spectacularsarah

[spectacularsarah]

me at 1 pm: borderline comatose, eyes need to be propped open, behaviorally indistinguishable from lichen

me at 1 am: planning an expedition to neptune, listening to three songs at once, blood has become liquid copper

[spectacularsarah]

Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.

[spectacularsarah]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[spectacularsarah]

[spectacularsarah]

Virtue requires a delicate balance. 

[spectacularsarah]

[spectacularsarah]

is there a psychological theory to explain why I dress super femme in the summer (lots of long, floral skirts and dresses) and decidedly more masculine in the winter (big double breasted coats, dress pants, lots of black and leather boots, collared shirts and oversized sweaters)

[spectacularsarah]

How do I explain to my family that Brie Larson can hip thrust 400lbs without making it sound like the gayest fact I’ve ever learnt

[spectacularsarah]

night shift induced existential gratefulness

I’m at a stage now where I’m mentoring high school students who wanna go into medicine and I just want to remind you, dear reader, that I’ve had this blog since I was 14 years old and this is astounding to me

my doctorate is....happening. Very slowly and not at all the way I think it should, but I did convince my advisor of something I wanted to do and he thinks it’s a good element in my study design!

I no longer spiral out of control when an early-stage resident I don’t know ribs me or disagrees with my career plans....like, dude, thanks for your input but you don’t know me - relax

for some reason my cumulative experience in the past two months has convinced me that anesthesia is well and good and I’m enjoying doing my doctorate there and it’s interesting, but IM is where I belong

I just have that nerdy, do-gooder IM personality - I’m not chill enough for anesthesia on a, like, molecular level

I miss my favorite ER resident so much - I wish someone funny and nice and that much smarter than me would always be following me around, doling out advice and teaching me stuff and making fun of me when I’m dithering too much

[spectacularsarah]

on the validity of recognizing emotions

[spectacularsarah]

Grace J on Instagram

Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram

[spectacularsarah]

douglas adams is literally the anti-lovecraft. seriously, look at the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. it’s not cosmic horror, it’s cosmic comedy.

lovecraft: you’re surrounded by strange things that you do not understand. isn’t it terrifying? adams: those things? those are normal. the worst thing about them is the bureaucracy. you should get out more. you can read all about them in this gigantic book.

lovecraft: you are ultimately insignificant and the universe will be unaffected by any actions you take. isn’t it scary? adams: um duuuh literally everyone already knew that. let’s go get lunch.

lovecraft: you are transforming into a terrible monster and you can’t stop it. adams:

[spectacularsarah]

Majestic fog in Cambridge, United Kingdom by Stefanos

[spectacularsarah]

weird little girls are literally the most powerful creative beings on the planet like i promise you no art made by an adult man can even begin to touch the plotlines of an elementary school girl’s pretend game

[spectacularsarah]

sometimes I get so angry thinking about ‘The Imitation Game’ that I have to go in a little ‘upset big tantrum room’ in my head for a calm down

like, Benisnatch Cumberque played the same character he’s always plays as an asshole genius and we were all supposed to be okay with it, but it’s basically character slander

at different parts of the movie Turing is described as ‘arrogant, “inhuman,” “narcissistic,” and even “a monster,” in the film he goes against those around him and is shown to periodically ignore and belittle his colleagues

And. I. Am. So. Angry.

Alan Turing was described by his friends and people that knew him as “intensely shy and kindly”, he was said to “inspire loyalty and affection among those who appreciated his unusual gifts” and was “unfailingly generous with his time and expertise, especially toward younger recruits”

He was kind, he was kind, HE WAS KIND, he was kind

he was kind and geeky and awkward and gay, I don’t care if the whole of society doesn’t find that compelling, I don’t care if we don’t value kindness as an attribute in men, he deserved to be loved and respected as he was, not as we wish he was

I am so sorry Alan Turing, I am so sorry your story was not told with care and thoughtfulness, I am so sorry you didn’t get to be shown to be deeply in love with the men you loved, I am sorry your great and terrible tragedy was never unfolded as a kind and brilliant man abused by a horrible homophobic system

You are a hero that turned the tides of history like no other and I am so sorry

[spectacularsarah]

Noah fence but the story of a low/no empathy person trying to do the right thing and make the right choices is way more interesting and realistic than a low/no empathy person as a camp villain.