eyes.  He had done this.  He made her cry.  He silently cursed himself.  “That didn’t come out the way I meant it.”

“It’s fine Jason.  Don’t worry about it.  I just want to go to bed.”  She said tiredly, refusing to look in his eyes.  She moved to get past him again.  He backed up so he wasn’t preventing her from walking, but was still in front of her.  He wanted her to understand but he was not willing to make her even more uncomfortable.

“Please, don’t leave. Please listen.” He begged her, but she kept walking forward.  He moved out of her way and allowed her to continue.  He clenched his fists and let out a frustrated breath.  He looked up to her retreating back and tried one last time. “I meant nobody deserves someone as amazing as you.” He called after her.  “I meant you are too incredible for anyone I know.  I meant… I meant you are brilliant and kind and talented and hilarious and strong and sassy and everything that is good in this world.  I meant… I meant you deserve better.”

Sometime during his speech she had turned to look at him, her mouth opening slightly, forming an ‘oh’. She blinked a few times and looked down to gather her thoughts.  When she looked back up at him her eyes had softened.  “That sounds awfully lonely, up on that pedestal all on my own.  I don’t want to be up there by myself.  I don’t want to be up there at all.”

“Sorry, Pixie, but to me you are perfect.  You always will be.  So even if you’re a monster in the mornings and you can’t say no to anything to the point that you overload yourself into anxiety attacks and you like horrible TV shows and three drinks has you falling over drunk and you have terrible taste in who you let get close to you, you will still always be perfect to me.” His voice grew gentle as he spoke.  He moved closer to her as he spoke until he was close enough to brush a strand of hair behind her ear and cup her cheek.  

She reached up to lay her hand on his and looked at him eyes shining with tears again.  “Why have you been avoiding me?  Why didn’t you speak to me all night?  All week?”

“Because you deserve better than me.  I was trying to back away so you could find someone who deserves you.  Someone smart, like you.  Someone with a kind heart, like you.  Someone who would give their shirt to help someone else, like you. Someone who makes you smile, like you make everyone around you smile.  Someone who makes you unabashedly, breathlessly, wildly, happy …”

“Like you,” she cut in before he could finish, tears spilling over again.  “That describes you.”  She reached up to twist her hands around the back of his head and pull him down to her lips. She put all her passion and love into her kiss, kissing him desperately, hungrily.  He wound his hands around her hips and pulled her closer to him, pressing her body to his as he fiercely returned her kiss.  

They pulled away when they could no longer go without air.  He pressed his forehead to hers and shook his head gently.  “I don’t deserve you.”

“I decide what I deserve and although I don’t think I’m good enough for you, I want to believe I deserve to be happy.  And you make me happy.” He shook his head vehemently.  She cupped his face to slow his motions and spoke before he could deny it.  “I don’t want to argue about that tonight.  I don’t want to debate worth and mistakes tonight.  Tonight I want to kiss you.”  She leaned up to place a chaste kiss on his lips.  “Tonight I want to be close to you…” she moved her hand to the back of his neck to play with his hair. “… and snuggle up with you while we watch television. Because I have amazing taste in shows.” She grinned up at him.

He chuckled and shook his head, “You really don’t.” He gave her a gentle smile and caressed her cheek. “But, I’d endure worse for you.”

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[jjmaydank]

Balance

summary: The group thought that after JJ got a girlfriend, she’d balance him out and drain some of his over energetic and sometimes reckless personality. However, you indulge in his antics just as much as he does. 

a/n: This came to me after listening to Queen of Disaster by Lana on repeat enjoy! Masterlist coming soon. 

cw: drinking, innuendos, and weed mention. 

‘No’ you mouth to JJ from across the room. He doesn’t say anything, instead takes a sip of his beer and lifts his eyebrows suggestively. He’s been eyeing the door for the past two minutes. 

You’d love to go back to your car or your place with him but you didn’t want to have the whole gang to know you guys skipped out to mack. 

“Y/N and I are leaving now” JJ announces standing up and reaching for your hand.

“Seriously you guys?” Pope says with annoyance. 

“No we’re not” you say, giving him a look that screams ‘stop’. He responds with a look that says ‘make me’. He steps closer to you, towering over you as you sit. He makes it so hard not to give in. 

Taking his hand and getting up, “We’re gonna go take a walk on the beach before heading home” you say trying to sound convincing. The group eyes you and JJ suspiciously but don’t press you guys further. Just as you think you’ve made it out of the clear, JJ speaks up again as you hold his hand pulling him out the door, 

“That’s code for we’ve gonna go f-“ he’s abruptly cut off by your hand covering his mouth. 

“That’s enough” you say with wide eyes.

“Even if we were it’s definitely not happening anymore tonight” you release your hand from his mouth and watch his expression turn into a defeated look. you wave for the both of you and immediately drag him out of the door. 

“are you serious about us not having sex tonight?” JJ finally speaks up again. You sigh and “no, it’s just the gang doesn’t need to know our business dude”. 

Unaware of how the group can still hear you guys from inside the house. 

-

Stumbling drunk as the party had begun to die down. If you were going to drink might as well do it to get wasted, you weren’t some grown adult woman who enjoyed the taste of wine. 

It would probably be embarrassing tomorrow to face Kie, Pope, and John B but at least you’d wake up next to JJ. 

‘Fuck’, you thought, ‘where’s JJ?” Your hands instinctively reach out to your sides for his familiar hand.

“Take me to J please. JJ. JJ Maybank. My boyfriend” in your head you sounded way more put together than how you actually sounded. Kie understood you though, “sit tight and I’ll go find him okay?” She said placing a hand on your shoulder as if to make sure you were going to stay seated. “No” you said standing up too quickly and stumbling to the side because grasping at kie’s arm. “Take me- take me with you” you plead, your red glossy eyes staring into hers. She sighed and put your arm around her shoulders and her other arm holding you by the waistline making you walk as straight as you could. you stumbled into John B’s place and almost tripped on the porch. 

As soon as you get inside though, you’re stumbling again and this time you actually break away from Kie’s grasp and fall to the side. The armrest of the couch breaks your fall but not before smashing against your forehead hard.

“Fuck” you yell out, voice muffled as your face is pressed against the floor. “Shit” is all Kie says before rushing to your side and pulling you up. The commotion in the living room draws the attention of John B and JJ who has been searching for a lighter in JJ’s unofficial room. They appear from out of the room and find you still on the floor but slowly getting up with Kie’s help. JJ immediately at your side and inspects you for any cuts of scratches. 

“Hey” you smile after sitting up enough to lean against the couch. “Was looking for you” you say using the palm of your hand to rub your temple where the couch had impacted you. John B and Kie have stood up and jumped into action by this point, going into the kitchen to grab an ice pack.

You stop rubbing your forehead and look up at JJ before pouting and asking “can you kiss it better?”. “Of course baby” he says planting a gentle kiss on your temple. “Anywhere else?” He quicks with a smirk on his face. You nod and point a finger at your right cheek. He shakes his head and kisses your cheek, and then pulls away again. This time you point to your lips and lean forward, he happily obliges. It was meant to be a quick peck but you immediately lean into him and rest your hands in his t-shirt, bunching up the material in your fist making sure you can hold him as close as possible as you kiss him passionately. He begins to move his hand from your shoulder down to your waist before John B enters the room again, 

“Guys come on” he says and JJ pulls away from you. He’s smiling sheepishly as John B hands him an ice pack for your injury. 

“Can’t resist” you say, directing it at Kie and John B with a smile on your face.

“We know” they say in unison. 

-

You’re finishing up grabbing lunch with Kie and heading back to her parked car. She’d been telling you about this surfer girl she had met over the weekend that really piqued her interested. You were happy for her, everyone seemed to be finding their significant other and you were just waiting for Pope to meet someone now. 

As Kie began to describe what she and the girl talked about, your phone rang and you politely held up a finger in her direction and answered, “hey JJ what’s up?”. “What are you doing right now?” He asked, you could hear some shuffling before you heard him lay onto a mattress. “I’m with Kie, everything good?” “Yeah just wondering if you wanted to-“ JJ was cut off as your phone slipped out of your hand and onto the floor of Kie’s car. “Wait babe repeat that I dropped you” you yelled so that he could hear you as you reached for your phone. “I was just calling to see if you wanted to have phone sex” he replied casually. You must have accidentally pressed the speaker when it fell and now you frantically moved in order to grab your phone. 

“Fuck JJ you were on speaker” you spoke into the phone and looked over to find Kie trying her best to suppress her laugh. You could feel your face heat up and you debated on what to say next before deciding, “call me in two hours” and hanging up. 

“Kinda wish I hadn’t heard that” Kie finally speaks up. You remove your head from your hands and look at her, “i really had no idea he was going to say that”.

- 

“All I’m saying is that robbing rich people isn’t wrong, it's like restoring balance,” JJ argues, removing his snapback to put it back on, backwards this time. 

“It’s too dangerous” Kie tries to explain, Pope and John B already agreeing with her. 

“Eh I don’t know, it could be fun?” You side with JJ. The day had been unfulfilling, you all could use an adventure. “You’re dating JJ, obviously you’re going to choose him” Pope says, gesturing between you and JJ. You scoff, “I am my own person, my opinion doesn’t rely on him” you reply. 

“Look how about this? We just check the place out, don’t do anything until we know it's risk-free?” you reason. The group doesn’t speak up and seem to be weighing the decision, you take this opportunity to glance at JJ and wink at him. 

“Fine, but only to check the place out” John B says with reluctance, tossing the keys to JJ. He catches them with ease as everyone begins to trickle out the door. 

“Shotgun” you call out, siding your sunglasses on as you make your way towards the passenger door. 

“No, no, no” Kie says, walking at your pace to try to beat you to the door. “Woah what why!” you reply speeding up to pass her. “Because anytime you two are up front, you’re just making eyes at each other and we have to listen to your music” Pope says getting settled in. “He's right” John B states and then shrugs. 

“You guys kiss at every red light, it's boring” Kie says fake gagging. 

“Oh I’m sorry, next time we’ll french to switch things up” You say, turning around to face Kie, Pope, and John B. All groaning, you turn around and reach to intertwine your hand with JJ’s. 

-

“When JJ isn’t here, it's my responsibility to look good and be reckless” You state before downing 3 vodka shots in a row. 

“He didn’t leave, he just went inside to grab more ice” John B says trying to stop you from taking a fourth shot. You swat his hand away but in the process slip the shot on the sand. “Fuck someone pour me another one before he gets back” you pout and look to your friends. 

“Before who gets back?” You hear from behind and see JJ waiting for your response. 

“Nobody. Did you find what you needed?” you say quickly attempting to change the topic. Although you had just taken the shots, your body begins to feel warm. It was the beer you had pre-gamed with mixing along with the vodka. “Nah I think I lost it” he says walking towards you. 

“I have one in my bag” you point him towards the direction of the bag, and allow him to search through your belongings. Finally, he fishes out a lighter. “When did you start smoking?” Pope questions. 

“I don’t” you simply state, taking a huge swing of the drink JJ had given you to hold. “I carry it for when JJ forgets or loses his” you say again, handing JJ back his cup. 

“Aw that’s kinda romantic” Kie says, the blunt she had split with a few others finally starting to take effect on her. 

“Yep, I’m the responsible one” you declare with a smile plastered on your face and the alcohol in your system causing you to slouch against JJ’s shoulder for support. 

“Says the one two drinks away from blacking out” JJ teases, swiping back the drink you had somehow taken out of his hand again. “You’re just afraid to drink like me, because you don’t want to admit I have a higher tolerance” you argue, lifting your head to face his and squinting your eyes towards him in a challenging manner. 

“Is that so?” he questions. “Yes” you say.

“Oh you’re on” He says, downing what was left of the cup and reaching to pour himself a shot. 

“Great we’re gonna have two passed out people we have to carry home” Kie sighs. 

a/n: Thanks for reading! I will post more soon, I have about 3 prompts waiting to be written in my notes app. 

[twooneztaylorthecat]

When Nobody's Around - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N. There was a clip of the song 'Better' by Khalid on TikTok, and that inspired this story. Anyway, continue.

It was dark in the area, December twenty-fourth. The wind howled loudly as it whipped through the tree branches and sent snow spraying everywhere. The air was freezing cold, and the ground was icy. Even snow boots couldn't dull the slip from anyone who tried to walk on it. It was difficult not to tense up against the chill, or even not to zip up the jacket around one's shoulders, but no matter what you did you just couldn't get warm. You kept your head bent and plowed on through the snow. The coffee in your Starbucks cup made your palms hot, but you liked it that way; you didn't like the cold anyway. Adam Stanheight was following closely behind you, along with your best friend. You guys had a mixed friendship, or so it seemed. You knew what you had with your bff, you didn't need to question it. But your relationship with Adam was quite another thing entirely, it dissatisfied you, dismayed you. Often times he'd play off his flirting to be nothing more than jokes, and it hurt you a little. His mixed signals were confusing you. You clutched your tote bag closer and sped up your speed. Getting home was your biggest priority right now; you felt so flustered being around Adam. It made your heart beat faster and your stomach swim chaotically.

In your head you knew there was something there, or at least you wished there was, but you couldn't stop yourself from feeling it. You rounded the corner very urgently. You were in the lead, Adam and your friend had been talking earlier about politics, you didn't want to discuss that. But unfortunately for you, your friend called out to you. "What's your opinion?"

You, who had not been listening, turned around slowly and looked at them dumbly. You could not remember what they had been talking about before. "I wasn't paying attention," you admitted.

"Oh, come on. I was asking-"

"-No, no," you interrupted. "Right now I have other things to worry about than what side of the political spectrum you are on. I'd like to keep our friendship strong before Christmas, then we can ruin it."

"Fine. Then at least tell me this. What side of the 'romantic relationship' are you on? You know, with..." Your bff elbowed Adam in the ribs.

Adam made a face. " 'Romantic relationship'?" He repeated skeptically. "What the fuck are you on about?"

You turned back around and started to cross the street, your heart heavy. The light, which was blurred by the snowy fog, changed red suddenly, and you were pulled back by a strong force. It wasn't like you could have saved yourself, but you did appreciate the thoughtfulness. Not to mention, there weren't any moving vehicles out right now to plow you over, so it didn't really matter. "Thanks," you mumbled, and pulled your arm out of their grasp, you expected it to be your friend.

"Hey. Where are you going?" The voice sounded right behind you. It was quiet and soothing; it sent chills up your spine; like it always did. Apparently the political conversation was over now.

"A-Adam..." you gasped. "I... wasn't expecting you to be there."

"No?" Adam pressed up against your side. "You seem cold. Mind if I warm you up?"

You gagged, feeling embarrassed, and tried to get away, but Adam held you close. "Where are you going?" He asked again.

Your best friend came up to you. "Yeah. No romantic relationship here. What's up love-birds?"

Adam released you. "Tch," he scoffed. "What are you talking about? We're just friends. Can't I care for my friends?"

You stared at him miserably. "Christmas at my house?" You asked, changing the subject.

Your friends looked at you cluelessly. "Oh sure," your bff agreed. "I won't have to rearrange any plans if we go to your house."

"You live in the same place," you muttered.

"That's the point..." your friend grimaced.

Adam had fallen behind you both while you discussed this. He seemed quiet now, and lost in thought. You wondered what he was thinking about. You wished he was talking with you again. You wished he would try snuggling again.

The discussion wasn't a long one, and it ended right as you reached the other side of the road. "So, Adam," you hummed out quietly. "You need anyone to help with baking? I know you said you would like it if someone came over tomorrow morning."

"Only one someone..." Adam winked at you, and laughed. "In all honesty, I just want the company. It gets lonely over there."

"So... No baking?"

"What would you guys be baking?" (Bff's name) asked. "Not like Adam is having anyone over. Not like he CAN. Everyone would be falling on their asses."

Adam muttered something under his breath, then spoke up, "No, you're right. I... will do the baking myself." He chuckled. "That is, if I stop taking pictures of it first."

"You're not planning on doing any baking, are you?" You realized.

"I... was? Actually."

"Pffft." Your best friend sounded dubious.

You yourself were a little doubtful too, but you had the sense to shut up about it. You blew out a breath, which made your bangs fly into the air.

"You look kinda cute when you do that," Adam commented and held your hand lightly.

You blushed, waiting for his infamous 'jk' or stupid reasoning as to why he was 'pretending to flirt' with you, but it never came. You exchanged glances with you friend, but alas Adam caught it, and let go. "I should really stop doing that, shouldn't I?"

You huffed. "I... like it..." You said inaudibly.

Adam had heard you, but he chose not to respond. He started talking about the snow instead.

Fuck, you thought.

Faulkner walked you both to your condo, and held the door open. You were the first inside, but didn't get too far. Adam called you back as your best friend stalked past you to the stairs. You fell back and leaned against him. What was going to happen now? Adam got all cozy with you when you guys were alone, and now that your friend had left, you wondered what was going to happen. "Hey, Y/N?" He looked directly into your eyes. He never flinched or gazed away, but his body language said he was nervous.

You felt obliged to ease his stress. "Yeah? Are you cold, why don't you come in for a minute and warm up?"

"No," Adam said boldly. "I... just wanted to..." He looked away finally. Your heart nearly stopped in anticipation. "Well, you see... I've been thinking about this for a while. Ever since October."

You stared at him silently, hoping he wasn't psyching you up just to joke with you again. "What is it?" You asked in irritation. "Are you playing with me again?"

"What do you mean by that?" Adam didn't seem to understand that you were referring to his 'fake flirting.' Honestly, sometimes you thought that he was completely unaware that he did it. Or maybe he simply pretended to be innocent?

"I'm not kidding around right now, I'm being serious. Here's the deal. I-I wanted Christmas at my place, if that's alright with you. I don't mind if you bring

(Bff's name,) But... Yeah."

Your stomach felt hollow after hearing that. Whatever you had been expecting was entirely not up for debate. You were simply 'friend-zoned', at least it felt like it. You thought about his words for a short moment, then stared at him questioningly. "Will your apartment be clean enough?" It was a joke, but not really. Adam was notorious for have a messy living quarters.

"Haha," Adam said sarcastically. "I cleaned it yesterday... well enough, that is..."

You nodded halfheartedly, still feeling disappointed. "Sure. I'll tell (Bff's name,) the change of plans."

"Yeah," Adam agreed.

It was awkward after that. Adam stayed in the doorway, and you kept the door open. Neither of you knew what to say after that, but you didn't have the heart to close the door and leave him there. It was so intense that you could feel heat rising to face in the cold forty degree (Fahrenheit) weather. Snow was starting to fill up the inside. "I guess you should go?" You didn't want to be rude, but asking it instead of saying it didn't help the bluntness of the sentence.

"Um..." Adam shrugged. "I was wondering something else..."

You looked at Adam in disbelief. In the fifteen minutes standing in the cold, he didn't think to bring this up? "Well, alright then. Any time would be... perfect." You noticed for the first time, how fidgety he had become. You'd never seen him like that before. Something else was on his mind, you knew him well enough to know that. "Go on," you encouraged.

"Why don't you come to my place for the night?" Adam asked unexpectedly. He got straight to the point, you liked that. He added clumsily, "Unless... Uh, you're busy... in the morning? I understand, you know. Of course I understand. Um... Y-Yeah, I just- I wanted to make sure you knew the invitation was there."

You smiled shyly. Having Adam stumbled over his words was a little bit cute. And then you realized what he had actually asked you. Wait a minute!? This couldn't be real! Stay the night with Adam Faulkner Stanheight!? Who could turn THAT down? Not Y/N. Definitely not Y/N. "Okay," you agreed politely, suddenly feeling self-conscious. You ran your hands over your clothes quickly, trying to smooth them out. But Adam didn't care about the wrinkles in your shirt, he just wanted you with him. He pulled you outside again, the chill biting you immediately. You huddled up next to him, trying to get warm.

Maybe this time it would be different? Maybe he'd snuggle with you?

But Adam was not as observant to his surroundings. He led you to his car, which was parked beside the road.

"What's with the car, Adam? We live close enough, you know," you joked.

Your companion only scowled at you as he snapped, "I was at a client's house when you called. And I decided not to leave the car here on the way home."

You sat down in the passenger's seat happily. Adam, of course, took the driver's seat, and as he started up the car the radio blasted you guys unexpectedly, hollowing out each one of your ears. Instead of turning it off, Adam just turned it down. He seemed much more laid back now that it was just the two of you.

In the silence, however, you were able to pick up what song was currently playing. It was Better by Khalid, and this surprised you. You didn't usually listen to this artist very much, but the radio seemed to love playing this song in particular. You hadn't been expecting it to come on while you were in Adam's car though.

Due to the quietness you could hear the words now. You'd never really listened to them before, but now that you could hear them, you felt suspicious.

"Say we're just friends, but I swear, when nobody's around. You keep my hand around your neck, we connect, are you feeling it now?-"

Adam rolled down a window suddenly, cutting off the next part.

You raised an eyebrow, thinking to yourself. Why the hell am I relating to this song so much? No wait, an even better question is, why would it come on the radio when I'm in the car with Adam? It doesn't add up right.

Almost instinctually, you asked, "D-Did you do this on purpose?" You hadn't meant to blurt it out. In fact you usually were pretty good about thinking about what you were going to say or do before actually performing it. This was a rare scenario.

Humiliation engulfed you as soon as the words left your mouth. You rolled your window down hurriedly, trying to act like you hadn't spoken. It was all for naught.

"What?" Adam asked dully.

"I-uh..." you stammered for a minute, then quickly regained yourself. "Yeah. I was just wondering if you chose the song, or if it was the radio?"

"Why would I have chosen it?" Adam sounded confused. "There would be no reason for me to choose it."

"oh... You're right..." You stared out the window and let the wind blow into your face. It was cold but you didn't say it out loud. You did wonder though, how Stanheight managed to live through it. It was so cold it felt like it was burning your skin off. You closed the window again.

Adam pulled to a stop in front of his apartment. "Don't mind the neighbors," he warned. "They don't like newcomers."

"I know. We've had this discussion before."

"I know," Adam said regretfully. "But... I just... like to remind you."

As you both shuffled into Adam's apartment, you gazed at the floor. He told you he'd cleaned up yesterday, and it showed. The normal empty boxes, or bits of laundry, had been taken care of, as well as the large stacks of photographs laying around the place. Adam was nothing if not passionate about his job, and that made you happy. It still amazed you to be able to see the wooden floor beneath your feet, and you desperately tried not to notice the counter, on top of which was an ashtray, which was piled with cigarette ends. The scent of cigarette smoke was thick, definitely fresh, but... you didn't mind it really.

Well, that was a lie. You did mind it, a lot. But that was the thing, that smell reminded you of Adam, so... you didn't mind it THAT much. Come to think of it, having the scent of smoke remind you of someone was probably not a good thing. Not for you or Adam. In fact, Adam probably had it worse. Imagine hearing someone say that the scent of smoke reminded them of you. That didn't seem like a positive thing to hear.

You shuddered at the thought.

"Come sit down over here," Adam said from the couch. "Sorry about the... Everything... I did try to keep the windows open but... it was way too damn cold. And I guess I couldn't stop... If you know what I mean?"

You did. You could understand completely.

Gently, you sat next to Adam, crossing your legs over each other delicately. It was warm in here, or was it Adam's body heat? You were sitting so close to him it was hard to tell. "I'm glad you came over," he said nervously. "You know... It's kinda stupid, but I only said I wanted your help with baking 'cause I didn't know how to invite you."

You smiled at him. "That's sweet. I would have done the same thing," you reassured Adam.

Adam slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulders. In a low tone, he said, "I didn't get you anything for Christmas. I'm sorry, I... Well, I mostly didn't know what kind of things you liked and didn't like."

"It's okay," you said. "I wasn't planning on having Christmas here until my parents' flight got canceled."

"So, you didn't get me anything either?" Adam's voice held some relief.

"Well, no," you tried to disappoint gently. You knew how it felt when you realized you weren't the only one who had done something a certain way. It was very reassuring. Maybe a bit too reassuring. You didn't want to crush his bubble so violently, but there wasn't any way to say it softly. At least, not one that came to mind. "I actually did think of something."

"Oh?" Adam didn't seem bothered, that was good. "What is it?"

You scoffed. "Like I'd tell you. You have to wait."

You had baked everyone some cookies this morning. That's what you were going to give your friends for Christmas. It was the first thing that came to your mind last second.

Adam leaned away from you hesitantly. "Well, there might be something that I thought of, too, but... I don't know... I guess I got scared..." He glanced at a nearby clock, and shrugged. "Is one fifteen AM close enough to Christmas?"

"I don't know," you said honestly. "I'd say, at least six AM."

"Fuck that," Adam exclaimed. "I... don't think I can wait any longer." He laughed nervously. It lasted for so long that you started to wonder if you had missed the joke.

"I'm sorry," you sighed. "I don't think... I follow."

Adam stared at the floor. "No, I'm sorry, that was unnecessary. I just got... scared?"

You narrowed your eyebrows sympathetically. "What is it, Adam?"

"Well... Will you be my significant other? The time we spend together means a lot, not to mention I enjoy your company a lot, too. Our dates have been nice... I know I should have asked you long ago, but... I don't know... I couldn't get up the courage..."

You smiled, but it was only out of uncomfortableness rather than actual happiness. You had no idea if he was playing with you or being honest with you. "Uh... Heh. You're joking, aren't you?"

"No," Adam gasped. He looked flabbergasted. "Why... What makes you ask that? I wouldn't joke about something like this."

Oh, right, you thought dryly. Just everything else about our relationship.

Out loud you said quickly, "Nothing." You regretted doubting yourself. It just made this situation very embarrassing. You felt the need to clarify your answer now. You didn't want to leave Adam hanging after such a significant question. "Well, Adam. The answer to your question is yes! I thought you were never gonna ask me. Well, actually, I thought you were bullshitting me the entire time."

"I didn't go about it the right way," Adam admitted. "That's my fault." He pulled you down so that your head was on his lap, and started to comb his fingers through your hair. "Merry Christmas, Y/N," he murmured. "That's my gift to you."

You inhaled deeply, feeling a strong wave of affection flood you. You had no idea anyone could feel so much emotion at once. It awed you. Gazing at the ceiling you felt your heart swell up. It beat in your chest heavily, loudly, nervously, but you felt soothed at the same time. And in this exact moment, you had good feelings. Maybe it was too soon to tell, however something in your gut told you that you were going to have a long, successful, future with Adam. "Wow," you hummed out quietly. "Christmas is going to be a hell-of-a-lot different this year." Adam didn't stop brushing your hair. You yawned and smiled. "But I can't wait for it."

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK BE CONCEPT- EXTENDED ANALYSIS

ANON: Hey Goldy, so I want to ask, what makes you look at one moment and decide the tension in there is nothing but then in another moment you claim Jikook are having issues? I ask because of the conclusions you drew on the photoshoot video when you said they were fighting but in two other instances where we can all clearly see that the mood between Jikook is tense like Jimin's mood in the Be Concept Clip and the other interview you have said it's nothing. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, I just want to understand your thought process if you can walk me through it. It's ok if you don't respond. I love your posts regardless. Keep it up.

Thanks for your question.

I think I try my best as much as possible to share my thought process on why I reach certain conclusions and in instances where I do not have much time to delve deeper into a conversation I state an NB indicating I would be talking further about that particular topic later on?

I think the first thing I can point out to you right off the bat in regards to your question is that we may most likely be having different understandings of tension as pertains to shipping simply because we ship Jikook in different ways.

Again, I do not mean to say my perspective is superior or that someone else's is inferior. I'm just saying we may be having different views on the topic based on the differences in our shipping styles.

To me tension is not just a sense or feeling or mood. It is one of the metrics I employ in assessing whether or not a ship is real- stay with me.

In my experience, while people may be good at hiding a relationship, they can never hide the intimacy of the relationship or the stress of keeping that relationship a secret. Secrets are stressful to keep and they leave stress trails in their wake. It's as simple as that. If any ship is real in BTS you will see its stress marks.

It's not easy standing there, watching your man's nipples being played with, or having another man grope your intimate partner for entertainment purposes while you stand there smiling for the cameras- you can smile, but it's going to be fake.

It's not easy hearing how your man sneaks into another man's shower to watch him bathe and compliment the size of his dick.

It's not easy hearing how you can't stand next to your man in a line up while another person takes that position even if it's just for work.

It's not easy pretending not to love your man, while watching everyone else love on him. It's not easy being told what you can do and not do with your partner much less by your own peers.

It's not easy hiding your love and affection for the person you love, holding yourself back from kissing them, or hugging them or doing any of the intimate stuff you are so used to doing with them- not when you have to be around them all the time.

It's not easy having cameras shoved in your face during your alone, private time with your man, when you are watching them on giant screens and they are right there next to you but you can't hold them- please listen to JK's demo Delcacomania which he released on his birthday last year and you will understand why he cried when JM flew from Paris to see him on his birthday. I cried too.

My point is, it's really not easy keeping a relationship a secret within the same work space as your partner. It's not as easy as other shippers make it seem. That shit is stressful and stress begets tensions and tensions begets conflicts- especially if there are other people attached to the parties in the relationship.

A secret gets heavy before it gets easy but you can never erase the stress that comes with hiding that secret especially not in a group as diverse in personalities as BTS. There are bound to be clashes, there are bound to be slip ups- moments where the fourth wall is breached and many others.

Stress is usually one of the first indicators of people keeping anything a secret. I've been called toxic for this, but I pay a lot of attention to conflicts and tensions within the group dynamics regardless of the degree of that tension because that conflict to me is a sign of stress.

I can tell you for a fact, any ship that is kumbaya in BTS is not real. Any ship whose existence doesn't stress out the group dynamics is a ship made in Disney heading for Never-land. Conflict and tension is a sign of stress and stress is a sign of keeping secrets.

That's not to say every single tension within the group, between Jikook or any other ship is as a result of them keeping that ship a secret. I think we can rule out all forms of contrived tensions at this point- you know which ones I'm talking about. Ain't no damn person up in there tryna steal nobody's man in BTS. The fuck?! Lmho.

Then there are those tensions that are as a result of mood swings, bad hair days, a call being delayed, a missed period- what? some of them have girlfriends, cough cough. Yea, Don't mind me.

Tension could be caused by anything really and so I think it's not enough to point out tensions but you have to try and ascertain the cause and effect of that tension to see if that tension is as a result of the stress that comes with keeping Jikook a secret or whether it is rather causing stress or going to cause a stress in their relationship dynamics-

C'mon, now y'all know if Jimin should thirst over another man that that is going cause a lot of stress not just for JK but the group as well because Jikook's mood affects them too.

Jimlous and Jeonlous are also signs of the stress that comes with keeping Jikook's relationship a secret. Let's be honest, if they were out all of those wouldn't be happening. People wouldn't cross their boundaries as much as they do.

From my perspective, both of Jikook are constantly reacting, poorly might I add, to their relationship being a secret. It seems to me they both hate what they have to do to keep eachother a secret within the group.

Jimin keeps JK a secret by acting as if he is available and JK keeps Jimin a secret by acting as if he doesn't want him- cold, nonchalant, and the way I see them I think it drives them both crazy. Lol.

Jimin doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to be kept a secret either. He just wants to be in that glass closet whereas JK seems to want to be out or completely hidden- he is not about that middle ground life, I feel. But that doesn't mean he doesn't make compromises especially where Jm is concerned.

Jimin is very conscious and highly judgmental of himself and I think he projects a bit of that into their relationship dynamics. As such he is constantly worrying about feedback, about how their relationship is affecting the group's dynamics.

You see this in the way he runs to JK upon the least complaints by any member about JK. Like when Jin complained about JK not choosing his bag over JM's, or when RM complained about JK buying a birthday present for only JM and not the others.

Or when RM complained about JK showing a song he had written to JM first before showing it to him in a VLive- now they didn't mention who they were talking about exactly but I knew from the moment JM started reciting Jikook's go to response for whenever they are called out for constantly being together, the whole 'we just so happened to be together in that moment,' that they were talking about JK. I don't know, I could be wrong.

JM is constantly trying to mitigate Jungkook's tendencies for exclusivity in their relationship especially where it conflicts with the groups interest even though that exclusivity and preferential treatment feeds directly into his love language.

It's that kumbaya in him I keep talking about. He would sacrifice their happiness for the groups. In my opinion.

But JK aint about that life. His entire philosophy is to pursue personal happiness first. So often, you would see him weaponizing their relationship secret against JM- trying to out him and shit. which in turn, ends up causing their relationship a ton of stress.

The best illustration I can give for this is when JK posted Ending Scene in early parts of 2019 and people started speculating Jikook had broken up because it was a break up song. JM immediately responded to that post with two posts, one about the Calico cat or something and the other pointing out how that song was just a cover. Jimin hates it when JK does something to create the impression that they are not together especially when they are together.

But at the same time, he would take a step back from their relationship, ask for space to try and nurture his other relationships with friends and family when he feels JK coming on too strong on him- like Jimin what do you actually want! You drive me nuts!

What I'm trying to say is that when you point out that JM looks tensed, you should be able to explain why you think he looks tensed.

And if you think his tension goes to the root of their relationship, then you should be able to predict the consequences of that tension too. Lol.

For me, I filter their tensions through their established patterns of behavior, their personalities and the actions that arise from their personalities- listen, the Maknae line can be very melancholic for no reason sometimes. Not sure what goes on but boy can they brood!

You have to consider all these things.

Tensions are obvious, obviously. Or maybe not. Most of them are quite easy to spot. Some not so much. They do go undetected if you are not hyper focused on them in certain moments when they happen or aren't aware of the context or subtext behind such moments.

Perspective is everything. We all don't have the same perspective. But no one holds the truth when it comes to Jikook. We can only speculate in a way that holds meaning to us.

Take for example Jimin and Jin's call during Jimin's VLive in March this year. There are a fraction of shippers who do not believe that that call was intercepted by JK at all simply because they do not see the subtext of that moment. Why would JK do that and not just reveal his identity, they ask. A valid point.

Then there are those who see JK interrupting that call as plausible because they believe they can differentiate between JK and Jin's call voice. Equally valid point.

Then there's me, who think yes that was JK's voice but goes further to try and anwer the questions raised by the first group as that, JK was pushing the boundaries both with JM and Bighit for barring him from doing a live with JM.

As such, I believe that call was an act of rebellion on his part to be allowed to Jikook with his man on the VApp. All that protest would then lead to a pivotal moment of him and JM having their VLive but under heavy surveillance. Lol.

Actions have consequences whether good or bad. Whether positive or negative. It's the cause and effect principle. Every effect has a predictable cause and every action has a specific and predictable effect.

If a moment of tension is created between them that is substantial, it is going to produce a subsequent substantial reaction. Law of Newton- I can't make this shit up. Lmho.

Another moment of this nature for me would be the VMin's unit interview filmed in February/March and released in June during Festa.

Now, if you were following the tensions between V and JK around that period, the context and subtext of that Interview would be easily apparent to you- V was just shading JK left right left. Bless him.

All that random flirting with Jimin- JM lost his Mochi cheeks, his pinky has grown were just code for JM is a grown ass man now so stop being possessive over him.

I have said Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother this year following the lows of late 2019 and especially around that time period.

For Jimin, that self assertion takes the form of checking JK's over possessiveness over him as that is a huge cause of tensions within the group throughout the years and something that I feel really bothered JM in the later half of 2019 and early half of 2020.

Why does it bother him when he used to be the one enabling that shit in JK? The members, keep up. Lol but not just the members. Remember I said earlier how, Jikook had come under heavy scrutiny with May 2019 to June this year. JM I feel wanted to keep things really on the low but JK- sigh.

Believe it or not, JK dumb whipped ass exposes Jikook more than JM does in their relationship. In the very least his possessiveness and chest puffing when anyone breathes near JM is one of the biggest tells.

We all know Tae is one of the members that have openly pointed out his displeasure with JK keeping JM to himself, cutting him off from his friends and all. Now we all know also that Jimin's pinky is a huge deal to JK. The moment he saw VMin comparing pinkies that's when he began screwing with us for real! Lmho.

JK made a big deal about JM's pinky and also seemed to have a thing for JM's Mochi cheeks too, calling him his Mochi and shit right in front of Tae's salad. Listen, TAE KNOWS. He knows!

So I found it interesting, how those parts of JM were specifically the things that V felt had changed about Jimin- I mean go back and look at Tae's facial expressions and smirk when he started talking about that. Lmho.

Then Jimin clapped back with that whole pinky line from their song Friends, pointing out how contradictory Tae was being. Lol.

To me that has always been one aspect of Tae and JK's ship dynamics that I enjoy so much. Tae is constantly teasing and shading JK and it's so subtle yet passive aggressive sometimes. you might miss it if you don't understand the context of him saying certain things in certain moments.

He don't spare JM sometimes either. Chileee. You never know with this man. Lol.

I mean did y'all catch his jab at JK during Festa when JK brought up the rain fight and he said, yea but that was a long time ago though- give it a rest. When I tell you, this man knew JK was trying to one up him over the whole dumpling fight thingy he had with JM. Lmho.

Then in that dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK and JM tried to eye fuck through the viewfinder? Let's not look into the camera he says so eloquently then side eyes JK- I LOVE THIS MAN!!! Please stay on their necks for me. They play too much! Lmho.

JK's possessiveness over JM is one of the causes of tension within the group I feel and JK have said his hyungs try to teach him not to be so possessive. Tae, RM and Suga to me are those hyungs who keep him in check the most, most times.

All that being said, just because there is tension present between them in a given moment doesn't necessarily mean it's as a result of a conflict between them as I have explained in past posts.

The inverse of this is similarly true. Truth is we can never know these things for sure. We can only speculate.

And personally, as I keep pointing out I have my own metrics for assessing these kinds of things. I get it wrong sometimes and when I do, I simply adjust my metrics and keep it pushing.

It's my own customized metrics, the lens through which I filter their interactions and make sense of their moments and It works for me. Isn't that what having an opinion is about?

I find, some of their interactions or moments follow an established pattern of behavior from their past moments and so it's much easier to call those.

For instance, you don't need a six foot page analysis to identify Jimlous or Jeonlous when you see it. You don't need a crystal ball to tell you when JK nibbles on Jimin's ear that Jimin is nervous. They did that in 2018, they did that in 2019, they've done that in 2020- to me that's become a pattern and when I see JK anywhere near Jimin's ear depending on the setting I will conclude JM is nervous and JK is trying to comfort him.

All that would be left for me to determine then is why Jimin is nervous at all in that moment and if I find he has no reason to be nervous in that instant my next assumption then would be that Jeon Jungkook is horny. I'm not kidding. Jk scares me. Lol.

Don't mind me.

He could be horny or he could be touchy, or he could be just expressing his affections through skinship. All of that is valid so I would employ an elimination approach?

I would rule out Jikook sexual foreplay in instances like that based on whether or not JK's gesture was a mission given to him by the staff based on Jimin's reaction to that gesture- He seemed pretty disappointed when he learned that JK bopping his nose was just a mission.

At times too I test out theories.

Yes, Jimin is an extrovert but does he freeze out JK when he is being an extrovert? He doesn't. We have seen him grabbing the Jeon titties in behind the scenes photoshoot, we have seen JK shove his butt in JM's dick face, we have seen 50 shades of JK grab JM's neck and dip his hand down his neck into his chest region to warm himself up. We have seen Jikook at behind the scenes photo shoots countless times. They gravitate towards eachother.

So if he is being his extrovert self with every body but JK, and JK is orbiting him but not interacting with him as they have done in the past then honestly I don't need my crystal ball to assume something is up between them. Why? Because Jikook's interactions behind the scenes aren't susceptible to false conditionings as compared to the intentional, exaggerated versions of their interactions on camera which sometimes can be laced with fanservice.

Jikook is not fanservice. Most of their behind cameras are moments of them breaching the forth wall. Like JM walking into JK's room without noticing there were cameras in the room. Their mood in there was not a performance and wasn't intended for the cameras and yet they were still close. Them taking a picture at the back of the track was equally that- unintended for the cameras.

What I'm saying is, we have seen Jikook when they are working on camera and when they are not working on camera and that mood in that behind the scenes photoshoot video doesn't fit either description of Jikook in those settings to me regardless of whether I know them personally or not.

What that moment fits into for me is a pattern of behavior that has been consistent with Jikook over the years. And I know people box JM into this whole extrovert personality but as I've said I don't believe anyone is completely extroverted or introverted.

JM to me has a certain degree of introvertedness in him and I've talked about this. He seems to have a bit of an avoidant personality too where he recoils into himself or shut people out in certain moments like how he says he drinks alone and becomes much quieter when he feels stressed out.

He doesn't open up as much about his problems it seems, he bottles it all up untill it eats him up- I'm glad he says when gets like that JK notices his mood and often comes around to do something that makes him laugh. Jimin does same for JK when he is feeling anxious- Please, Jikook is real ok?

So stop telling lies. Lol.

I think this avoidant personality becomes more prominent in moments when he fights or argues with people.

In Manila it was that moment where he noticed JK staring at him and so be moved his seat back to avoid JK's gaze. In VMin dumpling fight, it was him going out to drink with Suga after the fight- classic avoidant behavior. In Yoonmin it was him asking Suga not to touch him when Suga put his hand on his back even though Suga was sat right next to him.

In 2017- was it the behind scenes photoshoot for the billiard pool games? We saw JM literally running away from JK. Lol. He literally side-eyed the fuck out of JK, yeeted himself away from JK the moment he finished posing for the cameras. In that OT7 footage where V was playing with JK's hair, again, he yeeted himself out of there real quick at the end of filming- dude literally said deuces bitches. Lol.

And in the Jin birthday VLive 2019, he pulled away instinctively when JK's knee touched his. In all these instances, JM was keeping up the facade. Smiling and interacting like his normal slytherin/ honorary hufflepuff self but his instinctual reactions is what gave him away. In my opinion.

To me that is a pattern of behavior on JM's part. When he is angry or mad st someone- he avoids them. And it's harder if he has to be within the same space with such person.... I'll circle back to this.

All the times since 2015 when he's been 'mad' at JK he's done just that- Akekeking with everyone else, amplifying his extrovertedness, latching on to his 'clutches' within the group, all the while keeping JK at bay while stealing glances at him to see his reaction at the same time.

And when he notices how that's affecting JK- he literally smirks in satisfaction. Meet evil chim everyone- And I say this with love, he is vindictive as fuck. I mean this is the same person who didnt hesitate to kill Army in a game just for disobeying him- allegedly. Same person who said he would whoop his bandmates except of course for JK and force them to bow at his feet if he was ruler. Did y'all see Tae turning to check JM's reaction when JK made fun of his singing in run? Did you see his passive aggressive reaction to JK after that clowning?

Listen, we all should be scared of Park Jimin. He is sweet and all but fuck with him... I dare you. PJMs are gonna revoke my PJM membership are they not? Oh God! Lol

JK is similar to JM in this regard. He avoids when he is angry or edgy. Try touching him in that state and he is pulling away. He did it with Tae in the Dynamite MV behind scenes where Tae tried to touch him and he pulled away and the whole not wanting to hold hands with Tae at the KBS interview thingy- it actually broke my heart watching that bit. JK. Sigh. Will post and delete the Taekook video I am talking about as soon as I post this- out of respect for their shippers.

JK does the same to JM too sometimes when JM irritates him. Manila and also around On promo when they had that Alex Almanto whatever unit shoot- they were all having fun, there's a cut and suddenly he is pulling away when JM holds him, does the lip thingy, and glares at JM. He turns away to look at Hobi, which I just think he was trying to hide his expression from the camera lol- JM almost burst out into laughter and I nearly peed myself watching that bit- JK can be very petty sometimes. Lmho

He did the same in this controversial photoshoot. He was mad at both JM and Namjoon which explains the part he was dragging his feet when he was walking away from JM. It wasn't because he was waiting for Jimin. He was avoiding Namjoon who was walking ahead of him. In my opinion. And the part he stood with Jin and RM- JM did something hilarious JK giggled a little but turned immediately to Namjoon and when he noticed RM laughing too he stopped laughing. Then he did that thing were he put the fear of God in RM when RM stood close to JM. JK was so angry he forgot his manners when he bumped into Jin in that moment and again, like always. He looked away to avoid the scenery.

Now I don't know what had gone on there but I'm still trying to reconstruct that moment to figure it out. All I know is something went on involving those three and may be Tae too as I have pointed out in previous posts.

JM was mad at JK, JK was mildly mad at JM but heavily mad at RM.

All these things I've mentioned are patterns of behavior that have repeated over the years from my delusional point of view of Jikook's interactions and of their interactions as against the group dynamics.

Circling back to the Be concept clip and JM's mood in there, I gotta ask. Do you think Jimin's mood was as a result of the stress of keeping their relationship a secret in that moment?

It wasn't to me. Even after looking away from JK he went back to looking at JK again. When their eyes met he smiled a little. Whatever was going on with him had nothing to do with JK or their relationship. If it did, he would have been much more hostile than that and frankly JK wouldn't be sat there cheesing the way he was doing in that instance. His butt would have been on fire.

JM seemed- serene and peaceful to me. I actually enjoy him most in his moments of quiet like these.

RM's reaction to that Jikook moment however is an indication of stress to me. He seemed excited, probably wanted to play with his Jiminie but when he noticed JM had looked away his instincts was to check JK's reaction. Not anybody else, JK.

When he noticed JK was smiling at JM he dropped his hands and seemed a bit deflated. That deflation right there is one of the signs of the stress I'm talking about.

RM isn't just the leader he is their friend. Like V his bond with JM suffers from time to time due to our elephant in the room. I am often fascinated by RM and JM's friendship dynamics and would definitely love to have conversation about their dynamics.

I hope this answers your question?

Please keep supporting Jikook. Jikool is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

[anobscurename]

ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART IX — masterlist

concept: awkwardness was inevitable after the drunken birthday kiss you shared, but avoidance was near impossible given your living situation. confrontation comes when you help chris learn some lines for a romantic role he's pursuing. the slowest of slow burns. part ten of many

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: strawberries and cringey dialogue, aNgSt

author's note: can't believe we're on part 10 what the fuck i started this on wednesday—?

You had avoided him successfully for a little over three days when you finally ran into him again. You had been going for a perfect fourth, but in spite of all the space the house had to offer, there were only so many rooms you could duck into, and so many midnight snacks you could sneak into your room to sustain yourself as the hours ticked by.

Having lived with Chris for six months, you knew his schedule. It helped in your goal of steering clear of the awkwardness.

He never outright saw you, anyways, always catching you just as you disappeared around a corner or into a room.

The first day had been the hardest. Chris was a firm believer of confronting an issue head-on – best way for cohesive living – and so there were soft knocks on the door, mugs of coffee – cold by the time you finally thought it safe to leave the room without encountering him – left behind for you on the kitchen counter.

He had even texted you. Can we talk?

He had managed to corner you in the bathroom once. That was entirely inevitable, considering you both shared it.

You had been brushing your teeth when you heard the door handle turn and squeak, and you were quick to spit out the frothy toothpaste to call out a dismissive "occupied!"

"Oh, sorry," Chris had mumbled sheepishly before shutting the door again. But he didn't leave. "I... I really think we should talk about last night."

You rinsed out your mouth, hoping to let the running water drown out his voice.

Patting your mouth dry, you pulled open the door. Chris practically fell into you, having been leaning against the frame, weight balancing on the forearm he had propped up.

You looked up at him innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

And that was the end of that. He stopped trying so hard the day after, and when the third day came around, he had decided to give you your space.

You knew you were being entirely unfair on him, not telling him what was wrong, but at first, you didn't even know. It wasn't as simple as a touch of the shoulder, not as mundane as jealousy. You hated that you had thought it was jealousy, and shuddered at the very idea of Chris thinking it might be. You were not a jealous person by nature.

And then you realised what that feeling was that had plagued you since that kiss – that kiss that you could still taste on your lips when you closed your eyes at night. It was fear.

It was fear of not being good enough. But not only that, it was fear of rejection, fear of losing one of your bestest friends.

Fear of being homeless if things were to end badly, and given the circumstances, things weren't running smoothly as is.

You weren't naïve enough to believe in a happy ending. In the words of the great philosopher Jane Smith – played by the ever great Angelina Jolie – "happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet."

Fact of the matter was that the chances of the two of you making it were slim to none. You were both too different. Similar on a human level – Anthony would even say perfect – but different on almost every other. Financially, emotionally, physically. You couldn't contend with everything Chris had to offer.

You had served him drinks. You looked after his dog, his house, watered his plants. You lived in that home as his employee.

You weren't a pessimist. Only a realist. And realistically, you'd run the numbers and promptly concluded that while you'd ultimately fail as a couple, you'd soar as a friendship.

That was the final answer, come day four.

"Hey..."

You had stepped out of the sanctuary of your bedroom, only to see Chris stood at the kitchen counter, bent over something that grabbed his full attention. It was late at night, the rest of the lights in the house off, leaving only the warm glow of the kitchen lights. He looked up when you entered, a pained expression overcoming his features. "Oh, so we're talking now?"

You ignored the question, padding over to see what he was doing. The best way to continue on was to pretend that nothing happened. So that's what you did.

Reminiscent of a time before you knew what Chris' lips tasted and felt like, you easily hopped up on the counter beside him. You noticed the bags beside the front door, and curiosity got the better of you. "Where are you headed this time?"

His attention shifted back down to the manuscript that was before him. "I have an audition tomorrow morning in New York, I'm just going over the dialogue one last time before the flight."

The conversation was stilted, and so, to break the silence, you reached for a strawberry. There had been a plate of strawberries between the two of you, half eaten, stems brushed to one side. A playful slap on your hand halted your action, and you cocked an annoyed and inquisitive brow at Chris.

"Don't eat the props."

"I'm sure you won't miss just one."

"Well, it would be easier for me to learn my lines with someone else if you...?" He trailed off, the rest of the request piecing together in your mind.

"The things I'll endure for some food in this house," you jokingly groaned.

It was like his laugh shattered the awkwardness entirely, and suddenly it felt like normal again. And you realised how much you missed it. Missed being his friend.

He slide the manuscript over to you, telling you which character your were going to play. He had already memorised his lines, and was pensively watching as you skimmed over the dialogue.

"It's...?"

He chuckled sheepishly. "A romance, I know. If you don't want to–"

"It's okay," you said quickly. The guilt you felt for basically ignoring him the past few days with little to no explanation heavily outweighed your common sense. You just wanted to help him out – your way of apology. "From here?"

He nodded at the prompt you had your finger on, already shifting himself into the cocky persona of the character he was playing. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him pick up a strawberry, ready for his cues.

"It's a real shame nobody asked for your opinion," you read.

"I've had plenty of relationships," he shrugged, arrogant. "Makes me the authority on these types of things."

"Don't make me laugh," you chuckled. The film was by no means Oscar worthy, but it was a fun indie project, judging from the script. "I bet the longest relationship you've had is with that strawberry."

He looked down, contemplating it for the longest time while you flipped the page. This part was new, and as your eyes skimmed over it, you knew you'd made your fatal error. Guess that's where being a good person gets you.

Gentle hand on your cheek, he tilted your head to look at him. Making full eye contact, he bit into the strawberry. The perfect arch of pearly white teeth sank into it so slowly, you felt like time was frozen. "I don't know," he growled, licking the sweetness from his finger. "You can't fault a relationship when she tastes so good."

He plucked another strawberry from the plate, beckoning you over. You felt yourself lean forward, enraptured in his performance. But at what point did the line blur between acting and reality?

The touch of the strawberry against your lips was cold, fresh from the fridge. The script told you to reject him with a shake of the head, and without its guidance, you probably would've just dissolved before him. You denied him, whimpering a small "no."

“Open,” he commanded, voice authoritative but soft. His gaze was intense, eyes darkening as you slowly opened your lips to eat the offered fruit.

He watched your lips – a whispered “fuck” under his breath – and slowly threw the stem back onto the plate. His eyes never left your mouth.

And then his fingers came up to swipe the juice from your bottom lip before telling you to open again. You complied, but something in the back of your mind nagged at you: this wasn't in the script.

His finger slid easily into your mouth, smooth against your tongue, and you instinctively sucked on them gently, tasting the sweetness and suddenly he was ducking his head down, intent clear, and you just–

"Stop," you managed to get out, your lips so dangerously close to his that the feather light brush of your spoken words caused tingles to flow through you. The goosebumps were back, your skin cold, but body on fire. He withdrew, and you hated how your heart fell, plummeting to your stomach when he did. "We can't."

And then you explained to him why. And to his credit, he listened, didn't once try to interrupt or persuade you otherwise, and he understood.

He understood, because deep down, he knew you were right.

You explained it all, and at some point your eyes were stinging, but you didn't cry, and when it was all out, and what needed to be said was, he simply pulled you into his arms in a fierce hug.

Your breathing was ragged as you clung to him, hands bunching the fabric of his shirt. You never wanted to let him go. As a friend, of course.

And then he said his goodbye with a chaste kiss to your temple, and left, front door shutting behind him, bags in hand.

He left you alone to your thoughts, and the tears came tumbling after.

[lochrannn]

Fanfic: Premiere Threads

Read on AO3

Thanks @pepperf for the prompt “You look amazing tonight”!

I also snuck in “Dance with me.” which came in with a choice of prompts from @ohrackham. Thanks as well!

Summary:

The Hargreeves + Lila head to LA for a film premiere.

Low-level hijinks ensue.

Lila gets off her plane at LAX after sitting in the damn metal tube for nearly eight hours. It was only supposed to be a six hour flight but they were delayed on the runway and sat around for nearly an hour with nothing happening. Lila will admit that she's not the most patient of people at the best of times and she had got used to travelling by briefcase, taking her anywhere in an instant. On top of that, she is just absolutely over the vastness of this country. Having to fly six hours to get from one coast to the other is just excessive.

Yeah, she's not in the best of moods when she lifts her heavy bag and then her rolling suitcase off the luggage belt, but does take a little bit of satisfaction from the fact she accidentally (no really, she didn't mean to) hits the guy who roughly pushed past her to get to the belt first in the knee with the corner of her suitcase.

It doesn't take Lila too long to get from baggage collection to the arrival terminal and when she walks out through the sliding doors, she's a little surprised that she can't spot Diego right away waiting for her.

She'd texted him about the delay and he had her flight number, so she wonders why he's not around yet, she doubts he'd be willing to spend any more time than necessary in an airport. In fact, knowing that, she'd told him it wouldn't be necessary for him to pick her up, she could just got a taxi to their hotel, but he had insisted again when she talked to him on the phone yesterday.

He has been in a weird mood these past few days and with the upcoming premiere of the widely anticipated documentary about The Umbrella Academy, she can understand why.

Diego flew out to LA together with Klaus a few days before Lila as she had a job to finish up, but Klaus and Diego wanted some time to spend with Allison and Claire as they've become deeply fond of their little niece.

Luther, Vanya, and Five are scheduled to arrive tomorrow only just making it in time for the premiere. Vanya is tied up with some orchestra thing and both Luther and Five offered to travel with her. Lila was relieved that nobody asked why she wouldn't travel with the others. She loves her new family, she really does, but being trapped on a plain with all of them and having to go through airports and security checks with the three oddballs would have tested her admittedly limited patience a little too much.

As she's annoyingly too short to effectively look over the crowd that's caused a throng just outside the arrivals door, she starts to wander about weaving past hugging families and drivers with signs held up for their clients, and finally spots Diego sitting on a chair at the side of the hall.

She immediately notices three things about him. The first are the large, square, plastic-y orange rimmed sunglasses, which absolutely clash with the grey t-shirt and black jeans he's wearing. The second are the people with him; Klaus on the outside lounging in his chair, also wearing sunglasses, between the two brothers someone who can only be Allison, also in sunglasses, but the actress has apparently wisely decided to make herself as unrecognisable as possible and is wearing a big sweatshirt with a hood up over her head. The third thing Lila notices are the large take-away coffee cups they're all holding and she comes to the conclusion that they must be desperately hung-over.

The three of them spot her before she gets to them and get up, throw away their cups, while Klaus picks up a take-away tray with what must be a fourth coffee they got for Lila, and start making their way over to her. That's when she notices the thing she should have probably spotted right away.

There's an obvious difference to Diego and she feels her jaw drop a little when she notices. He's a little unkempt and his usual designer stubble could do with some tidying up, but all that is inconsequential compared to the glinting flashes that catch her eye on both his earlobes.

He's wearing earrings.

She's about to comment on that, but then she's swallowed up in their madness.

Allison and Klaus are arguing good-naturedly as they come up to her. Allison takes the rolling suitcase from Lila, Diego takes her bag and swings it over his shoulder before heavily putting his free arm around her shoulders and tucking her into his side, while Klaus takes one of her now free hands, kisses it dramatically and then fills it with the remaining cardboard coffee cup.

All the while they do not stop squabbling to properly greet her, instead Diego has now got involved, siding with whoever he seems to think is winning.

“Long night?” she eventually directs at Diego, as the four of them make their way out to the taxi rank.

“Ugh, don't ask!” Diego answers with an exasperated chuckle.

“No, I'm definitely going to!” Lila counters with a pointed look at the side of his head.

“Fair,” Diego says as he lets go of her to put her bag in the taxi they've caught.

Once all her luggage is in the boot, they squeeze into the cab, Diego, Allison and herself on the back bench and Klaus in the front next to the driver.

Allison calls out an address that sounds vaguely familiar to Lila and they drive off.

“Where are we headed?” she asks no one in particular.

“My place,” Allison answers and then Diego adds, “All my stuff is still there.”

Lila nods at that and is about to say something else, when Klaus turns around in his seat and looks at her with a sly smirk, eyes peaking over the rim of his shades, and says teasingly, “So you're not gonna ask about the...?”, he flicks his own earlobe by way of explanation, and then waggles his eyebrows at Diego.

“Why? 's anything different?” Lila deadpans and hears Diego huff next to her, though whether it's in amusement or indignation she's not quite sure.

“Aw, we thought you'd have at least some opinion on the makeover we gave Crocodile Dundee over here. He's been fidgety all morning, wondering what you'll make of it!” Klaus almost whines and earns himself a grumbled “Fuck off, Klaus!” from Diego, “I think he looks dashing. Like a pirate!” Klaus chuckles and earns himself a more emphatic, “Fuck off, Klaus!” and “Leave him alone!” from Allison.

Lila decides that, firstly, there's no point in even attempting to match their energy, so she lets go of the idea and relaxes a little at the thought that she can just let herself be swept along as she's far too tired to come up with a better plan herself, and secondly, she's going to ask the only halfway rational adult in this cab, bar herself and hopefully the driver, to explain the situation. So she turns to Allison and asks, “You gave him the earring?”

Allison takes off her sunglasses, revealing dark shadows under her eyes, and Lila ends up feeling sympathetic even though she knows that tired look is very much self-inflicted.

“I know I shouldn't say this but he was asking for it. Like actually, literally!” Allison begins explaining with an exasperated sigh. “He said he'd always wanted earrings, that the only thing holding him back was his fear of needles, and we were pretty drunk already and you know Diego, he's a lightweight, so when he passed out on the couch, we thought we'd do him a favor...” she trails off a little sheepishly.

“All we needed was alcohol and some ice, which we had plenty of, a needle, and a potato!” Klaus counted off the items on his fingers with a flourish.

“That sounds unsanitary,” was all Lila could think to say.

“You're one to talk,” Diego finally piped up, “you cauterized my stab wound with a soldering iron and then rode me the next day...” but he doesn't get much further as he is interrupted by Lila slapping him in the chest, Allison mumbling “gross” and Klaus cackling delightedly.

“So this is how a bunch of unsupervised thirty-two year olds behave?” Lila asks the occupants of the cab at large, mostly to steer the conversation away from her sex life, to which Allison corrects her “I'm thirty-four.” and Klaus chimes in more or less at the same time, “I'm thirty-six, actually!”

“Great roll models to your little brother, then,” Lila teases with a big grin and pointedly ignores Diego's indignant “Hey!”.

They spend the rest of the taxi ride with much the same amount of back and forth arguing, but somewhere within that is Diego's explanation that really he'd always wanted to get earrings but went for his piercing first as any kind of jewelry outside of a uniform would not have fit police academy regulation and then he had never got up the courage to go anywhere close to a needle again. He hardly wants to admit it, but he is apparently kind of grateful to his siblings for taking matters into their own hands.

Lila takes this information in in her stride. It's his body and the earrings suit him, so she tells him as much and has mixed feelings about the way he visibly relaxes next to her when she says that. It has it's perks that he's so desperate for her approval, but sometimes it makes her a little concerned.

They end up having lunch delivered at Allison's and by late afternoon everybody is exhausted, so Lila and Diego take their luggage and get a taxi to the hotel Diego was meant to check in to three days ago, but he had ended up crashing with his sister instead. Lila hopes they will have a room available.

They do, and the two of them barely manage to drop their bags on the floor before they tumble on to the bed, not even bothering to pull back the sheets, only stripping off the top cover that Lila is always a little suspicious of in hotels, and falling asleep fully dressed.

----

The next day is mostly a whirl and Lila is glad that herself and Diego basically only had a quiet dinner the night before after their nap and then went straight back to bed, as she thinks they would be having a hell of a shitty time if they'd been sleep-deprived.

It's not that the day isn't enjoyable, it's just a lot.

Luther, Vanya, and Five arrive in LA and the siblings all congregate at Allison's.

Lila is fascinated to see the amount of work that goes into just maintaining a brand for something as simple as a documentary premiere, as there are also half a dozen professional make-up artists and stylists on the scene who are wrangling the Hargreeves siblings with impressive authority. Lila is offered a very elaborate evening gown but decides on a colourful mini-dress with high neckline and exposed shoulders, and by the time they head out to the theatre where the premiere and a subsequent Q+A session is going to take place – they've decided that only Allison, Vanya, and Klaus should be involved in that, as Luther would feel to awkward up on stage, Diego had to admit that he was quite certain he wouldn't get a word out anyway, and Five wasn't part of the film as he is still officially missing – they are all dressed to the nines.

At the afterparty there's still press milling around and some photographers get the Hargreeves sans Five lined up to take a bunch of pictures while Lila and Five watch from a bit of a distance.

“You feel left out, little man?” Lila asks Five.

He looks at her pointedly and then back at his siblings being arranged into good poses by Allison and unconvincingly says, “Not really.” Then he turns back to Lila and asks her, “Do you?”

“Nah,” she replies with the same lack of conviction Five had managed. Then she picks up her whiskey soda and switches it with the ginger ale that's in front of Five, as she knows he hasn't been able to get anything more boozy than apple cider – a non-alcoholic drink in this part of the world, Lila has learnt from an irate Five when she didn't quite understand his complaint – and receives a grateful nod from Five for her efforts.

Before he can even take a sip, they are called over by Allison, who explains that she's wrangled one of the photographers who she has a good working relationship with into taking pictures of all of them – not to publish, just for their own use.

Lila squeezes in between Allison and Klaus and doesn't mind that Five subsequently squeezes in between Klaus and herself. They've come a long way from trying to tear each other to shreds in the sixties.

When they finally disperse to go enjoy the party, Lila feels a hand wrap around her arm and Diego whisper in her ear, his breath ghosting over her exposed shoulder, “Dance with me.”

She doesn't answer, instead she takes his hand and pulls him along to the small dance floor near the DJ. She swivels around and lets herself be pulled in close by Diego and they start dancing to the lively music.

When she gets a chance, she leans close to his ear and tries not to shout, but says loud enough to be heard over the music, “You look amazing tonight!”

And he does. He's wearing a terra-cotta coloured suit with a white vest underneath and Lila really likes the changeup from his usual blacks and greys. But her favourite detail is the heavy chain that one of the stylists, in a stroke of genius, got Diego to put around his neck, and the combination of the vest's low neck-line exposing his chest hair and the cold metal is really doing a number on her sanity.

“Yeah?” Diego asks a little breathlessly. She barely hears him, rather guesses what he says from his open and slightly bashful expression.

She nods at him with a smile, then wraps her fingers around the chain and uses it to pull his face down towards hers and kisses him soundly.

When she pulls away there's a hungry look in his eyes and so Lila decides to make things worse by pulling on the chain a little harder now so she can get to Diego's ear without having to get up on tip-toes, and says evenly, “I think I could get quite the good use out of this,” and jerks the chain once more for emphasis.

To her delight her antics get the desired response as Diego growls at her words, bites her lightly on the jaw, which makes Lila yelp, and then surprises her by dipping her deeply, and with his nose touching hers, says in a low rumble that sends a shiver down Lila's spine, “You should know better, babe, than to say shit like that if you're not going to follow through with it!”

To Lila's annoyance he doesn't kiss her but rather pulls her back upright and spins her out, and Lila's reminded that they're technically still dancing. When she comes back close to him she drags a finger down his chest and says into his ear in the most sultry voice she can manage, “Oh, I'll follow through with it, don't you worry!”

They spend the rest of the night dancing and flirting with each other and drinking with the rest of the Hargreeves.

And when they get back to their hotel room, Lila makes good on her promise.

[1252291]

*cracks knuckles* first of all thanks to the shades u don't know who i am.

honest opinion of you? never have i met a person in my life who has such a good heart and soul you can feel it radiate through the fucking internet. never. that's one point.

second. the way you write is spectacular and breathtakingly beautiful. there's never too much words or too little, you always find the right way to say something and make the reader feel the emotions they're supposed to feel. no purple prose or longwinding sentences needed. sometimes it's just a single word and i feel my heart being ripped out of my chest. and shortly after the wound will be stitched back up - that's what you do with your words. breaking hearts and healing them. phenomenal.

third. my god your sense of justice. of what's good and right and how you fight for it. and how you laugh it off sometimes, like you're not standing in the middle of a battle field (metaphorically) and more like it's an everyday task for you. which it probably is, and i admire you for how you see the dark underbelly of the world and still laugh into its face and go "yea i'll stay right here because people need me".

fourth. your honesty. how when someone asks your opinion on something you will tell them. but never in a rude way, never like a snob. that's how i know you're an amazing person.

fifth. your good taste in literally anything. music, films, books, anime. i know that when you recommend something, it's worth looking into. once again proving the value of your opinion.

all in all: when i think of you i think of the shire. or of a train ride home after an amazing trip. of melting ice cream because we're too busy talking instead of eating it. of bubblegum (somehow, don't know why) and long movie nights.

i think of happiness and peace and a sense of freedom most people have forgotten about.

love u.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME I’M GONNA SAVE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. ABOUT TO PRINT IT OUT AND PUT IT ON MY WALL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. bury me with it. let the sweet sweet earth consume me and this ask. 

I love you so much. I know exactly who this is. Mostly because you came SCURRYING INTO MY DMS SAYING NOBODY’S GONNA KNOW WHO IT IS. You’re also hiding under Bertholdts dick rn. Thanks to you I know how to actually pronounce his name. I play that audio SOMETIMES JUST FOR FUNSIES BECAUSE I LIKE THE WAY U SAY REINER IN ACTUAL GERMAN!! 

okay i love u so much i’m gonna SMOOCH U 

[fruityoosung]

alter ego

pairing : wonwoo x reader

rating : fluff-ish???? lowkey promiscuos

trigger warning : tattoos, substance usage, wonwoo being hot

“choi y/n you’re with jeon wonwoo” the monotonous deliverance from the TA stemmed a sigh that left your lips subconsciously. you turned your head to the right and a steely, dark and unwavering pair of brown eyes met yours. jeon wonwoo, the quiet, dismissive but very intelligent classmate of yours stared into you for a couple seconds before turning back towards his own assignment on his laptop. you merely nod your head to nothing before the TA dismissed the class, causing the flock of students in the history lecture flee from the lecture hall with grace, ready to end their day or attend their next class. some students hung behind to discuss the matters of the assignment with their designated partners and you decided to do the same.

you took your own sweet time packing your laptop into your backpack before a tall, looming figure casts a shadows upon you. you finally had a clear look of him whilst before your eyesight were betraying you. he’s the typical, lowkey stand off, quiet but very attractive young man, a character you often stumble upon at some point of your life. most times, it was more annoying than attractive to you because people like him are very contemptuous and outrageously pompous. you shot up from your seat and stood in front of him, waiting for him to talk to you first since you didn’t want to leave a bad impression towards your project partner.

“we can work on the project at the uni’s library. is tomorrow afternoon okay for you?” he asked, you didn’t realise how deep his voice actually goes. with the thin-rimmed glasses resting upon the bridge of his nose and the cashmere knitted, cream coloured sweater he was wearing, his voice was very uncanny to hear.

“tomorrow afternoon is fine, i’ll e-mail you the materials and we can work from there.” you replied, it was uncomfortable to you while he stood inches away from you and actively studying your face. he nodded and gripped the strap of his backpack before walking away. you did not know how to feel, you cannot deny his attractiveness and the stroke of heat that travels through your body as he stood close towards you.

this should be fun right?

you waited at the table near the windows with your laptop opened in front of you. you’re currently sorting through the materials and crafting a rough draft of your part of the assignment. wonwoo wasn’t late, you were just very early since the professor of your last class couldn’t make it to the lecture. you didn’t realise the time has passed as you typed through your rough draft until the sound of the wooden chair striking against the floor broke you out of your flow of thoughts. you immediately looked up and saw him sitting down directly across from you. being the somewhat inviting person you are, you decided to acknowledge his presence.

“hi, did you have class prior to this?” you asked, fingers resuming to type last few lines of your last rough draft. ever since the TA assigned the project to the both of you, you’ve never spoken to him verbally other than a few

e-mails regarding the materials and the submission of his rough draft for you to proof read and check. you were astounded to receive that e-mail since it was barely a couple hours since the TA had assigned it. of course, being one of the smartest kids in your class, his rough draft was nearly perfect and you only had to tweak a couple words to fit the theme better.

“i had a business management class.” he replied, his fingers began rapidly typing on the keyboard and it grew silent from there. it was almost distracting.

what’s more distracting is his goddamn features. you discreetly studies him as you finish typing the draft. the way the blue light from the screen reflected onto the lenses of his glasses made his eyes appear glittering almost had your heart lurching. the way he chews on his lips and furrowed his eyebrows as he reread the paragraph he wrote made you notice the warmth spreading on your face.

what the fuck? you swore. you’ll never have a chance with him, for all you know he probably hates your ass.

you shook off your thoughts and opened the google docs app and began typing the actual essay for the assignment. the lines above yours kept increasing and you tried your best to keep up.

what you didn’t notice was the sly smirk and the dark pair of brown eyes travelling towards your face, revelling at the sight in front of him.

he can get use to this

you were deep in your work before his alarm rang. thankfully, no one else was in the library since it was growing late into the evening. you looked up and meet his eyes again. wow, does he have really nice eyes.

“i need to go. i’ll make sure to send in the docs to you latest by tomorrow” he said before frantically packing up. you were dumbfounded. he’s probably late for something but you didn’t bother to ask since it is none of your business.

“it’s alright, this project isn’t due for another three days. you can take your time.” you replied softly, not wanting to stress him out.

“thank you y/n. i’ll see you soon.” he said in his deep tone that made your stomach do a flip. for some reason, you think your name sounds perfect coming from his lips.

since it is getting dark, you probably should leave the building before it gets too late.

you were in a state of boredom. your part of the project has already been done hours after you reached your apartment. to your surprise, the apartment was empty. maybe your roommate decide to stay the night at their boyfriend’s apartment. soon, the boredom slowly became unbearable so you decided to hit up the club for any sort of civilisation.

a seductive, red lip gloss dressed your lips as your fix the earrings dangling from your ears. the all black ensemble you were wearing definitely gave you a sense of high charisma and made you ooze confidence, perfect for a night out and warding off weird men. the heels you were wearing added an extra two inch to your strut. even though it’s probably going to be hell for you to walk in, you sure do look really good.

you took a cab to your favourite underground club, ready to take on the night.

the flashing led lights grabbed your attention as soon as you stepped into the dark nightclub. the atmosphere of drunk people in their early or mid 20’s dancing and having fun is never foreign to you. the bass boosted underground rap song pierce through your eardrums and made you heart thump along with every bass kick. you felt a surge of energy flowing through your veins so you wastes no time and walked towards the bar, before ordering your drink of choice for the night, completely ready to get wasted.

you are now on your fourth shot of vodka and dancing your way in the middle of the club. you’re a pretty sensible person off alcohol but when a substance is coursing through your blood, you tend to get a little too wild. the light changed and another song arrived through the speakers. you decided to leave the dance floor and return back to the bar to get another shot of whatever the hell you wishes

now i’m on my way to whatever’s waitin'

뭐가됐든 go straight (go straight)

fuck what they’d be talkin' 'bout

(fuck they talkin' 'bout)

their opinion doesn’t count like ooh

a loud scream can be heard on the dance floor, everyone began to vibe to the new heavy hitting bass playing through the very big speaker. a younger looking boy with bleached blonde hair appear with three other men on the stage

로또 터뜨린지도 어느덧

두달이 됐지 (yup)

나름 높아져, 벌농 인지도

man, 그 누가 알았겠니 (you get me?)

불가능해 보이던 모든건

수영이나 갔다오라해

wait, enough with vernon

원우형 here’s the torch

이제 가서 소각해요 man

even in your drunk state you couldn’t miss the rhythm of his name on stage since you have been thinking about him ever since the project was assigned. the craved, intricately carved, glass of bourbon wrapped safely around your fingers before you began sipping on it slowly. the sight you see next was nothing that you could’ve ever expected.

the red spotlight shined through the familiar figure, though he’s dressed so differently from when you saw him last.

uh 주위에선 그래 가능성 로또래

내가 노력만 한다면

대박 쯤은 그냥 터트릴거래

별의 별 놈들은 나에게 한마디씩 던지지

내가 볼 땐 넌 백날 해도 안돼

난 답하지 난 아직 어린이

발전 가능성이 높은 나에 비해 전혀 없어 넌

옛말에 똥은 더러워 피해

째려도 전혀 안 무서워

비교하면 난 박잘타는 흥부 너도 따라해도

넌 박치에 가깝지 내가 볼땐 니행동을보면 전혀 노력 금물 uh

너는 옥타곤 지옥에서 기어

난 바쁘니까 엄마가 보면 놀래 가사노동

할땐 주부들만치니까

나도 놀랬지 가끔 너 보면 ���치니까

넌 을이 없게도 그리해놓고 어디서 여기서 갑질이야

the familiar deep and heart rumbling tone of his voice pierced through the speakers and into your auditory senses. you focused your eyes towards the stage and there you see him, the man of the hour, hyping the crowd up like it’s nobody’s business but his. what surprises you his outlook, he appears more confident, more fierce, more arrogant and a bad news to literally anyone regardless of gender and preferences. he ditched the usually

thin-rimmed glasses and left the piercing cold and sharp eyes out on display. a black tight fitting tank top fit snug against his broad shoulder and chest. the purple, satin outerwear that’s slowly falling of his shoulders reveal biceps that could be envied by a lot of people and the huge written tattoos splayed on his neck and collarbones are the most unexpected part of him.

the smart and witty lyrics flows out of his lips perfectly against the rhythm of the overdriven instrumental. his motions in sync with the beat of the music made it seems like he has been doing this since forever, he wasn’t foreign to anything. that is not the jeon wonwoo you knew. the jeon wonwoo you knew was a quiet, smart and dismissive, not the one that oozes confidence and charisma like it is a switch to be turned on and off. you could not believe your sight. your heart thumped loudly against your chest with the music. the drink in your hand is slowly disappearing from the cup and into your mouth. you turned towards the bartender and asked for a refill, the torch has been passed from wonwoo to another member of his underground rap team and all you want to do is accept this as a dream and resume your night.

the song finally ended and the crowd went batshit crazy. you were still leaning against the bar looking at the stage still reeling in at the fact that the person with the rap team is your fucking history project partner.

wonwoo shared handshakes with his member before making his way towards the bar, ready to end the night with some good ol’ alcohol before another day began tomorrow. to his surprise. he saw a familiar figure leaning against the bar, drink in hand and cheeks flushed red. oops, his cheeky little secret have been exposed by none other than the person he has taken admiration to. the surge of confidence he got really made him a completely different person.

you mentally prepare yourself as you saw him walking straight towards you. you fixed your posture to appear taller and more confident even though you’re still inches shorter than his six foot height. you almost curse at the sight of him with that smirk playing on his lips. he walked past you and motioned for the bartender.

“i’ll have what she’s having.” he pointed at you, eyes lingered towards your figure for a couple seconds which made you almost cower at the sheer intenseness of the stare.

“so what brings you here. i didn’t realise this is your type of gig.” the question hung from his lips

once his drink is safe in his grip, you muster up the courage to finally speak to the new personality you just discovered.

“i think that question is way more suited towards you no?” you replied, a hint of mischievousness apparent in your tone.

the bronze liquid flowed from the cup and down his throat.

“oh darling, you may find me full of surprises.”

a/n : the edit was made by v follow her @/lovetagon