#plus trying to figure helena out XD

[blackjackkent]

The city is really starting to look pretty rough. Bodies, blood, and debris litter the streets, and the air echoes with the shrieks of demons and the screams of the dying. Helena is finding it harder and harder to keep a grim expression off her face, in spite of her usual determined good humor; part of her is wondering what the hell is going on back in her usual neighborhood, and if her friends are okay. But there's no time to focus on that now.

"So if we do catch Solas," she says, talking automatically to cover the worry (not fear, not fear) and muffle the sound of her city shaking apart. "Or the Dread Wolf, or whatever he calls himself... what's the plan?"

"He wants to bring down the Veil," Varric says. "Hopefully that ritual takes his full attention."

"So we catch him while he's doing his ritual, so he can't fight us?" Helena asks, a tad skeptically.

"That's the hope," Varric says. "If it comes to a straight-up fight, we're dead."

Lovely.

The route Our Lady of Victory starts with a zipline down into the canals.

Wheee!

("I'm getting too old for this," grouses Varric from behind her. Hee.)

"There," says Neve, pointing at an enormous structure with a lot of bodies littered around it. "That's the building I tracked Solas to."

"Looks like the Venatori also found it," puts in Harding. "And then demons found them."

More combat! Ranged weaponry tutorial this time; Helena can shoot quickfire or hold for an aimed shot. And no ammo to track, thankfully!

Neve, because she is a badass, clears the magical barrier blocking us from inside the building.

Inside is rising ground of damp, battered stone and abandoned stairs, a few lit torches leaning against the wall.

"So this is the Dread Wolf's hideout?" Helena says thoughtfully.

"One of them, at least," Varric says. "Not sure how long he's been here."

Helena scuffs her boot one the stone stairs that are worn almost to a smooth ramp. "Some of this looks ancient."

"Solas has been around longer than Minrathous itself," Varric says dryly.

"Broken chains," Neve comments as they enter a larger room past a series of stone tunnels. "Solas was freeing slaves."

Varric grunts. "Solas hates slavery. One of the few things we actually agreed on."

"He said the other elven gods were tyrants who oppressed his people," says Harding. "He was trying to help them."

Complicated fellow, this Solas, Helena thinks. A distaste for slavery is one of the common themes of the Shadow Dragons as well - but she supposes it doesn't absolve him of the whole "trying to end the world" thing. We all contain multitudes, don't we.

-----

Further on, a window opening onto a wide atrium ahead shows a glimmer of almost blinding bright blue magic.

Further down the corridor is a mural painted in discordantly bright colors on the stone wall:

"Ancient elves doing something to... a dragon, I think?" she asks. She's never been much of one for art.

"Yeah. Trying to control it, maybe?" says Neve.

"Solas said the other elven gods were evil," Varric says. "If they were binding dragons, he was right about that much at least."

(A/N: Mildly odd sentiment given that Dom killed quite a number of dragons in DAI, but sure. XD )

And hey, look what's a little further down!

I always really liked this statue and wanted to get it 3D printed as a decoration. Did Solas bring it down here, or was it already here? Interesting.

More candidates for 3D printing are in the next room over behind a locked door:

At the center of this room is an ornate desk with a statue of a tree behind it. Nearby, various magical devices and a lute. The desk is subtly floating in midair. Also interesting.

-----

The room at the lowest point of the catacombs is very, very cold. The floor is covered in water up to Helena's ankles, soaking the chill through her boots.

"This the big glowing window you saw earlier, Rook?" Neve asks.

Helena nods, taking a few cautious steps towards the thing. She's a dwarf, so she has no innate magical talent, but she's lived in a city of mages long enough to know when something is powerful. And this thing... the air around it is almost vibrating, drawn tight like a bowstring.

It's beautiful.

"It's called an eluvian," Harding says. Her voice is a little hushed - although Helena can't tell if it's in reverence or fear. "They're elven, and very old."

"It acts like a doorway from one place to another. Solas uses them to get around quickly," says Varric.

"He must have gone through it," says Harding.

Helena comes to a halt in front of the enormous thing, peering through its ever-shifting surface. She thinks she can almost make out shapes behind it. Grass. Trees? A landscape very unlike the urban milieu of Minrathous.

For a moment she hovers on the threshold. Anticipation sings in every nerve. She suspects there's no going back once she steps forward - but there's nothing else for it. Not if she's going to save her city. Not if they're going to save the world.

She closes her eyes and leaps forward, letting the eluvian swallow her up.

[foxydivaxx]

More Actor Dio headcanons

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide

- Dio went through a painful divorce when Phantom Blood was in the works

- His ex-wife gave him cake as a fake peace offering. Said cake was laced with poison and almost killed Dio. She got imprisoned for that

- That incident scarred Dio and made him swear off love and women. He still shot the rest of his scenes but after that, he straight up went on hiatus.

- He did not do promotion rounds due to his crippling mental health at the time

- He tried committing suicide by shooting himself in the head and was rushed to hospital for treatment. The irony is that this is exactly what happens to Eren Jaeger years later

- Jonathan halted his plans and he and his brothers did all they could just to make sure Dio was alive. Dio owes a debt to Jonathanand always thanks him

- Jonathan calls Dio Baby bro in real life because he behaves that way towards him

- Dio survives thankfully but is a complete mess. Jonathan gets him a therapist and that helped him heal from the trauma

- The fans send gifts to his family for him, a gesture that he was first paranoid about but soon accepts

- His kids visited him every day. They were all in tears because they love their dad so much and hate to see him get hurt

- Dario and Diego always remind him that he is loved and Helena makes sure that her son eats

- Once Dio is released from hospital, he learns to start loving and taking better care of himself.

- It is around this time that he begins to work out relentlessly and the now sexy DIO body is born

- Dio actually used to believe that he was not attractive or sexy thanks to his evil ex-wife. Now he knows better.

- He creates an Instagram account and begins to show off his body. Everyone’s jaws dropped because no one expected Dio to be that hot. Jonathan comments that he loves his newfound confidence whilst Jotaro admits that he envies Dio, especially with that sexy ass. Dio just laughs

- Jonathan then announces a dual Jojo project and immediately asks Dio if he wants to return. Dio immediately says yes.

- Jonathan then asks Dio to come over to his house and it was there that he meets Kars

- Many agree that his relationship with Kars is a blessing because Dio is much happier and healthier nowadays

-When he and Jonathan spoke privately about Stardust Crusaders, some of the things we see with his character like the shirtless scenes and flamboyance came from Dio himself. Since he has a hot body, he figured that now would be perfect timing to show it off. He basically recalled his model years and put it to good practice. The other reason is to tease Kars xD

- He loved working with Jotaro a lot because he is fun personified

- Jotaro keeps on asking Dio for dating advice because he is trying to ditch the playboy lifestyle

- Dio grew out his hair and prefers it that way

- He always chases after Jotaro because that boy is mischievous xD

- Jotaro always pranks Dio out of love

- Dio’s sexy catwalk is a shoutout to his model years

- He became Calvin Klein’s brand ambassador and the sexy shoot got loads of attention for putting Dio’s body on display

- Dio’s nickname on-set: Greek God because of his looks and hot body. The media and fans have started calling him that plus Adonis

- Dio often touches himself and that was how he got Kars to fuck him for the first time

- Animal motifs: cats. Dio is often compared to a cat because of how adorable he is

- His iconic Dio voice is how he talks normally but the character has a more sinister, malevolent, sensual and terrifying vibe

- His fave scene: His final battle with Jotaro especially the iconic Road Roller scene. He laughed when he saw that in the script and questioned Jonathan’s sanity

- He is outspoken about mental health

- He acts tsundere around Jotaro but he cares about him

[inactivefandomblog]

Things I noticed when I re watched Birds of prey last night

Hi all, I watched BOP for the second time last night and I wanted to write down some of the things I noticed as I had seen @wordsoflittlewisdom​ , Idea credit goes to them on this one. I’m aware that some of these things are not exactly new discoveries and were blatantly obvious to others, but I have ADHD and a processing delay meaning that I don't always take in all the information the first time I watch a film. For example, I had no idea Renee was gay for ages, even though they tell us she had an ex girlfriend (I think I was too busy fan Girling that Ali Wong was in the film then though to hear that bit). I have to focus more on the overall plot when I watch things the first time, but the second time I was able to scan for little details and take in more things. Without further ado, here’s what I noticed.

“Do you know what a harlequin is? A harlequin's role is to serve. It's nothing without a master. No one gives two shits who we are, beyond that.”

-When Harley is talking about Harlequinns serving  their master, she is not just talking about her relationship with the Joker, but about Canary letting Roman be her master. She is saying that she felt like she was nothing without the Joker. She is also implying that Dinah feels the same about Roman, and that she shouldn't because he doesn’t actually care about her like the Joker didn’t care about her.

-THATS WHY SHE ONLY HAS ONE SHOE IN THE CHASE SCENE!!!!!  SHE USED IT TO PIN DOWN THE ACCELERATOR IN THE TRUCKKKKKK!!! MYSETERY SOLVED!! ...  though.. she didn’t change her shoes to a full set between then and the police chase the next day/ later on the same day. Meaning she didn't go home after that...so did she just like wander around Gotham after committing a huge crime obviously tide to her XD of course she did, she’s Harley Fucking Quinn! Either that or she passed out somewhere from being very very drunk, hopefully her apartment and not just a street or something.

-BONUS:  fanfic idea: DRUNK HARLEY HAS A FUNERAL FOR HER SHOE THAT GOT BLOWN UP IN THE ACE CHEMICALS EXPLSION, WITH BRUCE AND THE BEAVER. after she leaves the crime scene. That just seems like a thing drunk Harley would do, as I imagine she loved those shoes as they were awesome..so were her sequin socks.

-The first time I watched it I didn't realise that the fireworks weren’t actually there - because that was all in Harley's head and the film is from her pov - even though we are showed that when the police arrive there are none and it's just a regular explosion. Not until I was told this was the case and realised we were literally shown this later on.

-She goes from being a Harlequinn to Harley Quinn as she becomes emancipated.

-Roman just lets Zsas grab his arms and restrain him when he’s mad, switch energy much.....also they are defo gay for each other. Zsas was acting like a jealous boyfriend when he gave Dinah even an ounce of attention. He legit told her to come back later when he just started massaging Roman’s shoulders. Roman let's Zsas rub his shoulders and comfort him, Zsas wants to protect Roman...need I go on.

- Cass’ parents are yelling about how they don't want her if you listen to what they are saying, so they’re not just fighting, they’re fighting because they wish they never adopted her. She can hear them saying all this too. This made me feel even more sad for Cass than when I thought her parents were toxic to each other in my first watch through.

- (Trigger warning: mention of domestic abuse and child abuse)

.

.

Cass’ parents didn't want her and seemed to be very hostile, its not mentioned how Cass got her cast...but I realised that it could suggest that her parents broke her arm. Which would go on to suggest that they were abusing her physically as well as emotionally. Hence why she didn’t trust people, and was so hurt when Harley betrayed her. Because when she says that she though Harley was different, she meant that she thought she could trust Harley and that Harley wouldn’t hurt her.

-Margot’s real accent comes through when she tells Canary ‘I haven't told that to anyone’ when telling her she Broke up with Joker, as well as a few other times throughout the film.

-Cassandra is quiet and not talkative in her first scene because her throat was hurting because of the diamond. That's why she coughed to try and clear it . At that point in the film we hadn’t been shown that  part but it was set after it happened so it makes sense when you re watch it.

-Cassandra’s jacket has a little middle finger logo on it, which I thought really suited her character.

- Cass has ‘asshole’ written on her cast, a drawing of a gun the word ‘fuck’, the word ‘magic’  - which is probably a reference at how she does some stuff that is similar to closeup magic and uses the same magicians technique of the art of misdirection - she also has what appears to be two playing cards, one with hearts  and one with diamonds. Which is most probably a reference to Harley Quinn’s whole  hearts and diamonds thing she has going. Didn’t comic book Harley also have a link to those specific playing cards too? or something like that?

EDIT: THEY ARE PLAYING CARDS!! I GOT A BETTER LOOK AT THE CAST IN THE COSTUMES VIDEO.

- TW: mentions of abuse and child abuse and trauma

The whole diamonds are a girls best friend is Harley going somewhere else mentally to cope with the trauma of being abused  - we see her being spanked by a nun when was younger suggesting she was abused then too, and I think it is a part of her comic book story  that she was but I don't know for sure - when it flashes and Guns appear that's reality trying to seep in. She's trying to focus on the diamond and block everything else out

-I spotted what looks like a mini mallet on the wall in her kitchen that could potentially be a meat tenderiser, and if that is the case then that is  a fantabulous little Easter egg type thingy. The handle looks too long to be a pot, it has a diamond pattern on it and it is next to another tool for preparing meat...so now I'm just waiting on Margot Robbie,Cathy Yan or Ella Jay Basco to Reply to my tweet and confirm it.

-Helena speaking Chinese makes me laugh for some reason, I think its her facial expression. 

- Kid  Helena’s crayons when she's drawing the revenge pic are all perfectly spaced and placed like her stuff in her bathroom scene. Further evidence of her perfectionism/ her liking things a specific way.

- The towel in Helena’s hotel room  on the bed (seen in mirror reflection) is in the shape of a little person.

- Canary sheds a tear when Roman harasses the lady on the table, I didn't notice that before because I looked away as the scene made me really uneasy.

- Harley screws the cap on the nail polish before putting it down even though there's someone at the door after them. This made me laugh because she thinks the police is after her but still takes time to do this, which is such a Harley thing. Like when she bent down to pick up the penny when that guy was gonna kill her.

- Roman has a shirt with his face printed on it.They did a good job of using the costumes and sets to show his egomaniacal trait.

- The look of acceptance of Harley's face when she realises that no one cares about, after the last person she thought cared about her (Doc) betrayed her, is heart-breaking. 

-How was Renee not injured from getting launched out the window? Even if she didn't fall all the way to the ground and landed on the top of the entrance bit, she’d still be injured.

-WHERE DOES HUNTRESSS STORE ALLL THOSE ARROWWWSSSSS????? SHE FIRED SO MMAANNNNYYY! I DIDN’T SEE A QUIIIIVVVER OR ANYTHING. I guess she just stores them in sub space along with her hammer¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-Also I think I figured out what the chain is  for, at first I thought it was for the crossbow to attach to. Then I though not as she leaves the crossbow on the floor by itself in the funhouse fight scene, but then I think I saw it attached to it..so I think she can just disconnect it when need be. Plus it just looks cool.

-Alllssoo, she toooottallly checked out Dinah! HELENA IS DEFO GAYYYY! she has big useless lesbian vibes. They really knew who their target audience was when they made Helena look so stunning and badass. The producers really said ‘hello LGBTQ+ community’ (hopefully y’all know that tiktok audio or that wont make much sense) Also, if you don't believe me, I have a gif of her doing it on my blog. So there’s no denying it.

-Why were the lights on in the funhouse if it was  abandoned?? Maybe its just more Harley vision? but the carousel was rotating too...

Anyway that's everything I noticed, thanks for reading if you made it this far, and even if you didn’t...you wont see this then but still. Thank y’all .

[moonflower-31]

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer x Reader

Masterlist

Part 23 

Pairing: Spencer x Reader 

A/N: So... Long time no talk? Sorry guys. Depression sucks and so does life. What can ya do. But I hope this is good. My school just went on lockdown for 2 weeks so i should be able to get back into the swing of things. No guarantees btw. But please enjoy this part. I think it’s pretty good for someone who hasn’t written for two weeks. XD 

Warnings: A lot of shouting, cursing, name-calling, self-doubt (obviously), and slightly panic attack (I’ll go more into it in the next part) 

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner, @egg-boy03, @helena-way07, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @serendipity-imagines, @kaelyn-lobrutto24, @thatsonezesty13 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A week later, and you had finally been released from the hospital. Your infection had gotten to a manageable point where you could just take antibiotics and be cured of it in a few more weeks. Spencer had spent the entire time with you, never leaving your side. Except when you had to use the restroom. Obviously. 

"Spence… you gotta shower, seriously. I'm thankful, really, that you stayed with me all week. But you need a shower. Bad." You insist, hobbling slightly as you walk out of the hospital. 

You sigh softly to yourself, closing your eyes tightly for a moment as you waited for Spencer. Trying to hide the ever growing terror that filled your heart was getting increasingly harder to hide. But you didn't have time for therapy or to feel sorry for yourself. The BAU never made your case an active one despite two agents having gone missing and being taken. Which told you well enough that you weren't worth the time. Serial killers deserved more attention than you.  

"Hey, are you okay, (Y/N)?" 

The sudden touch to your shoulder plus the speech coming from Spencer pulled a shriek from your lungs. You jumped and looked toward Spencer terrified for a few agonizingly long moments.  

You took a deep breath and refocused your breathing, hoping to ease your racing heart back to it's slightly less annoying rhythm. 

"Y-yeah…" you murmur, shaking your head in an attempt to clear your mind. You also cleared your throat for good measure. "Yeah, I uh… I'm okay. Just a little… jumpy is all." 

Spencer’s frown deepens on his face, looking towards you sadly. Was this really the time for him to tell you how he felt? No, it really wasn't. You were healing. No, you are healing. You didn't need the confusion of a brand new romantic relationship to be added to your already overflowing plate. 

"Well… I'm here if you need me." Spencer assured, flashing a gentle smile towards you. You sighed and nodded back to hin. 

"Yeah, yeah," you exhaled, looking away from Spencer and not meeting his gaze. "Thanks." 

Spencer could feel the wedge you were unknowingly making grow between you. He hoped he could help you. After Hankel, he had hardly anyone. If he could make a difference in your PTSD, he would. He would try his damndest even if it killed him. 

"Well… I can at least get you back to the apartment. I'm sure Hotch will understand why I'm a few minutes late-" Spencer began, directing you towards the parking lot. He looked back at you and saw a flash of fear run over your (E/C) eyes as you stopped. 

"N-no. No, I need to get back to work. I don't have any vacation days saved up. I gotta go with you to work." You insisted, feeling a heavy stone of fear weigh on your chest. 

Spencer narrowed his eyes and looked over at you, stopping in his tracks. "(Y/N), Hotch gave you vacation days. You don't have to go back right now-" 

"No, Spencer. I'm going back. The team needs me. If I'm alone, Peter’s gonna have a better chance at finding me so-" the tears began falling before you could even realize. You feel your voice crack in your throat and all you knew to do was cover your mouth and try to smother your sobs. 

Spencer’s arms were around you before you could say, his hand rubbing your back while his other cradled your head. He didn't say anything, he just held you. You were thankful he hadn't. It was all you could do to keep your hand over your mouth and the other fisted in Spencer's days old cardigan. 

After what felt like forever, (reality was five minutes) Spencer pulled slightly away and tilted your head up to encourage you to look at him. "W-why don't we just get in the car for now? Figure things out on the way?" Spencer asked. Maybe you could still work. But he would put his foot down personally if you did anything other than desk work. 

You nodded subtly and swallowed what remained of your sobs. Spencer smiled gently and began guiding you towards the parking lot gently, not forcing you to venture any faster than you felt comfortable. 

You found yourself wandering with your eyes across the street, having become more vigilant and observant since your capture. Everything seemed normal. Couples were walking together hand in hand, some with kids. Some business men and women walked with their phones glued to their ears while some people were carrying groceries to their car. It wasn't suspicious at all. It should have calmed you. But it didn't. The only thing you found yourself able to be calm about was the fact that Spencer had his arms around you. That was what made you feel safe.  

Spencer looked towards you, watching you for a few moments. He watched your eyes wandering frantically across the parking lot and put two and two together. Just being in the parking lot scared you. Spencer couldn’t help but relate. The crunch of leaves had been his trigger for a few weeks after his kidnapping. Spencer squeezed you closer and rubbed your shoulder to get your attention. You turn your head back towards him, finding a relieving inhale enter you at the sight of his kind eyes once again looking into yours. “I’ll go pull up the car. You think you can stay here for a few seconds?” He asks. A jolt of regret strikes him as he sees the fear fill your pupils. But you don’t verbalize these fears. Instead you nodded silently.  

Spencer gave you a gentle grin before he went to go bring the car towards you. That way you didn’t have to step foot in the parking lot. He knew he was probably risking a few things, but at least you didn’t have to be fearful of the asphalt. 

You bit your lip anxiously, the hairs on your arms raising in false alarm. You knew you were safe. Your brain knew you were safe. But your heart was in overdrive. It had stolen the control console from your brain and was currently making you an emotional and anxious mess. A part of you didn’t want to go to work. It wanted to take your time to recover. But the rest of you was adamant on going. The case hadn’t been made priority. They were just lucky that no cases were deemed important enough for the BAU to help during the week you and Morgan had been missing. 

You remained lost in your thoughts until you felt the touch of Spencer’s hand on your shoulder. You looked up and gave him a gentle smile. 

“We’re gonna be late if we don’t go now. We have 39 minutes till we are considered late.” Spencer informs, trying not to derail from his normal personality so much that you noticed. He hated being pitied. And he knew that you did as well.

You nodded and began to follow. You climbed into the passenger seat and fastened your seatbelt. Your hands flexed and moved anxiously, unable to sit still. You took a few deep breaths, hearing Spencer get into the car alongside you. 

You finally opened your eyes and felt the car roar to life underneath you. You were heading back to work. You'd get back to normal soon. You had to. 

○●♡●○ 

The both of you had found a comfortable silence in the transport to the BAU. Spencer kept a comforting hand in yours, allowing you to squeeze it when needed. 

But now, as Spencer pulled into his usual parking spot, did your chest begin to tighten somewhat. You hadn't been here for what felt like years. Peter had abducted you from this very parking lot. Anyone would understandably be anxious. 

But by some miracle, you managed to keep your anxieties covert as Spencer and you got out of the car. Of course, Spencer suspected you had a little fear from being back here, but didn't push you. Many statistics had shown in the past that forcing a PTSD victim to share their trauma without it being their terms can be destructive to their mental health. Translation: He wasn't going to ask you about it. 

The ride up the elevator was torturous. Slow, agonizing, and not to mention extremely long. You found yourself fidgeting and moving in place rather than standing still. You'd never done this before. To say it didn't worry you would be a very big lie. 

"Are you sure you're ready, (Y/N)? You can always utilize the time off Hotch gave you." 

You appreciated Spencer’s worry, you really did. It helped to have someone there who was willing to care when you weren't. But that didn't mean that you still didn't get somewhat annoyed over the continuous asking. 

"Yeah, I'm fine Spencer. I just need to get my mind off…" you stopped and pushed a heavy exhale from your chest. "Everything." 

Spencer didn't push, and soon enough the two of you were inside the BAU's glass doors, walking towards the familiar bullpen. You subconsciously fix the cuffs of your dress shirt, avoiding the eyes of everyone who was shocked to see you. 

You sighed softly as you both continued into the bullpen, meeting the eyes of two of your coworkers. 

"(Y/N), What are you doing back so early? You have like, 5 weeks of available off time. You need to rest yourself. And your mind. Trauma isn't something that should be taken lightly." Prentiss spoke, stopping in your tracks to keep you from getting to your desk. 

Spencer, unbeknownst to you, made a cut it out gesture to Emily and cleared his throat. "It's alright. She's only going to be doing reports and desk work." Spencer expressed, looking around at everyone who had decided to turn around a watch. 

Emily sighed. "Alright. But I'm not going to let you go on any cases. I'm still your supervisory agent. You're lucky we're free of the more important cases so we've been working on yours." You feel an icy stab to the chest from her comment, reminding you of how unimportant you felt. You swallowed dryly and nodded, not caring that you hadn't said a word and had let Spencer talk for you. You didn't feel like talking anyway. 

You then sat down at your desk with a sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you felt the familiar breeze that came with a stack of reports falling onto your desk. 

You nodded towards whoever it was that gave you the reports and then started on them. It wasn't long until you had managed to clear all of your feelings from your mind and instead hyperfocus on the reports and the details in each. 

You lost track of so much time, that when Spencer put a cup of coffee on your desk, you jumped and almost verbally cursed. 

"Jesus-" you began, holding your chest for a moment. Spencer’s eyes widened and held his hands up once the coffee was safely level on your desk. 

"S-sorry. I-I just thought you could use a little bit of a 'pick-me-up' or whatever Morgan said it was." He seemed nervous, his hand finding his neck soon after finishing his statement. 

You smile at him genuinely for what feels like the first time in weeks and nod to him. "Yeah… I needed it. Thank you, Spence." 

Spencer’s eyes almost twinkle with happiness at your reply, his cheeks growing red and his smile appearing on his face as he goes back to his desk behind yours. 

Then the moment ended. 

"(L/N)? What are you doing back so early?" 

You turn your head and find Hotch walking towards your desk. You swallow a nervous laugh and instead begin to find a way to reply for yourself. Spencer didn't need to defend you forever. 

"Hotch… I can't stay at home like that. I need to keep my mind focused on something else. I can't sit by when you all still need my help. My case wasn't made of importance. Why should I treat it like it is?" You insist, shoving down the sob that desperately wanted to escape your throat. 

Hotch sighed and began to speak "(Y/N)..." 

"No. Let me speak. I'm not going to sit on my ass at home while you all work on the case that almost got Morgan killed. I'm going to help you. Its here at home. I won't have to go anywhere." Every part of you was begging for Hotch to understand. That he would give you a chance. 

Hotch gave you a questioning look for a few moments, allowing you to finish if you chose to continue, before he spoke up. "Just because you're healed physically doesn't mean you're better mentally. You went through something noone can relate to. You need to take the time to heal." 

"But I'm needed here, Hotch. I'm not going to go home and do nothing. It's just not my style. Now if you'll let me, I have a few more reports to do from this pile." You deadpan, gritting your teeth as you sit back down at your desk to finish reports filled with information you would never forget. 

Hotch sighed, looking back at Spencer for a moment before he turned around and began to continue on his list of things to do.  

You sighed and grumbled to yourself, trying to focus your emotions yet again so that you could finish the reports on your desk. But as fate would have it, you couldn't do that. 

"(Y/N/N)... Would you like to take a walk with me? It's almost our break. Maybe you could use a bit of fresh air? Scientifically, going outside helps to clear your lungs as well as lower blood pressure and heart rate." Spencer spoke up, tapping your shoulder gently once he knew he had your attention. 

You shook your head and cleared your throat. "No… no I'm going to finish these reports first. They're more important." You start. 

Spencer shook his head, his eyes widened slightly. "No," he starts, standing up and walking over to you. "These reports aren't more important than your well-being. I haven't pushed because I want you to talk when you're ready. But you can't act like you aren't important." 

You scoff and go to reply, just as the sound of a slamming glass door echos through the bullpen, making everyone's eyes travel to the source of the noise. This also meant you. 

By the time you looked, two familiar eyes were staring coldly into yours. Two wrinkled hands clasped at your shirt collar and yanked you forward violently. 

"How dare you ungrateful-" Margaret quips, slapping you across the face before you could even react. "Selfish, and ignorant child!" 

You cough harshly, earning the feeling of Margaret's hand again across your face. "M-mother…" you murmured, the agents around you trying to separate the two of you. 

"No, you have gone too far now! I paid him to take you! You are his property! Go to him! I have lost too much for you to disobey like the brat of a child you've always been!" Margaret scrambled, trying to get out of the arms of a much stronger agent who held her back away from you. 

Someone, who you soon recognized as Garcia and Emily, helped you to your feet. Spencer had very quickly come to your aide, sending Garcia off to fetch Rossi and Hotch. 

You grumbled for a few moments, the anger you felt beginning to come to a head. "Really? You paid him? I thought he was just trying to get under my skin with that, Mother." You spat, taking a few steps forward before looking up into (e/c) eyes. 

Your mother scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking back at you coldly. "Of course I did. You need someone to finally put you in your place. To teach you the manners I had somehow missed." 

You growled at her continuance. Your fist clenched at your side. She was your mother. And this was what she chose to do? Instead of being by your side when you needed a mother most, she admitted to being a part of why you were raped in the first place. 

"So you admit to selling a human? To selling your only daughter, just because I wouldn't abide to your stupid fucking rules?" You glared, spitting out the words like venom on your tongue. 

Spencer went to stop you, but Emily pulled him back. You needed this. 

"Yes I-" Margaret began, but you quickly put a stop to her excuses. 

"No. You're going to let me share my opinion for ONCE in my life. You're going to stand there and face the monster that you created. Be the perfect housewife you insisted on creating with me." 

Your mother rolled her eyes, but surprisingly didn't speak up again. You were slightly baffled by her sudden respect. But it didn't last long. 

"You were never there for me when I needed you. When I was in the hospital, after what Peter did to me, I needed you. After Peter's threats, I needed you. After each low grade on a test, I needed you. Not the harsh yelling and lecture I received from you and father. I needed the reassurance that it wasn't the end of the world. Whenever I had nightmares from my never ending memory bank of trauma, you sent me back to bed with the flick of your hand. I remember every word, every scowl, every upturn of your nose, every single moment you've spared for me my entire life. You're lucky I don't charge you with assault and child abuse. I don't because you're my mother. I thought maybe one day…" you feel the hot, rushing tears fall from your cheeks, making you aware of your vulnerability in front of everyone. 

You sniffled and wiped your eyes before you continued. "T-that maybe one day you'd change. And I-I'd have my mom." A tearful smile formed on your face, staring at the woman who had cause so much of your misery. "But still, you choose to remind me of how unimportant I've always been. How I am just a pawn in your game of chess. Easily disposable. Well here's a reality check for you, Margaret." You snapped, pointing a finger against her chest. 

"Check. Cause I'm not going to rest until you and Peter are both sent to prison where you both so clearly belong!" You yell into her ear. "So much for motherly love." You whisper harshly afterwards, turning around so that she didn't get the satisfaction of seeing you fall apart. 

Hotch entered your vision soon after, gesturing for you to meet him in his office. You sigh shakily, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Spencer stops you for a moment, holding your arms. "H-hey… you don't have to go immediately, you know. You can stay for a minute." 

You recognize his extended olive branch and take it. He didn't need to even say another word for you to collapse into his arms, sobbing as hard as your heart had been begging to since you'd left the hospital that morning. 

Oh how the mighty have fallen.