#point is i hope dark comes off as 17 sometimes even if it's in a way that makes people want to tear out their hair

[dnangelic]

dark obviously hates being called dark-kun over literally anything else like dark-sama or Just Dark but it's also nice when a muse recognizes that he is or at least should be just like. 17.

[dazed-and-confused23]

Can I please request a fic where Dusty the Deathclaw has a close call? Like maybe the Enclave or the Brotherhood of Steel, or raiders, got in a lucky shot on Dusty’s belly. And this DEVASTATES the reader enough to go full John Wick on the person who shot Dusty, even to the point that Cooper is like “Oh Damn”. Cause they hurt the WRONG wasteland baby!

Dear Hearts and Gentle People 17

I had a lot of fun with this one and it gave me an excuse to head down to the Capitol Wasteland. Ignore the janky timelines ❤️

*so sorry that this took a while to get out. Life does a good job of getting in the way sometimes @odditycircus-2002. I hope you enjoy! ❤️*

Masterlist

You aren't a fan of the Capitol Wasteland. The weather is shit, and she and Cooper had been shot at no less than eight times in the two weeks they'd arrived. This pocket of the wasteland felt even more dangerous to be in, especially with the rumor of a slaver group in the area. You and Cooper had agreed to avoid them as best you could, but that still left the rest of the factions the two of you needed to keep an eye out for.

The BOS left the three of you alone for the most part whenever they happened to cross your path, Dusty had even made a friend with the dark skinned lady named Cross. Raiders were raiders, but the problems really started when she and Cooper stumbled across another group. The Enclave.

Even after the destruction of Raven Rock, pockets of the old world faction still remained. The day was coming to an end when laser fire suddenly accosted the trio of wanderers. They dove for the cover of nearby rocks and grab for their own weapons. Dusty roars loud enough that your ears ring and charge ahead, furious milky eyes zeroed in on the men in suits of power armor.

"Fuck. That's the Enclave," Cooper snarls beside you, and you whip around to stare up at him in horror. Out of all the factions that they could have run into, it had to be one of the most dangerous ones. They were righteous zealots who dreamed of wiping the earth clean of all mutated creatures.

This was the one faction that would have the kind of firepower to actually hurt their deadly companion, and you felt fear grip your heart when rapid laser fire fell upon Dusty. The creature snarled and gnashed his teeth, dropping down to his front arms to sprint forward and close the distance between himself and the Elclave member who had the gatling laser.

"Dusty!" You scream and run forward, ducking behind rocks and burnt out cars in your bid to get to the deathclaw. Cooper rubs right behind you, taking pot shots at the line of figures that stand on top of the cliffs above them. One woman screams as a bullet catches her in the leg, and she goes tumbling off the cliff to hit the ground, dead.

The deathclaw rips through the men and woman who don't have powe armor, blood and gore flying in all directions, and painting his golden scales red. You arrive in time to see a man in power armor rip something off his back and onto his shoulder. The weapon glows a terrible blue, and you watch in slow motion as a bolt of electrified plasma flew through the air and struck Dusty in the chest.

The deathclaw goes down with a howl of anguish, rearing back to expose the blackened flesh of his soft underbelly. His scales crack and melt off, and Dusty falls to the side, the ground shaking when his weight meets the earth.

Cooper hears you scream, and the sound rattles him. It's full of pain and fury, rage, and disbelief. He watches you drop your weapon and dash forward, throwing yourself at the man who shot Dusty. You cling to the man, feet finding foothold as your fingers dig into the neck paneling of the suit and rip at the tubing and wires that connect to the helmet.

Steam erupts from the power armor, and the man jerks around, stumbling as half of his suit loses power. You find the latch to the helmet and rip it off, exposing the face of the terrified man who dared try and kill Dusty.

The ghoul shouts your name when the two of you tip over, the power armor useless now that its systems have been compromised. You appear seconds later, wielding your side arm. You shoot the man in the face until the chamber runs dry, shoulders heaving and teeth bared in an animalistic snarl.

With the fight over, with any other remaining Enclave having fled the scene, you turn on your heel and run to Dusty. You drop to your knees beside the whining creature and reach for his massive head, hands gently smoothing over his dangerous horns as you whisper reassurances to your baby.

"Is okay, sweetheart. I'm right here. Can you let momma see?" You coo, and Dusty lifts his head, moving just enough that you can see the awful wound left behind from the tesla cannon. Dusty whuffs and grunts, obvious sounds of pain falling from his maw.

"Cooper, bring me my bag," you order, and the ghoul does so without a word. You dig around until you can find your stash of chems and drag out the med-x and stim-packs you have. You have no idea if these would work, but you had to try.

"I need to see it, Dusty," you murmur, and Dusty shoves his head forward and into your lap, looking for comfort, and you easily give it to him. You hold his head close to your chest, and the beast breaths in your scents deeply, his milky eyes closing as he begins to calm down.

You look at Cooper, and the ghoul sighs, but he takes the medical supplies from you. He goes about moving around the deathclaw until he can see the burn. The med-x goes first, and then he injects four stim-packs around the wound.

The chems seem to work, for it isn't long before the deathclaw relaxes, his body sagging forward, and you grunt as you take his weight. His breathing evened out, and Cooper watched in muted fascination as the wound began to knit back together. He sighs and plops down in the dirt beside you.

You lean into him, and Cooper wraps his arm around your waist as best he can, kissing the side of your head. Silent tears stream down your face as relief sweeps through your body.

"He'll be alright, smoothskin. Dusty's tougher than he looks."

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 11)

Hello again, and welcome to part 11! I cannot believe I'm up to 11 parts on this thing with more to come (though not too many more, I think). That means I've recommended 200 fics/series so far as I've been doing 20 recs per post. Tbh I'm actually pretty proud of myself over this because it means I've been showing incredible restraint throughout this process in only recommending my favoritiest-favorites as opposed to every single fic I can remember liking even a little bit (don't worry, that will be the next series lol). For reference, I currently have 2,610 Sterek bookmarks in total on AO3 and have so far reviewed 1,749 of them to get to those select 200. That is wild to me lol.

BUT ANYHOOZLE.

As always, thank you all again for the support you've shown this series. I hope you're all having as good a day as you can, if not a great day. Smoochies and squeezies from me to you!

List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

************************************************************************

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

not enough by Jana_C (G | 1/1 | 1,569)

Sometimes love is just not enough.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Quiet Night (Not in the Cards) by Delightful_I_Am (T | 1/1 | 4,369)

"Derek fucking Hale!"

The shout rang through the bar and for a long moment nobody moved. It was like something out of a movie. Everything just stopped; the music cut off; one of the servers had frozen mid-pour. Grady would have laughed if he weren't holding his breath. The kid straightened his shirt, a glimpse of stomach showing the curling edges of a tattoo on his hip, and strode toward where Hale was sitting in the dark corner. As one, every supe in the place turned to see Hale's reaction; the last person to try to confront Hale in here had left with a broken hand and a whispered threat that the next time Hale would rip their throat out. With his teeth. Unsurprisingly, Hale's face was set in its usual glower, although it seemed a bit softer around the eyes. It took Grady a second to realise Hale knew the kid.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Painted Wooden Letters by DiscontentedWinter (T | 5/5 | 10,013)

All he ever wanted to be was Stiles Stilinski.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Babcia Knows Best by thepsychicclam (T | 1/1 | 11,887)

Stiles takes his grandmother to bingo every Thursday. Now there's a new guy calling out the numbers, and his grandmother has decided to set them up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

god knows I am dissonance by scepticallyopenminded (E | 1/1 | 24,239)

Stiles has zero regrets – zero, absolutely none – about leaving Beacon Hills after he graduates from Stanford. He knows his dad is good, has friends, has the force, has Melissa, and knows that even if he and Mel weren’t dating, that Scott has the sheriff’s back, will take care of him, keep him safe.

He knows Lydia has no regrets, either, and the two of them hop a plane less than a week after the graduation ceremony, two full weeks before their lease in Menlo Park is even up. They pack up a U-Haul, go back to Beacon Hills for two nights, and then they’re off to LAX, three suitcases and two carry-ons between the both of them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's joy not far from here by Talis89 (M | 9/9 | 28,354)

“I’m coming,” Derek calls, shrugging on a sweater. The first few days of March had been warm, but the weather has turned in the last week - winter's last ‘fuck you’ - and Derek is expecting the icy blast as the warm air rushes out the front door. “What—” His breath freezes in his throat.

“Hey there, Sourwolf.”

Stiles is standing on the front porch— Derek’s front porch— his right hand waved in a half wave.

“Stiles?” Derek almost takes a step back. “What are you— how?”

~

Two years after Derek runs from Beacon Hills, Stiles turns up at his front door looking for his own escape. What follows is a story of adventure, healing and finding a place to call home.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Heart Remains The Same by heartsdesire459 (T | 1/1 | 28,797)

When Stiles left for college, he already knew the truth... Stiles wasn't a 'he' at all. Dropped into a new, exciting, liberating level of freedom that came with going to college somewhere without anyone who knew her, Stiles began to explore her true self and began her quest to become the girl she knew she had always been. Her fears of everyone's reactions back home led to skipping the first holiday... and then a second. And then the next.

Two and a half years after leaving Beacon Hills - two and a half years spent living an entire new life as a trans!woman - a call in the night forces Stiles to go back to Beacon Hills to face the people she had left and the friends she had abandoned.

“Stiles… it’s your dad.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Second Coming (of Werewolf Jesus) by lupinus, uraneia (E | 3/3 | 40,104)

Stiles was enjoying his senior year until his crazy English teacher decided he made the best candidate to gestate Derek's kid. Now Stiles is a seventeen-year-old pregnant dude and he and Derek have to figure their shit out, because in nine months they are going to be tied together for the rest of their lives.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Burning House by 1jet2unknown, nottoolateforthegame (E | 15/15 | 41,007)

“Why am I here? What was the point of showing me all that? It’s not like it’s going to change anything!”

You can change it.

 “How?!”

 You can change it if you go back.

“Then take me back!”

Stiles’s stomach lurched as the world tilted and stretched sideways.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now as Ever (All That Is and Has Been) by venis_envy (E | 16/16 | 52,270)

Stiles can't remember what happened to rearrange the time-space continuum, or how he ended up being pulled into the past. All he knows is that he's there now, in 2003 Beacon Hills, with a teenage werewolf and a possibly-crazy veterinarian as his only allies.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (T | 1/1 | 68,368)

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daybreak by TheObsidianQuill (M | 10/10 | 70,382)

"There . . ." Stiles swallowed and looked down at the bottle in his grasp as he slowly swirled the amber liquid inside. "There's really nothing left. For me. Everyone is . . . gone, and it feels like I haven't thought of tomorrow in years." His words rang in the air like a gunshot, he took another heavy drink. "I would trade every last breath I take to just have another shot—not even a guarantee, just a chance to make things right and bring back even one of them." -----

The pack was gone. He had nothing left. He had no one. With nothing to lose, Stiles puts everything on the line to go back in time to try to prevent the future from becoming his past. Broken, guarded, and haunted by his past, only one overgrown-pup of a wolf seems able to get past his defenses. Changing the future? Easy. Finding a place for himself in the Hale Pack? Impossible.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What Goes Around by KouriArashi (M | 16/16 | 71,451)

“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.”

It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential.

Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Law of the Jungle by Nutellargh (E | 1/1 | 75,854)

After the Kanima fiasco is over, Derek takes his three betas and leaves Beacon Hills. Stiles knows he could contact him if needed, but they barely keep in touch, and only about mundane things. 4 years later, after a steady stream of supernatural issues they somehow manage to deal with, Lydia is the one to contact Derek when Stiles starts looking worse and worse everyday, with no idea as to how or why. The Slavic monster draining Stiles' energy points them to a much bigger issue Beacon Hills has been troubled with for years.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Windows by dr_girlfriend (E | 28/28 | 83,266)

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

where thou art, that is home series by ShanaStoryteller (8 works | NR-E | 94,108)

Hi, Tin here. Once again, Tumblr is deciding not to allow me to post any of the individual stories and summaries here, so here's a very brief summary without me waxing poetic about the series:

This is a canon-divergent AU series that acts as a sort of "fix it" for the universe without sacrificing the things we know and love from canon (imo). It begins with Stiles (and Scott as his co-pilot) managing to prevent the Hale fire from taking out the whole of the Hale pack and then moves forward from there. Lots of BAMF!Everyone abound and interesting takes on existing tropes and canon elements. I urge you all to check it out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Taming of the Wolf by Amethystina (T | 15/15 | 105,352)

When Stiles seeks shelter from the rain in a rundown house in the middle of the woods, the last thing he expects is to find that someone is actually living there. Even less that the person in question isn't quite human. Derek is something else entirely.

Before he knows it, Stiles is thrown into a world he knows very little about and while he enjoys the unlikely and complex relationship that sparks between them, it's obvious that something darker is lurking in the shadows. Something from Derek's past that is just waiting to tear them apart.

Chapters 13, 14 and 15 are bonus chapters, featuring the same story but from Derek's POV (a total of 40 700 words). This is basically two fics in one.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anthracite by LupusScintilla (inkandblade) (E | 16/16 | 106,673)

It's been a quiet few years, and the McCall Pack has grown and settled. But, when the Hale Pack return to Beacon Hills they find Scott isn't as welcoming as they had hoped.

Soon they, Stiles, and Lydia, find out that not everything about the McCall Pack is as it has always seemed.

♠

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All Bark and No Bite series by MoonlitMemories (3 works | NR-M | 157,246)

1. Protect and Serve (M | 17/17 | 150,789) Stiles discovers the Nemeton starting to grow again in the preserve on Hale land. What does that mean for the pack? More importantly: why does the Nemeton seem so attached to Stiles? 2. Baby makes Three (G | 1/1 | 3,202) Erica finds out she's pregnant. 3. One of Us (NR | 1/1 | 3,255) Malia doesn't know what to do with the Hale pack.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Get You The Moon by A ClosedFicIsNeverRead (E | 30/30 | 180,785)

Derek looked up in surprise to note that they were taking a private jet. Dread settled into his gut like a stone. “It has a cage, doesn’t it?” he asked quietly, and noted the subtle changes in his family members’ posture. “Is it for me?” Cora gave him a pleading look and nodded. “Is it because of what you’re going to tell me?” he asked, voice like gravel. Another nod confirmed it. Stiles. Oh, GOD. It had to be Stiles. Derek would not lose control over anyone else in Beacon Hills and they damned well knew it.

- OR -

The one where Derek has been gone for 6 months building a new life, finds out that Stiles is being assaulted by Theo, so he comes back to Beacon Hills to kick some serious ass and rescue the loudmouthed human who stole his heart.

(You will need ALL the tissues, but it will have a happy ending by the time all is said and done!)

Title inspired by song: ‘Get You The Moon’ by Kina ft. Snow

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

************************************************************************

[dixonsstinkysock]

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur."

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader, Daryl Dixon x Daughter, (slight Carol x Reader???)

Era: Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Descriptions of the Dead… THIS TAKES PLACE IN EPISODE 1 OF THE BOOK OF CAROL, IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND WANT NO SPOILERS, DO NOT READ.

Word Count: 3,441

Chapter Summary: Carol, Reader, and Remy start their search for someone who’s been gone far too long.

A/N: This is (sorta) my first x reader fic. I’m super excited and nervous at the same time, I’ve worked very hard on this chapter so I hope it’s readable. Also this entire fic was inspired by @villifix !! They are so creative and are basically the reason I’m writing this 😭😭. Sooo Thank you so much for inspiring me! (and letting me use your character concept muah) I don’t know alot about guns or cars so bear with me here. One more thing, I feel like Carol is very protective over the reader and Remy in this, which is mostly biased because I think she’s hot and I want her to protect me…okay goodbye.

Click–clack..click–clack..click– 

“Ow! Damn– ...Sorry.” You adjust the rearview mirror to glance at the 17 year old in the backseat– who should be asleep– instead messing with that stupid butterfly knife.

“What happened? I thought you were sleeping.” You mentioned, slightly annoying at the fact she’s still trying to perfect her knife tricks, over getting some rest. Carol looks back at the hazel-eyed girl, checking if the wound is bad enough to pull-over. “You’ll be okay Rem, it’s just a small knick. Be more careful–Please. We wanna bring you back home in one piece.” 

“Right..I’ll be more careful.” Remy agreed, her voice small and soft, as if she’s a little..embarrassed. “Uhm..Mom, could we stop for a minute?” she asks with a slight country accent–an accent she got from being raised by a certain redneck archer. “I kinda have to pee..” 

“Sure Angel Face, it can’t hurt us to take a short break.” You smile at her through the rearview and turn to pull onto a dirt patch on the side of the road.

Remy walks a little out into the brush–knife in its sheath–hidden a little under her purple zebra striped dress. You and Carol are leaned up against your car, a white, 2010 Toyota Matrix. “Have you noticed anything off about Remy recently?” You question, turning to face Carol. “It’s like she’s…I don’t know–Distracted?” Carol responds immediately, already having an idea of what the problem was.

“Well..We’ve been looking for Daryl non-stop and we’ve had no luck so far. Not so much as even a clue. She’s worried, I don’t blame her..I am too.”

Remy stands, fixing her dark brown-striped leggings. It’s quiet, the only sounds are the leaves rustling, a squirrel scurrying home with dinner. It’s almost peaceful–if you forget the dead are roaming around. Unfortunately, the smell is too pungent to miss, their throaty growl, the agonizingly slow footsteps or the sound of their decaying body separating as they drag themselves against the ground. Remy knows the feeling, knows the sound, the smell–it’s like being watched..being hunted. 

It isn’t hard finding the lone walker, Remy gets closer to “put it out of its misery” as she says. She knows that the dead aren’t people anymore but she still prefers to give them the respect they deserve– for them to finally rest in peace…sometimes pieces.

Carol notices her first, itching to get back on the road and continue their search for their beloved hunter. You all pile back into the car, preparing for the long journey ahead. You look back at Remington–your daughter–she’s grown so much, so fast.

“You okay Rem? No bites?”

“Yeah, No bites.”

Turrrr..turrrr..turrrrrr

“You hear that?’

“Yeah..There!” 

Carol frantically points to where the familiar noise is coming from– a motorcycle– specifically Daryl’s motorcycle but…No Daryl. 

“Mom, is that–” 

“Yes it is, buckle up please.” Of course, Remy is already buckled.. She doesn’t feel safe riding in a vehicle without a seatbelt– especially with her mother driving. You whip the car around, now following behind the bike– matching its speed, determined to find out where this random man got Daryl’s bike from.

Carol rolls the window down, leaning out of it to aim her handgun at him. Only wanting to do enough damage to where he stops– and is still able to be questioned after the crash.

BANG! SCREEEEEK! 

Fortunately, the man is almost perfectly intact..besides the bullet wound in his shoulder. Also– lucky for him– You’re able to bring the car to a halt just before running him over. Carol gets out of the car, slowly, the stranger obviously isn’t going anywhere. She walks to the trunk, and pulls out her Weatherby PA-08, already loaded.

Approaching the injured man, aiming her shotgun–

“Where’d you get the bike?” Her voice is flat, but confident.

“W-Wait! Don’t shoot..please..” The man’s voice was shaky and unclear, almost on the verge of tears as he held his wounded shoulder.

“Where did you get the bike?”

You’re still in the car, not bothering to get out, knowing Carol can handle this herself. That crash was loud enough to draw a good amount of walkers– you hope to get out of here before then. Remy’s in the backseat twirling the ends of her short braids, a nervous tic she’s had since she grew hair.

Carol checks the man for any weapons, she finds a small hunting knife and a handgun similar to her own. No bullets. You decide to get out of the car now, wondering what’s taking so damn long.

“He know anything?”

“Yeah a little..Let’s tie him up. Leave him in one of those trunks over there.”

Walking back towards the car, Carol picks up Daryl’s bike, turning it in the direction you all were heading in the first place and walks it to the driver window.

“Follow me, there’s a junkyard a couple miles from here. That’s where he said he got the bike.”

“Alright, right behind you.” Remy climbs in the front seat, her mood lightened, knowing that we are one more step closer to finding the man who raised her.

You stop the car a few miles from– what you assume– is the place you need to be. Carol pulls up beside you as you roll your window down.

“I’m gonna ride up on that hill right there– Take a look at the place. Stay here until I come back.”

Around 5 minutes go by, when you see Carol riding the old death machine back towards you. “So?”

“I only saw a few people, but there might be more inside. Let’s walk straight in there– show that we’re friendly.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You start the car up, putting on your best poker face. “I’ll let you do the talking, people seem to trust you more.” You say, teasing Carol at the fact she’s so good at manipulating people..a little more than she should be. She gets the job done so maybe you shouldn’t complain too much.

“Ha-Ha Fine. I’ll do all the work, again.”

“Oh–Whatever” 

You both laugh, and start heading towards the Camp. Carol gets off the bike, while you and Remy get out of the car, staying a few steps behind Carol and ready to move if need be. Her hands are up, and her steps are slow– an “I’m Friendly, Don’t Shoot” gesture. Clearing her throat she starts–

“Ahem…Hello..” The 3 men startle, spinning around and stopping what they’re doing to find out where the new voice is coming from. You notice a familiar crossbow in the hands of an unfamiliar man. He sets the bow down on one of the cars hood and picks up a new tire– walking away from the weapon. It felt like seconds..Carol attacking them after the man walked away. Before you knew it Carol had Daryl’s crossbow back, one of his arrows in someone's foot, and new information.

You decided to leave your old car back there, running low on gas and starting to overheat. You’d gotten lucky to make it that far. Carol decided to take the Mercedes Benz SLS one of the guys had just finished working on, the same guy who had Daryl’s bow.

“Sucks, we had to leave his bike back there…” Remy murmured, her voice back to being soft and small, her lower lip slightly jutted out. She’s always had a problem with letting thing’s go– worthless or not, everything means something to her. 

The Boatyard was a waste of time. A couple beached, useless, boats aren’t going to help you in your search for Daryl, especially in getting to Europe somehow. You can tell Carol is getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Everytime you think you’re finally getting somewhere– it’s another dead end.

Getting back on the road with no destination– again– had tensions rising.

Carol was quiet, Remy was jotting down everything we had learned in her old tattered notebook. She’d been writing more, sometimes drawing, You’ve gotten a few peeks here and there when she falls asleep re-reading everything. 

“-ey..Helloo? Earth to Y/N.” 

“Yeah? Sorry..lost in thought… Did you need something?” You noticed the pair of square sunglasses Carol found in the car, they look good on her.

“Just wanted to see if they had anything good in that glove box, the silence is making me itchy” Opening the glove box, you find a couple audio cassettes inside, different rock bands, pop, etc. You grabbed a random tape and handed it to Carol, still looking at all the other ones. Some lady with a high pitched voice starts singing. Obviously Carol is not into it and throws it out the window.

Another tape. An up-beat instrumental, again not a fan.

A third tape. You should’ve been carefully reading the names on the cassettes before giving them to her, but honestly, finding the right song wasn’t important right now. It’s a meditation audio, she hates it. Almost breaks the radio trying to get it out. With no luck, she decides to try and follow the instructions coming from the tape..taking a deep breath in..and then–screaming in frustration.

Kinda awkward but you understand, Remy decides to lay down in the back seat, trusting Carol enough to take her seatbelt off for the first time while the vehicle is still in motion. Carol hears a strange whirring noise, like a plane or a helicopter. She looks through the windshield up at the sky, searching for the object making that noise, not paying attention to the road. You look up right before it happens.

“Carol, Watch out!”  SCREEEEEK!

She swerves off the road, after hitting the walker in your way– crashing into a tall Drive-IN sign.

“AHH! What the hell?!” Remy yelps in confusion, now squished in the floor behind the front seats. “Holy shit..Remy?! Are you okay?” You whip around to check your kid for any injuries– she’s fine– might be a bit sore later but thankfully nothing serious. 

“Fuck..I’m sorry. Are you two okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re good, are you?..”

“Carol, you’re bleeding.” You reach your hand up towards her forehead, there’s a 3-inch gash going from her hairline to right above her right eyebrow. It’s bleeding but not enough to be anything critical; you hope.

“I’ll be fine..Might have a major headache but I’m sure it’s nothing serious..” She takes another look in the sky searching for the plane again.

“What the hell happened? Why weren’t you watching the road?” You’re a little upset at the fact she put your kid in serious danger.

“I- I saw a plane or.. something above us. If we find it..” Carol looks at you as if she doesn’t need to explain anymore. She doesn’t, it’s like you two are connected telepathically, you get it. Remy’s up and in her seat looking at you two, a lost expression on her face.

“Y’know, It would be nice if you guys would finish your sentences once in a while, then maybe I’d be up to speed.” Carol gets out of the car to assess the damage done, while you turn to explain what you two were thinking. 

“I think the radiator is fucked. We’re gonna be on foot from here.” You and Remy get out of the car, gathering all of your belongings.

“The plane went that way.” Carol points where she last saw the plane heading.

“Okay..Rem, you got your stuff?”

“Yeah..I’m ready.” She confirms after putting her bag strap over her head.

That noise is back..which means the plane is close. All three of you look up in hopes of seeing it. “There..that’s the direction we need to go.” Carol points at the plane again before it disappears behind the tall trees.

“Alright, we should hurry before it gets too dark. I don’t wanna be out here on unfamiliar grounds with the dead walking.”

You couldn’t make it before dark but it was better than nothing. After a few hours of walking, you three come across a tall metal fence– not knowing if it was electric you ask Remy to keep back a little. Carol moves forward to scope the place out, once she knows it’s relatively safe she gives you two the signal to follow her.

There’s a large trap on the right side of the metal gate, the gate looks stable..and powered, a good thing that whoever lives here has power, a bad thing at the thought of what they had to do to keep this place secure. Carol motions for you to get under the large trap, stepping over the previous attempting the same. Remy’s the smallest out of all of you; no one would expect her to be able to lift something that heavy. 

“Okay, Rem get over here and pretend to get us out. Me and your Mom are gonna try and get this guy's attention.”

“Just follow what he says and we’ll be okay.” You reach your hand out through the gaps of the bars to caress her cheek.

“Yeah.. I got it.” She slightly smiles at you, reassuring you she’ll be fine.

“You ready?” 

“Always.” You put your arm back into the bars and position it to look lodged under the rusted metal prongs, Carol does the same.

“HELP!..SOMEBODY HELP!” You two shout loud enough to attract the man.

He comes up from behind the cliff, pointing a light–and gun– at you three. “Quiet! You’re gonna draw them..”  Carol explains what happened to our car, striking a deal with the man, spewing a bunch of bullshit like “Relying on the kindness of strangers”. 

“Is it just you three?” Carol nods. “You swear?” 

“Please..We won’t cause you any problems, I promise.” Remy being here made it a little easier for his guard to be let down; Him realizing she’s just a teenager.

“I’ll get you all fixed up..then you leave.” He opens the gate with some kind of remote. “One false move and I’ll shoot you.”

You and Remy are standing in the open barn waiting for Carol to finish cleaning up. Ash, the man who is helping you three, is standing right outside, gun in hand– waiting to shoot if need be. The power goes out unexpectedly, Carol stops what she’s doing and slowly looks over to Ash. 

“What’s that?” He looks a little impatient and sighs. “Problems with my generator..happens from time to time.” 

He walks away to go and fix the problem, trusting you three a tiny bit more, enough to leave you unguarded. Carol follows him out, still dabbing her forehead with the damp towel. Ash flips some switch on the generator and the power comes back on– a temporary fix.

“Have you ever hit a walker with your car?” Carol questions, trying to get him to open up a little. “No..” He gives a short response, obviously not wanting to engage in small talk with a stranger he just met, creeping around his walls.

“Hm.. You're lucky, I think I smashed the radiator”  He shoulders his gun, not thinking of you all to be too big of a threat.

 “You can spend the night here if you want..”

“Really?” Remy gives him a hopeful smile, excited to be sleeping within walls again. 

“Yeah. C'mon you three can stay out here in the barn” He leads You, Carol, and Remy out to a quaint, small barn, a little ways from what you assume is his house. Remy walks in first checking the place out, she thinks it's kinda ugly, considering her face is slightly scrunched. You go to walk in after her but realize Carol isn’t following you two. It’s like she’s frozen in time, somewhat shaking, as she starts to tear up.

Ash walks towards her slowly, gently grabbing her arm before you can, snapping her out of whatever trance she was in.

“Hey..You okay?” She looks at you with a dazed expression, blinking away her tears and pulling herself together. “Fine...C’mon let’s get inside.” Ash shuts the barn door behind him, turning the main lights on. You see Remy standing in front of– what you assume– is the plane you all saw earlier. Carol walks up behind her, rubbing her shoulder.

“Alright, you can sleep in there” Ash states, turning on the lights of your room for the night.

“You fly that thing?” He looks at the plane, longingly, as if he misses it.

“The noise attracts the dead but it's worth it, just to get up above everything for a while everyday” Remy looks at him with a genuine smile on her face. “It’s pretty cool, I’ve always wanted to fly in a plane.” He gently smiles back at her.

“Alright.. There you go”. He gestures towards the room, clearly wanting to get this awkward moment over with. You, Carol, and Remy make your way into the small room, getting as comfortable as you can. There's a few heavy blankets in the room as well so, at least you’ll be warm for the night.

“Thank you..for everything.” You turn to give him a lighthearted smile, keeping up this facade. Ash shuts and locks the door behind him, finally you and Carol have a moment to come up with another plan. You need to get him on your side somehow, he knows how to operate a plane, he's useful.

Remy is already dead-asleep, she’s always been a heavy sleeper. Something that will get you killed if you’re not careful but she knows she’s safe, especially with you and Carol.

“So..What are you thinking?” You and Carol sit down on the floor next to Remy, speaking in your normal tones, knowing she wouldn’t wake up if a tornado came through.

“I’m not entirely sure..We need to find out more about him. Somehow we need to stay longer, do some digging.”

“Alright..we can think about it more tomorrow, I don’t know about you but those blankets look really good right now.” Carol smirks at you, but not without looking at the make-shift bed herself. It does look very comfy.

“Goodnight Y/N.” She moves to get under the blankets, and get in her signature sleep postion, you do the same.

“Night Carol..” 

You can’t sleep, your mind is racing at the thought that Ash can help you find Daryl, and what you could do to get him on board with flying to Europe. You can’t stop thinking about all the negatives and everything that could go wrong while doing this, the plane won’t make it without a couple stops along the way–who knows what you’ll run into during them–, you could hit a bad storm and die in that death trap, you’d be putting your daughter at even more risk; flying into the unknown.

Is it worth it?.. Of course it is, it’s Daryl. You’ve made it this far you can’t give up now. You could never give up on Daryl, he’s done too much for you..for Remy. He’s family, you’d do anything for family–that’s what you thought when he first started going back outside the walls, looking for Rick after 10 years. Honestly It’d be a miracle if Rick was still alive but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. Why would he not come back if he was still living, he knows where Alexandria is..Hilltop...

It feels like a long shot but if that’s what Daryl had to do to sleep at night, who were you to tell him no? You two made a deal, He would search for a little, but no more than a couple weeks at a time. That way he could still have a little peace in his life knowing that he’s trying but also spending time with his family, watching his kids grow.

The first fight you and Daryl had about the entire situation was stupid, the only reason it happened was because you were frustrated that you barely saw him anymore, that Remy barely saw him anymore. Daryl was frustrated because he felt like you didn’t want him looking anymore, that he should just give up, pretend like Rick never existed and move on with his life.

 You made up barely an hour later, both realizing you shouldn’t be arguing at a time like this. Tensions were high and it was a spur-of-the-moment argument. Your brain is getting foggy now, thinking of memories with Daryl made your mind calm. You’re falling asleep, now less anxious than you were when you first laid down, eager to wake up tomorrow and continue your search.

Hope you enjoyed! Like I said I spent alot of time on this so super excited!! Chapter 2 coming soon!! 💚💚

(also if you would like to see Remy’s design I had in mind dm me!!!)

Translations:

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur." -- I love you with all my heart.

[kentocidal]

50. (Fluff) "this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you." with Katsuki Bakugo

uploading file bakugou50.txt . . . upload complete !

this file contains the following key words: hurt/comfort but vaguely, mostly fluff, bkg comes back from a mission and you’re still there for him

internal message: i love bakugou. i love mha it’s a sick brainrot i have. if there’s any errors don’t say them to me i’m sick ok. leave me alone

new notification ! @kaedescara @yaekiss (want your own notification? send me an ask off anon!)

he came in through the window.

you were sleeping, or at least trying to, considering your bed always felt empty when he was away on long missions. not to mention the fact that you were worried because you hadn’t heard from him in, like, five days, but who’s counting?

you were. you were counting. five days 18 hours 31 minutes and 17 seconds without hearing back from one mister katsuki bakugou, the love of your life, one of the biggest pro-heroes in japan.

it hadn’t been uncommon, not by a long shot, but you hated it nonetheless.

however, in the present, it was as if he had heard your stuffy dreams and worries and came back to your aid, pushing up the window from outside (you didn’t have a balcony, by the way) and landing on your bedroom floor with a low thump.

you sat up straight in bed, now on high alert, ready to activate your own quirk at the intruder, but instead you were met with the darkened figure of your beloved. you sucked in a small breath as his eyes caught the streetlights just right.

he looked… he looked completely lost. a shell of himself.

he came back like this sometimes. not always, because he was older and more resilient now, but… sometimes he came back empty. and him climbing through the window and staring at you in the dark just goes to show that this was one of those times.

“katsuki…” you sighed softly, trying to make light of the situation, “you’re back. you scared the shit out of me, you know.”

he just stood there for another moment before wordlessly dropping his gauntlets to your bedroom floor, one at a time, making you flinch at the weight of them hitting the ground. “kats, what did i say about dropping your stuff like that? you’re gonna put holes in our floors.” 

he grunted in response, sucking his teeth as he kicked one boot off, then the next, and you watched as something dark smeared across the floor. dirt? blood? you weren’t sure. you didn’t want to know. 

bakugou moved then, finally closer to you, his large, lumbering form suddenly dropping to his knees at your bedside and making you take in a breath of worry. “katsuki? what’s going on? what happened?”

you shifted closer to the edge of the bed, and that simply allowed him to scooch closer to you and drop his cheek to your lap over the covers, reaching for your hands.

you blinked at him. he must have seen things you’ll never know of. he’ll keep it to himself, most likely, no matter how hard you try to get him to open up.

your one hand found its way to his hair, your other entwining fingers with his. you scratched his scalp, felt the sweat and the grime of fighting. his hand was wet and you hoped it was sweat. you couldn’t tell in the dark.

“you’re an angel.”

“what?” you carded your fingers through his hair and squeezed his hand. 

“you’re a fuckin’ angel, that’s what i said.” he snapped right back at you, but there was no edge to it. “you’re always waitin’ for me to come back ‘n shit. even when i probably smell disgusting.”

he did, but that was besides the point. “honey, it’s okay. i understand. just because i wait for you doesn’t make me an angel. makes me a damn good partner, though.”

“i’m going to marry you,” he mumbled into the blankets over your lap, burying his face more into your clothed thighs, and you squeaked softly.

“katsuki, are you- i think you’re still running on fumes. adrenaline. don’t make promises you don’t want to keep.”

"this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you." he shifted his head in your lap to look up at you with those carmine eyes you had known for years by now. “i will. i’m gonna fuckin’ marry you. soon, too. i’ll do it right. shit like this makes me know i will.’

you felt your cheeks warm as you petted his hair in the dark, smiling softly at him. “i know you will. i’ll let you marry me… if you shower before getting into bed tonight.” “let me stay here for a little longer.”

“i am.”

[echantedtoon]

Heavenly Lights

After a particular bad start to your celebration being chosen as the wife to the God of Festivals, a surprising turn happens that enchants you forever in the heavenly lights.

This is once again inspired by the artwork of @lelee-tdn and their artwork depicting Tengen as a literal God of Festivals. I'll link it below but warning it IS spicy art. So if you're 17 and below pls DNI as respect to the artist's wishes. It's pretty short but I wanted to write something for this man you have no idea.)

https://www.tumblr.com/lelee-tdn/697936924738977792/cw-suggestive-mdni-the-god-of-festivals?source=share

Fireworks are chaos and unpredictability. Their explosive gifts like heaven's art. Filling the night with their bright dreams, born to live through colour then die again. The spectators seeing their blazing trails arc above. There's something about them that warms the heart even in the cold, as if their stray sparks passed into their blood. 

So tell me why must the heavenly lights bring amongst their happy lights such sorrows?

Why must such sorrows take a hold of your skin at the time of happiness amongst the hundreds of others laughing at the company of others and the dazzling gleam of lights reflecting off their eyes like hundreds of tiny mirrors to the souls. The laughter's ambience and joyous sights held nothing within the mind of one that found nothing but sorrows. 

You felt no happiness when your name was called by the oracle.

Felt no spark when you were ushered away to be properly dressed up as beautiful as the lights in the sky.

Felt no hope despite the emense dancing of the crowds and the joyous laughter they exuded towards the heavenly lights of the dark abyss. 

Filling their heads with joy and their hearts with warmth. 

However lights were not going to be able to help you in your predicament and fortune unless you leave. Leave the center of fired hearts set ablaze. Dash away from the lights. Cloak yourself in the darkness far away until the next morning when the grandness of lights would finally be dowsed by the sun.

To her freedom remained intact and her life not taken.

The music of the giant celebration gently flowed throughout and between the beautiful decorations wrapped around the walls of buildings. The way the candles inside lanterns lit up the surroundings and made the shadows beautifully dance against the walls. The way the smell of delicious foods being sold by vendors and the thick gunpowder and smoke wafted through the air. The beautiful music mixing with the laughter and talking of the guests around the lights. 

It was almost like a dream. Everyone having a great time behind their happy faces, no one telling who they were or maybe that was all part of the game. The fun of not knowing who you were speaking too and being able to be your own person tonight. But maybe she wasn't meant to join the fun and laughter that everyone else seemed to be having. Being maskless and alone wondering the world was the lonely fate of the girl in the flowing white dress. Blindly walking and circles, moving around. The sounds, the smells, the atmosphere. It was starting to make her dizzy. Everyway she'd turn she would catch a glimpse of a man with red eyes.

Those familiar red eyes. The ones she both dreaded and feared yet found beauty in every festival that has arisen for the past two years. The eyes that were telling her to come forth and watch the lights being driven by the emotions running amock through them and outward into the nights.

Very familiar red eyes. 

Her dizzied mind knew not to be afraid or excited about the way it gazed and pierced her soul. The way he looked at her with those beautiful wine red eyes. Promising only trouble ahead. Well maybe she was looking for trouble, her head was kept on a swivel, always looking around herself in the see of marked laughter. Sometimes she'd catch a glimpse of red or maybe it was just her clouded emotional mind. At this point she didn't know if she was searching for him or trying to ensure she was far from him. But however she put it, the circles and laughter was starting to get dizzier and dizzier. She barely noticed when someone tall bowed to her. Grabbed her hand. And lead her to dance. Maybe it was because she was temporarily blinded by the lights casting shadows upon his face, or the swirls of the graceful dance they spun. But there was no mistaking those red eyes. Perhaps she was crazy. Perhaps her dizzy mind was clouding any judgement. Maybe she was under some kind of spell from those red eyes. But when those eyes smiled at her-

She couldn't look away from them. 

Nor could she deny the magnetic static that clung to them both with every step of the dance, with fabric flowing and laughter crowding their brains or the way the intoxication of lights seemed to light his body like an ancient celestial being long since remembered. The addiction of the smells of carnival foods and faint scent of gunpowder coming from his every step. Or the smile that seemed to ignite the lights above them. Giving them that first match, that starting spark all fireworks needed in order to truly be brought to life.

"Flashy aren't they?"

You did not know if he spoke of the lights or of the eyes you couldn't escape the sight of. Smiking at you possibly brighter than the sun himself. It's euphoric glow seemingly bland compared to this man's radiant gleam and shine. 

"How about beautiful?"

You know not how you came to find the words nor not how you were about to light the eyes with surprise but when they shined at you with the dazzle of a lot fire, you found yourself burning back up to fizzle out and die in those eyes like the fireworks they were made for.

[sunshiline-writes]

A Rose Amidst Thorns #17: Dirt and Oranges

Previous | Masterlist | Next

This chapter is a bit chunky! Hope it makes up for the wait LMFAO. word count:3.9k CW: emotional whump, gaslighting, dissociation, some amnesia, ableism, POC whump, fade to black noncon, self deprecating, hand feeding, confinement, captivity, mentions of minor whump (blink and you miss it), aftermath of hand whump, disability whump, let me know if I missed anything

The hayloft wasn’t too bad. He had a thin blanket for the night time and every few days, Xavier or Jesse switched the manacle on his ankle to the other so it didn’t chafe too much. All he had to do was behave. Wake up with the sun and when he saw the top of their hair above the ladder, he waited on his knees. His knees were bruised constantly and so was what little was left of his ego. 

Xavier had started to let him down in the barn to clean the stalls, start polishing the saddles, and cleaning the tools. He’d even been given a bucket and a towel, told to clean his own blood off the barn wall. Blood stained. Migel didn’t know that before he started to scrub at the wall with cramping hands. Ah yes. His hands. His hands were, quite plainly, fucked to all hell. His left hand was better off. It always felt tight and there was a scar right in the middle of his palm, circular where it always hurt the most. His right hand. His right hand was the worst of it. It had been set as best as it could, but his fingers still looked wrong. Some of them still bent a little the wrong way. That was the least of his problems though.The problem was the way his hand was curled like he was about to make a fist but stopped midway through. Straightening his fingers outward was excruciating and curling into a real fist was also painful. 

Looking at them too much made his skin crawl and his stomach twist. So mostly he just avoided looking. But signing had become an arduous process too. It made him angry, even though it wasn’t allowed. Somehow, Xavier had been patient with him when he was figuring out how to grab the rake to clean out the stalls. Even offering advice and helping him figure out a grip. Xaviers mood swings made Miguel dizzy sometimes. 

There was a brightside. Jesse was still mostly the same. The torment was the same. Fake sweetness followed by an angry backhand to the face. Mocking the state of his hands and then softly massaging them so that they felt better. The push and pull was familiar. He was used to that. Xavier had been oddly sweet… Just sweet. Providing words of encouragement and comfort. He hadn’t hurt him in weeks. Miguel preferred him when he was playing mind games. Maybe it was because he had stopped fighting. He didn’t know. Most of the time.. He was too tired to really try and figure it out either. 

Today the rays coming through the barn window were soft and warm on his face as he awoke. He half wanted to go back to sleep. But they would have his head if he was still asleep when they came up the ladder. He pushed himself up on his cot, tried to do the exercises for his hands that Solomon had given to him. When that failed, he stared at the wall, trying to remember what got him here. 

Miguel had lost time. That much he knew. There was a period of time he didn’t remember. After Jesse.. In Solomon's bed.. He shook himself  free of the memory. It was better if he didn’t remember. He could stand missing time. It had happened many times before. To be honest, Miguel didn’t remember much of his first year here. The entirety of his thirteenth year of life was a distant blur, only recalling bits and pieces. He didn’t feel like trying to remember. It wasn’t worth it.

There were certain memories that stood out among the rest. A gun hot and heavy in his hands pointed at Xaviers face, burning pain on his chest, the smell of melted skin, and lots of darkness. He spent so much time blindfolded when he was thirteen, unaware of his surroundings. Moving through the darkness like drowning in a lake. Miguel mostly just accepted that he would never know exactly what they did to him that year. 

He did wish he remembered some things before he was taken. He had siblings once. He knew that. His sister's faces were fuzzy. Sophia had dark hair that curled into a nest on her head and was shorter than him even though she was older. Marisol’s hair was longer and more brown. She had soft hands. He remembered Jaime the most though. He was smaller than him. The smallest of the four of them. Jaime used to run around a lot. His father used to call him travieso, but he would smile while he did. Miguel assumed that was because for all the mischief his brother liked to cause, he was harmless. 

Harmless fun. When was the last time he had that? Before Xavier? Before he could remember? Miguel tried to hold onto their faces, to the way they looked when they laughed. But they were fading. All of them were fading away from him like water through his hands. The tighter he held, the more they slipped away from him. It had been eight years since he’d seen their faces or felt their touch. All of it seemed to escape from him. They never came for him. He remembered that. His parents gave him up to a devil, demiono, and never even tried. Miguel shouldn’t be thinking about them at all. Yet here he was, lost in his thoughts, wondering what life could have been if they had at least tried. 

It wouldn’t have made a difference, but at least he would have known he was loved once. Real love. Not whatever Xavier and Jesse had to show him. Jesse’s constant need to be feared and loved at the same time. Xavier’s desperateness for Miguel to rely on him for everything. None of it was real love. He wondered if the two of them ever had been held or hugged. If someone had hugged them when they needed it, would they have been different? Could they ever be different? 

Miguel was thinking too much again. He did that sometimes. His mind always moved faster and faster until they dug him into a hole he couldn’t get out of. Sometimes, when he thought too much, a sinking feeling would rise in his chest. Make him feel like a cave, hollow and dark. When he felt hollow, he would go to Solomon, help him with his chores. Make up new ones to keep himself occupied until the feeling passed. If the feeling didn’t pass, sometimes his chest collapsed. It never actually collapsed, it only felt like it did. Like all the emotions and memories were sitting on his chest at all times and sometimes they broke his bones. Then everything was painful and it was hard to breathe. 

It happened sometimes before he came to the ranch. When it did, his father would hold him close to his chest, make Miguel feel his pulse, and hum. The vibrations were always calming, following along with the pulse, his fathers steady breathing. Solomon would hold him sometimes. But now all he felt was a sinking emptiness in the pit of his stomach the longer and longer he spent alone in the hayloft. He’d grown so used to company. To the feeling of other people around. Especially Solomon. Miguel had forgotten what it was like to feel lonely. 

Loneliness was killing him. So much so that he had begun to look forward to his visits from Jesse and Xavier. Heart racing when he saw them. Even if it was just to make sure the manacle hadn’t chafed his ankle too much, give him food or water, and take out his waste bucket. Simple things like Xavier running a hand through his hair, or Jesse wrapping a hand around his throat made him ache for more touch. More anything. At least now he had jobs to do. Taking care of the barn, cleaning the saddles and boots when they came back from rides. He cherished his time down from the hayloft. Even if he was watched like a hawk all of the time. Even if no one dared to talk or look at him. 

Today was no different. When he saw the shocking red hair appear from the ladder, he got on his knees. At least they didn’t hurt anymore when he did it. Or maybe they did, he was just used to it by now. 

Jesse had a bucket in one hand, and his other hand was behind his back, hiding something. What was he hiding? It made his stomach sink to his knees too. 

Morning mutt, Jesse said, grinning from ear to ear. Walking toward him and putting down the bucket with a thud. He looked up and squinted at Jesse’s face. He seemed chipper. Happy and less angry. There was something wrong here. Miguel moved to look at the bucket but Jesse grabbed at his hair, pulling him back and making his neck arch painfully. He whined, breathing picking up. Maybe Jesse is in a mood today. 

Jesse lifted Miguel to be face to face with him, making Miguel grunt and one hand wrapped around Jesse’s wrist. 

Close your eyes and open your mouth for me kid, Jesse said, licking inside his ear again just to see him squirm. Miguel came to a realization of what he wanted from him. Was this the reason for being so chipper? He just wanted a hole to fuck? Open them and I’ll get out the blindfold and the bridle and I’ll leave you like that to do your chores. 

It wouldn’t be the first time Jesse’s done that. Left him to his own devices when he’s blindfolded. He wouldn’t doubt that Jesse would do it again. So he just closed his eyes and tried to relax. Let his mouth hang open as Jesse slowly lowered him back down, releasing his hair. Miguel only wanted to be done. Get his breakfast, do his chores, come back and sleep. That was all he wanted. The darkness was enough to try and consume his thoughts. He waited for the salty taste of sweat and come on his tongue. Nothing came. 

Not for a while at least. Miguel’s mouth was getting dry from sucking breaths in through it. Then something was placed in his mouth, soft and almost pillowy. A finger under his chin pushed slightly to make him close his jaw. Miguel bit into the citrus in his mouth, cool juice exploding over his tongue. The taste was sweet and tart, spreading into every corner of his mouth. He chewed and he let it sit a bit longer before he swallowed. He opened his mouth again eagerly, awaiting another slice. A finger tapped against his eyelids and Miguel opened his eyes, staring up at Jesse with an orange in his hand. 

He was smiling. Good right? You want some more? 

Miguel kept his mouth open, nodding. He wanted more of that orange, he hadn’t had much more than stale bread and water for his time in the hayloft. It was the sweetest thing he’d had in a while. 

Two more slices of orange were placed in his mouth and he chewed greedily. Tongue slipping over Jesse’s fingers that sullied the taste a bit with dirt. He didn’t care. Miguel no longer cared about much anymore.The shattered remains of his dignity were on the floor in front of him. Along with drops of his blood. And the last of it was being stolen from his body from fingers that tasted of dirt and oranges.

He could barely remember what it felt to be a person anymore. If he ever was one in the first place.

You’re being real good today aren’t you? Here’s some more, Jesse said, an amused smile on his face as he gently placed another slice on his tongue. With every slice, Miguel could feel himself slipping deeper and deeper into desperation. He was desperate for more of the sweetness, even if it was made slightly bitter by the taste of dirt. Dirt and oranges. Was this what had become of him? Begging for scraps. 

My uncle got them for Hen. She asked for some from the market. I managed to steal some from the crate before– Miguel didn’t see the rest of what Jesse said. He had turned away from him and Miguel whined as Jesse stepped back. Jesse wore that same grin as he did, wiping his hand on his pants to try and rid himself of the juices from the orange. I don’t have any more, mutt. If you’re real good today, maybe you’ll get some more before I take you back. 

With that, Jesse flicked out his hand. The man tilted his head slightly to the side. Clean my hand, you can have the last of the juice. 

Miguel burned with shame as he moved, grabbing Jesse’s fingers and sucking on them. 

Dirt and oranges. He wished Jesse always tasted like this. Jesse’s fingers were rough and calloused, but he did his best. Swirling his tongue around them, in between, trying to get at every last taste of orange. Jesse pulled his hand back and a trail of saliva came away, connecting Miguel's mouth to Jesse’s hand. He almost retched at the sight. Disgusted with himself.. with Jesse. With his predicament. All of it was almost too much. He was angry and tired and he just wanted to sleep. 

Instead, Jesse moved to unlock the manacle from his ankle. The skin there, angry and red. It was time to switch legs when they got back. 

The rest of Miguel’s day went in a blur. He was far away. Following instructions. Cleaning the horses, washing them as Jesse watched with mock interest. He cleaned the bridles, including the one that was reserved for him. He didn’t think about it. Miguel found that when he didn’t think as much, everything got easier. 

Brush, clean, walk. Brush, clean, walk. Taking walks with Jesse or Xavier had become normal as well. Jesse walked with him around the ranch, taking the black draft horse with them. It walked behind them at a leisurely pace. They didn’t talk. Jesse was unusually quiet and it filled Miguel with dread. Sinking into his stomach and into his legs. They turned around to go back to the bark, a breeze making the day cooler. A minor help from the brazing sun hot on the back of neck. 

Jesse waved to get his attention and Miguel looked at the other man. 

Do you ever think about them? Your family before you came here? 

Miguel frowned. He wasn’t allowed to think about them. Let alone talk about them. He narrowed his eyes at Jesse, cautious. Why was he asking this? Why did Jesse look so tired? What was happening outside the hayloft that was making Jesse ask questions that weren’t allowed? The hair on the back of his neck raised, sensing some sort of danger. Miguel shrugged in response to the question, an attempt of playing it safe. 

Sometimes I think about my mother before I came here. Do you think about yours?

A memory shattered through the fog in the back of his brain. His mother running her hands through his hair, untangling the curls. Gentle fingers rubbing his earlobes, the soft rumbling vibrations that meant laughter. The tiredness that came from being safe in his mothers lap. 

Miguel found himself nodding without his permission. Jesse nodded along with him. It was almost normal. A conversation he would have had with a friend. Precious and intimate. Miguel couldn’t let himself feel like that though. If he started to think of Jesse as more than just the person who hurt him, he’d never make it out alive. 

Don’t worry. I miss my mom too. I won’t tell Xavier. 

He took that sentence, those words and held them close to himself. Jesse was just another person who missed his mom. Miguel didn’t know what to do with that information. He could throw it out, leave it with the rest of the darkness he didn’t remember. Or he could keep it close, a reminder that Jesse was just a person. A bad person. But a person nonetheless. Miguel decided that he would save a decision like that for later. 

The man walked on. Leading the horse back to the dreaded barn, back to the hayloft. Back to where everything would be awful again. He suppressed a shudder. Keeping his head straight, not looking at Jesse. Not ignoring him but not inviting him in for more conversation either. Miguel no longer wanted to think about mothers and fathers and brothers. He just wanted to put the horse back in the stable and make it back to the hayloft in one piece. 

Something caught his eye, a movement to his left. It made his heart stop, his stomach drop. Miguel's hands tightened their grip on the lead of the horse, the pain somewhere distant. Everything else was distant. Solomon was walking out of the house, down the steps. Staring at him too. How long had it been? How long since he’d even been allowed to ask if the man was alive? Something in him compelled him to let go of the horse's lead. He took a step toward Solomon. Solomon took a step toward him. Signing something, saying something. 

His face was bruised to all hell, brown skin covered in fading green and yellow blotches. Solomon's eyes looked so tired. So fearful. Miguel couldn’t help himself. He ran toward the man. The man who helped him, who raised him, who never once left his side unless he was forced to. He took only a few steps before a hand wrapped around his waist and yanked him backwards. Solomon stopped in his tracks. Literally feet away, if Miguel reached he could almost touch him. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to hug and let himself be held by the only person who ever provided any true comfort. But the arm around his waist started to drag him backwards. 

Something in him ignited. He fought, kicking and dragging his heels in the dirt. Nails digging into Jesse’s freckled skin on his arms. Drawing blood. There was a sinking feeling as Jesse continued to drag him. Solomon took a few steps forward, reached out to him. Miguel reached back out to him and their fingers touched. A tingling spread through him and he could feel his throat tighten. He was so close, so close and he was being dragged away again. 

Was it worth it? To hug the man he considered a father? Was it worth the punishment that awaited him? His body seemed to act again without his permission as he threw his head backwards. Skull cracking against Jesse’s lips. Jesse’s arm around him loosened and he wiggled out of the hold, sprinting toward his caretaker until his arms were wrapped around Solomon’s waist. Breathing in his scent. 

Solomon always smelled of earth and rosemary. Arms wrapped tightly around him and Miguel buried his face into the man's chest. Solomon was warm and safe. Every memory he had that was ever good of his time here included Solomon. He didn’t want to let go. He couldn’t. If he did, he was afraid that he would never be able to see him again. Something in his chest broke. Shattered right into pieces. And it released out his eyes and mouth, flowing out of him like a river. Was he screaming? Wailing? There was wetness on Solomon's shirt and Miguel wailed harder. Hands curling into the soft fabric of his clothes. His whole body shuddered with his cries. 

Slowly, gently, Solomon lowered them both to sit on the ground. Miguel in his lap and curled into his shirt. Sobbing softly at the warmth of another person. Solomon slowly rocked Miguel back and forth, holding him like a small child, until his cries stopped. When he stopped, Miguel finally found the courage to look Solomon in the eye. 

Hello she’awee. You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay. Jesse’s going to take you now. You go with him. You go with him and you live and you keep on going. Do not give up yet. Please. For me. Don't you give up. Miguel took in a shuddering breath as Solomon wiped his tears. Jesse’s cold and calloused hand yanked him by the shirt into a standing position. Shoving him to move forward. Away from Solomon who stayed on the ground. He forced himself to look ahead, to not look back. If he looked back he wouldn’t make it. With every step a part of him faded deeper and deeper into itself. Until when they were back into the barn and the world smelled of horse manure again, he was no longer there. 

He was outside his body, watching Jesse march him up the ladder. Watching as Jesse shoved him down to his knees and locked the manacle around his ankle again. 

Don’t fucking.. Come back. You asshole, Jesse said, slapping him across the face. Miguel blinked and he was back in his body. Seeing it through fresh eyes. Looking up at Jesse. You with me? 

“Yes.” Miguel answered lamely with his hand, tears welling in his eyes again. A sharp pain came across his cheek. 

Don’t you dare fucking cry. You fucking ran. You went to Sol, you’re not supposed to do that you fucking shit. I thought Xavier burned those rules into you. You aren’t even supposed to mention him and you fucking ran toward him. 

Oh. Oh he really was in trouble wasn’t he? Xavier was going to kill him this time. Or worse, kill Solomon. Jesse grabbed his chin with a bruising grip and he leaned in real close. Even his breath smelled of oranges and dirt. 

I won’t tell if you act like you want it. If you’re real convincing, I might even be gentle, he said, shoving Miguel backwards on his back. The wind knocked out of his chest. Miguel instinctively crawled backward. Are you angry yet Miguel? Jesse asked as he pulled tighter on the chain that held him. You can be angry. I promise. You wanna go back out? Go see Solomon?  Come on.. he drawled, crawling over Miguel on the floor. Hovering over him. Or do you wanna stay with me?

Nausea rose in his throat and he whimpered. But he brought a hand to Jesse’s chest and looked up at him 

“I want to stay with you,” he signed slowly. One hand snaking behind Jesse’s neck to pull him close. Pressing their lips together.  

Good boy. 

And Miguel closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wooden floor. 

He focused on the smell of dirt and oranges. He pretended that the scent was something comforting. Something easy to stomach. When Jesse was done, Miguel was hand fed another orange. He told himself he was content with that.

 He was still hungry. 

Do not give up yet. Please. For me. Don't you give up. Miguel wouldn’t, but he wasn’t sure how much left of him there would be by the time hope came round again. But maybe it would. Maybe it would and there would still be a piece or two left of him to save. He could be a better dog for someone else. For someone kind. 

__ TAGLIST:

Taglist:

@demondamage @burntcoffeewhump @angst-after-dark @just-a-silly-little-whumper @tictac-murder-spaghetti @crash-bump-bring-the-whump @whumpifi

@flowersarefreetherapy @badgerwhump @whumpbees @whumplr-reader @cyberwhumper

ask if you'd like to be added or removed!!

[cyberabbit]

For the character ask game, please could you do Ness?

Oh absolutely, I'm already one step away from writing a Ness manifesto!

I love Ness so much. His design right away- dead behind the eyes, soft, and something about him coming through as small despite being a pro football player. With everything from chapter 361.

2. That he got into football off the back of wanting to believe in everyday magic. It's cute.

3. It's not about him, but I hate the position he's sitting in of being blindly loyal to Kaiser. I hope he gets to make more friends.

4. He seems like someone misplaced a Dangan Ronpa character, but he deserves better. My first fandom was Shaman King and I think he'd be a great character in that.

5. Both "Fast Car" by Tracey Chapman and "Would?" by Alice in Chains.

6. AHAHAHAHA WOW OK. Ness is the other character in Blue Lock I look at and go oh no, same. We both attach ourselves easily to people and can't tell that they don't always have our best interests at heart.

7. Blue Lock fans are really good at writing Ness' unhinged responses to others, especially in relation to Kaiser. I don't think he's above putting thumbtacks in Isagi's cleats.

8. The fandom can have a habit of going to extremes with him - either making him completely soft-pure-innocent, or making him aggressively unhinged to the point he's unrecognisable. Yes, he's been heavily manipulated from being isolated and daydreaming, but he's still had all those other interactions with other characters- he still sabotages and threatens for the sake of someone else.

9. Probably couldn't be roommates with him. One of us would fly off the handle for a small reason and it'd come crumbling down. Also, two people prone to attaching in unhealthy relationships are probably a housemate match in hell.

10. Absolutely friends though! We're both the kind of weirdos who'd get into spooky LARP, make up fantasy worlds and infodump about witchcraft history while kicking a ball around.

11. Ness is very much not my type of partner! I couldn't handle someone idolising me, or tolerate Kaiser being a factor.

12. He's still an avid reader, and will devour both romantic fantasy and magical realism fiction. He wants to visit Disneyland with friends, particularly Kaiser. Also I'm a BPD Ness truther.

13. While :> makes me think of him, I think he'd use ❤️ a lot!

14. He's a dark academica girlie, but not the grey-beige kind. He's the intersection of the nerd-goth axis. Dark academia at Halloween.

15. I like Kainess because it's radioactive levels of toxic. I think he needs to be on his own and have friends before he needs a relationship, really, but I think Kurona/Ness is cute (+ I read a fic where Hiori was involved too). Nanase/Ness could be cute too?

16. There isn't a Ness ship I don't like. There isn't really much for him beyond Kaiser, Isagi and Kurona!

17. Isagi/Ness. It's fine I guess? I just wouldn't read it. It'd be cool if they became friends though.

18. Ness doesn't really have anything in the way of other relationships in canon, and the one he does have... ooft no, too relatable.

19. I don't dislike it, I think it's great in the story, but how his relationship with Kaiser is makes me so sad.

20. Nanase! Give Ness an emotional support Nanase! I think he'd be good friends with Kurona and Hiori too... maybe even Bachira. Add him to the Just Little Guys gang. Especially because I don't think Hiori would tolerate him exploding, but handle it well.

21. He's fun to write when you explore his interests outside of football! I like to imagine how he'd dress, decorate his space, and how football is part of it but not the same as characters like Barou or Isagi where football is football- with Ness, it's part of his daydreaming and attempts to connect with the world around him in a whimsical way. Sometimes when I write him I feel like I focus on him being mentally ill that it clouds writing everything else when they should all actually be interacting together.

22. My fic likes & dislikes are the same as my answers to how I feel about his fandom interpretation!

23. The panel where he's smiling at Kaiser in the shower. Did it ever actually happen? Who knows.

24. Mikan Tsumiki from Dangan Ronpa. Kaiser is just Junko Enoshima. Trust me on this one.

25. I thought he was cute and absolutely unhinged. Now it's sort of the same but I think he deserves a blanket, a hug and a big pretzel.

26. I truly hope Ness realises his worth and Kaiser has to come to terms with losing him!

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless Part 17 sorry for not posting yesterday

“So, di Angelo."

"I'm hopeless aren't I?"

"I mean there's still hope, you just need to not mess up.”

“I’m not good at that.”

“Luckily for you there’s motivation.”

“What?”

“You can’t lie until you and Nico kiss."

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!"

"Calm down, what are you hiding anyways Solace."

"When I heal people I feel all their pain, I almost killed myself, I'm useless, I'm hopelessly in love with someone who is halfway to death, I glow in the dark, I'm only alive on necter and ambrosia, I would kill every single Demeter kid right now if I could, I pass out really often but I can feel it before hand so I hide in my office when it's about to happen so no one knows. Fuck. Shit." Will ran towards the forest with tears in his eyes but Piper ran after him,

"Wait." Piper charmspoke when they were in the middle of the forest, it was dangerous but neither of them cared in that moment.

"Oh fuck you, leave me alone."

"Will-"

"If you tell anybody a word of what I said I swear to Apollo I will rip you apart limb for limb McLean." Piper shivered, Will couldn't lie...

"Breathe. In and out, I'm going to unpack a bit of what you said alright? If it's too much tell and I'll stop." Will just nodded barely breathing as Piper sat down beside him, "You feel everyone's pain when you heal them?"

"It's a trade off, if people knew they wouldn't let me heal everyone."

"Doesn't that mean you're almost constantly in pain?"

"It's worth it."

"What do you feel right now?"

"Broken rib, last time I healed Nico. I mean I feel other things from a week ago but they all would have healed a bit by now so it's not as bad. I've been on painkillers anyways, practically high on them at this point."

"That's-"

"-not heathly, I'm fully aware but I don't give two fucks."

"Alright, you tried to kill yourself? Why? Are you alright?"

"After the Manhattan battle, Michael and Lee... I was on the bridge but I met someone there. We convinced each other to not jump, I realised I couldn't leave Kay and Austin alone. They lost two older brothers in the war, they wouldn't be losing a third. I still sometimes wish I'd done it, but they can't be alone."

"Will, show me your wrists."

"No, fuck off."

"Will-"

"Don't act like you fvcking care, leave me alone."

"Will, I care. I just want to make sure you're okay, don't make me charmspeak you."

"Fine." Will muttered in tears, rolling up the sleeves of his hoodie. His arms were covered in shallow, red, cuts, Piper counted 14 on one arm and 17 on the other. She pulled the crying boy into a hug,

"I'm here for you."

"I feel so useless, I've never been on a quest, I can barely fight, I'm not half as good of a healer as Micheal was. Everyone would be better off without me, the Demeter kids agree."

"Never say that again okay? Almost all of camp would be dead without you."

"I couldn't save them, it's my fault."

"You still saved all those people; you didn't kill anyone Will."

"I didn't help them either, it's my fault they died."

"No it's not, you tried to save them."

"But I didn't."

"You can't save everyone, some people are too close to dying."

"I should have saved them."

"It's impossible to save everyone, some people are too close to death."

"Micheal could have done it."

"People die Will, death is a part of existence. You can't delay every death, it's not your fault."

"It's the only good thing about me, healing people. If I can't do that well enough what's the point of me living?"

"William Andrew Solace listen to me, you can't save everyone. Even then you're worth more than your power, clearly considering I've had twelve people come to me asking how to make you like them. You're cool, funny, loyal, ridiculously smart as in smarter than half the Athena cabin, and you actually genuinely care about everyone."

"It's just, when they die on my watch. I feel like I killed them." A few second's of silence passed,

"When was the last time you cut?" Piper asked with caution not trying to upset Will any more then he already was.

"Two days ago, when I thought Nico might not make it. The thought of him dying, fuck." A tear rolled down his face and he pulled away from the daughter of Aphrodite.

"I'm going to find you a therapist okay? Do you think that'll help?"

"Yes, but I'm too scared to open up to people. Fvcking curse, I really want to punch Lou Ellen right now."

"I'll find someone that can help."

"Thank you."

"Do you want to talk more or is it too much?"

"Too much."

"Alright, just one thing."

"Yeah?"

"Nico's halfway to death?"

"Yes, I want to lock him in the infirmary because I don't know how much longer he'll last with the amount he's eating and drinking."

"Shit."

"Weren't you meant to be giving me advice on how I can get him to like me?" Trying to change the topic, he wasn't exactly meant to be telling people this stuff.

"Oh rightttt that's what I was meant to be doing."

"I'm slightly more hopeful then I was a week ago, at least now I know he's gay."

"Who told you?" Piper asked reaching for her dagger,

"Nico...? We were playing twenty questions and I asked him if he was straight."

"Ohhh okay, so I don't need to kill anyone."

"I don't think so...?"

"Great, so Nico di Angelo, son of Hades. I think... show him you care but don't worry about him too much, honestly just be normal with him, he doesn't get that from most people. The most important thing, give him space but don't let him push you away, he does that a lot."

"Thanks McLean."

"It's my job." Piper said, messing up his hair.

"You said twelve people came to you trying to date me, who exactly were they?"

"Well it's meant to be confidential, but one of them was Leo when he first met you. Don't tell him told you, he will kill me."

"Leo Valdez? That's unexpected."

"The more you know Solace, the more you know. Anyways I should probably go, me and Annabeth are dying Percy's hair red."

"What?!"

"He's the little mermaid so naturally we're kidnapping him and dying his hair red."

"Well I wish you luck and I can't wait to see red-head Percy."

***

[isfjmel-phleg]

1, 4, 7, & 15-20 for Tenthragon; 2, 3, 9, & 10 for The Candymakers; and 9, 11, & 15-20 for The Secret Garden, please?

Tenthragon

1, what got you into this story?

At some point, I decided to read every Constance Savery novel I could get my hands on. The atmosphere and mystery drew me in, and I could hardly put it down.

4. assign this story a hyper-specific genre name, e.g. "inspirational religious semi-horror sci-fi western" (yes, that's Trigun)

Psychological-horror gothic mystery revenge-tragedy family-drama redemption story with fairy-tale motifs.

7. how does the story compare to your initial impressions of it? has it surprised you yet? how?

I didn't know what to expect of it going in, and I was surprised at how invested in it I became. It hasn't really surprised me on rereads, but I have never stopped being impressed.

15. what time are you most likely to be found reading/watching this story? (time of year, time of day, season of life, whatever makes sense to you)

I tend to get a hankering for it around Christmas. It's not an overtly Christmassy book, although there is a chapter set at that time, but for whatever reason my brain has designated it in that category.

16. do you think this story has broad appeal, or is it meant for a very specific audience? if it's more "niche", what kind of person would most enjoy this story?

It will definitely not be everyone's cup of tea. The depictions of abuse (mostly psychological/emotional) can be intense. (And it's not that I'm not sensitive to such things--I am!--but I sometimes find that reading about certain awful things in fiction helps me process.) The ending is vague and not everyone will find it satisfying. It's hard to classify, since the protagonist is a young child but the themes are more suitable for an older audience.

If you like dark, atmospheric stories dealing with complicated and difficult family relationships, but with an ultimately hopeful and redemptive worldview, you might like Tenthragon. That's a big might. I make no guarantees. Please don't come after me with sharp implements if you happen to read it and hate it :P

17. compare this story to your usual tastes. how does it differ from what you've already enjoyed?

It is a bizarre, bizarre story. The vague ending isn't typical of what I usually gravitate toward, but it works for me.

18. compare this story to your usual tastes. what parts of it are exactly the kind of thing you've always loved?

The eerie and atmospheric old house settings, family mysteries, and Sad Children get to me every time.

19. pitch an idea for a sequel or spinoff novel for this story!

I'd pick up right where the novel leaves off. The Tenthragon boys have made a lot of personal progress, but how are they going to handle moving forward now that the originator of much of their issues has returned and holds power over most of them?

20. what's the WORST thing about this story, in your opinion? (feel free to be positive, e.g. "it's not longer", if you want!)

The unanswered questions. The fact that there isn't a sequel. The fact that it's out of print and very difficult to find at a decent price so I can't easily inflict it on people.

The Candymakers

3. quickly list 3 things you like about the story!

The main cast, the use of multiple POVs to constantly shift our understanding of the narrative, the themes.

9. give the most UNHELPFUL and/or SILLY summary possible.

It's a light-hearted story about four children competing in a candymaking contest--nope, it's a coming-of-age drama--nope, it's a thriller--nope, it's a revenge tale--nope, it's still a light-hearted story about four children competing in a candymaking contest but now you're emotional about it.

10. if you made an amv about this, what song would you set it to?

Ohhh, this is difficult. Maybe "Another Believer."

The Secret Garden

9. give the most UNHELPFUL and/or SILLY summary possible.

Terrible child touches grass and gets an attitude adjustment, then passes the lesson along to a possibily even worse child.

11. if you were put in the main character's position, how well would that go for you on a scale of 1-5?

I would be a lot more compliant and ready to mind my own business, but I sure wouldn't get much plot moving. Maybe a 4.

15. what time are you most likely to be found reading/watching this story? (time of year, time of day, season of life, whatever makes sense to you)

Spring is TSG season around here!

16. do you think this story has broad appeal, or is it meant for a very specific audience? if it's more "niche", what kind of person would most enjoy this story?

It's a beloved classic, so yeah, it apparently has pretty broad appeal.

17. compare this story to your usual tastes. how does it differ from what you've already enjoyed?

This story has defined a lot of what I enjoy ever since I was seven, so I can't really think of anything.

18. compare this story to your usual tastes. what parts of it are exactly the kind of thing you've always loved?

So much. Terrible children with growth arcs. Atmospheric settings. A general sense of mystery. Etc.

19. pitch an idea for a sequel or spinoff novel for this story!

...you know, this is one of those stories where I'm actually pretty okay with leaving the characters where their story ends. I know they'll be fine, and I don't particularly care what they do when they grow up or who they're romantically involved with.

But a story focusing on the Sowerbys specifically might be fun.

20. what's the WORST thing about this story, in your opinion? (feel free to be positive, e.g. "it's not longer", if you want!)

I could live without Burnett's heavy-handed philosophizing toward the end of the book.

[dexalyys]

This is about the casino story I talked about SOooooooo..

Poker Deal is about four Teenagers, Jonathan, Charlie, Elijah, and Alex that come across a massive casino and decide to go in and have fun since it was summer. Charlie and Alex get wasted and gamble a lot. The Cardmaster decides to challenge them into one more round. If they win, they get 1 million dollars. If they lose however, their soul is his. Jonathan Knows something is off about this place but Charlie and Alex did not care. They sadly lost and now their souls are trapped. As for the other two, they are trying to find a way how they can free them and it can go back to normal. The story may be fun and cool but it holds a tragic past. Let’s hope John and Jacob can save the two. Who would want to leave someone to die?

Jonathan: Jonathan is a 17 year old trans boy with brown hair, an orange jacket, sunglasses and tan eyes. He is known to be the serious and cautious one in the story and usually thinks twice before he acts. Ever since his friend’s souls got trapped in the casino, He’s been trying to find a way to help them ever since. He would not sleep or even eat knowing the fact that the two are in danger. Elijah is highly concerned and tries to help him but Jonathan denies it. Jonathan has a little sister named Chloe and cares a lot for her. Jonthan identified as a female but did not really feel like one. Later on he found out he identifies as a male.

Charlie: Charlie is a 18 year old man with black hair, a gray hoodie, a star necklace and dark blue eyes. He is Hispanic but usually speaks English since his family got deported for unknown reasons. He was one of the victims of the card master and after his soul was trapped, he does not gamble that often anymore, since that’s what dragged him into this situation. He is Jonathan’s best friend along with Jacob and Alexander. He wants to be a clothing designer.

Elijah is an 18 year old boy with blond hair, dark green eyes along with a scar on one of his eyes, bandages, white pants and a black shirt with a yellow moon symbol. He can get really uncomfortable and can ignore people but sometimes he’s caring and sweet towards others. There was a tragic event that happened in his childhood and he lost some of his memory due to being hurt badly. He doesn’t really mind if people bully him, but if they bring up his mother, It’s a deathwish. He can get distracted very easily.

Alex is a 17 year old man with dark skin, black hair with a white streak, a black and red hoodie and angel with one being dark. He was an alcoholic and would fake his ID just so he could get some drinks. He would always annoy Ellijah and poke him around but still cares for him. He would drink to the point where he wheezes and laughs. He is pansexual and loves all genders.

Anthony is a 41 year old man with brown hair tied back in a ponytail, a blue police uniform, and green eyes. He is dating Francesco, who is his colleague. He did not have a good childhood since his father was alcoholic and used to beat him. The mother got him out of that mess. He used to have kidney cancer. He is partly German and can speak german. He has a few white hairs due to stress. Even if his girlfriend is partly a demon, he still respects her. He even plans on proposing to them.

I'll be talking about more characters soon!

WHERE DID ANTHONY COME FROM WHO IS THIS MAN

[lesp1een]

Little question game since I'm bored

• name: Giona (Spleen)

• relationship status: taken ❤️

• sexuality: gay homosexual (i also like girls)

• gender: male

• pronouns: he/him

• birthday: 17 of july

• zodiac sign: Sun-cancer, moon-libra, rising-virgo I think

• hair colour: dark brown

• eye colour: brown

• height: 165 cm

• weight: i dont remember

SPECIFICS ⬇️

• what brand of shampoo do you use? A vegan shampoo of a brand i don't remember but it smells good

• what are you currently listening to? Plastic Jesus - Tia Blake

• who were you on the phone with last? My aunt

FAVOURITES ⬇️

• favourite animal: DOGS, mice and rats, bunnies, snails, whales and cows

• favourite colour: green 🍃

• favourite drink: blonde beers, red wine, black tea

• favourite periodic table element: WHAT ARE THOSE

• favourite food: rice and pork, blueberries, lasagna, ramen and pasta with bacon and asparagus

• favorite game: disco elysium

• favourite show: south park

• favourite movie: I have a lot of them. Dog day afternoon, the first Rocky, Scarface, Thelma and Louise, Dance with the devil and Paris, Texas are some of them

• favourite song: the day that music died, a lot of janis joplin songs, sultans of swing, a lot of mf doom music

• favourite school subject: italian lit and philosophy

• favourite fruit: blueberries, cherries and grapes

HAVE YOU EVER... ⬇️

• have you ever given someone a bath? Only to my dogs

• have you ever smoked? I have an addiction 😂

• have you ever bungee jumped? Nope

• have you ever skinny dipped? No

• have you ever been in love? Yes!!

• have you ever made yourself cry to get out of trouble? I WISH I WAS ABLE TO DO IT

• have you ever pictured someone naked? Yes

• have you ever actually seen someone naked? Yes

• have you ever cried when someone died? Yes, a lot of times

• have you ever lied? Yes

• have you ever fallen for a close friend? Yes but it was only something platonic mistaken for a crush

• have you ever used someone? No, I hope not

• have you ever done something you regret? Some things buit my philosophy of life tells me that everything comes with a reason, even bad decisions

CURRENT... ⬇️

• current clothes: white wife beater and marvel shorts

• current desktop picture: sylvester stallone collage

• current cd in CD player: janis joplin- cheap thrills

• current dvd in dvd player: i dont have a dvd player anymore

WHO'S THE LAST PERSON... ⬇️

• who's the last person you touched? My boyfriend

• who's the last person you hugged? My boyfriend

• who's the last person you kissed? My boyfriend ❤️

• who's the last person you talked to? My flatmate

• who's the last person you sexted with? I dont do sexting that's gotta be the cringest thing to do to me

ARE YOU... ⬇️

• are you understanding? Yes, maybe too much even

• are you open-minded? Yes I try to be as open minded as possible

• are you arrogant? No and I would hate myself if I was

• are you insecure? Too much

• are you random? What does this mean

• are you hungry? Most of the time

• are you intelligent? Im really not that smart

• are you moody? Unfortunately yes

• are you organised? Sometimes

• are you shy? I'm a little shy but mostly an introvert who likes to talk with people

• are you difficult? I hope not but I'm sure I kinda am

• are you bored easily? No

• are you entertained easily? Yes

• are you obsessive? Only when I fail to control myself

• are you angry? I repress my anger to the point I don't think I'm capable to feel it anymore

• are you happy? I'm trying

• are you hyper? No

• are you trustworthy? Yes, I suppose I am

RANDOM ⬇️

• in the morning: I have to have breakfast for at least an hour

• i dream about: happiness and satisfaction

• when i'm into someone, i first notice: expression and voice tone, eyes and demeanor

• turn ons? I dont talk about this shit

• turn offs? Impatience

WHO... ⬇️

• who makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend, my close friends

• who makes you smile the most? Also them

• who gives you butterflies when you see them? My boyfriend

DO YOU EVER... ⬇️

• do you ever stay up all night and wait for a specific person to contact you? Sometimes but I don't talk with a lot of people

• do you ever wish you were younger? No

• do you ever wish you were older? No

• do you ever cry when someone's rude to you? Yes lmao

NUMBER... ⬇️

• number of times i've had my heart broken: Two times I think

• number of cd's: 6

• number of scars on my body: I don't think I have any

• number of broken bones: None

• number of accidents you've been in: A car accident (but nothing bad happened except for emotional trauma)

BASIC... ⬇️

🍃 day or night? Day

🍃 introvert or extrovert? Introvert

🍃 cubed or crushed ice? Cubed?

🍃 comedy or drama? Both, I love dark comedy and grotesque the most

🍃 veggies or fruit? Both!!

🍃 ice cream or frozen yogurt? Ice cream

🍃 summer or spring? Summer

🍃 winter or fall? Fall

🍃 cookie butter or peanut butter? Peanut butter

🍃 pancakes or waffles? Waffles

🍃 hot tea or iced tea? Both

🍃 hot coffee or iced coffee? Hot coffee

🍃 smoothie or juice? Juice!!

🍃 comfort or adventure? I like both at the right times

🍃 Netflix or Hulu? I dont do this shit

🍃 online or in-store shopping? In store, unless we talk about second hand online stores I usually avoid buying from apps

🍃 left or right handed? Left handed

✨ Obsession: cinema, comic books, building my stories whether it's writing or drawing them, wrestling

✨ Any bad habits: smoking, skin picking, a little bit of an alcohol problem

✨ How many pets do you own: three dogs, two birdies and two big ass turtles

✨ One weird thing you do: I cannot control my language, so I end up swearing a lot without even realizing

✨ Do you like your name? Yes

✨ What color underwear are you currently wearing: White as always

✨ How many relationships have you been in? Only one serious one and I'm happy like this

✨ Ever been cheated on: No

✨ Do you believe in long distance relationships: Yes but I don't think I could do it

✨ Ever cheated: No

✨ How many people do you trust: A few but I trust them with my life

✨ How many kids would you want: I don't kmow, it's too early for that

✨ Someone you find attractive: My partner and Sylvester Stallone

✨ Ever been heart broken: Yes

✨ Ever broke a heart: I surely have in the past

✨ Why did your last relationship end: Never had a serious relationship so I dont remember

[cowbi-dandy]

1. I'd say so with my mum, but not my dad

2. My loving trans partner, whom I say it to everyday

3. Not finishing uni, self inflicted pressure was too much

4. Not overly, sometimes I worry about my belly. But I know I enjoyed the food, and I usually feel comfortable in my body

5. Happily dating ❤️

6. In a comfy bed, with loved ones around me

7. Chocolate Brazil nuts. The best snack

8. I did practice boxing. Helped lose a lot of weight in my teens and got me a better form than B A L L

9. I used to a lot, but I would hurt my fingers with how low they'd go. So usually just enjoy clipping them, but sometimes with bite them to groom.

10. Hard to recall, maybe my brother?

11. I genuinely like a lot of people ☺️

12. Not 48, but I have stayed up 26 hours I think. Not a great time and led to some regrets lol

13. Other than some figures around the world that are doing genuine evil, like Israel figure heads, trump etc. No one in my personal life that I just don't associate with any more

14. I think I miss people that are still alive but I just don't see much anymore. I always think the dead hang around, or come visit at times, so they never feel like they've left

15. I have a bunny rabbit, Bobby, but my mum and sister take care of him more than I do now. Really enjoyed watching horror movies with him.

16. ATM feel a bit melancholic, I think the previous questions were mostly sad lol

17. Nope

18. A little cause they can be fast moving guys, but other than that I don't fear them. I love the guys and galls with all the eyes.

19. Probably not, cause I'd waste the opportunity asking what the rules and consequences were more like. Back to the future or gravity falls

20. Proper English slang there, unless it's used somewhere else lol

In a little forest path, but it's not as twee as you might think

21. Well it's Christmas weekend, not got work. Might try to see if I can get some DND in on the Saturday. But plan on enjoying time with family.

22. Still considering but I think I'd just want 1

23. Nope, but my ear apparently always looked like they had been pierced

24. History, it's factual English, and you can do debates from the facts you know and what can be derived from them. And debates aren't opposing all the time, usually it's to help further an understanding on a topic

25. Feels similar to the other question, so I refer to my answer there

26. Hot sloppy sex. Only half joking, probably warm hot chocolate.

27. I think I have, I used to be an absolute cock to girls kinda dumping love on them and then when they seemed interested I took that as a win then I'd pretty much ignore them. Absolute twat little pre teen me, but very undeveloped socially and puberty did werid stuff.

28. Far as I'm aware no

29. I think I have, both kinds of tears. Relationships are hard, but always worth it.

30. The chair in my room has a bad wheel so it slightly off balance as times.

31. Lots of people, and lots more that I don't know I hope lol

32. I love too many colours, but black and other dark colours are cool. Until it's dark and I'm looking for my phone against black bedding with black pillows.

33. Not anymore I don't think, I feel like I put a wary amount of trust and then give more as I know them.

34. Hard to say, barely remember my dreams. I think I dreamt about apex??? I remember ziplines and being a trio or something

35. Probably my mum and Step dad

36. I wouldn't say too easily, very generously, but I know the point where people don't deserve them. Until they make some new effort

37. I can genuinely forget things too easily, forgiving I don't think I take too long with.. I can't hold strong negative emotions for longer than a week even though I tried lol

38. Probably not and I hope it isn't in retrospect

39. I think like 4, had a little girlfriend. I do think the straight narrative is pushed a little hard. But then I was kissing boys for a laugh cause I could pick them up and do it lol

Maybe we really don't change much from when we were kids

40. Yes in my back garden late night, and it's pretty covered. Usually cause it too hot, but other reasons too lol

41/51? Lol

I'd say chili dogs, has everything good on it

42. I know there's the random factor in the universe, but some things do just come together.

43. Blowing a load

44. I think people can be complex, so I don't like the simple question. There can be a lot to this

45. I think I'm a nice person, but I feel I can be cruel at times. never been told I'm mean or anything though. At least recently

46. Well lots of play fighting, and boxing. Probably 30-40? Maybe

47. I don't, but I think you can always find people that can fit that role.

48. Warmish rain lol

49. Yes, it's a nice weather to get from time to time

50/60?. I really do

51. Not overly, but I like to see the people that do

52. Too many things lol

53. Maybe if I wanted to transition, but I don't think I want that. I don't think I'm an egg, I think it's just cause boys like girls and girls like boys, was ingrained into me, when I wanted girls stuff I thought I had to be a girl. So when I wanted boys, well more accurately men. I had that thought to myself.

54. Probably not, but I don't know where they are now lol

55. Well I'm happy in my current relationship with my best friend

56. I guess my partner, but other than them not really

57. Probably my mum, or co-workers, or customers lol actual conversation other than family, my friends Alice and mell.

58. 59. 60. Yes, my loving partner

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[shadowwolfmemes]

you know how your character liana is happy-go-lucky right? Is there anything that hurts her physically or emotionally? or was her life perfect all the time?

That's a good question, Anon. I never thought anyone would ever ask this, though. I'm glad it's you.

⚠Fair warning, there will be a description of self-harm. Be warned.⚠

So you see, Liana appears to be happy and bubbly all the time, but that's only the surface of her life. Her life was never perfect from the very beginning, even after mysteriously turning into a lycanthrope.

During her late teens, Liana had family issues. It mostly revolved around her dad having heated arguments with his mother and sister. Sometimes, it came to the point where it revolved around mild violence.

When Liana turned into a lycanthrope at age 17, she didn't realize how horrible lycans get treated until she willingly got transported to boot camp and got herself a job at the military police force at age 18.

Liana would constantly get dirty looks from strangers every time she walks on the streets, but that wasn't the worst she's experienced. As time passes on, the treatment worsens.

It came to the point where it's harassment. Liana would constantly get death threats or have people come up to her and try to physically hurt her in many ways by humans.

Humans would also say things that aren't entirely true about not only her, but lycanthropes as a whole:

"Lycanthropes are horrible, bloodthirsty beasts that will kill without reason or remorse. They don't have morals like we do."

"Lycans should be locked away in a zoo like the dirty animals they are. They shouldn't roam around in society carefree because they're completely dangerous."

Something like that, but sometimes worse. Whenever Liana vents to a random stranger or tell someone she has gone through these complications, some would simply brush it off like it's nothing serious.

What pisses Liana off the most is when someone puts their life problems above hers like what she's going through isn't as important as theirs. When you say there are bigger problems in the world whenever Liana vents, she'll get pissed off right off the bat and rightfully so.

And what makes it worse is how belittling a few people are.

"You're happy all the time, so there's no way you have problems in life."

"You have people who care about you and you have a perfectly normal life, so how are you depressed?"

Yes, people actually said stuff like that to her. All Liana wanted was to be understood by others and have them sympathize with her when she most definitely needs it. Human or not, she's a sentient being, too.

So you see, Anon, Liana's life isn't all bright and perfect because guess what?

There's no such thing as a perfect life!

The reason why she's so cheerful now is because Liana wants to be one of the positive changes in the world, even if it's just a tiny little speck. That tiny sliver of light in the darkness. It worked for some time, but it can only help her through so much before she reaches her breaking point.

Believe it or not, Liana would have break-downs in the comfort of her own home so that nobody is watching her punch holes in the walls and sob loudly due to the amount of times she's been harassed.

Sometimes, she would harm herself by clawing off only the surface of her skin due to high levels of emotional stress. It happens whenever life is too much for her to handle and Liana feels like nobody is there to tell her that everything will be alright.

Of course, Liana has her moments in life because she's not perfect like Mary Sue. (Mind you, she hates Mary Sues because there needs to be some flaws to balance the character out and Mary Sue is way too perfect for my liking. It'd be mindful if you don't call her one. Not gonna lie, I highly dislike Mary Sues, so I try my very best to avoid creating one. 😓)

With that being said, I hope this satisfies your curiosity of Liana's somewhat hidden angsty side.

[pwblogarchive]

April 2007

April 6, 2007

“take a vote, the eyes have it. but the knives have our back.”

"An ending fitting for the startyou twist and tore our love apartyour light fingers through the darkshattered the lamp- into darkness it cast us...""No you've got it the wrong way round-just shut me up and blamed it on the brown"cornered the boy kicked out at the world, the world kicked backalot fuckin' harder...If you wanna try, If you wanna trythere's no worse you could do (oh oh oh)I know you lie (I know you lie)I'm still in love with you (oh oh oh)Have we enough to keep it together?or do we just keep on pretending (and hope our luck is never ending)...you cant stand me now, you cant stand me...."

April 14, 2007

us vs. the house - i kind of love the odds.

its almost a new shade under those lashes.

i am perplexingly optimistic.

its almost got me losing my head.

dodging flights.

words are like teeth.

only three places they can go...

flashed in smiles, rotted out, or spit out in fistfights.

not too sure how these end up.

we are becoming who we are meant to be.

we are becoming who we were.

time passes like bottles between them.

letting my self just float.

just feel ok.

being happy doesnt mean you are unauthentic.

breathing life is alright.

in doses you know.

i love life in 24 hour increments.

noone gets how my head feels when i lie sideways on pillows.

but noone gets anyone. so who cares?

listening to life on mars by bowie.

just snoozin.

the inside of my head is out breath from all of this jumping here and there.

sometimes love is the only thing we can call our own.

"ive been shooting up your perfume..."

Posted by xoat 3:52 AM

April 15, 2007

“i dont think that anyone feels the way i do about you now.”

me and you are the cubs, you know. next year is always our year.

April 16, 2007

bury me now, we'll figure out the rest later.

me versus myself.

i know that at some point the right words are gonna come to me.

that they are just going to spill out.

thats the only reason i still sit in these darkened rooms in front of blank screens.

i know deep down we can make ourselves bright.

we can shine.

my moods shape shift, they are magnets on a compass.

leaving the arrow spinning if it gets too close.

i hadnt been smiling or speaking up as much as i used to.

i have felt ugly on the inside and no matter what anyone says or does its the only thing going in my ears.

except whats the point.

whats the point of making it through unscathed?

the whole point of this is catharsis.

the whole plan is to get better.

to do the math.

to figure this all out.

to be ok.

to be ok with being ok.

Posted by xoat 1:58 AM

April 17, 2007

the morning after, party.

pirouette next to a baby grand, send all my troubles in reverse. notes on being authentic: the fuck me red lipstick she wears comes off on her teeth- but she rubs her feet on mine to fall asleep, im not sure anyone knows this.

April 17, 2007

"all of a sudden, i miss everyone"

god been thinking. its been awhile since ive done that.except for "here and there"ssick of all the speculation.this means that, that means this.this is really the only place i can speak to anyone without people in glass towers watching me.commenting.so thank you for that.id do anything to keep this going forever.even in my head when i wanted to be blown off this fucking planet i still hoped that little blue record kept spinning in your room.the reason you havent seen a video of fall out boy on fuse is because of corporate litigation.the same reasons for half of what makes this all feel like its falling apart.we only did cribs because we thought it was funny. hopefully you are in on the joke. we rented fake cars, like ferraris and just goofed around the whole time.didnt even know how to open the doors.not sure if our sense of humor is gonna come across or whether it will be mtvified.my best friend is a dog.sometimes i miss being down all the time like it was a close friend that moved away.but sometimes the inside of my head and my heart and my stomach all meet up into this wretched combination.i just want to let myself be happy.id give anything to not give up on this.take care. sleep safe. i will write more when it comes to me.

April 22, 2007

"all that hate is gonna burn you up." he said "it keeps me warm at night".

my mind is a safe.

if i keep it in, well be able to blow dust off our secrets before we die.

my body is an orphanage

we take everyone in.

doing lines of dust and sweat off last nights stage-

just to feel like you.

if home is where the heart is then were all just fucked.

i want it so bad id shoot sunshine into my veins.

cant remember the good old days. just cant forget the "old" ones.

its kind of funny the way were all wearing anchors on our shirts

when being anchored or paused just feels like a curse...

i want the weightlessness of love with the carelessness of a fuck

like the way magicians spin the bird into the bars on the back of a page

locking the bird away, except my ribs are the cage

dont know much about classic cars or classic rock-

but i got a lot of friends who are stuck on classic coke.

i must confess i am in love with my sins.

when they said we had chemistry im pretty sure this aint what they meant (me plus you plus tears plus a sedative or two).

cue the water works.

saline.

the plant is pumping overtime to get the toxins out.

not sure which is working faster, your mouth or your tear ducts.

in other news....

April 22, 2007

"all that hate is gonna burn you up." he said "it keeps me warm at night".

you win some.

you lose some.

April 23, 2007

“i plugged it into the socket and the house exploded"

yesterday in the hotel i was supposed to stay at a woman and a man took guns out and threatened to kill a bunch of guests. then the police showed up and they wouldnt put the guns down, so the police shot and killed them. in their room they found a bunch of extra guns and ammunition. i have goosebumps.in response to this and the virginia tech shootings. i dont know what to say. i dont understand why our society influences people to do the things that they do. i am just happy that my friends are safe and that we are still ok.true love.

April 28, 2007

“puppy love vs. teaching old dogs new tricks”

"i know you may roll your eyes at this, but im just so glad that you exist"i dont care what list i end up on.the truth is, i just dont like myself too much.i thank god for the people who love me anyway and can see around that.you inspire me to be a better person.and to let myself feel happy.i hope i bring the same to you.all sappiness aside. go download the video for the kanye "throw some d's" remix on youtube. you will not be disappointed.

posted by xo @ 4:49 PM

April 29, 2007

hi im pete wentz

April 29, 2007

this disfigured face matches these disfigured eyes. sorry baby, evolution never caught up with me. stay gold~

April 30, 2007

“my conscious and i can out-talk david mamet”

life as of late: "usually i like to get kissed before i feel fucked".

i place my bets on stars that are probably already burned out.

i fistfight the keyboard when i think of how things turned out.

Posted by xoat 8:23 PM

[blazenka]

Singles

Elena sees more of Damon than she's ever suppose to and learns more about herself than she could ever hope. Set during Season two; one-shot.

Original source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6777000/1/Singles

Chapters: 1

Published: February 25, 2011

Words: 1889

Rated: Fiction T - Language: English - Genre: Humor/Friendship - Characters: Elena G., Damon S. - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5

Exported with the assistance of FicHub.net

Singles

~Ѱ~

The Boarding House was still, yet not just quiet but completely soundless. On afternoons like today she would have been with Stefan enjoying a nice day together. Instead, Elena was tasked to do research with Damon because apparently she was in martyrdom mode and since Damon already stopped her once…

The whole situation gave her a terrible head ache. She wished, and sometimes pleaded to an unknown god, she could go back to her old life. Even though being with Stefan was nice, there were days she would trade it all for cheerleading practice, normal Bonnie and Caroline, being able to just play video games with Jeremy and she could talk to her par…

Elena interrupted her train of thought yet again. If she went down that track again she would give up again and this time no amount of pep talk might bring her out of it. She just couldn't do that to herself, not when she promised Stefan she would renew her efforts of trying to do so. She could not give up hope (despite how hopeless it might be).

So engrossed in her internal struggle, Elena forgot… or well, disregarded all common courtesy of knocking and just entered his room without notice.

"Elena! Dear Lord… would it bother you to knock?" Damon scolded as he vainly tried to wrap a towel around his waist.

But it had been too late and all in vain because when Elena had immediately looked straight ahead in Damon's direction when she entered the room. This, unfortunately, meant she had just seen everything Damon Salvatore had to offer. Everything. Not just limited to the PG-13 or NC-17 sense either. And no matter how hard she could and would try, she highly doubted she could ever unseen "everything".

Finally able to bring her gaping mouth closed, Elena stammered, "I'm so sorry Damon… I wasn't… ah, thinking."

Was that the best explanation she could give? It sounded more like she was trying to come up with an excuse.

"It's quite alright Elena. Well, not really but to save from further embarrassment I'm just going to go into my bathroom and change, alright?" Damon suggested with his pointed thumb as he gathered his pants before making his way to the second door. All Elena could do was nod.

Elena began to leave with the mind set it would be best to go down stairs and get a start on the research while waiting for Damon when probably the asinine idea popped up. Usually, Elena dismissed something like this but with all that had happened lately who would blame her if she decided to?

Damon eventually exited the bathroom whilst drying his hair, conveniently ignoring Elena's presence. Although, Damon did became aware of her when she waved her hand in front of him.

"Um, Elena… what are you… Did you owe me for something?" he asked with evident confusion.

"Well, I saw something I've never seen before," Elena tried to explain as she held up the dollar bill.

Confused, Damon gaped at her for a moment before accepting the money with recognition. "Elena Gilbert, really?" he asked with a delightfully surprised smile.

She would probably never cease to amaze him but for once, he was taken completely off guard. It warmed his heart strangely that she would remember one of his throw away lines he used on her and Stefan, and try to make light of the current dark situation they seemed to perpetuity be in. Elena could only smile back before heading to the door, "I'll be in the study, okay?"

"You do realize now," Damon began as he pulled on his shirt.

"This means war?" Elena tried to finish for him.

"No… I'll have to pay you back now," he added with his signature 'eye thing' as he tucked the dollar into his denim pocket.

Yet, instead of Elena's usual response of disapproval and smacks, she laughed with genuine humor- the type that reached your eyes and Damon just jumped right in and joined her. For once, it was just the two of them laughing at each other's snarky comments. Elena hadn't heard his laugh for so long and the light hearted one she was hearing now she possible had never heard before.

Elena just shook her head of thought, only to have it consumed with reality once again. She moved back to the door frame muttering, "You probably know what I look like already," before she left.

However, Damon was quicker than her and grasped her wrist to keep her in the room; "We were having a fun moment but you just had to ruin it."

"Excuse me?" Elena questioned in regard to his tone.

"Stefan doesn't seem like the most positive role model if your thoughts turn so quickly to brooding and gloom," he stated, the dark expression from the last month returning to his face again.

"I don't understand…" Elena tried but Damon cut her off, "You know exactly what I mean. God Elena, are you forever going to compare yourself to her?"

Elena ripped her arm from his grasp, "Well, I do in fact share her face, it's only logical we probably share the same body… features," Elena tried to finish without a grimace or bile rising to her mouth. Bodily features that ensnared both Salvatore brothers….

Damon could only sigh, "How many… Elena, you are nothing like her. Sometimes I even forget…" but he stopped himself before correcting, "Elena, I could give you probably a hundred differences between you and… Katherine. Particularly in body plan… which I would have to guess at because I've never had the pleasure of seeing you, Ms. Elena Gilbert, in the…"

"Damon!" Elena was quick to scold him, which only results in him smirking before resuming, "But I am serious."

"Oh, how so?" Elena folded her arms across her chest; she was always one to defy him.

"Well, Katherine had a child so there's a major difference right there," he began.

"Oh, so she's more curvy and womanly than me, thanks Damon," Elena scoffed.

"That's not what I meant. Yes, she had curves and certain… assets that were attractive during that certain time period. Yet she also had an extremely hourglass waist, which was probably due to corsets that I never saw her without."

When that didn't ease the look on Elena's face, Damon decided to change tactics. "She's curvy, I'll give her that. She probably has stretch marks I've never seen… and how sexy are those?"

This earned him a light laugh from Elena but he knew he wasn't clear quite yet. "And you Elena, even covered head to toe in clothes, are a different entity all together. You're probably lean and fit with just the perfect combination of womanly charm. You certainly present grace wherever you are."

"Damon," she began again to interrupt him but he wouldn't have it.

"You forget I saw you in the beautiful blue dress at the Founder's Ball and you were quite lovely as you descended the stairs. A blind man could see you and your beauty with such… honest truth Katherine could never master with all her fem fatal."

"Damon," Elena's voice came out slightly like a whine but more of a whisper when Damon finished his statement.

"But, of course, I don't know any of this for certain unless you want to show me," Damon remarked quickly, displacing the intimate atmosphere with his sexual tone.

"Damon," she rolled her eyes; that one had definitely earned him a smack on the arm, but Elena still smiled.

"Oh, come on. I show you mine, but you won't show me yours? Elena Gilbert… hardly fair," Damon commented with his façade of hurt. Oh yes, her Damon was  almost back - with sexual innuendoes and all, and she couldn't be happier.

Elena turned to leave again but before Elena could reach the door frame, Damon pulled her back to embrace her in a hug.

"I know this sounds horrible cliché but I would not be the man I am today without you, Elena. So, thank you… for being there when I needed it," he finished as he gave her a friendly pat on the back, "That's one thing Katherine could never do."

"Well, you've been there for me and to save my life so… thank you," she replied with a reassuring pat for him, "Its… it's just nice to have my best friend back," she finds herself able to finish.

Damon just shook his head while he rests his forehead on her shoulder for a moment, "You never truly lost me but thanks for bringing me back anyways."

All Elena could reply back with was a 'no problem.'

The two stayed like that for a while, long enough to grasp the moment before Elena could feel awkward and disloyal. They pulled back with a mutual short laugh before Damon turned to his armoire to fix his shirt, "Now, I'll be right behind you. We still have research to do downstairs."

Elena faked an overdramatic look of dread, "Oh great, more homework," Elena joked.

"Yes… that could save your life," Damon replied in a snide tone.

Elena left the room with a strange smile on her face as she closed the door behind her. No, she wouldn't trade her life now for anything.

But - wait a minute… How could Damon, being a vampire, neglect hearing her walk up the stairs, let alone not hear her come into his room? She could only wonder as she headed down stairs.

" If I see something I've never seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it." - Damon Salvatore.

~Ѱ~

The quote is from the episode "Children of the Damned" in season 1.