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hendolish · 1 year ago

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Hiii babes, if you still take fic requests could you please write a part 2 to that Mason X Declan story? Now that the names for the September camp squad are out and both Mase and Dec are there could you write something about them meeting again and Mase so badly regrets ending things with Declan now that he sees how Declan seems to be getting on well with Saka so much. And he starts thinking a bit delulu thinking that there's something between Saka and Dec when Saka has a gf and isn't even into Dec like that. Anyway he regrets it and goes back to Dec. At first Declan doesn't want to talk to Mase but in the end he does talk to him and they get together officially. Thanksss💗💗

[note- anon did correct themselves about mason not being at camp but i stuck with it to make it easier <3]

mason mount/declan rice | a sequel to on hold ♡

Mason’s an idiot.

He’s known this himself for a long time, of course, but he’s really a spectacular idiot in this case for pushing Dec away.

It hadn’t made things easier or lessened the pain of miles between them. Everything would make Mason think of him, of moments they’ve shared together or silly little inside jokes, his fingers itching to pick up his phone and call.

But then he’d remember what he did to Dec. What he’d said. And the crushing sensation would close in on him all over again.

Anyway.

That’s how he finds himself stuck at SGP, grasping brief glances of Dec whenever he can, darting his eyes away before the other can turn and catch him, feeling like he can never find the right words to say.

It doesn’t help that Dec seems to be getting along just fine with all the Arsenal lot now.

Mason watches them together as they wander onto the pitch, some of the last to leave the changing room, Dec whispering something in Bukayo’s ear that causes the both of them to burst into raucous laughter.

He stares down at his boots instead, digging the studs into the grass to make patterns before Steve’s calling them all over to start the drill. Luke had been talking to him but Mason couldn’t find the attention to listen, so he just laughs and agrees when the other looks over to him expectantly.

It probably wasn’t the right thing to do because it causes Luke to frown before asking, “You okay?”

But Mason can’t do anything but wave him off once Steve starts talking, pointing at cones and waving a set of bibs in the air.

Dec doesn’t look at him as Steve hands them out and Mason tries to tell his heart it’s not allowed to sink. Not when he’s the reason Dec is being off with him.

He chose this, now he has to live with the consequences.

They have to partner up for the drill and Mason allows himself to hope far too much by sneaking Dec another glance, but he’s already walking away with Bukayo, snickering at whatever the younger is telling him with that megawatt grin on his face that Mason loves.

Well. He loves it when Dec is directing it at him.

“C’mon.”

Luke says after a moment, tugging on his arm towards a free space, and Mason forces everything to the back of his mind and gets his head down because he has to.

Because this is England and it’s always meant so much to him and Dec. This is their time together, and Mason’ll be damned if he’s about to lose that too.

—

He can’t help glaring at breakfast.

Dec and Bukayo are stuck together like glue again, stealing food off of each other’s plates and laughing about it. Mason suddenly feels sick.

“You’ve got to let it go mate.”

Luke tells him once he follows his gaze. Mason had told him everything last night when bearing the weight on his own had become too much.

“Or you’ve got to actually talk to him,” Luke then supplements, shaking his head to himself as he tucks back into his beans, “Getting nowhere just starin’. You trying to read his mind or something?”

Mason wishes he could. Instead he’s busy racking his brain over whether he’s heard Bukayo talk about his girlfriend in the past couple of months. Did they break up?

“Hmm? Yeah. I mean— I know,” When Luke gives him a doubtful look Mason’s voice jumps an octave higher as he protests, “I know okay! I’m working on it. I just don’t think he wants to speak to me.”

Luke’s eyes shift sympathetically for a second as he tells him that of course he does. Mason stays quietly unsure of that.

He gets his chance later in the day.

Their rooms at SGP are practically next door to each other because they’ve always requested for them to be close and, as always, the England staff had listened and remembered.

It would be sweet of them in any other circumstance, but when he and Dec exit their rooms at almost the exact same time, locking eyes as their doors click shut behind them, Mason can’t help but curse them a little.

“Hey.”

He says, hating how awkward it sounds because things have never been, and should never be, awkward between them.

“Hey.”

Dec replies, but it lacks his usual gusto and Mason can already see his eyes flickering back towards his room.

“Do you—“

Mason tries to start, not even really knowing what he wants to say, but Dec cuts him off.

“Can we—,” He runs a hand through his hair then, a habit Mason knows all too well, before taking a steadying breath, “Can we not do this today?”

Mason nods because there’s nothing else for him to do, despite him being unsure as to what this is.

“Okay,” Dec says, although it sounds more like he’s talking to himself, “Good. Well… I forgot my, uh, yeah. So I’ll just…”

And with that the other quickly disappears back into his room, leaving Mason in hallway, unsure of how to feel.

—

Mason stays true to his word and doesn’t bother him the rest of the day. He knows he has no right to after everything he’s put the other man through.

But finds he simply can’t wait any longer when he wakes the next morning, too early to go downstairs but late enough not to bother going back to sleep, and soon finds himself stood in front of Dec’s door, hand poised to knock.

A million thoughts race through his brain in the seconds it takes Dec to answer, but they soon all slip away when he sees Dec standing there, in the t-shirt he’s seen him sleep in a million times. The t-shirt he’s tugged off him and helped him re-dress with in haste.

It’s soft to touch, Mason knows, and warm when pressed against Dec’s skin. Finally, he opens his mouth to speak.

“I’m so sorry,” He starts, and there’s really not a better opening to cover it all, “Dec, I’m— I can’t believe that I thought I could just—“

He cuts himself off there because he promised himself he wouldn’t cry. Not even if Dec had turned him away. He would’ve had every right to.

“Fuck,” He’s looking anywhere but at the other now, blinking rapidly, “I was such an idiot, I know that now. But I just… I couldn’t lose you, you know? I didn’t want to go through that, so I thought that maybe it would be better if I just— mmph.”

Dec stops him from going on with a bruising kiss.

Mason had known that he might ramble. That his explanation might not make any sense and he’d have to try a couple of times. But never did he think that Dec would get him to shut up by kissing him.

“You are a massive idiot,” Dec tells him after he pulls away, one hand still touching Mason’s cheek, “And it’s going to take a lot for you to make it up to me.“

“Whatever you want.”

He promises immediately, which launches a brightly amused grin onto Dec’s cheeks that Mason decides he never wants to see leave again.

“And can we stop being weird around each other now? I hate it.”

Dec adds, to which Mason easily agrees, and soon they’re lying on Dec’s bed together, side by side, and Mason’s reminding himself of the softness of Dec’s shirt again with a cautious hand.

“You’re still being weird.”

Dec declares then before taking Mason’s hand for him and placing it directly over his heart, feeling the steady thump of the rhythm there. When he glances back upwards, Dec’s watching him carefully.

“Yeah?” He asks, and all of a sudden Mason understands.

This thing between them is so much more than he could ever ask for and Dec… he wants it too and maybe always has. Mason feels like colourful fireworks are exploding in his chest, seeping into every crevice the past month has left behind.

“Yeah.”

He agrees breathily, as if speaking too loud may puncture the moment. Dec smiles across the bed at him before he’s pulling Mason back into his arms and slotting him against his chest like a puzzle piece.

Dec emits a loud, but content-sounding, sigh before he admits, “I bought you flowers and everything, you know. Was gonna be proper romantic.”

That makes Mason feels ten times worse, like a heavy weight has settled in his stomach, but Dec notices quickly and is soon peppering his face with kisses.

“Hey, it’s alright yeah? It worked out in the end. Everything always does with us.”

Mason can’t help but still feel bad.

“I ruined it though,” He says, taking Dec’s hand to squeeze and hold to his chest, “You were trying to be lovely and I just—“

Dec shushes him then, placing a kiss to his lips instead. It’s all in the past.

“I’ll buy you flowers again, yeah? And you can kiss me or hug me or do whatever you would’ve wanted to do back then.”

Mason looks over at him silently for a moment, taking in Dec’s soft gaze and the grounding reassurance in his words, wondering how on earth he’d gotten so lucky.

He closes the gap between them again then because he feels a sudden urge to make up for any time together they may’ve lost whilst he was busy being an idiot.

“Okay.”

Mason tells Dec through a giddy smile, heart soaring amongst the clouds.

I love you.

He thinks then, storing it away for another day.

♡

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yanderefairyangel · 3 months ago

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Bal masqué

Chapter 7 of Vanitas no carte : Bal masqué - The night of sneering masks is one of the most important chapter that serves to introduce several important plot points such as Louis's existence or the fact that Jeanne is a curse bearer, Vanitas's goal or confronting his power's incapacity to restore every vampire, meeting with Naenia and the members of Charlatan etc.

However, masked balls are a recurring tropes, a topos 19th century literature, or more speficially of the genre of "bildungsroman" Vnc shares many similairites with/takes inspiration from

In her article in which she compares 3 ball scenes, Zlatka Timenova-Valtchev establishes that the uses of this topos is usually here to explore the sincercity of emotions and pathos, of a non verbal communication throught words in spite of the concealed identities within the masks

Meanwhile, in her massive essay which also includes Portguese and Brasilians works, Claudia Helena Daher analyses the rise of the ball as a social events, it place within high society and it's transformation into a topos in which she explains that balls are part of a processus civilisateur, and at the crux of a questioning between the indiviual and society, a questionning that had rised in the 19th cnetury with the spreading of romantiscism and liberalism in France after the revolution and the end of the Ancient Régime

(I am trying to sum up essays that are either 20 or 500 over pages long, please bear with me)

Now what I wish to focus on is how exactly Jun sensei uses this topos in the context of Vnc

So we'll start by number one, the most obvious being how she adapts it visually

This chapters opens up with Teacher teaching baby Noé about the Formula and Babel incident establishing the origins of vampires as a whole

After this little lore information, we are met with this page

The page focuses entirely on the architecture, with a zoom out mimiking cinematic language to present the reader with the impression of entering the building where the bal is held and if you are familiar with 19th century novel especially french one (looking at you Balzac and Zola) you probably know that those books love their sweet, sweet descriptions of the settings, overtly detailled and very long but still very important because of the phrasing and the imagery within it

Well thankfully for us, manga can do show don't tell but my point here is that the focus on the spectacular aspects of this scene can be linked to this type of descriptions to set the reader into the environement and progressively immerse us into the world of the bal masqué of the vampire society

This cinematic aspect is further supported by the next page which feature a full view of the ball scene and really shows that Sensei has a an eye for detail, the amount of informations presented in this one scene is impressive, we see several vampires dancing together with various disguises, others in the background on the balconies

We can also see the precense of performers such as a clown, jesters, acrobats etc. We can also see elements proper to VnC such as the giant gear on the scene or the several skulls decorating frames and chandeliers

After this full view we zoom in some more

We see a fire breather, then a couple of vampire, a view of 5 vampires on the balcony, a zoom on 2 masqued women and finally, a panel showcasing 2 other masqued women in awe looking at two people dancing, we can only see the waist of the women and the details of her dress

That is to show how Sensei's guiding our gaze from all these events taking place during the Soiree to Noé and Domi dancing together

So having established how Sensei uses her drawing and panelling skills to restore the spectacular and grandiose aspects of a masked ball, we can also draw some intepretations of what it is meant to say about vampire hight society, which corresponds to something that Daher had pointed out as well, the ball as a societal and social event

Needless to say that the presence of the circus and the little zooming in on innonucious things such as vampires seducing one another or chatting and gossiping is meant to further erase the idea of a difference in behaviour between the two species, especially after we just learned that vampires are a race born from Babel's rewriting of humanity's formula and that there is only one human partaking into the soiree whose later on exposing himself as such, but this representation also fits with the idea of the ball being the scene where the whole world is shrinken to showcase all the differents layers of the society depicted, it's very telling of the vampire's enjoyement and behavior, fitting with the idea of a new world that we discover as an audience, notice that we aren't discovering it with Noé unlike let's say, Paris, it takes us a little exploration guided by the panels until we find our way back to him and Domi, we can guess that's a world Noé is unfamiliar with because of Dominique's comments about Noé's dancing skills

But another element is the striking parallels between the artisitic decisions Sensei took for this ball and the Charlatan Parade, something that Noé himself notices

More specifically, the Parade draws inspiration from Venise carnival

In her essay, Daher recontextualizes the history of bal in society and their raise, establishing the differences between the two as a social event, being that the Parade is a a Carvinal, that is to say popular events often portrayed as chaotic popular events, meanwhile bal and masked balls are the pleasure of the artistocracy and the higher class, it's a social event regulated

They are born thanks to Italy unsurprisngly, mainly raising during the Renaissance and figuring various disguise, mostly inspired from mythology at that time, but regarding the period of time we are interested in, 19th century, the disguises are taking inspiration from historical figure, for instance in The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dorian and Lord Henri masquerade as Henri III and his minion, in VnC we can see this in the choice of the disguises :

one of the vampire on the panel is wearing a fairy costume

Lucas is wearing an outfit similar to what men wore during the 16th century

Jeanne is wearing an outfit matching Lucas's theme, possibly inspired of Juliette's gown

Vanitas is dressed up as a pirate etc

It says that in the 19th century masked balls also had developped a more playful aspects, notably a game of trying to guess the guest's real identity as they were supposed to be disguised enough as to not be recognized, which lead to a whole developpement in the world of fiction as an event proper to plays and eroticism, sensuality and a lose of inhibition, the masked identity allowing fro a freedom of one's inner selves

It's also criticized for this very aspects but also supports the idea developped by Daher and many others as the ball representing the world of appearances, of deceptions, most specifically with the mask, hiding your identity, a notion of dishonesty

Unlike the ball where Sensei focuses on the spectacle and beauty we can see within it, the luxury meant to be highlighted, the Parade of Charlatan is presented as wonderous, bizarre event with a bit of eeriness, the panel focuses on Amelia's eye, the hands of the masqued female figure, then a foot popping up ear her dress and introducing the two main masqued figure, and a third masqued figure holding something, this progression introducing progressively the parade is made with black frame bordering the panels as opposed to the white and this coupled with Sensei's panelling and the use of screentone contributes to the eeriness of the scene before we get to the full view of the Parade, with the use of screentones on every element but Amelia accentuating the eeriness and the impression we are being shown a spectacle out of this world

The use of screentone is meant to darken the scene whereas in the ball scene Sensei uses it to make the scene pop up, shines and sparkles

Also don't take this as me trashing the anime but

I think the colors choosen kinda undermines this effect despite the dark atmosphere, I kinda get why they went with this direction but I feel like Sensei's usage of screentones allowed the element to work better at conveying the bizarness of that scene

Anyway back on track - this parallel between the two scenes explain the subtle focus on the element of the circus such as the clown and the fire breather or the way the gear stand out even in the background, to prepare us mentally to think about the Parade before Noé even brought that up

but this is even more interesting as later on Charlatan manifest, the mixing between these two events socially distinguished historically and distinguished in the narrative is already foreshadowed by those elements

Bringing up the social elements of these festivities might seems irrevelant at first however we must remember what Vanitas is refering to, a still life meant to showcase the futility of life, or even the reference to saying such as Carpe Diem or to the danse macabre, all linked to the brievty of life and the futility of believing in a system of hierachy for everyone is equal in death, nobles and peasants, humans and vampires, that is not mentioning the various elements refering to one motif in vanities, the skulls, present as a decorations in the ball room

Sensei using this decoration isn't simply to sign this with VnC's trademark, the skulls presented within the frame surrounding the characters on the various covers, it's also a subtle way to include a key element of vanitas, meant to remind of the futility of materialistic possesion in rank, meant to humble society in an event that represent the culmination of what vanitas are meant to critique, the showing of luxury, appearances, lust even

In an ironic way, the tragic turn of even that the ball takes with many guest turning into a trance and attacking others is further emphazing the idea that death is constantly prying on the vampires as long as Charlatan is active, that regardless of status, race and even conditions, (curse bearer or non curse bearer) everyone is equal to death as we see by the several victims made in this attack or the death of Catherine

This one might be a strech though but this does reminds me of the ball of the Mask of the Red Death written by Edgar Allan Poe where the main plot focuses on a Prince having locked himself with aristocrats and nobles whereas his people would die from the Red Death, one night where he is helding a masked ball, a mysterious guest show up diguised as the Red death which lead the Prince to become furious and chase the guest until he reaches him and falls death, then everyone else dies and the narrator reveals that the guest was indeed the Red Death itself because no one can escape from the ultimate fate of all living beings (I am obviously leaving out a lot of details for the sake of brievety but what is important here is)

This tale is obviously a commentary in the same manner that vanities are, but the precense of death as an uninvited guest is pretty similar to Naenia and Charlatan's presence in the ball, I don't think I need to further explain how they play a similar role as the Red Death though

Another aspects of masked ball that can be found within VnC is it's privileged choice for love or establishing romance, as demonstrated by Zlatka Timenova-Valtchev so... sorry if i you dislike this ship but it's obviously gonna be about VaniJeanne because ... well... you know why... also NoéJeanne ? Kinda ?

So Jeanne's introduction in this chapter isn't proper, it's mainly Noé remarking that Lucas refered to the plural, indicating he came accompanied and Noé wondering if this means that Jeanne might be here too

We are then shown Jeanne panting and visibly in pain, remember this chapter is the one introducing her condition as a curse bearer so I think it's very interesting that Sensei choose to introduces her in this situation through Noé's questioning on her presence ... especially when we get to the following chapters

Now what I want to focus is the panelling once more, we are shown Noé remarking Lucas's phrasing implying he didn't came alone and then a panel without speech bubble, focusing on Noé looking like he is thinking about something, this something only being shared in a monologue bubble that present panting Jeanne

Now this part of the developpement could raise some eyebrows since later on there is this repeated idea that Noé might be infantuated in some ways towards Jeanne, in chapter 3-4 there were some scenes showing him in awe before Jeanne's beauty and even blushing when she glared at him, this chapter is dropping here another scene that could lead to this intepretation, and this all takes place before the chapter where Lucas invites him and Vanitas to eat and where Noé is shown blusing at her again and even considering to invite her to dance

That's where this post is getting a bit complicated, you see a big reason why a lot of us (myself included) don't feel very convinced Noé would be in love with Jeanne like what Domi is shown to believe during the Attraction arc is that they got few moments together and barely real intereactions, however to play devil's advocate, I'd like to remark that a lot of times there are attempts at interections that gets cut such as Noé trying to invite Jeanne to dance before Domi beats him to it or they end up taking place at a bad timing such as Gévaudan or when during the Attraction arc

Does that mean Noé is in love with her ? Not necessarily but he is at the very least intrigued, and in a way that pushes Domi to believe in this possibility, plus it's Sensei we are talking about I don't think she would put those little intereactions for as small and tiny as they are if it wasn't meant to built something, as to what though I have no real clue but I assume it will be painful because... well it's Sensei we are talking about

That said if we go back to focus on the text itself, Lucas is searching for Jeanne but despite using this opportunity to present us with jeanne's current situation (Lucas explaining to Noé he is searching for her), instead Sensei's showing us Noé wondering about the meaning of this "us"

This could be because by this point they left on antagonistic terms, especially after what Vanitas did, but Noé focusing on Lucas's wording being emphasized by the narrative, even as a mean to justify presenting Jeanne in a state of weakness before she makes her introduction to pick up Vanitas, is still worth pointing out, this shows that Noé is at the very least interested in Jeanne, a plot point reprised in chapter 12, with a dance scene meant to parallel the ball, this time being more of a popular event than a formal party and not ending as tragically, and that this interest, whatever it might be, is born in chapter 3 and 4

That being said another reason why I feel the need to mention this is that Vanitas's relationship with Jeanne and Noé are paralleling each other but also that Vanitas's relationship with her porgresses in times where he isn't aware, in chapter 3 he can't hear them, in this chapter he doesn't know what happened between either of them until chapter 12 , they got on a date while he is left alone with August and we all remember how Noé had to learn about what happened between Vani and Jeanne during the Gévaudan arc only when he had to bring him seek help because he was at death's door

This chapter is furthering that we went from simply not hearing to not seeing in Noé's case, so his interest with Jeanne could also simply have to do with how he has seen that Vanitas is interested with her which is less of a strech to prove

Jeanne makes her proper appearance by the end of chapter 7 and intervene in chapter 8 by taking Vanitas away before he gets killed after he had revealed himself as a human to all the vampires

She is part of the several characters reacting with surprise to Vanitas's revealtion that he desires to get revenge on Votbm, like Noé she gets two panel dedicated to show her reactions,

In the next chapters she picks him up wearing her mask on

Now what's interesting is that Noé could recognize her despite her mask, which surprises even Lucas

and unlike us, who had seen Jeanne's costumes and could recognize the patterns, Noé had no idea what she was wearing, he was even wondering whether she was here in the first place a chapter ago

But back to the main point, the main big step in Vanitas and Jeanne's relationship is him discovering that she is a curse bearer and the biting scene that I won't share because last time I did tumblr told me it was "too mature"

And this ties back to the masked ball used to present scenes of eroticism and sensuality, for a reminder we saw earlier a couple of vampire presumably biting and Vanitas (or rather Domi) himself bring that up

this exchange led to Domi explaining to Vanitas why exactly Noé drinks her blood before proceeding to

So then Vanitas essentially mocks Domi's protectivness and you might wonder why exactly DomiNoé doesn't figure on the list of relationship to be covered, well that's because aside from their dance and reestablished frendship on Noé's part, this doesn't have as much focus as Vanijeanne does, though to be fair we do get to see the genesis of said friendship but the real focus is given to Louis due to the theming of curse bearer

That being said you could argue that Vanitas's frankly sexist remark is there to show he guessed that Domi felt something more for Noé but still goes along with simply being his friend, hence the "conveninent" comment

This further cements the idea that blood drinking isn't an entierly neutral act, it represent something and while in classical literature it's seen as a euphemism/metaphor for the you know what, it's not necessarily the case in VnC, even if Vanitas's reaction shows that he doesn't buy into Noé's vision of blood drinking, but in Jeanne and Vanitas's context, it's very much meant to have this connotation, if the way this scene plays out isn't enough to convince you, I will remind you that Vanitas uses the mark he got from this and this blood drinking itself as a proof that "he and Jeanne are in love" in chapter 12, cause he is a little sheet

However, if we go in detail of what happened in this scene

When Vanitas tells her to drink his blood and in imperative tone, he is wearing a strange smile, the next scene shows Vani removing his scarf to open his collar as he pushes Jeanne against the balcony

It's a scene where a lot of ink and screentones are used to accentuate the darkness of the atmopshere and creating a tense scene, but when Jeanne asks Vanitas why he is doing this he answer

"no real reason", we then see a puzzled Jeanne next to a panel showing his argument with Domi and his reaction afterwards, those are clearly Vanitas's thoughts while he argues that he doesn't really care about what could happen to him right now, possibly linking to how he decided to just throw himself into the vampire's den, we'll also note 2 bubble speech featuring suspension marks, indicating an unspoken, however, when we see the panel showing the character's gaze, the 2nd bubble speech ends up with an exclamation mark, and the little signs coupled by Vanitas's gaze indicates he is realizing something or rather remembering something, this reaction is pretty off in contrast to Jeanne's reaction

And he ends up correcting himself saying he is doing this because he is intriguied, remembering Noé drinking Domi's blood while he was waiting and thinking about Noé being an orphan, we can see blod stain and...this might indicate that Vanitas is lying right now

This could be a translation thing, however the bold text putting in emphasis "either way, I'm in love with you" highlight that this is a strange phrasing (but from what I recall from the anime that's mostly what he says in Japanese as well)

That's like Vanitas forgot that he could just use the fact he is in love with Jeanne to explain him wanting to let her drink his blood, and that's not like Vanitas wouldn't just use that his done worse before

But again, he doesn't think about it or even about a scene of blood drinking he had at least heard up until he had this little realization shown in the panel, before he was thinking about something else

And that's where you will have to focus on the blood spit in white

This is Vanitas remembering something, we don't see what, we only see blood and in white, he remembers this as Domi mentions Votbm and argues that Vanitas might worship them

It's that dialogue Vanitas was thinking about before he told Jeanne his excuse, it's also this dialogue that triggered this memory and this reaction from him, revealing himself to the vampires

This page uses a lot more ink and in the case of Vani it's trying to accentuate the shadows, he is repeating what Domi said but the bubble speechs are black with white texst and twisted, this is meant to showcase that Vanitas's reaction is meant to put us in unease, scare us even

Especially as later on he laughs

This not only puts Domi but also her servants in unease, Vanitas's reaction seems to indicate that he thinks it's ridiculous to think what he is doing is because of a feeling of admiration towards Votbm that would go as far as worship, this is further expanded upon when Vanitas clashes with Roland later on, Vanitas doesn't believe anything and is a pretty nihilistic person when you think about it, so the idea that he could worship anything let alone Votbm is likely what makes him laugh, not to mention everything we learned about his relationship with Luna for as little as we know, this does put a lot of things in context

Anyway, it seems that Vanitas's desire was to correct Domi's mistakes but because of Vanitas's conflicted relationship and him realizing what exactly the book of Vanitas represent in the vampire world, he decide to just set the records straight for everyone and that's where we get this scene

This is the scene that hightlights the skeletal chandelier and where we see the skulls and skeleton, creating a bit of confusion on the authenticness of those skeletons seeing them move like that, but that furthers reinforces the importance of their presence, to see a character named Vanitas standing on furniture made after a common symbol used in vanity could also place Vani on the same ground as the Red Death but unlike the Red death that promises demise to the guest, Vanitas offers salvation (more on that later)

The bit I want to tie to Jeanne is obviously the mention of possession mark

The way Vanitas describe possession marks informs on how exactly he views blood drinking, but this is like polar opposite to how he talks about Jeanne's mark of possession, the framing with the dark background, the blood invanding the bubble speech

This is basically a proof of objectification, that's how Vanitas describes it, mark proving he is the possession of Votbm

This essentially ties in one bow the topic of curse bearer's fate, Vanitas's honesty about being related to Votbm and the status of blood drinking in vampire society while making Vanitas and Jeanne's relationship progress

Given his recollections when he approached Jeanne before switching to "I was intrigued" it's becoming obvious that Vanitas did that because of events related to Luna, his biting by Votbm bears painful memories but by the point we reached in the story, how exactly did it pained him has become a lot more foggy to answer, regardless, him thinking later on about Domi and Noé while the blood stain he remembered during Domi's interogation reappears could indicate that he wanted to see if being bitten by Jeanne would be painful like it used to with Votbm or if it would be like Domi and Noé, but again, the portrayal is showing it's a bit... off, there is a slide there

Moreover this is happening meanwhile Noé is away and suffering (*look at the Vanijeanne date and the cabin scene* God, this is really establishing a pattern huh) so this second the idea that whenever Vani progresses in his relatioship with Jeanne, Noé is kept unaware of it for a reason

That said, to go back a bit further, I commented that Jeanne's costume could be inspired to Juliet from the play, mainly because in an interview Sensei said she had wanted to write a Romeo and Juliet type of dynamic between a man and a woman, enemies to lover basically, however an other reason I bring that up is because if you have seen or read the original play, Romeo and Juliet meet and fell in love during a... masked ball

Crazy I know, however the most interesting angle about this chapter is the thematic of the masks and who is wearing it and why

So it might seems like everyone is wearing one, however this isn't quite exact

If we look at the masks, Jeanne and Veronica wear a mask fully covering their face, Domi, Noé and the majority of vampires wears a loup mask (one that cover only the upper half of the face) and Vanitas just wears a eye patch, meanwhile other characters such as Lucas or Rutheven have their face fully exposed

Eyes are the windows of the soul, hiding them ties to a larger motif of the eyes present within VnC be it the vampire's eyes, the dhampir's eyes, the eyes of Misha and Vani or some characters having heterochromia, one eye bandanged, vision, the glasses the dhamps wear to hide themselves etc.

No matter what mask they are wearing, the eyes are always the hidden part,

The meaning of who is wearing a mask and who isn't can varry but this is where we go to the heart of Vnc's way of handling this specific topos : to talk about what is hidden within

For example, in regards to Lucas no wearing one it could be argued that's because he has nothing to hide in contrast of a whole society that is constantly hiding their true selves but in the present context the mask is an accessory meant to emphasize what it reveals of the person wearing

Because it's a masked ball, Charlatan can easily inflitrates and there is nothing that help distinguish the curse bearer from non bearer but the curse bearer are wearing a double mask, the literal one and a figurative one refering to their hiding their conditions

In the case of Jeanne, her wearing a full mask rather than a loup is making her standing out from everyone else, outside of Veronica, Lucas's escort and Charlatan, other characters all wear a loup

So in Jeanne's case it could be said that's because she is trying to hide her nature as a curse bearer, therefore Vanitas unmasking her (literaly) is meant to fit with him unveling her secret, thus removing her figurative mask, this could also tie with the notion of Pathos presented by Zlatka Timenova-Valtchev, the freedom given by the mask to give in your impulses, as Jeanne is given the permission from Vanitas to quench her thirst and to stop repressing herself, which we saw her do earlier, that's how she is introduced, fighting back her urges

In the case of Domi, she does take off her mask herself as she introduces Vanitas to

Unlike Jeanne she wears a loup which means only a part of her face is hidden, therefore this means only a part of her figurative mask is taken off during this scene

She isn't gonna reveal her true self or at least not entirely, what's revealed rather is what she intents to do to Vanitas and why, but it's becoming clear in her argument with Vani she isn't telling us everything but this chapter and the later chapters will help us realize that Domi as presented in the early story is still acting the way she does as a way to cope, she is acting in a way she believes doesn't reflect how she truly is inside as we see in the lastest chapter in how she praises Jeanne and how she is shown to be suffering from self accepting issues. In short, Domi is wearing a partial mask because she is already wearing one, hiding her true self under a mask of charisma and assurance

When it comes to Noé and Vanitas though this goes wild, and yeah this is by this point I am going to tackled their relationship and Noé's relationship with Louis (mostly because this is this angle of Louis that is explored in those chapters)

Noé wears a Loup too, however he doesn't seem to be wearing a mask unlike Domi and Vani or even Jeanne, but the truth behind the mask that is revealed in those chapters is his relationship with Louis and also a look to Noé's inner darkness which makes him more vulnerable and easy to exploit

This is a scene that is very interesting, especially compared to how Vanitas's own feelings about himself contrast drastically Noé's reaction but that further explores Noé's desire to help people as also resulting from the traumatic experience of failing to save his friends

Whereas for Vanitas he is wearing a triple masks if not more

2 literal ones and one gigantic figurative one, one that resists everyone to this day

Of course there is the eye patch, but also the pomander made to hide the fact he is human

The fact he is wearing such a simple accesory to hide his face would in my opinion highlight the idea that rather than it being to fit his pirate costume, it's his pirate costume that exist to match his eye patch

Vanitas is already wearing a mask, so his face being barely hidden would make sense with the idea he is already wearing one that hides more than a loup or a full mask, in that sense the pirate costume would be the only match of a mask that still hides him but also not entirely or not as partially as the loup, so the unveiling in this chapter can only be partial

He loses his eye patch during his session with Domi (what am I supposed to call that) but his second literal mask (his pomander) is something he takes off by himself when he reveals himself to the vampire, however this intereaction and the one he has with Jeanne later on helps pierce if for a moment through his figurative mask, he is already revealing an important information about his relationship with Votbm, he is their possession and he wants to take revenge on them, it's possibly so antagonistic that Vanitas takes offense and find utterly ridiculous the notion he worships them to the point he feels the needs to reveal himself to the whole world of the vampire aristocracy

However, it seems he does put his figurative mask back when approaching Jeanne, not when he tells her to drink his blood but rather when he tries to give her a better explanation than the one he gave her first hand

So while Vani manages to break through her mask easily because outside of her curse bearer nature and her bourreau persona she doesn't hide much, breaking through Vani's will take more time because he is hiding a lot more, and Noé will get to see one of the things that Vanitas "hid" from him

I am using "hid" because Vanitas didn't exactly tried to hide that but rather there has been no occassions for him to show this side of his power

So an important element of Louis story being introduced here isn't only to showcase Noé's darkness but also to highlight his cowardice

Noé was incapable of killing Louis and granting him the salvation Louis wished for

However this specific idea of killing = salvation ? is reused in this very chapter

Vanitas is amusing two vampire girls, one named Catherine and her little sister and everyone commented on how it gave them flashbacks of the flower girl from PH because Vani gave her a flower and her ending was tragic too

So this girl and her sister aren't wearing a mask, and while you could argue that it's for the same reason as Lucas, they aren't hiding anything, I would argue that for Catherine, it's precisely because she is already wearing one, one she isn't aware of but one nonethless and of course her mask falls off like the rest of the guests, Jeanne and Noé's (past) when Naenia enters the scene

This moment where Vanitas intervenes would tie back to what I said about Noé's perception of Vanitas, up until this very chapter Vanitas always succeeded in restoring the vampire's corrupted names

They were saved and by that Noé meant "alive and well", that's how Noé views salvation and what it had wished for his friends, but when he thanks Vani, Vani replies with a black speech bubble telling Noé's he got the wrong idea about this, and when you have the fresh memories of Louis story, we will see Noé is going to repeat the same mistake he dreaded over and was reminded off a bit ago

When Vanitas arrives to heal Catherine, the girl he offered a flower to and that even Noé remembers, he comments that it's too late and little digression but her lack of mask and mention of name makes it a lot easier to remember her after all the informations we were asked to digest but seeing her face and name also helps humanizing her enough in the little time she was given for us to find tragic what's going to happen

Yet she still has moving dialogue where she begs Vanitas to kill her with black speech bubble, crying because she doesn't want to hurt her sister

more speficially she says "before I kill my sister too" meaning that she killed other people, potentially even their own mother, but enough disgression, this request is obviously similar to Louis's desire to be killed by Noé and later on Jeanne and then Vanitas asking someone to be killed (this one scene really makes vanitas's "it has to be me who kill you" and "if I had to be kill it has to be him" gain even more weight than it already had and imo it's because we see Vanitas is doing what people begging him to do, even when it's about killing)

Noé tries to stop him, fails, gets angry at him and when Vanitas mentions he was saving her, Noé had an immediate flashback comparing Catherine to Louis before he asks one of the main thematical question of VnC : what is salvation ?

One that ties back to the backstory we were told about Paracelsus

Paracelsus came up with his formula theory to ensure humans would not suffer from illness anymore and to guide them to happiness (which danse macabre in background please) in other words : to lead humanity to salvation

The mentions of illness and salvation obviously ties back to Vanitas, a man who swore to heal the vampire's illness to save them, but unlike Paracelsus whose (so far) seemignly doing it genuinely, Vani does it because of his revenge against Votbm, that being said his very omnious phrasing of "saving them without fail" should have highlighted that what Vanitas considers salvation would be very different from the conception Noé or Paracelsus had of this term, and thus from us since we are likely thinking like them : saying someone is preventing them from harm's way and ensuring they are alive and safe

Vanitas's defintion aligns with Louis : saving means preventing one to become a monster, it is preventing one from suffering any longer in a state where they do not even have any longer the appearance or bearing of humans

The transformations of curse bearer into beings losing anthropomorphic traits, into "monsters", "beasts" plays directly into the diabolization we see humans perform against them when they had been characterized many times and even a in this chapters as being human like being, Catherine's plea to kill her before she harms her sister is showing she retained a thread of humanity and that she is using this to plead for her family rather than her, maybe realizing that it's too later for her

So this chapter is lifting a veil/mask on one of the reality of Vanitas's power, a tragic one but also one that must makes us think, and in the case of Noé in particular, reminds him of his own weaknesses

He didn't just failed to save Louis by his definition (making sure he is still alive) but also by Vanitas and Louis definition (making his suffering end), so in the same way that Noé will lecture August about him blaming Vanitas before realizing he literaly did the same thing (and he believed Vani was mad at him for that when ... no he was mad that Noé intervened between him and August, this does show Noé isn't that good at deciphering Vani), Noé repeats once more his mistakes of believing in one definition of salvation before reflecting on what exactly does that mean being "saved", something that steems from his own cowardice of not being able to "save" people in a way that doesn't align with his own definition

So I'll conclude by saying this : the balls chapters really cover a lot of thematic ground and every panel is sparkled within details that foreshadows not only the great thematics and questioning of this chapters but even informations about the cast at large, playing within larger motifs used by sensei and cleverly reusing a popular topos with its own twists

#vanitas no carte #vnc

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gwynndolin · 1 year ago

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Jiminy by Bear Ghost has been on repeat for me frequently since it released last fall!

Wow, I genuinely was not expecting to like this as much as I did. When I first started listening I was kind of like "Ahh, this kinda sounds like something that would get pretty big as a Tiktok sound for a hot second because someone made a Hazbin Hotel shipping fancam". Kinda got some Will Wood stuff, some Jukebox The Ghost stuff (specifically around the Off To The Races era where they really embraced the Queen comparisons), and I was like, okay i'll probably pretty well enjoy this but nothing especially spectacular here. Then I got to the end of the first song, After Me, The Flood and it had that big glitched out part into Heavy News and I was like. Ohhhhh... OKAY....

I still stand by what I said absolutely though, like especially with Will Wood comparison, specifically like the sort of showtune-like aspects to a lot of the individual tracks on the records, which is probably where the "Tiktok shipping fancam" feeling comes from (see Peas & Love, I feel like that song was carefully designed in a lab to have a bouncy, exciting, decent to well edited video of two characters that hate each other and want each other to die but the fandom desperately needs them to have a moment). It's pretty clear this album wants to be like, somewhat culture critical about the current state of some parts of society, but honestly a lot of the lyrics really fall short of necessarily saying anything particularly interesting about the matter and just come off as pretty juvenile in that regard. Like, Rivers is a Vampire is clearly about high society and excess and sucking out the life from everything and its a great song for sure but its also just like. Yeah you sure did the rich people vampire metaphor again! Which is also another point towards it being very Tiktok consumable. That being said I'm only kind of using "tiktok consumable" as a pejorative here, but it is why I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much.

Anyway this album has a pretty clear tonal voice here, like the songs do not really dip out of that same, bright, showtune-like quality, so there's not really many moments where the album slows down and takes a break from how hyper it is, which maybe as a full album is not such a good thing, but a lot of these songs individually would be a really great playlist spot.

I'm realizing now that most of this review has sounded like, extremely negative about the whole album, which is funny because so far this is like the most fun I've had listening and catching up with these music asks, I've already listened to the album through like 2 or 3 times and skipped around and re-listened to my fave tracks so. I don't really know what that means for my long term feelings about this album, but as it stands,

I'm feeling a really good 8/10 on this one

if I was pretty drunk and in a great mood I'm sure this album would've hit like 9/10 for me. I'm really into it, I might check out some of Bear Ghost's earlier stuff and see if I'd like it as much.

Fave songs: After Me, The Flood, Heavy News, Rivers is a Vampire, Big Town Banky Blaine’s Rockabilly BBQ, The Mario Cliché, When I’m Dead, Vulture

#music asks

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emmy-noethers-rings · 2 years ago

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Right friends it’s musical analysis time:

Spirit box radio has yet again decided to have its (musical) theme echo the (literary) themes of the piece and I’m vibrating why is this music so good. It’s doing exaaactly what a theme should and connecting the dots so nicely and and It’s so fucking good. Ok so

We have, in yhe most recent episode (sbr 3.12, solitude) the idea of the arcane space collapsing (shocking I know but bear with me) and Samael says something to the tune of “I’m telling thousands of stories, so of course it’s hard to keep track of the edges (of them)”. And of course

This gets reflected in the music. Our outro theme (havent given the intro a proper listen yet) consists of two parts: a) reverbed to hell and back strings/synth and b) the punch to the gut muted xylophone? Bells? (We’ll get into this but I’m no musicologist) that ends the piece

So for the first part, we have a simple variation on the main sbr theme that has been well established since season 1. This is fine and not super interesting, bc most of it sits underneath the credits, but it helps to bridge the gap between the ideas of a radio staticky spirit box and the main theme. It’s quiet, a little haunting, and normal (for the most part). It’s not something you’re going to catch, and it’s not something you really need to catch. The important bit tho is the faux-normality of the theme, which causes us to think that (barring the plot of. The episode) things are more or less fine (which is bs but again not the point at this moment). It’s very much samaels perspective on how things should be going - reminiscent of the world that was, holding on to the echos of the past, but not interesting or particularly good in its own right. This sets up the interesting part tho bc:

Part b) the fuck you it’s time to flip that on it’s head now. So,, we get the main theme again, loud and clear, with no credits to distract us. Played on a xylophone (I think? Idk I was a strings player it sounds like it’s a padded mallet hitting something made of metal, which is then immediately dampened). The theme played here is a perfectly straight (again, surprising given the characters ;] tehe) 4/4 quarter note 2 bar phrase. That takes the rhythms we’re used to and says. Nah fuck that. It’s so jarring. Eight eighth notes that so beautifully capture and bastardize the theme we’re used to that make it feel so flat and uninteresting (which still being musically beautiful but it’s not time to talk about phrasing rn). This so perfectly encapsulates what’s happening in the plot. These eight notes are the story (the one we the listeners know all too well) being retold by samael in this arcane space: flat, hitting every beat exactly, what is supposed to happen, containing the things that should be joyous, and absolutely failing to do anything correctly. It’s like you told someone to rewrite Haydns C major to be played by a elementary school band. It’s “correct” but so far down the uncanny valley that it’s just. Wrong. And no phrasing or dynamics or instrumentation or anything could fix that.

Now it’s time to discuss the choice of instrument. I wrote above that the melody feels flat - and that’s (to me) mostly due to the choice to immediately dampen each note, separating it from the other notes around it. This kills most phrasing you could do with the measure (again, not all, bc it doesn’t sound like bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong but that’s neither here nor there) and forces the listener to hear the notes as 8 distinct entities. It’s great it spectacular it makes the piece work so well and really adds to the analysis above but idk how to explain it

#ah shit I’m after not looking at the time and missing my bus #whelp #this was worth it tho all yinz need to go listen #the arcane box vibrates #spirit box radio #sbr 3.12 #I really hope I don’t need a music analysis tag

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reviewsfromreel · 2 years ago

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Boston Strangler (2023) - Review

Director: Matt Ruskin

1h 52mins

Drama, Crime, Biography

In 1960’s Boston, Journalist Loretta McLaughlin is the first to spot a connection between a string of murders leading to the investigation of the infamous ‘Boston Strangler’.

The niche subgenre of journalistic investigation is spearheaded by Alan Pakula’s All the President’s Men and, more recently, Tom McCarthey’s spectacular Spotlight. Both films are a testament to this specific type of film, balancing the genre tropes of mystery and giving us real stories told with panache and honesty. Matt Ruskin’s newest film does bear a resemblance to both of those films both in style and narrative, but its unbalanced script and half-hearted tackle of misogyny leave it paling in comparison.

At some point in the narrative the film loses you. You could argue that this is a true-to-life reflection of the Police’s skewed and scattered investigation but what Ruskin, who also wrote the screenplay, can’t seem to find is any coherence between the multiple threads he’s pulling on. Loretta’s home life taking a hit, the botched investigation and the collision between press and police all seem to get shuffled about with no real substance, lacking the extra punch that films of this genre regularly have. Fincher’s Zodiac is the prime example, with no clear conviction in its true story, it balances coherence with an enigmatic quality with ease – but Boston Strangler struggles to find that balance all the way through.

While the film’s narrative may be challenging, it’s able to capture the time and setting well, showing us the bleakness of a city shaken by murders. The dreary colour palette and smoky rooms really plays a part in creating the film’s tone – adding the enigmatic qualities that the film so desperately needs. However, it’s less of a crowning achievement and more of a fleeting triumph for a film that is so underwhelming.

A story of such infamy is always going to be interesting, but in the right hands this could have joined the elite groups of films that stand as the best of the genre. Aside from some strong supporting performances by great character actors and a consistent tone, Boston Strangler stumbles at every narrative hurdle – unable to capture anything poignant despite challenging so many themes.

2/5

#film review #boston strangler #movie review #kiera knightley #film #movie #cinema #review

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mitchbeck · 2 months ago

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hotellincolnsquare55 · 5 months ago

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Trekking in Thekkady: A Beginner’s Guide to Exploring Kerala’s Lush Forests

Do you have a strong desire for adventure and a love of the outdoors? Trekking in Thekkady, Kerala, maybe the ideal experience for you if you are searching for the ideal blend of the two. With a multitude of paths that lead through thick forests, undulating hills, and stunning scenery, Thekkady, which is tucked away in the Western Ghats, is a haven for both novice and expert trekkers.

If you have never trekked before, though, how do you even begin? What should you know before heading out onto the trails with your boots on? You will feel more equipped for your trip into Kerala's environment by the end of this discussion of the fundamentals of trekking in Thekkady!

Why Trekking in Thekkady?

Perhaps you are asking what makes trekking in Thekkady so unique. Thekkady is the location of the well-known Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary, a sizable region with an abundance of species. Along with the natural beauty of these forests, hiking through them offers the opportunity to see species including deer, elephants, monkeys, and unusual birds. Every step you take gets you closer to the heart of the wilderness, whether it be a quick nature stroll or a strenuous journey.

In Thekkady, trekking is a fantastic way to escape the daily grind and reconnect with nature. Just picture yourself strolling beneath the massive tree canopy and being able to hear nothing but the rustle of leaves and the chirping of birds. Sounds like the ideal getaway, doesn't it?

What Are Your Trekking Options?

There are many possibilities available for those who are new to trekking in Thekkady. There are routes that range in difficulty, so you can start off simple and work your way up to a more daring hike. The majority of treks are guided, so you know you are in good hands. Your guide will make sure you stay safe while assisting you in discovering the forest's hidden gems.

If you are searching for a short hike, consider day hikes that run about 2-3 hours. These easy walks allow you to enjoy the beauty of your surroundings without pushing your boundaries. Are you feeling more adventurous? Full-day excursions into the woodlands provide additional opportunity for wildlife observations and spectacular sights.

Interested in Something More Adventurous?

Thekkady offers some thrilling possibilities for those who prefer a little adrenaline with their trekking trip. Consider combining camping and hiking. A great option to combine adventure and tranquility is to participate in the Periyar Tiger Reserve's Camping & Trekking Program. The fact that the program's guides were formerly poachers who are now forest guardians is what makes it so awesome. Is that not motivating?

As part of this program, you will camp for one or two nights in the middle of the forest, where you will trek during the day and sleep beneath the stars at night. It is a genuinely unique experience to sleep in the middle of the forest, wake up to misty mornings, and listen to the sounds of the jungle. These knowledgeable trackers will also lead your small party and provide insightful information about the local fauna and ecology.

However, bear in mind that there is never a guarantee of seeing an animal, so exercise patience and keep an eye out! Of course, you should also always show respect for the forest and its creatures by not leaving any trash behind and by not littering.

Trekking Etiquette: Conducting Yourself Responsibly

It is crucial to abide by particular guidelines when walking in a delicate habitat, such as the Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary, in order to save the surrounding area and its fauna. Therefore, how can you hike sensibly? Here are some points to remember:

Keep the trails tidy and bring back all of your rubbish to avoid littering. This guarantees that future visitors will still find the woodland to be lovely.

Respect the animals: Even though seeing wildlife is thrilling, stay a safe distance away from them and do not ever bother them. Animals should always be given space because this is their natural home.

Dress in earthy hues that complement the surrounding scenery to blend in with nature. Vibrant hues have the potential to frighten animals away or impede their normal habits.

Pay attention to your guide: The woodland is best known to your guide. To ensure your safety and to make the most of your adventure, heed their advice.

These modest deeds improve your hiking experience while simultaneously safeguarding the forest.

Where to Stay: Hotels in Thekkady

After an adventurous day of trekking, you’ll definitely want to rest and relax. Fortunately, there are plenty of hotels in Thekkady that cater to every type of traveler. Whether you’re looking for a luxury resort or a cozy budget-friendly stay, you’ll find a place that suits your needs. One popular option is Hotel Lincoln Square, which is known for its excellent service and close proximity to the Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary.

Conclusion

It is important to plan ahead if you want to visit Thekkady's verdant forests. Especially during the busiest travel seasons, make sure to reserve your trekking excursion well in advance. There is something in Thekkady for everyone, whether you want to go on a quick nature stroll, a full-day hike, or an overnight camping trip.

Trekking in Thekkady is about more than simply the excitement of the journey; it is about putting the world on hold, taking time to slow down, and genuinely enjoying its beauty. Are you prepared to venture into the wildness of Kerala now? Gather your belongings, pick a hotel from Thekkady's selection, and get set for an amazing journey!

#kerala #tourism #thekkady #wildlife

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nanamimizz · 9 months ago

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HSJSHJS OKAY ILL CAVE IN ILL PLAY IT AFTER FINALS AND SPAM YOU ALL ABOUT IT

i have the game at home but i’ve never played it, two of my siblings finished it and say that it’s amazing so 👀 im curious to play, oh also i’ve heard many people talk about the attention to detail and how it’s so good to the point where they accidentally came across a bear and a wolf fighting bc of a deer carcass like woah the world is worlding, animals are existing n doing their own thing and you’re just a character that happens to live in the same world instead of it being the world revolves around the main character- ALSO SOMETHING I SAW ON YOUTUBE (it caught on to my arthur brainrot and tried to get me to play the game 💀) WHEN NPCS CUT THEIR FOOD AND USE A FORK TO EAT IT ITS THE SAME CUT SHAPE THAT THEY CUT AND IT SHOWS EXACTLY ON THE PLATE TOO LIKE WOAH ATTENTION TO DETAIL!!

this got me curious; what is something about the game that you find interesting/cool/neat? and what is your favorite thing about the game? 👀

YES !!! TO THE WHOLE TOP PART ! red dead 2 is by far rockstar’s most artistic game and the amount of detail that went into it is spectacular - that with the story of the game makes it One of the Games of My Life (with bg3) as a game i was so blessed to experience as a piece of art

my favorite thing about the game is the interactions at camp - its a solid way to immerse yourself in the game and it really makes you care about the story and the characters in a way i think is rare to most people !

#lamb.bleets #messages📩#hi stranger!#the way each character at camp ss their own life moving along your play through as arthur is sooooo good to me as s player it adds another #layer of experience for sure

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bigbloatedblueberry · 1 year ago

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ACT 01 | UNSYSTEMATIC AFFECTIONS AIR – A STEALTH ELEMENTARY ELEMENT OF ORLANDO’S CORPUS – FLIRTINGLY ENTERS WITH HEAVY LIGHT WINDS

[heavy light steps approaching they just stopped someone moves a delicate left hand to the right side of the, from the public’s perspective, unseen part of the stage silence follows how come? well, there cannot be real silence anyway] LIGHT! [which one? well, of course the kind of white but not really white one you mean the one that feels transparent? YES got it]

[commentator – sun // narrator – moon] A spot just a bit left, yet right, of the completely otherwise blackened stage of this meteoric parliamentary circularly spectacular kind of in between place got lighted! Color? A not defined kind of milky yet cold but warm white one but not white one – or other. Has the flair of brave windy tales. A persona stands there. Lighted yet in shadow. One cannot make out any specific facial features – the persona wears steady music. Well, never mind. According to one’s ears, the standing in standing persona seems ready and precisely not in need of an examination. One can say so according to the length of the personas’ shoulders, always combined with the depth of the all-around playfully thrown shadows. This is, after all, a well-known truth, a one, that can only itself be true in an absurd location of an efficient revolution, that one, which expands to a dislocated placement of an avant-gardian manifestation between the vaporous and the solid vertical perspectives, like this not specific one, we all find ourselves yesterday.

[air] I shall here attempt to explain some of these affections (for I do not undertake to deal with them all) and to set them apart from those designations that are not affections of any being [1] whose flat reflexion above a virtual engagement seeks to dare an arranged systematicity out of a systematic arrangement. Now, in the first place, neither discovery nor occupation can have any bearing upon freedom of trade. [2]

An interior openness outside a standard ideal of an adamantine body was said to know where a heavy breathing between light shadows can be felt: somewhere in between stammered denials of fragmented shapes in the domain of imaginary space and overlapping windows without measure or reference point. Detienne and Vernant therefore add even more boldly: “One meditates or constructs a cunning ploy in the same way as one fits together the various pieces of wood from which the trap is constructed, which form the instrument of the deception.” The above formulation, then, needs a little adjustment: the techne of building cannot reach the status of an appearance without any metis.[3] But, the techne of building, with a reciprocal dependency, that floats in touched time and flows in heard space, amidst seriously loving everything that is broken up and dances in the curious in between, can for sure start to wholeheartedly laugh, which is the status of an appearance with a hint of a metis.

[commentator – sun // narrator – moon] Well, in that case, we can yesterday start with this spectacle. After all, the first of the 4 was just gifted to you, dear private public of this meteoric parliamentary circularly spectacular kind of in between place.

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tuliprry · 3 years ago

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sunbeam 4

prompt: ballerina!yn x barista!harry, y/n is a ballerina and harry works at the café in the same building, both have a little crush on each other

warnings: mostly fluff, some smut (please do not read if you're not 18 or older because this isnt for you), mentions of kinks, mentions of anxiety

word count: 2.2k

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 5 extras

may 29th

harry's heart is about to beat out of his chest, he's front row at a local theatre, about to see his y/n perform, he has another bouquet of tulips to give her at the end of the show, he feels like when they first went on a date, nervous shits, sweaty palms and a tummy ache. the seat next to him is empty and has a paper saying "y/n y/l/n's mother", only making his anxiety even worse, y/n's mum speaks little to zero english and his portuguese isn't exactly the best.

"hello harry" a woman slightly taller than y/n says, "ohhh oh um olá (hello)!" his brain starts acting up immediately, y/n's mum sits next to him and they're just sitting in silence as they wait for everything to start.

y/n was the dewdrop fairy, the lead in one of the waltzes, harry was so proud, he was mesmerised, she was so beautiful and looked so professional up there, his point still stood, she was out of a music box and he could stare at her for a lifetime, just watching her spin and spin, just for him.

harry and y/n's mum were at the auditorium doors after the show, waiting for y/n, her mum had a winnie the pooh bear with her, y/n's favourite disney character, harry knew that, he just thought flowers were the appropriate thing for a ballerina. y/n walks out of the backstage door with one of her colleagues, mimi, mimi was from another ballet studio but they got along super well, easing y/n while performing.

"mimi, my make up is burning my eyes"

"tell me fucking about it, i don't know who said ballerinas need make up to dance i actually can't see shit in front of me"

y/n ran to her mum first, "mamã!" she hugged her tight, speaking in portuguese way too fast for harry's knowledge on the language, then she kissed him, it was a passionate kiss, they've been getting even more passionate lately, sometimes harry feels like keeping up with her will lead him to death, "i got you tulips" he smiled and handed her the bouquet with a little note.

"y/n, my most recently beloved blonde, i'm insanely proud of you my sweet girl, my bunny, my tulip, i love you so much.

amo-te,

harry"

y/n smiled at the reference of her recently bleached blonde hair and then held her tears back at harry's word in portuguese, he had said it to her a few times and every single time she sheds a tear on how powerful that word is to her. "também te amo (i love you too)" she says kissing him again.

june 15th

harry is seriously thinking about quitting his barista job, he spent the last two months reading into how to self publish and he’s finally ready to sit down with y/n and say he’s quitting, so moving in together could be happening quicker than what they had planned as harry would get a huge cut on his usual income but he needed to fully focus on writing only and he had enough poetry and y/n’s photography to publish his own book. he rehearsed it in his apartment alone a billion times, “i need to quit my barista job to start focusing on editing this book and publishing it…. no god no.. um i have to quit my barista job. too harsh harry too harsh”. he didn’t want to make such a big decision without y/n, especially after a really long talk a few nights ago about… what if in two or three years they got married and started a family, she was there and he couldn’t just make a rash decision by myself on a book he might just lose money from.

y/n finished her final year at university with spectacular grades thanks to her internship that became a paid job offer the same day she graduated, yesterday. so today she sped up to the studio she now officially worked at, setting up her own desk with her laptop and her stuff for when she’s in to edit some photos, she already has a semi busy schedule, except for 4th to 10th of july, when she’s going to italy with harry to celebrate her birthday, she was so happy she could burst in tears at her desk. she comes back home around lunch time to tell harry how amazing her little office at the studio is.

“harry!! i’m home i brought us some shake shack!” she says, taking her sandals off at the entrance of his house, “you have to come over and see my tiny office, it’s so cute and i have an amazing view to those big greenwich buildings and the tulips you got me for graduation just look so beautiful there, i also put up a photo of poppy, oli and you, ah i’m so happ- what’s wrong?” y/n placed the paper bag with food on the tea table, “y/n.. i have to quit my barista job” the girl was on her knees in front of him, trying to look him in the face, holding his hand and rubbing it gently, “i really want to publish my book, i’m not happy, i’m always late for magazine deadlines, i honestly only like to go because i get to see you and it’s how we met, i don’t ever want you to feel like i’m turning my back on you, my god i love you so much.” y/n was silent for a second, “harry.. i would never expect you to be a barista for your whole life, you’re a poet harry, this was a side job until you felt like it was time so if it is time go ahead, i’m here, do you need help looking into publishers? i can talk to some photographers who have released books and how they did it, seriously harry, you were born to be an author, i could never be mad” harry sniffled and looked at y/n, thinking of how she truly is an angel in his life. “fuck, i love you so much… shake shack was it?”, “mhm! let’s please it while it’s warm please? and then i promise i’ll start helping with your book”.

july 7th

palinuro, italia

it’s y/n’s birthday, harry woke her up at 8:30am to officially wish her a happy birthday at the exact time she was born, their days in italy have been so recharging he feels 22 like y/n, they’re staying at an airbnb, a whole italian villa just for the two of them. there’s a little patio with a whole bunch of flowers and vines, they’re currently having breakfast there, sweet strawberry jam on toast and a lot of cheeses, seriously they’ve been feasting on cheeses the entire time.

*smut*

“harry… i know we just woke up but god, i need you so bad” harry's lips immediately met y/n's, he could feel himself harden with a simple kiss but this woman left him absolutely on edge every single time, the kiss was passionate, almost violent, trying to find their way to the bedroom without stopping the kiss, harry's hands traveled through y/n's body, gripping at her love handles, god he loved her love handles, "god bunny", he whispered, getting her silky cream night gown out of the way, her nipples were fully erect without harry even touching them, the power he has over her is seriously out of this world, "if i put my hand inside your panties, how wet are you going to be, princess?" she could feel herself melt even more as his left hand held onto her and the right one did what he was saying, "so fucking wet aren't ya? all for me huh? all for daddy?" y/n tried to speak words but all out of her mouth were whimpers and sighs, "cmon lay down, let daddy take care of you".

y/n's legs are still shaky from earlier, the entire time on the car to the city she would close her eyes and take little power naps with her head rested on the jeep window. y/n doesn't really know how the whole daddy thing started, she moaned it accidentally one day and ever since they have explored it .... a lot, harry thinks y/n is the brattiest person he has dated, she has a true princess side but he just loves when she gets tough for him, just to melt the moment he says the word princess. "bunny wake up, we're here" harry says, turning off the car, "did daddy tire you out?" he asks with a cocky smile on his face, "just help me out, please" and so he did. the birthday lunch was at a little restaurant in the city centre, they've been eating good in italy, especially cacio e pepe, they also share a lot of deserts, some locals even ask them if they just had gotten married by the amount of touching and kissing, harry doesn't really understand much, he just waits for y/n to speak and then translate back to him, finding one of her hottest traits to speak italian.

for dinner they drove to napoli for a more fancy dinner in the city, or so y/n thought, harry saved enough money up to take y/n on a boat date, just for the two of them. harry was wearing brown corduroy pants and a pink shirt that was already half unbuttoned because of the weather. y/n has a long beige silk dress with little applications of tulle on the skirt and lace on her cleavage, white high heel sandals. "you're a goddess y/n, thank you for showing me heaven"

september 24th

harry has officially quitted his barista job, y/n was there for him to say goodbye to his friends and make sure he wouldn't back out, he had a book deal, he couldn't back out now, he got a little emotional saying goodbye to the place he met y/n at but y/n made sure to remind him what mattered was what they lived not where.

y/n and harry ended up moving in together in his apartment, y/n already spent so much of her time there and to help with money she just moved in a few nights ago, it has been chaotic to say the least, they've got an insane book collection both of them and no space for the 500 books they own, y/n has a lot of decorative pieces and harry has been choosing which one of his he wants to get rid off, thank god poppy and oli love each other and immediately falling asleep cuddling each other. one thing was easy, the kitchen, y/n loves cooking so making the kitchen more hers was something harry wanted to do, it has her plants and a filled up fruit basket, photos and magnets on the fridge, she turned his regular kitchen into a place it always smells good and feels like home. as for the rest of the house they're working on it, waking up next to each other and going to sleep without ever wanting to be away made up for the indecisiveness of the interior décor of the house.

"maybe we could get a rug we both like instead of arguing about bathroom rugs" y/n says holding her peach rug, "but bunny you love that peach rug... i don't think i mind if we get rid of mine" harry meant it, throughout these 10 months he knows how much y/n loves getting out of the shower and rub her feet on the peach rub, it's literally a peach. "are you sure?", "100%"

y/n has been working in multiple projects at the same time, romeo and juliet has been taking a lot of her time at the studio with mimi, they've been cast as rosaline and lady montague. "bunny we need a night out, we've been working so much, i miss you”, he means it, he has spent so many days looking at his poetry he’s starting to miss all the things they used to do when they started dating, he wouldn’t call it a love slump, they’re just so busy that when they get home they end up falling asleep, “yes, i miss you”, she can’t help but to shed a tear, “do you think me moving in was a mistake? i don’t want you to get tired of me”, harry sat on the bathroom floor with her, “tired of you? i could never, you’re my better half y/n, i would totally be lost without you in my life”, “promise?”, “i promise you”.

they decided to order in, big boxes of vegan sushi and ate them sitting on the sofa watching taskmaster, a show they’ve been watching together since they started dating, it feels light and funny and it always gets their mind off the hard topics talked about between them.

“do you think you could open a watermelon with your thighs?”

“of course bunny”

“i’d like to see that”

“are you implying i can’t do it?”

“i’m sure you can’t do it”

y/n's birthday posts

i fear part 5 will be the last

taglist: @his-only-angel-1989 @oscarissacsslut @odilevonbrekker @youd0ntkn0wm3 @tenaciousperfectionunknown

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doctorbeth · 5 years ago

Text

Stripes the 50 year old tiger

This will be a longer post, because it’s all about the details, and there was a lot of going back and forth with photos and emails to get Stripes and his stripes just right. So be sure you’re comfy when you sit down to read it. :-)

***************

Stripes person first wrote to me back in December about her tiger, Stripes, and his companion RedEye the snake. Both were starting to feel their age, but as she said,

“ As you can see Stripes is in the most need of repairs. Personally, I’m guessing that a full recovering is needed, but I’m certainly no expert and will follow your advice. Here are some pics which show Stripes fur disappearing and soon he will be bald. Amazingly he has no damage that I can find. His ears need some stuffing, but they have never been tall, firm standing Teddy Bear ears.”

Here are the diagnosis photos she sent:

As you can see, his belly section was pretty good, but his furry parts were wearing and fading. His person really wanted his fur recovered, in an orangier rather than tanner fur, and she opted for him to have a spa too.

Here he is in his bubble bath:

Once he was dry, he got restuffed and of course, got a heart with a bit of his original stuffing. Here’s his heart being made:

Then it was time to choose furs. As some of you know who’ve been reading for a while, usually with tigers we use a solid fur of the preferred background color, then add the stripes by hand afterwards. Here were the best fur options:

His person opted for the orangier, furrier one.

Stripes got recovered, and some smaller wounds on his belly were sewn. Then, it was time for hand striping. I did some basic striping, and then sent photos for feedback:

His person’s first response was:

Beth, you’ve made me cry at work. I’m absolutely over the moon with Stripes new look!!! Holy cats he’s looking beautiful!! You are AMAZING!

But I was asking for striping feedback, and she happily provided it:

The stripes. Thank you for being so conservative. :) I would like to add some more stripes. I’ve included an updated pic that shows where I would like some stripes added.

Tail: Could you put 2 stripes in a ring pattern around the tail? They continue the black spots you started. I also noticed with other Gund tigers that the ring was painted at a slight angle or sprayed as 2 “halves”, not a straight ring that looked like a raccoon’s tail. (pics) I know that there was more black at the tip of the tail, but I don’t think the whole tip was black.

Back Leg: I’ve continued your 3 spots into stripes.

Body: I’ve added 2 stripes, but if you will notice stripe #2 is in the shape of a ‘V”. (I remember this detail as a child) The stripes do NOT have to line up with the fabric underneath. They didn’t before. :D

Face: I’ve added a short stripe above Stripes’ right eye. This detail always gave him a slight serious look without being mean. (not a lot of slant to the line, if any) I have always loved this detail about him. And I’ve elongated the stripe on his forhead.

Beth, I’m pretty sure we will be adding some more stripes to the back, especially his head but I thought we might tackle this bit first.

She closed with:

Again, I just absolutely can’t thank you enough for your beautiful and loving work on my best friend. I have been showing people the before and after pics for the last 5 hours. I’m so happy!!!

So back to drawing stripes on Stripes I went. Here are the next batch of photos:

Stripes person was thrilled:

Stripes looks spectacular!! I mean he is just awesome with the stripes that you’ve filled out.

She wanted just one more stripe. She sent a photo, but it was in another format, so I won’t put it here, but she also described what she wanted very well:

So I just have 1 more stripe for you. If you look at my pic, you will see that I’ve drawn a line over the small black dot that is on his forehead. In the last pic you sent me you can still see that it’s just a spot and not a stripe. Could you lengthen that spot into a stripe for me?

Please note the position. When you are seated facing Stripes, this stripe includes/starts at the black spot and runs towards the right. You have a pretty stripe that’s higher on the head already placed on the left so this one goes off to the right and is the same length as that one.

Adjustment made, I sent another photo (you can see the printout with her line instruction next to him):

Her response:

Perfection Achieved! I’m so so happy!!!! How many exclamation points can I put in an email to show you how perfect Stripes is!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Stripes got packed up and headed home to a grateful human and snake. Here he is at home with his pal, RedEye:

His person was soooo happy! She wrote a very long thank you, with a history of Stripes and RedEye, and I don’t want to edit it, so I’m copying it entirely here for you to read. But you can skip it if you want and just know she was happy!

Hi Beth,

Sit back and relax. This may be a little bit of a long happy read. :D Please feel free to use any content or pics from my emails for your blog.

I waited anxiously for Stripes to arrive. Yes, my husband signed for the box and I couldn’t wait to get home!

And so the moment has arrived. I brought Stripes best friend Redeye in from the bedroom to help me open the package. We open, I close my eyes dig in past the packing peanuts and pull out our best friend. Oh My Goodness! He is beautiful! bright! and colorful! He practically glows! I see his face. Yes, yes! It’s Stripes! I see the same face I’ve gazed into and loved for 50 years. And that’s when the tears start. Crying, mouth open in shock but my husband says he’s never seen me happier. ..After many long years, I can finally cuddle my friend again.

Beth you have given me back something I thought I would never have again. I love Stripes so, but I couldn’t, didn’t dare to pet him or cuddle him. I had to be so gentle, so afraid that I was doing more damage to him. But now all that is over! I can sleep with my buddy by my side. I can take him on vacations again! I’m tearing up just writing this. I can’t express my joy…absolute joy over the work you have done. Stripes looks like a beautiful and bright toy again. Thank you Beth. Thank you so very much.

…And I’ll be sending Redeye to you some time in February. I’ll be sure to email you first to start the process.

And here’s a little history about Stripes. Stripes was a Christmas present in 1969. I have always loved tigers and I was in deep love the moment I saw him. He has enjoyed play tea parties with me, and watched drive-in movies sitting in the back window. He has looked over the candy hauls that I collected during Halloween and been in a beautiful oak tree during the crisp dry autumn. (Carefully placed on a towel, but he needed to experience a tree. He is a tiger after all.) He has been with me in Japan for a year and traveled all over the US northwest looking out of a train window. And he has done all these things with Redeye by his side.

--But let’s face the facts, in the last few years my friend was disappearing before my eyes. There was good fortune that his seams were okay but the fur was coming off. His stripes were completely gone in areas. He was looking more yellow everywhere. And I dared only to pat him. That’s when I began to search for help to restore my friend and so I found Realms of Gold on the internet.

Beth has been wonderful, corresponding with emails and working out details by sending pictures back and forth. She listened to my input and was absolutely amazing at applying the stripes in the right places. We actually discussed exactly where to put them. :D I trust Beth’s skills so much that I will be sending Stripes best friend Redeye along soon. He was amazed and so happy with Stripes look, that he can’t wait to go to Realms of Gold!

Okay Beth, this may be a little serious but I wanted to express my honest feelings, and let you know why this has been so important to me.

With my 2 stuffed animals loosing hair and looking tired a sobering thought occurred to me. If something happened to me, what would happen to them? We have no children to give them to. We can’t donate them because being so worn out, no one would take them. And the thought that they might end up in a garbage bin was too much. Of course for me, my goal was to pet, play and enjoy them again. That goes without saying. But now, seeing Stripes beautiful bright colors, I am happy and secure in knowing that years from now, I can donate or will him to a children’s home where he will continue to be loved. (I have several friends who grew up in orphanages and we think it’s a wonderful idea.)

Thank you so much Beth!!!!!!

I don’t know about all of you, but that made me smile all day. :-)

#stuffed animal repair #stuffed animal hospital #stuffed animal cleaning #stuffed animals #tigers #tiger #stuffed animal tiger #toy tiger

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misvet · 3 years ago

Text

The Space In Between: Ch. 7

Fears & Fevers (Part 1)

Omega is sick. She proceeds to panic.

Set between S1E10 and S1E11

**SPOILER WARNING: Some references to pre-S1E11 events**

Ch. 1-3 (Chaos & Control): Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 Ch. 4-6 (Hushed Whispers): Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 Ch. 7-? (Fears & Fevers): Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Coming Soon

Omega stared doggedly down at her boots as they trudged through the undergrowth. All of her willpower focused on forcing her feet to move, each step a concerted effort. At this point, it felt more like wading through thick tar than brittle leaf litter.

One foot. In front of the other. Keep going. Don't trip.

This is what she had wished for. To be brought on the missions. To be part of the team. If she wanted it to stay that way, she knew she had to hustle.

Her game of dejarik against Hunter had been an infuriatingly close win, but even so, she wasn't about to give him any reason to back out of their deal. No. She was determined to prove her worth. Prove that she could be just as tough, as fast, as fearless as the rest of them. Prove that she was good enough... to be a Batcher.

No matter... how tired she was, no matter... how much she ached.

Fortunately, the prospect of being left behind again… was a very good motivator.

One foot. Then another. Keep up. Don't fall behind.

Flanked on all sides by the rustling sounds of the Batch hiking in tandem around her, she concentrated on following Hunter's path. His footprints were evident, even to her novice skill, pressed lightly into the vegetative carpet of the forest floor.

Unable to help herself, she briefly marvelled at how pretty the fallen leaves were. They were huge. Flat and broad, with spiky edges and spiderweb veins, auburn like the setting suns. Even these ones, dry, dead, and crunching underfoot, were beautiful. She imagined that those alighting the enormous trees around them must be even more vibrant and spectacular, but she couldn't bear to lift her head to admire them.

For some reason, the sky was sharp today, and it hurt to look up at it.

Not seeing Hunter's 'hold position' signal, she yelped with surprise as she ran face-first into the rear of his armour and was knocked clean off her feet. Tumbling ungracefully onto her backside, she hissed as her palms scraped across the gnarled roots of a tree, and her tailbone bore the brunt of the impact. A jolt of pain rocketed up her spine and she clutched at her head, afraid it was about to pop off. She hadn't even bumped into him that hard, but there was a pressure mounting in the base of her skull that seemed to suggest otherwise.

She moaned as Wrecker's voice bellowed in her ear. "Hey, you alright, kid??"

Wincing, she opened her eyes, and they immediately grew wide at the sight that greeted her. They were… back on the Havoc Marauder.

Wait… when did we--?

"How's that knock to the noggin' treatin' ya? Hah, I've been there, kid". Wrecker was hunkered down in front of her, grinning at her sympathetically.

She was sitting in the common room, but when she tried to recall how she got there, she was met with an impenetrable wall of fog. A stinging sensation came into focus and she looked down at her hands to find them cleaned and dressed with a few small Bacta patches. Omega glared at them with utter confusion, as if they belonged to someone else.

What--?

"Omega?"

She blinked, and suddenly Wrecker was gone. In his place was Echo, holding a ration bar and fixing her with a wearisome expression, as if he had been standing there attempting to get her attention for half a rotation. Glancing around, she found herself cross-legged on the floor at the base of the Gunner's nest with crayons and blank sheets of flimsi in her lap.

When did I…?

Her head throbbed to the rhythm of her pulse. Weakly, she rubbed her temple and wondered what was wrong with her.

There was a clunk as Echo knelt down in front of her, the sound of his mechanical knee against the durasteel deck. He sighed heavily, and she sensed a lecture incoming.

"We've talked about this, Omega," he said, not unkindly. "You can't just not eat".

Oh… it's time for dinner already?

Finally catching up to the present, she pouted at the floor and crossed her arms over her chest. Ever since Echo had figured out that she was skipping meals to keep herself awake at night, he had taken it upon himself to break the bad habit. Bizarrely, despite having new - and much better - ways of coping with the nightmares now, she still found it difficult to manage a full portion. Tech had rationalised that she may have formed a negative association with the plain foodstuffs, making the rehabilitation process more challenging. Gratefully, Echo's strategy was humane and empathetic, having recovered from a prolonged period of starvation himself. It involved increasing the amount of her end-of-rotation ration very gradually, in manageable increments.

She glanced at the three-quarter sized bar he was holding and groaned. He was stepping it up today, and his timing couldn't have been worse. Ordinarily, she might have put up a fight, but as she went to muster an argument, she found herself completely devoid of the energy to do so. Sighing with defeat, she reached out, palm up, to accept the ration.

Echo placed the bar in her grasp and then gave her upper arm a squeeze of encouragement. The very weight of it in her hand made her want to cry, but she didn't want to disappoint Echo. As soon as she brought it to her face, however, she found herself inches away from trying to take a bite out of Tech's soldering iron instead.

Omega gawped at it, flustered with befuddlement.

I don't--

She looked up. Tech was beside her, seated in the pilot's chair, rewiring a broken comms device with deft fingers and happily oblivious to her sudden disorientation. Her arm shot out to brace herself against the back of the chair as her head reeled with dizzying turbulence.

How… did she end up in the cockpit?

In the process of adjusting to her new setting, she became aware of a churning sensation in her centre. As if mere acknowledgement had awoken it, like some angry beast, her stomach twisted with cruel intent and she nearly doubled over. Stifling a gurgle, she snatched at her tummy, trying in vain to somehow restrain it from performing wild backflips inside her. It was not the empty nor anxious feeling she was uncomfortably familiar with. This was a noxious pang, as if her brain was convinced she had imbibed a poison and was determined to rescue her from it.

Had she eaten that entire thing? How long ago had that been?

A warning signal went off on the dashboard, close behind her, and Omega grimaced as the sound blared in her over-sensitive ears.

My head…

"Miss Omega, would you mind disabling that alarm?" Tech muttered, reluctant to deprive his present task any degree of his attention. "The starboard seismic sensor is misaligned and the Marauder will not stop hassling me about it". He gave a short grunt of annoyance. "It is not as if I can climb out and adjust it while we are in hyperspace," he huffed under his breath, more to himself.

Omega knew where the deactivation switch was, but as she turned towards it, the bright lights of the console bit savagely into her eyes, and she gasped aloud with the pain that lanced through her skull from front to back. Quickly, she attempted to dilute the agony with the relative darkness offered by the crook of her elbow.

A warmth loomed near as Tech leaned over her to flick a toggle, and the warbling siren was immediately silenced. Then, she felt Tech's gloved fingers pry the soldering iron from her white-knuckled grip before clasping her arm and gently dragging it away from her face. She kept her eyes firmly shut.

"Omega, what is the matter?"

A rising heat flushed her cheeks and hot tears prickled behind her eyelids.

Don't cry…DON'T cry.

He swept his hand under her fringe to expose her forehead, as if looking for a bump or a bruise. "Does your head still hurt? Perhaps I should reassess you for a concussion--"

"N-no! I-it's nothing, really," she stuttered with embarrassment, balling her hands into fists to scrub over her eyeballs. "'m just tired…".

It might have been the truth. She honestly had no idea.

Surely, that was it. Surely, she was just tired…

"Then I think it is time for your sleep cycle, ad'ika". Gingerly, he captured her hand and she allowed herself to be lead down the gangway. Eyes still closed, she begged her feet not to stumble on smooth steel, or on thin air for that matter.

One foot…in front...of the other… Don't…trip.

"Do you require assistance with the ladder?" Tech asked when they arrived at the Gunner's mount.

"No," Omega mumbled unconvincingly. Blearily, she attempted to navigate the rungs without divulging the pathetic weakness of her limbs. Clearly, she failed in that endeavour, as Tech decided to boost her up the last part of the way. Grateful that her fairy lights were switched off, she crawled two paces onto the cushioned platform before collapsing onto her side with a loud sigh.

"I… am going to fetch Hunter," she heard Tech say with a tone of concern, though she could not fathom as to why, and within the space of a millisecond, Hunter seemingly materialised out of nothing. Perched on the lip of the Gunner's mount, leaning forward so he could comb his fingers through her hair. Had it truly been just a millisecond? The fog in her mind had grown muggy and fetid, ladening her thoughts with a thick damp. It was too hard to figure out what was going on, so she simply gave up trying.

All she knew was that everything hurt.

"Hey, kiddo," Hunter said quietly. "You feeling alright?"

She sunk her face into the mattress. "Sleepy," she managed, the word muffled through foam.

There was a tugging at her left leg as Hunter carefully removed her boot. "Well, you can't go to bed like this, kid," he chuckled softly. The other boot came off, and Hunter's hand pressed behind her shoulders. "C'mon, sit up".

She mewled irritably as he eased her into a sitting position.

"Arms," he prompted. Omega made a sullen face as she tried to raise her arms over her head. As if her wrists were adorned with bracelets made of solid lead, it felt damn near impossible.

Regardless, Hunter made do, pulling her tunic up and over before threading her into the long sleeves of her pyjama shirt. As he began buttoning it up the middle, Omega leant back against the wall, already halfway to oblivion.

"Gonna need you to stand for a sec," he told her, fastening the final button, and she frowned, rolling her head side to side in a wordless 'no'.

"C'mon," he crooned, bringing himself onto one knee in the Gunner's nest. "Last piece, promise".

Hunter scooped under her arms and lifted her effortlessly onto unsteady feet. He brought her hands to rest on his shoulders so she could balance as he delicately tugged off her trousers and replaced them with flannel pyjama pants, patiently instructing her when to lift each foot for him.

"There you go," he muttered, securing the ribbon at the waistband with a neat bow before resting his hands on her sides and looking up at her. "Been a big day for you, huh, kid?". His words were softened by a smile, but he couldn't have realised the blow that they landed. Omega dipped her head, chin to chest, and didn't answer.

Maker, she felt like such a burden. Such a waste of space, of time, of resources. Incapable of swinging a punch, shooting a rifle, or flying a ship. Part of the team? Who was she kidding? The Batch could just go on without her and they'd probably be better off…

If a light thump to the head was all it took to reduce her to this, then perhaps Cid had been right.

She was nothing but a liability.

Her resolve deteriorated, like a cliff face finally crumbling under the relentless will of its oceanic adversary, and her shoulders began to quake.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

All she could do was stand there, tears spilling from the commissures of her eyes no matter how tightly she scrunched them.

"C'mere," he murmured, drawing her into his arms and brushing his hand in wide circles over her back. "You did good today, Omega, really good".

Arms slung over him, face nestled against the base of his neck, she felt sick with the turmoil. Hunter was murmuring things to her - she could feel the tenor of his voice against her skin - but none of it made any sense. It was all back to front. Her ears insisted she was spinning, but her feet claimed she was not. Even with Hunter wrapped around her, she trembled with the effort to stay upright, swallowing her sobs and whatever else was threatening to bubble up in her throat.

Moments or minutes passed like that, perhaps it was hours - she had no way of knowing. In one instant she was gripping Hunter's blacks with all her might, and in the next she was practically slumped over his shoulders, her legs having surrendered her weight. Vaguely, she felt Hunter's hand sliding up to cradle the back of her head, and his other arm sweeping her knees out from under her.

As her consciousness slipped away from the fringe of reality, she hummed pleasantly, feeling the pain simmer down to a bearable buzz in the background.

Carefully, Hunter leaned forward, keeping her pressed close as he brought her down to rest on the mattress, and by the time she made contact with it, she was already gone.

---

For the first time in weeks, Omega dreamt of nothing at all.

But sleep… was a traitor. Unable to hurt, unable to haunt, it betrayed her still, tossing her back to where her suffering would be greater…

Abruptly, Omega awoke, and all at once, her senses returned - like a crack of lightning.

Hot, loud, white, PAIN.

Her head erupted, as if her skull was being split open along its suture lines. She opened her mouth to cry out, but failed to draw breath against the tension of her abdomen. It was unbelievable. All she could do was gasp, teeth clamped together, nails buried into the flesh of her palms.

She didn't know what this was, but she knew what it wasn't, and it wasn't just a bump on the head… She needed help, and she needed it fast.

Hunter!

Lifting herself from the bed, in of itself, was like trying to claw free from a shallow grave, invisible gravel and rock holding her down as she fought to make an escape. She scarcely made it down the ladder without slipping, her fingers growing senseless and unfeeling. Blindly, she staggered toward the cockpit, knowing by some instinct he must be there.

One...foot. In front...of the other…

As she reached the threshold of the gangway, she heard him, but he still sounded impossibly far.

"Omega…" his voice drawn out in a low warning. "What're you doing out of bed?"

Her heart was pounding in her throat now, smothered under the confines of her ribs, unable to push the blood against gravity. A dizzying haze was creeping up her neck, and she knew she wasn't going to make it.

With a final effort, she cracked her eyes open, wide enough to catch sight of Hunter as he swivelled in the co-pilot's chair to face her. Just as he leapt urgently to his feet, the blue light of hyperspace behind him scorched suns and stars into her vision.

"'untah…" she gasped.

Darkness consumed all, bright supernovas giving way to an endless black void. Her legs buckled, and air rushed against her skin as she fell. The pounding of boots on steel was the last thing she heard, and then...

There was nothing.

---

Ah, welcome, friends, to my shameless, self-pandering sicfic.

No, I shall not apologise.

#SmackThatKudos

#TellMeYourThoughts&Feels

Here it is on Ao3!

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #star wars tbb #the bad batch fanfiction #tbb fanfiction #tbb fic #tbb hunter #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #tbb echo #tbb omega #sickfic #tbb whump #tbb fluff #tbb angst

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