#plz don't look too close

[caramelpeppers]

"good night" / "good morning"

[no-144444]

Admin looking for love! - c.sainz

Day 17 of fic-tober! fic-tober masterlist

summary: Why did Alex Albon feel the need to post you on his story as a ‘lonely woman looking for love’? And why did Carlos Sainz dm you after it? 

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alexalbon

liked by carlossainz, williamsracing, reallyy/n, and 2,398,234 others

alexalbon: Are you a Monaco man looking for love? Look no further! Presenting Y/n Y/l/n, a lonely woman looking for love! She's a williams marketing manager (and also my assistant sometimes!), she drives a motorbike, and she's super mean but sometimes really nice! (Real enquiries only, don't be a creep please :) @/really/n

user63: I know Y/n is LIVID rn.

reallyy/n: alex albon, I will kill you with my bare hands don't pull this shit with me right now.

lilymhe: DOG HOUSE -> alexablon: COME ON I'M TRYING TO HELP HER -> reallyy/n: Alex start running. -> alexalbon: you're literally in england right now -> reallyy/n: boarding my plane to monaco. -> alexalbon: FUCK.

oscarpiastri: when do we get you back to the psych ward @/alexalbon ? -> landonorris: Don't make fun of your elders, at least let him leave instagram with a little bit of dignity.

georgerussell: Mate, take it down already she's going to hurt you -> alexalbon: I don't know how, she usually does my social media :(

zhouguanyo: awful choice, I posted her once and she took away all internet devices and made me think about what I'd done for 4 hours (aka staring at a wall for 4 hours). -> alexalbon: YIKES Y/N I'M SORRY PLZ

user46: she's so pretty

user97: QUEEN Y/N

user56: thank you alex for these CRUMBS of y/n please make her get on the podium if williams stops fucking around

user267: SHE'S GORGEOUS WTF liked by carlos sainz

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f1gossip

liked by pierregasly, and 567,038 others

f1gossip: Williams CMO (chief marketing officer) Y/n Y/l/n was auctioned off today by none other than Alex Albon. In an instagram post he said: Are you a Monaco man looking for love? Look no further! Presenting Y/n Y/l/n, a lonely woman looking for love! She's a williams marketing manager, she drives a motorbike, and she's super mean but sometimes really nice! (Real enquiries only, don't be a creep please :)

user47: why is she so gorgeous she looks like a fucking WAG liked by carlossainz

user88: Is that not alex's WAG? ->user67: no she just works for williams and they're close.

user99: HOW IS SHE SO PRETTY WHAT

user75: she's such a queen

user33: If i had a face like that I'd be a model! -> user22: RIGHT? LIKE SHE'S SOOOO GORG

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You knocked on Alex's door with as much force as you could. Why the fuck would he post that? It was all over the internet- you were all over the internet. Every F1 gossip page was shipping you with some random driver, or some random f1-adjacent celebrity. You were livid, and rightfully so. He had no reason to do anything like this, to pull a stunt like that. Honestly, you could just kill him-

"Hello?" Alex grimaced as he stared at you. He knew all hell was about to break loose.

"Alexander Phillipe Albon Ansusinha," you spoke calmly, too calmly. His stomach turned. "Give me your phone."

he handed it over, no question, no hassle.

You quickly deleted the post, deleted instagram, then turned his phone off completely. From inside your bag, you handed him a nokia flip phone. "It already has everyones numbers on it. Don't fucking try to buy a new one, or else I'll freeze all of your cards. Understand?"

He nodded, accepting his fate. "Understand."

"Don't ever pull some shit like that again, alright?" you scolded.

He nodded, his head down. "I got some responses..." he mumbled after a few seconds of silence.

"Alex-!" you were completely prepared to fully scream at him, but suddenly the door behind you swung open and revealed Carlos Sainz. He looked dumbfounded by the two of you and went red. "I'm sending you for 4 weeks worth of mandatory PR training," you turned back to Alex. "I'm so sick of your shit. Between this and Franco's inability to keep it in his pants, I'll be backlogged till Christmas. Just stop causing trouble, ok?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Ok."

You turned back to Carlos. "Sorry about the noise."

He shook his head. "No, that's alright."

"Did you need something?" Alex asked.

Carlos shook his head, his eyes trained on you.

You. He'd seen you around the paddock for years. He'd watched you from afar, unaware of his growing feelings for you until they sucker-punched him in the face about 4 months ago when he was visiting the williams HQ to finish up the contract signing, and there you were in that gorgeous black dress. He couldn't even talk to you. It was embarrassing.

"Alright, well, goodbye Alex, bye Carlos," you smiled at the both of them (the smile Alex got was a bit more disingenuous than the one you gave Carlos) and off you went.

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He knew he had to do something before someone else swooped in. He knocked on Alex's door, more nervous than he thought he'd be.

"Hey Carlos-" Alex smiled.

"Is Y/n single?"

Alex smirked. "She is, yeah."

"May I have her number?"

"Yes Carlos," Alex has the smuggest smirk he'd ever seen. "Yes you may."

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It had been quite the day. You'd been catching up with friends when Carlos fucking Sainz texted you, and then you were on your way to a date with him.

What a fucking day.

You finished up you makeup just as the doorbell rang, and you smiled when you opened it. There he was, standing there with a big bunch of flowers and a goofy smile.

"Hi," you smiled. "Come in."

"Hi," he smiled back. "I got these for you."

He handed over the flowers and you grinned at him. "Thank you, that was very thoughtful."

"Pretty girls deserve pretty flowers," he shrugged.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, and you absented yourself to put the flowers in water.

"So, what do you like to do?" He asked, coming up behind you.

"I like films, I like to ride my bike, I like reading, I like motorsport, I like a lot of things. You?"

"Well, I love motorsports, obviously, and I love golf as well," he smirked at the way you grimaced. "Not a golf fan?"

"It's just a little bit boring for me," you admitted. "I do play tennis and padel though. And I played volleyball back when I was in college."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to make you like golf," he smirked.

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reallyy/n

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz, alexalbon and 798,374 others

reallyy/n: alex albon-> part time f1 driver, full time matchmaker apparently. happy 6 months @/carlossainz (still hate golf btw)

limited comments.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

fic-tober masterlist

taglist: @anotherapollokid @theseerbetweenus @simbaaas-stuff @5sospenguinqueen @yootvi

[pretty-little-mind33]

FEM!READER PULLING HIS TIE!

(ft. aaron taylor johnson characters)

ask: The boys u currently take requests for and their reactions to reader pulling them close by their tie plz plz plz I'll worship you forever🙏🙏🙏

warnings: implied explicit themes

includes - in said order

~ James Potter - harry potter marauders era (yes ik it's technically a fancast but he's my baby)

~ Tangerine - bullet train

~ Dave Lizewski - kick-ass

~ Count Alexei Vronksy - anna karenina 2012

~ Tom Ryder - the fall guy

~ Pietro Maximoff - avengers: age of ultron

~ worship me forever you say? 😏 ~

• James and his parents host plenty of fancy parties at the Potter mansion. They're always fun but formal, which means, obviously, James is wearing a suit and a tie.

• As his girlfriend, he insists that your dress matches his tie. He's very very serious when he says it. Like, dead serious. He'll pout if you don't and you find it slightly annoying, if not endearing.

• During the party, you'll mingle with your friends and have a blast. You and James don't have to stay connected at the hip, but he'll always check in on you.

• You'll have a few drinks, being slightly tipsy. James is as tipsy and he'll make a joke as you stumble towards each other, your hand fiddling with his tie.

• "You look like someone hit you with a bludger," James will giggle, his words slurred.

• You'll smirk and your hand tightens around his tie, yanking him down to your height, pressing your lips onto his and savoring his taste. He tastes like the expensive cherry wine his Mum adores.

• Obviously, this turns James on and he has to control himself from ravaging you in the middle of the dance floor because that isn't very gentlemanly of him.

• Tangerine always wears his suit out. He has an assortment of suits, mostly in different shades of blue (to match his eyes but he'll never admit to that.)

• You love his suits because you find them sexy. He knows you love them so he feels ever sexier.

• "Stop starin' at me like that," he'll joke, glaring as he walks by you.

• He loves when you stare.

• Often, you'll use his tie to pull him places whenever you want him to follow you. The small gesture of dominance turning him on so badly. Tangerine is usually the one in control, but not this time 😉

• Tangerine will happily follow you like a puppy, being lead by his tie and Lemon makes fun of him, which only earns him a middle finger from his brother.

• Pull him in by his tie and kiss him? He's head over heels, he's a goner

• 100% secretly likes when you're in charge (you know this)

• "You like when I pull you around, huh?"

• He'll nod. You make him a mess and he can't bring himself to care.

• Dave only wears a suit and a tie on special occasions and so because it's rare to see him in formal attire, when you do it does always make it extra special.

• You can't keep your hands off him and he's obsessed.

• "Mm, you look so pretty, Davey," you'll whisper in his ear, your fingers gliding over smooth the material of his tie (you'd helped him tie it)

• Dave's cheeks will burn a bright pink and you'll stroke some of his dark curls behind his ear, touching where his ears have turned pink too as your smile widens. You love making him flustered!

• If you're at a school dance, you'll be attached to his hip the entire time.

• It's your fourth dance and just as the evening dies down and it's his turn to press a kiss to your cheek, missing your lips by a little.

• You'll smirk and use his tie to guide his head so he doesn't miss your lips this time. The kiss surprises him as he blushes from embarrassment and also his overwhelming love for you.

• Does Alexei wear ties or bow ties?!

• Well either way, there is always something to grab onto (😏) and because your favorite thing to do is help him dress before a night out, adjusting his cuffs and collar for example, you use it to your advantage.

• "Why do you have a cheeky look on your face, dove?" He'll ask, his blue eyes narrowing as his gaze then flickers to the mirror behind him to check his appearance.

• "No reason, my love," you whisper.

• There is a reason.

• Once you finish, you smile up at him and pull him closer, your hand wrapped around the fabric, as you kiss his lips passionately.

• When you pull away, his cheeks are flushed and he can barely form words. His hands slide down your waist and tighten.

• "Do it again, please," Alexei will whisper in your ear.

• Tom is a cocky asshole. He prides himself on always being on top. But you being his girlfriend, it comes with certain perks.

• You have him wrapped around your finger as you push him against his trailer, kissing him roughly. Tom is loving the attention as he makes snarky comments between kisses.

• You grab his tie, the one he's wearing for his costume, and pull harshly. You bite on his lip, causing a yelp from him and a faint blush to grace his features.

• "Shit," Tom groans, his eyes wide.

• You'll pull away and tighten your hand around his tie. "You like that?"

• Tom nods and pulls you in for another kiss.

• Pietro is always bouncing around, so to get him to stay still is a pretty hard task.

• You're at an Avengers party when you see him fidgeting with this tie in the corner, either anxious to leave or anxious to be here. You feel for him.

• So, you walk over and stand directly in front of him. "Are you okay, Pietro?" you ask kindly, watching him fiddle with the tie. It‘a quite badly done.

• You smile and pull his hand away gently. Pietro startles, his cheeks turning pink as he feels embarrassed. "Papa n-never taught me," he says, sounding shyer than you've ever seen him.

• "It's okay. I can do it for you," you hum and tie his tie correctly. "Why didn't you ask Clint?"

• Pietro would shrug, looking away. "I was embarrassed," he admits, looking even more embarrassed.

• He looks at you, his heart beat pounding so hard. Yours does the same, your fingers curling in his tie as you slowly pull him in. Your lips hover above his for a moment, hesitating.

• Pietro is the one who kisses you, finding his cheeky charm again as the embarrassment from the situation fades.

• "How long you been wanting to do that?" he teases.

• You roll your eyes at him, swatting his arm.

[reshinless]

──── nun' more than ten percent off!!

ᯓ★ ── . summ. money runs the world, and you just ran out. coincidentally, so did your very hot childhood best friend/bf (might change depending on which chara) :3!! (you both becum prnstarz!!)

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ director's note. i don't think i can continue to do kinktober dear disciples sigh, i might do this with hsr characters as well :D!! STOP SPAM LIKING PLZ :PRAY:

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ pairings. xiao, alhaitham, kinich, x fem!reader

ᯓ★ ── . warnings. nsfw, fem terms used, vaginal sex(?), ww

when xiao starts to run low on money and feels too damn guilty enough to ask zhongli for money again (he's in debt by $890 already lol) . . when you bring up the idea since you need it for rent . . doesn't sound so bad.

even for your side of things; you definitely didn't mind getting dicked down by him. and if he was going to be real with himself, you were fine as fuck. hearing that 'he was the only one you could do this with'? he could've just pulled out his phone and fuck you right then and there.

but he isn't as bold as you think. simply blushing at the thought and nodding along. man his pants were starting to get a little tight, don't ya think?

you suggested probably observing a few videos just for reference but his mind was all he needed (he just said "let's just wing it.")

people who had seen and watched your content together commented on how easy it was for him to let you cream on his cock. fuck he felt tired, it felt like hours of videos for now, but seeing how your eyes rolled back as your cunt slid all the way down onto the very base of his shaft- he gained all his energy back.

"fffuck- ngh x- xiao!" oh please keep saying his name like that, his face hid in the crook of your neck, in the umpteenth video you both agreed on recording only showed off your pretty body, and his arms holding your hips down. the camera caught a glimpse of the tattoos that ran around and down his shoulders, and arms.

people commented on how those tattoos probably went all over his body, how you'd probably be stuck looking at his eyes (you both wore masks/have your faces blurred or cut out), or how the arms on your hips that pistoned them onto his cock when you get tired would either have a deadly grip or the gentlest.

whatever would pay you your college debt, or get him food on the table. it was working.

alhaitham who wouldn't usually hook up twice- especially when he was low on money himself. he'd never sell himself. oh, but he'd do anything to get a taste of your pretty pussy again.

"uhuh? ffuck, you really want this dick don't you? such a spoiled little princess . . " he watched you bounce on his cock, plop plop plop!!

his arms locked onto the soft plush of your thighs. "ahh- sshit, haah 'm gonna.." you whine, the blissful sounds of your voice only made him harder, big strong arms held you around your waist, helping you straddle him. "don't be tired now, sweetheart." a smirk grows along his cheeks. his voice almost a purr.

'just roommates' they said, but when dire situations come down to desperate solutions.. money runs the world, and you both simply just have to abide by it.

comments on your posts with him have noticed the repetitive collabs. In fact, he was the only man who had ever appeared in your videos. You had always refused any other creators who wanted to collaborate because—well, your roommate was pretty willing.

you both hooked up once at a party. then found out you were roommates. he wouldn't say he was mad each time you brought another guy over though. he was livid.

snarky remarks, and a hefty tongue—he never held back from insulting the guy, or your taste. a scoff releases from his lips. "when will you find a real man?"

and who knows what he meant by a real man, cuz you know what you were on right now was a real cock.

your fans love it when haitham pins you against the wall, hands holding you in place, acting as a cushion between him you and the wall.

the way he pistoned his hips, and veiny hands held your ass close to his so he could thrust inside you faster.

you raised enough money to rid of your debt, and enough to keep alhaitham quiet about it (even w/o the money he would, just took money whenever he had projects due), but he didn't wanna stop the content just yet.

kinich who immediately agreed. your most popular videos were always whenever his face buried itself into your thighs. a perfect view of how you grinded your clit against his nose, and his tongue working as deep as it could inside your entrance.

or when he blindfolds, and fucks you from behind. each time he finished cumming inside your hole again, kinich who gave a ninetieth floor view of your pussy, left almost throbbing, and aching for him to thrust into you again!

he loved to tease when it came to eating you out. "uhuh? that's gooooood, taking me s'well baby.. such a good girl.."

people had commented on how sexy his voice sounded, probably what got you wet in the first place.

[jellicatty]

‧˚꒰ TRAFALGAR LAW FALLING IN LOVE ₊

╰┈➤ contains : trafalgar law x gender neutral reader. fluff. sfw. 908 words.

╰┈➤ note : he may be a bit ooc here huhu plz forgive me ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

— "You're interesting Y/N- ya"

• There’s only one thing you need in order to impress and catch the attention of Trafalgar Law: be smart. Body shape, body count, and looks do not matter to him. With intelligence alone, it’s easy to capture this man’s eyes.

• Once he’s attracted to you, expect to be showered with teasing remarks. Of course, not too many, just enough to make you flustered for the rest of the day. However, this does not mean he wants to be your significant other. Remember, this is Trafalgar Law we’re talking about. He wants to be sure if this is a feeling he wants to pursue.

• He knows the dangers of the New World and losing someone close all too well. So, I’m guessing he will never make a move (unless provoked by a near-death experience). Only stares from afar, small jokes here and there, and maybe some light touches too. It would be the end for him if you knew he was somehow attracted to you.

• You probably have to be friends before the whole ordeal happens. I can’t see Law falling in love at first sight or immediately after a few days. There has to be some deep trust and chemistry running between you.

— "This can’t be real."

• After some time, if his crush on you still hasn’t gone away, then he might consider thinking about it. Hard. Because there’s no way he, Trafalgar Law, could catch feelings for someone. He knew the day would come when he would eventually find someone and harbor feelings. But he didn’t expect it to be you, someone already dear to him.

• Well, he’s glad it was you. Since Law is a terrifying ex-warlord, supernova pirate, it would be extremely hard for him to have feelings for a civilian. Heck, he wouldn't even let himself, nor his crew, get close enough to a random person. It’s too risky.

• So he has feelings for you. Now what? He would be in full denial mode. He will deny it and will push you away. He’s angry and afraid of the connection blossoming between you two. Having lost so many people, from his own family and country to Corazon, his acknowledgment of his feelings would take a while. If he does stop pretending to be blind to his own emotions, a confession from him will be very unlikely. He’s taking this to his grave and no one can possibly know about it.

• His crew knows. Specifically, Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin. Bepo would for sure know about it first, then tell the other two about his assumption. Shachi and Penguin would quickly agree and start planning.

"Operation: get Law some game!"

• Law would be so annoyed if they knew because, first of all, only he has to know it. Second, what happens if you knew, huh? That aside, his advances towards you would be so awkward and… peculiar.

• Shachi and Penguin probably saw "Medical pick-up lines for your babe!" and gave it to Law.

• "Erythema is red. Cyanosis is blue. I get apneic when I see you!"

• Oh Law, please don't let them bring out the medical pick-up lines. He would handle the flirting himself but damn, why is it so hard now that he likes you? His smoothness is still there, but eye contact and your smile can easily break his cool.

• Speaking of your smile, Law is enchanted by it! Not only that, but by your eyes too. It doesn’t matter if the color is dark brown or blue, as long as he feels the sincerity and affection behind it, he would be head over heels. Imagine, Law getting flustered at your pretty eyes fluttering (*≧ω≦)

• He would be so soft for you and don’t take advantage of it. Just bring out your best puppy eyes and he will do anything for you (but you will hear a quiet grumble). His weakness is cute things, and if you’re someone with a face leaning on the cutesy side, then congratulations! You have Trafalgar Law wrapped around your finger. Joking, but it would really be such an advantage if you’re cute.

• Plus, he’s overprotective of you. Really, really protective. His possessiveness and protectiveness show whenever you’re in danger. Law would definitely not put you on the front lines when a battle happens. This is for your own safety, and he doesn't care if you hate him for it. He trusts your abilities, but there are enemies out of your league, especially in the New World.

• You nearly dying can push him to suddenly blurt out his feelings. It would be really random and subtle; you won’t even realize it at first. Him too, he would do it unintentionally since his emotions controlled his mouth.

• There are other ways he can confess; he would much prefer it if it was spontaneous though because thinking too much about it makes him nervous. However, he still plans ahead of time what to say to you. It wouldn’t be extravagant. Maybe a few simple words then he’s out. But...

— Words can’t describe what he’s feeling.

• No amount of words can truly convey the overwhelming emotion drowning his torn heart. He takes Y/N's hand in his and slowly moves it to where his heart resides. His heartbeat quickens with each passing second, his breath picking up pace while his eyes search theirs for the familiar beauty that entices him.

— "All of this… it’s because of you."

© jellicatty | no plagiarising please (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

[writingroom21]

Hey boo boo bear imagine this kook rafe x shy pouge reader get stuck in a room together…… they have sex. I don't know how to plot this😭

Rafe only tolerates reader in his sister group since reader is shy and quiet and because she's a good baker and cooker since he eats the food reader makes for Sarah (the reader doesn't know obviously)❤️❤️❤️ plz make it super smutty

Escape Room

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f receiving), spanking, spitting, use of belt, unprotected sex (wrap it up y'all), choking, (let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 2.9K

A/N: This was just a great idea and I literally loved writing it.

“He said he would be there in fifteen minutes to pick up the brownies. Thank you again so much.” Sarah rushes out her words feeling bad that Rafe was already late. “It’s okay not like my job is super demanding anyway. I just sit here and watch the cameras. Plus it’s slow and no one has reservations.” Working at an escape room has its perks. You get to sit back and relax, watching as people try to figure out the puzzles. 

“Okay. Again I’m so sorry he’s late. Let me know if he was a dick after he leaves.” Sarah says before hanging up the call. Rafe was supposed to be here two hours ago and he is still not here. Sarah had asked you to make her brownies from the pool party she was having when she invited you. Sadly you had work but still had agreed to make them.

You’ve been making desserts and dinners for her since middle school. It started when you made some pasta dishes with your mom. You had brought some extra to school the next day and she had tried it at lunch. She fell in love with it and promised you to always save her extra when you cook. Even when you too went to different High schools she didn’t let that stop her.

She would ride her bike to your house all the way in the cut after school to try some new dishes. It was a little routine the two of you enjoyed. Then you started to make extra of every dish and dessert to bring to Tanny Hill. Everyone in the house loved your cooking and baking. Even the eldest Cameron sibling couldn’t find himself to hate it. No matter how hard his brain told him not to eat your dirt pogue food he still does.

He guesses over time his disdain for pogues dissipated only for you. He found himself excited to try a new dish or eat your famous cookies when Sarah brought them home. When Sarah had asked him to pick up at first he was really willing to get them. Accepting the chance to get close to you without having her around. Then he realized he would actually have to be around you without a buffer.

Rafe decided that the longer he waits to pick up the brownies then maybe the less time you have to take to him. That’s why he told Sarah he would be there in fifteen all while he was still on the course playing golf with Topper and Kelce. 

Another forty minutes pass and he is still not here. The last group of people leave the alien invasion room. Sighing you get up and start to clean up the room. This is the one downside of everything, you have to clean the whole things up. Resetting every clue is a hassle in itself, not to mention people make messes on purpose. You were so busy trying to put one of the clues together that you didn’t hear someone calling out for you.

Rafe walks around calling out your name to find you. “Where are you? I just need the brownies and then I’ll be gone.” He sees one of the doors open and a figure lurking around. Getting closer he can see that it’s you so he walks into the doorway. “Hey! Can I get them now?” You turn around to see Rafe, clutching your chest at the scare that he gave you.

He goes to walk further into the room and bumps into the door holder making it fly out of place. “Don’t let the-” The door slams shut due to the weight of it, it’s slam echoing in the room. “Door close.” Rafe turns around to open it. “God, it's not a huge deal.” The door handle shakes but it doesn’t budge.

“Why isn’t it opening?” There’s a twinge of irritation in his voice. Whipping around to look at you he finds you sitting down on one of the seats. Like clock work the automatic voice booms through the speakers. 

“Welcome brave fighters. The Aliens have attacked and you are our only hope of fighting them. In exactly one hour they will take over the world and destroy it. This bunker contains the key to saving the world. Find it before time runs out or we are all doomed. Good luck.”

Just like that the clock above the door turns on and the seconds start to count down. “What the fuck is happening?” Rafe is rattling the door trying to pry it off the hinges. “It’s an automatic system. Once the door closes the game starts and you can’t get out.” You are willing to let the time run out already texting your boss to tell them you got locked in a room.

This wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. At least those times weren’t you and there was someone else to open the door. It’s just your luck that today of all days you are the only one working. Your boss texts you back without being any help.

Well I’m on vacation right now. I’ll text the group chat to see who can come get you out. You might just have to solve it or wait it out.

“Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?” You laugh at him and go over to the first clue, solving it and getting the key out of the box. “It’s an escape room dumbass. It’s kinda the whole point. Plus everyone here knows not to close the door, that’s why the block was there.” Rafe closes his eyes as he realizes the thing his foot accidently hit was the only thing holding the door back.

“I didn’t know sorry.” Your back is turned to you as you are finding the keyhole on the table that opens it. Rafe watches in awe as the table top clicks open and you lock it into place. Sarah has always said that they should all come here to try one out and he brushed it off when they actually made plans. He thought these types of things were stupid but now that he��s seeing you do it just makes him think it’s him who's stupid. 

There would be no way that he would figure any of this out. He knows that you know how to do all of the clues due to having to set them up. But damn how would anyone be able to figure that out? Walking closer he can see that the table opens up into a map of the world and each country is out of order. You just set each one perfectly in place and a trap door opens on the far side of the wall.

“Didn’t realize you were so smart for a pogue?” You roll your eyes at him and push past him to go to the other room. “How long will it take you to figure this all out? I don’t have all day.” It is funny that he would say that considering he made you wait on him for most of the day. “That’s rich coming from you.” You get into the room and look at the fake control panel that’s in it. This is the one part of this room you take forever to fix. 

You can’t remember which switches control which thing. They all work in some way but only four of them cause the map to light up for the next clue. “What upset that I have a life and you don’t? I had shit to do, you aren’t important.” The laugh you let out is like you are mocking him and he hates it. “I could give two shits that you were late. Wouldn’t expect anything less from you. All you care about is yourself.”

“That’s not true.” If he thought that other laugh was annoying this one makes his blood boil. “You are literally the most selfish person I know. You’re rude, arrogant, and honestly a disgusting person. I would rather be stuck in a room with a million spiders then feel you breathing down my neck.” You didn’t realize how close you had gotten to him. All up close and personal to him. 

“I’m literally trying to figure all of this out so we can get out of her and you didn't even offer to help. All you can do is sit there on you ass like a fucking child.” Rafe’s anger gets the best of him and he wraps a hand around your neck. “Careful there. Don’t get on my bad side. You’re lucky I even tolerate you.” His fingers tighten a little bit, the blood flow slowing slightly. “If this is you tolerating me then maybe you should get fucking checked. There is obviously something wrong with you.”

The room gets quiet and all that can be heard is his heavy breathing. His chest is brushing against yours with each breath. Your eyes flicker back and forth looking into the blue eyes you’ve known for years. Without a second thought his lips are crashing onto yours. You meet his enthusiasm, kiss him just as hard. 

His other hand wraps around your hair tugging it to manipulate your head to deepen the kiss. Walking backwards you bump into the counsel, buttons digging into you as he lifts you to sit on it. “So much tough talk and look at you now.” The way he looks at you is belittling as if you aren’t a real person.

“Do you always have to be so annoying?” He smiles at you and dives back in to kiss you. Hands roam your body and squeeze the flesh under his palms. The kiss gets more intense as he nips at your lips. You let out a wince pulling back. Lifting a hand to touch your lip and feel the warmth seeping from the cut. “Are you serious?” Rafe smiles all cocky at you, feeling good that you were in pain. 

The smirk didn’t last because you delivered a smack across his face. He slowly turns his head back, shocked by the action. “Oh you’re going to regret that.” He kisses you again, ignoring your wince of pain and biting your lip even harder. The hands roaming your body move in between the two of you so he can unbutton your pants. Your fingers dig into his shoulder as you lift yourself up, helping him take your pants off.

His right thumb starts to stroke you over your panties, feeling how wet you are. “Look at how wet you are. Shy little girl who’s actually just a slut in disguise.” You moan at the words and the feeling of his thumb rubbing you just right. The fabric makes it feel even better. Your hands reach towards his belt and unbuckles it. His pants and boxers are shoved down his legs.

“Can you just shut up and fuck me already. Starting to think that you keep talking just to stall.” Your hand wraps around his dick and starts stroking. The tilt of your head does him in. He grabs your face and pinches your cheeks together. “Don’t worry baby, just giving you some more time with your thoughts before I scramble them.” Without warning he pushes your panties to the side and thrusts into you.

The moan you let out is like a taste of heaven. The sweetest sound that he’s ever heard. His pace is brutal, not giving you any time to adjust to his size. In his head he’s thought about this before. This exact moment has played out in different ways in his dreams. In those he takes his time with you, stretching you out with his fingers and eating you out until his face is covered in you. That was always a part of his vision yet here he is skipping all of it.

It’s like there is something about you that clouds his thoughts and sense of morality. He can’t seem to keep his cool around you or to stop himself from being him. His grip on your cheeks get tighter, his hips snapping into you. He keeps watching your face as your eyes roll back.

If he wasn’t holding your face then you would have fallen backwards. As if he heard your thoughts he pushes you backwards, your back hurts from the keys. You know that tomorrow there will be marks left from them. His other arm wraps around your back lifting your hips in the air. From this angle he’s hitting deeper and getting your g-spot in the best way.

He’s holding you in a position to give himself the best form of pleasure and yet you are getting it too. At first he really didn’t care if you enjoyed it, only wanting to teach you a lesson. That mindset faded away just by looking at you. This was better than what he had imagined and he couldn’t be happier. He lifts you back up and pulls out, flipping you to lay over the counsel.

Lights flicker as some buttons are pushed from your hands slamming down to catch yourself. Rafe kneels down behind you and attaches his lips to your clit. Your head drops down to rest on your forearm. “Oh fuck that feels good.” Rafe hums at the taste of you, shaking his head slightly side to side. He stays there for a few minutes bringing you to the very edge of your orgasm before stopping.

Pulling back his hands play with your ass, his eyes catching the glint from his belt buckle. An idea pops into his head. Picking up the belt he folds it in half, dragging it up your leg as he stands up. “What are you doing?” You turn your head to look at him and see him smirking down at you. Without saying anything to you he lifts up the belt and smacks your ass with it. You let out a yelp from the stinging sensation.

He does it once again, your yelps morphing into moans. The pain is dull or maybe you are just too focused on the way he’s kissing up your spine. His other hand grips  himself, lining his dick back up to your entrance. Teeth dig into the side of your neck as he sinks into your soaked pussy. Your eyes pinch shut, mouth wide open as he keeps thrusting in.

You are enveloped in pleasure, so much so that all of your senses seem to disappear. Your ears are ringing, eyes watering from pleasure, all you can feel is him all around you and something cool around your neck. Opening your eyes was like a wake up call. You can feel the smooth leather moving around your skin as he loops it through the buckle. Lifting a hand to touch your neck confirms it all. 

He put the belt around your neck.

Rafe wraps his hand with the excess leather, keeping a tight grip on it. He yanks a little on it to tighten it. Not enough to fully choke you but enough to make it pleasurable. He gives it another tug when he realizes you like it, causing your back to arch. Your head is practically touching his shoulder now. He moves a hand up your body to grab your face, turning it to look at him.

Once your eyes are staring back at it he speaks. “Open your mouth.” You don’t know why he even told you anything, he used his grip to pry it open anyway. Rafe spits into your open mouth, kissing you immediately after. His thrusts are increasing in pace, slamming into your hips. The familiar feeling of your orgasm washes over you, making your body convulse. Your moans are loud, tearing through your throat.

Rafe helps you through your orgasm before pulling out and stroking himself, cumming all over your ass. “Oh fuck. You look so pretty like this, covered in my cum. All fucked out because of me.” He’s mesmerized as he plays with his cum, scooping it with his fingers he brings it to your mouth. On instinct you lick them clean, moaning at the taste of him.

The sounds of a buzzing noise scares the two of you away from the moment. “The aliens have succeeded in their plan to overrun the world. Better luck next time.” The two of you stare at each other for a moment and mutually decide to just get dressed. Rafe’s eyes move to your neck as you remove the belt. It’s a bit red but he’s mostly focused on the teeth indents left. 

He has a smug look on his face as you both get dressed that continues once you give him the brownies. Thank god no one was in the lobby waiting to do a room because you don’t know what you would have done if there was. You couldn’t even look Rafe in the eyes after what just happened. If he thought you were shy before then this was a new level. 

Just as he was about to leave he turned back around. You are staring at the floor watching his feet to see when it’s safe to look back up. When they don’t move you reluctantly look up at him. “I might have to come back here. Never knew being locked in a room could be so fun.” With that he walks out leaving you there shell shocked.

He’s right, being locked in a room could be fun.

[shelbgrey]

Hey Pookie so there is this very sexy man named Mark Sloan and I was wondering if you could write some beautiful Fluffy/Smutty dating Headcanons for him PLZ

Dating Mark Sloan headcanons

Paring: Mark Sloan x Shepherd!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Mark Sloan dating Derek's little sister -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚Dating Mood board

You guys started fake dating... That's how it all started. He wanted to make Addison Jelouse and you just want to get back at her for hurting your brother Derek.

You had 10 rules to this plan:

NO Sex - you

Never break rule #1 - you

Be on Mark's services/work in plastics if needed -Mark

Go on dates at least twice a month to make the act look real - Mark

No kissing or touching - if you have to just kiss forehead/cheek and don't touch anything below the waist - you

No sex with nurses, Mark - it'll blow the cover - you

Be nice to my friends(I don't care if you hate interns) - you

Trust each other - mark

Don't play favorites in the hospital - includes not helping with most surgeries/patients - you

Don't fall in love with each other - you

Derek hates it at first, even during the time you guys were faking it all. “stay away from my sister” Derek snapped at mark.

“too late... We're already together”

Derek and Mark got into a fight... That ended with black eyes, bruises, and Mark needing stitches on his face.

“I'm sorry this happened” you mumbled softly as you stitched his jaw for him. He stared at you with those blue eyes you love so much. “don't worry about it”

“maybe we should stop this whole thing” you suggested, Mark shook his head. “no, we got this. Rule #8, remember?” but really he was already falling so hard for you and he wanted to keep you close as long as possible.

Spoil alert you guys broke rule #10 and fell hard for each other. Well he fell first, but you fell harder. “I want this for real... No more fake shit, I love you”

After that ordeal you figured you owed Derek an explanation. Derek never found out about the fake dating, but you need to tell him where your feeling stand. “you love him, don't you?” Derek asks.

“I do... And I trust him” you say.

“if he hurts you... Cheats on you, I'll kill him” simply Derek said and you guys moved on with your lives.

Once you guys start dating for real he faithful and his heart now belongs to you.

Even Derek gave him credit for that. During the few months of you guys actually dating, deek would keep an eye on him. A hot nurse would walk by and Mark wouldn't even look at her.

You see a different side to Mark. He stops looking at any other woman. He just looks at you.

His sweeter, gentler side is only reserved for you.

Callie is your biggest supporter. Always hyping your relationship up. Mark might go to her for relationship advice. Callie might even be a referee during arguments.

Callie is definitely your best friend. You, Mark, and her the hospital's main trio.

Double dates with Callie and Arizona or Derek and Meredith.

He needs physical contact all the time. Rather it be cuddling on bed or on the couch or holding hands in the hospital.

He's a big cuddler. Sometimes he'll just wrap his arms around you and pull you to his chest without saying anything.

He's so flirty with you. No matter how many years you've been together, he still thinks you're the sexiest, most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Like I said, he flirts with you so much. Some times he'll come up behind you while your working and whispere suggestive comment in your ear or grab your ass.

“stop it! We're at work” you quietly scolded him after his gabered your ass. “I can't help it... You have a nice ass”

You steal his leather jacket all the time, even though it looks big on you he thinks it's hot as hell on you. Now and days the only time he sees that jacket is if your wearing it.

Dirty jokes all the time. If you hear something remotely dirty you'll whisper, “that's what she said”

If he's had a hard day, he either needs one of two things. A rough fuck or he needs to curl up beside you and cuddle.

The way he kisses you makes your heart race. He holds your face in his hands and you honestly feel like you and him are the only things that matter in the world.

But he is a rough kisser, but mostly he's a passionate kisser. He pours all his love and emotions into it, he makes sure your the only one on this earth he wants to love.

He's soft with you when it comes to holding you and give affection. He's so gentle and delicate and you can tell through the way he brushes your hair from your face or the way he nuzzles his face into your neck that he just absolutely adores you.

Your is Angel and he feels so unworthy of you. He's so lucky to have you in his life and he doesn't want to screw it up.

Mark's not the jelouse type and neither are you. Dispite his man-whore past you both have a lot of trust in your relationship, but if you be-friend Jackson I think Mark would get jelouse.

Mark hates the way Jackson looks at you, Mark knows he likes you. But your completely oblivious to it because all you see is Mark.

Doggie parents at the beginning of your relationship. You brought home a rotwiler puppy home without him knowing one time.

That dog is your protector rather or not Mark is there or not. He also gets jealous of Mark and will nuzzle his way between you too if your hugging or kissing.

Sometimes you guys will get home so late from the hospital you'll just want to set on the couch and watch TV because your both sleep deprived.

You guys really don't know why or how you got into it, but you found a Chanel that shows re-runs of American Ninja Warrior and old WWE matches. You guys just stated watching them all the time.

He calls you Angel

You guys play wrestle all the time. Sometimes he'll just let you win because he loves seeing you being so happy about.

He steals the covers all the time and if you get cold you'll cuddle closer to him to get warm. He's relized this, so he'll intentionally steal the covers just to have extra cuddle time.

You get upset if he makes the interns that are on his service get him coffee or get his dry cleaning. “they aren't your servants, Mark” you say, taking the money back from the intern.

If you want Mark to do that stuff himself, you have to threaten to do it yourself. “I'll get it, I'm going that way anyway” you say and mark will quickly stop you. “no, no, I'll do it... You don't have to do that crap for me”

You guys don't fight often, but if you do it's usually a couple of days of the silent treatment. Both of you are too stubborn to say sorry or admit your wrong too.

Watching old Universal monster movies, your favorite is The Bride of Frankenstein. You even got him to dress up at the two monsters with you on Halloween one time.

If your sick he'll drop everything and take care of you, he doesn't care if he catches whatever you have he wants you comfortable and cared for.

His apartment getting the 'girlfriend touch', everything is just cleaner and more organized when you start living with him. “where's my belt?” Mark asked looking all over the bedroom floor where it used to be.

“in your dresser where it's supposed to be... And if I step on it one more time it's going in the trash”

✨Passenger princess✨

If you have a Stanley or a water bottle, whatever you drink out of, Mark will probably be drinking out of it too. You guys kiss and have sex all the time, so he doesn't care if he drinks after you.

NSFW headcanons:

He’s an expert at foreplay. He’ll spend as much time as he can trying to get you hot and bothered or worked up.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

He has this mischievous kind of charm to him and he uses it to his advantage when it comes to getting your attention. He knows all your ticks and can easily get your riled up.

Mark loves bitting your neck just to hear you moan. When you finally give in to him, he'll lay you down on the couch or bed and start pealing your clothes off to reveal your chest.

He's definitely the dominant person in bed and your not complaining, he'll get rough and pound hard enough were the bed starts rocking.

The sex maybe rough, but Mark isn't not big on insults. He refuses to degrade you and will only use sweet words.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

He prefers missionary, growling in your ear while his hands grip yours above your head.

Mark also loves watching your face while you bounce up and down his dick. He loves the expressions you make when he thrusts up into you when you least expect it.

Mark just likes to lay back and just watch you ride him, he loves the feeling of your thighs and ass in his hands.

He's a soft/mean Dom, it just depends on his mood. But no matter what he always makes sure your comfortable. He loves to take control in the bed but would never push you.

He loves the sounds you make. The moaning, the begging, everything.

Loves eating you out,your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

Bondeg kink, handcuffs, his ties, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.

There's also a tone of jealous sex. If he sees Alex shamelessly flirting with you expected to be tied to bed as fucks your brains out. If he sees Jackson touch you in a way thats reserved only for him you’re pinned against the wall.

There has been a couple of times Derek has walked in on you while you both are getting it on in one of the on-call rooms, it's safe to day Derek has lernd to knock.

“Mark, he literally saw it” you gasped from under mark.

He kissed your neck. “I was too busy to notice”

This man is amazing when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need. After your both cleaned up, he'll pull you to his chest to cuddle.

[rosenclaws]

Hi love, I hope you’re doing well! I’ve been a fan of (stalking but let’s not talk about it) your blog for a little while, but this is the first time I’ve sent in a request for you! Your writing for Leopold is literally the sweetest ever and you’re the only writer I know of that actively writes for him, it’s so dry out here!! I was wondering if I could request something fluffy with Leopold x fem!reader where is like the most tooth-rotting fluff you can think of. I’m talking him trying to court the reader even though it’s the modern day and that’s not really a thing anymore and shes a bit confused but loves it, a super touchy reader that loves to shower Leo with her affection, literally anything. Those are just ideas, feel free to be as creative as you’d like (and don’t be shy if you wanna make it a longer fic, I’ll take what I can get). This fandom (if I can even call it that) is such a barren wasteland for fanfics and you are such an amazing writer for him and just in general!!

Much love 💕

Courting || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader

a/n: Hi!! Okay I kinda took this in a slightly different direction so if its not what you wanted then plz feel free to send in another request (ik they're closed but I will make an exception) ALSO FUCK HES SO HANDSOME IM GONNA SCREAM

wc: 1.2k

warning: reader wears lipstick

The last thing you expected was to find a neatly written letter waiting for you when you got home. Pinned neatly to the door with a small rose attached to it. You recognized Leopold's handwriting immediately, no one else you know has such beautiful penmanship.

There’s a flutter of butterflies in your stomach as you open the letter. You and Leopold have gotten very close to each other. He’s unbelievably charming and so sweet and he’s just everything. The way he looks at you, it makes you feel like the only one in the world.

Hello my love,

I am writing to ask if you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner and a show this Friday night. I have found myself completely captured by your beauty, you live in my every thought. Every breath I breathe for you and every beat of my heart calls your name. I wish to court you and have the honor of calling you mine.

Your dearest Leopold

You read the letter once, and then again and again. Your fingers trace each letter. Never have you had anyone say something so precious to you before. The rose smells fresh and sweet, he must have gotten it this morning. You hurry to write him a reply, accepting his offer with great enthusiasm.

Folding the letter you press your lips the corner of the paper leaving a lipstick mark. Leopold lives just down the hall so you walk over. Just as you’re about to slip the letter under the door it swings open.

“Leo!” You squeak out as stand back up, almost knocking your head into his chest.

"Hello darling." He's dressed in casual clothes and my god you need to thank whoever introduced him to sweatpants. Anyways.

"I see you received my letter." You bite your lip as you hand over your letter. His name written as fancy as you can.

"Yeah, it was really sweet Leo." He takes the letter and you swear he blushes a little when he sees the lipstick mark. He stares at you for a while, with that perfect smile and gorgeous eyes.

"I uh, I'll see you Friday." His eyes light up at your words.

"I'll see you Friday my love." He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles.

You manage to keep it together as he shuts the door but once you make it back to your apartment you're melting. A giddy feeling you haven't felt in years. You have to wonder how he will attempt to court you in modern day. People don't really court anymore but all you care about is that you have a date with Leopold. Friday couldn't come fast enough.

You had never felt this nervous before. Spending way too long getting ready just to be done an hour early. It's just Leopold, you know Leopold. There's no reason to be nervous but you can't stop the tornado of worry brewing inside of you.

What if something goes wrong? Or the date goes horrible? What if he decides he doesn't like you anymore? What if this ruins your friendship. You shake your head and try to dispel any bad thoughts.

Tonight was going to be great. It has to be. There's a knock at the door and you quickly double check everything before opening it. Any worry still residing in your mind disappears. A beautiful bouquet of flowers is handed to you as Leopold is dressed to the nines. A crisp white shirt and black pants.

"They're beautiful." You say admiring the flowers. Fresh and absolutely gorgeous.

"Not as beautiful as you." Leopold says, barely at a whisper. Like he can't believe that you've even agreed to a date with him. He can't help but admire everything about you. To your smile, your beauty, your laugh, your voice. You're perfect.

You place the flowers in a vase and then the two of you are off. He rests his hand on your back as you walk through the city. His thumb draws circles in your back as you approach the restaurant. He's planned everything himself and he can't help but hope it's enough for you.

Dinner is lovely and the conversation flows without any awkwardness. You're talking to your friend Leopold but you know there's something more as you slowly get closer to each other as the night goes on. Hidden away in the corner booth you are free to get lost in each others eyes. Though you wish you could stay here all night he promised a show. Leopold loved the theater and he promised one day to take you and tonight was the night.

"How did you get such good seats?" You ask as he waits for you to sit before he does.

"I have my ways darling." You're hyper aware of just how close the two of you had gotten at dinner and how close you are now.

The show is interesting yes but Leopold was a very distracting man. Your hands inch closer together. Glancing over at Leopold you find him already looking at you. He waits for your silent approval, not wanting to cross an boundaries. So you take the leap. Intertwining your hands together.

A faint blush on his face and a big smile on yours. His hands are so warm and they fit so perfectly with your hand. When the show ends you reluctantly head back home. You don't want this night to end. Your hands swing together as you gush about the play.

"I had a wonderful night Leopold," You're leaning against your door, wanting so badly to keep the night going. His hair swoops perfectly in front of his forehead and he's got this pretty smile that you can't stop staring at.

"So did I, Thank you for accompanying me tonight." His eyes drift to your lips.

It's adorable seeing just how old school he really is. You know he's from 1876 but still. Modern boys pale in comparison to Leopold.

"You know you don't have to be so nervous Leo, I want to kiss you too." You say boldly.

He chuckles, ducking his head as bites his lip softly. He cups your face gently and you close eyes as he gently captures your lips in a kiss. He's gentle and sweet and you crave more. Still he pulls away much too soon. You pout slightly and he laughs.

"I know I'm much more traditional than you're used to." He traces your lips with his thumb. Admiring every little detail of your face.

"But someone as wonderful as you deserves to be treated with the upmost respect." He kisses your forehead gently.

"You deserve to be loved," Another kiss.

"To be cherished," Another.

"And to be worshiped." Words fail you completely. Leopold has rendered you utterly speechless.

"Did I overstep?" He asks, worried about you silence.

You shake your head. practically jumping into him as you kiss him. Passionately running your hands through his hair. He groans slightly as you tug on his hair. He pushes you against the wall, bracing your head with his hand as he kisses back.

"I'm falling in love with you." He whispers. A hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I'm already in love with you." You admit.

You become lost in his lips as he kisses you again. He just can't get enough. You blindly reach for the door handle and without argument pull him inside of your apartment.

Soft kisses and laughter are shared quietly between the two of you. Time ticks by but you have lost all sense of care in the world. All that matters to you is this moment. Your fairytale come to life. And it was just perfect.

[mustainegf]

Helooo

No clue how I came up this thus idea but hear me out plz.

You know the infamous the GnR & Metallica tour in 1992? So reader and James are together but Axl keeps flirting and making sexual remarks about her. James is pissed but cause of the contract obligations can’t beat him up. So as a joke, Lars (or someone else) suggest to get the reader pregnant, because then it’ll be pretty clear whose girl she is. This leads to the nastiest, filthiest sex in James’s dressing room.

A few months later, Metallica and GnR meet again at Grammy’s/VMA/whatever and the reader has a very prominent belly, so it’s obvious. And James is there, hands on her belly all the time and the alpha male smirk “yup, she is mine, I’ve put a baby inside her” directed at Axl.

I love your stories so much 😊😊😊

THIS IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT!???

𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐃 ¹⁹⁹²

Any tour with Metallica had always been... something, but the infamous Guns N' Roses and Metallica tour was another animal altogether. A whole new level of chaos. Not just because of the music. By that time, I had been with James for a couple of years, and we were engaged. He was an understanding partner, so it wasn't a big deal to live life on the road when we had to. I loved James more than words could say, and my feelings were returned.

But Axl Rose, with his constant flirtations and sexual remarks, was testing our patience.

James and I tried to brush off the comments from Axl, well aware that a fight would surely end the tour. But it was clear he was just barely keeping a lid on his anger.

One night, after one aggravating encounter too many, James and I sat in his dressing room, trying to cool off.

"He's such a fucking prick," James growled, pacing back and forth. "I swear to God, if it weren't for this damn tour, I'd knock his teeth out out of that stupid, pretty boy face of his."

I reached out and grabbed his arm. "I know, James. He's just trying to get under your skin. Don't let him win."

James sighed, holding me close. "I know. I just… I hate the way he looks at you, the things he says. perverted, and he fucking knows we're together..."

Lars, while walking in, decides to lighten the mood with one of his stupid jokes. "Hey, I've got an idea," he said, smirking. "If you really want to shut Axl up, knock 'er up. That'll show him whose girl she is." Lars snickered.

I couldn't help but laugh at how absurd it sounded, but James's eyes lit up with a wicked glaze. "You know what? That ain't a bad idea..."

Lars' eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wait, are you fawkin' serious?"

James glanced at me with a smirk now playing on his lips. "What do you think, baby? Want to make sure Axl knows you're mine?"

"James, this isn't just a revenge story, this is a baby we're talking about. A little tiny human that you and me have to dote on." I tried my best to be rational, but I had to admit, I liked the idea of having his baby.

"Honey, the revenge is an afterthought, I'd love to have a baby with you. So? You wanna make this baby or what?" I snickered evilly.

It was a nuts kind of idea, but something about it refused to be denied. I laughed. "Let's do it."

Lars laughed, shaking his head. "You two are insane..."

The instant Lars was out of the room, all bets seemed to be off with James. He yanked me close, his hands scouring over my body. "Come 'ere," he growled, smirking into my lips as we kissed.

His tongue probed my mouth with such hunger, the only clear though on his mind seemed to be getting me pregnant. His hands slid under my shirt, whisking it over my head and out of the way. I moaned when his lips wandered down my neck, his fingers unhooking my bra faster than ever before.

"James," I hummed, fumbling with his belt. "I need you..."

A low dark chuckle sent sparks down my back. "I'm going to fuck you so hard, you'll forget all about that asshole."

He pushed me onto the couch, his hands on my hips, yanking my jeans down. I shivered and giggled as cool air hit my newly exposed skin. James quickly shed his own clothes; his erection was already straining against his boxers, just begging to be swallowed inside me.

He knelt between my legs, his fingers teased at my entrance before delving inside. I purr softly, closing my eyes and drowning in that sweet feeling of his fingers. "God, you're so wet," he murmured, "Excited for me to fuck my baby into you, huh?"

"James, please," I begged, my hips grinding against his hand. "I need you inside me..."

He didn't need any more encouragement. He slid into place at my entrance, his cock gliding against my swollen, wet lips. "You ready for me?" he asked, his eyes locked on mine.

"Yes," I breathed, the word shaking with desire. "I'm ready, James."

With a deep rumbling groan, he gently thrust inside me, filling me completely. I whined, my nails scraping into his shoulders as he began to move, and my god it felt good to have him raw, without a condom like we always did. "Mine..." he hissed against my ear. "No one else can have you."

"Yes," I gasped, my body trembling. "I'm yours, James. Only yours."

His hands gripped my hips, driving into me, making sure to focus on rubbing that sweet spot, that he knew so well. "I'm gonna fill you up," he growled. "I'm going to put a baby inside you, and everyone will know you're mine."

"Yes, J-James..." I strained as my body was just on the edge of climax. "Fill me... Make me y-yours.".

Finally, he thrust once more and buried himself full length within me. We both came, a shared tremor taking both our bodies as we held for each other. James collapsed on top of me, burying his face in my neck and delivering lazy, sweet kisses.

For some time, we cuddled nude on that couch. Finally, James lifted his head, a smug smirk on his lips. "That ought to shut him up."

The months just flew by, and there was the event we all had been waiting for, the VMAs. My belly was very noticeable then, it was like the whole world knows that I'm pregnant. I'm 6 months along now. James was elated, always touching my belly and talking to our unborn baby.

The minute we arrived at the awards show, the buzz was immediate. Whispers followed us everywhere we went, and I could feel eyes on us as we made our way down the red carpet. Every fan, every groupie, every metalhead in the world wanted to catch a glimpse of me, carrying the legendary James Hetfield's baby. James's hand was firmly on my belly, his other arm protectively around me.

We mingled for a bit then with other celebrities, but as expected, shortly found ourselves face to face with Axl. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of me, his gaze falling first to my swollen belly in my glimmering cherry-red dress. James smirked, his hand resting possessively on my stomach. "Hey, Axl," he said, his voice obviously smug. "You remember my beautiful fiancée."

Axl's face flushed, but he forced a smile. "Congratulations," he muttered,very clearly uncomfortable.

James's smile stretched wider. "Thanks. We're real excited. Can't wait to be a father."

Axl grunted a reply, but I hardly even heard him. My attention was on James, the way that he looked at me with all of that pride. I snuggled into him.

The congratulations kept coming from our friends and many others whom I'd never met in my life, but they surely knew James' name. James was just the portrait of a proud, expectant father, his hand never left my bump. His eyes shine every time somebody asks about the baby.

We finally sat at our table, and James came close to me at the table, his lips brushing my ear. "Just can't wait for our little baby," he whispered, his hand gently rubbing on my tummy. "I love you so much."

[p0lyn3sian]

Can I plz get a child reader?

A child reader with undiagnosed autism x multi slasher/whatever you want to write fandom

YESSS OFFFCCC!!!! I only added slashers that would be great with kids!

I also had to search up about undiagnosed autism, so this was maybe or not accurate, so I'm really sorry about that!! Also your age would be 6 or 7 or whichever you want! Also, this was kind of off topic for some of these characters, so I hope it's okay!

Slashers: Carrie, Hewitts & Sawyers (Mama Luda, Hoyt, Monty, Thomas, Drayton, Nubbins, Chop-Top, & Bubba), Jason, Hannibal & Will, Sinclair Brothers (Bo, Vincent, & Lester), Norman, & Chucky & Tiffany!!

Slashers w/ a child reader that has undiagnosed autism!

Carrie:

Carrie understands what stuff you hate and what stuff you love/like! She looks out for you while you play on the playground, and she knows now that you don't like to socialize and you would rather play by yourself.

Carrie knew that you hated loud things or sounds, because you would cover your ears from those noises. Sometimes Carrie would call out your name, and you wouldn't respond to her so she'll rub your back or lightly tap your back. Carrie would then walk to the kitchen with you and make your favorite food!

Hewitt family & Sawyer family:

Living with a cannibal family is sometimes scary for you and okay. Most times the whole family is busy doing their own things, and sometimes they'll argue about things.. Mama Luda knows that you cover your ears if someone is too loud, so she'll make everyone shut up, or she'll hit every single one of them (She did it a few times with her wooden broom, which left red marks on some of them 💀.)

Except for Thomas and Bubba, these two would try and make you laugh or happy! Nubbins and Chop-top would mostly likely bother you, because apparently these two have nothing else to do, and just bother you without a care in the world. You'll sometimes be with Monty and his little dog, just only petting the dog if you're bored or playing with his little dog too! You'll thank Drayton for cooking his delicious chili every time he cooks it! Hoyt is something else, he'll yell at you for this and that has never even done before. Until, Mama Luda will start beating him and make him do something else instead of screaming at you. You love hanging out with Mama Luda, because she loves to give you hugs and kisses on the cheeks and forehead!

Jason:

Jason would see you do stuff repeatedly with your hands or spinning around in circles, etc. Jason would try and calm you down with your meltdowns, he'll try hugging you, making your favorite food, or reading your favorite book to you! When it's camping day at camp crystal lake, Jason would always keep a look out of where you are. Jason would see that you don't really interact with people, just small talks here and there but nothing more than that. Jason is not worried about that at all with you not socializing with other kids your age or people that are older than you!

Jason gets really worried that you don't answer him, like you're staring at him while he's signing your name, so Jason would tap on you gently to see if your trance would stop. It did and you would kinda see Jason crying, because of how close he is and he would give you a big hug, while you will hear sniffles from him. Jason also knows what things and/or food that you love and what you hate!

Hannibal & Will:

Hannibal and Will know about the undiagnosed autism you have! Hannibal has seen your reactions with different types of smell and even food too! Will also see that you would avoid eye contact when Will would ask you things! So, these two would try and do things to help with your undiagnosed autism! For example, Will would buy you coloring pages and water color pages too! Hannibal would try and find you other calming activities, like toys that aren't loud for your ears or toys that can be really boring over time!

Hannibal and Will have put you homeschooled, because they have a feeling that if you are in a public school with your last name being the same as Hannibal's and if the FBI would find out about you, they'll take you away which they wouldn't want at all. There's been some difficulties with you not responding to your name, Will or Hannibal would tap you softly and make you do something else and would do the work later for your undiagnosed autism! Hannibal and Will would soothe you from your meltdowns you would have and make you a warm cup of tea that is great for your taste buds!

Sinclair Brothers:

You would always hangout with Vincent, because it's quiet and you love seeing Vincent do his work! (Vincent would make a spinning circle with his index finger, to tell you to turn your whole body around, because some of his work is not for you to see.) You love hanging out with Lester and Jonesy, because Lester would always try and make you laugh whenever you feel down, or Jonesy licking your face which also makes you laugh too! You still kinda think Bo is scary, but Bo would try and get things from people that are interesting or something in the house they owned when they were little.

Bo would give you Vincent's coloring pages with coloring stuff he has found in their toy boxes! He would also give you toys that are interesting for you too! So, little by little time hanging out with Bo, you would sometimes go with him and people would try and kidnap you even though they're trying to get you out of that scary place. Until, Bo would hunt them down with your cries screaming for Bo to help you from them. All three brothers would try and make time to play board games with you, or cook food for you too!

Norman:

Norman knows a lot of things about undiagnosed autism! He has a book or two that's about autism and other stuff too! So, Norman would examine what food you hate and food that you love to eat! Also, smells that would make you go into the other room. Norman would buy toys or things that are calming for you and that you wouldn't get bored while Norman is working!

Norman sometimes calls out your name for something or to eat, and he would see that you aren't reacting to your name being called. So, he would tap on you gently to come do some stuff or eat! Norman would also soothe you from your meltdowns that you have, he would hug you for a little bit until you feel better, or do things that you love!

Chucky & Tiffany:

Chucky and Tiffany would try anything to calm you down from your meltdowns! They would make you laugh, or do something that you love! Tiffany would give you kisses on your cheeks and/or forehead, she'll also give you a hug if you want hugs too! You would smile at Chucky to see if he smiles at you too, and Chucky will give his smile, because he sees people not smiling back at you which makes you not look at them until they smile at you!

Tiffany knows what food you love and hate, even smells too! She would always tell her husband what things to buy for you and other stuff too! If you're eating a snack at the table, Tiffany and Chucky would always sit with you and talk with you so that you wouldn't have a sad face! Chucky and Tiffany would always make time for you, and take you out somewhere instead of you staying in the house! They would take you to a fun place and a restaurant that you'll definitely love!

[xhoneygirlxx]

he's not magic

eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: the time of the month has come and Eddie is the only person who can sooth you.

warnings: talks about menstrual cycles/blood. mentions of dying. tooth rotting fluff. Eddie is a cutie pie. pet names used; sweetheart, baby, honey. shitty writing/spelling errors; if you find any plz ignore it lolololololol.

a/n: i'm currently in so much pain from my period and the only thing i want is for someone to coddle me and tell me i'm going to be ok. i hope you guys enjoy this very small thing, it's not much and it's not good but maybe it'll help you feel good on those days when life is shit. love you all <3

--

You're dying, a slow, painful, and mournful death. At this point you stopped caring, stopping all the begging you've done all morning for your life to continue. If this was how you were going out than so be it, you just wished your end had come faster.

You've already bled through two pairs of panties and two pairs of shorts, now left in your trusty period panties and an oversized shirt. Your stomach was bloated to the point it was uncomfortable, your breasts were so swollen that your chest felt like it was going to concave under the weight, and your back felt as if it was going to snap in half at any moment.

It felt like you tried everything, ibuprofen, heating pad, and propping a pillow in between your legs - none of the tricks worked. Now you were left in the fetal position, arms wrapped around your middle and knees pulled to your chest.

For the past how ever many hours you've been moaning out in pain, the stabbing feeling in your uterus just too much to handle. You're sure if someone were to walk in and see you they'd think you were insane and right now you couldn't blame them.

You did look insane, hair wild and matted to your face from all the sweat you've accumulated, voice hoarse and scratchy from all the wounded animal sounds you've made, and your face screwed up in an unflattering way.

Your phone has gone unanswered all day, the only person to have texted you was Eddie. At first it was only tik toks, small comments he thought would make you giggle, and then it turned into him updating you about his day at work, and finally worried questions about if you were okay.

You felt so fucking guilty for not responding, not telling him that you were fine but you just physically couldn't move from your crouched position. This only made you angrier, the fact that your temporarily paralyzed and are restricted from doing the things you need to do.

The fridge sits empty and in need of new groceries, laundry stays piled up by the washer where they wait to be cleaned, and Eddie is waiting for your response worrying about your well being - that is if he hasn't already contacted the national guard to track your location.

Everything is so shitty, the pain, the hurting, the guilt, the frustration. You feel like you're a balloon that's been filled up too much and is waiting to burst at the seams.

You don't have to take long before the heated tears from your eyes fall down, hitting the bridge of your nose, only to land on the pillow beneath your head. It's not a violent cry, at least not yet, just frustrated tears that seem to slip away from their barricade.

You don't even notice the front door of your apartment opening or the sound of Eddie calling for your name, only focusing on the pulsating of your uterus that debilitates your body.

"Fuck, baby I've been worried about you," You don't even turn and look at him, your eyes are still harshly closed. By the sound of his voice you know he's out of breath, brown curls probably wild from the speed of his running.

"Shit, sweetheart, are you okay?" The worry in his voice hits right on the spiderweb crack, shattering you into a million little pieces.

You can't hold it back, the wailing that rips from your throat is something close to bone chilling. Tears streams from your eyes without relent, whole body shaking from the cries that rip from your body.

It doesn't take more than thirty seconds to feel the bed dip as your boyfriend crawls into bed next to you. He doesn't think twice before pulling you in, one arm wrapped around your back and the other soothing down your hair on the side of your head.

"It's okay, baby. M'here, you're okay." Eddie coos and it's like music to your ears.

The warmth from his body fills you in a way your heating pad couldn't. Even with the mucus that fills your nose you catch a whiff of his scent, smoke, pine, and outside -undoubtedly him. His calloused hand runs soothingly up and down your back, allowing your bones to relax into his touch.

Eddie doesn't have to ask, he knows you better than you know yourself, and the way your scrunched up on your bed and crying he knows that you've been battling your pain all day.

"Sweetheart, you have to breath. Can you do that for me? Take one big deep breath, s'all I want, okay?"

You nod your head against his chest, following the way his chest moves as he demonstrates for you. Between hiccupped breaths and streaming tears, you allow your lungs to fill up with as much air as you can take in, releasing it right after in one long exhale.

"Good job, baby. Did such a good job f'me." Eddie's being soft with you, a side of him he only allows you to see and no one else.

You let his praise melt over you, soaking it right up like the plants in a drought. For the first time since you woke up you feel lighter, something you only feel when Eddie's by you. The cramps that have been going nonstop have finally subsided, the presence of your boyfriend scaring them away.

"It hurt so bad, Eds. S'really bad today." Your voice is shaky, as if one wrong move and you can break out into another sob.

"I know, honey, but it's okay. I'm gonna take care of you, kay? I'm gonna make it all better."

You both know that he has no control over what your body decides to do but just the promise alone has your worries easing away. Your body relaxes into him, your knees slowly falling down to their normal position until your laying right up against him.

"On a scale from one to ten, where are you at?" You take a moment to think about it, really evaluating the squeezing of your organs.

"Was a ten but now it's like a seven."

Eddie hums, his hand still soothing up and down your back. A small pause settles over his words, like he's trying to wrack his brain for the next action he's going to make so you can feel better.

"How 'bout you get some rest, then when you get up we'll get you something to eat? Sound okay?" You nod again, too tired to form any sort of response.

Eddie acknowledges your response with a kiss to the top of your head, making you hum in content when he does. It doesn't take long for the tiredness of your body to settle over you, quiet snores coming from your nose in no time.

Even if his arms fall asleep and his back feels stiff, Eddie stays there with you, soothing you in your sleep to ensure that your pain stays at bay. When you do wake up he's right there, waiting for you with some water and more medicine before helping you into the shower.

He's not magic and he has no idea what to do when it comes to woman's health but Eddie Munson will be damned if a period makes his girl cry like that again.

---

[cyberrose2001]

Hi! Sorry if this has been done before (in that case ignore lol), but can you plz do TFA or TFP Prime and Ratchet reacting to Gen Z slang? Tysm!

TFP Prime and Ratchet react to reader using Gen Z slang

oh man this was a joy to write. thank you for requesting and i hope that i don't come off as too cringe

Warnings: Small mention of alcohol (high-grade), human reader, sfw

Word count: 475

"Man, doesn't Megatron just give you the ick?"

The two oldest mechs of Team Prime pause their intellectual conversation and turn to you, both staring perplexedly at you.

Casually leaning against the rail with your head resting on a hand, you stare back at them with a shit-eating grin on your face.

"It's giving... delulu with a side of obsessed."

"I beg your pardon?" Ratchet tilts his helm at you. Optimus follows suit, raising an eyebrow at your sudden commentary.

"Kind of cringe if you think about it," Your smile only widens, "Like bro, it's been millions of years; give it a rest and take the L."

The two mechs glance at each other in silent telepathic communication, hoping that the other has even the slimmest idea of what those words mean. Ick? Cringe? Take the L?

The flabergasted look on their faces as they turn to look at you causes a supressed laugh to catch at your throat.

"What the frag does that mean?" Ratchet pinches his optic ridge, clearly annoyed that he's even choosing to entertain you, "Why should Megatron be handed a letter of the english alphabet?"

"I believe it is what the kids call..." Optimus flicks his optics over to your concerningly reddened face, "Humour."

You're so close to loosing the plot it's not even funny. If you we're to try and explain, you would surley keel over and die before even muttering a word. Keeping your swave and casual stance against the rail, you make eye contact with Optimus.

"Periodt." You let a titter slip your lips when you hear the loud, maniacle laugher of the kids from behind the couch.

You can almost hear the cogs turning in Optimus' processor as he looks to Ratchet for assistance, but the medic offers no help as he glares daggers at you from behind his pinched digits.

"You say 'Periodt', but what does that mean?!" Ratchet's bubbling annoyance explodes into frustration as he looks towards Primus for an answer.

"Oop, Ratchet is in his salty era."

"My WHAT?" Ratchet whips back to face you, and the look on his face is the final straw for you as you keel over and burst into a furious howl, almost whacking your head on the rail as you grip on for dear life.

Optimus watches as Ratchet throws his servos in the air in a wave of surrender and removes himself, presumably to cry over a glass of high grade while babbling about his disdain for the human race. The Prime turns to you with a slight ammused expression at your laughter.

"Would it be correct to say that Ratchet has also... taken the L?"

You die, you die right where you stand. The kids joining you as your body clatters against the rails to the ground and howl in fit of unrestrained belly laughter.

[the-offside-rule]

Pablo Gavi (FCBarcelona) - Love Lies

Requested: yes

Prompts: 32) "Keep the jersey on."

                   43) "I'm in the better position to be giving a tantrum right now."

Warnings: smut, 18+, cheating (???), angst, kinda sad at the end

The final whistle blew and up stood Ana, clapping meloncholically along with the other fans in the Parc Montjuiic. Y/n stood up too to clap along. "What a game." Ana said, disappointed. "But Pablo is going to be so happy because of his assist." Y/n rolled her eyes as Ana mentioned her boyfriend again. Pablo Gavi was known to most as the young and upcoming talent in Barcelona, but Y/n knew him as her ex-roommates annoying boyfriend that would stop at nothing to annoy her. "Yeah, he will be so happy." Y/n said sarcastically. "Oh come on. Don't be like that. We still need to get you a date with Pedri or one of the other guys." Ana smiled, slinging her arms around her friend. "If they're anything like your golden boy, I don't want them."

Ana and Y/n stood awaiting Pablo and in the meantime rated different players for Y/n to date. Unfortunately for Ana none of the players peaked Y/n's interest, and thankfully for Y/n, Ana's boyfriend had finally showed up. "Hi babe!" Y/n looked at Pablo, more like a glare. "I'm so sorry about the game." Ana offered a soft smile to her boyfriend. "Yeah. It happens." He replied. "Y/n." She arched a brow. "Gavira." He chuckled. "I thought you said we weren't allowed to be like this anymore?" Pablo asked Ana. "I- You're not. Y/n what the hell?" Y/n rolled her eye set again. "Yeah, roll your eyes further. You might find a brain in that skull of yours." Y/n gasped. "Okay! Stop! This is no way to treat your guest, babe!" Both Pablo and Y/n looked at Ana confused. Guest? "Come back to ours!" Y/n looked back to Pablo, rolling his eyes at the sheer idea of her coming back for a few drinks. "I don't think that's a good idea-"

"Oh come on! Please?" Y/n looked into her friends eyes. She couldn't say no. "Only for a little while." Y/n replied quietly. Ana squealed and hugged her friend tightly. "My two favourite people having drinks with me. My lucky day." Ana chuckled. The trio got into the car and headed home. It was how their hangouts usually went; Pablo and Ana talking the whole time whilst Y/n sat in the back on her phone, practically forgotten about. Y/n was walking around the house aimlessly as Pablo and Ana did....couple things. She felt uncomfortable and the sooner she could get home, the better. Her phone buzzed, pulling her from her thoughts.

When you're coming up, could you bring me some perfume from the en suite plz???

Y/n looked at the text a bit confused, but wanting to be a good friend, she agreed. Y/n walked upstairs to meet the couple but make a quick stop at their bedroom. She stopped as she spotted Pablo rummaging around for something in the bathroom. "What are you looking for?" Y/n asked. Pablo looked back to her. "Just Ana's perfume. Do you know where it is?" Y/n looked confused. "But she sent me to-" The pair jumped as a loud thud was heard by the bedroom door closing. "I just say we tell her we can't find it. I've been looking for a good 5 minutes now and I don't think-" Pablo cut himself off as he tried to open the door. He pulled again, then started pounding at it. "What's wrong?" Y/n asked, clearly annoyed. "It's locked." He replied. "And how is it locked?" Y/n tried it for herself. "Ana! Ana, let us out!" Pablo shouted through the door.

"Let us out!" Y/n almost screamed. "Not until you two stop hating eachother!" Ana shouted back. "I'll go out to get dinner and when I get back, you guys better be on good terms!" Y/n and Pablo stood trying to convince Ana to let them out, but it didn't work. Ana still left and shut the front behind her. "That's at least a half an hour I have to be stuck with you." Pablo groaned and sat on the bed. "Believe me, I'm just as mad at this as you are."

"Why do you not like me? The sooner you tell me, the sooner we would be able to leave." Y/n said calmly, walking towards him. "Because Ana wasn't the friend I was meant to end up with that night." Y/n pulled a confused face, looking at the spaniard. "What do you mean?" She asked. "When we met? I didn't intend for me to bring Ana back to my place, I wanted you instead. But I saw you with some other guy so I didn't bother and I went home and slept with Ana." She was dumbfounded. "You liked me?" She asked, almost breathlessly. "I did, until you started arguing all the time. You got annoying and I couldn't get rid of you. You are Ana's best friend." They didn't know how but they had managed to get close, a little too close. Her eyes looked between both of Pablo's and do to his delicious looking lips, before trailing back up to his eyes. "Don't look at me like that." He whispered, sounding more like he was pleading. "Im not looking at you any differently than I always do." She whispered in turn. He had somehow gotten closer.

Pablo's hands rested on her hips, his lips closely shadowing hers. She felt his hot breath on her skin. "We shouldn't be doing this." Y/n whispered. "Then stop." He replied as if it was a simple solution for her. "I- Pablo. We-" She looked between his eyes. "I can't." His hands moved from her hips up her torso. "If you can't then stop me." He whispered. Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat. "Don't ask me to do that." She begged. "Why? Because you don't want me to?" She nodded shamefully. "Then we can keep this quiet and brief." Without much more warning, his lips began kissing the nape of her neck, her head falling back to give him more access. "Pablo." His name fell from her mouth like a sin. "Please." Her fingers ran through his hair, pulling and gripping the curled locks.

A wild grin fell onto his face. "For someone who can't do this, you're very eager." He said before kissing her hungrily, both lips fighting for dominance. "Listen, I am in the better position to be giving a tantrum right now. I just lost the game." Pablo walked backwards, with each step he hoped he would be landing on his bed and eventually he did. Y/n squealed at the sudden drop, making Pablo laugh. "That was funny." He chuckled. "Shut up." She said before delving right back in for another long kiss. Pablo turned them so he was on top. As each of his kisses deepened, he got harder and harder and it was difficult to ignore it. His hips began moving forward, trying his best to relieve the burning desire he held for her desperately. Y/n's hand made it's way down to his umissable bulge, a grin plastered on her lips.

"Dry humping? What are you a teenager?" Y/n challenged. Pablo sat up quickly and undid his zipper. "Alright then. If you want to be like that." He mumbled, before pulling at her trousers. Y/n reached down to the hem of her Barça shirt beginning to lift it when Pablo grabbed her hands. "No, keep the jersey on." Y/n let go of her shirt and smiled. "Whatever you want." She winked, before Pablo hooked her panties with his fingers and tugged. In one swift movement, the fabric was removed. He looked at her hungrily. "Fuck." He mumbled. "Well? Are you just going to stare or actually do something?" She asked.

Pablo's hands traced up her legs slowly, teasing her mercilessly. She whined as he pressed gentle kisses on her thigh, looking up at her almost coming undone from this alone. "Doesn't this have to be quick?" She asked, her hands falling to his head and tangling in his hair. "You're right for once." He rasped, taking his length out and lining up with her. The chain he wore dangled from his neck, prompting Y/n to reach up and bite it, grinning. In turn, this generally innocent act drove Pablo crazy and prompted him to delve into her. She gasped as Pablo took the first few thrusts gently.

She gripped onto his biceps as the noises slipped from their mouths like a sin. "It's okay?" He asked. Y/n nodded. "Quicker." With her permission, he sped up the pace. Her fingernails dug into his back, leaving light scrapes that would easily be gone by the morning. In turn, his teeth nicked and nibbled her neck, leaving marks behind. His name tumbled from her lips over and over again, whilst a chain of curses came from his. "You feel so good." He whispered, his thrusts becoming irregular and sloppy. She hummed in response. "Just for you." His hand traced a line down her middle, ultimately ending on her clit. He massaged it in a circular motion. He would be dammed if he finished before she did. Her mouth fell open as a soft gasp came with it. "You like that?" She nodded, not able to string together a sentence. "Good girl." He growled, turning back to kissing her neck. Her skin was ruined with dark lilac marks that looked like watercolour.

His hand travelled under the barca shirt, lifting it slightly. "You said-" His lips met hers. "Just be quiet and watch." He growled. She nodded in compliance as she focused on how his lips carefully drew bruises right down her core in an almost perfect straight line, his eyes looking up to make sure she was watching how he ruined her. "Can we make this any quicker?" He grinned. "Of course." His hips moved at a rapid pace as Y/n crumbled beneath him, each curse growing louder and louder until she finally came undone, her fingers pulling at his hair as she did. Pablo finished only a few thrusts after as the pair lay in eachother's arms for a moment, both just enjoying their highs, their foreheads resting off one another's. Their eyes opened to stare back at eachother and it settled in. They fucked up and they fucked up badly. Pablo swallowed the spit in his mouth and pulled out, heading to the en suite to grab a towel, chucking it to Y/n.

Y/n stared at herself in the mirror, lifting her shirt to see how her skin looked almost painted in red and purple. Pablo pulled up his trousers, stealing glances of Y/n as she stared at her reflection. "You should get ready. She'll be back soon." Pablo said quietly, his actions finally just settling in. "What do we tell her?" She asked. Pablo shrugged, heading to make the bed. "I don't know. I was thinking of ending it with her." Y/n turned, looking at him almost in disgust. "Over this?" Pablo scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. I've been thinking of doing it for a while. This-" He wagged his finger between them. "Just confirmed I don't love her. So, I am going to break up with her next week and thankfully-" He paused and looked over to her. "We will never see eachother again." She nodded along. "Good. I don't think you deserve a girl like her." Y/n said. "I don't think you do either." He replied and he was right. What kind of a friend does what she just did?

A knock startled the deathly glances between them. "Are you finally friends now?" Ana's sweet voice asked through the door. Y/n didn't answer. She couldn't. "Yes, yes we are." Pablo answered. Ana unlocked the door and smiled. "Oh thank God. Now we can be civil." She pecked Pablo's cheek as he looked right back at Y/n. "Of course. Anything for you." He smiled lightheartedly. "Are you gonna staythe night?" Y/n looked between them both. "I might actually head home. I have class tomorrow." Ana looked at her confused. "But tomorrow is Sunday?"

"Yoga. I do yoga classes."

"Since when?"

"It's a six week thing? First one is tomorrow." Ana nodded. "Okay, well have fun. Message me when you get home." Y/n hugged her friend. She felt like she was lying right to her face, she betrayed her. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ana." She smiled, anticipating the moment she could leave. "Okay, I'll see you later." Ana smiled, unaware of the sins that had happened just moments ago in her own bedroom.

[tiramissyoucake]

Bimbo doll

MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DNI, Satoru gojo x reader, all characters are 18+, reader is heavily bimbo coded and loves pink, satoru's gross here, 1.3k words approx

CW: Masturbation, satoru gets horny over reader sending him pics of her dresses, satoru has fantasies of reader and she's unaware, again satoru is gross here you've been warned, some proof reading but very little

Notes: I'm so sleepy and I'm too lazy to fix any other mistakes so if you see mistake no you didnt. had to write sth for Satoru, as wit all of my creative works I hate this but I hope u like it though!!

Satoru thinks you're absolutely adorable. From the moment he was blinded by the absurd amount of pink you were wearing, he thought you were the cutest thing on this planet. The coordinated color palettes of your clothes that always had a splash of pink, that shiny layer of gloss on your lips that you regularly reapplied, he gets so happy when he hears the clack of keychains because that means you're near.

Of course he couldn't keep himself away and you both exchanged numbers at one point, you gladly gave it to him after he shot you a lame pick up line— to which you laughed and smiled, simply telling him "you're funny! Sure!"It was almost too good to be true.

You got along well with each other, you both liked sweets, complimented each other's fashion sense, shared a similar sense of humour— when satoru asked you to describe him, you told him that you love being around him because he's fun (you said something about how he 'gets it', a quote about girls.. getting it and others not getting it..? He didn't understand, but he deduced that you like him, and that's all that matters.)

Satoru notices you love sharing tidbits of your day, and most of the time, you usually share a photo related to it in some way along with multiple typos, abbreviations, and emoticons.

"(Name)💘: Toru omg look at these shoes! Super cute right :3" Attached image sent.

"(Name)💘: I went 2 that cafe u told me, the strawberry shortcake is soooo good" Attached image sent.

"(Name)💘: I have 2 go 2 a party tonite, which dress should i choose!1!!??" 4 images sent.

Being friends with you had its benefits, you were comfortable with Satoru, so comfortable that he almost dropped his phone when he opened the images you sent; all of them were minidresses, all of them different shades of pink, all of them hugging your figure so tightly and snuggly he was tempted to stalk your social media to know where this party is.

He couldn't see the details that differentiated each dress, or at least he didn't focus on them as he felt his cock throb in his sweatpants.

"Ooooohhhhhfffuuck..." he mumbled longly to no one in particular, Satoru almost choked on his spit as he sat up from his position in his bed, all the heat rushing to his face as he examined your photos closely. Your poses so cute as you stared at your phone screen in the photos with a small pout, you had the pretty sparkly gloss on this time, that's his favorite..

(Name)💘: TORU OMFG PLZ ANSWEERRRR MY RIDES ALMOST HERE >:(

he almost forgot your little dilemma.

"Sorry lol I was eating, go with this one!!" he forwarded one of the four dresses with his response and sent his text, he felt guilty about lying but what was he supposed to say? 'My bad! You were so hot I got a little hard like some Virgin!' No way in hell.

You answered back quickly, how did you type quicker than he did with nails longer than his? He has a hunch it's because you don't care about typos but the dedication is admirable.

(Name)💘: TGANK UUUUU ill text u after the party!

(Name)💘: thank* lol

He let out a small laugh at your typo, scrolling back to the photos he zoomed in on one of the four he hadn't picked, and the reason why he didn't choose this dress is that he knows no sane rational person with a sexual libido would be able to resist you in this.

You looked so cute, so perfect, Satoru let out a small sigh as he pulled his dick out of his pants hissing at the cold air, his thumb smeared the precum over his tip. He should feel bad– terrible even, but how can he resist? There's no way you have no idea what you do to him, he tried justifying in his mind as his cock throbbed desperately in his hand.

Biting his bottom lip, the image of you in his phone fueled his imagination as he envisioned arriving with you at this party you mentioned, having such a pretty thing like you on his arm would be a major ego boost too. The length of your dress could easily allow him to pull down your panties (did you even have a pair on under that dress?), bend you over the host's bathroom sink and slam his cock balls deep inside you, relentlessly filling you then demanding you to pull your panties back up and come back to the party with him as his cum would be dripping between your thighs.

As Satoru bucked his hips up into his hand, he stopped briefly to spit into his hand, deciding there's no time to look for lube, he went back to fucking his hand to the thought of you. If only you knew your new friend got off to these innocent pictures you sent him, if only you knew what he wanted to do to you– he's confident you wouldn't wanna be friends anymore. Shaking his head he pushed aside those thoughts and focused on his current pleasure, his fantasy, his goal of cumming from the pictures of you in those dresses you handpicked to show him.

He mumbled words of encouragement as if you were there with him right now bouncing on his dick instead of the reality of his hand moving up and down, mutters of 'good girl's and praises like "so good, baby" and "yeah? You like that?", desperate to convince himself of his fantasy. Satoru tossed aside his phone long ago after making sure the photos were engraved in his mind, he wasn't expecting you to update him until sometime near midnight.

his eyes closed as his other hand slid up his stomach pushing up the material of his shirt until it reached his collarbone, his fingers trying to find any weak points on his body to rub, pinch or entice as his hand rubbed his dick to the pace of his imaginary storyline; where he dreamed of driving you back home and stuffing you full of his cock until the only word that was in your vocabulary was his name.

"Yesyesyes, (Name)..! Mmmmmhffuck..!" He groaned out as he felt his end near already, his face warming up to a soft reddish pink reminiscent of the tip of his dick as he fucked his hand, soft gasps and groans escaped him as he imagined all the filthy things he could do to you, all the filthy things he wanted to know about you.

What type of panties do you always wear? What type of men make you horny? Who have you been with? Would you let him fuck you? 'Please lemme fuck you, lemme fuck you..! Wanna fuck you..!'

The vulgarity of his desperation made him blush but brought him dangerously close to the edge, squeezing the base of his cock Satoru covered his mouth instinctively, he bucked up his hips as his cum coated his abdomen, stomach and some droplets even reached his chest. He moaned behind his hand as he felt the waves of pleasure shock through his body. He slowed his hips, mumbling for the imaginary you once more. "Take it, take it all, baby.."

He didn't want to move, he knew he had to but he wanted to relish in his fantasy a little longer, he wanted to pull you close and sloppily kiss your cute glossy lips and praise you for being a good girl, taking his load like that. He imagined his cum oozing from your slit but he wouldn't let it go to waste, he'd use his finger to slide it back in where he knows it belongs.

He remembered to save those photos for.. 'next time', reaching over to get his phone, he paused as he received a notification.

(Name)💘: party was lame, coming 2 ur place!! >:3c

Sitting up, the sweat that collected at his back from his 'session' cooled him off, he cleaned himself up and couldn't help but grin at your adorable message.

You don't need to worry, he'll entertain you more than any dumb party could.

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family B-Side (3)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three (you're here!) Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two (on the way!) Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

Did I already post today? Yes. Did I also post two chapters of Modern Steve in 80s Hawkins today? Yes. I am just incredibly productive today, who knows when it's gonna happen again lol

Anyway, finally! The next B-Side! This bitch has been stewing my guys, so I hope you enjoy it lol

There are two memes at the very end of this one, so definitely stick around

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't 😘

--------

For four weeks, Eddie feels himself losing his mind. He finds gifts in his locker every other day, and he's convinced they're from Steve Harrington. He now has a taxidermied bat, a fancy-looking vial with a skull and crossbones embossed in the glass and filled with mysterious liquid, an actual human skull that Eddie immediately incorporates into his next campaign, and a spider. An actual spider. A live spider that, after a little research, he learns is a fucking Black Widow that seems unnaturally friendly.

Eddie can't stress that part enough. Multiple people have mistaken the spider for an intricate vest patch because it just sits perfectly still over his chest pocket. It only moves to rub its head against Eddie's fingers whenever his hand passes over it, and even then it's careful to avoid hurting him with its pincers.

He names her Nox.

Those aren't the only gifts he's received, but they're the most notable, and Eddie is overwhelmed and flustered by the positive attention he's suddenly receiving.

The other thing driving him crazy is Pubert Addams, a guy Eddie had never paid much attention to before but now considers his mortal enemy. He's convinced Pubert is, at worst, potentially abusive or, at best, delusional and taking advantage of Steve's kindness and inability to brutally turn him down. Or maybe Eddie is the crazy one; he doesn't actually know. Whichever it is, Eddie is ready to take the very nice dagger he now has (gift number 15; yes, Eddie has been counting) and stab him with it.

Because he can't get more than two minutes alone with Steve before Pubert appears out of nowhere. Eddie runs into Steve in the hall while everyone else is in class? Pubert shows up with a hall pass two seconds later and literally waltzes Steve away from him. Eddie finds Steve camped out in the library during study hall? Pubert materializes in the chair next to Steve before Eddie can sit down, leaning far too close as he asks Steve to explain something from their shared Gothic Literature class. Eddie, by some miracle, is behind Steve in the lunch line (and he calls this a miracle because Steve always brings his lunch in a pink box with black skulls, which Eddie considers incredibly brave of him to carry around like it's nothing)? Before Eddie can do more than say hi and get a blinding smile in return, Pubert fucking Addams shows up and drags Steve away while promising to share his lunch.

Eddie is just about to lose the last shred of patience he's struggling to maintain when Steve finds him. Ironically, it's the same bathroom where they first talked, the one with mysterious mold growing in the corner that Eddie is convinced is some new species. It's the only bathroom with a busted smoke detector, and Eddie goes there to get high during his free period.

He's halfway through a joint, smoke curling around him as he sits on the sink counter and tries not to think about what else has been there, when the door swings open, Steve walks in, and Eddie chokes on his inhale.

"Don't die like this," Steve says, stepping closer and patting Eddie's back like they know each other, "It's no fun."

Eddie finally gets himself under control, taking a deep breath and wincing at the way his lungs burn. "No worries," he croaks out, regretting the departure of Steve's hand on his back. "What are you doing here? Please don't tell me you plan to use this bathroom."

"As curious as I am about the bacteria teeming on these toilet seats, no." Steve sounds genuine, like he really does want to swab the toilet seats and see what grows. Instead, he places his bag on the sink and pulls out a familiar vial with a familiar skull and crossbones. "I just came to drink."

"Oh?" Eddie says, leaning forward with a grin. He looks Steve up and down, taking in the pale blue sweater vest and immaculately pressed jeans. "You don't look the drinking type, Stevie."

Steve hums, popping the cork out of the vial and taking a swig from it. "This isn't exactly hard stuff," he says after he swallows, distracted enough that Eddie thinks he misses his eyes lingering on Steve's throat as it bobs.

"Just beer then?"

"What?" Steve asks, looking at Eddie like he's delusional. "No, it's cyanide and vinegar."

He says it with such conviction that Eddie believes him despite knowing cyanide is poison. "Metal," he says, looking away to take another drag of his joint as he struggles to break through his own awkwardness and hold a conversation that will somehow sweep Steve off his feet and make him forget all about Pubert Addams.

Before he can think of something clever and smooth and funny, Steve leans close and raises a hand to his chest. Eddie is about to warn him that Nox is, in fact, real when the spider scuttles onto Steve's fingers and settles in his palm. She does a little up-and-down motion, circles in his hand twice, and rubs her head against his wrist. "You've been taking good care of her," Steve says.

"Uh, yeah. How is she not biting you right now?" Eddie asks, remembering all the times Nox has warningly snapped at others who tried to touch her.

Steve snorts and allows Nox to return to her spot on Eddie's vest. "I raised her," he says, his tone casual like he isn't admitting to showering Eddie with inexplicable gifts for the past four weeks, "of course, she won't bite me."

"So, it has been you," Eddie replies, wanting to hear it from Steve himself.

With a soft hum, Steve takes another sip from his bottle. "Who else would it have been?"

Eddie licks his lips, takes another drag of his joint to brace himself, and hops off the counter. "So, uh, does that mean you li--"

Before the rest of the question can be asked, the bathroom door swings open again, and Eddie feels his eye twitch as Pubert Addams frowns at them. "So, this is where you were," he says, walking over to Steve and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"I told you I was going to the bathroom," Steve says, rolling his eyes as he stuffs the vial back into his bag.

Pubert looks Eddie over, a derisive huff escaping him as he dismisses Eddie and looks at Steve. "On the other side of the school? Really?" he asks, and Eddie would be overthinking what that means if he weren't sure his veins were about to burst.

"We were talking, you know," Eddie says, gaining Pubert's attention again. Steve looks at him, too, his eyes a little brighter.

"I'm sure," Pubert replies, rolling his eyes as he takes Steve's bag. "And now we're leaving." With that, he leads Steve out of the bathroom, the door swinging shut before Steve can do more than smile apologetically and wave.

Anger surges through Eddie, and the shaky drag he takes to finish off his joint does absolutely nothing to soothe it.

He's going to kill Pubert Addams.

--------

Funnily enough, Steve's mother doesn't learn about his crush until he's five weeks into it. When Debbie finally does discover the crush, it's because she walks in on Fester and Steve decorating homemade cookies shaped like anatomically correct hearts. She pauses in the doorway, looking between the two covered in flour and raspberry jam, and asks, "What on earth is going on here?"

Steve looks up, sees this as his chance to finally tell Debbie, and smiles brightly at her. "I'm in love, Mother. He's allergic to raspberry, and Father agreed to help me make him cookies with raspberry filling, so he can feel the same breathlessness I do when I see him," he explains, using his thumb to wipe raspberry jam off his cheek.

Debbie stares at him for a few seconds before looking at Fester. "How long have you known?" she asks.

"Five weeks," Fester admits, looking apologetic. "I wanted to tell you, Pumpkin! But Steve asked me not to so he could tell you himself."

She sighs and walks over to the island, sitting on the edge of a stool and taking one of the cookies for herself. She bites off a pulmonary vein, looking thoughtful as she chews. "I must admit, these are damn good cookies," she finally says, taking one more bite before passing it to Fester to finish. "Tell me about him."

And Steve does. He gushes about Eddie for a solid hour without taking a single breath, spilling everything he's seen Eddie do and how he's reacted to all of Steve's gifts and how he gets so obviously jealous when Pubert butts into their conversations. He tells Debbie about Eddie not screaming when he saw Nox, about him selling drugs, and about his interest in music. Steve laments his hair but eagerly describes the treatment routine he already has in mind.

By the time he's done, the cookies are decorated and his mother's expression has grown a little pained. "Steve, darling, come with me," she says, getting up from the chair and leading him out of the kitchen while Fester starts to clean up.

Steve waits until Debbie has brought him to her spare room to ask, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Well, did you remember my rules about crushes?"

"Yeah. I've talked to him a lot."

Debbie smiles and brings Steve over to the bed, sitting him down and straightening his hair before perching next to him. "Then, you're not in trouble, but you've been going about this all wrong, dear."

"Should I tell Pubert to stop making Eddie jealous?"

"Absolutely not," Debbie says, shaking her head firmly. "In fact, he could try harder. Nothing gets to a man like someone he can't have, especially if he thinks they're in distress."

Steve blinks, frowning slightly as he tries to figure out where, exactly, he's gone wrong. Eddie seems perfectly enamored with him, after all, and Pubert's goading is encouraging his affections, which is the only reason Steve has allowed it to continue. "Did I give him a live spider too soon?" Steve asks, figuring that's the problem here.

"No, that's not...," Debbie trails off, mutters something about Fester being an idiot, and clears her throat. "Steve, your father is the last person you should approach for love advice."

"But...you agreed to marry him, so he must have done something right," Steve says.

Debbie barks a laugh, waving her hand dismissively. "I married your father for his money. I attempted to kill his entire family and only stopped when he promised to give me everything I asked for. I would hardly call him a casanova."

Steve nods along, smiling a little as she speaks. He's heard their great love affair many times, but he doesn't get tired of it. "But you actually love him anyway, right? Father says it's because he showered you with gifts. So, that's what I'm doing."

"I...do love your father," Debbie admits, sighing as though she doesn't know how that happened either. "But it's less because of his gifts and more because...he gave me the devotion I wanted. Anyway, if you learn anything from us, it should be that love comes second."

"What comes first?"

Debbie smiles, the expression positively devious, and Steve can't help returning it. "Obsession," she says, her shoulders rolling back some as pride fills her. "Occupy his every waking thought. Make yourself irresistible. Make him dream of you at night. Overwhelm him with desire until he simply must act on it."

"Oh," Steve says, thinking of how his father acts around Debbie and realizing that obsession never quite went away. But it's worked out well for them, and he knows his mother has experience with luring men into her arms. He nods once and asks, "So, what should I do?"

"I'm so glad you asked," Debbie says, her smile bright and her eyes filled with excitement. "You'll have Eddie falling to his knees before you in no time."

--------

Eddie didn't think it could get worse. He was already attracted to Steve, already distracted by every little movement.

He was wrong. So incredibly wrong.

Because here he is, his mouth dry and his palms sweaty and his cheeks warm because of Steve. He's not even doing anything. Well, that's not true. Steve is curling his tongue around a lollipop before sucking it into his mouth like he'll die without it. But it's more than that. It's the painted-on jeans that hug his legs; it's the pastel pink hoodie (with little bats on the cuffs) that rides up whenever Steve moves to show off a strip of skin just above his waistband; it's the way he finishes the lollipop and pulls out lipgloss, casually telling Pubert it's raspberry flavored as he puts it on.

Eddie swallows around the dryness in his mouth, gripping his locker door so tight that his knuckles turn white as he looks inside it. Sitting innocently on top of everything is a Tupperware container of cookies with raspberry filling (according to the label), and Eddie is ready to eat one just so he can die knowing what Steve's lips taste like.

That's not even the worst of it. The worst is that Steve transfers into Eddie's Music Theory class, smiling innocently while the teacher introduces him and then directs him to sit at the empty desk next to Eddie. When he's close, Eddie realizes Steve smells like cookies and cream ice cream, and he's tempted to ask if Steve smells like his favorite flavor on purpose.

The teacher saves him from the embarrassment of blurting out the question by announcing a project. The teacher then dooms him by telling everyone they're required to work with their desk neighbor. Eddie grips his pen tightly when the teacher tells them to spend the rest of their class time discussing the project.

"So," Steve says, getting Eddie's attention. When he looks over, Steve is leaning forward on his desk, chin propped in his hand as he looks at Eddie. "Want to come over to my place after school? To work on the project, I mean."

Eddie stares at Steve for a few seconds, his tongue stuck in his throat. To his credit, Steve doesn't say anything or call Eddie out for staring at him. He just waits patiently with a little smile curling his lips. Eddie finally clears his throat, his voice coming out a little strained when he says, "Yeah, sure, sounds good. After school. Your place. Project."

Smooth. Real smooth.

When Steve just smiles wider and stretches his arms above his head, pulling his hoodie up, while suggesting they do the project on the evolution of heavy metal music, Eddie realizes he's probably going to die after school.

He can't wait.

-------

Tag List (I think there's still room for a few more people ^_^)

@estrellami-1, @itsall-taken, @mugloversonly, @fandomcartographer, @hippielittlemetalhead, @agree2disagre-kicks, @ledleaf, @just-a-tiny-void, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @ink1177, @maya-custodios-dionach, @littlebluejane, @steddieonbigboy, @ravenpainter, @read-write-thrive, @deadontheinside20, @yeahhhh-suga, @nectandra, @mogami13, @mx-jinxous, @thoughtfulbreadpolice, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @xoxoladyclara

@zaddipax, @dycte, @breealtair, @geekymagicalpotato, @janea-grill, @juliasthename-adhdismygame, @yikes-a-bee, @wayward-people, @st-fics, @disrespectedgoatman, @bipusssy, @cottagecorebutnaturescaresme, @nightowl14028018, @that-binchh, @your-confused-friend, @irethsune, @goosesister, @strawberryyyenthusiast, @irregular-child, @theverywest

And, finally, a two-for-one meme special because I couldn't decide which was funnier:

[pedge-page]

i love your preggo wife drabbles soo much!!! could you write one where joel takes care of reader with her morning sickness? 🫶🏻

Joel dealing with Preggo Reader: Morning Sickness

Notes: Idk why I keep making reader so mean but he's such a trooper! I'm also no pregnancy expert obviously so plz take my minimal effort in research with a grain of salt.

Warnings: mean reader, language, vomitting, morning sickness

- - - -

"I hate your penis."

Joel rolls his eyes. It's only the 11th time you've said it today while being hunched over the toilet, with Joel caringly hovering over you, holding your hair out of the way as you take a deep breath and hurl the breakfast he made you this morning.

"I hate—"

"I know, sweet pea. Just breathe."

You nod in an almost drunken state. He knows its because you've got no energy in you to really fight him, with the baby giving you all the first batch of hell in the life long journey of headaches in child bearing.

He rubs over your spin, caressing the shivers raking over your body so you can focus on not dying right now.

"I hate your toes. I hate your shampoo. I hate your fingernails. I hate your toast.  I hate—"

"Ah huh..."

At first he was pretty upset and angered by how much you loath him, but at some point he's tuned it out and just holds and shushes you. While you pout your disdain for the man, you don't oppose his touch.

For now.

"Doin' so good, baby. It's only temporary, baby's just making sure you're a tough momma—"

"Shut the fuck up and get me some water."

Joel stands, his knees reminding him of his less than youthful age, before running downstairs and grabbing a bottle.

You were both a little surprised that all the morning sickness you were warned about hadn't really given either of you trouble in your first trimester. It came with a surprise by the middle of your second, and comes and goes on a daily basis. Today is honestly not so bad: it's your attitude shift that really gives him whiplash.

By the time he gets back up, you're already meandering out of the bathroom like a lost soul with puffy, sleep deprived eyes, and over to the bed, slowly crawling over the mattress, muttering "too tall". You feel his hand supportively on your back, but you snap "fuck off" and get in the bed yourself. He goes to tuck you in with the sheet, but again your hand slaps his away and you close your eyes into darkness.

You can still feel his annoying presence. "What!" You yell, eyes shooting open to see the bottle dangling from his hand. You snatch it without a thank you and gulp.

Joel's just got his hands on his hips, staring at you.

"Kern I hEp ouu, Hondah?" You gurgle through your water sloshing in your mouth.

He just chuckles to himself. "You're cute like this."

You swallow. "I'll fuck you the fuck up."

He laughs even harder, seemingly unserious in your threats. To him, you looked even smaller than before, despite the obvious roundness growing in your tum tum. You seemed like some small puppy finding her growl, or toddler pointing her finger trying to be intimidating but unaware of how badly you're failing.

"So amusing? Why dont you make yourself useful and rub my feet," you demand.

"You need to eat food, baby girl."

"BaBy GiRl" you mock with puppet hand mouth. "NAG nag NAG. I Don't WANT food. I want my FOOT. In your HAND. before I put it up your ASS."

Joel can tolerate the baby cock-blocking him for a few weeks and the endless assult of your words, but he puts his foot down when your basic needs arent being met. "I need you to eat food. You need energy. Baby needs energy."

"Fine! Crackers, you crackhead. Then—" and you thrust your leg in the hair and wiggle your foot in his face so he gets the picture.

"Okay okay!" And he walks out the bedroom.

Joel spends a record 4 minutes downstairs hurriedly putting together a fancy array of cracker options, from Saltines, to Townhouse, to Ritz. He also pops a few cubes of diced ham in his mouth and then holds a few in his hand to snack on later since he too had to abandon breakfast to service you.

By the time you're conplaining "it's been hours!" He's trotting up the stairs, you wiggle your bum so you sit upright in bed, hand over gurgling belly as he brings the tray to you.

Just as youre about to feast on these dry ass cardboard squares, your nose twitches. You see Joel chewing something in his grasp, popping one cube of pale meat quickly into his mouth, and it takes all of 2 seconds for the smell to travel to your brain before you're throwing the tray on the ground, crackers spilling all over the carpet and b lining to the bathroom again to throw up.

As he hears your dramatic gasps and hurls, Joel pulls out his little note pad he's been documenting your pregnancy so far. He writes "no ham" in the lines , right under "hates my penis", before tossing the paper on the bed and stroking your hair lovingly again as you empty your entire organs in the toilet.

By the time you finish, you've got snot and tears running down your face. "but I LOVED HAAAMMMMM" You screech.

It's true. You used to wrap a thick spread of cold butter on a slice of cheap deli ham and eatnit like a cannoli— something he thought was a weird aquired taste BEFORE he even got you pregnant.

Joel grabs a tissue and plants it firmly in your face, and you squeeze your eyes tight and blow right into his palm like a little snot nosed trumpet. He rubs his fingers in your nostrils to get all the boogers out before tossing it and helping you up to your feet again.

All the while you're bawling "l-l-loved—my hh-ham—n cheese" with gross babbling as he tucks you back in the duvet. You were fine with giving up other aversions like tomatoes, pizza crust, and yogurt. Even sex (occasionally). But your beloved ham is one baby step too far.

"Your—"sniffle— "big—"hiccup—"ugly—"choke—"WORM —" cough—"DID THIS TO MEEE," you accuse his crotch and wail into the air.

Then you hiccup very loudly and go quiet entirely.

You look around with curious eyes, fresh tears suddenly unbothering you at the moment.

"Mmmmmmmn crackers," you moan. "Gimme that one," and you point to the mess on the floor.

"What one?"

"That one!"

He bends down and picks up a piece.

But you shake your head. "No that one."

"No." "No the other." "No."

"Which one!" He shouts, unable to contain the lace of frustration.

"The one I'm pointing to, stupid!"

He finally picks up one hes pointed to 3 times already and you clap your hands.

You snatch it out of his grasp, pull a hair off its curved cracked edge before munching on it happily.

He looks at with uncertainty on his face.

You swallow the dry mushed bits and hum contently. "Mmm. Salty."

-

Not even 12 hours later  you two are getting ready for bed, and you mood has completely changed. Still sick, but instead of being unable to stand Joel's entire existence, you praise it.

"Joel, honey? Can you please prop my feet up Under this pillow. I'm sorry. I just can't seem to reach it myself."

"Baby? I'm a little thirsty. Can you get me some water?"

"Im so sorry, Joel. I just can't stomach this food, I know you put so much effort into it. Ugh! I loved this, I really did! I don't know what's wrong with me."

You rub over the discomfort in your slightly swollen tummy and try to be a brave girl and fight the tears, as Joel's been so attentive to your needs, aches, cries and cravings, only to hurl them back up.

You sniffle and look up to him.

He's a bit tense, almost in a fight or flight stance with fear behind his eyes.

"W-whats wrong, Joel?" you ask with a honey song voice.

"Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

- - - -

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