#pm me if u have questions
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asecretwerewolf · 1 month ago
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can we pls bring chatlands back for all my 18+ folks out there
lupinar is somewhat active idek what happened to the other sites… but it’s probably the best 2d chatsite ever… like ur telling me i can actually be a dhole??? im in
someone join me tho pls let me relive my youth (you gotta b 18+ to be on lupinar tho which is new from when it was last open)!
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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 5 months ago
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My coworkers preach work-life balance but then they keep telling me I can call them on their vacations because they want me to succeed
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poppyseed799 · 5 months ago
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One thing that bothers me is a lot of complaints about soulmate tropes/AUs/such are very easily solved by simply recognizing what a soulmate actually is. “What if your soulmate is a bad/abusive partner?” well by definition they are perfect for you so that is simply not an issue. “What if you don’t like them?” Once again you guys are perfect for each other this is not an issue. “What about aromantic people?” Assuming this is a world where EVERYONE has a soulmate (since the obvious solution is just to not have one) then ONCE AGAIN a soulmate is PERFECT for you so chances are they might ALSO be aromantic or otherwise completely understand and will not cause any issue for you at all. “What if you don’t do love don’t do friends don’t like anybody?” Once again chances are your soulmate is the same or at least understanding and they will be the most tolerable person on the planet to you. Maybe they’re your soulmate BECAUSE you never meet that’s a funny concept.
Like there’s certainly criticisms to be made about the trope but I hate when people point to like. The Soulmate Being Bad as one. Brother that is NOT how this works 😭. I once watched a miniseries that had soulmates but then they tossed in the idea of soulmates being abusive towards each other and I’m like “Then What TF Determines Who Is Your Soulmate” it just totally took me out of it man. Don’t ask why I’m so passionate about Soulmates Being Perfect For You cuz tbh idk why either but it just keeps bugging me. If you’re gonna do a twist that soulmates AREN’T perfect for each other then at least explain WHY. Is it perfect based on genetics? Are soulmates totally randomized? Give me a reason cuz the DEFAULT is that they are MADE FOR EACH OTHER. God.
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lazyspeedy · 3 months ago
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i want to go to sleep so bad
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homiebromantic · 1 year ago
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does anyone in the Houston tx area want a PTV ticket? im trying to sell it but honestly i might just give it away if you can come. and if ur by urself u can hang with me and my crew maybe if u want 🥺🥺
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whytheylosttheirminds · 25 days ago
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Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 9 (part one)
(Rafe Cameron x reader series, 7k words)
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series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
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All that met you when you woke was anxiety and a sharp, thumping headache. It was such a depressing paradox to the peaceful way you’d woken up in this same bed on your first morning here, a thousand fucking lifetimes ago. Your whole body ached as you sat up in bed, pulling your knees to your chest and resting your chin on one. 
The bed felt empty. Strange, since you hadn’t ever shared it with anyone. 
Your eyes, puffy around the edges from tears and exhaustion, scanned the dimly lit room. You were startled when you saw it - the little box of candy sitting on the dresser, unopened and completely forgotten. Even more startling was the sudden pang of craving you had for it. You pulled the covers from your legs, immediately missing their warmth, and padded quickly across the room to fetch the candy.
After adjusting the heavy curtains to block out as much of the midday sunlight as possible, you crawled back under the blankets, tearing the package open. Little crystals of sugar went flying, their unnatural dyes and chemicals surely staining the white sheets. But that was some faceless Airbnb owner’s problem.
You ate the candy fast and messy, completely indulging your childish desires and ignoring any regard for moderation or tooth enamel. Fingers sticky and jaw aching, you chewed and licked until there wasn’t a morsel of artificial sweetness left in the box. 
The candy didn’t help your headache, yet somehow it still made you feel better. A small gift on a day of mostly unpleasant surprises. Ironic, since the person you had to thank for the treat was the one who caused the tears.
You’d have to face him eventually, there was still a question to be answered. That problem was entirely your own, and one you weren’t anywhere near ready to face yet, so you sunk back down in the sheets and let the sugar crash knock you back out.
The second time you woke up, the sun was setting outside your window, your mouth dry and sour from the sugar and oversleeping. You sat up and chugged some water from the bottle you kept on the nightstand, think about how you should probably go downstairs, see what everyone’s up to, check in with Carter. Yes, that’s what you should do, so why was your body not rising from the bed?
You checked your phone: 7:12 pm. The day was basically over. In the span of it, you’d fallen in and out of love, had your heart broken, and slept for nearly twelve hours. And, as the pang in your stomach was so aptly reminding you, you hadn’t eaten anything since Rafe made you eggs so many hours ago.
Your phone screen also showed you had about ten texts from Carter, checking on you and asking if you were okay. You opened them and sent a half-hearted “I’m good. Just catching up on sleep from the crazy semester.” 
Another growl of your stomach and you opened a different app, double checking the house’s address before confirming your order of one large pizza - pepperoni and onions, extra cheese. The delivery estimate was forty-five minutes. Perfect.
You had gotten through one episode of your favorite show when the doorbell rang downstairs, just as you’d expected. A few seconds later and a knock on the door finally pulled you from the bed, your legs like jello from being dormant for so long. You threw on Topper’s U of F hoodie and padded towards the knocking.
Carter stood outside your door, your hot, steaming pizza in hand.
“Delivery,” she smiled tightly when you opened the door.
“Thank you,” you said, taking the pie and opening it to smell the treat that was awaiting you.
“Glad to see you’re not dead up here,” she joked.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m just tired.”
She didn’t buy it, you could read the concern all over her face, but there was nothing you wanted less right now than a lecture from her about everything that had happened with Rafe.
“We’re doing a whole crab boil down there, why don’t you just come down and-”
Actually, no. The last thing you wanted in the world right now was to sit across from Rafe, cracking crab shells and pretending nothing that happened had happened. You couldn’t bear to see him, not yet.
“I’m just gonna stay up here tonight, okay?” You smiled despite the questioning look she was throwing you, silently pleading with her to just drop it and let you be.
“I knew this was gonna happen,” she frowned, hands landing on her hips in an indignant pose. She clearly wasn’t going to just drop it.
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself before saying “you knew what was gonna happen?”
“I knew he was gonna hurt you, and now you’re spiraling out again. God, I’m gonna kill him-”
“I’m not spiraling,” you interrupted her. “I just want some alone time. I’m having a good time actually, I’m just watching some -”
“You’re holed up in your room, just like in high school, rotting away while he’s just down there hanging out and having a good time like he did nothing wrong. So fucking typical of him. Just come downstairs, don’t let him do this to you,” the look of pity in her eyes was enough to make you sick. 
Taking a deep breath, you set the pizza down on the top of the dresser, turning back to Carter with a stoic expression.
“Car, listen to me,” you said. “He’s not ‘doing’ anything to me. This is not just like high school, because I’m not who I was in high school. I know you’re used to taking care of me, but believe it or not, in the four years we’ve lived apart, I’ve actually gotten pretty good at taking care of myself. This is not a cry for help, it’s not me isolating and spiraling. This is me taking care of myself, and it might not look like how you take care of yourself, but we’re not the same. Please just go downstairs and let me do what I need to do. I’m not a hurt little kid who needs saving, okay?”
Her brows knit tight, she scanned you from head to toe, like she could pick out any deception in your words by sight.
“Fine,” she said. “I’m glad you know what you need. But…just, don’t hide away for too long, okay?”
“I’m just gonna do what I need to do tonight, and tomorrow we can get back to our fun trip, okay?” You promised.
She thought about it for a long moment, you knew she was having trouble not asking you what had happened when you were gone this morning. The two of you hadn’t even discussed Cassie’s arrival yet, and the millions of texts from her when your phone finally turned back on told you she had plenty to say, but right now you just needed for her to say nothing. Which she must’ve understood, because she finally nodded and slipped back downstairs.
The rest of the evening was spent watching your comfort show, eating your pizza and blocking out the muffled voices of the group wafting in from the patio through your window. Cozy in the blanket of solitude you’d wrapped around yourself was enough to eventually lull you into a decently restful sleep. Curtains on today, tomorrow would be better.
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The empty mattress was cold against your reaching hand. You woke up reaching for something, you weren’t sure what, the foggy dream you’d just had slipped away with the darkness as a stripe of sunlight leaked through the blinds and right over your closed eyelids.
With a groan, you sat up. You had done the whole self-care thing, a night in, letting the emotions settle and tears dry, and as you’d promised Carter, you should probably get back to the trip.
Blinking in the bright bathroom light, you turned the faucet on and ran some cold water over your face. The chilly water waking you up, you patted dry and blinked your eyes open into the mirror.
It was immediate, the way your gaze dropped to your own neck in the reflection. Right there splattered above your collarbone- three purple splotches in the shape of Rafe’s mouth. A constellation of reminders that you’d been so close to truly being his.
You gasped, fingertips flying up to skim over the tender spots. Flashes of your time with him in the car came back to you, your legs pinned to either side of his waist and his lips pinned to your throat. A swirl of desire and regret churned in your stomach at the memory. 
By your best estimate, it had been about forty-three minutes total. Forty-three sets of sixty seconds that you’d been happy, known he was yours, kissed him and been with him and felt good about all of it. Forty-three minutes between him confessing his feelings for you and him dropping your hand in front of Cassie.
A wave of sadness crashed into you with no warning, one thought echoing in your mind, so loud and sad it robbed the air from your lungs; forty-three minutes would be all you’d ever get.
Hot tears stung your cheeks as they fell quick and heavy. You didn’t bother finishing your skincare routine, or trying to self-soothe with some kind of platitude. You'd been perfectly, blissfully happy for forty-three minutes and you’d never be that happy again. You shuffled back down the hall and into bed, stopping first to pull Topper’s hoodie back in, as if keeping the hickies out of sight might make them heal faster.
Fuck greeting the day, fuck trying to end the trip on a positive note. Grief climbed over you and pinned your limp body to the mattress, clobbering you until the tears turned to dry, ragged breaths. You pulled out your laptop and restarted your comfort show. Maybe you’d just stay here, in the darkness, until the memory of him and the marks he’d left with his lips faded in time.
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The mattress sunk with the weight of someone climbing into bed next to you. For the briefest of moments a hope that you knew was absurd flashed across your mind - maybe it was him.
“Good morning,” Carter’s voice whispered, squashing the silly thought.
You didn’t open your eyes to greet her, just readjusted in the bed to face away from her, pulling the covers higher over your chin. 
“Time to rise and shine,” she poked your side, an annoying, cutesy sing-song effect added to her voice.
“No thank you,” you grumbled into your pillow.
“Okay so get this,” she continued chipperly, ignoring your denial. “You know how Jack’s family owns like a bunch of resorts and country clubs and shit? Well they own this bougie ass golf resort in Miami and he got us in for the day so we can go golfing and to the spa with all the millionaires.”
“You hate golfing,” you pointed out.
“Yeah, but we don’t have to actually golf,” she waved off your logic. “It’s just about wearing cute outfits and looking hot on a golf cart.”
You rustled in the sheets, turning on your side to face her.
��As inviting as that sounds, I’m gonna pass,” you said, settling in to go back to sleep.
“No, no,” she reached out to pull the covers off of you, making you groan in protest. “You said you were only gonna be sad for a night, and that today we’d have fun. Well it’s today, time to stop being sad! And you like golfing, so let’s go.”
“I’m not sad,” you lied. “I’m just tired and I don’t want to go.”
“Come on, we’ve barely spent any time together and I’m leaving soon.” Ah, so she was finally pulling the guilt trip card, you wondered when she’d make that play. “Also we have a lot to talk about, we haven’t even discussed the wicked witch of the west blowing into town.”
Despite your current annoyance with her, you laughed at this, no need to clarify who she was referring to.
“It’s because I’m trying not to think about her, actually,” you said, pulling the comforter back over your shoulders. “Let me get back to my dreams where she’s far, far away in munchkin land.”
Carter tsked, pulling the covers down yet again. You shot daggers at her with your glare, the game already getting old.
She sighed, “I know Rafe dropping your hand in front of Cassie really put a damper on things, but I just really think it’s time to move -”
Your eyes narrowed, sitting up against your pillows in surprise.
“How do you know Rafe dropped my hand in front of Cassie?”
Carter’s eyes widened when she realized the slip up she’d made, suddenly lost for words, which was a rare issue for her.
“I just…we were gonna come down and then….” she stumbled over her explanation, hoping you’d allow her sentence to fizzle out, but your questioning glare didn’t give her any reprieve. 
“And then?”
“We kind of…heard you. You and Rafe when you came in from wherever you were,” she finally admitted.
Your jaw ticked, nodding without meeting her gaze, your passive aggression palpable.
“Who’s ‘we’?” You asked, avoiding her eyes and pulling back out your laptop to load up your comfort show.
“Me and Topper,” she pulled at a loose thread on your comforter. “And some of the others, but only for part of it. I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have listened, but I was worried about you.”
“How much did you hear?” You said flatly, collecting the remaining information like a medical intake form, assessing the potential damage of the mortifying story she was telling.
“Me and Topper heard, like, all of it,” she confessed. “Everyone else heard just some pieces.”
You and Carter didn’t fight, you never yelled at her, but the frustration and betrayal bubbling in your chest was threatening to end that streak. You needed a distraction or you’d lose it entirely. Hoping she’d take the hint, you pressed play on the show, shutting back down. She lingered though, pushing the conversation to the exact place you’d hoped it wouldn’t go.
“I mean what he did sucked and you should be pissed, but, you were only holding hands. At least you didn’t like hook up with him or anything. Things can just go back to the way they were before the trip. You didn’t hook up with him, right?”
“Right,” you half-lied.
Your anxiety over potentially having just decieved your sister manifested itself into the cartoonish image of a courtroom in your mind, your pencil-skirted lawyer standing between you and the judge: “your honor, the term “hook-up” could mean any number of things. If my client’s sister had wanted the whole story, she should have been more specific.” 
But you knew Carter, any version of the story that didn’t include every juicy detail may as well have been a knife in her back, she’d be pissed if she found out. Subconsciously, you adjusted the hood of your sweatshirt, pulling it higher to ensure it fully covered your neck.
She had eavesdropped, and you had lied. It would all come out in the wash. At least, that’s what you decided to tell yourself.
It didn’t matter anyway, you realized with a fresh dose of unbearable sadness, because you and Rafe would never be together like you were this morning again.
You twisted quickly in the bed, angling away from her so she didn’t see the tears welling on your lash line and turned up the volume on your show.
She stayed in the bed for a while, trying a few more times to start conversation and coax you to join them on the golf trip, but you’d perfected the art of the cold shoulder, blocking out her every attempt to get you to get out of the bed.
After maybe thirty minutes, she sighed and crawled out from under the covers, pulling out her phone as soon as she was outside your door and texting Topper: it’s worse than we thought.
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“Did you try telling her -”
“I’m telling you, I tried everything. She just shut me down. She’s really mad I think,” Carter’s face was pinched tight with worry as she whispered to Topper outside your door.
“Okay, well maybe, I dunno, you’re just not the person she wants to talk to right now…” he suggested, eager to help but hesitant to upset her any further.
“What, you think you’d fare better in there?” She snapped.
“I mean, I could try,” he shrugged.
She considered this. Maybe it would be beneficial to have a neutral party. Or maybe you’d scream at him, but either way he’d at least get more of a reaction out of you than she did, right?
“Fine, be my guest,” she motioned towards your door.
Topper knocked lightly, eliciting a delayed “um, yeah?” from your voice behind the door. He slowly opened it and slipped inside.
Only a few minutes later, he emerged from the room, his face ashen, wide eyes skittishly avoiding Carter.
“Well?” She pried.
“I don’t think I was the person she wanted to talk to either,” he said vaguely.
“Did she say anything?” She pressed.
“Oh, she said a lot of things…” he scratched the back of his neck, still not looking at her.
“Maybe she’s mad at you too, for eavesdropping,” Carter puzzled. “Maybe we need someone who didn’t hear much of their fight.”
Knocking on doors down the hallway, Carter coaxed the rest of the group, minus Cassie, Sabrina, and Rafe, who were nowhere to be found, out of their rooms and into Mission: Impossible - Get You to Leave Your Bed.
They each agreed, albeit reluctantly, to tiptoe their way into your room and try and talk you into coming out and joining the golf trip. One by one they emerged defeated. Not only had they not convinced you of anything, it seemed from Carter’s perspective that you had your own mission - to drag them all down into an existential crisis with you.
No new information to provide Carter about you, they each came out with some new insecurity that you’d talked them into.
Maddie was first, coming out with sad, round eyes and asking Carter, “do you think I’m smart enough for med school? What if I just wasted the last four years being pre-med?!”
Then Jack, who came out with his hand on his face, “do you think I should reverse my nose job? What if my face never looks normal again?”
Even Tom attempted to warm you up, telling Topper, “I think she’s right, I am only in finance to get my dad’s approval. Why doesn’t he love me for me, man?”
With each friend who returned from a conversation with you full of anguish, Carter and Topper exchanged worried looks. What exactly was going on in that bedroom? You were just one girl, one who typically wouldn’t hurt a fly, and yet this morning you’d apparently chosen violence, no one safe from your emotional carnage. 
Also with each friend who emerged defeated, Topper suggested calling in Rafe for reinforcement, only for Carter to shoot the idea down. But he’d never seen Tom spiral like this, and it was his final straw. He disappeared into his room with some excuse about needing to check on the afternoon’s tee-time.
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Rafe hadn’t run in years. At least, not like this. 
Sure, he went for a jog now and then or opted for the treadmill between leg and back day every so often, but he hadn’t done this kind of no-holds-barred, all-out-sprint since he was an athlete, and the burning in his lungs was reminding him why. 
Plus, running provided all this space for his mind to wander. When he was lifting or doing some high intensity shit, he didn’t have time to think. An open road and nothing but his own two legs? The opportunities for his brain to spiral were endless.
Still, today he kept running, the sand of the long beach kicking up with each heavy step. He’d peeled his shirt off over a mile ago, sweat pooling everywhere possible as breath became more and more illusive. He could feel the early morning sun burning the tops of his shoulders, he knew he’d pay for not wearing sunscreen later.
Every time he was tempted to stop, some invisible force nipped at his heels, propelling him forward. It felt peculiarly like nightmares he’d had as a kid, though this time it wasn’t a monster chasing him, but something much more elusive and indefinable. And he knew if he stopped, it would all catch up to him; everything he’d been trying to avoid for years. He wasn’t sure he’d survive the ambush.
Music blared through his headphones, a playlist he’d listened to so many times that he barely heard it anymore. Suddenly, the music cut, his phone buzzing against his thigh in his gym shorts pocket. 
Thankful for the excuse to slow down, he pulled out his phone to check the text, it was from Topper: dude something’s up with her, u gotta come help us. we’re trying to get her out of bed, she won’t talk to anyone. but she might talk to u
Rafe’s breathlessness suddenly had nothing to do with overworking it on the cardio. He didn’t expect you to be a ball of sunshine the day after he’d done something so stupid to you, but he didn’t understand what Topper meant by “somethings up.” The fact that he was positive he was actually the last person you’d want to talk to right now only added to his shortness of breath.
It was all wrong, none of this happened the way it was supposed to. And now he’d possibly broken you for good. Maybe it was time to pack his bags.
To add insult to injury, standing along the shoreline, only about ten feet in the distance, was the other girl who’s heart he’d broken, glowing in the sunrise and looking like a goddamn marble statue. Jesus Rafe, he thought, you really know how to lose ‘em.
He tried to duck out of sight, but she had already clocked him, standing at the edge of the water in her stylish swimsuit and wrap looking like a fucking greek goddess. She was the ideal female specimen, and yet, as he noticed with curiosity, there was nothing in him that was attracted to her. If anything, he wanted to be as far away from her as possible. But she smiled softly and raised her hand in a polite wave, and despite what you may believe now, he wasn’t a total asshole.
Giving her a small wave back, he approached the shoreline, matching her stance looking out at the water. The moment was silent and awkward for just a second, Cassie flicking her hair off her shoulder and digging her toe into the sand as Rafe searched helplessly for words.
“You look good, Cass,” is what he finally landed on.
She looked at him, shielding her eyes from the sun. He expected her to tell him he looked good too, a smile already forming on his lips as a response to her incoming compliment.
“You’re an idiot, Rafe.”
“I- wh- what the fuck?” He was so thrown he couldn’t even find words to express it.
“You were with her yesterday morning when you saw me, right? Like with her with her?” She surmised, a small upturn of her lips at his confused look.
“I’m sorry you saw that, I tried not to make it weird for you. I didn’t know you were gonna see us,” he stammered, the misplaced pity in his voice only making her laugh at him more.
“Rafe, you dumped me four years ago,” she chuckled. “Believe me when I tell you I’m over it. Also, considering the fact that you dumped me for her, I really wasn’t that surprised to see you together.”
“I didn’t break up with you for her,” he corrected, reiterating a point he’d made a thousand times, and had yet to successfully convince her of.
“Oh c’mon Rafe,” she turned towards him, hands on her hips in exasperation. “Let’s not do the whole ‘I just needed to focus on college’ thing again. We’re both adults now, can we just be honest? You dumped me because you were in love with her. And based on the look on your face yesterday before you noticed me, I’d say you still are.”
A deep crease wrinkled Rafe’s forehead as he avoided her gaze, feeling like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He actually thought he did a pretty good job keeping it from her, but apparently she’d clocked it easily, even all those years ago.
“So you knew? Like the whole time?” He mumbled.
Cassie scoffed, “I was a bitch in high school, but I wasn’t stupid.”
“You weren’t a bitch,” he tried to console her, though she didn’t need it, her easy smile making it clear she’d made her peace with this fact.
“You should ask her if she thinks I was a bitch,” she gestured up toward your bedroom window. “I think she’d agree with me, seeing as she was pretty much my main target.”
“Yeah, you could’ve been nicer to her, I guess,” he conceded.
“You could’ve too,” she pointed out.
A spark of shame flared in his gut. You had tried to tell him back then, tried to explain the ways Cassie mistreated you behind closed doors when nobody was looking, but he always brushed it off. Eager to have an excuse to avoid confronting Cassie about it, and if he was being honest, summing it up to a girl being oversensitive. God, maybe he was the bitch.
“I’m sorry if it made you feel weird yesterday, seeing us together. I was trying to get out of the moment without hurting anyone and I think I may have hurt you both,” he explained.
Cassie just shook her head with a small smile, he had grown physically since the last time she saw him, but he still had the social awareness of a seven year old.
Silently, she raised her left hand, displaying the massive emerald cut diamond on her ring finger, “I mean it when I say I’m fine, Rafe.”
His eyes widened, blinded by the diamond’s sheen in the sunlight. It must’ve been five, maybe six carats.
“Holy shit,” he grinned. “You’re, uh…”
“Getting married,” she nodded. “When I said I was over you…”
“No, yeah, message received,” he chuckled, feeling foolish.
It dawned on him slowly, the realization that seeing him with you had no impact on Cassie at all, except maybe to confirm suspicions she already had. There had been no good reason to drop your hand after all, he wasn’t sparing anyone’s feelings, he was only hurting yours. And now because of it, he may have lost you for good.
“Shit,” he groaned, his shoulders falling.
Cassie gave him a sympathetic look, reading the regret all over his face.
“Was she mad?” She clued.
“Um, yeah, more than I’ve ever seen her,” he said.
“Good. It’s about damn time,” she huffed.
Rafe’s brow furrowed in confusion, stunned by her words and apparent lack of sympathy.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He scoffed.
“She should’ve given you shit a long time ago, Rafe. She deserves to give us both a hard time actually. But now that you guys are together -”
“We’re not together,” he blurted out, surprising Cassie and himself with the statement. 
“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Rafe. You still haven’t told her how you feel? God, I swear, Cameron, you’re dumber than you look.”
“No, no, I did. I told her, I asked her to be with me. But she - then I…I think it’s too late,” he struggled with his words like he was new to the language. 
Cassie nodded, making a nearly inaudible “hmm” noise that he recognized well. It was the same noise she’d made when he talked about you back then, letting him know she clearly had more to say but was holding back.
“Say it,” he smirked at her familiar mannerism.
“Oh, nothing…”
“You’ve got no poker face, Bryant. Never have,” he jibbed.
“I just think…I don’t know,” she stalled. “It’s really not my place, and I’m definitely not going to pretend I really know her, but I don’t think you wait for someone for fifteen years just to throw in the towel over ten seconds of stupidity. Which it was, really stupid” she gave him a disapproving look, which he accepted, knowing she was right, “but still…you have your flaws, Rafe, god knows I know that. But I still think you’re the kind of guy a girl would wait for. And I think she’s the kind of girl you don’t give up on.”
Rafe took in a deep breath, his eyes grazing back over the horizon, considering her words. He couldn’t help but blush a little at the way she said he’s someone worth waiting for. It was the nicest thing anyone’s said to him in a long time. And her point about you being the kind of girl he shouldn’t give up on? That was the truest thing anyone had said in a long time.
A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he turned his head towards her slightly.
“What?” She rolled her eyes at his obvious amusement.
“Are you…dare I say…rooting for me and her?” He teased.
Reluctantly, she smiled back, her lips twisted into a knowing grin as she watched some jet skiers a few yards off shore. 
“Falling in love made me soft, okay?” She defended herself.
“I’m happy for you,” he told her. “I really am.”
“I’m happy for you too, Rafe,” she said earnestly. “Or I will be, when you get your head out of your ass and go up there and make things right with her.”
Nerves twisted in his stomach. He knew you didn’t want to see him, knew you’d push him away, knew he deserved it. But if he left here without trying, without fighting for you, he’d never forgive himself. 
He passed a sidelong glance at Cassie’s ring. It was strange, you all really were at the age where things like marriage and families, things like forever, were suddenly real and within reach. It should make him nervous, should make him spiral into an existential crisis and hide from commitment. But when he thought of you, it didn’t feel strange, because with you forever had always been real, and if it wasn’t meant to be, then the universe was going to have to pry it from his fucking hands.
Cassie gave him an urging look, nodding back towards the house as if to say, “it’s now or never, dude.”
He nodded, a deep breath and a thankful smile to his ex, and ran towards you.
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Yet again, your bedroom door opened with someone emerging who wasn’t you. Running out of options, Carter had sent Kelce in. Maybe he could annoy you into getting out of bed, it was worth a shot. She didn’t really expect it to work, but she definitely didn’t expect him to come back out sniffling.
“Kelce, are you crying?” She asked him, disbelief raising her voice an octave.
“When did your sister get so mean?” He asked, voice cracking.
The group tried and failed to stifle their laughter. Topper threw his arm around Kelce’s shoulder.
“Hey, hey guys we need to normalize men crying,” he scolded the group. “Even if they sound like little girls when they do it.”
Laughter echoed through the hall again, Kelce storming away indignantly, nearly bowled over by Rafe, who appeared suddenly at the top of the stairs. 
He was still shirtless, half-dried sweat making his sculpted torso glisten under the hallway’s lights. A body that made even the straight men on the second floor swoon a little.
The laughing stopped immediately at his arrival, Rafe’s sweaty, shirtless form breaking through the huddle.
“She still in there?” He asked Topper, his face serious as hell.
“Yeah man,” Topper answered.
“You’re probably the last person she wants to talk to right now, Rafe,” Carter snipped.
“Kinda looks like you are, actually,” Rafe shot back at her, gesturing to her position on the other side of the hall, making her jaw flex with the force of the scowl she aimed at him. “Give me five minutes.”
Rafe slipped through the crack in your door, shutting it firmly behind him.
“Sorry, but I thought it was time to bring in the big guns,” Topper gave Carter an apologetic smile.
“‘Big guns’ is right,” Maddie giggled, fanning herself dramatically at the memory of Rafe’s figure. “I mean, goddamn.”
Carter slumped against the wall, arms crossed, hating the whole thing, hating him.
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“Oh my god,” your heart raced at the sight of Rafe, half naked and panting, bursting into your room. You pulled the blankets higher over you, feeling suddenly exposed even though you were the fully clothed one between the two of you.
“Good morning,” He chipped, throwing your curtains open and flooding the room, making you cry out his name in protest, hiding further in your bed.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” You groaned.
“Can we talk now, please?” He asked, standing in the window, his sculpted body illuminated by the Florida sun, framed by the glinting rise and fall of the ocean in the distance. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a romance novel. It made you angry, knowing there was too much history to be able to justify getting out of bed and climbing into his arms, which if you were being honest was all you really wanted to do at that moment. “Have you thought about my question from yesterday?”
Suddenly, you weren’t pissed at him for dropping your hand, or for the prom thing, or any of the other similar stories that accompanied it, enough heartbreak to write a book of memoirs. You were mad at him because he asked you the question: “are you my girl?” in the first place and now, looking up at him, you knew how you needed to answer.
“No.”
“Look, I know I did something shitty, but it’s been like twenty-four hours now and if we could just talk -”
“No, Rafe. I’m saying, I have thought about the question, and the answer is no. I don’t want to be with you. I’m done.”
He just stood there, he just fucking stood there, looking down at you for a full minute before reacting. 
When he finally did, his bottom lip stuck out as he nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets and strolling casually across your room. Moving slowly, he stopped to survey the jewelry, makeup and other knick-knacks on your vanity, running his fingers over them like a restless kid in a store. You sat in bed with a furrowed brow and watched him with confusion, his muscular shoulders relaxed as they finally shrugged in response.
“No,” he shook his head, turning back to face you.
“I don’t remember asking you a question,” you were sitting up against the headboard now, arms crossed as you glared at him from under the hoodie.
“Have some coffee, think it over, we’ll talk about it,” he rambled, so casually it made your blood boil.
“I have thought about it! I’ve been in here for a whole day thinking about it,” you gestured around the room to emphasize your point.
He sighed, leaning back against your dresser on his arms, his triceps flexing as he looked down at you in the bed, “nah you’ve been in here hiding. What are you even doing?”
“I’m fine, Rafe,” you rolled your eyes. You hadn’t wanted to open up to any of the people who had come into the room before him, but you wanted his sympathy least of all. Good thing, you suppose, because he didn’t give it to you.
“I didn’t ask you if you were fine, I asked you what you were doing,” he said plainly.
Once again, Rafe was surprising you. You assumed when you saw him again, he’d be groveling, begging for you back, and you’d have to push him away. But here he was, not a hint of longing in his voice, just a blank face and a carved body you couldn’t believe was actually real. He wasn’t begging for you back, if anything he was being a little rude. God, what was wrong with you that it made you want him a little more?
“I’m watching TV,” you stammered dumbly, using your last sliver of willpower to direct your eyes to the laptop screen and away from him. “And getting over you.”
“Turn it off,” he responded. “And get out of bed.”
“I don’t know if you heard me just now, but I rejected you,” you were starting to get angry now. What was really pissing you off was the fact that out of everyone who’d come in here today, Rafe was the only one matching your energy. And it was successfully throwing you off balance. “I don’t know why you’re even still in here.”
“Yeah and I don’t know if you heard me, but I said no. If you wanna pissed at me, fine. But I’m not giving up on you and you’re not gonna spend the rest of this trip in here rotting because you’d hate yourself for wasting your last few days with Carter by freezing her out. So get up.”
“Stop acting like you know the first fucking thing about me, Rafe,” you rolled your eyes, sitting up straight on the mattress, the closest you’d been to getting up all morning.
“Oh don’t I? Really,” he looked around the room, gesturing towards the half empty pizza box from the night before, “pepperoni and onions? Extra cheese?”
“Okay, so you’ve seen me order pizza before, that doesn’t mean -”
“And I betcha I know what show you’re watching, the one you played like a million times junior year. Except you’re skipping the season finales because you don’t like endings. Which is how I know you’ll be so mad at yourself if you let Carter leave for the UK without making some good memories here with her.”
Rafe walked to the edge of the bed, resting forward on his hands and leaning toward you, the mattress sinking under his strength, causing you to slide towards the spot he was pushing it down. “You done with me? Fine. But I’m not done with you, so I’m not leaving this room until you get out of the fucking bed.”
“Get out,” you said through gritted teeth, scrambling to fight the forces of gravity and scoot away from him.
He only pushed the mattress down harder, making you tumble towards him, “no.”
You used your arms and feet to push yourself away from him as much as you could, needing desperately not to touch him, not to remind your body what his felt like, determined that you’d never let yourself feel him again.
His eyes were steely, expression fixed. He wasn’t leaving, and you’d never be able to overpower him physically, all you had left was a verbal defense.
Your chin wobbled with the angry tears you were failing to fight back, and for the second time today, you lied to protect yourself, “I hate you.”
He nodded that same, pursed lip nod, standing straight again, just looking down at you with an immovable defiance. 
“I’m not leaving,” he repeated.
Heart pounding with regret and adrenaline, you scooted back to the edge of the mattress. A disbelief that you’d just said what you said and the nauseating desire to crawl into his arms and beg for forgiveness, even though you knew you should stand your ground, you rose shakily from the bed. Needing to get away from him, and whatever version of yourself you’d just turned into. Desperate to escape with as few people seeing you cry as possible, you pushed past the crowd outside your door without a word and beelined toward the bathroom for a long, hot shower.
A few moments later, Rafe emerged from the room as well, holding the pizza box and other trash collected from your hiding place. 
“Woah you did it,” Topper congratulated him. “How’d you get her up?”
Rafe ignored him, his eyes on Carter, who watched him with a suspicious glare. He didn’t speak, disappearing back down the hall. Once he’d tossed your trash, he stood at the sink trying to breathe and make peace with what just happened, what you’d said to him.
As the ocean waves crashed violently outside the wide kitchen windows, a similar uneasy tide rose in his chest, threatening to spill over and destroy everything in sight.
Before he knew it, he was running again. He made it a half a mile down the beach before the inevitable caught up with him, squeezing his chest with a sharp pain. He doubled over, gripping his heart and wincing as the muscle constricted, his heartbeat erratic and vision blurry from lack of oxygen. His knees slammed into the hot sand as his body crashed out one limb at a time.
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“Rafe? Rafe, are you okay?! Rafe!!” 
(to be continued)
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a/n: okay ik this part is a lot of establishing things for the next part but part two will be nice and juicy and even have some giggles and good times
please note the taglist for this series is closed. for updates when I post, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs <3
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malfoys-demigod · 5 months ago
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Hiiii. I LOVE ur underrated softie fic ❤️ I was wondering if u could do one kinda similar but it’s friends to lovers and he’s overprotective over little things? U don’t have to use this but I was thinking things like he doesn’t want u to burn ur hand on the stove or like u sneeze and he’s fretting over u and worried ur sick? And everyone can see he’s in love but reader is oblivious lol. Thank uuuu
Little Miss Oblivious
☆⋆。𖦹°‧★ Logan Howlett x Reader
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A/N: I hope you enjoy this!! I hope you find the fluff quite cute!
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
It was a privilege for some to have Logan Howlett as a friend. 
Inside his inner circle, he had quite the humor, he assured you he’d have your back, and among many other things, he always had the best things to say when you needed it. 
Some may call it more than a loyal friendship, but all you could see at the moment was that you and Logan were the closest of friends. Nothing more, nothing less. 
Of course you were oblivious to the fact that everyone knew he was truly, deeply, madly, in love with you and all you thought was that he was an annoying, overbearing best friend, who constantly treated you like a little child who can’t do things for herself. 
At first, there were the little things that you thought would slide, you know? But the more he did these little things constantly, the bigger they made you feel unqualified to even do anything at all for yourself!
Like two weeks ago. 
It was a Saturday morning. Well, almost the end of the morning. You overslept for the first time in a while as it was almost lunch time. You spent all Friday night till late, checking your students papers and preparing class discussions and topics for the rest of the next week ahead to give way to a restful weekend. 
Because you slept late, you were most likely to wake up late. Like really late. But as soon as 12:00 pm hit, Logan, who was around the whole X Mansion, knew you weren’t around yet. 
Had you eaten yet? Showered? Exercised? Anything at all? These were basic questions that Logan took seriously that one Saturday and wanted to make sure you weren’t, as silly as it sounded, dead or kidnapped! 
As you were heavily sleeping and unaware of how it was lunch time now, Logan now stood by your door, gently knocking it and calling your name. 
No response. 
“Y/N?” He asked again, putting an ear to the door. He listened to shallow snores, relieved to hear you were just sleeping. 
He slowly turned the doorknob around, quietly opening the door with another gentle knock to make his presence known. 
“Darling,” he said, “Did you eat this morning and fall back asleep?”
Upon hearing his voice, you, still with eyes closed, muttered a small no, which earned a huff of disappointment from Logan. 
“Come on, doll,” he said, now sitting by your bed, “I wanna make you some scrambled eggs and orange juice.” 
“M’kay” you groaned, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. You felt Logan’s hands on your wrists, trying to pull your hands away from your face. 
“Stop rubbing your eyes, you know you’re gonna get wrinkles the more you do that.”
”Shut up, Logan,” you groaned, “I just woke up. Please.”
Logan just laughed, and pulled you out of bed to get you on your feet. 
While you were heading towards the door, Logan moved in front of you, opening the door for you as you continued rubbing your eyes from the instant light of the hallway outside. 
Logan’s arm was hung around your shoulder as you slumped towards the kitchen out of sleepiness. You knew you were getting some stares from other students who passed by, seeing Logan cling onto you. Oblivious to the fact that they were thinking about how Logan was being boyfriend material again for the thousandth time, you assumed they thought you were wasted somehow, needing stability support from Logan. 
“You don’t need to walk so close to me, people might think I was drunk or something last night.” 
“Nah, nobody’s ever gonna think that of you, Y/N,” he replied, “Everyone knows you were being a goodie two shoes and probably checking your students’ papers.” He replied, still hanging his arm over you. 
When the both of you arrived at the kitchen, your hand was about to reach over for the stool until Logan quickly pulled it out for you already to sit down. 
You didn’t know if it was the ‘just woke up’ morning feelings you still had or the typical annoyance you had for when Logan treated you like a baby, but you looked at him with a deadpan look. 
“I had that one covered, Lo.”
Logan, already whisking the eggs in a bowl displayed a small smile on his face, “Yeah, me too.”
”Hey, lovebirds!” Storm announced her presence briefly. 
You shook your head in disapproval of that nickname, knowing very well that you and Logan were only best friends. It was a clear fact, right?!
Storm, just pouring herself a cup of coffee, checked up on what Logan was making and smiled at him with a pleased look on her face. “Wanna save some for me or these all for your girl over here?”
”Oh, Ororo, it’s cool, you can have some-“
”These last few eggs from the egg carton are for this child right here,” Logan interrupted you, “She didn’t have anything to eat yet.”
”Oookay,” Storm chuckled to herself. She wasn’t hungry anyways, just in the mood for some light bantering. “I’ve gotta meet Scott now anyways. Bye you two!”
You waved her goodbye as she made her way out. Leaving you and Logan back alone again. 
There was already a carton of orange juice and a glass in front of you, as if Logan had already prepared some stuff before waking you up. So you poured yourself a glass of your favorite breakfast drink and watched Logan cook your eggs. 
You knew your best friend was pretty good at cooking the simple stuff like scrambled eggs, he always made them for you. But you wanted to at least contribute to your own breakfast somehow. Sometimes it just didn’t feel right for Logan to do everything for you no matter how much he insisted. 
“Can I help cook?” You said, tip-toeing from the stool to see Logan’s progress. 
“Just stay there. Let me handle this.”
You pouted, still watching him from your tip-toe position, which he definitely caught without even having to look up from his cooking. “And sit down properly. You’re gonna make a fool outta yourself when you fall, bub.”
You scoffed, feeling like an absolute child. “Fuck off, Logan. I’m not a child.” 
“You sure look like one,” he replied now looking at you with a grin, “An adorable one.” 
Before you could even reply to what you thought was a friendly yet teasing comment from your best friend, he served you a plate of his best scrambled eggs. 
Just by the smell of it, you instantly felt so hungry, getting a spoon and fork and just going at it. 
“So delicious,” you murmured, indulging in lunch, or very late breakfast. 
Logan sat by the stool beside you, “Hey look over here,” he said in focus of your face. 
You turned to him with a confused look as he scanned your mouth. You weren’t sure what he was planning to do until he placed a finger over the corner of your mouth, softly dusting crumbs from there to your cheek while you were still chewing. 
“There we go,” he said, getting a raise of an eyebrow from you. 
“Seriously?” You said, being interrupted from eating. “I could’ve done that later on when I’m done eating.”
Your serious look changed with a surprised chuckle when Logan, who you’ve never seen in a million years do, just stuck his tongue out of ridicule. “Whatever, darl,” he replied, “If the professor sees you ravaging an entire plate of eggs like you’ve never eaten before, I’m not saving you from embarrassment.”
“Please, as if you can’t help yourself from saving me from something somehow.” You teased, making Logan look away from you to cover the pink spots that were growing on his cheeks. 
Now fast forward to today. 
You were invited to a girls night out with Jean and Ororo. But they already went ahead, or actually, on time since you stayed back for an hour or two, catching up with your work and checking your students’ papers. 
Logan had already disliked the idea of you catching up with the girls at a later time. He already offered to check the papers for you, despite not knowing anything about the topic you taught. He just hated to see you call a cab on your own. 
“You’re not really thinking about going out alone, are you?” He already asked you earlier. 
“Do you want me to come with you?” He prompted this time, with you shaking your head and assuming he’d follow you inside the bar like a lap dog and drop you off there. “I can at least drive you and I wouldn’t even have to step outta the car!” 
You looked up at the ceiling, expressing defeat, muttering, “Fine!” This of course made Logan happy and relieved, turning around to get, or in other words, steal one of Scott’s cars. 
The ride to the club was merely quiet as you were doing final touches with your makeup. Logan from time to time, would take glances at you, knowing how beautiful you were with and without the use of makeup. 
Once you arrived at the club, Logan took a good look at you and reminded you to call him if you needed a ride home so he could come back as soon as possible, and of course to be careful. 
Over the first hour at the club, you and the girls were starting it steady and still with easy going cocktails, talking about anything and everything. 
Storm, being like the older sister of the group, was hard to be persuaded into drinking a lot later on with you and Jean. But you told her that Logan was gonna pick you up and might as well be picking the two of them up with you as well, she caved in… with the idea of teasing you about you and your watchdog of a friend later on. 
“So when is Logan ever gonna call you his girlfriend!” Storm asked bluntly, after taking one cocktail in. She was definitely a lightweight with all her years of being a designated driver or sister/mom of the group. 
“What?” you replied with a question that carried a silly undertone. “Girlfriend? What the heck are you talking about?”
“Oh come on, Y/N. What can you say about all the little things he does for you? He’s practically babying you like you’re his world!” Jean explained, taking another sip from her drink. 
“I get that he does that, but it’s only a friendly and annoying thing he does to me. That’s it.. Right?” you trailed as you saw the smirks coming out of both Jean and Storm. 
“Oh honey,” Storm giggles, “He’s smitten for you! And you should reciprocate! You both would be the cutest couple in school, aside from Jean and Scott of course.”
You grinned to yourself as you took another sip of your favorite cocktail, pondering about the possibility of being more than friends with Logan. I mean, let’s be honest. He is ridiculously good looking, he tells the best jokes, and he’s never given you as much focus and affection towards you than anyone else. 
Before you could ponder further, Storm and Jean pulled you out from your seats, heading to the dance floor with shots for the three of you to take. Time flew fast as you were dancing the night away with the girls, taking a couple of more shots from time to time, giggling and twirling around like girls who never had the chance to party this hard. 
Unbeknown to you, Logan had been calling your phone a couple of times, making buzzing noises and vibrations on your phone, which you didn’t feel since it was inside your bag. You were busy going back to the bar to get a plate of more shots.
Once there was a plate of shots on your hand, you waved over to your girl friends who waved back in excitement. 
You were holding the plate with a good grip, walking towards the center of the dance floor where your friends were dancing. It was that final step toward your friends that instantly altered the course of your entire night. 
It all happened so fast when you took a slip onto the floor, banging your head. Somehow the shots didn’t fall on you, but that didn’t matter. Your head was throbbing with instant pain and your friends quickly asking you questions like if you were okay started sounding like mumbles. 
You slowly sat up, placing a hand on the back of your head, wincing at the pain. This time, you were able to feel a buzz coming from your bag and as you stood up with the help of your friends, you took the call. 
“Hello?” you murmured, “Who’s calling?”
“Me, idiot!” It was Logan. “I’ve been trying to reach you three times, why haven’t you been answering?” 
You rubbed your head, trying to ease the pain as there was another pain coming from the end of your phone, “Ugh, not now Logan, I think I’m about to have a migraine.”
There was a short pause on Logan’s end. If you were able to see him right about now, you could see his face turn into a look of deep distress. 
“What happened?” He said the question in the form of what it sounded to be a command. “Who’s ass do I have to kill?”
“Um, nobody?!” You said in discontent. Logan was becoming, or already was in overprotective mode. “I just took a bad fall right before you called and my head hurts and-”
“Are you drunk?” 
“God, no, Logan! Seriously? I wasn’t even finished yet-”
“I’m picking you all up now.” Logan said, sounding in a rush from the sound of the background. It sounded as if he already closed the door and was on his feet.
The phone call ended and the girls rushed you to sit down, with an ice pack on hand already, requested immediately while you were taking the call. 
It felt like only a few minutes of icing your head up when Logan bursted through the doors of the club, appearing in front of you. 
Once he got the story after asking how you were and how bad the fall was, Logan started calming down, turning back to his over caring mode. 
"I told you to be careful! See, this is why I don't want you going out without me!”
Jean and Storm shared understanding smiles as they witnessed Logan go all soft on you. 
“Oh shut up Logan, I just wanna go home,” was all you wanted to say for now. There wasn’t any place like home right now, just being in your pajamas and resting up in your bed. 
“Alright, bub,” he replied, getting a hold of you and clinging your arm around him. 
The ride back to the X Mansion was as quiet as it was going to the club earlier. You were resting your eyes and about to doze off in the front seat while Storm and Jean were looking out of their respective car windows in the back. Logan was just thinking about how he was gonna take care of you tonight and tomorrow while driving back home. 
He felt so guilty and awful for not being around you this evening and wished he was there to save you from that fall. Though at the same time, he was starting to grow tired of doing all these acts of love without you knowing he loved you. He always knew you saw him as a best friend and he was scared you’d only see him as that. 
While Jean and Storm went back to their respective bedrooms, Logan brought you over to yours and you were just ready to jump into bed until he scanned your head, holding you gently by the shoulders. 
“Does your head still hurt?”
“I’ll be okay,” you promised, rubbing the back of your head. 
“That isn’t what I asked, Y/N.”
You crossed your arms, getting a little annoyed with the mini interrogation. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, okay? It was just a slip, okay? It wasn’t like I fell off a cliff and somehow survived! Jesus, Logan, it’s like you’ve been treating me like a baby lately and I really can’t understand why! I’m a grown woman!”
“I was just trying to protect you!” he defended himself, placing his hands on your crossed arms. 
“Who gave you that right?!” 
Logan’s hands fell from your arms and found themselves in the pockets of his leather jacket. He shot you a fast heartsick look and started looking at the floor when he started confessing:
“I’ve learned that when you love someone, you protect them with your entire life at stake, and right now, my guts tell me to do the same.” 
“Somehow I thought that if I did all of this, it would finally click for you one day,” he continued, “But God, how blind can you be? I’m in love with you, Y/N.” 
Logan was met with your silence, still being able to process his raw confession, and thinking about what Storm and Jean had mentioned briefly at the bar, tying all of this together into reality. How oblivious and clueless were you really? You felt so ashamed of your snaps and unappreciated gestures now when it came to everything Logan did for you. 
Logan turned sideways, ready to face the door heading out of your bedroom, “Look,” he said, “Why don’t you freshen up and sleep tight, okay? Come back to me tomorrow when you figure things out.”
Logan turned around, facing your door, but out of a whirlwind, you swiftly grabbed him by the wrist to turn him around. His eyes widened in surprise, but before he could utter a word, you pulled him closer, your breath mingling with his. Without a moment's hesitation, you closed the gap, pressing your lips to his with an urgency that had been building for what felt like forever.
Logan's initial surprise melted away as he responded, his hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you even closer. The world outside disappeared, leaving just the two of you in that electric moment. His lips moved against yours with a mix of tenderness and fervor, as if every emotion he had kept bottled up was pouring out through that kiss.
Time seemed to slow, the intensity of the kiss deepening as you both let go of any reservations. His hands moved to cradle your face, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You could feel his heart racing against your chest, matching the frantic beat of your own.
When you finally pulled back, breathless, you both stayed close, foreheads touching as you caught your breath. His eyes searched yours, filled with the same longing and passion that had fueled the kiss, and you knew that everything had changed in that single, perfect moment.
"You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be okay." Logan teased with his worst lie ever. 
“Oh yeah? How about another then?” you proposed, wrapping your arms around him again. “I think you deserve it anyways.”
“Prove it, darling.”
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gravegoer · 24 days ago
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i need royal blood part 2 pleasssseee UAGUHDUAHD
Royal Blood — 🜲
i personally love this AU and i hope you guys do too.. for some ODD reason i havent gotten many asks about it but here u guys go summary: sevika helps u get ready for your ball, and a little jealousy
masterlist , part 1
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It had been around a week since the night Sevika basically cradled you to sleep. Unfortunately, you didn't see her around much, feeling a bit lonelier without her presence to keep you company.
It's possible she felt guilty for having her hands all over the princess, thinking it's not her place. But in reality, she was just trying her best to resist you. She kept herself busy with mundane and useless tasks, but still hovering close enough to keep an eye on you.
And your plans for her didn't make it much easier for her to hold back.
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During the week that your parents were absent on a trip, they had reluctantly allowed you to host a ball. Seeing as this was the perfect way to prove to your parents that you were capable of being responsible you had to insure everything went as planned.
You had your butler customize invitations and send them to a select few noble families. Even though you would have much rather invited your average friends, ruckus had to be avoided, and your friends would most likely cause more trouble than they intend.
Now it was the morning of the big day, despite your mind being set on Sevika the whole morning you had managed to pull yourself out of bed, still in your nightgown, and go downstairs.
As always breakfast was waiting for you on the table, you internally thanked the chef as you dug into your meal, savoring the flavors. The large window in front of you showcased the front of your castle, Sevika stood outside, simply watching passerbyers as if suspecting each and every one.
You laughed to yourself at how seriously she took her job, wondering what was on her mind. You set your plate aside and strode to the double doors to take a breath of fresh air (talk to Sevika).
You emerged, and the cold stone of the stairs nipped at your bare feet. She shot you a questioning look before you spoke, “So.. the ball is today”
“I know, i'll be on guard duty.”
You scoffed at her seriousness, “Really? This is my big day, and you aren't even going to show up. You've been cold this week.”
She sighed and her shoulders seemed to slump a bit, “Apologies, is there anything you want?”
“Yes!” You groaned, “Just— can you at least help me get ready tonight?”
She cocked an eyebrow at your question, “Isn’t that what your personal maid is for?”
“Well– I need help picking something to wear, and my maid is supposed to be bias. She will like anything i do, and you’d tell me the truth right?”
Sevika nodded, giving in a bit.
“Great! I admire your honesty, truely. Join me in my quarters tonight at 6:00.”
Before she could protest you were stepping back inside all giddy. It seemed you would finally get some time to yourself with Sevika. I mean she couldn't deny an order, Right?
..
Right.
Sevika showed up to your door at exactly 6:00 PM, punctual as always. You greeted her with a smile, now changed into a different stay-at-home outfit. You had been lounging around your room for most of the day while waiting for Sevika to arrive.
The balcony door in your room was open, and there were books strewn about your bed. She shook her head at your carelessness and walked over to the balcony, pulling the door shut.
“You know anyone could come in through there right?” She stated sternly.
“To my balcony on the second floor?” You laughed, "Whatever you say, I guess you're the boss around here."
She let out a small laugh that could be mistaken for a scoff and turned to your quite large closet, motioning for you to open it. You pulled the doors open to reveal your plethora of dresses and other garments. Sevika sighed at the fullness as you started to push around the dresses, looking for a color you liked.
After some time, you held up two dresses, and Sevika cringed at them, “That one isn’t fit for a ball, and that one is just—” You groaned, interrupting her.
“You said you were looking for honest, not biased.”
Shaking your head you dove back into the clothes, hands emerging with a beautifully embroidered dress, and another that was similar in style with a low V neckline. Sevika looked contemplative for a moment before motioning to the changing divider, “Try them on for me.”
You crossed your arms, “Well, I cant put them on myself, I need help with the corset.”
You said this like it was common sense, but Sevika looked at you incredulously, not expecting you to ask for something like that from her. She grabbed the corset that was on the ground and the second dress from your hand, “Okay, lets get this over with.”
..
"Fuck, Sevika its too tight," you grunted, hands gripping onto the back of a wooden chair.
Sevika had a knee between your legs, roughly pulling at the strings of a white corset. You were just about to be pulled back by her strength if it wasn't for her leg holding you in place.
"Why the fuck would you put yourself through this," she mumbled through gritted teeth.
You yelped in response, and she finally opted to finish tugging and tied it diligently in the back. Breathing a sigh of relief, you slumped forward on the chair, pushing further into Sevikas leg.
Her hands found your waist before she teasingly asked, "Tight enough?"
You nodded, somewhat annoyed with her sarcastic tone, and grabbed the dress that was on the seat of the chair. Sevika backed up and looked away to try and give you even an ounce of privacy as you tugged it over your head.
The dress hugged your curves in the torso and fell around your legs perfectly, with not too much poof and just enough embroidery. It touched the floor and covered your feet, trailing elegantly with you.
Sevika almost gawked at the sight, most definitely eyeing the V neck of the dress. She was glad she picked it.
"You look ready for a ball," she smirked.
"Aww, that's all you have to say?" You giggled, twirling around.
The small twinkle in your eye made her swoon, and she laid a hand on your waist, "You look beautiful, princess."
You smiled at her action, feeling the gentleness from that night return. It's like you broke down her walls in a second, with nothing but a mere look. You all but pried her hand from your waist, flitting over to your vanity.
Grabbing a clip and a comb, you motioned for Sevika to follow you.
"You know I can't do hair, don't push your luck with me. The corset was as far as I'll go," she crossed her arms as if she were putting a foot down.
"No, silly, let me do yours. If you won't dress up for my ball, this is the least you can do," You giggled, pushing her down into your plush vanity stool.
It creaked under her weight, and she sighed but made no further protests. You could see her eyeing you in the mirror, having little faith in your ability. But you just smiled and got to work.
Taking her small bun out, you brushed the small knots and tangles out of her dark hair. It was soft and shiny between your fingers. You admired the deep smell of her shampoo mixed in with her natural scent.
Then, you pulled it up into the same half updo, but instead of tying it with a rubber, you inserted a silver clip in its place. The clip matched her metal arm perfectly, with just the slightest touch of regalness, to show it was yours.
You held a mirror to the back of her head, showing her your work so that she could view it from the mirror in front of her. "It's pretty right?"
Sevika squinted at it in the mirror, bringing a flesh hand up to touch it gently. "Yeah, too pretty for me."
You scoffed and pushed her head gently, "Nonsense, it's just right. As a matter of fact, keep it."
And this would be your first gift to her. The first among many.
She snorted, "I can't deny a gift from the princess"
Looking at the small clock on your vanity, it read: 7:12.
Fuck.
It started in less than 10 minutes. You hurriedly pulled Sevika out of your stool and checked your makeup and hair in the mirror. She smirked at your worriedness and silently held out an arm for you to take.
You turned around to her, eyeing her arm before gently wrapping your hands around it, looking at her to gauge a reaction. But she walked you to your doors, opening them for you with one hand.
You smiled, realizing her intentions, she was going to walk you out in front of all those people. I mean, it was appropriate, right? It's normal for your personal guard to walk you out, only a safety precaution.
..
Well atleast thats what you told yourself as Sevika walked you down the grand staircase right into the party. People gawked at the sight of their princess, admiring the sight of your beautiful dress, others were staring at something— or rather someone else.
Sevika contrasted your appearance greatly. She stood menacingly at your side, glaring at anyone that shot confused glances. Her rough scarred skin opposed the softness of your exposed flesh. Your delicately jeweled fingers were wrapped around her thick arm as she helped you maneuver down the carpeted stairs.
You let her arm go so that you could start greeting your guests. Your servents had put together a grand ball, tables of food and wine were placed intricately, decorated with jars of flowers and other miscellaneous things.
Women complemented your dress while you shook hands with their husbands, offering some wine or water. You were on your best behavior, making sure your guests would report back to your parents talking about how respectful and polite you were.
A tall woman with dark skin approached you, her white dress with gold accessories glimmered in your eyes. She was positively beautiful.
You introduced yourself, "Hello, im glad you could make it tonight. Your dress is striking."
She smiled kindly at your remark, "It's so nice to finally meet you, princess, let me introduce myself," She took your hand and brought it to her supple lips, "I am Mel Medarda."
Your cheeks flushed, "Well, it's a pleasure."
When you finished the pleasantries, you turned to see Sevika glaring at you and Mel from her position in front of the door, taking over for one of the guards. Excusing yourself from the conversation, you made your way to the other side of the room. After swerving through groups of people, avoiding small talk and sending small waves, you finally got to her.
She watched you the whole way over, but decided to look away the second you approached her. Tapping on her arm you cleared your throat, "Ahem, your princess would like a word with you."
She raised her eyebrow, turning her gaze back to you, "Its not appropriate for the princess to be speaking to a worker during an event."
You laughed off her coldness, "Why are you looking at me so intensely then," You started circling her like a predator to its prey, "You wanted my attention?"
She smirked at your playfulness but shook her head, "Just seeing you interact with others is.. odd."
"Jealous?" You teased, knowing she most likely only thought this because she always saw you cooped up at home.
But to your suprise, her stern demeanor fumbled a bit, brows furrowing and eyes widening.
"No. Get back to your duties, we've been speaking for too long, people are staring."
If she wouldn't admit it, you'd make her.
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i do plan on making a part 3 ! but im going to be working on some shorter fics + hcs so i have time to release the beauty and the beast fic :)
taglist: @thequeenreaders @hangezoes-wife @thesecondhandwoman @slut4sevika @kylorey25 @archangeldyke-all
comment or ask to be added <33
541 notes · View notes
cl6teen · 1 year ago
Text
old habits (die hard) ❀ cl16
in which charles charles has a knack for fucking things up, and you have a talent for slowly letting him back in
find part one here.
contains: social media au, ex!charles leclerc x fem!reader, angsty charles and yn living her best life, toxic relationships maybe, mentions of new partners, charles is a confusing man, charles is a jealous asshole
note: i don’t think this is the final part lmao it’s kinda left of a cliff (if u saw me repost no u didn’t)
your phone 📞
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charlie
hey
i miss you
a lot
read, 11:23 pm.
charlie
please don’t be like that y/n
i’m serious
you
charles you literally have a girlfriend
charlie
she’s not my girlfriend
you
do you think i’m stupid? like actually
charlie
no
but she really isn’t, we’re just talking
and hanging out i guess
you
oh my god
charlie
love, you know i miss you
you
yes, because finding another girl right after saying you only want to focus on racing sends me such a great message
you’re confusing as hell
charlie
i know, i really messed up.
i shouldn’t have broken up with you in the first place
but the season was getting so intense and i really want this championship, i thought it would be better for us to put it on pause to save us both the trouble
you
so what’s so different about her that makes her an exception?
charles
alex is easy for me
you
so i’m difficult?
charles
that’s not what i mean
you
no it is what you mean
i’m difficult for showing up to your races and being there when you need me
or when i’m there for you when you dnf? or when ferrari fucks up your strategy?
i was willing to stay friends with you after i did all that and you still broke up with me because i had hopes we would make it work and get back together
charlie
i do want to get back together
you
no you don’t
you moved on so quickly like i was nothing
charlie
you also got with someone too
you
because i didn’t want to look like an idiot seeing all the news after telling my friends i had hope
charlie
yeah but posting him in your bed??
you
so you’re just saying all of this because of that guy i posted?
wtf is your deal charles
fuck you
❀ instagram ❀
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, alexalbon, and 70,331others
yourinstagram larger than life (in madrid)
view all comments
lilymhe oh my god
lilymhe you scandalous girl
yourinstagram oops?
landonorris he better watch his hands
yourinstagram he said “fuck off”
landonorris i’ll punch him in his face
carlossainz55 mariposa 🦋
yourinstagram 🥺
user are these two dating???
4zaferrari no they’re just friends, this is someone else
kikagomes sexy sexy pair 💋
yourinstagram you’re sexier bebe
pierregasly get away from my girlfriend
yourinstagram get off my page maybe?
alexalbon show me the man
yourinstagram no you’ll just steal him
user loved watching your vlog the other day
liked by yourinstagram
user seeing yn happy is so great but i can’t be the only one missing her and charles right??
user where are you going next omg!!
yourinstagram no idea!!
lando.jpg updated their story 1 hour ago
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seen by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1 million others
yourinstagram replied to this story: i did not give permission for you to post this young man!
❀ twitter ❀
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your phone 📞
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charlie
you put him in your vlog? and you’re still posting him?
are you dating
y/n
are we seriously doing this right now
why are you stalking me
charlie
i’m not stalking you, i just care
fuck just answer the question please
y/n
i’m barely posting him, his face wasn’t in it
and no, we’re just seeing each other right now. yk summer flings i guess
charlie
you know it hurts me to see this y/n, please love
y/n
i don’t care, we’re not together anymore
you texting me is hurting everyone, your “friend” included
charlie
she knows we’re not dating
please just come back to monaco y/n
we can talk face to face
can i call you right now?
you
i’m with carlos and lando
charlie
are you also with that guy
you
yeah
charlie
will you finally tell me who he is?
you
does it really matter?
let’s just talk when i’m back in monaco please
and let me enjoy my vacation in peace
charlie
when are you back?
you
i’ll let you know
charlie
okay
i love you
you
yeah
love you too
❀ instagram ❀
yourinstagram updated their story 10 mins ago
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❀ twitter ❀
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tags: @1655clean @i-wish-this-was-me @sunny44 @leclercdream
2K notes · View notes
moon7jay · 1 year ago
Note
Can u make a jake or( whatever member u want)make up sex ? If not it's okay! 💗🐣
Ofc I can bb 🫶actually was already working on a hurt comfort fic before you requested it
love on you (s.jy)
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Idol!jake x artist!reader
Warnings : angst ,hurt-comfort, smut, fluff, reader is insecure
Wc : 4.5k
"Man you didn't tell us y/n won an award wtf" jay's words sounded like static to jake's ears
"What? " He questioned through his hoarse voice, his head throbbing because of the constant state of moving his body had been in for the past few days. He doesn't remember when he last slept for more than 4 hours
"She just posted it on her story, check it out if you even care bro" jay scoffed and left the room, his voice condescending and accusing.
jake's brows furrowed while he automatically reached for his phone
"What do you mean if I even care? " he muttered to himself, feeling anger rise up in his chest at jay's tone.
His thumb swiped at your profile and clicked on your story, all anger leaving his body when he saw your figure holding the golden trophy while standing in front of the mirror, your face hidden from the flashlight of your phone.
His heart sank to his stomach and dread filled up his chest when he realised the gravity of the situation
"fuck" He muttered and rubbed his temples, heart running a mile per minute. What had he done.
He quickly clicked on his notifs and saw a couple of messages from you dated yesterday
"Shit baby I'm so sorry" he muttered, the throbbing in his chest reaching fever pitch, an ugly feeling rearing it's head in his chest when he finally read your messages
[Mine🤍]
[5:40 pm] I'm wearing the blue dress that you love so much tonight :), tell me how I look
[5:40 pm] (photo attachment)
jake clicked on the picture and he wanted to cry. You looked like a fucking goddess. God you were beautiful, you were so beautiful he was questioning how you were real.... how you were his
[6:30 pm] I'm feeling nervous, can't wait for you to be here, I just need to hold your hand for a bit, only for a bit I promise :(
[7:21 pm] you aren't coming are you
[3:30 am] (audio message)
jake's heart felt like it was tearing apart in two, he had fucked up so bad and he didn't think there was anything he could do to make this right.
There were missed calls from you after that last message and finally an audio message that sat staring at jake ominously
He rubbed his palm over his face and finally pressed play with trembling fingers
"Hi babyy i miss you- you slurred, your voice was shaky and he could tell that you were drunk when you recorded this message ,intoxication dripped from your tone
"Where even are you? Busy? Did you at least eat today baby?" he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve your concern or love, he didn't fucking deserve you
"I hope you did- there was a pause - I haven't eaten- your voice sounded solemn all of a sudden, as if you were deep in your thoughts now, ur voice was hoarse like you had been crying
"Don't feel like eating ...... I waited for you- a sharp inhale, shit, you were crying. jake felt his own eyes dampen at hearing your first sniffle, he hated when you cried. He hated that he was the reason why.
"I feel stupid now" You whispered and then laughed condescendingly
"I mean, it's not like it was an important award anyway... just a stupid art exhibition. It's not like my art is that good anyway, I'm honestly questioning if they gave me that award cuz they needed a female in the merit list"
Wrong. You were amazing. And if anyone deserved that award it was you.
But jake didn't remember the last time he had told you that.
another sniffle
"You have more important stuff to do and i get that. And i told myself I won't cry today but here I am- you giggled through your sobs- I look so stupid right now, I bet I sound even more stupid everytime I annoy you with my stupid fucking feelings"
No you don't, he loves you, you are his everything, he wanted to say
"But I'm trying to change i promise.... I haven't been keeping track of our anniversaries anymore since the last time you told me it was childish and you had better things to do with your time"
jake closed his eyes and let a single tear fall down his cheek, god he regretted it everyday, he regretted opening his stupid mouth and talking to you that way every damn day. He had wished you would forget about it after he apologized to you but of course you haven't. That kind of hurt cannot be forgotten so easily
"It hurts but i manage... it's hard to manage tonight, I don't know why.... maybe because I can't stop expecting things to change, hoping that one day I would wake up and I'll be your priority again " You were full on hiccuping through sobs now
"God I'm so stupid and I wore this stupid fucking dress cuz I felt beautiful... not anymore tho, I don't feel beautiful when you aren't there to tell me I am..... you just matter so much to me and it kills me that I won't ever matter even half as much to you"
jake cursed and threw his phone aside while you still talked, holding his head in both hands, jake let himself cry
He let himself cry for all the times he'd hurt your self esteem so much it made you want to change, he cried for all the times he watched your smile fall cuz he couldn't be there for the stuff you wanted to do
He let himself cry for making you feel like you were less of a person just because you got excited over small things and little gestures mattered to you
He cried because he had been hurting the one person who made his life worth living, so much to the point that you had started to make yourself smaller. He had made you shrink.
"You are my first and last everything jake.. and i know you are an important person and have to hide it from the world that you have a girlfriend but i just feel like... Maybe in an effort to make everyone else believe that i don't exist, you started to believe it too.... and i don't even blame you. I've always been forgettable"
His phone dinged to signal the message had ended so he pressed play again. And again. And again. He doesn't remember how long he sat there listening to your sobs and heart wrenching pain. The pain that he had caused.
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jake hadn't felt this kind of fear ever before. Not even when he had moved to a foreign country alone. He was losing his mind, dark circles under his eyes as he sat outside your apartment door. You weren't here, he knew that, he'd been coming to see you everyday but no sign of you. A locked door. That's all he was greeted with for the past 1 week.
Your phone was switched off, no calls or messages, no way of knowing how you were doing and where you were. Had you really left him for good this time? Would he never be able to hold you in his arms again? Hear your giggles and taste your sweet kisses? Was this your goodbye?
That was the thought that had him breaking down completely in his car in the middle of nowhere as he drove around looking for you aimlessly.
just once, he needed to see u once.
He wiped his tears and dialed jay's number
"I need you to do me a favor"
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You missed him. You missed him so much it hurt. Were you being too harsh on him? You weren't doing it on purpose, you just didn't feel like you were capable of facing him right now, too embarrassed and feeling exposed after you sent that stupid voice note. A drunk mistake.
What if he broke up with you? What if he hated you now ?
You sobbed into your pillows in your childhood bedroom, crying yourself to sleep, imagining his arms around you, shushing you softly, telling you he loved you
God you don't even remember the last time he told you he loved you.
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His knees buckled when his eyes fell on you. There you were, so fucking beautiful, so fucking tempting he had to physically stop himself from running to you and taking you in his arms. You weren't smiling and that's what made his heart clench. As long as he'd known you, you were always smiling, you were his personal little cheerleader.
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"Y/n look who's here to meet you" your mother's voice made you jolt, almost dropping the antique case that you were cleaning.
And you almost dropped it again when your questioning eyes met his dark ones. Your heart started beating unbearably fast, your palms sweaty as you placed the case back on the counter with shaky hands
"you didn't tell me you had friends back in the city y/n! And such a handsome one at that- your mother cooed, wiggling her eyebrows at jake whose ears turned red - anyways, you kids talk while I bring you guys snacks" your mother said and disappeared around the corner, leaving you and the reason of your escape from the city alone. You stood there fidgeting with your fingers, the silence sitting heavy on you while you made it a point to look nowhere else except your feet.
After a few foreboding seconds which felt like hours you saw his shoes come into your line of vision, moving closer to your feet
Your hands gripped onto your skirt harshly when you felt his big hands cup both of your cheeks and move your face up to look into his eyes. His face inches from yours.
"Baby.. " he whispered and that's all you had to hear before breaking down, your vision becoming blurry and harsh sobs escaping your lungs
"God I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart I'm so fucking sorry" His voice cooed, thumbs swiping at your cheeks to wipe your tears, kissing your cheeks and eyes to calm your heavy breathing
Your hands moved up to fist the shirt on his chest and you closed your eyes to finally let it all out, crying and sobbing your pain out, so hurt and so upset from what things had come to.
He pulled your heaving body into his arms and circled his arms so tight around you, as if afraid of losing you. You sobbed your heart out in the crook of his neck while he apologized to you, whispering countless confessions into your ears
"I love you, I love you so much baby, I'm sorry I haven't shown it to you enough" he whispered and you hiccuped in his chest, letting the hurt and disappointment wash over you, hearing him say he loved you already healing a part of you
His guilt ridden voice had you eventually giving in and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling back to stare into his eyes, small sniffles leaving your lips as u observed his tired face. Your hand cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch, kissing your palm. You traced the heavy dark circles beneath his eyes, his irises were red rimmed and exhausted, hairs messy and uncombed
"How long since u slept?" You asked in your hoarse voice
He stared into your eyes, giddy from feeling you close again, feeling too good cuz you were back in his arms
"2 weeks" He whispered and your eyes teared up again. You knew he had been harsh on himself because of his work, he was often sick, unable to sleep or rest and then there was you and your feelings
Who cared about your stupid feelings when this man in front in front of you couldn't even get proper fucking sleep? If anything, you were the extra baggage that he had been carrying around
"I'm sorry" You whispered and his brows furrowed "baby why? "
"because I'm so inconsiderate, I'm sorry I'm so demanding and - his lips cut your rambling off mid sentence, chapped lips pressed against your plump ones and he kissed you like he had never kissed you before. Desperate hands grabbed your waist while your own tangled In his hairs, pulling him closer to you. You were both hungry. No the better word would be starved. You were starved to the point that even a little brush of skin against each other was sending your heads reeling. The kiss tasted of despair and guilt, it reeked of frustration but most of all jake kissed you like he was scared.
"Wanting to feel loved isn't a demand sweetheart, I'm sorry i haven't been there for you, I'm sorry i haven't been making you feel like you are my priority, because you are. You have no idea what you mean to me baby, you're my little heart" he whispered into your mouth and you started crying again like the crybaby that you were. You were his crybaby tho, his to console and comfort. His to love.
He kissed you again, soft pecks all over your face, whispering things that he had never told you before, he didnt like talking about his feelings this way but the moment demanded vulnerability and he could do anything for you.
You were sure your mother had heard everything by now and that's why you didn't hesitate to drag jake into your childhood bedroom. The both of you snuggled in your bed and talked about your feelings for hours. Tears were shed on both sides but it was comforting in a sense, to clear everything up and come clean about what you both needed
"Will you wear that dress for me again? When we get home?" he asked, his fingers tracing patterns into your waist and you pouted at him
"you've lost that privilege" You teased , slapping his chest lightly
He stared deeply into your eyes, his gaze so serious it made your own smile drop
"I'd do anything to gain that privilege again, to see you look so beautiful for me,so fucking pretty for me" he whispered and you blushed, your head reeling from his words
"I'll wear it" You mumbled shyly, god you were weak for this man
He leaned into you to bite your cheek
"Yeah? you'd let me take it off you too won't you? Unwrap you like a present, just for me? "
You blushed harder, ears burning up, your fists hitting against his chest
"Pervert" you whispered and he chuckled, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer, nose burying in the crook of your neck, leaving small sensual kisses
"Can't help it baby I'm so down bad for you" he groaned into your neck, making you flinch slightly as it tickled. His hold on your waist was tight, squeezing you desperately
"you're seriously not thinking dirty things while my mom's down the hallway right? " You asked giggling even though your cheeks were red and flushed. It had been a while since you and jake had done anything like this, since you felt wanted by him like this
jake's pants tightened uncomfortably upon hearing your giggles. God you were so sweet, there was a reason his manager had been forbidding him from seeing you
You were a distraction. You were addicting. And anyone with two eyes could see that jake was addicted to you.
He had physically recoiled when his manager had told him to chose between his idol career and you, seeing how he was willing to sneak out to meet you, risking everything and putting everyone at stake
But jake had promised he would control himself. He couldn't live without you, even the thought of you not being there made his chest constrict. So he decided to stay away from you for a while. Even though it hurt , it surely hurt less than to stay away from you forever
"I was drunk and couldn't stop thinking about you" jake whispered, coming up to move your body, laying you on your back so that he could hover over you
"so i drank more and kept drinking till I couldn't feel my fingers"
Your wide doe eyes stared up at him curiously, wondering why he was telling you this all of a sudden
He brought his palm up to your face, stroking your cheek by the back of his hand, caressing you like he loved you
"I didn't forget about your award sweetheart, I was too drunk to remember anything at all, woke up hungover the next evening and i realized what I had done. In an effort to forget about you, I forgot everything else as well. I know it's not an excuse but i just need to tell you" He said, his expression guilty and distraught
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to yourself
"Why were you trying to forget about me? Why not just come see me? or call me? "
Your innocent questioning eyes made jake close his eyes in impending sorrow. He leaned down and kissed u deeply, tasting your hot mouth to stabilize himself before pulling back and telling you everything.
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You layed wide wake, stroking your fingers through jake's hair as he slept soundly snuggled into your chest. His soft snores and breath hitting your clavicle.
Honestly you weren't surprised that his manager had done such a thing. You weren't a fool, you noticed the hostile stares he would shoot your way everytime you went over to the boys' dorms or practice sessions. His eyes were always set on you in a glaring warning, as if to say, "you're not welcome here"
You hated that you understood where he was coming from. Being responsible for an entire group's reputation must be hard and your presence only made it harder.
You sighed and hugged jake's head closer to you, burying your nose in his hairs, breathing him in after so long. His hands were around your waist, grip so tight even in his sleep, it made you feel safe and so loved. This was all you wanted. Him in your arms, was that really too much to ask for?
You were still awake about two hours later, sleep just wouldn't come to you, head filled with so many thoughts. You tried slipping out from his grip to fetch water but his strong hands were pulling your body back into him
"Hmm don't go" He mumbled, his voice heavy and sleep ridden, eyes still closed but brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and kissed his nose, trying to slip again when his eyes opened wide, a gasp escaped your lips when he was flipping you over, resting his body over yours, nibbling on your ear
"I said don't fucking go" he growled and the sound had you rubbing your thighs together, hands coming up to rest against his shoulders
"I-i was just thirsty" you whispered and he hummed into your skin, nibbling on your ear again, sucking your lobe into his mouth making you whine softly
"I'm thirsty too" he whispered in your ear, his hands moving down to grab your thighs and parting them so he could settle his crotch against your middle, making you feel how hard he was in his jeans
"so fucking thirsty baby" He groaned and thrusted against you, a harsh gasp left your lips at his actions
"J-jake not here" you whispered but even you didn't believe your words, pussy starting to drip just from the way his voice sounded so husky and deep in your ear. His hands groped your lower body, taking a handful of your ass as he issued another thrust against you
Before you could tell him to stop again, he was pulling back, standing on his knees between your legs while he hastily undid his belt and jeans
"I'm sorry sweetheart I just can't wait any fucking longer, I need to put it in" he panted, you squirmed underneath him, watching how he was quick to pull his pants down his legs, his boxers coming off along with them, hanging around his thighs
He didn't bother taking his clothes all the way off, desperate hands reaching under your skirt to pull your panties down your legs
Your breathing was heavy, eyes pivoted to the hard dick that hung between his legs, arousal gushing down your slit when he rubbed a finger against your hole while fisting his own dick a few times "such a pretty fucking pussy"
"jake please" you moaned and he cursed, coming up to capture your lips into his own while he settled between your legs, rubbing his cock against your leaking cunt, rubbing it up and down, bumping against your engorged clit, making you moan into his mouth that was busy licking into yours
The feeling of being so close to each other after so long had you feeling hot and heavy
"Yeah baby? you want it?" he demanded, eyes dark and lust ridden as he gazed into your teary ones
"Y-yes please" you mumbled and jake clenched his jaw. Fuck. You were sweeter than candy and he couldn't control himself when it came to you
He rested his forehead against yours, looking down to stare at how his dick entered your warm sex, hips grinding to slide in smoother and deeper. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan upon the feeling of him inside of you after so long "baby f-fuck" he groaned into your mouth, feeling his resolve to go soft on you fading away at the way your tight walls were clenching around him
"you're sucking me in baby, so tight"
His words made your hips twitch. The indication enough for him to start moving in you. Your nails dug into his shoulders from above his shirt that he still wore as his hips started snapping against yours, his balls smacking filthily against your ass
His hot moans were making you wetter, drool escaping your mouth at the pleasure
"ts so good baby I fucking missed this" he pants, his hands groping your body mercilessly as he kept moving in and out of your leaking pussy
He licked the drool escaping your lips, sticking his tongue inside your hot mouth, licking into it with urgency while he moved your legs upwards, pressing your body in a mating press, increasing his pace
Harsh animalistic thrusts were sending your body in a ripple, making you move back and forth as he moved above you, sending the headboard of the bed slamming against the wall, the sex getting louder, messier
"Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah" he insinuated with every grind of his hips into you, meshing your lower bodies together to create a friction so insane it had you moaning his name in a chant, mind numbing pleasure clouding your senses
You both shared open mouth kisses, sucking on each other's tongue lewdly, uncaring of how messy it was, you loved messy
His hands moved up to hold onto the headboard above your head as he moved his hips deeper into yours, letting your legs fall around his hips, wrapping around his waist, your ankles digging into his ass to keep him buried deep inside of your warm cunt
"Wanted to make love to you but look what you fucking do to me" he groaned into your mouth, occasionally licking into it and digging his teeth into your lower lip, making you whine and moan in extreme pleasure. His dick made out with your cervix, bumping pleasurably into your g spot, penetrating your womb mercilessly
The sound of the headboard slamming was getting louder, bed creaked beneath your writhing bodies, the sweat on your naked bodies making it easier to slide against each other
Your moans were getting louder as his silent curses reached a fever pitch, a bunch of "Umhhnshit baby" and "so good" s falling from his lips, hips getting sloppier, pistoning in and out of you in a frenzy, uncaring of how your mother could probably hear you get pounded into the sheets
"s-so close jake I'm so close" you moaned and his hips got faster, his hand sneaking down to rub against your clit to make u reach your high faster. He couldn't wait to feel you gushing around his cock "that's right baby, make a fucking mess on me yeah?" he groaned, biting your lower lip and rubbing harshly against you, his hips never faltering, thrusting and thrusting until you were cumming all over his dick with a scream of his name
The moan was so pornographic it had him cumming within minutes of feeling the delicious clench of your cunt around his aching cock, filling you up to the brim, harsh pants escaping his lips as he used your pussy to ride his orgasm, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sighs of satisfaction filled the empty space between your mouths
Harsh breaths were shared as you both came down from your highs, sharing sweet kisses and confessions, a string of "I love you" s falling from his lips while his palms caressed your body softly, rubbing against the parts where he'd grabbed you harshly
"Don't you need to go back? what will your manager do if he finds out you're here with me?" you asked some time later, his dick was still in you, feeling too good to cockwarm him just like this
He kissed you softly and shook his head "Told jay to take care of it. I honestly couldn't care less baby I just need you"
You bit your lower lip, getting shy now that he was being so sweet to you, not used to have him say such things to you casually "But u should care jake, you can't just risk your career for me"
"I could do anything for you. Nothing matters if you're not there, I hope you know that sweetheart" he whispered in your mouth before kissing you deeply again. "I hope you also know how proud of you I am my pretty little artist, no one else deserved that award more than you baby"
You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and kissed him back, heart feeling full and all insecurities fading away at his words, cheeks flaming red from his compliments, unable to hide the smile overtaking your face
"I love you" you whispered, as if saying them any louder would take the meaning of the words away
"Yeah? Say that again baby" He whispered back and you giggled shyly, burying your face in the crook of his neck where you repeated the words again
He chuckled and kissed the side of your head adoringly "I love you so much too baby, and I'm going to show it to you every waking moment, I'm gonna love on you till you're begging me to stop"
You curled your body further into him at his words, heart feeling giddy after a very long time. Hoping that this feeling would last forever.
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1K notes · View notes
sturnsslut · 7 months ago
Text
better - matt sturniolo
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a/n - this is a filler until i’m done with my chris smut 😔. i’m sorry there’s a lot of yapping but the backstory matters !
contains - soft dom!matt x sub!reader, fighting (barley), unprotected sex, mirror sex, praise, fingering, begging, oral
summary - reader and matt make a bet !
————————————————————————————
‘ i seen your love, you got me baby ‘
it was a friday night and my boyfriend had just canceled on me last minute for the 3rd time this week. i was literally all dressed up, waiting for him to come and pick me up. i sighed when i read his message saying that he " had something come up "
bullshit.
i had a feeling he had been cheating on me for a while, but i didn't have any solid proof so i just stayed quiet. i was about to get into my pajamas when i got a text from nick saying how theyre having a party at their house tonight , and how matt would pick me up.
nick 💗
HEY
we're having a party tn
can you come
pleaseeeeee
matt can pick you up
i feel like i haven't seen you in forever
you
nick it's been 4 days 😭
but i mean
let me see
i pulled out my phone to text liam, my boyfriend . i had to make sure that we really weren't going out , so i was just double checking.
liam
Can't go
Something came up
you
bro what ??
im literally ready
why tf is this just now being brought up
liam
I don't know what you want me to do lmfao
you
im going to nicks party then
liam
Says who?
Your staying at the house
you
why are you being weird 💀
yes i am
lmfao ok dad
liam
That fucking matt kid
Your always looking at him
And he looks at you like he's
in love or some shit so no your not going
you
bro
u can't be serious
i never look at him
liam
K well
i don't want you close enough to him
so that there's even a chance something could happen
you
k.
read 10:39 pm
i laughed and rolled my eyes, he really thinks he's in control of me...i scrolled back to nicks contact and texted him
you
come get me 😝
nick
YAYYYY
we're like 5 mins away
can we come in so i can say hi to ur cat
you
omfg 😭 yea
im ready anyways cause
ofc my bf cancelled on me again
nick
girl.
you can do better
i feel like everyone knows
he's cheating on you...
you
yea me to
i just don't have any proof yet
anyways lmk when ur here
nick
okay
we're like abt to pull up
you
doors unlocked 😛
i waited until i saw their van in my driveway, and opened the door watching them walk up to my porch
immediately hugged nick and chris, but i just smiled at matt and he returned the gesture.
there had always been something, weird between me and matt. it wasn't friendship, but it wasn't hate either. it was weird.
i led nick to my room and picked up my cat, kiko, handing her to him
i walked out of my room to see chris sitting on the couch and matt just leaning against the door on his phone, like he couldn't wait to leave.
“uh you know you can sit down matt...” i said awkwardly, causing him to look up from his phone and just respond with “i know”
i shrugged it off and went back to my room where i'd left nick, and asked him what he thought of my outfit.
i asked him if he thought it was ' too formal ' for a party since it was originally an outfit for my date.
i was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, my hair down and some light makeup
“girl you look hot. don't change” i smiled and went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup a little, once i was done i grabbed my bag and asked nick if we're ready to go “you ready?” i questioned, putting my bag on my arm
“yeah let's go” he said before saying bye to kiko and putting her down
“come on guys” nick said walking out of my room, resulting in everyone making their way to the door.
once we got into the van i was in the back , with nick while chris and matt were up front obviously. on the way there, i just had the urge to look up from my phone
i looked up and caught matt starring at me through the rearview mirror, he immediately looked away once he saw me though.
we eventually got to the triplets house and it was already packed. we all got out of the van and while we were making our way to the door, i asked nick “you let all these people here without you guys home?”
“yeah, justin and nate are here so it should be fine.”
i hummed in response and walked behind nick and chris, with matt behind me for some reason.
nate opened the door and dapped up matt after i walked in, and i heard him say “hot date bro”
“she's not my date” matt replied sounding slightly annoyed. nate raised a brow in confusion
“then…why..were you walking behind her? and starring at her ass, like, the entire time you were walking up…me and justin literally saw you through the window.”
i turned my head around for a quick second to see matt shushing nate and punching him (sort of) playfully on the shoulder
i felt my cheeks heat up, but why? why did i care how matt was looking at me? whatever.
i made my way to the kitchen where nick and chris were, we just gossiped about random shit.
nick was talking to chris and while i waited for my turn to speak, i looked around and saw...my boyfriend? what? he said he had an emergency?
and of course, he was making out with some skanky bitch from my school who knew we'd been dating.
i told nick i'll be right back and made my way over.
“fuck you. family emergency?? your fucking unbelievable.” i shoved him then faced the girl “and bitch as for you, he's gonna do the same shit hes doing to me right now. you aren't gonna fucking last.”
he looked totally wasted and was slurring his words, but i heard him say “you were just a good fuck. get over it.”
i looked at him in disbelief for a moment before i said something back “can't say the same for you. you have a small dick.” and with that, i walked off.
tons of people were starring at me of course, but i was too mad to even care. i made my way to the bathroom to calm down, before i heard a knock on the door.
“what the fuck do you want” i blurted out without even thinking who it could be.
“um..it's matt, can i come in?” i instantly covered my mouth feeling bad about how i had spoken to him
i unlocked the door and opened it, letting him in. “i'm sorry. i didn't know who it was” i apologized
“no no, it's okay. i just wanted to check on you and see if your okay.”
i sighed and sat down on the toilet seat while he leaned against the wall in front of the mirror
“i mean..not really, just pissed at how much time and energy i wasted on him.”
he stayed silent and didn't say anything, waiting for me to finish what i was saying “i knew he was cheating but i didn't wanna believe it, i feel fucking stupid” i continued
“your not stupid” he shrugged and continued “he's stupid for loosing someone like you.” i thanked him and sighed, resting my head in my hands
“and…if he has a small dick he's nothing to cry over” he smiled
i laughed, “he wasn't even good in bed either oh my god.” i added and laughed
"really?” matt turned his head to look at me, furrowing his brows for a second and smiling, while crossing his arms
“yeah. sorry if this is too much but like..i never finished when i was with him” i giggled at the embarrassing confession
he laughed and paused for a moment before saying “you would if you were with me”
i giggled thinking he was joking, and replied with “doubt it”
matt raised his eyebrows and locked the door, “wanna bet?”
that's when i realized he wasn't joking, i stood up and leaned against the sink infront of him " how much " i smirked at him
“ $50. i know how to use my hands, mouth, and dick. im confident i could make you cum, that's a promise.”
“fine, prove it then” i said nodding my head
“don't start shit you can't finish. im serious.” he said looking me in my eyes
“so am i, i wanna see if you can put your money where your mouth is”
“ y/n ,” he said smiling and shaking his head , leaning into me, resting one of his hands on the sink
“matt.” i responded teasingly
he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his dick, making me feel his giant boner
“you see what your doing to me? i will fuck you until you can't even remember his name.”
“do it then” i smirked, ' he's all talk ' is what i was thinking, until he firmly placed his lips on mine
it was quick to turn sloppy, he picked me up and set me on the edge of the sink so i was perfectly aligned with his dick
he started making his way down slowly by leaving hickeys all down my neck, i wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged it slightly, but not too hard
that's when he lifted up my dress and placed one of his hands on my waist, while the other rubbed my clit through my underwear
he was looking me in my face but i was so needy for more of him, that i couldn't even look him in the eyes.
“what? you can't take it anymore?” he smirked at me, still making eye contact and then inching his hand fully down my panties sticking two fingers inside me
(guys i giggled at panties but i didn't know what other word to use)
i bit my lip slightly taking a deep breath in at the amount of pleasure i was in. even tho all he did was tease me, it felt amazing. like he had this power over me.
he started moving his fingers slow, but picked up the pace fast. i threw my head back in pleasure, while my hands grabbed at his shoulders.
fuck. maybe he could make me cum after all .
as good as it felt, i needed a break because if he fingered me for any longer, i would've lost $50.
i grabbed his hand and pulled it away and hopped off of the counter, immediately getting on my knees
i began to unzip his pants when he suddenly stops me and grabs my chin, raising my head and making me look at him
“i don't know if your ready..” he said looking at me with a smirk
i rolled my eyes smiling slightly, and continued undoing his pants "okay..." he answered, throwing his hands up in surrender
i pulled his pants down to his ankles and then looked up to see his boxers, and i could obviously see his giant print
i pulled down his boxers , revealing an easy 9 inches. i started at it for a few seconds before shrugging and shoving in 6 inches or so
as i switched between my hands and my mouth, i swirled my tongue around his tip causing him to let out a low groan
“shit ..” he threw his head back in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushing himself further into my mouth
i felt it in the back of my throat. i heard him mumbling all types of swear words, and at that point he's basically just fucking my throat
“how was that” say standing up to face him, smirking up at him still catching my breath
“your really good” he smirked at me, before picking me up and setting me back on the sink again “your turn”
he pulls out of the kiss and bends down slightly, resting his hands on my inner thighs, spreading my legs a little
“let me do this for you, all you need to do is hold your legs up. but if you can't handle it, just put em on my shoulders, okay?” he says looking me in my eyes, all i could do at that point was just nod eagerly, hopefully showing how bad i needed him.
and with that, he starts to go down on me. i arched my back unintentionally, i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help myself. it just felt like he belonged there
this man wasn't lying when said he knows how to make a girl beg, not even close to a lie.
i grabbed a handful of his hair and arched my back again when i felt him start to suck on my clit
i slapped my hand over my mouth, remembering how there's other people around.
he took his hand off of my thigh and removed my own hand from my mouth, “don't cover your mouth sweetheart. i wanna know if im doing good”
i shook my head in agreement and grabbed the back of his shirt, needing some sort of support
i can't explain it, but i swear i felt him smirk when i grabbed him, like he knew he was pleasing me so good.
i never knew i needed him, but i do now. his tongue felt so good on me, it just felt right.
i moaned slightly louder than before “shit…” i threw my head back and bit my lip slightly
i started whimpering out of pleasure trying to catch my breath, his tongue was going everywhere and somehow he made every spot feel amazing .
i felt myself get close, but i needed to feel him inside of me. “wait wait wait” i mumbled trying to catch my breath
“what is it baby?” he said looking up at me “ i…fuck hold on.” said panting
“ i want you to fuck me , please matt.” i said in between breaths
“how bad?” he said smirking at me and looking me in my eyes, “tell me how bad you want me.”
“i need you so bad, please” i pleaded, i just wanted him in me and nothing else, him and him only is all i needed.
“good girl.” and with that, he fully stood up and grabbed his dick
he held his tip up to my entrance, running his head up and down my folds causing whimpers to leave both of our mouths. he knowing how bad he was teasing me, but this man was rock hard.
“matt, i want you to fuck me and i know you do to , stop teasing please” i was literally begging this man to just destroy me
he shrugged “i'll try not to stretch you out too much sweetheart.” and with that, he pushed himself inside me without warning, and wow i wasn't ready.
it's like i was so horny i forgot how big he was.
he shoved all of his length inside me , all 9 inches. i cried out in pleasure
he placed his hands on my waist so he could go deeper and guide me , “oh fuck” i muttered and immediately clamped my eyes shut
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin, making me look at him. “look at me, i wanna see how good i make you feel . do i make you feel good, pretty?”
“mhm” i whimpered and shook my head because i couldn't even speak.
“use your words baby. do i?” he spoke firmly, still not breaking eye contact
“yes, yes you make me feel good” i mumbled
“good.” he spoke in a fierce tone as his tip hit my g-spot perfectly each time, making me throw my head back
i heard him say “hey baby, you wanna take off that dress?” he suggested
i nodded while he pulled out and i hopped off of the sink, slipping my dress off
i looked over at matt who was literally starring down my body, “what?” giggled getting flustered
“nothing…you just amaze me. your body is so perfect” he said, still starring me down
i laughed and rolled my eyes and asked if he was ready again, “for you, always. are you?” he emphasized
i bent over the sink and replied “obviously.” he snickered and grabbed my hips, making sure he was perfectly aligned.
i felt him pound himself into me, which, i again for some reason still wasn't used to how big he is.
i had my hands on the sink for support, and when he put himself inside me, i put my head down because it felt so good
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin again and lifted up my head , looking at me through the mirror.
“uh uh. i want you to see how good your taking me.”
i nodded looking at him in the mirror
i watch him look down and smile while furrowing his brows
“you didn't tell me you had a back tattoo baby . it looks good”
“you never ..” i paused as i struggled to get my words out “shit!...asked me” i whined, almost too loudly
“fair enough ..oh fuck” he threw his head back and his thrusting started to get more aggressive
his hand crept up to my neck, placing a firm grip on my neck which sent me over the edge
“matt..baby i can't do it” i said shaking my head while looking at him in the mirror
“yes you can, take it like you said you would.” i nodded and did as he told me
i suddenly felt that knot in my stomach, so i reached behind me and grabbed matts hand from my waist and put it on the sink so that his hand was over mine, and we interlocked our fingers
“you alright? are you gonna cum already? come on, your too easy to please baby .” he asked in a teasing tone, looking at me and smirking
like of course i was. and he obviously knew, he just thought that it was funny to tease me.
“fuck ..matt im gonna-“ i was cut off by me releasing onto his dick, “oh shit” said looking down, i was relieved that a man had actually made me finish, but now i needed to give matt $50 i didn't have ...
“good job baby, you did great” he was literally panting at this point. i could tell was close, just trying not to show it.
i decided to tease a little and see how long he could last.
“you make me feel so good baby” i said looking at him in the mirror
“thats g..fuck” he threw his head back and starting thrusting harder
“you look so good from here” i teased a little more since he thinks when he does it, it's hilarious. i saw him open this mouth to say something but instead just bite the side of his cheek and stay quiet
“i don't care how long it takes you baby, my body is all yours.”
“fuck .. mm oh shit ...in or out”
without answering, i got on my knees and began to jerk him off to his release while looking up at him
“oh shit. fuck..fuck” he lets out a huge loud of cum and i swallow, i dont need a mess.
i get back up and try my best to fix my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, while matt's leaning against the wall panting
i pickup my shoes without even bothering to put them back on , i just re-adjust my dress and forget about everything else.
my hair is all out of place, my lipstick is smeared, my mascara running down my face..i was a mess. but it was totally worth it.
i sit on the toilet seat while matt puts his pants back on.
“i don't need the $50.” matt said suddenly smiling at me, “you ready? you still look good by the way.”
“whatever. let's go” i laughed and rolled my eyes, opening the door
“liam's gonna be so pissed.” i laughed looking back at matt
“i know” he smiled “can't wait to see the look on his face.”
i giggled as we made our way over to liam, who was making out with a different girl.
we stood infront of him and looked at eachother laughing, and as soon as we did we opened his eyes and looked like he'd just seen a ghost
“hi” i said in a teasing voice, tilting my head while doing so
“what the fuck?” he looked back at me and matt in confusion, furrowing his brows like he didn't know what was going on.
“yea so you were kinda right about me and matt ...” i said trying not to burst out laughing
“you fucking whore!” he yelled, gaining the attention of tons of people. they started recording the situation because of how loud he was. “i knew you were cheating on me you slimy little b-“ he got cut off as he got sent to the floor.
matt had punched him.
i covered my mouth in shock but also resisting the urge to not laugh “your...” liam paused , feeling his nose as it gushed blood everywhere “dead.” he continued
“okay, well it's kinda hard to take that threat serious when your on ground”
everybody around us started laughing, apparently nobody liked liam , but it's obvious why.
“your not a real man! y-“ i cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “well he fucks like one. get up and get over it. truth hurts.”
i pat his shoulder and flashed him a faux sympathy smile, before he swatted my hand away causing me to laugh
we walked over to chris and nick who were recording everything on their phones “hey uh, are you guys ready to pack this up?” matt asked them
“yup, i'll get nate and justin to get everyone out.” nick said as he walked away
“dude what the fuck ...” chris giggled as he looked at me and matt " i fucking knew it! nick owes me $20".
“you..made a bet?” i asked, confused
“fuck yea we did” he replied stuffing his mouth with food before walking off
“so like..do you wanna be my girlfriend...or whatever” matt asked me, looking down at the ground
“duh.” smiled and kissed him before going to find nick so i could help clean the mess up
“we're literally never having a party again.” nick complained as we all shoved trash into trash bags
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a/n - um lmk if you wanna be on my tag list 🤗.
@mattssluttygf
621 notes · View notes
azzifuddslover · 2 months ago
Text
༯ OFF THE COURT — CHAPTER THREE 𝜗𝜚
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
themes: jealousy, angst, pining
word count: 3.1k
tw: alcohol use, swearing
a/n: hii my lovely’s! i honestly dk how i feel about this chapter, but i hope u guys enjoy it regardless. also please ignore the shift from past to present tense 😭 i realized i fucked it up like mid way thru but oh well! the movies i mentioned are also so good GO WATCH EM. and if u cant tell i love blushing i find it so cutesy. ALSO ONE SHOT IDEAS PLEASEEEEE. anyway, enjoy and hope y’all have a good week!
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paige has a problem. it wasn’t that her aim was off, causing her to miss shot after shot. it wasn’t that her coach was yelling at her to get her head in the game. no, it wasn’t any of that. it was the fact paige couldn’t stop thinking about the curly brunette, even if her life depended on it.
ever since practice a few days ago, when azzi’s body was flush against hers, azzi had owned paige’s mind. and since her head is elsewhere, she failed to focus on everything else, especially basketball.
“what’s wrong with you?” nika asks paige, confused as to why her game was off, which is extremely rare for her.
without basketball, paige had nothing. basketball gave paige life, ever since a young age. even after trying other sports, her heart was always set on basketball. so when paige’s game had been acting up, it made her teammates, as well as coaches, confused.
paige glances at nika, “what? nothing.”
nika gave paige a don’t bullshit me look, “paige, cmon. you’ve been missing shots all day. something’s gotta be up.”
paige didn’t, wouldn’t tell nika about paige’s tiny issue. “i don’t know. bad day, i guess.”
“well get your shit together. we need you for tomorrow’s game.”
paige looks over at azzi, who was on the opposite side of the gym with caroline, “don’t worry, i will.”
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later that night, paige was already laying in bed when her phone buzzes. it was a text from aubrey, asking the team group chat if anyone wanted to hang.
dorka, paige’s roommate, was already quietly sleeping on the opposite side of the room. paige looks at the time, 9:41 pm; she figured hanging out with her friends wasn’t the worst idea.
paige soon arrives at aubrey’s dorm. she opens the door to find a variety of her teammates; nika was seated on aubrey’s bed along with aubrey, lou was on the floor, while azzi and caroline were on jana’s bed, who wasn’t present.
fuck. of course azzi would show up, despite it being late at night. it was as if azzi somehow knew paige had been thinking about her— appearing just to torment her.
the two met eyes, paige held eye contact a tad longer than she normally would. heat creeped up azzi’s neck.
since there wasn’t much room on either beds, paige slumps against the bed azzi was sitting on.
“so what were y’all doing before i came in?” paige questions her teammates.
“trying to decide on a movie, but nobody is agreeing,” nika replies, annoyance in her voice.
“i say we watch she’s the man, but everyone here doesn’t have good taste, so nobody agrees with me,” aubrey says, rolling her eyes.
paige turns her head up to azzi, “what was your suggestion?”
azzi was caught off guard by paige’s question, “uh, i said about time.”
“oh my god, i love that movie. i agree with azzi,” paige announces.
azzi was shocked, to say the least. she never imagined a world where paige would agree with her.
they settle on about time. nika grabbed a few snacks and passed them around, while lou brought a few drinks in from the tiny kitchen.
a couple minutes into the film, paige grew uncomfortable with her spot on the ground. azzi noticed it by the constant shifting she had been doing. azzi reaches down to tap paige’s shoulder.
“you can come up here if you’re uncomfortable,” azzi whispers so the others wouldn’t be disturbed, while softly patting the spot next to her on the bed.
paige notices that her and carol had already shifted down, making room for paige. her lips curled into a small smile.
without a second thought, paige lifts from the floor and gently sets herself next to azzi, thighs nearly touching.
“thanks,” paige whispers. azzi simply nodded her head.
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throughout the movie, paige’s thigh would occasionally graze azzi’s, sending butterflies to her stomach. there was a spark between the two, surely azzi felt it too.
caroline passes a bag of popcorn over to azzi, who instantly begins consuming it.
“can i have some?” paige questions lightly so she didn’t cause distractions for the others.
“of course,” azzi smiles, placing the popcorn in the middle of them.
their hands would graze while both going for the popcorn, paige let her touch linger longer than she should. she knew better. but her secret azzi fudd obsession got the better of her.
“sorry,” paige mutters, pulling her hand away after embarrassment covered her features.
“i don’t mind,” azzi looks at paige, a soft expression on her face.
paige had always been beautiful to azzi, but in this lighting, in aubrey’s small dorm, sitting on the same bed, mere inches apart, paige looked unreal. her blonde hair was the perfect kind of messy, lips were light pink, eyes so blue that they were practically transparent. paige’s cheeks flush at azzi’s eyes solely focused on her.
“okay guys! i’m exhausted, i’ll see y’all tomorrow,” nika jumps up from her spot, causing heads to look over at her.
paige and azzi took their attention away from each other, despite it being the hardest thing paige had to do.
“yeah, i should go too,” azzi agrees, beginning to move off the bed.
“same,” paige says, also moving from her spot.
the three say their goodbyes before leaving out aubrey’s dorm door. during the short walk down the hallway, the girls discuss their excitement for the first game of the season. they came to the end of the hall, where they could go either left, right, or continue straight. nika headed straight, off to her room. paige was going left, while azzi was going right. but both didn’t make any hints to move yet.
paige leans against the wall, azzi mimics her by doing the same on the opposite wall. a small smile crept onto her lips.
“you ready for tomorrow’s game?” paige questions the younger girl.
“beyond ready,” azzi’s smile only grows. she’s been waiting for this moment since before she could remember; her very first game in college basketball.
“you better be. i’m definitely gonna need you,” paige says without thinking. her eyes widen at her use of i’m. “we, i mean.”
azzi’s cheeks redden at paige’s comment about her needing azzi. not the team— her, accident or not.
“are you ready? you seemed kinda distracted at practice,” azzi brings up.
“i’m fine,” paige says harsher than she meant.
not wanting to deal with paige’s attitude, azzi sighs, “alright. see you tomorrow.”
paige desperately wanted azzi to stay with her. she wanted to grab her by the hand and pull her close; but she knew she couldn’t do that.
“yeah, see ya.”
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the next morning, paige immediately shuts down any azzi thoughts from the previous day. she needs to focus on the game. it was the first of the season, and she eagerly wanted to make it a good one.
she brushes her teeth, washes her face, dresses herself, as dorka did the same.
“ready for this, p?” dorka smiles, excitement buzzing off her tall frame.
“always,” she matches her smile.
the two girls grab their bags and head down to the dining hall to grab some breakfast. nika, aubrey, jana, lou, carol and azzi were already seated and eating away.
paige prepares her meal before taking the spot besides jana, directly across from none other than azzi. they quickly lock eyes before looking away equally as quickly.
the team discusses plays they wanted to run in the upcoming game, all participating and giving suggestions. they soon finish eating before heading down to the gym for some smaller workouts, to get somewhat warmed up.
paige was still struggling to make her shots that she’d normally be making. when azzi notices, she casually walks over.
“can i suggest something?” azzi asks.
paige looks over at her, “hm?”
azzi strolls closer to the older girl, close enough to where paige felt her breath on
the back of her neck.
“what are you doing?” paige asks, breathlessly.
azzi places her hand on paige’s, adjusting it to where she liked. she then moves her elbow, “fixing your form.”
once azzi was done, paige shoots the ball, and is surprised to see it actually go through the basket.
“thanks, i guess,” paige grins.
the two girls continue shooting, getting their reps in when the time came to begin actual warm ups.
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the game was about to begin; paige, nika, aubrey, azzi and jana were the starting 5. azzi feels an intense amount of pressure to do well, since she’s the only freshmen starting tonight.
the five girls huddle together, wide grins on their smiles, beyond ready to get this season going. paige speaks words of encouragement to her teammates as they all get into position.
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uconn was up by 31 points, azzi having 19 while paige has 21.
paige runs the ball up the court, eyeing each teammate of hers. she passes the ball over to nika, who throws it over to azzi. she effortlessly makes the open 3, causing loud roars from the uconn student section.
the team was on a 9-0 run in the third quarter when paige sprints near half court and collides with a member from the other team.
azzi watches it happen and rushes over a little too quickly, for someone who claimed to hate her. azzi appears in front of the older girl, who was lying on the floor face up, and gently places her hands on her knees.
“are you okay?” azzi asks, worry laced in her tone.
paige was silent for a moment, still dazed by the impact. but when she glanced up at the brunette, a sense of calm quickly washed over her.
“yeah,” she answers, grabbing azzi’s hands that were being held out to her.
their hands held onto one another’s a moment too long. their bodies were slightly touching; neither made any movements.
it wasn’t until coach auriemma yelled at them did either of the girls make a move. paige was substituted for ashlynn to rest, and eventually, azzi was also subbed out for caroline to give other players a chance to play, as they were dominating the opposing team.
azzi settles down next to paige, the only spot open on the bench. their thighs were full on touching since the seats were so tight.
azzi rests her elbows on her knees before turning to paige, “you sure you’re okay? that fall looked like it hurt.”
paige smiles at azzi’s worry, “why? do you care or something?” she teases.
azzi’s face lit up with red, “um, no. of course not.”
paige lets out a soft chuckle before playfully pushing the brunette’s face, who who responds with a wide grin, dimples and all.
paige matches her smile with one of her own. god. she was otherworldly.
“you’re so fucking pretty,” paige mumbles, barely audible for azzi to hear, while dropping her heads, wrapping her arms under.
“sorry, what’d you say?”
“nothing,” paige replies, definitely not repeating her words.
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the game ends, the teams high five one another before heading to the locker rooms.
“guys, since we played so well today, we should definitely celebrate,” jana suggests.
“what are you thinking?” nika asks, a smile tugging at her lips.
“ted’s, of course,” she laughs, “is everyone good with 7?”
each team member agree to meet at ted’s, the bar most uconn students attended, around 7. paige was buzzing at the idea of a dirty shirley temple, desperately needing one to get her mind off someone.
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paige showered, applied light makeup, and picked out a comfortable but nice outfit.
around 6:55, paige leaves her apartment with dorka at her side, heading to ted’s.
the bar was absolutely packed with uconn students as well as the women’s basketball team. nika was talking to the bartender, aubrey was laughing at something jana said, while azzi was throwing back a shot.
the air seemed to shift when paige’s gaze lands on the young brunette. her heart instantly quickens as she took in her outfit. a light purple tank top that fit her in all the right places, paired with jean shorts that were doing wonders for her ass. her curls were down, slightly messy but in the most beautiful way possible.
making eye contact with paige causes azzi’s breath to hitch. heat floods her cheeks as she remembers the moments between them from earlier today.
stepping closer to the bar, paige lowers herself into an open seat, directly across from azzi who was completely surrounded by teammates. dorka took the spot next to her while lou made herself over to the two girls.
“dorka! p!” lou greets them, clearly already drunk.
“hey lou lou,” dorka smiles at her friend.
paige waves over the bartender, “can i please have a dirty shirley temple?”
the bartender nods, immediately reaching for a glass. paige was dying for a drink in her hand to take her mind off everything and everyone.
the shirley burns her throat as she took several gulps, downing nearly half the glass.
“calm down there, p,” dorka laughs at paige’s urgency to consume the drink as fast as possible.
“just thirsty,” paige replies.
after finishing her second shirley temple is when she noticed a tall man talking to azzi. her azzi. her fists clench at her sides as she throws a glare their way.
the man then lowers himself into the open seat next to her while casually shifting close, making their faces mere inches apart. azzi fidgets with her fingers, suddenly nervous from the attention.
paige presses her lips in a line to hold back her growing anger that was screaming to come out. all she wanted to do was walk over there and take what’s hers.
paige orders several more drinks, shots, whatever she could to hopefully get rid of the scene in front of her.
when a piece of azzi’s hair falls in front of her face, the man reaches out and brushes it behind her ear. his hand lingers for a moment too long, only causing paige to become more aggravated.
azzi laughs at something he said and paige decides she’s had enough. although she was completely aware she shouldn’t be doing this, she was supposed to hate azzi, she couldn’t help herself. she clutches her drink tightly in her grasp, a idea trickling in her head, and marches over there.
azzi almost instantly spots the blonde moving towards her at a rapid pace. her eyes widen when paige accidentally trips, spilling her drink all over the man.
satisfaction covered paige’s features, proud of her doing.
“jesus fucking christ!” he yelps, quickly jumping up from his position next to azzi.
“i am so sorry,” paige pretends to be genuine and concerned, even though herself and azzi knew it was complete bullshit.
the man grabs napkins, desperately trying to pat himself down, but ultimately failing. he walks away without as much as a glance back at the curly brunette, who continues to remain silent.
“did you seriously have to do that?” azzi questions paige, annoyance on her face.
“it was an accident, azzi,” paige sighs.
“sure it was,” azzi mutters as she grips her drink.
“it was,” paige replies defensively.
paige allows herself to sit where the man once was, feeling the air grow electric with the two being so close. azzi looks almost shaken by their close proximity, her eyes roaming paige’s body.
“paigey!” nika slurs, suddenly grabbing paige’s shoulders.
paige turns to her friend who was beaming, “what’s up nik?”
“oh my goodness, you totally missed it…” nika rants on and on about the hot bartender who was totally checking her out.
“i’ll be back,” nika grins as she jogs off to talk with the bartender once again.
“at least she’s getting some action,” azzi says, rolling her eyes.
“oh my god, i am so sorry i ruined the two minute conversation you had with some idiot. if you’re so interested in him, then be my guest; go find the fucker.”
“maybe i will,” azzi bites out, getting up from her spot and taking off towards the crowd.
it shocks paige that azzi actually went through with it— disappoints her, too. did she genuinely like the guy?
regretting her words, paige follows azzi’s trail, quickly catching up to the freshmen. she grabs her arm, making her twist around to face her.
“please, wait,” paige slurs in her drunken state.
“what do you want?” azzi questions, desperate to know paige’s intentions.
“you,” paige whispers, so quietly azzi can barely make it out.
“speak up, paige,” azzi replies, annoyed.
“please don’t go after him.”
azzi’s eyes crinkle, “and why not? you’re not my keeper.”
paige rests her hands on either one of azzi’s hips, uncontrollably pulling the younger girl closer.
“i know. i know,” she whispers, “just stay. stay here with me.”
azzi was taken aback from paige’s soft tone and sweet words. it was unlike paige to be like this to azzi, so azzi pieced together she must be drunk out of her mind.
“you’re drunk, paige,” azzi says.
“i’m sober enough,” paige’s lips turn up as she moves her hands to azzi’s face.
with her face in her hands, paige rests her forehead against the curly brunette’s, while her gaze drops down to her full, pink lips.
“what are you doing, paige?”
paige closes her eyes, not wanting to think about everything wrong with what she was doing and how it’d be like tomorrow.
“i don’t know. fuck, i don’t know. i just want to be close to you,” she whispers.
azzi gently places her hands on paige’s waist, pulling the older girl impossibly closer.
“fuck, az,” paige mutters, “i can’t stop thinking about you.”
paige was all azzi could hear, despite the loud crowd and blasting music around her. and her words meant everything.
“no matter how hard i try, you’re always there. you with your perfect curls and cute ass dimples,” paige smiles, twisting with a singular curl with her finger.
“oh yeah?” azzi matches the grin.
“yeah,” paige says, gaze focused on her lips.
right as paige leans in, azzi suddenly jerks back, her eyes wide with panic.
“p— paige, no. you’re drunk. you’ll regret it tomorrow,” she stutters, frantically stepping out of paige’s touch.
paige reaches out for azzi’s frame, “no i won’t.”
practically tripping over herself, azzi rushes over to her previous seat with paige right on her heels. she grabs her belongings before giving a lone glance back at the blonde; she was breathing hard, hands slightly shaking, with a disappointed yet shameful expression on her face.
azzi turns away and is gone before paige had the time to blink.
“god fucking dammit,” paige mutters to herself, ashamed of her actions that caused azzi to run off.
paige finds an open spot at the bar and orders yet another round of shots, not caring about the concerned looks she was receiving from her teammates.
paige swallows shot after shot, trying to drown her sorrows and any lingering thoughts of azzi. of course she had to ruin whatever was happening between them. of course.
“paige, don’t you think that’s enough for tonight?” aubrey cautiously questions her friend.
paige drunkenly chuckles, “not even close,” throwing back another burning shot.
186 notes · View notes
the-oblivious-writer · 1 month ago
Text
Let the Light In |8|
Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Chapter Eight: Old Temptations
Summary: After hiding yourself away for weeks, Anika and Henry get you to return to the living. While you're at the party they bring you to, you run into Tara before a third-party runs into your fists.
Warning(s): Swearing, fighting - whoop whoop!! that's the sound, social interactions, and drinking (underage)
Notes: I made at least ten drafts, combined them, adjusted, and here is the final product. This is more of an R focused chapter, so you'll start to see more of the internal struggles she goes through along with a special guest start. As always, I hope you enjoy
Masterlist|Previous Part|Next Part
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The incandescent lights of Henry's apartment building buzz overhead as you follow him and Anika up the concrete stairs. Your boots echo against each step, creating a hollow rhythm that matches your reluctant heartbeat. You've been dreading this party all week, but your friends had worn you down with their relentless enthusiasm and pointed comments about your "hermit tendencies."
"I still can't believe you actually agreed to come," Henry says over his shoulder, his keys jingling as he searches for the right one. "Usually getting you out after exams is like trying to coax a cat into taking a bath."
"Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf," you mutter, knowing full well it's a lie. The only reason you'd agreed was because they'd caught you in a moment of weakness—specifically, when you were coming down from a three-day study binge and your defenses were too low to properly deflect their persistent pestering.
Anika snorts, adjusting her glittering top that catches the harsh hallway light. "Right. And I'm going to start watching silent films with you."
"Charlie Chaplin’s a classic," you defend, following them into Henry's apartment. The familiar scent of his signature sandalwood candles hits you immediately. 
"Whatever you say, grandma," Henry teases, disappearing into his bedroom. You can hear him rummaging around, probably looking for whatever he plans to wear tonight.
You collapse onto his worn leather couch, the same one he'd rescued from a curb three years ago. Despite its questionable origins, it's the most comfortable piece of furniture you've ever encountered. Maybe if you sink deep enough into it, they'll forget you're here and leave without you.
Anika perches on the arm of the couch, already touching up her makeup in a compact mirror. "You know," she starts, and you recognize that tone—it's the one she uses when she's about to say something she thinks you won't like. "Tara might be there tonight."
Your stomach does an uncomfortable flip. "And why would I care about that?"
"Oh, I don't know," Anika draws out the words, applying another coat of mascara with practiced precision. "Maybe because you've been moping around ever since your little disappearing act?"
"I haven't been moping," you protest, but even you can hear how weak it sounds. "I've been studying. There's a difference."
"Right," she says, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
You open your mouth to argue, then close it again. The past few weeks have been a blur of textbooks, coffee, and a blend of mathematical formulas and historical documentations. You'd thrown yourself into exam preparation with perhaps more vigor than strictly necessary, but that was just your way of dealing with stress. 
It definitely had nothing to do with how you'd ignored her texts afterward.
Dork (3:47 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) I can't make it tonight
Tara (3:48 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) oh. lemme knw when u can reschedule 
Dork (3:48 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) Tara, don't do that
Tara (3:49 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) dont wat????
Dork (3:49 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) I know what 'oh' means
Tara (3:50 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) well then eblighten me cuz idk what ur ymmaring abt
Dork (3:51 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) *Enlighten/*yammering, and never mind
Tara (3:51 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) 🤓 is u fr 
Dork (3:52 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) Excuse me? 
Tara (3: 52 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) i have to explain??? but i thougt u were all knowing!
Dork (3:53 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) *Thought. I know you know how to spell, you're just reckless with a keyboard
Tara (3:53 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) my question is when did i ask
Dork (3:54 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) That's an improvement
Tara (3:54 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) stfup.
Henry emerges from his bedroom, now wearing a fitted crop-top that every guy wore in the 80’s. "Are we talking about the Tara situation?"
"There is no 'Tara situation,'" you insist, making air quotes with your fingers. "Can we please just go to this party so I can suffer through it and get back to my peaceful, drama-free existence?"
"Drama-free?" Henry laughs, grabbing his keys. "Is that what we're calling your one-person production of 'Hamlet' these last eighteen years?"
You bite your thumb at him, but there's no real heat behind it. These are your best friends, after all, and you know their teasing comes from a place of love. Even if they're being particularly annoying about it tonight.
The drive to the party is a blur of street lights and the sound of Abbey Road. You're behind the wheel of your beloved '70 Ford Maverick, a car that Henry constantly ridicules. Anika claims the passenger seat, still fussing with her makeup, while Henry sprawls in the back, giving you directions that are more confusing than helpful.
"No, no, turn left at the next—wait, I meant right. My other left."
"Your other left?" you deadpan, making the turn anyway. "How many lefts do you have?"
"Don't sass the navigator," he replies primly. "Oh, there it is! The house with all the cars out front."
You pull up to the curb about half a block away, already feeling your anxiety spike at the sight of the crowded frat house. Music pulses from within, so loud you can feel it in your chest even from here. People mill about on the front lawn, red cups in hand, their laughter carrying through the night air.
"Remind me again why I agreed to this?" you ask, killing the engine but making no move to get out of the car.
Anika turns to you, her expression softening slightly. "Because Henry threatened to sing the entire soundtrack of 'Cats' outside your bedroom door if you didn't come."
"That was a low blow," you mutter, finally unbuckling your seatbelt. "You know how much I hate that musical."
"Desperate times," Henry says cheerfully, already out of the car and bouncing on his heels with excitement. "Come on, let's go find out what kinds of terrible decisions we can make tonight!"
You follow your friends up the walkway, trying to ignore the way your palms are already sweating. The last party you'd attended had been... well, it had been a week before your self-imposed exile. The night Tara had looked at you with those impossibly dark eyes and asked if you wanted to get some air, and you'd panicked and made up an excuse about needing to check on your nonexistent fish.
The front door is already open, music and voices spilling out into the night. As soon as you cross the threshold, you're hit with a wall of sensory input that makes your head spin. The air is thick with artificial fog from a machine hidden somewhere in the corner, mixed with the distinctive scent of cheap beer and various perfumes and colognes. Multi-colored lights pulse in time with the music, turning everything into a strobing dreamscape and your nightmare.
Henry guides you through the crowd with a gentle hand on your back, navigating the sea of bodies with practiced ease. You catch glimpses of familiar faces as you pass. They all blur together in the dim light, becoming a kaleidoscope of features that makes your head swim.
You end up at yet another worn leather couch that's seen better days, probably around the same era as your car. Henry gestures for you to sit, and you do, grateful for something solid beneath you. The cushions seem to want to swallow you whole, and for once, you don't fight it.
"I'll get us drinks!" Henry shouts over the music, already backing away into the crowd. "Don't move!"
Anika lingers for a moment, looking torn between staying with you and pursuing whatever—or whoever—has caught her attention across the room. You wave her off with a weak smile. "Go. I'll be fine right here, becoming one with the furniture."
She hesitates another second before grinning. "Try to have some fun, okay? And text me if you need an escape plan." Then she's gone, disappearing into the crowd with the grace of Mindy, someone who actually enjoys these sorts of gatherings.
Left alone, you let yourself sink deeper into the couch, watching the party unfold around you. A group of girls near the makeshift dance floor are attempting some sort of choreographed routine, though the alcohol in their systems is making it more comedic than coordinated. Two guys are engaged in what appears to be an intense debate about pizza toppings, their gestures becoming more animated with each passing second.
The bass line of whatever song is playing thrums through your body, making your bones vibrate in a way that's not entirely unpleasant. You find yourself timing your breathing to it, using it as an anchor in the chaos. This isn't so bad, you think. You can handle this. It's just a few hours, and then you can go home and binge-watch your comfort shows until the sun comes up.
"Y/L/N special!" Henry's voice breaks through your thoughts as he returns, thrusting a red solo cup into your hands. The liquid inside is an alarming shade of orange that definitely doesn't occur in nature.
You eye it suspiciously. "What exactly makes it a ‘Y/L/N special'?"
"The fact that it's specifically designed for the same people who despise candy unless it's 99% cacao," he explains, dropping onto the couch beside you with his own drink—something amber-colored that you assume is actually beer.
"That's... oddly thoughtful," you admit, taking a tentative sip. It tastes like water that’s had lemons and limes soak in it for months, the kick makes your tongue tingle. "And dangerous."
"Just pace yourself," he advises, watching as more people filter into the already crowded space. "Oh hey, isn't that Charlotte?"
You follow his gaze to see Charlotte, the person you ended things with through a text message. You try to hide behind the red plastic in your hand as you sip, but you nearly spill your bitter bread water all over yourself when she notices you. You can tell it caught her off guard; her eyes slightly widened and she took an uncomfortably long pause mid-sentence. This pause caused her friends to look over which only made things even more awkward—at least for you. After shooting daggers at you and one of them flipping you off, they linked elbows with Charlotte and took her to a different room.
You know you deserved it.
Henry sucked his teeth. “Ouch. Casanova strikes again,” he chuckled with amusement.
“Ugh,” you express in response to the name for you before downing the last of the liquid in your cup. “I’m out. I’m gonna get one more.”
One drink turns into two, two turns into three, and somewhere during your debate with Henry over which Ninja Turtle’s the best one, you’re interrupted by a pair of familiar dark brown eyes meeting yours. Your attention always seemed to gravitate towards Tara Carpenter. 
You momentarily pause your expression of admiration for Leonardo, peeking over Henry’s shoulder to give Tara a downwards smile paired with a finger wave. She rolls her eyes and returns your finger wave in a mocking gesture. After Henry realizes what’s grabbed your attention, he makes an excuse to walk away.
You're nursing your fifth orange drink when she materializes beside you, seemingly out of thin air. "Seriously?" The word drips with exasperation. "You're actually hiding behind Henry?"
"I'm not hiding," you protest, pulling yourself up to what you hope is a dignified height. "I'm strategically positioning myself for optimal social avoidance."
Tara snorts—an inelegant sound that somehow makes her more endearing. "Is that what we're calling it?" 
The space between you crackles with a tension that's part irritation, part something else entirely. 
"I could ask you the same thing," you counter with a crack in your voice. Tara notices this and slightly raises an eyebrow while giving you a once-over. "Pretty sure you've been standing in the exact same spot for the last twenty minutes."
Her eyes narrow. "I'm observing."
"Stalking," you correct automatically.
"Strategically positioning myself," she throws your earlier words back at you, and there's a glint in her eye that makes your breath catch.
For a moment, you felt uncharacteristically at ease in such a setting—when you catch a fragment of a conversation that makes your blood run cold. 
“—Carpenter's got a mouth on her that could—"
The words slice through your alcohol-induced haze like a knife. Your head whips around so fast you almost give yourself whiplash, searching for the source of the comment. Two guys are leaning against the wall near the stairs, one of them making crude gestures as he continues to make vile comments about Tara.
The pleasant warmth in your system transforms instantly into liquid fire. You recognize one of them—Marcus Wheeler from your Calculus class, the one who always makes inappropriate comments during lectures and thinks he's God's gift to mathematics. The other is unfamiliar, but the way he's laughing and encouraging Marcus makes your skin crawl.
Your muscles tense. Tara notices immediately. "Don't," she warns, a single word packed with more meaning than should be possible.
But you're already moving, your body acting before your brain can fully process the decision. 
Your fist connects with his jaw before you even realize you've thrown the punch. There's a satisfying crack that you feel more than hear, followed by a burst of pain across your knuckles that you're too angry to properly register. The pain sends a rush through you, pushes you, tempts you for more. 
Marcus staggers back, both surprised and hurt, but recovers quickly. He lunges for you, but your muscle memory kicks in. You sidestep, using his momentum against him, and somehow you end up on top of him, getting in another solid hit before strong hands pull you away.
The world comes rushing back all at once. The music has stopped, replaced by the murmur of shocked voices and the ringing in your ears. Everyone is staring at you, their faces a blur of surprise and judgment. Marcus is on the ground, blood trickling from his split lip, and presumably broken nose, looking at you with a mixture of rage, disbelief, and fear.
Your chest feels too tight, like someone's wrapped steel bands around your ribcage and is slowly tightening them. The weight of what you've just done crashes over you like a wave, threatening to pull you under. You need to get out—now.
You shoulder your way through the crowd, ignoring Henry calling your name, ignoring the whispers that follow in your wake. Someone tries to grab your arm, but you shake them off, focused solely on reaching the door. The cool night air hits your face like a slap when you finally burst outside, but you keep walking, your hands shaking as the adrenaline starts to wear off.
The crisp winter air hits you like a slap when you stumble outside, your breath forming small clouds in the freezing night.
“Wait!”
When did she get here?
"Let me see," Tara's voice cuts through your alcohol-induced haze, her hand reaching for yours with a familiarity that makes your head spin—or maybe you've had one too many of those orange drinks.
You thrust your hand toward her dramatically, wincing as the movement sends a spike of pain through your bruised knuckles.
"I totally got that incel good," you slur, a giggle bubbling up from somewhere deep and slightly unhinged. The ice beneath your feet seems to shimmer with your triumph.
Tara's fingers hover just above your hand, not quite touching but close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from her skin. "You're going to need ice for that," she says, her tone caught between exasperation and something else—something softer.
"Ice, huh?" You look down at the ground, the irony not lost on you. 
With exaggerated precision, you bend down and scoop up a handful of snow, pressing it against your knuckles. The cold bites, but it's a welcome contrast to the burning anger and alcohol still coursing through your system.
"This works, right?" You look up at her, your eyes wide and slightly unfocused. The world tilts slightly, but Tara remains steady—an anchor in your spinning vision.
Something flickers in her eyes—amusement, maybe. "You're something else," she mutters, but there's no real bite to the words.
Emboldened by alcohol and adrenaline, you lean in closer. The words tumble out before you can stop them. "So… I never did get an answer to that proposal."
Tara goes very still. A smile begins to form, tentative and fragile as first light. 
She chuckles at your remark before shaking her head and scoffing to herself. "Sometimes I just don't get you," she says with a smile still etched on her face, but there's more complexity in those words than simple dismissal as she stares back into your eyes.
Confusion must show on your face because she looks away, the streetlight catching the curve of her cheek, the set of her jaw. You didn’t know what else to say so you just said the first thing that came to mind. 
“Merry birthday, Tar,” you said. 
She’s taken aback by this. She didn’t know what to say, yet still opened her mouth to respond. Maybe something would come to her, but before anything did—
"There you are!" Anika's voice cuts through the moment like a knife. Your car pulls up to the curb, engine running warm against the freezing air. "We need to get out of here before that guy calls the cops."
The moment dissolves. Tara takes a step back, creating distance that feels more emotional than physical. You're left standing there, snow melting between your fingers, the taste of unresolved everything burning at the back of your throat.
As you climb into the passenger seat, you catch one last glimpse of her in the side mirror—a silhouette, perfectly still and impossibly distant.
The drive home is mostly silent, broken only by the occasional sigh from Anika and the gentle humming of your car's engine. Your knuckles throb in time with your heartbeat, a steady reminder of your momentary loss of control. The adrenaline is wearing off now, replaced by a mixture of embarrassment and alcohol-induced wooziness that makes you slouch lower in your seat.
"You know," Anika finally says as she pulls into your shared apartment complex, "when I said you needed to be more social, starting another fight wasn't exactly what I had in mind."
You grunt in response, too busy focusing on the way the world is tilting slightly to form actual words. The drinks are hitting harder now that the excitement is over, making everything feel soft around the edges.
"Use your words," she chides, killing the engine. 
"Words are for people who don't punch assholes at parties," you mumble, fumbling with your seatbelt. The simple mechanism seems impossibly complex right now.
Anika reaches over to help you, her movements gentle despite her exasperated tone. "Come on, Rocky Balboa. Let's get you inside."
Getting up the stairs to your second-floor apartment proves to be an adventure. You insist you can do it yourself, but after the third time you miss a step, Anika wraps an arm around your waist and practically drags you up.
"I can walk," you protest, even as you lean heavily against her.
"Sure you can. Just like you can make rational decisions at parties, right?" 
You attempt to glare at her, but the effect is somewhat ruined when you stumble over your own feet. "He deserved it."
"Oh, I'm not arguing that point," Anika says, fishing her keys out of her purse while still supporting most of your weight. "Marcus Wheeler is definitely in the running for Biggest Douchebag of the Year. But maybe next time we could handle it without violence? You know, like adults?"
"Adulting is overrated," you declare as she manages to get the door open. "If I was a kid, I could just pull Tara's pigtails or something."
Anika steers you toward the kitchen, depositing you none too gently into one of the mismatched chairs around your small table. "Okay, first of all, that's not the approach to crushing on someone that you think it is. Second, stay put while I get the first aid kit."
You slump forward, resting your forehead against the cool surface of the table. "Not crushing," you mumble into the wood. "Just... emotionally compromised."
"Right," Anika calls from the bathroom, where you can hear her rummaging through cabinets. "And I'm just 'casually interested' in my hot girlfriend."
"That's different," you argue, lifting your head slightly. "You two are together. You’re attached to the hip—you don’t hide from each other."
"Ha! So you admit you were hiding!"
You let your head thunk back down onto the table. "I admit nothing. I was studying. Very intensely. In locations where certain people were statistically unlikely to appear."
Anika returns with the first aid kit and a bag of frozen peas, setting both on the table. "Sit up, you disaster. Let me see your hand."
You comply with a dramatic sigh, straightening in your chair and holding out your injured hand. Your knuckles are already starting to bruise, spots of purple blooming across the skin. There are a few small cuts, probably from where you caught Marcus's teeth.
"This might sting," Anika warns before dabbing at the cuts with an alcohol wipe. You hiss through your teeth but don't pull away. "So," she continues, her tone deceptively casual, "want to talk about what really happened back there?"
"Not particularly," you mutter, watching as she carefully cleans each cut. "Can we just chalk it up to temporary insanity and move on?"
"You punched a guy for talking shit about Tara." She applies antibiotic ointment with practiced efficiency. "That's not temporary insanity. That's feelings."
You try to pull your hand away, but she holds firm. "It's not— I just— He was being gross!"
"Mhmm." She wraps your knuckles in gauze with precise movements. "And the fact that it was about Tara specifically had nothing to do with your reaction?"
"I would have done the same for anyone," you insist, even though you both know it's a lie. "It's about basic human decency."
"Right. Basic human decency. That's why you've been moping around our apartment for two weeks, taking different routes, and muttering under your breath when you think I can't hear you."
Before you can form a suitably indignant response, your phone buzzes. Henry's face appears on the screen, caught mid-laugh at some long-ago hangout.
You put the call on speaker, feeling too exhausted to hold the phone. Henry's excited voice crackles through, bursting with energy.
"Holy shit! Are you okay? That was the most badass thing I've ever seen in my life!"
"I'm fine," you mutter, wincing as Anika presses a bag of frozen peas against your bruised knuckles. "Ow! Except for my so-called best friend trying to give me frostbite."
Anika's tone is no-nonsense. "Keep the ice on, or your hand will swell up like a balloon."
Henry can barely contain his excitement. "You should have seen Marcus's face after you left. He was completely shaken. I don't think anyone's ever stood up to him like that before."
You groan, tilting your head back. "Great. Now I'll be known as the crazy chick who starts fights at parties. That'll look amazing on my resume."
"Are you kidding? You're going to be a legend!" Henry starts, then suddenly there's a scuffle in the background.
"Am I on speaker?" you ask, suspicion rising in your voice.
"No!" Henry says simultaneously with another voice declaring, "Yes!"
You recognize the second voice immediately. "Henry James Martinez," you say, using his full name—knowing how much he hates it—"Are you and Tony back together?"
"No!" Henry protests. "His place flooded, and he needed a place to stay!"
"Sure thing, Hef," you chuckle, catching Anika's amused smile.
Tony's cheerful voice joins the conversation. "Hey, heard you knocked some douche on his ass for talking shit about your girlfriend. Nicely done."
"She's not my girlfriend," you respond quickly.
Henry can't resist. "Define girlfriend."
You're ready with a comeback. "Define sharing a living space with—"
"Uh oh, bad connection," Henry interrupts, and suddenly the line goes dead. Anika bursts into laughter.
“I’m gonna get you some aspirin,” Anika offered, patting your shoulder as she passed. “But just so you know that whole ‘emotionally compromised’ thing? Yeah, that’s basically the definition of crushing.”
You make an incoherent noise of protest into the table. 
"Oh, and by the way," Anika calls from the kitchen, "you're totally teaching me that right hook tomorrow. After your hangover wears off, of course."
You lift your head just enough to deadpan at her. 
"Love you too, champ. Now take your aspirin and go to bed before you fall asleep on the table. Again."
Not long after she went to her room, you stumble into the bathroom, hand throbbing and head spinning—the former a reminder of the night’s events. The light is harsh against your alcohol-fogged brain. The tile floor is cold beneath your bare feet as you stumble to the sink, turning on the water and splashing your face.
When you look up, he's there.
Your Uncle's bloody corpse stands behind you in the reflection, that familiar crooked smile that's always been more predatory than comforting. His appearance is exactly as you remember from old photographs—that slightly manic glint in his eye, the way he holds himself like violence is always just beneath the surface.
"Killer punch," he says, leaning against the bathroom wall. No greeting, no preamble. Just direct observation.
You don't jump but roll your eyes. "Go away," you mutter, gripping the sink's edge.
He chuckles—a sound that's more bark than laugh. "I saw myself in you tonight. That rage? That precise moment of calculated violence? Pure genetics that chose you."
"I'm nothing like you," you snap, turning to face him directly. The bathroom suddenly feels smaller.
He takes a step closer. "Oh, but you are. That moment when you heard those guys talking about your girl? That split second before the punch? That wasn't just anger. That was hunting instinct."
You close your eyes, trying to block him out. "I'm not a killer. I'm not you."
"Not yet," he says, and there's something almost proud in his voice. "But you've got the potential. I saw how you moved. How you calculated. How you knew exactly where to hit to cause maximum impact."
"My dad’s a professional pig," you counter. "It’s not like I attended murder school."
His laugh is sharp, brittle. "Call it what you want. But we both know there's something inside you. Something sharp. Something waiting."
The argument feels familiar—like every nightmare, every family gathering where his memory haunted the edges of conversation, their fear of the parallels you both held. You're tired of it. Tired of him.
"I'm going to bed," you declare, pushing past his spectral form.
He doesn't disappear immediately. Instead, his voice follows you. "We're not so different, you and me."
You pause at the doorway, not turning around, as your hand tightly grips the edges of the doorframe. "We're nothing alike." 
The silence that follows is answer enough.
As you crawl back into bed, the room feels normal again—just another night, just another internal argument with a ghost who refuses to stay buried.
But somewhere in the darkness, you can still feel him watching. Waiting.
-----------
A/N:
gobble, gobble
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supergirl000983 · 9 months ago
Text
Random Outta Pocket moments on the Ranch.
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Y/N: *Falls off horse* Fuck…Ouch
Travis: You ok Darlin?
Beth: *Watching her sister walk funny up to the gate* What’s the matter with you?
Y/N: My Thong is Thonging a little too hard.
Travis: *Looking up at the sky questioning his wife choices* Dear God
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Y/N: *Falling on the couch between Travis and Beth* Damn what a week.
John: Sweetheart it’s 6:30 pm on a Monday
Y/N: *falling back into Travis* Jesus Christ Fuck me.
Travis: Not Jesus, but I can totally do that later tonight.
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Y/N: Your existence confuses me greatly.
Jimmy: How so?
Y/N: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of something bad happening to you is upsetting to me.
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John: Are yall sober?
Beth while holding up Y/N: We are moderately functional.
John: I'll take that as a no.
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Y/N: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dutton way. Which is the wrong way, but faster.
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Kayce - Travis, what did I say about PDA?
Travis: *with Y/n on his lap and in the middle of a make-out session* I don't know what you're talking about brother.
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Colby: I'm a real asset.
Ryan: You're only off by two letters.
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Teeter: Between Ryan, Jimmy, Colby, and Walker - if you had to, who would you punch?
Y/N: No one - they're my friends! I wouldn't punch any of them.
Lloyd: Walker?
Y/N: Yeah, but I don't know why.
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Kayce: Where's Jamie?
Beth: Somewhere disappointing Dad
Y/N: Somewhere disappointing God
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Y/N: "Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Teeter!"
Teeter: "You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight."
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Travis: Why is your back all scratched up?
Y/n : *flashbacks to messing with a chicken Travis told her not to mess with
Y/n: I'm having an affair
Travis: What?
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Kayce: I thought Beth told you to stay in bed
Y/n: She did, but there's a scary monster in my closet, soooo here I am
Rip: was the monster scarier than Beth when She's mad?
Y/n:...
Y/n: I'm going back to bed
Travis: good girl
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Kayce : I think your mom mixed up our lunches. Look.
holds up a post-it note that says "I'm proud of you and I love you so much."]
Tate: Oh, that explains this.
holds up a post-it note that says
"Please be good. For the love of God, be good. "]
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John: If you three can manage not to kill each other while I'm gone-
Y/N: Oh please...
Beth: *Fake smiles*
Jamie: We're not children.
John: ...*walks away*
Y/N: ...
Jamie: ...
Beth: …
Y/N: Fucking Cunt-Cakes
Beth: Eat shit and die.
Jamie: Yes, fuck you.
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Walker: You know, Travis, real talk bro, you never say nothin' when you're around us. Why is that?
Travis: Cause I don't fucking like you guys.
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John: Don't pull any of those stunts like you did last time.
Y/N: I made an offering.
John: You dropped a dead mouse into Summer’s lap.
Y/N: Yes! Like a cat.
John: You are not a cat!
Y/N: No... tragically, I am a woman.
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Sheriff : Think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Y/N: If you can ask them without the usual level of stupid.
Sheriff : Where's your Dad and why hasn't anyone been able to contact him?
Y/N: I dunno, l've been here, haven't seen him in days.
Sheriff : Is he drinking again?
Y/N: What do you mean again? He never had to stop.
Sheriff: But he did have to slow down, is he drinking like he used to?
Y/N: Alright, how bout this? Next time I see him, l'll give him the field sobriety test, okay? We'll do the alphabet, start with F & end with U.
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*Beth and Summer arguing*
Kayce: …
Monica: …
Rip: …
John: …
Y/N: l'ma instigate.
Travis: *pulling her back and putting his hand over her mouth* NO!
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Travis: *pissed off* Sometimes I can't stand you.
Y/N: *while walking away* Then kneel!And while you're down there, occupy your mouth.
Travis: I.....
Teeter: 000000....
Jimmy: I- I-... She has no fear. None. Absolutely no survival instinct, no self preservation. None!
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Travis: To apologize I’m getting you whatever flowers you want
Y/N: Fuck flowers buy me a horse.
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Kayce: Won't be gone long. Left everyone their own list of instructions while I ain't here.
Y/N: Mine just says "Y/N, no."
Rip: Apply it to everything
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Y/N: Why don't you ever take me outside in the middle of the night to look at the stars?
Travis: Cause I woke ya up at 4:30 once to hunt with me and ya said anything before 9am was costin' me my dick.
Y/N: Maybe I meant you'd get laid.
Travis: Ya had a knife, Y/N.
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Rip: What's wrong?
Travis: Food's hot. Can't eat it.
Y/N: I'm hot.
Travis:*looking exasperated* Don't.
Y/N: You still eat me.
Everyone at the table: *crickets chirping*
John: *beating his forehead on the table* Just-one-normal dinner. I just want one.
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Colby: The fuck's wrong with you?!
Teeter: *sipping her coffee* Wow, could you at least say good morning?
Colby: Good mornin. The fuck's wrong with you?!
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Lloyd: what's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Jake: disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Jimmy: smad.
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Y/N: I���m a person that likes to think things through.
Jamie: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.
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Beth: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Rip: Sure!
Rip: Whats your favorite color?
Beth: *laser fucking focused* Triangle. Do you love me?
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haechoxo · 6 months ago
Text
[8:12 pm]
“bro… why do you keep throwing parties? we’re not in a frat anymore…” mark side eyed johnny, who looked more crazy than excited.
“dude! are you kidding– i’m gonna be thirty! i have to party while i still have time, duh!” mark could only roll his eyes at his dramatics, turning to engage with renjun and jeno, who were already busy arguing over some game.
sighing, he turns his head, catching a glimpse of you at the snack table, as you turned to reach for a handful of chips, you bumped into someone, nearly spilling your drink. you looked up, surprised to see haechan standing there, looking equally startled.
“oh, sorry,” you said, stepping back.
“no, it’s my fault,” he replied, his voice tired and soft, barely audible over the music.
you both stood there for a moment, an awkward silence hanging between you. he looked like he hadn’t been taking care of himself—dark circles under his eyes, hair a bit messier than usual. he seemed thinner, almost sickly, and the sight of him tugged at your heartstrings despite everything.
“didn’t expect to see you here,” you finally said, breaking the silence.
“yeah, me neither,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “kinda got dragged out by the guys.”
you nodded, not sure what to say. the conversation felt dry, and you could tell he was struggling with it too.
“how’ve you been?” he asked, his eyes flicking away from yours, unable to hold your gaze.
“i’ve been... okay,” you replied, feeling the weight of the understatement. “just keeping busy with work and stuff.”
“that’s good,” he said, nodding absently. “keeping busy is good.”
another awkward silence fell between you, the noise of the party feeling distant and muted. he shuffled at his feet, looking like he wanted to say something more but couldn’t find the words.
“i saw you with yeonjun the other day,” he blurted out suddenly. “h-how’s that going?”
you blinked, caught off guard by the question. “oh, that…we– it’s good.” you already stopped seeing yeonjun.
“that’s good,” he said, his voice tinged with something you couldn’t quite place. “you deserve it… good things, i mean– to be happy.”
“thanks,” you said softly, not quite knowing how to respond. you both stood there in awkward silence, the noise of the party feeling distant and muted.
he looked down at the floor, swaying awkwardly, his expression conflicted. “i... uh, i’ve been doing a lot of thinking... about everything. i know i uhm–” he swallows thickly, “messed up, i–i didn’t handle things well.”
“no, you didn’t,” you agreed, your tone blunt. you didn’t want to sugarcoat it for him.
he winced at your honesty but nodded. “yeah, i deserve that.”
he looked like he wanted to say more, his mouth opening and closing a few times, wanting to say more—apologize, explain, anything—but the words tangled in his throat, nothing coming out. the frustration and regret in his eyes were clear, but he seemed so unable to articulate them. his heart raced as he felt the weight of your eyes on him, searching for something he couldn’t give.
“i should… um, i have to go,” he mumbled, turning on his heel before he could change his mind.
“hyuck-” you started, but he was already retreating, leaving you alone once again.
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previous - next
a/n ; the grovel is near.. i can feel it,, apologies for short chapter again, hope u enjoy, advice is appreciated! xoxo jelly
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blockedbykei · 6 months ago
Note
Emergency request!!
can u please do tuskki with his extraverted and bubbly gf having a tough time then becoming noticeably quite and starts to push people away? Like its hard for her to open up and talk about it yk
Btw I absolutely loveeeee ur writing!! have a great daay/night ^^
thank u for this request i needed to refresh my mind 🙏
— timeskip!tsukishima
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at first he thought that maybe he wasn't being as attentive as he used to be.
the walk to campus was quiet. it lacked your usual quips and awes at the random things you both saw on the sidewalks and on the stores. you only walked beside him, hand in hand, looking down at the ridges of the ground.
he hadn't noticed because he was too busy refreshing his mind for his upcoming quiz.
tsukishima starts to notice when you'd both eaten lunch at a store nearby and you weren't as happy as you were when you ate spam musubi. you chewed quietly, answered his questions with small hums. it concerned him a little, but he was the person to enjoy the silence when it was given to him.
then it worried him when you went home before he did, and he hadn't gotten a single kiss from you the second he steps inside. you acknowledge his "i'm home" with a "hello" from your shared bedroom.
so now there he is, leaning against the doorframe of the room, hands crossed, socked feet placed on the cold wooden floor. you lay on the bed and face the wall, hunched back facing him.
tsukishima frowns.
"oi," he calls, beginning his journey towards you.
you feel the bed dip at his weight being planted on the mattress, his hand coming up to shake you lightly on your shoulder. you groan, curling further towards the wall.
"(y/n)," he says, stern but also soft. his usual tone. "what's wrong?"
"nothing," your nose was stuffy, a sniffle making his eyebrows raise. "i'm just sleepy."
"at four pm?" tsukishima queries in disbelief. at this time, you were usually bubbly— hyper, planning the places you were going to spend the remaining day in, or encouraging him to join you fill your time. and as much as he playfully detests the thought of doing something rather than laying down, now he kind of wants to do the same thing. "babe, don't lie to me."
you say nothing.
he sighs, kicking his feet off the ground and laying down beside you, scooting closer to pull you into his chest when his arms wiggle beneath your body and the other scooching underneath your arm to hug you. tsukishima cranes his neck and nuzzles his nose at the back of your neck, inhaling.
"baby," he straightens his neck, placing his chin on top of your head, his hand under your arm rubbing your belly. "you don't have to lie to me."
your breath unevens, he feels it at the way your stomach rises.
"face me?"
his plea was enough to make you turn around in his grasp and face him, tired eyes blinking the dread that hangs on your eyelashes.
an uncanny sight— the usual joy in the glimmer of your eyes dullefied by the melancholic aura you release. at this, tsukishima's tone of nuisance has decided to drop and replace it with a dulcet voice that he had only reserved for you.
"what's wrong, hm?" his hand pushes your hair behind your ear, cupping your face gently.
"'m tired."
"i know that. you told me that earlier."
"in general, kei," you whine softly. "the projects keep stacking up over one another and i've got groups to lead and i've got proposals to meet and presentations to do and–"
you stop, the dam beginning to break at your waterline. tsukishima plants his lips in the middle of your eyebrows.
"go on, it's okay."
you sigh deeply, nuzzling your face on his neck. "and it pressures me so much that i don't know what to do."
tsukishima pulls you closer. you hear his heartbeat, soft– steady and calm, often fast at certain times, but it was always so calm around you. his scent wraps you in comfort, your hands wandering beneath his shirt to seek warmth in his skin.
"it's okay to not know what to do," he says softly. "you don't have to pressure yourself to know what to do immediately. take your time, don't push yourself to the extent of breaking."
"but you know what to do immediately."
"i don't," he traces figures at your back, shapes, you think. "i observe before i think. whether i do it within seconds or in minutes. it depends on the situation, really. but you've got to go easy on yourself,"
tsukishima pulls your face away from his chest. he leans closer, the tip of his nose rubbing yours, his eyes resting on yours.
"and i'm here. you don't have to do this alone," he kisses your nose. "don't be an idiot and ask me for help."
you laugh lightly, reaching up to place your lips on his.
they'd always been soft and sweet, a bright contrast to his usual demeanor. tsukishima hums and pulls you closer, his mouth opening the slightest to kiss you deeper and breathe your air. it was comfort, safe, home.
and he kisses you like he means it, in a way that he wants to protect you. in a way that shows you that he's here and he's not leaving you. his mouth moves against yours languidly, the soft clicks of your dampened lips and your eyelashes tickling his cheeks.
tsukishima breaks away only to leave another quick peck on your lips. he whispers, "i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere."
you believe him wholeheartedly.
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